#coded to me

[feelo-fick]

REBLOGS GOT TURNED OFF BUT I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH

[huellitaa]

"match my freak!" match my sweetness. match my benevolence. match my empathy. match my ability to feel emotions so deeply it tears me apart from the inside out

[thecinnamongirlll]

[coquettishpink]

[inkskinned]

it is november, and yesterday it felt like it was supposed to be snowing. in boston, november used a winter month, not a fall month. it is supposed to be chilly; rarely capping over 45F. it is a sweater-and-jacket month. it is a "maybe a scarf too" month. in my childhood, november meant blizzards and sleet.

it did not snow. tomorrow the weather predicts a high of 76.

i have spent so many years of my life studying the longterm possibilities of climate change - the culmination of capitalism wreaking havoc on the bodies of people, animals, plants - but every so often i am still shocked by something small and personal.

in a hundred years, when someone goes outside in boston - will they know the feeling of "snow in the air"?

i know it's a learned feeling, a sensation that maybe only longterm experience can teach. a few years ago, i was walking with my friend who had just moved up from the south. i said it smells like snow and she gave me this look like - what the fuck. i said it feels like snow too, which didn't help. she looked up to the bright blue sky and then back at me and then back at the sky. 12 hours later, we had 3 inches. you can just tell if it's going to snow.

except i can't tell, anymore. i stand outside in a tee shirt and watch my dog dance around a lake. we're in a drought and the skin of the water has peeled back twenty meters. the lake is tamed, quiet, puddlelike and sour. my pokemon go app warns there's a weather condition in my area.

my dog gets too hot from running and sits in the water and i want to laugh about his long frame and how awkwardly he sits - and i can't. some simian part of my brain is scratching the walls. it was supposed to snow. it was supposed to snow, but now it's warm instead.

during the last full solar eclipse, the dogs and the birds and the crickets went crazy under utter darkness. we laughed at them then, promising it will all be okay in a moment. but some part of me is still locked in that long night: some animal sensation.

something is wrong, my body says. i can't afford eggs or rent. i go outside to watch a sunset and listen to birdsong. i don't bring a jacket. allergies are killing me this season, allergies i didn't have as a kid. everyone comments that halloween has started to feel strange, offkilter. that it's hard having "holiday cheer." my body thinks it's april, and then it thinks we're in september, and then june.

something is terribly wrong, she whispers. go outside. it is supposed to be snowing.

[proxythe]

as long as ur my partner in time >_>

[es0tericdoll]

[amith4tg1rlthatyoudreamof]

born to be one with nature, forced to have a fear of spiders </3 ˙◠˙

[hkthatgffan]

ALEX PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE HANDLE THIS MUCH BABY BILL CONTENT IN ONE YEAR! 😭🥺

"These horrible wretched babies birthed from the pen of Emmy Cicierega."

[hidingundermicroscopes]

[samaraxmorgan]

Edging him until he’s completely delirious and when you tell him to “say the magic words” he accidentally says “I love you”

[kianamaiart]

Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl: Villains

[thecinnamongirlll]

[nenoname]

thinking about how stan was able to play off finding journal 2 so easily in front of so many people

but when he soon finds out 3 was under his roof for over a month he needs a moment to regain his composure

he's been looking for the books for over 30 years and they both just fall into his lap in less than a few days

[cheezy-whizz]

[dollettesarchive]

౨ৎ‧₊˚ "you're not special", the girls on my girlblog say otherwise