#commander Lawrence

[uluthrek]

we as a fandom don’t talk about joseph lawrence enough. that fuckass attitude. that cunty scarf. the rings. the pizzazz. the expensive paintings he raided all museums of the nation for, not to display them but just so winslow can’t have them. the way he lets his marthas degrade him because he either gets off on it or thinks it‘s funny. that cunty way he turns around when spoken to. the genuine love and admiration he has for eleanor and his actual genuine regret for his actions that he doesn’t just put on to get what he wants like serena but that actually seems to gnaw at him constantly. the needless flamboyance when he essentially tells nick not to execute him. the way aunt lydia tries to blackmail him and he goes „ooooh, DISH, sister“ as soon as she mentions that she‘s got dirt on the other commanders as well. the way that somehow, bradley whitford plays a more sympathetic character on the handmaid‘s tale than on fucking brooklyn 99.

[glasskey]

Nick & Lawrence Mixtape

Ever since June wreaked havoc in Lawrence’s household in season 3, he’s been hanging with our boy Nick. Welcome one and all to the season 4 and 5 Gilead Boss mix

Thank you for your service to Gilead.

Thanks to June’s shenanigans, Lawrence is now due to be executed, Gilead has politely sent Nick Blaine to say “Thanks ever so” before the final curtain call, but unwittingly they’ve also sent Lawrence his exit strategy. Nick may be crafty, but Lawrence is a true strategist. He’s a brilliant psychoanalyst, who took all of 3 seconds to realize Blaine was in love with Osborne and that there was no way on God’s green earth, that baby was Fred’s.

Nick had the audacity to hook up with a Handmaid, is sporting a rebellious streak a mile wide and yet SOMEHOW he’s still alive. It’s obvious to Lawrence that Blaine’s extremely cunning and very, very useful. Lawrence is a cynical and astute political animal, soaked in Teflon, with more lives than a cat. He’s the quick witted, dodgy “friend” who talks you into all manner of shit. While he conceived Gilead he’s not really responsible for the ritualistic bullshit that seems to have been constructed out of his theories. As a result he greets any of it with utter disdain, and it is this same hatred for the religious ceremony of Gilead that Lawrence can sense in Nick Blaine.

At first Nick appears compliant and servile but when nudged in his June Osborne Achilles Heel, Lawrence is surprised to find how malleable and resourceful the young commander can be. Blaine turns up touting not only a free ticket out of death row for Lawrence, but also a chance to regain his previous powers.

Lawrence realizes immediately what June always knew; Blaine is an invaluable ally masquerading as nothing more than the resident “fetch and carry”. These two immediately set up an enchanting marriage of convenience in which much political back scratching may take place. For the next 2 seasons we remained glued to our screens as we watched Lawrence use Blaine’s deadly abilities to precisely maneuver pieces across the board, pulling himself out of the noose and all the way back up to the top.

She is never coming back to you.

“You’re getting very comfortable here” Nick says to Lawrence, it’s not just his house that he’s referring to, it’s also his somewhat apathetic acquiescence with the powers that be. “She changed you, she changed me” Nick says reminding Lawrence of the newfound purpose that June brought them both. Here we see a bit of a battle of wits with Lawrence trying to convince Nick, June has lost her value now and Nick not so subtly threatening to kick Lawrence out of his house and possibly back to the chopping block, if he doesn’t save her life. While Lawrence thinks it’s “nice to want things”, Blaine isn’t playing; he wants what he wants and he fully intends to get it. “You owe me”, Blaine states not once but twice, refusing to be denied.

Here in the dim light, Lawrence and Nick strike a deal that echoes throughout season 4 and 5. Lawrence has already realized he simply needs to push the June Osborne button and the resourceful young commander will do exactly as he’s bid. Conceding to Blaine’s demands to merely keep June alive, is a small price to pay for what he knows is Nicks lasting loyalty.

“She is NEVER coming back to you, why would she?” Lawrence says. There’s a deep connection between Nick and June of liberty and rebellion and here Lawrence tries to convince Nick that freedom has forgotten him and it’ll be better for everyone if he just gets comfy right where he is. Let’s give credit where credit is due, throughout season 4 and 5 Lawrence almost gets away with it. As intelligent as Nick may be, he is consistently emotionally vulnerable and it makes him easy prey. There’s part of me that wants to believe that Lawrence isn’t entirely opportunistic, he’s been uncomfortably close to the noose because of June and there’s no doubting he’s kind of got a soft spot for Nick, at least enough to want better than a sharp drop at the end of a rope for the young commander. As a result Lawrence suggests he move on, and Nick having lost hope, gets married. Lawrence may have the best of intentions, and his observation that June’s love “fucks people up” is not entirely wrong, but let’s face it ultimately he has got to go.

In Fred’s absence Nick is sorely missing the father figure he constantly craves and without June he’s feeling somewhat lost. Conveniently Lawrence has become a tad lonely ever since June departed his gloomy abode, and consequently he takes Nick under his wing like some kind of cuddly Darth Vader. Despite the illusion of a buddy comedy gone Gilead, the reality was that this relationship signified Nick’s deepening commitment to Gilead and the widening chasm between himself and June. Lawrence, the Architect of Gilead encourages Blaine to set up a new life complete with a house in the burbs, a compliant Gilead wifey who lives to knit and make coffee, and a leg up in government. It’s the peaceful home Blaine always wanted, always searched for and yet, there’s something not quite right. It’s nothing but a cheap illusion, a mere shadow at best, and despite his best efforts to assimilate, he aches for his true family.

I’m constantly watching Blaine cling to a compromise, ANY answer no matter how painful, that doesn’t involve inconveniencing June’s life. Here we see him try and inevitably fail once again.

Would your heart glow?

Here they’ve come straight from a meeting where Lawrence did his darndest to secure a cease fire and get some aid to the border, naturally he was shocked to find that Nick didn’t help him out with that one. Lawrence is a touch miffed, and as a consequence it earns Nick a nice dry as fuck pay out to let him know that he’s been a wee bit cold blooded, and maybe, just maybe he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. Lawrence’s cute, cutting quip also made light of Nicks deep affection for June, casting it instead as nothing more than a school boy crush. As usual Laurence is being a bit mouthy here and he definitely knows that’s not the case, but his point is valid: The Eyes don’t see everything.

If Nick thinks that he’s got a beat on June’s whereabouts by simply relying on them as a source, Lawrence is here to tell him he’s sadly mistaken; his devotion to her is not some sort of psychic GPS. “Very funny” Nick replies with some well-earned derision, but as we all know he’s constantly making mental notes and he promptly follows up by checking with his Mayday contacts. She’s in Chicago and he didn’t have a fucking clue, worse still is that in no time at all Lawrence has made a deal that involves Nick having to bomb it, with no guarantees she or ANY of the refugees seeking aid will actually survive. Nick does his best to side step this one but it’s to no avail, and he’s left looking like he’s about to return his breakfast to the desk in front of him. It’s Commander Putnam in particular who sticks the boot in here, forcing him to get a wriggle on and bomb his girlfriend and a bunch of innocent civilians. Blaine’s chillingly precise look and almost audible mental note, made me wonder if it was primarily this that earnt Putnam that bullet in later episodes.

At least part of Nicks journey involves being a military commander and this was done precisely to demonstrate the progression from simple recruit to an aggressive higher power that can be manipulated for the purposes of war and accumulation of power. Throughout the seasons we see Nick fulfill his commitments to Gilead with increasing reluctance, as he begins his journey from Gilead stooge to rebel fighter. It’s an awesome and complex journey that highlights personal growth and the desire to change in the face of great adversity. The bombing of Chicago is one of those moments that’s meant to illustrate Nick’s personal loss amongst the civilian casualties of war. “It’s the cost of doing business” Lawrence says to a sickened and cornered Blaine; the sacrifice of others for the greater good, or at least Lawrence’s version of it….even if it’s June.

I've been grooming Nick.

Technically a Lawrence and June moment but I’d like to take a moment and embellish on exactly what Lawrence had been up to. “I’ve been grooming Nick. Not sexually of course.” Lawrence says to a gob smacked June.

No shit. He’s convinced him to marry a nice girl in the burbs, back up his plot for New Bethlehem and be his personal assassin to get it done. Lawrence is a master manipulator, he wants what he wants, and Nick is simply no match for his human puppetry. As a reward for his continuing compliance, Lawrence assures Nick that he and June will be together again. Lawrence intends to get New Bethlehem completed, he likes to cover his bets and he knows that his best chips in this game are Nick and June. If he can get the young commander to back him he’s sure to have June getting cozy in New Bethlehem in no time. I’m sad to say that in S5 we nearly lost Blaine to the forces of Gilead, he simply lost hope when he “tried to let go” of June. In the dark he clings to the smallest ray of light, Lawrence’s dream for a better version of Gilead, some semblance of freedom.

I was never more conflicted about Lawrence than I was in S5, the moments of sheer manipulation of these two for his ultimate goal made me absolutely livid, but I also applauded his attempts to at least try to improve the cesspool that was Gilead. He was determined to “wrestle a better future from an unchangeable past”, but New Bethlehem wasn’t ENTIRELY just Lawrence attempt to make amends, it was also his best effort to “Kill off America once and for all” as Tuello astutely observed.

Audiences wondered why Nick would ask June to go along with Lawrence’s plan and actually go to New Bethlehem, the truth is he was fucking clueless. By this point he was so far under Lawrence’s sway, he couldn’t see the wood for the trees. He’d managed to convince him that it was some sort of Gilead version 2.0 that the UN would immediately embrace with open arms, in which Blaine could live happily ever after with the love of his life. June was devastated, but let’s face it how could she have known that Lawrence had turned Nick from “a puppy” into his lapdog over the last year. Lawrence had already admitted to June that he’d used religious nut jobs as a delivery system to save humanity, so it should have come as no surprise that he would use the two lovers to bring New Bethlehem to fruition. Many years ago Nick Blaine dug himself a hole and sadly he just kept digging. You want to “stay out of trouble” in Gilead, you’d best pick up a shovel. The way he saw it; June had a family who loved her, a family to return to, so he let her go and got settled in the pit. Nick and June’s meeting in 5 09 was one of those moments that made it painfully clear, not only how much Blaine loves her, but how desperately he needs her.

You could have killed her.

“It wasn’t my decision” Lawrence yelps at Nick as he takes a vicious right hook from the young commander. Personally I’m not sure if I believe him or not, suffice to say he knew about it, he did nothing to stop it, he purposefully hid it from Blaine, and MOST importantly, he should have known better. June has left a trail of dead commanders in her wake and it was only 10 episodes prior that she and Blaine dragged Fred into a forest to die. Usually I’d be giving Lawrence snaps for his intelligence but it was just one episode prior that June had officially “broken up” with Lawrence, with the understanding that they were “Never ever ever, getting back together”. This was a massive blunder. We’re 5 seasons in, because the plot demands it June’s basically unkillable and the word on the street is always, ALWAYS keep your fucking hands off June Osborn. It tends to make Blaine a tad bit grumpy.

Nick Blaine is, for all intents and purposes, a trained assassin obsessively in love with the mother of his child. Lawrence knew this, he’d just spent the better part of the last 2 seasons pushing Nick’s patented Osborne key whenever he wanted him to comply. Why the actual fuck did he think he’d get away with it? At the start of 5 10 we saw a massive red flag, a verbal tussle between the two about Osborne, it was clear; she was the rock that would break them apart. Up until that point he’d been compliant but now Blaine was starting to get that look in his eyes; deadly, detached, focused.

Stupidly Lawrence had recruited a bagman and assumed it would make him immune from getting very, very dead. Lawrence spent the entirety of S4 and 5 trying to set up a cushy life for Blaine, it even looked like he might be able to lure his precious June back for him, but it was all for naught. As Lawrence so eloquently put it “Gilead’s gonna Gilead” and despite his best efforts, ultimately it did. In Ep10 S5, Blaine strides unresponsive past his pregnant wife, striking his mentor on his wedding day in a room full of commanders, protesting June Osborn’s assassination attempt. This singular act is a violent and decisive rejection of Gilead’s guiding hand, its binding social contract, its hierarchy and its influence. It is one massively definitive statement, all condensed into the space of 10 seconds. This scene transported me all the way back to S1 when June cried incredulously to Nick that she couldn’t believe she told the Ambassador she was happy. “You’re being too hard on yourself, you were in a room full of commanders” he replies. June’s first act of rebellion is to share her true name with the other Handmaid’s and it is at that point that she share’s it with Blaine. It is here he takes his first small step as a rebel when he chooses to keep her secret and never use her slave name again.

This blow and his march across the border marks the final step in his journey to true rebellion. Where previously his loyalties had been somewhat divided, he now belongs completely and utterly to June and Mayday. Throughout the seasons Blaine has constantly displayed a need for guidance from a father figure and it’s been interesting to note how the personality of this father figure changes over time as his loyalties shift and he regains his freedom. Waterford is cold and brutal, conditioning Blaine to be servile and militant. Lawrence is a cunning, political animal, who tutors Blaine in the Machiavellian like maneuverings of the Gilead upper echelons. Ultimately though it is Tuello, the gentle diplomat who will teach Nick his individual worth and offer him sanctuary. Season 6, I can guarantee, the Nick / Lawrence bromance will officially be well and truly over.

Next time we'll be looking at our love triangle and character themes. See you then.

[invisibleicewands]

"Cake? Gentleman."

[ryukisgod]

[moriartyyouwhore]

if I’m gonna have permanent bruises on my knees anyway… can they at least be from kneeling to blow Joel Miller

[abovethegaragepodcast]

Happy Valentine’s Day from The Handmaid’s Tale 106!! 🔥♥️🔥

[socialoutsider1a]

My favorite actors are Hugh Laurie- (Gregory House in House MD), Bradley Whitford- (Josh Lyman in The West Wing and Commander Joseph Lawrence in the Handmaid's Tale), David Hewlett- (Rodney McKay in Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis and Stargate Universe), Robert Sean Leonard- (James Wilson in House MD), Michael Shanks- (Daniel Jackson in Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis and Stargate Universe) and Jeremy Sisto- (Jubal Valentine in FBI).

I also look forward to seeing all of them playing more villains in the future because they're all amazing in that role.

[lady-z-writes]

Just going through notes on my phone and found some Commander Lawrence x OC stuff I planned to make into a fic but chose not to.

So here's some little pieces I'm actually not hating. Some spicy, some sad. Very niche post. And one, big trigger warning...

Tw: miscarriage.

We've both experienced loss, we know this. He's spent countless nights drunk with me, watching in silence as I let the fire dance in front of my face, swallow down tears.

It takes him four days to ask, but I feel enough gratitude toward his kindness, I at least owe him this.

"This is my first post since I had a miscarriage."

His eyes flick toward me, mouth a hard line, but I see a spark of understanding in his expression. The empty bedroom upstairs for his wife, the news Aunt Lydia told me before my post: Eleanor passed three months ago. He's lost, too.

"I see."

Is there...anger I see? Does he think I'm not fit to carry a child; that I can't?

I finish my drink; stare at him until he turns to me.

"Quite a loss, heavy - especially given these circumstances." He swallows a mouthful of his drink. "My assumption is they've assured you you're fit to try again, as they say?"

I nod solemnly, look in my lap. So it's like that, then. Maybe he isn't much different than the other Commanders.

"...do you want to?" There's no urgency in his voice - no demand, no force. Simply a question, as if this loss happened at a time before Gilead.

"Yes," I find myself saying, partly because it's true, partly because it's expected.

He nods then, tries reading my expression, then stands.

I hold my breath, count to five. He's before me now, fingers slipping between my knees for the empty glass I'm holding there. I let it go, exhale.

"You're younger than my last handmaid."

We aren't supposed to talk about her; I know this.

"Yes."

"You buy into all this or are you a rebel too?"

I open my mouth to speak, almost forgetting myself.

He raises his eyebrows at me, returns with my drink, hovers before me.

"The place isn't bugged - you can speak candidly here."

I reach for the glass - something to do with my hands, but he pulls it back, lowers his chin at me.

"I wanted to be a mother...before."

He hands over my glass now, sits beside me, knee-to-knee.

"And now?"

Tears form, tears I've swallowed back for months- aunt Lydia only allowed so long to mourn before she forced me into a doctor's office and made them confirm that I was ripe to try again.

I nod, shakily lift my drink to my mouth and swallow again.

He hangs his head for a moment, sighs. "Even in all this?" His voice isn't judgemental though, curious.

"A girl can dream," I almost laugh, slide the stupid hat from my hair.

This catches his attention and he's almost transfixed by it as I move to unclasp the pins to let it down.

"May i?"

"You never have to ask," He speaks it so softly, I almost think I've imagined it.

My fingers glide through it, tussling it gently so it falls in messy waves over my shoulders.

"And what do you dream about?" he asks in a voice that's almost whispered, almost half-asleep though his wide eyes meet mine.

"Finding a nice Commander. Getting out of this place," I scrunch up my nose, "bringing our child with us."

"Canada?"

I shrug, "anywhere but here."

"But I haven't dreamt of those things in quite a while," I wave off, then add, "and then i met you."

He coughs, pulls his hands closer to his body, settles his fingers around his drink so they're not creeping toward my hair.

"Beg pardon?"

I shrug. "I feel safe here, with you. I can rest easily. I can dream," I clarify.

"Ah," he huffs. "I don't dream anymore. Just nightmares."

My hand finds his forearm when he goes to take a final gulp of his glass. He halts, stares. This is the first time we've touched.

My fingers interlock with his and we simply sit, my fingers rubbing over his knuckles.

"Did you come in talking like this at your last placement?"

I laugh loudly. "That's hilarious."

"I thought so, too." He shoots me a soft smile.

"Why aren't you...like the others?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"No."

"Good. Because fuck that."

It's still a little jarring, hearing him speak so candidly.

"My...wife...and I..." He pauses. "She wouldn't like me behaving any differently to you girls...and...it would be an insult to her memory."

How did I get so lucky?

That night, I pray for the first time in three months. I pray for the Commander, I pray for his wife, I pray for my lost child, and I pray for myself.

The night is filled with dreams, memories returning of Commander Hillebrand and Mrs. Hillebrand's anger when I lost the baby. Reliving. If I'm not dreaming of a future, I'm reliving.

•••

My eyes shoot open and I launch to sit up in my bed.

"You were screaming," Commander Lawrence's voice hums through the darkness and I suddenly feel the weight of him on the edge of the bed. "So much for those dreams, huh?" A dry laugh.

He's about to stand but the thought of being alone in this room, my memories plaguing me...

"Will you...stay?" It's barely a whisper and I can see the shock even through the darkness.

"...yes."

And, to his credit, he does. Though, I can't sleep. He rests in the armchair beside my bed, dozes a time or two before realizing that I'm not sleeping, but staring at the doorway.

He clears his throat, stretches.

"No one's gonna come in here, you know. It's my house."

"Nothing is ours," I speak grimly. "Not here. Not even for you."

"Sheesh, you wake up so cheery."

"How can they do it?" At my question, he silences. "How can they just believe that a child is theirs, disregard our worth, force us to walk away after the feedings are done?"

It takes a long time but his response comes like a whip, "you're just a vessel to them."

"It was my baby. Mine. She had no right to mourn."

"Did they kick you out after that happened?"

I nod quietly. "As if it were my fault. They assumed it would happen again, didn't want to take a chance."

"They cast you out as infertile." He hums.

"They treated me like a murderer."

It surprises me he wanted me here.

•••

I sip my coffee, hum at the warmth, close my eyes and focus on the taste swirling around on my tongue.

When I open them back up, Lawrence is smirking at me and I shoot him an inquisitive look.

He shakes his head, lifts his own mug, "I just enjoy you enjoying things."

We both know that it's been a long 5 years without. Lawrence lived a pretty cushy existence considering, but as a handmaid I'm not granted such luxuries.

I'm again reminded of how we would look to a passerby in a world before this one - this older man and a 30-something me. But he's comfort to me. Lawrence and I can exchange a glance and understand exactly what the other is thinking. It comes with the territory of being constantly monitored in Gilead.

I can still remember laying in the Commanders bed for the first time; soft sheets, sunbeams trying to come through the closed curtains, the weight of him beside me, the dip of the bed.

When I turned to him, he'd been staring; arm propping his head up, fingers hovering above my shoulder. He looked like he'd been caught, the fear in his eyes was enough to make me almost laugh. How did I get to a point to make a Commander fearful? Wonders never cease.

I lean into his warmth, kiss his open palm, almost permission to touch me.

This is strange territory for the both of us. He, not having taken a lover since his wife, not performing a ceremony with any handmaid other than June because they were forced to. And me, not being given pleasure in 5 years.This bed is not meant for this.

He hardly ever sleeps here, I've noticed. It's either in the study or crashed on the couch.

"We're in some serious trouble," his groggy voice groaned with a soft laugh punctuating the sentence.

"Is this...going to be the last time?" I managed to whisper the question that'd been on my mind all night.

He looked haunted then.

"I'm not sure," he hums then adds, "I hope not." And I'm comforted by this.

After so long of being used sexually, steeling myself, locking this part of myself away, actually being touched because I've wanted it is such an addiction now. Thinking about only having this feeling once fills me with grief.

"You don't think Amara will talk, do you?" He knows her better than I do, but I can tell he needs this reassurance so I shake my head; his Martha shouldn't.

"You picked me," I whisper. "Why?"

He laughs without humor. "You're gonna hate me."

"No, I won't."

He sits up now, stops touching me, breaking that contact, I'm guessing, before he thinks I will eventually.

"You were a counselor. And...I lost my wife..."

I smile softly at that sentiment. "You wanted healing."

There are tears now.

"I wanted forgiveness. I wanted someone to look at me without judgement...what is that called? The term evades me..."

"-unconditional positive regard."

"I guess I was just planning on using you for something else entirely. It's not much better than the other Commanders."

I reach for him then, pull him down against my chest. "I'm grateful for you, Lawrence. It's a blessing to be here."

The tears are dripping down my naked chest, he's gasping and breaking down in sobs.

His facial hair tingles against my skin but I don't pull away, I run my fingers through his hair and give him time.

•••

I'm needy again and he's....loving it. The cocky smirk on his face when I meet him in the study is so overwhelming to me I have to hold onto the doorframe.

"Close it," he instructs. I follow orders.

But now I want to call the shots. I stride over to him, holding my dress up over my knees, padding barefoot to the desk.

"Can I help you?" He speaks evenly. I bite my lip, round the desk, wait for him to invite me to sit. He does. I hoist myself on the desk. He blinks slowly when I place my feet on the armrests of his chair.

I see him looking, though he's trying not to. I'm panty-less, exposed, shivering but not from the cold.

"Is this what you want?" His tongue darts out of his mouth to lick his lower lip.

I nod, rest my hand on his shoulder, pull him toward me and then down.

He gets on his knees and my mind flashes to that red cushion - all the times I've knelt before a ceremony.

His hands are warm on my thighs as he traces up them, grips my knees to guide me closer to the edge. His head dips down and I feel his facial hair harsh against my skin, open-mouthed kisses against me, trailing closer and closer to my cunt.

And then he spreads me, presses a thumb to my clit, dances his tongue around my folds until I'm gripping at his hair.

I don't demand a change of pace - I'm chasing any and all pleasure at this point.

He eagerly slips a finger into me, arching just right and I let out a loud gasp.

He shushes me then, moving slow, reminding me that we could be caught.

I cover my mouth when he starts pumping into me, pressing harder on my clit.

I'm fluttering around his finger in no time and he seems pretty pleased with himself, based on his expression. He looks hungry, looks flustered.

His pants are tented when he stands and I groan inwardly. It'll be too long until it's safe for us to fuck in the bedroom. Unfortunately, I know all too well.

Only he's unzipping quickly, sliding his suspenders down. My mouth goes dry. I glance over my shoulder at the closed door.

"We'll be fine," he reassures, "you just can't be loud, my girl."

It's a haunting feeling - to be content once in a while in this world.

[riverofempathy]

Funny moment in The Handmaid’s Tale S5 E9

Spoilers!!

Mrs. Putnam: This is a marriage proposal?

Comm. Lawrence: Yep, yep, so what do you say?

M.P.: I have a choice?

C.L. (looking at Aunt Lydia): That’s… hurtful.

[astro-tag-9]

Hello, can you give me a male character based off of these placements? Thanks.

Sun in Gemini

Moon in Aquarius

Mercury in Gemini

Venus in Taurus

Mars in Gemini

🖤 Commander Joseph Lawrence 🖤

( THE HANDMAID’S TALE )

[aimlessetymology]

i find commander lawrence such an important character and just a vehicle for people to understand how gender and interpersonal relationships function. the handmaid’s tale does have its flaws but i really love that joseph lawrence exists in that universe

[iwasbored777]

Lawrence really told Serena he will protect her and her baby and then kicked her out of Gilead and sent her off to a household where she has no rights and where they treat her like a handmaid and want to steal her baby and when she asked for his help he didn't want to help her. I don't even love Serena but I'm really sick of this dude.

[glasskey]

Lawrence & June's Mix tape Vol. 2

This mix tape contains easily my favourite Lawrence and June moments and it takes us all the way from the shadowy hallways of Lawrence’s abode to the far reaches of Canada.

I'll bet that felt good.

From the moment we meet Eleanor, she is seen constantly stifling a mouthful of secrets and covering up improprieties, like dead bodies with a pretty new flower bed. She’s the voice of Lawrence’s conscience and he does just about everything he can to keep her out of harm’s way. In the episode Unknown Caller we learn that Lawrence was once young and sensitive, partial to making Eleanor mixtapes, far from the shell of a man who now keeps her hidden.

After June and Eleanor’s jaunt down to Hannah’s school, Lawrence notices the fresh air and sunlight has done Eleanor the world of good. Consequently he asks June to start spending some time with her to hopefully alleviate the effect, the horror show he calls home, is having on his wife.

Never one to miss a trick, June takes the opportunity here to really stick the knife in Lawrence and give it a nice deep twist. Given the delicate state of his wife, why hasn’t he gotten her out? Doesn’t he realize he’s killing her with his own creation? June’s not asking questions, rather confronting Lawrence with the truth of what he already knows. Lawrence looks like he’s been hit, she’s found a deep painful recess where his guilt festers every single day. There’s no rage, no threat, nothing except suddenly the appearance of a deep wound as Lawrence chokes out the words “I bet that felt good”.

It seems both a dig at her for being so underhanded and an acknowledgement that June has so very many, many justifiable grievances. I mean who could blame her for wanting to indulge in a little knife twisting after so many years of abuse? June’s stay in Lawrence abode is simultaneously therapeutic, illuminating and empowering to say the least. Prior to this Gilead had been a nameless, faceless construct. Now June’s like Dorothy finally discovering what a huge liar the Wizard of Oz actually was, just a sad old man with a slight of hand and a world full of regret.

It came for you.

Lawrence has constantly argued the merits and rewards of Gilead with June, always assuming that he would never have to bear any of the costs, but this is the moment that he finally has to pay the piper. Lawrence is extremely skilled at psycho analysis of all those around him, but he can barely stomach the hideous reflection in the mirror. The fact is he’s a whole lot of talk and not much action, in other words, Lawrence isn’t a TRUE believer. If he was he would participate in the ceremony and he would demand compliance from Eleanor. From the get go their relationship appears different; he loves her, dotes on her, fiercely protects her and Junes attempts to manipulate him through acts of infidelity are brutally rebuffed. Eleanor is the figurative voice of conscience calling from beneath the floorboards, and it’s no coincidence that Lawrence goes to great lengths to keep her away from official guests lest she blabs.

During the forced ceremony she screams and wails loudly, Lawrence pleads for her to be quiet, pledging his undying love and begging for her forgiveness for doing the one thing he swore he would never do. It’s all for naught, Eleanor is absolutely inconsolable, he promised this would never happen. It’s fucking heartbreaking to see Eleanor’s incredible distress at what is about to happen to June, she’s fragile, helpless and utterly cornered. Ironically it is June who soothes her and leads Lawrence through what must be done.

This ceremony engineered by Fred, is the moment that directly results in Eleanor’s death in later episodes. This scene elicites the devastatingly cool and casual “at least it wasn’t you” mic drop from June, and undoubtedly earned Fred a blind eye from Lawrence as Nick dragged him off to die. During S3 we observe a growing if not begrudging respect for June from Lawrence and the idea that he now has to rape this woman in front of his beloved wife is utterly horrifying. June sits waiting calmly for the inevitable, she understands this moment of panic and trauma all too well, and above all the absolute futility of fighting it. This is the moment that Gilead in its full walking womb, horror show glory “Comes to his door”, and rips the veil off Lawrence’s illusions. His wife is the voice of empathy and conscience and he finally understands, his monstrous creation will surely kill her sooner or later. As Lawrence and June share a drink, he offers June a way out and a means of escape for his wife, but as we later learn, tragically it’s too little too late. The deed is done and for the remaining seasons Eleanor will haunt Lawrence’s every step

You really think this is still your house?

The beginning of the episode Mayday scares the absolute shit out of me, June is just getting her first introduction to Gilead, watching women being brutally categorized as she is herded into the back of a truck. June begs for help, the guard remains indifferent. The entire scene reeks of desperation, fear and dark unknown territory. Deep trauma lives here. “To the ruthless go the spoils” June muses, so what is she willing to do to get 52 children out of Gilead? Everything it seems, for her power now lies in her willingness to die for her cause. June officially has nothing to lose and everything to gain; she doesn’t know where Hannah is and Nick is very likely dead. For a dictatorship like Gilead that relies on fear to maintain order, individuals like these that inspire leadership, are a fucking nightmare.

The minute June returned from the hospital, super twitchy and scheming gleefully about escape plans openly, Lawrence should have known his power was a thing of the past. From the very first shot of this end of season showdown between June and Lawrence, it’s obvious he’s not going to win this one. June sits at the head of a long dining table with a gun in the center like her sword laid out for battle. Lawrence ever the expert in human behavior, senses June’s dangerous instability. He tries to gently navigate her and wrestle back control without enraging her further. She plays with her gun like she’s twirling her hair, musing over the brutal injustice of being a woman in Gilead.

“This is still my house, young lady” he stammers pathetically in the face of her frightening new found power. “You really think this is still your house?” she scoffs, his home is festering with rebels and his previous authority now means nothing. As Osborn so eloquently warned him at the start of the season “they’ll put you on the wall, even a commander”. With the words “get me a fucking map”, Osborne makes it clear that not only will Lawrence be steering clear of their plans, he WILL help facilitate them. The reality is Lawrence willingly relinquished his control the minute he adopted the most notorious handmaid in Gilead and turned his home into a half-way house for rebels. “You’re not going to be any trouble are you?” Lawrence asks June when she first arrives “No sir” she replies, but make no mistake, news of June Osborne had reached his gilded prison long ago.

Gilead's gonna Gilead.

In S5 the boundaries between Canada and Gilead began to get a little hazy, with audiences wondering why Lawrence was able suddenly to stroll in and out of Canada. As we later discovered this blurring of the lines was an intentional device used to demonstrate Gilead’s ability to seep across the border. At the inception of New Bethlehem, Lawrence shows up on June’s doorstep to ask for her help to make it look legit. She’ll get to live there with Nick, Luke, Hannah and Nicole, like one big Gilead sized Brady bunch, but there’s just one catch; Hannah still has to do the whole “child bride” thing. She’s seriously conflicted, understandably she is desperate to be with her child but this is a bridge too far. She pleads with Lawrence to stop it and he shrugs it off with an almost resolute “Gilead’s gonna Gilead”. June launches into a blistering attack about how he’s responsible for all of Gilead’s horror but apparently she’s not telling him anything he doesn’t already know.

“I was trying to save humanity…..and I did it, I fucking did it, then it got away from me….it went septic”. Lawrence is calculating and manipulative, however June always manages to pry out his emotional core and here he finally breaks down admitting the incredible weight of his conscience. He can barely live with himself; Gilead’s like a wound and Lawrence is desperately trying to stop the rot. Currently Gilead looks like a U.N. nightmare, but perhaps given a generation or two the fanaticism may ease up just a wee bit, he argues to a skeptical June. Hannah might get the short end of the stick but Nicole won’t. He needs June’s thumbs up if he wants to actually get any outside residents to pull up sticks and move there.

But Lawrence also needs HER, he knows that in the larger scheme of things Osborne gets shit done. Lawrence may have built the village, but he’s certainly smart enough to realize that it was the gutsy little handmaid who managed to smuggle out a planeload of children, when all he’d done was sit around in his dusty old house for nigh on a decade.

Cups of sugar

Make no mistake, this IS the Lawrence and June break up scene and it’s no coincidence that next episode Nick and Lawrence break up too. Here the gloves are off, Lawrence tries to lure her with the promise of Hannah and Nick, but in exchange he demands she relinquish her pride and forsake her beliefs. June is enraged that they are being used as bartering chips. It’s crystal clear in this moment that just as Lawrence has the power to withhold Hannah from June, so too he holds Nick firmly in his clutches.

Lawrence’s reference to Nick and June’s relationship to “a cup of sugar” is dropped as a humorous quip but it’s insultingly reductionist and he knows it. Just as living next door to her enslaved daughter should be enough, an affair with the man she loves should also suffice. As far as Lawrence is concerned, June should be grateful, just as Nick should be grateful for his pseudo family in the burbs, why can’t they just be happy with the scraps?

June doesn’t pull any punches, here she tells him point blank that his dear departed wife had died from the heartbreak of the man he’d become. She reveals she’d watched Eleanor die and did nothing to stop it. Despite his existing suspicions, Lawrence is devastated by June’s admission none the less. I was reminded of the June and Serena break up scene in S3 in which they both collapsed into a smoldering, teary wreck of raw brutal truth. Lawrence spent both S4 and 5 trying to become “a better man” but ultimately he couldn’t help himself. He’s a political animal, and after losing Eleanor, giving Gilead a nice little make over was pretty much all he had left to live for. Lawrence knew that Nick and June were desperate to be a family again and he used it for currency to bring one of Gilead’s most notorious rebels to heel, and hopefully his own life some meaning.

Instead of thanking him for his offer, June promptly disintegrates into an inhumane fit of furious rage. Lawrence’s proposal of a life half lived in New Bethlehem is nothing but an attempt to bend June to Gilead’s will once again, and a way to hopefully finally ease his conscience. I was always confident in Lawrence’s abilities to maneuver pieces across the board, but watching June literally frothing at the mouth and seething with venom, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Lawrence hadn’t gotten just a tad bit greedy this time, and bitten off more than he could chew.

Join me next time for a Mixtape from our favourite S4 and 5 bromance: Nick and Lawrence.

[dinathalawriter]

Bernard Holland and Commander Lawrence have exactly the same style and the same French voice. So basically, Holland is Silo's commander.

[downthewishingwell]

Inspired by "Infinite Jest", Chapter 15 by @qarl-grimes

Images found on Pinterest

[lilylisa]

Me slowly slipping into reading fics again. I need more but there is no more angst and unhinged content for my tender heart to consume, I ingested it all already. This is probably.... Fine. (please send help)