#colon prep

[chronically-izzzzle]

Hello Colon prep my old friiiend! About time to do my (what seems to be yearly colonoscopy).

But it’s been bumped to one every 5 years…. But since my GI tract is trash they want me to do a friggin 2 day purge 2 months before my colonoscopy so basically I get to do 2 colon preps. Which is the worst part of these procedures. I hate this stuff soooooooooo much. Not the results of drinking it, just drinking it. Ugggh it tastes like pool water, I HATTTTTE IT.

Loving the IBS lyyyyfe /sobs

[your-subby-creature]

I FINISHED THE ENTIRE SLIDE DECK AND ITS ONLY MIDNIGHT LETS FUCKIN GOOO

[charlottesweetly]

I bet this is exactly how the apotheosis felt like tbh

[reddinggastroocare]

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[in-sightjournal]

Ask A Genius 1117: A Colonoscopy for a Mr. Rosner

Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What happened with your colonoscopy? Rick Rosner: Well, for those who don’t know, a colonoscopy is a procedure where, once you hit a certain age, doctors stick a camera up your butthole to look inside your colon and remove any polyps that have developed. Polyps aren’t cancerous, but if you don’t take them out, they could turn cancerous. Jacobsen: Right, and you have to…

[softceleste]

God, my social problems class is gonna be ROUGH.

[sugurizz]

(Smut/ NSFW +18 - minors DNI !)

Nanami always keeps clear boundaries with his subordinates. He's a highly professional man who never crosses a line when it comes to mutual respect with everyone around him.

It's almost admirable in your eyes..How efficient he is, how perfectly he executes every task of his job. only does he seem different at times...

You're just so thoughtful it almost annoys him. You've already picked up on each and every one of his little habits; the way he likes his coffee, exactly when he takes his coffee breaks, where he usually hangs his freshly ironed jackets, where each piece of paperwork is kept in his office...

...Might be the old age but it makes him feel things when you knock on his door, when you greet him with the "Morning, Nanami-san, I sorted the documents from yesterday for you", or when you get his jacket for him without him even asking, with a sweet "Nanami-san, please don't forget your umbrella tomorrow, it's going to be rainy."

You're the only one who's allowed to adjust his tie when it's a bit loose, the only one allowed to lay your hands on his chest and fix his collar -breathing in the scent of his colone along the way-, the only one igniting his primal desire despite his exhausting life.

Might be the old age but he certainly wishes he could get this kind of treatment at home as well. He's rather lonely, overworked and tired whenever he gets back to his empty apartment..

Wouldn't it be better if you were the one to bake his fresh bread and prepare his delicious sandwiches for him? Give him a kiss before he heads to work and send him pictures of your legs spread with one of his designer ties barely covering your pussy?

Wouldn't it be so much better if he came back to strip you naked and take a steamy shower with you? push you on his king-sized bed to devour your sex, then have you all prepped and pretty to take his cock?

He'd be so happy with any of that, so happy he's now stroking himself and fondling his balls, trying his best to picture the way your tits pressed on his chest in the cramped elevator yesterday.

He knew your birthday was coming up but you never thought he'd even remember something so seemingly 'irrelevant' to him. So you didn't expect to find a luxurious box delievered to your doorstep, with a handwritten wishcard that had a familiar scent to it.

A note saying "wear them with your black heels, it'd look perfect" was inside the box, signed with a beautiful -Kento- on the corner...

---

"Nanami-san, your morning coffee." You greeted him with a smile the next day, leaning down as you gently posed the cup next to him.

"Nanami-san, I'm wearing your gift for my birthday. And the fabric feels so soft on me..."

a large hand pulled you back by the arm as you were about to walk off..

"Don't go there, sweet cheeks. you know I'll ruin you.."

"Then ruin me, Kento..."

I'll be at my desk if you ever need me."

You closed the door behind you, flashing him an innocent smile on the way...

---

Nanami san was missing at work that evening, secretary y/n was not there either. But thankfully your coworkers didn't know the reason behind your absence..

Nanami is busy training your throat in his spacious apartment. Your ass is on the cold floor tiles, body stripped to the lacy lingerie he bought you, caged between the wall and his lower half as he goes balls deep in your throat.

His tie is leashed around your neck with his leg pushing between your thighs, the tip of his expensive leather shoe bumping against your tiny clit.

"How much did this pussy think of me, hmm? does she like my shoe kissing her? playing with her?"

His leg presses harder, your eyes cross in pleasure as you suffocate on his veiny length..

"Look down princess, she's dirtying herself, drooling on my shoe.."

he frees himself from your mouth, leaving you with a drooly tongue and snotty nose as you shiver under him.

"Nanami..my pussy wants you, put it in her..please!"

"Nasty minx." He flicks his tongue with a grin, tears his shirt open to reveal his broad shoulders and toned chest, then tirelessly lifts you on his biceps.

"Aww...I want her too, princess.."

he kisses you senseless, giving himself a few pumps before he splits you open.

He's fevereshly rammimg inside you..golden strands sticking to his sweaty forehead, blushy cheeks blooming and hazel eyes almost teary as he finally feeds the hunger for you..

"Y/n...I need a wife! I want you-fuck-" you hug on him tighter, pussy clenching at the way he growls it against your lips... he paints your stomach white, his embrace deliciously crushing your body.

---

...A few days later the rumors started circulating among the coworkers; Both y/n and Nanami suddenly started wearing rings around the same time, and Nanami's office door started getting double locked, too often...

[transgenderpolls]

today i've been doing the colon prep for my bottom surgery tomorrow... NOT fucking fun

[thatneoncrisis]

are you comfortable sharing fic/nonfiction you’ve read for some of your fics? I remember you talking about dune for the john&harrow role swap fic

heres some of the books ive been sniffing at. mostly for preparing to work on orginal fiction. not for the purposes of reading fanfic i just like to read. but inspiration followed. or i heard about it after id started writing abs tge stiry mutated WHATEVER

dune

lolita

hans christian anderson/grimms brother fairy tales

journey to the west

carmilla

never whistle at night

stone butch blues

hijab butch blues

the last unicorn

earthsea

we have always lived in the castle

a pdf i found of quim issue #5, dyke magazine from i believe the london area. unironically i like it for the articles

i definitely need to add more nonfiction/actual research material to this. my primary focus is things written about fables/fairytales/ ect from north and east africa, the culture of morocco and egypt and ethiopia, something to get me more familiar with muslims, the lives of russian immigrants in the us during the 80s-late 2000s, how monarchy works in different parts of africa, anything i can learn about the kingdom of aksum, peoples history of the west indies, up to date information about intersex diagnosisand experiences, being butch/gender non-conforming and muslim, animals in different regions of africa.

whenever i do Research for fics uuh reading doesnt actually help!

more complexly put, the only Book i have to read to write the locked tomb fic is. the locked tomb. that tells me everything about the vibe and setting, all else that follows is based on media ive already read and like. the RESEARCH part is more me digging through online articles, videos and little snippets of the thing i want to learn about. i want to have harrow buy gideon a candy basket? i go online and google candy stores that deliver in the new Zealand area where they generally live. i want vampire cythera to talk about her relationship with loveday? i gotta dig though old historical accounts and summaries of maori relations with the first European colonizers that arrived in the late 18th century- what jobs were maori doing, specifically women, what taboo did they have about same sex relations if any, how common was missionary work at the time would a maori woman be convinced to follow the church. i want to write a fic where harrows in college, i dig through websites for universities with medical degrees in the area, how long do they take, what classwork would she have, how big is campus, can she avoid a freshman dorm. i want to write gideon at her moms funeral i fucking DIG UP a nz tv show about a maori owned and run funeral home and look for an episode focusing on tangihangas so i can accurately describe the proceedings and location

tldr prepping for a fic is completely different from prepping to write a book so the process of research should differ, and hopefully be more thorough because you actually edit a book and hope people will pay money to read it

[fyeahygocardart]

Follow-up

Thanks to everyone that sent in requests (for those posting cards that just are about to get released in ALIN, will do so when they do arrive to the TCG), will get working on them in the Queue later today.

All good with the procedure thankfully, many thanks for the well-wishes from people; here's my doctor-plug of the day, please please get your routine colonoscopies when you're supposed to or if your doctor requests it. Yes, the prep is unpleasant but a day and a half of liquid diet and prep is far better than missing a preventable colon cancer (unfortunately, have personally seen far too many patients, even fairly young patients, be worried about colonscopies and then have some terrible outcome when they do finally have it done).

Okay, enough preaching on that. Hope you all have a good rest of your day and enjoy the SUDA post later on (still deciding what and aiming to get a couple packs later on...come on, Evil Neos).

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

a rara avis Cinder pic and update - she hatez 2 b fotographed but as we rote - so glad 2 c me she forgot to be mad - we mostly missed caturday frog friday and all of thursday

and

maybe even poetry -tho if ur squeamish ( i am actually but this wuz my reality ) or only follow casually - you might wanna scroll on and stroll on like a yardbird to the next post on ur dash

so imma facing mortality - and so far still here and now - and really - wtf do we have but now

on with the ( horror ) show - witch must go on u no - cuz the Bard say its a stage

voluminous bloody diarrhea - we will hereafter refer to as vbd -cuz

(ok i warned u - it gets worser so again - feel free to skip the rest - really - we wont bee offended )

but 1st a reminder that here and now - t iz at home w his wife and kitty - good and always - waiting for murder and birdsong and the usual usual...

and like blanche we get by w the kindness of strangers on this streetcar

the vbd started in the middle of the nite train - bout 230 am thursday - woke up and in the dark the 1st bout and we thinks - oh no not another bout of colitis not knowing about the b (ignorance is bliss) - head back 2 bed and then have to - this time i have the light on - and see b on the floor that dripped - and another episode of vbd this time knowing - i call out loudly for unpoet to waken - after this it abates - we try to plan - and another vbd - 911 time - and the kindness begins w the operator then the ambulance crew - in the ER vbd actually gets worse - sitting on a commode w no privacy - it abates a bit - they put ports in each arm cuz we gonna need them - on the way to a ct scan i get 2 use an actual bathroom i am at the sink washing my hands and the vbd gushes down my legs - theres door knock - i say just a minnit trynna get the terror down - unlock the door and jest standing there - an ER doc comes in trynna calm me - as the panic subside he gently cleans me - not waiting 4 a nurse - eventually we get thru this and ct - a hospital room - a commode in view of many hospital workers - iv fluids waiting for b to get a transfusion - 2 pints of b hooked up to machines its hard 2 navigate from bed to commode - and wiping is impossible - a stranger wiping my bloody ass - and this happens over and over - with different strangers - all being kind and gentle as can b - and we begin the prep for a colonoscopy - under the best of circumstances - awful - and increases the frequency - i am told the bleeding part usually abates on its own before the colonoscopy even starts - anyway thats the next couple or three hours and then to ICU - i see u is right - in plain view and more kindness - we tell head nurse we are getting used 2 the total lack of dignity the b abates but the frequency - of the v and d increases cuz of the prep

flashbacks - 1 -the last hospital stay - a heart attack - the staff was not as kind and been terror fried of dying in a hospital ever since - and 2 - a friend in similar circumstance posting vid defiantly dancing in her hospital gown

fuck u death not today

anyway - we knew before we had diverticulitis - has not caused a prob in 10 years - and the likely culprit - but since bleeding stopped no intervention or anything to b done

sum releaf cuz no signs of cancer but told having 1 episode increases chances of 2nd and if there is a 3rd will have 2 remove part of colon

dinner is ice chips tho a few hours later some jello - nurse telling me they avoided the strawberry cuz of color laffing

anyway hooked to machines - peeing in a bottle - we spend the night in eye see u

about midnight a night nurse comes in 2 do something - dont remember what - he asks if theres anything we want - "a hamburger would b nice " laff - "with fries" he asks and offers tea - we have tv on as distraction tho only managed to follow 1 show

we dont sleep well in hotel rooms usually even nice one - the exception being one by the ocean close enough to hear waves break in the night quiet - and icu is anything but quiet - machines beeping mostly - the sound of automatic blood pressure monitor every 15 minutes at 1st then hourly - both arms are hooked up to something - and finger sticks and blood draws on the side - exhausted and hungry we manage to sleep 15 minutes a few times

ok we rap it up - morning - jello and liquid nourishment drink am promised some "real " food " 4 lunch - broth and yogurt and another nutrition drink

jest b4 dinner - chicken soup and pudding - am moved to a regular room - w an actual bathroom w a door - a small portable monitor hooked up - with someone wheeling in blood pressure / respiratory monitor every few hours - and blood draws about every 4 and the long night goes on - at about 4 am look out window behind me and there is the moon - we posted the foto

after a reel bfast - eggs and biscuit - oatmeal - yogurt we have a "normal" ie no b ( yay ) -poop - augers well for being released

and here and now we r home

weak af and trepidation verging on terror of another

so in the hospital - everything is the brutal efficient overkill that is modern medicine but we aint gonna critique that today

happy 2 b home - unpoet and kitty - more kind messages than can respond 2 - but trying - sorry if we havent at least thanked u

hoping for some birdsong and sunshine onnna gospel sunday

"i know a place - aint nobody crying " sing it sister Mavis

can i get a hallelujah anyway

[daerwen]

A coral and fish nursery on Schkepi, prepping and growing organisms for space travel, as these will be shipped out to terraforming colonies throughout the colonized space.

Nyn'thian is on her way with a clipboard to explain a new mini ecosystem she's been planning, with Haixiao waiting by one of the nursery's smaller tanks. Hanging above the tank are instructions on Dhoulak care and life cycles, some species of algae, and a collaboration of kids' drawings sent in from local schools.

Showcasing:

Two female Avialyx

Common Dhoulak (Fish)

A species of Ciralith (Smaller fish)

Various "algae" species

Various "coral" species

[sepublic]

Palismen as Mutualism

For Hunter, abandoning his magitech staff in favor of Flapjack isn’t just about finding agency outside of Belos, and it’s not just about having an actual friend. Likewise, training wands do exist, but for Luz in Adventures in the Elements it’s emphasized that she needs to figure out the glyphs anyway, and eventually she can get her staff.

There’s practical Ups and Downs to the glyphs, such as being able to draw them even if you’re missing a staff, likewise staffs can cast magic with far less prep time. But I think the emphasis on Palismen is about cultivating a relationship with the land and people around you; Luz and Hunter can’t have magic without maintaining a relationship with someone else.

Magic is a gift from the Titan, that’s what Luz understands in Adventures in the Elements when she figures out glyphs, it’s what Eda’s trying to understand by shoving moss up her nose, because of what wild witches wrote. Even when Glyphs can be learned from others, witches still commune at the Knee to understand this. And with Palismen, we see that they’re highly intelligent beings, smarter than any animal in real life, if not sapient beings themselves; Owlbert can hold a conversation with Eda, lie on the spot to cover for Luz, gamble with her, etc. Then we have the Bat Queen as further evidence.

Palismen have autonomy, they choose whether to stay or not; Escape of the Palisman goes into these and the aforementioned details, many Palismen leave their witches if they feel mistreated. In Really Small Problems Owlbert is able to go off and have fun for himself, and is allowed to be distracted even when Eda needs him; There is no punishment towards Owlbert for exercising autonomy, and what Eda does should be the standard based on the Bat Queen’s trust.

Perhaps more ‘modern’ witches don’t lend the same freedom, but this is undoubtedly influenced by the culture of the coven regime and its insistence on ‘taming’ wildness. Palismen also don’t respond or awaken, even if carved, until a witch can perform some level of self-examination for them.

Glyphs come from understanding the Titan, and being able to do everything a witch can involves having a Palisman, and those come from the Titan via Palistrom trees that naturally grow. There are Animistic ideas about aspects of the environment having a life of their own, thus they deserve a respect of their own. For Luz, she’s a human coming after Belos, who’s committed colonization and genocide on this world; Hunter is his nephew and human-adjacent enough, struggling with a colonial heritage.

So to truly idealize as witches, they need to cultivate a mutual relationship with the Boiling Isles and its life, that’s why glyphs and Palismen are relevant, that’s why Eda doesn’t settle with a training wand for Luz; She wants Luz to really understand and appreciate the wild nature of magic, or else she could become like Lilith or many who joined the coven, esp in contrast to Belos.

Belos’ magitech staffs demonstrate his industrialism and refusal to cultivate a sustainable relationship with the land, as does his Palismen consumption. Him devouring Palismen is horrific because they’re sapient innocents, and because they’re all taken from loving witches who were either murdered or assimilated, it’s systemic genocide.

And we learn how Palistrom trees are being depleted, and when Hunter suggests a sustainable way to grow Palistrom wood, Belos is furious at the idea. He has no respect for this world and wants it dead, while wanting it to serve him in his entitlement and colonial fantasy.

In particular, Belos’ Palismen consumption leads directly to his curse, which worsens to a point that he needs to possess hosts and devour them from the inside to survive. His parasitic relationship with a natural resource causes him to become a literal parasite. He chooses to devour wantonly and after centuries is finally doomed to only being able to do that, centuries after he should’ve been dead and lacking any choices anyway.

Why must other lives be cut short to extend his life beyond reason, a life that continues to only be destructive? The protagonists could never keep Belos alive if it meant sacrificing innocents, and he gets to a point where he still deteriorates even while using hosts, emerging from Raine in a worse state than he started off in.

Likewise, we don’t know much of the training wand, but it is wielded by Amity, who is the daughter of Blight Industries and its arms manufacturing; It ends up siding with Belos and playing a factor into his genocide, esp during the Day of Unity. Odalia is CEO and her capitalist tendencies are not a coincidence, given the criticism of capitalism as being unsustainable in its pursuit of infinite growth, without questioning where all that growth will somehow keep coming from when the laws of equivalent exchange still exist.

This ‘independent’ form of magic via machines is flawed, because it doesn’t hearken back to the literal and figurative roots of magic itself, or the natural resources it inevitably still pulls from. It’s not anymore ‘advanced’ if not beholden to working with the culture or the land so every party can thrive. It’s not beholden to the people and animals, it’s just destructive in the long run without respect.

But technology isn’t inherently bad or unsustainable either; Alador is the true inventor of Blight Industries and uses his machines to help undo the damage of the coven bindings, and heal the isles alongside his fellow wild witches as a newly-anointed one. He decides he cares about the harm being done by Blight Industries and can still practice his inventions.

Caleb started off as a settler, but his story shows how white people are just as capable —and thus responsible— as the locals in coexisting with a new place, after learning from said local and choosing her over colonial teachings; Celtic pagans exist and seem to be an inspiration for TOH, and the Celts were often white because you guessed it!

White people have also been indigenous, at least at one point in time, they can also have the same relationship with land that PoC do, and it’s not some innate trait exclusive to brown people (which is a racist trope). It’s learned, not “in the DNA.” There’s no excuse not to, you just have to want to learn and open your mind.

Caleb and Evelyn have a mutual relationship that results in a child, who results in the Clawthornes and their own relationship with the isles, esp Dell and Eda. Caleb dies in the pose of the Titan, indicating he understood; At worst he’d only be a little confused, but still have the spirit, because Caleb clearly came from a place of good faith and would always keep improving because of that.

Hunter is a settler’s child and didn’t choose to come here or serve his uncle, but he decides when he’s free and with agency that he wants to continue engaging with this world; So Hunter can choose to give back to this world what his forebearer took. And he works with Dell to do this, who is Caleb’s descendant. Caleb’s woodcarving may have contributed to the Clawthorne tradition of Palisman carving after Flapjack liberated both him and Hunter, they gave back to this world and it comes full circle.

Hunter works with Dell and the Bat Queen to regrow Palistrom and then carve Palismen; He loves a witch who can help grow Palistrom, make the land itself teem with life; Perhaps not coincidentally, Willow’s magic is deemed worthless by the aforementioned Odalia, and the coven system finds Abominations more profitable, likely in the service of how Blight Industries (and later Belos) uses them; By contrast, Amity and Darius wield a more fluid technique and reject this, with Amity having thrived around Willow more and making amends.

For Luz, it’s not enough whether she can practically perform magic via the wand, she needs to understand and respect her host culture. When Eda says Luz needs to earn her staff, it’s less about work for its sake, and more about proving she can respect the rituals and ways of a culture that Luz wants to become a part of, by doing what the locals also do.

Luz needs to prove she can be accepted by her hosts as one of their own, like how she proves to the Titan she is someone he can trust to wield his magic. Luz has to be her own kind of witch against what the coven deems, and because there are some parts of the process she simply can’t do; But she also has to be true to the spirit of the practice… And this culminated in literally embodying the spirit of the Titan.

Palismen as a practice require reflection, and then constantly maintaining that respect and relationship to another being in order to keep using magic. It’s a way of accountability to the Boiling Isles they’re born from and represent, a way to continue repaying the gift of magic that one keeps using. It’s a mutual relationship, it’s sustainability, it’s remembering to give back to the environment so it can keep growing.

Hence, Luz learning to respect Palismen via Owlbert, learning to speak to the Titan like the witches before her. Glyphs are learned from the Titan, and witches can then pass down that magic to others themselves if they choose to, after being convinced to. Some may be insincere and abuse that trust, but this is outweighed by the many friends of Luz’s who benefit and use it for good; Luz still has the right to distribute this knowledge and it’s why the Titan gave it to her then, and affirms it later with his spirit. And even after the Titan’s death and the loss of glyphs, they’re continued anyway via his son King, who shows them to Luz and Eda, witches that learned to respect him and his father.

The fascination in a world goes both ways; The Demon Realm does not exist for human consumption, its people are also very interested in humanity themselves. Eda’s business, Gus founding the HAS, Vee finding her home; Witches and demons have a lot to learn from us, just as we have a lot to learn from them. Luz got her time in the isles, so Thanks to Them was about her friends getting the same with her home after hosting Luz. Camila repays their hospitality to her daughter with her own, and Gus leaves deeply satisfied from the experience.

There’s now a Boiling Isles exchange program, so humans visit the demon realm but vice-versa occurs. So it’s not so simple as humans being settlers again, they give something back to the natives who get to enjoy their world too. Maybe even take each other’s places, as Vee and Luz inadvertently did! With Vee becoming a Noceda.

Sustainability is a theme in The Owl House, with the endangerment of species such as the Selkidomus, the Galdorstones becoming rare artifacts, the depletion of Palistrom, and the extinction of Glyph magic are all things that are combatted; Luz and Eda save the Selkidomus that thrives in the epilogue, Gus and Mattholomule work with the guardian of the Looking Glass Ruins, Dell helps plant more Palistrom with the Bat Queen, and King gifts a new generation of glyphs.

The Archivists and Titan Trappers committed genocide, with the Archivists having the gall to claim to want to keep mortals alive, yet it’s a faux-sustainability where they destroy those who refuse, and their archived existence is hardly a life in and of itself; Instead, it’s a passive existence where mortals exist for the Archivists’ purpose with nothing real in return. King remains as the last of his kind to bring back his people one Titan at a time, and it’s a wild witch like Eda, with her fondness for learning from nature and respecting Palismen, who is entrusted to raise him.

All of this ties into the themes of indigeneity, of sustainability, of appreciating the nature and world around you, of getting your head out of the clouds of fantasy to appreciate the people around you and their practical needs, and work with them too. Working with people, working with the environment, it’s the same idea of mutualism, supporting each other, etc. Be yourself AND be kind to others, they’re mutual not mutually exclusive.

Magic is life, magic is given and shared, it comes from the world around you to pay attention to, and give back to. It’s life and goes on even after death, like relationships and their impact on you. This is what TOH’s magic is, it represents the themes of its story.

[hn-undercover-9503]

btw because some ppl seem interested:

the basic idea for the Gigacorp AU was Ren is a Gigacorp colonist, living alone on a barren planet prepping it for colonization, when Martyn crash lands a Gigacorp ship (that may or may not have been stolen) on the planet after fighting back against an attempt to colonize his own planet

I literally only started fleshing this idea out today lol but there's lots of ideas for it bouncing around in my brain, and I already have a decently long outline planned out lmao

[quaranmine]

i did get a big jolt in this video when he says that he was at higher risk of lymphoma due to medication and having an autoimmune disease because i was like Oh. BUT WE HAVE THE SAME THING?

i can't believe just yesterday i was congratulating hank green on twitter for being in remission for ulcerative colitis and then just today i'm learning he has cancer :( universe cant give this guy a break i guess he just traded one thing for another sob😭

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Question if you can answer regarding sburb: Can carpacians play the game? Given how they were brought out of the medium at the end of the story can they now be viable candidates for the game or would they still be regarded as game constructs by the game. Would their method of interacting with things like the aspects or the denizens be different?

They cannot play the game! Sorry, that's probably not the answer you want to hear haha.

They are explicitly described as the "cogs of paradox space" and serve important functions both in and out of the medium - not only are they the primary NPCs of the game while it's being played, but they're instinctively drawn towards completing time loops for the players (see: WV instinctively knowing what to appearify and when), and also serve the important function of terraforming planets after the SBURB meteor apocalypse, prepping them for another go around.

Some of them, like the kings/queens and archagents, are designed to have the same base personalities and functions in every session, to be used by the players or to oppose them (you can see this in how the trolls actually teamed up with their Jack Noir to exile the BQ). Others, like AR, WV, and PM, are insignificant nobody carapacians that rose to prominence based on player actions. Shared across them are fairly singleminded, fixated personalities and an innate understanding of "the rules"... because they're NPCs and not meant to be more than that.

In Homestuck's grand metaphor of life, what the carapacians represent is explicitly described: they're the forces of creation and the forces of destruction, who must eventually be tamed by the players and brought into peace and harmony. This often means killing the most malignant forces of destruction, the BQ/BK, but I imagine that leading a contingent of carapacians and consorts into the new universe is fairly standard practice - after all, they're going to be the ones to build the first new settlements on the paradise planet (as seen by how they colonize post-Condy earth), and have important work to do setting up and maintaining new sessions of SBURB.

Plus, another thing that gets overlooked is that Homestuck is very Themes First, and the main overarching theme is that of coming-of-age - what it means to grow up and mature. As part of this theme, it tackles a gazillion things, like death, substance abuse, romantic/sexual awakenings, feminism and fascism, etc... but SBURB is ultimately a game not just about creating new universes, but about raising children into adults.

The carapacians are never shown to be children, or even to have a juvenile stage. In fact, shared across carapacians are simple personalities, singleminded obsessions, and fairly static character traits. WV survives nearly getting killed and immediately goes back to making Can Town, DD remains "cool" and "suave" and w/e even when on a fairly time sensitive mission to Red Miles the alpha kids, Jack is always a cantankerous and stabby asshole, etc. PM is the sole exception, driven into a corner by circumstance, but I bet that she happily went back to being a mailman after the game was won and her duties to serve as interim WQ were over.

They're disqualified from playing the game because they don't have coming-of-ages - and indeed, might not even be able to. They're all initially born fully-fledged (it's stated that the game world is created in the moment the game is played, and then retroactively has always existed, meaning the archagents et. al. are all genuinely just created Like That), whatever their reproductive system is seems to skip a juvenile stage entirely (there aren't any "child" carapacians in Roxy's colony), and their personalities are fairly fixed and immutable, and in universe, most of them genuinely don't even speak.

Like, they're not really characters the same way as any of the kids or trolls. They're literally designed from the ground up to be NPCs - not necessarily unimportant, but never the thematic focus. Even the exile intermissions revolve around not the carapacians changing and growing, but them performing important bridging actions to support the actual players of the game.

In fact, one of the most interesting uses of a carapacian in the story is WV during the meteor, where he's used as a narrative tool to show how BAD the kids are doing, emotionally. "Being really attached to the Mayor" becomes shorthand for "doing a terrible job at self-actualizing." Because WV doesn't talk (and therefore, doesn't judge), characters on the meteor use him as a surrogate adult or friend in order to avoid actually dealing with their loneliness or sadness.

As Kanaya says, he's charming and delightful... but that's all there is to say about that, and the fact that Rose has drank herself so stupid that she's spending all day helping him organize Can Town is a sign of how far she's fallen.

Meanwhile, the line that gets drawn under Dave's utterly disastrous belly of the whale moment - where he goes from cry-laughing mourning his lost childhood whimsy, to having a verbal slugfest with Grimbark!Jade where he explicitly gives up fighting LE, is that of saving the Mayor and showering him with kisses and promises that everything will be alright. And in the "canon" ending - one that was deliberately written to be as unsatisfying as possible, as a dare to the audience to question and refute the narrator - Karkat, who in that ending explicitly says he never figured out his arc and never got over his insecurities about being weak - gets in on the Mayor action, too. DaveKat is only canon in that setting in that it's a weird throuple with the Mayor, because his presence there is shorthand for "this is bad, actually".

These kids are grieving their lost friends/family, and grappling with their emotional problems (and failing); as a result, they're latching onto a character who literally doesn't talk, because it's easier to distract themselves with his silly simplemindedness than deal with their actual feelings. If they were doing well, then they wouldn't feel the need to hang out and bond so much with a character who, again, literally doesn't even talk and is just singlemindedly obsessed with building a town made out of cans.

Like, please don't take any of this to mean that I'm saying the carapacians are unimportant, or that I dislike them, or that they don't need to be in the story - per the WV example, they're actually very important, and per their role both in and out of the game, the things they're instinctively driven to do, they're also insanely important. It's just that their function, both in- and out-of-universe, can never fulfil what SBURB needs out of its players. If SBURB could self-pollinate - which is what having a carapacian/consort session would functionally be - why doesn't it? So you have to assume having dynamic, external influences is some vital part of the universe's reproductive system, diegetically. And non-diegetically, SBURB is a metaphor for adolescence, something that carapacians don't even seem to experience.

So... yeah.