#cognizant classic

[untilthenexttee]

Next Tee News - March 5th, 2024

Before a new week begins – even though technically it has – let’s reflect on the week of golf that was. A “Cowboy” wins the Honda Classic Cognizant Classic, Green wins in Singapore, the reality is I totally forgot about LIV Golf having a team winner but Joaco backs up his Masters invite, and last but not least. The kids are alright in Myrtle Beach. Until The Next Tee!! #fightandgrind…

[bmpmp3]

no game trying to do some kind of metatexual morality thing making the player feel culpable for their actions by giving them the option to be nice or kill everyone has made me feel anywhere near how guilty and sick to my stomach Drakengard made me feel when you blast a bunch of enemies on the ground into nothing with Angelus. and it wasn't even About That

[makingspiritualityreal]

Planets in Houses Areas of Interest in Astrology

In my studies, I have encountered an extremely detailed and accurate list coming from classic Vedic text, representing what will concern each planet in a given house.

Note, that certain planets perform fundamentally better in certain houses, but the general state of the house affairs will depend on the condition and aspects of the planet. I will give an example of how to interpret a planet below the list.

Note, that Rahu and Ketu are missing, because their results are calculated according to their dispositor.

Sun

1st House Sun Body, Personality, Health

2nd House Sun Intelligence about Maintaining Wealth

3rd House Sun Intelligent Use and Consistency of Skills

4th House Sun Palaces, One's Kingdom

5th House Sun Leadership, Nobility, Esteem

6th House Sun Government Services

7th House Sun Egotism of Spouse or Partner, Partner's Consistency

8th House Sun Vitality, Energy Levels

9th House Sun Father

10th House Sun Government, Activity, Status, Power, Father's Influence

11th House Sun Titles, Certificates

12th House Sun Temples, Places of Worship

Moon

1st House Moon Body, Ego

2nd House Moon Face, Sense Organs, Contentment

3rd House Moon Music, Rhythmic Ability

4th House Moon Mother, Foundation of Feelings

5th House Moon Imagination, Ability to Improve One's Consciousness

6th House Moon Development of Body, Physical Maturation

7th House Moon Popularity, Public Relations

8th House Moon Change, Adaptability

9th House Moon Father's Popularity and Character

10th House Moon Popularity

11th House Moon Popularity in Groups or Organizations

12th House Moon Dreams, Inner Worlds

Mars

1st House Mars Character, Sense of Right and Wrong

2nd House Mars Mineral Wealth

3rd House Mars Siblings, Peers, Bravery, Training

4th House Mars Land, Houses, Property, Mother

5th House Mars Convictions, Strength of Opinions

6th House Mars Accidents, Overcoming Enemies, Weapons

7th House Mars Challenges in Relationships

8th House Mars Surgery, Battles, War

9th House Mars Brother and Sister in Law, Moral Code

10th House Mars Command, Overseers

11th House Mars Character and Motivation of Group Dynamics

12th House Mars Results of Enemies Actions, Secret Enemies

Mercury

1st House Mercury Senses, Ability to Cognize Experiences

2nd House Mercury Speech, Friends

3rd House Mercury Travel, Discernment, Crafts, Communications, Games

4th House Mercury Relatives

5th House Mercury Speculative Investments, Mantra Practice

6th House Mercury Maternal Aunts and Uncles, Legal Matters

7th House Mercury Business Partners, Commerce and Trade

8th House Mercury Corporations, Occult Knowledge, Past Life Fortune

9th House Mercury Past Life Fortune, Judges, Codes of Conduct

10th House Mercury Employer, Apprenticeship, Capacity to Manage

11th House Mercury Playing the Game of Success

12th House Mercury Long Term Investments, Contemplative Knowledge, Purchasing Expenses, Gain of Lost Items

Jupiter

1st House Jupiter Optimism, Opportunities

2nd House Jupiter Wealth

3rd House Jupiter Spiritual Art, Written Wisdom

4th House Jupiter Happiness, Banks, Fruit Bearing Groves

5th House Jupiter Children, Father's Grandfather, Knowledge and Learning

6th House Jupiter Forgiveness

7th House Jupiter Husband, Wealth Partner Brings

8th House Jupiter Inheritance

9th House Jupiter Guru, Teacher, Ease of Fortune, Grand Children

10th House Jupiter Capacity to Manage

11th House Jupiter Income

12th House Jupiter Mother's Mother, Charity

Venus

1st House Venus Strength, Recuperative Ability

2nd House Venus Food, Jewelry Wealth

3rd House Venus Father in Law

4th House Venus Pools, Lakes, Vehicles

5th House Venus Romance, Affairs, Students

6th House Venus Nursing, Physical Succor

7th House Venus Wife, Mother's Mother

8th House Venus Conjugal Bond, Sex

9th House Venus Father

10th House Venus Mother in Law

11th House Venus Fair Distribution of Wealth

12th House Venus Nursing Homes, Mistress, Mother's Father, Vacations

Saturn

1st House Saturn Ability to Endure Hardship

2nd House Saturn Thriftiness, Wealth from Hard Work, Rock Quarries

3rd House Saturn Servants

4th House Saturn Pets

5th House Saturn Fall from Position

6th House Saturn Overcoming Debts and Diseases

7th House Saturn Appreciation of Relationships, Lack of Empathy

8th House Saturn Chronic Disease, Death, Flaws, Weaknesses, Liabilities

9th House Saturn Delays to Fortune, Delays to Creativity

10th House Saturn Duty

11th House Saturn Elder Siblings, Livestock

12th House Saturn Personal Expense, Loss, Capital Expense, Prisons, Imprisonment

Source for the List - Art and Science of Vedic Astrology Vol 2 Ryan Kurczak & Richard Fish. They themselves used original Vedic Resources for the list, I sourced their material for the sake of Vedic translation.

Interpretation example - I have Saturn in the 4th house and I've always had a good bond with pets since I was a child, they would just appear in my life. It seems natural to me, but in reality many people have allergies, don't own pets, their pets don't survive long, they don't share such a special bond with them or their family situation doesn't allow them one, parents forbid them. Not only did I always have a pet, they were also extremely long lived. As a child, I used to have a hamster that survived 5 years, when the average age of a syrian is up to 3, I had a cat that my mom got but the cat ended up loving me and lived 21 years, and when my cat died, my husband's pup yorkie decided that I'm the love of his life. The pets survive so long, because my Saturn is excellently placed in Aquarius with no bad aspects, so I get to have them and care for them to the point of them reaching the age of physical incontinence. Someone with a difficult, badly aspected Saturn in the 4th would have their own story, but nevertheless the placement would manifest as still having that intimate pet experience in their life.

Another example - I have Venus in the 3rd house and I live with my father in law. I never even met my mother in law, as she has no contact with my husband. Yet people with Venus in the 10th will have her as a prominent figure in their life in some capacity. So this list can show which area of your life will yield a physical manifestation in the first place.

This is how you should superimpose this list onto your chart, checking the individual condition of each planet. Note, that these interpretations are NOT applicable in the Navamsa chart, according to Vedic source.

You can also see from the list, that certain placements produce a particular struggle in one's chart, while other planets produce less problems. I will now make a short list of those troubled placements. Note, that I am not including statements about conditions of given planets, which can turn the mentioned events difficult even for a theoretically good scenario. I am only talking about the houses that give an unquestionable struggle. Interestingly enough, this list differs from the traditional Marana Karaka, and it seems to indicate that even out of most difficult placements, one can build something worthwhile. So I will focus only on placements that bring objective difficulty.

Sun

The Sun has its negative impact in the 7th house, where no matter what it produces egotism from one's spouse or partner. With this position, one basically gets partnerships in life with people that boss them around. But if in a good condition, the partner will be consistent, which I'm interpreting as faithful and committed to the relationship, not looking for outside adventure. So even the worst Sun position has some upside to it. The Sun is hard to mess up.

Moon

Even though traditionally the Moon is feared in the 8th house, here it indicates simply a life full of change and forcing one's ego to adapt, which can actually turn out smooth if the Moon is well placed. The most challenging placement for the Moon is actually the 1st house, where the Moon becomes extremely egoic. From my experience with these natives, it is very true, they struggle to mature and force being the center of attention and their ego blinds them. They are very devoted to their loved ones, but extremely self focused, more than any other 1st house planet on the list. So with Moon in the 1st house you are simply an unquestionable egoist.

Mars

Mars has several gray areas that we will touch on, mostly in Dusthanas. Mars produces results of accidents, weapons and surgeries in the 6th and 8th house, and these are the two most common placements I've seen in charts of doctors. These placements are however not the worst ones, because Mars here has the capacity to do battle where the fight takes it, by joining the army or working with the sick.

The most difficult Mars is in the 12th and 7th house. Mars in the 12th house people grow to always suffer long term from some ailment and that is a result of someone else hurting them. I've seen this in a chart of a person that got injured in their workplace in their mid-life and is still getting surgery for the consequences of it in their old age. More notably, we can see it in the chart of Britney Spears, who has various health issues as a result of accidents through difficult physical work she was forced into by others. This is a placement of physical victimhood from people, who stab the native in the back. My guess is, a strong Mars would endure more, but the event will still happen.

Mars in the 7th house is difficult, because these people always bicker in intimate relationships. They have a karma of constant fights with their partner, as they really try to subliminally achieve domination in a partnership, which is impossible because partnership is about equality and compromise. This placement makes it nigh impossible to achieve marital harmony, unless someone enjoys the fighting, and leads to frequent breakups or one's partner cheating. My mother had this placement, and my only memory of her and my father together is them fighting, and she died single.

Mercury

Mercury is a lucky planet, because it has no obvious pitfalls unless badly placed. Interestingly enough, even Mercury in the 12th house has the power to "purchase expenses", and if well placed, make gains from it. As I know a few Mercuries in the 12th house personally, let me decode this for you. People with this placement have a unique knack to purchase items or property of depreciating value and turn it around. My friend with this placement aspecting her Moon invested long term in buying my falling apart post-communist family inherited apartment and is making her home there, and she also has a fantastic knack of receiving thrifted clothes and tailoring them, a hobby we share. These natives have a talent of turning trash to treasure.

Jupiter

Unsurprisingly, there are no bad houses for Jupiter, as even in difficult houses it leads to forgiving one's enemies, being charitable, or receiving an inheritance.

Venus

Similarly to Jupiter, Venus soothes all houses unless afflicted. Venus is able to soothe physical suffering even in the difficult 6th house, or in a nursing home in the 12th. Interestingly enough, Venus in the 12th in a good sign points to the ability of being fulfilled in love even in the seemingly degrading position of being "the other woman" or as the list says, the mistress.

Saturn

Despite it being marana karaka, a well placed Saturn in the 1st gives endurance and is not the worst placement for it, and other houses such as 6th give it endurance to overcome obstacles too. The difficult position for Saturn is actually the 5th, where it shows decline of status or as the list states "fall from one's position". Saturn has a difficult time in most houses compared to other planets, as in the 7th it makes one lack empathy, which will lead to bad karma in the next life, even in the native blocks out the consciousness in this life, and in the 8th and 12th leads to various calamities. So even the strongest Saturn in these houses can simply endure these difficulties, and hope they pass.

[lilacs-echoing]

something I've been stewing on for a while now, but I need lotf fans to understand the book has some inherent racism like a lot of classics. and I feel like that's something we should be discussing more often.

of course the rampant nationalism is essential to the boys' characteristics. its part of what makes them shitty preteens. but the slurs and racist remarks that have been edited or removed in the book are part of the larger themes of savagery that are, ultimately, racist. I've discussed before some more nuanced takes like Jack's red hair connecting him to unsavory depictions of Jews/Irishmen, but there isn't much nuance to this. Lord of the Flies is a book that delves deeply into indigenous stereotypes. and when we discuss/depict this "descent into savagery" we all need to be a little more aware of that.

much love for this fandom but please be cognizant of this, especially if you're a younger fan. always be critical of the media you consume.

[artbyblastweave]

Years and years and years back, I was tinkering with a concept that, at the time, I hadn't seen done before, which was to do a Fables or Once Upon A Time-style mass-fairy-tale-retelling in a soft-sci-fi space opera/planetary romance setting. I remember a couple of overarching concepts. One was that the classic Fairy Tales being remixed with increasingly outlandish genres was an actual metaphysical conceit of the setting; the big bad was going to be King Arthur, who, due to his nature as the one who cyclically dies and returns, had become cognizant of all the times he'd lived through the same shitshow but with a wild west veneer or an urban-fantasy veneer or a mad-max veneer or a coffee-shop-AU veneer, and on this-go around, he'd decided to use the planet-shattering imperial might of space!camelot to attempt a suicide run against the entire universe in the hopes of deviating from the script strongly enough to break the cycle. (Note that all of this came from a place of total ignorance of Arthurian lore, which is in part why I never pulled the trigger on it- I felt I had reading to do.) The other character concept that stuck in my head was that there was this tertiary character who was the classic space-western gunslinger- constantly swooping in at the last minute to bail the heroes out, rugged and squinty-eyed, effortlessly laying waste to vastly superior opponents with nary a thought. Through context clues (such as his ability to fly in outer space under his own power) it was eventually going to be made clear that this was supposed to be the setting's version of Peter Pan. Prior to the Space Opera cycle, Neverland’s conceptual gravity as a place that fundamentally does not change allowed it to avoid being reset at the end of each cycle; Peter's cavalier attitude towards life and death was informed by the fact that no matter how many times Hook dies, no matter how many times the Darlings visited and departed, they'd always eventually come back, albeit with mannerisms informed by whatever conceit was currently dominating the rest of the universe outside Neverland. Unfortunately, for the space-opera cycle Hook showed up as the captain of a star-destroyer-type thing and unceremoniously glassed Neverland from orbit, ending the party for good. Peter then finally took the plunge into quote-unquote "adulthood" in order to adopt a vengeful-pursuer role- indeed, he stakes a lot of his present identity on the idea that he was finally "forced to grow up"- but it's of course obvious to anyone who gets remotely close to him that he's only become "more mature" in the way that the gratuitous blood-and-guts Liefeldian anti-heroes of the 90s positioned themselves as a mature alternative to the cornball antics of the silver age; all he's done is trade up to a slightly more involved Juvenile power fantasy, still equally divorced from adulthood even if he looks 35.

[catmomjudy]

There were lots of posts over Father’s Day about Buck and Bobby’s father/son relationship (with the 911onabc Instagram actually presenting them as father and son alongside the more traditional father/child relationships on the show).

Bobby has been pretty much acknowledged as Buck’s “Dad Who Stepped Up” in canon:

(GIFs: @neverevan, @kenneth-black) I collected this info for a reblog I did the other day, but I figured it was deserving of its own (expanded) post.

Up until 6x11, Buck and Bobby’s relationship was fairly accepted but never stated outright. Fans accepted it as part of the “family you choose” vibe of 9-1-1 (as stated outright by Eddie in 3x11). But many signs were pointed out (similar to the way fans point out hints in the relationship between Buck and Eddie):

The way Bobby gives Buck chance after chance, right from the start (1x01), going back and forth between compassion and “tough love”

The way Buck gets under Bobby’s skin—“I made you mad” as Coma-Buck says in 06x11—when he’s doing his best to keep everyone away (S1)

Bobby helping Buck learn to tie a tie (1x06)

The way Bobby jumps on a suicide bomber to save Buck (2x18)

Bobby’s extreme and emotional reactions during the lawsuit arc (S3a).

Et cetera, et cetera.

But what about Athena?

I often see “Athena being Buck’s mom” on lists of things that make people DNR a fic. And I get it: Some fics push it to the point of overt mush, and also tend to be the same fics that woobify Buck (who, as I’ve posted before, is a real, live Adult). And “mush” and Athena Grant don’t really jive.

But I think something “Athena is not Buck’s mom” complainants also forget is that Athena is BOBBY’S WIFE. And she seems to be fully cognizant of how Bobby feels about Buck. So, she quite often makes efforts to support and nurture that relationship.

And Athena rocks the step-mom vibe with Buck pretty well. It’s just more subtle (kind of like it was with Bobby until 6x11, as outlined above):

(Gif: @neverevan, @mattoidmeerkat)

7x03: Why Buck? Why does she specify “Buck” in this instant, if it’s not to imply “If your boy could see you now!”

3x14: This is one instance (I think the dumpster diving with Taylor in 4x11 is the other, and there may be more that I’m not remembering), but, just like with Bobby and Michael, Athena has that “Mom Radar” going and has a habit of catching Buck up to no good. And that look isn’t “Cop Face.” It’s classic “Mom Glare” with a side of “I’m Very Disappointed In You Young Man.”

(Gif: @mattoidmeerkat; Photo: Official still)

6x11: Athena is the only one other than Chris who gets to give a true speech to Coma Buck. The step-mom and the step-son.

2x10: Buck at family Christmas dinner at Athena’s house. And remember that Hen was/is Athena’s best female friend, so Hen and Karen being there isn’t necessarily related to the firehouse. So, Buck has been invited to his captain’s fiancée’s house for Christmas dinner with his captain’s fiancée’s family.

And there’s more!

In 3x04 (the Dinner from Hell), Athena is the one to invite Buck:

Bobby: I still can't believe that you invited him without talking to me first.

Athena: I just wanted him to know that no matter what, he's still family. Thought dinner would give you two time to work things out.

And in 3x10, Athena is the one who Buck calls about the Christmas party. He obviously felt comfortable enough with her at this point to do that:

Bobby: Athena, what are you doing here?

Athena: We came to save you. Someone said you were ordering takeout for Christmas dinner.

Buck: I did vote for turkey. ( Laughs )

(Dialogue from: https://tvshowtranscripts.ourboard.org/)

(Gif: @fireladybuckley)

It should also be obvious from the above gif that that extremely cute photo/gif of Buck from 3x10 that people like to post (and gush over) is Buck’s expression when he’s greeting ATHENA.

Also note that 3x10 is also the ep where Buck first outright stated his feelings for Bobby, so showing his comfort with Athena (and his bashfulness and happiness at being thanked and complimented by her) right next to this is quite telling.

(Gif: @mattoidmeerkat)

🤷🏻‍♀️

(Gif: @fireladybuckley)

[iatrophilosophos]

The other thing I'm thinking about this morning is the limitation of any one analytical lens and poor application of gender theory to interpersonal relationships.

Gonna frontload this post with the caveats that 1) this is about cafab relationships to transmisogyny, which i welcome discussion from anybody on but also recognize some ppl are just not invested in or interested in hearing, and thats fine 2) i am speaking from a place of good faith (classical def.) and assuming that we can take what people say about their intentions at face value and these topics are occurring within relationships with grace and legitimate desire to do right by eachother, even though this approach does not always work and is not an exhaustive or universal lens.

My friend said sumn last year that was really foundational for me--"there's always another explanation [for interpersonal instances of transmisogyny]". Meaning, transmisogyny is the sum of small and big events across a person's life, and for TMA people it doesn't really matter if a partner has hateful or "transmisogynistic" intentions behind an action that contributes to the structure. There's always a self-centered reason that has nothing to do with The Structure. My other friend has a line that I think also fits here, which is the idea that most people most of the time don't really have "rational" or cognizant motivations prior to action, just post hoc narrativization of why they did what they did. I don't know how much I agree, but I think it's an interesting lens to use to think about our past actions that can get useful results--how much of the story that I'm telling about this event got written after it, and how does that affect everything moving forward?

This stage setting brings us to a specific cohort that I've definitely been a part of and am working on distancing from: strong willed/bullheaded cafabs with significant personal needs and abrasive interpersonal tendencies. Being someone that only very aquiescing, self-sacrificing people can stand to be around means you're gonna benefit a lot interpersonally from transmisogyny, because trans women and especially young, vulnerable, and/or early transition women are gonna be a large % of the people you attract.

People in this cohort usually know it on some level IME and feel a lot of shame and anxiety around it. Transfem friends and partners will bring it up. We get one of the good ones type behaviors, compensatory hating and policing of other people, and white knighting; and we get various manifestations of definitional games that all fit into the "ontologically incapable of violence" header. Your classic uwuification of cafabs, but also misguidedly trying to find common ground and misconflating relationships to womanhood (talking abt how ppl treated you ten years ago doesn't paper over the thing You are doing Now), and getting into some really bizarre IME feminist ally dudebro shit that seems copypasted from 2012 cishet feminist ally lines (these are also??? Bad????)

All of this shit behavior can((see above caveat #2)) stem from being too lost in the sauce of structural analysis. I think the line that there's always another explanation has a corrolary: you can basically always, to varying levels of accuracy and usefulness, paint an interpersonal problem in the context of structural analysis. And this can be very useful, and it is mainly useful to people who are subject to that structural oppression to understand what is happening and why it feels bad. I see for my friends theory around transmisogyny often (but obviously not exclusively) function as a frame of understanding that says "it isn't your fault. No amount of personality modification will keep this from happening again. Time to take a different tract." This is very useful and good.*

However: this specific understanding of the function of transfeminist theory does not play the same for this cohort of cafab people, because behavioral modification IS the way to get better about shit and stop it from happening. In a lot of these circumstances WE have to understand explanations of transmisogyny as an explanation for why behaviors, attitudes and modes of interaction feel bad to our friends. Yet a third dear friend has a line in a piece of writing that I don't remember if is published or not that says, paraphrasing: "transmisogyny is not 'real', it is a concept we use to understand patterns and attitudes". The essence of a transmisogynist action or behavior or pattern that we exert towards our loved ones is only that it triggers a pattern and understanding of the world; not that it has a big red "GENDER CRIME" stamp on it somewhere.

If we want to throw off the benefits and privileges of being TME in the interpersonal sphere, we have to get fucking nicer to people. We have to yell less and listen more. We have to interrogate the ghosts of our loved ones that set up shop in our heads and challenge how they diverge from the evidence of the real people in front of us. We have to employ whatever dumbass therapyspeak tools let us be more thoughtful and intentional with how we treat eachother. We have to confront the anxiety that we are Problematic and not imbue metaphysical significance to the fact that we Hurt Someone, because that opens the door to us trying to fix it with yet more metaphysical action and not just going "oh, I need to work on the way I percieve your words because the way you express dissent doesn't immediately register to me and I've been steamrolling you for weeks. Shit, I'm sorry, can I ask some questions that will help me notice next time this comes up and react better?"

Finally I'm gonna end with this: transmisogyny as an understanding of lifetime patterns of experience is not One Thing that applies evenly to every TMA person. One of the biggest pieces of me landing on all this above is being frustrated about how everyone I know has a slightly different bar and I couldn't just "stop being transmisogynist", cuz different shit hurts different people. This is kinda my connecting thread to my earlier post about offensive jokes: once we hit the sphere of microaggressions and non-overt patterns and loved ones that want us to actually work on shit instead of divesting, there just isn't actually a prescriptive answer and we have to be familiar with the theory shorthands ppl around us are using, AND aware of how our personal tendencies and patterns of behavior fit into that theory, AND exercising curiosity and care to figure out what the tangible steps for people we love are.

*note that with all theory I do think that even this framing can get stretched to a point it is no longer accurate or useful to goals I think r worthwhile, but that's not my lane to talk about exhaustively.

[lovingperfectionsblog]

The Dreaded Question

Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader

Summary: The classic, would you love me if I was a worm?

Warnings: Drinking, mentions of death, mentions of the Devil and God, mentions of tentacle porn. 

Word Count: 1067

Author's note: A silly little drabble about a silly little scene based off of THE QUESTION :D. Forgive me for jumping onto this bandwagon.

______________________________________________________________

“Baby, before you go” Carlos called out to you from the lounge, a very heated and very drunken discussion between him, Charles, Lando and Pierre taking a quick pause, “I have a super important question to ask you!” There was complete silence other than your high heels clicking across the floor as they waited for you to enter. 

“You need to be quick, I’m five minutes away from being late to meet Lewis” you busied yourself, getting your purse ready for a night out of drinks with one of your oldest friends. 

“You’re dressed like that to meet Lewis?” The question hadn’t come from your boyfriend, but instead his best friend in the form of little Lando.

“Is that your question?” Carlos knew that you were actually asking was if he was genuinely allowing his friends to question how you were dressed to meet one of your oldest friends for drinks, but the quick shaking of his head and a kick to Lando’s knee was an indication that it was by no means what he had wanted to ask at all. 

In response, you nodded and continued to look around for your keys, patiently waiting for the question. It was not even close to what you had expected. You’d expected a questioning of where you were going for the evening, what time you were getting home, what were your plans for the rest of the weekend, anything, but not, 

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” 

You stopped your rifling and just stared at your boyfriend, all four of the boys looking back at you, waiting for your answer in anticipation. 

“Would I still love you if you were a worm?” You repeated his question, all four nodding in response as if you were addressing the collective, “No, I would not.” Your answer clearly displeased the lot of them, a look of hurt across your boyfriends and a look of anger across the others. 

Before any of them could even begin to protest, you held up your hand to stop them, “this is not a conversation you want to get into with me.” You made your way over to the kitchen table, an attempt to look for your wallet now too, convinced your keys would be with it. 

“This is the exact conversation I want to get into with you” Carlos' voice seeped in pain. 

“Yeah, why wouldn't you love him if he was a worm?” It was Charles' turn to interject into the dynamics of your relationship this time, and truthfully, you were surprised it wasn’t Lando, he always had something to say in defense of Carlos. 

“Well, because he’d be a worm, he wouldn’t be a cognizant thing, how do I love something I can have absolutely zero interaction with?” You thought this would all be obvious, but judging by the looks on all their faces, this answer was not a good enough explanation, “and if you were a cognizant being, like I could talk to you, then god no, that would be even worse, because then we’d have to have the conversation around like, tentacle porn, and worse, and did you know a worms entire skin is basically a mucus membrane, and did you know salt hurts them, do you know what our skin secretes? Salt. So no, I would not love you if you were a worm.” Although your reasoning was entirely sound, and none of them could truly fight you on it, there still looked like there was some damage control that needed to be done, Carlos turning away from you, a clearly hurt look on his face. 

“But, can I answer the actual question?” Carlos cocked his head, the only response he was going to give.

“What actual question?” That was the exact answer you had wanted to hear, albeit it came from a confused Pierre. 

“Well, Carlos isn’t asking me if I would love him if he was a worm, what he’s actually asking me is, if he felt like he was nothing, if he had nothing to offer other than exactly who he was, all the dark, nitty gritty parts of who he is, would he still be enough for me, would I still choose to love him?” the silence urged you on, all of them waiting to hear what your response would be to this. 

“And my answer would and always will be, that God himself could come down right now and whisk me away and tell me that he is going to give me a thousand full lives, of nothing but utter joy and peace for me to experience, but I’d never be able to see you again-” you’d made your way to stand just behind the couch that Carlos sat on, his eyes boring into your own, “-and I would spend the rest of my days hunting the Devil himself down, and on hands and knees beg him to take my soul and every single second of every single one of those lives in exchange for just one last day with you” you carded your fingers through his hair, eyes never leaving his, “So no, I would not love you if you were a worm, but I would love you for every second the Devil himself ripped apart my soul in the very depths of hell.” 

“It’s unfair, you’re a writer” you couldn’t help the laugh that ripped out of you at your boyfriends quiet words. 

“I’m late, I’ll see you,” you showed the keys as you began to leave the room, “behave and have a good night!” you shouted out through your giggles as they could do nothing other than watch the door close behind you. 

“Can we all agree to never mention her answer to anyone, because I am not sure I could top that one” Pierre was the first to speak after you’d left. 

“I warned you that this is what you were gonna get for dating a writer” Lando just chuckled out. 

“Can’t wait to hear the warning you’re going to give me when I tell you I’m going to propose to her next week” Carlos had finally stopped looking at the door and instead was now addressing Lando directly, mimicking the grin on his friends face as Lando realized what he was saying, his friends laughter only getting louder. 

“Your vows are gonna fucking suck compared to hers.”  

[magpod-confessions]

I think I'm the only person I've spoken to who would maybe...enjoy tma more (??) If it was just an anthology after all?

Like don't get me wrong, I've grown to enjoy Jon, Martin et al over time and through fan content, but I wasn't super paying attention to the meta plot when I listened to tma and thus don't care the most about them?

Like it's fine. But my experience with the podcast was very much just tuning in for a cool horror short story every week and then being vaguely cognizant of the plot bits?

Season 1 remains my favourite and most revisited for this reason. Piecemeal (ep 15) is one of the best stories of all time, it's literally such a classic fairy story but also contemporary and horror and I love it.

.

[asexual-juliet]

just wanted to let u know that its pretty weird to romanticize internment camps and describing that as their “meet cute” is even weirder especially cause ur white

i’m really sorry if that wording came off the wrong way; i am absolutely not trying to romanticize the incarceration. with my reference to a “meet-cute moment” between Kimi and Frank i was not talking about the camp experience itself as a “meet-cute” but imagining a hypothetical interaction they may have had when they met (like the classic “helping them pick up their dropped books after we walk into each other” moment), but i see where that could have been unclear.

i think it’s really important to remember that just because America locked Japanese American people away during the war, that doesn’t mean their lives stopped — they met new people, they fell in love, they passed all kinds of everyday milestones, and they grew as people over the three-or-so years they were incarcerated. the incarceration was a horrific breach of human rights and a deeply traumatizing experience for the people who lived it, but there were stories of joy in its history as well — an anecdote that comes to mind is referenced in the obituary of Grace Umezawa Nixon, which mentions that she once “recalled dancing the jitterbug at Santa Anita, with Dorothy and some ‘cute boys from Pasadena.’” Another example — at Heart Mountain in Wyoming, George Igawa led a swing band made up of musicians of all different skill levels that became so popular that they were asked to play proms and war bond rallies outside of the camp.

i’m incredibly sorry to anyone i may have hurt with that wording and i will absolutely be more cognizant of my language in the future.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740933819656470528/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic740550153935?source=share

Curious what you mean by it being "no accident" that papers are like that. (I think I know the paper they were referring to, I saw it and definitely felt like the parts of it where the person analyzed the fandom were pretty weak and that she needed a stronger backing in academic fandom studies, and was banking on the fact that her audience was largely unfamiliar with DS9 and its fandom. As someone else who does academia on obscure fandom stuff, it's always something I try to be cognizant of - it's SO easy if you are the only person in your little corner of academia studying some niche thing, to not get the feedback that you would if you were studying something that people you talk to know better just because they're so unfamiliar as to be unable to see when something is like... fundamentally flawed if you actually watch the thing. Also, was doing the classic thing you always complain about with treating AO3 like it represents the sum-total of all fandom, when it doesn't even do that for fanfiction fandom.)

--

"The industry still sucks and tv viewers tend to replicate its patterns" is a boring take with no actionable items.

"This niche subculture of women are all evil bigots DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA" is a take that gets attention.

Lazy-ass analyses like this are usually a way for someone to chase clout, regardless of which sphere they're released into. There's often a career or financial motive that's pretty obvious beyond just general clout.

[inventors-fair]

The Sound of Silence: Lyric Commentary

I'm quite happy with the response that this contest generated this week, and I'm thoroughly impressed with the variety of music that I got to see everyone choose! From classic rap to soundtracks, indie to musicals, it really goes to show that there are so many ways to connect with lyrics across the board. I've been trying to do more mechanical-oriented contests as of late after a slew of flavorful ones. Contests like this seem to tread a medium ground.

My favorite overall aspect of this week is how those variations in music either influenced or completely changed one's approach to the song. Many cards had themes that were directly connected to the world of Magic and intentionally shifted the context of the lyrics, but for others, I feel that the lyrics helped drive the card's creation. I liked seeing the ways in which people allowed their love of music to make new cards!

My overall mechanical critique is a reminder about space and punctuation. Magic cards are limited by the amount of characters you can fit into a title, and there's only so much room for flavor text as well. In the real world of card processes, there would be someone who would ask for flavor text on cards that needed them, but seeing as we're acting in mechanical, creative, AND visual space, it's something to be cognizant of. Additionally, I saw a lot of semicolon misuse this week. Semicolons are for separating two like ideas that could be connected but lead into each other naturally; they can't replace the function of commas or emdashes.

But my song's almost been sung, SO: here are the entries and commentary! If you see a card with JUDGE PICK next to it, that means it was either a) in the running and there just wasn't space, or b) there was a specific cool thing about it that I wanted to highlight for the crowd. One, two, three, four—

@an-anarchist-shapeshifter — End the Feud "Time will Change You" by The Crane Wives

I feel a sense of disconnect between the notion of equal pacifism and the mechanical implications. Perhaps the king and the elves are each representative of the green and white here, but then there's the fact that everyone's graveyards are exiled and only you get the benefit. Of course, there's no way that giving your opponents the counters would be reasonable. In that instance, perhaps one compromise would've been to not necessarily display the truce, but also a force for the future. After all, wouldn't you be swinging in pretty hard after this?

Still, the ability to really beef up a board through lots of graveyard shenanigans is just what a GW deck could use against a more control-oriented matchup. Personally I'd phrase it "where X is the number of cards exiled from your graveyard this way" instead of "owned," because it's more intuitive to me. Yeah, it's the same thing, but regardless. And it's a good swing in still! I think the bottom line is that I wanted for there to be a more direct connection between the trajectory of these two kingdoms and how the player would use this to then claim some manner of victory. The intended mood matches the lyrics but could've used a different mechanical angle if you wanted to stick with the notion of peace. A lifegain spell might've been reasonable as well.

~

@arixordragc — Disdainful Dragon "Judgement" by Caamora)

I'm quite familiar with the card Disdainful Stroke. I'm also familiar with the cost and its effects. I'm baffled as to why the choice to name a card ostensibly after a specific spell would lead to an inverted effect here. Why mana value 4 or less? Yeah, maybe someone would be disdainful of those underneath them as the lyric suggests, but most of the Disdainful Strokes that we've seen have flavorfully been about dismissing the greater displays of power from those above you. The choice to invert that feels incongruous to me.

The card's perfectly fine, I suppose, even if the flavor text is kinda squished in there. It's a good draft mythic and could see sideboard play. Really, though, the whole concept of the card feels like it should've been built around the spell in question and the fact that it isn't frustrates me somewhat. I want to hear about the decision for that later if you're around and about to tell it.

~

@bergdg — One More Light "One More Light" by Linkin Park

Yeah, it's a great little one-drop. Combat tricks like this are fun for limited and good for constructed in the right situations. I like the stipulation for the counter. Did you ever consider having an effect that would do something else if the permanent wasn't a creature? I suppose that the bonus is fine enough for white. The flavorful portion of this card is pretty strongly in white's wheelhouse, and that's something that really solidifies it in this unique position.

What is the value of a single entity to the colors? I suppose Blue would have each individual categorized, Black would have each individual counting themselves first, Red would fight for each individual's brightness to shine, and Green recognizes that each light has a purpose. But it's white's capacity to care from one light to another first that matters. The ellipses in the flavor text is grammatically awkward to me, and really should've been removed, but the sentiment's what matters here. Ultimately a great connection that speaks to the color pie, I say. Maybe not the most staggering effect, but eh, combat tricks are always worth it to someone.

~

@bread-into-toast — Weight of the Worldsoul "Good Luck Babe!" by Chappell Roan

I'm always struck by the effort of the art here. The new enchantment frames really make this pop for sure, and with this kind of really wild effect, it's a feast for the senses. That said, mechanics matter more here, so I'll stop that particular praise to tell you that I wish there was a more coherent way to phrase this effect. Coherent? More succinct is what I mean. I grok it, of course, and there are plenty of effects that do this sort of thing, but it's a heck of a mouthful.

Being able to shut off someone's cards like this is often much better than just removing them, though, even if it gets them mana. Sacrificing a creature is still totally doable if it's just got Pacifism on it, and instant-speed Aura removal is a lot worse when it's on a Planeswalker you control. Could "Enchant creature, planeswalker or land" roll off the tongue easier? Is there a tried-and-true 'you must do this' order to these things? At this point I usually go with intuition. As far as the Worldsoul and whatever goes, I like the interpretation of the lyrics to this kind of overwhelming effect. Like, damn, yeah, being interconnected to all of life and nature really can be a burden. I don't believe that Chappell Roan was talking about that exactly but who knows, maybe she's a planeswalker in disguise. I suppose in the end you've got a lot of funky words on a funky card, but it's a heck of an interesting card for what it's worth. 

~

@cthulhusaurusrex — Lead Pipe Languages "Ballskin" by MF DOOM

What a fantastic reference choice of lyric-to-card-presentation you've got here. I think that anyone looking at this art would certainly understand the homage, although the name is somewhat... Well, not to tie things up, but it's kind of blunt all things considered. Maybe I would expect there to be more bludgeoning in the connection; as someone who's a fan of the esoteric, it's a wee bit too esoteric to pass the test of player comprehension.

The mechanics are certainly reminiscent of the Silverquill power, and it was a fair enough choice to have the power of language and the rap references align here. The fact that you can turn Auras into enchantment creatures is a bit of an oversight considering how they would immediately die. And since when do the Silverquill care about enchantments or enchantment creatures? Yes, I know that it would be more to the point of having this card work in a specific constructed shell, but unless this is intended to present a completely new leap here, I don't see the exact connection. Maybe if there are more Silverquill cards in the future they'll be able to delve into this space. Other than that, the 'why' of this card is still lost on me.

~

@dimestoretajic — Graveyard Smash (JUDGE PICK) "Monster Mash" by Bobby Pickett

It's a perfectly reasonable card that smashes with flash, if your casting is ramped to amp up the crash of nasty ghasts to cash their massive axes and gash the aghast. Plus, exiling someone else's graveyard so that they can't get their own creature reanimated is pretty awesome too. I didn't expect for someone to go with a song that's a little...sillier? I should've expected that more, honestly, it's kinda silly myself that I didn't. Maybe I was thinking of more personal songs for people, more poetic. But hey, maybe there's sentimentality for you, I ain't one to judge. Except in the position whereupon I'm the judge.

And I'm judging that flavor text just a little bit, just because it feels a little obvious for what you're going for. It's not bad, of course, and I like how there's a little bit of that implied silliness with a hooligan horde of graverobbers coming in to dig up a bunch of graves as fast as they can before bouncing. Maybe I would've liked some more of the result of the looting, like how after they'd heard about the security, there wasn't a still shovel for weeks, or how the sounds of tilled earth and cracked granite kept everyone up, or maybe how it even startled the ghosts—yadda yadda yadda. Reanimating from an eff-yours-got-mine is awesome, and I love the name because of how absurd the portrayal is! There's a poetic extra mile that really could've pushed it, but take the thumbs-up for what it is.

~

@feyd-rautha-apologist — Ignite the Drive (JUDGE PICK) "Extras (Elphelt's Theme)" by Molly Daisy & Daisuke Ishiwatari

I'm guilty for not knowing anything about Guilty Gear. Frankly, I don't play that many video games in the first place. What I do know is that goblins also don't listen to safety regulations and also, Vehicles don't have enough of this effect—honestly, there isn't any effect quite like this, not as simple, and I enjoy it a lot. Whatever limited environment that this could go in, it knows what it's asking for. Good topdeck when you need that last creature and don't have what you need to power your vehicles.

There's this energy that the song brings and this Magic-themed matching energy that feels aligned even without that direct connection between the nice young lady in the thumbnail and the motorhead in the art description. Maybe the exclamation points in the flavor text are a little much, but aside from that, this was a competitive week and I still want to commend this card for its strength of mood and overall kick-assery. 

~

@frognarch — Ruler's Acquisition "C.R.E.A.M." by Wu-Tang Clan

It's a damn cool image, that's for sure. Something tells me that "cash" as a concept isn't the most in-line with most Magic universes, and that's really the most difficult part of this card to contend with flavorfully; the fact that it's the flavor text that you chose is, well... I might just not be the right audience for sunglasses-wearing skulls. What this card sets out to do, I imagine, is to display a more contemporary take that's connected to the music, as opposed to finding a niche in a specific/established plane. And that's fine if that's what you're setting out to do! For most contest criteria, I'm just a little more straightedge with it.

The mechanics are what I really want to tinker with here, because goodness gracious there's some powerful stuff moving around. I will say that there's a small issue in power balance for constructed for sure. Swinging in and getting your Treasures with any kind of earlier treasure support means that you can, at instant speed, snatch up your opponents blockers and effectively ensure that they don't play the game. If this was a rare that sacrificed itself to gain control of another creature, I'd be a lot more down for that. Repeatedly and permanently gaining control of other players' stuff is a feelbad for just about any format. If that's still what you're after, then you might want to secure more hoops to jump through, because the threshold of five Treasures in the right shell is a lot easier to get to than you might think.

~

@horsecrash — Wanderlust (JUDGE PICK) "Metal Detector" by They Might Be Giants

So far, Glowcap Lantern is the closest that any other card's come to this effect, and it's kinda strange that that's the case. It's a damn powerful effect, but having to hit on contact doesn't make it any more powerful than, say, Sticky Fingers or whatever. Less so without evasion, honestly. And that's good! Balanced commons are indeed good, no matter what the folks on the internet might say. They don't say otherwise, I don't know why I said that. Auras in limited are pretty undervalued, and in the end I think that having this in a shell with flying evasion would be the best bet. Whether or not I'd play it is kinda up in the air.

What I do like about this card that's commendable enough for a JP is the natural manner in which the flavor text as a fragment defines the aura, and also turns around the song to something that feels distinctly Magic-related. Yep, it's exactly that, that's how we're defining "wanderlust" for green, and I think it clicks in very well. Usually I'm not as down for fragments, but you make it make sense here because its parts of speech are enhancing what's being demonstrated through gameplay. This card should be notable for anyone reading this as an example of how grammar can work for you when you're writing your own original flavor text. Also, hell yeah TMBG.

~

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Trust Deceived "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" by The Offspring

[image description: a scene through Kellan's POV - on the ground in the midst of the crossfire in Tarnation, vision going dark at the edges, hand outstretched, watching Oko walk away from him.]

Something something two nickels. Anyway, it's a pretty rough pseudo-counterspell, and I like the way that your art direction places us. It's been a while since I've read the OTJ story. With that snippet of the lyrics in the title, I guess I understand it, but it's a little underwhelming for a choice. Maybe that's the hard part about having lyrics for a title—you don't get all the nuance that a longer sentence might bring. But I'm also not opposed to it, and if I'm generous, seeing this card in an OTJ pack would make me pretty happy to play blue. Blue was really damn powerful in OTJ. Makes me nostalgic, really.

The first line is the only one that needs a mechanical change, I think. Were you going for more of a Deflecting Swat kind of deal? Honestly I don't know why that one is a "may," but whatever. In that case, you might want to actually word it like Sideswipe. Yes, from CHK. Because OTJ had cards with multiple targets, the ability to change any number of them would've been awesome. Against a full-spree Metamorphic Blast or Rustler Rampage? Hell yeah. That said, I'm glad that this card doesn't have Spree, and that was a fair choice. Maybe stunning a creature as a last resort is a feelsbad at rare, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, and options are what really makes a rare card rare. The fact that just about all these things were found on OTJ spells actually makes me less inclined to think that that's the environment where you imagined this, but tell me what your thought process was—I'm curious!

~

@levelzeo — Let Me See Your Bones "Skeleton Appreciation Day" by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

Weirdly enough, for reasons that I don't have a specific example for, this card doesn't work within the layers. I've attached the link below as to why, but the TL;DR is that modifying creature types happens in layer 4 and P/T stuff happens in layer 7. If you want to change a creature's type, it can't be contingent on its colors, abilities, or P/T as a static effect. Intuitive? No. Rulesworthy? Yes. This is one of the first cards in a while where I've actually had to investigate this! You learn something new every day. And it's a shame, because I really like how this card plays out.

Getting everything to be a X/1 Skeleton and having them party hard with each other is really cool for making the board a bunch of boney boys, and the length of the title is awesome with flavor text that takes from the song as well. Like, this is a skeleton love letter and I think that all the elements technically come together very well! It's a shame that there's not really an easy way to go about the effect that you're looking for without some weird wording and/or targeting and stuff. Small note: you're using MSE, correct? Using "Chop Bottom" in the Style tab will make it so that your FT doesn't get covered by a stamp.

~

@melancholia-ennui — Moment of Doubt "The Getting By II" by The Killers

Once more the semicolon of separation comes in to rattle my bones. Argh! Small potatoes, though, for a card that's got some heavy emotions that come with it. I think that there's something to be said for how you've gone about this concept from a flavorful perspective, some kind of lost faith. The Theros Gods in particular being contingent upon belief is an interesting one, because there's that feeling of outsider doubt that makes cards like this that much more profound in-universe, to say nothing of the profundity outside of it. I wonder if the FT could've been just as fine with "When I look up, all I see is sky" attributed to one of the figures. It says enough without the rhyme to make it feel lyrical, no?

I don't think we need to delve into the mechanics as much as the flavor's getting to me, honestly, but I'll do my damndest anyway. After all, it's a fun take on the white boardwipes that we've been seeing these days with the draw stuff, and I think I'm a fan of how it reflects belief as something that can still accrue meaning despite the doubt being more powerful than said belief. Still, it should read: "Each player who controls an Avatar, God, Demigod, and/or legendary enchantment" because otherwise one could argue that someone who controls both somehow wouldn't draw a card. Semantics! Yes, that's a dumb take. Yes, someone would actually argue that if they found themselves in that situation. Yes, boardwipes are awesome in limited. And yes, I do particularly like the inclusion of Avatar in there, actually. It's a nice touch.

~

@mildewpyre — Dreamless Dorm/Ticking Clock "Burn My Dread" by Yumi Kawamura

I am...more or less confused by what this card seeks to accomplish. Your opponent has basically no chance to react to Dreamless Dorm when you cast it, right? So why is it worded as a trigger like that? Playing a creatureless control deck that ensures you maximize that value is a bit uninteractive in limited, and with a majority of Magic back-and-forth being tied to creatures these days, having a burn spell that can deal a ridiculous amount of damage for that little mana isn't what I'd call a fun card. And then you have the card that changes life totals being one that follows after that, for seven mana? I'm not sure what the process was for how this card was intended to work.

If I'm being generous, I'd say that playing Dreamless Dorm and then swinging in incentivizes your opponents to block with a little more fatalism in mind before maximizing the damage that your own creatures would do to you. That's also if you're running creatures in the first place, which if you're doing limited, you'd have to do in order to get anywhere. But that's pure conjecture and that's nothing to be said for how Ticking Clock really doesn't mesh with the Dorm in the first place. What's with the name-to-gameplay connection, too? And why did you include flavor text on an Aftermath card? I'll assume this is supposed to be rare, too, but I'll be honest: this card feels like the idea for a Persona-themed card came took over the actual card design. Theming is important but it can't come at the cost of a cohesive card structure.

~

@nine-effing-hells — Throw Off the Shackles "Defying Gravity" by Stephen Schwartz

I read one of the books in the series many years ago, but I've never been too into Wicked like a lot of people I know. Never really delved into theatre as much as I should've. Still, when you have a green-skinned ostracized character being unjustly maligned, might as well roll with it, right? I guess that the only thing I have against this card is the fact that I don't sense any sort of "game" that one might associate with the Azorius? Like, is that how a Golgari character would see the relationship? I have a hard time buying that just because it's a specific kind of back-and-forth where the powerful figure(s) need to take themselves less seriously in order for a game to be recognized. IMO the Azorius take themselves way too seriously for this FT to be the best application.

Still, the effect is something that we haven't seen too much of re:Aura destruction, and looking at all the Auras that Ravnica has to offer from the Azorius, I like what the gameplay and AD could do with one another! Getting that sense of tethering severance feels both strong for Black on both fronts, and the indestructible is another cool aspect that I like about the combat tricks Black has to offer. Determination is a quality that we've been seeing more of in Black. Bringing that out to this card is actually quite impressive considering how well the execution flows.

~

@piccadilly-blue — Baron Von Marlon "Too Much Brandy" by The Streets

Honestly, I didn't listen to too many of the songs that people had sent in, either because I didn't have the time, and/or the genre didn't appeal to me, and/or I had already heard the artists and could get the vibe from that. You, on the other hand, piqued my interest, and—well, I'm not sold, but I'm far from turned off, and more staggered than anything. Staggering suits this character well, now that we're on the topic, and the mood is by far the strongest thing about this card. I don't mean the mood of the AD, but the whole mood. This character is pretty damn awesome. I don't think it would be a safe idea to go out partying with them, but, y'know, I'd follow them on Rakblr.

I feel that I'm kinda missing the context for where you imagine the gameplay to fit in here. Rakdos gameplay is something that's rather hard to pin down, although having a guy sobering up to eventually pummel you in the face is pretty reasonable. Not that he's the strongest, though, and without that history of -1/-1 counters, I'm left wondering where you're expecting this archetype to go, if anywhere. But is that really the concern of this card? Maybe you're going strictly for mood, and that succeeded immensely. I just wish I didn't have to stop that mood and question it against where the card itself is taking me. Feels like I'm ruining the vibe, y'know?

~

@real-aspen-hours — Ghouls Gambit "Drink with the Living Dead" by Ghoultown

[Art: a zombie dressed in tattered cowboy attire is sitting at a table, across from a living person. Both have shot their thunder pistols at each other, knocking cards and shot glasses off the table. The human reels back from the shot, while the zombie only gives a skeletal grin as the attack pierces him, to no effect.]

Was this supposed to be "Ghoul's" or "Ghouls'" with a possessive? Either way, sorry about not having the full spree there, but I haven't found the place to add the [+] for the upper-right on Spree cards. Ah well. It's certainly a functional Spree card, and it's a shame that Unfortunate Accident is also a card here to take that second mode and make it feel slightly more derivative. But deathtouch/indestructible is a perfectly fine way of making combat that much stronger, so yeah, for five mana you can control some interaction. That's worth it for me as a black instant! Not breaking ground necessarily, but it's got what it needs.

Simple cards are then reliant on the strength of their flavor in order to get the point across. Where we land here is the midpoint of having the flavor text not exactly enhancing but not exactly repeating what's being presented via the art. Maybe as a warning or an attribution it could've gone somewhere. Poetically, the warning that's in the song preempts the result (the "would") and as such there might still be an element of surprise. Not so much here, though. I think the quote "Try to match me shot for shot" might have been a better application of the song, honestly, to match both the humor and immediacy. Not a bad connection considering OTJ overall, but I was hoping for slightly more substance.

~

@sparkyyoungupstart — Fable to Fighter "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies

In no other Magic timeline could this lyric be applicable. And I actually think it's pretty great here! Do they have movies on Kamigawa yet? I mean, they have cameras and chips, but I don't know for sure about films. I think it's cute enough for me to suspend my disbelief. I'm still a big fan of Kamigawa when I can ignore the turntables and headphones and allow for neon mechanics to be their own form of magical joy. Does that bring me out of this immersion? No, although it's still really clear that the lyrics were what shaped the card and that there was a bit of a forced meshing here. Not a bad meshing, mind! Just a pretty clear point of contact.

As for the ability, historic permanents turning alive also feels pretty cool from a manifestation standpoint. That said, Vengeant Earth is where you want the wording to be: "Target historic permanent you control becomes a 4/4 Samurai creature with first strike in addition to its other types until end of turn." Sometimes you can ignore the "base" stuff, y'know? All depends on precedent. It's a fairly strong effect, I'd say, good for a combat trick, good for combat math. The actual gameplay might not be doing anything particularly crazy, but I loved playing with Historic in limited, and that ticks off a box for me. Having a lot forced into the box of these lyrics is still a bit tongue-in-cheek. Again, I'm smiling as I'm writing this. Take that however ya want.

~

@tanknspank — Two-Toned Echoes "Who Brings Shadow" by Masayoshi Soken

I'm slowly learning that the intersection of Final Fantasy enthusiasts and Magic players is a lot stronger than I first realized. As someone with absolutely no connection to the game I'm a little struck by the whole presentation, so that's a good start. Squishing that name into the adventure, on the other hand, is a little forced, and you and I both know that I don't have to tell you twice. Two-Toned Echoes, eh? Look, I'm gonna level with you: it's a weird name for a card. Explicitly referring to Magic's color system in-game has been done before, but there's a reason that it's fallen out of favor, and I think there could've been a little more separation before jumping into this name as a first choice. But, you had to abide by the lyrics, and as far as prismatic things go, I'm willing to envision an adventure-y sensation wherein some figure is leaping over their past and future selves in a rainbow-colored array of joy.

Tumbling Through Time is a fine card by itself as well. Look, overall I think that this card is really good and grokable. What am I hesitant about, then? Something's prodding me, and it may just be the arrangement of lyric and adventure, which IIRC you pointed out in the submission process. "Lost in the Flood" could've been fine—I just checked it, heh—but no, that wasn't what you wanted from this card. Maybe that's just what happened with a few cards from this contest: it's just so apparent when the desire to get the lyrics is evident on the cards, and it's no longer blended together. What does that matter in the end, I suppose? Love trumps immersion. I'm still gonna critique it a bit but only 'cause that's my job.

~

@wildcardgamez — The Fire "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel

Just so it's out there in front of this, I did note that the title (or part of the title) of the song shouldn't be what the name/flavor took from. Kinda not in the spirit of the lyric contest. But regardless, here we are, and we've got The Fire here. It's living up to its name, I suppose? It's basically "You can cast two spells, but watch out" which really means "Your opponents should only cast one spell each turn." It's an easily contained fire, that's for sure. I don't think it's living up to the legendary stature of its title or its flavor because of that. Maybe it's a sideboard card against combo decks and big spell decks, but I'd hope there would be bounce removal or whatever for it.

I think that you aimed a little too high here for an effect that's far too abstract for what's reasonable. It feels less like you were designing with the lyric in mind and more that you took the song and tried to apply it to the Magic world in an 'epic' way. And that's admirable, but IMO the contest was looking for less macroscopic approaches. Who's the speaker? Is this the effect or a story about the effect? Is there a plane in question? Mystique can bring intrigue, but in this case it's obscuring the larger idea that the card is asking for.

~

@xenobladexfan — Gunborg, Starnheim Gatekeeper (JUDGE PICK) "Wir fliegen" by Cyua & Hiroyuki Sawano

I'm trying so hard to picture the epic art that your illustration is going for, and yes, I can absolutely see the valkyrie with their weapons guarding a withered world tree. I'm also a veteran of the Kingdom of Loathing and that's taking over so much of my visual memory right now. But, this isn't about the art, innit? It's about a pretty darn good angel-to-non-angel ratio and having these cards slam in the air. Having even one or two angels makes all the ground attacks and deaths that much better, and I'd like to think that they're talking to another angel in the FT—to the player, even, as a guardian. I like that a lot!

I didn't think "Untap them" should be its own sentence but I guess we have The Fifth Doctor as kinda-precedent. I dunno, seems a little wonky but not that wonky at all. Really, there's not much to actively dislike about this card at all. The name's a lot longer than it needs to be, and "Gunborg" sounds fairly unserious for a serious card, but those a little nitpicks to be fixed in post. You took the lyrics and you fulfilled the prompt in a way that coincided with Magic's multiverse in a pleasant and almost poignant manner. So kudos to you!

~

@yourrightfulking — Stray from the Path "Ghost Light" by TheFatRat & Everglow

Let's start with the mechanics here, which are what I like the best. This card should for sure be an uncommon, because a two-mana exile spell, even multicolored, is still quite powerful. Being able to rescue one of your own untapped creatures and/or bounce it is fun too. Really, besides a complexity spike that also justifies this card as uncommon, I think that there's a lot to be intrigued by here! I'm a huge fan of the various UW tempo/control shells, so I'll admit that I'm a little more biased towards these effects personally.

As for how the lyrics/flavor interact, though, I think that I could've used a little bit of context here. Maybe there's a voice that's taking wandering kids or survivors and schwooping them away, where attackers are punished but bystanders aren't? I don't think I have enough information with what you're presenting here to get a clear understanding of what your card is supposed to depict. Conjecture is fine, of course, but I want more than conjecture when it comes to these sorts of things, because I can't really judge my own presumptions. Upping the rarity and giving a little more definition to the showcase could've turned me onto this card as much as I was wanting, all things considered.

~

And that's that. Phew. Thank you all once more for your cards <3 This was a popular week! @abelzumi

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe Rating: Teen Audiences Words: 1.7K~ Summary: “No, no, please— Steven, it’s not ‘nothing,’ I’m curious, now.” Tone bursting with genuine warmth, he plants a singular hand on his shoulder, trying to coax him to open up again. “I genuinely want to know.” And stars, is the sheer, uncharacteristic vulnerability glistening within his dear friend’s warm brown irises when next he opens his mouth almost enough to scramble the very code of his core-most being. “You sure about that, Flower Boy?” _ A holiday gift fic inspired by the story "Drift Together," in which Steven and his Gem- Floret- are split at birth and live entirely separate lives before ultimately reuniting in high school.

Merry Christmas @gaudess-schmoddess! I enjoyed getting an opportunity to write about your boys so very much! It's such a fun challenge, playing in other people's sandboxes, ahah.

__

The living room of the home he’s visiting— Steven’s home— is filled with warmth and loud, lilting laughter this brisk winter evening.

A soft smile rises upon Floret’s lips as he leans up against the wall in the doorway of the kitchen and observes the scene. It’s a fairly small gathering all-in-all, just the Lök family and a few of their closest connections, which means that he’s genuinely quite touched that Steven thought to invite him. Vidalia is perched on the couch next to Yellowtail, a bit tipsy on wine and giggling over some dramatic, drawn-out story about a recent mail delivery incident that Barb’s been telling for the last ten or so minutes. Onion is perfectly content sculpting… well, something— (he’s not quite sure what his latest masterpiece is supposed to be yet)— in his mashed potatoes, and Steven himself is hanging out in the corner catching up with Sour Cream, who’s come home from university to visit for a few weeks. There’s a handful of other folks here too… either extended relatives or friends of the family he doesn’t yet know. Everyone here— completely new faces included— has been very welcoming towards him, with plenty asking him curious questions about Gems and their settlement in town, which he’s perfectly happy to answer. In less familiar social situations like these though, he often feels more comfortable overlooking the crowd rather than injecting himself right into the middle of it. At least for now. At least until he gathers more intel on all the subtle minutia of these people’s energy and interactions. 

It simply feels more polite that way. 

Absentmindedly whistling along to the soft classic rock on the playlist that’s running, he glances down into his cup, twirling around the scant remainder of some homemade spiced apple cider that he brought. It’s more of a concentrated slurry of cinnamon and nutmeg than actual cider at this point, but that’s fine. He’s well aware that this batch was a bit of a rush job. If he were given the benefit of advanced warning he could’ve simmered it for longer, but alas Steven’s invite was a wholly last minute thing; it was a stray semicolon at the end of an otherwise finished sentence. He barely had enough time to throw together a halfway coherent outfit tonight, let alone prep a halfway adequate potluck offering as a polite thank you. Still, he’d say the flavors melded enough to suit most folks’ tastes.

He sighs with the exact sort of manufactured content one might expect from a teenage wallflower at a party they know almost no one at, spinning around real quick to toss the plastic cup in the trashcan right behind him. 

When he returns his wandering attention to the living space though, every last thread of his cognizant mind is sucked in by Steven (and oh, how easily it’s swayed by him these days), who’s finished his quick conversation with his adoptive older brother and is now sauntering back towards him with a teasing little grin on his face. He’s wearing a sweater tonight, black with red stripes. It suits him, he thinks— this pop of red matches that of his bold eyeliner perfectly. 

“Uh-oh,” his science partner says with a bit of a playful lilt tinting his voice, nudging him with his elbow. “Do you see what I see?”

He nods his head upwards, pulling Floret’s gaze straight towards the ceiling. 

He squints, finding nothing else of note beyond a fresh, ribboned sprig of that leafy plant he often sees hung about in the doorways this time of year. “What, y’mean that decoration?”

Steven’s grin transforms into a full shit-eating smirk. “Looks like it caught us fair and square, don’tcha think? Guess that means we have no choice…”

His brows scrunch inwards. “No choice… of what?”

“Uh… it’s mistletoe—? Come on, play along with me, here. You know what that is.”

“Do I—?”

He sneaks a quick peak at the plant in question again, wracking his memory for any scrap of familiarity he can muster, even the smallest crumb of a fact. And what does he find? Nothing of note. Beyond his awareness that it’s a seasonal thing, he has no idea what Steven’s talking about, and it’s starting to drive his mind in insatiably curious circles. ‘Play along?’ With what??

Steven purses his lips as he squints at him, truly searching his expression.

“Oh my fucking god,” he blurts out with a small peel of laughter after a few tense beats of silence. “Are you seriously telling me that Gems don’t know what mistletoe is for? That your dad didn’t even mention this very basic holiday tradition to you??”

“I dunno!” Floret says with a massive sheepish shrug, sensing his cheeks heat up against his will. “I missed out on a lot of human stuff growing up, okay? Also, I never really celebrated Christmas as a kid anyways. Just wasn’t our thing.”

He raises his open palmed hands out in a gesture of defense. “Jeeze, sorry, fair enough.”

Pause. 

There’s an extended moment here where the two of them can’t quite seem to meet each other’s eyes, rocking back and forth on their heels as the din of all the adults’ spirited conversation in the other room threatens to envelop the unwritten potential of this interaction entirely. 

Then…

Inhaling deep, he scratches at the nape of his neck, lingering curiosity pouring off him in waves.

“So, uh… what is it for?”

Steven’s attention snaps back up to meet his— just for a split second, just for long enough that he knows without a glimmer of doubt that he did in fact hear his question— and his cheeks flush a bright scarlet red as he immediately averts his eyes once more. Floret follows the trajectory of his glance, finding him peering at Vidalia in the other room. She’s watching them with a bit of a wry smile.

“I-I… forget about it,” he murmurs, crossing his arms tight around himself, “it’s stupid. I’m stupid. I was just messin’ with you, really. We don’t actually have to—”

His words conveniently and oh-so-frustratingly trail off.

Floret’s brow furrows as he probes him for more information. “Have to… have to what?”

“It’s nothing. Let’s just leave it.”

“No, no, please— Steven, it’s not ‘nothing,’ I’m curious, now.” Tone bursting with genuine warmth, he plants a singular hand on his shoulder, trying to coax him to open up again. “I genuinely want to know.”

And stars, is the sheer, uncharacteristic vulnerability glistening within his dear friend’s warm brown irises when next he opens his mouth almost enough to scramble the very code of his core-most being.

“You sure about that, Flower Boy?”

He nods, suddenly having never been more sure about anything in all his eighteen years of life. “Yes. I am.”

Steven’s glance skates upwards once more, lingering upon that little sprig of green with a palpable air of anxiety as he drops his hands to his side. 

“Well, uh—” he begins, thumbing his fingertips against the somewhat worn hem of his sweater’s sleeve— “when two people are caught underneath the mistletoe, the tradition is that they’re supposed to…”

He inhales sharply, and then rises on his tiptoes as high as he’ll go. Eyelids fluttering shut, and grabbing loose fistfuls of his dress shirt to bring them closer together, he finally crosses that long-indefinable line of their uniquely intense friendship and presses their lips flush. Floret practically melts into this kiss, his veins thrumming with a kind of warm, effervescent energy he’s never quite felt before. The gem at his navel hums with clear desire as— almost instinctively— his hands raise to settle against the small of his back, deepening their embrace. 

And then, just as swift as their worlds so unpredictably intersected this school year to begin with, it’s over. 

(Far, far too soon.)

Steven pulls away first. He breaks apart with a shallow, almost quivering breath, sinking back upon his heels. The tips of his ears are burning a pink that’s even brighter than the swirl of dyed color in his bangs as he pointedly avoids his dumbfounded gaze, choosing instead to stare holes into the tiled kitchen laminate under his feet. It’s the most unguarded expression he thinks he’s ever seen from him, and the sheer significance of this realization leaves Floret wholly unmoored. His mouth bobs open to say something in response— literally anything— but despite his best efforts he can’t muster the cognizance to so much as string two syllables together. 

He’s lost in the stratosphere. 

Entirely starstruck.

(Because what on Earth does this kiss make them? Who are they to each other after such an intimate breakthrough like that?)

“T-that’s a… a really nice tradition,” he finally manages to splutter out, voice croaking a few pitches higher than his usual tenor.

The barest glimmer of a smile flutters across Steven’s face, but it’s subdued. Anxious, even… as if his friend (boyfriend??) has just been struck with the wonderful but all-too dizzying truth that this daring kiss he initiated isn’t like one of his teasing jokes that can always be taken back. No, no. Instead, a fundamental line of this relationship has been crossed forever… a distinct, billowing shift in the winds of their fates that it’s obvious they both can sense. 

Floret watches his eyes flit towards the living room for the briefest of seconds, meeting the glance of his adoptive mother once more. Vidalia shoots them a knowing smirk and a nod of wholehearted acceptance (leave it to a parent to have a keen intuition for these kinds of matters, he supposes) before returning to her conversation with the other adults.

Tugging at his sweater sleeve, Steven clears his throat.

“So, um… anyways,” he mumbles, summoning the courage to peer up at him again. “Are you enjoying the party, so far?”

Floret beams, his cheeks almost aching from— for once in his life— the sheer sincerity of this yet-unknown feeling bubbling up within him.

(Stars, what does one even call such emotion, again…?)

“I definitely am now,” he says, wrapping his arm around his waist and drawing him into his warmth. 

And upon physical reunion with his dear science partner, the diamond embedded at his core sings him its wholehearted answer.

It’s bliss, he realizes with a hum of contentment.

The emotion he’s looking for… that some yearning, hollow piece of him has always been looking for… is bliss.

[mstrchu]

is nezha eternally 12?

yeah he is he told me himself in a t&t parking lot

12 is an arbitrary number. if you're looking for a source that literally says the exact phrase "nezha is eternally 12" you're uhh probably not going to find one. you're also probably not going to find a source that outright states that he grew into an adult. i think the reason 12 has become a popular number is because it sort of straddles that point between true childhood and adolescence, but again, it's arbitrary.

in fsyy, nezha is 7 when the whole thing with ao bing and returning his flesh and bones to his parents happens, which as far as I'm aware is the last time that an exact age is given for him in that particular novel. fsyy is also not the end all be all of "canon", but it did have significant implications for both practiced religion and literature (1, ch.5). sangren also notes that 7 being the age given is important.

i've only read about half of jttw so far, but don't think any physical or chronological age is stated for him, except that sun wukong calls him "小哥" (little guy/young man/etc.) when they first meet lol.

(a couple of nezhas from this copy of fsyy)

but the exact number of 12 isn't the point behind the statement. imo the idea behind the sentiment is that nezha is culturally perceived as a child. he is metaphorically and literally associated with and representative of the traits and struggles of childhood. he is "the most popular and classic cultural image of child personification in the literature of China" (2). the portrayal of the child - what traits they embody, which authorities they subvert, how their agency develops and affects the world around them - will change with the sociopolitical environment of the country, and portrayals of nezha have always changed along with it, for the reason that his image is inextricable from that of a child's (3, 4). he is a representation, reflection, and symbolization of the youth.

(some media puts more emphasis than this on others, i.e. the songs used for the '03 cartoon opening and closing, which really emphasize him being little, being young (少年), and being the same age the presumably child singer (他的年纪跟我一般大) lol)

(this paper looks at the appearance of nezha in various medias for the past ~100 years, including adult portrayals, although it does make the assumption that adult actor = adult character and girl actor = girl character which is.. not really correct imo… also it includes 1979 nezha naohai as part of its 'adult image' era which is ????? so i would take its conclusions with a grain of salt and just look at its descriptions.)

you're also going to get a different answer if you look at it from a more religious viewpoint. as far as i know, he has religious iconography as both a child and as an adult, but his appearance is much more varied and doesn't necessarily have the same collective set of easily recognizable traits. here are some posts with artwork and statues of nezha (interspersed with some of hong hai'er): x y z.

however, the thing is that i don't think many modern adaptations can make the claim that they drew from a religious iconography basis more than they drew from the most popular cultural image of nezha. i then wish they would be more cognizant of the fact that, in the source from which they drew, nezha is most widely recognized as a kid, and treat that with respect.

obviously nezha is not always portrayed as a child. nezha is not always anything, there are just recurring visual and thematic elements that make him a cohesive and recognizable figure, i.e. the twin buns, the iconic weapons, the lotus imagery. being a child or a youth is also one of these things, and its significance, imo, is well analysed and documented.

at the end of the day this answer is only so long-winded because it's the internet. go text your parents and ask them how old they think nezha is.

[intertexts]

anyway my next clay project is going to be a set of ceramic-and-cloth dolls !! i'm interested in american folk dolls-- little corn husk guys, bedpost knob dolls, weird-faced-ragdolls-- & the obvious often not particularly skilled effort and care that went into them-- so i wanna work in that tradition more than the porcelain art doll method...... i like the tension btwn hard ceramic and soft cloth & art object & thing for little kids to play with and have fun with!!! i want these guys to be sturdy & real toys u could drag around!! i want to push back against the classic bisque doll industrial complex & the narrow (white + feminine + skinny + fragile) window that most of them exist in & also remain cognizant of the settler-colonial mindset in which that folk tradition existed.... i want thumbprints to be baked into them forever & i wanna make cute little faces + learn how to wig them w/ yarn + sculpt tiny little hearts and stars and organs to put in the body with stuffing.......... give them little quilted tattoos and linen clothes........

[themuslimaharchive]

ASH-SHAHEED / ASH-SHAHID

(The All Observing Witnessing)

ASH-SHAHEED MEANING:

The Witness, The All-Observant, The Testifier.

Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ is Ash-Shaheed (in Arabic: ٱلْشَّهِيدُ) meaning the one who is omnipresent and all-observing. There is nothing that we do that goes unnoticed, as He is ever-present and sees everything. His knowledge comprehends all, and He will be the ultimate witness on the day of judgment.

MENTIONS OF ASH-SHAHID:

FROM QURAN & HADITH

Arabic Root:

From the root shin-ha-dal (ش ه د), which has the following classical Arabic connotations: to bear witness, to offer testimony, to have knowledge of, to experience, to be present with.

An Attribute of Ilm (knowledge):

To be a witness is an attribute of knowledge. You cannot be a witness without being present or having knowledge or so unique insight or perspective on some matter. Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ is Ash-Shaheed, THE witness. He is the knower of the Ghayb (the unseen), the things that are concealed or invisible to man. It is because of the attribute of being Ash-Shaheed that on the day of judgment, He will reveal Himself as being the witness to all that has happened.

"Return to your father and say, "O our father, indeed your son has stolen, and we did not testify except to what we knew. And we were not witnesses of the unseen," — (Qur'an 12:81)

This verse also helps us establish a connection to the previous name, Al-Ba'ith - The Resurrector. When we are raised from the grave, we will be held accountable. The only one who can be a judge is the one who has knowledge of the truth, "we did not testify except to what we knew." Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ knowledge is all-encompassing. He is Al-Alim (The All-Knowing) and Al-Khabir (The All-Aware). The explanation of the name Ash-Shaheed is similar to that of those names. We recommend reading the write-up provided for those names to become acquainted with the name of Ash-Shaheed.

Now, as a name of Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ it is mentioned throughout the Qur'an a total of 18 times.

Tip to help memorize the meaning of this name:

To help remember the meaning of Ash-Shaheed, it can be useful to make the connection in your mind with this name and the shahadah (the testimony of faith), Ashhadu an la ilaha ill-Allah was ashhadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluh (I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is his servant and Messenger).[1] Here ashhadu means, "I bear witness," "I testify" and the name of Allah Ash-Shaheed is, "The Witnesser," "The Testifier."

Reflection:

The believer benefits from knowing Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ is Ash-Shaheed. As we mentioned in previous names, it makes us cognizant of our actions. We will be held responsible on the day of judgment, so unattractive qualities within ourselves (e.g., envy, anger, pride, back-biting, etc.) should be conquered as these emotions work against you. This name also encourages humility, admitting mistakes, taking ownership over your actions, and seeking forgiveness from Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ. So on that day, these mistakes will already be wiped from your account.

Remember Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ is enough for you as a witness. Whatever good you do, if no one sees or recognizes it, it doesn't matter as Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ sees all. Nothing goes unaccounted for. Having this knowledge allows a person to drop all forms of pettiness. Who cares if you did something good for someone and it wasn't reciprocated. You invited them to your wedding, but they didn't invite you. Allah is the witness, don't let others' lack of care affect the good you can do.

References:

[1] Sahih (Darussalam) Sunan An Nasai (632) and Sunan Ibn Majah (470) | The Messenger of Allah ﷺ in the hadith said: Whoever performs Wudu and does it well, then says the shahadat. Eight gates of Paradise will be opened for him, and he may enter through whichever one he wishes.