#clerics live in conversation
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jellisdraws · 1 year ago
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Some of you are out here making Paladins that should be clerics and Clerics that should be paladins but I digress

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xinganhao · 2 months ago
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👓 svt with a 'nerd' partner.
anon → "can you do one where their partner is a big nerd?"
⌗ ┆debated for the longest time about the differences between nerd/geek/dork, so this is a bit of everything ( `ωŽ )Û¶! (p.s.: love how the hc's turned out for this one >_<)
â€§â‚ŠËšâœ©ćœĄ includes: established relationship, pet names, fluff, cussing, headcanons under the cut.
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👓 headcanons .ᐟ
you're rambling again. seungcheol watches, entranced, at the way your eyes light up as you talk about your tabletop games. the way your hands move as you explain things. when you notice him staring, you trail off. he immediately snaps out of his quiet awe to reach for your hand across the dining table. "why'd you stop?" he asks in a soft whine, jutting his lower lip out in a mock pout. "you were getting to the good part about the cleric and the rogue. don't leave me hanging, love." (or: seungcheol always pays attention.)
there's a look of mild exasperation on jeonghan's face as he watches you scroll excitedly through his latest fansign photos. you point out all the characters that are familiar to you, and you get just a little too excited when he's borderline cosplaying. he pretends to be annoyed about it, even though the truth is that he'd play dress up all day long to see you smile like this. "really," he huffs all the same, prying his phone out of your hands. "if i knew this was all it would take for you to fall in love with me
" (or: jeonghan indulges you.)
every time he travels, joshua visits a bookshop. not those chain stores, either. he goes for the obscure ones that sells secondhand, well-loved novels. the types that are a little beaten up and worn around the edges. he'll spend hours looking through the shelves for covers that he thinks are pretty, or descriptions that match the genres you always rave about. it's his little joy, to come home after all these international stops with his arms full of books. "these reminded me of you," he'll say as he holds them out to you. (or: joshua remembers you everywhere he goes.)
a bead of sweat trickles down junhui's temple as he battles with yet another stubborn screw. you've long since given up on trying to help him; he wasn't about to let you lift a finger in this endeavor. he grumbles little complaints as he assembles the overpriced IKEA shelf, but all of it is worth it when you start to stack your things on to it with that sweet smile of yours. he knows he ought to stop putting himself in to these situations. he also knows he'll assemble a hundred pieces of furniture if it meant that you could have what you want. (or: junhui enables you.)
soonyoung really couldn't give a damn about the planetarium. he'd much rather have date night at something more exciting. an amusement park. a concept restaurant. but there's just something so special about getting to walk alongside you at a leisurely pace, to have you whisper to him little fun facts about the projected stars and the styrofoam planets. he knows they're only versions of the real thing. it's just
 the way you explain them make it seem like they're just right there. he knows he can't really reach for the stars, so he settles for the next best thing. he goes to hold your hand. (or: you remind soonyoung to take it easy.)
mid-game conversations with wonwoo are punctuated mostly with quick jabs, typed out in between lulls. it's a last resort type of thing. most of the time, the two of you are playing with audio. or, better yet, in the same room as each other. there's something liberating in how he doesn't have to reel anything in when it's you, because you know how these matches go. you speak his language, essentially. and whenever he says "one more game?", he knows you're already not too far behind in rejoining the lobby. (or: wonwoo lives to be your player two.)
sometimes, you're so quiet that jihoon forgets you're there. he'll only remember when he tears his gaze away from his computer screen and his eyes land on the studio couch, where you're sprawled out doing whatever your hobby of the month is. it always makes him melt a bit. the way the two of you are just content to co-exist, happy to be in each other's orbit. when he turns back to produce, he goes at it with a renewed purpose. he's got such good inspiration, after all. (or: loving you never feels like work to jihoon.)
mingyu was never the sulky type— until he met you, that is. it's a bit embarrassing, how much of a fool you have him acting like. because what do you mean kim mingyu is jealous of 2d characters? when you return after abandoning him for the latest chapter or the newest episode, he'll consistently act all off-put even though he's sooner to crack than you are. "your anime boys don't love you like i do," he insists, trying his best not to laugh at how silly he sounds to himself. "i'm the real thing, babe." (or: mingyu is a bit of a glutton for your attention.)
it's difficult to be anything but in love with seokmin, especially when he's so sincere in everything that he does. even after he accidentally knocked over the millenium falcon lego set it took you months to build, he's so endearing in his attempts to make amends. he'll spend hours poring over the instructions booklet, and he'll sort through the seven thousand pieces until his eyes are bleary. even then, he shakes his head when you say he should go to sleep. "i like spending time with you like this," he tells you, and you know he means it. (or: seokmin wants to give you the world.)
any other person might be annoyed as the hours tick by with no response. but minghao is not anything if not patient, and he's gotten quite used to losing you to the media that consumes you. if he's being honest, a part of him is probably in love with you because of that. it doesn't matter to him if you respond minutes or days late. all he cares about is that you always come back to him; that's more than enough. (or: minghao would wait lightyears for you.)
seungkwan sometimes feels like a big chunk of his early years were given up to get to where he is now, and so he didn't really have the time to like the things that other people his age normally might. when you came around with all the things that make you happy, though, he can't help but want the same thing for himself. so maybe he is a little betrayed that you watched the newest one piece episode without him, or that you beat all the gyms in pokémon scarlet & violet while he wasn't looking. can you blame him? (or: you are the youth that seungkwan missed out on.)
prior to meeting you, vernon could count on his two hands the instances wherein he's been extremely passionate about something. nowadays, he's always getting in to one petty debate or another about the best frank ocean album or the most insufferable f.r.i.e.n.d.s character. "you bring out the worst in me," he'll joke to you one evening. both of you know that it's the complete opposite. neither of you have to say it out loud, though. all you have to do is start bickering, again, about something that would have everyone else merely scratching their heads. (or: you keep vernon on his toes.)
chan isn't stupid. he's far from it, even. you're just— so smart. unbelievably so. he's not playing dumb or goading you when he's bombarding you with questions. he's genuinely astonished by the extent of your knowledge, the easiness of which you retain all these things. it's one thing to be proud of someone, and it's another to admire them. to look up to them. he feels all that for you and so much more. (or: of all the facts in the world, the one that chan is most certain about is this— he really, really does love you.)
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thebigbiwolf · 1 year ago
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Spittle - Part 2/2 (Astarion/F!Reader)
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Summary: The chocolate seems innocent enough - if you look past the Infernal writing on the wrapper, and with so few pleasures in the wilderness, you all but jump at the chance to sneak yourself a small treat.
Unbeknownst to you, the bar is infused with succubus spittle. Just one square is rumored to contain enough potency to send a mortal into the throes of ecstasy.
This is what happens when you eat half the bar.
Fic Tags: Sex Pollen (kinda), aphrodisiacs, a bit of dom!Astarion, unprotected piv, overstimulation, he talks you through it (iykyk),
Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Language, No use of Y/N, magical influence
Read Part 1: Here
Read on AO3: Here
Word Count: 4k
A/N: Wow. I'll try to make this brief. First of all, I just want to say thank you all so much for your continued support. I know this took me forever to write, but I've been going through a lot of emotional turmoil with school and some health issues with my animals. Your patience means so much to me, and I can only hope this lives up to everyone's expectations! This is my first time writing smut, and ngl I feel a bit like Icarus, so let me know if y'all liked it. Last, but not least, thanks again to my bestie/beta @imaginarydromedary for holding my hand through the shame.
Astarion sits quietly beside the fire, absently picking the dirt from beneath his manicured nails. The night had unfolded like countless others before it: boring, mundane. Uneventful.
Perhaps he should retire early. The Realm According to Bumpo sits patiently atop the desk in his tent, and if he heads to bed now, he could potentially finish a chapter before his watch begins.
He stands, patting the dust off his trousers, just as Shadowheart emerges from your tent. He initially doesn’t pay her any mind - fails to notice the concern etched across her face. 
“Astarion.” 
He snaps to attention, recognizing the fear in her voice.
Astarion’s stomach sinks when their eyes meet. Shadowheart isn’t normally one to succumb to panic, but she looks as though she’s just stumbled out of a wolf’s den.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. She - I’ve never seen
” Shadowheart pauses, taking a steadying breath. “She’s feverish. She was fine only hours ago. I heard a cry from her tent and feared something was amiss. When I found her, she
” The cleric hesitates, eyes contemplative - as if weighing exactly how much she wants to reveal. 
“Out with it, damn it!”
“Is there any chance she’s been poisoned? You two stayed behind, back in the village. Did she come into contact with anything that might have pierced her skin?”
“Poisoned? No, she -” Astarion retraces the events, turning over your brief conversations in his head before landing on the only noteworthy detail he can think of.
He taps a finger on his chin, a thoughtful smile creasing his face. “Unless, of course, the Infernal chocolates didn’t agree with her.”
“I’m sorry, the what?” 
“The chocolate she found at the apothecary. I assumed she hid it away so she could enjoy her little treat, unbothered. There was Infernal text on the wrapper.”
She stares at him with wide eyes, jaw slack with disbelief. “And you didn’t think to mention this earlier?”
Astarion shrugs, unfazed.
“Where’s Wyll?”
He rolls his eyes. “How should I know? I’m not his keeper.”
“Astarion!” 
“Oh, come on. That chocolate must have been at least a decade old. Are you certain this isn’t just some sort of stomach bug?”
The cleric shoves past him, groaning in exasperation. She shoots him a glare and mutters, “I’m certain,” before jogging in the direction of Wyll’s tent. 
“Infused with succubus spittle. Just one bite will have you and that special someone rolling around for hours. Consume responsibly." 
Astarion giggles boyishly. “An aphrodisiac? How fun.”
Wyll squints as he silently reads the next bit to himself, fingers tracing the text. He turns to Shadowheart, jaw tightening, "How much of this did you say she ingested?"
"I only found half the bar."
Wyll’s expression grows more serious. "This says the recommended serving size is one square
 How many squares were left?"
“Oh, gods
” she breathes, "Six."
The three exchange silent, worried glances.
“Could she die from this?” Shadowheart asks, her voice trembling with uncertainty.
Wyll’s lips press into a thin line. In truth, he doesn’t know the answer. He could ask Mizora for guidance, but the devil’s been awfully silent after his recent failures. He isn’t sure she'd be willing to answer him, let alone grant any favors. Still, it may be worth a call.
Just as Wyll’s about to suggest it, Astarion heaves a deep, dramatic sigh, throwing his hands up in defeat.
“Alright, I know what we’re all thinking. I’ll take care of this.”
The other two regard each other, thoroughly confused.
“Look," Astarion explains, I may not be well-versed in magic, or magical remedies, for that matter, but now that we know what’s causing this
 I think it’s obvious what needs to be done.”
“You’re joking.” Shadowheart laughs, incredulously.  
“No,” he continues, “We can’t just sit here and hope for the best. We need to act quickly, and let's just say, this fits into my... skill set.”
“So, you’re going to, what? Have sex with her? You think she’ll be capable of saying anything but yes, given the state she’s in?”
Astarion shoots her a glare. The mere thought that he’d ever so much as suggest doing something like that - bedding you when you’re too weak to reject him - the very idea of it makes him sick. 
He isn’t that evil. 
“Watch your tongue,” he spits at her, “before I do us all the favor of removing it.”
“Hang on, you two,” Wyll interjects, “Astarion, I think you might have a point. You would know better than anyone whether she’s in a right enough state of mind to
 consent to this. You’re closest to her. She trusts you.” 
He turns to Shadowheart, “It’s worth a try.”
Astarion notices two things as he pulls back the flap of your tent.
The first is that it is unseasonably warm. Scorching hot, like summer. A stark contrast from the welcoming cool of the early spring night behind him. 
And second, that the air in the tent is heavy - heady with the scent of sweat and something else he can’t quite identify. It's clouding his senses, making his head swim. The taste of it settles on his tongue, like salt on the rim of an otherwise very sweet drink.
The moonlight at his back casts a dark shadow over your sleeping form. Astarion hesitates for a moment, taking in the sight of you, vulnerable and oblivious to his presence, feeling too much like a wolf looming over a snared rabbit.
You twitch, grimacing in pain. 
He frowns. This wasn’t the way he wanted to go about seducing you. His plan was much more sophisticated: a carafe of wine, a few honeyed words leading to a night of passion, your endless thanks, all culminating in some well-earned release and his assured protection.
A mutual exchange.
But, this?
He’s roused from his thoughts by another grunt, escaping from between your clenched teeth.
Whatever you’re going through, it looks like hell.
Ugh. You know what? Fine. Maybe this isn’t the way he envisioned it, but when has life ever blessed him with a perfect scenario? He’ll offer his
 services, and respect whatever answer you give him. If you refuse him now, he can always try again later. Under less perilous circumstances, provided you survive the night.
And if not, well, he's never been one to play the hero, but at least he tried. 
He steps further inside, closing the entrance behind him. The moment he seals the tent shut, there is a palpable shift. The space feels infinitely heavier, laden with unnatural energy, reminiscent of anticipation, but just slightly
 off.
He breathes, trying to focus on anything but that intoxicating scent. The haze of it is maddening.
The elf sits on his knees beside you, hands resting in his lap. 
He clears his throat, hoping the sound would be enough to wake you.
There’s no response. 
He whispers your name.
Nothing.
No choice, then.
He drums a finger against your bare arm.
The cleric was right. Your skin is so hot, it borders on scalding.
Finally, you begin to stir.
-
Again. It happened again. 
As soon as you closed your eyes to rest, you saw him - That thing that wore his skin. You felt his hands and mouth as he ravaged you until you fell apart beneath him, above him, wrapped around him, like he was everywhere all at once. 
He was demanding as he took pleasure from you. Ravenous. Mocking your cries, your begging.
The hours stretched into what felt like lifetimes, and you’d nearly given up hope, resigning yourself to the idea that this was your new, endless reality. 
Until suddenly, you hear a voice that pulls you from the dark recesses of your subconscious-- the very voice being used to torture you
Your name, uttered quietly by Astarion. Just Astarion. No second, more sinister layer beneath it.
Your eyelids flutter, then widen as a chilling realization washes over you. 
He’s touching you. The pads of his fingers are both a balm and an irritant, soothing and igniting the flames licking at the corners of your mind.
“You look like you’ve seen better days.” He teases. 
You recoil from his touch, sitting upwards and crawling back away from him. 
He can’t be here. He, of all people, can’t be here.
And yet, something within you is screeching in delight.
'That’s him, isn’t it? The object of your desires? How fun!’
You swallow. Hard. 
“Astarion, I -” 
He holds up a hand, silencing you. “I’m aware.”
“Shadowheart informed us of your
 predicament,” he continues, “I can’t help but feel partly responsible, seeing as I was there when you found the chocolate -”
“The chocolate? Is that - wait, what?” 
Shit. Your head is pounding. 
You press your palms against your eyes and groan. 
“I’ll spare you the details, but that chocolate was laced with succubus spittle - a highly potent aphrodisiac - and you, my dear, have consumed enough to bring an entire brothel to its knees.”
Your eyes snap open, meeting his own. There isn’t an ounce of humor in his tone. No sign of his usual mischief.
Gods, he’s being fucking serious.
“Now, as amusing as this might be if it were anyone else, I’d prefer it if our party’s leader made it out of this alive, and that leaves us with a choice."
You gaze at him silently, waiting as the candlelight paints his sharp features in warm hues of amber and honey. 
'He’s quite handsome. I see why you like him.’
“You can ride this out alone,” Astarion explains, “Shadowheart will return with her best salves and more potions for the fever. We’ll hope this passes quickly, but Wyll’s translation suggests the amount you consumed could leave you in this state for up to a week.”
Your stomach churns. You’re going to be sick.
“And the alternative?” you manage to ask.
His hand finds yours, fingers intertwining with your own. Your skin prickles at the contact.
“The alternative is that you let me help you through this. Consider it a repayment, of sorts, for gifting me your blood. I’m somewhat of an expert on
 well,” he lets out a humorless laugh, “let’s just say, I’m the best chance you’ve got.”
Maybe it's the blood roaring in your ears, or maybe you’re still dreaming, but it sounds like Astarion is offering to
 fuck you?
“I’m sorry, what?”
He groans, visibly frustrated. “Sex, my dear. If the magic is compelling you to have it, I think we should listen.”
‘Handsome and smart.’ 
You hiss, “Would you please shut up?”
Astarion squints. “What was that?”
“Nothing, sorry.” You clear your throat. “Listen, I - I get what you’re trying to do. I appreciate it, really, but -” 
Pain lances through your abdomen, a sharp, icy shard that interrupts your words. You clutch at your side, releasing Astarion’s hand before falling helplessly on your back, twisting in agony.
He inches closer, voice tinged with urgency. “We’re running out of time. If you want my help, it's best to ask now, because as much as I love the idea of you begging for me to bed you, I won’t be comfortable doing this unless you agree to this while you’ve still got your wits about you.” 
Tears sting the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision at the edges. He’s right. You don’t think you can endure this alone, and as much as you fucking hate to admit it, the damned succubus magic - that thing - is right.  
You do desire him. You’ve wanted him since the moment you met beside the nautiloid. Now here he is, offering to alleviate your suffering.  
There’s just one part of his offer that you can’t quite come to terms with.
“I didn’t let you drink from me because I was hoping you’d repay me.” Your voice warbles, wet and stressed, “I can’t have sex with you if it’ll just be part of some ridiculous transaction. Not with anyone, and certainly not with you.” 
His expression softens as your words sink in. It’s a confession, of sorts. The kind he’s wholly unfamiliar with. It stuns him almost to the point of speechlessness.  
“My apologies. Believe me, it was more of an excuse than anything. I didn’t mean to suggest
” He lets his words trail off, shaking his head. You two can revisit this conversation later, when time isn’t of the essence. “It doesn’t matter. I want to do this. Let me help you.” 
The sincerity in his voice sends a shiver up your spine.
It’s clear he means this.
He means every word. 
You nod. “Okay.”
Astarion clears his throat, rolling the tension off his shoulders. 
“Good. Now that we’ve got that taken care of,” he says as he throws one of his legs over your waist, straddling you, “Why don’t you lie back and let me take care of this, hm?” 
His posture is relaxed. Confident. He regards you with hooded eyes and the faintest hint of a smirk. It’s quite the sight, one you’d enjoy significantly more if your body wasn’t busy screaming for his attention. 
His deft hands make quick work of the laces of your shirt, and with every string that loosens, your composure unravels further. You squirm, unable to resist the heat that teases your skin and the growing itch beneath it. 
As if Astarion can sense your rising panic, he places a cool palm against your burning cheek, his touch both gentle and practiced as he rubs smooth circles at the dip of your temple. 
“Relax, dear,” he whispers, both a request and a command. The gentle lilt in his voice masks the underlying authority, but your body obeys all the same, tension releasing from your muscles. “I’ve got you.”
Astarion quickly rids you of the offending fabric, chest and stomach now bared to him. His eyes scan over your form with focused intensity, lips pinched between his teeth, like an artist deciding what to make of their blank canvas.
“Normally, I’d take my time with this,” he admits, “but given the circumstances
” He swiftly undoes the buttons of your trousers before yanking them off along with your smallclothes. One single, fluid motion. 
He can’t hide the mild shock that follows when he sees the state of you - dripping wet, red and pulsing with need. 
He dips the tip of his finger between your folds. It glides over velvet skin, coating the digit in warm, wet slick. A strangled, pitiful noise escapes from your throat.
For a moment, Astarion’s calculated expression falters, surprised by the rate at which your body opens itself up to him. A glint of hunger lurks beneath the surface.
“This may be easier than I thought.” He says with a smirk, more to himself than to you. 
He presses two digits in, slow and intentional. There’s no resistance; A knife through warm butter. You’re dripping down his knuckles, gripping around him like a vice. He slides all the way in until the heel of his palm meets your clit. 
“Breathe.” 
Not even realizing you’d been holding your breath, you release it with a shutter.
“Very good.” He punctuates his words with the slow drag of his fingers. Long, languid movements. He’s taking his sweet time with you, pulling scandalous little cries from your lips. It’s like he’s toying with you - seeing how long you can hold out before breaking. 
It doesn’t take much time at all.
“Astarion -”
“Yes?”
“Please.”
“Please, what? What do you need, darling?” His eyes are fixed on your own, grin tugging at the edge of his mouth. A cat playing with a cornered mouse.
“More. Anything.” 
He hums in approval, then wets the pad of his thumb on his tongue before drawing circles exactly where you need. Heat coils at the base of your spine, forming a ball of tension that threatens to snap. 
The sheer intensity of it is enough to scare you, caught between the urge to chase the sensation or flee from it. “Astarion, I -” 
He ignores your warning as if he hadn’t heard it, plunging his fingers into your heat and curling them - expertly caressing a spot that threatens to shatter you. Your hands fly out, gripping the fabric of his shirt, the sheets beneath you, anything in a desperate attempt to ground yourself.
“Go on, love. Let it out. I’ve got you.” 
Your body seizes as your orgasm tears through you, igniting every one of your oversensitive nerves. Back arching off the bedroll, several strangled sounds - almost pained - rip from your throat. The pleasure threatens to tear you apart, but the thick fog of lust occupying your mind begins to subside, offering the slightest bit of clarity as you twitch beneath him. 
Astarion grabs you by the jaw, tilting your head this way and that, admiring his handiwork. He's quite pleased with himself, with the mess he's made of you - jaw slack and brows pinched. He coaxes out the aftershocks, watching you squeeze around his fingers.
"There,” he gives you a playful pat on the cheek, "You're looking better already." 
"You're - agh - enjoying this too much."
"I never said I wasn't going to enjoy it." 
A beat of silence passes between the two of you as he allows you to catch your breath. For a moment, you think the coast is clear - that maybe, this was as far as things had to go. This was what the magic was compelling you to do, or at the very least - it was close enough. You fulfilled its wishes. Surely.
But then he pulls out of you, and the second you feel the vacuum of emptiness where his fingers once were, that voice in your head is screeching like some sort of petulant child. It pouts, waggling its non-existent finger in your direction. The demanding bitch. 
Part of you, instinctually, realizes that this is just the beginning - that you’re simply at the edge of the shore watching the tides recede while a devastating wave builds somewhere in the distance. 
“What is it? Does it still hurt?” Astarion asks, breaking the silence, and you realize that no, it doesn’t. Not like before, at least. 
You shake your head.
“Good. I’d wager that means this is working.” He smiles triumphantly, working the laces of his own clothes, and ridding himself of the final layers between you, revealing an intricate network of muscle beneath. For a man who’d supposedly been starved for the last two centuries, he certainly doesn’t look the part.
Astarion nudges your legs apart with his thigh, then settles between your knees, dragging the head of his cock between your folds. He hums in approval, admiring the sight as he coats himself in your slick. It practically drools out of you.
There’s no resistance when he dips himself into your entrance. 
His eyes scan over your face, searching for any discomfort, but all he finds is need. 
So, he presses in further. 
“Shit, you -” 
He hisses, sucking in a sharp breath as he bottoms out, then takes a moment, eyes pinched shut, collecting himself. 
He slides out, just an inch or so, before plunging back in, buried as deeply as he can reach. It’s so damn easy, the sinfully wet mess you’ve left all over his cock allowing him to glide in and out, tilting his hips with each thrust.
The stretch of him is perfect, like you were made for this - made to take him. His length rubbing and dragging against your walls acts like a balm, relaxing your body as you swallow and grip him in scorching heat. 
He grabs one of your thighs, pressing it into your chest - the new angle allowing him to sink even deeper into your core.
It isn’t long before you’re begging him for more, digging your heels into the curve of his back.
Astarion starts pounding into you - a new, brutal pace spurred on by your encouragement and the wet, filthy slap of his skin against yours. The sounds reverberate off the canvas of your tent, blending with your choked sobs. You just know your companions are going to have something to say about this in the morning, but you honestly can’t bring yourself to care. 
The only thing that matters now is the man above you - his nails digging into the flesh of your ass, whispering how good you feel. How well you’re taking him, “Like you were made for this - for me.” His grunts are like music to your ears, drowning out all other thoughts as his chest vibrates against your own.
It’s all too much. 
Your orgasm sneaks up on you before you have a chance to warn him, but he feels the way you flutter around his cock and acts on instinct - snaking his fingers between your bodies and rubbing your clit in quick circles. 
You throw your head back with a cry, shaking beneath him, and grip him like a vice as you come. The force of it slams into you, hot and devastating, tightening every muscle within its wake. You wind your limbs tightly around the hard planes of Astarion’s body as he rolls his hips into you, slow and deep. 
You can feel him twitching inside you, his rhythm suddenly stuttering with each thrust. Something tells you he’d come now, if you’d allow him.
But where?
'Where else?'
The very idea of him not spilling every drop he has inside of you disturbs you nearly to the point of panic, and with that, you finally understand what this damned succubus has been demanding of you this entire time.
“Astarion, please. I need you.” 
“Where?” he asks, voice muffled, panting hot and open-mouthed against the swell of your shoulder.
“Inside,” you beg, “Please. Please -  It’s alright.” 
He shudders, surging up into you one last time with a strangled grunt. Holding onto your hips, he pulses within you, the warmth of his release filling you to the brim, until a thick white ring of come forms at the base of his length. You can’t help but clench around him, moving to match his previous pace and trying desperately to wring as much out of him as you can, until it begins to seep out onto the sheets beneath you.
It isn’t until he stills inside of you that you release your hold on him. The two of you take a minute to collect yourselves, waiting for your heart to settle and listening to Astarion’s ragged breaths. 
He lifts his weight off of you with a grunt, settling back on his knees. 
“That was - agh,” he shivers as he pulls out of you. You don’t even want to look at the mess.
“I’m going to have to burn these sheets, aren’t I?” you ask, sitting up on your shoulders.
He throws his head back with a genuine, hearty laugh, and cards his fingers through his dampened hair. 
This is the most relaxed you think you’ve ever seen him - not a scowl line in sight. He rolls his shoulders, and sighs at the subsequent pop before turning his focus back on you.
“I’ll have you know,” Astarion muses, “I’ve done this more times than I can count— but this, my dear,” he chuckles, “This was one for the books.”
“So, was sleeping with me everything you could have possibly imagined?” It’s an obvious joke, given your tone. An offer to squash any chance of this happening again, should he wish to. An exit. 
He hums playfully. “Well, next time I think I’d prefer the subtle influence of wine over a mind-altering aphrodisiac, if it's all the same to you.”
There’s a beat of silence. 
Did he just offer to do this again? Well, not exactly, but -
“And how are you feeling?” Astarion asks. 
Better, is the honest answer. Slightly confused and deeply embarrassed, but better. 
The apologies you’ll have to make after the night’s over seem endless, both to him and to Shadowheart for all the trouble you caused. Not to mention the others, who’ve probably had the sound of your squealing burned into their memories forever. The idea of it is daunting.
“Because if you’re still reeling from any nasty, lingering effects,” he continues, “I’m sure I could be
 persuaded to help again.”
Oh.
Hm.
“Well, now that you mention it
”
-
Tag List (sorry if I missed anyone! I only added you if you explicitly asked to be tagged): @daedriclys @captain039 @sushiumex @sugasweettea @marauders-moon @starlightelegy @ablxssm @the-lake-is-calling
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dilemmaontwolegs · 7 months ago
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Not A Verstappen: Away We Go {3}
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: It’s winter break and silly season 2024/25 which means drama (and officially the end of the series). Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, angst, fluff WC: 4.1k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry || One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine NAV: A New World || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten NAV: Lights Out || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || 6.5 || Seven || SMAU || Eight || Nine NAV: Away We Go || One || Two || Three
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With the final three races of the season a triple header you hadn’t been home in weeks. You had missed your own space and knowing where everything was unlike the hotel rooms you had spent almost a month living out of. What you hadn’t missed was the pile of mail to sort out. Three stacks were neatly comprised on the kitchen table: one each for Lando, Charles and you. A quick skim through them found most were the usual culprits - bills, fan mail and junk - but two stood out. 
A thick brown envelope had a return address for Oxfordshire, England and you tore it open with a squeal. “I got it!”
Your shouts had Lando and Charles dropping the suitcases in the bedroom and even Autumn looked up from where she was playing with her toys in the living room. “Guess who’s back on the grid, baby!”
Your feet were lifted off the floor as you were bear hugged from the front and back, kisses peppering your cheeks that ached from the wide smile. 
“Congratulations, love.”
“Knew you would do it, amour.”
You couldn’t keep still as you reread the welcome letter and the others picked through their mail. 
“Huh,” Lando huffed as he opened an envelope similar to one you also received. “That’s weird.”
“It’s not another pair of panties, is it?” you asked, the item making an unfortunately common appearance in their mail.
“No, it’s from the Vegas Chapel.”
You tore open your envelope too and skimmed over the letter that confirmed the marriage to Lando had been successfully submitted to the State of Nevada, and accepted. “Wait, that’s not right. Who submitted it?”
Charles rushed through his pile searching for the same envelope but there was nothing for him. His brows furrowed and he grabbed the two letters, holding them side by side to see for himself. “What about me?”
A lump formed in your throat and you curled your arms around him. “We’ll figure it out, baby, it’s got to be a mistake.”
It wasn’t a mistake. 
Well, it wasn’t a clerical mistake but the human kind, where the minister's assistant had missed the conversation about the marriage not being legal. She had submitted the paperwork with the rest of the chapel weddings and since yours and Lando’s document was on top it was processed first. The other two were rejected.
You were legally married to Lando, for better or for worse.
–
“We should get ready,” you murmured, not really feeling in the partying mood but Max had returned from the FIA awards and wanted to celebrate his championship win. 
In the week since getting the letter, things hadn’t been the same. Charles was withdrawn, Lando was full of remorse, and you were left trying to figure out a way to reunite your family. Even Autumn was picking up on the tension in the house and was fussier than usual. 
“You can tell Max I am sick,” Charles muttered from the couch he sank into, clutching a cushion to his chest so he could rest his chin on it. 
“You’re not sick.”
“I feel sick.”
“We all feel sick,” Lando added before curling a finger your way and you followed him down the hall to the office. He had spent most of the day locked in the room, talking with lawyers about the best option. It was too late to annul the marriage, he found, and neither of you really wanted to go through the paperwork for a divorce - but if it saved the relationship with Charles then that is what you would do. 
“Steph can draw up the documents,” he said after closing the door and dropping into his computer chair. “We just need to go through our assets and figure out whose is whose.”
“Even though we aren’t actually breaking up?”
“Yeah.” The one word held so much defeat and Lando scratched at his head before tugging the curly strands. “I fucked up, love, I should have just kept my mouth shut and none of this would have happened.” 
You followed his eyes to the picture frames that were still stacked in the corner of his desk. It would have been rubbing salt in the wound for Charles if they had been hung as planned in the bedroom. Taking a seat on Lando’s lap, you brushed his hair back into place and kissed the frown away from his forehead. 
“What if there is a way to show Charles that he is as much a part of this family, without a divorce?” The marriage so far had been kept quiet but a divorce would become public, something you would rather avoid given your seat signing hadn’t yet been announced. 
Lando perked up with hope and you took a deep breath. “How do you feel about changing your name?”
–
Winter break hadn’t got off to the best start but you were trying to remedy that with the two documents laid out on the kitchen table. 
“Charles, can you come here please?” 
Lando fidgeted with his necklace as footsteps padded down the hall. Charles had locked himself away in the gym and his grey shirt was damp with sweat as he looked between the two of you waiting for him.
“Family meeting, sit,” you ordered. You had taken Autumn over to Max’s so there would be no interruptions and she had enough bottles of milk to last the day if needed. “Christmas is coming and I am not having anything ruin this for Autumn’s sake.”
With less than a week to go, the house had nothing to show. There were no decorations hung and the Christmas tree was still in a box in the storage closet. You couldn’t even bear to think about going to the ski resort with everyone and having to put on a brave face. 
“We are going to fix this today,” Lando said with a serious tone.
Charles scoffed, clearly not believing him, but he dropped into the seat at the head of the table and looked down at the papers and pens. “What’s this then?”
“Your choice.” You pointed to the left, and a much thicker stack. “This one is for a divorce. Everything would hopefully go back to the way it was before, but since it will need to be filed in the US it will be publicly accessible. Nothing we can’t handle with a PR team statement, if that’s what you want.”
Charles fingers the pages but didn’t try to read them before turning his attention to the smaller document. “What’s this?”
“A promise,” Lando said, taking Charles hand and trying not to cry when it went limp in his. “You’re my husband, no matter what a stupid piece of paper says, and we are a family. I know how you are feeling, I remember when you two accidentally went public and I thought I was being left behind. But you didn’t, and I won’t ever either. I belong to you.”
“Me too,” you said, taking his other hand. “And we want to show that we are in this together until the very end by changing our last names to Leclerc, if you’ll have us?”
The question hung suspended in the apartment and the only sound came from the clock hanging in the kitchen. The seconds ticked by as Charles quietly contemplated the options in front of him. What he wanted wasn’t a possibility, no matter how hard he wished it was, but he knew he couldn’t continue the way he had been, keeping you both at an arm's length. He could see the bags under your eyes from the restless nights and hated the toll this had taken on everyone. 
Charles tried to remember those three short weeks of bliss, the intimate secret that only the three of you knew about, and he sighed as he realised he hadn’t kept his promise. Rising from the table he grabbed the thick stack of papers and walked away, the office door closing behind him.
“Well, shit,” Lando muttered. “I always imagined being married longer than Kim Kardashian.”
“I know, but it’s his choice and we have to respect that,” you agreed, hanging your head in your hands. “I suppose I should ring James and give him the heads up.”
You couldn’t muster up the energy to make the call though, you just sat there in silence with Lando. Twice he opened his mouth to say something but the words fell short and the minutes continued to abandon the day as if they wanted it to be over just as quickly.
Strange whirring sounds came from the office and Charles dipped across the hall to the storage closet, then into the bedroom before hard banging echoed through the house. Each bang sent a jolt down your spine and your eyes began to burn at the thought of Charles being so angry he had to break things. You looked and Lando and he looked at you, a little shake of head saying, ‘Leave him be’.
Finally, it all went silent and Charles sauntered his way back into the room and dumped an armful of paper shavings into the table along with a hammer. The mountain of shredded paper spread across the wood and some fell into your lap, the barely-legible name of the attorney spelled out on each strip.
“That was a stupid idea,” Charles muttered as he fell back into his chair and scrambled through the rubbish to find the application forms for official name changes. “You’re not getting a fucking divorce.”
“Uh, okay
” Lando said with a frown, his eyes darting to the hammer and then to the hall. “Should I ask what’s broken or are we just ignoring that?”
“I didn’t break anything,” Charles said, clicking the pens and holding one out to you and Lando. “I hung our marriage certificates up where they were meant to be. Now, are you serious about this?”
“Wouldn’t have offered otherwise,” you said as you took the pen. “Are you?”
“You’re mine, and the whole world is going to know it.”
–
Christmas Eve 2024
The long table was in a state of chaos as parents tried to wrangle the older children and the grandparents watched on with amusement, remembering the days when that was them. You shared a smile with your husbands and knew that next year you would be a part of that chaos but for now you were happy to watch on while Autumn played with a plastic spoon in her high chair.
It had become a tradition to open one present before the meal and a small box sat beside the glass of wine you were indulging in, a group present for the three of you. A larger box was just out of Autumn’s reach and Penelope’s was tempting the young girl with a Christmas cracker balanced on top.
“Who wants to go first?” Adam asked, a chorus of ‘me’s’ ringing out from all the kids old enough to understand.
You leaned in to whisper to Charles and Lando, slyly glancing along the line of adults. “$500 says Kelly’s pregnant.”
Lando looked at Max and Kelly who were busy chatting to Daniil and his eyes widened. “Holy shit, you might be right.”
Charles was just confused. “What is going on?”
You watched Kelly take another sip of her drink before Max refilled it, with water. “See, that is not a gin and tonic.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Charles laughed, shaking his head.
“And they invited Daniil.”
“Exactly, that would be more awkward, no?”
You huffed at fault in the logic until you snapped your fingers excitedly. “Except they want P here for the announcement and it was his year to have her for Christmas. Jesus, I am in the wrong line of work, I should be Sherlock.”
Charles picked up your glass and sniffed the wine. “I think it is you who needs water, amour.”
“Does that mean you are up for the bet?”
“I don’t need the money, but I will enjoy taking it from you,” he teased.
Adam quickly gave up trying to have any organisation and let the kids tear into their presents. Luka and Lio were the first to get through the wrapping paper and immediately wanted to play with the racecars. Mila squealed at the unicorn helmet she got to match the bike she had asked Santa for while Athena hadn’t even attempted to open hers as she was distracted by the cheese and cracker board. It was Penelope who sat in silence as she stared at the shirt she unwrapped.
“What is it, sweetheart?” Kelly asked with a knowing grin and you slapped Charles’ leg under the table.
P held up the shirt and started to bounce in her seat, a wide smile splitting her face. “I’m going to be a big sister!”
“I can also take the $500 in the form of sexual favours,” you whispered.
“Happily, but later,” he said before standing up and congratulating Max and Kelly.
“I’m surprised she could keep the secret,” Max said to Charles, his head nodding in your direction as you sank lower into the seat.
“Hmm, is that right?”
“She kind of figured it out a few days ago when she caught Kelly spooning marmite out of the jar with celery sticks. Cravings, mate, they are a strange fucking surprise.”
Charles laughed in agreement and clapped Max on the shoulder. “Speaking of surprises, we have one of our own too. Don’t worry, it’s not another baby this time.” He returned to his seat beside you and waited a few minutes for everyone to congratulate the two. Finally when the room calmed a bit he picked up his glass and tapped it with a spoon to get the adults attention. 
“I just wanted to thank everyone for being here and spending another Christmas with us,” Charles began, his finger tracing the lip of his glass he still held. “Every year the table keeps growing larger and, Max, you finally get to be the reason for an extra chair next year, so big thumbs up for taking that responsibility. My wife thanks you,” he chuckled along with Lando before reaching for the small box on the table, opening it to reveal the wedding bands you had chosen.
“You know, three years ago I would have never imagined being this happy without winning a championship, but I have learned that even if I do get to raise that trophy myself one day it is more important having loved ones to share the experience with.” Charles took the first of two identical rings. Your husband’s rings were relatively simple but it was all they needed - like the necklaces they wore, it was made of three bands woven together. “I can’t wait to experience it all with you,” he said as he slipped the ring on Lando’s finger before picking up yours. Similar to theirs, yours was woven with three bands but yours had a dazzling emerald and sapphire inset to represent them. “Every moment, good and bad, as long as it’s with you.”
You reached for his ring, the last one in the box and placed it on his finger with a smile.
“You’re meant to ask the question first, then give them the rings,” Lorenzo teased as Pascale nudged him to shush.
“That would be a proposal,” Lando laughed, curling an arm around Charles' waist and pulling you in too. “We are actually celebrating what comes next.”
“Wait, what?” Max gaped. “Marriage? You guys are married?”
“So, not quite, it’s, uh, actually a funny story,” you said with a grin. Now that everything had smoothed over you could finally laugh about the situation and the rest of the table found it equally amusing once they forgave you for not telling them. “I should probably update the FIA with my new name. How confusing is it going to be for Crofty to have three Leclerc’s on the grid?”
“Two,” Max corrected, but you just winked. His eyes widened and he stood up, walking around the table to grab your shoulders. “You got a seat?” You nodded and he squeezed the air out of your lungs with a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, zusje.”
“Season hasn’t even started,” you reminded him. “There’s still a lot of work to be done but the testing looks promising for next year.”
“I know you’ll do great. It’ll be nice to have a little competition again,” he teased Lando and Charles, despite the final results being closer than they had been for a few years.
“The only competition we have to worry about is out on the slopes. I’m not pregnant this year so I will be out there at dawn ready to kick your ass, Verstappen.”
Max smirked at the challenge and raised his glass to tap yours. “You’re on, Leclerc.”
–
Epilogue
The same faces welcomed you back to the grid but the colours they wore had changed. Lewis was at Ferrari and Carlos was at Red Bull, but the most surprising change was Alex who had gone to Mercedes. Albon was meant to be your teammate but he had chosen not to renew his contract and rather than bring in a rookie to start from scratch they renewed Logan for his third year.
The American driver stared at the roof for the team meeting before the first race of the season and you tapped his cap. “You don’t need to worry,” you chuckled. “It’s just a boob.”
The man was born and bred a polite southern boy and still couldn’t bring himself to even look in your direction while you pumped the excess milk out. After finding out the hard way during testing, you knew you had to get at least a bottle out or there would be leaking in your racesuit before you passed the chequered flag. Starting in P6 there were high hopes that you would score some good points and you didn’t want to go to the media pit with two wet patches on your chest.
“I’m not worried, just giving you some privacy,” he said quietly.
“You’re good at that,” you said as you swapped the pump to the other breast. “I don’t think I properly thanked you for not telling anyone I was pregnant.”
He frowned and almost looked your way before turning his attention to the computer screen of data. “It wasn’t my place to say.”
“That doesn’t stop some people, so thank you.”
“No problem.”
“We are having dinner after the race, you’re welcome to join us if you want.”
“Isn’t it your family?”
The flow into the bottle had slowed to a drop so you turned the machine off and packed it away with the bottle, covering your chest back up at the same time. “We can have eye contact now,” you teased. “It’s a long way here, most of our family couldn’t make it so it’s really just a bunch of orphans congregating in our suite. You can bring your girlfriend too, or boyfriend - we don’t judge.”
“Definitely girlfriend,” he admitted before shyly scuffing his shoes on the concrete floor. “How did you know?”
“You’re very private, I figured you’re either in a quiet relationship or a serial killer. I’m really happy it wasn’t the latter.”
Logan loosened up with a laugh and began to relax as he joked, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
The rest of the briefing went quickly and strategies were made for the current weather readings. The mildly warm temperatures at the tail end of an Australian summer were promising from the data and you knew it would come down managing tyre degradation with all the right hand turns. Albert Park was a fun circuit but as Alex learned last season, one mistake and the race could be over in an instant.
“I’m just going to check on Autumn,” you said to James as you walked out of the garage after the driver parade.
The team principal checked his watch and gave a nod. “15 minutes.”
You knew those minutes would fly by so you jogged down the pit lane to Mercedes where Susie was watching over your daughter, when she could get her away from Toto. But it appeared you were the last one to arrive as Lando and Charles took turns having some last minute cuddles.
“I hope you have one left for me, my love,” you cooed as you stole her from Charles. “Mwah, mummy loves you.”
You handed her back and swung the bag off your shoulder. “There’s plenty of milk in here if she runs out, and some yoghurt too.
“Relax, mama, we will be fine,” Susie assured you. “Focus on the race.”
As if to remind you, the bell for the grid opening rang out and you knew it was time to head back. “Okay, focus,” you told yourself before kissing Autumn’s cheek again and inhaling her baby scent. “Love you.”
Lando tugged at your sleeve and you reluctantly let him pull you away or you wouldn’t have had the strength to. “Come on, love, time to go.”
“I know, it’s just
hard.”
“Always is,” Charles admitted, kissing your temple. “See you out there, Spitfire.”
—
Testing was nothing compared to the strain the race put on your body, but it was like riding a bicycle, once you got into the groove you couldn’t even feel it. Your sole focus was on the car ahead and the carbon fibre rear wing that belonged to Lando. Though the Williams didn’t have the down force to compete with a McLaren or Ferrari in the corners, it somehow had great straight line speed. That straight line speed mixed with a classic Ferrari strategy and a slow pit stop by Mercedes had you defending the third position you suddenly found yourself in. It would have been a different story if Carlos hadn’t’ve had a turn one incident with Lewis, but you would take all the luck you could get.
“Wow, what a welcome back,” Naomi cheered as you stepped onto the interview mat and you looked back at your car parked in the third spot.
“It doesn’t even feel like I left,” you admitted with a laugh.
Lando had already done his interview and stepped over to the barriers where Susie’s silver Mercedes uniform stood out in a sea of dark blue Williams mechanics, Autumn squirming to be put down when she spotted her daddy.
Naomi followed your eyes to your husband and she smiled. “But there have been a few changes since we were last standing here.”
“Some things never change though.” You jutted a thumb at your brother who was busy kissing Kelly and P who cheered with the rest of Red Bull for his win. “I was kind of hoping for a repeat of last year since Charles was right on my ass - I mean tail.”
“Three Leclerc’s on the podium would surely have been a historical moment and I apologise to our viewers for that little whoopsie.”
Not wanting to risk another swear word on live tv, the interview ended and you raced over to Lando and Autumn, enveloping them both in a hug. “Wish Charles was here,” you murmured to his chest.
“Me too,” he said, kissing your sweaty forehead. “Ready to go pop some champagne, baby?”
“Also-fucking-lutely.” You kissed Autumn and thanked Susie for watching her as you made your way to the cooldown room. “Remind me to pump and dump later because I am chugging that bottle.”
“You deserve it,” Max said as he entered the room and took Lando’s seat since he had stolen the middle one. “I had to double check you parked in the right spot.”
“Lando’s the one who does that,” you pointed out. “But honestly, it was like the stars aligned, I don’t know how it happened. I mean, testing was good, but everything just fell perfectly into place.”
Lando smiled proudly and took your hand, resting on his thigh while you watched the highlights on the tv.
As the Dutch anthem played you watched the crowd below the stage, your keen eyes finding Autumn on Toto’s shoulders where he stood with your principal and you were certain you saw him wince as she pulled his hair. Finally the last anthem finished and you grabbed the jeroboam bottle, giving it a swirl to really make it fizzy before bringing it down on the stage.
Bubbles tickled your skin as the fountain rained down and you turned it on Lando and Max before tipping it back and savouring the taste after almost a year without it. Floating on the high, you took a seat on the podium and watched the last of the confetti fall to the ground. Sensing the celebration was over, Max joined you, tapping his bottle to yours.
“Told them I’d come back and win in a Williams.”
“You didn’t win, zusje,” Max corrected, lifting the medal that hung around his neck for emphasis.
“Yet,” you grinned, taking another long drink before wiping the excess from your lips. “But it’s only round one.”
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dragonageruinedmylife · 3 months ago
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With the conversation with the Arch Heart and some of the things brought up, I keep coming back to the idea of: You live in a world where Gods are fully confirmed existing beings. You are a cleric of Bahamut. You are a Paladin of the Everlight. You are a believer that makes small prayers to the Wild Mother for safe travels on the sea. You find comfort and solace in your faith and in serving the Gods.
Then one day, the gods are suddenly gone. The powers they blessed you with are gone. Perhaps on a random Tuesday for you. Perhaps in the middle of a battle when you needed to save your friend's life. You can no longer hear them. You're panicked, you're scared. You finally learned what happened and it is people saying "the gods left! we're not beholden to them anymore! We can live our own lives!" And your entire world has been ripped apart without anyone asking if this is what you wanted.
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dualdeixis · 1 year ago
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[Image description: A poem titled "ŚšÖ·Ś‘ÖŽÖŒŚ™ / Ű±ÙŽŰšÙÙ‘ÙŠ" written Friday, November 17, 2023: RabbÄ«, I cannot praise your deeds. / RabbÄ«, no weeping moves you. / RabbÄ«, your justice is wedded to perversion. / RabbÄ«, your love looks much like your hatred. / RabbÄ«, the patriarchs have been gilt as idols. / RabbÄ«, the Temple has been built into a prison. / RabbÄ«, mixed multitudes have been spat on. / RabbÄ«, all oneness has been sported with. / RabbÄ«, ministering angels have been consigned to wailing. / RabbÄ«, nameless infants have been fed the world’s silence. / RabbÄ«, your reddened sea has been exiled from shore. / RabbÄ«, your holy city has been split in two. / But by whom? / RabbÄ«, shall I say “them” or “us”? / RabbÄ«, which people is solely yours? / RabbÄ«, what image is divine alone? / RabbÄ«, when comes the Hour of Unlocking? / RabbÄ«, where hides the Place of Its Glory? / RabbÄ«, why? Answer now. Answer. End image description.]
note 1: as the title implies, "rabbī" may be read as the hebrew word for "a jewish cleric" or the arabic word for "my l_rd" (i.e., g_d).
note 2: this poem is written from an anti-zionist jewish perspective. therefore the question "by whom? / shall i say 'them' or 'us'?" is not meant to dispute palestine as the oppressed party. rather, it is meant to be taken extremely literally, because it is situated in my individual experience: should i—a muslim in the process of converting to judaism, who has been estranged from jewish community and had my conversion delayed because of zionism; who has no personal ties to israel but is nevertheless complicit in its genocidal actions by nature of living in the warmongering USA which uses my household's tax dollars to fund it; who believes that "all israel are responsible for one another" (shevuot 39a)—refer to the oppressors as "them" or "us"?
ways to help palestine:
decolonize palestine (patreon)
samidoun (calendar of worldwide protests)
palestine action
palestine legal
bds movement
e-sims for gaza
more resources
ways to help congo:
list of donations
boycott & donate
ways to help sudan:
list of donations
fundraiser for a refugee family
action against hunger
ways to help armenia:
all for armenia
armenian food bank
artsakh housing fund
armenian assembly of america action center
ways to help other indigenous peoples around you:
learn about whose land you may be living on
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whatacaitastrophe · 10 months ago
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Just About Snapped
Summary: Gale stands up to Mystra when she summons him to the Stormshore Tabernacle and is so jacked up on Mountain Dew after that public sex ensues. (he’s not drinking mountain dew i’m just quoting talladega nights)
Rating: Explicit 18+
Pairing: Gale x Tav (Female)
AO3 Link: Here
Warnings: Public Sex, Oral Sex, PiV Sex, Porn with Plot, inappropriate use of Arcane Lock, time works the way I say it works, let me live, You've heard of Astarion fucking on his own grave, but have you considered: Gale fucking on an altar dedicated to Mystra as a fuck you?
When Elminster showed up the moment they walked out of Sorcerer’s Sundries with The Annals of Karsus in Gale’s pack, Fallon had to laugh. The goddess of magic had all but ignored Gale for more than a year, and now she was sending Elminster on her behalf twice in the span of a fortnight; and this time, she wanted to speak to Gale herself. 
“How could she possibly know we read a book?” Fallon asked Gale once Elminster departed. 
“Trust me, by even opening the book containing the type of magic The Annals of Karsus contains, we basically set off a giant firework that spelled out ‘look at me, Mystra!’ Trust me. She knows.” Gale explained bitterly. 
Fallon reached for Gale’s hand, squeezing it softly. “If you don’t want to go see her, we don’t have to. You don’t owe her anything, Gale.”
“No, this conversation is long overdue. On both sides. It shouldn’t take long.” He sighed.
According to Gale, time worked differently in the Outer Planes, and he should only be gone for a matter of seconds, even if his conversation with Mystra lasted hours for him. 
That was almost three hours ago. 
Had Mystra manipulated time so however much time passed for her and Gale, also passed here, on the mortal plane of existence? Honestly, with how vindictive she was, Fallon wouldn’t put it past Mystra to do something like that. The goddess had been watching them, so clearly she knew that Gale was romantically involved with someone else. Hells, she’d probably known since the moment Fallon and Gale played in the Weave together in the early days of their journey together. After all, Fallon hadn’t been subtle by imagining kissing Gale. Was she such a bitter scorned ex-lover that she would drag this out, just to fuck with Fallon as well?
Somehow, Fallon wouldn’t put it past her. 
“What if she’s done something to him?” Fallon wondered aloud frantically as she began to pace in front of the statue of the goddess she did not serve. 
“I highly doubt that,” Astarion mused as he picked at some dirt beneath his fingernails. “Based on what the old codger said, it sounds like she needs something else from Gale since he refused to blow himself up.” The vampire was sitting on the floor of The Stormshore Tabernacle beneath the statue of Selune next to Shadowheart, a position they’d taken after Gale had been gone for five minutes. That was about how long it took for them all to realize that even if Gale thought the conversation shouldn’t take long, Mystra might have other ideas. 
They’d been waiting for Gale to come back from the Outer Planes for so long that the sun was setting on Baldur’s Gate. Another half hour went by, and Astarion and Shadowheart had begun looking at each other skeptically. Fallon wouldn’t put it past the two of them to be communicating mind to mind via the tadpole connection. She stopped pacing, folded her arms across her chest, and stared at the cleric and the vampire. “If you want to leave, you can. I’ll be fine.”
If Gale didn’t come back soon, Fallon was not going to be fine, not even close, but if hearing her say that she would be fine was the permission her friends needed to assuage their guilt for wanting to leave, then Fallon would tell them what they wanted to hear. Shadowheart looked at Fallon, a soft look in her eyes. “He knows where to find us, Fallon. I’m sure he’ll come straight home once–” 
“I’m not leaving.” Fallon interrupted, her tone short and she glared at her friend for even suggesting it. 
“Let it go, Shadowheart. She’ll come back when she’s ready. With or without Gale.” Fallon hated the look on Astarion’s face, because he clearly thought Gale wasn’t coming back. Not tonight, and perhaps not at all. Fallon frowned as she took a seat beneath the statue of the goddess of magic. 
“I’m not leaving.” She repeated simply. Astarion raised his hands in defeat, and Shadowheart shook her head, but the two of them left all the same. 
Another half hour went by.
What if Astarion was right? What if Gale wasn’t coming back? Had they made a huge mistake by heeding Elminster’s request and coming here? From everything Gale had told Fallon about the archmage, she had no reason to believe that he would willingly lead Gale into a trap. However, there was every reason to believe that Mystra wouldn’t send Elminster to fetch Gale under false pretenses just to get Gale to the Outer Planes. 
It was dark outside when the cleric overseeing the temple approached Fallon. “I am departing for the evening, madam. You are, of course, welcome to stay as long as you like, but it will be just you and the gods until your friend returns.” He offered Fallon a gentle smile and placed a hand on her shoulder. A warm feeling flooded Fallon’s body as a soft golden light emitted from the cleric’s palm. 
“A blessing, to keep you safe while you wait.” 
Somehow Fallon doubted she would be attacked here, but if she were, it wouldn’t be the strangest place the Absolutists ambushed her recently, so she was grateful for the blessing all the same. Fallon nodded in thanks to the cleric as she pulled her knees in towards her chest and rested her head on them as she wrapped her arms around herself as he used his magic to dim the lights. If she was going to be here all night, she might as well try to get some sleep. 
Within minutes of the cleric’s departure, there was a flash of purple light and Fallon’s head snapped up. Gale, her sweet, wonderful Gale, came tumbling out of a portal with such force that Fallon couldn’t help but wonder if Mystra had physically shoved him out, or if he’d been leaning against something and she moved it out from under Gale to send him back. At the sight of him, relief flooded her body and Fallon let out a strangled sob as she shot to her feet and ran to embrace Gale. 
“It’s alright, sweetheart. I’m here,” Gale said softly into her hair as he held her tightly, running one of his hands over the back of her head as he held her tight with the other. “I’m here.”
Fallon lifted her head to look at Gale, searching his eyes for an explanation. “What the hells happened, Gale? You were gone all day.”
His voice was bitter as he kissed her forehead. “I know, Mystra told me as much before sending me back. I hate that she took out her ire with me on you like that.”  
Fallon looked up at Gale, refusing to let him go. “I had a feeling it might not be going well based on how long you were gone.” 
“That’s certainly one way of putting it,” Another bitter laugh left Gale’s mouth. He kissed the crown of Fallon’s head and rested his chin atop it as she rested her cheek against his chest. “Would you believe me if I told you she seemed more upset about my relationship with you than she was about our plans for The Crown of Karsus?”
Fallon scoffed and poked his side playfully. “Be serious, Gale.”
“I am being serious, Fallon,” Gale squirmed as she poked a slightly ticklish spot, and it gave him a reason to pull back from her enough to look at Fallon as he continued. “You’ve shown me that love isn’t transactional, or something one has to constantly prove they are worthy of receiving, and because of that, I’ve openly defied Mystra’s direct marching orders. Twice. First by not detonating the orb at Moonrise Towers, and again the moment I decided the Crown of Karsus was not Mystra’s to control. The bruises I left on her ego are far more devastating to her than the thought of my becoming her equal will ever be.” 
Fallon reached up and cupped the side of Gale’s face in her hand. “This goes without saying, but I am very proud of you for standing up to her. I don’t think the Gale Dekarios that I pulled out of the broken sigil in a rock would have been able to. You’ve come a long way, Gale.”
Gale smiled as he covered Fallon’s hand with his own and leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. “I couldn’t have done it without you.” He leaned in and kissed her the way she’d imagined in the Weave the night he’d invited her to play with magic early on in their courtship: slowly at first, then with passion. Fallon sighed into his mouth as she parted her lips for him and slid her tongue against his lower lip, and he responded in kind with a soft moan as his hands gripped her hips. They were moving, and when Fallon felt a hard surface against her backside she broke the kiss to take in her surroundings. Gale had maneuvered their bodies in such a way that Fallon was now leaning against the edge of the altar dedicated to none other than Mystra herself. A sly grin spread on her face as she turned her attention back to Gale, and she was met with an equally devilish loon in her wizard’s eyes. 
Fallon did not need to ask or peer into his mind with the connection their tadpoles afforded them to know what Gale wanted, or what he intended to do, and Fallon was suddenly very grateful she’d chosen to wear the deep blue grecian wrap dress that Figaro at Facemaker’s had talked her into purchasing. The idea of potentially being caught shot a thrill through Fallon’s body, but thanks to the dress, at least this way some of her modesty would be preserved if that ended up being the case. 
Gale’s mouth moved from her lips to her neck and across her shoulder, and Fallon braced herself on the altar’s edge with her hands as she sighed approvingly. His exploration of her body continued south as Gale pressed his face directly between her breasts to kiss her sternum while one of his hands deftly slipped beneath the fabric to toy with her breast before pushing the fabric to the side just far enough for Gale to capture her exposed flesh in his mouth. Fallon moaned as she felt Gale’s tongue roll over the peaked bud before he bit down gently, then soothed the spot with his tongue once more. There was little urgency in the way Gale moved as his other hand slipped between her legs and he pressed his fingers against her core over the cloth, and Fallon whimpered. 
“Gale
time is not really on our side here...” Fallon reminded him. Though if she were being honest, her pleading tone had nothing to do with the potential of getting caught and everything to do with her need for Gale to give her more than just teasing touches. 
Gale released her breast from his mouth and looked at her with a look of innocence on his face that did not reach his eyes. No, there was nothing but pure mischief residing in the expressive brown hues she’d come to adore with everything she had. Fallon’s heart flipped in her chest, and her knees wobbled under his gaze. “Whilst I am not worried about any late night intruders, I see where your concerns lie, so allow me to make an offering as a gesture to your comfort.” Gale removed his hand from between her legs and waved it precisely in the direction of the front door of the Stormshore Tabernacle, and Fallon heard the faint clicking sound of the lock falling into place.
“There. Though, I will say, any person capable of breaking through the Arcane Lock I just placed on the door would be rather deserving of the opportunity to witness me worship a goddess far more worthy of my devotion than any other deity in this temple.” Gale sank to his knees, spreading Fallon’s legs to settle between them and parting the folds of her dress to expose her lower half to the elements. Fallon gathered the excess fabric in her hand and rested it on the altar behind her so it pooled at the goddess of magic’s feet, and Fallon had honestly never felt more powerful. 
Gale’s hands roamed up her legs and thighs until they reached her undergarments. Without a word, Gale hooked his fingers beneath the hem and tugged them down to her ankles and carefully lifted each of Fallon’s feet so he could remove them. They were soaked with her arousal, and Gale smirked as he took notice before tucking the evidence into the pocket of his robes, but he said nothing. 
“I’m surprised Gale, you normally have something to say about the state I’m in when you take off my clothes. No waxing poetic, today?” Fallon teased, unable to recall the last time her normally verbose wizard was so silent.
Gale looked up at her, his smirk still very much present on his face as he reached for her leg to drape it over his shoulder. “Do you mind, Fallon? I’m trying to pray.” 
Fallon opened her mouth to make a snappy retort, but the words died in her throat and were replaced with moan; for no sooner had he asked for her silence, she felt Gale’s mouth against her center as he licked a long stripe before closing his mouth around her clit and lavishing it with his tongue. She whispered an expletive and gripped the edge of the altar, her knuckles white with effort as Gale devoured her, his strong hands gripping her thighs to hold her in place. 
Fallon’s head fell back as she whimpered with pleasure. She opened her eyes for a moment, and Fallon could have sworn the statue of Mystra was looking down at her with a glare. Whether that was actually the case or not, Fallon stuck her tongue out at the statue in a taunting manner anyway. Knowing Gale loved Fallon enough not only to defy Mystra was enough to make her feel a little smug, but the fact that Gale loved her so deeply that he was willing to commit sins of the flesh with her against an altar devoted to his ex-lover? Mystra could come down from Elysium and smite them where they stood (or kneeled, Gale’s case), and Fallon would die a happy woman. 
Gale slid two fingers inside of her and she stifled another moan, raising her hips toward the wizard, urging him to go deeper. Instead, Gale stopped what he was doing and lifted his head to look up at her as she made a noise of disapproval. “My love, why are you holding back?” He asked her before kissing her inner thigh. 
“I didn’t want to disturb your prayers.” Fallon goaded him.
Gale raised an eyebrow at his lover and pressed another kiss to her inner thigh as his fingers began slowly moving inside of her again. “That your voice is not echoing off the walls of this temple means I’m not praying hard enough, dearest. I can’t have any of the other deities questioning my devotion to you, now can I?”  
With that, Gale went back to work, lapping at her clit with his tongue and his fingers moved inside of her. Fallon moaned, and this time, she did not hold back, her sounds of approval only pushed Gale forward. He began to devour her cunt eagerly, almost desperately until the only word Fallon knew how to say was his name. When Fallon finally came, her vision blurred as she cried out in ecstasy, legs shaking as she clung to the altar beneath her for support. Gale remained dutifully between her legs with his mouth and fingers touching her until the spasms subsided and he was certain she’d been fully satisfied. Then Gale was on his feet and fumbling with his trousers beneath his robes and Fallon watched hungrily as his erection sprang free when Gale pushed his trousers down just far enough to release his cock. 
Fallon moved to reach for Gale’s cock, ready to drop to her knees for the wizard and return the favor, but Gale shook his head, bracing her shoulder with the hand not gripping his cock to keep her in place. “As much as I adore the vision of you taking me in your mouth for all the gods to see, I’d much rather them watch me fuck you against this altar, if that’s alright?” 
Fallon’s jaw went slack as she stared at Gale, his eyes dark and desperate with need for her, and she couldn’t help but let out a single, short laugh. “That is
more than alright,” Fallon hooked one of her legs around Gale’s hip and tugged him closer, taking his length in her hand and positioning it at her entrance. “Show them all how good you make me feel. How good we look together.” 
Gale groaned as he kissed Fallon, pushing inside her quickly with a snap of his hips. Fallon shuddered with pleasure as Gale filled her, and she wrapped her other leg around his hip, pushing him deeper inside of her. Gale leaned down to kiss and bite her neck, moaning as he started thrusting his hips, setting a rough pace. “Gods, Gale, I love how well you fuck me,” Fallon moaned, removing her hands from the edge of the altar to wrap them around Gale’s neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. “You’re doing so well, my love.” 
Fallon was balancing precariously on the edge of the altar now, and she held on tightly to Gale to keep from slipping. Mercifully, Gale took notice of this fact and in one swift movement, he lifted her up and away from the altar, the skirt of her dress cascading down around her, and she whined at the loss of him as Gale’s cock slipped out of her as they moved. Fallon thought Gale might be relocating them to the wall next to Mystra’s altar, but instead, Gale carefully sank to his knees and gently laid Fallon on the temple floor. 
The cool stone was welcome against the heat of her body, and she released Gale’s hips from the grasp of her legs, settling them on either side of him. Fallon looked up at Gale with a look of pure adoration. “I love you. More than you’ll ever know.” She reminded him, and Gale smiled at her in return. 
Her wizard leaned forward and kissed her slowly. When he was ready, he pulled away from their kiss and pressed his forehead against Fallon’s. “You are the most magnificent woman I have ever had the great pleasure of knowing. To know you love me, and how much I love you in return
there will never be a greater feeling in the universe.” 
Gale kissed her again as he repositioned himself between her legs and slid back home, his pace slower than before, deeper. This man wasn’t just fucking Fallon in front of an altar dedicated to his ex, he was making love to her: likely in a way he never got to experience with Mystra, if the stories he’d shared were any indication. The love she and Gale shared was the kind of love only mortals would ever understand. It was world-shattering, soul-bonding, life-altering love that many people would never be able to claim they’ve experienced, and Fallon felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have found that type of love in Gale. 
The only sounds echoing off the walls of the temple now were those of their collective moans, and Fallon clung to Gale has she could feel her second orgasm in the edges of her body, rising quickly to the surface. “Gale— I’m not going to last much longer.” Fallon pleaded.
“Let go, dearest, I’ve got you.” Gale encouraged  as his own movements became more erratic with each thrust. 
“I want to go with you. Together.” Fallon requested and all Gale could do was nod as he picked up the pace. 
Within moments, Fallon came with Gale’s name on her lips and he followed mere seconds behind her. They rode out the high together, holding each other close as they moved, until each of them had nothing left to give and Gale collapsed on top of her with a deep kiss. 
Fallon couldn’t help but giggle into his mouth, smiling about what they’d just done. “Do you think when we go to the House of Hope that Raphael will just go ahead and show us to our room? Because surely we’ve just secured our spots in Avernus when we die for what we’ve just done.” 
Gale laughed with her, and he kissed her nose. “Worth it.”  
When they finally returned to the suite at The Elfsong Tavern, before anyone could ask about where Gale had been, Astarion took one look at them and made a disgusted sound. “Oh my gods, the two of you had sex in that bloody temple didn’t you?”
Fallon’s jaw slackened and Gale looked at Astarion guilty.
“How did you—“
“Even if you didn’t reek of sex, darling, go look in the mirror.”
Fallon immediately rushed to the closest mirror and gasped when she took in her reflection. She was a mess. Her hair was disheveled, her dress was barely on straight, and the love bites on her neck had begun to bruise. She caught Gale’s eye in the mirror’s reflection and grinned. 
“Worth it.”
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outlawinthisworld1117 · 4 months ago
Text
Perhaps in another life | Fleabag AU
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☆ pairing: priest!Yunho x fleabag!(fem)reader
☆ genre: Angst, Smut, there is some light fluff as well because I genuinely cannot resist writing it in everything I do.
☆ summary: It's just a Fleabag au... I don't really know what to say here. Yunho is the Priest and you are Fleabag

☆ warnings: 18+ MDNI!!! Religious themes, fingering, oral (f), Praise kink?, edging, vaginal sex, protected sex, aftercare (idk if I need to put a warning for that? but I've seen other ppl do it before so...), pet names (Angel, baby, good girl), Priest kink??, reader does call him Father sometimes, requited love that can't be pursued... ouchie.
☆ word count: 3.8k
☆ authors note: I heard that Yunho is (most likely) Catholic and my religious trauma manifests in interesting ways >:). This work is fiction and purely self-indulgent (really as all fanfics should be), it doesn’t reflect any of the members personally. The fourth wall break text is highlighted in red!
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You weren’t good at love, never had been, and probably never would be. But it wouldn’t stop you from trying because he was all you could think about. Day and Night. Always on your mind. You met him at a family dinner you were unwillingly dragged to. Jeong Yunho. Pretty name. He was the only one that asked about you the entire night. No one ever cared to ask about you, but he did. How could you not form an attachment? You ran into him again while on your way home from work. You were able to see him better in the sunlight. Beautiful smile, really tall, kind eyes
 his hands. Oh, Lord. His hands were gorgeous, and his neck was so— Shit
 He was wearing a clerical collar. Fuck. He was Father Yunho. 
He’s a priest. I want to fuck a priest

That didn’t stop you from seeing him though, nor thinking about him the way you did. How could it? Religious trauma manifested in strange ways. You would visit him at his church. He always welcomed you with a smile, and you would talk for hours. Sometimes about God, you weren’t religious and probably never would be, but sometimes he would ask about you. How you were doing. What your job was. How long you’ve lived here. Where you grew up. Your favorite color. The movies you enjoyed most. Your ex-boyfriends. Your future plans. What you ate for breakfast. He was so curious about everything you had to say. Shit. This was dangerous. You didn’t care though. You would ask about him and the more you learned the more you felt yourself falling for him. Your conversations started to become more intimate. Oh fuck. You were so attracted to him and you could tell he felt the same way about you.
How you ask? Well, it’s simple. Let me recall what happened yesterday, shall I?
“I’d better get going Father, lot’s of stuff to do today—”
He grinned, “Oh fuck you calling me Father like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it”
That’s how
 
And we made out in the confessional box right after.
You felt sick. Nauseous. Your head was pounding.
I really shouldn’t have gone out last night.
Or maybe your headache wasn’t from the ridiculous amount of alcohol you consumed, but instead, of each thought about him that consumed your very being. You didn’t know. What you did know was that if your bus didn’t show up in the next couple of minutes you were probably going to throw up all over the bench you were sitting on. Putting your head in your hands helped distract you from the throbbing against your skull. Though it couldn’t help you with what would happen next. Taking a deep, mind-clearing breath, you lifted your head up from your hands and there he was. Sitting right beside you. Like a damn apparition, waiting to jump scare you.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry!—” He waved his large hands expressively.
“How long have you been—”
“Literally like two seconds,” He clarified quickly.
You exhaled, what felt like your entire soul, out, “W-why? What are you doing here?”
He smiled at you. It always made you feel weak. Such a beautiful smile, but it was quickly replaced with a pursed frown. His eyes became serious as he stared into yours. Then at your lips. Lingering for a moment before going back to your eyes.
“I don’t think you should come by the church anymore. Actually, I don’t just think
 this is me pleading with you to not come by anymore.”
You just stared at him, unable to breathe, your chest felt so tight.
“And I mean that with the greatest of compliments,” he gushed before he got up and left. Just like that. He was gone as quickly as he had arrived.
What. the. fuck

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Regardless of his intent, it didn’t matter if you never went to that church again because you would still see him. At your house. Later that night. Knocking on your door like his life depended on it. So when you opened it up for him, he rushed in looking frantic. Pacing back and forth in your living room before sitting down on your couch, imploring you to do the same. So you did. He wasted no time to speak.
“I’ve sacrificed a lot for this life— I
” His words faltered, unsure of what to even say or why he came to your house in the first place.
You seemed to understand why he was there though. Nodding you took his hand, squeezing it gently in hopes that it would provide him some shred of comfort.
He took a relaxed breath, staring at the floor for a long time before he spoke again, “I shouldn’t have done what I did yesterday. I have to make sacrifices, yet I chose to be selfish. You
. You make me want to be selfish more than anything.”
You didn’t even realize he had moved until you felt his breath tickling your face. He was so close to you. Staring into your eyes, searching, begging, praying that he would find an answer he so desperately craved.
“It’s okay to be selfish, Father,” You whispered, “You’re not going to burst into flames. It  just makes you human.”
His palm was on your cheek, caressing it as he moved just a little bit closer to you. His breath seemed strained, building up to being labored. You had no idea the effect you had upon him, “I know. But
 I can’t. I can’t allow myself to be selfish with you.”
Oh my god. We’re going to fuck.
“Why not allow yourself to, Father?”
He’s totally going to fuck me right here.
“I cannot be intimate with you—”
Oh, yes, yes he can.
“— oh for FUCKS SAKE. What is that?” He leaned back from you, his hand moved from your face to your thigh as his eyes were once again searching yours.
“What is what?”
His hand is

“THAT! Right there. Where do you go when you do that?” His eyes were locked in on you, with extreme clarity, like he could effortlessly read the inner workings of your soul.
“I— I was just thinking
” You whispered, overwhelmed by his detailed observation. No one had ever noticed you like he did. No one. It made you feel hot.
“What are you thinking, Angel?” He pleaded sweetly as if he didn’t just shock your entire being.
Angel

You stayed quiet, feeling exposed in front of him, worried that he could read your thoughts. He started to rub along your thigh, stilling before he spoke with a deep husky tone, “We’re going to have sex, aren’t we?”
You nodded slowly, “Yeah
”
That was all he needed before moving his other hand to cup your face, quickly closing the gap between you as he ardently placed his lips upon yours. He started slow, mapping out your lips with his. He was so observant, noting every touch, taste, and feeling with small, curious movements. Warmth blossomed in your chest, he made you feel so wanted and cared for. He always made you feel this way. And then, as if he was suffocating and you were his oxygen, he began kissing you fervently. Pouring every ounce of selfishness he could into this act like he would never get to do it again. You carded your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer, never wanting to let go of him out of fear he would slip away forever. Begging to be let in, he pressed his tongue lightly, and you gladly obliged, parting your lips like they were the Red Sea. He tasted of red wine and he always smelled so good. Like a room full of unscented candles that were just blown out. Smokey and sensual. It turned the warmth in your chest into a burning desire. You couldn’t help the sounds you were letting out as his hands explored over your body. His dexterous, long fingers traced along you, memorizing how you felt beneath him.
“Do you know what you do to me, Angel?” He moved your position so that you were lying down, his weight pressing on top of you, enveloping your senses completely. You could feel what he meant on your hip. Oh; And his pants were restraining him. A lot. Oh, Jesus
 Hallelujah.
“Yunho
” You breathed lightly, aching for more of him. To which he understood, perfectly, like he always did.
You wrapped your legs around his waist when he picked you up from the couch. Easily. His arms never letting go of your ass on the way to your room. He groaned at the friction he was getting from you as he walked. Once he set you down he began loosening his collar. You watched tantalizingly as he began to slowly unbutton his shirt. He was so beautiful, his chest was lean and sculpted, like a marble statue. You whined when his shirt slipped off completely, feeling embarrassed from the noise that escaped your lips. He grinned at you as he moved forward, causing you to lay flat against your bed. His long fingers teased at the hem of your shirt before he pulled it over your head. His breath hitched when he saw your bra. A black, lacy one you bought recently in the hopes he would be seeing it. 
Dreams do come true.
“Stop that. I want you present here with me,” He begged, tipping your chin so you were looking at him again, as his lips attached to your neck in a feverish haste. Nipping and licking along you like you were a sweet treat he was enjoying for the first time after Lent. Small moans escaped his lips, causing heat to shoot to your core. He moved down from your neck to the mounds of your breasts, kissing lightly while his hand explored your inner thigh. Every small movement made the warmth inside you grow. Snaking his fingers up to the button on your pants he undid it quickly, expertly removing your pants and tossing them to the side with the rest of the discarded clothing. Your panties matched the bra, earning a small hiss from him that shot a thrill through you.
“You’re quite good at this Father. Like you’ve done it before?” You teased him. His eyes were dark and needy, admiring you lying beneath him as he towered above you. The dark patch from your core caught his attention, hitching his breath. He looked different from his normal self. Hungry. Possessive. Almost like a demon had taken over. An incubus of a man before you.
“I had a life before the church, Angel,” Was all he avowed before kneeling down to worship you. Sliding his fingers under the waistband, he grabbed the edge of your panties with his teeth, and slowly
 pulled
 them
 off. The act made you arch your back and let out a gasp; It was singlehandedly the most toe-curling thing you had ever witnessed. He trailed kisses along your leg, starting at your ankle and moving up. Feathery kisses on your calf. Light ones at your knee. Nibbling on your thigh, and ending up between them, where you needed him most. Your breath had become ragged, matching his. He shuddered when he looked at your core, pulsating around nothing.
“Oh fuck
 look at how wet you are for me,” He whimpered, gathering your arousal on his fingers, and showing it to you. You moaned at the sensation of him touching your folds. He sinfully grinned at your reaction before latching on to you with his mouth, swiping his tongue along you salaciously. It ignited a fire with you. Each lick felt like a pleasure you had never experienced before. You were more turned on than you had ever been in your entire life and it was all because of him. His touch made your skin feel like it was on fire in the best way.
“Please— I,” Moaning out, unable to express how he made you feel. You could feel a familiar coil building within you, his ministrations against you were heavenly, “Yun, that feels so good.”
He slipped in one long finger, curving it up, immediately finding your g-spot. He was so fucking good at this. It shocked you. A celibate man who still had all this expert knowledge years later. God, what couldn’t he do? The spring inside you was close to snapping, and he grinned against you, “You gonna cum, Angel?”
“Y-Yes I’m gonna—” He pulled away from you, leaving you right on the edge of bliss. Release escaped you and you cried out, “No, no
Please, Yunho, please.”
You grabbed him gently, but franticly, by his hair, trying to put him back. He just chuckled, the vibrations of his voice buzzed through you, “What’s the rush baby? You’ve waited a long time for this. I’d like to make it last.”
He crawled up to you so that your faces were parallel once again. Kissing you softly, you could taste yourself on him, which made you shiver. Arching your back, he took the opportunity to take off your bra swiftly. He looked at you with heavy-lidded eyes, breathing you in, and then commanding, “Take them off.”
So you did. Unbuttoning his pants quickly so that he was free of them. You might just convert to Catholicism after this because you don’t know what you did to deserve that. He was perfect and painfully hard; there was precum already leaking from his pretty red tip. Experimentally, you reached out and wrapped your hand around him, and the sound that he let out
 was pathetic. He screwed his eyes shut and whimpered into the crook of your neck, “FucK-uh! Angel
 not yet. Please.”
He hadn’t been touched in so long that he was afraid he would burst at the slightest stroke from you. It made you feel unbelievably powerful, so, teasingly, you did it again and he grabbed your wrist, “Behave. Don’t make me say that again.”
“Or what, Father?” You purred into his ear.
“Or I’m going to have to make you repent, Angel,” He glared at you lustfully. It shot a thrill through your entire being, “I’d chose your next words carefully
”
You stayed silent, not out of obedience, but because you didn’t know what to come back with. When you first met him you never would’ve expected him to be like this, but you weren’t going to complain. He grinned, thinking that you had learned your lesson, “Good girl.”
You could’ve come right then. Good girl? It’s like he was trying to kill you. You loved hearing him praise you and he caught onto it quickly. He trailed his fingers lightly up and down your inner thighs as he kissed along your jaw, it made you shudder.
“You’re going to keep being good for me now, okay?” He sighed, breath quivering. You nodded numbly, enjoying this unseen side of him.
“Yunho, please
” You begged him to do something, anything.
“Of course Angel, you’ve been so patient,” He kissed your forehead before he rubbed his fingers against your folds, teasing around your opening. You gasped when he pressed two digits in, all the way to the knuckle, he hissed, “Fuck
 you’re so tight, baby. I’m going to have to stretch you out first.” 
He began to move them, curling into your sweet spot again, pumping in and out while his thumb found your clit; he could already feel your walls loosening around him. As he worked you down there, his lips attached to one of your nipples. It made you cry out. He licked and tugged at the swollen bud before moving to the other one, repeating his actions. The coil in your abdomen wound up quickly and you knew that he wouldn’t have to go much longer. Grasping at his back you took a second to look at him, his face was flushed, and his lips were red from kisses. He was so beautiful it made your heart hurt. Lazily he rubbed circles along your clit as he continued his movements, “Can you cum for me, Angel?”
His words sent you spiraling into ecstasy, your walls trembling around his fingers as he skillfully guided you through your orgasm. Waves of pure pleasure crashed over you, and for a fleeting moment, you could have sworn you glimpsed heaven itself. You took a moment, trembling and breathing heavily, to gather yourself. It was undeniably one of the best orgasms you had ever experienced. When you finally opened your eyes, he was positioned at your entrance, condom already on. His eyes found yours, like a prayer for your consent, to which you nodded in reply. He rubbed slowly along your folds, gathering slick before he steadily began to enter you. He was stretching you out way more than his fingers did, but it wasn't painful; you gasped as he finally bottomed out, “You take me so well, Angel. Are you alright?”
You nodded your head lazily, “More than alright, Yun.”
He kissed you, so lovingly, so sweetly, it made you blush. Every movement of his lips against yours was infused with a depth of emotion, while his hands lovingly caressed your face, his thumb softly brushing against your cheek. He obviously couldn’t say how he felt, but you knew. You knew unmistakably in that kiss. It brought tears to your eyes and, of course, he knew why they were there. You two just understood each other so well. He was inside you, and yet that was the most sacred, intimate thing he could have done. He delicately kissed away the tears on your face until they vanished, and then, tentatively he began to move.
Starting slow, he gently pulled out a bit at a time, allowing you to fully adjust to the movement. When he sensed that you were ready for more, the pace quickened. You clung to his back, as he withdrew to the tip and then thrust back into you. It was as if he was perfectly made for you, with every thrust meeting that sweet spot inside you over and over again. The heat in your core began to intensify, each whimper and moan from him sending waves of pleasure coursing through you, “FUck-ah! Mmm Angel, fuck you feel s-so good.”
“F-Father
” You tightened around him with each thrust, the room alive with the sounds of squelching and skin meeting skin, intertwined with the breathless whimpers from both of you. It left you feeling delightfully dizzy. He pressed his face into your neck, teasing, and nipping along it, leaving behind little marks that would greet him in the morning light, “God
 Yunho, Please, more please.”
He was ramming into you at an ungodly pace with an intensity that felt almost divine, the coil inside you teetering on the brink of snapping once more. Attacking your neck with fervent nips and tantalizing licks that sent waves of pleasure humming through you. His movements began to grow frantic, his rhythm wavering as he neared the edge with you. Your second orgasm surged through you unexpectedly, his clumsy thrusts elongating the pleasure to new lengths. With a few erratic movements, he tensed in your embrace, a chorus of moans, whimpers, and whispered curses escaping his lips as he reached his peak. He relaxed in your arms, letting his full weight rest on you as you both came down from your highs, feeling the rhythm of each other’s heavy breaths intertwining in the stillness.
“I can’t believe you did that, Father,” You whispered, in a post-high clarity.
He chuckled against you, resting his chin on your chest, smiling as he looked up at you, “Yeah
 me either.”
He tenderly kissed your cheek before pulling out and disposing of the condom. With a gentle smile, he got up and went to your bathroom, returning with a warm, wet rag to clean both you and himself with. After he was done he grinned, “Go use the bathroom, Angel, and then come back here, okay?”
You came back out from the bathroom wearing a comfy T-shirt and a fresh pair of underwear, and he was waiting on your bed, with his boxers back on. He looked absolutely adorable with his tousled hair and those sleepy, drowsy eyes. He pulled you back onto the bed, nestling close to you, awaiting blissful sleep to lull over you both.
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His hair softly ticked you awake. He was wrapped around you like he had used you as a body pillow at some point during the night. You hadn’t slept that great in a while. Your stirring had woken him up. He inhaled deeply, holding you tightly for a moment before releasing you. A radiant smile lit up his face, and you could see the gears behind his eyes whirring with life.
“What are you thinking about?” You titled your head to capture his attention.
He just grinned at you, “I just
 I don’t know what this feeling is.”
“Is it God or is it me?” You playfully joked.
“I don’t know,” The smile on his face wavering slightly, taking your question seriously into consideration. It made your heart drop a bit.
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Your feet ached from a long, exhausting day at work. You were glad to finally be on your way home. Looking up at the bus stop schedule you saw that yours was about twenty minutes away.
Great

You heard a sharp inhale next to you and a small chuckle, “Might be quicker if you walked, Angel.”
Yunho was sitting next to you at the bus stop, once again.
“Long time no see stranger,” You smirked.
He smiled at you warmly, but there was a look in his eyes that squashed your joking mood. He just dryly laughed and stared into your eyes for a good while. Those loving brown orbs of his were full of sincerity and anguish. You nodded slowly, a suffocating ache in your chest made itself present.
“It’s God
 isn’t it?” You choked, the lump in your throat had become overwhelming.
“Yeah
” He sighed, taking hold of one of your hands in his.
You just let out a small laugh and smiled, tears welling into your eyes, making it hard to see him, “You know, the worst thing is that I fucking love you. I- I love you.”
“Angel—”
“No, no. Let’s not. Let’s just leave that out there for a moment okay?” You interrupted, the tears breaking free from your eyes to roll down your red cheeks, “I love you.”
He squeezed your hand, a warmth that provided little comfort to you now, before he whispered, “It’ll pass”
You bit at your lip, trying to prevent yourself from having a breakdown at the bus stop. So you plastered on a fake smile, choked back your tears, and nodded. You stayed like that, with your hand in his, for what felt like a fucking eternity, until he got up.
As he began to walk away he paused, turning to you one last time, confirming what you already knew, “I love you too.”
Fucking hell...
And then he was gone. Your bus was there, magically, and he was gone. Perhaps in another life, he wouldn't be. But this was the one you had.
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a/n: This is my first time writing smut and posting it somewhere. So I am very open to feedback and constructive criticism. If you enjoyed please consider reblogging, it lets me know that I should continue writing <3
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ajdrawshq · 6 months ago
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did the gods just fucking die.
oct2path has become real.........
#ive heard of vide so its neat to see that name so early on#WHY AM I AELFRIC NOW ??????????#ok hold on actually . 8 gods. presumably the main 8 that cover the octojobs#where were the other 4 during this . and galdera ???#is vide another name for galdera or are these absolutely different guys here#. that is NOT what i imagined vide to sound like#wonderful framing here btw#IM FIGHTING AS AELFRIC ?#GOD SKILLSXBJSJKD#this is such a fun way to show this omg#theyre doing so much to make this world feel even more lively than the first game..#oh its crick :]#temenos is so fucking funny he sees a guy abt to grab him and just . 'oh?'#LMAO?#yeah i see why everyone went wild over this guy when the game first came out hes great#he said the thing !#i adore the animation for his cloak when he moves#HE SAID THE OTHER THING. I FORGOT HE CALLS HIM THAT . happy pride#XJVSJXS HOLY SHIT THEY TALK WHEN U SUMMON#obsessed w this game . oh my god#crick what the fuck was that attack. jesus christ#NOOO THEY REPLACED THE REFLECT SKILL WITH A SHIELD SKILL.....#but also the fact that they took sp steal from the thief job and gave it to the fuckin CLERIC is like. really funny. so its fine#CANOE !!!!!!#'may the sacred flame guide you ... or something like that...' yea. me too man#the fact that characters can make quips at each other during battle now makes me so so so happy#this is how coerce works ?????? what the hell is he doing .#i love how its implied to be a battle of the mind in some way but temenos still gets actual damage irl. me trying to have conversations#octotag#octopath traveler 2 spoilers
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rs-hawk · 3 months ago
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Healer in the Dungeon
CisMale!Reader x Intersex Minotaur Women
Word Count: 2,649
Commissioner: @gviridian
Contains: mpreg, slight non-con, oral, multiple partners, and a lot more
Male Healer adventurer gets separated from his party, ends up getting captured by minotuar woman. Uses healing magic on himself to survive and eventually get accustomed to her large Womanhood, only realize top late that she is a distinct form of Minotaur and he is now pregnant. Fast forward to him happily suckling her cock, pregnant with her sisters child. Word got out in the dungeon, so he now looks forward to a life of being a Minotaur breeder and spends his days caring for his many daughters or being railed by the various musky bull women community in the dungeon. Nothing could make him happier.
The dungeon you and your party chose was supposed to be off limits for humans, but because you were the only human in your party, you managed to trick your way inside. The rest of your party warned you that human free dungeons usually are that way for a reason, but you didn’t care. The reward for clearing this dungeon was more than you could spend in a year, and you were your party’s only Healer. You needed to be there. No silly warnings with no explanation was going to keep you from earning enough to live off of comfortably.
It started off normally enough. Your party fought the upper level creatures and handled them with ease. Tentacle monsters. Small mimics. Goblins. The usual dungeon starters. You didn’t see anything special about this place so far. Why had there been so many warnings for human adventurers to stay away? It was even easy at parts. There was nothing weird or unusual in the slightest. You started to get the creeps when a goblin realized that you were a human, and started laughing so hard that even when he was impaled on the Cleric’s staff, he didn’t stop. Your party was also unnerved by this, and asked again if you were sure you wanted to go to the lower levels. After a moment of hesitation, you insisted that you still wanted to go. You were strong, and more than a Healer. You could hold your own. Of course, your arrogance was your mistake. Or rather, you mused looking back, your luck.
In the lowest level of the dungeon, the Bard, captivated by a Fey who had turned a corner, tripped a booby trap. You were the only one of the party who ended up on the side of the wall that you did. You could hear them, and they could hear you, but none of you had any idea how to get back to each other. After what little muted conversation you could have, it was decided that the group would try to just complete the dungeon as is, and meet at the entrance. If worse came to worse, you all had respawn potions and could respawn back at the entrance.
You have no idea how long you were wandering around the depths of the dungeon when you heard movement behind you. In seconds, your torch was knocked from your hand, and you were pinned to the ground. Even though every instinct in you was screaming danger, and your mind was reeling, trying to think of a way to escape the heavy weight on top of you, your cock hardened at the hot breath on the back of your neck. In the flickering light of your torch, you saw the shadow of a large Minoatur pinning you down.
“A human,” a breathy, feminine voice almost purred in your ear. “I haven’t had one in so long.”
Your face flushed as large hands groped your body. She tugged you into her lap, her fingers trailing along the clothed bulge. Your breathing became more rapid as she repeated the action, drawing precum from your twitching cock.
“I can smell your arousal, little human,” she chuckled as she began to bounce you in her lap, only then realizing that instead of her leg, which you thought you had been leaning against, it was her massive cock.
In seconds, she ripped your clothes off of you, several of your potions scattering and smashing to the floor. She forces her fingers into your mouth, praising you for how well you take them before she slides one into your ass, trying to prep you for what’s still grinding against you. You can barely draw in a breath, pushing your body back against her finger. Despite yourself, it feels so good that your mind is turning to mush. When she adds a second finger, you can’t help but start stroking your cock in time, rolling your hips both back onto her fingers and forward into your hand.
“If you’re so eager, you must be ready,” she ran her tongue up your neck, your hand flattering as goosebumps sprung up in the wake of it.
You barely have time to whisper a preventive harm spell before she’s pushing her fat cock into you inch by inch. You’re already whimpering and panting by the time she’s halfway inside of you. Her warm, silky voice praising you for taking her so well as she continued. Once she finally bottomed out inside of you, you both cry out. Tears prick your eyes at the full feeling. You didn’t know that you could actually feel that full. You’re falling forward, barely able to keep your face from slamming into the rocky floor.
You struggle to remember what it felt like just an hour ago before you were stuffed with a Minotaur’s cock. Part of you felt ashamed for how much you liked it. You didn’t even know if the rest of your party was okay. What if they were hurt, and you were here almost cumming from a woman shoving herself inside of you over and over? There was another part though, a much bigger part, that was just thinking about how good it felt. It was all you could do to not entirely focus on the feeling of being stuffed. You had always prided yourself on being a strong man, but you never realized until this moment how much you wanted a much stronger woman to put you into your place, and this was where it was. On the ground. Under her. Being used like a plaything.
“What a good human,” she grunted as she gripped your hips, holding you there for a moment as she gathered herself. You felt so tight and warm wrapped around her cock that it’s taking everything in her not to fill you already.
All you could do was moan in response, your neglected cock dripping precum since you couldn’t even try to stroke yourself now. Without warning, she started thrusting into you. The pace she set was steady at first, allowing you to grunt out a few spells to heal the minor injuries she caused you as she picked up the pace. By the time she was at the pace she wanted, where she was basically using you as a living sex doll, pumping her cock in and out of you so hard that you were on the edge of cumming without any additional stimulation, you were half out of your mind. She seemed to still have enough wits about her to scoop up some of the spilled potions with her fat fingers to shove them into your propped open, drooling mouth.
“There we go. I don’t want my new toy broken yet,” she cooed as you lazily sucked on her fingers, relaxing as the potions took some effect. Almost instantly after the potion started to take effect, you came. She chuckled again, nosing and licking your neck. “Do you like that, little human?” The only answer you could manage to get out was a nod, almost gagging on her fingers that were still in your mouth.
Shouldn’t you be humiliated? The creature that you had come down here to protect the rest of your party from, the creature you had come to kill if push came to shove, was claiming you as her own. That train of thought was hazy as it crossed your mind, because it was being fucked out of you by the giant woman behind you who was muttering about what a good piece of breeding stock you would be. At the time, you couldn’t properly understand what she meant. All you could really focus on was the pleasure of her sliding in and out of you, stretching you so deliciously that you thought you might pass out from pleasure.
You don’t know how many times you cum before she dug her nails into your soft skin, making you wince. Her breathing got harder, faster, as she was basically rutting into you at that point. Her cock was stuffed so far inside of you that your stomach was slightly extended. Then, she came. You groaned, panting and pushing back against her as if that would stop the seed from dripping down your legs.
She slowly drug her cock out of you, licking along your back, fingering her cum back into you. “Don’t waste all of that, human.”
Your head wasn’t clear enough to see why it mattered. After all, human males can’t get pregnant, right?
You quickly gave up trying to find your way out of the dungeon, satisfied with your new Minotaur Mate pounding into your holes whenever she pleased. You were basically always filled with her cock, and you loved it. You never were that much of a fighter, only wanting to be an adventurer for the money and travel. You liked healing people, and you cared about your party, sure, but this was heaven for you. Your greedy hole always sucked her in, milking her dry. It wasn’t until a few weeks later that you realized, even though she hadn’t stuffed you in nearly a day, your stomach was still extended, as if still full of her cum.
“Love?” you called for her, making your way out of her nest to the edge of the dungeon, peering into the darkness.
She came to you quickly, sounding worried. “What is it, little human? Are you hurt?’
A smile tugged at the corner of your lips as she looked over you, patting your head and stomach. After a moment, she visibly relaxed. “I’m okay. I’m just still feeling a little full and nauseous,” you explained as you put a hand over your almost bloated looking stomach. “I was wondering if maybe there was any ginger so I could make a healing potion so I could feel better.”
It surprised you when she laughed, scooping you up in her arms. “Little human, morning sickness is completely normal. Don’t even human breeders get that?’
“If you’re pregnant, sure,” you laughed back, though still confused.
She nuzzled into your neck, breathing in your scent. “And you’re pregnant, so it seems completely normal, no?”
You froze, going rigid in your arms. “What?”
It was time for her to look confused as she pulled back from you, her bull head cocked to the side. After a few moments, she set you down, sitting down beside you. She explained that after the original Minotaur was nearly killed, his descendants all became able to breed or be bred, regardless of gender. It was a way for Posiden to ensure that the embarrassment and curse of Minos lived on. The gears in your head were turning as you realized what she was saying. Her cum literally turned you into her breeding stock.
“Humans are always the best at adapting. I’ve wanted my own for so long,” she said wistfully. “I’m so glad that you came to me.”
You don’t respond, trying to wrap your head around it. You had a million questions, but weren’t sure you wanted the answer to any of them. “I’m going for a walk. I won’t leave the dungeon,” you promised as a concerned moo left her lips.
She stood up, wanting to stop you, but the look on your face made her falter. You knew easily how to leave by now, but you didn’t want to. Not really. You were happy with your new Mate, your new life, but being pregnant? You never even thought about it. The other Minotaur women came to check on you, obviously having been told by your Mate what happened. You assured them all you were okay, trying to ignore their hungry gaze now on your stomach and body. Did they all want to see you swell with their young?
It only took a couple of hours for you to return home, crawling into the hay beside your mate. She wrapped her arms around you, licking your hair as an apology, cleaning you and nosing you. By the time you have your first daughter, your now wife had made sure that there was plenty of potions and ingredients for you to cast spells or make any potions that you might need. It wasn’t as long of a process as you expected, and the healing potions made the recovery easy. Seeing your wife nurse your daughter, cooing and peppering her with kisses, made your heart swell almost as much as your stomach had.
By the time your first daughter could walk, the other women had already decided that it was only fair for your sister in law to be the next to breed you. The other women watched your daughter as your head was shoved down on your wife’s cock and her sister’s was stretching your tight human ass. You gagged, looking up at your wife through blearly eyes. She was stroking your hair, telling you how good you looked choking on her cock, and how well you were taking her sister.
Her sister wasn’t as gentle with you as your wife had been the first time, giving you no time to adjust to her size. You were immediately stuffed with her cock, her nose ring leaving indents on your back as she kept her face pressed against it, fighting the urge to cum inside you after just a few thrusts. Your wife stroked your hair, encouraging you to relax your throat so she could get as much pleasure out of you as her sister.
It didn’t take long for your stomach to be swollen with your sister in law’s daughter, but of course that just meant that she used you even more often, knowing that her claim on you was waning. Your wife, of course, was always involved, cumming down your throat and having you thank her for letting you be her birthing and breeding mate anytime you were dripping cum. Sometimes she was even kind enough to stroke your cock, teasing you when you came before her sister filled you.
The women all fawned over you. They brought you treats, and insisted that when you were heavy with child that you should rest. Your wife, of course, doted on you the most, even as busy as she was with your daughters. She would stroke your cock, telling you what a good boy you were for taking whoever had fucked the most recent daughter into you. She licked and kissed your neck and hair, soothing you when you cried out from the overstimulation of her reward.
“Little human, you’re doing so well. You were made to be a breeder,” she whispered with clear affection, pressing a kiss to your forehead as she drew another orgasm out of your poor cock.
Some of the other women stopped to watch, their cocks hard and eager to get the chance to breed your little human hole. Your head lulled to the side as your wife picked you up to carry you to her bed. The others were shouting out cheers when your tunic slid to the side as well, showing off your swollen stomach. Your wife hadn’t even taken the time to fully undress you.
“You will look even better when it’s my daughter,” one of them laughed, stroking her cock to the sight of you.
“He looked best swollen with mine,” your sister in law argued, her throbbing cock dripping precum as she licked her lips, eyeing you like prey.
And that’s how you hope to live the rest of your life. Belly swollen with yet another daughter to dote on and nurture, teaching magic that normally Minotaurs wouldn’t be able to access, and being stuffed by your loving wife and her many sisters and cousins, being passed around like the absolutely desperate and aching breeding bitch she made you into. Who cared about treasure and riches anyway?
You can get your own commission here!
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taggedmemes · 11 months ago
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SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART ONE
i think you're past the point of saving.
together we might survive.
get me out of this damn thing.
we have no time for stragglers.
do you intend to die for a stranger?
i thought that damn thing was going to be my coffin.
you keep dangerous company.
we can watch each other's backs along the way.
enough of this chatter.
who put you in charge?
i'll trust my own judgement.
a miracle, given everything you've been through.
it'll all be for nothing if you don't find help soon.
you're alive. i'm alive. how is this possible?
seems like we're the lucky ones, judging by all the corpses strewn about.
anything's an improvement on where we just came from.
'we'? you want to stay together?
we need each other.
i can't think of better company.
i wanted to thank you again.
you should be furious, shouldn't you?
kill it yourself — you look capable enough.
i was hoping for a kind soul.
let's try to keep that lovely neck of yours in one piece.
no need for this to get messy.
i need her alive.
and to think i was ready to decorate the ground with your innards.
please, allow me to introduce myself.
of course it'll turn me into a monster.
you should travel with me.
our odds are better together.
i was ready to go this alone.
maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea.
you seem like a useful person to know.
let's hope any future acquaintances don't hold a blade to your throat by way of introduction.
no harm in a little mystery.
conversation shouldn't be made, it should be grown.
maybe i'd like to get to know you better.
i'm usually better at this.
couldn't have phrased it more repellently myself.
you don't happen to be a cleric, by any chance? a doctor, surgeon? uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?
it's not exactly a common affliction.
a parasite shared is a parasite halved.
you're both twice as tall as me but have half the bloody backbone.
no point getting killed.
second worm gets the cheese and all.
nobody's getting any damn cheese.
she obviously sees your kindness as weakness.
don't let her take advantage.
a simply 'thank you' wouldn't go amiss.
your friends abandoned you.
i've got plenty of friends who aren't soft.
let's just hope she reserves those impulses for any common foes.
what a curious way to awaken.
what is the worth of a single mortal's life?
something the matter?
you must have thoughts about our little stowaways.
thinking about it won't help.
i suppose we'd go our separate ways — not a slight on your company, of course.
no reason for us to not stay together if we get on well.
if we do survive, we'll have separate lives to return to.
let's just say it's a very person, very private acquaintance.
you're not the kind of company i'd keep willingly.
perhaps i'll return the favor at some point.
she's delightful, in a very 'look at me twice and i'll dismember you' kind of way.
i understand much beyond your comprehension.
you'd do well to observe more and question less.
and they didn't cut you from navel to neck?
i am still getting used to people like you.
that large, fleshy nose of yours looks like a mistake.
best to keep quiet, lest any drivel leak from your lips.
i do not intend to stay long in this place.
may your actions express the same mettle.
anomalies lead to surprises.
what hasn't happened may yet come to pass.
not a collaboration i'd have anticipated.
can't you tell me something real about you?
i have a great respect for privacy, especially my own.
i have a very disciplined mind.
those tricks won't work on me.
please don't try that again unless i invite you to.
we meet again, as predicted.
care to explain why you're helping me?
what kind of services can a skeleton offer?
a monster forms inside us, and you care to be idle?
i knew your kind to be fragile.
don't you know an exhausted warrior is an ineffective one?
it's a thickheaded notion in a complex circumstance.
what were you two talking about?
if that was any of your business, we'd have called you over.
your business is mine.
we're entwined.
if we're to survive, we need to trust each other.
you seem reliable.
we're overdue some good fortune.
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chaoticbardlady99 · 9 months ago
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Never Have I Ever
 (Astarion x F! Reader) MDNI 18+
Synopsis: You accidentally befriended the Heroes of Baldur’s Gate at Elfsong a little less than a year after the Elderbrain attacked.
Six months later, on your birthday, you are playing a game of “Never Have I Ever” at Elfsong Tavern and a topic of conversation takes a very interesting turn
 that leads directly into the bedroom with your roommate, Astarion.
CW: PIV, Oral, Smut, loss of virginity, other sex words I can’t think of, brief mentions of past trauma
Pic does not belong to me
Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated 💜 thank you for reading!!!
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The warm laughter that fills the air is infectious as you take another welcome sip of the red wine Astarion insisted you try. You are so horribly in love with the man that he could probably convince you to enjoy poison if he really tried.
As a new introduction to the friend group, you didn’t expect to find a roommate a short 3 months after getting your job at Shadowheart’s Clinic. You had just moved to Baldur’s Gate- you apparently have horrible timing- but you were happy to help with healing the injured, checking in on the sick, and even helping people grieve their loved ones appropriately.
You weren’t originally living with anyone. In fact, you had been staying at Elfsong for an extended period of time. Around month 3, you had been playing a late set (Being a cleric and Bard for Oghma is a big job) and you hadn’t noticed the man following you back to your room. Thankfully, Astarion had promised to go see your set and had noticed the intruder after you had said good night.
It was safe to say you were shaken and Astarion immediately told you that you A. Did not have a choice and would be taking his second bedroom and B. Need to be significantly more aware. You agreed to both.
He tries desperately hard to return your rent money to you- insisting that he is more than well off enough. You just stare at him silently until he feels so uncomfortable he takes it. You refuse to live in his very nice townhome for free- especially since you know his backstory.
Astarion has his first place, all to himself, and he has allowed you to intrude upon that space because you very nearly died or worse one night. He swear it isn’t an intrusion, but you always worry- it’s one of the few things you are very good at.
Paying rent also prevents you from becoming unrealistic in your expectations of your relationship with him.
It is just a friendship, roomie situation- nothing more, nothing less. You crave more, obviously, he’s everything you’ve ever wanted out of a partner- even the grumbly, more closed off pieces. You’ve stayed up with him through his nightmares and you’ve fallen asleep in each other’s arms more than a few times, but that was just comfort for him.
Right?
“Never have I ever
,” Wyll trails off, obviously very drunk as he leans on his fiancĂ©e, Karlach, for support, “had sex!”
The rest of the group groans about how unfair that is, but you aren’t necessarily sure what to do.
You’re a virgin and it’s something you’ve kept pretty close to the chest up until this point. You might as well keep the party rolling.
You barely drink- just enough to pretend- and no one seems the wiser.
Oh, but you are just a silly little drunk fool because of course Astarion notices. You are practically all he seems to notice anymore- or at least that’s what it feels like.
Everything about you pulls him in and he craves you.
Gods does he crave you.
He has to bite back the possessive growl that threatens to tear through his throat as he watches the alcohol not even touch your lips- the sleight of hand may have tricked their companions, but not him.
He adores you and at first it mortified him- now it just consumes him. Astarion loves spending every second he can with you- whether that be reading, cuddling, talking, etc. Maybe another activity could be added to the addendum

His fangs nip his bottom lip as he tries to snap himself back into reality and not be stuck in the idea of what you would sound like underneath him. It’s especially hard to ignore the fact that he would be the only one who knows what pleasure looks like on your face and in your voice- how your body responds to being teased and worshipped.
“Star! You’re bleeding!”
Shit. I must have bit my lip too hard.
You take your clean napkin and begin to dab away the blood on his lip. The moment your other hand touches his cheek to keep him steady- he feels like he’s melting.
“All better,” you say with a beaming smile.
“Thank you, Darling. I have no idea what I would do without you.”
“I don’t know what he’d do without you,” Tav drunkenly chimes in, Gale facepalms at his wife’s antics, “gosh darn’t- stop spilling your own blood! Worst vampy ever!”
The collective HUSH around the table makes Astarion laugh and Tav looks at him sheepishly.
“Sorry.”
“Oh it is more than fine, my very drunk friend,” Astarion teases, “if anything, I think you need more wine.”
Gale groans, “please don’t encourage her.”
Astarion’s spirit became more and more restless the longer the night out continued. This wasn’t his ideal plan for the night, but he had chickened out at the last minute.
He had initially wanted to take you out on a date- today is your birthday and you didn’t want the whole group to know since you don’t love the attention, but Astarion has taken advantage of the opportunity.
He had already given you the flowers he had “just happened” to find earlier that day and you had been over the moon.
Astarion had also ‘purchased’ a gold bracelet for you- the delicate metal was simple with a single malachite heart charm on it. He learned very, very quickly that you believe in all that ‘crystal nonsense’ as Lae’zel puts it. Astarion’s heart glows a little bit when he catches it reflecting candle light off your wrist. You loved the bracelet equally as much and kissed him on the cheek.
While he isn’t necessarily sure he believes in that crystal nonsense, Astarion does believe in you so the Rhodochrosite bracelet you had bought him shortly after you moved in is almost always on his wrist. You explained that it was meant to heal trauma- he later learned that it more specifically helped with sexual trauma. You never elaborated on it or pestered, but the gesture in itself made him feel accepted and safe.
The first night he opened up to you had also been the first time it hit him that he genuinely has feelings for you. Those feelings have grown naturally and Astarion rarely feels the need to put a mask up when he’s around you anymore. Astarion is as ‘messy’ as he wants because you’d already seen through him and you have continued to hold space for him- grounding him in your atmosphere.
You want him too- of course. Whether you have realized that or not yet- Astarion isn’t sure.
You occasionally let him feed from you (if you don’t have to pull an all-nighter for a Tavern gig) and he can taste your desire in your blood. The shyness and lack of advances on your end make more sense now- you are entirely inexperienced.
It’s absolutely delicious and now Astarion is really kicking himself for not asking if you could both skip meeting with your mutual companions to go out together.
Astarion wanted to ask to take you to dinner. He wasn’t quite sure why that was his first thought considering he can’t eat, but he figured he could drink wine while the two of you talked. His next plan of action was to offer his hand to you as you walked home together, maybe read together for a bit, and then he was hoping that you could be, well, intimate with each other. He genuinely wants to be with you that way and he hopes the feeling is mutual, but that you don’t only see him as a sex object.
Astarion breathes a sigh of relief when the group finally decides to leave the tavern. It may not be the night he envisioned, but it’s quickly amended by the walk home. His idle fingers take up the space between yours and you don’t fight the invasion- instead you smile coyly and a Rosie blush paints your cheeks. He wonders what it would feel like to have your hands entangled in his hair as he-
“Astarion?”
His train of thought is interrupted by his name leaving your lips- your brows furrowed in concern.
“Are you okay? I’ve been asking you if you want to continue to read that book together when we get home, but you seem kind of out of it.”
“Oh!” he manages to choke out, “I- of course, Darling- I would love to continue our book. I apologize, I didn’t realize how lost in thought I had become.”
You open the door of the apartment, a look of concern still adorning your face. You are so adorable and wonderful- he wants to kiss the worry off of your face.
You are discarding your shoes at the door while Astarion goes to locate the bottle of wine he had purchased earlier that day. Reading is fun and all, but Astarion has another idea.
Why not use a childish game to move your relationship forward? It’s not like Astarion has ever claimed to be above that and he could easily pass the idea off as wanting to continue having fun.
“That’s not a book,” you tease, eyeballing the bottle of wine suspiciously, “are you attempting to put me in a stupor and on my birthday nonetheless?”
“Darling,” he says with a gasp, his hand splayed across his chest, “how dare you accuse me of such a thing? I’m positively hurt.”
You merely roll your eyes at him, but happily accept the glass he pours you. As you go to sip- he puts his hand over the top of the glass.
“I was thinking we could continue that debaucherous little game we were all playing earlier,” Astarion says with feigned innocence, “what was it called again? Ever have I? Never have I?”
“Never have I ever?”
Astarion tries not to smile too widely at the way your eyes slightly widen at his words and his enthusiastic nod. He wonders if you realize you’ve been caught.
“Yes! Thank you, Darling- that would have driven me to the brink of insanity,” he says with a chuckle, “in the spirit of good fun, you may go first.”
You give him an unamused look before giving in.
“Never have I ever
.. been a VAMPIRE!”
“You wretched little-!”
Astarion scowls, pretending to be irritated as he sips his wine. He narrows his eyes at you and feels his chest bloom with feelings of affection as the mischievous glint in your eye grows brighter.
“Never have I ever
 lit a bookshelf on fire.”
Your cheeks burn brightly as you leer at him over the top of your glass. The questions continue to be absurd and personal- questions that the others wouldn’t even begin to think about asking.
Never have I ever read this trashy novel, never have I ever been personally victimized by my roommate buying a ‘stay out’ sign, so on and so forth until Astarion finally feels comfortable enough to use the one ‘never have I ever’ that he’s been sitting on since you both arrived at home.
“Never have I ever lied about having sex.”
The look on your face is priceless. Astarion can’t help but let the thrilled little giggle leave his lips as you stammer over your words.
“Uh- I- hmmmmmmmmm,” you gulp the remaining morsels of wine, “how did you
 was it that obvious?”
It’s moments like these where he forgets tact and says the first stupid thing that comes to his brain.
“No, I just made a point of watching.”
Shit.
Your lips purse as a look of satisfaction crosses your face. You wiggle your eyebrows at him before pouring yourself a bit more wine.
“Oh is that so?” you tease, “and why ever would you feel the need to do that?”
Cheeky pup.
“Hmmmm,” he hums, sliding closer to you on the couch, “you could say it may align with an interest of mine?”
The words you are about to say die on your tongue when his fingers begin to trail up under your dress- his eyes find yours in an attempt to ask a silent question.
Your eyes are blown wide with lust, need, and adoration. Your body naturally relaxes under his touch and he can already smell the scent of your budding arousal.
“Wh- what kind of interest?” You whisper, looking at him earnestly.
“Well,” Astarion moves until he’s hovering over you on the couch, he begins leaving a trail of sweet kisses along your jaw, “a tactful, brilliant individual such as myself needed to know for research as you are a subject I have yet to study.”
“And if you were?” you stammer, “given the opportunity, I mean?”
Astarion’s route along your jaw stops abruptly as he looks at you- the nervousness in your voice causing him to doubt his assessment of the situation. He’s surprised to see a hopefulness in your gaze- maybe you do just want sex? Maybe that’s all you want from this at all?
Astarion tries to suppress the disappointment that threatens to pull angry words out of his mouth. If this is what he is to you then he supposes he can live with that.
“Naturally we’d be having sex already, my Dear.”
You are searching his face and your lips are pursed in a thin line.
“I haven’t been
 intimate with anyone because I want it to be with someone I really care about,” you say softly, “and I really care about you, Astarion. That’s why I want to make sure that this is what you want- that you care about me in this way too.”
Astarion isn’t really sure what to do with that information. He’s sure the blank stare on his face isn’t helping the situation or your nervousness.
A choked sob gets stuck in his throat- you care for him and you are willing to have sex with him because you care for him. It’s not just because you think he’s ‘pretty’ or fell for all his honeyed words.
“This is what I want, Darling,” he returns your words with equal softness, “I want to be with you in every intimate way imaginable.”
A shock overwhelms his body when you sit up and hesitantly press your lips to his, but he rebounds even faster the moment you start to pull away.
Your lips are soft and warm against his. They are even more wonderful than he could ever imagine. Astarion grinds himself into you- noting how perfectly you fit together with him between your legs. The shakey moan and clash of teeth causes him to smile.
Instead of taking control of the situation, he allows you to guide him. Your inexperienced mouth is clumsy with it’s affections as you learn how to intertwine yourself with him.
The touch and act is affectionate and unhurried, curious and innocent. Astarion feels like a giddy virgin himself as he begins to explore the skin hiding underneath your flimsy dress.
Your arousal is already coating the inside of your thighs, your underwear soaked through, and Astarion nearly loses his composure entirely. He wants to let you take this at your pace, but Gods above that is not going to be an easy feat.
His curious hands find purchase on your hips and at the hem of your underwear- his thumbs dipping underneath the fabric to tease you ever so slightly.
It feels like electricity courses through both of you with each moment of skin contact. You’ve laid next to each other, you’ve fallen asleep in each other’s arms, and overall, you’ve developed a friendship with each other.
You feel made for him and he feels made for you.
You have never felt more confident in a decision in your entire life. Your body sparks to life under his touch and you try to push aside the embarrassment you feel with every whimper and moan that leaves your lips.
You want- no need- more. You want to know him and you want him to know you.
You boldly allow your hands to meet his and you begin to discard your already soaked underclothes- Astarion growls against your neck at the action. His hands grab yours- pinning them above your head and you whine in protest.
“Someone’s eager,” he teases, “are you tired of feeling empty, Little Love? Would you like me to ruin you for anyone else?”
You clench around nothing and shake your head ‘yes desperately in response. Astarion clicks his tongue and smiles devilishly.
“That’s not an answer, Darling.”
“Please.”
He lifts an eyebrow expectantly and you huff in frustration- looking away from him. One of his hands guides your eyes back to his and his thumb gently glides along your lower lip, coaxing a needy whimper from you.
You feel so embarrassed- trying to express what you need, but maybe he finds it enduring? Or at least you hope he does.
“Will you please make love to me, Astarion?”
Astarion’s face looks like the definition of happiness as he smiles down upon you- for a creature of the night, he sure is capable of beaming like the sun.
The offending article of clothing is removed and tossed somewhere across the living room as Astarion settles his face in between your legs.
“Well since you asked so nicely,” he says teasingly while nipping at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.
He takes his sweet time kissing and cleaning up the nectar that coats your legs, your growing need making you more and more impatient as you writhe under his touch. Astarion makes a point of avoiding your wanting heat- tears pricking your eyes as you become more and more overstimulated.
“You are so, so beautiful,” he breathes against your skin, “so beautiful and good.”
“Astarion, please.”
The desperation in your voice pulls a hum of pleasure from Astarion as he presses one more kiss on the inside of your thigh. You open your mouth to beg again- to ask for literally any contact- when you feel his cold tongue lick all the way up your folds, circling your sensitive clit, before latching his lips to the bundle of nerves.
You keen- loudly- at the sudden attention on your clit and Astarion has seemed to quickly find that perfect spot- teasing it with his tongue as your back arches and your hips press into his face.
Astarion’s fingers push your hips down, locking you in place against the couch, and you feel another shudder of arousal go through you when you think about the bruises that are bound to be on your hips in the morning.
Astarion’s expert tongue circles and teases at your clit- occasionally taking a detour to taste you, lapping up every part of your essence.
He feels like he’s starving as he devours you with his tongue- if he could have it his way, he would never stop.
You are so wet for him that the couch underneath you is soaked and your dress surely isn’t much better off. Your moans and whimpers cause his cock to strain painfully against the front of his pants.
He decides to kiss back up your body, ripping open the lacy fabric of your dress. The Gods must be real because it’s a damn miracle that you aren’t wearing a bra.
Thankfully you don’t seem to be too worried about the state of your dress.
Astarion greedily sucks one of your nipples between his teeth while the other is rolled between his thumb and index finger.
He wants to consume you and you want to be consumed.
Your fingers find purchase in his hair and you have his mouth on yours within seconds. His other hand returns to your now neglected breast. You cry out against his mouth with each pinch of his fingers and your pleasure has begun to soak through the front of his own pants. He’s certain he’s created his own mess anyway.
Admittedly, he’s been thinking about playing with your breasts all week. You loudly complained about how sore they felt since your moon blood was coming next week. Astarion has been thinking about every delicious way to massage the soreness away since.
His hips grind into your exposed cunt- snaking one of his hands inbetween the two of you, he begrudgingly replaces the pressure of his clothed cock by sliding a finger inside of you.
He adores how your back arches underneath him and the way his name falls off your lips like a prayer. Your heels are digging into his back and your head is thrown back as you keen with each movement of his finger. Astarion curls his fingers upward and focuses on the perfect spot- your toes curl with the sensation and your moans become higher in pitch.
The second one meets some resistance and he’s almost positive a third finger is going to be needed before you are ready, but you clench around his hips, grabbing his attention.
“Astarion- I need you inside me please,” you beg him.
Whatever resolve he had to make sure you were 100 percent ready has broken with that simple sentence. He’s pulling you up off the couch and into his arms- practically racing to throw you on the bed in his room.
To be entirely honest- Astarion can’t even remember if he was actually wearing any clothes considering how quickly he pulls them off.
Astarion has you laid across his bed- ready and wanting for him. You are positively exquisite.
Your shy eyes and body try to hide from him- your arms coming to cover your breasts and your eyes looking away from him. You are suddenly very aware of the lack of clothing and Astarion- well- he looks like an angel.
You drink in his silhouette while avoiding his eyes and you feel yourself clench around nothing at the sight of his cock- hard and dripping with precum because of you. You. The silly, awkward virgin that has never been in a relationship before.
Eager hands are entangling themselves with yours and Astarion’s suddenly on top of you again with your arms pinned away from your face.
“Look at me.”
The command sends a wave of desire through you- Astarion’s voice is thick with arousal and you forget to breathe when you finally look at him.
Astarion has been all sharp edges and mischief since you’ve met him, but right now?
His eyes are soft and inviting- akin to warm crimson bed sheets rather than blood weeping from a cut. Astarion’s lips are slightly parted as he tries to commit your face to memory. His usually perfect hair is mussed up from all the attention you’ve given it.
“I am certain the Gods have sent you to destroy me,” he murmurs in awe before pressing a kiss to your forehead, “tell me if I need to be more gentle, my Love.”
Astarion lines himself up with your entrance and you wrap your legs around his waist. He gently pushes himself inside of you, giving a little bit more every time until his hips are flush against yours. The further he goes, the more his train of thought disappears.
You feel wonderful and the whimpers that leave your mouth with every inch more he gives you makes him moan loudly into the crook of your neck. He kisses up and along your jaw, praising you for taking him so well.
You have never felt more full in your entire life- it feels
 right. Like your body has been made to fit with Astarion’s. The light rocking movement of his hips works to ease the initial discomfort of adjusting to his size, but you already feel like you need more. You want to be lost in this moment with him- you want to know and feel everything.
It’s as if he reads your mind as he pace begins to pick up, his thrusts begin to get longer and more drawn out. The tears that were initially pricking your eyes have disappeared entirely in favor of desperate, borderline embarrassing, wanting moans.
“You feel so incredible, Darling,” Astarion whines as thrusts into you, “you are being so good for me.”
His eyes meet yours and he slows his motions ever so slightly- your body protests at the loss of friction, but Astarion’s lips gently coaxing gasps from yours distracts your body from the lack of motion.
The world surrounding you feels absolutely nonexistent as Astarion kisses you deeply. One of his hands finds purchase in your hair and deepens the kiss even more. You feel as if you could float away from the onslaught of affection as you return his affections with equal fervor.
Astarion pulls himself almost entirely out of you before snapping his hips- rutting himself back into you. Your lips leave his, favoring a shape fit for a breathy cry of pleasure.
He finds your eyes again in the haze of his own euphoria. This is a dream to him- a wonderful, beautiful dream.
“I adore you,” you whisper against his lips.
Astarion smiles giddily.
“And I, you.”
Astarion loses his composure as he picks up his pace again- you clench around him, your already tight heat engulfing him even more with each movement of his hips. Your orgasm runs through you- your legs are shaking around him as your grip around his hips begins to give.
Astarion supports the lower half of your body, groping your ass as he chases his own little death.
“I need you to cum inside me, Astarion,” you say wistfully, “cum for me please.”
That’s all it takes to drive him over the edge entirely- no longer able to hold on anymore as his seed pours inside of you. Astarion buries his face in the crook of your neck as he let’s the feeling of pleasure wash over him.
You smell of sex and your favorite soap, which has coincidentally become his favorite soap, and he sighs happily when you start lazily tracing circles along his shoulders. You’ve done this for him before, in a more clothed setting, but it’s a thousand times better when he’s able to feel all of you against him.
Astarion can’t remember the last time he had sex with someone and felt like he was comfortable in their arms. Honestly, he’s more than comfortable with you and yes, that does terrify him.
He just had the best sexual experience of his life and yet he is still terrified because he doesn’t want you to leave or decide this is all he’s good for.
“Starry?”
He hums in response.
“Are you okay?” you ask in a whisper, “you got really tense just now.”
Astarion is quick to look at you when you ask that question. Your eyes are curious and your brow is furrowed. He really can’t hide anything from you. Astarion rolls over onto his back- not wanting you to see how scared and already heartbroken he is. He honestly isn’t sure what he would do if he stopped meaning anything to you- anything of value anyway.
“I
 I don’t want
,” he struggles to get the words out, “I- this has been probably the single best sexual escapade that I have ever had, my Love. My only hope is that
 you don’t only see me for, well, sex after tonight.”
He’s surprised when you crawl over to him, straddle him, and then put his face between your hands. The serious look in your eyes worries him- did he upset you? Offend you? Are you going to-
“I want you to throw that thought away right now and if you can’t- then I will assure you everyday before it goes away,” you say firmly, “I’ve fallen for you- all of you- over these several months. I think you are the smartest, most interesting, and funniest man I have ever met. I look forward to coming home to you and I hate leaving in the mornings.
“I
 you are all I have ever wanted out of a partner or even just a person, Astarion. I choose you- I choose you everyday- in whatever way you’ll have me.”
All Astarion does is cry in response. He doesn’t mean to and of course he wishes he would stop.
I’ve known you for 200 years. Haven’t I suffered enough?
I choose you- I choose you everyday.
You hold him while he cries and Astarion lets himself soak up the feeling of safety- truly believing it this time. You want him for him and you will never know how much that means, but Astarion always will.
When he’s done crying, he kisses you gently sitting you both up against the headboard with you still on his lap. Astarion runs circles into your thighs as you lay your head on his chest and his head rests against yours. You remain there together for a while before you finally break the silence.
“Do you want to talk about it Star?”
Astarion thinks for a moment.
“I- no,” he says hesitantly, “not right now- I just want to enjoy this moment with you, my Dear.”
You hum in response and then look around the room. Your eyes spot something that causes you to sport the cheekiest grin Astarion has ever seen.
“You didn’t finish your wine.”
He looks over and then back to you with an eyebrow raised.
“I suppose I did not. Why-“
“Never have I ever had sex with someone on their birthday.”
A pregnant pause envelopes the space between you- Astarion blinks at you a few times in astonishment and then reaches for the wine glass- a loving smile on his face.
He’s grateful- you never push him and you don’t force him to continue talking about difficult subjects once he’s calmed down. Perhaps he’s even more grateful that he may be able to spend a lifetime with you, if he plays his cards right. Gods, he hopes he plays his cards right. Astarion is not much of a planner after all.
“You’re lucky I adore you.”
“I know.”
205 notes · View notes
thisgirlnamedblusy · 3 months ago
Note
Hallo!!
may i ask for a little spronkle of fluff? Donna goes out to town to buy fabrics, the neewww (oh, wow!) cleric selling it to her, Reader, has almost the exact same scar on their face (except for it not being unnaturally deformed, -- reader got it from like, an encounter with a rabid animal, or something),
Donna gets curious and asks about it, leading to a casual conversation, which led to Donna wanting to come back and chat with the new hire, seeing as how, unbeknownst to Reader (because, obviously, Donna wears the veil, Reader wouldnt know she had the same mutation) they had something in common, their scarring
Make it so that Reader (very slowly) catches on ?? And they develop feelings overtime ?? But, doesnt know if 'big-lady-Donna' feels the same way, so they just.. shaddap? (i had to use that 'big-lady' reference, or it wouldve haunted me, forgive, forget)
Reader asks to see Donnas face (although, very nervously, because of, yknow, Angie staring down Readers soul, aswell as Donnas rank/title), Donna complies, although hesitantly, and Reader is just so entranced by how similar the size/placement/colour of their scarring is, that theyre just so hyped, and cant help to call Donna beautiful, to call her newly-revealed, singular eye 'enchanting' and whatnot (make Reader a nervous sap, i beg and i plead, i need this prompt to rot my teeth),
Donna gets fed up from how clueless Reader is to how much Donna appreciates them -- leading to, very reluctant, and/or peeved (take that as you will, im unsure how to topic Donnas nerves, tremors, mood-swings and whatnot) confession, coming from Donnas side. (Meaning: Donna confesses first, very awkwardly, and shyly, and Reader obviously accepts, because, .. They're girlfriends, your honor!)
Angie, meanwhile, is hurling in the background because of how cheesy, and forced, Donnas confession was, (although, secretely, Angie is over the moon that her Donsie made a new (girl)friend). Maybe add a little bit of like, restless, over-thinking rambling in Italian to that mix. (Ex: Donna just going over about how cool it is that they have matching scars, maybe Reader could come over to her estate and see her portrait without it. *Mumble mumble, something nervy in italian*, do you wanna come over? Do you wanna see my workshop? Do you wanna see my dolls? I can have one resemble you. Do you sew? We can make dolls -- *Mumble, trips over words, Italian*)
Make it from Donnas prospective, Please and thanks!!
No smut, just wholesome wholesomeness, and ofcourse, happy, diabetes-inducing ending, where Reader does agree to come and hang out with her -- make them Girlfriends with your writers-magic from that point on, because i have no idea what else to add to explain how overtime THEY FALL INLOVESIES!!! (AGHH! SUCH ROMANCE! THEYRE SO INLOVE!!!)
No mention of G!P or just, like, any arousal in general (since ive seen it mentioned on other posts, by other people, when asked for no smut, i just wanted to clarify)
hope i explained this okay?? Sometimes im pretty vague/too specific while typing and add too many '()'s and '/'s (overthinking autism brain -- HEY! LOOK! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!)
wish ya the best of luck, aswell as the best of day, may Angie bite your fingers (not really.. aha.. joking! Or am i?), Ciao, Blusy!
Yesss!!! Wow, it was a curious request! Thank you!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :))))
Two broken faces
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings:ÂĄ fluff, Donna being Donna, Donna's POV
Word count: 9,376
Summary: She's so simliar, but so different...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))
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I thought I had everything I needed.
I had my dolls, my books, the peace that solitude offers a woman like me
 Always afraid of people, always hiding, I found in my isolated world a peaceful place to live, for all eternity.
I didn't ask for this, I never asked the Black Gods to have mercy on my soul, I didn't ask Mother Miranda to adopt me, I never asked anyone for that second chance, I just wanted to die.
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if my family hadn't been noble, if my ancestors hadn't been part of the founding of this village. Maybe I would have had the chance to live in a different way or maybe my wish to disappear would have simply been fulfilled.
Donna Beneviento, a young woman who stopped fighting. Yes, surely they would put something similar on my grave. I would have become a legend, that woman who lost everything, who was cursed with an illness, who was condemned to watch how little by little, the world around me faded away behind that horrible waterfall.
But
 After all, after that mercy that I didn't ask for, the result wasn't very different. To think that I was no longer alone would be to deceive myself. Angie was already speaking before I insisted on giving her life with my new gifts. Angie was me, I was Angie.
Maybe she's still me, even if I don't realize it, maybe I’m not even a Lord, maybe I wasn't even alive anymore. It was hard to know. That position of power that the Gods granted me only served to make my horrible thoughts to take shape, to find in cruelty a way to relieve the pain of my soul, the rage I felt at having been unjustly deprived of a normal life.
Josef was the first, but not the last.
What was the fault of the man who took care of me after the death of my family? None. Why did I do it? Because I could.
I try to look in the mirror and not see that reflection, the reflection of my horrible appearance, of that punishment for the sins I didn’t commit, but I only see a monster, a monster on the outside, a monster on the inside.
Surely that was what Miranda expected of me: another terrifying being to keep the flock under control. I cannot deny that she succeeded. I myself became the fear, the terror.
That legend that I thought I would become by ending my life became a dark tale, a nightmare story, the story of the terrible doll maker, Donna Beneviento.
I could not say when she stopped mattering to me, I cannot even say that one day she stopped. Loneliness was my fear, until it became my refuge. You did not love me before, when I was just a girl with a scar, now that I am a monster your punishment would be to fear me.
None of that matters, not even my brothers, nor this cursed village. I only care about Angie, my dolls, those that do not judge, that do not laugh at me, that do not fear me, that do not feel anything. The flesh deceives, lies, harms, porcelain does not. Porcelain is malleable, it looks the way I want, it is beautiful, soft and does not hate me.
I wish I could have been a doll, I wish I could free myself from the hatred that was inside me

“Grigio,” I said in a whisper, while I was devoting my soul to making my dolls, to creating those emotionless beings that I envied.
Angie nodded, walking around the work table, looking for the fabric I asked for.
“Grey again, Donna?” the doll asked, in a mocking tone. I nodded without looking at her, finishing correcting the imperfections of that new companion.
“What's your problem with grey?” I asked, cleaning the smooth porcelain, with my gaze fixed on it, trying not to let Angie distract me, as she usually did.
“It's boring,” the doll said, handing me a too small piece of fabric, making me frown.
“It's not enough, I need much more,” I said focused, shaking my head. The doll shrugged, walking over to her new friend.
“There is no more grey fabric,” Angie mocked, hands on her hips.
I sighed, snapping out of my concentration, searching through the drawers. I would never trust Angie, I would never trust myself.
“There isn’t?” I asked confused, searching the workshop for the desired fabric. The doll growled angrily at my distrust, crossing her arms.
“I already told you, silly Donna,” she mocked, getting down from the table. I sighed, rubbing my eye. I had been in the workshop for hours, I couldn’t say how many.
“Angie
” I sighed tiredly, shaking my head and finally abandoning my dolls, walking through the dark basement hallway, through that comforting darkness. “I'm not in the mood for your nonsense.”
“Are you ever in the mood?” the puppet asked, with a mocking tone.
I didn't answer. I simply walked towards the phone, looking in a address book for the number of the village merchant, the Duke.
“Oh, oh, oh, ask the fat guy if he has yellow wool balls,” Angie said, tugging at my dress.
 I looked at her, unable to help but smile. Who it was didn't matter, my position as a Lord didn't matter, I was sure that, without Angie, I would have given up a long time ago.
“What do you want yellow wool balls for?” I asked amused, picking up the phone and dialing the number slowly, indicating to Angie that she should let herself be picked up. I still needed her to speak for me.
“I don't know, they're funny,” she commented, taking the phone while I lovingly put her old clothes on. “Hello, hello? Fatty?”
Nothing, no one seemed to answer.
“He doesn't pick up,” Angie whispered so I frowned, snatching the phone from her and checking she was telling the truth.
“Maybe he's not in the village,” I sighed, hanging up and shaking my head. “How convenient, I need that damn fabric.”
“He might be in his warehouse,” Angie commented, going back down to the floor. “Although I doubt he will fit through the door,” she mocked amused, making me smile again.
“What do we do now?” I asked, looking at the crumbling ceiling.
“Why don't we go to the village?” Angie suggested. “We can look for the Duke there.”
“No,” I said dryly, hardening my expression.
“Silly Donna... I want my wool balls!” the doll protested, in a childish way, irritating me again. “Let's go to the village, to the village!”
“Madonna
 I said no, Angie,” I snorted, in a brusque tone.
No, I didn't want to go to the village, I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to see fear in people's eyes, I didn't want to see it again.
“Silly, you stupid pasta thing,” the doll hissed. “Stupid Donna”
“Are you done yet?” I asked with irony, with a dangerous look. As expected, the doll shook her head.
“Donna, you coward, I want my wool balls!” she shrieked irritatingly again, making me lose my patience.
“Chuidi quella cazzo di bocca!” I shouted furiously, completely out of my mind, causing the puppet to flee in terror, hiding behind a table.
Once again, I had lost control for no reason. I would never be able to escape my sentence.
I tried to relax, to make the trembling in my body disappear. I breathed deeply, lowering my head.
“Perdonami, Angie
” I sighed in a calmer tone, walking slowly to the doll's hiding place. She, timidly, peeked out. “I shouldn't have yelled at you.”
“You're very tense,” the doll whispered. “You have to relax...”
“I know, forgive me, please,” I said with my voice broken by the rage of my behavior, extending my arms towards her, who timidly approached, letting me pick her up from the floor.
 “Of course I forgive you, silly,” the doll said, hugging me in a childish way, bringing the smile back to my face.
“Fine
 W-we'll go to the village to get the fabrics, what do you think?” I finally said, trying to compensate my only friend for having to put up with me day after day, for having to live
 With a monster.
“Yay!” the puppet celebrated as I carried her in my arms, leaving the comfort of that dark basement.
I never liked going out, feeling the cold on my body, feeling insecure, outside the safety of the cracked walls. Maybe no one had the misfortune of seeing my face, but my mere presence was already uncomfortable enough for anyone.
Just think about it, a woman in black clothes, with her face hidden by a black veil, a lifeless figure which comes walking slowly towards you. It was terrifying.
Luckily, there didn't seem to be many people in the village, it was a cold morning. I also didn't want to notice if there were eyes watching me, if there was a child trembling in its mother's arms when it saw me walking.
The Duke's warehouse wasn't far away, and I headed there as quickly as possible. My breathing was uncontrolled, my anxieties were already starting to make me too nervous. I wanted to go home.
“Duuuuke!” Angie called when we entered the cabin. “Duuuuke! Where are you?”
There didn't seem to be anyone there and we both looked at each other, shrugging our shoulders. Not wanting to wait for that vermin to appear, I approached the place where he kept the fabrics, looking for that desired grey tone my doll needed.
“What do you think, Angie?” I asked the puppet, who was curiously rummaging through the merchant's things, nodding disinterestedly. “Where are the grey ones...?”
“Hello,” an unknown voice startled me, a female voice that was not familiar to me.
From among the boxes, a girl appeared, a young girl with a splendid smile. I didn’t recognize her, I would remember that face. Near her left eye there was a horrible scar. I couldn’t help but bring my hand to my face when I found a similarity between that deformity and mine.
The girl shook her hands, with an elegant gesture, without that smile disappearing.
“Lady Beneviento,” she said softly, lowering her head. “Surely the Duke would spend the whole morning flattering your presence but I believe in naturalness, do you need something?”
“Where is the fatty? Who are you?” Angie asked, letting me pick her up again while pointing at that unknown girl.
“Oh, the Duke is on a business trip, or so he told me,” she said, amused, shaking her head. “But I'm sure I can help you, or try, at least.”
I looked at her curiously, unable to take my eyes off her scar, one that didn’t hide her beauty at all. I couldn't say why, but my cheeks began to blush.
I didn't say anything. I just looked at her confused, just like the doll did with me, waiting for me to react.
“Oh, sorry, I haven't introduced myself,” the girl said with an apologetic look, extending her hand towards me, a hand that seemed very soft
 “I'm (Y/N), the Duke hired me to be his assistant when he wasn't around. I manage the warehouse too.”
I hesitated for a moment. My instincts pushed me to reject that greeting, to ignore that smiling young woman, but, for some reason, I didn't. I slowly extended my hand towards hers, shaking it briefly, feeling for myself that I wasn't wrong, her skin was very soft, warm.
“It’s, it's a pleasure to meet you too,” she joked, confused by my shy greeting, with a natural, beautiful smile... “I never thought I'd have the honor of having one of you here.”
“Shut up, you stupid village girl! We've come for...” Angie said, interrupted by a sudden movement of my arms, letting her fall to the floor. “Hey!”
“I ne-ne-need fabrics,” I whispered with a hoarse, timid, barely audible voice. The girl frowned, coming a little closer to me.
“Excuse me, but I didn't hear you,” she said amused but with a kind look.
“Fabrics, stupid! Fabrics!” Angie shrieked, startling the young woman, who, surprisingly, kept her composure masterfully.
“Oh, fabrics, of course,” (Y/N) said, nodding and passing by me, letting me get a closer look at that scar so similar to mine, one that had me quite interested. “If you would be so kind as to come with me
”
I nodded slowly, following the young assistant through the warehouse.
“Are you looking for something in particular?” she asked naturally, rummaging through a pile of fabrics.
“G-Grey fabric
” I murmured, clearing my throat, with Angie looking at me strangely. I couldn't blame her for it, I was very nervous.
“Grey
” (Y/N) commented, searching with her eyes. “Oh, yes, here,” she said amused, pointing at several fabrics of that same color.
“Wool balls, we want wool balls,” Angie said with a haughty tone while I touched those fabrics with curiosity, unable to avoid looking at that girl out of the corner of my eye.
“Wool balls?” she asked confused, scratching her head. “Mm, yes, this way,” she said, gesturing for the puppet to follow her.
I paused for a moment to look at her again, my heart beating fast and my eye unable to stop studying each of her movements. She was a really beautiful young woman, who surely hid some terrible story, maybe one as horrible as mine, maybe
 Oh, I didn’t know why I was thinking about it.
“Do you see anything you like?” she asked me when finished attending to Angie, getting closer to me, maybe too close, allowing me to look at her more closely again.
“Um, yes
 I
” I stammered nervously, clearing my throat again and pointing at a random roll of fabric. Luckily, it was a grey one.
“This one? Good
” the young woman commented, taking the roll and heading to a small counter. “How much do you want?”
“No, I
 I’ll take the entire roll,” I said, nodding, putting my hands together in front of my body, playing with them discreetly to try to stop shaking.
“The entire roll?” (Y/N) asked, frowning. The Duke never questioned me, why did she?
“Is there a problem, silly?” Angie asked mockingly, comically wrapped in a wool ball.
“No, there’s no problem but
 I don’t know if you can handle it, it’s quite heavy,” the girl said amused, leaning on the counter and looking at that large roll of fabric. “I mean, I’m not saying you can’t
 I mean, I
”
I laughed at that shy side, that nervous side my presence provoked in her. Normally I would have groaned or sighed at the sight of her body trembling, but on that occasion, I didn't. Even when she was nervous, she couldn't lose that bright smile.
“Calm down, I know what you mean,” I said in a different tone, louder and noticeable, as if my own voice was eager to talk to her.
“Uff, okay...” she sighed, running a hand over her forehead in a playful way. “Sorry, my lady, I'm not used to dealing with... Lords, you know.”
I laughed again, shaking my head. I could feel Angie's eyes looking at me inquisitively, but I didn't pay attention to them. Not wanting to look stupid, I took out a bag of coins, leaving them on the counter. (Y/N) picked them up, writing something down in a notebook.
“Fine...” the girl murmured, leaving the pen on top of the notebook. “Do you need anything else, my lady?” she asked kindly.
I shook my head, turning to leave, picking up my doll again, who was still staring at me.
“No, thank you,” I muttered before walking out the door. Something, something made me stop and turn around. “Uh, actually, I do.”
“Mm?” (Y/N) hummed, with that same kind smile, following me with her gaze as I approached the counter again.
“I don't remember seeing you before,” I said with a dry voice, with an indifferent tone. I didn't want to show her how nervous I was, besides, I didn't even know why I was that nervous.
“I'm elusive,” she answered amused, leaning on the counter in a casual manner. “But the truth is that I've been here all my life.”
“Working for the fat guy?” Angie asked, with a curious tone, shifting in my arms.
“No, no,” (Y/N) said, shaking her head, laughing amused. “I mean, I've been in the village all my life.”
“Really? It's funny, you don't sound familiar to me,” I commented, with a slightly dark tone, analyzing her expressions. The girl shrugged, as if it wasn't the most comfortable question for her.
“Well... I'm not very fond of masses...” she murmured in a cautious tone. “Don't get me wrong, I adore Mother Miranda, and you, and of course I pray to the Black Gods every day and...”
“Mmm
” Angie got out of my arms, walking along the counter until she was very close to her. “She's lying.”
“What? Oh, no, no, I’m not,” the assistant said, now a little more scared. “No, my lady, no, I'm not lying.”
“I don't care if you are, (Y/N),” I commented, moving the doll away from her, laughing shyly again. “I'm not judging you.”
“Oh, okay
” the girl sighed, with an exaggerated gesture of relief. “Well, to be honest, I've never had a particular interest in
 All that stuff about the Gods.”
I nodded nervously, wanting to ask a thousand questions, without knowing why, without knowing what exactly was keeping me in that warehouse.
“But, but I go to masses,” she said with a more relaxed tone, pretending sincerity. “Um
 Um
Do you want
 Do you want something else?”
“No,” I answered abruptly, turning around again and walking towards the door.
When I arrived, I realized that my legs weren't moving, that my head wanted to turn towards that girl again. My behavior was strange, but I couldn't help it.
“Yes,” I said, entering again, causing her to laugh amusedly and look at me in amazement, probably because of my pathetic attitude. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Lycans,” she answered, relaxing her expression. I frowned and shook my head, confused.
“Cosa?”
“My scar, I know you were going to ask me about it,” she said with a relaxed tone, pretending to read the notes in that account book.
“No, I
” I stammered, embarrassed to know that it was really what I wanted to know, what had caught my attention.
“Don’t worry, my lady, nothing is wrong. I’m not ashamed of it,” she said with a sincere look, one that made me see that her left eye had a slightly whiter tone, as if it had no life.
That was how I was like when I was a child, when everyone laughed at me.
“What
? What happened to you?” I asked in a cautious, strangely curious tone.
“When I was 10 I made the stupid mistake of going into the forest at dusk, you know, I wanted to be the bravest girl and blah blah blah
” (Y/N) commented casually, gesturing with her hands. I nodded for her to continue. “How was I supposed to know that there were lycans in the woods? It seems unlikely in a place like this, right? Um, sorry, it was, it was a joke.”
“Uh-huh,” I whispered, frowning. “A joke?”
“Yeah, well
 I've learned that, in order to be happy, you must learn to laugh at yourself,” (Y/N) explained, with a smile adorning her beauty again.
“Do you find that some lycans hurt you funny? You could have died,” I said annoyed by that attitude. No, that wasn't funny, it couldn't be.
“I know, but
 Here I’m,” she said sighing, spreading her arms in a playful way. “I lost the vision of my left eye, but
 I'm still alive, and that's the important thing.”
“You seem like a very optimistic girl,” I commented, with an amused laugh, inadvertently getting a little closer to her.
“Mm, well, it can't be any other way,” the girl said in a relaxed tone, tilting her head.
“It must have
 It must have been
 difficult for you, you know
” I said stuttering, raising my hand to discreetly point out the deformity of her face. “Children can be very cruel.”
“Oh, not at all,” she said with a wider smile, shaking her head. “There hasn't been anyone brave enough to mess with me.”
I laughed again, incredulous at that attitude, one so different from mine. So similar and so different at the same time
 Like the two sides of the same coin.
“Why you say so?” I asked curiously, with Angie starting to get impatient, tugging at my dress probably wanting to go back home.
“Because if they did
 Well, they were very likely to go home with a black eye,” she whispered in a lower voice, as if she wanted to tell me a secret. “You know what they say: an eye for an eye, right?”
She was a mysterious girl, one who, with every thing she said, brought a soft laugh to my lips. It had been a long time since I laughed so many times, that the smile refused to leave my face.
“Um, I
” I murmured after a moment of awkward silence, holding Angie's hands, which pulled at my dress harder and harder. “I'll leave you alone, I've already stolen too much of your time.”
“You can steal all the time you want, my lady, as you see, there's no one around here,” the merchant said amused, looking around.
“Um, yes, well, I
 I'm, I'm leaving, th-thanks,” I stammered, closing my eye because of my pathetic stammering, ready this time to really leave, to control my desire to stay and chat with that girl.
“Wait,” she said, leaving me pinned to the ground, walking out the counter. “Wait, I
”
“Mm?”
“Um, hey, you're not as scary as they say,” (Y/N) said nervously, biting her lip to contain her words, words that, apparently, came out of her mouth on their own. “I mean, I, I liked meeting you, Lady Beneviento.”
“Oh, I
” I stammered, struggling between joy and anger. I couldn't blame her for fearing me, everyone did and everyone would, forever. “Me
 Me too, (Y/N)
”
It could have been just another day, but it wasn't. Meeting (Y/N) made me start to smile. It didn't matter what I was doing: cooking, reading, working with my dolls... The beauty of her face was always present in my thoughts.
Chance is a capricious God, one that made me suddenly find myself with my distorted reflection. Yes, a scar identical to the one I had as a child, a face deformed by misfortune, just like me.
But, even though we had that in common, we were very different. (Y/N) was cheerful, outgoing and didn't let anyone make fun of her. I was the opposite, like an evil double, like the negative of a photograph. It might seem silly, but, as the days went by, that urge to want to go back to the warehouse became more and more intense.
Sewing in my workshop, as always, I searched in my head for a logical explanation for my sudden interest in that young woman, like every time I did, without finding an answer.
“Angie,” I said, frowning, looking at the old sewing machine. The doll, having fun with her new wool balls, walked towards me comically getting tangled in the yellow thread.
“I hope it's not something to do with the girl from the warehouse,” the puppet hissed. Poor thing, she was sick of hearing me talk about her.
“No, no,” I said with a look that gave away my lie. “Look,” I helped the doll to get on my lap while pointing at the old machine.
“What's wrong?” she asked, looking at the machine and then at me, confused.
“Don't you see it?” I asked with a frown, picking up a piece of freshly sewn fabric. “Look at these seams, they're not right.”
“They’re just like always,” the doll commented, playing with the piece of fabric in her hands.
“No, no, not at all,” I said, shaking my head again, blinking, giving away my lie. “There's something wrong with the machine.”
“Do you know what's wrong? Your brain,” the doll mocked, causing me to grunt. “There's nothing wrong with the machine, Donna.”
“I'm telling you, it's broken,” I insisted, pretending to look for the fault that old machine didn't have. “I think there's something stuck
 I should take it to (Y/N). Maybe she can take a look at it.”
“Oh, of course, of course
” the doll sighed, moving her arms in an exaggerated way. “You just want to see her again.”
“No, I
 Non ù vero
” I muttered, stumbling over my words. “It's, it's the machine
”
“There's nothing wrong with the machine, silly Donna, stop making stupid excuses. If you want to see (Y/N), why don't you just go?” Angie said, putting a wooden finger on my nose, which I wrinkled in displeasure, determined to deny the evidence.
“It’s not about that, Angie,” I protested, pounding my fists on the table but relaxing instantly. “I want her to take a look at it.”
“A look?” the doll scolded me. “Oh, yes, what a great idea
 What are you going to tell her when she realizes that the machine is perfectly fine?”
I tried to fight back, but I couldn’t. I huffed angrily, gritting my teeth. Angie was right. My legs trembled nervously as my gaze wandered to the old machine. I didn’t even think about it.
With a quick gesture, I pushed the sewing machine to the floor, crashing against it with a dull sound, indicating that something had broken. It was a pathetic, almost desperate plan. I still didn’t know what I was doing, why I was doing it, or rather, I didn’t want to know.
“Silly Donna! Nonna’s machine!” Angie shrieked, getting down to the floor to check the condition of the machine. I remained serious, but I adopted a haughty pose.
“What do you say now? Diamo un’occhiata?” I asked mockingly, bending down to pick up the broken machine from the floor, ignoring the insults and protests of the doll.
It was too easy for me to put the veil back on and leave my house. I had a fixed destination. I had her beauty waiting for me. I think I was starting to get too nervous. Breaking my grandmother’s machine so I could see that girl
 It sounded crazy, but I didn’t want to think about it.
“Oh, my lady, what a surprise,” (Y/N) said, coming down a ladder, with a, as always, beautiful smile. “The Duke has already returned from his trip, he should have brought you the fabrics.”
“Yes, I
” I murmured nervously, holding the box under Angie’s fierce gaze. “I wanted, I wanted to see you.”
“Me?” the girl asked, approaching curiously, brushing the dust off her dress.
I could only nod, leaving the box on the counter.
“I thought you could help me with this,” I muttered, with a broken voice, much more nervous than in our first meeting.
“Wow
” the young woman commented, taking the broken machine out of the box, observing every detail. “A Singer 66k, from 1917
 What happened to it? It's in pieces
”
“Angie threw it,” I lied cowardly, earning a furious gasp from the doll.
“What are you talking about?!” the doll shrieked unpleasantly. “Liar, Donna liar, Donna
!”
I silenced the puppet with a subtle movement of my hands, making it stop screaming and move away, unable to stop it from glaring at me as it did so.
“Oh, that was a nasty fall
” (Y/N) joked, studying the machine. “It's a shame, it's a beauty.”
“C-Can you fix it?” I asked timidly, starting to regret what I had done. Her smile showed me that I shouldn't do it.
“Mm, I think so,” she said nodding, moving the machine to a small table with tools. I followed closely, watching her curiously. “Let's see
”
“I can, I can leave you alone if you are more comfortable,” I murmured when she started working, checking the pieces with a frown. She stopped and looked at me, shaking her head, with that wonderful smile

“Oh, no, well
 It's good to have some company, besides, that way I can prove that I'm not scamming you,” the assistant said amused, carefully unscrewing the machine.
“I trust you,” I said without thinking, playing with my hands again, trying not to look at her face, not to notice that scar that told me we had something in common, even if she couldn't know it.
“You must be the only one,” she commented sighing, searching for something in a box of spare parts. I tilted my head curiously. “Normally the people of this village are quite distrustful
 I can't blame them, my boss is not exactly a
 reliable man
” she said smiling, making the gesture of quotation marks with her fingers.
“You are not like him,” I said, stating a truth of which I was completely sure.
“Mm no, I hope so,” the girl joked amused, struggling with the machine. “Okay
”
Silence reigned again in the warehouse. She worked on the machine with surprising skill while I watched her, memorizing each of her movements. If she had noticed how I looked at her
 Well, she would surely be terribly uncomfortable.
“So
 Do you use this machine to you make clothes for your dolls?” (Y/N) asked, taking me out of my thoughts. “Y-you made dolls, right?”
“Cosa?” I said distractedly, thinking about her past, about how she had to live through that attack, about her courage when facing mockery and offensive comments, how did she do it? “Oh, I
 Yes, yes of course
”
She smiled, nodding, without stopping working.
“You know? You can tell the quality of a handmade product
” she commented distractedly. “I mean, there are modern machines now but
 If you ask me, I prefer the old ones, like this beauty”
“Y-Yes, I
 I think the same,” I said with a smile that she couldn't see, luckily.
“I think
 I think it's done,” she said, moving the crank to check that it worked correctly. “Just like new.”
I didn't expect it to end so quickly. I got nervous, like every time something didn't turn out the way I had thought.
“You are
 You are skilled,” I flattered her, taking the machine and checking that, indeed, it was already fixed.
She shrugged, with an amused smile.
“There had to be something good about me, right?” she joked, getting up from the table and passing by me, allowing me to look even more at her beauty.
“Uh
 Tell me how much I owe you,” I said, putting the machine back in the box, searching in my head for an absurd excuse to stay a little longer, just a little longer

“Oh, nothing,” she said, looking at me amused, shaking her head. “It’s not necessary.”
“W-Wait, I have, I have to pay you,” I said, with my hands starting to sweat again. You relaxed your expression, sighing and shaking your head again.
“No, that it’s not necessary,” the girl said with a confused smile, surely due to the trembling of my body. “I’m happy to help you, my lady.”
“No, don't be condescending to me for who I am, I beg you to let me pay you,” I insisted with a darker, almost angry voice. Her smile was worth more than all the gold in the world...
“I'm not condescending, I'm just doing you a favor, I like you,” she murmured, frowning, as if she was trying to meet my gaze.
I pointed at myself in surprise. The words refused to come out of my mouth.
“Do you... do you like me?” I asked stammering, puzzled by that phrase, one that couldn't be true.
“Yes, you're kind,” she said, looking away. “It's not something that's especially common in this place.”
“Oh, well, I... I...” I said nervously, having the imperative need to run out of there to hide my embarrassment, the invisible blush on my cheeks. “Grazie, (Y/N)
”
“Prego,” (Y/N) said, with a wider smile, as if she knew the reaction that hearing her speak that way would provoke in my body, paralyzing it completely.
“D-Do you know Italian?” I asked curiously, with my voice shaking at the same time as my body. She laughed amused, with a clueless expression.
“Nope,” she whispered in an ironic tone. “I know the basics.”
“Oh, of course
” I said, even more nervous, looking for Angie with my gaze. “I
 I'm, I'm leaving now and
 Well, we'll see each other, and
”
“Whenever you want,” (Y/N) said, sitting on the counter casually, swinging her legs and picking up what looked like a cup of coffee. “Um, my lady,” she said suddenly, when I had already turned around. My blood froze again. “I hope your doll doesn't break any more things.”
“Hey!” Angie protested, rummaging through the counter. “Shut up, you idiot!”
“Angie
” I sighed, gesturing with my head so the puppet would stop stirring everything up.
“She seems to be funny,” (Y/N) commented, looking curiously at Angie.
“Yes
 W-Well
 She's
 I don't know how to describe her
” I said, more and more nervous. “I guess she's one of a kind.”
“I see, she's like you then,” the girl said in a low tone, one that betrayed nervousness. The doll was making her nervous.
“Angie, basta,” I growled at the puppet, who was staring indiscreetly at the cup of coffee.
“Do you like coffee?” the saleswoman asked in a kind tone, looking at Angie, letting me see her beautiful, damaged face. It was so similar to mine

“I don't know,” Angie said, in a petulant tone. “What I know is that calling this thing coffee is blasphemy, how disgusting.”
“Angie
” I protested, losing my nerves, kicking the floor pathetically.
“Hey, it's not that bad, is it?” (Y/N) asked, bringing the cup to her lips and making a face of disgust. “Well, maybe it is.”
“Don't mind her, (Y/N)
” I sighed, noticing how the sweat ran down my forehead, how my nerves kept increasing. “Angie, dai!”
“Don't be mad at her, my lady, she's right,” (Y/N) said, pouring another coffee into a different cup. “Maybe you can give me your opinion
 You, you Italians are good with coffee, aren't you?”
“Me?” I asked, leaving the box on the counter, timidly reaching out my hand for the cup she offered me. “W-Well, I wouldn't know how to answer that
 Actually my, my family was Italian, I
 I was born here.”
“Well, but I'm sure you have better taste than me,” the girl commented, leaning on the table, frowning suddenly. “Oh, it's not mandatory, I'm sure you have a lot of things to do instead of wasting time with me.”
“Not really,” I whispered, breathing heavily at her apparent nervousness. Not wanting to think, not wanting to feel the things I felt when looking at her, I brought that steaming coffee to my lips, moving my veil aside.
(Y/N) looked away, not wanting to be indiscreet, respecting my decision, but fighting with herself to do so. I could see her confused face, her desire to look at me.
The bitter taste filled my throat. It was really horrible, I hate having to agree with Angie.
“How is it?” the young woman asked, with a fearful look. I shook my head, pushing the disgusting coffee away from my sight and smell.
“È orribile
” I murmured, trying to sound amused. I never knew how to do it.
“I thought so
” the girl sighed, making a face of disgust at that cup. “No matter how hard I try, I can't handle that thing,” she said amused, pointing to an old coffee maker.
“Do you want me to show you how to do it?” I asked without thinking, I asked without wanting to, without being able to help it. She looked at me curiously, then at the coffee maker, and finally at me again, nodding with a shy smile.
“Well, it's not necessary,” she murmured, scratching the back of her neck, downplaying it.
“Please, consider it
 A favor,” I said, mysteriously sure of myself. “Because, because of the machine.”
“Mm, well, okay,” she said quickly, gesturing for me to follow her.
As calmly as I could, I taught the young woman how to make a real coffee and how to handle that coffee maker properly. She listened to me attentively, looking at me from time to time and writing down my advice in a notebook.
She was so close to me, her bright eyes were so close to mine
 I don't know at what moment I was stuck in her gaze, in her almost perfect face, no, no, in her perfect face.
“It smells so good
” she commented, inhaling the intense aroma of coffee, closing her eyes, granting me the blessing of contemplating her relaxed face, her tender gaze. “I was definitely doing everything wrong.”
I laughed shyly, pouring some coffee into a cup, offering it to her kindly, praying that she wouldn't notice my shaking hands.
“Try not to fill it with too much water,” I said with a serious tone, pretending disinterest while she tasted my creation, with a look of satisfaction. “Always pay attention to the valve.”
“Yes, this is wonderful
” (Y/N) sighed. “Oh, sure, um
 Let me pour you one cup.”
“I
 Okay
” I stammered, accepting the offer to sit next to her in a couple of chairs.
Without having thought about it, we were together, enjoying a quiet coffee.
I couldn't remember when I felt so calm, so relaxed and at the same time, so nervous, with my heart beating too fast. I guess it was the coffee

“And then I told him: I don't need to see with both eyes to notice that you're a complete idiot,” (Y/N) said, chatting with me in a friendly way, as if she had known me all my life. I wish it were like that.
“Did you tell him that?” I asked amused, unable to stop smiling. She nodded with a serious look.
“He wanted to go on a date with me to give me a chance, can you believe it? A chance, as if I couldn't choose...” she asked ironically, shaking her head.
I didn't answer, I just listened attentively. Her anecdotes were funny, but hearing them through her lips... That was out of this world.
“Bah, I don't need a stupid boy to tell me nice things... I know he would only do it out of pity,” she said with a slightly sadder tone.
“Mm,” I murmured, playing with my hands in my lap.
“Every morning I look at myself in the mirror and think: what would my life be like if I didn't have this thing on my face?” she commented distractedly again, stirring her coffee with her spoon erratically. “I always come to the same conclusion: Here I am, this is me, and if you don't like it, fuck you... Oh, I mean, sorry... Go to hell?”
I laughed again, a bit sadly. I saw so many things about myself in her, things she didn't consider a problem. She was brave, I was a coward.
“I wish I could think the same way,” I murmured with a broken voice, attracting her attention, drawing a confused look towards me.
“Why do you say so?” she asked in a different tone, with a more discreet smile, with the glint of caution in her eyes.
I suppressed a sob. (Y/N)'s attitude was admirable, enviable. I was never able to accept reality, to look at myself in the mirror in the same way. I was a monster, and she wasn't.
“Forget it, it's nonsense,” I sighed, getting up, wanting to go home, wanting to cry for being unable to recognize the meaning of my heartbeat, wanting to scream, to curse the Black Gods for being unfair to me.
“Oh, have I, have I said something wrong, my lady?” (Y/N) asked, suddenly standing up, putting a hand on my wrist, making my whole body shudder.
“No,” I said in a cold tone, moving away from her grip, perhaps too abruptly. “Dai, Angie,” I whispered to my doll, who was playing with the junk in that warehouse.
“W-Wait, I'm, I'm sorry,” the girl said, stopping me from continuing, standing in front of me with a pleading look.
“Why are you sorry?” I asked, with an involuntary resentment in my voice.
“Well, I, I didn't want to offend you
 If I’ve said something I shouldn't have
 Oh, of course, it's because of the: fuck you
 I don't usually swear, really
 Not always
” the young woman stammered nervously, with her gaze traveling everywhere, unable to focus on mine.
“You haven't offended me,” I said, trying to sound softer so my demons wouldn't overwhelm me again, not at that moment, not with her. “I have to go.”
“Sure, I
” she stammered, helping me to pick up the box again, with a fake smile. “Um, if you're not mad at me
 Maybe you'd like to come tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, surprised by that offer.
“Yes, you know, I, I'd like you to check if I've learned anything about coffee,” she said nervously, with a strange blush on her cheeks.
“Do you want me to come here tomorrow?” I asked again, unable to believe her words.
“Yes, well
 Yes, if you want,” she whispered, biting her lip and looking away.
“Mm, maybe I will,” I murmured, smiling, taking advantage of the fact she couldn't see me, my smile was hidden from her, as my monstrous face was.
That was the beginning, just the beginning of my constant visits to that old warehouse.
Funny conversations, exploits and experiences of (Y/N)
 Any reason was good to hear her voice, to look at her beauty under the aroma of coffee. I could no longer deny myself my feelings. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, every minute, every second.
“Donna and (Y/N) under a tree 
” Angie sang, jumping around while I, like every day, walked towards the village. I growled angrily at the doll, wishing she would shut up.
“Angie, per favore
” I sighed, shaking my head. “Don’t, don't talk that loud
”
“Oh, come on, there's no one here,” the puppet protested. “Besides, you're offended because you would like to be with (Y/N) under a tree.”
“Yes, it's true,” I said with a murmur, taking the doll in my arms so she wouldn't entertain me any longer. “(Y/N) is wonderful, don't you think?”
“(Y/N) is wonderful, beautiful, good, kind, fantastic, the best
 Yes, yes, you've been repeating it constantly for weeks,” the doll mocked.
I smiled embarrassed.
“I've never felt this way about anyone,” I sighed, walking slower. “Angie, I'm
 I'm in love with (Y/N)
”
“I know!” she complained, crossing her arms. “You're so annoying, Donna
”
“I'm not annoying, I'm talking about my feelings,” I said with a frown. “Hey, do you think, do you think she
?”
“Oh, no, no
 Don't try to make me believe that I'm a fortune teller or something, I've already told you that I don't know if she feels the same. I can't read minds,” Angie said, shaking her head.
“But you're always with us,” I said, stopping before crossing the door. “Maybe, maybe you saw something that
”
“Oh, yeah
 She doesn't take her eye off you,” the doll mocked with an evil laugh. “You get it? her eye.”
“Cazzo
 I'm serious,” I said with a stern tone, starting to breathe hard.
“Me too,” Angie said, defensively.
I sighed, frustrated for not knowing, for not being able to read her thoughts, to decipher her smiles, to know if in any of them, she expressed something else than friendship

“Oh, but that's not what I'm looking for,” the voice of an unknown woman made me stop in front of the warehouse door. (Y/N) was not alone.
“Who is that witch?” Angie asked, peeking through the door. I covered her mouth, hiding behind a wall.
“Mrs. Gravic
” (Y/N) sighed with a tired voice. “If you would be so kind as to tell me what you are looking for
”
“How rude, girl,” the woman protested, with a tone that made me burn with rage. “I don't know why the Duke hired you
”
“Donna
 What do you think?” Angie whispered, rubbing her hands in a playful manner. I nodded, concentrating and gently reaching out my hand towards that unpleasant woman.
“Let's see
 What do you say about this?” (Y/N) said, leaving something on the counter, something I couldn't see.
“Mm
 Well, it could be that
 Oh, Black Gods
 Grandpa Igor
” the woman sighed and I smiled in satisfaction.
“Excuse me?” the girl asked, confused.
“Oh, I didn't mean to steal Grandma's jewels, don't chase me, leave me alone
 No!” the woman screamed, running out of the warehouse in horror.
I nodded to the doll, high-fiving her. Mission accomplished.
“Hey, Mrs. Gravic?” (Y/N) said, looking at her confused, smiling when she saw me walk through the door. “Oh, Donna.”
“Ciao, (Y/N),” I said with the tone I always used for her, a calm one, increasingly sweeter, increasingly obvious.
“You came early today,” she commented, closing the door, like every time we were together, as if she wanted to save that moment just for the two of us. I shouldn't mistake that kindness, but at the same time, I couldn't help but do so.
“Well
” I said disinterestedly, leaving Angie on the floor, sitting on my usual chair. “I hadn’t anything better to do
 I mean
 Ugh
”
She laughed amused, shyly looking away, pouring the usual coffee.
It seemed like any other conversation. My words lost their fear. They became bold, even funny. All conversations developed the same way, all except that one.
“Um, forgive me for asking you but
” (Y/N) murmured, with a serious, different tone, with a look far from usual. “You probably think I'm stupid or
 Well, that I'm butting in where I shouldn't but
 I'm, I'm curious.”
“What are you curious about?” I asked, confused by her different attitude, by the fear I began to see in her hands.
“That,” she said with a sigh pointing at my covered face, one to which I brought my hand, with my breath frozen, lacking air.
 No, not that, my love

“Um
 What?” I asked nervously, diverting the conversation, saying with my gestures that this was the wrong path, that it would only bring her problems.
 “Well, you know, your veil
 Why
? Why are you wearing it?” she asked again, her voice increasingly blurred by nervousness.
“Hey! Don't dare to say that to my Donna!” Angie shouted, staring at her, as if she was trying to do me a favor by deciphering her expressions.
“I
” I muttered. My hand was shaking so much that I dropped the coffee cup, breaking it into a thousand pieces on the floor. “Oh, porca miseria!”
“No, it's okay!” she exclaimed, putting her hands in front of her body. “It, it was my fault, I shouldn't have asked that
 I, I
 I'm, I'm sorry, shit, oh, no, no, I mean, dammit! I'll go to get a broom.”
I stood up, looking at the mess beneath me, nervous, seeking Angie's comfort, one that always brought me back to my senses. I couldn't find her, but I made a decision, the last decision, one last act of stupid bravery.
“Wait,” I said in a whisper, grabbing (Y/N) by the wrist as she swept the floor. “Wait, (Y/N)...”
She looked at me scared, guided by the movement of my hand, which forced her to keep her eyes on mine. Slowly, letting her go, I brought my hand to the black fabric, removing it from my face, revealing my deformed face to her.
Neither of us said anything. (Y/N) blinked in confusion, staring at me, getting a little closer, squinting, mouth agape. I looked away, suppressing my desire to put the veil back on, to run away and never come back.
“Wow...” she sighed, reaching out her hand to my face. I breathed nervously, holding her wrist tightly so it wouldn't reach its destination. I was about to lose my mind, in front of the love of my life
 “Donna, wait, let me do it, please.”
I closed my already wet eye, holding back my tears, letting the softness of her hand caress my horrible scar, touch my hair with a rapt look.
“It's, it's incredible...” she murmured again, without stopping caressing me while I, nervous, unable to move, let that tear run down my cheek.
(Y/N) took her hand away, bringing it to her own scar, shaking her head. I couldn't speak, I couldn't even move.
“Donna, you are, you are... You are such a beautiful woman...” she said, smiling in a nervous but sincere way, illuminating me with the light of her beauty, returning her hand to my deformity, as if she herself were as nervous as I was.
“What are you talking about?” I said with great effort, almost furious, clenching my teeth. “N-N-non mi mentire
”
“I'm not lying
” she sighed, touching her own scar again, with a look of astonishment. “Wow, it's
 Incredible
 We have almost the same scar
 Wow
 Forgive me, it's just
 What a coincidence, isn't it?”
“No, you're beautiful and I'm horrible,” I said sobbing, not believing her words, not even for a second.
“Oh, you must be joking,” (Y/N) said in a calmer tone, almost amused. “You have
 You have a beautiful face
 And well, what about that eye? It's, it's the most beautiful eye I've ever seen in my entire life.”
“What? Have you gone crazy?” I asked nervously, letting the veil fall to the floor. “Are you laughing at me?”
“Do you really think I'm laughing at you? Really?” she joked, pointing out her defect with a smug pose. I shook my head, trying to control my thoughts. “No, Donna, I'm telling you, I'm telling you the truth
 Wait, what did you say?”
“Mm?” I muttered confused, running my hand through my hair, feeling unable to handle the situation any longer.
“That, that thing you said before
” she said, gesturing with her hand, accidentally stepping on the remains of that cup. “You know, that I'm
”
“You're beautiful,” I said with my head down, clenching my fists tightly.
“Mm, and how do I know you're not lying to me? You're my friend, there's no need to be accommodating,” she joked with an amused face, completely ignoring my subtle statement.
“Friend? Are you stupid?” Angie asked. “Donna, please
 Tell her now.”
“Tell me what?” (Y/N) asked, curious. I cursed my doll. I was becoming more and more nervous.
“I don't know what she's talking about,” I stammered, having to stop my legs from running away right then and there.
“Hey, you can tell me anything, Donna
” the girl said, whispering in a tender voice, lowering her hands to mine, caressing them in a way that I thought was friendly, that I didn't think was romantic. “Really
”
“No, I
” I said, blinking nervously.
“Is there something worrying you?” she asked again, getting closer to me. “Come on, you can trust me.”
“(Y/N), I
” I stammered again, becoming almost hysterical as I looked at her peaceful gaze.
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it was so difficult for her to understand my feelings. I had taken a definitive step, I couldn't go back. I couldn't turn back now that I had come that far.
“Cazzo! I, I like you, (Y/N)!” I squealed disproportionately, making her widen her eyes and frown.
“Oh, is that it?” she said, still smiling, not getting the not-so-indirect hint. “Oh, Donna, I like you too.”
“Angie’s right,” I hissed angrily, shaking my head. “Are you stupid? I’m telling that I like you, damn it!”
Her face immediately changed to a confused look. I growled again, kicking the chair roughly.
“What do you mean?” she asked again. I froze, turning to her slowly and dangerously. A thunderous laugh filled the warehouse. Angie seemed to be enjoying that.
“Porca puttana!” I squealed again, kicking the floor in rage. “I love you, (Y/N)! I’m fucking in love with you! I can't stop thinking about you day and night, counting the hours until I can see you again! I love you, ti amo! You're the woman of my life!” I squealed abruptly, making her blink comically.
“Oh
” she sighed, with an amused look.
“Is it clear now? Or do you need me to write it down for you?” I said, losing control of my emotions.
(Y/N) shook her head, but didn't say anything, so I growled furiously again, grabbing the notebook from the counter.
“I
Love
You. That's it, you still don't understand?” I said furiously, tearing off the paper and angrily putting it on her chest. “Taci, Angie or I'll deactivate you!”
“Hey
 Come on
 calm down
”(Y/N) said, putting a hand on my trembling shoulder, turning me around slowly. “Calm down
”
Her soft voice relaxed me, but the tears were already traveling freely down my horrible face.
“Shh
” you whispered in a tender voice, taking my hands again while I, desperate, shook my head.
“I-I'm in love with you, (Y/N)
 Ti amo
” I whispered more timidly, coming back to my senses little by little, dying of embarrassment for my nervous outburst.
“Yes, I've already realized,” she said amused, bringing one of her hands to my intact cheek, wiping away one of my tears. “Donna
 Listen to me
 I
 I feel the same way about you
”
“What?” I asked nervously, startling myself.
“The truth is that I didn't expect to fall in love with a Lord but
 Well, I guess life has brought us together for a reason, don't you think? And I'm not just saying that just because... Well, you know," she said in a pleasant voice, pointing at her scar.
“You... You have feelings for me...” I said, not knowing if it was a question or a statement.
(Y/N), still caressing me, nodded.
“Please! I'm going to get diabetes!” Angie shrieked, breaking the magic of the moment. “Yuck...”
“Angie...” I lamented, just when I was starting to enjoy that moment.
“It doesn't matter, Donna...” she said, amused, still looking at me, still piercing my heart with her gaze. “You can tell she’s happy...”
“Well...” I said, laughing nervously.
“Hey... I thought about closing the store for today,” (Y/N) said, moving away. “Maybe you'd like to do something together...”
“Vu-Vuoli... Vuoli...fare qualcosa... in-insieme?” I stammered awkwardly, not keeping control of my own language.
“If you told me what I think
 Yes,” she joked playfully. “Let’s do something together
”
“Oh, okay, I
 Io
 We can, go
 You can
 You can
 You can come to my house if you want
 I, you
 you liked sewing, right?” I said nervously.
She nodded with a funny look.
“I can, I can show you my workshop, and
 I can, I can
 We can sew together
 se
 se hai voglia
 E
 And, I can, I can show you my bam
 My dolls, and
 I can, I can make one like you if you want, and we can, we can
”
“Donna,” she said, interrupting my pathetic attempt at conversation, relaxing my nerves with a soft caress, one to which I also joined my hand. “I would love to go to your house
”
“Really?” I asked, nodding, with a sincere smile, far from my usual nervous look. “Would you like to?”
“Yes
” she sighed, getting dangerously close to me. “But first, I'd like to do something
”
“Oh, okay, wh
?” I said nervously, interrupted by her lips, which kissed mine, caressed them in a tender way, in a way I never expected to feel. I don't know what her first kiss had been, but mine
 I would never forget mine.
“Much better, don't you think?” she sighed still on my lips, letting the rhythm increase on its own, so I could kiss her without fear.
“Ugh, they’re kissing!” Angie protested.
We both smiled, resting our foreheads on each other.
“Come on, honey
 I'm looking forward to see your dolls
”
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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 4 months ago
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Dame Aylin does not worry; she strategises.
This is something I started as part of a little examination of writing Aylin's voice, but think might be neat as its own post. It does provide a nice quick look at how she constructs her glorious dramatic proclamations and when exactly she refers to herself in the third person.
So I give you, directly from the game files: every time Dame Aylin says Dame Aylin.
To kick it off, the line she has if you attack her in camp:
You defile our alliance with violence. A disappointment - but not a threat to Dame Aylin, immortal.
Some lines from the end of Act 2, the Moonrise debrief, and the first time she comes to camp:
You have defeated Ketheric Thorm, yet you who were content to leave Dame Aylin in his thrall until it served you best. How do you account for it? But Dame Aylin's life is neverending. And she does not forget. Now - I believe Isobel asked a question of you. We will meet you in your camp - is it agreed? Do not speak so abruptly to the mate of Dame Aylin, daughter of the Moonmaiden, paladin of - You would deny Dame Aylin, daughter of the Moonmaiden, paladin of the selfsame Selûne? And you - Sharran. Cleric of the Lady of Loss, who is so much more than she appears. You and Dame Aylin have dangerous ground to tread. Moonmaiden, I ask you to cleanse the wickedness in the heart of the slayer of Ketheric Thorm! Forgive them the sin of sending Dame Aylin into his foul clutches! Hmm. Ketheric Thorm. Father of my one and only love. Enslaver of Dame Aylin. Why, she already has. She has brought her sword to your side. Dame Aylin.
Moving on to Act 3, talking about Lorroakan looking for her (and possibly discussing Aradin and his fellow mercs as well):
Is he indeed? Pray tell, what does he seek from Dame Aylin? Let them come, and let them find me. Dame Aylin will strike down any who seek to bring her to harm's home. Do not speak false to Dame Aylin. Not after all we have endured. Dame Aylin will face him. You will wield your glorious might at her side. Let us split him, crotch to crown, and let his twin halves fall where they may. Your intuitions are my lodestar, darling. But consider: now that Dame Aylin has returned to the fold of time, she could use allies and interlocutors. Hmm. If you judge him worth the endeavour, then I will do as you say. Now that Dame Aylin has returned to the fold of time, she will need allies and interlocutors. But Dame Aylin's deeds are great; her presence - present. Sooner or later, he will discover that the daughter of Selûne lives. Dame Aylin does not worry; she strategises. Our camp has been besieged by bribelings. And Dame Aylin is the prize that seduced them. There can be no doubt about it. But even Dame Aylin experiences lapses in her fine judgement. To Ramazith's Tower they were meant to take me. Ho! Won't Lorroakan be surprised when Dame Aylin trounces him in his own citadel. Oh, I hope he tries. Please, Lorroakan, come to me with your magicks and your flaccid charms. Attempt to lay one hairy finger upon Dame Aylin, daughter of Selûne most high.
Then, the showdown in Ramazith's Tower proper - first two if you side with her, the rest if she is betrayed:
Magicians and their plans for Dame Aylin. Predictable; sadistic; flaccid. Dame Aylin is watching. She is indomitable. And when her face lights the shadows of your wrongdoing, you are broken by its beauty. Dame Aylin does not go anywhere quietly. Do not tell Isobel what fate has befallen Dame Aylin. She must not enter this viper's den. When next we meet, no words will cross Dame Aylin's lips, but her sword will find your flesh and make of it her sheath.
Post-wizard camp conversations:
Set your mind at ease, my friend. Dame Aylin is more well now than she has been this past century. Ha! I am not surprised. You have a great talent for tearing down Dame Aylin's enemies. Thank you, my friend. From the bottom of my heart. But fear not: When the time comes for you to face the foe of foes, Dame Aylin will stand at your side.
A couple of battle cries - first one from the Act 2 final boss if you don't free her until then, and the second from the Act 3 final battle:
MOONMAIDEN, HEAR ME! DAME AYLIN IS FREE! Dame Aylin will not let this place fall!
I'm also going to include her introductions, though that's obviously a bit of a different case:
I am Dame Aylin. Out of this hellish realm I carry my sword by the blessing of my mother, Selûne. I am Dame Aylin. Daughter of the Moonmaiden, Selûne; champion of her causes in this fine realm. You will address me with due deference. I am Dame Aylin. And you are a whelp without honour, without pride, with nothing but a tower full of trinkets.
And, finally, we have a couple of written notes - very, very different in tone. First, a threatening, ominous promise she leaves behind if you betray her to Lorroakan, but he dies and Rolan fails to bind her:
Dame Aylin has never had an enemy She did not destroy, A traitor She did not undo. Dame Aylin has never died And stayed dead. No, she waits, waits, until The one she hates sleeps, alone, in bed and then and then she strikes.
Chilling, and calls to mind her vows of vengeance if you mess with her in the Shadowfell. I don't know if I'd find it scarier delivered in an angry scrawl or with some perfect fancy penmanship.
The second note is, alas, her epilogue letter if Isobel has died:
Ally mine, It has been a full half-year since last we spoke. Your great victory against the wicked brain of brains still plays before my eyes by nights; ho, it was a sight I'll cherish for the remainder of my infinite days. I hope these last turns of my mother's face in the sky have brought you rest and peace. But rest has not found Dame Aylin, no - I pursue the heels of a villain no less foul than the so-called 'Absolute'. An assailant who has targeted Selûnite enclaves across the coast. But fear not! Dame Aylin will find them. And you have seen yourself what she does to those deserving of her boot. The road is long. It is lonely. And I have not forgotten all I've lost. But I cherish what I have found, too. Yours eternally, Dame Aylin Daughter of the Moonmaiden Selûne The Nightsong-no-more Anon and Everlasting
And finally, to end this post on a high note, the beautiful PS she adds to Isobel's epilogue letter:
P.S. IT IS I, DAME AYLIN! I SEND MY REGARDS!
There you have it! Hope at least someone finds this amusing and/or useful.
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commander-rahrah · 1 year ago
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Talking to the Moon
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader Word Count: ~5000 (haha.. whoops) Warnings: slightly suggestive for a tiny moment but SFW, swearing, PTSD, trauma, past/implied abuse, fluff, angst, emotional hurt/comfort
archiveofourown: here
masterlist: here
Summary: Set in early Act II. Reader/Tav's origin of their powers is revealed to the party and there is a negative reaction to it. Astarion attempts to comfort reader with his usual routine and provide a "distraction" but gets rejected. He begins to question their own reasoning and feelings, and realizing that he might be feeling something
 different.
Note: This is still a GN!Reader/Tav in second perspective with no names or y/n. However, there is some backstory (noble background and a deity) and appearance descriptors (only freckles and hair colour) assigned to the reader/Tav. I really enjoy the dynamic of the moon/stars that I have with my own Tav named Olympia and Astarion and for this particular idea I wrote I felt the backstory was too important to leave out!
I am an avid D&D player and I loooove making OCs (its a problem I have like 30) but this particular backstory and character that this is based off of is very dear to me, so I really hope your enjoy!
.·:šàŒș àŒ»Âš:·..·:šàŒș àŒ»Âš:·..·:šàŒș àŒ»Âš:·..·:šàŒș àŒ»Âš:·..·:šàŒș àŒ»Âš
You were all gathered on the grounds just outside of the Last Light Inn, heading back inside the main doors with Jaheira and Isobel. The safe haven protected from the forces of the Absolute — thanks to you and your companions quick action. The remaining Tieflings and the other inhabitants of the inn still shaken from the sudden attack, but resting safely inside. “I’m thankful you were all here to stop the attack.” The cleric of SelĂ»ne said softly. 
Isobel then looked over her shoulder at you, stopping for a moment as she looked you over from head to toe. “And you... I recognize my goddess’s powers within you — but they are so different from mine. Your magic is not born out of devotion for her.”
“What is she talking about?” Shadowheart asked from your side, whipping her head to you so fast her black braid flung out behind her.
You swallowed. You had been dreading this conversation. Fearing the moment it came out. “Yes, I, uh—,” You stumbled over your words, your tongue suddenly heavy in your mouth. “I was blessed by SelĂ»ne as a babe.”
Isobel raised her eyebrows, her lips stretching into a slight smile. “A blessing indeed. A drop of SelĂ»ne's own powers lives within you. You use it well.”
You bowed your head, your cheeks flushing a bright shade. Embarrassment and chagrin flooding you as every single member of your party turned to face you — varying reactions on all of them.
You eyes were still on your boots as both Isobel and Jaheira bid you a goodnight, telling you of your own rooms upstairs before disappearing amongst the many doors of the inn. The rest of your party quiet — not even Astarion had opened his mouth to fill the silence with a comment or joke.
The voice who broke it was the one you had dreaded the most. Shadowheart’s voice was a harsh whisper, but it still cut you deeply. “I cannot believe you. You’ve been lying to me this whole time!”
You winced, your teeth biting into your cheek, “I wasn’t lying. I just
 didn’t tell you.”
“You just didn’t tell me that you are blessed with divine magic from my goddess’ enemy.” The dark-haired cleric scoffed, her nose crinkling so much that the scar across her face shrank considerably.
You thought of all the nights around the campfire sharing soft laughs, the early mornings that you helped braid her hair. This was why you had been avoiding it. You didn't want to lose that. Shadowheart had become a friend, an ally. “I didn’t want to ruin anything, we’ve grown so close and
 it’s not like I worship her. I don’t say my prayers to her every night, I was just a babe—“
“Well I do!” She raised her voice, a few passing Harper’s stirring in shock at the outburst before shuffling away. “In Shar’s name. This is unbelievable — I’ve been mere feet away from you this whole time.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But you kept your devotion to Shar a secret and when it did come out all of us have been nothing but accepting.” Your eyebrows were furrowed together in worry. This was going exactly as you had dreaded. You’d hope your friendship would be something she would consider however

“Alsoooo,” Astarion drawled, “The last time you had a disagreement with one of us, we woke up to you holding a knife to Lae'zel’s neck. Can you really blame them for not bringing it up?” He wagged his fingers at her, a single white brow raised.
Her nostrils flared as she flashed a look to the vampire, before turning back to you. “This is no disagreement. This is wrong, this is against everything my lady stands for."
“Shadowheart, please. You are my friend—“ You began to beg, but the cleric cut you off.
“No. Not anymore. We will continue to travel together to reach Moonrise Towers. We will get rid of these tadpoles and then we are done.” She spat.
“I—,” You choked, unable to think of what else to say. How else to defend yourself. You realized that Shadowheart’s mind was made up, no matter what you said right now.
“Shadowheart,” Astarion cut in again, stepping in front of you almost protectively. “Enough.” His voice a low growl.
Gale and Wyll stepped forward too, concern etched on their face. Karlach’s own features were torn — her eyes flitting between you and Shadowheart with immense worry. Lae'zel remained in the back, her muscular arms crossed over her chest as she observed silently.
The dark haired cleric shook her head, a loud breath escaping her before she stormed off up the stairs. Her armor and weapons clanking loudly as she stormed away.
“Princess, come on!” Karlach shouted after her, starting up the stairs. But she paused for a moment, stretching out to grab your elbow gently. “It’ll be alright giggles, ok? Don’t worry about it.”
You could only nod as you watched the Tiefling chase after her, both of them disappearing upstairs.
“Well, that was hard to watch.“ Wyll murmered, offering you a pained smile.
You waited for the sound of a door slamming above, before turning to head up the stairs yourself. You felt your throat tighten as you fought to keep your tears at bay. "Today was a lot. I think I’m just going to find my room now.” You barely waved goodbye as you took the worn steps two at a time, disappearing from your group without a backwards glance as a few tears broke free.
“Wait, do you need—“ Gale began to trail behind you, his brows knitted together and face pained. 
“Let them be, Gale.” Astarion waved a hand to stop him pursing you up the stairs. “Let them drop the mask for a while. If you go barging in there right away, they will paint a smile on their face and act like everything is fine.”
A look of surprise crossed his face before the wizard let his shoulders slump, “You’re right.”
A sound of delight escaped the vampire, before he cupped his pale fingers around his pointed ear, “I beg your pardon, could you say that again? I didn’t hear you.”
Gale let out a large huff, before he admitted “I said you’re right. I’ll let them be.”
“Oooh, Gale. If you’re trying to woo me, at least buy me dinner first.” Astarion pretended to twirl his hair, before flashing him a wicked grin.
Gale pushed his face into a palm, letting out another exasperated sound. “Gods, save me.”
‱ ‱ ‱
You were sat on the bed, your back pressed into the back of the headboard with your knees pressed to your chest. It had been a few hours before the tears had finally stopped, leaving you feeling even more exhausted and drained. You weren’t sure when the news of what lived inside you would come out — but it went exactly as you feared it had. The betrayal and anger on Shadowheart’s face was repeating over and over in your mind. The rest of your party had seemed accepting
 but it was hard to tell what exactly they were thinking.
A sudden knock at your door had you scrambling to right yourself, wiping at your damp cheeks and eyes with the back of your hands. You fixed your shirt, and stretched out your legs to look as if you were just relaxing on the bed before letting out, “Come in.”
Your voice sounded much more meek than intended.
Astarion poked his head through the door, a strange combination of both hesitation and curiosity painted across his pale face. “Hello pet,” He purred, lingering in the door way for a moment.
“Astarion, hi.” You sat up a little straighter, surprised to see him. “Come in.”
He shut the door softly behind him, “Feeling any better? Or did Shadowheart come find you for an encore?”
You shook your head, “No, she’s stayed in her room — thank the gods. I don’t think I could handle another moment like that tonight.”
His eyes betrayed him for a moment, glancing to the floor, “Yes, well usually I would say it’s entertaining watching someone else’s drama unfold
 but I didn’t enjoy that.”
He swayed over to the bed, sitting on the edge. Not close enough to touch, but you couldn’t help the small fluttering that erupted in your belly as he sat next to you. How casual it seemed, how easy it had become.
You shoved the thought away, instead scrunching your mouth up as you spoke, “I was avoiding it for a reason. I feel terrible... I shouldn't have hidden it for so long.”
“Well, if you were looking for a distraction
” He stretched his hand over to you and drew lazy circles on your knee before dragging it up to your thigh. “I can be of some assistance.” A seductive smile curved his lips, his eyes darkening. 
Your expression crumbled as the crack you had just soothed in your chest starting to form again. “That’s all you see me as, isn’t it?”
“What?” He asked, his hand freezing on your leg.
“Sex. That’s the only way you see me.”
“I—“ His eyes widened with bewilderment, before he blinked at you. “I don’t— I mean.” He continued to stammer, his fanged mouth hanging open in genuine shock.
You let out a sad sigh, your eyebrows furrowing like you were in pain. You were. The ache in your chest was growing tenfold, the familiar feeling of your heart crawling up your throat returning. “I’m not in the mood Astarion. If you want to feed, do it and go.”
He instantly pulled his hand away at your rejection, clutching it to his chest with the other one. He didn’t give an apology, nor did he seem interested in your offer to feed. His red eyes were blinking animatedly, as if confused. Before he bowed his head and got off the bed quickly. Then the sound of the door clicking softly behind him an instant later.
You couldn’t hear his steps in the hall even if you wanted to — so instead you rolled over onto your side, curling your limbs into yourself as you screwed your face up once more and cried.
‱ ‱ ‱
Astarion didn’t know what to think. What to do.
No one had ever rejected him before. This is what he did, this is what he was built for. To manipulate. To seduce. 
To play the dazzling, charming distraction. He used to target the lonely, the distressed and upset
 it made the hunt so much easier. And Cazador used to praise him for it — he said the miserable and desperate tasted so much better. 
But you weren’t like those easy targets. You weren’t simple, and he should have known better. You were complex and contradictory — not something he appreciated in a target. But something he could appreciate in a fellow person. Things were becoming to muddled, too confusing.
Gods dammit, he had been so foolish. His entire plan could be falling apart now — you sitting up in your room alone mulling everything over. 
But what really bothered him wasn’t the idea of his plan falling apart. That his protection from his old master could be gone by morning, leaving him behind to suffer the consequences.
No, what really bothered him, what he was really afraid of was how upset you’d been. That he was the cause of that.
Astarion's skin felt hot and crawling as he realized he had treated you as others had treated him all these years. Trying to use your desire as a way to override any other feeling. To seduce you into acquiescence, to fool you into thinking you needed only him. It disgusted him, what he’d done. Shame coursed through him and his fingers clenched onto his leather clad knee. 
He was grateful for the little dark attic he had found above the barn — grateful to be away from the prying eyes of the rest of the party. He couldn't explain this to them, he wouldn't. 
A splash of wet splashed onto the back of his hand and he realized he was crying. He'd forgotten he could do that. He'd stopped so many years ago, numbing and willing himself so that none would come. So that despite the pain or hurt he was feeling, his tears would not be there to give Cazador anymore satisfaction. His master didn't need anymore physical evidence of his anguish — his screams and blood and broken body was enough. He had stopped crying years ago. Until tonight. 
Wiping his face, he took a steadying breath he knew he didn't need. And then again for good measure. He wasn't really sure what he was doing, but he stood up with a slightly trembling body.  He needed to fix this. For you. For himself. 
Before he knew it he was back outside of your door, his fist hovering just above the painted wood. His other hand was picking at the seam of the side of his leather pants nervously. His red eyes stared at the little tray of food he'd brought up for you — resting on the hallway table as he waited to see if you would even let him in. A peace offering he'd thought. A way to get his foot in the door before he could
 explain. Apologize. 
Chewing his lip, he finally let his knuckles rap on the door. He lingered for a moment, before opening it slightly. The small crack in the door angled enough to reveal you still laid in the bed, your back to the door as you were curled up on the mattress. Guilt flooded through him all over again. 
“Gale, I told you I’m fine—"
He pushed the door open a little more, just enough so that is creaked to get your attention. He only poked his head through, enough for you to see his pale face as you strained your neck to look over your shoulder. 
“Oh. It’s you.”
Astarion swallowed at the sound of your disappointment. It was not something he ever wished to hear again if he could. His lashes fluttered against his cheeks as he looked down, unable to look you in the eye, “Will you let me try again?”
“What?”
He finally looked up, his red eyes round and soft, “Let me try again.”
You gave him a hard to read look, before nodding curtly. 
Astarion grabbed the door, not closing it fully but just enough that the lock bounced softly back. His pale knuckles knocked again gently, before he heard you let out an exasperated breath. “Come in.”
A sheepish, tight lipped smile spread across his face as he stepped fully into the room and looked at you. You were sitting up in the bed now, your arms crossed over yourself with an unimpressed look on your face. He used his foot to close the door quietly as he held his peace offering behind him. 
“I won’t bother you, if you don’t want company. But I noticed you hadn’t eaten. I brought you dinner.” He pulled the tray out from behind his back, showing it to you. 
“Oh.”
“And a glass of wine.” He placed everything carefully onto the nightstand, before backing away towards the door. “It’s disgusting.”
A soft laugh escaped you, “Thank you." You took a small sip of the wine, before twisting your face. “Ugh — you are right, that is disgusting.”
“I’m almost certain I saw those Tiefling children your so fond of mixing it themselves. Pray this is a part time gig and they don’t become bartenders in the future.”
The two of you let snickers out through your noses, before the room turned quiet again. “Thank you for bringing this up. I mean it.”
“You’re very welcome.” He shuffled his feet, unsure if that was a dismissal or not. But he also found himself not wanting to leave. His hands were behind his back, his own fingers intertwining and squeezing tightly. “I’m
 I’m sorry for how you were treated today. It wasn’t fair.”
Your eyes flashed down, your brow crinkling. “It’s okay—“
Astarion shook his head profusely, “No, it’s not. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t owe any of us anything — not your story, or 
 or anything else. What you decide to tell us, what you trust us with... that is your choice.” 
“Thank you. It’s not that I don’t trust you all, I do
 I just.”
He cut you off gently, “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I know.” Your finger was playing with the rim of the wine glass in mesmerizing circles, over and over. “I do, trust you though.”
His red eyes lifted from your hands, to give you a quizzical look, “Now, why in the heavens would you do that?”
Your laugh was music to his ears. Full and bright. You shrugged, putting the glass back onto the nightstand — abandoning it and the dinner for another moment. “I just do.”
The vampire couldn't stop the purr that escaped his lips, “Hmmm, other members of our merry party would disapprove.”
“Probably. I think they disapprove of most of my interactions with you.” You said quietly, picking at the blanket you were sat upon. 
The room filled with silence for a moment as you thought. “I was just a baby
 when it happened. I was born ill — so weak and tired, it was almost like I was a dead. My parents threw all of their power and wealth at every scholar and healer they knew to try and cure me.”
Astarion’s eyebrows shot up as you spoke, joining you carefully on the bed. Much further then his previous visit. His hands settled onto his own lap as he listened. 
“Nothing would work. And with every failed attempt, father become more and more distant. And mother became more and more desperate, hoping for any miracle she could find. She began to pray to any God that would listen, traveling to their shrines and statues. One night, my mother had fallen asleep crying while kneeling next to me. She said she awoke to a breeze and silver light — and the most beautiful woman she had ever seen was standing over us. Her hair was set in long silver waves, a flowing dress cascading over her curves, and a small smile on her lips as she watched the scene of mother and child. 'SelĂ»ne?' My mother asked, and the ethereal woman merely smiled again. 'I heard your prayers and felt your tears as if they were mine own. No mother should know the loss of their child.' As I slept, she touched my hair lightly, telling my mother I was pure and good-hearted. SelĂ»ne told her that she would help me, but that I would have a calling that would lead me away from my normal life of nobility and comfort. After my mother agreed, a white light shone through the Goddess’ hand, spreading into my hair, into my body and creating an aura around me. My hair turned silvery white, and star-like freckles began to shine all over my skin.” Your fingertips danced across your face, touching the skin that showed the blessing. 
Astarion was gobsmacked, his eyes lingering over your silver hair and the freckles that dusted your nose and cheeks. His mind struggling to keep up with the information. “So, what Isobel said is true
 a drop of SelĂ»ne's power lives in you?”
You nodded your head weakly, avoiding his stare. 
“Gods
 Why tell me this?”
You only offered a soft smile, “I wanted you to know.”
A thousand thoughts were running through his mind — most of them selfish. He'd prayed to the Gods every night for years, asking, begging, willing them to save him. To give him a swift death. Anything. And never received an answer back. But SelĂ»ne had for you.
But now that he knew you, he could think of no one else who would deserve it. He couldn't bare to think what the world would have been like if you had been taken away so early. Where he would be now if he hadn't met you on the cliffside after that damn ship. “Well, it seems that you truly are walking poetry, darling. Our little moon shining a light on all of us.”
He swore he saw you bottom lip tremble at the name. 
"Let me tell the others, when I'm ready?" You asked quietly. 
"Of course." 
The room fell into silence again, but it was more comfortable then before. Astarion found himself lost in his thoughts — a confusing melody of haunting memories, and wishful thoughts. 
“You never answered my question before.”
“Hmm?” Your voice had him blinking back to reality, turning his body to look over at you. 
“About
 how you see me.” Your eyes were big and vulnerable. They tugged at his heart, at the knot in his stomach that formed with the thought of you.
“Oh," Was all he could get out. 
“I—I just,” Your voice was feint and nervous, your eyes studying the features of his face intently. 
“Don’t ask now.” He blurted, his fingers clenching into a tight fist on his lap. 
“What?”
“Give me time. Please.” He begged gently. 
Your eyes softened, before you nodded in silent understanding. “I can do that.”
Relief flooded him, his fingers relaxing and shoulders drooping. 
You seemed content on letting it drop, instead grabbing the plate of food next to you and balancing it on your knee. “Where is my roommate for the evening?” You asked, before taking a bite. 
“Lae'zel? Oh she deemed the lodgings unacceptable and that she would rather die than join us soft-skinned weaklings in a room. She set up a tent out front in the dirt.”
You finished chewing, before grinning. “That
 checks out.”
“So you get a luxurious evening alone. At least one of us does." He feigned a frown, before waving his hands dramatically, "I get to spend the night listening to Gale and Wyll snore.” He rolled his eyes before speaking again. "I will say charming Wyll did volunteer to sleep on the floor so I could have half the bed, bless him.”
“You could stay here if you want. To sleep, I mean.” You offered easily, pushing the food around your plate with the fork as you waited for him to reply. 
He blinked again, caught off guard by your proposal. “Oh, that’s not necessary—“
“Astarion, really? You’ll share with Gale, but not with me?” You teased, a single eyebrow arching. 
He stared at you for a moment, dumbfounded before nodding, “Alright. Eat your dinner. I’ll get my things.” 
‱ ‱ ‱
Slinking into his room, Astarion left out a sigh of relief as he realized it was empty. He needed a moment to ground himself and stop his spinning head. He had no idea what today would bring, but this whirlwind of a night was not at all what he had expected. He started grabbing his night clothes he had laid out on the bed in his shared room with Wyll and Gale, stuffing them into his rucksack. 
But he bristled as he heard steps approaching, looking over his shoulder to see  his two fellow male companions enter the room. 
“Ahhh, they you are Astarion. We wondered where you scurried off too.” The wizard spoke, tucking the book he had in his hands into the crook of his arm instead. 
“Oh, I found better company than the likes of you.” He shot back sarcastically — earning an eye roll from Gale. 
“Did you now?” The warlock asked with eyebrows raised, before bending down to his own pack to untie his bedroll from it. 
“Don’t bother with the bed roll tonight, Wyll. You’ll have to keep Gale warm tonight.”
"Where are you off too?" Gale asked, his brows furrowed. 
Wyll studied him carefully, before offering a little smirk to the vampire. “Off to sleep under the stars?”
“Amongst them actually.” Astarion replied, keeping his face perfectly neutral. As if to not give anything away.  
Wyll gave him a knowing look. “You be a gentleman, yeah?”
“Aren’t I always?” He said with a little bow before grabbing his bag and slinking out of the room. 
‱ ‱ ‱
Your room was very quiet when he emerged back in it. Your empty dinner plate was sat on the edge of the nightstand, the glass of wine mostly untouched expect for that first single sip. The candles were starting to flicker with their last remaining life, the glow now a deep set orange instead of a bright yellow light. 
You had stepped behind the privacy screen as you changed, only the outline of your figure  could be seen through the sheer material stretched across the wood. He’d seen your naked body before, as you’d seen his — several times by now, actually. But he respected the privacy  — appreciated it actually. There was something quite raw about getting undressed in front of someone like this. Something vulnerable.
Something he wasn’t quite ready for.
Realizing he had been staring at that screen and your outline, he sat his bag down on the dresser and began sorting through his things. He heard the soft pads of your feet across the worn floorboards, before the creak of the bed as you laid in it. He turned around with a fake cough, his own night clothes in his pale hands. “May I?” He jerked his head towards the screen.
You simply nodded, turning on your side away from the screen to face the ajar window instead. 
He changed efficiently, tugging on the delicate breezy nightclothes before padding bare feet to place his folded clothes on top of his rucksack. He swallowed thickly as he turned to survey the room, to the large space you left in the double bed — intended for him. 
"I don't bite." You muttered with your eyes still closed. Like you could sense him hesitating. 
He barked a laugh, before moving to his side. "Cheeky pup." He slid into the bed, savoring the feeling of the soft sheets on his skin, the way the mattress hugged his tired and sore body. He hadn't slept in a real bed in ages, in well — he couldn't remember how long. He thought he had gotten used to the small comfort of his bed roll and tent these past weeks, especially when he compared it to the stone floor of Cazador's dungeon and kennels. But remembering the simple luxury of this room and bed would put his tent to shame once he returned to it. His pale fingertips rubbed the soft fabric covering his body, committing to memory. 
You adjusted yourself next to him, moving your pillow in a way that wafted your scent throughout the room. It made his movements stop, frozen as his senses were overwhelmed by you. You smelled sweet and warm — inviting. And it had nothing to do with the scent of your bouquet that usually clouded his mind. Licking his lips, he forced himself to look away from you — instead looking up at the dark ceiling, as the last flickers of the surviving candle in the room began to fade away. 
"Good night, Astarion." You mumbled into your pillow, your voice already sounding heavy with sleep. 
"Sweet dreams darling." He whispered back. 
You had fallen asleep next to each other before, of course — laid out in that forest or on the sands of a beach after wondering off away from the others to have your way with each other. 
This... this was different. 
He couldn’t will himself to fall into a trance. No matter how hard he tried. Instead he was still staring up at the grays and blacks of the dark ceiling, becoming more and more increasingly aware of your breaths and the thrum of your heartbeat. 
Only once he had heard them slow down, only once he knew you were in a deep sleep, did he chance looking over to you.
Your face was peaceful, serene as you slept. He wasn’t sure if it was actual moonlight trickling in, or just the cleric Isobel’s protective aura that had cast the blueish white light into the room. But either way it was resulted in SelĂ»ne’s power, and even in your sleep you were basking in it. The freckles that marked your checks and nose were almost glittering in the light. The silvery white of your hair shimmering. Your soft lips slightly parted as you dreamed.
Gods, you were beautiful.
Astarion closed his eyes as he was suddenly reminded of his times stuck in those wretched dungeons in the palace. Not what torture or pain he had to endure there. No. For once, that was buried away.
No, instead he recalled what he stared at to get him through those never ending sessions of abuse and torment. 
The night sky through those barred windows. 
The stars, somehow still blinking and winking from him through the city smoke and light. 
And the moon. That beacon of light in the black sky — constantly changing its shape and colour. But it was always there when he needed it to be. When he needed to look up, to be somewhere else, to think of something else — the moon was always there.
Shining. Listening. Understanding.
His eyes opened again, staring again at your tranquil face, your slumbering form curled into the soft bed and sheets.
You were so much more than he had bargained for. A companion blessed with a drop of an actual god’s power. He should have been thrilled — that his plans for protection and well-deserved justice on Cazador was even easier to achieve than he first thought. 
No. Instead he realized he was feeling something else. Something
 new.
That even though he had missed the sun, longed for it for two hundred years, delighted in the colours it cast the world in it. That even though he could finally enjoy the sun's beam, and bask in the it's warmth and golden glow. Despite all that, he knew that the sun would never understand him like the moon did.
Oh shit.
He had royally fucked up his plan.
Part II: here
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maithefluffychicken · 5 months ago
Text
It's a shock, for Astarion, when Wyll simply says "no" to Halsin, once the big druid openly asks the young man for his favours.
Astarion is, as he does, eavesdropping their conversation - a terrible, awful habit he has - and has to suppress a gasp when Wyll rejects Halsin, in a gentlemanly, extremely polite way.
If Halsin looks disappointed by it, Astarion can't say. In his shock, the pale elf rushes to his tent, ignoring the inquisitive glances of his favourite ex-sharran cleric. Maybe he'd tell her later, sharing one of the expensive bottles of wine Astarion likes to borrow from forgotten shelves.
Back in his tent, and with Gale muttering far too close to his liking, Astarion tries to distract himself with a spicy book he found earlier that day in the city. And right before the fierce pirate captain could kiss the hero of the story, Wyll clears his throat to get his attention.
Astarion smiles at him, his stomach feeling light and funny. Fuck him, to feel all flustered just because of a human.
Devil?
Is Wyll still human? Not that Astarion cares. A devil lives longer than a human, if they both survive all this illithid shit, then... maybe then...
"Gods, you're beautiful," Astarion lets the praise slip through his lips. He wishes his voice wouldn't sound as needy as he feels. But Wyll really is breathtaking, his dark skin glowing softly thanks to the closer candles.
"Astarion, I..." Wyll is nervous, he has to clear his throat again. He's so delightful. "Halsin..."
"Oh, darling, I was wondering how long it'd take for him to try!" Astarion barks a high pitched laugh, feigning surprise.
"How did you know?!"
"I guessed it!" Astarion lies. Imitates the druid's voice and speech about free love. Wyll looks both shocked and amused.
"I said no, anyway," Wyll continues. "Just wanted to tell you what happened."
"You saif 'no'? Why would you refuse the company of such a creature?" Astarion asks and he honestly wants to know the answer. "I wouldn't get mad if you ever wanted to have a ride with the bear, darling."
"I know you wouldn't oppose to open our relationship, my star," Wyll says, smiles at Astarion so sweetly it hurts. "But I'd rather be just us, if that's ok? I'm too old fashioned I'm afraid, and I'd understand if you-"
Astarion takes Wyll's hands in his. He doesn't initiates contact first often, so this small gesture is enough to get Wyll's full attention.
"You don't want to? Even if it's been a while since we haven't...?" Astarion asks, if he had a heart, the poor thing would be hammering in his chest like a bat out of hell.
"Astarion, my love, I'm not with you because of sex," Wyll says slowly, looking at Astarion's ruby eyes intently. "If you don't want to have sex ever again, that'd be fine. I just want to be with you, because of you, and I'd be happy to be with you for as long as you'll have me."
"I- Yeah, I was being foolish, wasn't I?"
"May I kiss you, my star?"
"Y-yes," Astarion swallows, taken aback by the duke's warmth, by his soft, gentle manners. By the love this young man proclaims to feel towards him.
Their lips meet in the middle, and Astarion doesn't doubt to deepen it, pouring all his feeligs, his needs and his fears into it.
Wyll look dazed when they take a step back, his lips glistening, a soft dopey smile in them.
"Ah, you are perfect, Wyll Ravengard."
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