#comically large wife btw

[the-autism]

orion pax being a manlet despite being a grown ass adult will never not be the funniest shit ever to me

boy why are you tiny

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Makes me think of the grave of Josef Čapek in Prague

[This would be the resting place of

Josef Čapek

painter and poet

23. March 1887 ✝ a far-away grave April 1945]

I remember seeing the grave the time we visited and it made me want to cry so bad

Henry dies so far away from home, overseas in Ireland. He's going to be buried there too, after all it would be too much work to transport the body back to Geneva to give it a burial there.

Before Victor leaves he'll bring some flowers, sit beside his beloved friend's grave and weep. He'll stay there until night breaks, trying to be close to his friend one last time. He knows he will never come back here again.

After that, barely anyone visits Henry's grave anymore. Maybe Mr. Kirwin will pay a visit or the fishermen who found his body or maybe an old lady feeling pity for the forgotten dead.

But in the end he was a stranger to this town, a tragedy people will try to forget. Nobody likes to remember the corpse of a stranger found on the shore. But maybe they'll think of him from time to time, feeling sorry for a life cut so short. His grave will be covered in moss and grass, taken back by the nature he loved when he was alive.

Back home there will be no grave. It’s as if he just left. Gone on an adventure somewhere far away. Everyone knows he's dead but they never saw a body, never saw a grave. Maybe it feels sometimes as if he'd just walk through the door of his home, just as he used to when he still lived.

[demvalhaken]

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! Just some super cool arts

If I EVER had the patience to write and draw the Catecis comic, it’d look like this

This is just a grasshopper sailor out on the Waspian port

I was thinking about naming him Sir. Irian like the Iris flower. The thing is I have to differentiate him from Iris, a male monarch Butterfly across the entire world. Or Sir. Astroway as his last name is Astroway due to his sailor family using stars as a way to travel.

About my long break: Look guys, I haven’t been doing well mentally. I am in a depressive state, I am sleep deprived, I am done with life. To draw so much and pour your time and skill into an artwork only for a few likes can be frustrating. I don’t post my art for fame or love, I do it to share my ocs and ideas, I don’t want the masses to flock, I just want recognition for my work. I didn’t really mean to take a break, I get distracted very easily and forget to post. I wish I could post more but art takes time, I have to develop ideas and passion due to my constant art block and burnout. The only good thing in my life is just being alive. There is a large scar on my neck because I gave myself a friction burn with my lanyard at school due to anxiety :( I have mental problems, whatever I have, it isn’t good and will probably slowly deteriorate me to a depressive glob of my former self, but I will never get diagnosed. My family is constantly angry at me for no reason, I get that my clean obsessed behaviour can get annoying especially when I panic and get water everywhere, but I hate to be yelled at for something that I cannot control or fix. They say I am overreacting and will got over it, but I’ve tried, there is no fixing this. That’s why I’ll probably never ever get a diagnosis or therapy session. I lied, I am actually not as okay as I say I am. If I ever don’t post for a period time, please know that it’s either from lack of art or mental issues. I am sorry for not posting in awhile as my usual breaks take a time of 3 days or 2. I am deeply sorry.

Bevel, Snow, and Berry.

I drew these in my math book, very classic place to doodle, I know. There’s not a lot of doodles in my book though, I am usually trying to do equations and get an 100 on my test

I finally got a haircut, though my hair is now a short messy thing, I feel quite confident even if I don’t fully look masculine. My arm hair should be quite an indicator and the trans pin inside my backpack, haha! That pin was made by a friend of mine, don’t worry he’s very fruity and slay. Idk if it’s just my senses but my hairdresser was definitely an ally, he slayed, my hair is hairing. Also I have giant eyebags and a cowlick, like I literally have Dem’s cowlick.

Here’s some more little oc ideas. Eclipse is my first transfem oc, I know I know I’m slaying. She’s has a twin sister, Luna! Yes, Eclipse and Luna are Hornet twins, from the same egg btw. I still don’t know how it works, I’m too tired to research though. Arctic and Viper are a married couple, I like to think Arctic is just a lesbian and her/his wife is a crazy queen with schizophrenia who totally didn’t kill her family. They’re both from Bloodlust’s time period, though a little older.

I don’t want to talk about it… This is really gross but because Snow’s family wanted to keep the bloodline “pure” she’s SHORT and albino but like literally no one else in her family is albino… poor Snow… GUYS DONT MARRY YOUR SIBLINGS AND COUSINS… Bevel transmasc headcannon, I’m not making it cannon yet because Bevel is a lesbian.

Layze, Funkyfrogbait, and Bevel with one tooth

@purpledemonss asked for this minus Bevel, that was my idea

OKAY I LOVE YOU GUYS SM, EAT THIS UP, STAY A MENACE TO SOCIETY JUST DONT EAT LEATHER UNLESS YOU ARE DEATHLY STARVED

[girlvinland]

This is a post I don't really feel good about writing, but at the same time, it's something I feel like I keep wanting to vent about and that I don't really...have enough places to vent about. I have my therapist, but I feel like even then, I can't unload it all on her bc I feel like I never have enough time even if it comes up here and there. Unloading it on other people who aren't her typically leads to them going on the defensive about the things I want to talk about, even when I try to be gentle or more objective in discussing it. I feel like here is one of the places I usually feel okay talking (even though I know that's probably stupid in some ways), but idk. It's comfortable because it's familiar and bc my words aren’t being directed at any one person. Sorry this is really long, btw.

I feel like I've talked about sexuality so much the past year or so, and I feel like I've taken so long, like...longer than a lot of people...to fully unravel things about myself. My teens were reserved for me barely scratching the surface of anything bc I was petrified of it and had zero exposure to anything that would have helped me in any way. My twenties were like, the first stage of my actual exploration and unfurling, where I was like...wait...this is a viable option? Other people are like this...I'm meeting people who understand. Does that mean I could let myself have that option too? But I still went on like no...no. I'm basically meant to live someone else's life and not seek out any further answers. The past five years I did seek out more answers and really did a lot of work, and that's like...still quite a long time to sort through some of this (or at least, it feels that way).

All of that is just history now though, so it’s not actually what I want to discuss. The thing that I don't feel good about is how my emotions have felt wrt everything currently. I've started to feel like such a bitter person for it, but I don't know if, in some way, the things I feel are justified after years of trying to understand my relationship to the world at large and how my sexuality relates to it. I want to believe that they are and that I'm just at a stage where I can experience these emotions fully in ways I haven’t before and that eventually they'll start to mellow out.

For instance, the past couple of years I've started to become somewhat like…irrationally irritated when it comes to hearing about boyfriends/husbands/etc of my friends who are cis women. Sometimes in general, but mostly when it's in the context of someone complaining about their partner in a day-to-day sort of way. The normalization of that in a heteronormative society has started to become something I just…really dislike hearing about. After going through my own “straight-passing” relationships (idk if this term is ok to use and I’ll change it if not), I almost feel like I just don't have the time or care for it anymore, even when I want to be supportive. Also, it’s hard for me to not apply my own experiences and biases, and a part of me always ends up wanting to be like. If you aren't happy, please try and do something to fix it. Converse with your partner about it. Leave if it's bad enough that you can't deal with it anymore. Get a therapist for yourself or both of you to work things out. Idk. It feels unfair for me to be like that when family or friends want to vent, but I also find it so hard to deal with now or like, it sends my brain to the boomer comic “I hate my wife but I’m just going to complain and not doing anything to change it” realm (and I understand that a lot of times, it is the partner who has little interest in changing things even when the other person is trying, which is even more frustrating to some extent).

The other thing I feel guilty about is this disdain I've developed of hearing about cis male celebrities/characters/crushes in more heterosexual regards (I want to specify that this doesn’t mean I actively dislike the celebs or characters or anything like that, not usually anyway. There are a ton of male chars I enjoy and everything, and tbh idc that much about celebrities in general). I feel like for the past few years I've been going through a period where I'm so tired of being exposed to it though (even with my own chars being sexualized by other ppl tbh) and all I want to do is to engage in media/culture that somehow dismantles anything cisheteronormative or that focuses on couples that aren’t cis/straight (I’ve esp sought out so much more wlw-adjacent media in recent years bc I’ve found myself connecting to it in a way that’s like…holy shit I want to make up for years of things I didn’t have access to or didn’t know existed).

Unfortunately, sometimes I feel like talking about that more often leads to a level of anger or annoyance on the part of people who don't feel that way, even though there is so much less media and discussion about those things in general. A lot of this is more relevant to irl straight friends I have and stuff, where it's fine for them to talk about all of the things they like when it relates to men or romance centered around men, but I don't necessarily have the same ability/level of acceptance from them to discuss media focused on anything else wrt romance/sexuality. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of queer friends and whatnot, but most of them live elsewhere now (I also live elsewhere from many of them) and in general, the majority of people I'm exposed to in regular life are usually straight bc statistically that's just how it is and everything. It frustrates me though how it feels so acceptable for them to talk about whatever male celebrity/char or straight romance thing is popular, but I just kind of have to stand there and nod while wishing I could talk about the stuff I like too when it comes to like, wlw/lesbian media or whatever. That sounds selfish, but I feel like it reflects society’s general view on anything queer, and I think that’s why it gets to me more. Like maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much if that wasn’t the default/if I could speak about things as freely too. I know a lot of people feel that way, I don’t mean to make that or any of this post sound like some experience that is unique to me.

Anyway. I'm sorry if this vent comes off as weird or abrasive at all. It's really, really not my intention, nor is it directed at any one person or relationship and is more just a reflection on how my emotions are now when I think about cisheternormative society and that kind of thing. In the past I was able to kind of...blind myself to a lot of it, I think, or at least be more jokey about it in the times when it did annoy me. And after the years of working to distance myself from it, these aspects of it have started to seem really pervasive, even more so than I felt they were before. Like I said, I don't feel good about feeling these things and I don't want to always feel them. I hope I can work through them and get to a place where they don't bother me, or at least, not as much as now. I truly think it's a situation of like…breaking free of my own binds/feeling this freedom now and seeing things in a different light than I was able to before when I had the blinders on, and maybe once I settle into myself more, I’ll be able to shake those emotions off or find better ways to cope with them. I feel like a lot of this is stuff that’s always existed and always will, and the ways in which society operates are very hard to change, but I can kind of adapt the way I see and experience things so that they’re healthier for me. I’m just. Still in the early stages of doing that, and maybe it will take a little time to understand how to make it more productive/easier for myself. I didn’t get to this place overnight, and I’m sure I have a lot more to learn on this particular journey.

[tehuti88-art]

6/9/23: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Magdalena "Magda" Jäger. She's the wife of THIS GUY; the two of them are devoted to each other and have a slew of kids. Also, they're both fanatics, though this isn't revealed until late in the story in a tragic way. There'll be more about her later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding her design, like her husband she's leucistic, not albino. You see I also have issues with braids.

TUMBLR EDIT: Magda Jäger isn't a major character, she mostly provides a sort of comic relief in interactions with Capt. Otto Himmel. A sort of running joke is that she's pregnant throughout pretty much the entire series; by the storyline's end she has nine kids, with a tenth on the way. Result is she's almost constantly hormonal, and her behavior alternates between being sweet and motherly, flying into rages over affairs she imagines her husband's engaging in, weeping her eyes out apologizing to him, then wanting immediately to drag him off to bed with her. Himmel's frequently on the receiving end of her erratic moods, and he finds her rather terrifying, though the large brood of Jäger children adore "Uncle Otto" and swarm him for candy whenever he visits his boss Maj. Ludolf Jäger. (Himmel always acts annoyed by the attention, though he loves the Jäger children right back--having always wanted a big family of his own--and always has plenty of candies in his pockets for them to pick.)

Magda is almost slavishly devoted to "her Teutonic Knight" Jäger (despite being certain half the time that he's cheating on her with all of the young pretty secretaries in his employ) (he really isn't, BTW), viewing him as having rescued her from a potentially unhappy life. She'd go to the ends of the earth for him, and rather sadly, that's about what she ends up doing. I used to believe their marriage was more transactional than romantic--Jäger had definite motivations when choosing her for his bride, and Magda had her reasons for saying yes--though I'm sure by now that they genuinely do love each other. It just ends up being an unfortunately fanatical love: Jäger gradually but effectively radicalizes the formerly pretty neutral Magda, molding her into his image of the ideal Aryan wife, and the same ends up happening to her eldest daughter Leopoldine. So they might be sickly sweet and cutesy at times, but there's a lot of darkness simmering beneath the surface of the Jäger family.

When probably in her late teens, Magda has a brief fling with a handsome SS officer--she doesn't really care what the SS stands for, she just finds them dashing, like modern-day knights--and ends up pregnant. The officer isn't interested in marriage, and Magda can't afford to raise a child on her own, no matter how much she might want to. She takes the only route open to her and approaches a Lebensborn maternity facility. Lebensborn, organized by the SS to help boost the nation's faltering birth rate, operates homes for SS wives as well as unwed mothers-to-be of children deemed to be of sufficiently Aryan heritage. Here, pregnant women who might otherwise be shunned are welcomed and well cared for, their every need seen to to ensure their health and that of their babies. There's healthy eating, healthy living, healthy exercise; no drugs utilized during the birth process, which is intended to be natural; and then, of course, for the unwed mothers like Magda, the baby is put up for adoption to a childless SS family. Magda is saddened by this, but has no other options; she can't make it as a single mother, and it's unlikely anyone would want to marry her. She informs Lebensborn of the pedigree of her child's father, and to her relief, when questioned he confirms his relationship; Lebensborn takes Magda in, sets her up in a nice room, gives her a nice bed. She passes her pregnancy in relative peace and comfort among the other expectant mothers, and she can't really complain, though she does often look wistfully after the SS wives when their husbands arrive to take them home, and wishes that such an ideal life awaited her, too.

One day, it's so warm she decides to go sit out in the garden and take in the sunshine; after a time it gets to be a bit much, and she moves to get up from the bench--somewhat awkward, with her large belly--before a shadow falls over her, making her gasp. Looking up, all she can see at first is the silhouette of a man in uniform; he tilts his head a bit and she gets a better look at him. It's an SS officer with the collar tabs of a captain; he smiles at her, and offers his elbow. Magda mutely takes hold and he helps her to her feet. He carries a sword, just like a knight. He has the kindest, bluest eyes she's ever seen. "Walk with me...?" he offers, and Magda accepts. She would accept literally anything he asked, as she instantly falls head over heels in love. Magda has just met Ludolf Jäger, her future husband.

The two of them get to know each other over the next few visits, taking walks arm-in-arm around the Lebensborn property. Magda can't believe her luck: Jäger is tall, handsome, genteel, and he's chosen HER to lavish his attention upon. He finally asks her one day what it is that she desires the most out of life and she admits that she wishes she could keep her baby and start a family, it just unfortunately isn't in the cards for her. Jäger seems intrigued by her answer--is it true, she wants a big family? When she confirms it, he clasps her hands, looks her intently in the eyes, and says well then, let's do it, we can start a family together--he the husband, she the wife, and all the children they'll have--for the Reich. Magda doesn't care about the Reich that much yet--here's this handsome man asking for her hand despite her circumstances, and promising to offer her everything she's ever wanted. She leaps at the chance and tells him yes, yes, yes!...then sheepishly asks him what is his name again, because she forgot. After he leaves, she repeats the name "Ludolf" to herself dreamily. Such a noble name for such a noble man. She can hardly wait for her child to be born, so she can leave this place and start her new life as an SS bride. Her very own knight has come to sweep her away. A dream come true!

As planned, Magda gives birth at the maternity home--no painkillers, no anything but a natural birth just as Gott intended, that's the Lebensborn way--but the agony is worth it, for the life it promises her, in more than one way. She names her new daughter Leopoldine, and she's just the most perfect baby ever. Despite this, Magda awaits Jäger's arrival rather anxiously, afraid he might be disappointed that she didn't bear a son. When the squirming Leopoldine is placed in his arms, however, Magda can tell her fears were unfounded; Jäger smiles at the infant and murmurs adoringly, "My perfect little Prinzessin Leopoldine." He promptly adopts the girl as his own when he and Magda are wed, a lovely SS ceremony with swords and daggers and occult symbols and reading excerpts of Mein Kampf and all that weirdness, and then bundles the two into his open-top car and whisks them away into the mountains, off to his vacation home. The word "cabin" or "cottage" doesn't do it justice; it's nearly a chateau, with a large help staff on hand to cater to Magda's every whim, and so many rooms she could get lost in them. Jäger points out the amenities and curiosities as they stroll the halls and the grounds. Magda feels like a lady with her knight as she marvels at it all, hardly able to believe it isn't a dream, yet Jäger assures her it's real, and it's their life now. In addition to the mountain home he keeps a lavish apartment suite in the city--nowhere near as big as the mansion, but still impressive--and so when he returns to his job as an administrative official in the Allgemeine-SS, she can remain here, or she can accompany him, and she'll have maids and servants and nannies to help her there as well. Whatever she wants or needs is hers, all she has to do is ask.

Magda finally asks what's been lurking in the back of her mind: Why all this? Why her? Why is he offering her all this kindness? Jäger replies that she offers him just as much in return, as they both desire basically the same thing: A family, a large beautiful Aryan family, for the good of the Reich. When Magda admits she doesn't know a whole lot about the National Socialists and all they stand for, Jäger tells her not to worry--he'll teach her. He'll be her perfect Nazi husband and she'll be his perfect Nazi wife, and they'll raise Leopoldine and any other children they may have--hopefully plenty--in the Nazi ways, and bring glory and honor to the Fatherland. Magda has no problem with any of this, just that it's all a bit overwhelming for her; and it still doesn't quite answer her question: "But...why me, in particular? A woman with a child who isn't even yours...when someone like you could've had anyone, anyone at all...?" Jäger clasps Magda's hands and again looks her intently in the eyes.

Jäger: "Do you believe in Schicksal? Fate...destiny...life's purpose?"

Magda: "I'm...not sure. I've never thought about it."

Jäger: "Just looking in your eyes, I believe you do. You've thought about it many times, your entire life."

Magda: "I have?"

Jäger: "You have. Just without knowing what it was called, but you've always believed in it, always yearned for it. When you said you always wanted to be a mother, you recall?"

Magda: "Ja."

Jäger: "And fate, Gott, the universe, heard you and granted it. Maybe not the way you planned. But it worked out, ja?"

Magda: "Ja."

Jäger: "You're here now, with me, ja?"

Magda: (excited) "Ja!"

Jäger: "Fate always works out the way it should. Even if you don't understand why, it becomes clear in time. What it intends for you. Your purpose. When I saw you that day. Sitting in the sun. The light shining down on you, all golden. Motherhood and beauty and life. I hadn't known yet but I knew then, that was what I wanted. You were who I wanted. Seemingly imperfect, yet able to be made perfect. The same as our broken society. A scarred, crumbled Fatherland rising into a golden and glorious Reich. An abandoned, unwanted woman rising into golden and glorious motherhood. That other man has no idea what he's left behind, what he's given up. But I do. The seeds to start the perfect family on the way to a perfect society and then a perfect world. If only everyone could be as fortunate as we are, and find our life's purpose so easily, and pick up and build on from there, ja...?"

Magda: (wide eyed, murmuring) "Ja."

What Jäger doesn't say aloud: He's an expert judge of character, and a master manipulator. He could tell just from looking in Magda's eyes that first day at Lebensborn what sort of person she is: Idealistic, desperate to please, lonely, and naive. Especially naive. He sees a lump of clay he can mold to be whatever he wishes, and he won't even have to force or coerce her, since that's not his style, coercion is for unintelligent brutes, which Jäger is not. Jäger is intelligent, charismatic, sly; why use force when all you have to do is persuade someone of what they've wanted all along? Magda's worldview requires a few tweaks, a little pruning and cultivation here and there, yet for the most part she's ready-made to suit his purposes. He does sincerely believe in fate--it was purely by fate that he ran across her at Lebensborn that day. Yet even fate needs an active hand now and then, and that's his job. As he answers Magda's question, he sees the look in her eyes, those blue, beautiful but vapidly gullible eyes, shift--just slightly--as her own version of understanding starts to dawn. Magda is really rather stupid. She'll believe whatever anyone else tells her. Jäger will not only make her smarter, but he'll make sure he's the one she chooses to believe. And judging by the look in her eyes, they're both well on their way to that goal.

Magda, as emptyheaded and malleable as she is at first, is no innocent in this scenario: Despite her lofty dreams of knights and ladies, at the very heart of it all is her own desire for self-preservation. Jäger is her meal ticket, and Leopoldine's as well. He takes her teenage mistake and turns it into all her wildest dreams granted--all she has to do is give him a family. She's never had particularly grand aspirations--being a housewife was basically it. So Jäger doesn't even have to convince her to change her mind about her goal. Rather, he places it in a new and different light, making it not selfish but selfless, not just about her and her daughter's needs but about the greater good, as well. And the more Magda hears, the more she likes, because the more opportunities she sees. She doesn't have to settle for being JUST a housewife. Jäger suggests that she can be the catalyst of an entire movement, the mother of her own grand destiny. Granted, he'll be there right beside her, guiding her at first...but it's a much more appealing outcome than the one she'd originally envisioned at Lebensborn. She isn't just a dumped unwed mother with a bastard kid to feed. She's a mother and a wife, she's life, she's the start of something glorious and wonderful. Jäger plants the ideas in her mind and they quickly take root. She didn't know or even really care about all this before. But he frames it all in just the right way to cover everything Magda's ever feared or hoped for. She has her own goals, but Jäger skillfully weaves them in with his so they become the same. He starts to lay out his plans for them both, for Leopoldine and the unborn children they plan to have, and Magda listens closely, an eager participant.

The marriage starts out as transactional--both of them are getting out of it something that they want and need. Both Magda and Jäger are using each other--and they know it. Magda proves to be such a willing and apt student, however--and Jäger such a cunning mentor--that a transactional marriage soon shifts into a devoted partnership. Magda quickly jumps into the role of housewife and mother and it isn't long at all before Leopoldine gains a new baby sister, Lisbeth. Magda again worries Jäger will be disappointed to have a daughter but he adores "Meine kleinen Prinzessinnen!" and showers them with affection. Over the years, seven more children follow--daughter Liesl, son and daughter Lars and Lara (twins--an unexpected but welcome prize), son Lothar, daughters Lilli and Lotti (more twins), and final daughter Liane, before Magda becomes pregnant a tenth time. She earns herself a golden Mother's Cross which she displays proudly, on the proper occasions, of course.

This isn't to say that these are the only children Jäger's fathered. While Magda is pregnant with Lisbeth he tells her about his life before they met. He served briefly in the Waffen-SS before an injury forced him to seek a transfer to a non-combat position; he decided to transfer to the Allgemeine-SS. While recovering and waiting for all the details to be sorted out, a comrade suggested that he volunteer his services to Lebensborn. Now...Lebensborn not only runs maternity homes, but also a network of large, well-furnished country estates which are well known but not spoken of publicly very much. These homes periodically host mixed gatherings of single women and SS men, each of whom has been vetted for appropriate Aryan-ness as well as good health, mentality, and physical makeup; at the gatherings, the men and women mingle, chat, play games, relax, walk the grounds, and get to know each other--on a semi-anonymous, first-name basis only--before the host gathers them all together again, has the men stand in a row, and the women pick which man they find most appealing. This pair is to spend the next several days--and nights--together, in the hopes that a pregnancy will ensue--the entire thing is scheduled around the women's menstrual cycles to ensure maximum effectiveness. After this period the men go on their way while the women remain in touch with Lebensborn doctors, checking for signs of pregnancy; those who succeed go into the maternity homes to await the birth, after which the child is given up for adoption, while those who don't--and those few men who aren't selected the first time around--return to the country estates as soon as they're eligible again. In essence, Lebensborn runs a specialized stud service making use of unmarried women and SS men, and it's considered a good, albeit morally ambiguous, way to boost the German birth rate. SS officers who haven't yet settled down and started families are in high demand for this service--indeed, at such gatherings the women often outnumber the men--and are believed to be performing a noble and necessary job for the Third Reich. As he wasn't yet able to resume work, and was single and athletically fit, Jäger was a prime candidate for Lebensborn after leaving the Waffen-SS, and although even he had to mull it over a bit first ("I must confess, no matter how noble the cause, it all sounded a little...odd"), he decided he would give it a shot, for the Fatherland. Before he was accepted into the Allgemeine-SS and was able to return to work, Jäger surmises he fathered at least a handful of other children whose names and fates he doesn't know, as the fathers are never allowed contact. Magda has mixed feelings about all this--it's strange to think of half-siblings of her own children out there somewhere--yet this is just a part of life now, and rather than feel jealous, she decides it's a better use of her time to fill the role those anonymous women once did. The SS prefers traditional families, after all, and now that Jäger's found her, he has no more need of Lebensborn, same as her.

As it becomes clear Magda's 100% on board with Jäger's plans for her, he privately lets her in on some further details which are for her alone. A large part of his administrative job in the Allgemeine-SS (where he's since been promoted to major) involves approving--or not approving--financing for a medical project, Weltuntergang, being run by one Dr. Kammler. Capt. Himmel oversees the project and reports back to Jäger regarding his progress or lack thereof. (None of them are aware that Himmel, resentful that Kammler tried to have him killed and forced his son Kolten into the project, is actively sabotaging it from the inside, occasionally with Kolten's help.) Although Weltuntergang has dealt with a disappointing lack of speedy progress, it's managed to succeed at its initial goal: To create a sort of "Übersoldat," or supersoldier, to ensure the success of the Reich on the frontlines. The experimental serum works...just on an extremely limited, and thus ineffectual, basis. Kammler (due to Himmel's intervention) hasn't had luck tweaking the serum to work for more blood types...so Jäger has decided to go behind Kammler's back and seek alternate means of perfecting the serum. He's enlisted the aid of SS doctors who've been working on the formula separately from Kammler, first utilizing subjects from the nearby camp run by Maj. Klaus, then moving on to lower-level members of the Wehrmacht sworn to secrecy, and finally to members of the Waffen-SS. Without Himmel's interference, this "alternate" Projekt Weltuntergang--operating under the tentative name Ultima Thule--is showing much better progress than Kammler's experiment. "I always knew that quack was trouble," Jäger confides in Magda, "Kamerad Otto tried to warn me, I didn't listen! Lesson learned. But he did get us started off on the right foot. It's just like any endeavor, dear Magda, you start out with imperfection, and you work from there. Not that I need to explain that to you!"

He lowers his voice as if someone may be listening--Magda accordingly leans in--and tells her of future plans for Weltuntergang--or, more accurately, Ultima Thule. He's spearheading a contingency plan in case their original idea fails, meaning the collapse of the Third Reich itself. Magda is horrified--"My Ludolf!--don't speak of such a thing even in jest!"--so her husband has to calm her down to listen. "Such things happen sometimes, Liebe," he says, "and you have to be brave and be prepared. This is why I've taught you. Someday, you might need to act without me there to guide you." Magda can hardly bear to listen to such things, her eyes filling with tears, yet Jäger gently dries them and presses on. He points out that, while the two of them publicly abide by the principles and morals of the Nazi Party, in private there will be a few changes. Women in the Third Reich are, in general, second-class citizens, subservient to their husbands and lacking any real power or authority; "Yet you, you're different, my Magda," Jäger tells her. "All this time I've spent molding you to perfection has been as much for your good as for mine. You aren't perfect--yet. Neither am I. One day, soon, though, we all will be, you, me, Leopoldine, all of us. I helped lay the groundwork but from now on, the two of us are partners, equals, in this together. In the open, in front of the Reich, we'll still need to play our parts; but behind the scenes where it matters the most, you'll wield the same power I do, be capable of all the same things I am. Leopoldine will follow us, and all the rest. Even should worst come to worst and the Reich should fall, we'll have all we need to start anew, the seeds of a Fourth Reich, a far better and perfect Reich." He sees the look on Magda's face--after everything he's taught her, what he's saying is practically blasphemy--so he pauses and then adds, "I'd never force you into anything that makes you uncomfortable or goes against your principles, my Magda, so if this isn't what you want, let me know...?" and awaits her answer.

Magda: (murmuring) "I want what you want, my Ludolf."

Jäger: (shaking head) "Nein."

Magda: "Nein...?"

Jäger: "Stop and think, Liebe. Don't just say. I've taught you well, but now it's time for you to start standing on your own. Don't just say what you think I want to hear. Say what you mean. What you want."

Magda: "I do want what you want."

Jäger: "You're sure...? Stop and examine your thoughts. Make sure. You have no questions? You have no doubts? There's nothing wrong with doubting, Liebe. Questioning things is how we perfect them. Look at your thoughts, and if anything makes you pause, say it."

Magda: "I..." (trails off)

Jäger: "Go on, Liebe, say it. Your thoughts are equally as valid as mine."

Magda: "Just that, you know so much more than I do..."

Jäger: "You're no fool, Magda, I've taught you well. Go on and tell me. What makes you doubt?"

Magda: (bites lip) "Just..." (pause; deep breath) "Everything we've learned from the Reich, everything we stand for, how could it be imperfect?--how could it ever fall? Everything they taught us, Liebe, did they teach us wrong? The Reich is life. The Reich is all that's important. How can it ever fail? Why should we even need a Fourth Reich if this is the most perfect it can be? I don't understand."

Jäger: (smiles) "See, you do understand, Liebe. You haven't been lied to, yet you haven't gotten the truth. They've taught us what they believe and know--not lies. The thing is, their minds are so limited they don't KNOW the full truth! If you spend all your life living under the ground you won't even know there's a sky and sun and moon above you, will you? Everyone else, the people writing the books, teaching in the schools, they've been living underground. They can tell us only what they know. Yet we've found the surface. We know there's more. We can take what they've taught us, and build on it."

Magda: "But, how did we find the surface...? Why don't they know?"

Jäger: "My Magda! Such smart questions! I knew I made no mistake trusting in you. See, there are parts of the mind that most aren't even aware of, don't even know how to use. Yet there are ways to access them, if you know how to look. Ultima Thule will unlock one of these paths, make it easier for anyone to reach their full potential, use their whole mind. Me, I had to find out the hard way, through lots of searching, lots of studying of the old texts, lots of dissecting the old tales. They called these folk in the old tales 'gods' for a reason, Magda. A god is simply a being who's reached his full potential. Wotan! Donar! Frija! The primitive superstitious folk fear them and call them supernatural but really they're just Übermenschen. Folk who reached their full potential. So few of them and so awesome and inexplicable in their abilities. Of course the powers that be would assume our society is as perfect as it can be. They simply don't understand. We're on our way there, though, Liebe."

Magda: "To...being gods?"

Jäger: "Ja!" (clasps her face) "Meine Liebe! You understand me. Just wait. You'll see. We'll get there together, soon, and you'll see not only how imperfect is the Third Reich, but how perfect and wondrous will be the Fourth. Ultima Thule is the goal, and you and Leopoldine and die Kinder will be right there with me. A perfect new world."

Magda has to admit: When Jäger first swept her off her feet and out of Lebensborn, she wasn't counting on "becoming gods" being part of the deal. Yet here they are. He instructs her and Leopoldine--who appears to be following directly in his footsteps and hangs on every word he says--on what to do and what to expect as the war drags on, and when things start looking grim for the Axis, it just proves that he was right all along: The Third Reich is teetering on feet of clay, and shows signs of collapsing at any time. Magda can't help it; she's full of dread and anxiety and longs for simpler, happier times--she really doesn't want to be a god. Jäger, however, is more hopeful and enthusiastic than ever--"It's just an unfortunate fact, my Magda, as fresh flowers bloom from a rotting corpse, so the old Reich must fall so the new one can be born"--and Leopoldine is just as excited at the prospect as he is, truly a "Daddy's little girl." As Magda adores her husband and trusts him in everything, she decides to trust him, too, in this, and doesn't protest, though she's definitely fearful.

Jäger takes the family out to their mountain chalet to stay while he finishes with some business in the city; Magda begs to go with him, yet he assures her he'll be careful, that she and the children are to remain there for their own safety. Magda agonizes the entire time he's gone, frequently standing on the deck and watching for his return, having to pull herself away to look after the younger children. She tries also to keep the help staff calm as their own agitation grows, though when they start asking to return to their families to get them out of the city, she obliges so that only a skeleton crew of the oldest and most devoted staff remains. She tries to bite back her tears and growing panic as she does more of the chores herself, reminding herself that this is what a good Reich bride does, to trust in her husband and not worry so much that, as always, the only news that comes over the radio is propaganda about how well things are going for the Fatherland.

Late one night as Magda is lying in bed trying to fall asleep, she feels a hand press over her mouth, and bolts upright with a muffled scream. Before she can fight back the shadow in front of her hurries to whisper, "Shush! Shush! Magda, Liebe! It's me," and Magda lets out her breath and throws her arms around Jäger, hugging him tight. He hugs her only briefly before ordering her in a low voice, "Wake Leo and the rest of die Kinder and have her help you fetch them some of their clothes and belongings. Schnell. Then fetch some of your own. I'll get our papers. What happened to the rest of the staff?" When Magda replies that she let them go home to their families, he touches her face and says, "Smart Magda, good decision. Let them go see to their own. I'll let the rest go when we're done here. No questions, just fetch die Kinder and do as I say and I'll explain on the way, schnell," and he leaves.

Biting down the flood of anxiety that threatens to overwhelm her, Magda obeys. She wakes Leopoldine and the two of them rouse the rest of the children, grabbing clothes, diapers, toys, necessities. On her way hurrying them through the house she spots Jäger collecting their important documents and other things she wouldn't have thought of bringing along. Outside, she's surprised to find a military truck waiting; the driver waves them forward and helps them climb in the back. Magda peers out and sees the remaining members of the help staff emerge; Jäger gives some sets of keys to the head servant, who wipes his eyes and actually hugs him before they hurry off to the family car. Confused, Magda asks, "You gave them your car...?" as Jäger climbs in the truck with them. "We won't need it where we're going, Liebe," he replies, and thumps his hand on the truck's cab. "Best settle in, it's going to be a long trip," he advises, and they do so the best they can as the truck pulls away from the chalet and makes its way down the mountain path.

As the children doze and the truck bumps along, Jäger quietly outlines the situation. As Magda had suspected, the news on the radio hadn't been accurate; the Americans have arrived from the west, and the Red Army is pressing in from the east. The city is on the verge of falling to the Allies, as the few remaining Wehrmacht and SS troops are starting to desert. Himmel and Kammler have been captured by the Americans already, and Projekt Weltuntergang headquarters seized (though not before Jäger made off with the most important documentation). Magda moans and covers her face but Jäger gently pulls her hands free and cups her cheeks, cooing, "Magda, mein Schatz, don't be afraid, I told you this was coming, don't you believe me?"

Magda: "I believe you, Ludolf, but what's going to happen to us now? I'm trying to be strong, honest, but I'm afraid."

Jäger: "It's going to be all right, Liebe. Trust me, trust the plan."

Magda: "I don't know the plan!"

Jäger: "Keep your head. I had some small hope it wouldn't come to this, yet it has, so this is what we do. We're heading south, to the mountains."

Magda: (confused) "The Alps--?"

Jäger: "Ja. It's going to be a long trip, but don't worry, we'll make a few stops for food and fuel and for die Kinder to stretch their legs. We need to hurry, though--no dallying. We'll be joining some more men and vehicles along the way. Nothing for you to fret too much about. We'll have everything we need."

Magda: "Everything we need for what...?"

Jäger: (kisses her) "For our glorious new Reich to be born."

As they continue, several other vehicles arriving and accompanying them to form a small caravan, further details emerge: They're indeed heading for the Alps, where Jäger informs her a specially built fortress awaits. They'll be starting their new life there, and will shelter in the mountains until the situation on the ground is under control, then for a while afterward: "We need to start building things up again, Magda Liebe, and it'll take time before we can head out into the world again, yet we can do it!" Magda worries about the prospects of trying to live in an Alpine Fortress--surely they won't have enough to get by--but Jäger dismisses her fears, reassuring her that there's enough food and other resources to last for at least a decade. As they finally reach the mountains and switch to vehicles that can better handle the terrain and weather, slowly climbing higher and higher until at last Jäger pulls Magda and Leopoldine forward to look out at the scenery, it at last dawns on Magda how severely she underestimated the concept of a "fortress." All she can see of it from the outside are occasional entryways built into the mountainsides, yet they're gaping and cavernous when they open (skillfully disguised when closed), and after their own caravan enters one she gets her first look at just how prepared they really are.

The Fortress has been under construction for years--almost since the first days of the Reich--and as Jäger tells her, it was originally intended for the Führer and his staff and families to flee to should the Reich fall. Sometime along the way, construction and planning were abandoned and the Fortress was deemed no longer necessary...yet a small group of elites-within-the-elite, a group known as the Thule Society, took it upon themselves to quietly resume work upon the project. They incorporated it into their plans for Projekt Weltuntergang and referred to the whole as Projekt Ultima Thule--an expansion upon and perfection of the original project whose goal was simply to create a supersoldier for the Reich to win the war. The war is now almost lost, yet the project continues, with the renewed purpose of creating the true master race ("It turns out it actually has little to do with race, Liebe," Jäger explains); as they grow in numbers and gather power, they'll remain hidden in the Alps, but they'll eventually make their way back down to the world to seize control and begin the Fourth Reich. It'll be a long, slow process, yet "We're here, together, my Magda, and take courage in the thought that we and our children will be in the vanguard of this wondrous new incarnation of Herrenvolk!" He adds that more SS families will start moving into the Fortress as they escape the war, and their children will marry and start families of their own. Leopoldine, when Jäger informs her of this, is excited at the prospect of being an SS bride and raising a big family just like her mother--"For the glory of the Reich!" Despite her own loyalty to the cause, Magda feels an uneasy twinge at hearing her young daughter (timeline is iffy but Leopoldine is probably between ten and twelve years old) talk already about bearing children for the men, and hopes such a thing doesn't come to pass TOO soon. Jäger assures her he'll let nothing inappropriate happen to Leopoldine or any of the others, though Magda privately determines to keep a close eye on things herself as well.

She does still have questions about how, exactly, they intend to overcome their shortcomings and "become gods" as the project promises. Here, finally, Jäger reveals something that truly fills her with dread: Everyone participating in Ultima Thule is to take the serum. That includes her, and all the children, even the youngest. Magda balks, when Jäger fills her in on something: He himself has already started the regimen of injections. He has her look closely at his eyes and she can't believe she hadn't noticed it yet--a hazy, almost glowy blue tinge, which she can see really only over his pupils as his eyes are naturally light blue. "What is that?" Magda gasps, and Jäger replies, "Just one of the small side effects, Liebe. You see me, I'm still alive, still healthy? I didn't want to needlessly worry you but I've already been feeling the intended effects of it. This is the first step to us becoming Übermenschen. Bitte, Liebe, join me? I want you here beside and equal to me. You can choose whether you want to take it or not, I'd never think of forcing you, yet if you decide nein, we can't go forward in this together."

He seems genuinely saddened at the prospect of her deciding to decline, and she does pick up the implication: He'll just go on without her if she refuses. Magda panics at the thought of losing her Ludolf, but does ask him what will become of the children if she says no? Jäger replies that the younger children, being unable in his opinion to decide for themselves yet, could go with her, but Leopoldine is old enough to make up her own mind. Magda's even more torn at the thought of leaving behind even one of her children, and requests that they ask Leopoldine what she wants. Jäger calls the girl to them and outlines the plan with the serum; he's barely finished speaking before Leopoldine's eyes light up and she bounces like she's been offered a shiny new toy. "The glory of the Reich! The glory of the Reich!" she exclaims; "You want to be a part of this?" Jäger asks, "It's all right if you wish not--" but Leopoldine cuts him off: "Ja, Papa, ja! Bitte, bitte! I want to be in the perfect new world. Das Herrenvolk!" After Jäger dismisses her he says to Magda, "Just in case you think I've coached her to say that. Let's give her some time to make sure, ja...?" Yet Magda slowly shakes her head: "I know her...she's made up her mind. She knows what she wants." She pauses, wringing her hands a little, then says in a small voice, "Will it hurt...?" Jäger takes her hands and smiles at her. "Magda Liebe, it's just a needle prick, and then illumination. Even if it weren't, you've borne all my children, you've been so strong! You can take anything. But nein, it doesn't hurt. You have absolutely nothing to be afraid of, Liebe."

Although she still has her doubts--doubts which Jäger insists are normal for her to have--Magda finally agrees, and is given her first injection. The serum used to require a lengthy IV infusion (this can still be used), but has since been simplified into a series of shots, and she grimaces a little and shuts her eyes, turning away from the needle, as she gets the first one directly into her vein. Leopoldine doesn't flinch or look away at all. Jäger gives Magda the chance to see for herself that there are no ill effects before the rest of the children get their shots. She's perplexed to notice no difference afterward; Jäger tells her it may take a bit, possibly more shots, before she does, and to be patient. And indeed, over the next few weeks, she begins to notice things. The cavern interiors start to seem almost luminous so she doesn't realize she's been walking in near-darkness until she's almost overpowered by a well-lit room; she hears the guards and doctors having quiet conversations several caverns over, despite the distance between them; and she can feel things as well, subtle changes in the air currents, vibrations, the movements of others far off, sensations she can't explain. She tries to describe this to her husband one day and is frustrated to find she lacks the words; he seems vaguely amused when he tells her, "You can't describe the ineffable, Liebe." Magda asks what does "ineffable" mean. Jäger removes a dictionary from his shelf and hands it to her. She doesn't have it in her to feel insulted, just takes the book and starts looking through it. A few hours later, she asks if she can look at the other books on his shelf. She spends the next several days devouring them all, when previously she'd never had much interest in reading, had considered it a masculine pastime. She shows up at Jäger's new office with a strange look on her face, eyes wide and blue and luminous, and murmurs, "I believe I understand now."

Being a woman, and surrounded by all the men doing all the heavy work, Magda has no real reason to test her strength and endurance. All activities feel easier, though, and she finds she doesn't tire nearly as quickly as before. She actually understands much of the talk she hears the others engaging in, and uses this to her and Jäger's advantage, reporting back to her husband what they've said--they all still believe she's too ignorant to comprehend what they're talking about, which makes her an excellent eavesdropper. Jäger rewards and punishes his men based on Magda's reports, and is amused when Magda also reports how confused the men are every time they get caught. In the evenings, Jäger instructs Magda and Leopoldine on the tenets they'll abide by in the new Reich, and they eagerly soak up the information like sponges. Then after all the children are put to bed, Magda shows Jäger that the serum definitely has affected her stamina; she soon ends up pregnant with their tenth child. "Our first to be born in this wondrous new world!" Jäger exclaims proudly when the doctors give them the news.

Magda isn't privy to all the deepest goings-on of the experiment itself, but Jäger willingly fills her in, especially now that she has the ability to comprehend what he's telling her. Members of the Einsatzgruppen, the former mobile death squads of the SS, had been tasked with collecting "valuable corpses" for use in the project. Magda learns of an additional tweak to the original Projekt Weltuntergang: "When people become gods, Liebe," Jäger explains, "that implies immortality, as well." Projekt Ultima Thule won't just confer increased abilities on its participants--it'll also grant them unending life, and will even bring them back from the dead. Magda finds this difficult to believe until she sees it for herself; the Einsatzgruppen had retrieved the body of a slain American soldier, a Trench Rat nicknamed Indigo, toward the war's end, and he's been literally kept on ice since then; following a few more changes to the serum, his lifeless body is finally brought out and hooked up to an IV. Magda declines to watch the procedure, deeming it too gruesome for her tastes, but is introduced to Indigo after he's sufficiently revived. She'd seen that he was in fact deceased; and now here he is, alive again, albeit with significant changes: His eyes have the same milky blue tint as those of everyone else in the project, and he's nonvocal and unresponsive to her greeting of "Guten Tag, Herr Indigo." All he does is stare blankly. Magda wonders if she's offended him, when Jäger murmurs in her ear, "Obviously, there are still a few flaws here and there. Ones we've brought back like this, they don't talk, don't interact, though they do follow orders quite well." He adds that subjects are traditionally programmed to respond only to orders given by doctors, though this can sometimes be overridden by wearing some sort of recognized medical insignia, tricking the subject into thinking one is a doctor. He shows this off by issuing Indigo an order; Indigo ignores him, though when Jäger then attaches a Caduceus pin to his breast--"The American military lacks sufficient understanding of the folklore, they think this is a medical emblem"--Indigo at last shows a response, his blank stare shifting in Jäger's direction. When Jäger issues the order a second time, Indigo now complies. "This seems like it could be quite a serious flaw," Magda says, to which Jäger agrees: "You're of course right, Magda Liebe, I've already brought it up for future correction. Still wrinkles to iron out! But we have plenty of time to get it right." He adds, "I'm sure you'll have some decent ideas to offer," which makes Magda blush with pleasure at the thought of assisting in such a grand project.

One day, guards arrive at Ultima Thule headquarters with an unusual visitor in tow: Another Trench Rat, this one alive. His codename is Silver, and Jäger seems unusually excited to meet him. "He was truly a somebody, Magda Liebe," he says, "drove us absolutely mad always breaking into headquarters, stealing our papers, even killing our guards! We called him Der Silbergeist. He liked breaking people's necks." Magda is perplexed about why he'd be so enthusiastic to meet somebody who sounds so awful; Jäger explains this is exactly why: "Can you imagine?--if we could turn someone like THAT to our cause. He was formidable enough without the serum. Just imagine the possibilities with him on it!" Magda has her concerns about this plan: "Ludolf Liebe, why do you think he would want to join us...? What if he has his beliefs the way we have ours? These Trench Rats, they were pretty loyal to their own, weren't they...?" Jäger, however, gently brushes her off: "We at least offer him the option. If he refuses, it's regretful, but we terminate him. Yet he might prove useful. It would be such a waste not to try."

Well...the one time Jäger doesn't listen to Magda turns out to be the time her worries are well founded. Although Silver--after a carefully worded threat by Jäger--agrees to join them and be administered the serum, and then appears to be interested in Jäger's ideas, secretly he's watching, gathering info about the Fortress's defenses, and biding his time. Magda never quite shakes off her bad impression of him, yet has nothing concrete on which to base it, so holds off on protesting further; Jäger had always told her to trust her intuition and question things, yet he seems invested in Silver, so she ignores the warnings going off in her head. When a group of intruders arrives--former Trench Rats as well as those who once served alongside Jäger, such as Otto Himmel and Ratdog--Silver at first continues to side with Jäger. Despite the small size and limited resources of the group, they manage to turn Indigo, and Silver provides them with important information--as well as takes out some of Jäger's medically enhanced guards--so they gradually gain the advantage. With each setback, Magda sees Jäger's mood deteriorate, and he finally takes her aside during a lull to speak with her privately. "Magda Liebe," he says quietly, looking her in the eyes, "do you remember the plan we made...? The one I told you was only if worst comes to worst. You recall...?"

Magda: (covers mouth & lets out a dismayed sound) "Ludolf, nein."

Jäger: "You remember?"

Magda: "Of course I remember. But bitte--we can't."

Jäger: "When we went over this, I know I told you the chances were infinitesimal. Yet real. Sweet Magda." (cupping her face) "I still believe this is a plan we needn't use. Yet I need to know that you're ready, and that you're willing."

Magda: "How can one ever be ready for such a thing--?"

Jäger: "You know what it is you have to do, and when to do it--?"

Magda: (eyes tearing up) "I know, my Ludolf, I remember all of it. But I don't want to."

Jäger: "Liebe, of course not. I don't, either. And there's still a chance we needn't. But when we went over this, before, you assured me you could do it. That you would do it, if it finally came to this. You've changed your mind...?"

Magda: "It was different then! Things were going so well, you said so yourself. I didn't think we'd ever actually have to!"

Jäger: "If you think I misled you, Liebe..."

Magda: "Nein, my Ludolf, I'd never...I know you've only ever been honest with me...just...I'm afraid. This isn't what I wanted, what we planned for so long."

Jäger: "I know, Liebe, but we aren't gods yet, we aren't perfect. I make mistakes, I misjudge sometimes. You yourself tried to warn me, ja--?"

Magda: "Nein, meine Liebe! I never said you were wrong--"

Jäger: "It's all right, sweet, you may have been right. I should have listened to you. Yet I never lied to you. This glorious new world...it might await us still. I fully believe it's there. Yet maybe...maybe we aren't the ones intended to reach it. Maybe we only laid the groundwork for those to come. I don't know."

Magda: "Liebe!"

Jäger: "You do believe me, Magda...? You believe in this too...?"

Magda: "Of course I do, my Ludolf. Sieg heil! The glorious new Reich!"

Jäger: "Even if it isn't us, even if we aren't the first gods in this wondrous new world, you'd do what you can to make sure it comes to pass? Make any sacrifice...?"

Magda: (tearing up again) "I don't..."

Jäger: (puts his forehead to hers) "My only Magda...?"

Magda: (swallows, takes a breath) "I will, my Ludolf."

Shortly after coming to live in the Alpine Fortress, Jäger had sat down with Magda and Leopoldine, a serious look upon his face, and laid out a contingency plan. "It's almost certain we'll never need it," he'd assured them, "though absolutely nothing in life is certain, but uncertainty. Right now you needn't fret about this, needn't let it worry you. But we need to be prepared for anything. You're willing to sacrifice for the Fourth Reich to come, for Ultima Thule...?" Leopoldine, of course, had agreed immediately, without a second thought--"For the glory of the Reich, Papa!" Magda had been ready to do the same...when the tiniest little twinge of doubt had emerged in the back of her mind. Jäger had asked before if she were willing to give, to work, to struggle for their vision...he'd never used the word sacrifice. "What is it we'll need to do...?" she'd gingerly asked, and as plainly and openly as possible, Jäger had told her. Leopoldine, ever the born true believer--never having known any life other than that she had to offer the Reich--hadn't wavered, had still agreed that she was fully willing to follow through. Magda, however, had gone white as a sheet--not quite able to believe that such a sacrifice would be asked of her, and seriously doubting Jäger's vision for the first time in her life. She'd almost rejected the request--yet felt a hand clasp hers, and looked down to see Leopoldine staring back up at her, eyes wide and blue and utterly credulous, simply believing, not questioning in the slightest. Also for the very first time, Magda finally understood what others must see when they looked at them. Leopoldine had the stare of a fanatic.

Just as quickly, Magda had shoved the feeling back down and smothered it. To see such trust and devotion from her own daughter had convinced her, and she'd agreed to Jäger's plan. He even took out his Ehrendolch and used it to slice open his palm, making smaller cuts on her hand and Leopoldine's--Leopoldine not flinching at all--and they clasped their bleeding hands together. "Meine Prinzessinnen," Jäger had exclaimed, beaming at them; "I knew I chose you well! You've never let me down, not once."

Now, Magda feels it--the urge to disagree, to back out, to go her own way, as he'd once promised her she had the choice to do. Yet she knows she'd be doing this without him--without Leopoldine--and for the first and only time, she'd be letting him down. The fear of this overrides her fear of the emergency plan, and she swallows it down again and promises him she'll follow through if necessary. "No matter what?" he asks; "No matter what," she replies, and he murmurs, "Mein liebster Magda. To me, you have always been perfect," and kisses her.

Jäger heads deeper into the Alpine Fortress to confront the intruders, leaving Magda behind in the safety of their family stronghold. I haven't yet worked out the details, but almost the moment her husband is killed in a rock collapse--turns out the serum has its shortcomings after all, and destroying the brain is the way to nullify the prospect of immortality--Magda knows it, knows that in an instant her love is gone and isn't returning for her. The feeling almost overwhelms her and she lets out a dry sob, but catching sight of Leopoldine nearby, she tries to push down her grief just long enough to call the girl to her, asking if she remembers their plan. Leopoldine does; her normally cheery face gets serious and she murmurs, "Papa isn't coming back...?" Magda swallows her tears--"Nein, Liebling, not this time...bitte, fetch your brothers and sisters and bring them here for me...?" Her eyes blur over and she bites down a whimper; Leopoldine grasps her arm, and she looks down at her again. "It'll be all right, Mama," she says, as sure as ever, her eyes alight. "We'll be together again in a glorious new world! He said we will!" Magda can't help it--her eyes start streaming and she hiccups and wipes them, but forces an unconvincing smile--"Go on and fetch die Kinder...you know what to do."

Leopoldine gets the children and Magda gathers them in a cavern just off their family quarters. She has a tray full of porcelain mugs, steam rising from the tops--"Hot cocoa, a treat for you all, gute Kinder!"--and Leopoldine hands out the drinks, taking the youngest, Liane, and giving her a bottle. They make sure every child finishes their drink, then Leopoldine drinks her own cocoa. When the rest of the children start yawning and nodding off, Magda and Leopoldine lay them down side by side, tucking blankets around them, humming lullabies as they fall asleep. By the time they're done, Leopoldine is rubbing at her own drooping eyelids; "You've done well, sweet, time for a nap," Magda murmurs, and helps her oldest daughter bundle up in her own blanket. She sits by her children for a little while, watching them sleep, trying to gather her courage; she cries a bit, but manages to pull herself together, and digs in the bottom of the sack in which she brought the blankets. Her eyes well up anew and she can't help whimpering as she removes a pistol. Fighting hard not to sob, she stops next to Leopoldine, but can't bring herself to do anything; so she moves to her second oldest, Lisbeth. She points the pistol at Lisbeth's forehead, steadies her shaking arm, shuts her eyes and fires. Then lets out an awful wail which echoes through the cavern, her ribs heaving as she's suddenly racked with sobs.

The rest of the children--Liesl, Lars, Lara, Lothar, Lilli, and Lotti--strangely go much easier and quicker, though Magda's crying gets louder, her grief more raw, with each shot. When she comes to the baby, Liane, she almost loses her nerve, yet steels herself and fires once more. Then needs to change the magazine, as the pistol is out of rounds. Her hands shake so badly she almost drops it as she walks back to Leopoldine and aims. Despite their lack of shared blood, Leopoldine had always been Jäger's favorite, his best student, and had taken after him; he'd always beamed at her in pride, declaring her his natural successor, first among his princesses and princes. She and Jäger share no relation, but she's the last little bit of Jäger that Magda has left, and once more she falters, overwhelmed by tears. She reminds herself of the plan, however...and contemplates a life without her husband or the rest of her children, with a daughter who would never forgive her...and again pulls the trigger.

After a few moments to cry herself out, catch her breath, try to stop her trembling, she stoops down and carefully draws the blankets' edges up over the children's heads, granting them a bit of respect. She sits down next to Leopoldine's still form, wiping her eyes and sniffling, clasping the pistol. She's the last; there's nobody left to cover her face when she's gone. She tells herself it doesn't matter. All they're leaving behind are shells; true, they won't get the chance to experience the glorious new Reich for which they'd planned so long, but there's another, different, glorious world awaiting. Jäger believed it, Leopoldine believed it, once upon a time when she dreamed of a knight to come and sweep her away, Magda believed it, too. She takes a few deep breaths, lifts the gun, shuts her eyes.

"We're coming, my Ludolf," she says with the slightest quaver in her voice, puts her hand on her belly, and places the gun to her head.

[Magdalena Jäger 2023 [‎Friday, ‎June ‎9, ‎2023, ‏‎2:00:23 AM]]

[rupalpspodrace]

this is a really good primer! as someone who has read all if not most of the star wars canon, here's some additional helpful info about this for beginners:

the holy grail of gay people in star wars is the high republic. the queers mentioned here really only scratch the surface. you do not need to have read or seen a lot of star wars to enjoy it. maybe have seen a few of the movies. i've written a complete reading guide that i keep updated:

PHASE 1 (start here)

PHASE 2 (bookmark this for after)

The key to READING Star Wars is your library (I'm speaking to those of you in the US, I know it's more challenging abroad). Libby and Hoopla are your BEST friends. i even share my libby and hoopla logins with my friends (even ones abroad lol) and we crowdsource library cards between us. i use libby/hoopla to read the comics AND the books. Star Wars audiobooks are also really special - they have full sound design, even the ones with only one narrator, with music and all the sound effects that make a Star War. Hoopla is also great for comics, they usually have the popular trade paperbacks that collect the comics.

If you're planning on getting into the Empire era of comics that often cross over with each other, which includes the gay handmaidens, Doctor Aphra, and the girlies from Bounty Hunters, the reading order can get...literally insane and complicated. I created a Star Wars comics reading guide here, and you can scroll down to the 2015/2016 and then 2020 crossover runs, since my guide includes a lot more, but know that this will be more of an uphill battle.

If you JUST want to get into Doctor Aphra, which not only has sapphics galore but all kinds of other queers, I suggest listening to the Doctor Aphra audio drama (or reading the script) that summarizes her story from the 2016 comic run, and then reading her currently running 2020 comic.

(You can find all this info in my complete reading guide of where to start on books AND comics here, BTW).

A few slight corrections to the OP's lovely powerpoint:

it is true that Delian Mors and her now deceased wife are technically the first lesbians in the new Disney canon, and it is mentioned in the book itself, but the representation is lets say...not the best. it's a decent book, but I wouldn't go there for anything sapphic.

the sapphic identity of Rae Sloane is highly in question - one could interpret her as ace/aro of some kind possibly instead. It basically just says that she's never really thought of anyone of ANY gender that way and her only love is like, fascism lol

similarly, Ahsoka's is a bit in question as well. A girl in the book has a crush on HER, and it is definitely leaning towards that it's reciprocated, but it's not really touched on too much because she's a Jedi (this is in contrast to other Jedi characters in canon who despite issues of attachment it makes very clear their sexuality!). However I am a Kaeden/Ahsoka shipper for life

one VERY LARGE bit of canon sapphic Star Wars content OP missed is Star Wars Visions: Ronin, which is quite possibly one of my favorite Star Wars (if not overall) books of all time. It is a continuation of the first Star Wars Visions short, "The Duel," and every single character is gay except like, one. The Sith woman that the Ronin duels in the short is named Kouru, and she has some absolutely lesbian enemies to lovers shenanigans in that book. (Y'all Wolfwren shippers will eat this shit up). The book retroactively makes "The Duel" the first onscreen lightsaber duel between two canonically queer combatants. (Although CANONICALLY is a loaded term in this sense, because it is canon in the parallel universe that the short and the book take place in, not in the GFFA we know. Ronin and its source material take place in a version of Star Wars more like if feudal Japan was in space. This book fucks.)

TLDR: if you want to get started with the sapphics in Star Wars, start with the High Republic, Doctor Aphra, and Ronin. You will be EATING well. (And you should subscribe to our podcast about queers in Star Wars, where we've interviewed some of these authors!)

lately i have been a bit miffed by the lack of awareness when it comes to queer characters, and more specifically sapphic characters, in the Star Wars canon. so, in my capacity as the patron saint of lesbian visibility, i've decided to quit whining about it and be the one to spread some knowledge

without further ado.....a very long and obnoxious lesson

now let me tell you about them. in detail. through very specific categories

you don't have anything else to do, right?

CATEGORY ONE: GAY. ON. SCREEN.

they're gay. on screen.

CATEGORY TWO: THE A WORD

Doctor Aphra and her web of lesbianity

CATEGORY THREE: HANDGAYDENS

Padme Amidala and her gay handmaidens

CATEGORY FOUR: THE HIGHLY GAY REPUBLIC

all the many, many queers of the golden age of the jedi

CATEGORY FIVE: VIDEO GAYMES

queers from the Jedi games and related media

CATEGORY SIX: GAY FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW

characters created for or made queer in the From a Certain Point of View books

CATEGORY SEVEN: COMICALLY QUEER

wlws from comics not involved with Aphra

CATEGORY EIGHT: BOOKED AND GAY

characters who are gay in books, even if nowhere else

whew. still here?

thank you for scrolling all the way through this. if you are interested in talking about any of these people or want to know how to learn more about them on your own, my inbox is always open!!

and seriously folks, if you’re interested in any of them i implore you: read their stories, write fic, make art!!! the more we show that these characters are appreciated and talked about, the more likely we are to get more like them, and hopefully more that are even better and more visible rep

that’s all from me. have a gay day

[osdove]

Anti-honesty hour: How would Aang propose?

To Azula specifically?

Well, of course, he'd go her parents for advice first. And Roku, too, why not. After gaining the much-needed wisdom he needs to pop the question, he asks his friends to help with making as many pieces of jewelry as they can.

Then, he'd visit Azula, who presumably is healed and in a much better place mentally. Also assuming that she and Aang have been a couple for a while. With a comically large bag, he starts throwing all the jewelry he can at her, at maximum velocity. See, he worked out from Ozai that Azula loves violence, and Ursa, who has no idea what Azula likes, that Azula loves pretty things like all girls do, so he decided to combine Azula's favourite things together and see if she got the hint.

Roku's advice was that Sozin once burst out of a large cake dressed in - well, he dare not say. If Azula were to reject this first attempt, then he'd simply hide in a cake, wait for her to approach the cake, and then burst out with fireworks and such then ask her to marry him.

He'd also give up all of his morals, philosophies and ideals just for marriage, btw. Who needs Air Nomad culture when you have a wife?

[padfootastic]

James returns or (if you’ve already posted a snippet of that) the jilypad one?

Super interested and excited for James returns, btw - there’s not enough good fics out there with him returning!

!!! anon, u and me both. so the james returns one is a bit of a weird one bc it’s in two parts—the first is something i started & abandoned years ago (in 2017, i think) that i reread recently and realised set up a v good base for what i wanted, and something more recent. the two parts are connected yet, and it’s a v abstract concept and i’m paying around w ideas of romantic/qpp prongsfoot as well. for that reason, i’ll choose to give a snippet for the jilypad one (also bc i’m v excited ab that and i’m so happy u asked bc i was just waiting for *someone* to hehehe)

okay so. the jilypad fic is a social media, youtube video format fic based off this one ‘best friend vs wife’ video i love. basically, lily & sirius are always fighting over who’s the ‘true wife’ (tongue in cheek use of the term, mind) and they conduct a proper competition to find out who can win the title once and for all. it’s super fun and i wrote a large chunk of it months ago and i just need to finish it up lol here’s one of my fav bits from it!!

x

Lily and Sirius are sitting on opposite ends of a four seater table—comically competitive looks on their faces—James squarely in the center, facing the camera head on. He has a pinstriped blazer over his plain tee, along with a tie that has, on further inspection, tiny broomsticks dotted along its length. It’s an—interesting sartorial decision. In front of him is an unplugged mic- bright, glittery purple in color. He doesn’t seem to show any signs of self-consciousness.

“Alright then. We have our contestants and the equipment ready,” James gestures towards the two who’ve now moved on to glaring at each other. Lily is in the middle of an ‘index-finger-across-the-throat’ action. At James’ words, both of them, without breaking eye contact, hold up their whiteboards and dry erase markers—pink for Lily, blue for Sirius.

“Er- great,” James claps his hands together, slightly too loudly. He’s eyeing his ‘wives’ warily, perhaps realising this might not be the best idea. The first clink of realisation, if you will.

“First question,” he says after a second, mic firmly in hand. “We’re starting off super easy, setting the stage, you know the deal. What is my favorite color?”

Immediately, Sirius and Lily scribbled in sync on their whiteboard. Five seconds in and both of them are finished. One final look for confirmation and the first round is kicked off by both of them raising their boards high.

GOLDEN, says Lily’s.

GOLD (Because you’re a chump), is Sirius’ contribution.

James swats at the back of his head with the shimmering mic.

“That’s one point for each of you. I must say, I would have been disappointed if it wasn’t.” He places a Hershey’s kiss on each side of the table and looks up with a wink. “Kisses for every correct answer.”

“Oh my god, Jamie,” Sirius groans, lightly slamming his head against the table. “We’re already participating in a visual representation of your ego. Don’t tell me the sleaziness will be included in that.”

James immediately makes an offended squawk while Lily snorts, raising her hand for a high five. As Sirius reciprocates, there’s a ‘Ting’ sound on the screen with the words ‘Co-Wives Solidarity Hours’.

x

(but also. if ur still interested in the james returns fic, despite how disjointed it is, i’ll be happy to talk more about it/share a snippet from the old doc 🙈)

From this WIP game

[mrs-hollandstan]

Idk if you're still doing the mob!tom and second wife blurbs but could you do one where y/n and tom bring home their newborn and seeing tom bring absolutely in love with the baby. Huge fan of your work btw!!!

Part sixxxxxxxxx. Check out the second wife!reader tag for the other parts :)

[[MORE]]

“No RUNNING PLEASE!” Tom yells as Theo barrels past him, slowing per his father’s request. Tom sighs, carrying your baby girl into the living room with her little floral diaper bag slung over his shoulder. It’s comical how much color the carrier and bag brings to his all black outfits, your husband decked out in floral patterns and bright, cheery colors. He sets the carrier on the coffee table, shrugging the bag off. He sighs as he bows down to unclip Kiah from her carseat, fixing the little bow around her head,

“Let’s go see your nursery pretty girl.” He coos down at her, cradling her small body close to his chest. You follow, listening to Tom coo down at your little love, passing Theo’s room where he’s already started to play. Pushing into the room, he looks around at the mostly pink room you’ve set up over the months,

“Obviously you won’t be sleeping in here for the nights when mummy has to feed you and you’re in the bassinet in our room. But when you have naps and you’re a little older, you’ll be in here.” He explains to her as if she’ll understand him. He kisses the top of her head before she starts to get fussy. Laying her on the diaper changing station’s mat, he shrugs his jacket off, turning and tossing it to you in the little white faux fur moon chair sat in the open room. you giggle, holding it close and watching him unbutton the shirt he wears, 

“What’re you doing Mr. Holland?" You ask, catching his shirt as well. He looks up,

"Gonna do some skin to skin with my baby girl. She's upset and I know this'll help." He says with a shrug. You stand and gesture to the chair, pulling the small ottoman closer to your husband and daughter as he lays her half naked body over his chest. He runs his fingers up her small back, lips pressed to the top of her head,

"I love her. And I love you. I couldn't ask for more from you." He tells you, looking up. You smile, leaning in to lay your head against his shoulder,

"I love you both too. And Theo of course. I just... I'm glad that we sorted out our problems before she got here. She needs both parents together." Tom nods as he listens to you before moving off to one side of the chair, beckoning you in. You stand and sit beside them, Tom's arm wrapping around you, other hand rested on Kiah's tiny back still,

"Got the perfect little family I didn't know I deserved." He says quietly, the both of you watching a calm and content Kiah chew her fist as she lays curled up on her father's chest.

"He's the man of our dreams huh baby girl?" You coo, Tom's smile widening,

"My girls. We've been talkin about getting our one of each and that's it but... as perfect as she is, I want twenty." He tells you, making you giggle,

"You did like the process of me getting pregnant and the belly. I'd love to see what our little boys look like." Tom smiles, playing with the hair that stands up atop Kiah's head. He sighs, leaning in to kiss the top of her head again,

"Never grow up my sweet girl. As much as I'd love to see you at the age where you can join mummy, daddy, and big brother in bed, I don't wanna see my little love grow up." He tells her. You hum, placing your hand over his stomach, watching your little girl before you glance up at Tom,

"I love you." You say softly. He glances at you before leaning in to kiss your forehead,

"Love you too babes. Thank you for giving me the missing piece of my heart." You crinkle your nose, kissing his lips softly,

"Thank you for giving me my whole heart." You reply. He let's you hold his body to yours, both of your eyes trained on the sweet little baby girl that has her daddy wrapped around her finger completely, already. His heart soars now that your baby girl is living in the large nursery he could always find you organizing when your pregnancy anxiety got the best of you. He's grateful for not only you, or Kiah, but also Theo, and to some extent Zendaya for giving him the oppurtunity to find his forever after their messy relationship. Because here you and Kiah are, completing him. And he wouldn't trade either of you for the world.

[babyspacebatclone]

Something related…

I finally got around to reading Nate Stevenson’s autobiographical graphic “novel” “The Fire Never Goes Out.”

(tw if you seek it out: it was originally published before his name change, so older editions still use his deadname, including the one I borrowed from the library; current editions use ND Stevenson)

There is next to nothing from the years Nate was working on SPOP in it, largely because the art/comics are stuff he put up on Tumbr by year and obviously the show and his life kept him away from posting.

That is completely understandable, btw, no criticism intended on this.

But that leaves the year review write up as - difficult to interpret.

I’m forced to have a takeaway that being made showrunner of SPoP was the worst thing that could have happened to Nate.

I could be wrong, and focusing on the negatives that were revealed at the expense of positives that didn’t get as strongly textualized.

But he talks about the pressure, about the expectations he internalized over all the success he achieved so young, about impostor syndrome (without that word to my memory) and anxiety and still struggling to come to terms with his bipolar disorder….

Nate was not prepared for being responsible for something with as much nostalgia baggages as She Ra.

And as much as everyone, including his wife, could help in the situation - and I’m sure they did to the best of their abilities! - as much as those people could help, I don’t think it could have ever been enough.

What I’m saying is…

Based upon my reading of “The Fire Never Goes Out,” the final season of SPoP, and crew interviews including the above…

Nate, at that time, should not have been given an existing property with existing expectations.

On a purely intuitive level, filled with extreme bias, I do not believe the stress Nate was under could have ever allowed him to direct a healthy resolution to Catradora.

I can understand the desire to “go there,” to create what at the time had never been done before.

I can understand the pressure of that idea keeping others from reigning in Nate.

But I really feel the results speak for a need for someone to have intervened when it was obvious Season 5 couldn’t handle what had been set up.

And there is no reason a well handled show should not have been storyboarded in such a way to make the time constraints clear.

That is not a knock on Nate; there should have been experienced people and the time for them to make those plans. If they were not made, that’s on the producers, that’s their literal job, making sure these things can be done.

That’s one of the things the Writers Guild were trying to protect and reclaim with the strike (woot!! you go peeps! so happy for you!!!).

In short:

Someone should have stopped this, because poor Nate was (based on my understanding of his experience) not capable of creating anything other than what we got with Season 5.

so i just found some old interviews of spop, especially ones after the finale, and i just wanted to dissect some of the interesting parts:

the crew themselves keep reinforcing the idea that only catra saw adora for who she is, when the show itself says otherwise multiple times. catra, who mocked adora for never being a true hero, who kept hurting adora because she resented her for being she-ra, who kept saying that adora has a hero complex and that she is full of herself. that catra “motivated and inspired” adora?

“i wanted their romance to be the central arc”

this explains everything. the fact that they took an existing show with an intriguing fantasy world and so much potential and then reduced it to “cute lesbians kiss haha”. if you're gonna write a show about romance, do that. you don't have to butcher an already existing series for that.

“it reveals how that arc has been built”

what arc? is the arc we're talking about in the same room as us? because from what i can see, they put in zero effort to make c//a's development even halfway coherent. catgirl tortures hero for four seasons, gets saved by said hero and joins the good guys, continues torturing hero. how is that an arc?

so.. they have the right idea here. catra and adora did indeed need to take their time away from each other and deal with their problems. but did they? adora came close to building her self-esteem and realizing that she didn't have to take responsibility for everything around her. but then all that was reversed in s5 when she was forced into a relationship with the same person who ruined her sense of self-worth in the first place.

catra.. doesn't even try. the closest she got to moving on from her past was during her time in the crimson waste but then she ends up spiralling even deeper into toxicity, adding more and more into her list of crimes. in s5, she is shown to reflect on her relationship with adora but does she learn anything from it? nope. she continues abusing and berating adora, she continues giving adora mixed signals and relying on adora to do all the work in the relationship.

so the crew seemingly had the right idea (although i'd say they still shouldn't get into a relationship, even after they've worked on their issues) but never followed through. instead they gave us a lazy and rushed redemption, where the wrongdoer never works on their flaws and instead puts all the blame on their partner. amazing.

so nate himself admits that not all of catra's actions were justified. but then, why does the show try to justify them? why does the show justify catra abusing adora by implying that it's because adora abandoned her? why does the show justify all of catra's toxic and abusive behaviour by blaming it solely on shadow weaver? if catra's actions cannot be justified, the narrative should keep her accountable, which they don't.

secondly, i'll try not to assume the worst of nate's personality from what he said, and just get to the important part.

“It's other people's decision to forgive you, that's not a given, but also there are ways for you to fix what's broken. You have to work hard to prove yourself again, you have to actually actively fix what's done, it's not as simple as a sacrifice.”

i'm so confused. the way nate says it, you'd think he applied all of this to catra's arc. but he didn't. “it's not as simple as a sacrifice” but a sacrifice was all it took for catra to be forgiven by her victims. she doesn't work on herself, her apologies were shallow, and she continues repeating the same mistakes. “it's other people's decision to forgive you” yet every single character forgives catra immediately and none of them are allowed to stay mad at her.

how could you write such a bad redemption and then talk about it as if it had all the details and nuance it was lacking? again, when speaking, nate seems to have the right idea of how to write a redemption arc. why did they fumble so badly when it came to actually executing it in the story? the only answer i can think of is that none of the writers in the crew are good at writing.

[attract-mode-collective]

"I'm following Kojima's lead and decorating my office with my own quotes."

Today's the day, it's finally here... the latest & greatest from Biggu Bosu's big poppa... his first game as a free man, free from the shackles of Konami... am talking about Death Stranding, a Hideo Kojima game, of course.

To celebrate the launch, Kojima Productions teamed up with... somebody... to bring a Death Stranding pop-up gallery to NYC. And I was there, on opening day.

So the very first thing you see when passing the large Ludens, seen above, is a display of all of Kojima's badges from various gaming conferences, which gave me a hearty laugh for whatever reason...

My wife: “Honey, do you want to take a picture of a bottle of Dom Pérignon that’s signed by the cast?”

Me: “Yes.”

The gallery had various reproductions of production art all blown up, which was neat all & all, but what actually got me excited was the original Yoji Shinkawa illustrations...

Throughout the gallery were quotes from Kojima, which gave both my wife and @AmphibiouEsq ideas...

I’m very glad the curator decided to include this photograph of the Kojima Productions Christmas tree...

I was also very appreciative of this huge ass photo of brownies...

A portion of the gallery space had TVs showing the games making of; each had a toy or model, to help recreate someone's workstation at Kojima Productions...

One of my favorite parts of the space was the motion capture area, in particular, the various behind the scenes photographs...

My wife and I need a high res version of this photo for our apartment...

Actually, the part I dug the most was the only & only section that didn't allow for picture taking, which was Kojima's personal collection (I'm assuming) of photos. Thankfully Ashley found the one that I legit stared at for 10 minutes, to memorize EVERY detail...

Nothing speaks more of Kojima’s love for movies than this very Breakfast Club-esque take on the cast of Death Stranding…

Nice to see wax Norman Reedus in NYC once again; first saw him at New York Comic Con a few weeks back...

A look at the game’s collector’s edition; thankfully the only thing of interest to me, that being the pocket sized Ludens, was available at the pop-up’s gift show (and for just $15!)...

The last stop was the gift shop, which all the Kojima Production goods that one might expect, including Ludens in a variety of sizes...

I totally would have gotten the super deluxe statue if I didn’t already have the waifu version on pre-order (plus it’s like a thousand dollars)...

Additional notes:

Overall, I really dug the idea of a dedicated gallery exhibition centered on one specific game… primarily from a noted game maker who is essentially a legend, one that’s starting over. It felt like the final paragraph of the first chapter in the second volume of one’s life, if that makes any sense.

That being said, the execution was a bit rough around the edges. And given my experience running game-focused exhibitions, not just ones associated with game-centric events (like Penny Arcade Expo & New York Comic Con) but simply in NYC in general, along with the logistics involved in collaborating with a Japanese partner (which I’m well aware of, via secondhand knowledge from trusted colleagues & firsthand observations), I’m fairly confident in pointing the finger at the venue.

Pop-ups are all the rage in NYC, and venues want in on the easy money, yet also want to put in the minimal amount of effort. The staff… to be clear, not the event group that organized the exhibition, but the folks who are part of the building… were idiots. Time for examples, two to be precise:

First, remember that part of the gallery in which photography was strictly forbidden? Well, there was this one girl who was openly taking pics. I was confused as to why the guy whose job it was to keep an eye on that shit wasn’t paying attention, so in the end, I had to say something. And for those calling me a snitch, remember, I used to run these type of things, so time for a question: if you ran a small business, and was at someone’s store, and then witnessed shoplifting... you’d probably tell the owner, especially if it was someone you respected & admired, no?

Anyhow, it took way too much effort to get the guard’s attention (I tried my best to avoid a scene), but eventually he went into action. And the girl’s attempt to get out of trouble by being flirtatious totally worked, lol.

Time for example number two: so I asked another employee where the bathroom was, for both myself and my wife. This one guy pointed us towards a random stairwell, which seemingly led towards the basement and not the bathroom. BTW, there was no signage to indicate that a bathroom down there (for visitors). When I expressed confusion, his attitude screamed “just go downstairs, dumbass”, albeit without uttering those exact words. And when I hesitated… since people on the way up and the stairwell was cramped… he became even more annoyed.

Oh, so here’s a pretty important detail: my wife has mobility issues, something that’s impossible to miss, since she uses a cane. So it sucked that she had to walk down several flights down to access the bathroom, but way worse is how there was actually an elevator basically right next door, which the guard failed to acknowledge, even though my wife... with her cane... was standing right in front of him. Oh, and the reason why we didn’t notice the elevator door at the top floor ourselves is cuz all these pop-ups have super poor visibility. Ya know, “mood lighting”.

One last thing: as noted, the final part of the gallery was the gift shop, and it was legit awesome being able to get Kojima Production apparel without any import or shipping fees. Though I can’t help but notice how stressed everyone on that end was, and this was the end of day one, in which the crowd was rather light; when it comes to these kinds of events, in which there’s trouble behind the scenes, it’s often those working on the retail end who have the face the brunt of it.

So that’s my report, sorry for the rant at the end, but hey… if you’ve run similar events in the past, and are proud of the level of polish across the board, as well as married to a person who is handicapped, in a city in which everyone is actively hostile towards said loved one, you’d probably have opinions as well!

[wowheadquarters]

Top 8 of my favorite WoW OC

For a lovable anon. Now I am not sure if it means strictly my OCs or any OCs, and at this point I am too afraid to ask. So... Let’s make it my OCs and argument with the fact that I don’t know all OCs there are to exist and I could exclude someone really realy super

8. Rybomyl - My old DK character, his name is a pun on the common structure of Czech men’s names meaning [something]-loving, but in this case it means fish-washing. His greatest passion was fishing and everyboy hated to have him in a dungeon because c’mon, a body of water deep enough to cast the fishing rod it!

7. Ensheilah - An Orccish goddess or rather a spirit maintaining order within the ever-changing realm of the dead, ghosts and spirits. Coincidentally also a Shadowmoon shaman from countless years before the Dark Portal opened (or even before Durotan was born for that matter). I just like to recycle good names, the two have no relation whatsoever. Spirit-Ensheilah has never understood why people wear shirts, so she had conveniently long hair to avoid female presenting nipples on Tumblr and also on her “in-game model,” because she is a part of Taedal’s expansion for WoW. Shaman-Ensheilah exists purely to satisfy my dreams of having large tusks and enough time to romantically gaze at a star-filled sky.

6. Taedal - You actually know this guy if you bother to read the end of the lists here. His whole concept was initially made to piss off and mock the Illidari, most notably Taedal being a Demon Hunter (as in a Demon who is a Hunter). His full title/name is Taedal the Traitor, the First of His Flame. My dream is to make his expansion, on which I am still partly working, a part of canon, or at least accepted widely enough that it doesn’t matter that it has never been anywhere near the canon.

5. Toolpencil Whatzzcoil - This is a Gnome Rogue who has spent an unhealthy amount of time studying magical theory in Dalaran. I’ve created this OC accidentally during an interaction with @askvoljin (btw an ecellent blog in case you miss your Warchief). It got a little out of hand, because she has sprouted out her own comics.

4. Ti’wa - A Troll who has been thorough a lot, both in developing and backstory-wise. He’s been a lot of things - a character I played in DnD, my Horde main Druid in WoW, and lastly he is now Toolpencil’s new companion in her comics. He’s been black haired, red haired, now he is full white. If I stick with his latest canon, he comes from the Amani tribe. A thing that has been consistent with him: nobody ever bothers to tell him what is going on, and he is very tiny for a troll.

3. Anduion - Quite an important Black dragonflight help... 800 years from the future. One of the few dragons to directly walk the path of Light. If he stands next to Anduin Wrynn, people assume they are seeing double, although Anduion is visually much a darker person. He is somewhat relevant in Taedal’s WoW expansion as a questgiver, and if I make up my mind on having a playable Dragon Class (yes, Class, because game mechanics) then he is super relevant to the Dragon Heroes. Precious child, must be protected. Mainly from himself, but must be protected all the same.

2. Tee Summerwine - A Pandaren coming from Toolpencil’s comics and whose character was developed mainly after Judge Dee from the book series of same name. Except Tee is more adventurous... and also more prone to panicking. Life loves to put him in distressing moments. (And his wife is secretly a dragon.)

1. Gwen - Her full name, Gwendoline, has never actually been used. She was a young girl (died at age 12) who got sort of adopted by the Cult of the Damned since she was a toddler, she grew up in Naxxramas where she was the Head Catkeeper, wore a too big cultist robe and had a prosthetic leg. Eventually she had been sent as a field-informant (that is: a spy) to Thoramore where she died when Jaina’s tower toppled on her. Currently she is one of Garrosh’s 37 adopted ghost children. She was the only person within the Scourge who had their shit together.

Honorable mention: Authormi - She is me except she is a bronze dragon. Life goals, folks. Life goals.

[swithe-ist]

The Three Musketeers

I know I just mega-posted meta but my brain’s actually working so here’s the Three Musketeers bit I promised.

As I've mentioned before, I'm no expert on the book so I'm kind of blagging some of my reading here a bit, but I think it's fair to say that while there are lines that can be drawn between the Gaskell SL and T3M, they are broad and largely elements of the story rather than the story itself.

I think if they'd put in the effort (and budgeted) for a 2 year slow-burn of the story, it really could have been amazingly done and perhaps with the additional time they might have fleshed out the characters to a point where people wouldn't find the plot material so tedious and dry as well as done a more thorough job drawing allusions to their source material.

To start, our Dramatis Personæ and their rough T3M equivalents:

Henrik – Athos

John – Aramis*

Roxanna – D'Artagnan

David – Porthos (by default unfortunately)

Athos is the melancholy leader of 'the three inseperables', a former Comte; Aramis a womanizing and ambitious wannabe-Abbe; D'Artagnan the gutsy fresh-faced hero; Porthos, well, he's the comic-relief and frankly considering the humourlessness of both John and Henrik, coupled with Roxanna's earnestness, David probably was the main source of levity between them.

Anyway.

*As we all know, John isn't really Aramis (though he certainly fits with the religious imagery and his flirting with all the nurses) which is entirely appropriate because he's actually Milady De Winter, a femme-fatale spy for the Cardinal Richelieu. She is described as having stunning blue eyes and a voice that can hypnotise men (mmmhmm).

But the spying part isn't why I'm matching them – the twist in the Musketeers is that Milady was once Athos' wife. He finds out she has defrauded him by finding a brand on her shoulder, one she had gone to great lengths to conceal because it is the mark of a criminal.

Hm, a mark on the body...

We don't know yet the significance of John's dagger-like scar, only that he freaks out a bit that Henrik has seen it.

In T3M, Athos then 'kills' her, by executing her as is apparently his right to do as Comte on his own estate.

Now, obviously the timelines are wonky and details like the fact that Athos thinks she's dead and thus doesn't recognize her immediately when they're reunited later on don’t match either.

Then there's the fact that it's D'Artagnan that becomes fascinated by her, tries to sleep with her, discovers her secret and saves the day by exposing her. Which doesn't happen on Holby. But Roxanna certainly is hounding John about the trial and manages to corner him. Only he kills her, whereas Milady fails to kill D'Artagnan (btw she likes poisoning people).

In “Stains”, when Henrik has John sat down and is asking him if he’s who he says he is, I interpreted this as hamfisting the whole Athos/Milady thing. No idea if it’s that or there’s more to it - hard to know when the story’s not done yet.

But anyway, that’s all I’ve got - if anyone knows better, feel free to correct or w/e.

[otnesse]

"As for Beast, while the pretentiously moralizing context behind his curse was supposed to perpetuate a novel concept of it being harmful and inappropriate to judge people based on their appearance, the Enchantress deliberately chose to test a 11 year old boy who quite rationally decided against letting a stranger into his house and when failing said test was turned into a monster for the entirety of his youth (as a result of which he developed severe psychological issues and depression) with his physical form changed drastically for the sake of "teaching him a lesson" and as a bonus turning all of his completely innocent servants into talking objects which makes Enchantress appear as a morally ambiguous person at best."

You forgot to mention how the final stained-glass window strongly implied that the Enchantress was directly responsible for the state the forest surrounding the castle was in during the film proper, including it being such an extremely dangerous place to travel through (meaning that even if the Prince actually WAS loved by everyone, no one would dare try to risk going through that, what with those demonic wolves and all of that). Really, the only reason why Beast and the servants even got out of the curse at all was purely due to sheer dumb luck. Plus, quite a few of those servants such as Chip didn't really have the ability to stop Adam anyhow, either from his treatment of the hag or his overall bratty behavior (I mean for goodness sakes, Chip and his siblings were clearly children. Actually, going by the implied timeframe of the curse, not even children in Chip's case, most likely a toddler). And don't get me started on Sultan the dog, or Palanquin (the sentient stage coach that was directly responsible for sending Maurice back to the village shortly after Belle took his place) for that matter. They definitely couldn't be held accountable for Adam's behavior and thus obviously couldn't have deserved to be cursed, since they're animals (well, Sultan was, anyways. Palanquin's debatable). While the adult servants could potentially be argued as being guilty for enabling Adam, the problem with that argument is that at least one source, The New Adventures of Disney's Beauty and the Beast, indicated that the servants DID make an actual effort to stop Adam from acting like a brat. See this page for instance:

What's worse is that Lumiere DID attempt to apologize for Adam's behavior, but the enchantress took off before he had a chance to do so. Heck, in another flashback from the same comic, Lumiere in particular even tried to stop Adam from essentially poaching by targeting a fawn, and that was BEFORE he noticed the Enchantress's crow form:

The enchantress is a monster, and as far as I'm concerned, that haggard appearance of hers when testing the prince IS her true face. They really should have used HER as the main antagonist, and not what was essentially a two-bit gender studies "chauvinist pig" archetype like Gaston. Well, at least my Sisters fanfic I'm planning is going to make her the actual main antagonist (make her a bit like Zamasu from Dragon Ball Super). Besides, contrary to what she claimed, you can still get burned even when not being deceived by physical appearances, someone most certainly can be ugly inside and out. Just ask Jean-Paul Sartre. Girls fell for him, clearly adhered to the enchantress's advice of "don't be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found from within" by falling for him despite his being about as hideous as her peddler form, and THEY got used and tossed out like garbage, even made the subject of tasteless catty letters with Simone de Beauvoir, the closest he has to an actual wife. Don't believe me? Read this. And BTW, his and de Beauvoir's actions to the girls they seduced are a large part of the reason why I'm extremely cynical about that kind of moral right now.

And on the subject of Snow White, trust me, she's gotten bashed for that nearly as much as Ariel did (bit surprised Jasmine got bashed, though, since I don't recall her doing anything to even slightly deserve it other than MAYBE feeding a kid an apple while neglecting to pay beforehand). I personally thought Belle was a LOT worse than either Snow White or Ariel on that front, however. Unlike Snow White or even Ariel, who at least had ignorance of who they were dealing with for various reasons as an excuse, Belle knew EXACTLY what Gaston was truly like by that time thanks to her deducing Gaston to have orchestrated the false incarceration of her dad as blackmail to force her hand in marriage, yet STILL ended up exposing Beast to the village mob and to Gaston anyways, all to get out of marrying Gaston and partly to save her father, even when she by all accounts ought to know by that point that if Gaston could do that far to marry Belle regardless of what she wants, he definitely won't tolerate someone who she might like just a teensy bit better than him. And funnily enough, no one even criticizes her for that bit at all (not nearly to the level Ariel and Snow White were, anyways, where they are up and out demonized).

‘It annoys me how much hate Snow White gets for letting the disguised queen in the house, seeing how in Beauty and the Beast, Beast was cursed because he *didn’t* let the hag in- what’s the right answer then?’

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #149: The Gods and the Gang!

July, 1976

So apparently today they’re going to be fighting a giant whale man with a really silly cowl.

Like. I get the idea they were going for but having teeth all around your face makes you look more like a cartoon leech than a whale.

Also? I know that blue can substitute for black in comics. But light blue doesn’t give that impression. So this blue man is pretty much exactly wrongly dressed to be a killer whale man.

Also I think Iron Man lost his nose.

Last time: The Avengers investigated Brand Corporation, got sent to the Squadron Supreme world, beat them up, pointed out that maybe letting corporations run the government is bad and then transported back to the good ol’ 616. Also, Moondragon made Thor angry by accusing him of slumming with the Avengers.

So we start off This Time by having a split screen showing what the two groups of Avengers are up to.

Thor and Moondragon are returning from the Old and Current Wests. And the other Avengers and guests (Iron Man, Captain America, Hellcat, Scarlet Witch, Beast, and the Vision) are returning from another universe with a souvenir: an evil and gaudy serpent themed hat.

Also, Thor and Moondragon are still arguing. Except now they’re in the part of the argument where they’re arguing about arguing.

And another Jarvis appearance. Hi Jarvis!

He’s just so relieved to see the two of them back. All of the Avengers have been gone so long. And Cap’s group was only going to Long Island.

Thor goes to investigate and Moondragon invites herself along, with Thor’s only request being no more prattle.

Of course, Thor doesn’t expect they’re in much trouble. He’s sure Jarvis is just being a worrywort.

Hah.

Love it.

So. The Avengers are fighting a big army of identical mooks in identical jumpsuits. That’s how you know its a real comicbook.

It is, in fact, the very private army Cap had been investigating.

Also, and equally important, Hellcat is having the time of her life, kicking people in the throat and cracking wise.

And Vision does the thing where he lets a dude break his knuckles on his diamond face. It is great.

Although Roxxon President Hugh Jones and the ex-Mr. Patsy Walker Buzz Baxter disagree.

They had thought the Avengers were handled forever by dumping them into the Squadron Supreme’s universe. But now they’re in their base, punching their dudes. Whats the deal?

Hugh Jones, Roxxon President, tells Buzz Baxter to prepare THE SECRET WEAPON but then goes to psychically skype with ex-President Rockefeller.

Yup. Former. No longer actively presidential.

After Beast’s amazing cosplay ruse, the Squadron Supreme had their eyes opened to the illegal set-up the corporations arranged with the government and called a press conference on national television and denounced it.

Now there’s rioting in the streets and Rockefeller never bothered to put back on his suit. Its probably coated with blue hairs.

Hugh Jones, you know, the Roxxon President?, realizes that the Avengers are more dangerous than he thought. Now he definitely realizes he needs to RELEASE THE SECRET WEAPON, even if he had prayed it would never be loosed.

I don’t know why they’re beating around the bush with this. We all know its a whale man. I also don’t know why Hugh Jones (Roxxon President) is acting all ‘oh no not the secret weapon’ since it seems perfectly controllable and with no negative repercussions for him.

Anyway, the Avengers are still fighting Roxxon’s private army.

They bring out tanks, Scarlet Witch makes the wall collapse on the tanks.

But as the Avengers abscond, Cap spots a shadow and tries to warn the others. BUT TO NO AVAIL.

A mysterious blue arm lays out all six heroes in one blow with a P-VAMM!

Again. No real mystery here. You printed the whale man right on the cover.

Although killer whales aren’t even whales. And this guy is neither. He’s just a large blue man in a silly onesie.

But lets pretend there’s a mystery a little longer.

Hugh Jones gloats about the success of the SECRET WEAPON, saying that it was a mistake to try to fight clowns with other clowns when they should have released their big gun from the start.

And now to dispose of the Avengers in the most painful and untraceable way.

Hugh Jones is the Roxxon President, btw.

BLAM!

MIGHTY THOR WOULD HAVE WORDS WITH THEE!

So Hugh Jones calls out Weapon-One again. And finally, pointlessly, we get the big reveal.

Weapon-One and Roxxon’s SECRET WEAPON was ORKA, THE HUMAN KILLER WHALER!

Except he’s not a killer whale, he’s not a whale, and he’s not even human, since he’s Atlantean.

You’re just a big misnomer, Orka.

Hugh Jones peaces out, telling Orka to bring him the pieces when he’s finished.

Thor throws mighty Mjolnir and though it FOOM!s but mightily, it does not put down the not-whale man.

Because after the Serpent Crown called Orka from the sea to join Brand, their technology enhanced him. His height, the thickness of his blubber, and even his strength has increased three-fold. So he barely felt Mjolnir or Thor punching him in the calf.

Moondragon immediately realizes the obvious flaw. Dude doesn’t have much in the way of psychic defense. So she blasts his brain with a brain blast, incapacitating him with pain.

See, you’re not fighting the average human warrior, Orka. You face two gods now.

Thor: “Zounds! The woman is unsufferably overbearing! When we do select new Avengers, I, for one, shall say her nay!”

And then he insists that he be allowed to battle the giant blue man fairly. Because clearly using a hammer is fair but using PSYCHIC POWERS is not.

Moondragon instantly points out that Thor is being a hypocrite. Also, what are you, a shonen? A bad guy has your friends kidnapped and you want a fair fight with the giant mook?

Also, she calls him insufferable. And since she’s psychic, I can’t help but headcanon that she read his mind on the quoted line and quibbled with his word choice.

And then a bad happens. Orka is actually so dumb that there’s not much brain to blast.

So when he realizes that the pain won’t get any worse, he finds new resolve and punches Moondragon with his giant ham fist.

I’m not actually sure if that’s how psychic powers work actually. Does Jean Grey ever have these problems?

Thor is alarmed that Moondragon has been brought down but he’s sure that she’ll be up any second to bedevil him with her delusions of superiority and... any second now? Moondragon??

K-KRAM!

Meanwhile, Hugh Jones and Buzz Baxter have changed into silly matching jumpsuits. I guess they’re science suits because they’re messing with an electro-incinerogram machine.

One flick of a switch and there won’t even be ashes left of the Avengers. Clearly this complicated machine where people have to be strapped into a very specific way is the ultimate solution to enemies and half the world wants to buy one from Brand/Roxxon.

Clearly.

For when bullets are too efficient, you can always rely on an electro-incinerogram.

Also, Hugh Jones says something truly special.

Hugh Jones: “They’re really mixing it up out there, Baxter! But even a god has his limits -- while a corporation doesn’t!”

Man. That crown. Did a number on Hugh Jones’ perception of reality.

Anyway. Between the two of them, Hugh Jones is also the one clutching the Villain Ball hard. Instead of killing the Avengers now, he wants to wait to see how the fight turns out.

Which would be one thing if he’s hedging his bets in case Thor wins and he needs leverage. But when Thor wins he decides to electroincinerate the Avengers anyway. So, yeah, I dunno.

Meanwhile, Buzz Baxter wants to zap them right away. Even and especially his wife, Patsy Walker, Hellcat. Because she divorced him.

Geez, guy.

Meanwhile, back at the fight, Thor hits Orka so hard that the guy launches through the roof of Brand. Phyliss and Ben Green must be so alarmed right now.

Anyway, Orka gloats that despite being punched through walls and roofs, he’s barely scathed. The days of being bested by Namor are over. He’s truly invincible and people of Thor’s size must always fall to him, despite pretensions of divinity.

Thor decides that maybe people from the ocean’s depths haven’t learned about the GOD OF THUNDER.

And suddenly it’s storming.

And Mjolnir is whirling. And Thor is sharing. A big ol’ ZOT! of lightning. And the music was not soothing.

Orka is blasted right off the roof.

And now it is Thor’s own time for a badass boast.

Thor: “Not all of those my size be humans, Orka! Thor is one of the immortals from far-off fabled Asgard -- and most unlike Prince Namor or any other!”

And while smashing the crap out of Orka, Thor realizes faintly that he is saying the very things Moondragon was trying to convince him of. That he is far, far more than the other mortal Avengers.

But he’s got that viking berserker rage going on so he doesn’t let it interrupt him.

Meanwhile, Buzz Baxter has an opportunity to have a human moment when he looks at the unconscious Patsy/Hellcat and muses on their history together.

Instead, he calls her a dumb broad that never grew up or really got out of Centerville. And now he’s a big wheel in the world’s largest conglomerate and she’s about to die. And he can’t say he’s sorry because she chose to leave him.

So he failed that opportunity. But he has another, more different opportunity. To get his ass kicked.

Hellcat woke up at some point during Buzz Baxter’s Evil Villain speech, broke her bindings, and tackled him.

Buzz Baxter does okay for a bit. Kicks her with a PLUNT! which I have to wonder if its a very tasteless visual gag.

But she kicks his face (all that recent practice came in handy!) and gives him the business.

Buzz Baxter: “You’ve got guts, Pat! That’s what I always liked about you! But you haven’t got the sense of a goose! Orka may have slipped up on you -- but you shouldn’t have given me a chance --”

Hellcat: “To do what? To sink any lower than you already have? I loved you, Buzz! You were the only boy I ever wanted! I married you! I took care of you!”

Buzz Baxter: “All right! All right! Peddle it to Mary Hartman! So you’ve got a broken heart and a super-suit! So what?”

Hellcat: “So free my friends, lover-boy -- or I’ll scratch your eyes out!”

Nice.

Also: Broken Heart and a Super-Suit sounds like it should be the name of something. Like... a superhero romcom or something. Iunno.

Meanwhile:

Thor: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” BOM!

Thor finishes off Orka.

The giant Atlantean could take a lot of abuse but “not the full, unfettered force -- of a god!”

And then Moondragon pops back up. She wasn’t unconscious the whole time. She was actually playing possum. So that Thor would see things her way. She realized she had to let him see for himself that he was the equal of all of his fellow Avengers, what with soloing the dude that took out the whole team in a punch.

Thor doesn’t look too happy at that.

But do you know who else isn’t happy with how things shook out? Hugh Jones, Roxxon President.

He yells at Buzz Baxter to fry the Avengers and runs down to check on him when he doesn’t answer.

Except, womp womp, the Avengers have been freed. And they are very disappointed in him.

No but they honestly do have that sort of ‘we’re not mad, we’re just disappointed’ look to them. Except Vision. He always looks livid. And Beast, who looks quite puckish.

So that’s two presidents that the Avengers dethroned today. Not bad.

Epilogue: Beast checks on how Patsy is holding up after she kicked the crap out of her ex-husband. Regrets, she has a few. With what happened between them. But she doesn’t regret paying him back for what he did to her and their marriage or forcing him to free the Avengers, obviously. But, y’know, emotions are complicated and sometimes don’t make sense.

Meanwhile, Captain America asks the leading question that doesn’t really make much sense but has to be asked. Gee, Thor, why couldn’t you beat Orka until that last punch? Asks Captain America, who I guess never fought a guy he had to wear down.

Thor explains a thing. A thing that is very important for people that like to pointlessly and pedantically debate power levels on the internet.

See, Thor is the god of thunder. He’s pretty mighty. Says so on the cover of his book. And he’s also not so introspective. So it wasn’t until now that he realized how much he’s been limiting himself to battle alongside and against mortals.

If he hadn’t withheld his full might, he would have splattered a lot of the people he fought. But he has to admit that part of it was also to avoid humbling his friends, the Avengers, he came to act as less than he was.

Thor: “To thrill to the thunder of battle, I forgot I am the god thereof!”

Iron Man reflects. This all began when the Avengers began looking for a new roster. Who would have thought there would be so many epiphanies and shit along the way.

So they head back to Avengers mansion after a very long day and change. Its time to select that new roster.

So that ends the longish Brand Corporation/Squadron Supreme/Also Kang Is In The Old West Whaaaaaaaaaat?? storyarc.

Trying to do both stories gave parts weird pacing and I wasn’t fond of seeing Kang so soon again but I see that it was necessary-ish. Kang started as a threat so dangerous that he took out the whole team, Thor included. And only the assistance of the Teen Brigade (bleh) saved them. And then over further appearances, things progressed to the point where Thor by himself soloed the conqueror. Not only soloed him but was so beefy that Kang killed himself trying to beat him.

Its like Broke Your Arm Punching Cthulhu except with a villain and the action was entirely ineffectual.

That’s Thor. He blew a man up just by tanking super hard.

And it also kind of rainbow bridges the gap between Thor’s adventures in Asgard where he fights gods and his adventures on Midgard where he... doesn’t.

So, what does this all mean for the Avengers? Well, that unfolds over the next two issues: #150-151. And I’m going to try to do them both in one post. Because #150 is mostly rerun. I’d feel bad about posting a tardy post and a post where halfway through I just link to my Avengers #16 post and give up.

So next time: The Old Order Changeth:: Again.

[gontagokuhara]

a lil birdie told me u like talking bout ur trip pls I wanna hear what France n Spain r like :ooo (I love ur writing btw :>)

HI!!!!!

so. like ive said, i went to france and spain a few months back and it was an Amazing Time. theres so much to talk about and i dont want to flood dashboards so ill put this under a read more :0

france:

-our group spent 2 hours in customs in charles de gaulle airport. it was hot, the middle of the night my regular time, about 9 am france time, and by the time we got out of customs it was nearly 11:30-that was like…..the only low point? th organization we travelled through groups up smaller groups into large groups (like 40-50 people?) and we were waiting on the other groups from ohio, oregon, and new jersey (remember those groups, they become important later) for another like 3ish hours? -the airport was rly interesting though! it was all of the kids in our groups first exposure to an environment that wasnt all in english, so it gave us time to practice our french listening to announcements/buying stuff/etc! there was also. a lot of green berets with assault rifles all over the place (and they were really all over france. im not sure what theyre about but theyre Everywhere)-around 2-3 we get on a bus with the new jersey + ohio groups and go to notre dame cathedral! the first thing we noticed leaving the airport was that it is hot as balls in france. its humid and the sun is oppressive as hell but the Big Plus was that there are. literally 0 bugs. i didnt see a single bug my whole trip it was fucking amazing-our first day was pretty lowkey; we basically just went to notre dame, broke for lunch, and then hung out in that general area until dinner!-our second day in france was Very Jam Packed with shit and was simultaneously my favorite and least favorite day? our plan was to ascend the eiffel tower in the morning and visit versailles in the afternoon, but the eiffel tower was closed bc of a security issue so we flipped our schedule!-we toured all around versailles palace and while it was very interesting and beautiful i lowkey had an anxiety attack bc people kept holding onto me and grabbing me and it was very hot and overwhelming. things really looked up when we looked around the gardens!-after that + lunch we went back to the eiffel tower and got to go up at night!!! which was beautiful. also, it doesnt get dark in france Or spain until like 10 pm? its very odd but really really cool! and it makes you feel less tired. our curfew was a little earlier than we thought so we couldnt make the line to go to the very top, but we went to the middle section and i have some Iconique selfies up there. when we went down again we bought some stuff at the little gift shops and i got the best slushie ive ever had and it was super fun:0-third day was a pretty long bus tour and then the louvre! the bus tour yielded like 300 pictures and the only thing me nd my mom rly cared about was seeing the mona lisa, so we hung out the rest of the time in shops and stuff!-fourth day we took a bullet train from paris to avignon and honestly the most iconic bit of that day was running around the train stop stores and buying all the french candy we could find. after that we went to pont du gard and toured the area around there, which was really beautiful! also? the toilets in pont du gard? Do Not Have Toilet Paper. dont even have paper towels. not even because theyre out, but like. theres no toilet paper holders or anything. -after that (same day!) was provence! we toured an old structure the first part of provence, and then shopped the rest! unfortunately i got really sick at the end of that day (but not before i bought Ten Bars Of Soap)-the fifth day i was nearly fuckin dead with sickness lol so i stayed behind in the hotel ;( i got to reconnect with friends on the shitty wifi that day though! (blows smooches at the jump discord)-sixth day we had like. a 5 hour bus ride from th south of france to barcelona. i listened to a Lot Of Muic. 

spain:

-we didnt have time for really anything by the time we got to barcelona, but that was okay because i think we all really needed the day to recharge!-first full day in barcelona we toured the area around la sagrada familia ! we didnt get to get that close but i have really beautiful pictures! we also went to the picasso museum that day which was…..really boring. me and my friends were dying in there. we got separated from the ohio group (aka the cool group) and we got stuck with the new jersey group which succed but whateevr! after that we hung around in the city for a while before going back-the second day in barcelona was probably my favorite of the whole trip, which is kind of weird to say because i loved paris so much? but i think my kinda sour experience at versailles ust barely edges out that day as my favorite, so! we toured park guell (which is GOREGOUS) and it was great because the heat wasnt that bad And our tour leader got to see his wife!!! me and my mom got fuckin lost lol and we had to navigate through with shitty spanish to find our group. after that we went to this giant mall (seriously, its like 5 stories) that used to be a giant arena but they converted! most of the group went to a flamenco show, but me, my friend kiya, my french teacher and his daughter passed so we could explore the mall. me nd kiya fucked off and i showed her around lush for like a half hour, she bought a bunch of comics in spanish and we bought a whole lot of other shit!!! it was super super fun and it was probably my favorite day-our last full day we went to the beach! and christ this post is long enough already but someone remind me to tell the wild fucking story that is the beach in barcelona girls in relation to the oregon girls, lack of card checking, and the yelling match between a blanket salesman and an ohio chaperone. it’s fucking nuts.-and then we flew home at like 2 am! theres a whole other layer to the light home that i wont go into detail on here becasue God This Is So Long, but if any1 is interested on some of the more minor details of the trip please shoot me an ask i love talking abt my trip:0