#coming up with something similar where it's like... trauma that shaped him into the person he is but not a justification or excuse

[zeninsama-moved]

omg I’m also up to chapter 11….. the author finished the story last year but they released a surprise epilogue this year and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since….to this day I still wonder…. but yeh this fic re-wired my brain i find it funny how Naoya yn and gojo start off with so much denial about their feelings and each chapter gets more heart-wrenching when very subtle details get revealed …like the dark shit that happens in the zenin household had my eyes bulging out like….is that what they meant….oh fuck💀💀💀💀 also the intended miscarriage, backstabbing and negative pregnancy test still hurts my heart so much TO THIS DAY THERE IS SO MUCH REGRET IN THIS STORY….. I REMEMBER NAOYA TUGGING AT MY HEART STRINGS AT THIS PART OF THE STORY AND ALSO FEELING REALLY BAD FOR GOJO BC YOU CAN REALLY SEE HOW MUCH HE ADORES HER BUT HE’S COMING SECOND right now😭😭😭🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 I love how Naoya and gojo have so many similarities and differences but they still love to spoil yn hurghhhhh

checking in with my beloved naoya anon from hell....... I'VE LEFT OFF ON CHAPTER 20 BECAUSE I HAVE A LITTLE MORE WORK TO DO TODAY BUT I WANTED TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS!

i felt my heart break into a billion pieces when reader and naoya finally said goodbye to each other and she was begging him not to go. when she was imagining what their life would be like together in a kinder world. promising she would find him again even though there are no happy endings for them. good god. that trope always makes me cry so hard!

BIG TW but especially now that she's considering going to hell just to be with him again, her husband that never had to force her to love him ;-; but it makes me soft knowing she's choosing to stay because of megumi and tsumiki, when she saw the framed photo of them i immediately remembered her telling megumi she wouldn't leave again </3

WHAT NAOYA SAW IN HER DOMAIN THO... REVEALING THAT THEIR FIRST BABY WAS A LITTLE GIRL AND CONSIDERING JUST SAYING FUCK IT AND TAKING OFF TO A PLACE WHERE IT WOULDN'T MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then the negative pregnancy test being so heartbreaking because she wanted to still have a part of him with her </3 i feel like a military wife from ye olden days wondering when my husband will return from war this is MISERABLE!!!!!

also kinda unrelated but the song strangers by ethel cain lowkey reminds me of naoya from this fic and their relationship... more specifically the last bit – "found you just to tell you that i made it real far / and that i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did / while you were torn apart / i would still wait with you there" & "just know that I love you / (i do) / and i'll see you when you get here"

brb gonna go cry and surround myself in the smell of osmanthus tea and tobacco

[ideas-4-stories]

Cross guild romance prompt:

When S-Hawk and S-Croc are first brought to the Guild or taken in, they both bond with their adult organic counterparts. But they actually really REALLY love Buggy.

He has that energy of Safe For Children, he's actually really really good with kiddos, especially ones with trauma. He really became the kinda person he wanted and needed when he was a lil'un. Buggy really likes kids, honestly, he just doesn't interact with them much, especially lately what with his newfound notoriety. Back in the East, at least, he could go relatively under cover and set up a circus event. Now, he's got his hands tied with options.

Crocodile and Mihawk are both surprised by this but don't particularly care. So what if the clown can make balloon animals and makes the boys actually smile and laugh? He's just a clown. Clowns do that. Whatever.

It only comes to a head when, late one evening, Mihawk goes to check on the boys when he senses a strange disturbance. Buggy beat him there. The swordsman watches from the doorway as Birdie (his own seraphim, name pending, nickname in the meantime) sits on the clown's lap, rubbing tears from his eyes. Angel (Croc's seraphim, name pending, nickname in the meantime) is wrapped up against the clown's chest. The three are in the rocking chair, Buggy holding both of the boys close, comforting them with hands in hair or petting backs. And he's singing softly to them. It's a language Mihawk has never heard before, to his knowledge. Though it DOES remind him of some of the seemingly senseless babble from Shanks when he drank far too much. He stays in the shadows, watching. Observing. Memorizing.

He refuses to acknowledge the warmth in his chest as anything other than mild heartburn.

<>

Crocodile is faced with a similar situation but very much different. It's midday for one. And there are no tears or need for comfort involved for another.

It was a cooler day, and he'd seen hide nor hair from the clown for more than a few hours. Truly, a horrific notion.

He ends up finding Buggy in the kitchen, hair in a messy bun and wearing an apron. The kids are with him as well, in oversized aprons. All three are a mess, laughing, flour and powdered sugar on her faces, aprons, in their hair. It's chaotic. It's loud. It's... happy.

Crocodile just watches for a bit, as the boys bounce and squeal over the dark chocolate and red velvet cake they made, Buggy gently walking them through piping designs. He chuckles when they make a mistake, nudges them with his hip and calls it "avant garde", waves off any concern. He's gentle with them as he guides tiny, deceptively soft little hands in loops and designs, laying out stencils and sifting powdered sugar to make shapes. It's cavity inducing.

Especially when Angel, hair held back with a headband decorated with frogs, looks up at Buggy and asks without hesitation, "Can we take some to Father and Papa, mama Bug?"

Crocodile tenses. His eyes go wide. Has the clown been coaching them, has he been-

Then he catches sight of Buggy blushing, staring wide eyed at Angel. "What did you call me, Angie?"

"Called you mama Bug. Why?"

Buggy kneels down, smiling softly despite the visible confusion. "Why did you call me that, gumdrop?"

Birdie chips in at that point, leaning to peek over his brother's shoulder. "Because you're Mama."

Buggy giggles, tucking a loose curl back. "I meant, where did you silly sweeties learn that?"

Both boys grin brightly. "Books! And that story book you read us all the time, the one with the princes and knights and dragons! Papa is the big dragon, and Father is the king!" They both turn blinding smiles at the clown. "And you're the queen! 'Cause the queen is nice and warm and fun and smart and pretty! And the queen is the princes' mama, so you're mama. Mamas are supposed to be nice and cozy and take care of us. Like you do! So you're mama!"

Buggy sniffles, smiling so fondly, so softly, it makes something in Crocodile thump roughly. He won't put a name to it. He refuses.

When Buggy cups the boys' cheeks, presses a kiss to their foreheads, the logia user turns on his heel and walks away.

<><>

Just. The seraphims up and deciding that the cross guild leaders are the parents and playing accidentally-on-purpose matchmakers. Mihawk and Crocodile angrily falling for the Clown because the introduction of children has opened a new face for him, a new perspective to view and they're so pissed about it. They don't even want to beat him up anymore. They lay awake at night thinking about him. They're so mad. They're feral.

The kids are just like "wow, our dads are dumb. We should help!"

Cue a series of absolutely wild shenanigans, and Buggy is just. So confused. Then so done. So tired. He needs a nap. Maybe an energy drink. Maybe both at once.

S-Hawk and S-Croco makes sense to bond with their adult counterparts or come to a mutual tolerance of each other. The seraphim children really REALLY love Buggy because he has that SAFE energy for kids. I like that headcanon that he’s really good with kiddos, indeed he became the person for children that he wanted when he was little bug.

Buggy must be scared of interacting with kids after becoming one of the Emperor of the Sea. Yeah, Buggy could be a ringmaster and other performers in a circus back in the East Blue.

Headcanon: Buggy can make the greatest balloon animals because why not?

Mihawk going to check on the boys and find Buggy beat him to it, the clown hugging them both and calming them both. Birdie and Angel (holy stars what cute nicknames, let me guess all three have to come to a decision on what S-Croco and S-Hawk’s names will truly be and the seraphims must agree on them) Then Buggy starts singing to them! Mihawk’s heart!

Love One Piece having different languages than the common one… Maybe the language that the clown is singing in the Wado’s original language! Or maybe Roger or another Roger Pirate could speak another language and that’s what Buggy is singing in? IDK

Crocodile facing a similar situation, but it’s happier and more fun because the kids and Buggy are making treats (When you wrote that Crocodile having seen Buggy more than a couple times and to Crocodile it was a horrifying notion… does that mean Crocodile was looking for Buggy!!!) That mafia boss finding Buggy in the kitchen with the children. Awwwwwwwwww

It’s chaotic fun for Buggy and the seraphims, and they are making dark chocolate and red velvet cake! That’s so fucking cute! Squealing and wanting to kick my feet in the air of how cute the imagines I see are!!! Buggy walking them through piping the best he can, telling them that their mistakes don’t matter, and the cake still looks amazing. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

How Angel (love the headband decorated with frogs, you know that was once Buggy’s headbands or Buggy bought it for him) shocks both adults because he calls Crocodile - Father, Mihawk - Papa, and Buggy - Mama Bug! (I don't think it's only because Angel called Buggy - Mama) So, does Birdie call Mihawk - Father and Crocodile - Papa?

Crocodile thinking Buggy taught him to do that, but Buggy is as confused Crocodile is (Calling the Seraphim Gumdrop, that’s a cute nickname) Birdie agreeing with his brother about calling Buggy - Mama Bug and they learned it from books. (I read like Birdie was the one saying it, so Papa Crocodile is the big dragon, Father Mihawk being the king and Mama Buggy as the queen)

Buggy being emotional about this is so him. Crocodile’s heart thumping against his chest while Buggy is pressing a kiss on their foreheads. Going back to making the cake with Angel and Birdie as Crocodile leaves the kitchen, probably going to where Mihawk is.

Love that the seraphims are accidentally-on-purpose matchmakers and deciding the cross leaders are their parents. Love how Mihawk and Crocodile are anger that they are falling for the clown. Love that those two are lying awake and thinking about Buggy.

The kids thinking their dada are dumb and think everything will be well if they help. In the end everything was fine… but in the middle? Holy stars what did those two do? Yeah, Buggy will be needing bot an energy drink and a nap, so confused and done with what’s happening.

[valictini]

I want to take a moment to appreciate all the cool stuff that Tubbo's death brought to the RP.

(obv talking about the characters there)

First of all, the way that it was the culmination of months of RP where Tubbo isolated himself more and more and more, until he genuinely thought no one cared about him? Him constantly putting his last lives on the line, culminating into an EGG of all people killing him? Delicious. Also we got to see Creation again! And we learned a bit more about Tubbo himself! He lost his purpose... Which apparently is a program of some sort? Wdym he wasn't alive to begin with? Is he a cybord-adjacent being like Aypierre? Or maybe something completely different, like a code? A fully grown egg??? So much to think about!

(I could just feel the excitement in cc!Tubbo when he saw the death coming like awwww yes it's all coming together)

(Also absolutely HEARTBROKEN that he died literally like 30 minutes before the Valentine's day event where Fred was apparently supposed to show up!!!! Guy really couldn't chose a worse (better) timing!!!!)

We also got to see the reaction of others too!

New egg drama, with Richas being the one who landed the killing blow. We got to see the horror and despair in Sunny and Chayanne, the only ones who knew for certain that Tubbo wasn't joking. The silent grief, that cannot leave until Tubbo's back. But will he come back the same as before? The possibilities are so scary and I can't wait to see how it'll shape the eggs in the future.

We got Philza who intially did not get it, assuming it was part of the months-long bit that Tubbo was Chayanne's egg and that they were just being dramatic for fun. This made the whole scene that much more tragic imo. And the pay off when realised later that holy shit he's actually dead? So cool. We got him and Creation's first meeting too, and after the initial confusion about whether or not he was a friend (war flashbacks to the day Luffy was kidnapped by a similar mysterious entity that showed up out of nowhere) he ended up doing everything in his power to help Creation, to bring his friend back!

And from what i've seen Fit is in full denial? Like absolutely refusing to acknowledge that Tubbo was even ABLE to die? And fans speculating that Pac might follow suite because of his past traumas? Awesome, can't wait to see how this unfolds. The possibility of a denial feedback loop is really interesting.

And finally as an Aypierre viewer, I'm excited at the possibility for him, the ONE person Tubbo actively dislikes, ending up providing the computer parts necessary to bring Tubbo back, since he's the only cc who has access to computer craft. I know it's unlikely to happen since literally no one knows he has computer craft so i don't think they'll think to ask him for the parts... but one can dream.

So yeah, overall this was a really pivotal and awesome RP moment

[butchriptide]

Falls to my knees. Qiblijou. Kinkabli. Whatever you want to call it. Does anyone understand. Does anyone understand.

Now, as a certified AroAce, I am not the type to pedal that every dynamic ever has to be romantic. But also. I think they're cute as a couple. But ALSO also, even if you do not care for them as a couple, I need more people to discuss and write about and draw their dynamic. I need more if it like, yesterday.

Having to put this under the cut because it got crazy fucking long but like trust me. Trust me okay.

The element I find so compelling about them is that they read very much as similar characters at first-boiling down largely to "silly and kind". They diverge from this shared center point largely in how they react to trauma; They both are survivors, persistently... Goofy in the face of hardship. Kinkajou's seems to act as a natural element of her personality, rising up in face of being a generally lonely and somewhat disliked child. It's interesting how her impulsive nature and cheery demeanor overlaps with the genuine emotional intelligence she seems to hold. In moments of low-tension, where her head's clear and she's not immediately tunneling down something else, she seems fully able to process the fact that her trauma DOES effect her and often at least somewhat how. She doesn't have any big feelings on it, but she can still recognize her knee-jerk reaction to a Nightwing roommate being due to her trauma. Later conclusions about Moonwatcher being an exception due to some general difference from Nightwings as a whole, while not fully "correct", does still show her own ability to recognize these knee-jerk feelings as irrational-At least when faced with significant proof of that being the case, rather than doubling down on her own internal logic that's been shaped by her traumas. Her impulsivity and general hyperactivity tends to push this understanding to the side however, leaving a lot of her trauma something she's working past but not necessarily resolved. It isn't that Kinkajou is purposefully trying to avoid her pain to an unhealthy degree, so much as I think she largely doesn't think about it until she's forced to.

Meanwhile, Qibli's goofy exterior seems to largely be a mask; Or, at the very least, somewhat purposefully curated. He lives almost entirely in his fight or flight response, and seems to interpret his own overthinking and anxiety responses as a boon rather than an effect of his trauma. He likes his scar, but can't reconcile how he got it; Can't reconcile the part of him that loves his mother and wants to believe she loves him back with the fact that she hurt him, repeatedly, through pretty much every avenue one can neglect or abuse a child. This makes his optimistic veneer a lot more purposeful, an attempt to earn people's love because there was never any guarantee of receiving it from anyone. I don't believe that being this silly, playful person is necessarily fully disingenuous of Qibli, so much as I think he forces himself to amount to ONLY this. Shoves himself into a box which is used largely to ignore his trauma, as opposed to cope with it. He can't acknowledge everything that's happened to him affecting him because its incongruous with his image-both to others and himself. Despite being perceived as traditionally intelligent, Qibli's honestly incredibly lacking in the realm of emotional intelligence.

I think that ultimately, this leads them to having a very interesting balance and chemistry that's effective in getting me invested in them even though they have very little one-on-one time during the arc. They don't have any particularly "deep" moments together, but there's this implicit understanding and trust in a lot of their interactions. They match each other on a level that the rest of the Jade Winglet doesn't quite hit due to the vastly different levels they're coming from. While Qibli's not lacking his own impulsivity issues, his tendency to scrutinize and overplan becomes much more effective when it's actively curbing Kinkajou's tendency to fling into danger head-first, while Kinkajou's high-energy and quickness to action forces Qibli out of his own head in order to keep up with her.

Beyond the way they balance each other out, there's a strongly showcased, implicit trust between the two of them. Kinkajou and Qibli are co-conspirators, and them dealing with Chameleon in Book 10 (for all the gripes I hold against this book) showcase this perfectly. Qibli keeps Kinkajou from immediately jumping to action, but he doesn't talk over her, and Kinkajou's information is both pivotal to their planning and prompts Qibli to act. An important element too is that Qibli's trust in Kinkajou doesn't result in excessive idolization, like it does with Moon-Not to say that Moonbli is bad, but rather, it's an element of the relationship that makes Kinkajou and Qibli mesh much easier while Moonbli, I wholeheartedly believe, requires a lot more work to make work than canon would suggest. I think this trust is particularly important due to Qibli's issues with control, which he still easily puts aside for Kinkajou when he lets her simply keep the scrolls from Chameleon, instead of doubling down on them destroying them. Kinkajou opts to keep the scrolls at that's the end of it; even if Qibli's worried over Chameleon coming after them, he simply trusts Kinkajou to take care of them, and that's the end of it.

The way they match each other's energy is also just incredibly sweet. The Vase SceneTM comes immediately after it, so nobody ever talks about it, but they literally greet each other like 2000s scene kids who just found out what a "glomp" is.

My ultimate point is I think Kinkajou and Qibli's personalities bounce off each other in a very compelling way already as friends, and find the idea of them as a romance interesting largely because I don't think it would change much of their chemistry. I think they already feel very natural from what we're shown of them (although a lot of the non-ship dynamics in arc 2 are vastly underutilized due to how fractured everyone in the winglet is through the series to begin with) and I think they're sweet due to how much I think they can understand each other. They're interesting parallels that doesn't really get to shine in a lot of books due to the pacing of Arc 2 nor in fan works due to how people don't really read much into Kinkajou and choose to take her as just sort of a flat comic relief.

Also Kinkajou likes tortured guys <3

[ladyluscinia]

I don't disagree that fandom ran further with the concept of fuckeries, but I would say that 1x04 is an important spiritual successor to the concept that felt like it was going to be significant. The first demonstration we got of how good Ed and Stede could be together was the lighthouse escape, which I would definitely count as a fuckery. It's a clever, creative victory that doesn't require violence, and it seemed to sate Ed's s1 stated appetite for drama/excitement/fun without triggering him.

Continuing from here... I mean I personally agree with you, but that's also mainly what I was talking about with fandom giving the idea more importance and interest than canon did.

I think a lot of people - myself included - drew that connection from 1x04's proto-fuckery to getting a name for it (and its potential role as a raid alternative) in 1x06 to Stede becoming a true student in 1x10. More detailed examples went for looping in 1x02 and/or 1x05 to show Stede leaning toward trickery over force.

The point isn't that the fandom (basically all of us, not a few outliers) was wrong to run with this - I think it was brilliant, actually, and a big part of why I even cared about writing meta about the pirate society of a romcom - but that the canon of S2 didn't pick the idea back up at all in a way that indicates it was never going anywhere. The pattern we spotted in S1 was apparently not the interesting comedic alternate to action/adventure swashbuckling, but something (significantly more boring tbh) that served to buoy our underdog Stede along without dying until he was far enough in his pirate journey to swing a sword successfully.

Is the lighthouse escape the first demonstration in a larger pattern of how Ed and Stede will work together in the future? Where their mutual tendencies toward creative solutions and dissatisfaction with abusive and violent pirate culture can find a new, more fun way of life?

Or is it a, yes, clever and creative escape they come up with together, but one that only has those specific traits because they are in an impossible situation where they can't fight their way out - narratively because the ship is stranded and crewed by useless pirates, and meta-narratively because they need Stede to contribute as an equal instead of just getting rescued (that was for last episode) and he can't do that in a fight yet?

We thought that the lighthouse plan was supposed to connect to 1x06 and 1x10, but I think it might have only been meant to serve as a fix to Ed's fog and full moon plan (i.e. making an impossible escape).

They just looked similar because all the various wins and conflicts of S1 were shaped around Stede's character journey, but the part of that journey where he can't jump into the fray and kill the mooks too as a real pirate ended with 1x10. Which is why they don't come up with a brilliant way to slip out of the Republic without a fight in 2x08. Stede doesn't need the genre crutch anymore. He is a swashbuckling hero now, and he and Ed can kill people side by side.

You know, once the trauma-based reasons they might not do so are healed by "something something... love maybe?"

[qoldenskies]

Mind Control!!!!

ok first of all caged lungs broke me. i love it but it broke me and it is the best mind-control thing i've ever read bc you rlly take the aftermath srsly and the slow, insidious, uncanny-vally way the brothers turn against donnie is!! so good!!! thats my fav type of mind control personally :)

anyway with that said i think anything else mind ocntrol related post clipped wings would be EXTRA traumatizing for the brothers. like we've seen the claustrophia and stuff for donnie but imagine that theyre on a mission and hypno does a mind control spell to make say leo attack his brothers and they all. um. they all react pretty viscerally. having your head messed with like that for so long is gonna be pretty traumatizing, so i think any situation where they feel smthing similar coming up, theyre deufaulting to panic and/or kill mode

honestly the CL mind control fascinates me because it'd still be a psychological horror from any of the OTHER'S perspectives. was just dropped in the newest chapter that leo genuinely felt horrified when he smacked donnie for the first time, which explains this line

like its horrible but i dont see it as an intentional guilt trip at all. it was like raph crying when he put his hands around his throat; it was one of the moments where they realized just how far this was gone and because of the curse thought why did you do this to me? they came so close to the realization that something was wrong and it redirected that fear and anger to pin it on donnie instead.

"i can't even look at you right now" is so loaded knowing what leo was going through.

okay i got distracted with some of the leo fighting back signs BUT YESS I WOULD LOVE TO UNPACK SOMETHING KINDA SIMILAR.... ive mentioned raph being kraangified as something that would fuck him up Bad but i think exploring something like that from leo's perspective would be really interesting especially considering how his coping mechanisms work. raph responded by shying away into himself and leo fought. he gentled around donnie but he lashed out at EVERYBODY after coming to, and it really only took kitsune kicking his teeth in to make him slow his roll.

hypno's mind control is very straightforward with how it operates though, it might be more interesting to do something that makes them more cognitively aware when they come back because i think it'd add to the trauma of the prompt. and also dear lord if it was JUST leo i could not imagine raph and mikey's reactions. because would there be a moment where they only see an enemy in the shape of their brother, spurred into attack mode BECAUSE of all the harm they watched leo inflict on donnie under the curse?? do they genuinely act aggressive towards him even after the control is broken out of suspicion, even though they logically know he didn't mean it, but they cant help it either because it was triggering too???

this especially works well knowing leo was the Worst when cursed. they witnessed leo harm donnie a lot, while in most cases with raph for example it was usually only behind closed doors.

[neuroticbookworm]

Parenting in La Pluie, Episode 11

Last week, Tai finally, finally got The Explanation from his parents, and hoo boy, did they NAIL IT. He threw a spectacular tantrum as an adult man at his mom’s wedding and his parents did not immediately disown him, which is impressive in its own right. What’s more impressive is how they talked sense into him, undoing the knots of confusion in his head about their divorce, and how it has shaped his understanding of the concept of love and relationships.

Tai arrives at the wedding, and immediately throws side eyes at his mom and her now-husband, Nu. He sits down at the table with his brothers, and when his brother Nuea asks him about his fight with Patts that led to their breakup, he deflects by saying it was nothing special, it just didn’t work out. Nuea then says “You got a soulmate as your boyfriend. That is precious” and Sangtien and Saengchan emphatically agree with him. Tai then asks Nuea “As it comes down to this, do you still want me to believe in soulmates?” implying their parents’ separation. Their dad arrives, and Tai observes his parents and Nu happily interacting with each other and then asks his brothers “As you see this, don’t you feel something? Dad is congratulating Mom on her new wedding”.

It is clear from Tai’s behavior and his words that he does not understand how a person can love someone and wish them happiness, even when they cannot be the one who gives it to them. Tai gets increasingly upset as his mom gives her wedding toast, and walks away when Yadfah says “They (Warun and her children) are still my beloved ones, I love them, forever���. He walks away because he thinks she is lying, if she still likes Warun, why would she break-up with him? And how can she fall in love with Nu and marry him? It does not make sense to Tai and it does not fit the idea of love he has in his head.

Nu sees Yadfah’s heart breaking into a million pieces, as she watches her son essentially shrug off her declaration of love for him and walk away. He then tells her “The most important thing for him right now is to understand us. If Saengtai is happy, we will be happy. Now Saengtai is my son too” (we love Uncle Nu in this house, ladies, gentlemen, and my non-binary frens).

So, Yadfah and Warun follow Tai to Saengchan’s room, and Warun asks him how he is feeling, since Tai excused himself from the table saying that he is feeling dizzy. This is a tiny but amazing detail to show us how they have been patient and understanding of Tai’s struggle with their separation. They leave the ball in Tai’s court, waiting for him to ask them, when he is ready to really listen to them. When Tai gives them that opening they have been waiting for, by saying “You know I lied. I don’t have a headache”, Warun and Yadfah look at their son, look at each other, nod, and then Warun starts talking. I’m a big fan of parents establishing and reassuring themselves as A TEAM before they try to talk sense into their fucked up child’s head.

A quick detour: this is not the first time I have talked about divorce and the effect it has on the children in the family. I have done it before when Step by Step had a similar scene where Pat’s parents talked to him about their separation, when Pat was having his quarter-life crisis breakdown on their shoulders. I concluded that piece saying that divorce must not always be demonized and blamed as the root of trauma for whatever difficulty children face in their adulthood. And I noticed a few people in the notes, rightfully pointing out that divorce can be a traumatic experience for the children even when it is amicable. I fully agree. I do and I understand. But the reason why I am so defensive about this narrative is that it can be easily reduced and twisted into “divorce is bad, it traumatizes children, so no one should get divorced”. Divorce can be a deeply traumatizing experience for the children, but their parents staying in a marriage that does not work anymore is worse. Nobody wants to break up a perfectly good marriage. Couples who contemplate divorce know that this is the option that will get them and their children out of this unhappy situation with the least amount of pain. And when children are made aware of this, they will eventually grow and heal from this pain. And they will see that their parents still did whatever was best for them, even if that meant separating from each other.

Warun echoes this exact sentiment in his explanation. He apologizes to Tai, telling him that he and Yadfah thought not bringing their problems to Tai was the right thing to do, which in retrospect, is decidedly not. He says “We thought it would be better if you know nothing” and Yadfah adds “especially you, who has hearing loss”, which, as @shortpplfedup notes here, implies that Tai might’ve gotten some special treatment from his parents, being their only kid with a hearing loss. Warun continues and clarifies that he never lied to Tai, a callback to their conversation at the restaurant after Tai’s dinner date with Patts, where he told Tai “I do still love your mom. I don’t lie to myself about it. And, I’m glad for her (relationship with Nu). And I don’t lie to myself about it, either”. He says “Marriage is not only about love” and we see the argument between him and Yadfah in the flashback scene. It shows how even though their lives are centered around their children and their shared goal and desire to provide the best life for them, their points of focus have led them to drift apart in different directions, leading to them spending less and less time together. We finally hear Yadfah say the words “Maybe we should separate”.

At this point, I was ready to be disappointed because I wanted Tai to confront his idea that his mom is the instigator of this divorce and therefore the villain in this narrative. And if Yadfah is the one who uttered the S word first, I was afraid that Tai would latch on to it and regress back into his immature stance. But no, the show surprised me yet again because the writers are so. fucking. smart. The scene shifts back to the present and Warun says “But that is not the day we separated. For a year after that we tried to talk, adjust and move forward”.  He explains that he and Yadfah realized that though they are on different paths now, they still share the same goal. And then he says it. He says “I told your mom that we should get a divorce”. And we immediately see the seismic shift in Tai’s mind, his entire understanding of his mom, his dad, their love for each other, their marriage to each other and their family, crumbles to dust. He looks completely shaken and stunned. The world does not make sense to him anymore.

Yadfah now joins the conversation and reiterates how even though they are separated, they will always care for each other and their children. She says “Our love has just shifted to a different form”. She then adds a statement that shakes the foundations of Tai’s belief system for the second time. She says “Although we are separated, we will still be soulmates forever. When it rains, we still talk to each other” and we see Tai immediately realize how monumentally he has fucked up with Patts. He broke the soulmate bond. He wanted to be free of this destiny and he screamed it out into the universe with so much hate that the universe obliged. But he forgot that destiny is not the only thing that’s tying him to Patts. Patts chose to love him, and Tai could only see that love through the veil of destiny that binds them. He did not understand that Patts loved him in spite of the soulmate bond, not because of it. To quote the ever eloquent and lovely @liyazaki, real love is freedom.

gif by @liyazaki

At this point, the other Saeng brothers and Nu enter the room, and it’s interesting that Saengtai and Saengchan (the tantrum throwers) stand on one side and Saengtien and Saengnuea stand behind their dad, on the same side as their parents. Warun then tells them that he is happy for Yadfah and Nu, and that he would still want this even if he can go back in time. “This is my love for your mom”.

Warun then addresses all his children and says “Being soulmates is not more important than what we believe in”. Oh, so he does know that all his children (but one) are knuckleheads who think soulmates are precious, huh. That’s not to say the one who does not believe in soulmates is not not a knucklehead, he is just a different type of tool than his brothers. Anyway, Warun is an excellent dad who knows exactly how his sons might think and preemptively clarifies before they can do (more) damage.

Finally, Tai unfreezes and tearfully apologizes to his parents. Warun, being the absolute best, immediately says that he and Yadfah were never angry at him, and that they should’ve spoken to all their children before and it would’ve made things better. Tai then tells his parents “No matter what happens, please don’t leave each other alone”, no doubt thinking about how he has left Patts alone. And then we see the most adorable family group hug that has ever graced my eyeballs.

gif by @liyazaki

Tien, my adorable, yet deadly sweet-and-sassy boy, invites Nu to join, but Nu stays put. I told my fellow La Pluie clowns that I would’ve LOVED to see Nu in that group hug, given he had just proclaimed an adult toddler who was ruining his wedding as his son. But @bengiyo pointed out that while Nu may be ready to embrace his new family, Tai was not. And he’s right.

This is not the end of Tai’s journey. He will still have a lot to unpack and understand about love, relationships, family, and so on. He will have thoughts that conflict with this new context and perspective he has just gained and he will have to talk them through with his loved ones. He will have to unlearn old patterns and behaviors that hurt the people in his life, the ones he loves. But it all starts with an open and honest conversation. And what a gloriously beautiful conversation it was.

Shoutout to @lurkingshan for beta-reading this post

[bklynmusicnerd]

"Yeah, but in a relationship, any relationship. It's important to let the other person know you appreciate them so that you don't create barriers that delay any hope for reciprocation" - Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls)

I originally wrote this GG quote down because I thought it'd be good for an analysis of Spencer's daddy issues but I feel like there's probably endless discussions about Spencer's trauma going on right now, so I'm repurposing it for some analysis on Trina's repressed trauma and how that coincides with her character archetype of classical heroine.

I think it's important to discuss that Trina's perspective in that argument (possible precursor breakup lol), while far more logical than Spencer, was also just as shaped by her trauma as Spencer's pov was.

I landed on classical heroine as Trina's archetype because it felt the closest to how she's perceived and treated by the characters around her. Trina is characterized as wise beyond her years, deeply empathetic, intelligent, selfless, and brave/proactive.

Whenever characters in Trina's orbit describe her as "special" or "extraordinary", they're typically referring to one of these classical heroine elements she exhibits. It keeps coming back to what Taggert said, she's the daughter of a healer and a strategist but at her core, Trina is a rescuer who leads with her heart and wants to save the world.

Trina's desire (or maybe even compulsion 👀) to save shapes every single one of her relationships. All classical heroine descriptions come down to the core elements of bravery and sacrifice. First thing about Trina that Spencer falls in love with? Her bravery when she chases him out of the gallery. What Trina was actually doing at the gallery? Prioritizing checking on Ava over her graduation party because she wanted to make sure she was okay. Sacrifice. I'm zeroing in on these two qualities for Trina's archetype because they speak to how Spencer perceives Trina (both the good and the bad of that) and they speak to what Trina convinces herself she's obligated to do for the people she cares about. Trina's idea of love is rooted in sacrifice. It's something that keeps coming up for her. She always goes back to utilitarianism, the greater good.

She puts her desires/needs last, especially if she thinks doing so will make the people she loves happy. She absolutely views that as a method of saving people. It also often becomes a method of avoiding the reality that the trauma she experiences impacts her. For Trina, her trauma is an inconvenience, a nuisance, a burden. Her default is to be the steady and stable presence for others.

The second Spencer framed this entire demon spawn situation as "protecting his baby brother" and started flipping out over his inability to do so, Trina went into sacrifice mode for him. She decided that she could endure retriggering herself with the entire Esme situation and how helpless she felt during her drugging and framing, if it meant "saving" Spencer and his demon spawn brother. She told Spencer she was "fine" and she convinced herself the hurt was "worth it" for Spencer's happiness.

This is the part of Trina's perspective that Spencer still can't see. Their relationship just devolved into the similar dynamics of their friendship, where Trina compromised herself to make Spencer happy again and again while she felt increasingly vulnerable and unprotected. The pedestal of heroine is a dangerous thing, and this is often the consequence of embracing the "rescuer" role in a relationship. One's vulnerability/fallibility over time is not considered or remembered.

Trina's slip of "finally" that set Spencer off wasn't just an insensitive mess up, it was a culmination of her biting her tongue until it bled for months about how Spencer's coparenting obsession was hurting her. Spencer is, in general, terrible at recognizing Trina's trauma because he's so myopic about his own but also because Trina has a tendency to push this narrative that it doesn't affect her. She is always "fine" because the people around her need her to be "fine."

Trina is going through her own arc of learning to come to terms with her vulnerability, her fallibility, in accordance with her strength. That it's okay to not always be the steady one, that it's okay to follow her heart, make mistakes and need people. And Spencer was supposed to help her with that.

He was supposed to be one of the few people that she could fall apart around and count on to stay by her side. So as much as Spencer feels betrayed by Trina not being the perfect support system and listening ear in that moment, Trina also felt betrayed by Spencer implying that he would discard her if he needed to.

He once again made her question her faith in him and probably regret every moment she was vulnerable around him. She grew to a point where she admitted she needed him in her life and Spencer turned around and tried to weaponize that in a moment of anger. Spencer lashing out basically sent the message to Trina that she can't count on reciprocity from him. That she can't trust him with her heart after all. She still loves him, but you could see the walls go up again by the end of that conversation.

And this is all coming at a time when Cyrus is also back and retriggering her as well. Her recurring, visceral refusal to be positioned as a "victim" again likely also applies to anything regarding the sociopathic mooch. She will never just be Spencer's ex to Trina. She will always be the girl who drugged her and tried to destroy her life. I think that, plus Trina's concerns about defending herself against Cyrus, have led to Trina reaching her emotional limits on sacrificing for her relationship.

All her triggers coming at her at once forced Trina into self-preservation mode. As much as we love that Spencer genuinely looks up to and respects Trina when she's in classical heroine mode, it's a catch-22 because that same reverence leads Spencer to not process her vulnerability and need for support seriously.

He's been sending a message to her that he's not a consistent safe space for her, he's volatile, he doesn't live up to his words to her, and Trina is reacting to that as much as Spencer is reacting to his own grievances with Nik. Yes, she has classical heroine tendencies, but she's still vulnerable and affected by her traumas. Right now, she is in a moment where she wants to feel safe, and unfortunately, Spencer is not making her feel safe in their relationship.

[takeariskao3]

Hey Hannah, could we get some headcanons of Hinny in TPFY and AG? I just want to see how they differentiate between the two stories.

it's so funny to me that this time last year i was asking myself this exact question. but i haven't done this little thought experiment for quite a while because pretty quickly the two ginnys solidified into very different versions her and they definitely take up very different headspaces throughout the stories. honestly even in my own planning and perceptions of them.. they are two very separate people. that sounds so weird because in theory they ARE the same character, but at the same time i did have to find some differences to make the fics unique, and for the prose and narration to sound fresh.

with that being said, this is going to be so disorganized and disjointed. i already know half of it isn't going to make sense to anyone but me, but life is nuts, it's where my head's at right now, and i can't change it.

here goes nothing

i guess i can start with how they are similar? in both stories, the seven books are canon. they are a great foundation and framework for me to work in, i know each book like the back of my hand and i really had no desire to try to tweak or change anything in the original text.

HOWEVER, the main difference between the two, is the path from you is not epilogue compliant. and that was born from several questions that haunted me for about a decade before i even had the idea or the inclination to write hp fanfiction. but the main two i wanted to explore and answer were 1) did ginny really know it was harry that walked past her on his way to the forest? i'm pretty sure she did. so how does she react to something like that? how does that fit into their relationship arc and how does him not stopping parallel other things in their relationship? and 2) what happened to her at hogwarts in her 6th year? how did that affect her in the weeks, months, years afterward?

so why do those questions need to be explored and answered in an canon (read: epilogue) divergent setting? mostly because i didn't really like the epilogue (🤷) but also because it seemed like a two birds one stone situation. i needed time and space between 'the end' (chap 1, which really exists as a prologue?) and 'the beginning' (chap 2, which is when we pick up after the time jump). for maximum angst, tension, and storytelling potential.

so in short, tpfy!ginny is defined by her reaction to harry's march to death/faked death, and her reaction to her own experiences (trauma) during the occupied year at hogwarts.

once i had that story/plot idea in mind. i really started to try and shape ginny into a coherent personality. i mean we have the framework, right? we know what she's like at school, we know what her family and what her classmates say about her, and we know how she acts and interacts when she is in scenes with harry. but how does that become a person. i settled on five (ish) defining character traits (which are basically just a textbook enneagram 8)

Ginny is self-reliant and self-confident. she want's to prove her strength and resist any weakness, she wants to be important in the world, she wants to be a decision maker in her own life/situation, and she wants to be in control of those situations.

the main conflict then became, the way tpfy!ginny feels about harry makes her feel out of control, or another way of putting it, is she can't control how she feels about him. it's instinctual, overwhelming, and it scares her a bit because she doesn't feel like she is in control of her decisions when it comes to him. loving him, caring about him, putting his needs before hers, are all things that she does that don't feel like conscious decisions. this is directly at war with her base personality.

which i've got to say, has been so fun to write. i just torture her, i know i do.

moving on

already gone was born from a place of curiosity and literally took on three or even four different forms before it was an amenesia fic. i had spent nearly a year working on the path from you and was trying to find ways to piece harry and ginny back together again in this altered timeline, and one night i was just like.. 'how the fuck did they do this right away??' i really honestly just wanted to figure it out, for my own peace of mind. how did they get back together within a canon (read: epilogue) compliant timeline.

so i started brainstorming, and i wrote a really angsty post-war oneshot for @hinnyfied's birthday and i thought... this might be something. i might have something here.

but then i was like HOW is she different from tpfy!ginny? because she has to be... but she also still has to be ginny!? but for all the wonderful characteristics she possesses, those same traits can be her own worst enemy (which in tpfy they are)

so in already gone, what is the catalyst that sends her down a different path? i decided it was mostly pretty simple... ag!ginny, didn't make the connection, or at least didn't know for sure that harry walked by her on his way into the forest. the rustle she heard was just that, a rustle. i also decided that the events during her 6th year maybe weren't as horrifying(?), trauma inducing (?), specific to just her(?), as they are in tpfy.

but these were all decisions i made when i was just attempting to write a summer '98 a story.

i really didn't settle on the amnesia plot until two or three months later, because as much as i wanted that summer to be an angsty will they/won't they... it just wasn't. harry and ginny took on a completely different relationship arc than what i had planned and it became, not a story of reconciliation, which i so desperately wanted, but a story of mutual dependency, and the idea that home for them isn't a place, but a person. their relationship (and i do mean both of them, this isn't exclusive to just harry) post-war wasn't born out of shared interests, and sense of humor, and similar values, but of a deep understanding that some wounds don't heal, and some grief can't be quantified. but with that understanding, they can still move forward and live with it. as long as they're together.

so then i was a real bitch and i took it away.

whoops.

BUT THEN THE REALLY FUN PART STARTED HAPPENING

because while i like to assume ginny is deeply affected by her experience with the diary, by order of the phoenix she has either buried it so deep in an effort not to process, OR processed it enough that she can hide any lingering thoughts or actions that might still plague her because of it. she is not defined by her trauma. she has outwardly overcome.

she is also in her peak "i am over harry potter" phase.

like c'mon. that's hilarious. because she wakes up married to him.. and she is also thrown back into an (outwardly) well-adjusted mindset. which could possibly (i will neither confirm or deny this at present because spoilers) throw a big wrench into her relationship that is rooted in shared trauma and the understanding of that trauma. cannot stress this enough, already gone harry and ginny were and are co-dependent. but i sort of love that for them?

ANYWAYS

i've rambled enough. i hope this makes at least some sort of sense. and thanks so much for reading both stories!

[fangirlanxiety74]

What things made you like Ted when you know him?

Random Image:

I love this random image, I think it's beautiful.

Okay ngl he did not become a f/o to me until I started obsessively reading x reader fics about him because I was just trying to consume any content he was in, and it kinda went downhill from there, so let's get out of the way.

Why I like him in general though is kinda... Sad, in a way, ig?

tldr; "I can fix him" /hj

I don't wanna go into details but I really do emphasize and like... Relate to him. I struggle with paranoia and anxiety to the degree that he has in the story. And while it's manageable now, growing up, I had a similar thought process to him. It took years of therapy to work through, and I still have to go to therapy to manage more bs that's come up thanks to recent events. And with my paranoia, it's ruined a lot of things in my life, including relationships.

I've talked about this before, I know we all jokingly hate on him. And I know people have genuine reasons to hate him. Yeah, I don't blame people for disliking him in the same vain I don't blame people for cutting me off because of my bs. (Really I could go on about how the best thing for Ted and Ellen would be to completely cut contact from one another after he gives her a genuine apology but)

But this is all to say. The paranoia and mood swings and stuff, that's like. AM's torture to him. AM is literally torturing him by making him act out like that; breaking him down that his only way of coping is through delusions and that "Everyone's out to get me" mindset. He has so much trauma that I think we need to recognize more? Not even just him being an SA victim, but like... If we go with the idea that he ran away with this woman who groomed him willingly. Then just how bad was his life before her. To make that happen. Yk? And then they also mention that woman's death, and even if he didn't love her, like... In a way, she "saved" him. That's traumatizing to just find out she suddenly died and left everything to him.

So much has gone wrong in his life, and in turn, he's acted out and hurt others. He has so many people he needs to apologize to, but he also deserves an apology, I think. He deserves to know those things weren't his fault. That he deserved safety, and love. Like we all do.

I don't think he's intentionally a bad person. I think he just, grew up in an awful environment that shaped him that way. And if someone just gave him a chance to get better. If he was given the option to become better than he is. I think he would take it. I mean, he literally allowed himself to be tortured for all eternity just so the others could be spared from AM. That's gotta count for something, right?

I am thankful, and lucky, to have been given that chance. And to become better than I used to be. So seeing someone so much like me. I really do like him. And I want to give him that chance, too.

Does any of this make sense???

I just really like him. I like the fact that I can relate to him. That I can see the small cracks that show a better person that he, and everyone else, believes himself to be. I like exploring and seeing where those cracks lead. It's fun! Yk?

[theographos]

Marinette and the original trauma

I have storytelling classes in college, and the very first thing we learned is that a character always starts by “the original trauma”. It can be the loss of a parent like Batman or Spider-Man, or something like 'that character was bitten by a dog when he was a kid, and now they are afraid of every dog that they see.' The point of this trauma is to shape the personality of a character, more importantly their fears and their inside battle. For example that character who is afraid of dogs, well he needs to have a job, and the only one he found is in a dog shelter. The point is to make the character deeper and to give them a starting point for their growth. Here is the problem : Adrien Agreste fits this condition, but Marinette Dupain-Cheng do not.

Adrien’s original trauma would be the disappearance of his mother. Yes his parents were already a bit abusive before (His only childhood dream was to be the perfect child his parent wished for. I’m not saying that wanting your parents to be proud of you is wrong, i’m saying that if it’s the only thing you ever wished to be as a kid, maybe your parents aren't the best), but everything went downhill after his mother disappearance. Gabriel became distant, he ended up even more alone, etc... And that's where we find him at the beginning of the serie, and it's a recurring theme with that character.

Marinette ? I can’t see anything to be honest. (edit : now with the recent episodes we have something that could be refered as her original trauma. But, it's something we learn way too late, and it's about something that has been used for comedy purposes since the beginning of the show. In other words, it's just a last minute change. It's something that should have been done in the beginning, and i'm not going to give them credit for doing the bare minimum so many season after the beginning of the show.) Her mistake with Felix at the end of season 4 could count as an original trauma, but it’s a bit late. A character can have an original trauma during the story, and can also have one after several seasons (it could be because the character’s growth has come to an end, but not the story. So something happens, and boum another trauma that the character will have to work with. It’s similar to the original trauma without really being one though), but here the mistake with Felix would be more of a trauma that starts off a new kind of character growth for Marinette. It doesn’t define her fears and her character in general since the beginning of the show, unlike Adrien.

But what is her original trauma ? Because without it, it becomes harder to care about her. Sure she is a nice girl (except with that poor Chat Noir), she is smart and makes us laugh. But to be honest, I never really liked Marinette, that is until season 4.

This season has so many bad sides, but also so many good ideas. And making Marinette’s mental health a subject that is often talked about is something that I like very much. We saw her having panic attacks, isolate herself and the first thought we had was “omg we should protect this girl”. BOOM we care about that character.

What kind of original trauma could she have then ?

Well if we want to go in Thomas Astruc’s view of how the show should be, we could say that she has been bullied by Chloe a long time. Because of that, she never has been able to fight for herself, raise her voice at someone, Chloe made her insecure and she began to doubt herself for everything. She even started to be clumsy, because she’d doubt her ability to do things, so she would stress about everything and the terrible thing she didn’t wanted to happen, well happened. She was isolated, and only the new girl, Alya, started talking to her. No one really paid attention to her, which would explain how she started to like Adrien that quickly. He was the first boy with who she shared a more or less romantic situation. 

Here we have the reason why Marinette started the new year of school without any close friends in her class, why the lesson of not letting someone walk all over you in the Origin episode is so important, why Marinette's over controling personality became worse with time (she is finally in a position of power where she more or less controls what happens to her, and it goes to her head and forgets that there is people that cares about her), it gives her a way to bound with Adrien (the feeling of being lonely for so many years and the difficulty of making friends) and an explanation to why her first reflex is to isolate herself when she is not feeling well.

But, if we want to give to Chloe a redemption arc easier to understand for a younger audience and and easier to make (it would be kinda hard to forgive a character when the main character still suffers because of that character don’t you think ?), there is other options. Maybe Marinette was admiring Chloe, and started lying in order to gain her attention, but it never worked. So she started to hate her, and Chloe hated her too for trying to be the center of attention.

That way, it’s a nice parallel between Marinette and Lila and a way to show how Marinette is different from Lila. It could explain why she hates liar and liying to her parents, but also why sometimes she does it without thinking. She is so used to lying that it’s hard for her to get rid of this habit, but she is trying, while Lila isn’t.

And if we want to give her a parallel with Papillon (because Adrien already has one, he lost Emily too and yet he didn’t go crazy) we could give Marinette something to obsess about. For example, when she was younger, her parents told her that being a fashion designer wasn’t a real job, or some kids mocked her designs or something dear to her. Her only place of comfort was with a person, like a member of her family, a pet or a neighbor. Either that pet/person ended sick and died or they disappeared. If they were sick and died, well it’s been a long time, but it still hurts. Her clumsiness is maybe a way to show that : She wasn’t clumsy before that person/pet’s death, but it had consequences on herself and now she doubts herself constantly and falls (for example). She maybe hates liar because of that, because she wasn’t aware of the sickness until it was too late (for example, her parents hid it from her to protect her, or that very same person hid it), and now she hates liars in general.

With that, we could show that it’s harder for her to lie about her secret identity. And maybe when she learns about the wish, she still think it’s bad but she kinda wants to use it. And as time flies she becomes more and more desperate to use it, until season 5. She sees how Monarch is because of his obsession with the wish, and does not want to become like him. 

If that person disappeard, maybe it could be because of Hawkmoth. Either they were close to Emily, went away to find a cure and never came back, either they are now Gabriel’s secret henchman, and kinda like in Spider-man : Into the spiderverse that person and Ladybug fight each other, until they learn the other’s secret identity. Or if we want to be really dark, that person died because of Gabriel. Either they tried to stop him a long time ago and he got rid of them, worked for him and saw something that they shouldn’t so he had to kill them to make sure his secret was safe, or they worked for him but kinda like Nathalie, they were so devoted to him that they gave their life for him. (then Nathalie discovers it and understands that he does not really care about the people who are devoted to him in the end.)

The main hero having lost someone because of the bad guy/being bullied/discovering that a close one works with the bad guy are tropes that are often used in the superhero genre. They were obvious choices. I also gave one less common : the “Marinette used to lie, but she tries to get rid of this habit”.

To be honest, adding this important step of Marinette’s character would have not changed a lot of things in the show. What I mean is, doing this important step of her character would not stop her from falling for Adrien, from being insecure about being a good Ladybug. It would've actually helped to picture her as a strong heroine. It could’ve even help when the writers lacked of inspiration sometimes. You don’t know how to relate this episode’s bad guy with a main character ? Well maybe if Marinette had an original trauma you would...

Anyways, as I said in another post, the writers, animators and concept designers did the best they could with what they had and what the producers wanted the show to be. I can’t be mad at them so I just give all of my hopes to the fanfiction writers

[beetleviolet]

How did you come up with there designs??

- previous anon

HELLOOOO ANON! :D

THANKS SM FOR THE ASK HHEHEHE I LOVE TO RAMBLE!

WOW this is a loaded question. Idk if you know what you just signed up for loll.

Short answer: Vibes

Long answer:

First I just chose 4 species of turtles i thought were cool. I did a project Alabama Red Bellied Cooters (Leo) so it was already in my brain, after some research I found the yellow bellied slider (donnie) which is just SO PRETTY, Mikey is a mud turtle, which is a super small turtle and has these gorgeous orange spots, and Raph is a northern diamondback terrapin, because ahhh they have polka dots!

The turtle types i chose were purely aesthetic, and then i just assigned one for each turtle in a way I thought looked nice. The clothes and how the characters present themselves is really what I worked the most on.

I wanted to focus a lot on the characters differences and similarities. People dress differently depending on what they do, where they go, climate, sensory needs, personal style, etc. Its important to kinda balance practicality and something that makes sense for the character vs something that just looks cool. I talk about designs under the one for each character, but here I'll hit the highlights from a purely design standpoint.

Leo: The tallest of the brothers as he accepts his role of the oldest and carries it with him wherever he goes. I thought his stripes being over his eyes would be a nice nod to rottmnt leo. For his outfit, he wears his mission outfit (ninja pants and straps), just most of the time just the pants with no straps. Leo experienced some pretty intense trauma at a young age (i will get more into this in the comic) resulting in him never really feeling safe. This is why he is constantly in his battle outfit, ready in case something goes wrong. His straps for his mission outfit are the base for the rest of the group.

Donnie: Donnie really looks up to Leo, and wants to make it up to him for stuff that happened in the same traumatic event. He wants to be someone his brother can be proud of, and from his perspective, this means being like Leo. This is why things like their face shape, stripe pattern, and height mirror eachother. Donnie wears overalls because he needs lots of pockets, plus they are cute, but what says the most about him is his mask. Leo wears a more classic tmnt mask, and in an attempt to be like him, Donnie does the same, except it gets really annoying on his face, so he pushes it up on his head like a headband. This is my favorite detail! He wears his mask when trying to be impressive or serious, but you can see the real Donnie peaking through when he pushes it back. This happens already in one of the early updates of the first part of the comic.

Donnie's strap for his mission outfit is very similar to Leo, except his Hamato crest is put on his chest, and it attaches to a tool belt instead of his pants.

Raph: so admittedly I didn't put as much time and thought into raph and mike as I did Leo or Donnie, but whatever. Raph typically wears dark colors, sweatpants, t-shirts, tank tops, and hoodies. Clothes aren't super important to him, and he just wants something he can move and be comfortable in. Like all Raphs, he is a bit of a rebel, and is angsty, so this kinda translates into his clothes. Since Raph doesn't put much thought into what he wears, neither do I. Oh, and he wears his bandana like a kerchief on his head, so it's out of his face like Donnies.

His straps go in a V because I ran out of shapes.

He is shorter then Donnie even though he's older, because I'm short and projecting.

Mikey: Mikey is the smallest of the group, since a lot of his arc is trying to stand out and be treated more like his age. Fun fact: he and Donnie are twins, but people, especially those outside of his fam, treat Donnie with more respect because he appears and presents older.

Mikey loves to wear bright colors. Like, so much that you can barely see him under them. He wears big t-shirts that he tie dyed himself and mismatched leg warmers. I can't wait to show his "going to the surface outfit" because it is just so much fun. His mask is around his neck like a cowboy because 1. He's more childish 2. Leo and him are obsessed with a comic about Space Cowboys.

Mikey's mission outfit straps are an x over his chest like a safety harness. (I also just got this idea, but an X over someone's chest in ballet means death. This might come into play later)

Side note: the characters bandanas will help symbolize their arcs. When a character goes through development, their bandana will change, for better or for worse.

April O'Neil: Actually the first design concept i came up with. Thinking of the original April O'Neil yellow jacket, I wanted to give her a battle jacket. Because it's a comic I couldn't get in too much detail, but I'll probably do a full design at some point. Probably.

April wears combat boots, pants with patches, and she dyed her hair since April O'Neil was originally a red head, except in mine April's hair is the color of a fire truck. Her outfit is good for school and tramping through the sewers, and the smiley faced knee patch is a nodd to Mikey from rottmnt.

Splinter: I've only seen brown or gray Splinters, but a lot of the pet rays I've seen are white or spotted, so I decided to give him spots. I wanted the characters to have a stable parental figure, and most of their unresolved trauma resulted from that event I keep talking about (aka "the incident") and a lack of proper acknowledgment afterward.

Splinter has his fancy robes, but he also has his Dad Outfit, which is Khakis and a polo. It was very important to me that he was rocking a Dad bod, because every good Dad need a dad bod. He has 4 ninja children to rangle, after all!

LONG LONG STORY SHORT SHORT:

Never design a character before you get to know them. Learn stuff about them before determining what they might like. Draw a bunch of little thumbnails, experiment, have fun! Draw or doodle all your characters next to eachother to see if their vibes make sense, even if they contrast. Draw your characters doing things. Focus on their verb. What does your character do? What do they need to wear to make that work? And how can you make that cute? And don't be afraid to have them change over time!

Well, that's all I got. Thanks for the ask!

[katherineholmes]

For the ask game 😍

The Vampire Diaries, 11

Klaulena, 20

The famous Klaus Mikaelson, 2

11. what I think of the central character(s)

The central characters of TVD are Elena, Stefan and Damon. I'll start with Stefan and Damon I think. When we are first introduced to them, they are juxtaposed against against each other, they both have led pretty similar lives, on the surface, yet, both are vastly different. As we go about the series, we see the layers come off and get to know them more.

Stefan grew up with an abusive father, a protective brother, and no mother. From a young age, he was stuck in a conundrum, having to conform his behaviour to not be abused, and yet, watch Damon get abused. His father favouring him inculcated a deep guilt in him, and it carries on throughout. Katherine, I think, shaped a lot of who he is. She raped him, and then gaslighted him in the present.

There's a strange phenomenon in the way he reacts to Caroline's abuse at Damon's hands, I think Stefan has convinced himself that sex through compulsion isn't rape, because if he acknowledges it, he has to reconcile with the fact that he was raped by someone he loved. The one time he tries to speak to Damon about it, to connect, he's brushed off, his trauma isn't acknowledged and he never speaks about it.

In a very interesting sort of contradiction however, Stefan is a sadist. Some of his acts are so cruel that even Klaus is a bit taken aback, fascinated sure, but also in wonder at the capacity Stefan has to torture in ways that truly hurt. And this is exactly the reason Stefan tries not to go off the rails ever. He doesn't just tear people apart limb from limb, he compels them to drink their spouse's blood, etc just for his own amusement. It’s what sets him apart, I think, he can be so depraved that it makes sense to him to not be that person. I do think that Stefan has a strong internal character though, for trying to resist giving into his worst urges. But, he also hides from himself, doesn't always acknowledge how cruel and emotionally manipulative he can be.

Damon, oh Damon. Such wasted potential. Damon is a great antagonist, I love s1 Damon. As the villain. He's the bad guy who's horrid to Vicky and Caroline, hurts Stefan and Elena, has a mission. I don't mind him as a love interest in s1 but then a strange thing starts happening, all of his evil deeds are swept under the rug, never addressed, and this narrative starts where it's said he's doing the bad things just to protect Elena. It is such a disservice to him. He could've had a real redemption arc, could've actually helped Stefan through his ripper phase, acknowledged that what he did to Caroline was horrible and feel the guilt and pain, get tortured a little, been better to Jeremy and Bonnie. Or he could've stayed a villain. Instead we get this confused character arc that has one foot in antagonist, one foot in redemption and does neither well.

And Elena. I saved her for the last because I think I say how I feel about her all the time. I think she’s strong, incredibly intelligent, quite manipulative, and deeply depressed. I think I’ve read a fic that described her as a bit trigger happy. In that she always jumps to the most extreme solution to a problem and it ends up making thinks bad for her, but sometimes, it works very well. Honestly, I’ll need to make a new post if I am to do her justice.

20. how and when they should get/should have gotten together

For Klaulena. I think s4 could’ve been a fun time! Like, Elena is a newly turned vampire, who just a few days ago, held a knife to her throat to save Klaus’ life. That scene where Klaus has her tied up and is draining her blood has so much potential! Maybe she could’ve said something about how her destiny was being fulfilled, about dying, and Klaus would’ve been undoubtedly fascinated by that.

So when she turns, and Klaus has to save her by giving her his blood, it could’ve established a connection between them. Then afterwards, Elena, in a bid to protect Jeremy, could’ve agreed to let Klaus compel vampires for Jeremy to kill. Maybe they could’ve gone outside of Mystic Falls, and then it would’ve happened. It could’ve been great, we could’ve had it all 🥹

2. how I would have chosen to change their story from canon.

For the famous Klaus Mikaelson, hmm🤔 what would I change from canon, this is an interesting one, actually. Probably that he wouldn’t have been straight. Tbf, I refuse to believe that Klaus is straight. I mean, his whole thing with Lucien and Stefan, like, no way, he enjoyed spending his time with those two. And he was way too possessive over Stefan for it to be….platonic. I mean, Stefan survived s3 of TVD somehow, even after stealing the coffins, I mean there’s no one else who could’ve survived that. And the Klaus/Lucien dynamic is not platonic either, like those two def hooked up at some point or the other. I don’t think I’d change anything else about Klaus 😍😼

Thank you so, so much for the questions, I enjoyed answering them, even though I rambled more about Stefan than I expected to 😅

[navree]

Hi Amelia,sorry for rushing to you and yelling suddenly and for my poor English.I’ve met you on AO3 at the work about Augustus and Agrippa years ago,I loved it so much ,read for many times.Look，I‘m a history nerd,emporer yingzheng(or called qin shi huang) was one of my favorite,and Caesar Augustus is another. I’ve never thought anyone except myself related this two before.In fact there’s something very close between the two man,just like their work their character and their headaching family members,you know,sometimes very comedy,like yingzheng’s mother,the empress zhao ji（帝太后,whatever）&Augustus‘ daughter Julia Augusti，Hu hai with Caligula or Nero, but there’s no Agrippa for qin shi huang,maybe gengral meng tian was similar thing,but no ,not enough ,Agrippa was still unique in history all over the world,and his love affairs,I mean friendship ,with Augustus.For this meaning our young Octavian was such a felix right?

(my name is amelie with an e but it's okay no one ever gets it right on the first try unless they're already french)

Never apologize for coming to me with stuff, or even for poor English, my mom has lived in the US for over thirty years and spoken English for longer and she still mispronounces a bunch of shit, plus I always like nerding out. Qin Shi Huang and Augustus do actually have a lot of similarities, I'd probably do a gifset about it if finding footage wasn't such a goddamn nightmare for history stuff. But there's a lot there in how they responded to family dynamics, their acceptance to exceeding brutality to get done what needed to get done, their thirst for power, and even how traumas early in their lives likely shaped the remainder of their reigns (Yingzhen's upbringing as a hostage and the effect of Caesar's assassination on Octavian on a personal level, most glaringly). Again, if they'd lived at the same time, their joint slay would have been unstoppable.

But Augustus is the only one who has a homoerotic friendship with his longtime bestie, which I think comes from a few factors. Octavian grew up with health issues and personal tragedies like the loss of his dad and grandmother, yes, and he started his career with far more personal turmoil than when Yingzhen inherited his crown, but he grew up decently safe and contented in his early life. Yingzhen didn't have that, and to the best of my knowledge the stuff he had to live through as a child, where he was not safe, effected him for the remainder of his life. He never had the emotional space to let someone in that closely, which is why he was so publicly closed off. Augustus, by contrast, though he was also distant and seemingly cold to a lot of people, was known to be a loving father, a doting grandfather, a presence in the lives of his family, and deeply attached to his friends, even if he really only had two (three if you add in Rufus before the betrayal). Because he had the space to develop those relationships, especially where Agrippa was concerned when they knew each other since boyhood. And it really does track that all of Augustus's close relationships are ones that developed prior to Caesar's assassination, save for Julia, Livia, his stepsons, and the rest of the kids in the family, because that was likely the thing that made him closed off, which occurred when he was eighteen, not like Yingzhen being raised in trauma early on and then removed from it once he was a teenager.

And also Augustus and Agrippa are utterly unique in the way they were nuts about each other, they defy logic in a way no one else ever can.

[loopingpyre]

Yayy! It's cute for both sides! Yep, yep I hear in the track and yeah the diving is usually before the character drops their big emotional hangup.

Let's see. I think Shogo, Kotono, Ayana, Eiji are the adults (21+). Kensuke I think is in between (18-21) because university feels more fitting for his personal issues. I'd say the rest (Kotaro, Naruko, Mifue, Suzuna) are high schoolers. MC could go anywhere from 17-??? but I imagine the intent is around 17-18. Ayana age gap yuri…

I forgot to mention but the Nameless Girl sublot was fun to follow. Interesting way of wrapping it up. I think the game nudges you towards the unborn child option with all the enigmas and her being nameless but I could maybe see the case for the other two options. It was cool though. Can someone who isn't born have a trauma that pulls them into mobius? Is it something to do with the mother projecting it? Is Mu just grabbing anyone who likes her music? It's open and vague but there's a lot to think about.

On the musicians side. Not too many new eps. One for Thorn and a few for Kuchinashi. Thorn bullying Mu on these dates makes me sad. That said I've now seen Thorn lose it twice. Once when she brought up someone else (Thorn implied she's using their appearance in Mobius) and now when I accidentally quoted Shogo to her. Funny, but also interesting to see she isn't as emotionless as she presents. Kuchinashi's eps were a lot of feels bad. I like how most of the gang at least tries to be nice and accommodating. The musicians definitely feel more independent than the Go-home club but its cool to see them get together. I imagine the Eiji tie in is coming. Speaking of, it looks like the game assumed I'd do the musician library segment before Eiji's eps. Oops.

I kinda expected a heavier plot but Ike-P's arc was very straightforward. Curious where the character eps will go with him. Izuru's part was something I thought would come later, but I liked the moment at the end with his face. I like that the player doesn't get to see it. Makes it hit harder to leave it up to your imaginations.

Now the character eps! Lots of bombshells. Firstly, we wrapped up Ayana. Her gift was very her and also a nice soft confession. Shame on Aria for not being supportive of Ayana being a lesbian though! Still, I like how Ayana is taking steps but isn't just hanging out with the guys like she isn't working through a massive personal issue. Kotono has a Kotokid! Wasn't expecting that mostly because I find that similar settings/stories shy away from the implication that a party member has had sex. Her being a mom makes her pettiness with Mirei funnier. I like how Mu kind of grabs her in a moment of weakness which is totally understandable for a single mom and also another example of how Mu fails to understand people. I wonder what the stalker bit is about though. Hmm. Kensuke's concern about growing up and living a boring life are something I totally get. It's why I think he fits more as a university student. The aimlessness and dread of getting a regular job. It sucks! And as someone who works a job most people find very boring I totally get it. And I like how he's the most torn between leaving and running away from his problems. Aria is actually decent in a lot of these scenes where she tries to be supportive in the ways Mu fails to be. Some of those comments on Naruko's story felt 1-1 to comments I've seen on fics and reviews. Miserable feeling. The troll reveal makes sense with how her behavior was for a lot of the early portion of the game. Kotaro being quiet and defeated in these two eps was rough. It was cute how Aria wanted to beat the crap out of his cousin but I also liked how Kotaro felt a more mature here. It was refreshing with how much of a punching bag he is in the story scenes. Called the Mifue stuff. Mostly. Didn't expect her to be in such bad shape she was in the hospital though. Makes her comment about having those volleyball rewards more depressing. As supportive as Aria was for a lot of these, her randomly dropping the ball with Suzuna sure was something. Suzuna being bullied feels like it was so obvious that I'm surprised it didn't click earlier. Finally made some headway into Izuru's story. So he's clearly got a scar or some sort on his face. Based on Ike-P's comments it wasn't something that was always there. So the real question is if its self inflicted or it was due to an accident. There's definitely some self harm angle considering Izuru tries to cut his own face and implies he's done it before. Him "needing" it as well. Is it just an image thing or is it rebelling against his controlling mom or something else? Invested into everyone's story now! I like how the moments you dive deeper or just see more of the raw moments with the characters its always awkward and hurtful. The game even gives you the options to just be done with them/judge them if you so choose. Harsh and cruel but it fits. Looking forward to the Shogo stuff. I imagine the Eiji conclusion is on the horizon. I should look into the flowers and the imagery on the character art! Hope your week is going well!

Yay yay yay yay! Nanami is such a strange sidequest and a real enigma in Mobius' consistency. Maybe that was the point, I'm still not sure. It's very interesting to think about. Kuchinashi's rank is so much just, 'you live like this' style unhealthy coping to a crazy degree. It's so funny Kotono has a kid, like they sure went and gave her the close-to-gravure promo shots and paired her up with the MC for art and then it hits you with this link. Keeping this very light, because most of my comments on characters are all with future info and you aren't quite there yet but im super glad you're enjoying the chaos club. It's fun to call the stuff because like, even if you do, it's not like it would be polite for the MC to raise it? (mostly) They really like the flower motifs. Hopefully I can finish this article ive been working on between work in order to write about cool fun things. Like Caligula.

[clementine-lominsan]

Reflections on gender and sexuality

2024/07/06

The problem of modernist transgenderism is that it asks us to follow the archetypes of maid and prostitutes, instead of mother and empress. I think the stress of obedience and lust is counterproductive, while to ask every man and woman to be as brave and intelligent as Joan d'Arc is valid as always. In Chinese history, there were many female warriors, which was not mentioned much in official history unfortunately.

The exaggerated criteria for "normal" male and female bodies in capitalism also has a big role in instilling dysphoria in not only us, but also cisgender people. For example, both transgender and cisgender girls are tricked by ads to think women must have big boobs and big hips, and the same thing for men.

But in reality, women come in all sizes and shapes; so are men. When one does not have the indoctrination, i.e. brainwashing, from capitalists eager to sell pills and surgeries, the dysphoria does not exist any more. In fact, dressing code so gender-separated only appeared in industrial capitalism. I once watched a TV program, where an old female surgeon told an astoundingly beautiful girl to have like 4-5 surgeries. That was a typical example of instilling dysphoria via brainwashing.

What is brainwashing? Repetition of emotion-loaded and simple words. We do not need to change our bodies; we need to change our minds. To follow the paths of Jesus Christ, Buddha, Laozi, Confucius, Muhammad, Ali, St. Thomas Aquinas, Albertus Magnus etc., and to learn the virtues. I can define myself as a girl, but I will only dress myself up when it does not bother other people. This is what I think the best way for me.

Why is everything so messed up? In a way, Baby Boomers. They do not know True Traditional Christianity and True Freedom. Both liberals and conservatives were one, before Boomers were born, in the East and West. The Booming capitalist economies made them libertine philistines. They have no sense of personal boundaries and thus they made us suffer. It is not their fault, but modernity - however, they are responsible for their actions.

Thus, I need to condemn my dad's repeated sexual abuses when I was 2 or 3, and my aunt's husband's at 12 or so to me. But I forgive them, and I understand that it might have been caused by similar traumas, as both are constantly scorned by other people of their generation as "sissies".

I think what I experience might be true for LGBTQ people. From my experience, most LGBTQ people were abused sexually at a young age, when the brain is developing fast, especially the part responsible for gender identity and sexual orientation. In a way, mutual respect and understanding are key. Of course, it is a different story if they decide to join a certain religion.

In Manchuria, often, elderly men would touch the scrotch of a young boy, saying "it is a blessing for fertility". But in fact, it is a sexual abuse, often altering our sexuality; additionally, if a boy is born, especially if the boy is pretty like a girl - like me - they would dress the little baby up as a girl, up until teenage. Why? The older generations believe that girls' lives are less worthy and so by dressing up the weak boys as girls, they hope to deceive Him so that the boys can live to adulthood. But such practices often alter the boys' sexuality, too.

I guess this is why after all the attempts, my own gender identity is still female, or rather like a tomboy. It has pros and cons. I suppose this is something different from Western countries.

The soul has no gender, but the mind does; the body has a sex.