#come on forever you can i know it
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I don't think I will ever get over this how am I supposed to be normal when Forever is trying so hard to be with Phil, not because he sees him as Brunim#2 but because he doesn't want to be alone anymore??
He doesn't want to be alone and Phil is so nice to him, he's always been kind and caring and Forever can't let that go. He can't be without Phil because then he'd be alone here on this hellish island.
How am I meant to be normal when Forever has fallen for Phil, but Phil can't see it? Phil will never believe Forever truly loves him but he does.
They love eachother but they can't see eye to eye and it's tearing them apart, Phil's not only rejecting Forever's romantic gestures but denying him the company he needs so badly.
#qsmp#qsmp philza#qsmp forever#philever#forphil#forever x philza#philza#forever player#i just want them to be happy and theyre not and sidushsj#I need forever to prove himself like right now#please do something that will show phil you love more than his resemblance to brunim#i am begging you#come on forever you can i know it
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Wearing your boyfriend's jacket
#for the anon asking who would wear it#any one of my characters WOULD wear it#its just a matter of how...#you dont understand my passion for fashion and what this means ok#it means an article of clothing is not about the clothing at all#its about how it fits and what it goes with and how you choose to wear it#a shirt is not just a shirt its a part of a whole...#I'm so passionate about this... it doesnt really show in my comics but thats mostly cause. there is only so much time I can devote to thing#anyways#adam is able to make anything look good#and steve is able to make anything seem like hes owned it for 10 years#they can both wear anything but in extremely different ways...#anyways this was a nice little break#its been hard HAHAHAHHA not gonna lie having an extremely rough time#I so so so do not want to return working for webtoon#I need you to know I am ONLY doing this for my readers#because I could use more time. I could use forever away from webtoon#but. I want to see the comic through! and so I will.#I'm so tired of them...#and also still frustrated by people being like 'is this ever coming back' and all that#but its fine. its coming back I'm working on it...#and its good.. its gonna be so good......#time and time again#ttawebcomic#adam and steve#sketch#I JUST REALIZED I SAID ANON...#I MEANT ASK#my brain just calls all asks anon
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She did not understand the assignment
#good omens#ineffable husbands#good omens fanart#aziracrow#fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#ibispaint art#demos art#based on that one draw ur favs as meme that was around a while ago#bc you know i love hopping onto trends way too fucking late#shes wearing her twice divorced fit#her widow that might have killed the husband fit#her im single and available fit#yknow how it is#also needed an excuse to draw longer hair crowley#also wanted an excuse to she/her crowley because i can do what i want#'why is she wearing heels to bed' because you've gotta serve always and forever she's been serving for 6000 years she aint gonna stop now#convinced theyd get matching pajamas at one point#tired of having to color adjust my ipad art bc it comes out muted on laptop screens RAAAHHHHH
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Look at this art I got from @bressynonym !!!!!! This was a skeb c0mm and I was NOT DISAPPOINTED!! RARHHGRH IT’S SO CUTE!!
They’re open for other types of c0mm too! Do check it out if ya can, reblog if not :D
#this is like a surprise me doodle and BOI AM I SURPRISED AND DELIGHTED!!!#please support them if you can! :D#LOOK AT MINI RAVEN…MY HART!!!!!! POMPOMPURIN COUCHVB#THE HANDS?!!!! ohhhh bressy u know me too well COMING FOR MY THROAT KNOWING I GO FERAL OVER THEM!!!!#i will stare at this forever (it is now my widget <3)#boost#art commission#[oc] Raven#PriceRaven#scheduled
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I think Aventio and Screwtio shippers shouldn't fight. After all, Ratio has two hands!
That's right. Two hands.
One for his chalk.
One for his codex.
Both of which he's holding in an embarrassed death grip as they chat away with each other about him.
#I'm on to something here#screwtio#aventio#hsr aventurine#veritas ratio#dr ratio#screwllum#hsr#honkai star rail#now as a disclaimer I'm not personally a huge fan of aventio#exclusively because i think they are so SO much funnier as gay friends#but something about combining the two clicks really well to me#Aventurine and Screwllum would be pretty fantastic metamours i think#they'd have a lot of fun playing off each other#but also Screwllum being there to dispute Aventurine's doubts over whether or not Ratio cares as a verified outside perspective#listing off shit like upticks in heartrate pupil dialation etc on top of being like#he talks about you fondly he knows your favorite things i can personally attest that you are very evidently important to him#stuff Aventurine can't easily write off when coming from not only an outside perspective but also a literal Genius#and on the flip side Aventurine would finally have someone other than Ratio and the Trailblazer he can talk to with relative ease#someone who has also been through a frankly incredibly traumatizing historical event#someone who is also under constant pressure to perform a certain way#someone who has gained wealth and power at the cost of carrying responsibilities on his shoulders and never being truly free#appearing free to anyone who glances but neither of them really are#Screwllum seemingly able to freely pursue whatever research he wants but ultimately permanently shackled with his titles#and public pressure to be the perfect poised representative for all of inorganic kind#forever treading the line of being both a desirable ally and a sufficient threat that you wouldn't want to cross him#and similarly Aventurine stuck in his cycle that he feels only death can free him from of gambling with his life on the line#because the IPC basically owns him#because let's be honest Jade's offer was just a lifetime labor contract he couldn't refuse#granted the illusion of freedom through gaining money and power but never truly free
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"Why am I still doing this?"
"Don't you get it?"
"This is all just a show... and we're playing parts~"
#junie art post#utmv#ink sans#swap sans#dream sans#yea that lyric is from the undertale musical... it was fitting#anyways#you know how back then star sanses were 'fight evil (bad sanses) do good!!' i mean... it still is. but back then it was more...innocent?#*looks at the steven universe star sanses cover i saved on my phone*#ultimately tho...how much do u think ink plays along with that as nothing more than a script given to him#because really. ink is more of a stagehand than a stage performer#and for ink that job comes with knowledge that makes it hard to perform#like you guys ever think more about how ink struggles to view the people around him as “real” (like him) and not characters?#i think about it a lot.#especially. in his 'star sanses' era#to me theres always this nonchalance(?) he treats other sanses 'backstory' and maybe the character themself if he interacts with them#because he cant really treat them as 'real' people#you get what i mean???#THAT DOESNT MEAN HE STAYS LIKE THIS FOREVER. HE CAN GET DEVELOPMENT. LOOK AT ZEPHYRTOP RP. PRIME EXAMPLE.#you see i imagine star sanses as like this cute tv show like madoka magica. starts off cute. ends with you in a crisis#dream is easily the protag in my eyes. comes out with no clue how long its been and explores with fresh eyes. meets swap. meets ink#then they fight evil! cool multiverse exploration! undertale shenanigans!!!!#dream and swap go thru their character arcs#and ink stays suspiciously stagnant#until we get THIS reveal and theres that implication that hes been also behind the scenes nudging things along to 'improve the story'#'anything for the entertainment of the Creators!'#ISNT THAT MESSED UP?? ISNT THAT G R E A T#utmv fanart#ink!tale#underswap
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wip posting just to get something out there, and it's def a mixed bag!! the only thing more inconsistent than my posting schedule is my art style RIP
#wip#yapping below#1. sinnohtrio group pic where nothing bad has happened yet... dedicated sinnoh post coming soon#2. personalizing dawn and lyra's togekisses with different coloring and markings based on region. there's lyra's omelette :]#3. timeskip red and leaf except it's just pikachu#4. top left is all the assets i made for my cs final project! a little cherrim themed browser game#then there's sprites for my champion dawn; cool concept methinks but it's definitely a work in progress. peep the giratina hairclips#some vaugely lugia/ho-oh inspired protag ideas for a hgss sequel#anddd a bunch of background doodles. goldenrod flower shop and a very saturated mt. silver#in timeskip there shall be a proper town at mt. silver's base to officially bridge kanto and johto (and make lyra's work commute easier)#5-7 is me spitballing ideas abt pokemon biology#dratini & dragonair are forever sea snakes to me!!! though i do enjoy the amphibian interpretations#also i didn't know dragonite island was already a thing from pokeani... rip wyverse dragon master lore#i think crobat looks goofy no matter how you stylize it. silver and his big bumbling bat that insists on grooming its trainer. so unserious#there's a togekiss page too but then i remembered egg groups are a thing so i'm revising parts of it#i spent so long trying to come up with a reasonable wing-to-body ratio for togekiss and crobat. literally useless when dragonite can#apparently fly around the globe in 16 hours. are you Kidding me. dragons weren't even merging with jet planes until gen 3.#OK that is all. sorry for the lack of uploads wah#i'm like a ferret hoarding all my doodles until the quantity > quality lever switches in my brain to give the 👍 to post#i did made a spam blog but who knows if i'll actually post on there lol! probably for non-pkmn related stuff
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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"Don't say that to me. Not you, of all people." -"I don't want to. But it's the truth." (5.18 "Point of No Return")
#do Not argue w/ me abt this relationship bc i will humiliate you with Facts And Logic#im telling you guys i could keep this post series going forever#spn#visual meta#4.04#4.21#5.18#6.07#7.07#9.22#10.22#1) bits I didn't have room for: ''it makes perfect sense if you stop thinking about yourself for one damn minute" (10.23)#''someone's got to be the adult around here'' (15.17)#''you know i have to stop you.'' // ''you can try. but you're not all hopped up on demon blood this time.'' (5.18)#2) you guys should rewatch the full scenes these quotes are excerpted from bc they are truly even worse w/ full context#3) if i tried to remember every time dean said something like ''you don't have to like it but that's how it's gonna be'' to sam i would#explode. ''sorry sam but you don't get a choice'' (s15) comes to mind. very satisfying scene.#tag vomit
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What is it with fantasy high and girls dying before their lives ever began. How we can never really know who they are, or who they could’ve been. Brennan Lee Mulligan I will find you
#ramblings#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#lucy frostblade#yea yea this is obviously about Lucy. but also..#um#penelope everpetal#(collective booing from the crowd)#(I am dragged off the stage)#jokes aside tho#they both have that quality of haunting a narrative (Penelope specifically in the seven and Lucy in fhjy)#they’re gone. their stories are over. and yet#they have a hold over the ones they left behind#we will never truly know Lucy past anecdotes and old stories#penelope was an array of false faces and honestly? we’ll never know her either. all we’ve got is that old picture of her and Sam#and obviously Lucy was kinder. she definitely didn’t deserve what happened to her#while you could argue Penelope got what was coming for her#but the fact remains#Lucy Frostblade and Penelope Everpetal we’re both teenage girls who we can only catch glimpses of. forever#in some ways#they’re the same. dead girls who never fully leave. their ghosts still visible in the corner of your eyes#anyway rant over I’m just obsessed with d20 girls and I can draw parallels from anywhere#I might make a more… comprehensive post about this one day who knows
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so i've been thinking about this premise for so long but it wasn't working for obikin (which of course i took as a challenge) and i think i finally got it where i want it so
au where 35 yo obi-wan is a music sensation across the world but he's recently divorced and going on tour again after releasing a very cutting, personal, and well-received album
and 19 yo anakin joins his tour with his very small band of two other people (ahsoka, padmé) to be his opening act - they have a small but loyal following, a pretty big social media presence, and there are even people who ship anakin and padmé which you know means these are die-hard fans
anakin has definitely looked up to obi-wan and his music for a good portion of his life and he's like. beyond excited that he's going to tour with The Obi-Wan Kenobi - this is big, not just for his music career but also for himself and the little boy he was listening to obi-wan's music for the first time!!
i'm just imagining like....obi-wan and anakin meeting after a few days of rehearsal for opening night, and it's not the most auspicious start because obi-wan's going through like 20 different emotions at any given moment (he's on tour, he's divorced, he's tired, he loves the music, he can't be the person he was in his twenties when he was first on tour but that's a whole different matter, he has all the media training and charismatic instinct to cover up these less than savory emotions with flirtatious empty words) and anakin is just like. sorta starstruck sorta shy sorta eager sorta awkward so:
"i'm uh, i'm a singer it's nice to meet you. hi yeah. hello. i'm on tour. as well. with you. actually." "ah no, are you one of my backing vocal artists? we can't have that - you're much too gorgeous and my ego is much too dependent on the audience focusing on me." "um 😳"
so it's a relationship that begins with a lot of flirting and being flustered and progresses through moments of vulnerability and honest emotion which turns into mutual affection which turns into anakin's celebrity crush becoming very real....meanwhile obi-wan googled anakin and the opening band after the first show/introduction and finds all the stuff about him and padmé being together and that's. that's fine. young love. how sweet. any sort of disappointment obi-wan feels is because he's recently divorced and bitter about it and he's going to have to spend at least half his tour watching the lovebirds snuggling up together.
and even when all the misunderstandings about relationship statuses have been addressed and the pretense has fallen away to leave just attraction, both have to think about their careers - it's all well and good for obi-wan to date someone sixteen years his junior, post divorce, but that's an image he's never wanted to deal with or be associated with. and this is the biggest shot of anakin's career - his best chance to make it in the music industry. in the words of his bandmate, is he really, honestly thinking about risking it for a chance to sleep with The Obi-Wan Kenobi?
but what his bandmate doesn't seem to really understand is that for anakin, obi-wan hasn't been The Obi-Wan Kenobi in a long time. he's just been obi-wan. and that makes a world of difference.
#kit's silly lil aus#obikin#my social media algorithm pulled me into music-tok but make it instagram reels lol#and then i watched the grammys last night#so i was like fine lets come back to this and figure out what's missing#so i know it basically sounds like what if firefighter au obi-wan was a little more jaded and less flirty#coupled with what if band au anakin opened for firefighter au obi-wan#but i'm seeing different nuances for the characters so i feel comfortable making this its own post#like. what if you met the person you were going to love forever at somehow#both the best time in the world for your career#and the worst time in the world for your personal life#etc etc#sorry for the long post i hope you can tell this is all i thought about on a 5k run today lol
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"Suddenly the world was gray and dull and my heart was so heavy I felt like I couldn’t move, let alone make it back to Treasure Town. But because of Echo’s last wish… I was able to keep living.”
--- --- --- --- ---
SORA : (Partner)
Abilities: Justified / Inner Focus
Nature: Gentle / Hardy
Moveset: Aura Sphere / Metal Claw / Poison Jab / Dragon Pulse
#It's my baby girl!! My sweetiepie!! Sora the light of my life my bestest girlie#Her own character sheet to go along with Echo's since I had so much fun making that one and obvs Sora needed to be given as much love too#Sora learned Poison Jab as a riolu back when she was mistrustful towards Grovyle and wanted to thrash him around#nowadays she feels bad about knowing the move when her intentions for learning it were to get an upper hand against him in battle#but she also refuses to unlearn it and keeps it as a reminder that sometimes your own expectations about others are wrong in the end#plus the idea of someone as sweet as Sora knowing a poison-type move just makes me go crazy. did you expect a fairy type move or something?#Cause no. She'll literally stab you to death with literal poison because she can if you upset her or Echo.#And to anyone wondering about the large scar on her tail... yes it is literally a hand-print courtesy of Dusknoir#insert the universally traumatic “YOU TWO ARE COMING WITH ME” classic Dusknoir villain-arc moment#(he then proceeds to grab Sora by the tail and drag her into the dimensional portal but she struggles and he loses patience)#(so he unleashes a point blank will-o-wisp that causes so much pain she is too busy recoiling and screaming to make an escape)#Hey Dusknoir it was kinda f'ed up to permanently scar a kid like that ngl not your best decision I hope it doesn't haunt you forever#Echo still hates him for it and I'm not sure she'll ever let that particular event go even after they reconcile#also I gave Sora the ability Justified because of the implications that her partner is a dark-type and she also has darkrai-related trauma#the idea of her attack stat raising if Echo accidentally hits her with a move??? like Sora is so scared her stats literally go haywire#that's my idea of angst and it keeps me awake at night#sora/lucario#Team Wish my beloved...#pmd ocs#pmd eos#pmd2#explorers of sky#my art#click for better quality tumblr compressed it like garbage D:
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i don't wanna have any adventures unless they're with you. / i am, and have been for some time, just totally, ridiculously, desperately in love with you.
#willow#willowedit#tanthamore#kit x jade#jade claymore#kit tanthalos#**#y'all mind if i. ahem.#every night in my dreams i see you i feel you that is how i know you go on far across the distance and spaces between us you have come to s#how you go on near far wherever you are i believe that the heart does go on once more you open the door and you're here in my heart and my#heart will go on and on love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go til we're gone love was when i loved you one t#rue time i hold to in my life we'll always go on near far wherever you are i believe that the heart does go on (why does the heart go on)#once more you open the door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on YOU'RE HERE THERE'S NOTHING I FEAR AND I KNOW THAT M#Y HEART WILL GO ON WE'LL STAY FOREVER THIS WAY YOU ARE SAFE IN MY HEART AND MY HEART WILL GO ON AND ON#ok full disclosure i wrote these tags yesterday before jons tweets#but im keeping them bc i think its silly
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god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"
#tim fully sober now: what do you mean? i'm right here bear#bear still drunk: i got you for almost a whole year last time. how long before you leave this time?#bear: 2 years? 6 months?#tim sadly: you can have me forever bear#bear laughing: i don't even get you that long in my dreams#bear smiles reaching out to poke tim's face: don't worry tim! anytime you want to come back‚ i'll be right here.#god tim who's constantly leaving and bear who knows but cant help letting him comeback into his life again and again#you cannot tell me that bear went to that first date in urban legends expecting tim to stay#he went to that date expecting to get his heart broken again but he loves this boy so he goes anyway#tim who always leaves and bear who waits patiently everytime#sorry im like sobbing in the library#bear is so 'right where you left me' coded#bear who loves tim so much he'll let tim break his heart again and again#head in hands head in hands#dc#tim drake#bernard dowd#timbern#timber
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ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.
another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!
farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.
but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.
but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.
but the important thing is this.
farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.
farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.
the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.
as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.
but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.
and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.
to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).
to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.
and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?
but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.
the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.
so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.
#saltburn#farleigh start#i think someone mentioned how the race commentary was fleeting in that scene abt his mom but i disagree#it runs thru the whole movie#because oliver is white and because they're pitted against each other#im not saying its the best commentary ever and also like the movie is not about it at all#but it's there and it's pretty prominent#also on a completely different note can we talk about how oliver correctly assumed everyone at saltburn desires him carnally#dude pulled all the bitches by being strange and off-putting. i mean i completely get it. completely get it. i'd fold so fast you've no ide#also while i was writing i realized that yes indeed both farleigh and oliver perform for felix and its so fascinating#and it works for oliver because of course it does because hes white#anyway! again! let me know if this sucks#in like any way at all#i needed a masterpost of all and every thought i have about farleigh#i think this pretty much covers it so i'll let it go now#HES SO. like do you UNDERSTAND#the DEFINITION of doomed by the narrative but i LOVE that he survives#as he SHOULD#emerald is so right. he does come back and quickstart just torture each other in that house forever. besties for life#god im gonna shut up now this is so horrendously long#mine#saltburn journaling
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gang i really just want to get to the part where the boys are hopelessly in love with reader to the point its genuinely pathetic
#sophie speaks#series:www#damian might write u poetry but nobody can beat dicks internal monologue#he is so geniunely in love with you#like yes the yans there but hes like. so self sacrificing hed swallow it all down just so you can be happy#he wants you to be happy more than anything#i kinda want to write a bit where reader can hear their thoughts for some reason or another and be like#super flustered by how much of dicks thought process is 'i love you. id die for you. you are the most beautiful thing on this earth.#i am so lucky i get to spend even the briefest moment of my life with you. i hope it will be forever but i know even this is more than i-#deserve.' and readers just gaping#and this shit is just on loop in his head man#is the worship kink coming out again it might be#i just think devotion in love is the sexiest thing ever okay???
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