#colossus 13

[chronostutter]

colossus is a comedy

[misscalming]

Why everyone forgetting that Wade can sew? Like- he made his suit in Deadpool. That suit was a fucking good suit. He 100% makes Logan like- 13 suit variants and Logan probably thinks Wade’s got them off the TVA or Colossus or smth. And Logan’s ripped jeans mysteriously show up in his closet all fixed, and Wade’s gifting him leather gloves for him to wear while on his motorbike, regeneration be damned. And one day he can’t find Mary Puppins dog food and he opens a closet he’s never noticed before and it’s got a sewing machine and rolls of yellow leather in it and he finally connects the dots and wants to cry cause it’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him.

Edit: I need all my seamstresses (neutral) to dig deep within themselves and suspend their imaginations for a moment 🙏

[fluideli123]

I've watched the DP&W movie twice in theaters and three plus times on a pirated site, and I wanted to grant my analysis on Wade and Logan's relationship that not only respects Vanessa--because Vanessa was literally Wade's Soulmate until shit hit the fan and you can pry that fact from my cold dead hands. But also explains how Logan and Wade actually represent a a-spec experience and relationship that I feel like no one has really gotten into. Am I saying they're a-spec? No. But that doesn't mean queer relationships that are fairly normal in a-spec spaces doesn't mean they don't exist outside of them as well.

First of all, the only two reasons I believe Vanessa and Wade broke up was 1) Wade went back in time to save Vanessa and he told her after his usual routine of jokes and lies and 2) Wade finally believed he could be something more, a hero, only to be turned down by the people who are known for their heroism, leaving him lost.

I genuinely believe Vanessa had a hard time taking in that knowledge, but knowing Wade and everything they've been through she would get through that like the badass she is and work through it using her plans A-Z, as she always does. But I think to really stop that woman from continuing to start a family with Wade like she wanted to in Deadpool 2, is if Wade was no longer within the right mindset to do so.

Deadpool 1 introduced Wade as someone who believed he was a bad guy who got paid to fuck up worse guys, he refused the term hero, and the moment he even tried to reach for something selfless. An act that would hopefully spare Vanessa from the pain of cancer, it all got fucked up and he got turned into a monster. Someone he deemed even lesser than he was before. So far gone and completely removed from what he was loved for (his looks and personality, but how could his personality stand alone when he looked so ugly? As ugly as he always felt on the inside?)

So he turned to what he's always known: Tracking people down and making them pay. In his mind this only confirms that he's a monster, he isn't deserving of Vanessa, of anyone. Which is why he finds comfort in Blind Al, a woman who will only have to deal with his personality and not be able to see how ugly he actually is. Symbolism for showing only half of himself and not him in his entirety (not that he can hide it from her, she's too wise, knowledgeable, caring, and knows Wade better than he knows himself at this point.)

Eventually, he finishes his hunt and is still loved despite what had transpired. Vanessa still chose him, still loved him. So maybe despite how ugly he is, he can still be loved. This grounded him, solidified his self worth, have him such stability that he had a thriving relationship with Vanessa that they were SO ready to start a family, aspired to live that dream. Another act of selfishness. Only to, once again, be met by pain. Get his dream taken away, once again resorting to what he knows: revenge.

Wade wants to be a hero? He gets forcefully mutated. Wade wants a family? Vanessa gets killed. Both are immediately solved by death, but that self-loathing and sickening hatred towards himself do nothing to cure that same confirmation he had once thought he got over: That he wasn't a monster, he could be loved, be something else.

So of course Vanessa is who, even in death, looks him in the eyes and tells him he cares, he has always cared. He cares so deeply about the people in his life he meets who unconditionally love him for him as time passes, despite all his flaws.

Wade wants to be a hero? Colossus believes he can be. Wade wants to save the 13-year-old abused kid? Vanessa knows he can. He saves lives by sacrificing himself. He scarified his comfort to show Vanessa the full truth of his ugliness, he sacrificed his life for Russel to give him a better life. Maybe he isn't a complete monster, maybe he can believe again. He can be selfish, he can be reckless. So he goes back and saves more people. Heroes do that. They save the people they love. You don't hold the whole world on your shoulders, no, like Miles learned in ATSV you think of one person of the few people you want to fight against the world to protect. And he did just that.

With Vanessa back and a big family he can finally chase after what he wasn't meant for. Because it's only happened twice, it wouldn't happen again-

Rejection. He can't be a hero because people don't need him. He is the needy one, the one who wants to be needed, needs to be wanted. So, it's the crash. The final straw. He breaks. He breaks so hard because what the fuck is the point to trying if every time he is met with failure? Rejection? Pain? Loss? He becomes so stuck in figuring this all out he neglects his relationship with Vanessa, causing issues. They go separate ways, but still so close, because you don't just lose your best friend like that, even if you're no longer partners. They're always meant to be together one way or another.

So you have this broken man who is searching for purpose, years later still harboring this tiny flicker of hope that he can be greater. He can be great. He can be a hero.

His world is in trouble, he doesn't think twice saving it. He accepts he isn't perfect for this, not like all the big guys back in Avengers headquarters, but he can't let his loved ones die because of someone he's had a vendetta against the last two movies.

He literally fights and fights and fights to find someone to help him, Wade can't save who he loves he has to find someone else you can, anyone else.

Than a broken, desperate man walks into a bar to see another broken man who has since long given up.

The thing about Logan and Wade is that they don't need words. Wade blew himself up in order to die in the second movie, Logan drinks himself away, both knowing they can't die no matter how much they want to. How much they believe they deserve it.

So Wade sees a Wolverine who has potential, who hasn't hurt him (unlike the others, he gets hurt so much, guys) and places his faith in him without hesitation. From that moment on he has never truly doubted Logan's abilities nor his heroism, because he knew his Logan and if his world was anchored by a Logan than all Logan's are built with something he isn't. They're made to be heroes, made to be important. Yeah, they fight, but I strongly believe that's how two broken men say everything words can't possibly describe.

I mean what words could describe the way they go all out on each other, knowing the other can't die, the way Wade looks up at him, not wanting to regrow his entire body because he needs to save his world and understands Logan and has to decide to say something that'll convince him to help. Wade doesn't know if stopping the machine will completely save his world or if a new Logan will patch it up too, it's his own educated wish he passes onto Logan. Because just like Russel, he cares. He understands. He wants to help.

It's that faith, hope, and resistance and face of humor despite it all that causes Logan to stick by that dumb asses side. He lost everything, he is seeing someone like himself before he stumbled home drunk from the bar to find everyone dead. Someone who is capable of doing something he wasn't able to. He wants to help, more and more for Wade and less himself, a silent journey of healing following Wades steps everywhere they stumble into.

Because Logan was just drunk at a bar before being told he was needed to save a world, told he was the worst before being offered help anyone, getting praised over his capabilities, and than told again and again how he is able to be someone he never thought he could be. Much like Wade was and is.

Logan sees it. Wade most likely ignores it, much like anything else. He isn't very open with anyone other than Vanessa as we've learned.

So just- of course Wolverine is the honest one, of course he hits low, he sees himself and Wade and wants to hurt him. Wade wants to hurt him back, but only when he's directly attacked by his words and threats, a way of not taking shit. Logan took shit from the world and than didn't from Wade and his emotional rollercoster right. And I think without whatever happened in that Honda Odyssey things wouldn't have been the same. They needed that fight, that release, that hatred from themselves to burst into the form of someone else who could take it just as much as the other could.

Logan listens to Wade's home at the borderlands. Logan is given kindness and tough love. Logan joins. Logan begins to understand how most linger by Wade's side despite everything. He sees why. He's a force, he doesn't give up, he doesn't quit, not for others. It grants strength, though imperfect and messy.

Logan believes Wade deserves better. So he plans on sacrificing himself only for Wade to once again show how much of a Hero he wants to be and could be. Only for those two idiots to hold hands to madona and come to a mutual understanding and comfort that has Wade making room for Logan in his and Al's apartment.

And there is something so inherently a-spec about not being explicitly sexual with each other, having an understanding that goes beyond direct words and full truths. They they can hurt one another and it feels so good, so wanted and cherished. How they support one another by being fucked up and sloppy. They're wrecks and they help the other heal, do what they're too afraid to do.

What is more a-spec than two people looking at each other with adoration and trust? To be two people who cannot be placed within a single both because their relationship and meaning to one another isn't so neatly cut and within expectations? To love in a way that blood and standing side by side is a comfort? A steadying point in which everything becomes clearer with time?

They make me so fucking sick, they make me so FUCKING SICK.

[icarusredwings]

Things in the X-Men community that the Fandom has dubbed canon:

Charles is an alchoolic like his step father and he hates himself for it.

Wade has tummy issues and is actually smart.

Logan has food problems and eats too fast

Erik makes shit float when he makes out with Charles

Pietro speaks really fast and people see it as rude rather then understanding his point of view.

Colossus is a massive sweetheart who will paint you pictures or bake muffins.

Wanda and Jean would be amazing friends (AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN SISTERS)

Scott wants so desperately to not be a boyscout but it's the role hes been given and he can't seem to break out of charater.

Logan plays Scotty dosn't know on repeat outside Scotts room when hes pissed at him. It gives him anxiety every time.

Ororo knows how to cook large amounts of food and is very loving of children but has a temper. She is the scary auntie that you love when you grow up because of how strict she is.

Jubilee once had to cut gum out of her hair

Rouge sounds like dolly parton but will deny it

Jean is the top.

Gambits messed up grammer is adorable, and his food is to die for.

Erik is emotional over the holidays because often times he's alone, envious of the big family that charles has- without him.

Beast sheds way too much and its very annyoing.

Kitty definitely has a "vintage" "jazasize" outfit, complete with leg warmers.

Morph is very insecure and often has social anxiety to the point they wont speak if theres a lot of people around.

Kurt hands from chandeliers for no reason

If Logan comes to ask bobby to make his beer cold one more time hes going to freeze them on purpose.

Ororo sees Kurt like a younger brother

I dont care that kurts lived in america for 3 or 13 years he will never say Wolverine properly.

Spyke is a bit of trouble, but he's a good kid. A kid who just wants to prove he's worth something.

Yukio likes miku

Negasonic secretly loves everyone around her

The mansion has blown up 17 trillion times.

Everyone has nightmares 24/7 and at least one person is screaming at night.

Logan gets passed around like communal pasta salad

[heckcareoxytwit]

The Quiet Council and the Five variant covers by Phil Noto

Quiet Council variant covers by Phil Noto

Immortal X-Men #1-18 and X-Men Forever #1-4

Magneto (Erik Lensherr) = Immortal X-Men #1, March 2022

Mister Sinister (Nathaniel Essex) = Immortal X-Men #2, May 2022

Destiny (Irene Adler) = Immortal X-Men #3, June 2022

Emma Frost = Immortal X-Men #4, July 2022

Exodus (Bennet Du Paris) = Immortal X-Men #5, August 2022

Sebastian Shaw = Immortal X-Men #6, September 2022

Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner) = Immortal X-Men #7, October 2022

Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) = Immortal X-Men #8, November 2022

Mystique (Raven Darkholme) = Immortal X-Men #9, December 2022

Professor X (Charles Xavier) = Immortal X-Men #10, January 2023

Storm (Ororo Munroe) = Immortal X-Men #11, May 2023

Colossus (Piotr Rasputin) = Immortal X-Men #12, June 2023

Cypher (Doug Ramsey) = Immortal X-Men #13, July 2023

Krakoa = Immortal X-Men #14, August 2023

Selene (Selene Gallio) = Immortal X-Men #15, September 2023

Hope Summers = Immortal X-Men #16, October 2023

Apocalypse (En Sabah Nur) = Immortal X-Men #17, November 2023

Jean Grey = Immortal X-Men #18, December 2023

Proteus (Kevin MacTaggert) = X-Men: Forever #1, March 2024

Elixir (Josh Foley) = X-Men: Forever #2, April 2024

Tempus (Eva Bell) = X-Men: Forever #3, May 2024

Egg/Goldballs (Fabio Medina) = X-Men: Forever #4, May 2024

[otomiyaa]

Nim's Lovely Tickletober 

31 Tickle Drabbles in October 🧡

Hi all! This will be the post where I'll eventually collect my Tickletober fics in a masterlist, starting tomorrow! I'll be using the #lovelytickletober list made by @lovelynim.

The plan is to write tickle drabbles for each day, pairings/fandoms were chosen by yours truly for maximized self-indulgence but hopefully there'll be something that you guys can enjoy with me💕

I'll do something I didn't do last time which is announcing my pairings before publishing the fics👇 This because for most I've got the ideas and outlines pretty much done so I want to make it difficult for myself to change my mind at the last minute!

LINK TO AO3 COLLECTION

Day 1: “Ready?” - Lee!Chigiri x Ler!Kunigami (Blue Lock)

Day 2: Accident - Lee!Chilchuck x Ler!Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Day 3: Cleaning - Switches!Hoshina x Kafka (Kaiju No. 8)

Day 4: Upside down - Lee!Loid x Ler!Yor (SPY x FAMILY)

Day 5: (Un)tie - Lee!Yuri x Ler!Otabek (Yuri On Ice)

Day 6: Order - Lee!Kuroo x Ler!Tsukishima (Haikyuu)

Day 7: Teaching - Lee!Solomon x Ler!Beelzebub (Obey Me)

Day 8: Exposed body part - Lee!Boothill x Ler!Argenti (Honkai Star Rail)

Day 9: Dance - Lee!Adachi x Ler!Kurosawa (Cherry Magic)

Day 10: In secret - Lee!Henry x Ler!Alex (Red, White & Royal Blue)

Day 11: Noise - Switches!Ed x Winry (FMA Brotherhood)

Day 12: Wall - Switches!Clark x Lois (My Adventures with Superman)

Day 13: Alone - Lee!Kaveh x Ler!Alhaitham (Genshin Impact)

Day 14: High - Lee!Hachi x Ler!Nana (Nana)

Day 15: Faking it - Lee!Hisashi x Ler!Mao (Tasogare Outfocus)

Day 16: Doctor - Lee!Sawyer x LerJack (LOST)

Day 17: Underwater - Lee!Xiao x Ler!Aether (Genshin Impact)

Day 18: Clothes - Lee!Deku x Ler!Bakugou (BNHA)

Day 19: Make up - Lee!Gepard x Ler!Sampo (Honkai Star Rail)

Day 20: Posing - Lee!Lyney x Ler!Wriothesley (Genshin Impact)

Day 21: Singing - Lee!Dan Heng x Ler!Caelus (Honkai Star Rail)

Day 22: Cheating - Lee!Miyamura x Ler!Hori (Horimiya)

Day 23: Money - Lee!Jinshi x Ler!Maomao (The Apothecary Diaries)

Day 24: Bully - Lee!Reader x Ler!Sylus (Love and Deepspace)

Day 25: “No.” - Lee!Wade x Ler!Colossus (Deadpool)

Day 26: Timer - Lee!Aventurine x Ler!Ratio (Honkai Star Rail)

Day 27: Picky - Lee!Cherry x Ler!Joe (SK8 the Infinity)

Day 28: “The number you have dialed…” - Lee!Takeda x Ler!Ukai (Haikyuu)

Day 29: Help - Lee!Moze x Ler!Jiaoqiu (Honkai Star Rail)

Day 30: Magic - Lee!Frieren x Ler!Himmel (Sousou no Frieren)

Day 31: Rest - Lee!Narumi x Ler!Hirotaka (Wotakoi)

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Depressed!anon here. Thank you for inspiring me 💜 heres the concept for my goofy lil oc(art coming soon)

---

OAKE 13 Model-D, The Ochre City/ Oakley, the Wistful Vivarium!

A multi-die Puppet designed as a moving city, meant to be capable of housing a sizeable population. Well, for the rich, of course. Multiple soul dies were used to make the entire city move, with Oakley at the head, and seven additional soul dies for the legs, windsails, and tail of Model D. OAKE stood for Oct-Alma Automotive Kinetic Environment, with three models being prototyped. OAKEs never made it to full-scale production, due to the immense resource requirements and the fragility of the sanity in the soul dice. Oakley was one such prototype, Model Dragon. 

As 13 M-D, Oakley was old enough to witness the fall of humanity. His immense body contained a giant vivarium, a completely enclosed mobile city. As the other seven soul dice slowly became corrupt and caused the destabilization of the vivarium, Oakley did his best to lead his collapsing body to what he hoped would be a safe haven, before he too gave into madness. He gave up his fight not far from the City of Circuits, an immobile head attached to a rusting hull.

As a rebuilt Puppet, Oakley has a smaller frame, and his own body for once. Now a dragon Animatronic, he can freely roam to his heart's desire, providing a method of fast travel for Pomni when they cross paths. Oakley's one and only wish is to see the world rebuilt.

WOAH

WOAHHHHHH

WOAHHHHHHHHHHHH /VERY MUCH POS

if I had a nickel for everytime someone created a dragon OC with such a fleshed out and intriguing concept for this AU, I would have two nickels

which isn't a lot but it's SO AWESOME THAT IT HAPPENED TWICE AUGH

My brain immediately thought of Shadow of the Colossus for this big guy and I think that's so amazing, I LOOOOOOVE giant creatures colossal beings my absolute beloved I wish we had them in real life but as friends

I'm getting sidetracked I'm just so excited for this concept like WHATTTT, A GIANT MECHANICAL DRAGON THAT'S ALSO A FLOATING CITY?!??! FOR THE RICH!???!?!?! I WANNA SEE THAT SHIT JUST TO WITNESS HOW SUCH A THING TRAVERSES FROM POINT A TO POINT B AUGHHHH THAT SOUNDS SO COOL (but also... very tragic.... 7 dices were used... containing multiple souls... Oh, these poor, tragic people who had to be subjected to such cruelty. I hope they found peace somewhat, if the dices were destroyed)

The concept of fast travel was something I've been considering for this AU too, mostly with the idea of "soul magic + device that causes object displacement" (or more commonly known as "teleportation") BUT NOPE, GIANT DRAGON NOW, LOVE IT, PITCH IT, SELL IT

(also reminds me of The Last Stag from Hollow Knight, would Oakley also be giving Pomni the option to go from city to city? All the major, largest cities of this world are neighbors, and they kinda form like, a weird giant cog)

OH, this makes me SO excited to see your concept art for it. like, oh my lord. Goodness gracious, it's going to be amazing and I just know it. As usual, take your time, don't feel pressured, I await the lad's visual concept with all the patience in the world teehee :3

[quanyixhen]

Cringetober day 13 Rule 36 (genderbend) 🪆💪

I decided to go with Colossus (who id die for) 🙂‍↕️

[bumblebee-art-blog]

Silly Ruby Wilson fun facts because I got bored and figured this was a good idea

- Ruby has ADHD (you can guess whose fault was that. Cough- cough WADE).

- Owns Deadpool Merch. Despite the fact Deadpool wasn’t around as much in this universe, he made quite the impression. Killing villains in a highway can do that.

- Can’t seem to keep a single part time job…

- She originally was gonna go full out and stick with the name ‘Deadpool’ but she quickly changed it to GirlPool because people kept mistaking her for a very flamboyant guy for some reason.

- Since Ruby was born in the Great year of 2000, that would make her Gen Z (It’s an AU, the timeline isn’t 100% movie canon)

- Ruby used to be on a baseball team in middle school but got kicked out after hitting another kid in the knees with the bat.

- She is probably one of the most competitive people out there. Especially in laser tag or paintball.

- Learned how to use a gun by the age of 13 (thanks, Wade. Vanessa scolded him for that).

- Was deemed a ‘problem’ child in school (𝓉𝓂)

- Ruby has a rational fear of Canadian geese

- Externally, she looks like she would be one of the cool, intimidating kids from school. In reality, she’s just an insecure, lovable idiot.

- Has attended Comic-Con every year since she was five.

- Would be the type to say things like “let him cook” and “rizz” unironically sometimes. (she dies a little inside every Time she says rizz)

- Ruby makes her own comic-con cosplays (which is how she made her GirlPool suit).

- Owns a lot of X-Men comics and takes extremely good care of them.

- Colossus used to be her babysitter.

- Yukio taught her how to dye her hair.

- Wade and Ruby have monthly karaoke nights.

- A very good drummer!

- The cut eyebrow originally happened with a razor (she will not elaborate), but then she thought it looked cool so she kept it.

[rettomus]

Inktober 2023 works PART II

11. Wander [Wander - Shadow Of The Colossus]

12. Spicey [Nia - Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann]

13. Rise [Rise Kujikawa - Persona 4]

14. Castle [Howl - Howl's Moving Castle]

15. Dagger [Garnet - Final Fantasy IX]

16. Angel [Flonne - Disgaea]

17. Demon [Laharl - Disgaea]

18. Saddle [Soul & Maka - Soul Eater]

19. Plump [Fat Chocobo - Final Fantasy IX]

20. Frost [Jin Kisaragi - Blazblue]

21. Chains [Naminé - Kingdom Hearts]

[sheikfangirl]

your puppet zelda headcanons are definitely making me reconsider her as a concept!! i agree she felt very underdeveloped but has a lot of potential. from a gameplay perspective, if you had your way in integrating/rewriting puppet zelda into totk's narrative, how would you do it? i feel like you'd make her infinitely more developed lol

Hey @pitchblackespresso Thank you for your patience! I know, your question has been in my inbox for a couple of days now but I thought it was so interesting I really wanted to take the time to think about my answer before replying. Obviously, I would've looooove if the dev team added more depth to Puppet Zelda, I mean, she's a walking horror movie trope just waiting to ooze angst and hurt!! hdkjlsgjsjniosdgv!!!!! I happen to be a game dev in real life and I play games with a game dev point of view... I always put myself in the team's shoes and I have empathy for them. Making a game is hard work and what they achieved with TotK is insane. Obviously Puppet Zelda wasn't their priority and I can't wait to learn more from the Masterwork book... I would never ever pretend I would've done a better job than them!! Buuuuuuuut! We are here to brainstorm and have "what if" fun! Here are a couple of confused ideas that will, hopefully make sense :) Find a way to boost the "confused Link" narrative. Puppet Zelda was so obviously NOT the real Zelda, I wish the writers had played with our skepticism a bit and made us doubt and consider that she might just be the real Zelda. I want to be manipulated by Puppet Zelda dammit!!! (and be stepped on, but that's another story)!

Trigger Puppet Zelda encounters!! Going to a specific place on a Blood Moon and trigger a Puppet Zelda encounter !

Picture this: Blood moon ambiance, 100 times worse! She could've made Gloom Shrines appear, full of hellish puzzles or just straight up old school dungeons? But...scary dungeons!  Who here is OoT Shadow Temple PTSD? I sure am! Picture The Shadow Temple, but black, red and on Steroids....the kind of weird shit straight out of the original Hellraiser or a PG-13 version of Berserk's Eclipse. Evil Quests? Something that would've been super dark but sadly impossible without the integration of some kind of morality system like games such as Dragon Age and Mass Effect (Games I'm also obsessed with by the way) : Having Puppet Zelda give Link Dark quest objectives that would have made us question her sanity and intentions and have consequences on Link.  A Good old fashion Battle We should have had the opportunity to FIGHT HER!!! That would've been HEARTBREAKING!!!!  Bonus: This one is not about Puppet Zelda, but about Link. It seems like a detail but..I wish his model changed as we progressed throughout the story. The closer you get to the end, the more dirty and tired Link would have looked, like Wander in the influencal masterpiece game "Shadow of the Colossus." I hope you are not disappointed by these couple of proposals :) Welcome to the cult! Glory to Puppet Zelda ✋ Cheers!!!

[battry-acid]

Ur autistic Colossus post is so good! I like it a lot. I'm a bigger fan of his sister so I don't usually analyze him on his own so it makes me appreciate him a lot more! I'd love to hear your thoughts on his relationship with Kitty

ty!!!!! and i also love illyana, she's so awesome and her relationship with her big brother makes me so happy. i love how different and yet so similar they are and how they always care about each other so much no matter what. <333

kitty and piotr....oh boy. this is probably gonna be way longer than it needs to be, it will probably take multiple posts. i just have a lot of thoughts. i also anticipate pissing a good few people off so i apologize in advance for that.

<< warnings: inappropriate depiction of a minor (visuals), inappropriate age gap in a relationship, non-consent, mentions of pedophilia and child marriage, alcohol (visuals) >>

it's too big of an age gap. that's it. it's not that i think the two of them don't have some kind of chemistry as characters, it's simply the fact that kitty and piotr met when piotr was 18 and kitty was 13. 13 years old. when they break up, kitty is 14 and piotr is nearly 20. and their ages are constantly commented on. it makes my stomach twist to think of either of them in that kind of inappropriate relationship, and it makes me feel even worse to know how much the other x-men encourage their relationship in the comics. really, really makes me sick.

issue #129. kitty is introduced as 13 years old. two pages later, the writers draw attention to kitty noticing piotr first when she meets the x-men.

issue #131. piotr carries kitty to safety. after bopping one last baddie, piotr notices kitty staring at him.

this is all innocent stuff at first. i'm not bothered by this, as it's a one-sided crush kitty has on an older soon-to-be teammate. teen girls can have their cute little crushes! it's no biggie. it isn't reciprocated by piotr, and that's all that matters to me.

then the shit hits the fan when "days of future past" starts up in issue #141.

they're married in the future. married. they had children together.

once again, there is nothing inherently wrong with this. they're two consenting adults in the future, an age gap isn't that big of a deal. but this is the writers' way of solidifying that they want piotr and kitty to be a couple. that is the plan.

where my problem with the writers' portrayal of these characters starts is when kitty's future self takes over her present body, and everything immediately becomes weird.

smells like a woman. what the fuck does "smells like a woman" mean???

now that the writers have established that kitty and piotr will assumedly become a couple, they can start pushing for it even when the events of this story arc end.

issue #143 is when my skin really starts to crawl. i have seen multiple people draw fanart specifically of these few panels, and as cute as the art may be, the fact that kitty is 13 years old and piotr is 18 years old at the time will never leave my mind.

kitty starts coming on to piotr and it is immediately joked about and encouraged by the other x-men. kurt and logan will be especially bad about this from now on.

even kitty's parents have no issue with this relationship. y'know, the incredibly protective parents that didn't want her to join the x-men at all at first due to how dangerous it is.

issue #149. "boyfriend." cool. thanks, logan.

i must emphasize again that my problem is not with the characters themselves, i love all of the x-men, it is the writers and the marvel heads that approved of this character arc. the characters don't question the inappropriate nature of this relationship because the writers don't question it. the characters encourage it because they're given the morals the writers have.

in my heart, logan, kurt, and every other x-man would never approve of this kind of relationship. in my heart, kitty would never pursue it. and in my heart, piotr would never reciprocate it.

but he does, because the writers want him to. and in issue #151, we see them kiss for the first time in the present:

i also want to point out that the writers aren't the only ones at fault with this. in this same issue, look at how the artists choose to illustrate kitty:

this is way too sexualized of a depiction of a minor. they choose to emphasize her ass and skinny waist and give her the facial proportions of an adult woman. this is not the first nor the last time they will sexualize kitty while she is still an underage character.

it sows discord how different the characters look/how they're depicted visually vs. how they're written to act. piotr as a teenager was still drawn to be a fully grown mature adult despite his very young demeanour. kitty is constantly in bikinis and her face is drawn as if she's much older than thirteen. she's immature and impulsive and has traits that are expected of a kid/teenager, she is treated like a kid and even called "kid" by characters like logan, but she isn't always drawn as one. and i don't want to hear about "oh well some teenagers physically mature faster than others" because if this is the only way you depict people of this age group, there is a problem. comic artists of this time are kind of famous for having no clue how to draw kids (though honestly comic artists of today still have that issue). it is incredibly important to me as an artist and a writer that these depictions are as accurate and appropriate as they can be.

continuing on to issue #153. god, i hate this one. if not for the depiction of kitty and piotr, then the racial caricatures for sure.

kitty begins taking on a motherly role for illyana (who is still a toddler at this point) as piotr watches over her. kitty tells her a bedtime story, and in the story, piotr's role in it is as "her true love".

oh and also? hate the portrayal of kurt in this issue. yeah, he's got mad game, he gets so many bitches, can we not have one of the people he pursues be 13 years old??? please??? and, again, the characters don't take issue with this because the writers don't.

issue #159. she simultaneously talks about being 14 years old and being in a relationship with piotr. the writers want to emphasize how young and inexperienced she is while simultaneously pairing her up with an adult character.

then the brood arc happens. if you don't know about the brood arc, it's like an alien ripoff. i love the drama of it, seeing how characters grapple with their imminent death, but i am not one that enjoys the analogy of something alien growing inside of one's body. not my cup of tea at all.

anyway, onto issue #165. i want to share these pages in full.

this entire sequence feels more like an older sibling or parent comforting an upset child then two consenting individuals pursuing a relationship. the dynamic is completely off. this is not romantic, this is exclusively platonic/familial to me. they're going to die, and piotr is not swooning over her till his dying breath, he is comforting her like he would his little sister.

they have a conversation about the importance of age in their relationship. kitty looks noticeably younger in these panels, drawn more like the child that she is.

i wish i knew what piotr was thinking in all of this. i miss his thought bubbles going into detail about how conflicted he feels all of the time. all we get, in this entire arc of a relationship with kitty, are his physical actions and what he chooses to verbalize. like i said, piotr is very autistic-coded to me, and he very often keeps his thoughts and opinions to himself. as the audience, we don't even get that usual inner monologue of his this time around. i truly do not know what he is thinking.

is the thought of imminent death really making him question their relationship now? or has he been questioning it from the start? why did he kiss her if he's starting to feel as though he shouldn't be in a relationship with her? why is he the only one that has an issue with their age gap? there are so many questions i will never have answers to. i only get to speculate about how he feels and what the intentions of the writers were in this scene.

the brood is defeated, the parasites destroyed, and the x-men have their lives back.

then professor xavier jumpscares everyone in issue #167 leading into #168 by declaring that kitty MUST join the new mutants and leave the x-men for good because she's too young. the iconic "professor xavier is a JERK!" opening page comes from this.

and the issue is majorly disappointing! by the end, she's back on the x-men team. xavier immediately retracts his statement because kitty does a good job in one training session and that's apparently enough. seeing her in action was enough to decide, yes, she's enough of an adult to be an x-man.

this is also around the time piotr starts referring to kitty as "katya", a pet name. is it because he's becoming more comfortable in his relationship or because she has now officially been promoted to Adult Status so hes allowed to be romantic with her now?

oh also illyana is a teenager at this point and that's why the new mutants have started their comic run in tandem with uncanny x-men. kitty appears in both comics from now on and is friends with both teams, especially besties with illyana.

i will be skipping over much of the caliban and kitty story arc that happens around this time that is supposed to emphasize just how much kitty is willing to sacrifice for piotr. caliban and kitty's relationship is more explicitly supposed to be depicted as gross and inappropriate since caliban is much more obviously an older adult, and all of the characters hate caliban for being in love with kitty. it felt hypocritical to me as a child and it still feels hypocritical now that piotr gets a pass for being with kitty but caliban does not. why? is it because he's conventionally attractive and still a teenager despite clearly being a huge buff adult man that is treated as an adult and an equal among the x-men? neither piotr nor caliban should be with kitty, it doesn't matter how much older caliban is supposed to be. both have significant age gaps with kitty so both should be inappropriate.

issue #174. "i won't take 'no' for an answer." he doesn't want to go with her, but he does anyway, because he knows she won't take no for an answer.

she surprises him with a kiss. he's upset, but he forgives her. that little surprise kiss leads to something more. piotr recognizes that kitty looks scared, but she doesn't care, so piotr goes along with it, because he knows she won't take no for an answer.

holy fuck thank you ororo for coming in at the perfect time end this immediately.

the echoes of what happened to him with nereel in the savage land still haunt me. i do not like that there is a theme of piotr not consenting to implicitly sexual acts in his relationships. << maybe i will talk about that entire aspect of piotr's character arc another time. maybe i won't. it makes me feel so, so much worse than everything that happens with kitty. >>

back to the topic of the new mutants, though. doug ramsey is introduced and becomes fast friends with kitty, which makes piotr, who already felt conflicted about his relationship with kitty, feel even more conflicted.

this conversation between piotr and logan in issue #180 sums up this character conflict the best:

i do not think that piotr genuinely feels jealousy towards doug and kitty's relationship. i simply think kitty's interactions with doug have brought even more attention to how much piotr and kitty lack in commonality, how much better doug would be as a match for kitty than himself. he's closer to her own age, with similar interests, same level of intelligence, more properly on the same playing field as mutants still mastering their abilities... doug is a peer to kitty, and piotr is not.

it's complicated. but it's also not complicated at all. i too think doug is a better match for kitty than piotr for all of these reasons. i don't blame piotr at all for feeling this way.

there's also this entire theme of changes happening in kitty's life and her having to accept them, like the whole subplot of her and storm who were previously incredibly close striking friction due to kitty not liking storm's new attitude or appearance.

there's been hints towards piotr and kitty breaking up for a while just as there's been buildup to this conversation between kitty and storm about those themes.

CONTINUED HERE. PLEASE READ THE SECOND PART TO GET THE FULL CONTEXT

[capacle]

20 Brazilian TTRPGs I wish also existed in English

Today I offer you:

20 Brazilian TTRPGs I wish also existed in English (because I want the world to know about them)

Buckle up, because you won't BELIEVE the diversity of our indie scene.

[presented in no particular order, and only one per author]

1. Meu Brinquedo Preferido ('My favorite toy'), by Eduardo Caetano

A metaphor about a child's growing process by deconstructing their fears through playful situations.

2. SeanchaS, by Jorge Valpaços and Jefferson Neves

A game about myths, construction of identity and narrative around bonfires, about the time of ancient stories and the present time.

3. Gatunos, by Tiago Junges

A GMless/Solo game in which you play as cat thieves and mercenaries doing the dirty work of the five big factions that run the city.

4. Nômades (Nomads), by Marcelo Collar

A card-based RPG in which you play as beings who have the ability to find and pass through the cracks in the veil that separates the universes.

5. Infaernum, by Caio Romero

Create your own apocalypse while playing the game, and interpret characters who experience the last days of all things.

6. Áureos, Os Dançarinos da Lua ('The Moon Dancers'), by Rey Ooze

A game of fight and freedom where dice play capoeira. You play as an 'Áureo', a former slave who, in a fantastic colonial Brazil, receives the blessings of his Orisha to free his people from slavery.

7. Veridiana, by Alan Silva

You play as creatures that live in a large tree, embarking on a deeply sentimental journey in search of a cure.

8. Karyu Densetsu, by Thiago Rosa and Nina Bichara

A game inspired by action anime and manga, with tactical combat, philosophical conversation, and passionate ideals.

9. Imperia, by Jonny Garcia

A game of politics and intrigue in a medieval court, inspired by Game of Thrones. Create a kingdom collaboratively and assume the role of the most influential people in it.

10. Goddess save the Queen, by Carol Neves and Julio Matos

A pulp adventure game in which you play as secret agents of the British Crown during the interwar period, with their own agenda connected in some way with their home nation.

11. Abismo Infinito ('Infinite Abyss'), by John Bogéa

A narrative game of psychological horror in which the protagonists are astronauts, far away in space, involved in a web of lucid nightmares and manifestations of their own fears.

12. Mojubá, by Lucas Conti and Lucas Sampaio

An Afrofuturistic urban fantasy game inspired by Yoruba and Afro-Brazilian mythologies. Play as a person with fantastic powers who descends from the Orixás, fights evil spirits, and occasionally gets into a rap battle.

13. Chopstick, by Igor Moreno

A game inspired by action movies of oriental martial arts, gang fights and crime, with a twist on Fate Accelerated.

14. Contos do Galeão ('Tales of the Galleon'), by Encho Chagas

Create together the legend of a vessel that would have existed during the Golden Age of Piracy. Players will create the ship, its pirates, as well as its enemies, challenges, and rewards.

15. O Cordel do Reino do Sol Encantado ('The Cordel of the Kingdom of the Enchanted Sun'), by Pedro Borges

A narrative game set in the northeastern 'cangaço' region at the beginning of the 20th century.

16. Através das Trevas ('Through the Darkness'), by Ramon Mineiro

A post-apocalyptic fantasy game inspired by The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, The Witcher and Diablo.

17. Nihilo, by Andre Osna and Gustavo Rolanski

A world very much like our own—yet bigger, deeper, and stranger. Secret banks are run by Urban Dragons, Infernal mafias terrorize slums, interdimensional portals open in the basements of abandoned pizzerias.

18. Caçada ao Colosso ('Hunt for the Colossus'), by Jairo Borges Filho

Reenact stories such as Siegfried and the dragon Fafnir, the Greek Odyssey or legends centered on the opposition of two primary forces of humanity.

19. Perdidos ('Lost'), by Marcelo Paschoalin

Inspired by Bloodborne and Dark Souls, a world in ruins, fragmented to the point where only memories remain. You'll find relics of yesteryear, monstrous beasts, beings that have forgotten their purpose, and devious paths to tread.

20. Hitodama - A jornada das almas ('The Journey of the Souls'), by Alexsander Araujo

You are Shinigamis: creatures half divinity, half Yokai, who must carry out missions through different worlds, fighting formidable enemies and saving lost souls.

[xmencovered]

ALL 15 X-MEN ALEX ROSS TIMELESS VIRGIN SKETCH VARIANTS / Published: 2020 / Artist: Alex Ross

Giant Size X-Men 1 - Storm

Rogue and Gambit 1 - Mystique

Sins of Sinister Dominion 1 - Apocalypse

Hellions 5 - Phoenix

Excalibur 13 - Nightcrawler

Marauders 13 - Iceman

X-Men 20 - Dark Phoenix

X-Factor 4 - Angel

X-Force 13 - Beast

Wolverine 6 - Wolverine

Scarlet Witch 4 - Magneto

Wolverine 31 - White Queen

Captain Marvel 47 - Juggernaut

X-Men 13 - Cyclops

New Mutants 13 - Colossus

[frankendykes-monster]

Countdown to Halloween 2024 ranked

54. The Willies (1990)

53. Hell High (1987)

52. Face of The Screaming Werewolf (1964)

51. Terrifier (2016)

50. The Last Halloween (1991)

49. Cathy's Curse (1977)

48. The Last Shark (1981)

47. Godzilla × Kong: The New Empire (2024)

46. Creepozoids (1987)

45. The Horror of Frankenstein (1970)

44. Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks (1974)

43. Man Beast (1956)

42. Tourist Trap (1979)

41. Daughter of Dr. Jekyll (1957)

40. Fiend (1980)

39. Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

38. Devil Girl From Mars (1954)

37. Halloween Hall o' Fame (1977)

36. Nightmare (1981)

35. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)

34. Peeping Tom (1960)

33. Violent Shit (1989)

32. Invaders From Mars (1986)

31. Eggshells (1969)

30. Night of The Ghouls (1959)

29. Scream, Blacula, Scream (1973)

28. The Strange World of Planet X (1958)

27. The Colossus of New York (1958)

26. The Scooby-Doo Project (1999)

25. Night of The Living Doo (2001)

24. Scooby-Doo! and The Reluctant Werewolf (1988)

23. The Great Bear Scare (1983)

22. The Wasp Woman (1995)

21. The Cyclops (1957)

20. Frankenstein and The Monster from Hell (1974)

19. The Tingler (1959)

18. The Boogey Man (1980)

17. The Dragon Lives Again (1977)

16. Quatermass and The Pit (1967)

15. The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

14. Mad Love (1935)

13. The Alien Factor (1978)

12. The Walking Dead (1935)

11. Dr. Caligari (1989)

10. The Deadly Spawn (1983)

9. Invaders From Mars (1953)

8. Alucarda (1977)

7. Uzumaki (2024)

6. Sole Survivor (1984)

5. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

4. Shock Waves (1977)

3. Frankenhooker (1990)

2. Invasion of The Body Snatchers (1978)

1. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)

What a productive year. October lasts all of 30 seconds which is why I have to start watching these in July if I want to make any decent headway (31 films is not enough). I desperately tried to make this a year of "have not seens" after last year's top spots being flooded with films I already loved; we mostly did it, mostly. Another top heavy year with relatively few abysmal entries, let's get started.

The Willies is the grand shitshow for this year. It feels like it's an evolutionary precursor to something like Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of The Dark?, but it mostly plays to gross out rather than scares. I don't normally care for anthology horror films to begin so to start off a film with brief segments like a woman eating a deep fried rat or a little white dog being microwave exploded and then doing extended stories on monsters hiding in the school bathroom does not do it for me. The most minimal points possible for some decent lighting and special effects but they are not enough by any means to make this worth watching. Stay away.

Onto the 1980's horror: Hell High is what happens when a film crew asks "what if we put a woman into a situation and didn't stop". I want to call it misogynistic torture porn, but I don't want to devalue that phrase for when I use it for a film later on here, but suffice to say a woman is tortured. Emotionally. For very little reason. Universal was right to block The Last Shark from US theatrical distribution. Not because it's a very blatant Jaws ripoff and they wanted to protect their copyright, but because it's abysmal and nobody should have to pay money to see this. I think the stock footage of sharks juxtaposed with the unmoving props between shots is funny, and some of the soundtrack elevates the experience, like the high shrill drones when the shark attacks a helicopter. Creepozoids is an odd one because 1987 was a bit late for a Mad Max/Escape from New York/Alien knockoff but also too early for some Full Moon tier/softcore porn adjacent 1990's production, so it loses out on both fronts. Fiend I'm struggling to even recall, I feel like Don Dohler had one movie in him (see: his plethora of alien invasion films) and him trying to branch out did him no favors. Nightmare is one I want to enjoy because it's beautifully shot but I feel like I've seen one too many slasher adjacent films at this point that include plot points like the killer having a troubled relationship with his mother or him moonlighting as a regular guy (still better than Pieces mind you). Same with Violent Shit. I feel like my tastes are pretty attuned to films that are just gore effects showcases but this one doesn't have any zany concepts to justify or compliment it, so it just falls flat.

The Boogey Man belongs to that tirade of Halloween knockoffs that flooded theaters up till about 1984 or so, but it puts in some extra effort like having a ghost be the main antagonist and a symbolic interest in mirrors, which is much more than could be asked of films like Terror Train which came out the same year. Dr. Caligari is the obligatory "this is what Tim Burton thinks he's doing" film of this year; its sets and its performances are perfectly otherworldly to a humorous degree. It's something of a quasi-sequel to the 1920 film but its relationship with logic is attuned to such a frequency that it's not a hindrance. Very hard to objectively quantify, you're either in the target audience or you aren't, so of all films here take its tier placement the least seriously. The Deadly Spawn is such a gloriously gross film. The house it's shot in isn't supposed to be disgusting on purpose, it's just one of those century's old buildings where I feel like I'd revulse if I had to touch any surface, and that's before fleshy alien monsters break in and start shredding people to bits. Sole Survivor is one of those magical "missing link" horror films, we've finally found what comes between Carnival of Souls and Final Destination. The actual scares in this film are incredibly minimal as it prioritizes atmosphere that balances between comfort and unease, something incredibly rare for films of virtually any genre. Don't go in expecting ghosts and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Taking a brief-ish detour to the 1960's, Face of The Screaming Werewolf is one of those films I'm more angry at than anything because it's one of those films that's just the combined stray footage of multiple previous films. Rare for these to be produced in the western market (most of the examples I think of are from (south)east Asia) but it's infuriating nonetheless to see something only to discover it's a worse version of multiple better things you could be seeing. Peeping Tom is our "most overrated" entry winner, I don't know why so many people applaud this one, I feel like barely anything of substance happens to such a degree that any ounce of suspense you could draw from this just disappears, and what a shame with the concept at play here that feels as if it would take another decade for everyone else to catch up. Eggshells is the directorial debut of Tobe Hooper and while cohesive narrative is virtually nonexistent here, the amount of experimental editing keeps this going throughout the entire runtime, you can definitely see where The Texas Chainsaw Massacre came from down the line. I feel like I'm somewhat disappointed with Quatermass and The Pit (not sure what "The Pit" refers to now that I think of it) mostly becasue the first two Quatermass films are among the best 1950's science fiction films. All three are theatrical remakes of television mini-series and that's most felt here with how so much of the film takes place in the single location of an unearthed Martian ship in the heart of London. I do love that we have a science fiction film positing that humans are partly the genetic ancestors of aliens prior to people taking that seriously with books like Chariot of The Gods. The Brain That Wouldn't Die is magical, sometimes those oft hated 1950's/1960's science fiction films have something to give back to the rest of us. Here it's a man so obsessed with his own work that he sees his wife's death as an opportunity to try and kill other women so that he can use their bodies as grounds to bring her back. Which sounds like something else I watched...

...said film being Frankenhooker, which has largely the same plot but now functions as a dark comedy. God. I hate so much that the capitalist enclosure on the production and distribution of film prevented us from getting so much more from Frank Henenlotter. The man is one of the best to ever direct horror, and anyone who thinks this film or any of his other work are "bad movies" just flat out do not know what they're talking about. I think compared to Basket Case and Brain Damage however, Frankenhooker is the one that "keeps giving". You think you've seen everything the film has to offer and then something like a hotel room full of women combusts as they succumb to the effects of exploding crack or Elizabeth (the titular character) has her head punched back and starts spewing smoke and electricity everywhere. Film is a magical medium of art.

Terrifier is what I held onto "misogynistic torture porn" for. No narrative, no character work, just opportunities to show Art the Clown dismember and murder women in revolting ways. It's one of those films that vindicates everyone that doesn't like this genre and makes me wonder what I'm doing sitting side by side with people that like this shit. I think Art cutting off a woman's breasts and scalp and attaching them to his nude body to disguise himself as another prior female victim of his is when my mouth went agape and audibly asked what the fuck am I watching, cannot stress enough how much it takes to get that reaction out of me. There's an upfront showcase that Terrifier knows that it's trash and revels in it, I mean there's an early scene where we see Art has spelled out his name in his own shit, and I'm not sure how to interpret that other than I feel like I might be landing in a Duchamp's Urinal trap. For reasons that allude even me I am still eyeing the prospect of watching both sequels.

I think my overall reaction to Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is one of "whatever". A passably bad film is a definite improvement from the abomination that was Godzilla vs. Kong but it's admittedly easy to rise up when you start from the bottom. Adam Wingard more or less sucked all the joy I could muster out of the Monsterverse, I truly do not care anymore. If anything can be gleaned from this film it's that this is a film made to reconfirm people's existing biases of "I hate the boring human scenes, I'm only watching this for the monsters." Kong is the best actor in this film because the special effects team have to have him actually emote in response to a given situation, which is more than could be asked of anyone actually on the set, apparently. It's a miracle that this came out in the shadow of Godzilla Minus One than on its own terms.

The glut of 1950's science fiction films are a perennial staple of the Halloween countdown but they don't have a huge showing this year. Man Beast is one I'm going to confuse with all the other yeti movies of the decade though having a main antagonist that's actually a human hybrid gets it some points for originality. Daughter of Dr. Jekyll infuriates me because women who become monsters in film never get to be "hideous" and "scary" like their male counterparts, I'm throwing tomatoes at this one. Devil Girl From Mars is mostly memorable for having a giant clunky robot a la Gort, but the actual titular antagonist doesn't "serve cunt" enough to warrant interest, she should have taken notes from The Astounding She-Monster. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is an honorable mention because it's a feature-length pastiche of the z-grade films of this era. I don't think it's particularly funny and I kind of wish they lampooned a "good" film of this type rather than make something that fits in line with the middling genre efforts. Night of The Ghouls is the last horror film directed by Ed Wood and I feel like I enjoy it slightly more than Plan 9 From Outer Space. It's far more competent in producing that lulling insomniac reaction than Wood's prior efforts but I still don't "get" the attention his work consistently gets. The Strange World of Planet X gets a special pass from me just because the finale has a bunch of giant bugs attacking stuff. Moving on.

The Colossus of New York is an oddball modern Frankenstein of sorts with a guy being transformed into a giant robot and struggling to maintain some attachment to his former life. It doesn't always work but once again giant clunky robots are giant clunky robots. I'm something of a Bert I. Gordon apologist so something like The Cyclops is going to hit harder for me than it does for most people. I just like people wandering around Bronson Cave and poor matte shots of giant animals moving in and out of frame, okay? The Tingler was the oddest revisit I've had in a while. I don't think I fully "get" William Castle's approach to film but what stuck out to me is how this one takes place in largely two locations and how Vincent Price's character is kind of the antagonist, experimenting on animals, himself, and other people (resulting in a murder) to get at the Tingler. Much like in House on Haunted Hill I'm not wholly sure how some of the spooky things in this film actually work and I don't think I'm meant to, adding to the bizarre nature of the entire series of affairs here.

Invaders From Mars...oh yes. One of the absolute best 1950's science fiction films is also the most lyrical and dreamlike. It reads at times like a Soviet parody of an American child's story would be like; a boy sees every institution designed to protect him as a child and as an American turn against him on account of some nefarious foreign invader, so his only course of action is to get the US military involved. It plays out so well because it's a POV piece from a young boy, which eases over any leaps in logic both in terms of form and content of this film. Which is more than can be said of the remake, part of the diminishing returns of Tobe Hooper's then contract with Cannon. The film largely follows the same plot structure but decenters the frame through which we see it unfold giving it a "the military is legit" vibe. It also is just a bit more mean-spirited in ways that are designed to taunt the audience versus the original film's more hardened edge to it. I think a great summation of the difference between the two is that the 1953 film had Martian bodyguards that are clearly guys in fuzzy green pajama suits, but they're more threatening than the ones in the 1986 film which are giant quadruped Stan Winston monsters. I digress. Had this come out 20 years later it would be classified as part of the wave of "why are they remaking everything?"

Speaking of remakes, briefly want to mention the 1995 Wasp Woman. It's The Wasp Woman for the 1990's, now with explosions and softcore sex scenes. I can't wholly defend the original 1959 film despite my affinity for it, so let's just say this one is of comparable quality.

The 1930's are a delightful treasure trove for horror but sadly we only have two up for offer. Mad Love makes me curious as to how other adaptations of The Hands of Orlac handle the material; I was convinced a guy got his head surgically reattached and with artificial hands to boot. Always good to see Colin Clive and Peter Lorre. The Walking Dead feels like a dry run for what Boris Karloff would do later that decade in the much better The Man They Could Not Hang, just with him as the victim here and not the mastermind. Truly some of his best work as an actor as he has to float through the world not being allowed to live or die, that shit sticks with you.

We watched a scant few Halloween specials proper, I always feel like I want to watch every Halloween special possible but sometimes the enthusiasm leaves me. The Last Halloween is trash, but that's on me for thinking something made for very small children would appeal to me as an adult. It crams far too much into its brief 22 minute runtime, so the only thing that manages to escape into the zone of interest is that the CGI aliens are actually very well done for a 1991 television production, had this been all about them (voiced by Hanna Barbara stalwarts such as Frank Welker and Don Messick, along with Paul Williams), this would have been far more tolerable. Halloween Hall o' Fame is the first of apparently several Disney television specials that repackaged their theatrical shorts inside a live-action framing device. It's quaint but this format would live and die by the quality of the shorts included; I'm not intimately familiar with Disney's back catalogue solely because they've barely released anything on home media but I absolutely adore the one where Pluto goes to Hell and is put in a kangaroo court with cats on the jury. I feel like the novelty of The Scooby-Doo Project and Night of The Living Doo have carried them along further than their actual quality have, stray artifacts from when Warner Bros was briefly testing to see if Scooby could be an adult property now, doomed to the same fate as Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. The latter of these two specials made me come to terms with the fact that David Cross was "a big deal" at some point. The Great Bear Scare is the winner here. How could you not like an animated special where bears have to stand up and be brave against an oncoming horde of Halloween monsters? What makes this an oddity (sort of an obligation for me and Halloween specials) is that this is animated 100% without in-betweens, so every character in every scene cross-dissolves in real time between their keyframes. Depending on who you are it could be ridiculously distracting or make you step back and appreciate how hard animation is.

Clearing out our remaining animated showings, I felt like I would really get back into Scooby-Doo and The Reluctant Werewolf. In the mid-late 2000's when Cartoon Network was desperately trying to excise showing anything from their backlogs, this is one of those films that was on repeat constantly as midday viewings especially over summer. It's just so far removed from what Scooby-Doo "proper" is that it's an enigma, I go to bat to defend each of the "red shirt Shaggy" movies but this is brain melting at times, there is no mystery to solve, monsters are real, Fred/Daphne/Velma are completely absent, half the film is dedicated to a drag race, it goes on and on and on that I feel numb after a bit. Uzumaki...it's good. I feel like the fact that this was in production hell for five years following the first trailer release made me stop caring so all the shenanigans regarding the reaction to the animation dropping off (the production team got screwed over, how the fuck do studios not have the money for FOUR EPISODES, David Zlasv strikes again) brushed off of me. Regardless of that I think the actual pacing would have restricted this given how much sequential material from the manga now has to occur concurrently. It gets by solely because it's Uzumaki and as such it channels such a foreboding sense of dread and despair that is unreal. This more than anything is the true epitome of cosmic horror because there is no "source" or "identity" behind the threat that is warping reality around you, there is nothing to oppose and be defiant against, which was true of the manga and it remains true here. Bravo.

The 1970's prove to be another sporadic decade for horror. Cathy's Curse proves that no matter how good technical effects are, do not watch any Carrie knockoffs. Blah. Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks...you took a movie where a Frankenstein monster fights a caveman and made it boring, congratulations. In the interim between 2021's viewing of Curse of Frankenstein and now, I've made the effort to watch the entirety of the Hammer Frankenstein series. They make for a brilliant reinterpretation of the source material with Frankenstein effectively being antagonist: he kills consistently for his experiments, which often time warp and alter people's identities along with their bodies. The "holy triumvirate" of the series as referred to by me would be The Revenge of Frankenstein, Frankenstein Created Woman, and Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed, all for showcasing new stuff that can be done with the character and any prior influences such as the Universal films being absent. Then comes The Horror of Frankenstein, a soft remake of Curse of Frankenstein, with Terence Fischer and Peter Cushing both absent. It's a dry and tedious affair that just rehashes what Curse already did, just now with a black comedic angle and no real consequences for Frankenstein himself. It's easily the worst of the series and why I'm glad Hammer backtracked for Frankenstein and The Monster From Hell. This is probably the first instance in film history where a sequel has consciously ignored a preceding remake, and while it's not wholly original either, it's comfort food for fans of this series, and now employs a darker more claustrophobic setting in an ~insane asylum~. Not the best ending for the series, but Hammer, along with Toho and Ray Harryhausen's efforts with Columbia, sort of represented the "old" styles of horror that were pretty quickly being replaced as the decade went on. This film specifically came out the same year as the likes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it was a transitional period where what horror once was was cast away. Still not sure why the monster in this film looks like a Neanderthal man but that's just me.

Tourist Trap desperately tries to be one part Psycho and one part Texas Chainsaw, and it admittedly starts off with a nice hook of animatronic puppets being the main focus of the film, but it falls through the cracks and just becomes another random 1970's horror film. Vampyros Lesbos makes me realize that my infatuation with Zombi 3 last year did not mean I'm suddenly infatuated with Lucio Fulci's overall filmography, exceptions are not the rule. Come to think I don't think I've seen a single lesbian vampire film that I'm smitten with, how do you make this boring and not sexy at all, fuck you. Scream, Blacula, Scream is the obligatory Blacula cash-in sequel, nothing worthwhile to see here and none of the charm and significance of the first film is carried forward here, sigh. "DEDICATED TO THE MILLIONS THAT LOVE BRUCE LEE," The Dragon Lives Again is one of the plethora of films featuring Lee impersonators following his death, showing Lee in Hell as he has to find a way back to Earth while also fighting off The Godfather, Dracula, The Man with No Name, Emanuele, Zatoichi, and James Bond while allying himself with Popeye and Dr. Who. No I am not making any of this up, yes, this film was made with very little money so it sounds far more interesting than it actually ends up being, but it's a cute film, I can't be mad at a film made for me, nor can a movie showing Popeye eat spinach to fight mummies or Bruce Lee knocking out Dracula with his "third leg" be something you don't go out of your way to watch.

The Alien Factor is Don Dohler's first and best film. I love the fact that a dozen people made a small scale alien invasion/slasher film in their backyards with actually solid special effects for something that was probably made on the weekends. You can't hate this film, it's made from pure love for what was already decades old genre material. Had some of the script and acting been tightened up this could have become one of the more widely recognized independent films of the decade. Oh...Alucarda. I hate when they make a lesbian devil worshiper film between girls coming to terms with theirs sexual orientation and then they aren't the heroes of the story. We've come a long way since then.

Given that the Eggers film is still a few months out, I'd say Nosferatu the Vampyre is my preferred interpretation of the story (not my favorite Dracula adaptation overall mind you). Let me say that I think remaking Nosferatu is ridiculous solely because you're just doing Dracula, again, just with some stylistic details brought on from a specific prior Dracula. But this film goes all out. It's one of those times where I'm reminded of why slowly paced films with shots that last minutes at a time are so great. It relies very little on narrative (the extent/nature of Dracula's power of the geographic barriers between Wismar and Transylvania go unexplained) but you get so thoroughly sucked into the setting and the characters that you can't complain. This has undeniably the best portrayal of Mina in any Dracula film, she's effectively the protagonist by the second half and each of her encounters with Dracula are on her terms, he's effectively powerless against her even if she ensures they both die in the end. Also, rats. So many rats. Everywhere. The plague is in town.

Shock Waves is just great 1970's horror. Shoot on location, hold the camera in hand the entire time, do it cheap, have a dreamy distant narrator, and make it grisly. I do find the concept of Nazis engineering platoons of super soldiers and we only seeing just the one in this film is probably the scariest thing about it, it invites you to think about what else is happening out of sight. My favorite first watch of the year.

1978's Invasion of The Body Snatchers is also a phenomenal remake. This one is difficult for me to talk about because it just pushes all my buttons, I felt like I wanted to cry throughout the duration of this viewing, it is an incredibly mean film. Someone you know just one day turns on you, and then everyone else follows suit. You think you know your surroundings and your city but everything is flipped upside down and you can't even describe why. From the very start when you see the premature pods land on Earth it's made immediately clear that no one is making it out of here, it was too late as soon as it started.

But there can only be one #1, and this year it's Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Another instance of "nothing is going to beat this" as soon as I rewatched it. I feel like I'm alone in considering this one of the absolute best in the series, I feel like between the espionage and exploration and blood and laser fights that this is just one of the films that reminds you of why we make and why we watch movies, you get to have some semblance of every possible human emotion watching this. There's not much more you can ask for.

[ohfugecannada]

Groot’s many backstories

So earlier I saw this post by @alastorgould where he over some of the many versions of Rocket’s backstories, eventually writing his own take on it that combined elements of all of them. It’s a pretty good summary of Rocket’s past and it’s many incarnations in the comics, cartoons and MCU etc and I highly recommend you check it out along with his rocket and halfworld related art/fics.

Anyway, It inspired to make my own post going over some of the backstories/incarnations of my personal favourite gotg character: Groot. Because A) as mentioned, he’s my fave, and imo one of the more underrated Guardians members out of the core 5, and B) Groot actually has quite a few takes on his backstory already through not only multiple retcons in the 616 comics continuity but also through several multi-media adaptations of the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise. And I thought it would be fun to share some of them with you all.

Obviously, this isn’t gonna cover every single piece of media Groot has been in/has had his backstory mentioned etc. But I did my research and tried my best to cover a good chunk of the most notable continuities and adaptations.

Also, I haven’t read the entirety of every comic Groot is in ever (I.E. the latest gotg Grootfall/Grootrise story arc) so forgive me if I get a few details wrong. If there are any die hard gotg/Groot comic readers out there, feel free to politely and respectfully correct me on a few things.

The Comics

In the main marvel 616 comics there have been at least 3 different versions of Groot’s backstory and origins. 4 if you count his very first incarnation…

Tales to astonish #13 (+ other King Groot appearances)

King Groot is the giant tree like ruler of Planet-X, and an alien invader who lands on earth to kidnap the humans from a small town in order to take them back to his home planet and experiment on them. Conventional weapons used by the towns military don’t work as this groot is immune to fire and explosives. But thanks to the quick thinking of protagonist human scientist Leslie Evens, king groot is taken down by genetically bred super termites. He seemingly dies in this story but later makes appearances in comics like the Howling Commandos, aiding the team. Most commonly being seen as an inhabitant of Monster Isle. There was a time where it was thought the groot on the guardians of the galaxy was the same groot as king groot (mainly the annihilation: conquest series), but this was later retconned as a different Groot impersonating King Groot. Which brings us to…

Guardians of the Galaxy #14 (2013)/Annihilators #1 and 2 (2012)

Groot was a flora colossus sapling who along with his fellow saplings (also all called groot) were looked after by a group of elder flora colossus called the Arbor Masters. This groot was different from the others as he often brefirended the maintenance mammals; small intelligent mammal like beings who most other flora colossus looked down on as inferior. One day, another group of flora colossai were bulling a squirrel-like maintenance mammal and groot steps in to defend it. After one of the more violent flora colossus nearly kills the mammal, groot snaps and tears the other colossus apart. Presumably killing him. This catches the attention of the Arbor masters, who then have groot banished from the planet via a space ship.

This groot would later go on to impersonate king Groot and join the team that would become the Guardians of the galaxy, in Annihilation Conquest: Starlord #1, where he’d first meet his teammate and future bff Rocket Raccoon. The way he was written in annihilation conquest made it seem like he was the same character as King Groot, but this was later retconned in Annihilators #1 and 2 as well as Guardians of the Galaxy #14.

Groot vol.1 (2015)

My personal favourite comic origin for groot. (Also literally the best version of Groot in any media ever dont @ me)

Groot is born on Planet X, where the flora colossus are towering giants who regularly kidnap beings from other planets to preform experiments on them. Groot is disturbed and appalled by the actions of his people but feels powerless to do anything… until one night where he discovers a little human girl, Hannah, being held prisoner in one of the holding pods and decides to help her escape.

After teleporting Hannah away back to Earth, Groot remains behind and destroys the teleportation pad, presumably cutting the flora colossus off from earth, and he is banished by his elders. Groot then wanders the universe for a while, taking in all its wonders and sights, before being thrown in a kree prison where he meets Rocket for the first time. Rocket can’t understand Groot at first, but over the course of months sharing a cell with him, does. After this the two form a fast friendship and break out of prison, becoming bounty hunters/criminals and eventually joining the Guardians.

Groot vol.2 (2023)

One of the most recent and drastically different origins presented in the comics so far.

In this miniseries, Planet-X is a lush forest covered planet and the flora colossus, unlike the other comic origins, are a benevolent and peaceful race of sentient plants ruled over by a giant matriarch tree called Granopy. She looks after and tells stories to a child groot and his two friends Tweeg and Gleef.

One day their forest gets burnt by a gang of mercenaries known as The Spoilers, led by an evil Flora colossus named Agz, and the three get kidnapped. But are freed by a young Mar-vel. Together the four of them, along with an Alpha Centurion hunter called Yondar, fight against the Spoilers and save Planet X. As of writing this, the Grootfall/grootrise arc, which references this miniseries, has only just wrapped up. So It’s not clear if this story is supposed to be a prequel to the 2015 Groot origin or if it’s a full on retcon of it. (Im gonna assume the latter, given how different Flora Colossai are in this compared to the previous origins. Unless Flora Collossus society/planet X as a whole really went down hill after Groot grew up, somehow going from the peaceful forest utopia we see in vol. 2 to the desolate wasteland ruled by an evil king groot in tales to astonish/groot number 6 but I digress) so it’s up in the air for now if/how they connect to each-other…

Origins in other media

As a Marvel multi-media franchise, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and by extension Groot, have had a number of different adaptations and interpretations across various non-comic book mediums including movies, games, tv shows etc. so let’s take a look at four of the most famous ones.

MCU

Weirdly enough, despite this version of Groot (and his son Groot ii aka baby groot) being the most widely known by general audiences thanks to the popularity of the MCU, MCU Groot is the most mysterious when it comes to his origin story. We never get any implications or mentions of it in the entire gotg franchise (outside of a mention of Planet X in the nova police lineup scene in vol.1). The closest we get is an idea James Gunn had planned for a short film about how Groot and Rocket met and a few very brief mentions about it in interviews. In the tweet about the short film idea, James explains Groot was caged up at an intergalactic zoo housing exotic alien creatures and was treated like an animal. Until a worker at the zoo, a robot/cyborg named Tibus Lark, became attached to Groot and helped him escape, becoming his closest friend. Until they found themselves in a hole/prison where Lark and groot would meet Rocket. Being mortally injured, Tibus would explain his and Groot’s story to Rocket before entrusting Groot with Rocket and dying. Rocket would then use the robotic parts of Lark’s body to build his big gun seen in the first gotg and break out of the pit with Groot. Beginning their criminal partnership and (dysfunctional) friendship.

Gotg Disney XD cartoon season 1

In the Disney XD cartoon, Groot grew up on an idyllic and serene Planet X ruled by his father(?), both coming from a long line of flora colossus spanning billions of years who, along with all life on Planet X, all grew from an object known as the world pod. A source of power that exists within groot. Shortly after a day of battle training with his father, the Kree and their leader Ronan invade the planet to mine it of its resources. Dispute the protest of its natives, the planet is burnt to ashes, leaving groot the lone survivor. He’s then taken by the kree and experimented on, along with other kidnapped Earth animals. This is where he meets a newly anthro-ified Rocket, and the two break out together and eventually join the guardians.

Gotg Telltale Game

Like the MCU version, we unfortunately don’t get a look into his backstory, but what we do know from the alternate story path where Rocket stays with Quill and Groot goes with Mantis when the team break up is he is the last of his kind and empathises with mantis greatly because of it.

Gotg Eidos Game

Through conversations with Groot (with Rocket, and later in the game Mantis, translating for Quill), and a few parts of rocket’s conversations, we learn that Groot’s father was the king of Taluhnia (the original native name of Planet X) as well as the other branch worlds. Groot himself wanted to be a forest caretaker so he could care for the plants of Taluhina. In contrast, his father and the arbor masters were corrupt and favoured the needs of the few over the many, and enslaved the sapient animals on Taluhnia. With some saplings even hurting these mammals for fun. Groot however, preferred thier company over the others of his kind due to how nice and smart they were, comparing them to rocket in his convo with Quill and Mantis.

Unfortunately, however, they along with the rest of Taluhnia, would perish after the Chitari would test an experimental doomsday device on the planet. After the planets destruction, the other branch worlds would mobilise an attack, but they were no match for the Chitari and were destroyed as well. Fortunately, groot was able to regrow himself into a smaller sapling form. Making him, as far as he knows, the only survivor. In his smaller form, he would eventually be sold to the collector, but would later be stolen by rocket who raided the whole place while drunk. It’s kind of a mix of the maintenance mammal stuff from the gotg issue 14 story and the general flora Collossus are corrupt stuff from that and groot issue 6, with the alien race wipe out the flora colossus part from the cartoon (though swapping out the Kree for the Chitari this time).

…And that’s it for the most famous Groot origins! Again, this doesn’t include every incarnation of Groot ever, but I think I covered my bases with the most notable continuities. Maybe I’ll have a go at writing my own take on the origin at some point, but for now, I just hope you all enjoyed learning about Groot’s different pasts as much as I did researching them…

Also let me know if there are other, more obscure versions of Groot and his backstory I missed here. I’m always down to learning more Groot lore.