#cog mikey

[foxsoulart]

Colored sketch of Castle of Glass Mikey.

I was vibin here, people.

[petpippin]

baby by me ─ shinichiro s.

# explicit mentions of pregnancy.

"i'm pregnant."

dropping the screwdriver onto his foot, shinichiro isn't sure if he's to jump up in pain, or surprise at your statement.

in reaction's stead, he drops the cigarette to the floor.

"with a baby?" shinichiro blurts out, eyes flitting to your stomach. flat, he realizes. you can't be too far along.

you can't help but scowl, agitated as you are anxious. terrified, really. "yes, with a fucking baby."

shinichiro doesn't seem to fare much better, having gone entirely frigid. "you're sure?"

you whip out the pregnancy test, tests in fact. five, in case the other four had been false positives. "yes."

if you'd stand any closer, you'd be able to hear the cogs wheeling within his brain.

shinichiro has gone a long way from the boy he once was, days he'd spend running the streets of tokyo turned meddling with bikes for hours on end, hauling mikey and emma to and from school, and taking care of you.

his girl.

the shop has gone quiet, as has the rest of the city, in that moment. though high summer, it's dark out. the sweltering heat of the outside is nulled by the AC that has been running since early morning.

shinichiro suddenly engulfs you in a hug, his laugh tittering and shaky. "shit," he snorts, "you're─ we're having a kid, baby."

you sniffle. "yeah."

"oh my god," he huffs, spinning you around, "i'll build the crib, don't you worry, angel. and i'll get you that ring, how does that sound?"

"a─ a ring?" you sputter, eyes blown wide.

"we don't have to get married right away," shinichiro adds hurriedly, meeting your eyes, "we don't even have to have a wedding, if you don't want!"

tearing up, you shake your head. "you want me to marry you?"

"yeah," his tone softens. it brings you back to the days you'd spend back at the sano residency; how emma and mikey followed him around like ducklings, and how shinichiro had cared for them like a father. "nothin' i want more."

you can't help but believe him. shinichiro soothes you effortlessly, rocking you in his arms, uncaring for how the oil smudges your clothes.

"nothin' i want more."

[mod-doodles]

Sydney is the reason for Carmy’s sudden interest in ‘fun and amusement’

The person that Carmy describes himself as being after losing touch with Michael doesn’t seem like someone who has ever sought out fun or amusement, in fact it seems like he’s never experienced pure unadulterated fun in his entire life. Within his family dynamic he’s the youngest of three with an abusive mother and an absent father. He adores Mikey, truly looks up to him and respects him, Mikey of course does love Carmy, but Mikey loves him in sprite of all his quirks and eccentricities. Heartbreakingly Carmy has had too dumb down what would have bought him amusement and enjoyment to fit into the dysfunctional family and not seem ‘gay’, it’s the crux of his existence. With that in mind, consider that his brother had very recently passed away, most people with that history would just plummet into a deep depression.

What changes during this time for him is Sydney’s presence. She walks into his life like a tornado and shakes thing up in such a way that he yearns for life and adventure not just passive survival. Sydney lives in her truth; food is fun, taking care of people brings her enjoyment. She’s nerdy about it unabashedly, she does her COGs and ‘randomly adds graphics’ and she wears her heart on her sleeve but lightly covers it to protect herself.

After his failed attempt to ask her out he returns to his barren apartment to google ‘fun’, so the next time he’s prepared. Carmen experiences amusement and enjoyment through Sydney hence he conceives an opportunity for him to have ‘fun’ under the guise of the menu creation. His relationship with food though daunting; is a safe space that both him and Sydney can share at this current awkward phrase in their ‘platonic but messy business relationship’. Sydney excites him and makes him feel alive!

Peep Carmy making sure Nat was gone gone before he started his fumbled locker room attempt, don’t worry we’ll get there one day. He’s keeping his private ‘amusement and enjoyment’ to himself for now but this developing love is so loud that they can’t control how it spills out at inopportune moments.

[dancingdonatello]

Hiya can I get a one-shot of 2018 f!turtles separately finding out they have a daughter with their crush? Like how would they react? Like the girl comes to the present time and they look like their respective dads and also have a hidden similarity to their "mother figure". (I hope I'm using the right gn term for it, if not I apologize I'm unfamiliar with the terms.)

Thank you

rottmnt x gn reader

When Casey introduced the new turtle to Raph and his brothers, Raph didn’t really have an opinion. That was up until Casey revealed that it was his daughter. When he asked who was their other parent or did he raise them with anyone, Casey just smiled awkwardly.

Maybe Raph didn’t know them yet.

His daughter swayed back and forth nervously, asking Casey if she really wasn’t allowed to say who in fear of breaking time rules or whatever. And that’s when it clicked for Raph.

His crush, who he may or may not have been keeping away from his family so that he could spend the most time with them, did that too. Whenever they were nervous, they swayed.

It had been a week and Leo had finally decided to believe that this young turtle was his daughter in the future. She shared a lot of traits with him, not just the red stripes along his eyes. She had a good sense of humor (it had his brothers groaning), she liked comics, she liked basketball, she cracked her knuckles like he did, and she even knew some spanish.

There was one thing different though. She had a totally different laugh them him. But it sounded so familiar to him that it always caught him off guard. He listened to his family’s laughter, wondering if she picked it up from one of them. But no, it didn’t sound similar enough.

It wasn’t until he was horribly flirting with you and that you ended up laughing at one of his fails when he realized that his daughter’s laugh matched yours. Perfectly matched. He didn’t know what relieved him more, that he kept you laughing in the future or that you were able to put up with him long enough to raise a kid with him.

Donnie didn’t really think he ever wanted to be a father. But when a turtle younger with a soft shell and matching goggles (which he was later told was actually his that she took in the future), he inferred that for some reason he had changed his mind. But he couldn’t figure out what could’ve been enough to convince him.

Mikey demanded a family photo upon seeing the cute turtle. He gathered up everyone, including you and Casey and Draxum.

When Donnie looked at the photo, he noticed both you and his daughter were shyly covering their smiles with a hand in the photo.

That ended up being the first bullet point in his new journal as he began to observe both your traits and his daughter traits. When he reached about 50 shared mannerisms, he finally allowed himself to believe that he had a chance with you. Or at least, future him did.

“You guys didn’t tell me you had a sister!” you complained, rocking on the balls of your feet as you observed this new turtle. She was even shorter than you and Mikey.

She nervously stepped back and mirrored you, rocking on her feet as well.

Mikey blinked and looked back and forth between you two, the cogs and wheels in his brain slowly turning.

And then you both sneezed the same way. And then you both smiled the same way. And then—

Mikey could barely contain himself. He launched over to you and grabbed you, hugging you so tightly you wheezed for air.

[oleander-nin]

Horrortober Day 24- Taken(Yandere Rise Leo x Reader)

A/N, not important: My birthday's in 8 days lol. This doesn't have anything to do with the fic, but I'm really excited because I get to take the day off and it's literally the day after Halloween. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

CW: needles, kidnapping, me trying to write Leo differently, dark themes, yandere themes.

Words: 2017

Summary: Leo's heart's in the right place. It always was.

You shift in the chair you were tied to, familiar wooden structure being the same one used for Casey just a few months before. You never imagined yourself in it, especially not tied down. Your head was still spinning from the hard drugs going through your system, the sleep refusing to leave your mind as you fight to stay conscious even now. Leo stands in front of you, his shell against the door of his room. His eyes are cautious, a smile on his face that’s hiding the nervousness in his posture. Neither of you had spoken since you awoke, your mind too hazy to fully understand what was going on.

You try to move your arms again, looking surprised when they don’t come up. The rope dug into your skin, the ties much tighter than necessary to keep you still. Your lidded eyes turn back to Leo, your mouth opening then closing again as you try to speak.

“Why am I here?” You mumble out, your voice heavy and slurred. Leo taps his foot on the ground, not wanting to answer immediately. He seemed unsure, like he was still trying to justify to himself why you, his best friend, was tied to a chair in his room. You let your head fall back against the small bit of wall Leo was able to push you against, your eyes closing again as you try to convince the sleepy feeling to fade. The haze in your mind was slowly dissipating, but it was taking too long for your liking.

“You got hurt.” Leo finally answers, making your head perk up to look at him. You blink slowly at him, trying to decipher what he meant. You look down at your legs, seeing the dark bruises still papered over them like a toddlers attempt at painting. Each one was mottled and ugly, dark stains upon your skin. In this moment, you could barely remember where they had come from, only small instances of people crying your name coming to mind. You look back up at Leo, still uncertain how the bruises tainting your legs(and your arms from the feel of it) contributed to you being here.

Leo seems to understand the look of confusion you shoot him, his soft smile turning into a reserved frown. He taps the floor with his foot for a minute, the cogs behind his eyes turning as he comes up with a way to explain his reasoning while keeping you calm.

“You almost died yesterday,” Leo starts, his voice pained. He pushes off the wall and walks towards you, sinking to his knees as his hands rest on yours. You feel him rub the exposed skin of the back of your hand, your glassy eyes, staring down as you try to remember what he was talking about. Yesterday was a blur to you, only faint words and pain being the placeholders for that day in your mind. Leo swallows, his hands squeezing yours. “I’m not going to risk losing you like that ever again. So you’re staying here.”

Leo’s lips pull back into a small smile, ignoring your stunned face. “It’ll be fun! Like, a permanent sleepover. I’ll teach you how to properly skate, you can have whatever side of the bed you like, and you’ll get to eat Mikey’s great cooking every day. It’s not so bad.”

You stay quiet, just staring down at Leo as his smile slowly drops again, his brow line scrunched in worry. One of his hands moves to cup your face, his thumb gently rubbing your cheek while he softly coos at you. You weren’t sure how to feel about this, half of you feeling it to be a cruel prank while the other… His eyes were too genuine to be fibbing, and he’d never do something like this as a prank. Not to you.

“Leo?” You mumble, blinking slowly at him as the fog slowly starts to seep out of your brain. Something was wrong. Everything was wrong. Leo’s touch burned rather than comforted, but you couldn’t even move away. “What’s going on? I don’t like this.”

Leo lets out a slow breath, still rubbing your face. He looked agitated at your words, but was still holding a soft patience for you. You couldn’t help but be upset, knowing he was treating you like a helpless child. “I know. I know, but you have to listen to me. I’m… You don’t get a choice in this. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

Leo’s face is one of pity, like this really was something he felt was a hard but necessary thing to do. You move in the chair, hissing as the fibers of the rope dig into your skin. Leo frowns, moving from a kneel to a bowed stand as he steadies your shoulders to get you to be still. Your face scrunches up into hurt and fear as the situation starts to weigh down on you, your eyes glistening with panicked tears that weren’t ready to fall.

"How can you do this to me? I thought you were my friend!" You say, your breathing getting more and more panicked as you struggle. This was insane, Leo was insane. 

Leo frowns, his hands cupping yours as he forces you to be still from the shock of the sudden touch. His eyes bore into yours, his determined gaze unyielding. “We are friends. I’m doing this for you. Don’t you know how much I love you? How much I care?”

You whine and look away, not liking how pathetic you felt in the moment. Your brain searches for something to say, for something to get him to drop the act and let you go.

"What if someone did this to Mikey?"

Leo scoffs, a near laugh coming from his mouth as his head tilts back. He’s grinning one more, finding you amusing. You felt sick with how much it reminded you of just last week, back when you didn’t even know this was brewing just under the surface. Leo lets his grin spread lazily across his face, his posture more relaxed while he continues to caress your cheeks like he was in a trance. "Mikey would never be in this situation. Plus, if he was, he’d escape and then we’d kill whoever tried." 

"So you admit this is wrong?" I point out, hoping he would now realize how hypocritical he was being.

Leo chuckles again, squashing your wishful thinking. He lets go of your face once more, pushing up on his knees as he stands up. “Nope! I know what I’m doing. Plus, you’re here because I love and care for you, not because I want to do something bad to you. You’re safe here.”

You stay quiet, staring at him in disbelief. He was deluded, so far into his own world of wants that he doesn’t even realize his own injustice. You thickly swallow, trying to keep calm. It was Leo, Leo was reasonable. You just had to reason out of this. “But what about my family? My life? School, work, and everything I’ve been doing since, well, forever? I can’t just leave all of that behind.”

Leo scowls, rolling his eyes. He sits on his bed, starting to take off his arm and leg wrappings. “You don’t need any of that anymore. You have me. You love staying here, I’ve heard you talking to April on how much you hate school and wished you could stay with us anyways.”

Leo looks over at you with a smug grin, feeling proud of having you here with him. You don’t meet his eyes, the situation fully weighing down on you as your breathing stops for a moment. “I just went ahead and made the decision for you.”

You stay quiet. With Leo’s words and his pattern of stubbornness, you knew you weren’t getting out of this without a fight. With a shaky breath, you try again, hoping maybe you could bypass his heart and get to his brain. You just wanted to go home. “I can’t stay here, Leo. What’s Splinter going to say? Your brothers. They won’t let you keep me here against my will.”

Leo chews on his cheek, unsure how to answer. He meets your eyes, pained at the fear and worry that swells through them, but he doesn't crack. This was for you, and he would stand by that until he died. Everything was for you. “They won’t be a problem.”

Your mind instantly goes to the worst, your face falling as you gape at him. Your mouth flaps a couple times, the rope around your chest seeming to constrict even more of your breath. Your voice is airy, fear being the only thing that pushes it out. You couldn’t fathom him hurting his family, but his words didn’t give the mind much to work on other than that. “What did you do to them?”

Leo looks surprised at the question, then his face hardens. “Do you think I’d hurt my family? Is that what you think of me?”

Leo scowls, getting off the bed and heading over to a small desk with a tray of medicine and needles balanced on top of it. Your face blanches at the sight of the needles, your hands shaking as you sink into yourself as much as you can. Leo glances at you, noticing your growing anxiety, but says nothing. The smile on his face makes your heart freeze, suddenly realizing he was enjoying this. Your fear, your worry, the panic coursing through your veins. All of it was feeding into his delusion of you being the helpless darling for him to save.

Leo sticks the syringe into a small glass, sucking up whatever liquid it contained. Despite your shaking and fear, you couldn’t look away. All focus was stuck on the thing you feared, the glint of the needle making your heart hammer against your ribs. Leo continues on, not seeming to mind you panic. His gaze flickers to you for a moment, a soft smile forming that you assumed was meant to be comforting. “Sorry about this, I know you hate needles. But I really don’t want to argue the rest of the night, and pills take thirty minutes to kick in. I’ll be quick, I promise.” 

He sets the vial back on the tray, the needle loose in his hands as he walks over to you. You start to scream, completely hysterical while you rock the stationary chair. Pure adrenaline rushes through your veins, unable to calm yourself down from the one thing you knew Leo was aware you were scared of. You were certain he was doing this on purpose, his satisfied smile making you sob while he rolled you your sleeve and cleaned a small patch on your arm with an alcohol wipe.

His hand wraps around your bicep, keeping you from jerking away while he carefully inserts the needle into your arm. Your mind reels, focused completely on the needle and the intrusion in your skin as you bawl. Leo finishes the injection and puts a bandaid on your arm, smiling cheekily at you despite the trust and boundaries he just stomped on. You don’t look at him, slumping in the chair while your sobs wrack your body. He calmly stands up, crossing the room while setting the syringe back onto the tray and disposing of the needle in a small red box.

Your vision swims, the room fading and your cries quieting. Leo breathes out in relief, glad to see you calming down. He watches you fight the drug, knowing you’d succumb to it soon enough. You were so much easier to talk to when you couldn’t think. “Goodnight dear, we’ll try again when you’re calmer.”

His voice echoes through your head as you go limp, the world disappearing and mind sinking through the floor of your head. Your cries cease and Leo’s left with your sleeping self once more, his mind already coming up with a million different ways to convince you of your place by his side.

[daisynik7]

Heart on a Sleeve

Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x Original Female Character

Rating: Mature

Word Count: ~6.3k

cw: explicit language, switching POVs (2nd and 3rd person), established relationship, kissing, suggestive touching, sexual tension

Summary: You and Mitsuya make your budding relationship public and things only continue to grow from there. The Tokyo Manji gang successfully absorbs the Leviathans all thanks to the efforts of new captains Tetta Kisaki and Shuji Hanma. Despite Mikey’s praise for them during this month’s meeting, Mitsuya remains wary of the two. His suspicions only increase when he runs into them while on a date with you. 

Author's Note: This took me so long to write, but I did it and I am proud of it. I thoroughly enjoy writing about the honeymoon phases in a relationship, so this was a fun one for me. Thanks for the love and support on this so far and I hope you like where the story is going so far. Thank you for reading.

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Sunday night, still reeling from the glorious high of breakfast with your new boyfriend Takashi Mitsuya, you call your best friends to break the news.

“You’re what?!” Keiko exclaims, her shriek loud through the phone. 

You lower the volume, not wanting to be overheard by your parents downstairs. “I’m dating Takashi Mitsuya,” you repeat. “From homeroom.”

Mei is quiet on the other end while you can practically hear the cogs spinning in overdrive in Keiko’s head. “Takashi Mitsuya, from homeroom?”

Losing patience, and also amused by her reaction, you confirm, “Yes.”

“Mitsuya, who’s in the Tokyo Manji Gang. That Mitsuya?”

“Yes, Keiko, that Mitsuya!”

“He’s in a gang. What is our sweet Hana doing dating a gangster?!”

Defensive now, you reply, “He’s been nothing but kind to me. You know as well as I do that he’s never caused problems for us at school. He’s only ever acted when he knew there was someone he needed to stick up for. I don’t care that he’s in a gang. He’s a good person and I like him.”

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Mei finally speaks. “You’re right, Hana. We know he’s a nice guy. We just don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all we’re trying to say. Right, Keiko?”

She clears her throat before muttering, “Yeah.”

“Takashi would never hurt me. I feel safe with him.”

At that, they relent, setting their worries aside to discuss the details on how your budding relationship came to be. They had known since the beginning that you were taking sewing lessons from him, though they didn’t have a clue how you truly felt. It started as a tiny crush, a fantasy that you kept secret because you never considered it’d ever become real. Then, when Takashi admitted his feelings towards you, everything happened so fast. It’s only now that you are able to reveal everything to your friends, who are ultimately excited for you. 

The only obstacle left is your parents. You’re sure that they’ll be in for a shock once you tell them since this is your first boyfriend ever. Naturally, they’ll be protective, as any parent would be. You’re confident that once they get to know Takashi, they’ll see him just as you do. 

Monday morning, you do your usual routine of walking to school with your friends. Takashi offers to pick you up, but until you are ready to inform your parents about him, you figure it’d be best to avoid any cause for suspicion, especially since they are already wary of him to begin with. Instead, you part ways with Mei and Keiko to meet him in the parking lot before school, greeting him with a hug. He smiles, placing his hands at your waist to pull you in closer. “Hi.”

You nuzzle your nose to his, beaming. “Hi.”

He kisses you again, his tongue slipping past your lips this time, surprising you. Heat rushes into your cheeks, flustered and excited. You break apart, burying your face into his shoulder, catching your breath while he massages your back tenderly. “Are you okay?”

You nod, still hiding. “Just…getting used to all this.”

He tips your chin up to meet your gaze, smiling softly. “Me too. If I’m moving too fast, just tell me, okay? We’ll go at the pace you’re comfortable with.” He gives you a quick smooch before locking his fingers with yours. “Ready?”

As new and foreign as all this is for you, having Takashi makes it’s much easier to navigate. He leads you through the hallways of your school, unwavering, the grip on your hand confident, despite the prying eyes and hushed whispers from your passing peers. It’s odd being the center of attention for once, but like most high school relationships, the intrigue from others will eventually fade, and all that will matter is how the two of you feel about each other. And in this moment, you’re happy to be by his side.  

Peh-Yan, one of your classmates and Takashi’s close friend from Toman, approaches you with a respectful bow. “Hello, Shimizu.”

You smile, greeting him back by his surname. “Hello, Hayashi.”

Takashi smirks, giving him a light punch on the arm. “No need to be so formal, Peh-Yan.”

He stands up straight. “Right, sorry. Anyways, I have some intel on Kisaki and Hanma infiltrating the Leviathans. Thought I’d pass on the information to you in case you were interested.”

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, facing you. “Toman stuff. I’ll see you later in class, okay? Let’s eat lunch together.” He gives you a peck on the cheek, letting you go. 

Part of you wants to stay, to listen in, but you know better than to intrude on topics that don’t pertain to you. You wave goodbye, heading to your classroom alone, your skin tingling with his warmth, already missing it.

~~~

Mitsuya never imagined himself to be a doting boyfriend, but he quickly finds himself adapting to that role almost too easily. In their only shared class, he spends too much time staring at the back of her head, admiring how cute she is. The few times she glances back at him to flash him a grin, his heart swells and he’s itching to hold her again as soon as class is dismissed. Usually, he’d eat lunch with Peh-Yan out in the courtyard or alone inside the home economics room while working on his latest sewing project. However, this entire week, he sits with his girlfriend and her friends. Mei and Keiko are nervous around him at first, unsure how to interact with a delinquent. But with Hana’s help and support, he gradually falls into place with them, finding topics to discuss that all of them can connect on. 

They aren’t able to spend much time together after school, not with the both of them being preoccupied with extracurriculars. So, Friday remains a special day for them. It’s their first sewing lesson since everything changed a week ago. Mitsuya is a bit nervous, wondering if he’ll be able to focus on the actual lesson when he gets so easily distracted by her presence. When she meets him inside the home economics room, cradling her helmet, a pleasant smile on her face, all his worries disappear. Even if he does get distracted, who cares? He’s happy to be spending this time with her, alone.

She drops the helmet onto the usual desk, stepping closer to him. “Hi Takashi.”

“Hi Hana,” he responds, closing the distance between them with a kiss. They’ve gotten more comfortable doing this, their lips brushing seamlessly, his hands always finding the plush curves of her body. He loves the way she feels under his touch, on his mouth, against his chest. All the spaces of him that felt empty before are now full, all thanks to her. 

Before they get carried away any further, he pulls off reluctantly, steadying himself before explaining what they’ll be doing today, eyes flitting back to her lips, now slightly swollen from their kisses. It’s happened several occasions so far this week. Their chaste kisses turning into more, both of them chasing their hunger little by little, teasing that fine line inch by inch. Mitsuya has managed to contain his excitement, though it’s getting more and more difficult, especially with her gradually testing the waters. A soft moan against his lips, her fingers toying with the elastic of his pants, her tongue pushing up against his, mouth open for him to explore and enjoy. He’ll continue to stand by, waiting until she’s ready to take the next steps forward. Despite how eager he is, nothing’s more important to him than making her feel safe. 

Their lesson today results in a heart patch sewn onto the sleeve of her jean jacket. She admires it silently as Mitsuya puts away the sewing machine and the rest of his materials into one of the cabinets. When he’s finished, he returns to her side, draping his arm over her shoulders, pressing a smooch to the side of her head. 

“The machine made this way easier than I thought it would be,” she comments.

“It usually does,” he says, running his finger over the stitching. “Before you know it, you’ll be an expert.”

“I doubt it. But that’s okay because I have you. If this patch here ever comes off, I’ll go straight to you.”

He raises a brow at her, teasing, “And who says I’ll help you?”

She tugs at his collar, peering up at him, smiling. “I guess I just assumed, now that we’re boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“You’re right. I’ll always be here to stitch your little heart back on.” He leans in, meeting her lips in a passionate kiss, surrounding her in his arms, the fluttering in his belly growing erratic. The door is closed and all the other students have already left for the day to enjoy the weekend. Mitsuya’s favorite spot is an empty classroom after school, and they happen to have this one all to themselves. As if on cue, his phone vibrates in his pocket, and before he checks it, he knows it’s his mother reminding him that she’s leaving for her shift soon. Disappointed, they break apart, gigging as if they were caught doing something naughty while they gather their belongings, heading towards his bike outside in the parking lot. On their way to his house, her grip is snug on his waist, holding him tightly. He’s reminded how good it feels to ride with her behind him, keeping her safe, keeping him safe. 

They behave themselves in front of his sisters, only exchanging subtle glances and grazes when they’re absolutely in the clear. He’s tempted to skip today’s Toman meeting, hoping to spend the rest of the night by her side, but given Peh-Yan’s news from earlier this week, it’s an important one to attend. Begrudgingly, he says his goodbyes, sneaking a kiss to Hana’s cheek before he leaves for the shrine. 

As usual, Draken is waiting for him at the bottom of the steps, leaning against his Zephyr. He smirks as soon as he sees him, giving him a congratulatory pat on the back. “My man. Did you finally get some tonight?”

Mitsuya rolls his eyes, shrugging him off. “I told you, we’re taking things slow. Besides, we were watching the brats. We couldn’t do it even if we wanted to.”

“Are you telling me that you don’t want to do it with her?” he teases.

“No, I definitely want to do it with her. I mean, make love to her,” he corrects himself, blushing. 

Draken snorts, not one to indulge in euphemisms. “So when do you think the two of you will start fucking then?”

He grimaces at his vulgarity before answering, “I don’t know. It hasn’t even been a week yet. We’re taking it one day at a time. It’ll happen when the time is right.”

Draken digs into his pocket to retrieve a lollipop, unwrapping it to stick into his mouth, sucking on it loudly. “Alright, it’s your dick. I’m just here to offer you some moral support, man-to-man. Dragon-to-dragon.”  

Mitsuya chuckles. “I appreciate it.”

They wait a few more minutes, chatting idly about other topics. Emma seems to be doing well so far in her pregnancy. Draken continues to cook whatever she’s craving at the time, from chicken katsu curry to spaghetti and meatballs. They don’t know the gender yet, though they don’t really seem to care; they’re both just ecstatic to be having this baby in the first place. Mikey remains oblivious to the fact that his sister is with child and that his right-hand-man is about to become a father. According to Draken, he continues to be a recluse, despite their efforts to reach out to him. It seems like forever now that Mitsuya has seen Mikey outside of these Toman meetings. He remembers vividly the tears it Takemitchy’s eyes over a month ago now, worried about their friend, their leader. He’s gone. And I don’t know where to find him. Maybe it’s time they finally made a real effort to bring him back. 

From the corner of his eye, Mitsuya spots Kisaki and Hanma, the newly appointed captains, leading a group of unfamiliar faces up the shrine steps. He assumes it’s members of the rival Leviathan gang. The two must have been successful in their mission to infiltrate and absorb them, which doesn’t change Mitsuya’s opinion about them. Peh-Yan warned him about this earlier in the week and anticipates Mikey’s reaction to this recent development. 

Takemitchy eventually arrives with Chifuyu, the two of them still the best of buddies. They greet the others cheerfully, waiting for Hakkai, who is always the last to arrive, fashionably late with a toothy grin on his face as they all berate him playfully, joking about how he was with yet another chick right before this. Draken, who always has a sixth sense about these things, deems it time to begin, leading his brothers up the shrine steps. Mitsuya always gets a swell in his chest when they’re together like this, nostalgic and proud to be in Toman. If only Mikey were here to join them like he used to.

In their usual formation, the men face Mikey, who’s front and center, Draken standing beside him. His eyes are noticeably heavy from either exhaustion or loss of sleep, maybe both. There’s an unsettling lack of emotion in his expression. He used to burn so bright with passion and intensity, something they all admired about him. It’s what got them to form Toman in the first place. Now, it’s as if the fire has dimmed to the tiniest ember, flickering just enough to barely survive. 

After going over standard housekeeping issues, Mikey moves on to the main topic of tonight’s meeting. “Kisaki, Hanma, come forward,” he announces, beckoning them towards the front. They step towards him, smug grins on both their faces. Mitsuya can’t help but roll his eyes, already annoyed.

“I’d like to recognize these two for successfully following through with their mission. The Leviathan gang is no more. We welcome its past members into Toman as one of our own. Show them the respect they deserve.”

There are loud whispers amongst the crowd, everyone turning to look at the new brothers, who are intimidating in terms of numbers. There’s at least twenty of them, most of them built like brick houses. Mitsuya has always felt odd whenever previous rivals gangs join them. There’s always that initial distrust, considering they were just at each other’s throat prior. But he’s learned to accept it for what it is, trusting Mikey to make the right calls. 

“Anything you’d like to share with us?” Mikey opens the floor to the two captains. 

Kisaki, of course, takes the opportunity to speak, his voice as slimy as ever. “Toman welcomes the Leviathans with open arms. All these men will surely make a great addition to our crew. Not only are they abundant in muscle, they are clever and cunning. Exactly what Toman needs to continue its reign over Tokyo.”

Hanma adds, “It was a real bitch to convince them to join us, but it was all worth it. You’ll see soon enough,” he smirks, licking his lips. 

“I’m sure we will,” Mikey says with a small smile, the slightest spark in his eyes. “As far as I know, you two are the only captains that have stepped up recently. I have nothing but the highest respect for you.”

More grumbling from the crowd, especially from the remaining captains. Draken’s brows are tight, clearly offended by the subtle diss. Chifuyu scoffs quietly, nudging Takemitchy, who looks like he’s near tears. Have their personal lives gotten too much in the way of their duties to Toman? Have they all let Mikey down?

When the meeting ends, they break formation to gather into their smaller circles. Chifuyu is still peeved, complaining to them. “Respect? To those two bastards? Has Mikey lost it?”

“Hey, watch it,” Draken warns. “I’ll admit. I’ve been too busy with the baby.”

“And I’ve been busy preparing for university, I’ve totally neglected Toman!” Takemitchy admits. “I don’t blame Mikey for being annoyed with us.”

Chifuyu throws his arms up, frustrated. “What does he expect us to do? He hasn’t reached out to any of us, doesn’t even talk to us anymore. How are we supposed to do anything if he’s completely ghosting us?”

From his peripheral, Mitsuya notices Mikey walking away from whatever private discussion he’s having with the old Leviathan gang. Before he can go anywhere else, Takemitchy calls out for him, waving enthusiastically. “Mikey!”

Chifuyu shakes his head. “Takemitchy, you idiot,” he mutters.

They all turn to their leader, who stares at them, eyes cold, palms in his pockets. He doesn’t move for a couple of seconds, and Mitsuya thinks that he’ll ignore them completely, which wouldn’t be surprising. But then, he takes slow steps towards them, expression unreadable. When he’s there, none of them are sure what to say, until Takemitchy breaks that ice. “Let’s go to Danny’s tonight! Just like old times!” he suggests, desperate.

Late night dinner at Danny’s was routine for them back when they were young, dumb, and broke. The food was mediocre at best, but the memories they shared there is what kept them coming back. Pancake eating contests, where Mikey would always come out victorious. Flirting with their favorite waitresses to get extra French fries. Loading up on the free refills of soda to compete in burping competitions. It’s more nostalgic than anything. Gradually, as they got older and busier with life, Danny’s become less frequent. Maybe this is what they need to get back into the normal swing of things. 

Mikey doesn’t say much, except for giving them a small nod and muttering a quiet, “Sure,” his hands still buried in his pockets. At least it’s something. 

~~~

It’s past midnight by the time Mitsuya arrives back home. You’re half-asleep on the couch with the TV on in the background. The girls are snoring in their room, tired after playing with you all night. He rouses you awake, caressing your cheek sweetly as he kneels on the floor beside you. “Hey cutie, I’m back.”

The pet name catches you off guard. You beam at him, tugging him by the neck to meeting his lips with yours. He smiles into this kiss. “You like that, huh?”

Nodding, you answer, “Yeah, I do.”

He deepens the kiss, running his fingers through your hair, tongue flicking against yours. Soon, you’re both breathing heavily, lips smacking loudly. Before it gets any further, you break away from him, giggling. “Takashi.” 

Pressing his forehead to yours, swallowing hard, he whispers, “Yeah, I know. I know.”

You grin, sitting up on the couch to make room for him, patting the space beside you. “How was the meeting?”

He sits down, holding your hand, resting his head on your shoulder. “It was good. We went out for a bite after and it was really fun. Mikey joined us and it was just like old times.”

“Mikey?” you ask. You’ve heard that name before, but you barely know anything about Toman, simply because you’re too nervous to ask, embarrassed to be so nosy. 

“He’s Toman’s leader. He’s the reason Toman is what it is. He started it all. Recently, it seems like he’s been distant from us. But tonight, I think we finally got him back.”

You squeeze him tight. “I’m happy to hear that.”

He doesn’t explain any further, enjoying the comfortable silence between you. Eventually, he says, “We should go out on a real date tomorrow. My mom doesn’t work until night, so we can spend the day together. What do you think?”

“I’d love that.”

He sits up, grinning at you. “Want to just stay the night?”

You laugh. “I don’t think my parents would like that, considering they have no idea we’re officially dating yet.”

“Then maybe we should tell them soon, over dinner. I really want them to like me.”

“I’m sure they already like you!” you answer, half-heartedly. In all honestly, you have no idea how they feel about him, except for that short conversation you had previously over dinner. You wonder how they will react when you tell them he’s your boyfriend, that you even have a boyfriend. You’d be lying to yourself if you say you aren’t anxious about it. “Let me talk to them first and we can arrange something, okay?”

He smiles brightly, pinching your cheek. “Don’t be nervous! I’ll work my charm on them, you’ll see.”

Mitsuya drives you home after a few more snuggles on the couch. Your parents are asleep by the time you walk through the door, quietly slipping out of your shoes and sneaking up the stairs into your bedroom. You don’t fall asleep right away, staring blankly at the ceiling, excited for tomorrow’s date with your boyfriend. He plans to pick you up at eleven in the morning but doesn’t elaborate on any more details. You wonder what he has in store for the two of you. 

The next morning, you eat breakfast before getting ready for the day ahead of you. You make the brave decision to inform your parents about where you’ll be off to today. Clearing your throat, you brace yourself, confessing, “I’m going on a date today. With Takashi Mitsuya.”

It’s the most jarring silence for the next ten seconds. Your mother gawks at you, dropping her fork onto her plate with a harsh clink. Your father’s face is twisted in an expression akin to him witnessing some sort of apparition or horrible monster. Given their reactions, you almost regret being so honest with them, though a small weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Your mom is the first to speak, tone unnaturally high-pitched when she responds, “Oh! Is this a study date perhaps? Are you preparing for an upcoming exam?”

You shake your head. “No. We’re just hanging out.”

“Hanging out,” she repeats, slightly breathless now. “You’re hanging out with a boy?”

“Yes,” you answer plainly, maintaining your patience as the cogs in her head start spinning faster, finally understanding. 

“Oh. Okay,” you mother says, at a loss for words. Your dad remains speechless, clearly flabbergasted by the mere idea of you spending time with someone other than them or Keiko and Mei.

Before they can begin a full-fledged interrogation, you quickly scarf down the rest of your breakfast on the plate, standing up and announcing, “I’m going to change now, bye!”, sprinting up the stairs without any further explanation. For now, it seems you’ve dodged a bullet.

For today’s date, you decide to wear a floral sundress that ends just above your knees, something you’re comfortable and confident in. You keep your hair the same, unsure what else to do with it. You stare at your reflection in the mirror a while longer than usual, nervous though you know you shouldn’t be. Takashi has been nothing but kind to you, so you have no reason to believe he’d care so much about your appearance. Still, you want to make a good impression on him, especially since this is your first official date. 

When he texts you that he’s waiting outside, you give yourself one last glance in the mirror, rushing out of your room to slip into your nicest pair of sandals by the doorway. Your mother and father both appear beside you, watching. “Be careful,” your mother comments, crossing her arms over her chest. Your father hums, still incapable of forming words as a response. 

Turning the knob to leave, you smile at them. “I will.” 

To your surprise, Takashi stands on the other side of the door, flashing that signature grin, waving politely. “Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Shimizu.” He has a backpack slung over his shoulders and you notice that his Impulse is nowhere to be seen, so you assume he walked here. 

Your mother returns his smile as best as she can, though she’s obviously still wary about the whole situation. “Hello, Mitsuya. What are your plans today with our daughter?”

Your cheeks get hot, embarrassed by her nosiness, but Takashi takes it in stride. “We’re going to have a picnic at the park. I made sandwiches for our lunch. Then, we’re taking the train to Shibuya to play at the arcade. I’ll have Hana home before dinnertime, since I’ll be babysitting my sisters tonight.” 

Impressed by his answer, you study your mom’s reaction, mentally breathing a sigh of relief when her smiles grows wider, seemingly pleased. “That sounds like a fun time.” She nudges your dad. “Doesn’t that sound like a fun time, sweetheart?”

Your father’s eyes narrow, glaring at your poor boyfriend. “I suppose,” he mutters.

Takashi doesn’t waver, maintaining that easy-going expression while he bows to them. “Thank you for allowing me the honor of spending time with your daughter.”

The two of you manage to leave for your date unscathed. From the doorway, your parents watch you and Takashi walk towards the park, keeping your distance from each other until you’re out of their sight. With the coast clear, Takashi laces his fingers with yours, laughing. “Well, that was scary.”

“You were scared? You were completely cool in front of them,” you reply, surprised by his comment.

“I’m glad it came off that way because I was this close to shitting myself, especially when your dad starting staring daggers at me,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

“I’m so sorry about that! He’s been acting weird all morning since I told him I’m going on a date with you.”

“You told them that?” 

“Well, I didn’t want to lie to them,” you explain. “I think they were just shocked at first. I’ve never been out with a boy before, so naturally, they are concerned.”

He nods. “I get that. It’s nice to have parents that are always worried about you,” he muses, a glint of sadness in his eyes. “I love my mom, don’t get me wrong. But she’s always working, so she relies on me a lot to be the man of the house. Nobody ever really worries about me, y’know?”

Your chest swells with emotion, empathizing with him. It can’t be easy being forced to grow up too fast. You squeeze him affectionately. “Well, you have me now. I’ll be here to worry about you and take care of you whenever you need it.”

He pauses in his tracks, staring at you. “You mean it?”

You smile reassuringly at him. “Of course I mean it.”

He gazes at you, pulling you in close to kiss you on the lips. You melt into him, letting his tongue slip inside your mouth, deep and passionate, full of unspoken gratitude for your commitment to him. “Thank you, Hana. I – ” he pauses, swallowing whatever he’s about to admit, instead repeating, “Thank you.” You pretend not to notice it, forcing your mind to forget about it completely. 

A few minutes later, you arrive at the park, finding a good spot to settle in. It’s a beautiful day, perfect for a picnic like this. Bright sun, blue skies, and the ideal breeze. People are gathered all around you, walking along the pathway, jumping on the playground, throwing a ball in a game of fetch with their dogs. Takashi swings his bag towards his front, retrieving a big throw blanket that you lay out on the grass. He unloads his pack, displaying the sandwiches and variety of snacks he prepared, including some of your favorites. You’re dazzled by how charming this all is, how charming he is. Every day you’re together, you grow more and more fond of him. 

The two of you dig in and everything is, of course, delicious. What makes it more special is the company. It’s easy being with Takashi. Conversation flows naturally and you never have to think about occupying any spaces of awkward silence. Even when it is, it’s comfortable, the two of you basking in each other’s presence, marveling at the sights and sounds surrounding you. Children’s laughter ringing from the nearby swings, dogs barking, the gentle wind blowing through the trees. When a leaf falls in your hair, Takashi picks it off, lingering a bit longer to twirl your soft strands between his fingers. After you’ve digested enough, you both lie down, staring up at the sky, pointing out clouds shaped like cotton balls, marshmallows, and bunnies. His hand never leaves yours, always interlaced, his fingers filling in the spaces between yours seamlessly. Time both stops and passes too quickly whenever you’re with him. You’re lost in the moment, savoring each second and before you know it, it’s already time to move on to the next. “We should head to the arcade now,” he suggests, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek. 

You nuzzle into his palm, relishing his gentle touch. He gives you a smooch on the forehead. “I could lay here for hours with you. But I want to impress you with all my skills at the arcade so that you think I’m cool,” he teases.

You giggle, sitting up to help him pack. “I already think you’re cool; you don’t have to prove anything to me.”

With everything put away, the two of you take the train towards one of the more popular arcades in Shibuya. It’s teeming with kids and teenagers, typical for a Saturday. You spot several of your classmates here, who greet you with a polite wave. At one of the cashiers, Mitsuya redeems two play cards to last you enough games for the next hour. 

As expected, he suggests starting with a racing game, one where you’re propped on top of a fake motorcycle, riding through the streets of Tokyo. Seems all too fitting for him. What he doesn’t expect is for you to win, whizzing past him at the very last second before crossing the finish line. He’s thoroughly impressed, rewarding you with a proud kiss on the cheek. 

You go through a variety of games, from classics like skee-ball and basketball, to new ones you haven’t tried before, like a zombie invasion simulation that had you screaming at the top of your lungs to your boyfriend’s delight. Eventually, you make your way to the claw machines, where Mitsuya manages to win a Hello Kitty plushie after five tries and you somehow score a squishy shark in only one. You exchange your prizes with each other, both of you cherishing them as your first gifts as a couple.

Time flies as it always does with him. Eventually, you run out of tokens to continue playing, only left now with points to redeem for prizes. On the way to the prize room, you notice Mitsuya staring off into the distance. You find out who he’s looking at; there are a group of boys in the signature Toman jackets gathered on one side of the arcade where the shooting games are located. Most of them are burly and it’s hard for you to believe that they’re your age, maybe even younger. There’s a shorter boy amongst them, blonde hair and glasses that gleam against the bright lights of the arcade. You’ve never seen him before, though something about him gives you an unexplainable chill.

“Are those your friends? Do you want to say hi to them?” you suggest.

Takashi snaps out of it, surprised that you caught him. “No, that’s okay. It’s our day today, remember? No need to drag you into any Toman business.”

You’re tempted to argue with him, not at all minding being introduced to this part of his life. However, he seems determined not to do that in this moment, so you let it be. 

You take your time perusing, making note of what you can afford with the total number of points the two of you managed to accumulate throughout the day. It’s clear that he’s distracted now, not nearly as chatty as he was earlier, the most subtle glint of worry on his face. Halfway through, he announces, “I’m going to use the bathroom. Just stay right here, okay? I’ll be back.” He walks out briskly, leaving you alone. You sigh to yourself, already lonely without him. You dawdle even more as you admire the big prizes on display, contemplating saving your points to redeem one of them someday in the future. 

“Got enough for that?”

The unfamiliar voice startles you. You turn to whoever is speaking, surprised to find a tall, lanky boy standing beside you, grinning. His hair is black, though he’s got a blonde stripe down the middle. A long, golden earring dangles on his left lobe. He’s wearing the recognizable Toman jacket. 

You swallow, suddenly nervous under his gaze. “What?”

“I asked if you have enough points for that.” He points at the giant Pikachu plushie you were just admiring. “Because if you don’t, I can definitely lend you some.”

“That’s very nice of you, but I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate me accepting things from strangers.”

His smile grows bigger, showing his teeth, amused by your response. He holds his hand out. “Shuji Hanma.”

Hesitant, you end up taking it, introducing yourself. “Hana Shimizu.”

At that, his eyes widen and his grip on you becomes tighter. “I guess we’re not strangers anymore.”

~~~

He should have ignored them completely, Mitsuya knows that. He also definitely shouldn’t have left Hana alone. But seeing Kisaki all buddy-buddy with the old Leviathan gang members gives him an uneasiness that he can’t shake. So, he pretends to need the bathroom to excuse himself, just for a few moments to get some intel on what they might be up to. It’s for the good of Toman, that’s his justification for it. 

Luckily he’s in casual clothes today and not in his Toman jacket, so he blends in with the crowd easily as he maneuvers through the arcade towards Kisaki. Eventually, he finds a spot behind one of the arcade games that gives him coverage to remain hidden while within earshot of the group. 

They watch as one of the bigger guys shoots his toy gun towards the screen, an intense look on his face, the other boys surrounding him cheering him on in the process. Kisaki’s expression remains neutral, as always. They remain like this for a while longer, and Mitsuya starts to believe his efforts are useless. About ready to return to his girlfriend, he pauses when he hears something that piques his interest. 

“I bet Kisaki can’t wait to pull the trigger on Mikey, am I right?” One of the Leviathans nudges him playfully, pointing at the gun. 

Kisaki shoves him away aggressively, glaring at him. “Shut up. Don’t say such stupid things out in public.”

“Hey, there’s no one here but us, man! Chill!”

He grabs him by the scruff, fingers clenched tightly to his collar. “Oh? Is that what you think, you fucking imbecile? For your information, Hanma is greeting a fellow Toman brother right now.”

Struggling to speak with Kisaki’s knuckles against his throat, he croaks, “Who?”

“Takashi Mitsuya.”

At his name, Mitsuya leaves his spot, sprinting back to the prize room in a panic. He’s an absolute idiot to think that they didn’t notice him earlier. An even bigger idiot for leaving Hana alone, vulnerable to Hanma. But he has no idea who she is, right? There’s no way he could know. He vividly recalls the meeting from a few weeks ago. I guess I’ll just have to find out who Shimizu is myself. The subtle threat from his sleazy mouth. What could that asshole possibly want with her? Mitsuya is too afraid to find out. 

On his way, he catches Hanma exiting the prize room with that signature smug smirk. “Little Taka, fancy meeting you here.”

Mitsuya glares at him. “Hanma.”

He points his thumb behind him, over his shoulder. “Finally got a chance to meet your precious Shimizu. I can see why you’ve been hiding her from us. She’s a really good girl.”

Mitsuya’s fists are unbearably tight at his sides, trembling with anger. He’s on the verge of swinging, wanting to see his ugly mug all scrunched up from his fist. However, he manages to control himself. Through gritted teeth, he growls, “Leave her alone.”

Hanma holds both hands up to him in false surrender. “Hey, I was just being polite. Saw you earlier, enjoying your cute date, thought I’d say hello. Oh, and Kisaki sends his warm regards.”

The urge to inflict violence upon the man in front of him is getting more and more difficult to suppress with each slimy word that comes out of his mouth. He’s incapable of formulating a coherent response, body shaking with rage. He always planned to keep Toman away from her as much as possible, thinking that’d be her safest option. Now, she’s become acquainted to it and in the worst way possible. 

Hanma forces a chuckle. “You better get back to sweet Hana, now. Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting any longer or someone else might just come along and take her.” He shoves past him, hitting his shoulder hard with his own.

Before he can walk away, Mitsuya grabs him by the collar, tugging him close, voice low and threatening. “Don’t fucking talk about her. Don’t fucking look at her. Don’t even fucking think about her. Got it?”

Hanma laughs maniacally, clearly enjoying this side of Little Taka. “If you mind your business, we’ll mind ours.”

Mitsuya releases him, watching him disappear into the crowd of people without exchanging anymore words. He’s attempts to collect himself, returning to Hana, who stands at one of the corners, still inspecting the prizes. When she sees him, she smiles, seemingly unfazed. “Everything okay?”

For a moment, Mitsuya believes that all of it was a bluff. He slides his hand around her waist, pulling her in close. “Yeah. You?”

She rests her head on his shoulder. “Yeah. I met one of your Toman brothers. Shuji Hanma. He seems…nice.” There it is. The falter in her voice. The hesitation. The lie. 

Deciding that now is not the time to discuss it, Mitsuya nods, not saying anything else. 

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

New Art? Okay

I'm speedrunning this though

Takemichi:

- four-leaf clovers (his and Hinata's matching necklace; luck)

- cogs (time leap)

- morning glories? (love, innocence, promise?; can't find much about the Japanese symbolism, nextttt)

Mikey:

- manjis (toman, his name, harmony, good fortune)

- red roses (deep love, romance, passion)

- a crown (well, it's Mikey)

Draken:

- two dragons — one can be seen on his sleeve, the other on his pants (wealth, perseverance, wisdom, power, strength. Dragons are protectors as well)

- flowers, don't know which

Mitsuya:

- three petals flowers, don't know which

- owls (good luck, protection against suffering/hardships)

- his and Draken's dragon inside the top part of the outfit (like he hides his dragon tattoo) (meaning: same as ^ for Draken)

- manji (I'm guessing every toman members has them here but there's only Mikey and Mitsuya's inside clothes we can see; harmony, good fortune)

Chifuyu:

- snowflakes, for his name

- irises (purity, fending off evil spirits, hope, faith, loyalty, good news…)

- waves (renewal, cleansing, the flow of life, power/resilience, luck)

Baji:

- forget-me-nots (true love, don't forget me (duh)) not sure if it's actually forget-me-nots tho

- bamboos (leaves) (strength/resilience, flexibility/adaptability, prosperity)

- crosses (don't carry much meaning unlike if it was Taiju – Baji has been drawn wearing a cross necklace more than once and Japan likes the 'Christian aesthetic'. At worst, it could represent his death and the fact he was the first death Takemichi didn't prevent even tho he was there)

Ran:

- orchids, for his name (are seen as expensive and luxurious flowers)

- butterflies, well-known pollinating insects (believed to be human spirits last comming on earth, in the disguise of a butterfly, transformation, resilience, good luck, prosperity, happiness)

- spider web (like his tattoo on his chest) — the web is on the left (from our perspective) while his tattoo is on the right

Rindo:

- Bellflowers, just like his name (love, honesty, gratitude, humility)

- bees; other well-known pollinating insects

- spider web (like his tattoo on his chest) — he only has the right sleeve on where the web is so we can see his side of the tattoo he got (on the left, for us)

Izana:

- peacocks (kindness, care, love. In Buddhism peacocks are tied to Kannon, who is herself tied to compassion and mercy) (Japanese phoenixes are often depicted as the mix of a peacock and a pheasant)

- yin-yang (tenjiku's symbol; balance)

- chrysanthemums: the flower of the Japanese imperial family

Shinichiro:

- cogs (time leap)

- tiger lilies (wealth, confidence, in Buddhism: mercy and compassion)

- chidori (lil bird; longevity, courage, determination, tenacity, perseverance)

- just grass/weed? or not?..

Sanzu:

- lotus (chastity, purity, linked to Buddhism)

- temari (lucky charms)

- knots, Mizuhiki (Japanese tradition) probably

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

yeh i am mentally asigning the fnaf cast bugsonas now cus oooh what if they were little guys :]

Bill is a Long-Nosed Weevil cus like... look at them. They're also pretty common in the UK and they can infest stored foods and rot them- just like Bill does with people's lives!

Henry is a Mole Cricket cus crickets construct things and Mole Crickets have those strong front legs for digging. They're also pretty bulky. Crickets also sing and so does Henry :]

Mikey is a Roly Poly cus there's that parasite that can attack them and also they eat dead things. Mikey's whole deal is his closeness to death and him cleaning up after his dad so. Also Mikey would roll up into a ball like that if he could.

Paul's a standard Worker Ant. A cog in the capitalist machine. The poor guy.

I think Jerry's some kinda Nomad Bee. Easily mistaken for a wasp and solitary. Very bright and kinda shaped funny. Endearing little guys.

[side-shuffling-hyperfixations]

TMNT - Some Say The World Will End in Fire (Some Say In Ice)

Summary: One wrong move leads to a deadly domino effect, which Leo and Raph have to endure firsthand.

We’ll be right behind you. That was what Leo had said, had sworn with such earnest ferocity just to convince Donnie to get moving already. Mikey was the first domino to fall without getting back up and whenever that happened, all the rest in the row ought to know their roles by now. As front man it was Leo’s job to make a push, bait and lure as many enemies as he could handle at once, to buy time for Raph. As the tank Raph’s job was to find or brute force an opening for their vulnerable or injured to escape. As the closest thing they had to a medic, Donnie’s job was to utilize it, grab Mikey and get him through, get him out of the field no matter the cost.

As with all other areas of battle, each of them moved as part of a unit. If any of the cogs in the machine stopped or stuttered anywhere along the course of that process, anything and everything could go wrong.

Raph should have known it would all go south as soon as Donnie got Mikey in a fireman’s carry over his shoulders and then—he stopped up short, staring at the battle like his brain had frozen while buffering. It was sudden, uncharacteristic, but Raph compensated for the unexpected loss of time by letting Hun’s fist do some of the demolition for him. With his weighty punches creating spidery cracks in the nearest tunnel wall, all Raph needed to add was one good heave of his shell and shoulder to plow a healthy opening, sheath his sai and start manhandling Don and his limp passenger through.

“Go, go!” he urged.

“I thought—Raph, in my bag—” Donnie stammered at the same time, wide eyes darting searchingly past him, only for Leo’s call to cut him off.

“We got it, Don! We’ll be right behind you!”

It only occurred to Raph after he shoved Don to the other side and lost sight of him that he might have needed that bag and its supplies to treat Mike. Hun didn’t intend to give him a chance to toss it through after them. The blow that clipped Raph’s brow was only a glancing one but from someone of Hun’s size, it still had the power to send Raph reeling back, tripping over the very bag Don had left behind. What was this, amateur hour? His stumble at least served as an unintentional dodge; the next swing was a miss that connected with a pipe in the compromised wall.

Now they were both momentarily blinded, Hun by an ice cold burst of water and Raph seeing stars. Twinsies! a Mikey-like voice crowed somewhere in his head before he shook it off. Snatching Donnie’s duffel, he lunged up over the new roaring leak to land on the big guy’s shoulders and beat him over the head with it. Not the most elegant weapon but you work with whatever you got, right? If little brother wasn’t here to pick up his own toys, big brother was gonna confiscate ’em.

From that higher vantage point he could make out how Leo was doing now. Peachy, picture perfect as always; he had adapted to move through the surprise river coming in with greater ease than some of the not-so-aquatic Foot soldiers, who found themselves quickly dispatched. In all of their rather pathetic falling and floundering, Raph almost missed the stray splashes nearby for which there were no clear visible sources. Almost.

The cloaked Foot Tech ninja, he realized. Was that what Donnie thought he had spotted? It would be his keen eye to notice a discrepancy like them in a split second and if so, he would have wanted Raph to know his bag had what they needed. Bashing it against Hun’s head once more, Raph split open the zipper track (sorry, Don) and rooted blindly through disorganized heaps of gadgets until something sharp caught on his fingers. Pay dirt! The electric counter shock shuriken soared with a flick of his wrist, ready to destabilize their cloaking technology on contact.

Maybe it was the part of his attention that had fled with the compromised half of their team, distracting him. Maybe it was the punch to his head, affecting his depth perception. Maybe it was Hun’s disoriented twisting and turning beneath him, shifting his center of gravity. Maybe it was just his reckless, stupid surety of himself, short of any of Don’s careful calculations, short of Leo’s grace or Mikey’s luck. Maybe this really was amateur hour.

As soon as the sparking shuriken made contact with the water, every one of them cried out in chorus but to Raph’s ears no one screamed louder than his brother.

__________

When Raph gradually clawed his way back to consciousness, the world was dark, ringing and stinging and tingling. In a thrumming flare of alarm he wondered for a split second if he had been blinded somehow but upon trying to blink, it felt like his eyelids had been seared shut. He hissed a sharp inhale at the resistance, which caught and burned fiercely in his lungs before coming out as a groan.

Cold droplets spattered his face and plastron, earning a flinch which in turn set off a full-body twitching. His fingers caught at sharp, wet edges of the debris underneath him, each new little spark of pain nudging him closer to unfortunate awareness.  

“Still alive, freak?” a low voice sneered, followed by a solid, blunt point pressing into the hollow of his throat to wring another ragged breath out of him. “Let me fix that for you; I think it’s high time you joined the other one in hell.”

The other one. Leo.

Realization, dread and adrenaline hit Raph like another shock to the system. Upon ripping his eyes open (burning, burning) he could only see spots but instinct could take the lead, take control of haphazard reflex. Battered fingers closed around a hefty chunk of stone, swinging with whatever panicked strength he had to connect with the face of the Foot soldier bending over him. It shattered the left eye piece in his mask, shards filling his vision as Raph displaced the bō staff he had jammed against his throat and promptly twisted it against him to shatter the right for good measure before knocking him aside.

Even that brief maneuver had every nerve singing a symphony of stop, stay still, please but if there was anyone who could push through the pain, it would be him—and if there was anyone he would push through the pain for, without a shadow of a doubt it would be—

“L-hhgh—” What a pleasant surprise, another searing spasm of his throat and lungs as he tried to hoist himself up and call out. Pick one. One step at a time. Sitting up first. Can’t stay down.

It took a couple tries, loose stone skidding precariously under trembling, aching arms but eventually he was propped up and panting like a dog for his trouble. There were those spots floating back into his vision. Awkwardly hugging his sides, Raph braced himself through a chain of sputtering coughs—revs of a rattled engine to get his voice going again.

“Ugh…Leo?”

When his gaze cleared back up, he almost wished it hadn’t. He had received a secondary shock through Hun as the conduit before tumbling backward off his shoulders to roll narrowly past the arc of the water and hit the lip right before the tunnel’s short decline. Hun had dropped like a bag of bricks right where Raph left him but wondering if he was unconscious or dead was at the bottom of Raph’s list right now. Leo had corralled the rest of the Foot forces down the slope, giving Don and Mikey a wide berth for their retreat. The water was still flowing downhill to collect in the dead end. Burnt figures bobbed and clustered with disturbing gentleness in the rising pool, ripples reflecting black and…yes, blue.

The borrowed bō was the only reason Raph’s juddering legs didn’t go right out from underneath him as he scrambled upright, charging with a mighty splash into the tangle of bodies. No hesitation, not a thought to spare for the sting of the water or the chance that he could have easily been electrocuted again, were the counter shock shuriken still active. The Foot scout who had come upon the scene must have used his nonconductive staff to swipe it out and end his comrades’ horrid flailing. Of course he hadn’t cared enough to fish them out before moving on to threaten Raph, but small mercies were still mercies and it would still work in Raph’s favor now as he wrenched his brother free of the others. Under the surface Leo’s hands were still locked up around his swords, unguided blades drifting like the shadows of long silver fish as Raph kicked the both of them arduously back to the top.

“Leo! Leo, c-can you hear me?!” Shaking with the cold now as well as the aftershock, Raph had to grab at the edge of Leo’s shell just to steady himself enough that his other hand could paw around for a pulse. Blistered scales shed from his throat under Raph’s panicked, probing fingers. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, bro, where are ya? N-Not like this, it ain’t gonna happen like this, I-I swear to—I swear—Leo?”

Oh, shell. He lunged for his wrist, then his neck again.

“No. Hey, no. Don’t, y-you’re—you’re not doin’ this to me. Where are you?!” Wrist. Neck. Clammy, flaking stillness. Nothingness. Oh, holy—“Leo!”

How long already? How long had Leo been trapped with the current running through him? How long had he been lying face down in the frigid water? How long since his heart stopped? Precious seconds were racing by, out of control; Raph was terrifyingly aware of them ticking relentlessly out of his grasp while Leo’s ticker wasn’t. He should be counting the seconds. Don would be counting already, Don would be doing compressions—

(Don would have calculated the trajectory! Donnie never would have let this happen!)

One, two, three, four—“C-C’mon, not like this, Leo. Not you! Y-You’re goin’ out with honor, not like this!” Not face down dead in the water, not because of me! Six, seven, eight, nine. “You don’t get to—Don’t you dare!” He was wasting his breath on pleas and curses, breaths he could be giving to his brother as he bore down on his chest. Focus! Ten, eleven, twelve.

How long? Was it already too—

No. No matter what proud, detached, independent impression Leo was under as leader, Raph’s role didn’t start or end with just Don and Mikey. He would brute force a different route for him too, no matter what it took. The escape Leo’s body tried for was strictly off limits.

Eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Get back here, you stubborn—

A rib, maybe two buckled under Raph’s bulk.

Sorry, I’m sorry! Twenty-two, twenty-three—Why don’t you just wake up and breathe already before I keep makin’ it worse? Will I ever stop hurtin’ you?! Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight—Can’t stop, won’t stop. Thirty. Breathe!

He poured every unspoken regret and apology into the span of two breaths and it still wasn’t enough.

Can’t stop, won’t stop. Not givin’ up on you so don’t you dare give up on me! One, two, three, four…

After another round a medic might tell him to call it, tell him it was futile by now, but that’s why Raph was the tank. Staunch, unswerving, relentless, even as his lungs hitched viciously in the emptiness.

Can’t stop.

Even as the spots prickled hotly to blot out most of his vision. They might have been tears.

We’ll be right behind you, Leo had said. Raph was not about to make a liar out of him, not out of a promise to their brothers. Don would never forgive himself for trusting it. Mikey hadn’t even been awake to hear. If those were his last words…

At that thought Raph lost count, his next gasp strangled by a raw sob.

No. Can’t, won’t, can’t, can’t, please—

Leo’s gasp was much uglier when garbled through upcoming water but Raph would swear up and down it was one of the most blessed sounds he’d ever heard.

“Leo?!” Prying the swords free of Leo’s singed, rigid fingers, barely noting the blood on one edge, Raph swept them safely out of the way and rolled him onto his side. A rambling sequence of “There you are”, “Thank you, thank you” and “You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay, brother, just breathe, there we go, that’s it, shh-shh-shhh” streamed out of him, desperately relieved, probably going entirely unheard as Leo violently retched.

The wet heaving seemed to last a whole new eternity before swinging low into a wheeze, then high into a thin, reedy, warbling wail of distress so unlike Leo that Raph was dangerously close to throwing up himself.

“I know, bud, shhh, I know…” He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. All he knew for sure was that he had to make it stop, he had to fix it.

Work with whatever you got.

Raph would never scorn Donnie’s choice of weapon again; in another more merciful world he might have even thanked the Foot scout for gifting him one in this time of need. Snagging the bō staff on the strap of the nearby duffel, Raph hauled it over, praying to Donnie himself, Master Splinter, Master Yoshi, anyone who would listen that the bag of tricks would have something actually useful, something that wouldn’t kill Leo again in Raph’s well-intentioned, dirty, stupid, careless, damaging, dangerous hands.

A rebreather, stowed in case of any exploratory ventures into the sewer tunnels known for flood risks. This was already a moment of weakness; it shouldn’t have been a surprise when the tears resurged at the miraculous sight of it.

“This’ll help, Leo, okay? I g—Donnie’s gotcha covered. Here we go. Big breaths into the mask, follow me. In…and out. You’re okay. Y-You’re still here. You’re safe.” Leaning an aching head and a shaking hand into Leo’s shell, Raph couldn’t help but repeat it on his spent exhale, just to impress the reality of it upon everyone here. “Safe.”

Here. Help. Safe.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he had chirped, period, much less to soothe any of his brothers, much less Leo, but more primal methods of communication seemed to seep through the cracks of semiconsciousness better than words. Honestly that suited Raph just fine right now. There were no right words to put toward what had just happened.

(Guilt could work. Loathing. Fault. So sorry. What if—)

Safe, safe, safe. He had to convince himself just as much as his brother. Leo’s wheezing only eased a fraction under his mask but at least the trills of terror were much fewer and farther between as Raph braced him, churring low, rusty, meaningless comfort noises.

Mikey might have had the right idea with that early checkout from the happenings of today. It would be easy to follow his lead and give in to exhaustion right here, curled into Leo’s back for support, but the voice of the guardian angel Donatello scratched at the better part of Raph’s brain. They weren’t out of the woods yet, nowhere near. He could feel it. They both had electrical burns riddling their exposed skin and though Raph’s frantic dive and Leo’s all-too-long soak may have done some good in numbing the pain, they were also left chilled to the coldblooded core.

Precious seconds were still passing, Leo’s heartbeat with them this time. Their brothers were waiting for them. The sooner they got moving, the sooner they could put this near miss behind them like all the ones that had come before.

(It wasn’t like all the others. This was all Raph’s doing. That knowledge was haunting, just as relentless as he was.)

Break about it later. Push through, pull yourself together, do what you have to. Deep breaths.

Upon inhaling to steel himself, Raph finally registered the cloying metallic tinge in the air, somewhere beyond the sour of Leo’s prior bile. Where had that come from? Oh, right, the blood clinging to one of the nearby katana. The Foot soldiers’ blood, perhaps, he wondered as he cast an assessing glance around, or possibly—oh. Just a singular foot. His own foot, to be precise, as well as four or five inches of his calf. His leg must have grazed the blade while paddling Leo to safety. Great. That was just the extra cherry on top, still oozing maraschino juice.

Shimmying his kneepad further down his leg, he cinched it as tightly as he dared over the gouge and pushed it back out of his mind. He would deal with that further once he actually started feeling it. Later, along with Leo’s inevitable irritation that Raph didn’t bother to clean the dirtied blade before pushing it back into the sheath with its twin. They both had more important things to worry about now.

“S-Sorry ’bout this, bro. Just try to keep breathin’. Slow and steady,” Raph murmured, taking care for the ribs he had cracked as he lifted Leo little by little over his shoulders. It jarred a hoarse cough out of him but nothing more.

It was probably a blessing that Leo was mostly unconscious for the ordeal that was finagling through the hole in the wall. He was heavier and slipperier to keep ahold of when waterlogged and Raph’s movements were clumsy with the cold; they bumped and caught and scraped unpleasantly more than once before eventually tumbling to the other side. Raph thudded to the ground first, knocking the wind out of him as he pillowed his brother’s fall, and he couldn’t help but wish Don had packed more than one rebreather. He probably could have checked more thoroughly if he had the time or energy but the duffel was serving a more important purpose as a counterweight on one arm so Leo wouldn’t tip him over.

Bag, belongings, bō staff turned walking stick, brother…All the essentials for an easy breezy hike home, except Mikey’s presence to quip as much. Raph really must be out of it if he was already missing some of that inane chatter but it wasn’t coming anytime soon. If the shock hadn’t fried their communications from the start, the dip in the water would have. Present company was their only company.

(Raph should have broken typical protocol and taken Mikey. Leo would have been so much safer in Don’s hands.)

Shut that up. Stuff it down. Walk it off.

He had no idea how many minutes he’d been stumbling along, lost in thought, before registering the weak, crackly chirps muffled between the mask and Raph’s shoulder.

…Moving? Leo slurred. Where? Why? Hurts.

That was the most tangible, coherent string of sounds so far. Raph hadn’t really earned the amount of relief he felt but he would take it, pulling against the duffel’s weight to give Leo’s nearest arm a brief, reassuring squeeze.

“I know it hurts but I’m gettin’ you outta here. We’re goin’ home.”

Okay? Safe?

“Yeah. You’re gonna be okay.”

…Okay? Safe?

“I don’t think Donnie’ll let ya not be, once he gets his hands on you. Not to mention Master Splinter; he’ll be pullin’ his hair out tryin’ to keep you on bedrest. On the bright side, Mikey won’t let you be bored. He’ll spoil you rotten to make it easier for you to stay put.”

Leo didn’t seem to absorb what he was saying; that or he opted to ignore it for some reason. His dangling fingers jittered, drumming without rhythm into Raph’s plastron with increasing urgency but unable to fully grasp at him. Okay? he repeated, faint but pleading. Okay? Okay?

As soon as his real question clicked, the world swerved around him. Raph had to fight back a roiling shudder of nausea, as well as a storm of wildly incredulous retorts: “Are you serious right now? Really? I can’t believe you. You’re such an idiot. Just shut up, save your breath.”

It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. The guy who got shocked senseless, left to drown, as good as dead, ribs cracked, lugged along like a sack of potatoes while delirious on oxygen deprivation…There was no reasonable world in which that guy was supposed to be worried about him.

And yet.

“Yeah. M’okay, Fearless,” he muttered, raspy, toneless and just…so very numb and sick and tired of everything all of a sudden. “M’just fine.” He couldn’t afford not to be.

Leo’s chirping quieted but his fingertips still needled at him, as if not entirely pacified—or maybe that was nerve damage flaring up.

These tunnels were unfamiliar; Raph hadn’t paid much attention to the timing or direction of their initial route over, too antsy for the fight ahead. To think he’d actually been looking forward to it, like it would be any other workout.

Don had left no trace of his escape, like a good ninja. (So much more mindful, so much more careful, even in haste, even—no, especially with a brother’s safety on his shoulders. If only—) Nothing for the Foot to follow but it wasn’t exactly helping the friendlies now either. Raph felt like his legs had taken up a mind of their own, wandering aimlessly just to keep the blood flowing. It must be effective, given how his bad leg just kept bunching and throbbing, the sensation consistent yet distant.

At least it didn’t ache as much as the endless shivering. He couldn’t make it stop. That was a good thing when fighting the potential of hypothermia, wasn’t it? Something about creating friction? Leo probably didn’t appreciate the jostling, though. His breaths faltered with Raph’s unsure footing every time, until at last…

“…M-Mask.”

It took Raph a double take to perk up and process something that wasn’t base language, especially when Leo sounded like he’d swallowed a scoopful of coal. “What?”

In his peripheral vision Leo’s legs started pedaling as if he were an overturned bug. “Mask,” he choked out again. “G-Get it—Think m’gonna—”

Raph wished he could say it was a quick and seamless crouch on his part to lower Leo onto the ground but it was more like his legs gave out to let Leo roll off of him, yanking the rebreather off just as a bonus round of gagging started. The amount of water that came up wasn’t zero but it was a lot less than the first time. It must have only lasted a minute or so before Leo collected himself enough for hazy eyes to find Raph’s.

“…Raph? We were…The Foot. The fight. What…What happened?” he croaked, fully conscious at last and looking utterly miserable for it.

Nothin’ much. I just killed you earlier with one dumb move and then brought you back to suffer the consequences. No big deal.

Rather than cracking open that horrifying can of worms, Raph fumbled the rebreather from Leo’s hand for a quick turn, selfish and stalling. Now that they were on the ground, his body was in no hurry to get back up.

“Don and Mikey got away jus’ fine,” he mumbled. Good news first to ease him in. “And then we got tased, sorta. You got the worst of it with the water leak—well, you and the shell cells. Extra crispy. Your ribs’re busted, it’s freezin’ in here and to be honest I have no idea where ‘here’ is.”

“…Okay.”

Habits being what they were and Leo being, well, Leo, Raph had half expected him to draw from the near bottomless well of innate calm and determination that only he seemed to have, shake off the damage somehow and assemble the framework of a plan as soon as he had all the facts of the situation. If he had, Raph might have been able to convince himself it wasn’t so bad. Instead they sat. After another few moments Raph pushed the rebreather back at him without really looking up. Leo accepted it without any protest, breathing a little deeper now but still unsteady as his teeth started to chatter.

“I t-told Donnie we’d…be along right after him, didn’t I? You think if he’s got Mikey stabilized and it’s b-been too long, he’d…double back for us? Come looking?”

Yet another reason Raph wasn’t the leader. If he had thought of that, he would have hesitated to stray so far from where Don had last left them. Idiot. Racking up a whole rap sheet of terrible decisions today, aren’tcha? Can’t stop, won’t stop. You got him into this mess and now you’re actively preventing the competent ones from gettin’ him out of it. Relentless, alright. One mistake after another, ya sack of stupid scum. What’re you gonna do to fix it? How’re you gonna screw it up again?

Sit there uselessly and take whatever barbs his own mind would throw at him, apparently. He didn’t have anything to deflect if it was true and at the end of the day…it was like that one movie. The only thing strong enough to penetrate the tank’s armor was itself.

That, and the utterly undeserved concern in Leo’s voice. “…Raph? Raph.” Stiff fingers probed at him again, this time on his arm, squeezing the same way Raph had squeezed his before. “…Hey. C-Can you look at me?”

Don’t you dare make him start feelin’ sorry for you. Don’t.

“Raphael?”

Aw, shell. Too late now, he’s full-naming.

When Raph obliged and glanced back at him with a bare attempt at a glare, Leo inexplicably softened further.

“…T-Thank you. For acting fast and getting us out of there to regroup. W-Who knows what could have happened if you hadn’t?”

The question had never felt like such a slap to the face, made even worse by Leo’s real hand moving with such tired kindness, shuffling as best it could up and down across Raph’s forearm as if to coax warmth back into it. It burned.

And now you’re even more upset that he’s tryin’ to be here for you? Make up your mind! Would you rather he wasn’t? Would you rather he was back there in the water?

He recoiled instantly from that thought, as well as Leo’s touch. Leo only had a split second to look startled and hurt before Raph checked himself, choked back the self-loathing, recovered the distance and pulled his brother into a hug.

“M’sorry. I’m sorry.”

“F-For what?”

“Hurtin’ you.” Continuing to hurt him even now, as his arms put pressure on Leo’s injuries and a new strain on both of their breathing, but he didn’t struggle. He relaxed into it as much as the tremors would allow, actively nestled into it, even, and Raph selfishly, selfishly tightened his grip. “Doin’ everything wrong today. It was my fault, Leo; I was so stupid, I threw Don’s shock shuriken without thinkin’ first and it—you were just—” He shook his head helplessly, echoing Leo’s rhetoric. “Who knows what could’ve happened. I-I got a real clear idea.”

He could practically hear the “…Oh” that went off in Leo’s head, could feel it in the way he tensed, swallowed with great difficulty and then slumped nonsensically closer to him.

“…Thank you,” he whispered again, tremulous but all the more sincere.

Just when Raph thought his blood couldn’t run any colder. “Wh—What? What d’you mean, ‘thank you’? How can you say that?!”

“Hh…How can you say you did everything wrong when I’m still here t-thanks to you? What could’ve…would’ve happened…y-you made sure it didn’t.”

“I’m the reason it happened in the first place!”

“It was an accident.”

Raph’s head spun, his heart hammering a lump into his traitorous throat; it was the only reason he couldn’t form another protest before Leo continued.

“When my…my plan would’ve g-gotten you all killed on The Shredder’s ship…none of you blamed me. But I s-still blamed myself and it just…poisoned me.” The mask fogged up as he let out a shuddery huff, barely approximate to a laugh. “Now I know how it feels on the other side. Raph, you and I…we really are t-two sides of the same coin. So…learn my lesson. We all make mistakes. You were doing the best you could. Okay?”

Every word was becoming fainter than the last, not only because of the drain so much talk had on Leo’s air and energy but because Raph was now abruptly, acutely aware that his head wouldn’t stop swimming. Pounding. His leg pounded with it. When he dragged bleary eyes over to check on it, he couldn’t say he was surprised to see his kneepad (calf pad?) nearly soaked through, thin rivulets of red seeping free.

Leo must have felt him shift, as he hummed questioningly and followed his gaze, only to go rigid once more. “Wait, what happened to…A-Are you hurt?”

Had he forgotten to mention that earlier? To be fair he was a little more preoccupied with his brother’s condition than his own at the time and—huh. The irony could almost make it funny. Almost.

“Raph…?”

Leo was right about one thing, he mused absently. They really were too much alike.

“Raph, when did that happen? Why didn’t you…Wait, no, no, h-hey! …’ve lasted this long…can’t pass out on me now…!”

Can’t stop. Blinding, spiraling white lights loomed, eating away at the rest of the world.

“…need you…strong till…no!…Don! Donnie…!”

__________

When Raph clawed his way back toward consciousness again, it didn’t ring like it had the first time. The heaviness of his eyelids was much more comfortable now; nothing felt like it was on fire. That had to be a good sign.

Someone else must have thought so too, as he felt a flurry of movement in the air above him and caught a snippet somewhere along the lines of “…think he’s coming around! Raphie? Are you in there?”

He only knew one turtle whose hope could be so audibly tangible in so few words. He wasn’t about to disappoint him.

“…Mhmm. Think m’ already wishin’ I stayed in there,” he grumbled, not meaning a word of it, not when he’d get to see Mikey light up at his return.

His little brother was well aware of that. The pity laugh he offered at Raph’s characteristic response was full of warmth and relief and release, like shaken pressure bubbling free from a bottle. “And miss out on my pretty face? You’d never!”

Sure enough he was hovering right overhead, beaming away despite the gauze pad secured to his temple. Raph’s brow furrowed at the sight of it, recalling the moment that the first domino fell to start this mess, but Mikey was just as quick to notice him noticing and brush it off.

“Oh, this? This is barely a booboo. You should see the other guy—the other guy being you, obviously, ’cause you look like shell, bro.”

“…Still. Probably better than I was.”

“Much better,” Donnie concurred. Under his current medications Raph merely twitched in lieu of a jump; he hadn’t even noticed him sitting on his other side. “I found you and Leo right as you passed out. Something had nicked your posterior tibial artery.”

“Yeah, I…might’ve had a little run-in with a katana.”

Don and Mikey shared a sharp look at that, with Mikey starting, “Oh, was that why Master Splinter—?” before something else in Don’s face warned him against finishing.

Raph had a feeling he wouldn’t get anywhere inquiring after that either. Table it for now. “How did you know where to find us?” he asked instead.

“Well, at first I was piggybacking off a ping from a Foot scout weapon—a tracker stored in the body of the bō staff that other scouts could trace to find out where they would rendezvous. I figured it was one of them on the hunt and if I could follow, they would lead me right to you. But once I got close enough, I could just…well. Follow your blood trail.”

“Oh.” How long had it taken him, wondering what sort of grisly picture he would find at the end of that road? Raph swallowed. “Sorry for…y’know, wanderin’ off.”

“No, I’m glad you did. If you hadn’t kept moving, the other Foot scouts would have pinpointed the position right away and found you much sooner than I could have. As it was, they got there a few minutes after me and I was more than ready for some payback.”

Mikey squirmed a little. Raph’s expression must have given something middling between skeptical and taken aback at the concept.

“It’s been a bad day for all of us, Raph.” Don’s smile was a wry, twisted thing that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “But on the bright side, I got to dual wield.”

“Annnd you and Leo are safe now! That’s what’s most important!” Mikey concluded, his chipper tone allowing no room for argument. “You’ll be back on your feet in…however long it takes for Dr. Donnie and the, uh, postal Tibetan artery to come to a compromise!”

It really was a bad day if the pseudo-medic didn’t bother to correct him but Raph knew as much already. “Speaking of Leo…”

“Stable.” And hard-won stability at that, judging by how firmly Don said it. “He’s still asleep.” There was a second cot set up on the other wall of the lab, a purposeful distance so they could talk with one patient at a level volume without disturbing the other.

The good intentions didn’t make it any more comforting…He looked too still. Raph’s leg jerked under the blankets at an abortive urge to get up and check more closely.

“Aw, you miss him already, don’t you?” Mikey read him like a book, though the teasing lilt was gentle enough that it didn’t call for a legitimate glare. “We can make it a cozy little sleepover for ’em, can’t we, Donnie? As long as Raph doesn’t snore in his usual key of Chainsaw Major?”

“I don’t—ugh, forget you. Last thing I remember, Leo was freakin’ out over me and my leg. I don’t want him fallin’ outta bed in some big hurry to get over here and brother-hen me. That’s all,” Raph grumped.

Don couldn’t argue with the validity of that concern. Mikey was more than eager to serve as support for Raph as he slipped gingerly to the floor on one foot, allowing Donnie to scoot his bed over next to Leo’s. As they stood waiting, Mikey’s smile gradually waned and the palm he rested on Raph’s shell was slightly sweaty.

“Hey, Raph?” His voice was small. “This’ll be the last sleepover you and Leo are gonna have in here for…like, a while, right? As in a long, long, long, long time?”

Raph couldn’t meet his eyes, couldn’t make any promises, but he leaned further into his arm. “That’s what I’m hopin’.”

“Okay. Yeah. All of us are on the same page there, that’s good.”

Settling back under the blankets on this side of the room was good too. All three brothers were in his line of sight: Don at the sink, cleaning up remnants of the aftermath, Mikey occupying himself by poking through the gadgets and gizmos on the desk, and Leo at his side—bandaged, cared for, face up on dry land.

Raph watched until he could be sure it would sink in, that he could still make them out in his mind after he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to reclaim him.

Until then, he would just listen to Leo breathe.

[unladyboss]

RUNNING THE BEEF, RUNNING THE BEAR. TINA MARRERO. SEASON 3 THE BEAR

I should have watched more closely in Napkins.

Just because Tina got hired as a cook, doesn't mean that's all she is.

Tina has experience in kitchen management, more than 15 years in payroll, shift organization, administration.

Plus they sent her to culinary school

Now she's in charge of purchasing.

She's also great with people.

A leader, a Manager.

She could have helped Mikey with all that stuff but it probably never came up and she was just happy to have a job.

It's a little different from Sydney who came in to cook but then did her presentation up with the COGS.

Tina could have done the same so I think it was just a confidence issue after having lost her job and not having a degree.

Definitely a confidence issue

TINA COULD RUN THE BEAR.

[highviews]

SNEAK PEEK! Tokyo, Japan, 2016. 

Bonten rises through the ranks quickly in the shadows of Roppongi’s underground. The group have slowly overtaken each district of Tokyo one by one. 

Kuronuma, an old gang, stands in their way to absorb a chosen ward in their favor. 

When Mikey discovers the identity of a young dancer in one of the clubs, the cogs of fate are shifted as the dancer and Bonten’s leader are submerged into a tangled web of shared violence and darkened inheritance. 

What one desires is a wish, that one will reap when it is amiss. 

[angstics]

the foundations of decay (2022) x vampires will never hurt you (2002)

FIRST SINGLE

Gerard Way: ["Vampires Will Never Hurt You"] will always be my favorite recording of the band, because it was the first. Having little money, or for that matter the songs, to complete a full-length album, we hopped in a van and headed to Nada Studios.

(may death never stop you booklet, march 2014)

["Vampires Will Never Hurt You"]'s recording was so passionate that, despite being intended as a demo, My Chemical Romance decided that they should use it on the album. It would go on to become the central cog of the record they were about to make, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. It would be the album that launched their career.

(not the life it seems, sept 2014)

[Under the /audio tab on mychemicalromance.com, there is a table of titles and downloadablable mp3s. At this time, there is only one audio file listed for "Vampires Will Never Hurt You". Below the table, it reads: "From our forthcoming full length album on Eyeball Recordings, due out this summer. This is a rough mix of the song. The final mix will appear on a summer sampler and the full length. Recorded March 3rd, 2002 at Nada Studios in upstate NY."]

(mychemicalromance.com, arch. june 2002)

[Alex Saavedra] gives a lot of the credit to the influential local DJ and scene stalwart the late Mario Comesanas. He used his Under the Stars slot on the South Orange, New Jersey college-radio station WSOU to air "Vampires" for the first time. Comesanas, who was also first to play Thursday on the radio, remembered the response was overwhelming. ‘The reaction was ridiculous – I knew that there was something special here,’ he said. ‘When we counted the requests, there was so much more for them than there was for any other band at that time.’

(not the life it seems, sept 2014)

Frank Iero: I think the first time we really recognized the power of social media was right around the time Thursday was being signed, Midtown was signed. Basically, all our friends from Jersey and Long Island were getting record deals. And My Chem had really just started. We recorded one song because that’s all we had the money for at that point. And we put it up on Myspace immediately and were like, “Hey listen, we’re gonna do a record soon once we get the money. But this is like a sneak preview kind of thing,” and once we put that up, there were literally major label A&Rs calling the practice studio. How they got the number for the practice studio, I have no idea.

(stereogum.com, march 2020)

Frank Iero: This is just something we figured out like... last week when I was hanging out with everybody. The first song we ever wrote and put out on the internet, like, our first single was a song called "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" and it was a song we wrote at the practice studio and recorded and put it out. And we were like, "If people like it, then... they'll let us know through this song and we'll get enough money that we can record," right? So that's what we did. That song was six minutes long. And the last song we put out ["The Foundations of Decay"] is six minutes long. Kinda crazy.

(two minutes to late night, august 2022)

Frank Iero: No one has bigger balls than us right now… I pulled out songs that like… Can you rip a song like a song that we did in 2001 and never released? […] You feel like a badass when you can do that. You feel like a musician then. Like the musicianship and the artistry, that can’t be fucked with."

(one life, one chance, oct 2022)

"favorite" / "couldn't be happier"

(mikey way and frank iero on instagram, may 2022)

STORM

Gerard Way, about recording "Vampires": We started moving the drums out to the van and I was surprised to see what it looked like outside. The sky had become dark blue and jet black and the wind was so strong we thought Mikey was going to blow away. Trees were whipping around and a huge storm was rolling in, but it was strangely warm and felt very comforting. Then I knew my vocals were going to come out just the way I wanted, I could feel this weird excitement.

(mychemicalromance.com, arch. may 2002)

(foundations of decay, may 2022)

SWARM

What's all this nonsense about bats??? The band likes bats. Who doesn't? If you've seen the band live you might have heard Gerard mention something about turning into one or unleashing some sort of swarm of them. "Unleash the fucking bats" is something they say to each other seconds before starting the set to get themselves pumped up. This all started back in Jan '02 when the band finally came together and started playing together with an intensity none of them had ever known. That fateful night they rocked together so hard that a "rock portal" opened up and out flew a swarm of giant bats. No shit.

(mychemicalromance.com, arch. may 2002)

Some rumours I have heard is that you guys like Bats, what's the fascination with them, is it the Will Haven song BATS, or you just like the species? Gerard Way: Haha...the whole bat thing came about at an early practice when Mikey joined and we finally gelled. Our energy just came together and a giant heavy metal vortex opened up and out flew a swarm of bats. We all saw it. It was like an awakening. After that we accepted bats into our lives. It was also while we were playing "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" so it probably had alot to do with that.

(anemicmagazine.com, 2002)

So, the whole vampires, bats, bloody stuff. Where did that all come from? Gerard Way: I probably haven’t ever said this in an interview, but the whole “unleash the bats” thing came from a Birthday Party song called “Release The Bats.” [...] The whole vampire thing [came up when I thought], “Man, nobody writes songs about vampires. How cool would it be?” I thought it was kind of risky or ballsy to play a rock song or a hardcore song that was about vampires.

(starsandscars.com, april 2004)

(foundations of decay, may 2022)

[tiny-paws]

Pinned post! :3

Hello!! This is a blog run by a few members of our system ( @the-honey-system ) who wanted a space for agere and therian content. We take requests for moodboards, outfits and bags!

Please read our DNI near the bottom of this post before interacting!

introductions, request info and DNI below the cut!! ^^

(divider by @firefly-graphics)

Introductions!

Mikey (he/art/paint) - rottmnt fictive

- age regressor (5-9)

Bee (they/hon/paw) - brainmade

- therian (calico cat)

The Doctor/Ten (any pronouns)

- doctor who fictive

- age regressor (1-5)

Pearl (she/her)

- hermitcraft/life series fictive

- age regressor (6-12)

Tango (flare/spark/cog/char)

- hermitcraft/life series fictive

- age regressor (3-10)

Requests:

We take requests for agere and otherkin/therian related moodboards, outfit boards and bags!

We will do:

✅ fandoms: ben and holly’s little kingom, bluey, bnha, celeste, doctor who (nuwho up to s7), dsmp, D20 fantasy high, glitter force, hazbin hotel/helluva boss, hermitcraft, life series, minecraft, mlp, nimona, pokemon, rottmnt, studio ghibli, the magnus archives, tmnt 2012, turning red, zelda botw/totk

✅ non-fandoms (eg animals, plants, colour schemes, seasons)

✅ moodboards: a collection of photos with a theme, meant to look nice!

✅ outfit boards: clothes and accessories, with a toy or fidget

✅ bags: a backpack/bag with items for a day, such as food, toys, books, etc.

We will not do:

❌ anything in our DNI list

❌ anything religious (only modern religion; ancient religion is okay!)

❌ anything medical in nature (including vets)

❌ diapers (sorry about this one, diapers are super valid, we’ve just had icky experiences)

❌ the dream team (from mcyt)

❌ cc!wilbur soot

Extra notes:

✨ please specify whether your request is agere or therian related! this makes it easier for us to make exactly what you want!

✨ feel free to request something for a fandom not listed—we might say no, but it’s worth a shot! (you might need to be more specific on themes with characters we don’t know!)

✨ be as specific as you want with requests, although if something’s too specific we might not get it perfect. if your request is very general, we may take artistic liberties!

✨ we have the right to deny any request. sometimes we just won’t feel comfortable completing something.

DNI:

- nsfw/k!nk, abd|/dd|g/variants, sh or gore, pro-ed, blogs you wouldn’t show a child

- anti-LGBTQ+, anti-xenogenders/neopronouns, racists, ableists, fatphobes, etc

-anti-agere, anti-otherkin/therian, anti-petre, participants in “cringe culture”, bullies

- tcest, blogs that post abt ince$t/pedoph!lia

- anti-self diagnosis

- syscourse, or discourse in general

(dni banner used in our posts made by @little-catgirlboy)

Tags list!

#mikey chirps — mikey’s posts/rbs

#bee meows — bee’s posts/rbs

# tango purrs — tango’s posts/rbs

#pearl hums — pearl’s posts/rbs

#ten rambles — ten/doctor’s posts/rbs

#little helpers — other members of the system

#tiny paw boards — moodboards/requests

#tiny paw styles — outfits/requests

#tiny paw packs — bags/requests

#tiny paw scribbles — doodles/art

#tiny paw talks — text posts

Userboxes!!

(theyre very fun so we have lots hehe)

(userboxes, in order, made by: @empyrangel, @me-and-the-squad-being-otherkin, @chronicallylav3nd3r, @xenohunt, @inclusysboxes, @omegathetaone, @very-normal-userboxes, @sweetpeauserboxes, @strwbubs, @strwbubs, @scungledfiles, @lil-kibby-zone, @pumpkinangelminnie, @sweetpeauserboxes, @sysboxes, @scungledfiles, @bi-lesbian, @sweetpeauserboxes, @cutevintagetoys, @tazmaboxed, @sysboxes)

[tmnt-reticent]

Since Reticent won the poll in the @tmnt-iteration-compeition , here’s Ret Chapter 10’s summary, chapter cover and first scene! It doesn’t have a title yet, i might have to ask @aaronymous999 or Starla for help with that after they betaread dbsjcbsjhcjd-

Summary: Frustrated with the rest of the team, Mikey decides to take their latest mission into his own hands. Donnie has to make a difficult decision regarding his youngest older brother.

“Dude, how the hell do you keep getting these?” Mikey questioned as he took yet another cog away from Klunk, shoving it into his sketchbook bin for safe-keeping along with the rest of Donnie's stuff the cat had stolen. He'd return it all to the softshell. Eventually.

The orange-clad teen stretched before popping himself back on the rug, beckoning Klunk over. The cat completely refused though, turning away from him. Damn. Iced out. He didn't know why she was so enticed by random pieces of metal. Although, the same could be said for his younger brother- no, no, he had to stop thinking about him. He'd just upset himself.

Donnie had been avoiding him recently. He didn't know why. He thought it was because of their confrontation the other night, but Donnie had been doing so long before that. Maybe he should start asking him to hang out again? That was what drew his brother back to him before. But at the same time, he didn't exactly feel like hanging around the softshell any time soon. He just didn't like being ignored. He only knew so many people, that was like, a fifth of his friend group gone in the blink of an eye. He'd at least like for them to be on ‘wave to each other across the room’ level for now-

“Michaelangelo! Hurry up, it's time to leave!”

Oh, right, the mission. He had more important stuff to think about right now.

The painted turtle grabbed his nunchucks, shoving them in his belt and then throwing on a hoodie before entering the living room. He was met with April and Casey, along with his brothers who were donning their own ��disguises’. Raph's would've worked if his shell wasn't so….prominent, almost poking out of the fabric. But Donnie and Leo were practically a lost cause. Donnie was struggling to keep his bo hidden, refusing Leo's demands to cut a hole in his favorite hoodie to do so. Which made sense, that wouldn't exactly hide his bo. And Leo's sheathes weren't hidden whatsoever, the bottom of his hoodie barely covering the tips. He could already tell this was going to be great. But hey, maybe the person they were hunting down wouldn't mind being confronted by 4 mutant turtles who were clearly carrying weapons.

He had to do something about this.

“Heyyy Leo, uh, didn't know if you knew this but I think your disguises might be a little bit easier to see through than mine.” It was difficult not to refer to him using a nickname like ‘Nerdo’ but Mikey couldn't afford to get on the eldest's bad side right now.

The map turtle turned to him with narrowed eyes. “What are you getting at, Michelangelo?”

“I was just wondering if I could finally put my role to use? Y'know, as the face man? I figure I can get this Venus person to lead me to the Nexus and the rest of you can just follow us. It's way easier that way.” He knew this wouldn't convince Leo, nothing ever did, but-

“Fine. Whatever. But if you do anything, and I mean anything that puts the mission in jeopardy, I will be sending you back here. Got it?”

Mikey paused for a second. Leo? Letting him take the lead? He couldn't believe his non-existent ears. But, the painted turtle quickly got a hold of himself. “You got it! I'll be the best face man you've ever seen! No jeopardy here!”

“I'm already regretting this.” The tallest sighed. “But there's more important things to worry about than whatever you're going on about. Casey! April! I need to speak to you.”

The two humans turned towards him, but April spoke first. “Did we do something, or…?”

“No, no, I just… I don't think you should come.”

Casey's countenance dropped. “What? But like, all the information is on my phone-”

“Then send it to one of us, we’ll take care of it.” The blue-masked turtle responded. Weird that he said that as if he was one of the options.

“What is this even about, Leonardo?” Ouch. April rarely used full names. Although, Leo preferred it that way. Maybe he was pissing her off on purpose?

“Look, Casey is already a criminal, he doesn't need anymore charges-”

“But you're fine with us fighting the foot clan out in the-” April began to interject.

“And you shouldn't be getting involved in all this shady business in the first place. I was willing to let it slide for a while but I'm drawing the line at underground dog-fighting rings. You have a future to think about, April. We don't. You shouldn't throw everything away for us.”

“But we're already as deep into all this crap as you guys are! Heck, Casey has been doing this shit for ages! And you're just gonna tell us to screw off? For what? You couldn't do any of this without us!”

“It's for your own good, April-”

“How do you know? We're not just going to give into any stupid little demand you throw our way because it's ‘for our own good’!” Mikey didn't know bunny ears could look so aggressive but April had managed to surprise him.

As the arguing continued, the orange-clad turtle grew impatient. He just wanted to get this mission over with. Sure, going topside is nice, but the charm starts to wear off when you're only ever allowed up there for missions.

Although, maybe he could prove that he'd be fine up there on his own… and he did know where all the information for the mission was being kept…

It may not have been his god-given role, but Mikey started formulating a plan anyway. Who said Leo had to be the sole strategist? Well, Leo did, but that wasn't the point.

-

[milks-thoughts]

IM MAKING MORE :DD since people seemed to like my last post

this is so self-indulgent I can’t. I'm sorry if this writing is dog water

not proofread!

word count: 867

TW: death, war, apocalypse, illness, it’s bad future rottmnt we all know what’s going down

“ And it was nice “

Your hands gently shook, you looked at the smooth ground. Your lover's shell laying on the wall. your mouth opens in a small breathy intake before you sobbed.

" I knew you once, and it was nice. "

You were 16, a dumb teenager doing a science experiment on your roof. the chemical compound had exploded and colored the roof in a purple disaster. you turned and looked at your friend, his normally green face was purple like yours. a small laugh left you as you tried cleaning his face. he pushed you off and grumbled at you "C'mon! let me help- I was the one who wasn't listening to you and made the mess " Donnie just glared and you playfully shoved him a bit

" I knew your brain and your heart...and all your insides "

The first major casualty of the resistance hurt. it was a group of 30 that ended like a few ants on the sidewalk. It was a mission to infiltrate the Kraang and destroy a large portion of them. Donnie's tech had been destroyed like nothing like the titanium was just toothpicks. it had hurt him but no one said anything about it. your oh so rough hands held his face gently. he leaned into your touch and you simply sat there, letting his fears wash away. your gentle touches helped to heal his scars.

"Oh, I could tell, just with a look. what you were thinking, that's all it took "

Donnie glared after Leo, it was their fourth argument of the week and it was only Wednesday. April held CJ close to her before walking off, Mikey left in the middle again. you sighed and followed after Donnie, his prosthetic leg uncomfortably moving with each stride. his eyebrows furrowed in what one person could explain as anger. But you could see, he was scared. you all were. Cassandra died and left a child with the resistance, the apocalypse was no place for a baby after all. you caught up to your lover, his gaze softened when he turned to you. you simply held his face like all those years ago. you quickly learned to become the glue after Raph died a few months back

" you shared your secrets, and I shared mine "

He looked down and spoke to you of his plans " I'm going to plant an explosive in the Kraang base " he spoke of your mission in a few months. the resistance was charging the main Kraang base. you planned to attack Kraang Prime and hit him where it hurt. your eyes widened as he continued " the explosive will only detonate if you are within ten feet of it " your eyes widened in horror "Donatello no! " you yelled at him, already knowing what he was planning " the resistance needs this! " you felt tears brim your eyes as you sucked in a shaky breath " But I need you " the silence had never been more deafening.

" silence was comfy, without having to try "

You were going over food and other supplies, and he was fixing someone's prosthetic that had gotten stuck. Donnie, he smiled at you. It was another late night when you both struggled to fall asleep. You remembered nights like this before everything happened. Nights where you would draw, or do late-night school reports. and he worked on tech, you missed school even if it was hell. the apocalypse started right as you started college, April had convinced you to join her.

" We swapped our smiles, gifted advice "

Donnie smiled widely at you once you both figured out how to get the power working again. the resistance needed power, especially in the infirmary. He glanced at your paper afterward, you were quickly placed in charge of keeping track of food and other materials " you should also write when they'll expire " you hummed in agreement. too many times the food you have relied on has gone bad. You looked at the machine he was working on " you should grease the cogs a bit more, it's not gonna go fast enough "

" yes, I knew you once "

you tried fighting against Leo's hold as Mikey led the remaining resistance away. the plan had gone terribly and Donnie, your love, your life died for no reason. All you had left was a battleshell, his mask wrapped around one of its arms. you sobbed into its hard material. you have never felt more anguish, not even when you lost your parents.

" And it was nice "

the resistance had gotten sick with some strange illness. you were recovering from an amputated leg. April stayed at your side the whole time, they all knew you weren't going to survive. Hell, you knew you won't survive. so you held out until CJ had become a nice young man, and Mikey had such power that he could open portals, where April's hair had started to become gray. you couldn't help but let go, illness was pain, it was suffering. your eyes had become sunken in and your body was refusing food. You didn't feel as tired anymore. You blinked and saw the one person you prayed you'd see in death " I wondered when you were finally going to rest my love "

[mariusroyale]

I found my people.... I found Raph obsessed sweeties 🥺 I love you.

I want to hear everything you have to say about him, thank you for this blog. It's full of food. Imma start eating

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

GO AHEAD

FEAST

IM A RAPH STAN TO THE VERY END *salute*

i have so many things to say about raph ESPECIALLY after season two + movie

garbled, nonsensical rant ahead:

because I’ve seen SO many posts about how the change in leader would have caused a rift between him and his brothers (worsening it, really, considering how he treats them enables them to behave poorly in the show)

pizza puffs is RIGHT THERE

like all through out, his bros are always reassuring, always saying ‘raph will take care of it’, just always relying on raph

AND RAPH LITERALLY BEATS HIMSELF UP OVER IT

HE LITERALLY HITS HIMSELF IN HIS CONFLICT (yeah sure haha funnie) BUT STILL!!

one could imagine the sudden change strains his relationship with his bros because despite how it, in THEORY, would have lessened the weight—

HE STILL HAS TO SHOULDER IT!!!!!

HE STILL HAS TO SCOLD LEO AND BICKER WITH HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS THE CONSEQUENCES OF NEGLIGENCE AND ARROGANCE AND IT DOESNT GET THRU LEO'S SKULL UNTIL HIS BROTHERS AND THE WORLD ARE FUCKING DYING

BC LEO’S SELF ASSURED THAT IT WOULD WORK OUT LIKE IT ALWAYS DID EVEN IF THEY DIDNT RUMINATE ON THEIR ISSUES

(i will literally fall to my knees hearing Omar's voice in the movie in how well he portrayed Raph's desperation when he realised they needed to retreat, like he sounds so fucking distraught-- LITERALLY GO WATCH IT RN, THE WAY HE SHOUTS 'im not gonna argue with you!' is so fucking sad bc he doesn't!!! THERE'S SHIT HAPPENING AND I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU RN--)

WHICH NOT ONLY WORSENS THAT RIFT

BUT THICKENS WHATEVER GLASS BETWEEN HIM AND THEIR YOUNGER SIBLINGS!! he and mikey used to be so close!! and it was to be explored that they distanced BECAUSE of raph’s smothering!! IM FOREVER MAD WE DIDNT GET THAT EP so you can imagine how Leo n Raph constantly bickering would have strained their relationships worse!!!

I can imagine how trying to recover it would be SO difficult, especially with Leo because seriously, causing the end of the world because of your own pride isn't some shit you can put under the rug, I can literally feel the cogs in my brain about how raph would be ambivalent on saying how he feels because it cost everyone so much

and because he picks his silence I can imagine Leo being all like 'be mad at me! be upset! yell at me or something, because you haven't said anything to me at all!' or some shit urhghghghr

and raph wouldn't want to upset him, doesn't want to fight, or yell, or make a repeat of the last few years because

hes fucking tired

he doesn't want to put more on Leo after almost losing him

also!! bad future:

raph’s the biggest!! and he’s so used to carrying that load that i can imagine it fucking KILLS him in the bad future!! ALL THAT- TO BE THEIR PROTECTER, ENDING UP DYING FIRST

BECAUSE OF COURSE HE WOULD

BECAUSE HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH AND IT HURTS HIM

when he shields Donnie from shredder in BN:NY, UGRHDHDH

when he shields both Mikey and Donnie when the Krang pulled that anti mystic bs!! he didn’t even think about what it would do- he just wanted to PROTECT

AND OFC RAPH SHIELDING LEO FROM GETTING FUCKING STABBED

RAPH. DIDNT. KNOW. WHERE. IT. WOULD. LAND.

a few inches lower and he would have fucking DIED!!!

he was LITERALLY doing the thing he knew best and it cost him his own autonomy and COULD HAVE LITERALLY FUCKING KILLED HIM—

BUT GOD FORBID HIS BROTHERS GET LETHALLY HURT, HE’LL TAKE IT HIMSELF BECAUSE HES JUST LIKE THAT

and that part of his character gets me so

BECAUSE he doesn’t HAVE to be such a caring overbearing worrywart like that!!!

all that parentification and the separation it left- he could have really just distanced himself entirely or just become jaded and bitter about how he didn’t get his own big brother treatment

BUT HE LOVES ANYWAY

HE'S STILL JUST A BIG GOOF

AND ITS SO 😭😭

HE CAN GET MAD AND UPSET AND STRESSED OUT AS MANY TIMES AS LONG AS IT MEANS HIS FAMILY IS SAFE AND CARED FOR

AND ITS LIKE *sobs*

i wanna know what a raph ep would be like if he just.. got a break

no really, i was so pumped to have a solo raph ep and then MY BOY GETS THROWN IN PRISON FOR LOOKING LIKE A CRIMINAL?!????

i would have gotten so violent, ong- he deserved a better solo ep >:((

and that ep after insane in the mama train, where he goes to his happy place

HES A SHOOTING STAR LIKE D’AWWJDHSJ

I WANNA SEE THIS BIG BEHEMOTH OF A TURTLE GET A BREAK FOR A LONG TIME AND HE JUST GETS TO CHILL

that being said, i am writing a fic on ao3 called ‘Red Angel Perpetuating Harm’ and i plan on uploading it once i fully manage to encapsulate raph’s trauma and what he deserves to treat it bc this fandom i stg….

guys

i get it, Leo’s there, yeah sure

RAPH IS RIGHT HERE. Y’ALL KEEP MAKIN UP SCENARIOS WHERE ITS JUST MADE UP TORTURE FOR LEO

WHEN RAPH IS RIGHT. THERE.

PERFECT. ATTENTIVE. LOVING. HIMBO.

raph’s trauma does not get addressed enough and i for one am DONEEEEE

HE GOT MUTATED. THERE WAS A SCRAPPED ENDING WHERE HE STRAIGHT UP LOST HIS EYE

HE LITERALLY ALMOST KILLED HIS BROS

RAPH ‘RED ANGEL OF PREVENTING HARM’ HAMATO ALMOST KILLED EM

AND IF YOU DONT WANT PHYSICAL ANGST-- HE'S GOT A HELLUVA LOT OF EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE TOO!!!!! HE'S RIGHT THERE!!!!!

and my fuckass fyp on tiktok is like ‘you want Leo edits?’ NO!!

whenever i get vids of raph, focusing on his loss or just cute edits im always like

bECAUSE HE DESERVES MORE ATTENTION!!!! HE'S SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER AND I ADORE HIM!!!

the fic I have rn + the outlines I've made have so far focuses on:

what happened after he got IMPALED (I really liked writing this one)

deeper into interrogation (im contemplating whether or not to write his savage self considering he is alone but idk how to implement it bc the rise Krang are insanely strong, goddamn)

and making his interactions with his bros as a Krang zombie worse

+ recovering his bonds with each brother (trying to figure out how to put all my feelings in their dynamics with raph together)

and splinter + April too, I want him to be able to vent without feeling GUILTY or BAD abt himself!!

the Leo parts of the fic I feel like u can literally smell the way I feel abt him bc JKSBHLJFBHLGBLHJFLBHJ

(no seriously, idc why fics keeps saying 'its not his fault!!' bc YES TF IT WAS.)

hoping to dive deeper into the aforementioned rift too, because god this fam needs some help but RAPH CENTRIC FIC MEANS HE GETS TO BE THE ONE TO CRY AND BE ANGRY AND UPSET TOO BECAUSE GODDAMMIT HE DESERVES TO

someone pls write other things I haven't addressed bc I wanna write em in the fic--

tldr; he best. the best big boy

here's a tiktok