#i slept on it and this is where i landed
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bklynmusicnerd · 1 year ago
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"Yeah, but in a relationship, any relationship. It's important to let the other person know you appreciate them so that you don't create barriers that delay any hope for reciprocation" - Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls)
I originally wrote this GG quote down because I thought it'd be good for an analysis of Spencer's daddy issues but I feel like there's probably endless discussions about Spencer's trauma going on right now, so I'm repurposing it for some analysis on Trina's repressed trauma and how that coincides with her character archetype of classical heroine.
I think it's important to discuss that Trina's perspective in that argument (possible precursor breakup lol), while far more logical than Spencer, was also just as shaped by her trauma as Spencer's pov was.
I landed on classical heroine as Trina's archetype because it felt the closest to how she's perceived and treated by the characters around her. Trina is characterized as wise beyond her years, deeply empathetic, intelligent, selfless, and brave/proactive.
Whenever characters in Trina's orbit describe her as "special" or "extraordinary", they're typically referring to one of these classical heroine elements she exhibits. It keeps coming back to what Taggert said, she's the daughter of a healer and a strategist but at her core, Trina is a rescuer who leads with her heart and wants to save the world.
Trina's desire (or maybe even compulsion 👀) to save shapes every single one of her relationships. All classical heroine descriptions come down to the core elements of bravery and sacrifice. First thing about Trina that Spencer falls in love with? Her bravery when she chases him out of the gallery. What Trina was actually doing at the gallery? Prioritizing checking on Ava over her graduation party because she wanted to make sure she was okay. Sacrifice. I'm zeroing in on these two qualities for Trina's archetype because they speak to how Spencer perceives Trina (both the good and the bad of that) and they speak to what Trina convinces herself she's obligated to do for the people she cares about. Trina's idea of love is rooted in sacrifice. It's something that keeps coming up for her. She always goes back to utilitarianism, the greater good.
She puts her desires/needs last, especially if she thinks doing so will make the people she loves happy. She absolutely views that as a method of saving people. It also often becomes a method of avoiding the reality that the trauma she experiences impacts her. For Trina, her trauma is an inconvenience, a nuisance, a burden. Her default is to be the steady and stable presence for others.
The second Spencer framed this entire demon spawn situation as "protecting his baby brother" and started flipping out over his inability to do so, Trina went into sacrifice mode for him. She decided that she could endure retriggering herself with the entire Esme situation and how helpless she felt during her drugging and framing, if it meant "saving" Spencer and his demon spawn brother. She told Spencer she was "fine" and she convinced herself the hurt was "worth it" for Spencer's happiness.
This is the part of Trina's perspective that Spencer still can't see. Their relationship just devolved into the similar dynamics of their friendship, where Trina compromised herself to make Spencer happy again and again while she felt increasingly vulnerable and unprotected. The pedestal of heroine is a dangerous thing, and this is often the consequence of embracing the "rescuer" role in a relationship. One's vulnerability/fallibility over time is not considered or remembered.
Trina's slip of "finally" that set Spencer off wasn't just an insensitive mess up, it was a culmination of her biting her tongue until it bled for months about how Spencer's coparenting obsession was hurting her. Spencer is, in general, terrible at recognizing Trina's trauma because he's so myopic about his own but also because Trina has a tendency to push this narrative that it doesn't affect her. She is always "fine" because the people around her need her to be "fine."
Trina is going through her own arc of learning to come to terms with her vulnerability, her fallibility, in accordance with her strength. That it's okay to not always be the steady one, that it's okay to follow her heart, make mistakes and need people. And Spencer was supposed to help her with that.
He was supposed to be one of the few people that she could fall apart around and count on to stay by her side. So as much as Spencer feels betrayed by Trina not being the perfect support system and listening ear in that moment, Trina also felt betrayed by Spencer implying that he would discard her if he needed to.
He once again made her question her faith in him and probably regret every moment she was vulnerable around him. She grew to a point where she admitted she needed him in her life and Spencer turned around and tried to weaponize that in a moment of anger. Spencer lashing out basically sent the message to Trina that she can't count on reciprocity from him. That she can't trust him with her heart after all. She still loves him, but you could see the walls go up again by the end of that conversation.
And this is all coming at a time when Cyrus is also back and retriggering her as well. Her recurring, visceral refusal to be positioned as a "victim" again likely also applies to anything regarding the sociopathic mooch. She will never just be Spencer's ex to Trina. She will always be the girl who drugged her and tried to destroy her life. I think that, plus Trina's concerns about defending herself against Cyrus, have led to Trina reaching her emotional limits on sacrificing for her relationship.
All her triggers coming at her at once forced Trina into self-preservation mode. As much as we love that Spencer genuinely looks up to and respects Trina when she's in classical heroine mode, it's a catch-22 because that same reverence leads Spencer to not process her vulnerability and need for support seriously.
He's been sending a message to her that he's not a consistent safe space for her, he's volatile, he doesn't live up to his words to her, and Trina is reacting to that as much as Spencer is reacting to his own grievances with Nik. Yes, she has classical heroine tendencies, but she's still vulnerable and affected by her traumas. Right now, she is in a moment where she wants to feel safe, and unfortunately, Spencer is not making her feel safe in their relationship.
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camels-pen · 1 year ago
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consider sanuso bodyswap where Sanji is of course "admiring" Usopp's body and Usopp is trying desperately to keep himself from getting worked up so that he doesn't light himself on fire.
Luffy and Chopper are not helping. They are in fact doing the opposite of helping. They've ramped up their pranks and are doing anything possible to get Usopp angry so that he combusts, freaks out, and then dives into the ocean to put himself out. They think it's hilarious.
Nami and Brook are Also not helping, since they're conspiring with Sanji to put on a fashion show with Usopp's body. Sanji called it "not wasting a precious opportunity to get him in something other than overalls". Usopp called it mutiny and he was gonna- dive into the ocean, holy fuck Sanji why is it so easy to catch fire?!
Best part about this is that Sanji assured him, several times, that his body doesn't get hurt by catching fire. Usopp still jumps into the ocean every time.
Robin pipes up at one point, asking if Sanji was immune to just his own flames or all flames. Sanji just kind of shrugs and said it depends. Franky, having just been leisurely watching all of this gets an idea. Would his Franky Fireball hurt Sanji's body or just give him more fire to work with?
He tries to coax Usopp into agreeing to test it out and, somehow, he manages it. Albeit, Usopp is all knocking knees and chattering teeth, a very odd sight from 'Sanji'. As part of the deal though, he can only shoot a fireball the size of his hand.
Usopp meant his small hand. The one Franky used for tinkering and fine detail work. He did not, however, clarify this.
So, when a fireball the size of Franky's big hand comes out, well. Usopp runs for his goddamn life.
It takes him a few moments- and the voices of his friends sounding distant and below him- to realize he hadn't, in fact, run to the men's quarters, but rather into the fucking sky.
And oooooh, boy he is gonna kill Sanji one of these days. Why was his body's first fucking instinct when running to go up, what the actual HELL-
Usopp lit himself on fire again.
He curses out Sanji as his Sky Walk fails in the same moment and he plummets towards the deck.
#one piece#sanuso#nemotime#usopp the first time he lights himself on fire: WHAT THE FUCK WHAY THE FUCK WHAT THE HELL OH GOD OH F-#oh ndvdggdvdv okay listen. listen. omagine Zoro's been asleep this whole time. and he misses the memo that there was a bodyswap.#and he wakes up to 'Sanji' kicking him abd immediately goes into fight mode... and then is really fucking spooked#bc 'Sanji' is blubbering about Zoro going to kill him and that he couldnt die this young and Zoro's just. Still as a statue.#Literally cannot compute.#and then 'Usopp' comes up to him. threatening him and calling him names the way he was expecting from 'Sanji'#Brook: oh dear he mustve slept through all the commotion. Zoro-san! Usopp and-!#Nami covering Brook's mouth: No wait i smell a money making opportunity#shes gonna con him. idk how or with what yet but shes definitely gonna con him#hes gonna be sooo pissed when he finds out she conned him but his usual outlet for physical violence is currently indisposed so. lol. lmao.#i like making zoro suffer idk why its just funny#wait wai what if Usopp didnt trip on him what if when he plummets to the deck he lands on Zoro lmfao#also Franky's standing there like 'Why did you dodge it?!' and Usopp is right back to trying not to light himself on fire again lol#oh n Jinbei gets roped into the fashion show stuff#where he incurs 'newbie's first debt to Nami'#damn now im thinking about him slightly concerned about all this spontaneous combustion and then Robin saying something to make it worse lol#ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANTLY the real tragedy of this post is that because Usopp's constantly worried about Combusting#it never really sinks in how blatantly Sanji is checking out his body + enjoying doing that fashion show#and because of Sanji 'enjoying the view' he never notices the brief moments where Usopp quietly does the same#before being interrupted by Luffy and Chopper coming out of nowhere wanting to roast marshmallows on Usopp's leg#okay im done were done im good its bed time gnight gmorning gday to all
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fisheito · 7 months ago
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how would you eat/cook each nukani character
oh noooooooooo (holds my face in great contemplative agony) u can't do this to me
Eiden: oh mein gotTtTtt getting my hands on eiden would be like receiving an entire cart of summer fresh-from-farm produce. or an entire cow carcass . i would have SO MANY PARTS and SO MANY WAYS to prepare him and every part of him would taste delicious in its own way. there's no way i can ONLY cook eiden one way. i'd have to put him thru every process possible (true to his versatility). i thought about spitroasting him (for the joke) but that's too much eiden for one method. i need to covet him like the king tuna at the fish market as i take him apart piece by piece look. i am frying him like egg for a fast breakfast. i am meticulously grinding him to a paste in a traditional mortar and pestle. i am using him as pesto AND as dipping sauce. i will dehydrate him and drink him as tea. he will be roasted . braised. devoured raw in ceviche. i'll infuse him with vinegars! syrups! oils!! is there a way to make a sourdough starter but it's eidough starter so i can just keep him on my shelf and feed him every day and pass him down for generations? i want eiden for every meal of the day prepared 1000 ways
Aster: would aster taste like blood or the absence of it? hmmmm..... i guess it depends on when he feeds! maybe if i bite into him after a feeding session, he'll burst like a cherry tomato. but otherwise i feel like giving aster the sashimi treatment. put him all fancy on the plate with some garnishes after i treat him with a light citrus wash or smth. a fresh cool flavour!! i'm tempted to make some sort of beverage out of him. dilute him into a fancy mocktail of strange spirits and woody spices. aster juice?!?! looks like pink wine???! i have to treat this one like i'm spoiling him with gifts. he'll probably end up on the artisanal charcuterie board with the fusion jams and marmalades...
Morvay: i feel like he would have a very...particular aroma. he eats a very specialised diet so of everyone in the clan, he has to follow "you are what you eat", right?? my first instinct for some reason is to cure him. like, turn him into prosciutto. if he's gonna have a funky smell, might as well turn up the salt and cure him. tie him up and lock him in the carefully controlled environment of the curing basement. dark... surrounded by other meatbags... slap him around every now and then. slice him up thin and put him on that fancy cheese board with a bunch of other strong smelling foods. slurp him down him with a glass of astringent aster juice to balance out the richness of the morv
Yakumo: soup. he's getting souped. it's only right. might split him half and half into one soup and one stew. maybe the soup will just be a concentrated essence of snek-style broth. like a clear, warming bowl of pho that is DISTILLED YAKUMO and doesn't need much else besides some fave spices to accompany the flavour. as for the stew? i just straight up like stew and it can be so nutritionally complete. so he's going in the classic comfort stew. chunks of yakumo and seasonal vegetables simmered to make a thick hearty pot of glorp. maybe add some alcohol to it if i want to live dangerously. he will sustain me for days to come. anything that i do not turn into soup? i'm going to steam him. a mild little parcel of wrapped yakumo, gently steamed for a hot minute. yakumo tastes best to me when a little wet.
Edmond: to honour his thick sugary ass, i have to turn edmond into some sorta dessert. turn the defrosted ice queen into ice cream? now i could just put edmond in a pot and reduce him until he turns into a syrup but then i would waste all the extra good bits that make up edomon. u need the tsun with the dere and reducing him to pure dere is NOT balanced. he can withstand quite a bit of punishment so maybe i'll whip him up like a custard (by hand FIRST. if that's not strong enough, i'll use an electric hand mixer). turn him into an earl grey creme brulee where u can set him on fire then smack that caramelised crust before spooning out the goopy insides.
Olivine: i feel like i'd wanna enjoy olivine in his least processed form. just enjoy the pure marbled goodness of well-exercised, tender oli. so why not a steak? medium rare to rare? just a little pan-sear and we can chew on him all we want. (i considered searing on a grill, but it's easier around here to get a pan instead of a grill. and oli is all about being accessible to the greatest number of people.) on the other hand, that might not honour oli's nature. he, too, can stand up to a lot of punishment. he might even like it. so part of him can be the relatively unprocessed slab and the other can be a cutlet. that way i can beat him with a hammer, dredge and bread him, then toss him into the deep fryer. to be served with a variety of heavy or creamy sauces.
Quincy: this man is OLD and TOUGH and he probably tastes like every bit of wildlife in the forest combined. then again, he's also always sleeping so does that mean his meat is quite relaxed and i don't have to tenderise forever to be able to chew it? quincy probably eats the simplest diet (no processed microwave preservative type cocktails in here) so he'd be best appreciated in an equally simple dish?? i'd like to skewer him. make him bite-size and cook him over a campfire. alternating with simple salt vs. intricate dry rubs bc i'm not sure which i'd prefer. if he ends up being tough, i'll let him hang out in a savoury marinade for however many days he needs (do NOT make me put a pineapple in there, mister).
Kuya: i lied. **THIS** man is OLD and TOUGH and SINEWY and A BITCHASS to deal with and i bet if i cut him at *just slightly near the wrong spot* then some mystery sac of foul gunk will explode all over me like a punk'd prank. i will take any excuse during the cooking process to abuse this one. grate his rind to infuse in the sauce. mince him for the physical satisfaction then throw him into the blender anyway. toss him violently into a fiery wok and start saute-ing him with every other ingredient ever. i hope you get stabbed by a bunch of pointy carrots. i'll broil him as if he's not already crispy. and I BET at the end of all this work, i'll have somehow have messed up and made him inedible. skill issue. at this point i give up, toss the entire kuya into the pressure cooker, and turn him into stew.
G/Karu: i wanna toss them like a salad (i think they'll have fun with that). i could go the traditional way and make wolf jerky. bring it on the road for a durable snack! if i could somehow chop these two up and turn them into furikake, they could become my convenient, reliable flavour injector for a quick bowl of rice. it's tricky because there are two distinct flavours and they gotta be treated differently to bring out their full potential. but they're also inseparable. what do i do??? i might just put them into my party-type foods where flavours are supposed to mix and it's the wildness of the combos that make it all fun. he's going on the 12-topping pizza!! he's being melted onto the giant tray of nachos!!!
Blade: CAN I EAT THIS? WILL I DIE? WILL MY TEETH BREAK OFF? i have to debone him. i bet there are pointy bits hiding everywhere. get my special tools out and pluck at him for over an hour (i must be thorough). might just put him in the microwave (he'd probably enjoy that). i feel like essence of Blade would also do well as a bubbly drink. mix a simple edroid syrup with some club soda and some edible flowers to look pretty (low calories too!). if the legends are true and blade can adapt to any flavour, i might just turn him into a condiment or special spice mix. grind him to dust and put him in a nice glass container near my stove so i can add him to various foods (the weirder the combo, the better). keep the spirit of experimentation alive with Blade popcorn seasoning!!
Dante: i am gonna make him fragrant as hell. gonna smoke him over intricate spice combos or tea leaves and impart him with the most alluring lung-punchiest sniffs. i don't wanna be too harsh with him but i trust that he'll at least stand up to heat well. he'd probably complain about wasting time, but i'm not rushing the process. u will sit in the smoker and steadily break down over time. maybe after the smoke, i can tuck the odds and ends into a savoury saucy pie. bake him for an hour surrounded by a flaky buttery crust? i might also experiment with some fermentation, like a dante kimchi. i'm curious as to how he'd change flavours given time to age (and just relax for a bit, really).
Rei: i am pickling him. he's gonna become that sour salty lil accompaniment to every meal i have. he'll last forever and somehow never mould and no matter how long i leave him chillin in the fridge, when the time comes to put him on a bun, i know i can rely on him to not suddenly go limp. i still gotta be careful with him tho. can't just stick my fingers in the jar and introduce contaminants all the day because it IS possible to Spoil the Goods idk i just feel like i'd have to let him sit in SOME sort of marinade or brine. if i try to eat him raw i might turn 14 shades of purple before dissolving into radioactive bile
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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People who get annoyed with me for always wanting to be on time & being anxious about being late to stuff would not last two seconds with my family tbh
#my granddad has showed up to stuff a day early ON PURPOSE before#or many hours early. if he’s not the first person there he thinks he’s late#one time we agreed he’d pick me up at 8:30 to get somewhere by 1pm (it would take us two hours to drive there. so he was already giving#himself 4.5 hours to drive 2 hours. and therefore planning on getting there 2.5 hours early)#and he showed up at 8 and was flabbergasted that i was still eating my breakfast and was not going to be ready to go for another half hour#sir what do you MEAN you want to give it five hours instead?? why do you think you need five hours to make a two hour journey#so then he drove like max verst*ppen and we got there almost three hours early and ended up sitting in somebody’s living room for those#three hours. i was so annoyed. i was like ‘do you regret setting off this early now’ he has the audacity to say no#are you kidding me. we are in your sister’s living room. her tv is somehow bigger than the actual room and she has the sound up SO loud#we could’ve been just getting in the car now. i could’ve slept in and enjoyed my morning. but noooooo#the one time he’s been late in his life was when i had this bee situation in my kitchen where basically bees were in my kitchen#and i’d figured out how they were getting in but i didn’t have the expertise to block up the opening so i called him#and i was like ‘there are fifteen fucking bees in my kitchen right now john. please help me’#he said he’d be there by 1. why did he show up at ten to three#i did feel vindicated when about two minutes after he arrived; a bee fell through the hole in the ceiling and landed flat on its back#on the counter right before both of our eyes & buzzed around angrily#even my grandma said ‘chuffing hell’. that’s how you know it’s bad#i think they were late because they didn’t take me seriously lol#personal
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sukugo · 2 years ago
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ok so i had this very interesting dream(s?) today
it was kinda like if i were "scrolling on tumblr" but also not, as in each post was smth that was happening? idk, well whatever, the important thing were the actual posts. there were 3 main ones.
post 1 was a kid ben solo clinging to luke, ben with cute pleading eyes and luke being uhhhhh help.....supposedly it was a drawing by someone
post 2. art by the same person as above, but this time it was anadinluke with anakin squished between dinluke in their laps, luke sitting behind him and din in front
and post 3. the most important. it was basically olimar!anakin where anakin's pikmin are in a corner super worried watching as obi-wan does something to anakin (I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HE WAS DOING! was it fucking him?? idk!!! i don't really think so) all the while anakin is complaining really bad. he's in pain? idk the thing is anakin doesn’t want him to do it and he's thrashing horribly while obi-wan grips his face HARD and doesn't let him move. and supposedly whatever obi-wan is doing is necessary for anakin to participate in a tournament (smash tournament perhaps?) and obi-wan won't have anakin NOT participate. he will force anakin to participate which is why he's doing this (bc they're rivals? idk exactly) (or it was something about obi-wan being the organizer of the event, not sure)
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justabunchofdragons · 2 years ago
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HI LOVE WHY ARE YOU AWAKE AT *checks watch* FUCKING EARLY AS SHIT IN THE MORNING???
IM ON HOLIDAY!!! TIMEZONEYS :D its 10am for me rn ^_^
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starlene · 3 months ago
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Here's a nice story I learned in the Norwegian ski museum:
In 1895, polar explorers Fridtjof Nansen and Hjalmar Johansen were having a bad time. Their expedition had faced some hardships and they were forced to stay on Franz Josef Land in a little hut they built out of mud and stones. In their hut, they slept for circa 20 hours a day, and spent the remaining four hours watching the northern lights or reminiscing about the comforts of home and the books they had read.
After several months of this, and nine months of sleeping in the same sleeping bag to stay warm, on New Year's Eve, Nansen finally gathered his courage and asked Johansen if they should start adressing each other with the informal you.
This is where the story ended in the museum, so unfortunately, I can't tell you whether Johansen answered yes or no.
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playingplayer2 · 2 months ago
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Holy fucking crispy sticks on a railway I just saw a fucking "house" listing on a realtor site with over 2000 acres of land and multiple buildings and when I say I'd probably do anything for that shit I mean hoooooolllly smokes. 2000+ acres at the low low price of 65 Million with a 14k+ sqft mansion as the main house Jesus fucking Christ in a hand basket I think I'd do just about anything for that kind of thing holy fuck
I don't have the money for that tho nor do I have the money I'd need for a wardrobe upgrade bc over sized t-shirts and skinny jeans are not exactly what I'd consider Estate Wear™ lmfao
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incendiorum · 11 months ago
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tag dump #2
#⌜❝ 𝚃𝙱𝙳. so long. good luck. goodbye. ❞ ⌟#⌜❝ 𝙻𝚄𝙲𝚁𝙴𝚉𝙸𝙰 𝙸𝙲. and after each midnight begins a new day. ❞ ⌟#⌜❝ 𝙸. we are never what we intend or envision. ⟩⟩#𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙽 𝙸𝙲. only a copy of a compromised creation. ❞ ⌟#𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙽 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃. and if you make it out alive hold that bloody head up high.❞ ⌟#⌜❝ 𝙰. is this what the resurrection feels like? ⟩⟩#𝙳𝙴𝚄𝚂 𝙸𝙲. and when the sun comes up you’ll find a brand new god. ❞ ⌟#𝙳𝙴𝚄𝚂 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃. slept in a murder scene last night. ❞ ⌟#𝙳𝙴𝚄𝚂 𝙰𝙴𝚂 / 𝙸𝚂𝙼𝚂. it’s a little bit heavenly. a little bit sick. ❞ ⌟#⌜❝ 𝙸𝙸. i’m the world ender & i’m back from the grave. ⟩⟩#𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙸𝙲. i am the burning temple. a throne of tooth and nail. ❞ ⌟#𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃. this little beast was nature’s own error. grew like a tree; born to spread terror. ❞ ⌟#𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙰𝙴𝚂 / 𝙸𝚂𝙼𝚂. got high from a holy vein. crashed down in a hurricane. ❞ ⌟#⌜❝ 𝙸𝙸𝙸. i wait on you inside the bottom of the deep blue sea. ⟩⟩#𝙼𝙴𝚁 𝙸𝙲. just a memory left for dead and gone forever. ❞ ⌟#𝙼𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃. lie where i land. let my bones turn to sand. ❞ ⌟#𝙼𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝙴𝚂 / 𝙸𝚂𝙼𝚂. abyssus abyssum invocat. ❞ ⌟#I'm posting these and also tentatively poking tumblr to see if it remembers them :skull:
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mariamlovesyou · 11 months ago
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tuned into Plestia's live with Rahma Zein's second account (she got shadowbanned). key moments:
plestia talked about her adjustment to living in australia. "it's 1:30am now and it's normal for me and many palestinians who live abroad to be awake hours into the morning. i am scared of sleeping. because of the time difference, i'm scared if i sleep i will wake up to bad news. in gaza i was scared of the sound of the bombs, here i am scared of the quiet."
contacting family and friends in gaza is near impossible. "sometimes i feel like a crazy person, calling 20 times in a row hoping that on the 21st time the call might go through."
on the destruction of entire communities and neighbourhoods: "i'm scared when i go back to gaza i won't recognise it anymore. someone sent me a picture of my neighbourhood, and i couldn't tell it was mine at first. all my favourite places, cafes where the aunties used to give me extra food and ask about my day, have been destroyed. i dread looking at my gallery or seeing snapchat memories because most of these people in the pictures are no longer alive."
rahma asked plestia to talk about one story that stuck with her. plestia said "i remember walking one time on the 'safe corridor', that's what they called it anyway, and i saw an older woman clutching onto a donkey cart where her son's body was, refusing to let go of it. i asked my colleague what the smell was, he said it's dead bodies under the rubble. it was the first time i familiarised myself with the smell. the son's body was decaying and the woman told me about cats and animals eating away at it. i've had children talk to me about birds eating away at their parents' decomposing bodies and not being able to chase them away."
"it seems so silly to go to hospitals for minor sicknesses now. i can't even think about how many palestinian children are going to be terrified of hospitals now. there was a girl who was taken to the hospital to get treatment for injuries by one of the bombs, and while she was in the bathroom another bomb landed nearby. the impact from that sent the ceiling crashing down on her.. she got another injury while getting treated for her first one."
"i hate how people talk about our resilience - as if it's okay that this is happening to us. we are only surviving because we have to, because we have no other choice."
rahma brought up the way family homes are set up in palestine and asked plestia to elaborate. "basically, there are floors. someone will live on the ground floor, and then their married son lives with his children on the floor above them, and then their successors above them and so on. so when family homes are targeted, they wipe out entire families. many families officially no longer exist."
"i used to wear my journalist helmet and vest all the time, felt naked without it, even slept with the vest on sometimes until i realised it only made me more of a target. they didn't give me any protection, only headaches and back pain."
"i am an optimistic person, i loved covering sweet sentimental things, like at my graduation asking parents of top graduates how they feel about their children graduating. that's what i love reporting on. i wanted to cover things like that when i came back to gaza, show the beautiful side of gaza that the media didn't really show, but i didn't have the chance." "do you think they'll give you right of return?" "i can only hope."
plestia mentioned how hard it was being a journalist with limited access to the internet, charging facilities, no mics, lack of equipment and how difficult it was uploading things. rahma asked her what's one story that wasn't really recorded or posted due to these constraints; plestia said "the evacuations. sometimes they informed us about them, sometimes they didn't. you have no idea how hard it was, everyone looking for their family members, making sure every one was there, taking to the streets in 5 minutes and not knowing which way to go. i remember i went to my friend's house for shelter for 30 minutes before the first evacuation was announced and we ran to another family's house, stayed there for 2 days before another evacuation was announced. me, my friend, and that family all evacuated together to another family's house. there were already so many people there seeking shelter, it wasn't just one family staying there. none of us knew how long we had in any place."
before october 7th, palestinians were used to limitations on electricity. plestia used to plan her day's tasks around when the electricity was working. "for example when the electricity was on from 12 to 4, i would say i will do my laundry and charge the phones during this time. life wasn't exactly 'normal', but all of us pray to have those days back in comparison to what we are experiencing now." plestia also said that cars are running on cooking oil now because there is no fuel.
on hygiene: "many pregnant women have to give birth without any pain medication or medical attention. once we ran out of medicine, that was it. women who had to get C-sections couldn't stay to recover or get followup treatments because someone else needed the bed. we have no water, no tissues, no pads, barely any bathrooms. in the shelter schools you have to wait an hour before even getting to use the bathroom because of how many people are there."
"something you don't hear about is how many people die because of sadness. there's so many ways to die in gaza, because of the bombardment, because of starvation, the lack of resources, but i also know many elderly people who died because their hearts couldn't take it anymore. i have been in gaza before and lived through 4 aggressions, but nothing compared to this one."
a recurring sentiment that was echoed in the video: "sometimes i thought to myself: who am i recording this for? because we've already shown everything, we've already talked about everything. everything has already been said, the proof is everywhere, nothing i talked about today is new." rahma said the first video posted about what's happening in palestine should've been enough.
she is 22 today. plestia's closing words: don't stop talking about us, don't stop boycotting, don't stop protesting, please don't get bored of fighting for palestine.
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justanotherbirdbrain-blog · 11 months ago
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Geology of Natural Disasters and How to write them into your fictional universe.
So, you want to write about a natural disaster to advance your plot and torture your players/characters even more? Let me tell you how, accurately.
I feel like unless it is a volcano, natural disasters are a pretty slept on plot drivers, and some of them are really cool and unique! Today, I will talk to you about land slides, earthquakes (And earthquake related disasters), and volcanoes.
Landslides: Probably one I see the least in stories, but one that would be incredibly interesting to write into a plot where they believe in curses. Landslides can happen along ocean bluffs, slightly hilly areas, and highly mountainous areas, this means it is something that can happen in most landscapes. But what can trigger a landslide? Mostly all you need to trigger a landslide could be just abnormally large amounts of rain, excessive deforestation (with a little bit of rain), or an earthquake. If you don't want to use deforestation or an earthquake as a catalyst, a really cool indicator that the land is slipping and may be prone to a collapse is J hooked trees.
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This indicates that there is soil creeping slowly over time, and it may lead to a major landslide.
2. Earthquakes: Probably one of the easiest things to write, earthquakes can happen anywhere, but they are most common in places that are tectonically active areas. There are about three types of environments you can expect earthquakes to be common. The first is just rugged mountains, if your landscape looks like this, you should write in earthquakes. Associated hazards could be landslides, avalanches, and large falling rocks.
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The next landscape could be a thin mountain range, next to the ocean, very scenic, but very dangerous. Essentially, I am describing a subduction zone environment.
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Earthquakes in these areas could equal a couple different associated disasters. Scenario one: A very large earthquake happens, and the ocean begins to recede. This is a tsunami, enough said. If you are writing a tsunami though, please, please, do not write it as a large wave, thank you. Also, a common way people are hurt by tsunami's are from them going into the ocean because they don't understand a tsunami is going to happen.
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Scenario two: A large earthquake happens, your characters are in a valley and suddenly the ground begins to liquify as the ground shakes, once the shaking stops, the ground becomes solid like nothing ever happened, except everything has suddenly sunk into the now hard ground. This is called liquefaction and it typically happens in areas that have loose dirt or lots of saturated soil.
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Scenario three: There are a lot of small earthquakes, they do not cause a lot of damage, but you begin to notice that one of the isolated mountains has a plume rising. Earthquakes can indicate lava moving underground and the filling of magma chambers.
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The next environment that can host lots of earthquakes would be regions that have a lot of really deep valleys and small mountain ranges (not cone volcanoes), but overall seems pretty flat.
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This indicates a transform fault like the San Andreas. If you want to hint at there being earthquakes in the area, you can show fence posts that are suddenly several feet out of line at a dilapidated farm or something similar.
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(These earthquakes are different because they are cased from sideways movement, not an up-and-down movement this hint can only be used for this environment). Volcanoes would not be found here, but liquefaction and landslides could still occur here.
4. Volcanoes: If you thought earthquakes had a lot of information, volcanoes do too. First you have to ask yourself, what kind of volcano you want to have, what kind of eruption style? So lets break down the kind of eruptions you can have and what their landscapes look like. Hawaiian Shield volcano: This will produce a smooth fast lava, the landscape typically is pretty flat, but there will be small cones and the rocks can have a ropey or jagged texture and the rocks will be almost exclusively black to dark red.
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Stratovolcanoes: These will be solitary mountains, typically, that look like perfect cones (Picture shown in earthquake section). These will have large ash cloud eruptions and pyroclastic flows, they may have some lava, but typically most damage is done from the pyroclastic flows (think Pompeii). Some hints of these, other than describing the cone features (which can be hidden by other mountains), would be to talk about petrified wood! Trees can get fossilized in the ash and I imagine it would be very strange to find this rock that clearly looks to be a piece of wood, but its a rock. Subcategory- Calderas: Used to be a large stratovolcano, but they erupt so explosively that the entire cone collapses and creates a basin.
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There are a lot of kinds of volcanoes out there, so forgive me for just putting an infographic and then talking to you about these really rare types of eruptions that I feel like people should know about.
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Okay lets talk about blue lava (kind of) and black lava
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You will notice the lava is still red in the middle of this image, during the day these would look like a normal eruption, but at night the burning sulfur would make it appear blue. Some cool features other than this, would be that any water in the area would become very acidic and burn the skin due to sulfuric acid. This would again be really cool if you are trying to describe a 'cursed' land.
Black lava: This happens only in the east African rift I believe, but it is a carbonatite lava, but if you are writing in a rift valley (where the continent is tearing apart to form a new ocean) this might be a cool feature. The lava will cool white and will quickly erode, it makes for a very alien landscape!
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Anyway as always, this is supposed to be an introductive guide for the basics of writing geology to create cool landscapes/features into dnd or fictional universes, if you are a geologist please understand my oversimplification of tectonics, I didn't want people to run away.
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theresascove · 26 days ago
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you know how I love it when you ride on me ₊ ⊹
ellie williams x f!reader
Ellie fucks you in the locker room showers while her teammate is chatting to her in a nearby shower
tw: not proofread, FILTHY MESSY SMUT, college soccer player!ellie, strap sucking (e receiving), dom/top!ellie, sub/bottom!reader, strap in v (r receiving), degrading, exhibition, choking, fingering (r receiving), consensual secret fuck buddy relationship, locker room shower sex, Ellie can pull on r’s hair, hinted at containing fucking but e receives head
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wc ✎ 1.8k • fic based off of chase atlantic’s song die for me
The utter of her name causes your heart to race. The nerves that overtake you whenever you hear, “Ellie Williams,” make you feel paranoid at times. Nobody would know, there’s no way—and yet you still feel watched at times. Like when people look at you, your mind whispers on about how they know. Somehow they know you slept with Ellie Williams.
In a way, she was considered the Caitlin Clark of your college’s soccer team. Not known around the country, but she’s known within your state—especially within your college campus.
And somehow, you ended up in her bed.
Your friend had offered to go to the soccer game that was happening on campus, suggesting that it be a nice way to spend the day rather than do nothing. These plans were made a while ago, since then things have changed. So now here you stand in line beside her, heart racing yet again from the knowledge of possibly seeing her again.
“You know,” your friend starts, eyes locked on the huge screen displaying advertisements in the entrance, “I never thought I’d go to any of the games our college offers.”
“Yeah me neither.”
She scans her ticket before you, free admission since you’re both students, “I know we’re on the grass but it’s not that bad.”
She walks around, guiding you through the food stand so she could grab a drink. It’s decently crowded, shoulders bumping yours occasionally. While waiting in line your friend makes a signal in hopes you’d lean closer to listen to her.
“I have to grab something from Casey after the game,” she yells.
“Who’s Casey?”
She points to the screen where the name Casey Spring was written on the board.
“Her.”
You did see her name, but the one that caught your attention was the one just below it. Ellie. Her voice contained to chat in your ear explaining why she had to pick something up from her friend, but your attention was mainly directed towards the auburn girl on the field.
Fuck.
Wasn’t long before you somehow ended up underneath her, trapped under her body while the water ran down. Your clothes got soaked, but even more so with how she was kissing you. How you landed this position was baffling, but the second you two saw each other in the empty shower room—she lost it and you melted into her touch.
“Ellie,” you whisper, humming when she kisses you again—pressing you further back against the shower wall. There was no space between the two of you, bodies sliding on one another.
“Ellie,” you whisper again, this time she’s cursing under her breath and shrugging her jersey off.
Somewhere in the room lied another one of her teammates, the shower running hinting at it. You two were almost caught before she came with the clever idea of shoving the two of you into the shower and turning it on.
You had stood before her, eyes locked for a minute in silence. She couldn’t take it much longer, eyes flicking down to yours before she continued to kiss you just as she had before her friend walked in.
Her friend calls from the other stall, yelling out Ellie’s name. Ellie finishes her kiss with you, not rushing her moment with you just to respond to her.
“Do you have any conditioner I can borrow?”
She mouths at your jaw, “yeah, in my backpack. Front pocket.”
You hear the pitter patter of her teammates feet as she steps near the one you two were hiding in. You gasp when she bites down hard, shooting a hand to cover over your mouth.
Your eyes screamed for her to wait, or at least show down but she didn’t. Her fingers trailed down to cup you, sliding her middle finger through your folds. The feeling in your chest was tight as you did everything to not make a sound. Knowing her friend lied just outside the curtain caused a sensation in you, making you drip onto Ellie’s fingers. She circles your clit before pressing onto it—keeping her finger there and grinding it down.
Your chest rose with the air you sucked in sharply, nails hand digging into her shoulder. She smiled, moving your hand to kiss you again.
“Oh finally found it,” her teammate announces, “thanks.”
Ellie doesn’t reply, too busy focused on making you squirm. Apparently Ellie not responding was the opposite of what her teammate wanted. While you’re getting fingered and kissed breathlessly, her teammate was trying to find ways to chat with Ellie—thinking she was upset that they lost the game.
She didn’t want to talk her feelings out, she wanted to fuck you—just like she was doing now. Enjoying watching how your eyebrows are furrowed and you’re hips are squirming under her pace.
“Ellie hey, just wanted to say that you played really well today.”
She wanted to roll her eyes like how you just did when you came—nails actually making her shoulder bleed. You gasped and she was quick to put her hand over your throat—not choking entirely, just keeping it there to remind you to stay quiet.
“You okay?”
“I’m good,” she responded finally, voice horse.
Ellie tugged the rest of your sopping clothes off, dragging them and leaving them to stay at your feet. She kissed down your body, licking over your nipple and smirking at how sensitive you are.
She reaches her hand back out, grabbing the strap she had lying in the back pocket of her backpack. Your eyes widened, looking suprised but also dumbfounded—confused too. She shrugs, mouthing, “what else do you expect?”
“You sure? I just feel bad. I know how you get in your head about this—“
She takes the pent up annoyance and uses it to tug on your hair—guiding you onto your knees in front of her. Her thumb taps at your jaw, opening you so she can slide her length past your lips.
“I’m fine, Jess—fuck me,” Ellie says, almost groaning at the end there when you look up at her.
She uses the close walls, laying your head back against it so you don’t have anywhere to turn—locking you there so she can fuck your mouth. Your mind shuts off so quickly, eyes glossing over and shutting from the slight water that falls from Ellie’s hair and onto your face.
You circle your hips down onto your heel, using the friction onto your throbbing clit. Though you had just come, Ellie’s known to drive you to heaven multiple times if your last night in bed with her said anything. She had you laid out beneath her as she fucked you from behind, ass stinging from where she slapped you. She had you crying, tears running freely down your cheeks from the way she used you. You couldn’t forget that feeling, you don’t beleive your body will ever be the same since her.
“Do you think you did well? I believe you played nicely. Scored the most goals out of anyone.”
She pushes you further down, bottom lip dropping open in a deep silent moan when tears show in the corner of your eyes. You looked like a slut, slick pooling on your bottom lip.
“Y-yeah, fuck yeah I did,” she says, pulling tightly at your hair.
“There you go, I hear the passion in your voice. You did well.”
She angles your face, pulling out and leaning to kiss you again. You wrap your arms around her shoulders, sliding them from up her thighs and up to her neck. Her body makes its way into the floor, leaned back against the white wet wall. Her fingers grip onto you, holding you steady on her lap.
Little sounds and gasps between you while you kiss. Your hips grind onto her length, sliding it between your legs and shuttering.
“Did you have any actual regrets with the game? Like ways we could’ve done better?”
She thrusts up into you, pulling you flesh down onto her. Her length and size splits you open. Your walls grip onto her tightly, making it a little difficult to thrust into you.
“The team could’ve been rougher,” she says, eyeing you and slapping your thigh. You take it as a hint to take over, using what energy you had to slide on her length. She slides a finger into your mouth, smirking when you lick it from the base to the tip.
“I guess so,” her teammate says, still trying to talk to Ellie and it was obviously frustrating her. Not that she didn’t appreciate it, she just was wanting to focus on you and this was interfering it.
You slide back down in a way that bumps with her clit, making her jolt. She hums from the feeling, and thankfully her friend only took it like Ellie was agreeing with her.
“Els,” you whine, voice so quiet and spoken so close to her ear, “Els, fuck me—please.”
Her tattoo shows in your face as she pushes her wet hair back—looking to you with darkened eyes.
“Ride me better then,” she mouths, her words barely spoken.
You try to, really but you’re sore still from the last time between you two. She can tell, she knows—seeing the way you shake atop of her. She takes pity though, hands sliding onto you to hold you in a way so she can fuck up into you.
There’s a bite mark on her neck from where you bit her to keep silent, but it doesn’t do too much—you still whimper, breath hot against her skin. You’re surprised her friend can’t hear the slapping of your skin, or your moans. There’s a chance she can, but she’s believing it’s just something else.
You come with a cry, teeth biting harder into her neck at a different spot. The pleasure overtakes you, wracking your body.
“Okay well, I’m heading out. Just wanted to say you did well today Ellie.”
“And so did you,” she calls out, eyes staring into yours as she brushes your cheek. Your vision is glossy again, and you’re sure you looked wrecked. Body wet and shivering atop her lap, slip on her strap.
As soon as the door to the showers closes, she’s pulling you close with an aggressive tug, “gonna eat me out now or do I have to guide your dumbass again?”
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deadsetobsessions · 10 months ago
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Alley Drunk! Danny AU- Part 1
[Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4]
To not turn into a giant raging asshole hell bent on murdering people and destroying the world after everyone he loved died, Danny had ran from Amity with his chosen vice.
A bottle. That’s right. Even after Jazz’s talks about alcoholism as a poor coping mechanism as a form of self harm, he still chose alcohol. Or maybe that’s why he picked it, because it reminded him of her, right before the booze took the sting of grief off of her memory. He was never really all that good at listening to Jazz.
And now she’s gone, so it’s moot point. Danny really hated Nasty Burger.
Danny made it all the way to Gotham, bottle constantly glued to his hand. It’s better than Vlad’s creep-o-self looming over him all of the time. He bummed out on the streets, fitting into crime alley like a native. Danny learned to pickpocket. Not much, just enough for a bottle when his ran out. He stayed human. At first he tried to convince himself that it was because he didn’t want to be perceived as a meta in a city where Batman notoriously disliked metas. Then, as he sunk deeper, he admitted to himself in a shameful curl of a whisper that it was really because alcohol affected his human side much easier.
Ghosts need an ungodly amount of alcohol to even get slightly buzzed. Danny’s human side? Only one full bottle the shittiest tequila he could find could even hope to be more than buzzed. It sucked.
He’s spent two years being an alcoholic that didn’t actually get that drunk. Technically, underage drinking was a crime. But then again, so was being a vigilante ghost. So, whatever. He does what he can to dull the grief. Mostly, he slept on covered and hidden nooks on top of Crime Alley’s roofs. Gotham city had taken pity on him and cleared her smog clouds when he was awake at night. Stargazing helped, at least. It gave him a little hope. It gave him a little wish to change and better and live like he wants. But then the night ends and when the day comes, Jazz isn’t there. Sam isn’t there. Tucker isn’t there. His mom and dad are not there.
Danny always went back to the bottle, in the end. Not that it did much.
Which was why, when he saw three looming figures over a tiny child, Danny’s saving people thing flared with a vengeance and his surprised ectoplasm burned what little buzz he had achieved by downing most of the bottle away, leaving him stone cold sober and pissed.
Danny sighed, dumping the rest of the nasty tasting liquid out. There’s no point drinking that little.
He approached the trio, who were beating up an actual child. Ancients, he hated Crime Alley sometimes.
“Give me your shit, you little punk!” Asshole 1 decided to say like a typical mugger, raising his leg to kick the curled up kid below. Danny doesn’t let him land the kick, smashing the bottle on the asshole’s head before any of them clocked his presence. He pivots, pushing a bit of that extra strength he normally keeps on a tight leash into his hands, and punched the other two in a quick fashion, knocking them out.
With that taken care of, Danny turned back to the kid who was still curled up. Danny sighed again, the trembles in small shoulders plucking on his heartstrings.
“You okay, kid?”
The kid uncurls, and Danny stared. Holy shit, is he looking into a mirror? Blue eyes, black hair, and tanned skin. Holy shit, he’s even got similar jaws to Danny.
“Huh.”
The kid flinched.
“Y-y’er the drunk,” the kid flinched again, eyes darting to the broken bottle still clenched in Danny’s hand. “I- I ain’t got money, honest. Please-”
Danny blinked down at the kid, brain connecting the dots after so long without actual interaction. He’s panicking and staring at the bottle in Danny’s hand like it’ll kill him. Danny raised the bottle and the kid closed his mouth with a click, terror worming its way into the kid’s eyes.
“I wasn’t going to mug you myself, kid.”
“But- y’er the- the Alley drunk.”
Danny blinked. Did he get a reputation without knowing again? Goddammit.
“I guess. Am I famous or somethin’?”
“Nobody- nobody fucks wit’ ya.”
“I also don’t hurt kids.”
“…”
The kid stared at him dubiously and with a sinking feeling, Danny realized that maybe the kid already had some terrible experiences with a heavy drunken hand. He promptly chucks the bottle further into the alley.
“I drink, yes. But I’m also not the kind of scum that would lay hands on a kid, let alone anyone that didn’t provoke it first.”
“Oh.” The kid uncurled more, looking at Danny warily, more at ease now that the bottle has left the chat.
“Yeah. I’m Danny. Stone cold sober, right now.”
“…”
Danny waited.
“Peters.”
“Okay. Peters, do you wanna take their shit?” Danny pointed a thumb at the knocked out would-be-muggers behind him.
“Y… yeah, sure. What’s my cut?”
“All of it.”
Peters stared.
Danny shrugged and started looting.
"Y'er so fuckin' weird."
----
See, the thing is, Danny hadn't anticipated saving Peters- "'s actually Jason"- would result in having a duckling following him around. The kid, Jason, glared at everyone who even looked at them wrong. But that's not the problem, because Danny could take anyone who took issue with Jason's looks, it's more like there's a child following him around now and Danny doesn't want to be the reason Jason turns into an alcoholic. It's- well, it made him cut down on the drinking. He even got jobs- legitimate jobs that sucks out his his poor ectoplasmic soul.
Why? Because Jason's apparently homeless. While that's something Danny's okay with for himself, he can't ever condone that for an actual child. Jason's walking around in threadbare clothes and thin soled shoes in the middle of Fall, for Ancient's sake.
Danny grumbles as he piled a bunch of clothes into the shopping bag as he checked out. Gotham's Walmart is a different kind of hell, but Danny feels right at home.
Sure, the work might suck out his soul and he might hate being sober, but Jason's face every time he comes home to an actual place to live, warm clothes, and food was worth everything.
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reiderwriter · 1 month ago
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I Won't Let You Forget
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Summary: When you wake up in a familiar yet unfamiliar bed with no memory of begging your long-time work crush to sleep with you, you have even less recollection of him actually agreeing. Small memories of pleasure haunt you as he tries to figure out why you're suddenly so distant.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!!!! Alcohol use (whole BAU team, and as a precursor to sex), implied smut, on page (?) smut, dom-ish!Spencer, male masturbation, marking, nipple play/torture, edging, penetrative sex, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, semi-public sex/ make out, creampie, reader is very into male moans. That should be it.
A/N: I forgot about this fic TWICE, but it's here!!! Posting again for @imagining-in-the-margins FWB challenge, and I feel like this one slightly misses the mark but it works anyway. Gif inspiration is at the end for anyone familiar with Business Proposal lol
Masterlist
Being an FBI Agent means you'd slept in - and woken up in - some sketchy places on jobs. A number or motel and hotel rooms across the backroads of America, planes, cars, and office desks. You could usually orient yourself pretty well upon waking, and remember how you'd gotten yourself there quickly.
There was something strange about that morning in particular, though. The bed was comfier and warmer than any motel you'd ever seen, and the fact that there was one meant no jet or desk. It was pitch black outside, though, so visually, you were out of luck. The sheets smelt fresh and familiar, and if weren't for a small warning bell in the back of your head, you'd have shut your eyes again and huddled against the large body pressed against your back.
‘Ah,’ you thought, inwardly cringing. ‘That would be it then.’
Slowly, you pulled what you assumed to be a man's arm from around your midsection, trying to extricate yourself quietly from the bed without any notice.
Whoever was asleep behind you, though, was a lot stronger than you had bargained for, and he quickly pulled you back into him.
Your back hit his chest as he nuzzled into your neck, and you heard his groan out a greeting before stilling and returning to the land of rest. If anything, for your troubles you just came to an understanding that whoever was behind you was just as naked as you were, and based on the way your body seemed over stretched, and well-rested, you had no doubt about the events leading upto your discovery.
You just had no memory of it either.
You wracked your brain, trying desperately to recall where you were, who you were with, and what you were going to do to get out. Unluckily for you, your brain was at about half capacity as his hands worked their way between your legs, even as he slept.
His hands were soft, his touch light on your skin, as if he were tracing words along a page. You twitched under him, stomach flipping as your hips bucked backwards, and your eyes dropped closed again.
You hadn't a clue who you'd climbed into bed with, you simply had the greatest regret that you'd likely never see him again, and would not remember what was likely a deeply, deeply satisfying night.
In abject mortification, you tried once more to free yourself from the very pleasurable prison you'd found yourself in.
Thankfully, his hands chose that moment to fall limp, and you took your chance, hopping up and searching the floor for at the very least your underwear before chancing a glance around you.
Like an arrow through the heart, you realised the room was familiar because you had slept here before. You'd slept over at Spencer's house many times, after work ran late and you needed a place to crash.
Never naked, though. Until now.
You pulled on your clothes as fast as you physically could and tried not to squeak out your disbelief. You almost wondered if you hit your head hard enough against the bookshelf, some braincells would knock together and produce the memory you'd been desperate to make for half a year.
You had finally succeeded in bedding Spencer Reid. And you didn't remember a moment of it.
It was grief that drove you out of his house at 5 am. on a Saturday morning, and definitely, absolutely no regret.
Stepping outside the dark building and being greeted by the first hints of a sunrise, one single, trifling memory slipped back into your brain.
“Something casual,” you giggled, every 's' sound slurring together with each letter touching them. “Something casual and naughty, and fun.”
You didn't remember his exact reply, but though a flicker of arousal ran through you at the memory of the deep rumble of his voice. He had been close, his mouth next to your ear.
You supposed now that his reply hardly mattered when you knew the outcome anyway. It'd been the man himself wrapped around you in bed that morning, his fingers grazing your skin, his cock hard against your ass, his dreams obviously clearer than your own memories.
“It's not like we have the time to see other people,” you'd said to him the night before, hand pushing up his thigh to signal your intent. “We can have some fun. Share a motel room now and then.”
Four sentences.
Four sentences were the extent of your memories, and each one of them had been said by you. Not even a single reply flittered through your brain anymore, a single reaction.
You'd have thought it all a dream but for the fact that you were hunched outside the main entrance to Spencer's building, sans pair of panties you couldn't locate, thanking the gods that your very expensive bra was still around and that you'd worn pants the night before.
To say that Spencer was similarly disorientated when he woke hours later was an understatement. Of course, with the caveat that he remembered every word, every breath, every touch and movement. Instead, he was surprised to find you gone, without a word.
You'd promised as much last night, though.
Casual sex. That's what you'd asked for, and what he'd spent the better half of an evening trying to talk you out of, first with words and then with actions.
It didn't take a night together with you for Spencer Reid to realise that what he wanted quickly bypassed casual. Even now, alone in bed with the memory of you, your scent buried deep in his sheets, the history of your lips branded into his skin, he felt an overwhelming longing.
His body protested against his interrupted plans. He'd hoped to wake you up much the same way he'd put you to sleep the night before, limbs tangled, his cock buried deep inside of you. Instead, he swung his legs out of bed and looked for any trace of you.
It didn't take him long to find your accidental gift. He'd been the one to remove them from you the night before, and he had a good grasp of what the room was supposed to look like, so spotting a pair of fire truck red panties tucked by the door wasn't hard.
It was less spotting them and more staring at them until he convinced his body to calm down, which in and of itself was like fighting a losing battle.
He'd woken up hard, which he didn't doubt was due to dreams of you. He tried his best to ignore it, but before he knew it, he was laid back down with your discarded panties in his hand, pressed up to his mouth and nose as he worked out his frustrations.
Usually, he tried to get himself off as quickly as possible. Time was a commodity, and he always had to be somewhere doing something. That morning, though, he gladly sat back and indulged.
His brain queued up the memories of the night before, playing them chronologically so he could enjoy the feeling of your lips on his, your legs gripping around him, your tongue flicking at the tip of his dick. When he finally came, it was with the disappointment that he hadn't gotten to the best bit yet, finally pushing inside of you.
But after a night of activity and a lonely morning, he let himself rest again and turned his mind to other objectives.
1. Get your panties back to you without being put in handcuffs for indecency.
2. Have enough casual sex with you that you realise you no longer want casual, but something more.
3. Change the bedsheets.
The following week at the BAU was - thankfully - a blur of cases, consultations, and computer files. You were swept off on another case by Sunday evening, back in two days and off again by Thursday morning. Before you knew it, an entire week had passed, and you hadn't had to discuss anything with anyone.
Every morning walking into the bullpen was like walking on shards of broken glass. Willingly.
You'd said less than four sentences to Spencer since you'd accidentally on purpose thrown yourself into his lap, and you found yourself suddenly lacking the vocabulary to actually bring it up.
Instead, you'd simply chosen to sigh after him as he did anything at all in the office, with a single thought in your head: ‘Did he keep the glasses on while we fucked?’
He'd been wearing them all week, and you always thought they made him look hotter than he already was. A little nerdy, but in a Superman way. You couldn't for the life of you get the memory to pop back into your head, though, despite prompting it with many out of pocket daydreams.
“What's got you all introspective?” Derek asked, striding up beside you in the office kitchenette.
“Nothing in particular, what makes you ask?”
“Well, Princess, you just poured salt in your coffee, and from memory, you don't take it that way, so maybe there's something going on with you.”
You cursed and emptied your cup quickly as the man laughed.
“Take it what way?” A voice called out from the doorway, and every hair on your body stood on high alert. There was something about Spencer saying ‘take it’ that should've been so casual, but sent shudders across your body as you heard the words whispered into your ear.
“Take it like a good girl, that's right. So good for me.”
Your cup almost went crashing to the floor as your ears pricked, but you refused to turn around for fear he'd read the truth on your face.
“Nothing kid,” Morgan said, chuckling as you rinsed your cup and kept rinsing it until you felt yourself cool down a bit.
“What's up with the glasses? You've been wearing them a lot this week.” Derek asked, and you cursed his sudden onset curiosity, knowing there was no way to dismiss yourself from the room without garnering an entirely new set of questions.
“I just ran out of contacts,” Spencer replied, but you heard the grin in his tone without even having to look at him.
“You should just throw out all of your contacts,” you'd said, as you nipped at his throat. “I swear I'd jump you every day if you looked at me like that down your glasses.”
You tried to remain composed as the memory of straddling him and grinding down against his hard member hit you like a freight train. You felt you managed it well until you looked down to see another ruined, salty coffee.
“If you ever want to fuck me, just, like, come in wearing the glasses. I'll know,” you'd moaned as his hands gripped your hips controlling your rhythm and pressing you harder into him. “Fuck, I’ll know.”
“I give up,” you mumbled and took off, avoiding all eye contact as you left the small space.
A small part of you had wished that Spencer had your memory of the night. The smallest, teeniest part of you that didn't want a do-over that was. Getting possible confirmation that he remembered everything you'd said while drunk on dick (and tequila) was a lot to take on at 2 pm. on a Friday.
As you walked away, you sent up a prayer to every deity you could think that the memories came back whole and intact, and quickly, and preferably while you were alone and not in company.
Because you wanted nothing more than to relive that brief bite of pleasure you'd been granted.
The weekend came and went fairly obstruction free, even if your dreams, waking and not, were filled with the image of Spencer's head tipped back as you raked your teeth and tongue over sensitive areas.
It took you all the way until Monday morning, when you'd returned to work and seen Spencer in the glasses once again, to remember the meaning of the words you'd thrown at him.
Spencer wanted to fuck you again. Still. Continuously?
The thought made you a little apprehensive - he already knew your body, from the sounds of it, he'd definitely been competent enough, and you was left stranded on the desert island of short term memory loss. He wanted to fuck him you again. Was there a reason? Was there something you did that he enjoyed? What were his boundaries? His kinks? What positions did he like?
Half your days now, it seemed, were filled with questions about sex with Spencer. So it wasn't a surprise you'd kept up your staring. You couldn't fault him for having his eyes trained on you more times than not as well.
You were so glad that your emotions on the subject were so tangled and crossed that no one else could read them there.
BAU 0-1 EMOTIONAL TURMOIL
It was lucky, though, that you were watching him near constantly and were the first to notice the flash of purple against his neck as he loosened his tie.
You stood with a startling bang, hitting your knee against the table as you sprinted over to his desk.
Leaning over him, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and, tugging him around so he was facing you, began buttoning it for him.
“Y/N,” he whispered, looking up at you and trying to play this off as a daily occurrence, to not alert the room full of human lie detectors to suspicious behaviour.
“What are you doing?”
“Your tie is loose. Strauss is always visiting these days. Let's not give her petty reasons to penalise us.”
He relaxed more into your touch and let you work, tilting his head so your hands could get where they needed to be.
“So you're being a good friend?” he asked, and despite the obvious bait, you answered.
“Yes.”
“Good friends help each other out.”
“We can still be friends, Spencer,” you'd begged as you fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, desperate to get it off so you had more skin to taste. “Good friends who help each other out from time to time. Like this.”
“Your neck is still purple,” you whispered, changing the subject and moving on to his tie as you untied it and levelled it again, ready to twist back up.
“Is yours?”
“You can see my neck, it's fine.”
“That's not what I meant.”
You met his eyes finally, completing the last loop of the knot as you challenged him.
Or rather, challenged yourself to not drop your eyes to his lips.
“Say what you mean,” you glared, straightening his shoulders and brushing off non-existent dust as you attempted to slip away.
“The purple marks on you. I didn't leave them on your neck. Are they still… bright?”
You looked around you. Emily and Derek seemed to be giving you slightly weird looks, but both seemed trapped on business phone calls that wouldn't end anytime soon.
You'd noticed the marks straight away, of course, across the tops of your breasts and surrounding them, as if that area had been the coordinates for a targeted assault. Now, though, with his eyes burning a path down from your eyes to your chest as loudly as a person could ever look, you knew just how true that was.
“Spencer, fuck YES!” You had moaned the second your back hit the mattress of his bed. You'd been drinking together on his sofa, but were ecstatic to graduate to the bedroom and lose half your clothes in the process.
With greedy hands, he'd ripped away your bra, and immediately he'd latched on with his mouth, sucking, biting, licking, fondling. He bruised one spot with his mouth while his hand tortured a nipple, first ignoring it, circling it but not touching it directly, and then pulling it to the border of pain and pleasure before switching hand and mouth and repeating the process.
Back in the present, you looked down at Spencer in his seat, breathed deeply, and replied.
“You know as well as I do that you made them to last.”
“So we match, then?” he asked, and you gave a quick nod before escaping back to the relative sanity of your desk. His eyes didn't leave your chest though, and for the whole afternoon, you wondered if he'd invented a way to look so hard that you bruised further.
If you had to give one reason why you loved your job, you'd probably say because you spent your day solving riddles and puzzles and getting to the bottom of situations. You liked clear-cut explanations for things and couldn't stand the roundabout ways people in other professions had to talk to each other. You'd listen to Hotch walk laps around other lawyers in legalese enough times to know you were no fan of espionage or double talk.
So there was only one downside of the job, and that was having to be covert. If you'd wanted to spy, you'd have joined the CIA instead.
Your most recent case, unfortunately, had landed you doing exactly that. It had also landed you in a closet, chest to chest with Spencer Reid, as you listened into a conversation between two likely suspects.
In the first five minutes, you gained the important information you needed, and the next forty-five was a waiting game to see when they'd finally get out so you could escape.
If you'd been alone, you wouldn't have minded. But with Spencer's 6 foot something frame practically wrapped around your own, your spine was ramrod straight, your thoughts turning back to frustration as you urged your brain to give back the night of memories you'd lost.
Because if he felt this good just stood next to you, you would go crazy imagining how good he felt inside you.
The most you managed to squeak out, after nearly an hour wrapped around each other, though, was “Do you get a sense of Deja Vu here?”
It was the first time you'd turned your head to look at him, having been looking to the door the entire time. But your gaze returned to him, and even the shadows of the closet couldn't hide the obvious list dripping from his eyes as he covertly stared down your shirt. Your breasts had popped up a bit more with him squished up against you, and your hands were pinned to the wall beside your waist should you need to draw your gun quickly if found.
Your companion, instead, was in a world of his own, and you were suddenly grateful that he'd kept at least an inch of space between your hips, knowing that you, too, would be a goner if you had to stand against the hard line of his cock for this long.
“Hmm?” He whispered, still staring at the little speckles of faded yellow and purple that popped out of your suddenly too low shirt.
“Deja vu?” You asked again, slightly breathless and dizzy, a side effect of his lusty gaze.
He raised an eyebrow and gave a slow nod, his hands gripping your waist and pinning you more firmly to the wall as he debated giving into temptation. “We've definitely been here before.”
A snippet of a memory caught you unaware, and you gasped in response.
He pinned your hands above your head against the wall as you crashed your way into the bedroom, his fingers too impatient to undress you to start pleasuring you. Without a warning, he slipped a hand up your dress and down your panties, keeping you in place with one impossibly large hand as the other skilfully drew out moan after moan with soft caresses.
“So fucking wet for me,” he groaned against your lips, as your memory melted away to reality.
You were being edged by your goddamn frontal cortex, and you had absolutely had enough. As soon as the suspects left, you raced out of the closet as fast as your feet could carry you away from the torment.
A week of solid case work, avoiding Spencer and hitting your head against a brick wall in your spare time later, and you found yourself attending a hasty work celebration with the team.
A murderer had been caught job well done, or whatever excuse you needed to unwind after work over a few large pizzas.
“All I'm saying is, a deep dish every now and again would be appreciated. We're never that far from Chicago.”
“We're 613 miles away from Chicago.”
You laughed at the tired face Derek flashed the team before biting into his slice, your other coworkers similarly tucking into the late night meal.
You'd landed at 11pm, and starving, had come to your last resort.
“Is anyone else's pizza wet?” Emily asked, picking up her slice and letting it drip onto her cardboard plate.
You shrugged at the comment, just happy to finally be filling your stomach with something other than coffee for the first time in what felt like forever.
But there seemed to be no rest for the wicked, and you caught Spencer's eye as you tugged the cheese into your mouth.
“Mhmm. So wet.”
There was no reality in which you stopped yourself from choking on your food then, as he kept a quiet smile on his face as the others offered you drinks and tissues.
Perched next to him, you shot him a dirty look out of the corner of your eye and were about to turn back to your meal when he moved again.
Bringing a tissue to your lips, he wiped away the grease from the corners, quietly berating you as he cleaned you like a child.
“So messy. Don't choke on it next time.”
The double entendre didn't go unnoticed, as Derek piled on quickly, not noticing the unsettling mix of deep, bitter embarrassment and utter arousal warring on your features.
“Kid, you don't have to tell the woman to swallow. I'm sure she's perfectly capable.”
Each memory that hit you came with a wave of matching mortification, as you tried to keep every reaction to yourself.
But remembering the feeling of Spencer Reid's cum shooting across your face was something you'd much rather have experienced privately. You stayed trapped into much too intimate eye contact with him anyway as he kept tending to your small spills. He wiped away the drops of grease on your legs, gripping your thigh much tighter than you could ever have possibly needed.
Evidently, your coworkers had found some satisfaction with the pizza, as they all seemed to not notice the tension a simple touch had snapped between the two of you. Using their hunger as a shield, you quickly excused yourself from the table to clean yourself up.
The door to the bathroom was only a step away from the door to the alley, and you quickly let yourself out into the crisp night air. Not even two minutes later, Spencer was with you.
“Y/N?”
“Oh god, it's happening again. I can hear his voice!”
“Y/N, please, come back inside.”
“Sure, if you stop trying to eye fuck me in front of my boss!”
With the words finally out in the open between you, you stood still for a best or two, letting Spencer pick up the slack in the conversation.
“The… The others were talking about going to get some drinks,” he started carefully, afraid you'd spook at any moment. “After pizza?”
“Drinks?”
“Alcohol.”
You gave a short bitter laugh and brushed a hand through your hair as you turned your face away from him.
“I seem to make a lot of mistakes when I'm drunk.”
“Mistakes?” He said. The word was so quietly hurt that you instantly winced, realising your mistake.
“No. No. That's not how I meant it, Spencer, I just…” you grabbed your hair in frustration again, trying desperately to find the words to explain the gaping void where pleasing memories should've been.
“Everyone… everyone is still inside, right? No chance of a surprise visit from anyone.”
“They're debating Hawaiian pizza, I think we have time. Why?”
Another minute passed as you thought through your next actions, leg shaking as you processed every possible emotion.
Lunging toward him, you grabbed a hold of his shirt and pressed up to meet him in a kiss. Responding quickly, his hands gladly claimed a hold of your body as he walked you back against the wall, his mouth furiously engaged with your own in a battle of lust.
“I don't-” you gasped between kisses, unable to get more than a word in as his tongue works his way into your mouth. He pulled away eventually, but only to distract you further with a wandering tongue exploring the plains of skin already on show. Neck, lips, cheeks, collar, nothing is safe from the hear of his tongue tracing up and down the length of you..
“Don't what?” He said, finally finding the willpower to pull back for more than a millisecond.
“I don't remember. Any of it, I can't remember. God, I'm so stupid. Why don't I remember?”
For a second, his tongue kept up its journey, and you moaned as he nipped at the edge of your ear. That was until your words hit his ears and his hands flew up faster than you could've ever pushed them off.
“What?”
“I don't-” panic surged in your voice as you felt it tremble and shake, gulping it down to continue.
“I don't remember anything. And I woke up in your bed, and it felt so good and nice, but I couldn't remember it until you started doing things, and then I remembered… small parts?"
He raked a hand through his hair and took a deep breath as you continued, desperate to get every word out as fast as possible.
“I-I-I, shit Spencer, I woke up feeling so good, and then I saw you there, and I couldn't remember a thing. Do you know how long I was waiting for something to happen? I couldn't even remember one stupid fucking kiss, let alone anything else we did-”
“You seriously don't remember anything.”
“That's what I've been saying.”
He nodded and let out a shaky breath as you stepped closer to him, desperate to explain your predicament.
“You don't… you didn't just regret It and decide to leave?”
“I can't regret something I don't remember.”
Worrying his lip, he looked away for a minute and looked back, and you found yourself creeping closer again until his hands were gripping your hips again as he looked back to you.
“If you could remember, would you regret it?”
In a heartbeat, you had your answer.
“No.”
His lips crashed into yours again, and you gladly moaned into this one. With one hand buried in curls and the other pulling him closer by his loose tie, your hands stayed fastened to his body, clutching him like there was nowhere else you'd rather be.
His hands followed suit, falling down to your thighs as he spread your legs further apart, holding you against the wall and lifting you just slightly, angling your hips together in a way that numbed your senses.
Everywhere you touched left you craving further exploration, to be closer to him, and you whined in his mouth as if to let him know what you so dearly craved.
He listened and gave in, his fingers pushing to the centre of you, mere centimetres away from where you wanted him.
It was as if God was laughing down at your struggle, though, as just as he was about to make contact, a shout of your names rang out around the corner. Just as Penelope rounded into the alleyway, you shoved Spencer away, accidentally flinging him to the ground as you desperately righted yourself again.
“There you two are. What are you doing out here?”
“Earring,” you gasped, praying it was just dark enough for Penelope to not notice that your lipstick and Spencer's lipstick were the same shade.
“I dropped an earring, and Spencer is helping me look for it.”
Slightly confused, Spencer quickly went along with your lie, patting the ground where he'd fallen to look for the imaginary jewellery.
“Okay. Well, we're hopping over to the bar next door, and no! This is not optional, Emily already ordered the first round.”
Without another word or explanation, or anything to really help you figure out what was going on with you and Spencer, the two of you awkwardly followed Penelope into the bar and to your seats.
You stuffed yourself into the seat beside Penelope, and were not at all upset when Spencer climbed into the booth right beside you, sitting shoulder to shoulder with you knees bumping every now and then from the movements.
And just like that, you found yourself drinking for another two hours, unable to process any of the emotions you'd been through in the alley.
Elation. Desperation. Sadness. Arousal. All stuck in your tiny, tiny brain as you tried still to remember any small detail you could about your last encounter.
Your look of concentration didn't go unnoticed.
“Y/N, what's with the pensive look?” Derek shot at you across the table as he finished the last dregs of his beer. “Is it perhaps the melancholy of singleness?”
“That's not a word,” Spencer mumbled into his own drink.
When Penelope joined in, you knew you'd been backed into a corner.
“Are you not seeing someone?” She asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
“There was that guy you mentioned last week, right?” The sound of betrayal came directly from the other side of you, and your head whipped from Penelope to Spencer so fast, you were sure you'd be feeling it in the morning.
“What? What guy, Y/N? You never mentioned a guy to me! Spencer knows, but I don't know. How is that fair?”
“No, Penelope, he's-”
“Spencer, what do you know? What's this guys name? What does he look like? What does he do for a living? When you say she mentioned him last week, was it a mention mention, or just a mention?”
“Penelope, slow down.”
“Well-”
“Spencer! Do NOT answer her.”
“You don't want me to tell her about the guy you wanted something casual with. You said you were around him a lot, so you might as well try it at some point.”
Your face burnt in shame as you narrowed your eyes at him. Had you really said that? Had that honestly been your opener for hitting on the man you'd wanted for the longest time?
“Mhmm, really? And what else did I say?”
“I don't think you'll want me to say-”
“No, please, jog my memory.”
“You said, and I quote, that he had a ‘very rideable face.’ You followed up with, ‘it would look very pretty buried between your legs.’”
The chorus of laughter that rang out only set you more on edge after the flush of memories that hit you once more. He had looked very pretty sat between your legs licking your cunt, lapping up your cum as your legs shook and you fucked yourself against his face. He had simply pressed a hand to your stomach, held you still and kept up the good work. His eyes sparkled with passion and his lips glistened with cum. It was quite the picture, now that you remembered it.
You were just annoyedeniugh, so you had to shoot back a retort. You were just too slow to realise “yes, well, I can recall that I was, in fact correct,” wasn't the right retort.
Another half hour of questioning later, and you'd finally been allowed passage out of the bar, into a taxi, and back to your apartment, alone but for the shame.
Spencer, perpetually sober-ish, had been put on designated driver duty to get others home, and it wasn't as if you could protest.
You threw yourself down onto your bed as soon as you got into your apartment and stayed there until you were about to fall asleep. A knock at your door pulled you back into the world of the woken, and you dragged yourself to the door.
You weren't surprised to see Spencer back at your side an hour after you'd left him. You knew it was a possibility, though you thought you'd be waiting another 12 hours or so.
It took less than 12 seconds for his searching eyes to find whatever silent consent he was looking for before he stretched out and claimed you. He softly cradled you as his lips met you, his gentle touch delicate where his soft lips were hard and insistent. He closed the door. He pushed you back a step at a time until you were out of the doorway. Pausing, he pulled away and took off his glasses, putting them down on the side table, before cupping your cheek and stealing your breath. Again.
You moaned into his kiss, and he slipped his hand down to your neck, gently squeezing as he moved you back towards the bed.
“Spencer…” you begged wordlessly.
“Remember now?”
“N-No.”
He nodded and continued, his other hand loosening his tie once more, as you clung to him like glue, hands not daring to move from the holds you had on his shirt, afraid you'd trip and lose sight of him all over again.
You reached the bed, and he sat you down, tearing his lips away at last, but still choosing to keep hold of your neck, standing above you.
“Are you sober?” He asked, as though he hadn't watched you drink only virgin cocktails all night. You shook your head, yes.
“Good.”
“Are you going to fuck me?” You blurted out, unable to help yourself, even without the liquid courage.
“You wanted the experience, right? And then you forgot all about it, so it's only polite…” His hands began massaging your neck, shoulders, pushing down into your shirt to get the top of your chest, too.
“I don't want the experience,” you said quickly. “Not- not a casual experience, Spencer, I want… I want…” His hands distracted you as your shirt stretched to allow his hands to grope your breasts. He slipped into your bra and began his assault of your chest, still looming above you as he listened to your explanation.
“I… don't want a casual thing, Spencer, I want- I want…” you moaned as he pinched your nipple hard, seething as you attempted to not shout out.
“What do you want, Y/N? Be specific.”
“I want you!” You moaned, chest pushing into his touch, trying to avoid the mixture of pain and pleasure pulsing through you with each flick of his finger.
“For how long?” He asked, and your brain short circuited as you whined and pouted up at him, his fingers still tugging at your nipples, still kneading your skin, and pretending his touch was nothing.
“D-don't.”
“Don't what?”
“Don't make me give this an expiration date.”
Spencer's eyes locked with yours, and you found yourself on your back swiftly after, his lips pressed to yours as he held himself over you. Instead of assaulting your chest again, he was slower, more delicate as he gently removed your shirt, encouraging you to move further up the bed as he planted himself firmly between your two legs.
Everywhere he kissed and licked and sucked was a distraction from his attempts to uncloth you, to make you forget that he was still fully dressed and you were about to be laid out plain as day before him.
You covered your chest when he stole your bra, but you couldn't push your thighs together quick enough when he got your panties, and his hand slipped between your folds before you could even catch a breath.
“Good girl,” he whispered, as his fingers found your clit, dipping into your wet spot before tracing along your bundle of nerves and rocking his fingers back and forth, eyes always on yours.
He dropped his forehead to yours and watched silently as your mouth widened to an ‘O’ as you grew wetter, more desperate, more aroused, until you hit your peak and came apart on his fingertips. He hadn't even put a finger inside you, and your whole body was awash with satisfaction.
Another kiss stolen ended all thoughts of contentment as he slid in a finger into you while slipping his tongue back into your mouth.
If his fingers on your clit had been gentle, probing, curious about your release, the fingers stretching you out were the opposite. He knew your limits, had taken pleasure in your pleasure and now he was testing it, seeing how far he could push you until you did everything once again.
His free hand reached up to your face, and before you knew it, two fingers had been inserted into your mouth. You sucked instinctively, desperate to please him as your hips jumped upwards, trying to ride his hand. But every time you so much as moved, he withdrew slightly, pulling that pleasure you so desperately sought from your grasp.
“Spencer- please-” you said as he pulled his fingers from your mouth.
“I'm not going faster. I want you to remember every second, I want this to last as long as possible, okay? Can you do that?”
You pouted as he stroked your cheek with his wet fingers, gathering the spit from your chin before pushing it right back into your mouth. You kept sucking.
Every time he felt you tighten around him, his fingers withdrew, or they stilled, or he moved in a slightly different way, and you were set adrift again on the tide of arousal. He edged you for what felt like days to your pleasure addled mind, and you kept up your task, too.
“Good girl. No more cumming. Not yet.”
Finally, he withdrew his fingers, your legs shaking from the tension of holding off your pleasure.
He stood and removed his shirt, unbuttoning his pants just enough to free his swollen cock, but not removing it entirely.
The sight of him almost made you weep in relief, so sure that now you were going to be able to cum, that he'd enter you and your get to release around his cock, to suck him in deeper.
Instead, he got on his knees in front of you and gave another sharp order.
“No cumming, remember Princess.” Without waiting for a response, his tongue dragged across your folds, before reaching your clit. His lips wrapped around your nub and your whole body reacted, convulsing inwards as you shouted your pleasure.
“Spencer! Spencer, no, please - please!!” You clawed at the bed as you fucked his face, hips pleading with his tongue to finish the job he'd begun an age ago with his scant fingers.
You desperately wanted your release, but he was equally desperate to frustrate you, pinning your hips and pulling back to just spit on your cunt when your thrusts became erratic, close to the edge.
He touched everywhere except the part where you needed him, content for a moment to listen to the moans turn to tears, turn to anger and frustration and longing as you clawed a hand in his hair and humped his tongue like a beast.
Finally, you came, more than happy to use his tongue like the pillow you'd stuffed between your legs in your horny adolescence.
He wasted no more time entering you, rigid and hot, and more than welcomed by your aching cunt.
He pushed in inch by inch, and the eternity that passed before that point was nothing in comparison to the millenia caught between one breath and the next, between him readying himself, and him thrusting into you in his entirety.
He filled you perfectly, as if you were born to let him take you, to despoil your cunt again and again, until the scent of him never left you.
He moved, pushing your knees up as you welcomed somehow more of him, as he hunched over you and began.
It was animalistic, and noisy, and messy, and fuck, was it hot. The bedsheets were wet already from your water show foreplay session, but with his cock locked inside of you, you couldn't hold back, and you came with a spurt.
You screamed, not expecting your pleasure to squirt out of you, as he fucked you harder, your breaths mingling with the wet, sloppy sounds of your cunt being used again and again and again.
“Spencer, fuck, I'm-”
“You're what? Use your words.”
“I'm… safe, just- Fuck, just fill me up.”
He groaned into your ear as he made his thrusts more and more shallow, slowing down just enough to pull back from you and let you watch him claim you again and again.
He swiped his hair out of his face, biting his lip as his hips rolled into yours, and you swear if you had it left in you, you'd have came on his cock once more watching him do that.
You committed to memory every line of his body, every bruise, every scratch, every line, every hair, everywhere a bullet had nicked him, everywhere on his body that held pain, every gesture on his body that was registering pleasure. You cared less for your own now and more for his as you bucked up into him, meeting him silently as he sucked in a deep breath.
You watched him forget himself inside of you as he tipped his head back in pleasure and, with a small moan, emptied himself inside of you.
His breath crashed back into his body, and you felt every heartbeat resonate through him and into you.
“If you forget this again,” he panted, wrapping his arms around you again. “I'm not waiting another 20 days for a reminder.”
You smiled as his hair tickled Your neck, nuzzling into his neck as you enjoyed his warmth. You tried your best to memorise his scent, too.
“Wake me up bright and early, then,” you smiled, letting your brain settle as you replayed the day back in your head over and over again.
XXX
The inspo:
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(Kim Mingue one fucking chance... one chance Kim Mingue...)
2K notes · View notes
velvetcrimsonkisses · 3 months ago
Text
Riding Toji in the morning...
Note: y'all I put my whole pussy into this... 1.2k words 🗿
Thank you for the help @saintkaylaa @xoxo-dede
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You couldn't help but notice that Toji had morning wood every morning. It was normal right? It happened to every guy. At first, you try not to think much of it, pretending to stay asleep in the morning while he went to the bathroom to take care of it. It’s not like you wouldn’t help him out if he asked, but he never did. He didn’t want to inconvenience you this early in the morning, he thought. 
Until the day you finally built up the courage. You always woke up before him, spending a few minutes admiring the burly, sleepy man beside you. He always slept shirtless and in his boxers, giving you a good view of how his muscles flexed everytime he adjusted himself.  
Damn, he was gorgeous. In the rugged, rough around the edges sort of way. 
You’re so transfixed by his looks that you don’t realize that you're about to fall over his chest until you completely lose balance. You catch yourself before falling completely, your hand landing on his abs. Any normal person would have woken up but not Toji. He was still out like a light. 
Your fingers graze over his abdomen, your eyes fixated on his growing bulge. There it was again, the morning wood. You decide to take this as a challenge, how much teasing could he take in his sleep? Cautiously, you lightly graze your fingertips over where his shaft would be, his cock bobbing in response. Toji’s eyes flutter slightly as his lip twitches and you think you’re fucked. But no… heavy ass sleeper. 
With a little more pressure (and confidence), you press the palm of your hand down flat on his bulge and slowly rub against it. You let out a quiet giggle as you continue to rub his cock, excitement and pride growing in you. You lean towards his face to pepper soft kisses to his temple.
At this point, you’re growing just as wet as he was hard. You wanted him- no needed him to wake up. After a bit more rubbing, you decide to cautiously slip your hand down his boxers. You give his cock a firm squeeze, rubbing your thumb over the tip before looking up at him again. 
Nothing…
Damn, this man can sleep through an earthquake, you think to yourself. You peck his cheek again softly, your hands still teasing his shaft. You place another kiss and another, until you finally land on his lips. You freeze for a moment as his eyes flutter open. Green eyes immediately darting down to your hand. He closes his eyes again, letting out a deep groan.
“Fuck…”
You freeze as you look at him through your eyelashes, watching as he fights sleep. “Shh,” you lull, peppering his cheek with kisses. “Just go back to sleep.” you coo at him. Toji smirks at you, before closing his eyes again. “Someone’s needy,” he teases you. 
You run your finger over his tip again, causing him to groan again. “You know… you were hard in your sleep. I'm doing you a favor,” you reciprocate his teasing. 
“Oh yeah?” he mumbles, adjusting his position and putting an arm behind his head. You nod, your focus going back to stroking his cock. “You know what would help me out even more?” he asks. Curiously you look up at him and see a mischievous smirk on his face.
“What?” you smirk up at him, your hand keeping its pace on his cock. Toji holds back his whine, throwing his head back, “I-if you ride me.” He tries to compose himself, a soft grumble leaving his lips as he speaks. 
Your hand comes to halt, as you make eye contact with him again. Oh you weren’t done teasing him. “You have to say please, handsome,” you speak with a hint of playfulness in your words. Toji gave a quiet gasp as you spoke those words. His cheeks flushed slightly red and you don’t know if it’s from the summer heat or from the way that sweet pet name left your lips. Or maybe you do… 
“C’mon baby… say please,” You continue your mission, your index finger poking at his swollen tip. Toji mutters a curse under his breath before saying the words you wanted to hear. 
“Please… please ride me, woman.” He brings his hand up to his face to try and cover his embarrassment but it was too late. You were already hot and bothered and you planned to do something about it. 
“Good boy,” You purr into his ear with a giggle. Slowly moving to straddle him completely, using his chest to hold you still. Your fingers play with your lacy panties, moving them to the side, exposing your glistening cunt. Toji peeks through his fingers, watching your next move intently. You close your eyes, as you begin to slide down onto his length. 
The feeling of his fat tip, hitting that one sweet spot inside you automatically makes you dumb on his cock. And his girth and thick veins that run up and down the entirety of his shaft weren't helping at all. Toji just couldn’t tear his gaze of you, mouth slightly agape, as he watches his dick disappear in your pussy. 
Large hands come up to your hips before you could even move once. “W-wait…” Toji huffs, his breath shaky as he talks. “Move slow… I could cum right now…” He speaks with a whine, his voice a little lower than usual. 
You move just like he told you, painfully slow. Up and down on his length as Toji watches your every move. You look down at the man under you and fuck was it a sight to behold. Only you could see him like this, needy and whiny. His eyes lock onto yours with an intensity that sends shivers down your spine, the heat in his gaze was filled with unspoken desire for you. 
Both your grunts and moans paired with the sounds of hot skin slapping against each other fills the room. You pick up the pace, riding his cock a little faster as the coil in your stomach flares up. 
So close. And it’s heavily visible on Toji’s face. Short, raven strands of hair stuck to his forehead, his eyebrows quirked together, eyes half lidded focused in on the way your cunt squeezed him. 
His hands grip tighter onto you, holding you in place. His thumb grazes over your clit. Fuck- that was it, just what you needed and even while being fucked out he knew exactly how to give it to you. 
“Fuck, fuck…”  He grunts loudly, reaching his climax. His hips sloppy buck into you, meeting your ragged movements. You finally reach your high, creaming all over his throbbing cock. He curses again, his hands shaking still holding onto you. Hot cum fills you right up as you ride out your orgasm. 
Your limp body collapses onto him. He wraps his arms around your waist, holding you close to him as you both catch your breath. After a moment of silent bliss he finally speaks up with a smirk plastered all over his face. 
“What a morning…” He mutters with a chuckle. 
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 4 months ago
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After last episode I’m thinking what if Aegon tells his wife what happened when he wakes up and she goes ballistic on Aemond because the man she loves was hurt in battle, by his own brother nevertheless. (Maybe she sees the dagger that normally sits in its sheath on Aegons hip)
Request: Aegon returning to King’s Landing after Rook’s Rest. His wife worries about him and stay by his side
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You became sick with worries when you saw Aemond and Vhagar return to King’s Landing, alone.  
He walked into the Red Keep and called for a small council meeting to report about Rook’s Rest. You sat in the seat beside the King’s empty one, listening as Aemond recounted that the plan he and Ser Criston had come up with got crashed by the Blacks, who sent Rhaenys to Lord Staunton's aid. 
‘’What of His Grace?’’ you asked, having seen Aegon depart from the dragonpit hours ago. 
Aemond lowered his gaze, making the knot in your stomach tighten. No war was bloodier than one with dragons. Meleys was a large dragon, and she had battle experience. Mayhaps something happened to Sunfyre? You knew Aegon would refuse to leave his side if anything happened to him. 
‘’There was an incident involving the King,’’ he began. 
You held your breath as Aemond continued. 
‘’While I was waiting for Cole's signal, His Grace engaged in a one-on-one with Meleys, but the latter brutally attacked Sunfyre, causing him — and Aegon — to freefall in a nearby forest with great force before I could take the sky and come to their aid.’’ 
Everyone fell completely silent. 
You felt your vision blur as the room began to spin. Your face paled, and a cup of water was brought to you. You took a small sip, but you were still feeling unwell. 
You should not have let him join the battle. He had no military training, it was reckless. 
‘’Where is Aegon now?’’ the dowager Queen asked her younger son, her voice filled with maternal concern. 
‘’At Rook's Rest,’’ Aemond replied. ‘’Ser Criston and Ser Gwayne are marching back to King’s Landing with what little remains of the Green army. They are bringing his critically injured body.’’
Three days later, Ser Criston’s army arrived at King’s Landing. You had not slept since being informed about Aegon’s fall, your mind filled with worried thoughts and dark fears. Your handmaiden had suggested you take a draught for sleep, but you declined. You couldn’t risk being in a deep sleep when Aegon would come in through the gates. 
While they were parading Meleys's slain head through the city, six knights walked through the Keep, holding their King in a closed litter that hid him completely. He was brought to his chambers where several maester began working on him. 
‘’Is he alive?’’ you asked, trying to get information on your husband's state. 
The maesters couldn't answer, feeling a pulse so faint they didn't want to give you false hopes. You were escorted out as they worked on removing the armor which had melted onto Aegon's left arm. The image was not one a Queen should see, they said. 
You found yourself at Alicent's doors, needing someone to share your fears and worries with. She invited you to sit on her couch and had camomile tea brought to you to calm your nerves. You had not been this anxious since the birth of your first child. 
Noticing your shaking hands, the dowager Queen took the one who was not holding the teacup in hers. ‘’He’s strong, like his father,’’ she said softly. ‘’He’ll recover.’’ 
Late into the night, you were allowed back in the King’s chambers. Aegon had not yet woken, laying in the bed with his eyes closed. Half of his body was wrapped in bandages, covering the burns. 
All he wanted was to prove the realm that he wasn't useless. And now, he laid in bed, badly burned with a broken hip, and numerous broken ribs.
You sat all night by Aegon's bedside, refusing to leave him.
‘’You should get some rest, Your Grace,’’ the Grand Maester suggested when he came in to check on Aegon in the morning, noticing you were still in yesterday’s dress. 
He was probably right. Your eyes felt dry from lack of sleep and the shadows under them were dark. 
‘’I will rest when he wakes,’’ you replied. 
A tear fell down your face when Aegon woke days later, mumbling your name with his dry throat. He was in severe pain from his injuries, so the Grand Maester administered him a strong concoction of milk of the poppy to sooth his pain. It made his mind cloudy, and very sleepy. 
That night, you allowed yourself to sleep in a bed. 
For the duration of his recovery, you were moved to Aegon's old chambers. 
They had not been occupied since the coronation. When you walked in, you noticed everything was the way it always was, the way Aegon liked. 
It felt strange to be there without him. 
As you sat on the bed in your nightgown, you were reminded of life before he was crowned. Times were simpler back then. The realm was at peace and Aegon didn't have to put himself in danger to prove he was worthy of the crown. 
You missed that time. 
While Aegon was bedstruck, you took seat on the Iron Throne to rule in his absence. He trusted you with his life, and would want no one else than you to wear his crown. His mother and grandsire ruled in his father's absence through his long illness and manipulated everything and everyone around them. Aegon didn't want that happening to him. 
Although you didn’t know how to rule a war, you listened to the men sitting at the small council table, seeking their opinions and counsel. Now you understood why Aegon said they all bore him. Sitting there and listening to Lord Larys’s report of whispers, Lord Tyland’s financial complaints, and other reports that came by ravens made you want to indulge in wine. 
‘’What is the next move, Your Grace? Our men have recovered from the battle at Rook’s Rest and are ready for the next move. More men have been trained and knighted, and are waiting for the next commands.’’ 
You glanced at the map to your left, studying the pins of the houses who had bent the knee to Aegon and the ones who had not, trying to come up with a strategy, but before you could answer, Aemond spoke. 
‘’The Riverlands. Me and Cole will be heading north-west and amassing an army to march against Daemon Targaryen and Harrenhal.’’
You directed your eyes back to the table, looking straight forward at Aemond. ‘’Since when are you in charge of leading our armies, Prince Aemond? The last time you and Ser Criston plotted without my husband’s authority, it ended in a carnage of our army and put our King in a critical condition. I reject your strategy and forbid you from plotting without my authority by risk of being removed from this council.’’
After the small council meeting was over, you returned to Aegon’s side and were surprised to find him awake. He had been given him a gentle sponge bath by the maids while you were absent, his silver hair damp on his pillow. You also noticed that the maester had changed his bandages. 
‘’Where is Sunfyre?’’ Aegon asked when you sat, speaking coherently for the first time in weeks. 
‘’Near Rook’s Rest,’’ you replied. ‘’He was so badly maimed that he's not even able to be moved back to King's Landing. Ser Criston stationed men near to guard him while he is recovering. You need not to worry, my love.’’ 
You took his hand that was not strapped and resting against his chest in yours, trying to ease his worries. He hated being apart from Sunfyre, especially knowing his dragon was injured and in pain. Aegon vividly remembered his cries of pain when they were attacked by Meleys’ claws and teeth. He wished he could go to him. 
‘’My memory is blurry, but he saved me. When we crashed down backward, Sunfyre was going to kill me with his weight, but he angled his body to avoid crushing me.’’ 
Aegon tried to shift into a more sitting position, but groaned as pain shot through his whole body. His burns were healing nicely under the bandages, but his broken hip and ribs were going to take a lot longer. 
You reached on the night table and poured him a small cup of milk of the poppy. ‘’Here.’’ 
It would make him sleepy, but at least it’ll relieve his pain. 
Until the effects kicked in, you informed him of what happened while he was unconscious. 
‘’The crown must look great on you,’’ Aegon said, the corner of his mouth curling in a small smile. 
Any form of facial expression caused his tender, burned skin to sting, so he refrained from them most of the time. 
You huffed, remembering the words of the men at the council when you sat in the King’s seat. ‘’Your council is not happy with me ruling in your stead. They claim that a war should not be led by a woman and that it makes the war look ridiculous as it began with not wanting a woman on the throne. 
‘’Whoever dares question your seat and ability to rule should be removed from my council.’’ Aegon's face was dead serious. No ill tongues will be tolerated speaking about his wife. Not in his court, and certainly not from his council.
Unfortunately, you could not do that. What would the small council become without a Master of Coins or a Master of Law?
You continued with other news. ‘’The beast who is responsible for your fall got taken down by Aemond. His rider, Rhaenys Targaryen, perished with her. Now, the Blacks are down from another dragon. It’s a victory for us, but our army suffered severe losses due to dragonfire.’’ 
At the mention of dragonfire, flashes of the battle blurred Aegon’s mind. ‘’What has my brother told the council?’’ 
You recounted what Aemond said, and Aegon’s frown deepened as his memories became clearer. 
His grip on your hand tightened. ‘’It is not what happened at Rook’s Rest. You must listen to me. It is not Rhaenys who aimed at me with dragonfire, it was Aemond.’’
Aegon’s words echoed in your head as you bathed that night. Had he confessed about his brother’s betrayal to someone else, they would say he was delirious and confused from the milk of the poppy, but you knew he was not. He was perfectly conscious, his memories from Rook’s Rest slowly coming back to him. 
From what you knew, Aemond never showed signs of bad intentions toward his brother. As Aegon often said, Aemond was his blood and fiercely loyal. He trusted him. So why would Aemond turn on him during a battle and unleash dragonfire at Aegon? There must be a motive for him to intentionally harm his kin, his brother. 
It was difficult to discern any emotions from Aemond. He was always composed and cold. Mayhaps his facade hid jealousy for his older brother? It was frequent among second sons. Although, Aegon never was the favorite son. It was always Aemond. 
Until teh Conqueror’s crown was placed on his head. Mayhaps he had a secret thirst for the throne? It would explain his military ambitions and his desire for a place at the council table. The best way to kill a King is to get close enough to stab him when he least expects it.
You sighed and leaned back in the tub, closing your eyes as your body was covered by the warm water. The memory of Aegon's pained expression as he recounted his brother's betrayal — a treason to the crown — haunted you. 
‘’He is my blood,’’ Aegon had whispered, his voice trembling. ‘’Why would he do this?’’
In the early morning, you requested a private audience with Aemond. 
‘’I wish to know what really happened at Rook’s Rest,’’ you said firmly. ‘’As your Queen.’’ 
Aemond stood in front of you, clad in his usual leathers and an emotionless face. ‘’I gave my full report to the small council when I returned from King’s Landing. Nothing else is to be said.’’ 
You pressed on, your voice unwavering. ‘’It was told to the smallfolk Aegon had slain Meleys, which is false as you have told us it was Vhagar who killed her. This discrepancy makes me question if there are more lies woven into your truth. You reported that Meleys had brutally attacked Sunfyre with her claws and teeth but you never mentioned dragonfire. Yet burns cover half of His Grace’s body.’’
If Aemond felt any hint of nervousness at your probing, he did not show it.
‘’Are you questioning my truth, Your Grace?’’ he asked, his tone cold.
You knew that saying ‘yes’ would turn your question into an accusation of treason. By suggesting that he had harmed the King, Aemond could easily twist the accusation back on you. And what proof did you have? Your husband, who lay crippled in bed, dulled by milk of the poppy for most of the day? His moments of lucidity would not be believed by anyone.
Perhaps you could ask Ser Criston or Ser Gwayne what they had witnessed. Or bring the matter to the dowager Queen; she might decipher her son's body language better than you could.
Your thoughts were interrupted when something familiar caught your eye.
‘’This is Aegon’s dagger,’’ you pointed, recognizing the handle sitting on Aemond’s hip.
‘’Indeed. He lost it during the battle at Rook’s Rest. I retrieved it from the forest,’’ Aemond replied.
‘’And why is it sitting on your hip, Prince Aemond? The Conqueror’s dagger has been given to him during the coronation, along with his crown. It should be in His Grace’s chambers, where it belongs.’’
Aemond's eyes narrowed slightly, but his expression remained unreadable. ‘’I kept it safe, as any loyal brother would. Would you rather it had been lost forever?’’
You met his gaze, unflinching. ‘’Give it back to me.’’ 
Aemond stiffened at your words, his jaw clenching. He placed a hand on the hilt of the dagger, a defensive gesture that he couldn’t help but do. ‘’And if I refuse?’’ 
Your heart beat faster at Aemond's defiance, but you refused to back down. Taking a step forward, you locked eyes with him, your gaze steely ‘’Do not defy your queen. This is not a request, it's a command. The dagger belongs to Aegon. Give it to me, now!’’
Aemond hesitated for a moment, his fingers still gripping tightly to the dagger’s hilt. But your stern demeanor and unwavering command made it clear that there was no alternative. 
With reluctance, he pulled the dagger from his hip and held it out to you, handle first. 
You took the dagger from Aemond, your fingers grazing against his as you did so. ‘’I suggest you kiss goodbye to that dream of yours, my Prince. I know what you are. And when Aegon is strong enough to speak his truth, you will pay for what you did.’’
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