#comfort: experiencing freedom for the first time

[uisceb]

Endlessly baffled every time I see people water down Glinda’s actions in Defying Gravity to “oh she was too cowardly or too selfish to stand by Elphaba,” as if she didn’t spend that entire sequence from Chistery’s transformation onward doing everything in her very limited power to keep Elphaba safe.

Like the second things start going wrong, Glinda’s entire focus switches to “keep Elphaba safe at all costs.” This girl does not have any magic. She does not have any physical survival skills. She probably has no idea how to throw a punch. She can barely run in those heels. Her one power is her charm and her ability to work a crowd. She is desperately trying to get Elphaba to come back with her not because she agrees with what the Wizard and Morrible are doing, but because she thinks maybe if she can just smooth things over, Elphaba will be forgiven, and she’ll be safe. 

In that regard, there’s a very obvious selfishness to Glinda’s actions - she lacks perspective; she lacks scope; she prioritizes Elphaba over what we as the audience would understand as the “Greater Good” and over her own morals about what’s going on with the Wizard’s agenda; she’s visibly horrified by what happens to Chistery but her first instinct is to comfort Elphaba above all else, despite having no understanding of what's happening.

I am the last person who’s ever going to argue that Glinda isn’t selfish, because she very clearly is, it’s one of her defining characteristics, and it’s one of the main things she has to learn to overcome in order to actually become “Glinda the Good.” This is in no way me trying absolve my very selfish girl who very much made the wrong decision.

But it does kinda boggle my mind when I see the argument that Glinda betrayed Elphaba or is a “fake friend.” Especially because ultimately she comes to the conclusion that the best thing she can do for Elphaba in this moment is to let her go. She knows she would only hinder Elphaba if she were to go with her, she knows there’s no happy ending for them if she tries to run away with her (I think in that moment she might even suspect there’s no happy ending at all). Elphaba is going through her own personal revelation which is beautiful in its own right, but it’s also impulsive, and there’s a certain level of unsustainable grandiose fantasy to it. Glinda almost lets herself be swept up in it for a moment, but her rational side kicks in, because, of the main trio, Glinda really is the most grounded in reality.

I’ve seen a lot of weirdly smug people out there proudly saying if Fiyero was there he definitely would’ve gotten on the broom with Elphaba - and honestly, I think they’re probably right. But it’s not because he’s somehow morally superior to Glinda, or that his love for Elphaba is more pure. Our boy is depressed, he’s nihilistic, he’s lost, and truly doesn’t have any attachments to anyone.

He was genuinely moved by Elphaba’s fearless convictions and he fell hard and fast for her, so I agree he’d be on that broom in a heartbeat, he quite literally has nothing to lose, and everything to gain. He’s found himself wanting to believe in something for the first time because Elphaba brought that out in him, his whole world revolves around her. And that’s very romantic, but because of that, the stakes are much lower. For him, leaving everything behind wouldn’t be a sacrifice, it would be freedom.

Glinda’s gone through the world much differently, much more carefully. She doesn’t have Fiyero’s sense of nihilism or detachment, she’s lashed herself tight to the reality of the world around her. Where Fiyero has been regularly kicked out of schools and freely wandered from place to place experiencing new things and getting into trouble on purpose, Glinda has never stepped outside the predictable comfort and safety of her bubble until meeting Elphaba. She lives in constant fear of failure and being looked down on. She is forever clinging to this persona she’s created because she’s terrified of what will happen if she’s anything less than perfect.

She has constructed her entire existence around being an icon rather than a person - in the beginning, she literally doesn’t know how to be her own self, she’s just barely learning, because of Elphaba. And it scares the shit out of her. 

Fiyero would likely play action hero if he was there for Defying Gravity, and that’s great, but Glinda is weighing a million things in her head, not least of which is “holy shit the person I love most in the world is in imminent danger and I have no magic and no strength to keep her safe, so I will beg and plead and insult and fight her tooth and nail to keep her with me inside my privileged bubble because maybe I can smooth this over, maybe everything will be okay if I just do what I always do and use my privilege to get my way.” She understands the rules of her world, so she’s going to play by those rules because that’s how you win the game.

Elphaba, of course, refuses to play a corrupt game at all, and Glinda gets angry - she lashes out at Elphaba because Elphaba has just put herself in such a dangerous situation, and Glinda is completely powerless to change it. Every little bit of control Glinda is used to having is obliterated.

Her “Maybe you’re not as powerful as you think you are” when Elphaba doesn’t grow wings is so desperate - the words border on cruel, but her tone is both painfully apologetic and above all filled with RELIEF because while her heart hurts for Elphaba, she’s terrified that Elphaba would hurt herself the way Chistery was hurt, and she’s cleaving to the hope that maybe if Elphaba isn’t as powerful as she thinks she is, Glinda stands a chance at undoing the damage, and protecting her. 

Glinda’s selfishness is just so fascinating to me because it’s so rich and so contradictory - she loves Elphaba so deeply and destructively that she fully paralyzes herself when the chips are down and it breaks them both. She fails to be what Elphaba wants her to be, and she fails to be a good person, but there’s no “fake friend” about her actions - she is acting on pure desperation to keep this person she loves safe in literally the only way she knows how, at the cost of everything else, including what’s right, which is something Elphaba could never abide by. Elphaba would never compromise her own morals, but at this point in the story Glinda is willing to compromise everything as long as Elphaba is tucked away in her bubble with her, and that difference in values is irreconcilable to both of them. 

So, realizing this, Glinda does the one last thing she can think of to protect her at this point, and wraps a cloak around her shoulders to keep her warm. That’s all that’s left.

She’s selfish and she’s cowardly and she’s brave and she’s loving and she fails Elphaba and she fails herself and she regrets her decision for the rest of her life and yes I am writing all this with glass under my tongue and between my teeth, she makes me insane.

[leneemusing]

HYPER SPECIFIC SMUT PROMPTS

note: some of these may include kinks and fetish dynamics which might be squicks for some (tw for power imbalances, dubious consent, breeding etc), proceed with caution and please feel free to cross out what you don't want to write when reblogging <3

ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

[ ARRANGED ] muses are in an arranged marriage and now have to consummate the union

[ EXES ] our muses broke up a few years ago, they run into each other at a party and end up having sex again

[ INFIDELITY ] our muses used to date but it didn't work out, they're now both in relationships but end up in an affair together. this prompt is for their first time entering the affair.

[ AFFAIR ] our muses have been having an affair and receiver tries to stop but ends up having sex again, claiming it's the last time.

[ POWER ] sender is receiver's boss and knows receiver has a crush on them. they decide to act on it late night during closing.

[ CRUSH ] receiver is sender's boss and knows sender has a crush on them. they decide to act on it late night during closing.

[ TEACH ] receiver is sexually inexperienced and approaches sender to ask them to teach them and help them get more experience after they had a bad date.

[ TAUGHT ] sender is sexually inexperienced and approaches receiver to ask them to teach them and help them get more experience after they had a bad date.

[ TUTOR ] muse A has been tutoring muse B in a subject they struggle with. after a long session which has both of them frustrated, they end up having sex on the table and ruin the books.

[ TUTORING ] continuing the above scenario, the tutor quizzes the pupil while stimulating them. every time the pupil gets a question wrong they are edged or punished in some way.

[ LEARN ] our muses are in college together, muse A is popular and socially adept but has bad experiences with keeping a romantic partner. muse B is shy and has a smaller friend group but the friendships are more emotionally deep than anything A has experienced. the two muses are in a study group together and strike up a conversation in which they come to a deal: muse B will help A become more academically cultured and emotionally sensitive enough to get the partners they want. in return muse A will help with muse B's social standing. they begin a sexual relationship under the guise of helping muse B come out of their shell but really muse A just has a crush on them all while B thinks they're being used.

[ FIGHT ] our muses are leaders on opposing sides of a war. they have known each other before the war and now their sexual tension is worsened while trying to negotiate a truce. while disagreeing on terms they have rough sex, each one trying to dominate the other.

[ BATTLE ] our muses are soldiers and on the eve of a battle they might not survive they have sex together

[ CAPTIVE ] receiver is sender's captive and has been trying to wear them down over time by connecting emotionally. they initiate sex in hopes it will buy them freedom. (up to you if it's genuine on both sides or only manipulation)

[ CAPTIVATED ] sender is receiver's captive and has been trying to wear them down over time by connecting emotionally. they initiate sex in hopes it will buy them freedom. (feel free to specific circumstances of captivity)

[ FRIENDS ] our muses have been best friends for a long time. lately one or both have had bad luck with dating and just want some comfort so they decide to have sex.

[ SPELL ] our muses must have sex for a magic ritual which requires multiple rounds from 3 am until sunrise.

[ HEIR ] muse A is the leader of the nation and has not been able to produce an heir (feel free to specify reason), muse B has been selected by their doctors and council to try and bare their children.

[importantpuppystarfish]

Wonyoung loves her Father ❤️

Male reader/Father x Wonyoung

Warning: incest, dad x daughter, anal, pissing, face-sitting, less plot

just a fluff+smut type stuff.. note that they are already in a relationship just having their first time

Wonyoung and her father had been looking forward to their picnic trip for weeks, a rare opportunity for the 19-year-old idol to escape the relentless schedules of her life under her Agency and spend quality time with the man she loves most.

Her father, a 50-year-old who has always been her biggest supporter, planned the day meticulously, knowing how much Wonyoung needed a break from the pressures of her idol career. They drove to a secluded lakeside park a few hours from the city, the car filled with the sound of Wonyoung’s laughter as she sang along to her favorite songs, her father joining in with a playful grin.

Wonyoung, dressed in a a very revealing outfit for the picnic, felt a sense of freedom she rarely experienced, her long dark hair flowing in the breeze as they rolled down the windows, the fresh air filling her lungs with a sense of peace.

At the park, they set up a picnic blanket under a large oak tree, the lake shimmering in the sunlight as they unpacked a basket filled with Wonyoung’s favorite foods—fresh strawberries, sandwiches, and a small cake her father had baked himself. Wonyoung’s eyes lit up as she saw the cake as she exclaimed, “Dad, you made this for me? You’re the best!” Her father chuckled, his eyes warm with affection as he replied, “Anything for my darling girl. I know how much you love chocolate.” They spent the afternoon eating, laughing, and sharing stories, Wonyoung telling her father about her latest IVE performance, her father listened with rapt attention, his pride evident in his smile. They took a walk along the lake, holding hands as they watched the ducks swim by, Wonyoung rested her head on his shoulder.

As the sun began to set, they decided to check into a nearby hotel for the night, not wanting to end their day together just yet. The hotel room was cozy and elegant, with a large bed adorned with red pillows and a white comforter, the perfect setting for the intimate moment they would share.

Wonyoung is still wearing the outfit from the image -> a strapless tan top and matching pants with a decorative belt—wanting to look pretty for her father, her long dark hair cascading over her shoulders as she lay on the bed, two hats resting above her head as a nod to their picnic day “You look beautiful, Wonyoung,” her father said, his voice filled with admiration, causing a shy blush to creep up her cheeks as she looked down, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her top. “Thank you, Dad,” she murmured.

Her father sat beside her, his gaze warm and loving as he looked down at her, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from her face. “You’re so beautiful, my darling,” he said, his voice low and tender, his fingers lingering on her cheek as he traced the delicate curve of her jaw.

Wonyoung’s heart fluttered at his touch, her cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink as she looked up at him, her large eyes filled with a mix of love and shyness. “Dad… you always say that,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Her father chuckled softly, his hand cupping her cheek as he leaned down, his face hovering just above hers, his breath warm against her skin. “I say it because it’s true,” he murmured as he closed the distance between them, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Wonyoung’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she felt the warmth of his love wash over her, her shyness melting away under his tender touch. “I love you so much, Dad,” she whispered looking up at him with a gaze full of adoration. Her father smiled, his eyes shining with love as he replied, “I love you too, Wonyoung. More than anything in the world.”

He leaned down again, this time kissing her lips in a soft, loving kiss, his mouth moving gently against hers as he poured all his affection. Wonyoung’s heart raced as she kissed him back, her lips trembling slightly from her shyness, but the warmth of his kiss made her feel safe and cherished. She reached up, her hands resting on his shoulders as she pulled him closer, her fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt as she deepened the kiss, her shyness giving way to a quiet confidence in their love. Their lips moved together in a slow. She tilted her head, deepening the kiss as she pressed herself closer to him, her hands sliding down to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her fingers.

As their kisses deepened, her father’s hands began to roam gently over her body, his touch light and reverent as he traced the curve of her collarbone, his fingers brushing against the soft skin exposed by her strapless top.

Wonyoung’s breath hitched at the sensation, a shy giggle escaping her lips as she looked up at him, her cheeks flushed with a mix of excitement and nervousness. “Dad… that tickles,” she said softly. Her father chuckled, his hand sliding down to rest on her waist, his touch warm and comforting as he leaned in to kiss her again, his lips trailing from her mouth to her jaw, then down to the sensitive skin of her neck. “I want to make you feel good, my daughter,” he murmured against her skin, his voice low and filled with love as he pressed a soft kiss to her pulse point, causing Wonyoung to shiver with delight.

Wonyoung’s shyness returned as her father’s kisses moved lower, his lips brushing against the tops of her breasts, exposed by the strapless top, his hands gently tugging at the fabric to reveal more of her skin. “Dad… I… I’m a little nervous,” she admitted, looking up at her dad, her cheeks burning with a deep blush. Her father paused as he cupped her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek in a soothing gesture. “You don’t have to be nervous, Wonyoung,” he said, his voice gentle and reassuring. “I love you, and I’ll always take care of you. We can stop if you want.” Wonyoung shook her head, her shyness giving way to trust as she reached up to touch his face, her fingers trembling slightly as she smiled. “No… I want this,” she whispered, her voice filled with love. “I trust you, Dad. I love you.”

Her father smiled, he leaned to kiss her again, his lips kissing hers in a deep, tender kiss that made Wonyoung’s heart race, her shyness melting away under the warmth of his affection.

Now, he slowly moved down her body, his hands gentle as removed her clothes. He started sucking her breasts, pressing & squeezing one and eating the another. Wonyoung moans loudly. He, then slid her top down more, revealing her slender waist, his lips trailing soft kisses along her stomach, each one filled with love and adoration.

Wonyoung’s starts to feel nervous as he reached the waistband of her pants, his fingers carefully undoing the belt with the decorative chain. Wonyoung's cheeks flushed more..

Her father gently slid her pants down, revealing her delicate underwear, his hands warm against her skin as he pressed a soft kiss to her inner thigh. Wonyoung’s breath caught in her throat, her hands gripping the sheets, her shyness returning as she bit her lip, her eyes darting away. “Dad… I’ve never… I mean, not like this,” she admitted. Her father looked up at her, his expression filled with love as he reached for her hand. “I’ll be gentle, my daughter,” he said, his voice soothing as he kissed her hand, his lips lingering on her knuckles. “I just want to show you how much I love you. You’re my beautiful girl, and I want you to feel good.” Wonyoung’s heart swelled at his words, her voice soft as she replied, “I love you too, Dad. I trust you.”

Her father smiled as he leaned down, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, his kisses soft and teasing as he moved closer to her core. Wonyoung’s breath hitched as he gently slid her underwear down, revealing her fresh pink pussy. It was hella wet.

His hands warm and careful as he positioned himself between her legs, his touch gentle as he pressed a soft kiss to her pussy, his lips warm against her sensitive skin. Wonyoung let out a soft gasp, her hands gripping the sheets tighter as she felt a wave of pleasure wash over her, her father began to explore her pussy with his mouth, his tongue moving in slow, gentle strokes that made her body tremble with delight.

“Oh, Dad…” Wonyoung whispered, her voice trembling with a mix of pleasure and shyness as she felt his tongue glide over her, his movements tender and loving as he focused on her pleasure, his hands holding on her thighs to keep her steady.

Her father’s touch was gentle, his lips and tongue working in a slow, deliberate rhythm that sent waves of warmth through her body. “You taste so sweet, Wonyoung,” he murmured against her, as he kissed her clit softly, his tongue circling the sensitive bud with care, causing Wonyoung to let out a louder moan, her cheeks flushing with a deep blush as she covered her face with her hands, her shyness returning in the face of such intimate affection.

“Dad… that feels… so good,” she admitted, her voice muffled by her hands, her body trembling with pleasure as he continued to eat her pussy, his movements gentle and loving, his focus entirely on making her feel cherished.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, my darling,” he said, his tone filled with love.

Wonyoung's father moved up, their lips meeting again letting Wonyoung to taste her own pussy through her father's mouth, loving kisses that spoke of their deep connection.

“That was… so amazing, Dad,” Wonyoung said.

“Wonyoung, my daughter… I want to make you feel even better,” he said, his tone gentle but with a hint of excitement. “Will you sit on my face? I want to taste you more, to love you in every way.”

Wonyoung’s eyes widened at his request, her cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red as a wave of shyness and nervousness.. she bit her lip, her voice trembling as she replied, “Dad… I… I’ve never done that before… I’m really nervous.”

Her father smiled, “You don’t have to be nervous, my beautiful girl,” he said, his tone filled with love. “I’ll guide you, and we’ll go slow. I just want to make you feel good, to show you how much I love you. But if you don’t want to, we don’t have to.” Wonyoung’s heart raced at his words, “Okay, Dad… I trust you… I want to try.” Her father’s smiled, his hand squeezing hers gently as he kissed her lips again, his voice filled with gratitude. “Love you my darling,” he said. “I’ll take care of you.”

He lay back on the bed, positioning himself flat on his back with his head resting on the red pillows, his hands reaching out to guide Wonyoung as she moved to straddle him, her movements hesitant and shy as she positioned herself above his face, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she looked down at him, her voice trembling with nervousness. “Dad… I don’t know if I’m doing this right,” she admitted, her hands gripping the headboard for support as she hovered above him, her long hair falling around her face like a curtain, she avoided his gaze. As Wonyoung sat on his face, her father reached up, his hands resting on her hips as he guided her gently, his voice soothing as he spoke. “You’re doing perfectly, Wonyoung,” he said, his tone filled with love. “Just lower yourself down more, and I’ll take care of the rest. I’ve got you, my darling.”

Wonyoung nodded, her breath hitching as she positioned herself, her pussy hovering just above his face, “I’m so sorry Dad… I hope you're okay…”

Her father’s hands tightened on her hips, his touch reassuring as he pulled her down gently, his lips brushing against her pussy in a soft, loving kiss that made Wonyoung gasp, her hands gripping the headboard tighter as a wave of pleasure washed over her.

“You’re more than okay, my beautiful girl,” he murmured against her

As he began to eat her pussy more deep, his tongue moving in slow, gentle strokes that sent shivers through her body, his lips sucking her clit softly as he focused on her pleasure. Wonyoung let out her loud moan, her body trembling as she felt his tongue glide over her.

“Oh, Dad… that feels so good,” she whispered, her voice trembling with a mix of pleasure and shyness as she looked down at him, her cheeks flushed with a deep blush, her eyes filled with love as she watched her own dad worship her with his mouth.

As her father continued to eat her pussy, his tongue delving deeper, circling her clit with gentle, rhythmic strokes, Wonyoung’s moans grew louder, her body trembling with pleasure as she felt herself drawing closer to another climax, her shyness giving way to the overwhelming sensation of his love.

But as the pleasure built, Wonyoung felt a sudden, unexpected pressure in her lower abdomen, a mix of her arousal and nervousness overwhelming her control, and before she could stop herself, she let out a soft gasp, her voice filled with panic as she whispered, “Dad… I… I think I'm gonna p-ee”

Her words were cut off as she accidentally peed, a huge stream of urine escaping her pussy and landing on her father’s face, her eyes widening in horror as she realized what had happened, her shyness turning to embarrassment as she tried to pull away, her voice trembling with shame.

“Oh no, Dad… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to… I’m so embarrassed!” But her father didn’t pull away, he grabbed her and his hands tightening on her hips again to keep her in place, his love for her unwavering as he continued to eat her pussy, his mouth and tongue accepting her fluids without hesitation, his mouth open as he drank her pee, her cum, and her pussy juice.

“It’s okay, my darling,” he murmured against her, his voice filled with warmth as he licked her clean, his tongue gentle and loving as he savored every part of her, his acceptance making Wonyoung’s heart swell with a mix of relief and love. “I love every part of you, Wonyoung. Don’t be embarrassed. You’re perfect to me.” Wonyoung’s eyes filled with tears of gratitude, her shyness and embarrassment fading as she felt his love wash over her, her voice soft and trembling as she whispered, “Dad… I'm so sorry. That was disgusting..”

But her father then, made her lay down to the bed, spread her legs and continued to eat her pussy, his tongue focusing on her clit with gentle, loving strokes, his hands also fingering her clit now as he brought her to another climax, his mouth accepting her cum and pussy juice as she came again, Wonyoung starts crying, her soft cries filling the room. “Dad… I’m… I’m coming again,” she gasped..

Her body shaking now as she came once again, her fluids mixing with her earlier release as her father drank it all.

Her father pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her as he aimed for her mouth to kiss her, his lips still glistening with her fluids, letting Wonyoung to taste her own fluids.. Wonyoung admitted "Dad, I guess I might really taste good", she laughed.

She looked up at him, she is now very deep in love. She bit her lip, her voice trembling with nervousness as she spoke. “Dad… I… I want you to fuck me now” Wonyoung said, her words barely audible as she looked down, her fingers fidgeting with the sheet, her shyness evident in the way she avoided his gaze.

“Dad, I'm so sorry. I want to feel you inside me.. Could it be possible?.”

Her father in joy, replied, “Oh, Wonyoung… I love you my daughter. I’d love to make love to you, to show you how much you mean to me. Are you sure you’re ready?”

Wonyoung nodded, "but dad… there’s something else I want to try first,” she said. “I… I want to try giving you a blowjob… I’ve never done it before, and I’m curious… I want to make you feel good too, just like you did to me.”

“ I don’t know if I’ll be good at it dad”..

Her father chuckled, his hand cupping her cheek as he kissed her forehead, his voice reassuring as he spoke. “You’ll be perfect, my beautiful girl,” he said. “Just take your time, and I’ll help you."

Her father sat up against the headboard, his back resting on the red pillows as he slid off his trousers, revealing his erect cock, the sight making Wonyoung’s eyes widen, her cheeks flushing with a deep blush as she knelt between his legs, her hands trembling slightly. “Dad… it’s… it’s bigger than I thought,” she admitted as she bit her lip, her fingers hovering nervously above his cock, unsure of where to start.

Her father smiled, he guided her gently, his voice soothing as he spoke. “It’s okay, Wonyoung,” he said, his tone filled with love. “Just start slow. You can touch it first, get used to it. I’ll tell you what feels good.” Wonyoung nodded, her fingers trembling as she wrapped her hand around his cock, her touch light and tentative as she felt its warmth and hardness, her curiosity outweighing her nervousness as she began to stroke him gently, her movements slow and careful as she looked up at him, her eyes seeking his approval. “Is this okay, Dad?” she asked.. Her father let out a soft groan of pleasure. “That’s perfect, my darling,” he said, his tone thick with love. “You’re doing well. Just like that. Now take it in your mouth"

Wonyoung took him into her mouth slowly, her lips wrapping around the head of his cock as she began to suck gently, her tongue swirling around him with care, her hands resting on his thighs for support as she looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and love. “Am I doing okay, Dad?” she asked, her voice muffled around his cock. Her father groaned softly, his hand stroking her hair as he replied, his voice thick with pleasure. “You’re doing amazing, my daughter,” he said, his tone filled with adoration. “Just keep going, take your time. I love you so much.” Wonyoung continued, her confidence growing with his encouragement as she took him deeper into her mouth, her lips sliding down his dick as she sucked gently, her tongue exploring him with curiosity.. Her father’s moans grew louder, his hand guiding her gently as he spoke, his voice filled with love and pleasure. “Oh, Wonyoung… you’re so good at this considering its your first time” he said, his tone thick with emotion. “I’m so lucky to have you my beautiful girl.” Wonyoung’s heart swelled at his words, her shyness melting away as she continued to suck him, her movements becoming more confident as she felt his pleasure.

After a few minutes, her father gently pulled her off, his hands cupping her face as he looked at her with adoration, he has a greed to fuck his daughter now. “You were amazing, Wonyoung, but you know what? I think it's time to do what you asked prior to the blowjob” he said with his tone thick .

Her father gently laid Wonyoung on the bed, her long dark hair fanning out around her on the pillows, her naked body trembling. He positioned himself above her in the missionary position, his hands resting on either side of her head, his body hovering over hers as he leaned down to kiss her, Wonyoung's heart starts to race, her hands reaching up to wrap around his neck as she kissed him back, her love for him pouring into every mouthful kiss.

The missionary position allowed them to maintain close eye contact, their faces inches apart as they shared this intimate moment, their kisses filled with affection.. Her father’s body pressed against hers, his chest brushing against her small, perky breasts, the warmth of his skin against hers making her feel safe and loved, her legs spread slightly to accommodate him as he positioned himself at her entrance, his cock brushing against her pussy.

her father slowly pushed into her pussy, his cock sliding into her with care, his movements slow and gentle to avoid hurting her. Wonyoung let out a soft gasp, her hands gripping his shoulders as she felt him inside her.. “Oh, Dad… it feels… so good,” she moaned with a mix of pleasure and emotion as she felt him move inside her, his cock stretching her gently. Her father began to thrust fast now, the missionary position allowing him to lean down and kiss her continuously, their lips meeting in a deep, loving kiss as they made love, their tongues dancing together in a slow, Wonyoung’s moans soft and sweet as she felt him inside her.

“You’re so beautiful, Wonyoung,” her father murmured against her lips. “I remember your mom… you resemble her so much, especially when you moan and cry like that.” Wonyoung’s heart swelled at his words, a soft giggle escaping her lips as she kissed him back.. she replied, “Really, Dad? I look like Mom?” Her father nodded, his eyes shining with nostalgia as he spoke, his thrusts slowing for a moment as he shared the memory.

“Yes, my darling,” he said.. “Your mom had the same smile, the same sparkle in her eyes… she’d be so proud of you, Wonyoung, just like I am.”

Wonyoung’s eyes filled with tears of happiness, her love for her father deepening as she pulled him down for another kiss, her lips moving against his with passion and affection, their romantic fucking filled with love.. “I’m so happy to hear that, Dad,” she moaned again, her moans growing louder as she felt a wave of pleasure build inside her..

After their romantic fucking in the missionary position , Wonyoung's dad wanted to try anal on his daughter. He positioned Wonyoung in doggy style.

In this doggy style position, Wonyoung’s knees were spread apart on the bed, her ass raised high to give her father easy access to her shithole, her upper body supported by her elbows as she rested her chest on the pillows, her face turned to the side so she could look back at him, her long hair cascading over her shoulder. Her father knelt behind her, his hands resting on her hips to steady her, his cock already slick from their earlier lovemaking as he pressed the tip against her shithole, the warmth of her body making him ache with desire, his movements slow and careful as he began to push in, the tightness of her ass resisting him at first.

Wonyoung let out a sharp gasp as he entered her, the cock stretching her shithole intense and painful, the tightness of her ass—already packed with shit—adding to the discomfort as he pushed in slowly, his movements careful but unable to fully mitigate the pain of her first anal experience. “Oh, Dad… it hurts!” she cried out, her voice trembling with pain, her hands gripping the pillows tighter as she felt him inside her tight asshole, the pressure of her shit being pushed deeper adding to the intensity, her asshole tight and unprepared.

Her father paused, his hands tightening on her hips as he spoke, his voice filled with concern and love. “I’m so sorry my daughter,” he said, his tone soothing as he leaned down to kiss her ass cheecks. “We can stop if it’s too much, Wonyoung. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Wonyoung shook her head, her voice trembling with pain but also with resolve, her love for him giving her the strength to continue despite the discomfort. “No, Dad… I want this,” she whispered as she looked back at him, her eyes filled with tears of pain but also love. “I want us to be close… I can handle it… please keep going dad.” Her father smiled, he slapped her ass cheecks as he continued to push in slowly, his cock stretching her shithole further..

As he began to thrust slowly, his movements gentle and careful to minimize her pain, Wonyoung let out a series of soft screams, her shithole burning with the stretch, the pain sharp and overwhelming at first.

“Dad… it hurts so much!” she screamed softly, her voice breaking as she buried her face in the pillow, her hands gripping the fabric tightly, her body trembling with the effort to endure the pain.

Her father’s heart ached at her cries, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her hips, “You’re doing so well, Wonyoung… I’m so proud of you. Just try to relax, and it’ll get better, I promise.”

As he continued to fuck her ass, his movements fast and loving, Wonyoung felt a wave of pleasure build inside her, her moans growing louder.. Her father felt his own release approaching, his cock throbbing inside her tight shithole, the messiness of her state adding to the intensity of his pleasure…

“Wonyoung… I’m going to come my darling,” he said, his tone filled with love. “I love you so much.” Wonyoung nodded, her voice soft as she replied, “I’m close too, Dad… I love you too.”

With a few more hard thrusts, her father came inside her ass, his cum filling her shithole, mixing with her liquid juices as he groaned softly, his hands holding her hips as he released, his love for her evident in every shudder of his body. Wonyoung came at the same time, her pussy clenching as she felt a wave of pleasure crash over her.. Her father slowly pulled out, the messiness of her shithole evident as a mix of his cum leaked out.. Wonyoung’s heart swell with love.

“Dad… that was… so intense,” she whispered.. “The anal hurted a lot so much… but I’m so happy we did it. I feel so close to you.”

Her father smiled, his hand stroking her hair as he kissed her lips, his voice filled with adoration. “I’m so proud of you, Wonyoung,” he said, his tone thick with love. “You were so brave… just like your mom. I remember how she’d always push through tough things for the people she loved… you’re so much like her, my darling.” Their lips met in a deep, loving kiss, their tongues dancing together Again.. “I love hearing about Mom, Dad,” Wonyoung whispered against his lips..

“What else was she like? Did she like picnics too like me?” Her father smiled.. “Oh, she loved picnics,” he said, his tone warm with nostalgia. “We’d take you to the park when you were little… you’d run around with your little pigtails, and she’d chase after you, laughing so hard. She always said you were her little sunshine… just like you’re mine now..”

[lotuswish]

˗ˏˋ what loving you feels like to them (pt. 3 - heartslabyul) ♡ .ᐟ

synopsis: have you ever wondered what falling in love feels like for each twisted wonderland boy? this series explores love from their perspective-how their personalities, experiences, and desires shape what loving you means to them.

featured character(s): riddle rosehearts, trey clover, cater diamond, ace trappola, deuce spade.

content warning(s): none.

a/n: what loving you feels like to them might occasionally use the same words, but those words mean something a little different for each of them. it might sound familiar, but it's still their own!

link(s): (masterlist) (pt. 1 - scarabia) (pt. 2 - savanaclaw) (pt. 3 - you are here) (pt. 4 - ignihyde) (pt. 5 - pomefiore) (pt. 6 - octavinelle) (pt. 7 - diasomnia)

riddle rosehearts

loving you feels like uncharted territory for riddle rosehearts—an unfamiliar but undeniable pull that challenges everything he thought he knew about himself and the world. it’s unsettling at first, like stepping out of a perfectly ordered garden into a wild, untamed forest. riddle has spent his life living by rules, adhering to structure, and keeping emotions tightly controlled. but loving you doesn’t follow the rules. it doesn’t fit neatly into the framework he’s built for himself. and yet, it feels right in a way that nothing else ever has.

loving you feels like freedom, though he’s reluctant to admit it. for so long, he’s been bound by expectations—those of his mother, his peers, and even his own rigid standards. but when he’s with you, he begins to realize there’s more to life than perfection and discipline. you show him the beauty in imperfection, the joy in spontaneity, and the strength in being vulnerable. it’s both petrifying and exciting to let his walls down, to trust you with the parts of himself he’s always kept hidden.

at first, loving you feels like a struggle—a battle between his need for control and the overwhelming feelings you bring out in him. he overthinks, questions himself, and tries to rationalize emotions that defy logic. but over time, he begins to see that love isn’t something to be mastered or contained; it’s something to be experienced. you teach him that it’s okay to let go, to make mistakes, and to be human. and in doing so, you give him a kind of peace he didn’t know he was missing.

loving you also feels like growth. you challenge him, not by opposing him outright, but by simply being yourself—kind, patient, and unafraid to push back when needed. you help him see the world beyond the rules he’s lived by for so long, showing him that kindness and understanding are just as important as discipline and structure. with you, he feels like he’s becoming the person he was always meant to be—not the perfect son or the flawless student, but riddle, someone who can love and be loved in return.

for riddle, it goes beyond breaking free from his past or discovering joy in the present; it’s the chance to create a future where he can fully embrace his true self, with you by his side. you are his first taste of a world without restrictions, a world filled with warmth, understanding, and connection. loving you feels like learning how to live, truly live, and it’s a lesson he’ll cherish forever.

trey clover

loving you feels like the calm after a summer rain to trey clover—refreshing, soothing, and full of a quiet kind of peace that feels like it was always meant to be. for someone who’s always been the dependable one, the quiet supporter in the background, love feels like finding someone who sees him for more than his reliability. with you, it’s not about what he can give or do for others; it’s about being appreciated for who he is, without the weight of expectations. it’s a gentle, comforting feeling, like coming home after a long day and knowing he’s exactly where he belongs.

to trey, loving you feels natural, like something that was meant to be. he’s not one for dramatic declarations or grand gestures, but his love for you is woven into every little thing he does—remembering how you like your tea, baking your favorite treats when he notices you’ve had a hard day, or simply listening when you need to talk. it’s the small, everyday moments that make up the fabric of his love, each one a reflection of the deep care he feels for you.

at the same time, loving you feels like balance. trey is used to being the caretaker, the one who looks out for others, but with you, it’s different. you remind him that it’s okay to lean on someone else, to let himself be cared for too. your presence in his life is a gentle reminder that he doesn’t always have to be the responsible one, that he can let his guard down and simply be himself. that kind of mutual support is something he’s never experienced before, and it makes his love for you all the more profound.

loving you also feels like discovery. trey is grounded and practical, but you bring out a lighter, more adventurous side of him, encouraging him to step out of his comfort zone and try new things. whether it’s exploring a hobby he never considered or sharing in your own passions, you make him feel like life is full of possibilities he hadn’t thought to explore. it’s not a drastic change, but a gentle shift, like sunlight filtering through the trees, casting everything in a new light.

for trey, loving you feels like the slow, steady rise of dough—something patient, deliberate, and fulfilling. it’s about embracing the small moments, treasuring the quiet joys, and allowing the connection to deepen naturally over time. with you, he feels like he’s found a partner who understands the beauty in simplicity, someone who makes his life sweeter just by being in it. loving you isn’t a whirlwind or a spark—it’s a constant flame, warm and enduring.

cater diamond

loving you feels like contradiction to cater diamond—thrilling and unnerving, freeing and suffocating, all at once. for someone who’s built his life around facades, hiding his true feelings behind smiles and filters, love feels raw and vulnerable in a way he’s never let himself experience before. it’s like standing in front of an open window, the breeze exposing everything he’s tried so hard to keep hidden. it’s exciting, but it’s also a little terrifying, because loving you means letting you see the parts of him he’s not sure are good enough.

to cater, loving you feels like being seen for the first time. he’s used to being everyone’s friend, the guy who’s always fun to be around, but you don’t just see the version of him he presents to the world—you see the cater who gets tired, who feels lonely even in a crowd, who wonders if he’ll ever truly belong. and instead of turning away, you stay. you remind him that he doesn’t have to perform to earn your love, that he’s enough just as he is. it’s a kind of acceptance he’s never dared to hope for, and it makes him love you all the more fiercely.

loving you also feels like a risk, like holding something precious in hands that don’t quite feel steady. cater is so used to keeping people at arm’s length, afraid of the pain that comes when they leave, but with you, he can’t help but pull you closer. it’s scary, how much he cares, because the more he lets you in, the more he fears losing you. but even that fear is worth it, because the time he spends with you makes him feel more alive than he ever thought possible.

at the same time, loving you feels like joy. it’s the kind of happiness that comes from the little things—a shared laugh, a stolen glance, the way you say his name like it’s something special. you bring light to the corners of his heart he didn’t even know were dark, and for someone who’s always chasing fun and excitement, you’re the first person who makes him want to slow down and savor every moment. with you, love isn’t a distraction or a game; it’s real, and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

for cater, loving you feels like taking off the mask he’s worn for so long and finally breathing freely. it’s messy and imperfect, but it’s also beautiful and real, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. you are his anchor in a world that often feels fleeting, the one thing that makes him believe in something lasting. loving you is the most frightening and wonderful thing he’s ever known, and it’s a risk he’ll gladly take every single day.

ace trappola

loving you feels like a challenge to ace trappola—one he didn’t realize he wanted to win until he was in the middle of it. love wasn’t something he thought about seriously; to him, it always seemed like one of those cheesy fairytale things other people made a fuss about. but with you, it feels real, and that terrifies him as much as it thrills him. loving you feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down into the unknown, yet grinning because he knows he’ll jump anyway.

to ace, loving you feels like being thrown off balance. he’s so used to keeping things lighthearted, dodging vulnerability with jokes and playful teasing, but you manage to see past all of that. you call him out when he’s being difficult, and instead of pushing you away, it makes him want to try harder. you don’t let him get away with his usual antics, and that’s part of what makes him love you—you’re not afraid to challenge him, to hold your ground, and that earns his respect in a way nothing else can.

loving you also feels like growth. ace is confident, but he’s not used to thinking about someone else’s feelings as much as his own. being with you teaches him to slow down, to consider your perspective, and to realize that love isn’t about winning or being right—it’s about compromise, patience, and effort. it’s not always easy for him, but he finds himself wanting to be better, not because he feels like he has to, but because you make him want to be someone worthy of your love.

at the same time, loving you feels like fun. ace has always had a knack for turning even the most mundane moments into something exciting, and with you, every day feels like an adventure. he loves the way you can banter with him, match his energy, and keep him on his toes. your relationship is full of laughter and lighthearted moments, but beneath it all is a deep connection that he doesn’t take lightly. with you, he feels like he can be himself—flaws, quirks, and all—and that kind of acceptance means more to him than he’ll ever admit out loud.

for ace, loving you feels like drawing a wild card in a hand he thought he’d already figured out, completely changing the game in the best way. it’s a mix of excitement, vulnerability, and the occasional frustration, but it’s also the most rewarding thing he’s ever experienced. you’re his equal, his partner, and his favorite person to annoy in the best possible way. loving you is unpredictable, exhilarating, and a little scary—but to him, it’s absolutely worth it.

deuce spade

loving you feels like redemption to deuce spade—raw, humbling, and deeply transformative. for someone who has spent so much of his life trying to leave his troubled past behind, love feels like proof that he’s on the right path. he feels something deeper than just affection for you—it’s how you make him see himself differently, like he’s capable of more than he ever thought. with you, he feels like he’s becoming the person he’s always wanted to be, someone strong, kind, and worthy of the life he’s trying to build.

to deuce, loving you feels like hope. he’s always been determined to prove himself, but with you, it’s not about proving anything. you don’t judge him for the mistakes he’s made or the parts of himself he’s still working on. instead, you see the potential in him, the good that he’s trying so hard to nurture, and that belief means more to him than he can put into words. you remind him that he’s more than his past, that he’s capable of being someone who deserves love and happiness.

loving you also feels like responsibility, but not in a burdensome way. deuce is fiercely protective by nature, and with you, that instinct is amplified tenfold. he wants to be your support, your rock, the one you can depend on no matter what. it’s not just about protecting you physically—it’s about being there for you emotionally, about making sure you always feel safe, valued, and cared for. it’s a role he takes seriously, and one he’s proud to fulfill.

at the same time, loving you feels like peace. deuce’s life has always been full of energy and turbulence, but with you, he finds a kind of calm he didn’t know he needed. you’re his anchor, the steady presence that keeps him grounded when his emotions threaten to get the better of him. with you, he doesn’t have to constantly push himself to be better—he can just be, and that’s enough. it’s a rare and precious feeling, one he holds onto with everything he has.

for deuce, loving you feels like a second chance. it’s the opportunity to rewrite his story, to be the kind of person who can give and receive love wholeheartedly. it’s not always easy—he’s still learning how to navigate his feelings and express them—but the thought of losing you is what drives him to keep trying. loving you is his greatest motivator and his greatest reward, and he knows he’s lucky to have you in his life. you’re not just his love—you’re his future, his hope, and his reason to keep striving for something better.

congrats on making it to the end! if you enjoyed this, likes, comments, follows, and reblogs are always appreciated—they help motivate me to keep creating and sharing!

[fishnapple]

The purpose of your life, why you're here

This reading is about finding the purpose of your life, why you're here, your current reincarnation (if you believe in reincarnation), or your soul, what you're born into this world to experience. All 6 groups share a similar theme of reaching your highest potential and having the focus on connections.

A similar reading was also done by @claudiafrankie, you can check out their reading here

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

ROSE QUARTZ

Keywords: inspiration, leading, expansion, mastery, mental power, innovation, connection to the psyche

I see the theme of big vs small, how we define our life, give meaning to it. Are we just a tiny entity that exists in the sea of existence, or are we the whole universe, embracing everything?

In your life, you will encounter many instances where you're asked to step forward, step outside, go out of your comfort zone. You will be put into experiences that tell you how knotted your life has been and how much it could unravel into something more spontaneous. There's a fight between wanting to focus on the physical plane, doing daily tasks perfectly, concern yourself with details, with what is happening around you and the need to do something bigger, having more impact and influence, to make a change to the world, to live the life you dream about. Confinement vs freedom.

You have a lot to tell, so much to share, so much to experience. At your core, you're an adventurer, a nomad, life is a journey that you need to keep moving. You want to achieve great things, leave a mark in this world and receive adoration from people. But the first step in your journey will be facing your wounds. They are the door that stands between you and the freedom outside. Are you ready to turn the doorknob and push that door? In the past, in your past lives, you might have experienced confinement, mentally, physically, spiritually. You kept standing there and facing the door but didn't decide what to do. So in this life, you're given a choice to choose again.

You might think the components to your success in life are outward actions, ambitions, and material achievements, showing how capable you are. Your mind is buzzing with ideas, with the future, always looking for a new way to do things better, to perfect what you're focusing on, like a windshield wipers working tirelessly on a stormy day. The next piece of information, the exciting new discoveries, the buzzing trends, they busy your mind until it becomes fatigued and obsessed.

Your purpose of this lifetime is to learn how to rest, when to stop, and how to use the information and resources you have gathered to build yourself up effectively. What defines you is not how much you have, how good you are at certain jobs, but how you master yourself and become the highest aspiration of yourself.

To do that takes patience and understanding of yourself. Turning inward, curbing the restless mind and impulses. You might be someone who is quite impatient or impulsive, wanting to execute right away the idea you have in mind, what you think of should be what you have, expecting results and excellence quickly, if things don't go well from the first try, you want to give up and change direction, change the method without giving the old ones enough time to develop. If you are this person, then life will give you many opportunities or challenges to slow you down, the more you try to act, to fix things, tossing ideas everywhere, going around in many directions at once, the more likely you are to be confined and forced to make a clear choice and commit to it. And you will have to choose wisely. How do you do it? By facing that door, those wounds, see how they are projected into your surroundings, your relationships with people, how you go around, anywhere, just to avoid them.

You're given a good pair of eyes (figuratively, or can be literally) to truly see, amidst all those busy movements, a path for yourself. A wide, unexplored path. Pushing the door, stepping out is scary, but you're brave and you will inspire many others to do the same.

LABRADORITE

Keywords: growth, healing, comfort, peace, helping, courage, accepting changes

I see the image of a sword or a cross. Your energy feels young and soft yet resilient and brave. Life gives you many challenges that would forge a sharp and strong blade inside you. The sword here is not for harming or conquest but for protection and striking the lock, through layers of fears that have been imprisoning you for a long time.

Your life is divided or, rather, balanced by two opposing forces and choices. One is the past, the habit, the way you chose to protect your safety. You might have a tendency to go along with other people's wishes or try to avoid direct confrontation for fear of disrupting the peace. This might be one of your defence mechanisms when dealing with life in general. You want to live in peace, quietly go about your way without obstruction and intrusion from outside. This creates a demure aura, in some way, a little submissive or malleable energy. You don't act this way because you want to gain something from other people. You just don't find it necessary to engage in confrontations that lead to dead-end.

The other side is something you're called to embrace more of in this lifetime. Your energy is soft and flowy, like water, but it needs a little solidifying into something more sturdy. It's the hardening of the core self. Hardening here does not have a negative connotation, it's not about building walls around yourself, closing your heart and spirit, acting cold and tough, it's not like that. It's about being more sure of yourself, giving yourself a sturdy and durable foundation, like how a pliable sprout would grow into a robust tree, standing tall and firm on the ground.

Work and career, material achievements will be the ground where you will see yourself grow the most in this lifetime. There will be opportunities and chances for you to break out of your nest and explore. The work environment will be dynamic and full of pleasant surprises. You will find support through the people you work with. A family member might be a crucial figure in your process of becoming the best version of yourself.

I feel a very giving nature, you have so much in yourself, so much to share, that inner abundance, with people, with life. But only when you release the attachments that keep you rooted in constricted safety. There might be hesitancy when trying to think about bigger aspirations, about your life dreams. You might think that those dreams are unrealistic or too far away. Your mind and your heart are going in the opposite direction. Your heart wants to look forward, to the distant, unexplored horizon, while your mind is occupied by anxiety and uncertainty. It's the root of the great divide between your past and your future.

But I think in this lifetime, things will change. Your life is in a great transition period. Events might happen quickly, surprises come more often. What you've been believing in, what you've been doing habitually might suddenly become strange and feel foreign to you. These changes are necessary, you might feel uncomfortable having to depart from what you've been attached to. But if you can muster enough courage to go against the usual, it will be a personal victory for you. You will successfully break the earth above you and shoot up, out of dormancy, to begin a new adventure.

RED JASPER

Keywords: manifestation, beauty, to connect, freedom, commitment, wish vs reality

It feels like you have a starter kit of manifesting love but you haven't learnt how to use them fully yet. Love and other connections will be the focal point of this lifetime for you.

You have a unique power of manifestation. Have you ever had some thoughts and then a few days or some time later, they came true?. Everything could manifest instantly that you might even be scared of your own thoughts, afraid that any "wrong" thought will result in a bad future. If you haven't realised this about yourself, be more mindful and observe how things work around you. Life will feel a lot more magical for you.

One of the reasons why your thoughts are so powerful is because you're given full reign, full freedom to experience this world. It's not something that you can easily realise and put into practise. There's no particular script nor strict rules for you to follow, you just need to experience as many things as possible. The best gift you have in this lifetime is freedom. I think this gift is something hard-earned from countless trials and hardships. The memories of distant pains might still linger somewhere deep inside you, keeping you from fully being free to dream. But no more rules and burdens. This life is meant to be savoured in its vastness. You're a born rebel. Carving your own path, going your own way, never settling, never being fully at ease with the present, always on the lookout for a different future.

And that's where relationships come in. One of the best ways to do that is through relationships and interacting with others. I see a tendency to be hasty or quick to move on when it comes to bonds with other people. With your manifesting ability, combine with your natural charms, you have no problem with meeting and building the connection with someone. But something about commitment might scare you. You might not want to commit because of the fear that your freedom will be lost, or because you put a heavy importance on a commitment that you don't want to step into one too lightly. You might jump, too quickly, into conclusions about some connections. Maybe you would try to find a plausible reason to stop the connection, in the name of practicality and logic, ready to find flaws in the other person, or, on the opposite end, you decide too quickly that this is it, this person is the one and then try to commit, prematurely. It's like you are given something because you wished for it, but then you don't exactly know what to do with it. This will be one of your biggest lessons in this lifetime. To follow through with what you wish for, to commit to something fully and wisely. It's not just romantic relationships but also other relationships, colleagues, friends, families, etc.

There would be two types of people in your life who can guide or lead you into two different directions. They will appear in the form of mentors, someone older or more experienced than you, someone whom you feel you can learn something significant from. One type will encourage you to find your calling, your path. Who will constantly touch your deepest feelings without even trying. They may trigger you, for good or for bad, you would feel their choices of words and actions are dubious and questionable, but there is something undeniably inspiring about them, they push you to be more bold and get in touch with your needs and wishes. While the other type would be someone wanting to dictate every move in your life under the guise of knowing what's good for you. They are powerful, they can make your wishes come true but only if you come under their wings and stay there. You would feel like a child being well taken care of, but your wings will be clipped. Which direction to take is ultimately your choice, you choose whatever to experience, because that's your freedom in this lifetime.

CITRINE

Keywords: uncharted water, discovery, exploration, crossing, in between, balanced, transition

I see your path in this life is going to the unknown, something that you haven't experienced before. You are standing at a gate, a bridge in between two lands. Or, in the vertical sense, you are standing on the dark ground, looking up at the sun, shining bright from above. There are lots of movements, both mentally and physically. In this lifetime, you will constantly move between the two worlds. The inner, dark and cold sea of your private world and the bright, warm air of the outside world. No world is better than other, they need to be their for your life to be in balance, staying in one world for too long and neglecting other will likely result in some events taking place to pull you back into balance.

These two worlds are parallel to each other. The inner world is led chiefly by your mind, they are well organised, block by block, neatly like a library, while the outer world is more dynamic, led by passion and actions. They affect each other in every way, more than you realise. Chaos in the inner thought will likely result in confusion and, in some extreme cases, destruction of the known path. You will stumble upon many paths that are considered strange and out of the norm, but I think you're geared towards them, even unknowingly, your mind has a knack of seeing the unique structure of things, noticing the pattern and the likely outcomes of situations that not many people can. This will help you see more alternatives in life and choose a path that can bring satisfaction to you, in all senses, materially, spiritually, emotionally. This path will likely be an uncharted water, something that not many people have done, there will be many unexplored areas for you to bring in your unique takes.

Another way the two worlds interact with each other is what your inner world needs, the outer world will provide. If you feel anxious and doubtful, haunted by past memories, then you will likely encounter something or someone new who can give you fresh perspectives and encouragement to be brave. If you feel your life is lacking security, you feel low in your self esteem, there will be moments of transformation that bring you closer to what you desire, you will be given opportunities to venture into new territory, meeting new people, getting the support you need to start something. The universe hears your every call and answers back with opportunities, emphasis on the word "opportunities", you won't be given a whole cooked dish, you will be given ingredients to make the dish.

There's an element of settlement. Instead of jumping from place to place, in this lifetime, you need to hold onto something, to make something uniquely yours, something that will be by your side everywhere you go. It could be a legacy, a creation, a lesson, something that lasts. But it's not about stubbornly holding on to something, it has to be integrated into your core being. Throughout life, you will face with many events that will change your perspective drastically, you're not meant to hold on to old beliefs, withered branches that can no longer hold the weight of the birds standing on them. You will constantly meet new people, those that will open your eyes. Foreign people and cultures might fascinate you, somewhere with lots of sunlight, warm hospitality, beautiful scenery and architecture, lots of mountains and flowers. Especially if you're someone who's from a land near the sea, windy and cold, lots of rain and stormy weather. You are a traveller at heart, don't limit yourself to any particular place.

AMETHYST

Keywords: opinion, communication, conflict, to uphold, straightforward, honesty, truth

I don't know why, but upon seeing your spread, the phrase "human comedy" just sprang up in my mind. This life of yours will go through so many ups and downs in regards to connections and relationships. You will experience the full spectrum of them, every facet, every emotion.

You might encounter many situations where you're misunderstood greatly, those will create a very interesting dynamic between you and the world. Interesting might not be the right word, even my choice of word in this reading is muddled up, you might have the tendency to use words that make your intentions seem questionable or odd to people, and they do the same to you. It's like people from different lands from all around the world gathered for a meeting but there's no common language and no one to translate.

Communication will be the point of focus for you. You might struggle to find the right expression, the right words for the things you want to say. Thoughts seem a lot more clear and articulated in your head, but when they are uttered, there's this fog around you that tends to twist and blur the words, making them shift and fuddle. You will need to find a way to clear this fog, to deliver your words in the most direct and straightforward way as much as possible, even at the risk of being blunt and offensive. This might create an obsession or anxiety when communicating. Maybe you want to find the perfect expression, the details, you do notice the tendency of people misunderstanding you so you try so hard to elaborate, which can create the impression of being long winded, rambling or argumentative.

Ideas jump around in your head, constantly born and spread, demand to get out, to be expressed, this forms a rushing energy, impatient tongue. But even with all these misunderstandings, you don't actually offence people. They may perceive you as nitpicking, blunt, or argumentative, but they don't necessarily hate you for it. On the contrary, some even find it amusing and endearing, these people might even intentionally tease or poke at you, it's not malicious, but then again, you also don't read people's intentions too clearly and might perceive these acts of teasing as personal attack. Your reactions would rile those people up even more. Hence, the endless cycles of poking and reacting. The purpose of all of these is to train your resilience of the mind and heart. You should take all of these with good spirit, laugh them off, keep your truth and speak honestly, there's nothing more attractive than that.

On a more serious note, you're reminded to stand firm in your thoughts. I sense that you have so many wisdom to share with the world. Teaching might be a calling for you. Even without actually be in the education field, people can still learn from you, through your unshakable conviction in yourself and the way you speak your truth. It might be intense, it might be difficult to swallow, it might seem strange and outlandish, but nevertheless, it captivates the world through its sincerity.

AVENTURINE

Keywords: artist, bridge, the call, emotional landscape, go with the flow, sensitivity

"Young poet of the moon", "The poet of the soul", those two just appeared in my head upon seeing your spread, so I wanted to write them down. I think those words portrayed you pretty well. Your inner artist heart is beating every moment, it's a force that you can't hide or be ushered into oblivion by some circumstances.

This world needs a lot of people who have a sensitive heart, like you, someone who has the "eyes" to see the beauty in this world, the "ears" to hear its cry and whisper, the "lips" to court it with sweet sweet words. You're here to make people see the world in its naked beauty, helping them realise the small details of living and in the process, elevate their souls.

You offer this world a cup filled with creativity. The way your mind and heart tremble and come alive with all the senses can create striking new creations. The passion for sensuality is there, for the bursting love of life. Sensuality here encompasses a vast spectrum of things, from the aromas of delicious food, the cool and smooth feeling of water lapping over you, the swirling colours of leaves dancing under the sun, the warm and rough feel of someone's hands, ... they are all the materials for you to marvel at, to create, to give back to the world your interpretation of it.

Why did I say "poet" in the beginning? Because you have the gift of gab, your words resonate with people's hearts, because they are spoken from the realm of the unknown inside all of us, we can only be able to catch a glimpse of it here and there, when we allow ourselves to relax and float. You have the ability to connect to that realm , to catch sights of it more often and crystallise those sights into words or messages conveyed by other means. But I sense written words strongly. Even if you do something that isn't related to creativity or the art (but is there anything that truly be detached from creativity?), this gift will still assist you in every endeavour you're in, negotiating, mediating, persuading, counselling, anything that needs these kinds of skills.

Love will play an important role in your life, you're here to experience love in all of its forms, experience all the feelings it can create within us. It won't be an easy journey, heartaches are there, but so is the deepest devotion. You might face delays in love or intense connections that leave lasting marks on your soul. You're not the same person you once were before a connection. These will transform you, plunging you into greater depth and strange waters. But don't be afraid,if you allow yourself to savour the journey, you will arrive at a treasure that many people have been struggling to find. This inexhaustible treasure will provide richness to your life. Also, don't let yourself drowned either, emerge out of the water and share with the world what you've seen. So many people need their hearts touched by a soul such as yours.

[claramelooo]

Okaay! I'm really hyperfocused in read Wanda fics! All writers inspired me with their own way to describe her personality, passionately. So, I written a prompt yesterday in a insomnia moment. If you like it, let me know please!

Warning: +18

Contains: manipulation, Mommy issues, Mommy kink, degradation, dirty talk, christian guilty, brat behavior, possessive and obsessive behavior, and more toxic stuffed for sure :)

Read here: Part 1 - Predator

Velvet Chains

Wylie, Texas. A small town where everyone knows each other, and Wanda is the epitome of perfection. Married, with children, and working as a librarian, she is a central figure in the local church and beloved by the neighborhood. With her sweet smiles and gentle eyes, no one suspects the secrets she hides behind her flawless facade.

Inside, Wanda feels an emptiness she can’t seem to fill. She has done everything right – married the proper man, had children, upheld the values of her community – yet something vital seems to be missing. What exactly, she doesn’t know… until the day she sees you for the first time.

You are the daughter of a neighborhood couple who has just returned from boarding school. With your shy demeanor mixed with a subtle rebelliousness, you catches Wanda’s attention during a church gathering. There’s something in your presence, the spark in your youthful eyes, that ignites a long-forgotten flame within Wanda. Youth. Freedom. Everything she has never truly experienced.

At first, Wanda tries to ignore her fascination. It’s just curiosity, isn’t it? But the way you move, your carefree and subtly provocative nature, begins to invade Wanda’s thoughts. Soon, she’s finding excuses to get closer – a visit to your parents, an invitation to help at the library, or even offering “motherly” advice during church meetings.

For you, Wanda’s presence is equally perplexing. There’s something magnetic about the older woman: a mix of maternal warmth and an intensity that’s almost unsettling. While Wanda seems to provide comfort, her words and lingering gazes carry a tension that makes your heart race. She feels things she has never felt before – and, without realizing it, starts to succumb to Wanda’s subtle control.

Wanda’s obsession grows. Every rebellious act by you – a bold remark, a deliberate tardiness – only draws her in further, awakening instincts she thought she had buried long ago. She wants to teach, correct, mold you. She wants to see you surrender, not just physically but emotionally.

And you, caught in a game of power she doesn’t fully understand, begins to yield. Wanda oscillates between tenderness and discipline, between praise and sharp words, wielding her authority to explore the darkest desires in both of them.

In a dynamic rife with psychological tension, discipline, and forbidden discoveries, you and Wanda tread a fine line between passion and ruin. How far can this game go before they’re both consumed by the flames they’ve ignited?

~*~

So?

[wide-nose-and-wonderful]

SINNERS.

Pairing: Sammie x Black Fem Reader!

Warnings/Type: Semi Hurt/ Extra Comfort, Fluffy Bubble Gum type of feelings because it's Preacher Boy, enough said, ONE SHOT!

Summary: Sammie was a sensation! All the church going congregation that Sunday thought so. Then how come you were the only one that didn't seem to give him the proper applause?

Word count: 3,187 / Whomever comes across this work, enjoy.

The air, which shimmered with oppressive heat all day, began to surrender, though a thick, humid warmth persisted, clinging to everything like a damp shroud. 

Your heated body tempted you to lift the bottoms of your skirts, so that the fabric sat high on your brown burning thighs. 

You would suffer through. 

No alternative destination existed, as far as you knew. 

No other place could be as beautiful at this particular time of day. 

Golden glow shining down on the endless row of Mississippi’s cotton, like trees in an intricate African dance in the fields of a homeland you would only experience by story. 

The Divine’s fingers stretched long over his crafted earth as painter to canvas. You became more thankful for such moments. Moments in which you could observe in reverence and give praise without prompting or cue from the old preacher’s sermon on Sunday morning.

Out here reminded you of singers in all white robes. Voices thick with history and hope. Promises of freedom and change. Ways to find some kind of peace. Only, in the little church, they remain confined, gated between the four walls. 

Out here, movement proved easier for dancing. 

God’s creation swallowed you up.  

You reached high, fingers finding the rough texture before you let go. 

Some things weren’t meant to be experienced, just admired. 

Did that logic apply to him also? 

The quiet out in the fields soothed a heart that ached, but the crickets provided hopeful hymns that kept you alive and awake while the earth beneath the blanket you laid stayed soft and welcoming. A gaze toward the heavens that sat above, and you offered a grin. You only found comfort in the idea of meeting heartbreak under God’s watchful eye, right in the heart of his masterpiece. 

You tempted yourself to wait for the climax of the day’s end. Brave yourself to walk back home on the dark dirt road. Sharing the same burden, the same silence, you wouldn’t bother yourself with consequence, nor your father’s disapproval and the inevitable questions upon your return that weighed.

Or maybe you wouldn’t. Go back. 

Even now, the performance Sammie gave earlier that morning wouldn’t leave your mind. His own father Jedidiah, had a brow damp with the passion of his message and a smile toward the first pew where his wife sat by time his sermon concluded and he’d began to introduce his oldest son’s solo. 

“You will be there at service this morn, won’t ya.”

“Course. You singing today aint ya’. I wouldn’t miss it. Look for me. I’ll be in my best dress. Front row.” 

You remembered the muted confidence that stayed on him when he walked the short distance to the platform. Hair combed better than usual, and the cleanest face you saw on him in a while as he settled in place, adjusting the guitar. He wasn’t scared. No implication of nerves was found on him as your eyes looked and searched. 

Then the hush that fell over the Sanctuary made your heart leap with anticipation. Waiting and longing. The cords were simple. Clean. A Melody instantly recognizable. His voice came up afterward, following in a deep but clear purity.   

Eyes closed, you hung on to the song, desperately. Even as the tears began to pinch the sides of your lids. Your heart ached with a deep, bone tired ache trying to forget Sammie, Preacher Boy. 

The oncoming footsteps broke your memory. 

You shot up from your place on the ground, eyes wild, still damp and searching for where the sound came from, a little annoyed and exposed in emotion and skin. You pulled at your dress instantly and let it cover your legs dismissing the partial cool. 

Cotton fields spread out on either side while Sammie walked toward you, coat and hat, the guitar he couldn’t seem to part with. 

“There you are.” 

His words carried like dust. 

Strained, your lips held tight together. Words up and locked as he got closer. You concerned yourself more with whether you were dreaming or awake. Maybe in a memory, or making a new one.

“Sammie. How you find me out here?” 

He chuckled. It added to the deepness of his voice. 

“What you mean?” 

You got up. When you did, there he stood, a lopsided grin on him.

“It's almost sundown.” 

With a step back you turned to face the dying light. 

“Thought you’d be back home.” 

You folded your arms, dropped your head to look at a place on the blanket beneath your bare feet.  

“Ya’ mama probably wonderin’ after you by now.” You said, sucking in some air.

“Ma mama got her own business need tendin’. We not talkin’ bout her tho’. Been lookin’ for ya’. Where you run off to after service?” 

He gave a casual push of his Guitar to create more space.

“I needed to take a walk. So I took one.”

“All day.” 

A short breath left you. You turned to face him. 

“No Sammie, not all day. I went home and helped as usual to make sure we’d have things ready for sup tonight. Did some washin’. Lots actually. You already know how Sunday be like. Then I walked again and ended up here. Before I knew it, there my day went.” 

Sammie’s fingers ran over the guitar strings. The lopsided grin shifted into a smile. 

“So. You ain't think ta’ wait on me?” 

You let go of a sigh. 

“Sammie, now what got you thinkin’ I need to wait for ya?” 

“Cause this morning, said you would.” 

“Yeah well. Forgot to, I guess.” 

Sammie took a step back, raised a finger and pointed at you.

“No see, now you lyin’.’”

“Not lyin' Sammie. Cuz I ain't got nothin’ ta lie about. If you don't mind. Just wanna be alone with ma’ thoughts while the rest of this day remains.”

You plopped back down on the blanket gazing in the direction of the sun.

“So you mad at me.”

His voice caused you to swallow down. It came behind you concerned, yet full of power and poise all at once.

You shook your head. 

“No. Why would I be mad at you. Just wanted some time off on my own is all. Got nothin’ to do wit’ being mad.”

You didn’t notice until his shoulder bumped yours that he'd sat down. He lifted the guitar strap over his head and put it to the side, laying it on the longer freed up end of the blanket you’d spread out.

“Yeah,” He murmured, bumping your shoulder once more. “You mad. Like the bonnet tho’. You tryna keep the sun out ya’ face. Not much of the day left.” 

You grabbed on a sting, loosening the tie as your coiled hair began to rise underneath. With a greater pull the bonnet came off. Sammie peered in the same direction you had. When the gold faded, it would stretch out bruised in a horizon of purple, a burning orange that would eventually descend entirely into a desperate crimson. 

Suddenly, you didn’t want the day to fade. 

“Whatever's wrong. You never said a word to me bout’ it. Then again, I always found you was one of them girls that liked to keep secrets. Even from me.” 

You looked at him. One of your brows rose higher than the other hoping he’d go into greater detail by what he meant. Sammie’s smile had found him, and this time he laid down with it making your eyes follow his motion. Hands up and behind his head, the same way you had when the sun sat a bit higher and you’d looked toward heaven. 

Now Sammie had found that same heaven too. 

“It’s been the two of us since way back when we used to chase chickens in the backyard.” 

He chuckled. 

This memory was far different from the one you had of service that morning. A later memory from the past, more innocent and unblemished. 

“Still remember how you cried when ma’ grandma told you it wasn't a good idea to have a chicken as a friend. Said it never ended well. Short lived, exact words. The tears didn't stay on you tho’ when it was all said and done. You seemed to have a funny way of changing yo’ mind bout’ things. Told me afterwards that it was the best damn bird you’d ever ate.” 

The two of you shared a laugh, only to leave an uncomfortable stillness behind after it faded against the thick air. 

“Sammie.”

“Huh.” 

You lifted your head.

“Play me a song. You know. The one I like.”

A grin swept his lips. 

“Yes Ma’am.”

He grabbed the guitar and put the band back over his shoulder, fitting his fingers over the strings. 

A little grin managed to edge over your lips. Maybe he never parted with the damn thing because you didn't let him. 

“Come on now. Let's go do somethin’ else. Catch frogs, pick dandelions, anything. I'm sick of foolin’ wit this thing….” 

“No, no. You promised. Sides how you gon’ be any good without practice. Only musicians done that proly ones done’ gon’ and sold they soul. Not you though, preacher boy.” 

“Sold they soul? Ya’ mama know how you talkin'.”

He began, and the song clung to him. Sammie’s voice grew higher with each line. At the same time his fingers picked the melody with gentle precision. Notes ascended. This wasn’t just singing. He was telling a story. 

You sat perfectly still, captivated. A tear rolled down your cheek by the middle of the song, and then the air shifted. It became heavy, not with heat, but with emotion and reverence. Suddenly you were back in the church watching Sammie as your fellow neighbors congratulated his performance. You went to speak your own praises when you stopped. The prettiest girl, according to all the local boys, approached Sammie. He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. Right then, your best dress didn’t measure up. 

You let out a loud sob and sucked it back as your shoulders bounced with feeling beyond the music. Tears came in abundance, more and more until it became hard to wipe them all away. 

Sammie stopped singing and looked at you. His eyes wide with worry.

“Hey hey come on now, don’t do that.”

He scooted closer, reached out and sat a hand on your back. 

“Can’t help it.” You shrugged. “Always gets me cryin’ without fail. You somethin’ special Sammie. Something so so special,” you sniffed. “Damn fool not to know that before,” you whispered in an attempt to calm your whimpering.

The air still held tight to the melody when you heard Sammie from behind.

“I love ya.”

You nodded. “I know,” you said with a brief chuckle. “Really, you been like a brother to me since we been knowin’ each other so long now. Since we was kids.” 

You wiped your eyes and finally shifted your position on the blanket so that you faced him, legs crossed, posture not all the way straight. Sammie shook his head. A slow shake that left his eyes focused and  stayed on you, staring. 

“Nah’. I don’t mean like that,” he clarified.

“Well. What you mean?” You asked to rub the side of one of your arms. “Like what?”

Sammie chuckled, he sat back momentarily, but did not make eye contact. “Well uh. That was part of the reason I wanted you to wait for me. Needed to ask you somethin.” 

“Ask me somethin. What?” 

“I love ya like….”

Sammie leaned in, and in a breathless moment, everything fell away. His lips met yours, soft and hesitant at first as he whispered, “Love like the way a man love his woman. Like how ma’ daddy love my momma.” 

Warmth came rushing through your chest. Heart souring at his confession while you floated.  

He pressed his lips a second time, more confident when you hadn’t retracted, a kiss sweet and perfect, like the first drop of rain at the start of spring. 

When You both parted, his eyes searched your’s. The only time you’d seen him nervous.  

 “I wanted to ask you to be mine.” 

The beating inside your chest went on faster than ever, but calmed just as quickly leaving you dizzy. The tension in your shoulders had subsided. You kissed him back, fingers lightly touching his arm. “Oh, Sammie.” You lifted a hand and drew it over his shoulder to rest, closing the space so that both your foreheads touched. 

“You love me like that to, don’t ya…like you need ta' be wit me.”

You nodded. “But where’s this coming from? I wouldn’t have thought…” 

“Thing is. just been waitin’ on you.” 

A slight tilt of the heat had you puzzled by his words. 

“Waitin’ on me?”

Sammie provided a single nod, matched with a short grin. “Waitin’ on ya,” he repeated. “You one way this day and a different way the next. Maybe that’s all women in some ways. I was nervous you just thought us friends. Like you would never see me more then that boy chasing’ chickens wit ya.” 

“I was jealous…”

His eyes settled on yours. Your gaze fell. You swallowed down. 

“At the church house earlier. I was so mad I couldn’t even clap for ya’. When I saw how Betty Johnson was talkin’ to ya after service finished. How you laughed. I knew I was in trouble. I mean I always knew my feelings for ya. Been a long time. This morning was different though. Got good at putting them behind me. But not today. Today, I felt like I was close to losing ya’ for good. Woulda been my fault too, cuz I never said nothin’. Maybe God heard my prayer out here then. And it didn’t get caught up in all these cotton trees. That’s what I thought when you showed up. Ya’ gran daddy’s hat. Guitar at ya side. Handsome. And a man.” 

Sammie reached a hand and placed it on one of your cheeks letting his thumb provide a comfortable motion of caress.  

“Well you ma’ girl now. Don’t worry yourself bout' Betty no more.” 

You placed a hand over his.

“I don’t think I need to, now.” 

Your eyes must have lit up like stars. You smiled at him, almost bashful. What he said hadn't been lost on you. 

“Ya’ girl. And you serious?” 

“Very serious.”

He shifted, pulling you closer until you were straddling him. Your lips hovering just above his. The kiss was slow to begin. An exploration of each other’s mouth. It deepened, becoming more and more urgent. 

Sammie’s hands roamed down your back, molding you to him. He trailed kisses down your jawline. They moved until they found an area. Kisses that came in light at first, until they began to leave a trail of fire in their wake. You didn’t fight the moan as he’d discovered a sensitive area behind your ear. It gave Sammie more encouragement. 

Your lips parted as you enjoyed the tingling sensation that filled you up. He moved lower, his lips brushing against the smooth of your neck. He sucked delicately at first, before he added more pressure. You let out a gasp, this small involuntary sound that had your back arched. In a quick motion, you pat at his shoulder. 

“Come on, Preacher Boy,” you murmured in a hurried tone. “You gon’ mark me all up. Spose my daddy sees.” 

“Hm.” He kissed the spot one more time before sitting back. “Seems like we should get ourselves married then.”

“Married? Sammie,” you gave a small laugh. “Now you talkin’ that crazy talk. We too young.”

Sammie smacked his teeth. 

“How you figure? I seen younger than us.”

You scrunch your nose only to focus on a cotton tree. One of Sammie’s fingers comes under your chin. You looked back at him. His eyes were different. Low, focused and with an air of seriousness to them, although he kept a smirk that held you in place.

“What. You think I’m scared of yo’ daddy? That I won’t ask for ya’ hand.” He lifted his head, proud and confident. “I’d make a good husband too. He know it. Jedidiah’s boy. I’d treat you like a lady. I’m good in the field, not cotton pickin’ either. Moe’ like tilling the land. Tending to it, keeping it healthy.” 

You had a smile on your face. 

“Like Abraham, from the Bible or sum’?”

“Yeah, like that. Biblical baby.” 

“You so silly,” you giggled. 

“And, hey. Figured we buy ourselves our own farm, so it’s ours, that way no one can tell us how we run it. Nobody.” 

“A farm is expensive.” You purse your lips. “How we gon’ get that kinda money, Sammie?”  

“I’ll work up and save for it.” He rubbed his chin, a grin growing as an ideal sprung up. “Maybe call up ma’ cousins. Might have some work for me.” 

You waved your hand. 

“Oh no. Don’t you go calling ya’ crazy ol’ cousins. Leave Smoke and Stack right where they be. Doing whatever they doin.” You leaned forward, sneaking a kiss before searching his eyes. “No, you stay here with me, preacher boy. Will get us that farm if you have your mind set on it. Together, all on our own. You and me.” 

“I like how that sound.”

Sammie sighed and stood to his feet, brushing off his pants. 

“Come on now. Let me get ya’ home. set a good example for myself.” 

You nodded and stood, grabbing both the blanket and your bonnet as you slipped on your shoes. When you turned back to Sammie, he had the guitar held out in your direction. Using his free hand, he took the blanket from you.  

“What ya doin?” 

“You wanna walk the whole way. Have yo’ feet aching come mornin?”

You grinned when you realized what he meant. It had been quite some time since you could remember him giving you a back ride.

“Guess. Not. Okay then.” 

“Now here, hold the guitar. Don’t drop ma’ guitar now. You keep it save ya hear.” 

“I’m not gon’ drop ya guitar. Hush up.”

You took hold of the instrument and put the band over your head and moved it around so that it sat over your back. Sammie bent enough for you to make a quick jump that had your arms around his neck, and his arms under your legs. 

You watched the sun dip below the tree line from over Sammie’s shoulder. The white bolls, bright and promising like angels lit by fire, were now scattered ghosts of twilight swaying this way and that with the short breeze that had not subsided. The light faded fast, pulling the edges of the field into a blur. The individual plants merged into a single dark mass. For the second time, God’s creation would swallow you up. Only now, Sammie Preacher Boy was with you, for what you prayed, would be a good long while.

END.

A/N: What can I say. Preacher Boy got a hold on ya' girl and I had to write something for the sexy lil' blues singer. This story came as a random thought, but I'm glad I did it. This one's for you Sammie Sam Sam girlies out there!

PLEASE DO NOT COPY OR CLAIM ANY OF MY WRITING. -Wide Nose And Wonderful /Mrs. Saint Writes.

[dmitriene]

THOUGHTS ABOUT SIMON WITH CLINGY GF.

cw: fluff, comfort, slighty suggestive, clingy behavior, intimacy, mentions of sex, many cuddles, established relationship pairing: bf simon riley x gf fem reader

authors note: just something little and silly before the fic i will post in the weekends

 ✎ 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵. 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴. 𝘢𝘰3. ˑ༄

simon was literally perfect for cuddling with, a wide body chiseled by army training, countless missions and his complex past, voluminous biceps and broad shoulders, toned and slightly hard muscles that became more than limp with time, age, and your comfort.

the muscles of his abdomen became softer and softer each time and even had a little fat on them, not like something bad, on the contrary, it was one of the most comfortable pillows in the world, quite often you lay on his stomach while resting, noticing how periodically he tensed and his muscles became harder under you before relaxing, his wide fingers tangled in your hair.

hugs with him were pleasant, as if being in the paws of a bear — pressing into his round, vast chest, causing him some embarrassment and hoarse coughs, but one way or another he would still circle you with his hands, squeezing carefully, as gently as he could, not wanting to hurt you, pressing himself into the top of your head, gently and hoarsely muttering, allowing you to feel how his chest rumbles — «feeling comfy, love?»

the answer is always the same, — «mhm, yeah», whenever the question is asked and at what time, you felt more than comfortable around him, literally sticking to him, your hands were always on him — hugging, feeling, stroking his tense muscles before starting to massage them, tracing his scars on his naked torso when you lay together in bed or washed, allowing you to look at the scattering of different types of traces of his past and outline each one, linking your fingers with them like constellations.

simon loved your behavior, oh, he more than adored the feeling of how you clinged to him and hugged him — his muscles went limp and any worries literally evaporated as soon as you touched him in an affectionate, gentle manner, as if your whole being was focused on him, to him, it's seems that you touch him like a fragile figurine, because most of the touches he has experienced are rough handshakes, slaps on the back or shoulder, the barrel of a gun near his temple.

you were the epicenter of his love and tenderness, when you first started dating and he contacted you, simon was ready to swear that every word of love and touch brought him almost to tears, something inside him was constantly tingling and responding, screaming, like an inner child — no matter how hardened a soldier is, there is a fragility hidden within him, masked and covered by roughness, and simon more than deserved to open up and allow himself to feel, cry, love, and laugh.

moving on from the sad, most of your time was spent in the bedroom — not counting the typical activities after which the neighbors complained about the noise, and the sheets needed to be changed from wet spots, and not to mention your wobbly legs and bucking knees, as well as a slight burning between your legs from how his tongue, fingers, and girthy cock spent a lot of time in your aching cunt.

you often lay in an embrace just relaxing, be it regular days or the days after he returned from deployment, or while watching tv whose position in the bedroom was quite comfortable, you had freedom of action both to watch your favorite programs and to snuggle up to his muscular, voluminous thigh — pressing your cheek into hardened softness and wrapping two arms around him, squeezing his leg until simon practically fell asleep, leaning on the headboard and soft pillows, lazily combing through your hair and stroking your head, your ear and your cheek, relishing in softness, mumbling somehow thoughtfully and sleepily — «you're so soft, lovie, bloody squishy toy»

a loud giggle escapes your lips at his words as you nuzzle into his thigh before lifting yourself up and crawling towards his arm as he lifts it for you, allowing you to position yourself so that he can wrap his arms around you, burying your face in the softness of his chest, while you whisper — «mm, you're soft too, si»

he frowns slightly, grumbles a little tiredly before squeezing you tighter, completely relaxed while crumpling your body in his arms over your clothes, content with the softness under his rough fingers before muttering — «'m not»

— «you are, you're soft, i can cuddle with you like if hugging a bea — ah!» you don’t have time to finish your sentence, pressing into his chest and looking at his closed eyes with fluttering light eyelashes when he pinches you over your clothes, it still hurts a little, though, before he is patting this place as if in pity when you let out a squeak and a whimper, but actually forgetting about the pain immediately when he scoops you even closer to his body and commands a little sternly, using his lieutenant tone — «shush it, be good and lay obediently, eh?»

and who in their right mind would refuse such, roughly speaking, request?

no one, so you calmly relax, and, finding yourself literally squished in his arms, you allow your eyelids to become heavy for a brief moment and fall asleep with him, burying yourself in the top of his hair while he fidgeted slightly against the softness of your chest with a relaxed sigh and quiet snoring, limp next to you and squeezing his arms around your waist like a lock, surrendering to a short moment of sleep and the comfort of your presence nearby, even if your hands periodically squeeze his chest area, just by accident.

[vanteguccir]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤMATILDA * MATT STURNIOLO

SUMMARY　::　Where Y/N remembers her traumatic past, but Matt is there to support her and help her heal the wounds through a day on the beach and playing with toys while recording a video.

FEATURING　Matt Sturniolo x reader　REQUESTED?　yes.

WARNINGS　::　fighting, crying, cursing, toxic and manipulative parents, traumatic childhood, a mention of aggression. ANGST with a happy ending.

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

The sun was radiant in the blue sky as Y/N, Matt, Nick and Chris arrived at the beach on a sunny Saturday, the sound of the boys' little cousins' desperate pleas begging to be allowed into the water filled their ears, along with the waves gently lapping on the shore and the smell of the salty sea, bringing a feeling of comforting familiarity to Y/N.

They quickly chose a spot on the soft sand that was close to the area where the children would play, spreading their beach towels and opening an umbrella to protect themselves from the scorching sun.

"Babe, can you put sunscreen on my back, please?" Y/N asked as she adjusted herself on one of the colorful towels, crossing her legs over the soft fabric.

"Of course, hon." With a gentle smile, Matt picked up the beach bag that rested on the sand, fishing out the sunscreen and approaching his girlfriend. He knelt, positioning himself behind her. "Bend forward a little, my love."

The boy opened the tube, squeezing it lightly and pouring a significant amount of the product onto the palm of his hand before setting the packaging aside. He brought his hand closer to her warm skin, watching a shiver rise up her back at the contact of the cold cream, starting to spread it gently on Y/N's back, his large and skilled hands massaging it with care and affection.

Y/N closed her eyes, losing herself in the comforting sensation of Matt's touch. She could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and the cool ocean breeze caressing her face.

A loud, joyful scream from one of the children made her open her eyes again, looking up and focusing on where they were running, chasing each other while their hands tightly gripped colorful, plastic beach toys.

The laughter that followed them took her back to a time when she herself longed for that innocence and freedom, but rarely experienced it. Her childhood had been marked by absent parents and a lack of emotional stability that left deep scars on her soul, her mind recreating a scene extremely similar to the one she was experiencing at that moment.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The sun shone high in the sky, warming the small playground where a 5 year old Y/N sat. She dangled her little legs on the wooden bench as she watched the other children play excitedly around her. The playground was filled with laughter and happy screams, but for Y/N, all she felt was loneliness.

Her parents, as always, were absent, lost in their own problems and worries. They rarely had time for Y/N, and when they did, she always felt like an intruder in their busy lives. She could hear their voices shouting at each other a few meters away from where she sat, while her father's phone rang incessantly.

As she watched the other children play with their parents, a lump formed in her throat. She desperately wanted to be like them, to have the attention and affection of her own parents, but she knew that this was just an unattainable dream for her.

Suddenly, Y/N felt a heavy hand on her shoulder, making her jump in fright. Her father was there, looking at her with an impatient expression on his face, the ring of his phone echoing loudly against her ear as the image of her mother with crossed arms and angry eyes appeared behind his back.

"Y/N, let's go. We have things to do." He said abruptly, not caring about the sad expression in her eyes.

"B-but daddy, I-"

"Now!" Her father raised his voice, squeezing the skin of her shoulder with significant force in his fingers, practically pushing her off the bench.

Y/N stood up immediately, her heart heavy with sadness and loneliness. She wanted to say something more. She wanted to beg for a moment of attention and affection, where they could play together on the seesaw or the slide, but she knew it would be useless. Her parents were always too busy for her, always too far away to listen.

As they walked back home, Y/N felt a feeling of deep emptiness settle inside her. That was just another normal day for her family.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

As her painful childhood memories resurfaced in her mind, Y/N felt tears begin to stream down her cheeks. She knew, even at the tender age of five, that her childhood was being stolen from her, that she was being forced to grow up too fast, to adapt to a world where love and attention were luxuries she could never afford to have.

The girl tried to hide it, wiping her face quickly and looking away to the horizon, but the weight of her memories was difficult to bear.

"And... Done!" Matt's voice interrupted her train of thoughts, waking her from her reverie. Matt's hand, now slathered in sunscreen, moved away from her skin, retrieving the tube again before rising from his sitting position.

Y/N whispered a gentle "thank you", blinking quickly to clear away the new tears in her eyes before her boyfriend saw them, a small sniffle escaping her, which she covered with a fake cough.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” Nick - who was standing a few meters away - asked, his voice filled with concern as he noticed the tears in her eyes.

Matt, who was next to their bag holding sunscreen again, looked up at his brother's question, his brow furrowed in confusion as he quickly turned around, looking at his girlfriend.

"I'm fine, Nick. I think it's just the sun." Y/N forced a shaky smile, rubbing her eyes with her closed fist, feeling a stab of pain in both of them from the roughness of her movements.

Nick accepted the explanation with a nod, but Matt could see the truth behind Y/N's forced smile. He approached her again, sitting next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders affectionately.

"Sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Matt whispered softly, his voice gentle and comforting.

Y/N looked at him, seeing the genuine concern in his blue eyes. She was tempted to open her heart to him, to share the depths of her pain and anguish. But the fear of being judged or rejected still kept her hesitant.

"I know, Matt." Y/N muttered, her voice choked by the weight of her emotions. "I just... I was just thinking about some things, that's all."

Matt wasn't convinced, but he knew that pressuring her wouldn't help her open up. He just held her tighter, offering her silent comfort, his arm working to pull her so that she lay her head on his right shoulder, sealing the top of her hair for long seconds, the fresh smell of sunscreen surrounding their bodies.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

After leaving their cousins ​​at the triplets' aunt and uncle's house again, Y/N and the brothers returned to their childhood home, having the need to return a little earlier so they could record the video that would be posted that Wednesday.

While Nick organized the equipment and Chris set up the table that they would be sat while filming, Matt approached his girlfriend - who was carrying her bags back to Matt's old room -, worried about her somewhat distant expression.

"Is everything okay, petal?" Matt asked softly, walking alongside Y/N towards the bedroom.

The girl paused for a moment, feeling grateful for Matt's concern, but also determined not to make him worry about her, knowing the importance of recording that video, since they couldn't publish the one of last Wednesday.

"I'm fine, baby. I think I'll stay in the room for a while while you record." Matt frowned at her airy response.

"Are you sure? Don't you want to be with us, maybe behind the cameras?" His voice came out small, full of concern, but Y/N just smiled gently in response, appreciating Matt's gentleness but knowing she needed time alone to process her own emotions.

"No, baby. I think I need some time alone." Matt nodded, accepting her decision with understanding.

"Okay, I'll be here if you need anything."

A few minutes later, after a hot and invigorating shower that seemed to wash away all her sorrows, Y/N left the room, her hair damp, and a feeling of freshness surrounding her.

She was heading towards the living room to grab Chris and Nick's bags and take them to their respective bedrooms when she heard voices coming from the kitchen. Curious about the frequent laughter, she followed the sound and found the triplets sitting on the marble table in front of the camera, opening children's toys and testing them out as content.

An excited smile spread across Y/N's face almost automatically. She approached slowly, watching them excitedly, a small "wow" escaping her lips as she saw her boyfriend pick up the colorful cardboard package with a small lamb inside.

Matt, who was showing Snowy to the camera, turned around when he heard Y/N's footsteps, his eyes automatically lighting up when he saw her there.

"Baby! Do you wanna play with us? Look, this is Snowy!" His voice came out excitedly as he quickly showed the toy to his girlfriend, a childish smile gracing his face.

Y/N nodded excitedly, feeling suddenly energized by the relaxed and fun atmosphere in the living room.

"It's so cute, Matt! I've never had one of those." She responded just as excitedly, quickly moving closer to them.

Chris got up from his seat, taking a new chair and placing it on Matt's left side so that it was on the other end opposite Nick.

"Thank you, Chris." Y/N smiled in gratitude, sitting on the upholstered chair and resting her arms on the gray marble.

The girl looked at the lamb in Matt's hands with a sparkle in her eyes, feeling a wave of nostalgia and joy invading her heart. She reached out to stroke the soft fur, feeling an immediate connection to the toy that she never had as a child.

"Here, petal. Try it!" Matt handed it over quickly, the three brothers watching her as she tried to understand how the toy worked.

"This is like a toy I would like." Nick commented briefly.

"It is so cute!" Y/N squealed, her smile lighting up her face as she turned it upside down.

"Wait, I think you turn it on here." Matt leaned closer to her, bringing his right hand closer to the toy and pressing the small, almost invisible button.

Y/N shook the lamb gently, moving it in the air in the hope that it would make it react in some way.

"Wait, let me-" Matt touched the lamb's back after Y/N placed it on the table with a confused expression.

A surprised scream escaped Y/N and Matt as they saw the toy slowly begin to walk, the girl weakly slapping her boyfriend's shoulder as she frantically pointed at Snowy with her other hand.

"Oh my God!" Chris laughed, getting Nick's attention and watching the toy walk towards them.

"Let me put the leash on it!" Nick asked with a smile on his face, taking the toy and attaching the small lilac string to it before letting it walk closer to Y/N again.

Matt stared in amazement at the lamb, wrapping his right arm around his girlfriend's waist and pulling her closer, while his free hand held the small blue bottle, wanting to feed it.

Y/N laughed loudly, feeling completely at ease and free to be her true self. She never had the opportunity to have toys as a child, so that moment meant a lot to her.

As she played with the lamb and the other toys, Y/N felt overwhelmed by a sense of peace and joy, determined to enjoy every moment of the experience, keeping it in her heart as a precious memory of the childhood she never had.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The sun was beginning to set over the horizon when the video came to an end. Nick and Chris were busy putting the toys into boxes to deliver to children in need the next day, when Matt approached Y/N with a mysterious smile on his lips, watching her return from his brothers' room after finally taking their bags to there.

"Baby?" Matt called softly, his voice full of restrained enthusiasm. "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What is it?" Y/N looked at him quickly, eyes shining with curiosity and excitement as she felt her heart start racing.

Matt just shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

"It's a surprise, baby. You'll see."

While Nick and Chris finished putting away the equipment, Matt led Y/N out of the house, quickly shouting to his brothers that they would be back soon before closing the door behind him.

The two walked silently towards the car, Matt quickly opening the passenger door for her gently before getting into the driver's seat, noticing from the corner of his eye his girlfriend bouncing her leg up and down anxiously.

The boy quickly brought his right hand to her leg, firming his grip there so that she stopped her frantic movements before stroking the covered skin lightly.

"Relax, pretty girl."

After making sure she was fine, the brunette started the car, driving down the long road, the sun setting painting the sky with shades of pink and orange as they drove away from the city.

Y/N curiously observed the route, trying to guess where they were going. The playlist she and Matt had created at the beginning of their relationship played softly on the radio, filling the car with a selection of their favorite songs that reminded them of each other.

As they got closer to the shore, Y/N felt a pang of anticipation growing inside her chest, her eyes darting across the landscape quickly as her mouth opened slightly.

"Matt, where are we going?"

"You'll see, babe. We're almost there." Matt just smiled, keeping the secret.

Finally, the car parked in one of the beachfront car spaces, and Y/N looked out the window, her eyes widening in surprise as she recognized the familiar scene.

"The beach?" She asked, confused. "What are we doing here?"

Matt turned off the engine and turned to Y/N, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"It's your surprise. Let's enjoy the beach. For real this time."

The sun was already almost completely gone when Matt and Y/N found themselves walking along the beach, their hands intertwined and their feet sinking into the soft sand, while their free hands held tightly to the pair of their own sneakers. The sound of the waves gently crashing beside them created a serene soundtrack to the moment.

Matt looked at Y/N beside him, seeing the mix of emotions on her face as she looked out to the sea, her eyes fixed on the waves, and her brow frowned tightly.

"Hey princess, is everything okay?" Matt asked softly, his soft voice bringing her back to the present while he squeezed her fingers gently.

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes shining with a mixture of sadness and determination.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just trying to process some things." Her voice came out lower than expected, her tongue escaping her mouth and quickly wetting her lips in a nervous act.

Matt nodded understandingly, offering her silent support as they continued to walk along the beach. He could feel the tension in her shoulders, and he was determined to help her find happiness in that moment.

So, suddenly, Matt stopped and looked at Y/N with a mischievous smile on his lips.

"How about we go for a swim?"

Y/N stopped next to him, processing what he said for a few seconds before her eyes widened in surprise, a smile slowly stretching on her face.

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now!" Matt exclaimed, dropping his sneakers onto the sand and taking hers, doing the same before grabbing her hand again, running towards the sea and pulling her tightly behind him, a scream lost against the wind that hit her face.

The two ran across the sand, laughing and screaming in euphoria as the waves lapped at their feet. They threw themselves into the sea, the cold waters enveloping them as they jumped and played like two carefree children, their clothes sticking to the skin of their bodies, but that was their last worry.

Y/N felt a sense of freedom like never before. The salt water washed away her pain, while Matt's laughter filled her ears in joy. For a moment, she allowed herself to forget all the weight of the past and simply live in the present moment, surrendering to the happiness that radiated from each pulse of the sea.

"This is amazing!" Y/N shouted, laughing as she jumped over or into the waves alongside her boyfriend's.

"You are amazing!" Matt replied, a radiant smile lighting up his face as his eyes traveled over the features of Y/N's face, his dilated pupils almost taking the shape of two hearts.

They played and jumped in the waves until they got tired, with each moment sinking deeper into their brain like a precious memory.

When they finally left the sea and threw themselves on the sand, panting and exhausted, Y/N felt a sense of peace and calm invade her being. Matt lay down next to her, their hands touching lightly, both ignoring the strange feeling of the sand against their wet bodies.

Y/N sighed deeply, staring to the starry blanket of the sky above them. She pondered deeply before turning to Matt, lying on her side, the corners of her eyes reflecting the starlight.

"You know, I've never had a real childhood." She began, her soft voice thick with emotion. "I've never talked about this to anyone before, but I know I can trust you, and I feel like it's time to reveal it... after today."

Matt turned so that he was equally lying on his side on the sand and facing her, his eyes showing immense tenderness, encouraging her to continue.

Y/N took a deep breath before speaking again, her words filled with painful memories of her troubled childhood.

"My parents were always busy with their jobs and making money, the more money the better... They rarely had time for me. The only memories I have of my parents are of them yelling at me or at each other." Her voice wavered as she fought to control her emotions. "Sorry." She laughed in disdain at her body's reactions.

"You don't have to be sorry, petal. I'm here with you." Matt whispered quickly, lifting his free hand and bringing it to her waist, caressing the skin covered by her wet clothes.

Y/N closed her eyes before speaking again.

"I felt so lonely, Matt. I never had friends because I was always very closed off, maybe because of the events at home, and the fact that I was quiet seemed to scare the other children away..."

Tears began to form in Y/N's eyes as she relived the painful memories of her neglected childhood.

"I felt so lost and abandoned." The girl continued, her voice shaking with the intensity of her emotions. "I prayed so much to whatever was hearing me to have a normal childhood, with friends and play times, but all I had was loneliness and sadness." She swallowed hard. "You know, my mom used to hit me sometimes... Nothing very serious, she just got angry because of how I behaved so quietly and different from her." Y/N shook her head quickly, a sob escaping her throat.

"Baby..." Matt traveled his hand from her waist to her free hand, holding it firmly, allowing her to cry without interrupting, knowing that she would never go beyond her limit by telling him about her traumas.

Y/N smiled weakly through her tears, feeling grateful for Matt's comforting presence. She snuggled closer to him, sand creeping up her legs, laying her head on his chest, just below his chin, taking comfort in the warmth of his body.

"It's okay, really-"

"No, sweetheart, this is not okay. Please, don't talk about your pain as if it's all alright." Y/N sighed deeply.

"My dad called me last week..." The girl murmured, changing the subject as she played with Matt's fingers between hers. "He wanted to see me again. He said he missed me." She laughed, her laugh full of irony and sarcasm.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Y/N's phone vibrated in her pants pocket, interrupting her as she tidied up her shared room with Matt, taking advantage of the fact that he was recording a video with his brothers. She picked up the device, her brow furrowing as she saw an unknown number on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Y/N, it's me." Her father's voice sounded on the other end of the line, and Y/N swore she felt her heart instantly freeze.

"Dad." Her voice came out indifferent, completely the opposite of her emotions.

"Hey, hi! Hm, I passed by your old room the other day and thought about you, I've been missing you, you know? And I'd like to see you. Can we set up a date?"

Y/N was silent for a moment, fighting a flood of conflicting emotions. She knew she didn't want to see her father, not after all the trauma he and her mother had caused herself. But she didn't want to be rude either; despite having grown up in a troubled home, she learned from life to be kind to everyone.

"Sorry, dad." She murmured finally, her voice firm. "I'm busy. I can't." Her father was silent for long, agonizing seconds, seeming surprised and angry at the same time. "That was all that-"

"What do you mean you're busy? Are you avoiding me?" Y/N took a deep breath, closing her eyes tightly and trying to remain calm.

"It's not that, dad. I'm just busy at the moment. I need to go..."

"That's unfair, Y/N!" Her father snapped, his voice rising in anger. "I really don't understand you. First, you left home at 17 and completely disappeared from our radar in such a way that I only see updates of you through your boyfriend's ridiculous YouTube channel. All you had to do was find a rich boy, so you totally forget about me and your mother. I fed you and gave you a roof over your head all your life, and you treat me like this? You're an ungrateful brat!"

Y/N felt tears well up in her eyes, a mixture of sadness and frustration flooding her body in an atrong shiver. She knew she couldn't continue this conversation if she could even call it a conversation.

"Whatever you say, dad. I have to go." She responded quickly before hanging up the phone, her trembling fingers moving automatically as she blocked the number.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"I said no. I was so short with him. Do you think I was wrong, Matt?" She cried harder, her body shaking as the intense sobs tore from her throat.

"No, never! Baby, listen to me. Fuck your parents, okay?" Matt pulled back slightly, lifting her head gently so he could look into her eyes, seeing a strand of surprise pass through her pupils. "Fuck them for always treating you in a horrible way and totally contrary to how parents should treat their children. Fuck them for fucking your head so much to the point that you feel guilty for not wanting them in your life anymore."

Y/N tried to look away, but Matt's hand beneath her chin held her firmly - but gently - in place, stroking her jaw with his thumb lightly.

"You're amazing, Y/N. You're a strong, amazing woman, and I don't want you to feel guilty about everything that happened in your childhood because none of it was your fault! You don't have to be sorry for leaving them and growing up..." The tone of his voice was firm, while his eyes carried a tone of seriousness unlike any Y/N had ever seen.

Y/N scoffed, trying to shake her head no, her mind reminding her that she wasn't any of those good things.

"I'm serious, pretty girl. You're so strong, the strongest woman I've ever met." He whispered, loosening his grip on her chin slightly, moving his hand up so that it cupped her cheek, caressing the soft skin gently. "You can let it go, you know? You can let it all go. I promise."

"I love you. I love you so much, Matt." The girl murmured, pressing her cheek against his palm and closing her eyes slightly, her wet eyelashes caressing her flushed, wind-chilled skin.

"I'm always here for you." Matt reinforced, leaning his head close to hers and lovingly sealing her forehead with his lips for long seconds, exhaling the salty scent left by the sea.

"Now, how are we going to get back to the house with wet clothes like that?"

© vanteguccir

[jjongswannabebae]

Marriage of convenience (18+) < rich!jay x rich!fem!reader, hurt/comfort fic, lots of making out, kissing, arguments, angst, smut 18+, a lot of tears. note: first time writing smut- not proofread!! MDNI, please reblog >

Not that you minded, being set up with on a date on a mundane Wednesday wasn't on your checklist. Considering skipping it, you drawled the process of making small talk with some random geek who had cash.

Ugh. Being the only daughter of a rich man had its own plight.

"Jude, Can't I skip today's appointment with Mr. P?" You complain to your manager, Jude shirt for Judith. She keeps her eyes in the road, save for a glance, only opening her mouth,

"Do you even know who you're meeting?"

You nod profusely, "another rich kid with attitude," you finish, staring bored out the car window, watching the way birds fly, free of restraint. How you wished to live to like that.

Money can go far but you couldn't get freedom with said money.

"Well, hate to break it to you, this guy, "Mr. Park" is different,"

"You always say that," you drawl a whine puffing up your cheeks with air. "I'll stake some money if makes you happy"

Money? You had plenty but jude wasn't someone who'd set losing bets. Curious, you beam to accept her bet, having a spike in your mood.

Jude dropped you off at the posh cafe your date had scheduled to meet. Wondering who exactly this man was, convincing enough to get the stingy jude to bet bills.

Surely, he would be anything but disappointing.

Oh and how right you were.

He stood leaning back on the counter, decked in a neatly ironed silk shirt stretched across his defined shoulders, shirt buttoned down with his chest slightly exposed, sleek formal pants running down his legs loosely hung off his waist.

Okay, you admit he had great fashion sense but what about his face?

Sunglasses decked his perfect slicked jet hair, gaunt face with a killer jawline, brown eyes sharp and lips small yet kissable, ears pierced, vieny arms folded to his chest.

Jude won the bet the moment you locked eyes with him.

He was absolutely beautiful and you'd experienced what you thought was love at first sight.

He drew a smile and walked closer animatedly. Shit. Your feet were frozen to the ground as your lips parted with surprise. He stuck his hand out, "nice to meet you, I'm park jay" he offered, politely. Yet your mind and actions faltered and were a heartbeat late on grabbing onto his hand.

The rest was history. Married a year and a half later, nobody could predict the marriage would be this loveless and stagnant. Not that the public knew.

Jay Park. Hier to the one and only park estate, leading hotel series bringing wads of cash. Along with your own established wealth from your dad's company, which you assumed you'd be taking over soon.

But those dreams were crushed when jay came home with the news that a merger would take place, a year after your marriage.

Now all that you had to do was stay at home and look after him and the kids. But wait.

What kids? A loveless marriage was one thing but a sexless one was unheard of.

Yet intercourse was the only intimacy you shared with him. Hes perfect in every aspect yet incapable of affection, you'd deemed a year into the relationship.

Any show of affection like cuddling or spending time you'd initiate would fall flat or would be denied, or worst yet he'd never be there for you to initiate it. Work, home, sleep, eat. That's all he did and that's why it was all the worse.

He acted like you were invisible except the days he came home drunk and fucked you senseless. You'd consent to that but it felt meaningless, like a repeated one night stand yet you lived with the guy and were married to him.

So when your parents haunted you with the pressure of having children, you'd burst into tears upon your arrival home. You hated the fact you were so shallow and unlovable to the one man you swore to.

You ignored the pressure from your parents to have a child yet the tension mounted.

You and jay were to eat lunch with his parents and then came the infamous line, "I would love to see my grandchildren anytime soon," said Mrs. Park nonchalantly and you swear you saw jays left brow twitch. It hurt.

There was nothing wrong with you, or him for any matter. Just that your marriage never even felt like one to begin with.

"So soon?" Jay questioned, setting down his fork to the plate. You could his temple crease ever so slightly. You'd observed the man sitting next to you for a long time when he'd be with you was when he would sleep. You'd spend countless hours staring at his beautiful face, yearning for his attention, and even more far fetched, his love.

"it'll be two years soon, son" replied Mr. Park giving a stern glare towards his son, eyes flickering over you momentarily before they returned to his plate yet again.

Worthless. That was the look in mr parks eyes. He'd probably thought how hard it'd be to seduce his son, or rather get him into bed.

You sat wordless in the car, watching out the window as you did the time Jude dropped you off him to meet him for the first time. Jay sat beside you, facing the window as well. Rain poured heavy, matching your gloomy vibe from the happenings at lunch with the parks. Right, you were a Park.

Love at first sight was real when you met jay for the first time. Yet he never reciprocated anything you felt.

Tears welled in your eyes, threatening to spill yet you held them back with all your might. Not here, not infront of jay. Never had you cried when he was present. It was unnerving to see his expressionless face watch you cry.

Yet your thoughts only grew worse and before you knew it, a tear fled from your eye and a sob broke from your mouth. It was hard, feeling unwanted and isolated all the time. Those emotions flew out like a river, gaining the attention of your husband.

"you okay?" He spoke softly, like you'd shatter if he spoke any louder, and at that you sobbed harder till you broke down weeping in the car as the driver flicked his eyes to the back seat repeatedly, wondering what commotion was taking place.

Jay asked the driver to drop you two off at their hotel, and the tyres swerved to the right, soon infront the entrance. Jay urged you to calm down and get down the vehicle. You complied and wiped your tears away, standing there as the cold wind hit your face. Yet again you felt like crying.

Jay grabbed you by the hand and tried to haul you inside as fast as possible, but you slapped his hand away, "I'll take myself there," His eyebrow twitched and raised, leaning closer to your ear to whisper, "there're eyes on us, the paparazzi is right here so just get inside," he seethed through his teeth.

At his words you panned your head around, merely for jay to put his arms to your knees and neck and pick you up and head for the roundabout back entrance. Absolutely stunned that he lifted you up with no struggle, you watched him maneuver with your mouth slightly parted.

On the elevator to the largest suite, accessible by family, you asked to let down. "No," he replied, keeping his eyes on the doors of the elevator. You didn't protest further and cozied up to his chest. He took three strides to the door and whipped it open and peered inside.

He let you down and trapped you to the door, his forehead pressing against yours. His breathing was erratic, his eyes showed emotion. *What's wrong," he let out in between exasperated breaths.

And the tears came again.

"Everything," you quip and wiping away you erratic tears with the back of your hand, leveraging your weight in the door to stand up straighter and look him dead set in his eyes.

"Do you even know anything about me? What I like to do, what I like to eat, what's my favourite color... Do you even love the person you're married too?"

He opens his mouth devoid of swords, eyes guilty shoulders heavy of burden. "You like to dance, you like spicy food, and your favourite color is," he starts small, working his mind through all the things he knew about you, "purple?"

"blue,"

"oh."

"what was the name of the dog I had when I was younger?"

Silence.

"Bruno," you answer, disappointment filling your being as you stare the guilt stricken man facing you. "At this rate you probably never felt anything for me, let alone love." He leaned his head to the door behind you, keeping his hand to your shoulder and whispering to your ear, "do you know why I've been distant with you?"

"if what you mean by distant is ignoring my every attempt and instant of me trying to express my emotions to you in the past two years, then, no. Probably except the fact you don't like me but needed someone to fill in the position of your wife." You huff, letting your true feelings show, the pack of interaction between you two hurt you a lot more than you thought.

"Perhaps your criteria was to find someone smart but quiet, pretty but not attention seeking and lastly a nice body would be a plus point, I suppose," you finish, one hand settling on his nape and the other his back. You keep your eyes trained on his, batting them ever so often so you wouldn't cry with word you uttered.

At first, jay showed no signs of response except guilt, then his face contorted to confusion and lastly to anger. The crease on his forehead from burying his eyebrows downward as he almost glared at you with a fire lit in his eyes.

"So you think I'm using you," he says, and you nod, solely for him to sneer and pull back from your hold, stepping closer and claiming you up the door as he swung his arm round your waist and one hand to your face, tilting it upto him, and dipping his head down to your eye level. Your lips were mere centimetres apart from collision. Eyeing your lips he grazed his thumb past your lips.

"You talk like you know the whole story, darling. It's not a good habit to make assumptions," he said drawing a line down your lips, his finger slipping past making a small smacking sound

"well then what's your reasoning to leaving me devoid of affection? Before you say you sent gifts, I know your assistant picked them, the clothes he sent were chosen with little to no fashion sense, whereas you have an exceptional dressing style so don't say you bought me those items, darling." You muse replicate his fiery response with sass.

He watches you with contemplating whether to tell or not. "We were only supposed to be married for a year." He starts slow, taking in your facials, watching as your eyes widened and practically urged him to continue. "The merger wasn't going to happen, you were supposed to take over," he said calmly, knowing how much of a touchy subject this was to you, having prepared your whole life to head the company and ultimately not being able too.

"But the results shown over the one year we were meant tobe together showed immensely worthy and the merger took place, therefore nullifying our one year marriage,"

Like rains drops now fell from the sky, the sunny days his behind the clouds like your tears behind your eyelids. Jay couldn't bare to see you look so vulnerable. He felt as though he was the cause for these misunderstandings, which he was not completely but partly.

"I, I never signed any contract,"

"It wasn't meant to be signed by us, it was unanimous decision,"

"So now they want us to act like a couple? Do they even know how hurt I felt to be ignored for a year, how it felt to feel unwanted and unlovable?" A stray tear strolled down your cheeks as anger creeped up your voice. It was unfathomable to you, to be lied to by your own parents, and possibly jay too.

"Had you known we'd last for only a year?"

"...yes" he paused, waiting for the information to sink into you, hoping it wouldn't shatter you more. Your head spun in circles as you struggled to get away from him, pushing as his chest as tears streamed down your face, brushing past him to sit on the couch to relieve your dizziness.

You sat there and cried while jay watched you unwind into a tears, unsure of what to do. 'I didn't want to fall for you, because I'd have to leave eventually but I couldn't stop myself from catching feelings when I was around you. I decided it would be best for me not to be there for you and I'm aware of my mistake here... But apologizing won't make the hurt and damage you faced go away. You're free to take your call, whether it may be divorce or not, and don't worry about our parents, I'll handle them."

You panned your head up at the word divorce, shifting to your feet and striding over to jay, where he stood previously, stuck in place. You faced and a loud smacked echoed across the room, his head turned 180 degrees, his cheek red with the strike of your palm.

"Atleast tell me you'll love me now, asshole,"

He put a palm to his cheek, running the area you struck him, watching your tear dried somber face, more threatening to brim out the ledge. "I'm sorry." He apologized, hanging his head low with shame and guilt.

"One thing you've never done to me," eyes conveying different sorts of emotions, "is kiss me."

He looked rather surprised at the observation, "I knew if I kissed you, there'd be no going back, both mentally and physically."

"Jay weve fucked before for hours yet you never kissed me once, didn't you think I'd find it strange? And when were you going to tell me about this whole one year marriage clause being nullified, meaning we'd spend the rest of our lives together part? Not that I didn't think we'd spend our whole lives together but I guess we thought different."

"I was planning to, but the time was never right, so..."

You turned your back to him and walked to the suites bedroom and to the bathroom, jay following behind slowly. Splashing water to your face and drying it off, seeing an awkward jay hanging around in the tension of the air. "Sit," you ordered, pointing to the ledge of the bed. Confused, he still complied, comfying himself on the edge of the bed.

"Good,"you commented, hiking up on the bed and onto jays lap to his surprise, situating yourself atop of him, staring back down to his glasses over pupils, red and swollen from the lack of sleep and fatigue. "Are you tired, darling" this time saying the nickname endearingly. "Not really,"

"then kiss me,"

Flustered by your demand, he began stuttering, "Are you sure? Like really?" You nodded along, "yes,"

"then I guess I could," he became nervous, but built up the the courage to put his hand to the back of head and slowly press down in it till your lips met his. The motion started out awkward, then jay relaxed after a few seconds or so and found a rhythm you could match.

The dynamic of the intensified as jay began settling into reality that he was kissing his wife. Swiveling his tongue around yours he began tasting every corner of your mouth, exploring every inch. You attempted to pull away due to lack of air but he held you back your hair aggressively tugging to his lapping tongue.

You moaned his mouth, hand squeezing his shoulder for stability, swiping over your bottom lip, and softly biting your lip, he let go of the insane grip he had on you. You heaved your chest up and down, messing your hair. You pushed down to the bed, sitting on top of him.

He tugged your arm towards him and you were face to face with jay. He brushed past hair intruding your picturesque visual. He lifted up your shirt enough to expose your stomach and rubbed past the expanse soothingly. He picked you and flipped you over and onto your back and made you scoot to the headrest.

The two of your made out for another few minutes or so only pulling back when in dire need of oxygen. Your lips were swollen but you were addicted. Even though the two if you had got intimate before, it was nothing compared to the emotions you felt through this. You sat up on the bed to catch your breath and ruffled through his hair endearingly.

With your approval he yanked your shirt off, then he stripped off his shirt, trapping you in between his legs. "You kiss me," he breathed out and situated his hands behind back to suport both his and your weight. You lunged at him and connected your lips to his, grinding down where your body met as he let out the soft noises from his mouth as he moved to kiss at his jaw, your hands running the expanse of his well built chest and back.

You obsessed over marking his jaw and neck for a good few minutes before travelling down to his nape, marking and sucked the area. You peppered kisses back up to his lips, taking his bottom lip between your teeth,feeling the vibrations of his groans down to your wet spot and grinded harder but free tired and settled on top of his clothes hardness.

He returned the favour by making you mean with every touch, electrifying you body. You but as his ear when his began to touch you through your remaining clothes, still keeping his lips fixated on yours. Approaching closer to your high you became hypersensitive of his every action he performed on you.

He set you on him and forced you down onto his hard-on till you cried of pleasure, riding off the whiteness by laying you down on the bed and dropping up on his elbows to kiss you. You felt immense pleasure and relief, showing your gratitude by jerking him off.

Tired, you laid on the bed in his arms, still thinking about the events that took place. "At this rate, we could just expect a kid," you say, laughing it off as a joke, "then we'll have to get to work.* He replied with a giggle and you buried yourself in his chest with a smile.

[tealvenetianmask]

We need some Barbie Wire Analysis . . .

Because for a character with maybe . . . 2-3 minutes of screen time, she sure has an outsized importance in the show. This is rivaled only by Tilla, who we know even less about.

Barbie gets the major callback in the last scene of Season 2. As other bloggers have pointed out, it could have been Fizz, who's a much bigger character so far. Fizz hated Blitz for 15 years, and they were able to finally reconcile-- even though 15 years is still a long time, that would have been, arguably, a more hopeful, comforting story for Stolas to hear.

But Barb, well, she's on his mind. She always is. "I miss her every day."

Barbie's absense, I think, is made more real by the way in which the show introduces her through photos, and she's never overtly mentioned in all of Season 1.

We're told that Blitz has a twin, that they performed together in the circus (or maybe after), and through her non-mentions, that something bad happened.

Then she's in the photo that makes Blitz finally break down at the end of Ozzie's.

I like how the twins mirror each other here. Similar eyes and face shapes, circus marks on their foreheads, pointy teeth, simple joy and enthusiasm. Whatever their lives were like at that time, they experienced it together, and there were good times.

Barb is central to Blitz's loss and his capacity for love.

We finally meet Barb in Unhappy Campers, and the way she's introduced . . . well. Unfortunately a lot of us were so disappointed that Blitz wasn't going to visit Stolas that we couldn't fully process what he was doing. When he first asked about Barb, my first reaction was "who?"

But that hasn't been Blitz's experience. He's just been keeping a major part of his day to day thoughts and feelings from us.

This nurse knows what's up. He's come back again and again to see Barb, and no taser can deter him.

It's such an obvious and central part of his life- missing Barb, trying to reconnect with her, that he seems honestly unaware that he's never told Moxxie about her at all.

It might feel like we're thrown into an emotional family confrontation out of nowhere, but Blitz has gone through years, potentially, of trying to get Barb to talk to him and being shut down. The hurt in his face, how it wears on him, and how he can't bear to give up hope. Well. It's all there.

So at this point, we still don't know Barb deeply. We only know what Blitz has told us, but more importantly, how he reacts to her absence, how he refuses to give up.

It tells us a lot about his stubbornness, the fine line he walks between resilience, hope, and just a pigheaded refusal to give up.

Maybe Barb is a part of why Blitz is like this. Maybe losing her taught him that some things are so important that it's worth never giving up, even if continuing to try is painful.

Maybe there will be a reconciliation, in part or in full.

But honestly, I also won't mind if a lesson Blitz needs to learn is that sometimes you do need to give up on someone you love. For that person's freedom to reinvent themselves. For your own sanity and contentment in life.

And if Blitz does let her go (at least of the practical fight to reconnect)? He'll think of her every day still.

[haza8877]

Short Message: What Do You Need to Let Go of Right Now?

Hello everyone, I’m back! 🤗 It’s been quite a while since I last posted a reading on Tumblr — how have you all been? Our world has been going through many major shifts lately. We're currently in a 9 year — the year of karma🧿. So I hope that all of us can stay mindful, peaceful, and careful in every decision we make.🪷 I’m returning with a short reading, and I hope you’ll enjoy it. If anyone is interested in a personal mini reading, feel free to check it out here.

Pile 1 -> Pile 2 -> Pile 3

Pile 1

(4 of pentacles, 7 of swords)

Hello, pile 1. Thank you for choosing this reading.

With the 4 of pentacles, I feel that what you need to let go of right now is exactly what you're trying so hard to hold onto.

It seems like you’re straining to keep something that you once worked hard to obtain — whether it’s a job, a relationship, or simply a sense of control rooted in fear and insecurity.

Letting go might feel incredibly difficult, especially after all the time and energy you’ve invested. But I don’t sense true happiness in the act of holding on, either. What I’m picking up here is anxiety, instability, and the fear of loss.

Some of you may be worried about finances, for example — even though your current job no longer fulfills you or meets your needs, you’re choosing to cling to it out of fear that you won’t find anything better.

In essence, you're holding onto something that no longer aligns with your growth, just because you're afraid to let go.

But this is exactly what the universe is asking you to release.

With the 7 of swords, the advice here is: be honest with yourself.

It feels like many of you are still not facing the truth. Deep down, you may already know it’s time to stop forcing or justifying the situation — but you're choosing to make excuses, often out of fear.

Maybe you're afraid to admit that what you’re clinging to no longer fits who you’ve become. Maybe you fear that if you let it go, you won’t know what to do next.

But the message here is clear: let go of the need to control or to hide.

Being truthful about how you really feel and what you truly need is the first step toward real freedom and healing.

"You can't hold the world with clenched fists."

Sometimes, to receive what’s meant for you, you have to loosen your grip and trust that letting go is not the end — it’s the beginning.

Pile 2

(The Hanged Man, King of wands)

Hello, pile 2. How are you doing? Thank you for choosing this reading.

Starting off with your cards, we have The Hanged Man. I feel that what you need to let go of right now is procrastination—but not the kind that comes from simple hesitation. It feels more like you're staying frozen in a certain place, situation, or belief system where nothing is really growing or changing. This might be due to circumstances, or it might be something you've chosen—to stay still out of fear or uncertainty. I sense that some of you have thoughts like:

“Let me wait a little longer, the right moment will come,”

or “I’m not ready to act yet—I need a clearer sign.”

In reality, you’ve stayed in this state for too long, and it’s become familiar—maybe even safe. But that’s exactly what you’re being asked to release now: the delay, the passive mindset, and the habit of over-sacrificing yourself.

This card also speaks of an outdated perspective—you may be looking at your situation through a lens that no longer serves your growth. So what the universe is asking you to let go of is this stagnation, the fear of stepping outside your comfort zone, and the wasted time on things that no longer nourish you.

With the King of wands, the advice here is: It’s time to reignite your passion—your confidence, your clarity, and your courage to act, instead of continuing to wait passively.

I also sense that you could benefit from seeking advice or guidance from someone experienced and sincere in your life—perhaps a boss, a father figure, or simply someone you deeply trust.

As a small ritual, you might try writing down everything that feels stuck, everything that makes you feel anxious or stagnant—then burn that paper as a symbolic act of using fire energy to release those blocks.

"Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect."

Pile 3

(The Hierophant rv, 3 of cups rv)

Hello, pile 3. Thank you for choosing this reading.

Well, with the reversed Hierophant, I get the strong feeling that many of you are currently living in an environment or situation that doesn't align with your true self — one that feels restrictive and uncomfortable.

To be more specific, it seems that you’re under a lot of pressure to carry on something — perhaps a family tradition, an inherited career path, or simply the expectations of those around you — instead of living in accordance with who you truly are. You're trying to "do the right thing", to follow the rules and stay within the lines — but that very effort is causing you to feel disconnected, stifled, and lost.

This card can also reflect a deep fear of being judged if you choose a different path — or a sense of guilt for wanting to step away from the road that others have laid out for you. (For example: studying a certain major just to meet family expectations, sticking with a “stable” job even though it drains you, or following a spiritual belief system that no longer resonates with your soul.)

On a deeper level, I also sense that some of you may be starting to question your faith or spiritual path — something you once held sacred. There may be confusion, doubt, or even a crisis of belief as you begin to sift through your spiritual identity, seeking to understand what truly feels right for you now.

This process is not a regression or a collapse of your spiritual journey. On the contrary — it’s a sign that you’re going deeper, and walking further on your path with more awareness and authenticity.

With the reversed 3 of pentacles, I also feel that many of you are not truly connected to the community, workplace, or environment you're currently in. You might be trying to blend in, to cooperate, to “make it work” — but deep down, you know this isn’t your place, and these aren’t your people.

It’s painful to feel alone even in a group where you're supposed to belong.

But the truth is: you’re not meant to fit into a space that doesn’t honor who you are.

This is your call to choose yourself, unapologetically. To stop compromising your truth for the sake of others’ comfort or approval.

This isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. Only by choosing yourself can you begin to walk the path that truly aligns with your spirit.

"Forge your own path — you were never meant to follow."

And that’s it for today’s reading. I hope you’ll continue to support my upcoming readings here on the blog! Thank you so much for always supporting and following my blog. Love you all 🪷❤️🙏🏻

[lotuswish]

˗ˏˋ what loving you feels like to them (pt. 1 - scarabia) 𓆗 .ᐟ

synopsis: have you ever wondered what falling in love feels like for each twisted wonderland boy? this series explores love from their perspective-how their personalities, experiences, and desires shape what loving you means to them.

featured character(s): jamil viper, kalim al-asim.

content warning(s): none.

a/n: my first post w my favorite boys <3 revised and reposted from my reblogging account, @jamilvapologist.

link(s): (masterlist) (pt. 1 - you are here) (pt. 2 - savanaclaw) (pt. 3 - heartslabyul) (pt. 4 - ignihyde) (pt. 5 - pomefiore) (pt. 6 - octavinelle) (pt. 7 - diasomnia)

jamil viper

loving you feels like both a rebellion and a sanctuary for jamil viper.

it’s rebellion because love, for him, is not something he was meant to indulge in freely. his life has been carefully calculated, structured around duty, subservience, and suppression of his desires. loving you feels like stepping out of the shadows that have defined him for so long, daring to claim something for himself in a world where his needs have always come second. it’s a quiet act of defiance against the chains of expectation, a decision to prioritize his own heart over the demands of others.

but loving you is also a sanctuary, a space where jamil doesn’t need to perform or conceal. around you, he feels seen—not as kalim’s attendant, not as scarabia’s vice housewarden, not as the person constantly managing everyone else’s chaos—but simply as himself. it’s an unfamiliar vulnerability that both terrifies and exhilarates him. you are his reprieve from a life of pretending, the one who notices when he’s tired without him needing to say it, the one who knows when he craves comfort instead of perfection.

loving you is not easy for him. it feels like a constant push-and-pull between his guarded instincts and the growing need to trust you, to let you see the cracks in his composed exterior. at times, it feels selfish, as though he’s stealing moments of happiness that don’t belong to him. yet, the warmth of your presence, the way you genuinely care, reminds him that this love is not a burden but a gift.

for jamil, loving you feels like breathing fresh air after years of suffocation. it’s freedom and fear. it’s knowing that, for the first time, he has something—someone—he’s terrified of losing. and even though it scares him, he cannot imagine a life without you. you are his rebellion. you are his sanctuary. you are the one thing he wants to keep, no matter the cost.

kalim al asim

loving you feels like sunshine to kalim al-asim—warm, boundless, and all-encompassing. it feels like something that’s always been there, waiting for him to reach out and hold it, like the happiness he’s known all his life but brighter, deeper, and more profound. kalim has always been surrounded by laughter and love, but loving you is different. it’s not the easy affection of a family feast or the shallow camaraderie of a crowd. it’s personal. it’s intimate. it’s you, and that makes it special in a way he can’t put into words.

for someone whose life has been filled with excess—wealth, luxury, and abundance—kalim has always craved something that couldn’t be bought or given to him out of duty: genuine connection. loving you feels like finally finding the one thing he’s been missing, the piece that makes everything else meaningful. it’s the way you see him for who he is, not as the heir to the asim family fortune or the endlessly cheerful boy who never seems to have a care in the world, but as kalim. you see him when he feels invisible, and that makes his love for you limitless.

loving you feels effortless and endless, but it also makes him vulnerable in a way he’s never experienced before. for someone who has always been generous to a fault, giving all of himself to you comes naturally, but for the first time, he realizes how much it hurts to be scared of losing someone. he’s not used to fear, but the thought of you slipping away leaves him restless. it makes him treasure every moment, every laugh, every time you smile at him like he’s your whole world.

loving you feels like freedom. it’s dancing in the streets, laughing without restraint, and knowing that no matter where life takes him, as long as you’re there, he’ll be happy. you make him feel like he doesn’t have to prove anything or live up to anyone’s expectations. loving you is joy in its purest form, a happiness that doesn’t come from wealth or extravagance but from the simple, profound act of being with someone who truly loves him back.

for kalim, loving you feels like discovering that the world is even bigger, brighter, and more beautiful than he ever thought possible. it’s exhilarating and overwhelming, but he embraces it without hesitation, because that’s who he is. loving you is a gift, one he cherishes with his whole heart, and he’ll do anything to make sure you feel the same.

congrats on making it to the end! if you enjoyed this, likes, comments, follows, and reblogs are always appreciated—they help motivate me to keep creating and sharing!

[thehighladywrites]

THE VANSERRA BROTHERS, NSFW ALPHABET

pairing: lucien vanserra x reader, eris vanserra x reader, azriel and rhys mentioned

summary: doing the nsfw alphabet with the vanserras!

warnings: obviously nsfw, 18+, tw: beron🤢

amara’s note: doing it for my criminally underrated babes, trust there will be more vanserra content

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Eris: If this man is not in love with you or you’re a one night stand and a random person, i don’t think there’ll be much aftercare tbh. He would not be cruel, he would just not care. If he’s in love with you he takes care of you, is very caring and has a routine he follows. Cuddles is very important when ur mated bc he is criminally touched starved

Lucien: He is nice whether he’s in love or not. I believe Lucien makes ppl fall in love with him unintentionally bc of his caring nature. But he would def clean you up and let you cuddle next to him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Eris: For him: his fingers, he’s super skilled with them and he knows how to really use them. They look very nice too. For his partner: Their ass bc he’s an ass slaper and i will not elaborate

Lucien: For him: his tounge/mouth. Makes people go insane. For his partner: anything he can put his hands on. He does not discriminate, he loves every part of your body and he will show it

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Eris: loves painting your face. I’ll be so real, i see him smirking down at you when he cums on your face bc now you’re marked as his, the ultimate claim

Lucien: he loooooooves coming inside. Having your warmth wrapped around his sensitive cock as he spills his cum inside is his fav thing on earth

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Eris: You’re the dirty secret. No one knows about you, and i mean NO ONE bc he knows what happened to Jesminda and he will not let it happen to you

Lucien: before you got together, he used to make up scenarios in his head with you. Dirty scenarios but also sweet ones and he will never ever admit it ever

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Eris: tbh not a lot. with beron🤢 around, he has more important things to focus on like his survival and taking over the throne. He has had sex a handful of times but he doesn’t actively seek it out bc you know, he’s trying not to die

Lucien: okay so js like eris, i think he didn’t have a lot of time to have sex while he was in autumn. when he moved to spring, it was like a college student experiencing freedom for the first time. sorry but he becomes the sluttiest sexual being in prythian after helion. i fully believe lucien has been fucking around in every court, every city, every town. I know this male has a bunch of fans around prythian who pray they run into him again

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Eris: missionary, spooning, mating press

Lucien: 69, doggy, cowgirl with his hands behind his head as he watched with a smirk (slut move)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Eris: He isn’t very goofy, more serious when he is with a one night stand but with his mate he lets loose, he has fun and is very playful. 100% mocks your moans and very gently dumbs you down.

Lucien: is a jokester through and through, he makes dirty jokes, makes you giggle and is just a fun male to bed

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Eris: he trimms, regulary and is very particular about it. he has a happy trail😫

Lucien: either clean shaved or trimmed too. might fuck around and trim a lightning bolt just for funsies

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Eris: very romantic, in the bedroom it’s just you and him alone and he will pour his entire soul out, he will lay himself bare. It was something he didn’t wanna do at first be he has grown more comfortable with intimacy. He is very touch starved so any sort of intimacy soothes him

Lucien: a loverboy. he loves the closeness of being intimate, he loves how it is a private moment between two people and he will def make it a goal to be intimate atleast once a day

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Eris: would jerk off sometimes pre mated, but with a mate, he just fucks if he’s horny and you allow it

Lucien: jacks off infront of you, mutual masturbation is his thing. he does it while he is away at missions and imagine you in his head

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Eris: mommy kink, breeding, daddy kink, orgasm control, exhibitionism

Lucien: daddy kink, overstimulation, temperature play, spanking

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Eris: He prefers to be at home, whether it's in the bedroom, shower, or living room - anywhere familiar enough to make him feel secure. It's not just for his sake, but for yours as well. Being in a familiar environment allows him to be at ease, knowing the layout of the house so he can better protect you. In this comfort zone, he can relax and take his time, making sure youre safe.

Lucien: risky places, anywhere and everywhere. throne room, rhysands library, the spring gardens, behind ritas, on top of his kitchen table, just everywhere

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Eris: you having an attitude is a one way ticket to getting some dick. eris loves when you banter and he loves how feisty you get when you’re arguing with him. It’s a massive turn on seeing you all worked up. he’s a little shit so he provokes you to get you more worked up

Lucien: he loves seeing you all bruised up and tired after sex, it makes him go crazy knowing it’s him doing it to you. Just you covered in his marks is enough to get him going. Fucking loves it when other ppl see it, Rhys mentioned it once and Lucien’s head damn near couldn’t fit through the door bc it so fucking big

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Eris: humiliation. he knows first hand how it feels to be humiliated by someone who is supposed to be a loved one, so he will never ever do anything that will make you sad. also anything that hurts you physically such as knife play, extreme spanking and hardcore bdsm is a massive no. he wants to bring you pleasure not pain.

Lucien: he will absolutely not share you with anyone, it’s a massive no bc he wants any intimacy ti remain between you. He couldn’t live knowing someone looked at you as you came or experienced pleasure. it’s for him and him only

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Eris: lovessss receiving. there’s just something about your mouth wrapped around his cock that drives him to the edge of insanity. He loves making eye contact with you when you blow him, and if you keep it, he’ll nut within seconds. The visual of you on your knees makes him lose it, and he’ll cum right on your face, usually without warning. He apologizes right after though. he’s also very good at giving too, trust me this man is good

Lucien: EATER EATER EATER EATERRR, holy fuck this male eats good. he eats like he’s starving, i’m talking messy, spitting, licking, sucking. ugh he’s a munch

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Eris: depends on your mood, if you guys are hot and bothered then he will be a bit more rough. Otherwise he takes his time, worshipping every inch of you.

Lucien: he’s a slow sensual one and it drives you crazy bc no matter how needy you are, he will drag it out bc he loves seeing the desperation on your face. He also wants to savor the moment

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Eris: views them as a challenge, he likes to see just how quickly he can make both you and him cum in a short span of time. It’s not his preference but he still thinks it’s fun

Lucien: loves quickies bc he will do it everywhere, and i mean everywhere as long as no one gets to see your pretty face. will happily take you to a closet, someones bedroom, a basement, behind a rock js anywhere really

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Eris: down to experiment with anything as long as it isn’t hurtful to you

Lucien: his limits are your limits. he’s down to try anything at least once and if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Eris: he’s a high fae, bro has unlimited stamina but he’ll go as long as you want

Lucien: until you’re tired, just like eris, he’s high fae so he doesn’t get tired

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Eris: didn’t own any toys before you. he uses them primarily on you. would be open to the idea if you wanted to experiment. he likes using those couple toys where ur both get stimulation

Lucien: Has used and will use almost every toy known. Loves using them on you and watching you use them. mutual masturbation goes crazy tbh.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Eris: he’s a slutty one ngl he likes to tease just as much as he likes to be teased. he’ll do it accordingly tho bc he doesn’t like wanna deprive you of pleasure. he’s very unfair when ur being mouthy tho

Lucien: : It’s ridiculous with the amount that he likes to tease. He builds you up with his mouth, bringing you just dangling at the edge before pulling away. can be very VERY unfair but just like eris, he always satisfies you

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Eris: okay so i fully believe he isn’t loud in the beginning bc he’s reserved. so like the first few times you have sex, he holds back and when you tell him to relax and to enjoy himself he let’s go. He’s a moaner and a groaner. Eris will let out the prettiest sounds when he’s close, murmuring curse words under his breath and talking about how good you feel around him.

Lucien: mostly soft grunts, raspy moans, quiet whimpers and literally does not shut up with praise, ever. so imagine those slutty raspy moans, yeah that’s him

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Eris: Fantasy is to fuck you and have Azriel walk in because he knows he's into you and it'll show him exactly who it is that you belong to. He would actually die of happiness if it ever happened

Lucien: he loves it when you wear slutty clothes bc he gives ‘wear whatever u want i can fight’ energy and that’s so fucking hot of him. he also teaches you how to rizz. 1000% will do that scheme where you flirt with a stranger and then he comes up and acts like the jealous boyfriend

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Eris: big dick, but not uncomfy big. he didn’t think about the fact he has an impressive size until you start praising him and just keep talking about his size. he has a lean and lithe body, not super buff but he has muscles for SURE, i just know his arms are ridiculously big. his abs are very visible too

Lucien: come on guys. we all know he’s got a third leg, let’s not even start. he knows it, you know it, i know it, prythian knows it. Okay he had massive biceps, i’m talking ‘crush-someones-head-like-a-watermelon’ biceps. he has a sturdy chest and nice abs. he is a warrior, he is BUILTTTTTT

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eris: listen he loves sex, he has a high drive and all but for him it’s touch. he yearns for anyone to touch him. he doesn’t voice it until ur mates bc he views it as a weakness to be touch starved until you tell him it’s okay, undoing centuries of berons🤢 disgusting words

Lucien: he has a high sex drive, he loves you, he loves sex and combining them is top tier

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Eris: after aftercare, when ur all cleaned up and toasty under the covers, he’ll let himself sleep. he will stay up as long as ur awake

Lucien: he also cleans you up but he falls asleep first. his fav place is on top of you, under the covers with his head nuzzled into your neck

🏷️: @minaethrym @artists-ally @clairebear08 @redbleedingrose @berryzxx @thelov3lybookworm @cupidojenphrodite

[mysticalserenity-tarot]

🌟 What's coming for you in the next few months? (Pick a pile)

{How to pick a pile? First, take a deep breath with your eyes closed to clear your mind. When you open your eyes, don't hesitate – pick the image that immediately grabs your attention or stirs up a memory. Remember, you can pick more than one pile if you feel called to. If none of the images stand out for you, it means there's no message for you at this time. You can always come back to it later.}

𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣

Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3 (from left to right)

Hello, and always a huge thank you to everyone for your incredible support, it means a lot to me!

In this collective pick a pile reading, we'll explore what's in store for you in the upcoming few months. Let's see where your energy takes us.

Disclaimer: This is a collective reading I picked up on multiple energies, so please only take what resonates and leave the rest. When something resonates you usually feel a light energy and in your heart you can feel it's your message, and the pic that attracts you is a clearly sign.

𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣

🕗 PILE 1

5 of Cups, 10 of Swords, The Emperor

(I'm sorry, this is going to be pretty long 😅)

Hello Pile 1, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in!

First thing I notice: Your cards have all the energy of freedom, and I sense many free-spirited people in this pile, those who do not conform to any strict rules. I also sense some writers amongst you. You prefer to struggle on your own rather than asking for help - oh, my dear Pile 1, I feel you. You need to know that asking for help is not a shameful thing to do. Your loved ones will be more than happy to hold your hand and guide you. You don't listen to anybody, but those that have your best at heart are willing to bring you to higher heights. I sense that you're currently experiencing a period of stagnation, even some conflict with yourself. You may have been hurt by something or someone which put you in a state where you feel like you don't want to do anything, but please do not neglect yourself. I promise better days will come for you. While some of you may be experiencing a dark period, remember that the light is always at the end of the tunnel. Therefore, my advice to you is to never give up and let challenges faze you, as challenges are all lessons, and I promise you'll come back stronger.

What's coming for you are better days indeed - brighter days! I see you getting in a position of authority, and leadership, which will make you stronger and proud of yourself. For others, but a just a few, you may encounter a masculine figure with leadership qualities, it may be your boss or even a potential lover, perhaps your boss will turn into your future lover – I sense a connection here. In the spread in front of me, you're literally looking at this person. They could be a fire or earth sign or have those prominent in their chart. [ friendly reminder, tarot is all about energy and not gender ] Either way, there's going to be stability in your life. This is highlighted not only by the numbers present on the cards, but also by the prominent colors of brown in your spread, which symbolize stability, earthy vibes, and peace. You may also undertake shadow work, which will help you connect with your inner child and foster happiness and peace within yourself, making you stronger and resilient when facing hardships. I also sense orange, which indicates success and encouragement. You're being encouraged to move forward, and steer clear of negative energies which can only bring misfortune.

In conclusion, whether it's a pushing or a willing move, I foresee calm waters in your near future, allowing you to regain lost peace and energy. Some of you may physically travel to another country for holidays or even move permanently. I sense that you may be feeling a bit anxious about this, which is natural when stepping out of your comfort zone. However, these changes will be advantageous to your well-being and overall happiness.

Freedom, transformation, and struggle are crucial themes for you in the coming months.

Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 1.

Note: -If you enjoyed this and my other readings, and you'd like to support me further, you can do so on my ko-fi, I'd greatly appreciate it. It's not mandatory.

-For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [dvinecrystl@gmail.com]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together. [I will be providing more details on my paid readings in the future. Keep an eye out for it]

🕗 PILE 2

2 of Pentacles, the High Priestess, Temperance

Hello Pile 2, and welcome to your reading. Let's dive in!

I sense that you're currently juggling multiple things, stuck between two distinct paths. It could be about love or career. Some of you are indecisive about job opportunities, while others are uncertain about whether to stay or leave a relationship. Trust your intuition if it feels toxic, and listen to your heart. I feel like many of you are evaluating whether to confess something to loved ones.

In the coming months, I foresee you regaining balance. You'll place more trust in your intuition and listen to yourself more than ever. You'll find balance in various aspects of your life, possibly juggling between career and love. Many of you have detached from the divine/universe, perhaps even abandoned it. However, in the coming months, you'll reconnect with the divine and strengthen your relationship with it. Overall, you'll prioritize your own needs, and the universe (or your beliefs) will bring you to a point of desperation so that you can learn from this lesson and focus on yourself. I'm casually singing on my mind the song "a flash in the night" by Secret Service may signifies unexpected insights or moments of revelation that help you navigate the challenges ahead - which is confirmed by the Ace of Swords coming twice in your reading, and for some also a sign that it's your pile - maybe you listened to it lately or you were born in the 80s, same period when this song was released. Take it how it resonates. It also indicates a need to work on your root chakra for those who aren't, which will be beneficial for grounding and connecting with the earth - the High Priestess may indicate a blessing in disguise involving the Akashic Records; self-discovery - you're going to learn more about yourself, which will also bring you to make better decisions and beneficial only for you.

2/22/222 may be significant (and ironically this is pile 2! 😁) also, it indicated clever decisions which you'll make or have to in order to get close to your goals and reach success. I believe in you, guys!

Balance, inner strenght, reconnection with the divine are important themes for you in the upcoming months.

Thank you for allowing to read your energy, Pile 2.

Note: -If you enjoyed this and my other readings, and you'd like to support me further, you can do so on my ko-fi, I'd greatly appreciate it. It's not mandatory.

-For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [dvinecrystl@gmail.com]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together. [I will be providing more details on my paid readings in the future. Keep an eye out for it]

🕗 PILE 3

8 of Cups, 2 of Wands, Knight of Wands

You're leaving something hurtful behind, aren't you? I feel like you're fed up with suffering and moving towards the bright light - well done, beautiful! But there's still uncertainty about whether to accept that job opportunity or that potential romance. You're seeing others realizing your dreams and you're here like "when it's going to be my turn?" Both of these choices have a waiting period, as the saying goes, 'good things come to those who wait.' This is exactly what your reading represents. If you're evaluating a decision, go for it because it will free you from the burden. You may resonate with pile 2, check it if you felt attracted to it.

In the upcoming months, you'll experience the sweet breeze through your hair, the feeling of lightness in your feet, and the warmth of the sun on your skin. Many of you are stuck in your comfort zones, and I know it isn't easy to leave them. However, if you don't try, you'll never know what opportunities await. Your passion will be reignited, and you'll find joy either with your loved ones or alone. Some of you will finally take this "risk" and you're going to celebrate this big achievement and finally be proud and love yourself more, which is also the key of manifestations coming into fruition. Others of you are going to meet a youthful energy, like a knight taking you on adventures. This person, whether a lover, friend, or family member, will bring you new experiences and might even pull you out of your comfort zone. Take it as a sign from the universe that you need to step out of your comfort zone. My dear, you're too focused on work/studies and likely have exams, you need some relaxation and experiences/adventures that will light your mind. Keep pushing yourself, but remember to take breaks to not get stuck in this negative energy causing you to burn out sooner or later.

Leaving what no longer serves you, stepping out of your comfort zone, and finding exciting new opportunities, are all important themes for you in the coming months.

Thank you for allowing me to read your energy, Pile 3.

Note: -If you enjoyed this and my other readings, and you'd like to support me further, you can do so on my ko-fi, I'd greatly appreciate it. It's not mandatory.

-For further guidance or a personalized reading, feel free to book a reading through my Tumblr DM or email [dvinecrystl@gmail.com]. I'm here to help you navigate life's challenges and find clarity. We can decide the price together. [I will be providing more details on my paid readings in the future. Keep an eye out for it]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ANY LIKE/REBLOG/COMMENT IS APPRECIATED, ALSO IF YOU LET ME KNOW IF IT RESONATED.

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK.

ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EACH ONE OF YOU'S SUPPORT, I'M GRATEFUL 🤗🤍

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note that I used AI language bot to help improve grammar and spelling in my readings, as English is not my first language. However, the interpretations and insights provided in my readings are all my work, based on my intuition and the cards' symbolism.

Disclaimer: Tarot readings are for entertainment purposes only and are not meant to predict or dictate your future. The cards provide insights and guidance, but the ultimate power of choice lies with you.

[streamafterlaughter]

Hiiii been reading your stuff for a little bit (which gagged loveee) and thought I'd try my hand at a lil request if that's alright?

So if you're feeling inspired, would you be down for a fic featuring Eddie or Steve, where the reader gets overstimulated by like a party or a concert and the next day has a hard crash, stuck in bed, exhausted, but they don't like care? Even though reader feels bad.

Something ish along those lines, but take your full creative freedom here! (Can you tell it's 1000% self indulgent as I lay in bed, perhaps experiencing said crash rn? Lmao)

Anyways, I hope you're having a lovely day.!! And thanks for at least reading the request, even if you don't decide to do it 😊

i hope i did this request justice!! i wasn’t too clear on if you wanted them not to care that you’re crashing as in ignoring or as in loving u anyway so i did a little of both! hope ur feelin a little better <3

Get My Mind Right

masterlist | send a fic/blurb request

best friend turned lover!eddie, he just wants to take good care of u!!!! Ft. best friend!steve <3 gnc reader, no physical description, angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety, overstimulation, mentions of depression and anxiety, a couple uses of y/n.

2k words

—

Steve’s house buzzes with the collective noise of strangers. Loud music thrums through the walls, making your ears ring. Everyone’s drunk, or high, or both. Except for you. The world feels far away, you’re tired, and you’re ready to leave despite the fact that you’ve only been here for two hours. 

“Hey. You okay?” Eddie waves a cautious hand in front of your blank stare, and the rings reflect the low lights, making you squint. 

“Hm? Oh. Yeah. Jus’ tired.”

“You need me to give you a ride?” You look up at him then, registering the worry in his voice. You shake your head, and can feel the headache already forming. “Nah, I can drive.” 

“Okay, if you’re sure. Will you call me when you’re home?”

You nod, giving him a meek smile before leaving the room. You find Steve and Robin playing flip cup out on the deck, and deliver the same goodbye. 

“Wait, hold on!” Steve calls, pausing his turn to approach you. “You able to get home?”

“Yeah. Promise, I only had one drink. Just don’t think I can hang tonight.” Your heart feels like it’s about to burst with how fast it’s beating, and every voice sounding like silverware scraping across china plates. 

“Okay. Call me in the morning.” He wraps you in a bear hug, and you relish in the comfort before he lets you go, too soon. 

—

It’s a hard crash. You get home, ignoring your family as they greet you from the couch. 

“You’re home early!” Your mom calls. 

“Want some ice cream, kiddo?”

“Huh? No, just gonna go to bed.”

“Okay, sweetie. Love you!”

“You too.” It’s barely audible, but you don’t care enough to repeat yourself before climbing the stairs to your bedroom. Once alone, you let the tears fall. You hate when this happens, and lately it’s been far too frequent. You swear every time, you’ll be able to handle the crowds, the socializing, the noises. And every time, it’s a lie. You end up leaving every get together early, and all of your friends have stopped asking you to stay. 

You decide not to call Eddie. Instead, you strip yourself from your cutoffs and tank top and turn your shower faucet on. Even in the summer, you run the water scalding hot, willing the warmth to wrap around your brain like a neutralizing fog. You’re still crying by the time you’ve scrubbed yourself clean, unable to wash away the weight in your chest. 

You stare at your phone as you get into your pajamas, and crawl into bed without dialing. Even as you drift off to sleep, the phone doesn’t ring with a concerned friend on the other line. 

—

It’s noon when you finally wake up. There are no messages from Eddie, but Steve has left about one thousand since this morning. 

“Hey, Steve.” You greet him when he picks up on the first ring.

“Hey, you. You alright?”

“Yeah, just overslept. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“No, not at all! I’ll be over later with a movie, alright? We’ll just chill, no parties. Thanks for tryin’ last night, though. It was great to see you outside.”

“Yeah,” You sigh into the receiver, “I’ll talk to you later, okay? Love you, Stevie.”

“I love you, too.” You feel the sob in the back of your throat, but swallow it down and dig through your bed for the TV remote, hanging up the phone.

“Honey?” Your mother’s soft voice floats through the door the moment you turn the television on. “You awake?”

You groan, throwing the blanket over your head. You're in no shape to socialize with her, but you don’t have the heart to tell her that either. 

“You have a visitor.” She coaxes, and it catches your attention. You peek out from under your comforter, and your mother meets your eyes and smiles. She opens your door further, revealing a disheveled and exhausted looking Eddie. 

“Christ,” He seemingly sighs in relief. “Thought you were dead in a ditch or something.”

“I’m making lunch soon. Try to come eat, both of you.” She even has the trust in Eddie to close the door all the way.

You hear her footsteps retreat, and turn to your friend. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He’s staring at you far too intensely, not letting you avoid returning eye contact. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m dandy.”

“C’mon. What’s goin’ on? You’ve been acting weird for like, weeks now. And you didn’t call. I’m worried about you.” 

You hadn’t realized just how badly you’d needed him to care about you. 

You shrug, defeated. “Just can’t enjoy parties like that. I know you guys like them a lot, but it’s never been my scene. It’s gotten to be way too much to deal with. Especially now that it’s grad season.” You’re tearing up again, and you huff in frustration. “I want to hang out with you guys.  It pains me every time I have to leave early. But no one really cares to check on me, either, and it always gets too unbearable before I can even vocalize it.” The words tumble out between your wracked sobs. “It’s panic attack after panic attack, and it’s destroying my fucking life.” You angrily wipe the tears from your cheeks and force yourself to look up at Eddie. 

You immediately regret that. The boy in front of you is far too soft looking to be the best friend you know. Usually, your relationship with him consists of playful banter, cheesy flirting, and raving about your favorite bands. It’s rare for you to be vulnerable, mostly because you wouldn’t be able to cope with scaring him away. 

His eyes are wide and laser focused on you, following every slight movement from the shift of your posture to the way you’re playing with your bracelet. 

“You know I’d hang out with you in complete silence if that’s what it took.” He says it plainly, vastly opposite of how you’re used to Eddie speaking; with vibrato and expression. 

You drop your eyes to your lap. “That’s no fun.”

“Please look at me.” He’s begging. You oblige. “I could give a fuck less about a goddamn high school party. I go because I know you’re there. I usually leave not ten minutes after you.”

“Why not leave with me then?” It’s not meant to be a difficult question, but Eddie averts his gaze to his hands.

He sighs, shaking his unruly hair around. “I don’t know. Because I’m a coward?”

It confuses you. “What is there to be scared of? You’re one of my closest friends, Ed. I don’t think leaving a party with me would mean what you’re implying.” The words sting, and you can’t figure out if it’s because you want it to imply something, or because you’re sure Eddie doesn’t. 

“Is it me?” The question falls out of your mouth before you think better of it. 

“What? Sweetheart, no. Well, yeah, actually.” You freeze. “But not in the way you must think. Oh god, y/n, you have no idea. It breaks my heart every time you tell me you’re leaving, ‘cause I know it means I won’t see you for the rest of the night. I figure, every time you say no to a ride it means you wanna be alone.”

That’s more than fair, you think. “I didn’t wanna put you out.”

“It’s never an inconvenience when it’s you.” You scoot closer to him, his body heat radiating, prompting you to discard your blanket from your shoulders. He continues, “I’m afraid of the things I’d say. Things I wouldn’t ever be able to take back. I stay sober enough at those parties just in case you might say yes to my offer. Usually I feel better when you call, let me know you’re alright. Figured this time it must be worse.”

“I’m sorry I worried you, Eds. I should’ve called. But it got you into my bed, so who’s to say this wasn’t my plan all along?” You mean it jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, but Eddie frowns, brow furrowed.

“Don’t say shit like that.”

“Like what?” Usually Eddie’s the one to dish out the flirty jokes, but you don’t see why you can’t.

“You don’t mean that.”

“And you do, every time you tell me I’m making you quote-unquote ‘harder than Ms. O’Donnell’s final exam.’?”

“Yes.” There is no hint of him joking, his mouth a straight line, unflinching as he looks at you. “What, you think I’m kidding?”

You don’t actually know what you’d been thinking. Maybe that’s how he talks to all his friends? Maybe he was trying to boost your confidence? “I don’t know, maybe?”

“Huh. Well, say for argument's sake that I’d been dead serious the whole time. Hypothetically, how would you respond to that?” He looks at you with wide, scared eyes, and you can’t help but smile at him.

“Hypothetically?” He nods. “I’d probably tell you I’ve been waiting to hear that for as long as I can remember.”

“What the fuck.” It’s more of a statement than a question. “You’re being serious, right? This isn’t some elaborate, cruel prank on me?”

“No, I thought we established that.”

“Sorry, just need to make double sure. Could you pinch me? Still not completely convinced.”

You don’t pinch him, instead flicking your eyes quickly to his lips and back. At first, you don’t think he gets the hint, but when you’re about to play it off, he moves.

Eddie slides his arm around your waist, making quick work of dragging you closer to him, and before you can catch your breath his lips are on yours. They’re soft, and he tastes faintly of cigarettes, and it overwhelms your senses. He sucks your bottom lip between your teeth, a harmless experiment that causes you to part your lips for him to deepen the kiss. He takes the hint, sliding his tongue into your mouth. You tangle your own with it, relishing in the smallest whimper that leaves Eddie’s throat when you do. You gain confidence, sliding your hands around his neck and into his hair, twisting your fingers into the curls at the root, pulling him impossibly closer to you. It’s then that he stops, letting you up for air as he pants underneath you.

“Christ.” He huffs, his face pink and bangs disheveled. “Gonna have to gimme a sec.”

“Yeah, ‘course. Sorry.” You’re out of breath, too, and can only imagine how you must look. 

“You tellin’ me I could’ve done that months ago?”

You can’t help smiling at him. “Try years.”

“Shit. I’m a moron.”

“But you’re my moron.” He beams when you say it. “No more parties for awhile, though.”

“I can live with that if it means I get to kiss you again.”

“You can do way more than just kiss me, Munson.”

“Fucking hell.”

“Y/n! Eddie! I made lunch!” Your mother calls from downstairs, snapping you out of the quiet bubble you’ve created with Eddie.

“Be right there!” You look back to him. “Care to pick this up later?”

“I’d love nothing more.”

–

Steve is in your kitchen with a copy of your favorite movie and a bag of microwave popcorn. “Oh, shit. Hey, Ed. Didn’t know you’d be joining us.”

“To tell you the truth, Harrington, me either.” He snickers, and you blush at the implications.

“Did I miss something?” Steve looks from you to Eddie.

You’re giggling now, too. “I’ll tell you all about it later.”

Eddie slings his arm around you, deepening the confusion on Steve’s pretty face. “Okay…”