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ivystoryweaver · 2 years ago

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Jake you’re in trouble! Everyone’s in trouble

Jakes such an infant in love, Steven I have no words bb. Marc is trying to CEO this clown factory holy 💩

Cmon boys pull it together. And stay alive? Apparently….👀

This drama got me like ☝️

Chapter 13: Inner Demons

prof!Steven Grant-Jake Lockley-Marc Spector X f!Reader

Edited by: @whatthefishh - Special thank you to @moonknightly for assisting with some technicalities in this chapter.

Mood Boards - Book Cover - Masterlist

Chapter Summary

Steven learns some devastating news. You feel more confused than ever.

Tags/Summary (these are for the ENTIRE fic):

college AU, no powers/not in MCU/no Khonshu (as a deity), talk of mental illness, Marc has DID, forbidden relationship, age gap, reader is 21y/o, Boys are 38y/o, reader attends college in America but isn't necessarily American, smut, sex, masturbation, p in v, creampies galore, reader is on birth control, dubious consent due to identity issues, ANGST, romance, fluff and smut, oral sex, falling in love, reader is not race coded, minor mentions of alcohol addiction and depression.

Word Count: 2.9k

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When Steven woke up on the Monday following his birthday, he didn’t think that his entire world would blow up the way it did, more than it already had before that day. He thought that he’d already experienced the worst day of his life on the day a rift was torn between the two of you. He was wrong.

He still avoided Moonbean Coffee like the building alone would put him in a straight jacket. He still had to walk by it on the way to his classroom though. Every time he passed by it there was an unrivaled pain in his gut that he couldn’t easily shake. He looked at his reflection in the window. The way the panes sat gave Steven the perfect view at both Marc and Jake. He scowled at them and continued his walk.

He hated seeing you. He hated sitting at his desk, watching you walk through the door in your pretty clothes and perfect face. He hated that he couldn’t look forward to seeing you in his office later just so he could kiss you, and be close to you. He still dreamt about you all the time. He especially loved the dream he had on the night of his birthday, where he had you outside on the hood of his…well he could tell it wasn’t his…but a car. Your eyes were so full of love when you looked at him in his dreams. Sometimes he wished he could live in there.

Now your eyes were staring at your laptop screen. He could tell that you were trying so hard to keep them there, trying so hard not to meet his gaze. You finally did look at him though, when he reminded everyone of the next big assignment due…midterms. You’d forgotten, he could see it plain as day on your face. It was like you were begging him silently to take it back. Given everything he’d put you through, it was no wonder you weren’t prepared. He failed you as a man, and as a professor.

You remembered the substitute professor mentioning the midterm assignment once…was it twice? You sighed in a frustrated huff. The sub could’ve mentioned it a hundred times and you would’ve forgotten. Your mind wasn’t on school in the slightest. You’d been so wrapped up in Steven, the late night rendezvous, and his return to school, that you’d completely let the essay due on the renaissance slip your mind.

It was straight to the library for you once class was over. No way in hell were you going to be able to focus in your dorm room, nor were you going to have the resources you would need in order to get your research done. You didn’t even have a topic picked out yet. You couldn’t fail this class, not after you’d told your parents that you would get tutoring and do well in history this year.

You sat down in the back corner of the library, as you often did, pulling out your laptop before resting your face in your hands. You felt drained; emotionally, mentally, even intellectually. Spring break was right around the corner, but it couldn’t come soon enough. You needed the mental reset to get yourself back on track. You needed to move on from him somehow. You knew that much was true, you’d known it for a while.

It helped that he’d been more distant over the last few weeks. You felt like you could break things off easier now, and it might not hurt as much as the initial blow when he broke it off in his office. That didn’t mean that it was going to be easy…it just meant that you were finally ready to move on. At least, that’s how you felt at that moment.

You let out a heavy sigh. This was it. You were too smart for all of this nonsense. You and your parents were putting too much into your schooling for you to let it all fall apart over…whatever was still going on between you and Steven. It was time for you to actually move on. It was time for you to let go, despite still feeling some love for him, and despite the fact that he had taken so much from you and hurt you the way he did.

It was that simple. You would just let things go back to normal. The next time he texted you to meet outside, you would ignore it. You were happy with your decision, but when you lowered your hands from your face, he was standing there, looking nervous with his hands clenched into balls in front of him. You wondered if he knew that he did things like that, and you wondered if he knew how effortlessly cute it was. You just wanted to kiss that wrinkled spot between his upturned brow. So much for letting him go.

“Hey…hi erm…” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

He was feeling a little bit of regret wash over him after approaching you. He shouldn’t have done that. Both Jake and Marc were practically screaming at him to stop, both for different reasons, but telling him to stay away from you all the same. He was shoving them back again, his desire to comfort you and help you outweighting their shouting in his mind. Steven was a little surprised by your expression though. You didn’t look angry, or even sad as he thought you might. You looked…confused.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked in a harsh whisper, trying to make sure that no one in the library would hear you speaking to him.

He looked surprised at your response, furrowing his brow and stuffing one of his hands in his pocket. His jaw dropped, and he started stammering to find the words to say. He looked around, making sure no one was there before he continued.

“I-I…well…I could see that you were a-a little taken aback when I reminded everyone of the paper so I thought…if we are in a public setting I wouldn’t mind still tutoring you if you really need–”

“Steven, what the fuck are you talking about?” You looked around the library, panicked.

You thought back to the texts he’d sent you just over a week ago:

Steven: Hey love, I’m coming back to school tomorrow. I think it’s time. Make sure not to speak to me or even come near me, alright?

Steven: Can’t even have you asking for help with class. Just pretend you don’t know me at all if you want this to continue.

“You’re still my student, I still have a responsibility to help you. If we’re in a public place it will force us to keep our hands to ourselves. If you even still like me that way. I’m not saying you do, I’m not sayin’ that. Probably should’ve tutored you in public in first place now that I’m thinkin’–”

“You told me to pretend I didn’t know you, first of all and second, why would you think I don’t like you when…” you looked around and lowered your voice further, “when we were just with each other last night?”

He sniffed out a laugh, narrowing his eyes in confusion. You saw his brow furrow as if he had no idea what you were talking about. He shook his head like he was trying to understand what you were saying, as though you were speaking a language foreign to him. Then you saw the complete shift in his expression, as though a huge realization hit him. He stepped back, covering his mouth in his hand.

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the–

“I’ve gotta go,” he said suddenly, leaving the library quickly, leaving you more confused than you’d ever felt.

“Steven…what the hell was she talking about…‘with each other last night’?” Marc asked, voice full of anger.

Steven didn’t answer. He was shaking, trying hard to keep from falling over on his wobbling legs. He’d never felt like this before, such anger, dread, and panic rushing through his veins like a doctor had given him an emotional cocktail in a syringe. Adrenaline forced his hands to tremble, he noticed it when he opened the door to the outside.

Nothing good could come from him screaming at the other two while he stormed out of the building. He didn’t want to draw too much attention to himself, despite the panic building inside his chest. How he made it to his flat in one piece was beyond his understanding. He was still shaking uncontrollably when he tried to get the key in the door handle. He dropped them loudly in the hall. He thought he heard one of his kind neighbors ask if he was alright as they exited their own flat, but his hearing was like white noise.

The moment he stepped inside, he slammed the door behind himself and he dropped to the floor. He buried his face in his hands, and let the pain surge through him. This couldn’t be. This couldn’t be true. How could this happen? Steven had never hated himself, and the men inside his head so much. He yelled out, slapping his hand on the floor.

“Steven! Have you been seeing her behind our BACK?!” Marc yelled, forcing his way to the front in place of Steven. He stood up, walking over to the three-way mirror to face his alters. “Answer me!”

Steven looked at Marc with the utmost disdain Marc had ever seen his alter muster.

“Wasn’t me…”

A tear trickled down Steven’s cheek. Marc could feel the rage inside of him. This was unusual for Steven, even in his angriest moments. Steven thought back to last night. The ‘dreams’ he and Marc had been having; you bent over various parts of a car they didn’t recognize; the way you looked at them in their dreams, like something was off about the way they were talking to you, or the way they were acting.

“Jake.” Both Marc and Steven said, looking at Jake’s panel in the reflection.

Marc grabbed onto the mirror. It trembled under his grip. Jake didn’t let much bother him, or shake his usual calm demeanor, but the other two were glaring at him. It wasn’t uncommon for Marc to hold a look of aggravation, but Steven…Steven looking at him that way made him feel an insurmountable wave of guilt like never before.

“Are you guys going to let me explain or are you going to cut me off and yell at me the second I start talkin–”

“How dare you.” Steven said and Jake threw his arms up in frustration at the interruption. “You knew I was suffering, going through this…this…break up, and you kept seeing her? Behind my back?”

“Escucha hermano! Por favor,” Jake said, sensing that Steven was getting even more upset by the second, and rightfully so.

Steven was fronting again, and the tears started flowing freely. He felt distraught with the pain of betrayal reverberating through his bones. He had to think, to make sure he was understanding correctly what was happening. He stepped away from the mirror with his face buried in his hands.

You had been sleeping with Jake for who knows how long, while Steven took a back seat and Marc thought he had everything under control. The lying snake. Jake’s moral compass was always questionable, but this was low, even for him. At least he’d been considerate of the system in the past. Even his immorality had good intentions behind them. This was completely and utterly selfish.

“Does she know?” Steven dropped his hands and looked at his reflection…at Jake, “does she know that she was sleeping with someone else?!”

The silence was all the answer Steven needed. You’d been letting Jake have his way with you without realizing it was him this entire time. He was out of words to say. It was like his face was frozen, mouth slackjaw and eyes glistening with the realization of what this meant. You thought that Steven and you were still together, and Jake had been tricking you into sleeping with him. This was disgusting. This was bad…this was very bad.

“Jake, you of all people should understand what kind of trouble we could be in!” Marc yelled, “I mean come on! The poor girl already dealt with the heartbreak of losing Steven once, and now you’re going to–”

“We have to tell her, Marc.” Steven said, looking into his panel. “After what he put her through? She deserves the truth.”

“No, no we can’t tell her the truth,” Jake chimed in, “she will leave us for good.”

“Good!” Marc yelled, “that would be the best thing that could happen right now. I’m with Steven on this one.” Marc grumbled under his breath. “Poor girl, you’re sick Jake. The three of us are supposed to be keeping a low profile, and you might just manage to get us arrested, or at best put in an asylum.”

“Thank you Mar–”

“Why do you got such a stick up your ass over this huh? Nobody is worried about a small-time professor at a random college in the US. Khonshu and his men won’t find us, even if she and Steven got caught. You coulda just let them stay together! If you tell her the truth now we just might get caught, ever think of tha pendejo?”

“That’s not even the point anymore, you fucked her in the back seat of your fucking car and she deserves to know that!” Steven’s voice cracked while he yelled, swearing more than Marc had ever heard in all the years he’d had Steven around. “There’s no way in hell she’s staying with us after this, and I wouldn’t blame her! She shouldn’t stay with us! Congratulations to the both of you for, once again, managing to ruin my life!” Steven sighed, “I ruined her life. Never should’ve dragged her into this. We need to come clean, it’s the right thing to do.”

Steven charged over and grabbed his coat from the coat rack, but Jake stopped him, taking over the body.

“Not a chance hermano, I’m not letting you ruin this for us,” he stepped away from the coat rack, dropping Steven’s jacket on the floor.

Jake didn’t want to keep deceiving you, of course not. He wouldn’t consider himself a bad person, or someone that took pleasure in causing you emotional pain, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the way you looked at him. Your eyes always lit up a little when your gaze met his. It was like nothing else mattered, and he’d never felt that with anyone before. The thought of losing that feeling - of losing you - gave him a sense of desperation unlike any he’d ever felt. He considered that he might rather die than experience the agony of not having you in their life.

“So…what? Are you just going to keep doing this to her? What the hell is wrong with you?!” Steven protested.

Marc took over again, and he went to the couch and sat down, taking a deep breath. He buried his face in his hands, shaking his head and sighing deeply. This was such a fucking mess. They were always making such a fucking mess of everything. He and Jake had made Steven’s life hell, and in Marc’s attempt to make his life better, both Steven and Jake had fallen for someone they weren’t allowed to have. Marc once again felt an overwhelming sense of self loathing.

“Dumb…this is so…” Marc leaned back, staring at the ceiling and taking a moment to embrace the silence, “dumb.”

“We can’t tell her, she’ll hate us. I…I don’t want to let her go.”

There was a pull at Marc’s heartstrings from the one that he least expected to feel it from…Jake Lockley. He expected this from Steven, but never from Jake. Marc’s fist was clenched so hard that his knuckles ached. He ran a hand through his messy curls, courtesy of Steven, and then he let his hands drop to his sides.

“We can’t let her keep meeting with you and thinking it’s me, Jake. S’wrong and you know it. Oughta be ashamed. Disgusting.” Steven spat, seething with anger toward Jake.

Marc reached into Steven’s pants pocket and pulled out his phone. He opened up your contact and pressed the little green phone.

“Steven, gonna need you to–”

“Yeah, on it,” he said, coming to the front and waiting for you to pick up on the other end.

He could feel Jake trying to stop him, but to no avail. Steven knew what had to be done, and they were going to do it. There was no way around it anymore. The three of them were a package deal, that much was evident, and it was time for them to tell you the truth. You picked up on the other line, and Steven’s breath caught in his throat.

“Steven? Why the hell are you calling me?” You must’ve still been in the library, based on your harsh whisper.

“Can you come to my flat, please? We need to talk.”

“What do you mean? I thought you said–”

“Now…”

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#Steven whatever you do #help her pass that class #come on bb #she needs you #or to transfer schools lol #I need a massage now #damn this is good #moon boys fic

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