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hey! I just wanted to ask if you were the one who wrote the dishonored werewolf series on ao3? It's amazing and I wanted to thank you for writing it if so. it's my favorite series and I hope you're doing well!
I am in fact, that person. :O Thank you so much for enjoying it! If you haven't seen, I also did a slew of artwork for that series, all of which I still cherish to this day. I take a lot of what I made then and push it forward into the content I make now, though a lot of that stuff is behind the scenes at the moment, and not available to the public. Yet. :) here are some of my favorite arts I made for it, because I go back to them from time to time and love them to pieces (I hope to return to this style this year as well). This whole au has such a special place in my heart.
#werewolf au#dishonored#dishonored au#art#my art#fanart#my fanart#asks#anonymous#fanfic#my fanfic#blood wolf#wolfssegner#wolfbann#i get a lot of asks about this by the way#and i cherish each one#a lot of them are anonymous and so they sit in my inbox#and i look at them on a rainy day#and they make me feel better#one day i'll have the time and energy to finish writing daud's backstory#i have a direction#im just literally writing some original stuff at the moment#co-writing anyway#with a buddy#:)#but yeah i love this ii loved doing the cover art for it i love it so much
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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Steve hates to ask this of Eddie.
Really, itās a last resort sort of thing. Robinās gone for the week, some trip upstate with her family. And itās fine, theyāre close but Steveās a big boy. He can handle a week without his best friend.
But, well, itās just unfortunate for it to creep up on Steve when Robinās gone. It beingā¦ shit, how did Robin explain it? She was so much better at keeping track of all those things than he was, all the terms filed away nicely in her head to be recalled as needed. Steveās much messierā in his head, in his life.
Touch aversion, thatās what she called it. A by-product of the severe lack of touch in his childhood she had said; not enough hugs, hand holding, the works and now Steveās grown to find it too strange. Something prickles under his skin, pulls in his gut all the wrong way, when someoneās too touchy-feely with him. Robinās said itās normal, and he believes her.
It just makes it harder when this comes by. That completely strange backward want that carves into his chest, creating a chasm that just aches. Suddenly, Steve wants to be touched, needs to be touched ā like something behind his ribs is just begging for comfort in the form of touch, any way he can have it. Like some young part of him can still remember the hunger he had for it and it comes back in full force, a tender wound between his lungs.
It doesnāt happen that often ā though, itās more frequent than ever recently ā but usually, Robinās here. She can almost always tell before Steve works up the courage to ask. Twitchy fingers give him away. He hovers closer than normal, shoulders brushing more often.
She always gives him a smile, softer than her usual snark and says, āCāmere, dingus.ā and stands on her tip-toes to envelope him in a hug. Steve canāt help but sink into it, gripping her close around the waist for as long as he needs until the hole in his chest feels a step closer to patching up.
Robin also tells him he can have as many hugs as heād like but Steve is firm with himself; he only needs one, then heāll be back to fine.
It whatās he needs now. One really fucking good hug. Still, he hates to ask, least of all from Eddie, because, wellā okay, Steve has no reason to assume Eddie wouldnāt give him a hug.
Heās seen Eddieās hugs before. Like everything he does, Eddie puts his everything into it- he hugs Robin til she wheezes, loves to lift Nancy off the ground, and the hug he gives Dustin is sweetest of all, a hand on the back of the littlerās head while he does some strange little sway. Dustin always laughs, playfully shoving him away by the end but Steve knows he loves them, that it helps in more than one way.
Steve is glad that Dustin has someone, besides his Mom of course, who can hug him, because Steve canāt give that to him. Maybe one day, but for now, hugs from Steve are a rarity ā few and far in between. Maybe, he thinks, he doesnāt want to ask Eddie specifically because of that niggling feeling that comes up around Eddie, all gooey and soft. A feeling the swings too close to a crush that Steve has no fucking clue what to do about.
So, he hates to ask. Really. On the drive over to Eddieās, a hangout organised before Steve started to feel the lack of touch creep in, he runs through any other options. Wait til Robin gets back? Steveās not sure heāll make it another 4 days. When left alone, it seems to consume him and make everything harder, everything heavier to deal with.
Heās still tossing it when he climbs the steps to Eddieās trailer. Steve decides that heāll see how it goes, see if thereās an opening to askā¦semi-naturally or something. Heās not gonna spring it on the guy.
Eddie is wonderful company as always, devilish grins and god-awful comments about the film he picked. Steve feeds off it, drinking in the infectious energy. He tries to let it be enough; their shoulders pressed together, Eddieās knee knocking his when he laughs, the way Eddie leans into his space to whisper even though itās just them here tonight. Steve wants it to be enough. But even then, he can see the way his hands twitch in his lap, desperate for more.
Steve closes his eyes. Curls his hands up so tightly his nails bite into the skin. He tries to use it to wane off the feeling, the ache that sings out for Eddie beside him and it nearly works. Untilā
āSteve? Yāokay?ā Eddieās voice pipes up, making Steve open his eyes in an instant.
āHm?ā Steve hums, hoping that his casualness will be enough for Eddie to skip over his peculiar behaviour. He blinks, tilting his head just a bit to show he was confused why Eddie was asking.
Eddie chuckles lightly, gesturing towards Steveās lap, where his hands sit still clenched, white knuckled with his self-restraint. āYou seem a bit stiff, thatās all.ā Eddie rechecks. āYou good?ā
Steve opens his mouth and then closes it, forcing his hands to unclench in his lap. āI-ā he begins, then stops, unsure of what he was going to say. He did say he would look for an opening tonight. The way Eddieās regarding him, open faced with his concern, is as good as he might get.
āThis might sound a bit weird,ā Steve starts, defensiveness already tingeing the words, his shoulders curling in just a bit. Eddie could say no. Heās allowed to say no. Steve really doesnāt want him to. āLike, if you think itās weird, thatās totally fine and we can just, like, forget I said anything andāā
āSteve.ā Eddie cuts him off, a linger of an amused smile on his lips. āI donāt think Iām going to find anything you say weird, sweetheart. Shoot. Whatās on your mind? What troubles the great mind of Steve Harrington?ā
God, itās like a whole bunch of words designed to set Steveās head spinning. āThe great mind of Steve Harringtonā makes him want to scoff. āSweetheartā makes him want to swoon. He canāt decide which one he wants to do more.
āCan I-ā Steve stammers, the words halting automatically. Itās too much of a habit to swallow them down. Coercing them out takes more work. He stares up at the ceiling as he grits his teeth, releases a harsh sigh, pulling himself together. āCan Iā¦ have a hug?ā
There a moment of silence and Steve holds his breath.
āOh,ā Eddie breathes, and Steve takes his eyes off the ceiling to see just what that Oh means. Eddieās smiling, a soft one gracing his pretty mouth, and Steve thinks, maybe, one day heāll have the courage to ask for a kiss as well. Relief moves sluggishly through his veinsā Eddieās smiling, this is good.
āWell, of course,ā Eddie grins widely and opens his arms, inviting Steve in. Steve hesitates for only a moment before he leans in gratefully, his arms tucking around Eddieās midriff tightly. Eddieās arms curl around Steveās neck, pulling him in close. Itās the easiest thing in the world, sinking into it, so much that Steve tries his best not to immediately slump against Eddie. It feels a bit too pathetic, so Steve reels himself in. He canāt make his arms relax, trying too hard to take only what he needs and not a moment more.
āCāmon, Stevie.ā Eddieās voice teases beside his ear, his breath warm. āYou call that a hug?ā
He squeezes Steve a little tighter, pulling him even closer and Steve canāt help the way he melts into itā he slumps, leaning against Eddie properly and burying his quiet whine of relief into the juncture between Eddie's neck and shoulder.
āThere we go,ā Eddie murmurs comfortingly.
Eddie takes him wholly, gives a damn good Munson hug, all warmth and comfort. He smells like, well, Eddie ā a lingering scent of weed, something musky, something Eddie. His arms around Steveās neck shuffle and Steve worries heās trying to pull away so soon, only for one of his hands to tangle in the hair at the nape of Steveās neck. He combs through, light fingernails scratching at Steveās scalp and shit, Steve really canāt control the noise of contentment that slips out his throat.
āCanāt believe you got so worked up just to ask for a hug,ā Eddie tsks, tone coloured in disbelief. Steve makes a noise of protest, trying for a moment to wind it all back in but, like Eddie can sense it, heās squeezing him tighter again. He begins to rock them, a soft sway side to side that lets Steve lean on him even more. He hums a tune Steve doesnāt know, low and soft.
āMāsorry,ā Steve mumbles in reply, though heās not entirely sure what heās apologising for. For having to ask, for taking so much, for enjoying Eddieļæ½ļæ½ļæ½s arms around him just a little too much.
āWhat the fuck for?ā Eddie laughs lightly, one of his hands beginning to drum against the divots of Steveās spin. It feels like heās tapping pure delirium with each fingertip, shivers that make Steveās chest glow terribly warm. It feels good, so good to be held and honestly, Steve could stay here all night if Eddie let him. Knowing Eddie, he would, because heās that fucking nice.
That knowledge alone forces Steve to sit himself up, extracting him limbs even though so much of him mourns the warmth, the touch, that goes with it. He wants the touch but heās had enough. Some scorned part of him burns bitterly to think Eddie would give him more just to be nice. Steve doesnāt want thatā Steve wants Eddie to touch him because he wants to.
āSorry, man, I just, uh, get like that sometimes.ā Steve feels the need to explain, bringing a hand up to rub at one of his eyes. He does it half so can hide his embarrassed expression from Eddieā whoās looking at him so gently and still so so close.
āJust, ahaāā Christ, it wasnāt this awkward telling Robin. Steveās hand moves to rub the back of his neck. āSometimes I realise itās been awhile since,ā He gnaws on his bottom lip, something alike to humiliation curling in his gut. āSince Iāve had some touch. Usually, Robinās around but yāknow.ā
He waves a hand, huffing another awkward laugh. Eddie hasnāt moved much, just listening intently, his brows ever so slightly inching closer together. He looks outright concerned at Steveās next words.
āItās okay, Iāveā Iāll be good now.ā Steve nods along, like the motion will help him convince himself as well as Eddie. Heāll be okay now. Usually, one hug is all it takes. He ignores the surging tidal-wave want that is still going, still aching to be held by Eddie again. It would be selfish to ask for more. Eddie didnāt invite him around to hugā itās weird, and Steve shouldnāt- canāt ask for more.
āSooooo,ā Eddie draws out the word, an impish smile beginning to play at the corners of his lips. He opens his arms wide again. āYou donāt want another hug?ā
In his lap, Steveās fingers twitch. Eddieās eyes dart to them for a second, before fixing back on Steve. He does, he really fucking does want another hug. He canāt. Heās had enough, really, it would greedy to have more.
Steve shakes his head, forces himself to huff another laugh that accidentally comes out as a strained sigh. He smiles weakly, āNo, no, Iām good, dude. Itāsā¦ Iām okay, swear.ā
For a moment, Steve thinks heās convinced him. Eddie studies his face, his mischief slipping away as he deliberates Steveās words. His eyes narrow, arms dropping just an inch before he smiles brightly and says, āOkay, can I have a hug then?ā
Which, okay, right, Steve didnāt think of that. People donāt ask him for hugs. He blinks, a bit dumbly. Eddie is waiting, face eager and for a second thereās an expression of almost smugness on his face ā like heās about to get exactly what he wants. Because he knows Steve would never be rude and say no.
āI mean,ā Steve breathes, voice a bit tighter than heās expecting. He clears his throat. āYeah, yeah, you can have a hug.ā
āGreat!ā Eddie replies and he wastes no time. Heās all up in Steveās space, arms around Steveās waist this time. The motion takes Steve by surprise, enough that because heās not expecting it Eddieās weight pushes him back so heās lying on the couch.
If Eddie cares, he pays no mind, his head curling up into the crook of Steveās neck as he hugs him closer. His hair gets in Steveās mouth, making him splutter for a second, but Eddie just grins, wriggling closer until theyāre pressed firmly against each other. Steve would go as far as to say this is closer to cuddling than a hug, with Eddie squishing him from above, his arms around Steveās middle.
āJust so you know,ā Eddieās voice rumbles from where their chests are touching, his breath sweeping across Steveās neck. Steve shivers without meaning to, feels Eddieās responding grin even as he continues. āAll hugs requested by me are automatically 10 minutes long. Hope youāre okay with that, sweetheart.ā
Steve isnāt stupid ā he knows Eddie is doing it for him, doing it because he could see right through Steveās stupid facade, had peered his yawning hunger for touch right in the face and hadnāt blanched. Instead of feeling tricked or fooled, Steve just feelsā¦warm. Comfortable. He works his arms around Eddieās neck til their more comfortable and find the courage in him scrape his fingers through Eddieās hairā like he had done to Steve. Eddieās sighs sweetly and Steve thinks he could listen to that noise forever.
āIāmā¦ Iām okay with that.ā Steve murmurs lowly, yet he knows Eddie can hear him. Eddie noses closer, a borderline nuzzle against his neck, and further down, one his hands starts to stroke softly up and down Steveās ribs.
Steve canāt help the way it makes him freeze, the breath in his lungs holding tight as he tries to relax, tries to ignore the prickly feeling under his skin. Itās a lot. A lot of touch that Steve just isnāt used to just yet, even if he desperately craves it.
āRelax,ā Eddie whispers into his skin, a soft instruction paired with the motion, one soothing stroke up and down his ribs. Steve pushes the breath in his lungs out, forces the tension out of his body, trusts that Eddie wouldnāt be offeringā wouldnāt tell him to relax if he wasnāt allowed to.
āThatās it.ā Eddie praises, feeling the body beneath him settle and sink a little lower into the couch. āNow, watch the movie.ā Eddie instructs, jutting at the still playing screen with his chin. Steve laughs a bit, but obeys, turning his head to see what part theyād gotten up to. Theyād missed a big chunk in their hug. Steve nearly apologises for it, the words on the tip of his tongue, before he decides Eddie might smack him for it.
So, he doesnāt. He watches the film, letās the gentle touch of Eddie on his skin relax him til sleepiness starts to fill each of his limbs, heavy like lead. Eddieās hand stops moving eventually, when his breath gets heavier, lulled by Steveās scratch in his hair. A snore starts up, loud and quite frankly, annoying, and yet, Steve finds that with Eddieās arms around him, he has no trouble finding sleep.
Itās the first time in years Steveās fallen asleep in someone elseās arms. And even if he doesn't know it yet, itās certainly not the last.
now with a part two!
#woag yearning hours bro#[into a megaphone] if u project onto steve harrington put ur hands UP#i literally came home tonight like. hm might have to ask one of my flatmates for a hug#and when they go ??? whats wrong (cos this bitch never hugs)#i was fully prepared 2 be like o it has just been too long since someone touched me haha!#like thats not zeeeeeeeee most pathetic shit ever (pathetic if its me. not if its YOU)#anyways. steve get hug where ruby cannot#<3#eddie would give delicious hugs u can't change my mind#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie#steve x eddie#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#touch starved steve harrington#that bitch needs a hug#ruby writes steddie#i rlly. came home and was like BLEH feeling dump and its like 2.6k. ok girl
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In rewatching the season, I'm noticing how clever Aabria and Brennan were in crafting Tula's story. How well thought out everything was.
Specifically, the bear. It's been mentioned so many times before, but with the context of the completed season, I cannot help but be in awe at the skilful storytelling at display here. The way in which the Blue is described to appear wrong only in reference to Tula and her heart, the way in which Tula talks about curiosity and and having experienced knowing someone who died because of it. Of how Aabria describes to Izzy how Tula looks when she heals the bear, of how Aabria specifically points out that Tula recognises the commonalities between herself and the bear. These breadcrumbs that mean little in the beginning, that tell everything at the end. It's amazing, stunning, masterful storytelling. I am in awe.
#text_loke#meta from loke#Burrow's End#Burrow's End Spoilers#Aabria Iyengar#Brennan Lee Mulligan#i am forever in awe tbh#also the way i gasped at several of brennan and aabria's lines this episode#i'll need to pull some quotes from that whenever i get on my computer#and i desperately need to write a fic about everything that happened from Tula's perspective#but that would be AFTER i finally manage to finish the little beast i'm working on about that Last Fight from Tula's pov#'cos BOY i have a feeling i will write a lot. just 600 words on the intro before 'kill them all'. so y'know. a wordy little thing...#anyway. i love burrow's end so much. i cannot stop thinking about it#Dimension 20 Spoilers#D20 Spoilers
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in another life he's a curious demon with a morally grey mentality & she's a human resiting the urge to turn until she avenges her family
#guys if only i knew how to write we'd be in for a TREAT#this is not noee and lee it's...nia and len LOL jk#anyway this would be them in the apocalypse#ts4 edit#au#my edits#also why i hatee taking pics in the daylight cos#my sims melanin is like āok byeā n it makes me sob#sims 4 edit#tw: blood
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I think people forget with Cullen, and characters like Cullen, that indoctrination is a thing. We're lucky to live in an age where we have a surplus of access to resources that allow us to think critically on the structures around us, to the point where we overlook that most people won't and haven't. Cullen was raised in a backwater village where the main educators and leaders were Templars. He was likely taught scripture by Chantry Sisters, he possibly learned to read and write through them. From the day he was born, he was being taught to love and obey the Chantry with out question--and the Chantry teaches that Templars are a force of good.
So I ask you, how the hell was Cullen, at eight or thirteen years old, going to learn about the crimes of Templars? How was he going to unlearn propaganda that was fed him to him every day by people he respected and possibly loved? How was he supposed to be aware that this idolized image of Templars being the saviors of the people and even mages was a lie?
And then he gets shipped off, happily, to be trained a Templar. Again, he's put into this position where he's fed nothing but propaganda. He doesn't get a real taste of the Order being corrupted until he's out in Kinloch and he's not sure what the hell to do because what he's seeing isn't jiving with what he's been taught for nearly two decades. So yeah, he tries to justify it, he tries to have his cake and eat it too by reasoning that mages should be treated like people but also the Order wouldn't lie to him, so they must be right to act like this. The Maker always had a plan, right?
If Cullen had been lucky, maybe he could have realized earlier on that the Order was abusing mages, that he had been tricked, he could have gotten out and unlearned the bigotry that was planted inside him.
But then BAM! the Broken Circle happened and I don't see how no one gets how perfect this is for the Order? They now have a templar that is so traumatized by mages, he will literally do and say anything to justify their abuses because now? Now he's afraid.
And remember, after Origins, Cullen becomes so erratic, he has to be sent off to a Chantry to 'even him out'--where he was more than likely manipulated even further by the Chantry to be this blood thirsty agent for them. When he's shipped to Kirkwall, they could have not delivered to Meredith a better second in command.
So yeah, is it really surprising that he says shit like 'mages aren't people like you and me' when we meet him in Kirkwall? Man is sleep depraved by the looks of him, swallowing all Meredith's frenzied rhetoric on blood mages, he's seeing for himself the damage these mages are doing, he's isolated from his family, he has no actual friends, and he's living with C-PTSD among other issues. Even under the best of conditions, none of what he says or does in DA2 is surprising when you put it all together.
And yet, the man still had enough of that idealistic child left in him to realize see that Meredith was going off the deep end and that he should be protecting the mages. That's text. That's in World of Thedas. The reason why Cullen is able to turn on Meredith in the end is because he was able to see, even clouded by his fear and hatred, that what she was doing was wrong.
And all this isn't to excuse Cullen's wrongs. It's weird how every time someone brings up Cullen's history, it's assumed that it's just a justification for his actions. It's not, it's an an explanation. Cullen was a victim of the Order that became an abuser, a tool, and he is responsible for his actions.
But the thing is, by DAI, Cullen is well aware of his sins and he actively works to better himself by leaving the Order and getting off lyrium (which for most people is a death sentence). People can argue all day about whether or not Cullen's arc in DAI redeems him or was satisfying, or if he did enough to 'prove' that he was sorry or--good god--does he deserve redemption in the first place (which is such a Catholic way of looking at shit by the way; no one 'deserves' redemption; you do it to be better or you fucking don't) but the fact is that Cullen says that he wants to be better, that he sees the Order as--at the very least--flawed.
That, yes, he's still unlearning all the bigotry he held as a younger man and he's ashamed that he was like that to begin with.
You can hate him all you like, and whatever, but Cullen's story--intentionally or not--is about a man born into an oppressive society, raised to uphold its beliefs, used and abused by it, and then awakening to those lies and trying to free himself from those beliefs so he could be a better person.
And sometimes I genuinely wonder if the reason so many people hate Cullen is because they themselves might have dealt with something similar in our own oppressive society where they also had to unlearn harmful bigotry and maybe, just maybe, he hits too close to home.
#cullen rutherford#writing#this about this guy again and how he gets such an unfair shake when I know for a fact a good portion of us are no better#you can say you are that you would know as a CHILD that this was wrong but hahaha I guess some of us aren't able to see through propaganda#man is nuanced as hell and the statements 'Cullen was a victim who was brainwashed by the Chantry' and 'Cullen is a grown man who actively#hurt mages for his own selfish reasons' can co exist quite easily#you know like how Blackwall also killed an entire family for money and yet has spent years trying to atone for that mistakes#anyway I'm right get out of my house
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#dnd#curse of strahd#rahadin#dnd rahadin#dnd art#artists on tumblr#dnd character#dungeons and dragons#drow elf#dnd drow#i am goncharoving my way out here guys#wanting to do art featuring our rahadin but we dont know anything about him so im filling out the gaps vaguely#peeking just a little into his wiki page with half my eye so i can confirm One Thing#i am fighting the hardest battle over here trying to not spoil anything from how the original lore went down#i learned my lesson not to search for anything bc the guys on reddit wont bother hiding imortant details from the title#i am still laughing..when i was like collecting and writing names together i stumbled upon the name vasili which i did not remember where#that came up so i went okay imma just search it and a piano dropped on me immediately#i am still torn between: this detail fucks im glad i know vs it would have been bonkers if i experienced the piano drop during session#plus the amount im on the cos tag this info is everywhere so there is no way around it anyway
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stan twins the canon cptsd brothers i will always think about all your unaddressed issues that would make perfect plot fuel for your spinoff
and also the whole 'stan getting that poem by bill via a website which contrasts with bill getting one from the axolotl via a website' foreshadowing thing
like idk i would love something like su future but like more optimistic, aka not an accumulated breakdown that has to be mostly resolved off screen at the end :/// but something thats being kinda addressed throughout? (although would love to see one of them turn into a monster thats always fun lol)
stan having severe issues from his dad and those years of being homeless that we keep on getting more info on but never really getting confronted on (the drifter catalogue and tijuana incident...), him being completely alone for like twenty years when running the shack before soos comes along to the point that 1998 is noted as his low point, and him not really learning about bill+what he did to ford until ages after he killed him if he ever did get the full context
while i think amnesia and everyone seeing him as a hero actually helped with stan's 'i'm a worse version of my brother' thing its still a lingering issue too and we now got him being insecure over his own hands
ford being immediately thrown from 'being tortured by bill' to 'being stuck in the multiverse and being chased by bounty hunters constantly', him fully expecting himself to die when destroying bill, and him only now being safe for the first time in 30 years ....relatively safe, he's still in constant danger because of course he is
idk in the end the series wants them to be happy and they deserve it, its why i wasn't too worried about the book being like 'ooh bill is back!! and the book is haunting ford' thing cos i knew they'll be ok
#stan pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#stan twins#as for the 'still on your mind' thing to me its stan literally thinking about bill despite ford resolving to move past it#or alternatively me on my same coin theory obsession lmao#me yelling and screaming at ouroboros being used to link to the axolotl and bill and how ford didn't actually keep it#which brings up even more questions about it reappearing in the shack when stan takes over#of course even if him realising about reincarnation being a thing i think its still way less to deal with than his actual issues#something something a same soul doesnt mean much when he already proved himself a better person a million times over#idk my thoughts on reincarnation as a concept is like eh??? anyway#also completely unrelated but stan writing fanfic means he knows what soos meant when he was talking about stan fics#soos seems like a gen fic writer especially with the ones we got as those promos#the train one where he comes up with a giant backstory for the setting that has nothing to do with the fic bros is super funny#but meanwhile we have stan the canonical smut writer who had to be writing it that summer#would he be a self insert shipper? would he projecting on the duchess instead? is he both???#i have many questions#then again judging from hows theres a wedding scene that he got super emotional over he might just be a shipper????#this has nothing to do with my original post#...or does it cos the axolotl last appears reacting to stan freaking out about count li--#anyway if you think this post is longer than my usual its cos i physically made myself delete most tags and put it in the actual post
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Your half-Maiden Pyrrha AU is neat and your art is very soft and squeezable. Hope everyone gets really good hugs.
So anyway... aside from Cinder and Pyrrha's definitely toxic-yuri dreams/visions/premonitions/delusions, did either of them have a moment where such thoughts weren't toxic?
I'm not talking more wholesome thoughts, but definitely ones that just has them question their own sanity and intentions even more. More then if they dreamt of killing/getting killed by the other.
For Pyrrha, eventually she has to come to terms with the fact that she gets a thrill out of fighting Cinder (more so because she enjoys fighting someone who's actually on her level instead of being eager to avenge Jaune or whatever other excuse she's running on). I think she feels that same excitement during the fall of Beacon but it was easier to write that off as her just doing what any good huntress would do.
Cinder is a little frantic over the fact that she cant stop imagining Pyrrha killing her. Whenever they face-off she plays heavy defense, maybe even tries to flee the first time they see each other after the fall. She might bounce-back eventually because she's also batshit but for now Pyrrha haunts her
#rubulart#rwby#half-maiden au#rwby au#thoughts co-thought by hannah as always#replies#cinder fall#pyrrha nikos#lie ren#pyrrha just needs someone that can match her freak and unfortunately for cinder shes the only one#i might be writing cinder too off-base but this isnt canon anyway and i think cinder deserves to lose more#and pyrrha deserved to win more#if you can call this winning#i dont know if these thoughts are what you were asking about but it hope it landed somewhere on the mark
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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*poking my blorbos with a stick*Ā
#I was gonna write something after the poking my blorbos with a stick thing but my mind blanked and honestly I'll just leave it#it's still very accurate#I love them so much please stop almost getting yourself killed for each other holy shit#if they don't kiss next season I'm sending a formal complaint to Mr. Netflix himself#anyway I'm still clearly very deep into this fandom#also!!!!! I'm over half way into the 3rd book and FUCK it is so good!!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#I'm loving it!!!!!!! If I didn't have a full time job I would have finished it in one day I bet you#anyway#lockwood and co#lockwood & co#lockwood and co netflix#netflix#anthony lockwood#lucy carlyle#as usual I hope no one has done this one already
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elgar'nan razed the island to the ground with fire for ghilan'nain's death. his anger was so strong he lashed out not only at rook and their team, but his own forces as well. he got the dagger he needed, but at what cost? the price of his sister's life? the sister that he needed to make their dream come true, for without her the dagger is simply a weapon and not an artist's tool? will be thinking about this forever.
#dragon age#datv#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#elgar'nan#ghilan'nain#the only reason i gaf about this man is because he cares for ghilan'nain. to the point of fiery retribution it seems#idk why he didnt just have his big boy lusacan cronch rook and co from the start but buddy. how does regret feel?#āand ghilan'nain. my brilliant sister. would have forged the blight into a tool of beauty.ā AAAA#he sounds so soft when he talks about her. i need to write fic i need to i need to. theyre so twisted and wrong but there is tragedy#there too.#anyways i finished the game. im sure i'll be normal about it
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Mark Oshiro confuses me a little bit not going to lie. In the press tour for the first book all they ever talked about was how Nico is their son and Will is fine I guess. Then they said like 2 weeks before TSATS came out that they didn't understand Will's character at all and it's one of the main reasons why Will has so little POV.
Possibly unpopular opinion but I don't think it's a good, encouraging sign when the writer admits to not really caring about the deuteragonist or not even having a sense of how to write them...
Yeah, no. If you have no interest in 1/2 of the POV characters of your book, you REALLY shouldn't be writing it (or at least, not have that be a main character). Especially when the main way TSATS could have been improved is if it was primarily Will-centric instead of Nico-centric. Will basically had next to no established character prior to TSATS! He was practically a blank slate! But all the new stuff we got for Will in TSATS was so clearly disinterested and had no regard for his previously established traits (or the established timeline/canon). Which is annoying because fleshing out Will would have been the PERFECT opportunity to actually incorporate a lot of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in as a sensitivity reader, which was the ENTIRE REASON THEY WERE BROUGHT ON AS A CO-AUTHOR!!!!
As TSATS stands, there is no reason for Mark Oshiro specifically to have been the co-author instead of someone else. It's so clearly just a PR move from RR following the huge backlash Rick received due to his response to criticism on how he wrote Piper and Samirah (and Reyna and etc etc). This was immediately following Rick saying he wasn't going to write what would become TSATS because "it [wasn't his] place to." Most of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in either weren't relevant at all to TSATS or written very poorly (to downright offensively) in TSATS, so either Mark Oshiro wasn't doing their job or was not able to do their job for some reason, but either way it basically makes the theoretical justification for Mark Oshiro being the co-author/sensitivity reader irrelevant.
With Will, it was HUGE fanon back in the day for him to be trans. Trans!Will and photokinesis!Will were basically the two biggest headcanons for him (both largely popularized by Cherryandsisters). We know Rick is aware of this old fanon because he canonized photokinesis!Will. If we had gotten trans!Will, that would have been great! And then made sense why we specifically got a trans co-author! (Instead, if anything, TSATS canonized Will being cis.) If we had gotten Will being latino, that would have been amazing!!!! And also then made sense as to why they chose Mark Oshiro for the job as a latinx author/sensitivity-reader, versus potentially choosing an Italian co-author since Nico being Italian/Venetian was emphasized so much in the book (and done poorly! Yknow what they could have done to fix that? GOTTEN A SENSITIVITY READER FOR IT)! Based on the themes and focuses actually present in the book, it would have been most logical to get a queer, neurodivergent, Italian co-author or sensitivity reader who specializes in those three topics at least. But we didn't! So why was Mark Oshiro chosen instead when they only specialize in one of those topics? PR reasons. It's blatantly entirely PR reasons and no actual thought or care was put into this book (or, likely, TSATS 2 either).
It doesn't help that we're also actively being told that the published version of TSATS was a rough draft. Or that their editor blatantly isn't doing her job. Or that "The Sun And The Star" was the working title that they just kept cause they didn't bother to make an actual title. And that the final version is full of explicitly last-minute scenes that weren't checked over at all (the final Bianca scene, for one). Or the ACTIVELY ADMITTING TO SOURCING IDEAS AND INFORMATION FROM FANS! That last one is kind of important because at this level of publishing that is a HUGE no-no for legal reasons. You can get into a lot of trouble for that and there is a reason why it is Ye Olde Fandom Law to never try to pitch your ideas or headcanons to the source creator(s) and keep fandom separate from the creators. There is a REASON why Rick Riordan is so distant from the community these days and it's for PROTECTION AGAINST LEGAL REPERCUSSION. Mark Oshiro being the exact opposite while also ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGING sourcing concepts from fans does not bode well! It has to do with copyright stuff.
It's just. So. Sighhhhhhhh >->o <- me lying on the floor about all of this. It's sad being able to see the glimmer of what could have been at the very least a decent book underneath all this. If anyone involved in the process had actually cared just the tiniest amount.
#pjo#riordanverse#tsats#the sun and the star#tsats crit#rr crit#mark oshiro#mark oshiro crit#< ?#ask#Anonymous#long post //#i wrote out a whole response to this and them tumblr deleted it. SIGH. re-writing.#sharking Mark Oshiro: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT THE SITH NOT JOIN THEM!!!!!#i do also want to make it clear: i have not read Mark Oshiro's other work so i have no opinion on if they are a good writer or not#and that is irrelevant. i am not judging them based on that at all. if more of the topics that they specialize in as a sensitivity reader#had actually come up/been relevant in TSATS i think it would have been nice for them to have been the co-author and stuff#but as things stand based on what actually ended up being relevant in the book i think another co-author would have been appropriate#or even just. if you keep mark oshiro as the co-author then have *other* sensitivity readers#because as things stand the only specializations that Mark Oshiro has that were relevant in TSATS were mental health and queer topics#and BOTH WERE DONE POORLY. like REALLY BAD. plus the blatant ableism and minor racism and such#i know Mark Oshiro doesnt specialize in neurodivergent/disability topics (though a sensitivity reader for anything riordanverse SHOULD)#but they *do* specialize in racism and it got through. also the fact that blatant ableism got through should also be a bad sign#and yes ''respect the right for bad queer novels to exist'' BUT THATS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. SMALL-SCALE.#thats for like. indie publishers. it should not be used as an excuse to let an extremely famous straight/cis author write bad queer stories#i want to like Mark Oshiro really really bad. i do. i really do. but RR is not making it easy#anyways after having to rewrite this i dont have the energy to proofread it more than once please excuse any errors
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totally didnāt expect the other part to do well at all but š³ apparently i donāt know steddie fans. as such, have a part two <3 part one is here again, look out for the borrowed hunger games lines
āYouāve ruined your life, you know that, right?ā
The kitchen had been basking in the lull of the quiet morning before Eddie had spoken up, breaking the silence. Steve blinks, realising heās been zoned out staring at the swirling bubbles atop his mug of coffee and look up at Eddie across the table.
āDoing what you did.ā Eddie continues. Thereās this slight in his voice. Steve figures itās not really aimed at him.
Chief Powell had agreed to not release the details of the case to the public for obvious reason. However, it went without saying that of the cops working the case, not all would be so free-thinking. There were plenty who deemed leaking the alibi and letting the town devour Steveās reputation a more than fair consequence.
And, well, Eddie didnāt have any reputation left to tarnish or save.
Steve takes a sip of his coffee and lets the warm flavour coat his tastebuds as he tries to puts his thoughts in the right order.
He knows how Eddie sees thisā sees it as this burden that heās imposed on Steveās life. That he had been able to accept it at first, the whispers of freedom tempting enough that he could be selfish enough to gasp them.
Then yesterday afternoon, Steve had come back from Bradleyās Big Buy with dried yolks splattered across the windscreen and regret howled through Eddie like a hurricane, fierce and wild. Realisation of what Steve had condemned himself toā no- what Eddie had condemned him to finally sunk in.
Steve can tell heās been stewing on it all night. In the couple weeks heās been here, staying in under the Harrington roof just down the hall from Steve, heās surprised by how easily his brain has tacked on to Eddieās habits. His little Eddie-ismās. Thatās what Steve calls them.
Like how Eddieās nose will twitch if thereās something on his plate he doesnāt like, but heās too polite to say it.
How he thumbs up and down the edge of a book when heās reading, completely entranced. Doesnāt even notice his moving, twittering fingers.
How heās always so much twitchier the morning after a sleep laced with terror after terror. It gives him away before Steve even see the bags under his eyes, the hollowness of his face.
Steve recognises that one from himself, from back when heād gone through it all for the first time. The flinch is unshakeable when youāre convinced itās all going to come backā that the world is going to tear itself up and spit out monsters you havenāt even dreamed of.
Today, Eddie isnāt twitchy like that. Heās tired, a sunken in face that comes from a bone-deep aching tiredness. He picks at his breakfast, bitterly avoiding the eggs on his plate.
And Steve canāt pretend to understand how Eddie grew up ā can take his guesses but ultimately wonāt get near the experiences he knows Eddie has lived through. Steve has only ever been on the other side. Stayed silent while someone else through snide comments and used the word fag like a jagged blade, to cut someone down.
So, he doesnāt know. Not even a year with Robin as his best friend and all her knowledge couldāve prepared Steve for the startling fear heād felt when coming out of the store to the sight of a group of boys around his car, cartons of eggs in hand. One with a crowbar.
They wouldāve smashed his windows if he had come out a minute later, heās sure of it.
It had been like getting doused in icy water ā the Letterman jackets on all of them, the sneers, still jeering taunts as theyād scattered across the parking lot. Steve had felt the bile rise in his throat as he got in the car and sat, staring at the steering wheel, his slimy fear melting and mixing with his anger.
Eddieās point of view suddenly resounded within Steve in a way he hadnāt known before. Standing on tables, hollering about conformity, leaning in to every foul rumour about himā like a person drawing to full height, making himself as big as possible, to scare off a bear.
Steve gets that a little more now.
So, when Eddie tells him youāve ruined your life he knows what heās trying to tell him. Except, Steve doesnāt know how to say lightly that heād gladly ruin his life to save Eddieās. Itās too much ā but Steve always is. Always loves in these big heavy ways that are too hard to handle.
So instead, he shrugs and says, āConsider it a trade.ā
Eddie cocks his head, like a dog, just an inch.
āFor following me into the lake and saving my life.ā
Eddie scoffs and his head lolls back dramatically like what Steveās said is ridiculous. āJesus H Christ, dude, you saved yourself. I told you that I wouldāve been too cowardly to come after you if Birdie and Wheeler hadnāt gone in first.ā
He mutters the word cowardly with a hiss.
āWell then, a trade for drawing the bats away.ā
āYou mean the time I nearly became hamburger helper for the bats?ā
āChrist, Eddie,ā Steve scoffs. āI didnāt take you as someone who fished for compliments so hard.ā
Eddie frowns, dropping his fork with a clatter on his plate. āIā what? Iām not- I donāt evenāā
Steve cuts in. āYou helped us and you saved my life, whether your horrible little brain can admit that or not. So,ā He sits back in his chair with another little shrug and sips his coffee. āEqual trade.ā
Eddie frowns, a crease forming between his brows. āNo, not equal, Steve. You donāt get what youāve done youā ugh, you just donātāā
He huffs, cutting himself off, clearly unsure of how to voice his frustrations. He slumps back in his chair and eyes the eggs on his plate again with a glare this time.
Steve waits a moment and hopes he isnāt overstepping when he says, voice quiet, āI know, Eddie.ā
Across the table, Eddieās eyes raise to meet Steveās and he doesnāt sound smug, he doesnāt sound angry, he just sounds defeated when he speaks.
āDo you?ā
āMaybe not quite the extent of it until yesterday but, yesā¦ I know.ā
His words sink it and Eddie looksā¦ affronted. His eyes get a little wide and a tremble finds his lips. Like the whole time heād been convinced Steve wasnāt sure what heād been getting into, that the reality hadnāt set inā that any moment he would rescind his alibi and throw Eddie to the cops and let them snap the cuffs back on him.
Steve hates that expression. Loathes that Eddie is so surprised that anyone would do this for him ā something as important as keeping him alive and out of prison. Steve hates it because he knows it means that somewhere along the way, somebody had convinced Eddie that nobody would.
So, if heās got to be the one to convince Eddie that someone willā that he will make the effort, will put his neck on the line becauseā¦ well, isnāt that what Steve does best?
Heāll do it gladly.
Eddie picks up his fork and stabs his fork into the egg, the buttery yolk spilling onto the plate. Steve takes it as a truce, as him meeting him in the middle.
"So,ā Steve swirls the mug in his hand and swills another sip back. Swallows it and takes a page out of Eddieās book and goes the joke, leaning forward, forearms on the table. āIf Iām gonna be your boyfriend for the foreseeable future I should probably know more stuff about you. Yāknow, like, uh, the deep stuff.ā
Eddieās sunk back down in his seats but at Steveās final sentence, he perks up. A smirking sort of grin crossing his face and Eddie twists a piece of his hair in front of his mouth. He hasnāt kept eating yet, too focused on the conversation.
"Uh-oh, the deep stuff.ā Heās got that teasing tone in his voice. āLike what?"
"Like...ā Steve scrambles to pull something from his brain. āUm, whatās your favourite colour?"
āOh well, now you've stepped over the line."
Eddieās sarcasm melts into a chuckle as Steve laughs, ducking his head instinctively. When he lifts his gaze, heās relieved that Eddie looks a little lighter. Not much but a smidge of difference ā Steve can see it if he squints. Heās sure it wonāt be the last conversation theyāll have about this but for now, itās settled.
Curiosity piques in Steve and he tries to sound casual when he says, āNo, really, what is it?ā
Eddie blinks and curls his hair around his finger once more, tugging it lightly. He seems to be considering his answer, eyes dropping to the sweater Steveās donning.
āYellow.ā He finally says. āNot mustard but, yāknow, lighter. Colour of the moon on Halloween orā¦ā
āCheese?ā Steve suggests.
Eddie laughs. āYeah, the right kind of cheese, sure. What about you? Favourite colour?ā
Steve considers it ā for the longest time, it had been red because Tommy had told him that red or blue were the coolest colours to like, way back in third grade. No one has asked him since then.
āPink, actually.ā Steve admits, hand coming up to brush across his nose, trying to hide behind the motion. He envies Eddieās long curls suddenly. He feels the need to explain, more words rolling off his tongue. āLike, yāknow, when the sun starts to set, like all dusky, itās justā¦ nice.ā
Eddieās staring at him peculiarly, his lips parted yet quirked up in this faint smile. If Steve didnāt know any better, heād call it awe. Breaking his stare, Eddie chuckles again, finally properly picking his fork up to finish his meal.
āSteve Harrington.ā He murmurs warmly, more to himself. His lips twitch with a smile. āYou just keep surprising me.ā
ā
some people wanted more š¤² uh get tagged idiot - normally i donāt do taglists but u were all so kind as to reply to the post & i didnāt get a chance to say thank u for ur lovely words! this is my thank u! have sum more!
@friendlyorange @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @lostinadmiration @life-love-musicaltheatre @oldlovershippiemusic5 @phoeniceae @catateme9 @lolawonsstuff @justagaypanda @pluto-pepsi @whoopstie @scenesofobx @justforthedead89 @musical-theatre-gay @theperksofbeingstjimmy @ikilledabuginthewall @imauselessartist @fridgebaby @lingeringmirth and uhhh @corrodedcoughin cos i still do a little squeal when u rb my tings even tho weāre mewchies :D
#ignoring the other characters rn lmao#i wrote it in a day. Sue me#something about like eddie being convinced that steve Doesnāt Understand#cos if he did he wouldnāt have done this!!#and steve being like i know eddieā¦ i know#I Knew It And I Did It Anyways#steveās puts-himself-on-the-line selflessness vs. eddie disbelieving heās worth it#[street fighter voice] FIGHT!#uhhhhh does baby boy steve even know he likes men yet? probably notttt#ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ#ruby writes steddie#steve x eddie#steddie#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#steddie hurt/comfort
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CAESAR AUGUSTUS AND MARCUS LICINIUS CRASSUS
this is about the spolia opima that crassus was robbed of lmao. like, yeah okay octavian could've asked him not to claim it, but nevertheless. a kind of theft happened there.
Fact and Fiction: Crassus, Augustus, and the Spolia Opima, Catherine McPherson
#this is one from the vaults I started a few months ago and finally finished. itās always the furniture details that put things on hold lmao#the former co consuls are fightinggggg (?)#rome is built on top of other people. this is about both the imperialism-slavery machine and the way that all these guys would#politically devour their own generation to sit on a throne. etc. anyway. octavian specifically sits on a throne of other peopleās#accomplishments. thatās a specific kind of debt to carry around your neck. or theft depending on who is doing what#this was theft. anything involving Agrippa was a gift so thereās an obligation to succeed which is itās own kind of currency so to speak#sugghrhfh. every crassus always has to be like this. in my heart i always root for whoever decides to go up against rome#and then i'm stuck with the guy who should've got a spolia opima like. congrats on your win. i guess. i think. RIP.#ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT. while im talking about this crassus. domina fucking sucks. what an absolute clusterfuck of a show#anyway. if anyone ever does augustan age politics again. octavia would be a great character if you want to invent shit#but also more importantly octavian should seduce crassus for this. thank you.#octavian#marcus licinius crassus.....christ how do i write down that he's the grandson of my crassus. i'll figure it out later#roman empire tag#drawing tag
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HI MY BELOVED ANGEL!!! i am sending u mattsun + campfire as well as kisses n hugs <33
SAINTTT hello š„ŗ thank you for sending a prompty!! š„¹ idt i've ever written mattsun fully before so this is something new!
help me get back into the writing groove! send me a character + any word and i'll write a short blurb about it!
contains: exes, stranded-y situation, feelings are complicated, some expletives
mattsun + campfire
"i told you we should've brought the spareā"
"yeah, let me go back in time for a sec and do just that."
"asshole."
lesson #1: nothing good ever happens when you're stuck in a car with your ex on the way to somewhere remote.
you blame iwaizumi for this one. who the fuck chooses to spend their birthday weekend in the fucking wilderness?
(okay, you don't actually think it's so bad. to be fair, he did plan this a year ago. and it did sound like a good idea. then. at the time. anywhere with the boys was always guaranteed funāat least, until you and matsukawa broke up.)
"can you pass me the flashlight?" he points at the backpack behind you. when you hand it over, your fingers brush over his as he takes it away from you.
and you hate it, becauseā
lesson #2: you should never be alone with your ex when you still have feelings for them.
you'd agreed to take two cars to the camping spot: iwaizumi's with oikawa and hanamaki and matsukawa's with you. there was no way you'd fit in one, and hanamaki ultimately decided to ride with iwaizumi because, "you and mattsun have shit to sort out," he'd said.
with night setting and the two-hour headstart they managed to get ahead of you, the best thing you and matsukawa can do is to set up camp temporarily and wait for them to come back for you come sunrise.
you sigh.
leaves crack underneath your feet as you maneuver around your camping space. the light from matsukawa's flashlight tells you where he is, just a bit deeper in the forestry as he looks for wood to help set up the fire.
you unload the car in the meantime, bringing out some snacks and sleeping bags while waiting.
matsukawa eventually comes back with arms full of wood, and you help in whatever way you can, clearing the space and fetching more twigs when needed.
the entire car ride here had been quiet, so it's not surprising that this entire process has been equally as silent. untilā
"did you already pull out your tent?" he asks, half of his body disappearing into the trunk of the car.
"huh?" you go closer, "i only brought out the sleeping bags."
then he sighs, ducking out from the trunk with a hand on his hip, "we only have one tent."
"what?"
"makki must have gotten yours with his when he decided to move cars."
his hand runs through his hair, a habit you know well. it lights up all sorts of weird feelings in your tummy
you don't know how to feelā
"i can sleep in the car."
ābut you know that you definitely don't want him to do that. all things considered, you were friends first. and you've both been trying to be friends again since the breakup. you wouldn't want to cause him discomfort like that.
so, with a deep breath, you say, "it's okay, we can just share."
"are you sure?" he stares at you.
you nod.
after setting up the tent, you eat a few energy bars and clean up from the day's events. the campfire provides ample enough heat, but with how fast the flames are burning, you're doubtful it'll last the two of you the entire night.
itās much later on, past midnight, that your doubts are proven right when you and matsukawa are cramped together in a tent made for one. it started to get cold a few minutes ago, and you've found yourself inching closer and closer to the warmth youāve gotten used to laying against for the past two years.
he's only pretending to be asleep, you know that much, too. the rise and fall of his chest is hardly there; you can see it, how he's holding his breath being this close to you.
"issei," you whisper.
he opens his eyes, eyelids lifting lazily as he meets your stare. the vibration of his hum reverberates to you.
"it's cold."
for a moment, your stomach drops at the thought that he could ignore you; how it would make perfect sense for him to. you broke up with him after all, and he doesn't owe you anything, much less favors as intimate as this one.
but he closes the already dwindling gap between you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he pulls you closer. it's near, far too near for exes to beānoses touching and all.
"warmer?" his voice comes out hoarser through the whisper.
you nod, your head shifting up and downāwhich, truly, is where you ultimately fuck up. you feel it, a little chapped but still pliant against your lips.
in your carelessness, you accidentally brush your lips against his, the sensation alone surprising you enough to inch your head back as you mutter your apologies.
"sorry? really?" he asks, eyes half-lidded still as he chuckles.
his question settles into the small space you're in.
your vision trails from his eyes, down to the slope of his nose, until it lands on his lips again. a little split like you've always known, but still your favorite. still the only lips you want against yours.
when you lean in again, you know you're fucked, becauseā
lesson #3: the number one rule is that exes shouldn't kiss each other anymore.
#mattsun x reader#matsukawa x reader#hq x reader#shotorus.workbook#WAAAAAH i hope u like this saint !!!#ive never rlly written mattsun in length before so i hope i captured him enough ?????#i feel like he's such a tough balance to write (bc i am not witty at all and i feel like he would be HAHAHA)#anyway !!! some stuff abt the fic: the split was amicable for the most part#but the reason why makki says reader and mattsun have stuff to sort out is because there's like a weird tension~~ that he feels around them#and its kind of like. they bicker? and snap at each other like exes do but also it's just like. why do u care abt what the other does so mu#if you arent together anymore ?? typa thing. its like. they argue but in a way couples normally do if that makes sense#HONESTLY MAKKI WOULDNT HAVE ALSO MINDED STAYING WITH THEM cos he likes to watch HAHA but i think#he joined iwaoi more as a 'ill give u guys time together to fuck it out or wtvr just dont be weird on iwa's bday' typa thing#they were also together for a while! friends first and everything hmmm the reason why reader broke up with him#can be up to you! but my intention was for it to be something fixable and just more fitting for a 'break' typa thing#not necessarily a breakup#also the iwa car went ahead and they have the spare tire so they can go back and help but better in the daylight#i think thats all !!!#i hope you like it !!#ask#rep#saint.š©ø#honestly these just keep getting longer hAHAH i should follow my 20 minute cap more#ask rep answered#heartsyougave
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