#cod oc incorrect quotes

[islandtarochips]

Tiala: *angry Samoan*

Tiala: *even more angry Samoan*

Tiala: *threatening murder via Samoan*

Kanoa: ………… *looking at the trio* Ok. Which one of you three pissed of the First Sergeant?

*Aly, Damien and Sparrow sweat a bit*

Damien: *pointed at Sparrow* It was Sparrow, Captain. She didn’t do the dishes just like Shark ask her to do.

Sparrow: You said you wouldn’t SNITCH, asshole!

Aly: THAT WAS UNTIL YOU PISSED HER OFF ENOUGH SHE STARTED THROWING PLATES LIKE FRISBEES, SPARROW!

Kanoa: 🤦🏽‍♂️

Hannah “Sparrow” Clayton - @revnah1406

Damien “Damo” Withlock - @kaitaiga

Alyssa “Aly” Martinez - @alypink

Kanoa Toa and Tiala “Malie” Toa - Me

[the-starry-raven]

Cloud: I got asked one time how I got so respected in Shadow Company... Cloud: One, being a medic. Cloud: Two, I drank a whole bottle of Fireball just to prove a point. Cloud: Sometimes ya just gotta out stupid people.

[cod-dump]

Moose: Listen- I'm not Canadian but I did used to live there. I am Alaskan, very much American born

Shadow: Oh. You ever visit Canada, then? You must have family there

Moose: I don't have any family. And no, I can't visit Canada. At least not legally

Shadow: ... why?

Moose: Oh, I have a bounty on my head. It's, like, on sight there

Shadow: WHAT!? What did you do??

Moose: Oh, Boss needs me- *quickly leaves*

Shadow: WHAT DID YOU DO!?

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #12 (aka more Pinterest 💩)

Gaz: *walking down the stairs in a flannel hoodie*

Price: Hey Gaz, the 90’s called-

Gaz: Yeah, because they couldn’t fucking text!

Price: Goddamn it! I’m getting tired of my men owning me.

Ghost: What did you expect? We’re YOUR men!

————

Price: You’re done, Simon. You’ve broken 68 bones.

Ghost: Boss for my dying wish-

Price: -You’re not dying-

Ghost: -Please break one more bone for me.

Price: Absolutely not.

————

*when Sherlock first met Los Vaqueros*

Sherlock: Hi! I’m Sherlock! Your base’s really cool! Not to say that you guys aren’t cool, Colonel Vargas. Thank you for letting us borrow it.

Rudy: Ale.

Alejandro:

Rudy: Can we…

Alejandro:

Rudy: Can we adopt her?

Alejandro:

-Bonus-

Nikolai: She’s already taken.

————

Soap: I know you said not to call you unless it was an emergency, ma’am. But it is and we need your help.

Laswell: Is the house on fire?

Soap: No but-

Laswell: Then it’s not an emergency. Leave me and John alone and have Ghost take care of it.

*she hangs up*

Gaz: What did she say?

Soap: Idk she said it wasn’t an emergency.

Ghost, struggling to push an oak bookshelf off of himself: NOT AN EMERGENCY?!!

————

Sherlock: It’s rather muggy today, don’t you think? Sherlock: *sips coffee from a bowl* Roach: *looks outside, sees all the mugs in the lawn* Roach: It is... Roach: *sips coffee from a bigger bowl* ----- Gaz: *texting Laswell* Laswell! Help, I'm being kidnapped! Laswell: *replying* Where are you? Gaz: I'm with some strange person! In a car. Help! Laswell: I'll call John. Price: *answering his cell* 'ello? Laswell: Where's Kyle? He told me that he's being kidnapped. Price: Gaz? Whaddya mean, he's sitting in the back seat right her- Price: Price: I'll call you back. *hangs up* Price: *turns around in his seat to be facing Gaz* GARRICK! MY BEARD WILL GROW BACK! Gaz: *pushing himself against the car door* WHO ARE YOU?! ----- [Soap opens the door to his room to find Ghost standing there with a bag of snacks in his hand] Soap: What are you doing here? Ghost: I'm here to babysit you. Soap: Babysit?! I don't need a babysitter, I'm a grown man! Soap: *opens the bag of snacks* Soap: Oooh, a juice box. ----- Soap, after the Channel Tunnel: Am I in hell? Shepherd: No, if you were down here, you'd be on a throne and the devil would be panicking. ----- Nikolai: Sherlock! Get away from Ghost, he's dangerous! Price: It's OK, Ghost could never hurt a woman! Ghost drawing knives: IS THAT A CHALLENGE?! Sherlock: omg Ghost, your knives are so shiny and cool!

Ghost:

Nikolai:

Price:

Ghost: I require a different woman!

—————

Price: What is wrong with you?

Graves: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

—————

Price: I think I’m coming down with something, I’ve been feeling nauseous lately.

Gaz: Maybe you’re pregnant.

Price:

Gaz:

Price: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot right now, you because you suggested it, or me because I just had a heart attack.

—————

[gomzdrawfr]

Raven: I know how to take apart a rifle and still find ways to use each one of them to kill a man, in fact I can kill a man with my bare hands and teeth alone. I am a fighter, a danger, and I- Price: *quokka smiles* Raven: -am weak.

[writer-of-various]

Adler, Woods, & Case: *screaming*

Emilia: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Case?!

Adler: Wait, why are you asking Case that when Woods and I are also here?

Emilia: Because Case wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

[hunterbunter3000]

Price, sighing: Bad news, Team. We're stranded.

Sweetheart: WHAT!?! NOOOOO WE CANT STAY HERE WE NEED TO LEAVE

Alex: Sweetheart--

Sweetheart, franticly pacing: The WEREWOLVES come out at night, man.

Sweetheart: I DONT WANT NO BODY TO EAT ME

Sweetheart: I GOT THICK THIGHS

Sweetheart, pointing: I GOT A FAT ASS AND TITS MAN

Gaz, worried: Relax!

Sweetheart, flailing her arms: WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT AND NO ONES GONNA FIND OUR BODIES

Price: Come 'ere.

Sweetheart: WHAT

Price, pulling her in for a hug: You're having a nervous breakdown.

Sweetheart, whining and crying immediately:

[harveywritings92]

[As Soap, Ghost and their two new civilian friends trek their way to a trailer park where a CEDA evacuation outpost is stationed.]

Soap, looking around the neighborhood nervously: Are ye sure it's safe fer us to be walkin' out like this?

R/n: You don't need to whisper, Soap. It's fine...for now.

Ghost: How can you be sure?

Wilbur: These things... They don't really like it when it's this sunny out. I think the light irritates their eyes. So there tends to be less of them out and about.

R/n: 'Cept for Hunters those poor bastards clawed their eyes out so there's nothing to irritate.

Soap: Hunters are the creepy little giggling ones that jump on ya?

Wilbur: No, those are Jockeys. Hunter's are the ones wearing hoods, they crawl around on all fours like a cat. They stalk you, pounce on you and try to tear your throat out.

Soap: *gulps*

[R/n notices something in a CEDA tent set-up in the middle of the cul-de-sac, she went in and came out with vial of green liquid.]

Ghost, grimaces under his mask: Is that what I think it is?

R/n: Yep, It's a jar of Boomer puke.

Soap, gags: Whaddya need that for??

R/n: It's something to distract the Zs with, they love this foul gunk for some reason; They'll tear apart anything to get it- including each other. I think It's better then a pipe bomb... We throw one of these the Zs come runnin' then toss a Molotov in the same spot and It's burn baby burn!

[It was a good thing that R/n grabbed that jar when she did cos the place they had to go was behind a security gate and it made one hell of a noise when they opened it, R/n threw the jar as far away as possible and it kept the infected away for a bit while they made it into the Safe room.]

[yourluckyoswald]

Sleep deprived

Price: What's wrong with you four?

Gaz: We had a bet on which one of us can stay up the longest

Ghost: It's been 6 days

Price: I can tell...

Oswald and Soap: *Fighting each other for the coffee pot*

Gaz: *Looking at Oz and Soap fighting* I'm so gonna win

Price: Uh huh. By the way, you're pouring salt instead of sugar in your cup

Ghost: *Bangs head on table, asleep and snoring*

Gaz: Haha! One down! *Sips his salted coffee, unfazed*

Price: I'm calling Laswell for a transfer...

[thatoneghostcosplayer]

Soap: Price! Bravo 0-9 Is down!

Price: What!? What happened?

Soap: he's...sick

DarkFox: *groaning* take me out of my misery....

[witchthewriter]

𝑻𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒘/ 𝑻𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒆 𝟏𝟒𝟏

Price x Wife! Reader

(also you were not the only person he messaged that to. Ghost and Laswell were victims of the prank as well)

[karlachismylife]

Graves: Do we REALLY have to take this thing on every date?..

Ved`ma: It's my emotional support stick.

Graves: It's a crowbar.

brought to you by my love @nrdmssgs

[cod-dump]

*after a mission goes to shit*

Bar: This is the LAST TIME I save your ass! Next time I'm hacking into your bank account after you croak and go live my life

Graves, laying in a hospital bed: Oh my god- Am I your best friend?

Bar: what- NO

Graves: Oh my god I am!

Bar: YOU'RE DYING NEXT TIME

Moose, walking in with a box: Boss, Gran sent a carepackage

Bar:

Moose: ... cookie?

Bar, sighing: Sure, why the fuck not

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #13 (aka Keep It Coming, Pinterest)

Nikolai: Sherlock, why are you wearing my jacket? I said you have to ask permission first!

Sherlock: I did ask. You never said I had to get a yes.

Nikolai:

Nikolai: *choked up* I-I have NEVER been so proud!

————— Price, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Roach: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Ghost, with the tone of someone who is used to Roach: Outstanding.

Price: This is what I'm talking about, people.

--------

Sherlock, playing with something in Nikolai's workshop: Onion rings are just vegetable donuts.

Price, used to Sherlock: Sure they are, kid.

Gaz: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Price, not used to Gaz: Okay?

Roach: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.

Price:

Ghost, smirking under his mask: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.

Price: *crying* Kids, please stop.

Nikolai, fascinated: No, continue, please.

Soap, next to Nikolai: *furiously taking notes*

--------

[on a mission somewhere]

Sherlock: I...I've been here before.

Nikolai: Oh my god how do you know??

Sherlock: My phone automatically connected to the WiFi.

--------

Sherlock, walking into her house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Gaz: Hi.

Ghost: Hello.

Soap: Hey.

Roach: *waves*

Sherlock: I gave you a key for emergencies.

Nikolai, also has a key: We were all out of Doritos.

Sherlock: And what do you have there, Nik?

Nikolai: Price, currently on Nik's lap: O_O

Nikolai: A smoothie.

Sherlock:

Sherlock: *dialing on her phone* Laswell, come pick up your idiots. -------- Price: Hey, Ghost. What's your favorite insect?

Ghost: *looks at Roach* :)

Roach: *looks at Ghost* :)

Price: Am I missing something here?

Ghost: I like butterfly.

Price: You mean butterflies?

Ghost: I did not.

Roach: *chucks butter across the room at Price* He did not.

Price: *sigh* Of course you didn't. -------- [at 3am]

Ghost: You can say, "Have a nice day!" without a problem.

Ghost: But you can't say "Enjoy the next 24 hours" without sounding vaguely threatening.

Soap: How did you get into my apartment? -------- Graves: *holding his phone and recording* Okay, I am home alone and I just heard a thud upstairs, there's something in my house.

Graves: *walks to the steps of the Shadow Company base* 🎵If you're to murder me, clap your hands🎵

Ghost: *clap clap*

Graves: *bolts out of the base and into the woods, screaming* -------- Alex, kidnapped and strapped to a metal table: Do you know...the muffin man?

Farah, also kidnapped: Alex, I swear-

Kidnapper: The muffin man?? What the-

Alex: YES! THE MUFFIN MAN!

Kidnapper: The...one who lives on Drury- wait is this a Shrek reference?

Alex: FINALLY! You owe me five bucks, Farah. I told you a bad guy would get it one day! -------- Soap: psst LT.

Ghost: What?

Soap: I made this friendship bracelet for you!!

Ghost: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.

Soap, dejected: Oh. Well you don't have to wear it-

Ghost: No I'm gonna wear it forever, back off.

Soap: 😊 -------- Kate: JOHN WHEN I FIND YOU YOU'RE DEAD!

Soap: *pops his head into the room, visibly shaking*

Kate: Of course it's not you, sweetie, you're perfect, keep doing what you're doing, live your life.

Soap: *nods and smiles* -------- Price: I made tea.

Gaz: I don't want tea.

Price: I didn't make tea for you...This is my tea.

Gaz: Then why are you telling me?

Price: It's a conversation starter.

Gaz: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Price: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate. -------- Price, a tired dad trying his best to train the sergeants: Okay, let's try this one more time. Collapsing building, simultaneous terrorist attack. What do you do? Soap: Gaz: Roach: Call the mili- Price: YOU ARE THE MILITARY! --------

[blingblong55]

Laswell being a mother hen and telling off Price while R/n and Soap cry behind her because Price told them they couldn’t detonate an unused part of the building. They already had it rigged to blow and we’re so excited they even bought popcorn. 🫧

I need someone to please draw this for us!

Laswell: Price let the kids play-

Price: kids?!?! Laswell, they are grown fuckin' adults!

Soap and R/N cling to Mother Laswell as they cry more

Laswell: You are making them cry, John!

Price: They were going to blow up a building

Laswell: Let the kids be kids

Soap looks at his watch and then nudges at R/N, they go to the window and watch as the said building falls

They run outside and laugh

Laswell: You see, they are safe

Price: You three will send me to early retirement

[writer-of-various]

Emilia: Go and tell Woods why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots.

Case:

Emilia: Do it, tell him what you told me earlier.

Case, stuttering: I-it's because... th-they need adult supervision...

Woods: