#clown wig is on! let’s do this!

[mercymaker]

also you guys saying you can't wait to see my dragon age OCs as if i haven't been considering just making mal: the dragon age edition like

[imminent-danger-came]

hiiiiiiiii im so mentally ill abt the swk-mk relationship from 1x09 into ROTSQ. wukong literally goes from having this “oh shit i Care about this kid” moment in 1x09 to Not Being There when mk faces off against the possessed dbk in 1x10. and then at the start of RotSQ they sit on that damn cliff again and wukong, for the first time, invites mk in, and we get to see just how lonely he really is. and mk’s about to leave, hesitates, realizes this, and Chooses to spend time with wukong. im so #normalgirl about them

(and also there’s tiny little origami versions of the original pilgrims in wukong’s little new year’s setup. and that’s just so everything to me)

GOD.

There really something about that ROTSQ scene. The way Wukong comfortably turns as MK's stammering and trying to leave. He seems so...at ease in his loneliness.

I also lose my mind that their mini 4x12 training sequence takes place at the same temple:

Sun Wukong: "I've been alive a long, long time. I've fought along side the Brotherhood and the great Companions, and now you. You may not believe it but you are all stronger than you know! Every one of you is already a hero—together you can do this, we can do this! Are ya with me!"

((*cough cough* "Just believe in yourself! Even a smidge makes all the difference." *cough *cough))

The contrast (and similarity) to their ROTSQ convo:

Sun Wukong: "I got you where I wanted you, by putting myself where you wanted me. It's called: misdirection." MK: "Seems like a shady lesson." Sun Wukong: "Too soon, buddy." MK: "UGH, I'm never gonna be as good as you." Sun Wukong: "Pst, not with that attitude!"

Their whole strategy in TEW was getting Azure where they wanted him, by putting themselves where Azure wanted their team. Really #normalgirl about it all

[stormyoceans]

hey babymon, don't you think jojo could have seen all of sea's countless phone calls with a half-naked force, seen sfk interview and thought 'damn it, this should work', seen crying boys on lol and got a vision of the most untethered drama with ex-bfs? in any case, im crazy and have repeatedly reviewed ep in search of clues. sea is a musician and he would really suit first as a bf (but god forbid forcing first to sing, this is clearly not his strong suit)

OH ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!

i mean casting can be a very long and complicated process that actually involves a lot of people, and unfortunately the director doesn't always have the last word in it (if the executive producer pulls rank in the final choice then there isn't much that anyone can do), but directors know what to look for between actors, they know when two people just - for lack of a better word - click. p'x decided to pair jimmy and sea up just by watching them interact with each other outside of an official audition, which was a big gamble, but it paid off

this may sound a bit creepy, but directors are ALWAYS watching, because that's a big part of their job: to watch and really see what works and what doesn't, not only on-camera but off it too. sand's ex may not be one of the main characters of the show, but potentially is someone who's gonna have scenes with both sand and top, so i have no doubt that p'jojo spent a good amount of time observing all the people interacting with first and force to understand which one could work better with them

and you know, im not saying sea is the only one who could fit the role, but also it's undeniable that he is close to force and that he has a surprisingly natural chemistry with first SOOOOOOO. NOT TO REPEAT MYSELF AND BE AN INSUFFERABLE CLOWN BUT SEA AS SAND'S EX IS SO REAL

[skellitonz]

fellow watcherinas did y’all ever see a www channel on the discord? am i delusional in thinking they took it off the off air section?

[souporsaladnatural]

Ok but the fact that recently theres been a real surge in people who worked on supernatural talking about dean and cas and even openly talking about destiel while theres ALSO been a ton of talk also by people who worked on supernatural about a season 16 actually fucking happening is driving me certifiably insane. Honk honk you fuckers im getting out the clown wig lets fucking do this

[ashwhowrites]

Could you do a killer clown fic with Eddie x reader? Like Eddie is all dressed up as a clown and is chasing after reader but it leads to smut if that’s okay

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻 Happy October! 🎃

⚠️ smut, a bit darker than my usual fics, kidnapping, slightly forced sex but reader does enjoy it. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with the content

Red nose and smile

It was Halloween night and Y/N didn't have any plans. She didn't feel like attending the college parties, a night alone with movies was good enough for her.

She walked to the small gas station that was down the street, snuggling into her coat as the October breeze washed over her. She was walking to the front when a body appeared right in front of her.

She jumped back frightened, her heart raced with anxiety as she took in the stranger. She felt a little uneasy as the stranger's face was painted like a clown. But not a birthday party clown, more of a creepy ass clown.

There was dark black paint around his eyes, the tip of his nose painted red, and his lips and cheeks were painted a deep dark red and stretched into a smile that ran up to his cheek bones. The rest of his face was painted white. She could see some features on the man but she had never seen him before. He wore a wig that covered his forehead, bright red long hair all the way to his shoulders.

She stepped over to the side, avoiding more eye contact as she went to walk around him. He moved fast, and opened the door for her. She gave him a terrified small smile and walked into the gas station. She muttered out a small thank you, in hopes the kindness would save her life. He gave her a small bow and little wave.

The door closed behind her and he stayed outside. She quickly moved through the store and grabbed the popcorn. But she could feel eyes on her, watching her every move.

She walked up to the register, sliding over the popcorn. She looked over her shoulder and the strange clown was no longer there. She let out a relieved breath as she checked out.

She decided to go out another exit, hoping she could walk straight home without any issues. She walked out the door, as the door closed the clown was standing behind it. She slowly stepped back, her hand reaching for the door handle. But as she did, the stranger turned his head to the side and his eyes stared her down. He held up his finger and waved it back and forth from left to right.

She gulped as fear began to fill her body again. She looked around and the streets were dead and silent. She tried to plan an escape route in her head but then the clown moved closer and closer. Walking towards her until her back was up against the wall.

She clenched her eyes shut when his hand gripped her chin and forced her head to the side. She trembled as his nose pressed into her hair, inhaling her scent. He groaned into her ear and moved his mouth down to her cheek, she whimpered as she felt his tongue licking up her skin repeatedly.

She stomped her foot down onto his, he cried out in pain and released her. She kneed him in the balls and was fast to run when he dropped to the ground. She didn't look behind her, just kept running towards her house.

She could see her house in the distance, heading for her front yard when she heard footsteps behind her. She opened her mouth to scream but a gloved hand covered her mouth. She tried to fight against him but he was stronger. She screamed against his hand as he picked her up. She trashed as much as she could, hoping he'd lose his grip but it was no use.

~

He carried her to a small house that was in the middle of nowhere. He dropped her on a creaky old bed, the room was lived in and decorated as a circus. She felt uneasy as she observed everything around her. She was terrified of what he planned to do to her, was he going to kill her?

"What do you want from me? Why did you take me here?" She asked

She watched as he moved around the room. He went into his closet and she could hear him digging around. He didn't answer her, but he came out of the closet with a small bag. She held her breath as he walked closer to her. His hand went under her chin, forcing her head up. Her bottom lip began to tremble as tears filled her eyes. He leaned down and pressed his painted lips against hers. She stayed still as she tried to ignore the feeling but it seemed that made him mad. He began to growl against her mouth, he fisted her hair and yanked it. She cried out as a few tears began to fall.

"Kiss me," it was the first time he spoke. His voice was deep and didn't match the creepiness of his clown look. His lips were back on hers with force. She still fought against kissing him, trying to pull her head away but his grip in her hair tightened. She yelped as she felt the hair pulling from her skull.

She admitted defeat and kissed him back. Slow and timid at first. She could feel his body relaxing as her lips melted into his and his grip in her hair loosened. He continued to kiss her until she was gasping for air.

Her lungs burned as he pulled away. In a twisted way, her lips felt cold and abandoned.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her, she fell back against the mattress with a small bounce.

She kept her eyes on him as he stared down at her. She couldn't help but look him up and down, she could see the outline of his hard cock through his white pants. She felt betrayed by her body when her cunt began to throb. She tried to keep her brain in control, reminding herself this was a stranger.

She looked back up when his hands caught her attention. He began to unzip his clown suit, a white muscle tank top showing underneath as he slowly stripped out of the suit. She tried to remain unfazed as the suit bundled at his feet. Wearing the tank top and a tight pair of boxers.

Was it insane to admit that his body was attractive? She noticed a few tattoos on his arms, his gloves no longer on and she could see dried up blood under his nails. He had a few splatters of it on his tank top, she wasn't sure what the hell was wrong with her but her thighs clenched.

He moved fast as he threw his body down on top of hers and his hands gripped her chin. She could feel his cock pressing against her inner thigh. She couldn't help but moan as his fingers slipped inside her pants and underwear to touch her clit.

She shivered as he laughed against her skin, his mouth kissing her neck. Her skin was becoming stained from his red paint.

"So scared, so frightened, and yet you are soaked," he whispered in her ear. She wanted to fight against him but he began to spread her wetness up and down between her folds.

"Are you going to kill me?" She whimpered

His fingers slipped inside of her with ease, and she moaned out.

"Never, baby. I just want to play with you," he whispered into her ear

She whimpered and he softly kissed her lips. She kissed him back, and she was rewarded when he slid two more fingers inside her. She gasped and he laughed against her mouth.

He moved his free hand up to her mouth, roughly shoving his fingers down her throat. She gagged as she tasted metallic and dirt. He fucked her throat and cunt with the same roughness. Her cunt gushed around his fingers and her spit made a mess down her chin.

He removed his hand from her throat to allow her to breathe. She gasped and choked for air, fighting through moans as he circled her clit. She wasn't sure why, but a part of her was enjoying it. She never had someone manhandle her the way he was. He touched her with confidence like he knew her body more than she did.

She felt his hard cock against her leg, and he began to move his hips back and forth. He groaned as he began to rub himself against her, hissing at the pleasure.

She felt slightly disgusted with herself as her stomach tightened. He was sucking an orgasm right out of her and she had no control. But it was the best orgasm of her life. She arched her back as his mouth mixed in with his fingers. His tongue sucked her clit as she lost all control, moaning out as she came all over his fingers.

He sucked his fingers clean, and she watched through heavy eyelids. He stood up and shredded his tank top down the middle, she hated how attracted she was feeling toward him. He was skinny, but a little toned. She eyed his clean chest and the happy trail that led to his boxers. He slipped out of his boxers, and his red aching cock sprung up against his stomach.

She moaned out as she took in his thickness and length. She could feel her cult pulsing and aching for it.

He was back on her in seconds, spreading open her legs as he held his cock against her cunt. He teased his tip between her folds, watching how it began to glisten from her wetness.

"You want me to fuck you, pretty girl?" He chuckled

She was surprised to hear herself say yes

He didn't think twice and slammed himself inside of her. She cried out as she took him fully. He was ruthless, fucking her as fast as he could into the mattress.

"Let me hear those sounds, let me hear how much you love being fucked by my cock," he groaned in her ear. His hands held her hips in a bruising grip, moving to his knees to drill himself deeper inside of her.

Y/N answered with moans and whines. She couldn't think straight. She reached up and yanked off the wig, letting his real hair show. It was dark, curly, and long. She shoved her hands in his hair, bunching it up in her hands as he fucked her.

"Fuck, feels so good," she moaned

He growled in response, leaning down to shive his tongue in her mouth. His hands moved up to her chest, roughly massaging the skin.

"Your pussy feels incredible, baby girl," he moaned in her ear his hands moving down her body. He yanked himself out of her, and she lost her grip on his hair. She whined at the emptiness, but he flipped her over and moved her hips in the air. He slammed his hand down on her ass and shoved himself back inside her. She clawed at the sheets below her as he continued fucking her.

He licked up her spine, then kissed back down. He dug his nails down her back, continuously doing it until the skin broke up and blood began to run down. She hissed at the pain but the pleasure of his cock took the focus.

He smeared her blood all over her back, smiling as he leaned down to clean it up with his tongue. She shivered as she felt his tongue all over her skin, her legs felt like jelly as he continued to pound into her.

He moved his hand to her stomach then moved down to her clit. He began to play with her clit as he slammed himself inside of her. She cried out as he hit a spot that made her see stars.

She reached forward and clawed at the headboard. His sweaty chest met her back as he put his free hand over hers on the headboard. The position felt even better as he chased his orgasm. He rubbed her clit as fast as he could, he could feel her thighs starting to shake.

"I'm going to stuff your cunt full of my cum. Make this cunt my own," he said into her hair. She screamed as she felt her second orgasm taking over. Eddie hissed as he felt himself needing to cum. He kept his hand on her clit to work her through her orgasm but moved his free hand to push down on her head. Her screams were muffled against the mattress as he held her down.

He moaned loudly as he released his cum inside of her. He hissed as he emptied himself, keeping his cock inside of her to make sure she got every drop. He removed his hands from her, letting her body drop against the mattress as he caught his breath.

He flipped her body over, smiling down at her tear-stained face. He patted her cheek, telling her how amazing she did. She smiled at the praise but whined when he moved his fingers down to her cunt. She hissed as he pushed her folds together, he smiled as his cum began to drip out of her.

He cupped his other hand below, catching his cum as he squeezed as much as he could out. Once he got enough that satisfied him, he shoved his hand into her mouth. She tasted a mix of his blood and cum, sucking his fingers until he pulled them out. He replaced his fingers with his mouth.

Before she knew it, everything went black.

~

When she woke up she was in her room, in her bed as the moon shined through the window. She reached over to turn on her lamp but hissed as she felt pain in her back. She figured the whole clown thing was a dream, and wasn't sure what it meant.

There was nothing out of the ordinary in her room, she slid out of bed and walked to her mirror. She went to turn to look at her back when she noticed white and red paint smeared all over her face. She looked at her body in the mirror and gasped when she saw the same paint smeared all over her inner thighs.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt @ineedmentalhelp123

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

BORIS JOHNSON RESIGNS AS MP. Thoughts? The people howl for a new update to the Big Dog the Clown saga.

Yes this was not on my personal bingo card; my most recent Big Dog event was that a friend of mine works for air traffic control and recently had to delay BoJo's holiday flight by four hours, and on being told that this particular plane had to be prioritised for a runway slot because it contained an Important Clown promptly pushed it to the bottom of the priority list. Lol. And then all this! What larks.

Okay not a lot of detail yet still but LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE EVENTS OF 9TH JUNE, 2023 and you know what? It's been a while. Let's do it properly.

7.15am

Another day dawns in the reign of evil Grand Vizier-turned-PM Rishi Sunak. He's a very boring flavour of evil, tbh. Say what you will about Johnson, but at least there was spectacle and showmanship to his clownshow. Something for the children to boo and hiss. An animate ham in a villain's wig, something to really enjoy as you sit back, relax, and savour a tall, cool glass of schadenfreude.

By contrast Rishi just gets sycophants - who are no less ridiculous, but far more grey and boring - who pretend he's a tech bro because "he understands AI" and they think that will make him a visionary and a man of the future and maybe some sort of Elon Musk figure, because that's obviously a smashing template to be copied in a leader of a country.

This briefing was presumably drafted using ChatGPT.

Anyway, this is what we thought the day would be: another dreary overcast washout, livened up by Downing Street's latest attempt at making Sunak seem like a good idea to stave off the hulking spectre of Labour's inevitable GE win next year. How trite. How tedious. How mediocre.

What a shame it would be if... something were to liven it up.

8.39 am

Fun fact!

When a PM's term ends, as their last act in office, they get to present an Honours List. This means they write a list of all the people they reckon have been Jolly Good Sorts who have done Good Clowning and Supported The Community, and nominate those people for honours. Honours here can be anything from an MBE/OBE etc, to a Damehood/Knighthood, all the way up to entering the Peerage i.e. becoming a Lord. Traditionally, people have been fairly reasonable with these lists. Apart from anything else, the outgoing PM can only write the list - the new Prime Minister has to sign off on it, and it's usually the case, of course, that PMs are deposed by the opposition party.

Why am I mentioning this? Well: Boris, you see, has now presented his list to Sunak to validate. You may be unsurprised to learn that it contains quite a lot of clowns.

Another fun fact!

If a sitting MP is given a Peerage, they cannot continue to be an MP. MPs are elected. Lords are not. So an MP offered a lordship right now would have to stand down if they accepted, triggering a by-election in their seat that... well. That anyone could win, couldn't they? Ordinarily. Except Labour's shadow is growing, isn't it? I don't suppose Sunak would be all that happy about losing, for example, any Tory MPs nominated for a peerage right now.

What fun facts.

At 8.39am, Politics UK reveals an as-yet-unverified report that Nadine Dorries and Alok Sharma have been removed from Boris Johnson's honours list, and will go back to vetting.

(They also reveal that Big Dog's dad has been removed from the list, because nominating your dad for a Peerage is "inappropriate". Sorry, Bigger Dog. Apparently even corrupt ghoul Rishi Sunak has a limit to what open corruption he will allow, which is news to us all, most of all Rishi.)

10.41am

Nadine Dorries decides she will play to her strengths, and appear on TV to do some Public Speaking, which always goes well for her of course.

Nothing, let's remember, has been confirmed yet at all. But she's here to put people's minds at ease! No power-hungry status-chasing pink maniac, she! She is very clear in her aims.

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

Quite right, Nadine. That would be disastrous.

11.20am

Oh, it’s Tory think tank NRG’s conference in Doncaster today.  Gideon George Osborne, pig-stupid former Grand Vizier and idiot fail-heir to David "pig-fucker" Cameron, gives a speech.  Let's see some quotes!

On the Tories’ choices of chancellors since he personally fell on his sword over Brexit left the role:

“You can see when the partnership doesn’t work. The government's paralysed and the politics is terrible.”

Fair, but also you are a government, George.

On Tories who attack the civil service:

“We’re in charge of our country’s destiny. We should stop blaming others if we don’t get things right." 

... right. But you just... Uh.

On Tory culture warriors:

“It’s really important that the Conservative Party is excited about the country we aspire to lead… and doesn’t get in to ‘we’re against all these groups of people’. We’re the inclusive people.”

Well, points for clearing that absurdly low bar, I guess. Christ, I cannot BELIEVE Suella Braverman is making George fucking Osborne look good-by-comparison.

1pm

Ooh. Nadine's attempts to put minds at ease have inexplicably not worked, can't think why not. She's such a reassuring and charismatic speaker normally.

But the rumour is now FLYING about that Nadine has indeed been dropped from the honours list, and specifically because Sunak wants to avoid a by-election that will lose him more seats at a time when he is desperate for even a mat on the floor as long as it's blue.

Sorry, Nads. Still; this morning you were very clear that the constituency comes first, so I suppose that's okay. The priority now is that she MUST stay in position, so the Tories can keep their numbers steady. It is VITAL she remains an MP. Let's remember her exact words!

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

3.45pm

Nadine Dorries tweets her resignation.

The last thing she does as an MP is indeed to cause a by-election in her constituency.

3.50pm

Except this is Nadine Dorries we're talking about. She's found some flashy balls to juggle, look, and a boy to pour custard down her trousers.

Not five minutes after dropping the bombshell, she deletes the last tweet announcing her resignation, and tweets a new one.

The new tweet says, “it is now time for another to take the reins” as the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire.

The original tweet said, “it is now time for someone younger to take the reins.”

*

On Talk TV, Dorries says that "something significant did happen to change my mind", but doesn’t elaborate.

3.56pm

The whispers are whispering. The rumours are rumouring. The knives are sharpening.

Nadine's now-former seat is Mid-Bedfordshire, and has been Tory since 1929; a safe seat, which certainly explains how Nadine fucking Dorries managed to hold it for as long as she did.

An MP on the right of the Tory party says that if the Tories lose the Mid Bedfordshire by-election, it’ll open questions about Rishi Sunak's leadership CLOWNFALL 3: REVENGE OF BIG DOG LET'S GOOOOOO

3.57pm

Nadine Dorries is removed from the WhatsApp group.

I would love to know who leaked that image. I really should not have that image. Ah well. Now you do too.

4.12pm

Good tweet alert!

5.08pm

Phew! What a day. Let's see how Rishi's getting on.

He approves the rest of BoJo's honours list. Shall we take a look at our newly-honoured citizens? Shall we see what familiar names crop up?

Honours for staff at centre of Partygate Jack Doyle, Rosie Bate-Williams and Shelly Williams-Walker (and a lot of other terrible and disgraced people who were loyal to Johnson, and some of Carrie Antoinette’s friends).

Damehoods for Andrea Jenkyns and Priti Patel.

Knighthoods for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Conor Burns, and Michael Fabricant.

An OBE for Kelly Jo Dodge, Parliamentary hairdresser.

Also honours for Ben Houchen, currently at the heart of a media storm about dodgy property deals.  His huge regeneration project in Teesside is subject to a government investigation regarding the governance, finance and value for money.

*

(Interesting point – Tory MPs Allister Jack and Nigel Adams were offered peerages, but decided to wait, since accepting now would trigger by-elections.

Why were they offered at all, do you think?)

*

So … this means Michael Fabricant is now Sir Michael Fabricant.  Like, actually.  Genuinely.

Nice one, Rishi. Thank goodness you understand AIs.

5.44pm

The Guardian’s Pippa Crerar - journalist who brought down Big Dog one Partygate reveal at a time - tweets her guide to he honours list:

Martin Reynolds, former PPS, invited 200 officials to drinks in Downing St garden.  He told officials to "bring your own booze", later adding: "We seem to have got away with it".

Shelley Williams-Walker, getting a Damehood, was No 10 head of opps & now runs his office.  At No 10 party the night before Prince Philip's funeral she was dubbed "DJ SWW" for her banger playlist.

Jack Doyle & Rosie Bate-Williams, who get OBEs, were press spox who repeatedly denied the parties happened

Dan Rosenfield, who gets a peerage, quit in mass exodus of senior No 10 staff as anger over Partygate grew.  Former chief of staff faced reports he was among senior Downing Street officials who attended a Christmas quiz when restrictions were in place.

Shaun Bailey, who ran unsuccessfully for London mayor, gets a peerage, and Ben Mallett, a close friend of Carrie Antoinette's who ran Zac Goldsmith’s disastrous mayoral campaign, gets an OBE. Both are in this picture of a lockdown-flouting party at CCHQ:

What a sea of punchable faces.

7.58pm

But we've been so focused on Nadine! She's fucked up her juggling, look, but she's sliding around on the rollerskates, ever so distracting. But here's the thing, Tumblrs, here's the thing:

Among all of this, what's the Chief Clown doing?

The Privilege Committee reveals in their draft report that Boris Johnson misled Parliament, and recommends a sanction of more than 10 days.

Does that sound too little? Are you wishing it were smething more meaningful? Let me help put it in context.

This sanction would be enough to trigger a by-election in Johnson’s seat.

8.02pm

Boris Johnson

QUITS

as an MP

The committee said Johson had “impugned the integrity” of the House of Commons. Fascinating! I didn't know its honour had ever been pugned.

He accuses the inquiry of trying to “drive me out”!!!!

"It is very sad to be leaving parliament - at least for now - but above all I am bewildered and appalled that I can be forced out, anti-democratically, by a committee chaired and managed, by Harriet Harman, with such egregious bias".

Worth noting that the committee has a Conservative majority, mind. But you mustn't let things like facts get in the way of your feelings, BlowJo. You never have as a politician. Nor as a journalist, come to that.

(Also SIDE NOTE – “at least for now”??  What are you planning, Big Dog??  I suppose Nadine is leaving an empty seat...)

8.41pm

Christopher Hope of the Daily Telegraph reports he’s heard rumours of a THIRD Tory MP potentially resigning – and another Johnson loyalist at that. Lol. Trololol. Lmao, even. Perhaps rofl.

11.43pm

And finally, the day is wrapped up with the Guardian revealing their front cover for the following day:

Big Dog is OUT, hot trans bloke is IN.

Not a bad finish.

[porcelana-r0ta]

JOYRIDE

Fandoms: Batman, Danny Phantom

Relationship: Dan Phantom/Jason Todd

Word Count: 3,823

Ao3 Link: Available only to registered users

Summary:

Dan doesn't want to join his Habitudes group for their dumb community service project, which is why he lets two idiot goons kidnap him off the streets. When said goons turn out to work for The Joker, Dan decides to do something about him, maniac to maniac.

Or: The Joker tries to live stream a ransom, but ends up live streaming his own execution.

xxXxx

When Dan Nightingale is grabbed off the streets of Gotham, he makes a half-hearted struggle, just so he can seem human. The kiddie hero business and the indiscriminate genocidal tendencies no longer call to him like they used to, and while he’s still an impatient person who is intolerant of disruptive bullshit, he needs a little excitement in his life. 

Plus, he wants an excuse to get out of his Habitudes community service project. His pretentious trust fund baby groupmates chose to volunteer at some fucking coffee shop instead of something normal, like a hospital or an animal shelter. (Dan didn’t even know a coffee shop was an option, but anything goes for wealthy elites who want to roleplay as an impoverished barista, apparently.) Well, Jay Peters wasn’t so bad, and he was just as irritated as Dan was about the others’ choice. Plus, the chill that settles into Dan’s unused lungs when the other student is around shows that he’s at least Death-touched like him, even if they’ve never acknowledged that to each other. 

So, yeah. He lets himself be kidnapped by two goons, even if he could easily break free and make their insides their outsides. It could be interesting! Enrichment in his pandimensional parole! Everyone’s got to have fun sometimes! It’s like a little joyride, as a treat! But he isn’t the one committing the crime! How quaint!

Dan is a very polite captive. He lets himself be pulled into a creeper van with minimal resistance. He lets the goons zip tie his hands. He lets them put a black bag over his head, even though it smells of weed. He doesn’t count the number of turns they take, nor does he try to talk them into letting him go. In fact, he doesn’t say anything. When they eventually park, he allows the men to pull him out of the creeper van and into some building—likely a warehouse, judging by the echo of their footsteps on the floor. And finally, he lets the goons cut off the zip ties around his wrists and then tie them to the metal arms of a chair. 

He’s a great captive. And he’s so going to be excused from that stupid Habitudes community service project!

He’s content to sit and wait. The Bats of Gotham City usually have a good response time for villain bullshit, and if they don’t, then it’s not like any Fear gas or sex pollen will affect him. Dan’s not really human anymore, even if he is capable of looking so. 

Dan does not have to wait long. The footsteps increase and then stop altogether, and then a cackle fills the air. “Camera man ready? Mics? Charges?” The voice is familiar, yet grating. Where has he heard it before? In his past future, maybe?

“Yes, sir,” comes the reply from several different people. 

A pleased cackle, “Then let’s get started!”

“We are live in three… two…” 

At the silent one, the cackle echoes through the room once again. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen of Gotham City and beyond! I’m your favorite Joker, LIVE! With one of your favorite Wayne children!” 

Dan, who has been relatively chill this whole time, tenses. The Joker. That’s why he recognizes that cackle and voice. He had killed the clown before in his original timeline. Ugh, clowns. He fucking hates clowns. Hates their stupid pale makeup and their stupid dumb wigs and their exaggerated eyes and he fucking hates how they make him feel like he’s not in control. 

And what was that about a Wayne? 

Dan doesn’t think killing someone like The Joker in his original timeline should be held against him. Honestly, the guy is a megalomaniacal terrorist who abuses the guise of mental illness to get away with crimes against humanity. Dan had at least owned up to his own sanity, and never tried to hide from the law or anything like that. He just kind of… killed the law. 

….ACAB? 

A hand suddenly grips at the bag on his head, grabbing hair with fabric. “That’s right, folks! Here’s Gotham’s beloved Dick Grayson!” The bag is yanked off his head, revealing Dan in all his scowling glory. And Dan is a lot of things, but an exact Dick Grayson copy he is not, so while the goons may have mistaken him as Grayson, The Joker does not. 

He pauses, studying Dan’s face. Dan raises a mocking eyebrow, then looks around the warehouse. 

It’s empty and dimly lit, but it’s not a problem for his superior vision. The metal walls are an ugly beige and the floor is a gray cement, its color only broken by mysterious brown stains, and now the discarded black bag. Dan is up against a wall, surrounded by filming equipment. The camera in question is just a fucking iPhone 12 attached to a ring light. There’s one goon behind the camera, moderating the live stream. There is another goon holding a boom mic above Dan and The Joker, and there are four others behind the camera. All of the goons who are not handling equipment are holding toy musket guns. It is probably safe to assume that there are similarly armed goons guarding the doors that Dan cannot see from his position tied to a chair. Likely two goons per exit. In a warehouse of this size, there have to be at least six more goons that Dan isn’t seeing. 

The Joker grits his teeth. “Who brought the Grayson kid here.” It’s not a question so much as it is a demand. 

“We did, boss,” two goons pipe up proudly from behind the camera. 

“Why don’t you two come up on camera so I can congratulate you for good work?” The Joker grins beseechingly. 

One of the two goons, the blond, shuffles nervously at this, whereas the other puffs out his chest. So only one has any brain cells. 

The prideful one grabs his comrade by the arm and drags him up to the camera with Dan and The Joker. They stand in front of Dan, blocking him from the camera’s view.

“I always reward good work, you see,” he says to his henchmen. “Now, you think this is good work?” 

“Yes, sir,” says Pride, while Blond frowns. 

“Take a good look at his face.” The villain gestures angrily to Dan’s unimpressed face. “What do you see?” 

“Dick Grayson, sir,” 

Blond shuffles, “He looks like he isn’t scared.” 

“No! Wrong! This isn’t Dick Grayson! This– This is some—” The Joker takes another glance at Dan, noting the black Gotham U hoodie that hides his muscles. “This is some fucking college twink!”

“Twink?” Dan mutters to himself, disgruntled. Sure, the hoodie is baggy and he’s seated instead of standing, but do those two things add up to him looking like a twink? 

The color has drained out of even Pride’s face at The Joker’s words. “Sir, please—”

But The Joker is already pulling out a comically large toy gun that probably has real bullets, and Dan sighs. It would probably be bad for his parole if he let a bunch of humans die in front of him. 

He phases out of the ropes binding him, safe from view with the two idiots in front of him. Then, he kicks The Joker down to the floor, sending the toy gun scattering across the cement floor of the warehouse. He stands and knocks Pride and Blond’s heads together, knocking them out as The Joker screeches with rage. 

The goons behind the camera aim their guns, but Dan is already moving behind the camera. He snags the guns out of their hands, snapping them in half with strength he doesn’t even have to think about. He moves so fast that at first they don’t even realize what’s happened. By the time they connect their missing firearms to the broken bits of metal on the floor, Dan has already clobbered them over the head, knocking them unconscious. 

He takes out the cameraman, too, and the goon holding the boom mic. Then, in mere seconds, he takes out all the goons at each exit, and he’s back at the filming station by the time The Joker has staggered to his feet. His original estimate had been off by two—there were eight other goons in total. 

Dan checks the iPhone—still live streaming. On TikTok, of all the goddamn apps. The comments are going wild on what’s going on: where’s the college student, how did he kick The Joker like that, do you guys think that those two goons have brain damage now, what was that metal scraping sound, where is The Joker? 

“Hey, brat!” snarls The Joker, clutching at his ribs. “That was not part of the script.”

Dan hates clowns, and he especially hates The Joker. Sure, Dan wiped out nearly all of humanity. Who doesn’t have a bad decade of villainous activity? But he did it quickly, and he didn’t do it under the guise of insanity. He owned up to it. And if Dan’s being honest, he’s… disgusted by it all now, even if it hurts himself to admit. 

If Dan isn’t human, then neither is The Joker. 

Still off camera, Dan moves so fast he basically teleports in front of The Joker. The other man stumbles back, but Dan reaches out and grabs him by the throat. He chokes and claws at Dan, but Dan isn’t human anymore, and so his nails catch on nothing but the cloth of his hoodie. He doesn’t even feel it.

He drags The Joker to the chair in front of the still live camera and shoves him into it. While he recovers from being choked, gasping and shuddering and so fucking human , Dan forces his hands behind him and uses the ropes he’d phased out of to tie The Joker up. When he ties the last knot, Dan stands tall, staring into the camera. 

“Hello, friends and family,” he greets the audience. He gives a small smile, and he makes sure that he is perfectly, utterly human with normal blue eyes and normal black hair and normal human skin. “As you can see, things have turned around for The Joker here. Now, I’m sure his original intent was to ransom out the Wayne kid, and it would be a shame to see that hard work and planning go to waste on a mistake, wouldn’t it? So why don’t we hold a… reverse ransom? Only, I don’t need funds. I’ll accept donations. My venmo is vladsucks03. My cashapp is dannight07.”

Dan’s smile grows into a wide grin. “Feel free to donate if you like. But even not a single person donates, The Joker dies today.” 

The Joker spits out a gasping laugh, “Ha! You think you can kill me? I gotta admit, that’s a good joke. But Batman—”

“Batman what?” Dan asks, stepping off camera to grab the black bag on the floor. He shoves it halfway into his pocket. He walks to The Joker’s toy gun, the only one he hadn’t broken, and he picks it up. 

“Batman is already on his way here,” The Joker says. “He always is by this point.”

“And Batman will save you?” Dan snorts. He moves to check the live stream, comments coming in so fast that the only reason he can read them is because he’s not human anymore. 

Is this for real

fuck yeah kill that guy

💥🔫🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

extremely common gotham uni W

im donating 50$ rn

Can we vote on how joker dies

Lol does he fr think that batman would help him

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Does anyone else find this incredibly attractive or is it just me 😳

guys my joker/batman fic update is gonna slap after this

Joker’s cooked

bro is about to have ao3 level donations

Hey what’s his cashapp again

Omg i think that guy is in my bio class

I’ll donate when hes acc dead

doin god's work 🥹👍

If bro doesnt do it he’s cooked

This guy is gonna have infinite rizz if he pulls this off

The Joker scoffs, “Of course he will. He’s done it before.”

Dan yanks his gaze from the comments to The Joker’s face, “What?”

The Joker nods his head up arrogantly. “Batsy can’t live without me. He saved me after fickle-ickle Nightwing killed me.” 

“Huh.” Dan blinks consideringly, switching his gaze back to the comments. They’re all freaking out about this new information. He steps back into the camera frame, pulling the hammer back on the toy gun. “Then I’ll just have to make sure it sticks.” 

He points the gun at The Joker’s face and fires. As expected, rainbow confetti is the only thing that flies out, dusting over The Joker in celebration of what is to come. 

The Joker laughs. 

“Cute,” says Dan. He walks around The Joker to stand behind him, directly in front of the camera. He removes the black bag from his pocket and puts it over The Joker’s face. 

He shoves the muzzle of the gun into the back of The Joker’s skull. Pulling back the hammer, he asks, “Any last words?” 

He pulls the trigger before The Joker can say anything. It’s funny. As expected, the second gunshot is a real bullet. The Joker’s head and body jerks forward. Blood splatters on Dan’s face, but it’s mostly on the floor and the unconscious Blond and Pride and on The Joker himself. 

For a moment, Dan can only stare. The Joker’s body is crumbled in on itself, held up only by the bindings on his arms to a chair nailed to the ground. 

He feels big. He feels good. 

He feels… dirty.

He clears his throat. He drops the gun. He lifts up the soaking black bag up just enough to check for a pulse. After thirty seconds of nothing, he says, “Well, that’s the end of The Joker.” 

He looks up, staring into the camera lens, and he chuckles. “I missed my community service project because of this bozo. You guys think my professor will accept this as community service?”

You guys think this will affect my ghost parole? he doesn’t ask. 

He bends down to check the pockets of Blond. He finds his phone and uses Blond’s thumbprint to bypass the password. His stomach curdles at the home screen—a picture of Blond and a little girl with his eyes and his nose. His eyes burn and he calls 911, trying not to blink.

“911 dispatch. What is your emergency?”

“Yeah, uh, I killed The Joker. But he kidnapped me first, so. Turnabout.” 

“You— sorry, you what?”

“I killed The Joker. He’s dead. I checked his pulse and everything.”

“O-oh.” The woman on dispatch sounds strangled. There are muffled sounds, frantic, that the receiver only barely picks up. Dan wonders what she’s doing, Asking for verification? Trying to triangulate his location? Celebrating the fucking good news? “Do you know where you are, sir?”

“Some warehouse, I guess. Probably at the docks. Do you want me to check?”

“No, sir, please stay where you are if there are no immediate threats.”

“Got it.” He clicks his tongue. 

“Can you tell me your name, sir? Are you injured somewhere?”

“I’m Dan. Uh, Dan Nightingale. I guess he thought I was the Grayson kid. Um. Dick Grayson, I mean. And no, I’m fine. His henchmen are injured and unconscious, though.” 

“Right. Okay. Hi, Dan. I’m Claire. First responders and patrol units are on their way to your location now.”

“Well, that’s good, I guess.” He almost wants to ask if she thinks that he’ll end up in Arkham for this, but he’s pretty sure that there’s no jury on Earth that would convict him. Well, maybe not. He did ask for donations for murdering The Joker, after all. That might put a damper on his defense. 

“Dan?” asks Claire. 

“Yeah?”

“Is– is he really dead?”

Dan looks at the body and kicks a limp leg, avoiding looking at the gory black bag. Nothing. “Yep. As a doornail.” And he knows death intimately. 

She breathes a shaky, staticky sigh into the receiver. “Thank you, Dan.”  

He blinks, “Can you get fired for saying that?”

She laughs, “Honey, everyone not on break right now is listening to this. My boss just broke a bottle of tequila out from his desk.” 

He barks out his own laugh. “Oh?”

“You’re about to be very popular, Dan.”

“Well, I—” 

And seventeen minutes late to the party, the windows at the top of the warehouse shatter open. In cascades of broken glass and grappling cables, the Bats drop down to the floor. 

“Away from the body,” commands Batman as soon as his feet hit the ground. His little birdies, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and the newest Robin fall in line with him. Robin makes quick work of rounding up the unconscious goons and binding them. 

Dan obligingly puts the hand that isn’t holding the phone up in the air, but before moving away from the camera’s view, he says, “Just a reminder guys, my venmo is vladsucks03 and my cashapp is dannight07. Please remember that I might need a lawyer soon.”

“Okay, funny guy,” Nightwing says, entering into frame and pulling Dan away by the shoulder while Red Robin shuts down the live stream.

“It was self-defense and defense of another. A whole population, if you will,” Dan says. 

Red Hood snickers, “Only crime here was the kidnapping.” 

“Dan, are you okay?”

“Bats are here, Claire,” Dan tells her. He watches Batman lift the black bag off The Joker’s face, revealing the viscera and gray matter beneath. He’s not smiling anymore. Dan hasn’t seen that kind of gore in years. He’s the cause of it once more and he doesn’t regret that. It feels invigorating. It feels devastating. “I guess I’ll hang up now. If The Joker is mysteriously alive after this, it’s because Batman couldn’t handle not being the hero.” 

“Dan—” He hangs up as Batman’s shoulders go minutely tense at his words. The man stands fully, turning his head slightly to narrow his cowled eyes at Dan. 

“Problem, sir?” 

“You killed The Joker.” 

“I saved myself and his two idiots.” He shrugs. 

“You had him restrained.” 

He rests an offended hand against his chest. “I was frightened that he would escape, sir, just as he escapes from the very place you put him every eight to ten months.” The Bat doesn’t want to be judge, jury, and executioner. Fine. Whatever, he gets it. Dan hadn’t wanted to be that, neither as hero nor villain. He’d wanted to save, he wanted to be saved, and then he wanted everyone to feel like he did. But he’s not so prideful now to know that he wouldn’t have stopped then, not unless someone handled the job permanently. 

The Joker needed permanence. 

The Bat can play fucking judge all he wants. But he’d be just as villainous if he tried enforcing his own moral code on other people.

“You asked for donations,” Red Robin says dryly. “You were basically putting a hit out on him.”

“My art in life textbook is $300. How much do you think a lawyer is going to cost?”

“Hn.” 

“Stop giving the man a hard time for doing a public service, Batman.” Red Hood shoulder checked Nightwing away and held out a gloved hand for Dan to shake. He takes the other’s hand and firmly shakes it. The contact, while not to skin, gives Dan goosebumps and chills his lungs. 

Jay?

“Let’s hope my Habitudes professor agrees with you.”

“She will. Everyone with three brain cells to rub together will.” The man cuts a glare at Batman. 

Dan didn't say what pronouns his professor uses. 

The rumble in Red Hood’s voice is enticing. He looks at the other man, really looks, and notices his broad shoulders, how tall he is (though Dan towers over him even  disguised as a human), and his muscled arms. Arms that Dan’s pretty sure are normally hidden beneath a Gotham U hoodie, just like his own. 

He smirks as sirens sound in the distance. “Let’s hope the cops agree with you.”

“They will,” Hood says. It sounds like a promise for something entirely different. 

“Gag me,” Red Robin mutters.

Robin says, “For once I agree with you.”

Without looking away from Dan, Red Hood flips the two off, and yeah, maybe redemption can be more promising than he initially thought. 

xxXxx

A week later, Dan finally goes back to his regular schedule. His ghost parole is intact—he’d even been thanked by some Gothamite ghosts, and Danny begrudgingly told him that there were ghosts who said they’d riot if Dan was given any punishment. As for the mortal side of things, Vlad Masters had graciously sent his team of attorneys to Dan’s aid. While Dan still hates him, he has no issue about using a free team of lawyers to defend him. He’s guaranteed to walk.

Jazz had called him. It made his core unsettled and stony. She wasn’t disappointed, and he doesn’t know how that makes him feel. He doesn’t regret it—The Joker would never change. But what does that say about him and his progress? 

Jazz in general makes him uneasy now. She used to be his big sister, and now she’s younger than him, and he tried to kill her, and— she’s different from his Jazz, is all. But if she’d always known like she said, then his Jazz did, too, right? Could she still be his Jazz, a Jazz who got to grow up? Still be his sister? It would be stupid to hope so, right?

He feels bitter.

She said she’s considering Gotham University as her college of choice as she nears high school graduation. Apparently, their psych department is amazing. 

So maybe hope isn’t so bad. 

Dan sits down at his 10:00 am Habitudes class. Everyone already in the room stares at him. Before they can offer any congrats or thanks or swarm him, Jay sits down next to him. 

Dan looks at Jay’s mostly black hair and his tuft of white at his front bangs. He’s wearing his usual Gotham U hoodie, a hoodie that likely hides muscled arms. A chill builds in his lungs like it did when speaking with Red Hood, like it has every other time he’s talked with Jay Peters. 

…Hm. A hoodie that definitely hides muscled arms. 

“Hey,” says Jay with a grin. “Crazy week, I hear?”

“You’re a Gothamite. I’m sure you’re aware of exactly how crazy it’s been.” 

“You should tell me about it sometime.”

“Sure. After class? We can grab an early lunch. Make it a date, maybe.”

Jay smiles, cute and small. His eyes flash green—a baby Death-touched soul, still can’t control his spooky abilities, how adorable—and he says, “That sounds perfect.”

[realcube]

HALLOWEEN COUPLE COSTUMES + hq

oikawa toru

barbie and ken. it's 100% his idea too. ideally he'd want you to go as the default barbie, with the pink dress and heels, while he'd be surfer ken with his shirt off.

nishinoya yuu

walter white and jesse pinkman. the previous year he had went as pitbull nation (rapper pitbull) with tanaka but he wanted to do a couples costume with you instead this year. so going as walter white meant he could reuse his bald cap. the two of you would go as them when they're wearing their yellow scrubs.

kageyama tobio

pro volleyball players...

kuroo tetsuro

regina george and cady heron. your friends refused to go as the plastics so doing it as a couples costume was your next best bet. when you told kuroo you wanted to do a mean girls inspired costume, he assumed you'd be regina and he'd be aaron. but you insisted he go as cady, since they are a more recognisable duo, and he has a hard time saying no to you. on the bright side, he made it work.

sakusa kiyoomi

men in black. low effort but extremely recognisable. he doesn't pose for the photos properly but it's okay because he's serving face anyway.

kenma kuzome

link and zelda. of course it has to be something video game inspired, but also he's lazy and doesn't want to put too much effort into his costume, so link is ideal since he can just buy the whole thing online. but he'd combust when he sees you as princess zelda tbh.

yamaguchi tadashi

taki tachibana and mitsuha miyamizu. he is lowk a sap for romance movies so he'd flip at the idea of getting to dress as one with you. he wouldn't mind putting time into preparing a costume, but the fact he just needs to dress in his school uniform and a wig is definitely plus tbh.

tsukishima kei

marie antoinette and the cake. tsukishima isn't nessecarily lazy but he doesn't care for halloween and therefore doesn't want to spend a lot of time/money on a costume. you suggest hundreds of low effort costume ideas to him and he rejects them everytime but this one resonates with him. especially as it means he gets to carry around and snack on a slice of cake. let them eat cake!

ushijima wakatoshi

mummies. the ancient egyptian kind, not the parental kind. it's impossible to find many costumes that would fit his stature, so your options are extremely limited. in the end you opt to just roll him up in toilet paper and call it a day.

iwaizumi hajime

spartans. you need an excuse for him to show off those athletic trainer muscles 👀

tendou satori

ringmaster and circus clown. it's up to you which one you'd rather be because he really doesn't mind. on one hand he thinks it would be awesome to dress up as a clown but also he'd love to see you as one, that would be so cute. plus he could definitely rock a red tailcoat.

[running-with-kn1ves]

Can you do a yandere killer clown that has been following you all night on Halloween

A/N:I wrote this a long time ago and hated it at the time but it really wasn't as bad as I thought! Hope you all are having a wonderful 2024 :>

Synopsis: A suspicious "killer clown" has been stalking you on Halloween to your dismay. Is it really just a costume?

CW: murderous clown, clownery, slight in-depth stabbing(death), stalking, intimidation, general fear 

Word count: 2.7k

“Nice costume, man!” The echoed memory rang hollow inside your bobbing head. “I bet the black helps hide all the blood, huh?” 

At the time you mischievously brought a hand to your mouth, shielding it from the eyes of curious and terrified children who mersmerisingly watched you joke to the killer clown. The masked figure hovered in front of you, staring blankly from behind the blur of white and red. The figure didn’t move, didn’t alter to his dominant hand with the bloody knife that rested in his palm. 

You were met with silence as your comment passed; dark, invisible eyes watched you through the small eye-slits of the clown’s mask. Its elaborate makeup donned diamonds under and above each eye hole, a spongy red nose covering the mask’s nostrils. Though, you could still hear whoever was underneath, breathing-- the air pushing against the silicone. Painted black lips covered the faint outline on the masks mouth, detailed to almost look feminine. However, the broad shoulders underneath the harlequin patterned suit made you think otherwise. 

You gave an amused smile, letting the figure keep in-character as he watched you slowly pass. A whiff of reeking gore and thick blood came across you as you walked away; a thought of ‘maybe you should have honked the clown’s nose for good measure’ crossed your mind, but the smell made you think otherwise. If he was dedicated enough to cover himself in pigs blood, who knew what else he’d do to you to stay in character.

Your mind ran in circles as the heels of your feet ached, your subconscious desperate to know what you said that made it all go wrong, or what made it go too right with this costumed killer clown. 

Because here you were, walking down your neighborhood’s sidewalk with flickering light posts barely brightening the road in front of you as you sped passed your front door for the third time. With a dirty hand mirror gripped in your sweaty palm, you faced it slightly below your shoulder, hoping it was low enough that the shadow behind you couldn’t see it. You caught a glimpse of the red-speckled plastic mask and dazzling crimson hair of the clown behind you. Shutting the pocket mirror immediately, you picked up your pace again for whatever time again that night-- you've lost count. But it didn’t matter, the masked freak always seemed to be just a lamp post away, gradually getting closer with a joyful pep in his step.

After your first interaction with him at a lame Halloween festival, you then saw him again at the gas station right across your friends’ street, and once more at that same friend's costume party. You thought it must've been a coincidence to see him inside the gas station, only witnessing the back of his crazy dyed hair that looked too attached to be a wig; talk about being dedicated to the bit. Maybe he gets paid for being a scare actor? You didn't know, you didn't get the chance to ask before he ran out at the sight of a police officer perusing the candy aisle. Too bad for him, it was only a prominent gay dressed up in a sexy uniform. 

But there he was again that night, peeking behind your friend's bedroom window that you sat across from. Seeing him there nearly made you shriek, jumping up enough to spill your drink all over the guy next to you. When you tried to explain, the clown had disappeared, only to show up mere minutes later from the bathroom window while you tried to rub beer out of your costume. 

Seeing him the second time was nearly as startling, but you managed to keep your reaction to a minimum, merely glaring at the bloodied clown from behind dark glass. You threw your cup at the window, hoping to scare him off or show that you weren’t worth fucking around with, but he… didn’t move. Through the tiny hole in the mouth of the mask, breath came through, just slightly fogging up the glass. How the hell did he get up here in the first place, weren’t you on the second floor?? 

You turned away, hoping to just turn the light off and that’d be the last you’d see of him; but a thump on the glass told you otherwise. Another thump, this time almost with a clinking crack. Your hand still resting on the lightswitch; you nonchalantly looked back to see a familiar knife jabbed against the window pane, small cracks growing as he twisted it further into the window. Your hope of giving an apathetic reaction to deter him did nothing, gloved hands coming up to squeakily draw a dark red line on the window. 

A threat? Maybe he's trying to apologize? What was he going to write-- you wondered if it was worth even sticking around for. But instead of words, the red line was finished with another, creating a small, dripping misshapen heart on the bathroom window. You slammed down on the lightswitch and shut the door quickly at the sight, making your way down the stairs. 

He had to be one of your friend’s frat-guy pals, someone who went out of their way to terrorize on the nights of halloween in unassuming grocery stores or parties like this one. Someone here at this party who was just fucking with you-- that’s just what it was. 

But now, hours later on the dark pavement of a street that looked so unfamiliar at night, you were starting to second guess yourself. The sweet whistling of what could only be from the clown behind you grew louder, squeaky shoes mimicking your steps and seeming to pick up in pace. You did the same, nearly jogging as you saw something moving in the distance. It was oddly pale and hunched over, going faster than you could run. 

It was a biker! Some random fucking guy on his bike at 2 in the morning! You assumed this was what people meant when miracles roamed the earth, waiting to be found. 

“Hey!” You shouted, running towards the speedy white demon as you blocked the middle of the sidewalk, hoping the guy would see you waving at him. But his stare was blank, not focusing on you nor the sidewalk in front of him. All he did, was bike. 

“HEY! Can you please help me--” a pair of white wireless earbuds were nestled deep in his ears, immune to your shouting. Once he came cycling up close, almost too close, you realized he wasn’t stopping. His eyes completely looked past you, swatting you away with a sweaty arm as you stumbled into the street after narrowly avoiding his bike.

“What the fuck!” You yelled, watching him ride away as you threw your hands in frustration. You stopped to watch as the clown stepped to the side to give the incoming biker a clear path. This guy was just going to go past like everything was fine, not paying attention to the person in distress right in front of him, OR the creepy ass harlequin clown he was approaching. You gave a heavy, exasperated sigh and turned around, beginning to walk again as you hoped maybe the new distraction would stop your bloody walking partner. 

But a sudden thud against the sidewalk caught you off guard. 

Did he really ride into the clown?

 No, from behind you, the man’s bike laid twisted with spinning wheels in front of your hunched clown stalker. The man was grasping his side with one arm, having fallen on top of his bike as his hand shielded from above. 

Well, that's kind of what he gets for biking at the witching hour. And for not helping someone in distress! Karma's a bitch. 

You hadn't noticed where the gore-striken clown's weapon had landed during the whole ordeal, not even thinking of it until a wet 'shlink!' and violent howl was released. The biker held his raised wrist with a shaking cradle, looking up at the knife that was just pulled out of him.

And just as the knife was removed, it was slammed back in with great inertia and skilled positioning on the clown's part. A wretched sound left the biker's throat, along with the odd crunching that came with him being pushed farther down onto his minimalistic bike. 

A great red gash split onto his forehead, leading to the knife's metal stem that seemed to make peace with its new home inside the biker's skull. One of his earbuds popped out, crashing onto the sidewalk as blood flecked into his left eye. He seemed to look at the fallen earpiece, no longer acknowledging the knife now pushed as far as it could stab.  

The clown seemed to stand back, watching the creation of his short few motions. He let out a whistle similar to an animated sigh. Comically, he wiped invisible sweat from his brow, looking over at you. 

Your feet began to shuffle backward, grating against the rubble on the road as your hands flew to your mouth with an intensity that made you lose breath. 

The mask seemed to look at you with no emotion, blankly watching with a sad smile as the clown stood simply. With the silence of the street, the stillness of the wind, you could hear faint breaths from across the street. They were soon replaced by a muffled whistle beneath the plastic, the clown's eyes dark and unseeable behind it. But the tiniest speck of light, a teensy reflection from the streetlight showed the human eyes of someone…unpredictable. 

He stopped, only to give a high-pitched whistle as he pulled his steel weapon out of its created hole and rammed the knife back into the cowering biker, this time his chest receiving the treatment. The clown pulled it out again, only to prepare in the same position, raking up the bikers chest with the blade once more. Each time, he whistled and heightened it to mimic the sound of the knife flying through the air, only to crash down into a body of meat. He stopped once the knife made a connection to the skin, only to begin again. 

You stood in grotesque awe, mouth ajar as you tripped over the sidewalk's curb. If it wasnt clear already to your record-broken mind, you needed to leave, now. You knew the guy was a creep, someone wayy to into the “murderous killer clown” trope but now, shit was a little too real. You began to run, making your way around the rest of the block without a care of whether or not he chased after you, finding your home. You needed to get inside, somewhere with locked doors that would be a barrier too thick for him to cut down. 

Sweat and tears blinded you as black road filled your vision, along with your dim phone screen. you pressed the all too familiar three numbers on your phone. A nine, and two ones. 

You waited for the shrill gurgles and distant whistling to stop from behind you, to hear a human voice pickup from the screen against your ear; which thankfully came after about two consecutive rings. 

“Hello!?” You unknowingly interrupted, hearing the end of an “your emergency?” 

“Hi-- uh, some freak has been following me and,” You were cut off by a grating voice, one slightly deadened and distant. 

"Now that's just being mean." 

Your heart jumped as you ran, dread settling inside you as the voice hummed in disappointment.

In the distance you could see the familiar front porch of your home, only about five houses down.

"You've got..to be…kidding," you huffed out of breath, elongating your stride to look like a wild runner as you sprinted to your driveway. 

"Clowns are universally beloved; maybe you're the freak; considering you picked me I'd say you already had questionable taste."

"How'd you-- but I called--" You huffed, yet the clown cut you off. 

"You really shouldn't leave your phone unattended in a room full of people…who knows when a devious comic of a murderer might strike! Especially one so handy in manipulating technology." You could practically hear the animated pose he struck along with the words. "So, having fun yet?"

You didn't answer, or rather couldn't from the lack of oxygen in your throat. All you could do was focus on running; but that's alright, because the freakshow on the other side talked enough for the both of you. 

"We'll I hope so; in fact, you know I've chosen you to be my last man standing. My final girl," He paused for dramatic effect "My, surviving victim of tonight's excursion… you'll be a grand commemorating prize to bring back home, to be sure. You're just lucky that buddy boy back here took your place-- if he hadn't, I can't say I'd have been able to restrain myself enough to keep you alive until we got back home."

What the fuck was he going on about? What did it matter anyway, your sides were cramping so twistedly that it and your upcoming mailbox were all you could manage to concentrate on.

An infectious laugh cracked over the line, running from one ear through the other as you ran with your phone gripped tight. Looking down at your smudged screen, the caller ID read a simple “Unknown number.” You tried pressing the end call button, only for your screen to remain frozen. The caller screen almost looked like a screenshot, holding your phone captive as none of the buttons managed to work. The on/off button clicked and clicked, not altering the white screen. 

“Ahh I can still see you running down there… trying to hang up on me while sprinting is hard, huh? Just make this easier and stop where you are, save me the trouble of having to play this hide and seek game for tonight. I promise if you make me play, I'll win."

You stop for a moment to catch your breath, turning around to see neon red hair in the distance and a black outline, the red diamonds on the clown's suit blending in.  He still stood next to the fallen biker, holding something to his ear. 

You wheezed out a laugh, throat beginning to close up.

"Oh yeah?... I'm halfway down the road, bitch! Once I get inside it's.. gonna be over for you. I don't, I don't know what the fuck this is-- but you're not gettin away with--with anything!" You held onto your knees, heaving into the phone as your chest burned. The silence on the other line was hardly noticeable as the sound of blood rushing through your ears and your heartbeat drowned everything else out. 

"...Don't say I didn't warn you, doll."

The phone without warning went dark, line cutting off as the caller screen went missing.

Through blurry eyes you saw the clown lower his hand that was once at his ear. With a short moment of stillness, he stared at you. That stillness, morphed almost automatically into a full-on run. The pitter patter of squeaky rubber shoes on the gravel was adrenaline-inducing, filling the silence of the dark street besides the heaving of yours and the clown's breath. 

"Oh fuck…" you murmured, turning around to begin your sprint once more. 

As long as you could reach the house first, open the door with your keys in time, lock the door-- you'd be fine. You didn't have another phone in the house, but you'd be fine-- you'd just, at least be safe. From him.

 But speaking of keys, where were yours?

You ran your hands over and over the pockets in your clothes, feeling nothing but the scraps of empty candy wrappers in your pockets. Where the fuck were your keys?!?

Finally, the grace of your front door made its way directly in front of you, your exhausted legs running up the short porch steps. You hadn't given even one second to looking back at your fellow runner, panic of losing your keys and the upcoming door occupying your mind. You jiggled the door handle, banging against the door with your shoulder as you let out a panicked exhale. 

You could hear him getting closer, hear the labored breathing and chaotic deep giggling muffled by silicone. 

The sound of heavy shrill footsteps stopped-- but beside your rapid heaving, hot breath covered the side of your shoulder. Wet red locks touched your ear, a deep inhale came to grace the top of your matted hair.

Four fingers covered in a frilly, harlequin-patterned glove were thrusted in front of your face, jingling your precious keys in their grip. 

"Looking for these?"

[homunculus-argument]

I first tried to perm my hair when I was 14. At-home box perm, no idea what I was doing, just boldly going into the unknown. It looked like shit. Pure freaking garbage. I had failed dying my hair earlier so it was orange to begin with, so now it was an orange puff of frizzy curls like a clown wig. My sister howled with laughter, saying that I look like a fucking poodle, which did not help. I was 14 and I had irreversibly ruined my hair. If you had handed me a gun at that moment I would have shot myself right there.

Our mother, who had had perms for like 20 years at that point, did not tell me that I could still wash it off and didn't actually have to be stuck living like that for months or to have to shave it off. She didn't tell my sister to knock it off and stop being cruel when I was already crying. Instead, she came to me and gently told me that there's no use crying over that. That it doesn't matter how I look, and that the world is going to be full of people who say whatever they want and if I'm going to let it upset me every single time, I'm going to spend my whole life crying over every snide remark. I just need to grow a thicker skin and endure it.

Well, I did grow up, eventually, and moved out. Turns out that most people in the world actually aren't mean at all, and that I don't have the obligation to put up with people treating me whatever way they feel like. That was a hard thing to learn. But to be fair, that's nothing compared to how hard my sister has it. She's in her 30s and still struggling to learn that other people don't have the obligation to put up with her treating them whatever way she feels like.

[stormyoceans]

Following the Sherlock Holmes method and scouring Inst ppl came to the following: View Off Gun Sea Poon Dunk can be involved in one (1) project. 🤡 GMM24 you should come soon, we are losing touch with reality here. 🤯

LITERALLY ALL OF US FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS OF OUR LIVES

THIS CANNOT BE GOOD FOR OUR HEALTH AT THIS RATE WE’RE GONNA BE ATTENDING A MASS STREAMING EVENT OF GMMTV 2024 AT THE PSYCH WARD

…….but because i love losing my mind, after i read your message i scoured twitter for more clues and i found out that people are also speculating about:

kapook phatchara being in the cast as well since she was seen hanging out with offgun + view;

first being in the cast as well since he appeared in one of off’s instagram story along with sea (they had that weird face filter on so i have no idea how people can tell it was them but i trust everyone’s detective skills) [i also can't find that tweet again so if anyone can find it please let me know so i can link it ;;;;;;];

the project being produced by the parabdee studio since its instagram account now follows all of these artists.

considering it’s the same studio that made shows like the gifted, f4 thailand and the player, i think the big cast actually makes sense sooooooo 👀👀👀

regardless of whether all of this will turn out to be true or not, sea and off being together yesterday is just too odd to be a coincidence. at this point im 99,9999999% sure we’re getting that sea solo project so you know. SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING THROWING UP SPINNING COUNTERCLOCKWISE ON THE FLOOR BARKING BITING SCREECHING HOWLING CLAWING MY FACE OFF

[heartfullofleeches]

One fact about each murder clown because I lobe them.

Green Murder Clown has plushies of all of their partners hidden in their dungeon of a bedroom. When they are mad at one of them, they will carry the plush around and talk to it instead of the clown in question. They have chewed eyes and limbs off these doll before. Each one is assigned a scent that brings Green comfort and reminds them of their lovers - Mime Reader's doll is licorice scented.

Orange works part time at a pizzeria in an upper scale section of the city. They eavesdrop on parents getting drunk at the bar for the next best locations for the crew to hit up if they're ever in need of cash. They hate every second of working there, but their boss lets them take home whatever food is made that wasn't purchased so they can't complain too much.

Purple is glued to an old lighter they own. Eats fuel like a motherfucker, but it's the most important thing to them besides the crew. It's the last thing they possess from their previous life. Sometimes they write all the sappy garbage they want to tell Mime and the rest of the crew down only to burn them once they've finished. It's easier than saying "I love you." for them. Being insatiably horny for their partners is the closest they can get to being romantic most days. Let me hit it raw = "I love you and want to be with you for the rest of my days"

Pink is extremely protective of their hair. They wear extravagant wigs because they are pretty and because they are what Pink cannot obtain easily. Pink has short, damaged hair as a result of chemicals put in their hair over the years to make the perfect by those around them. They have too much trauma from this time to see a stylist for help, but they tend to it on their own and feels at peace when their lovers comb or brush it for them.

Red has Cataplexy - triggered mainly by laughter. It is incredibly hard to make them laugh as is and episodes can be far in between, but when they do occur Red may be unable to move or talk. Bouts of silence they have during times the gang are all relaxing together have sometimes been due to this. By now, the remaining clowns can detect when these spells happen and are quick to step in. This is also why they do not drink alcohol.

Blue has back/neck problems from slouching their whole life. They've always been the tallest person in a room and hates stigmas that come with their height. One source for their endless tears is the aches they feel when they stand up straight for too long. Massages or someone sitting on their back relieves some of the pain. They offer to carry Mime often because they love the Mime and they act as a back brace for them.

💛(yellow) is the only murder clown to have work professionally as a clown in the past. It is why they struggle with being around everyone else for long periods of time. It's hard to face genuine, loving smiles when all they've known were fakes. They also feel they do not deserve love despite everyone in the gang having blood on their hands as well. They sleep in vents or under the others' bed because all they ever had to sleep in was an old sleeping bag and as they grew up, it shrank, but the tightness brought them peace. Some days when they're in a manic state, the only thing that can keep them going is being buried beneath the bodies of their lovers in a cuddle pile.

They bail as soon as they're feeling better because touchy is icky unless they say it isn't.

[gffa]

Laughing my ass right off at Bo-Katan’s never ending terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time, like in the span of about a fucking week, she has: 

Din Djarin come knocking on her door and she has to deal with his quest to find the living waters as he prods every emotional bruise she still has about all the Mandalorians abandoning her

Din gets himself snared by some weird eyeball in a jar in a robot body so the weird green baby has to come tell her to rescue him

Which she does and then falls into the Living Waters with him and possibly sees a Mythosaur making her question her sanity

Then her fucking childhood home gets blown up by Imperial remnants, just one more reminder that everything she was gifted she has lost, that she has failed her family’s legacy one more time

So sure why not, let’s go join the group she doesn’t actually believe in and called a cult just last season, but they’re reasonably nice to her and she’s good at fighting, so actually they’re pretty cool

But she’s still quietly freaking out that she may have seen a mythical legendary creature like is she LOSING HER FUCKING MIND HERE??? 

And how the fuck do you eat without taking your helmet off??

Suddenly she’s being pushed into leadership of the war party, but it’s not bad, she got to stay by the fire, and it’s nice to be useful, even if she still feels out of sorts.

And then even more suddenly she’s being told she walks both worlds, that she needs to unite Mandalore one more fucking time

LET’S GO KICK SOME PIRATE ASS!!!11!

So sure why the fuck not.  WHY THE FUCK NOT.  Let’s go to some decked out vacation planet in the middle of Bumfuck Outer Rim

Let’s take a stupid as shit detour into finding some malfunctioning droids with a guy who has unresolved droid-related trauma and literally KICKS THE DROIDS just to be a dick so they’ll react, 

Like Bo-Katan Kryze doesn’t have enough shit to deal with, every time she has to stop and deal with some absolute clown buffoonery, she’s reminded that she’s in full clown wig and makeup herself, this is her fucking life now and I was LAUGHING MY ASS OFF ABOUT IT THE ENTIRE TIME, Bo-Katan’s life is just one long string of, “Life is already so goddamned weird, this might as well happen.” I love you, babe, but I also love your long suffering face as you have to deal with being in a Star Wars show.

[nochukoo97]

boyfriend drabbles (pt.32)

pairing: jungkook x oc

summary: the one where you miss jungkook’s long hair and he drags you to go hiking

word count: 1.4k+

boyfriend drabbles masterlist!

“Hi baby,” You jump at the voice that calls out right behind you, head whipping to the back as your eyes widen at the sudden voice.

But a relieved sigh escapes your mouth as you spot Jungkook boyishly smiling down at you, his earrings catch your attention as they sway slightly as he shuffles.

“You scared me,” You frown, reaching back to poke a finger at his chest. Jungkook only hums with a smile, he takes his time to admire your state, glasses perched on the bridge of your nose, your tablet in front of you filled with notes, your hair pulled into a bun.

“Wanted to surprise you, are you not happy to see your boyfriend?” He teases you, leaning down to peck your cheek as he wraps his arms around you from behind.

“I am,” You sheepishly admit, chasing his lips to get a proper kiss this time, “Was thinking about you the whole day,”

“Yeah?” Jungkook untangles himself from you, walking over to plop next to you on the couch, the sudden weight pulling your body down a bit as you giggle, “Wanna watch something together?”

“Mm, but I have to finish this first Kook,” You hum, eyes advert back to the screen as you scrutinise your handwriting, scribbles etched all over your lecture notes, showing your half-asleep self taking notes.

“But I think you need a break,” He takes the tablet out of your grasp and settles it down on the coffee table in front of you.

“Baby, give me five more minutes-” Without finishing your sentence, Jungkook settles himself comfortably with his head in your lap, his own hand reaching out for yours as he guides you to stroke his hair.

You sigh, but your hands continue to card through his hair, pausing when you come to a realisation:

You miss his long hair terribly.

“Your hair is so short now,” Your hands gently smooth through his head, as your boyfriend peers up at your pouty face.

“Didn’t you say you missed my short hair last week? That’s why I got it cut baby,” His eyebrows furrow at your sudden sullenness.

“I did miss your short hair, now I miss your long hair”

He snorts from below you, his hands reaching towards yours to urge you to continue carding your fingers through his hair.

“What should I do with you huh?” He chuckles, finding the whole situation amusing from how affected you seemed to be over the length of his hair.

“I just miss all of you,” You sulk, “You look hot with your short hair but you also look cute with your long hair, but you look both cute and hot at the same time with either,”

Jungkook laughs at your ramble, “Maybe it’s time to invest in a wig,”

“Don’t be silly,” You grumble, “The only wig we have is that stupid clown wig you used to scare me on halloween,” You frown as you recall how Jungkook had hidden in your bathroom and scared the living hell out of you.

He may or may not have made you cry out of shock, but that’s only for you and him to know anyways.

“Then what if I miss your short hair?” He teases you, fully knowing you’d be annoyed by his teasing.

“Jungkook!” You scold him, pulling your hands away from his head as he sulks at the loss of contact.

“I never want to be reminded of that ever again,” You groan, hands running over your face as you recall the tormenting moment where you had impulsively cut your own hair mid-pandemic with Jungkook at home.

Only for the haircut to turn out uneven and at a weird and awkward length at your shoulders.

“But we cut it together! It’s a bonding moment,” He sits up, facing you as you sigh.

“Maybe I should give you an uneven cut too and then we can talk about this,” Another grumble leaves your mouth.

“Okay Miss-Grumpy, let’s watch a show now,” He gives you an affectionate peck on the forehead, which you weren’t going to lie, calmed you down.

“We’re watching Nailed It! today,” You tell him, and upon hearing the words come out of your mouth, Jungkook starts whining.

“Baby, we’ve finished that show! Let’s watch another show,” He clicks onto your netflix profile, snorting to himself at the name you’ve chosen: jungkooksrealwife123

It may have been a little spite back at all the other “jungkook’s girlfriend/wife” accounts online, but you’ve never specifically told him anyways.

“Kook, there’s different seasons to it, we have to watch the christmas one,” You grab the remote from him to start finding the particular series, but your boyfriend isn’t impressed.

“I swear, they all mess up on purpose, it’s so hard to watch someone burn a whole cake or spill the batter everywhere,”

“But you secretly like it,”

He keeps quiet because you’re right, he secretly enjoys watching you giggle at the TV when someone makes a silly mistake, or the way your mouth parts in awe when someone does something cool, Jungkook doesn’t mind sitting through a bunch of people spilling and burning stuff if it makes you happy.

Jungkook also may or may not have stayed up even after you had fallen asleep, to continue watching the series, but you didn’t need to know about that anyways.

-

“Psst,”

“Baby wake up”

“Hello?”

You’re ignoring whatever is trying to wake you up from your slumber, your eyelids feel heavy, the dream you were in slowly fading away.

“No,” Your voice is scratchy as you turn away from the voice, pulling up your blanket to hide away from Jungkook.

“Come on, you need to wake up now,” He whispers so close to your ear that his breath fans onto your skin, tickling you ever so slightly.

“Ticklish,” You whine, cowering away from him, hoping your boyfriend would give you ten more minutes, although you might have asked for ten more minutes half an hour ago.

“You promise we’d go on a hike today,” His voice drags out as you feel your boyfriend’s hands snaking under your figure, easily lifting you up from the comfort of your bed.

“Put me down! I’ll get up soon,” You smack his chest, with not much effort, but it doesn’t do anything to him.

It takes Jungkook a bit of effort to get you to wash up and change to get ready, but the fact that it was almost 6am in the morning, you definitely weren’t a morning person.

“Let’s go,” He hums, watching your still half-asleep figure trudge across the living room to put on your socks.

Jungkook has a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he notices a strand of hair left untied, or the faint lines on your cheek from when you were sleeping, the way you specifically looked for your christmas socks, even though it wasn’t even christmas yet.

He could live in this moment forever, simply just admiring you, as you.

-

“Slow down,” You’re panting, contemplating your decision to join Jungkook, who is literally almost twice your size from how much muscle he has.

“Baby we need to speed up if we want to catch the sunrise,” He grabs onto your arm and attempts to get you to keep up with his pace, but you’re exhausted, sweating from the sweltering heat.

“I can’t, I’m literally going to die of heatstroke,”

Jungkook halts in his steps and whips his head to look at you, and you realised that he took your words seriously by the look of concern on his face.

“Okay sorry, maybe I was exaggerating,” You smile sheepishly at him, Jungkook only huffs in relief, almost contemplating on carrying you back down and driving you to the nearest clinic.

Maybe he was being a little overprotective but that’s just how much he worries for you.

“Piggyback?” He wipes the sweat of your forehead with a towel as you grimace, feeling sticky and gross.

“Okay,”

Your strong boyfriend carries you the rest of the way, and you’re wondering why you didn’t think of doing this earlier.

-

“Holy shit,” Your jaw drops when Jungkook gently puts you down, revealing a sunrise, hues of pink, orange and yellow paint the sky, it’s almost unbelievable.

“Worth it right?” He muses next to you, settling down on the grass before gesturing for you to do the same.

“So worth it,” You whisper, too awed to even speak properly, your heart swells at the moment, taking in everything.

“I love you,”

You turn to face him now, Jungkook has the biggest love-strucked expression on his face, making you smile so widely your cheek hurts. Oh, Jungkook, making you fall for him day after day.

“I love you too,” You lean in to kiss him, the butterflies flutter once again in your stomach, like you’re kissing him again for the first time.

taglist: @imlyfie @jksgirlhere @laylasbunbunny @borahaexoxo @jklvrs-world @jksoftii @yoongisgirl69

[kamii-2]

hii so as yk i wanted to make an requesttt. i wanna know if you can do ice brady hc (maybe a lil spicy iykyk)

i chose ice brady because i honestly because she’s literally so underrated i see no fics abt her and i feel like i need some(desperately)

its ok if u cant do it know js take ur time mll💋💋

love u smm have a amazing day ❤️❤️

hi lovelyyy, i love this request and i agree, ice is super underrated (she’s so fine omfg)

warning(s): cussing, smut

genre: fluff & smut

pairing(s): ice brady x reader

==================================

always making dirty jokes

like that one live where kk, paige, snd ice were talking about height and kk says that her and nika were face to face and ice goes “mouth to mouth.” 😭😭

big and little spoon, depends on the day

you guys barely ever get into arguments so when you do it’s bad

shes the type to say stuff that purposely makes you mad

a bully 😭

definitely scream sings dirty songs ALL THE TIME

like she will be in the kitchen and youll be in the bedroom and all you hear is her screaming the lyrics to all i need by lloyd

calls you names all the time

“okay little ugly.” “you tell me the opposite every day.”

records you eating and posts it with the big back audio

now every time you eat you hide from her 💀

lowkey (highkey) slow as hell

loves to facetime you when you can’t come over and play roblox

falls asleep on the phone every time you guys call

LOVES taking showers with you (in cute ways and in dirty ways)

dramatic as fuck

my blurb about ice being sick is a great example of her being dramatic 😭😭

tells you that she loves you before bed every night

loves kisses and hugs

“one more kiss?” “i just gave you like 4.” “well it’s an uneven number so-“

kk and paige are always with you guys

they’ll all come to your dorm, go to your room, then go live 😭

ice is the type of person to say “do you wanna fight” every chance she gets

“no.” “do you wanna fight?” “let’s go then.” and you stand up and she starts screaming before your even do anything

takes absolutely nothing seriously

sends you tiktoks all day long

you guys make tiktoks together all the time

lazy and only does stuff if you give her things in return

“can you do the dishes?” “not unless i get something in return.” “like what?” “head.” “ice.”

posts you on her instagram story all the time

smut hcs

i don’t see her degrading you in bed, like making fun of you as a joke yea but never calling you a slut

she loves giving praises

telling you how good you’re doing and stuff like that

absolute clown

if you wear glasses and they fall off while you guys are fucking she will play around and put them on

same thing goes for lashes 😭 like if they fall off she jsut puts them on your body some where

and if you wear wigs and it comes off, guess what … she wears it

ice is definitely a switch

shower sex is 😩

she doesn’t really care for toys

you guys have a strap and vibrator but use them every once and a while

loves edging you and getting edged

def has a sex playlist

dirtiest of dirty talkers

like nobody has talked to you the way she does

takes pictures of you guys fucking and has an album in her phone full of them

fucking everywhere but the bedroom

car, bathroom, restaurant, anywhere

ice is always horny 😭 especially at night

sends dirty messages all day long

she also sends those red thoughts tiktok videos (pls tell me yk what im talking about)

she loves when you eat her out

her moans are actually angelic

thinks scissoring is too much work so she never does it 😭😭

when she uses the strap she doesn’t hold back

tells you have much she loves you as she fucks you

loves to make you squirt

==================================

i hope you enjoyed, anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋