#cleo was hilarious as always

[elodee]

Joe Hills might be a comedic genius. The "Doc is a giant baby" defense?

Brilliant

Showstopping

Actually a surprisingly strong argument

Alas, Doc getting sentenced to sky jail is the funniest possible conclusion and therefore they stood no chance.

[cuppahoney]

TEENY TINY WIP FOR THE MASSES 🫡

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

a lighter take on a recent hc: instead of a birthday party, cleo has a deathday party. everyone wears black and dramatically wails about cleo, who is lying in a bespoke coffin trying not to laugh. gifts are tucked into the coffin with her so that she can be "buried with them". there is cake, because "it's what she would have wanted". joe always delivers hilarious but heartfelt eulogies.

Somebody always ends up tripping over Cleo's open coffin and "accidentally" dropping their cake in, so she can enjoy it too without breaking The Bit.

-Mod Mleem

[redliferiot]

life series teams i really want to see (+ explanations)

note: this is all my own opinions & ideas, I'm not making team names bc that would be too much work, also I'm only including people who have appeared in the life series so far

mumbo & scott

think of the dynamic. think of it.

i know this sounds a bit random bc they've interacted like Twice in the entire series but I genuinely think they'd have a great dynamic with each other

chill and done with everyone's bullshit + anxiety incarnate

also scott deserves a new bf

cleo & pearl

they have The Best dynamic. allies to enemies to ally enemies to ???

i ain't never seen two bloodthirsty women always one of them is killing the other (pearl quit murdering cleo challenge)

they did team up in last life but

i NEED to know their dynamic as allies when scott isn't there

team girlbosses

etho & grian

i think this team would get the reputation of being super scary and intimidating but in reality they'd both just bring out the patheticness in each other

etho's washed-upness is contagious and grian Needs to catch it

alternatively:

grian & bigb

cmon let them have their soulmates be bromates arc they so wanted in double life

or:

grian & etho & bigb

honestly u can throw etho in too make them a Weird Trio with an Indescribable Dynamic

i do not know what their dynamic would be like as a trio but i do think it would be funny

ren & bdubs

hermitcraft s9 king-and-hand dynamic but make it ~life series~

they'd just hype each others energy so much

for extra fun, throw martyn in for:

ren & bdubs & martyn

idk man I just love the idea that ren declares himself king of a third server & bdubs and martyn have to endlessly compete for his favor its hilarious

jimmy & scar & skizz

team Dies First

they are not succeeding but they'd be such a fun team

tango & impulse

ik these two have teamed up before but I love their dynamic so I want them to team up again

also fun fact when I was first getting into mcyt all those years ago I kept thinking tango and impulse were the same person bc they both did redstone and their voices sounded similar to me

joel & lizzie

let them be married in game

[paziffic]

It is absolutely hilarious to me that Ethubs, compared to other popular ships in the fan base, is by far the most NORMAL duo.

Like ok ok, looking @last-lifeduo-standing ‘s page, the most popular ships in this fandom are those with lots of like lore, fantastical elements, or idk in-universe importance or significance that makes them stand out. Does that make sense??

For example- Desert duo. Going off popular fanon interpretations, Desert duo is a pair thats the Watchers’ favorite. They are constantly being toyed with and pulled together. One of them is also a Watcher but has no control over the terrible stuff that happens to him and his friends. And remember! This is all commonly accepted fanon stuff.

Flower husbands consists of a two-time winner of the game who won by disobeying the Watchers’ rules. The other guy got some bird curse and always dies first despite his efforts.

Team Rancher, another very popular pairing kind of is treated with the same approach. It’s got Jimmy with the canary curse and Tango is now commonly headcanoned to have a curse of meaningless death (he’s been lore-ified)

Renchanting too has evo listener Martyn, and Ren who very much leans into role playing. Their character significance is quite obvious

As for Ethubs, I’ve seen next to no posts in this fandom treating them with the same specialness that is fucking hilarious. They are literally just two assholes that won fans over by pure skrunkly scrimbloness. By no means are they normal people! They are not normal they are in fact very very strange people. But in both canon and fanon interpretations they are literally just some guys. Ok Etho has a big reputation as a minecraft legend, but one by one people (Cleo, Joel) are realizing that ok he is just some guy. There is LITERALLY an arc in canon about how much of a guy he is. There is nothing special about these two and there never will be. Sure Ethubs has angst and famous moments, but are they Watchers? Cursed? Winners? No! They are just two guys who want to spend their time playing the game being mentally unwell about each other. And the fandom (me) fucking eats it up every time.

TLDR: all of the popular duos in this fandom have heavy lore elements to them because they consist of winners, or fan-appointed watchers/listeners/cursed people.

And then there’s Ethubs

[riacte]

Yeah yeah TNT trap but one bit of the stream that absolutely fascinated me was the neighbours solidarity between Ren Iskall and Beef. Ren and Beef freaking out over Iskall running back and targeting False if they ever let sight of him. Ren's brain having dived into a "it's us against them" mentality and being anxious around the mountain people because of course he does that, it’s his favourite hermit’s life on the line. Of course he would see as some sort of war even though nothing happened. Ren naming their voice chat group something boring and nondescript like “neighbourhood planning” so no one would join. He’s both still Ministering and keeping up with the theatrics by pretending to be in a so painfully boring meeting. Neighbourhood mafia boys trying to kill Bdubs (for False). Iskall being like lmao you guys are stupid. Lol. Anyways.

And it was so funny how when the trap was done, they were like ahhaha lol see you guys later. Or never. We never knew each other.

AND THEN BDUBS LOGGED ON.

Which naturally freaked everyone out. And what was fucking funny is that other people like Grian, Joe, and Hypno were online and aware of the scheme. They even made references to it in chat. Grian and Joe at least were watching Ren’s stream, because of course he was streaming a top secret operation (and Beef later was like WHY ARE YOU EVEN STREAMING and Ren was like 🥺 this is why I’m a bad reaper). But I don’t think anyone snitched. Everyone acted normal, if not nosy.

The part of the stream that charmed me and gave everyone the impression of “oh, we’re REALLY in it now” was when Ren was alone in his Gigahut and someone whispered to him about Bdubs being on. And those three neighbourhood members met up in Ren’s hut and just sat there panicking and talking about Bdubs. It was so tense. They were the image of three scared whimpering people huddled together on a sofa in the relative safety of their neighbourhood (far away from Bdubs’ trap). (On a side note, I’m always glad when builds are somehow the backdrop for dramatic and tense moments because the build instantly feels lived in and the space feels used. Like there’s a core memory attached to the build now.)

And in the end, they decided to venture out to spy on Bdubs. Which they did for an hour. With spyglasses and crouching. And Ren, good old Ren, was pushed centerstage because he was the second reaper to ever exist and still hadn’t gotten a kill AND he was dead set on supporting his False, and since it was the final two, Bdubs has to go.

Watching the hermitchat go by while those three were intensely studying Bdubs like a nature documentary was hilarious. Seemingly nondescript discussions. The trio panicking and then Grian sent out “have faith”, which might be in reference to G’s own fishing thing but the trio took it as a double message for their own plan (since G was watching the stream). All the whispering. It’s killing me. And False logging on, mostly unprotected (because they were all away!!) and Cleo being like yayy I have no allegiance to False I’ll blow up whatever <3 And False saying she needed a miracle and those three were like WE ARE TRYINGGG (False was aware the three were trapping). Ren’s refusal to say something in chat because he’s a red name and he’s tense.

Ren had to be the one to activate the trap (even though Beef was the one who suggested it and Iskall laid out the redstone). SO the other two had to leave him alone while they engaged Bdubs in discussion so Ren could sneak in and blow them up. Our poor reaper had to fly solo with 2.9k people on his stream. “It’s just you and me, chat”. He’s sat there for three hours. He’s missing dinner.

AND BEEF YELLING AT REN TO ACTIVATE THE TRAP WAS SO STRESSFUL. Even when the ruse was up, and even when Beef and Iskall were like hahaha Ren you SUCK so bad, Ren continued with his last shred of hope and absolute last shred of dignity. He lied. And Beef was probably like 👀 Ren hasn’t given up yet! Gotta distract Bdubs more!

I haven’t watched much Beef before this but now I’m quite charmed with him. He’s great with improv, fucking hilarious to bounce off with, and kept calm and steady throughout the operation. I love how him and Iskall had to hold Ren back from charging in like a madman and blowing himself up because doggy self sacrificial tendencies. Beef was the brains and common sense. And I love how supportive he was of Ren the entire time.

🥺 Beefrenskall. The trappers. The neighbours. Flying high their banner for False. Wanting to be a miracle for her. 🥺🥺🥺

[thecoolerliauditore]

pearl needs to run away from Scott. let him GO!!! I promise Pearl, i promise, he doesn't love you. he loves the idea of you. he loves who he thinks you should be. not the real you, not the one with flaws, not the one he traumatized and broke into a million little pieces and had to learn to pick herself back up again, with the help of the very few people who would help her bandaged hands sort through those glass shards. he wouldn't help you then!! he doesnt deserve you now!!!! please girl, LEAVE HIM!!!!

and look. I know she's loyal. I know she'll probably never leave, because she loves the idea of him too, not the person he really is. she loves the memory of her best friend from a past life, not the man who would hurt her and pretends its all her fault. but. BUT hear me OUT.

gems right there. gem, who she wanted to ally with so bad last season. gem who was excited to see her, who welcomed that broken piece of her with open arms and wasn't scared when she met the scarlet pearl. gem, that killed pearl twice, that pearl was still willing to fight a final time, in what would have likely been a third death for pearl. she can go to her. she can GET OUT!!! she can get help, she just has to take that first step. she has to leave herself, but there's someone there she wanted to be friends with last season so bad, she can take that step now!

the only thing holding her back is her own loyalty. she's a dog on a leash of loyalty and now Scott and cleo have the other end. it's just a matter of if she can chew through it to run away or if it'll strangle her first

HELLO anon this is the anon ask that made me lay face up in my bed staring at the ceiling listening to when she loved she from toy story 2 on repeat fyi (it slowly morphed into nonsense speaker the rachie cover specifically over time. always been a pearl song to me but it was a bit melodramatic before this point. if it gets worse i might have to. i might)

It sucks so much it literally it literally sucks. What you said about them both loving ideas of eachother is so on point, they're both chasing something within the other that is innately self-contradictory.

Pearl wants to forgive him, but her version of "forgive" is to forgo her own feelings of spite and not challenge his view on things, which means she can never get the closure she needs to truly forgive him or get back the Scott she knew in LL.

Scott also wants Pearl back, the authentic one he knew in LL, but he also needs to whittle her down (cough) to something acceptable to him (in this case, shamed for her actions during DL) so his narrative doesn't get challenged. But that's not quite the Pearl he knew either! He can't have both a genuine connection with Pearl and have her exist solely as the concept of her he's created in his head, but he needs both and I really can't wait to see how that pans out. This paragraph is insane copium btw I do know I think you're a lot more correct than I am when you say he never actually loved her but I'm delusional. Logical side of me definitely thinks he's comfortable like this and if anyone's going to challenge this dynamic it's gonna be Pearl not Scott but what if man. What if.

Anyway I've seen so many people begging Gem to take Pearl in and I do get it I do. I personally have like one million fantasies about something like that as well. However I am calling on my Martyn Inthelittlewood clause and saying that I also do want to see Pearl deal with the consequences.

I'm so happy you said that she needs to leave herself because goddamn yes she does!! If Gem just kidnaps her that's just taking away her growth! If she does fuck off and join Joel/Gem btw this will be like. an absolutely hilarious parallel to Last Life. Fairy Fort welcome back none of us missed you. Would be fitting for this season.

The collar/leash imagery is so messed up man thanks. Reminds me of this Scott/Cleo fanart I wanted to draw at one point where they're cosplaying as Denji/Makima but in that halloween costume way where they don't know the characters or the implications. Sorry just had to throw that in there.

[moomoorare]

Okay guesses for what the next season will be called are always hilarious. I gotta take a shot at it too.

Here's my guesses:

- Spare life

Each session you can give your best buddy an extra life, but you'll lose all saturation so you better have food. It's a very secretive series where it's revealed all the hearts were either given to Pearl, who asks them so nicely. To Jimmy the most pathetic guy in the series who BEGS for them. Or Scar, who scams them out of their pockets with a new mechanic called "Trick Track Truck", at least that's what he calls it.

The mechanic is actually useful because the one who gains the most will be brought back to life to fight with the last remaining player.

Jimmy still loses but comes second to last. Gem wins because I want her to.

- One life

Hate this title, great because it confuses people even more with the numbering scheme. Anyways it's actually a murder mystery dinner they all have to solve. They can't really solve anything because they keep killing each other. That doesn't matter because actually they have like 15 lives, also there's a bomb. No one wins. Kidding!!! Skizz wins cus he was the one faking being shot at the murder mystery party he sat up.

-False Life.

Because I want False to be added. That's it. 🥰

-Cub Life

Or Cub. Who's a literal bear that stalks them and makes increasingly crazy ass machines to fuck with them. Also they're all A/B/O coded.

- Zombie Life

Everyone has to run from Cleo who gets massive w's and can kill them all with a stick. They actually start a cult or church for her, ran by Scar, Bdubs and Etho. Grian too bc he's always into that shit. And Gem and Pearl, because I'd like that. Cleo wins again because the others all kill themselves. Also she accidentally kills Bdubs at the start of the season after he says Yuri time for the fifth time she hangs out with the Girrlss.

-One Life for Life

the one who survives the longest has gotta then live through the season like an hardcore world, alone. It sounds sad, but actually all the dead are haunting them. Weait, oh yeah that's sad. Anyways, they win a jackpot of one million netherite scarps and nothing else. So they can say they're rich.

- Grian Life

they all look like Grian, there's two squads of either fish and bird, but they all look like him. Absolutely useless information that changes nothing.

Tagnames are not shown, theyre all numbered Grian1 through Grian17. Grian isn't even number Grian1.

They have one life. The point isn't even surviving because actually you can respawn. It's kinda like Among Us. There's an impostor and that'll be mumbo. He still loses.

- Dumb ways to die-Life

completely breaks the way it's been titled for years and they all gotta find the stupidest fucking ways to die. If you die to a creeper or fall damage you gain a life. You start with three. Goofiest ass wins this season. Fuck lore-heads.

-Run for your Life

they give /op to one player. They all don't know who. It changes each session, three times. The goal is for the all powerful god to die at least one time, but it has to be at someone else's hand, since they can't naturally die, it's a new mechanic. They can absolutely fuck with people but cannot directly kill them.

- Fuck Life

they all um. no. Well they say "fuuuck life!!!" And immediately try to die faster than anyone else to have the saddest ending. First to die is Jimmy. Poor Jimmy. Somehow he's brought back to life. He still dies right after.

That's just my thoughts after having woken up at 4 pm and going to bed at 5 am. Yeuh

...

So what do you think it'll be? What are your ideas for the next season?

[linkito]

Doc in particular being on Scar's side post-rescue gives me warm fuzzies. Because arguably he did see Scar at his worst and had to hold hold him back, he could have been the strongest voice for Scar coming back "wrong". And sure he saw the trap on Grian's wings but he never saw the hunters themselves so he never saw WHY Scar fought so hard.

This thought lead to another thought of oh, oh Impulse and maybe Pearl are really the only ones who saw both, aren't they? Pearl got a little experience with the hunters and then was evac'ed to where Scar was being feral (tho she may not have been focused on that). Impulse got the opposite, got to see Scar like that and then got to see the hunters and why Scar might be like that.

Gem saw the hunters and sure saw Scar fight, but didn't see Scar on the ship by himself. Cub got Scar out early so didn't see the whole fight. Doc and X never left the ship so they didn't see any of the fight.

Also Mama Cleo, we love her. And I mean, not to dig too deep into them, but depending on if you think people are born zombie hybrids or get turned.... Cleo that got turned? Seeing Scar changed by a world into something he wasn't before? Neither of them feeling like that change is something needing to be fixed? 👀

-🎀

I'm a big advocate for friendship between Doc and Scar, in general and especially in hhau. It's so obvious he has a soft spot for Scar. It's hilarious to watch how often he dashes over to hang out with Scar on stream hehe

And yeah! He saw Scar at his worst, without the context of the battle, but it doesn't change how he sees Scar. Doc is the scary one, obviously. Of course. Duh.

And gosh YEAH that's such a great point about Cleo. I might steal that and make it canon, the idea of it being something they were turned into from a human instead of something she was born as.

Becoming what is deemed as a monster, but owning it, embracing it. No longer wishing to be what she used to be. This is who they are!

Something about this creeper-goat-cyborg and a zombie being some of Scar's closest allies during all of this. Reminding the hermits that "monsters" aren't always what they seem.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 3, Episode 12. "Lorelai Out Of Water" Part 1

Ladies, we have more filler. I can't complain. This episode was so easy that I watched it twice.

Lorelai has offered her garage as rehearsal space to Hep Alien. But first! They have to clean out said garage, which they haven't attempted to enter in years. Then they debate whether or not Lorelai ever remembered to call the Garage Cleaner Uppers that one time a few years ago. Thrilling stuff! It's been a while since we've last had a sexually tense Luke vs Taylor showdown.

Meow!

Gilmore Girls is bought to you by our sponsors, Office Depot, Circuit City, and Blockbuster Video. Hold on. I'm getting word that Office Depot still exists. Really?

Nothing to see here folks, just Rory comparing her mother to a woman famous for having sex with rockstars...then insinuating that she should sleep with Zach. I'm sorry Rory, this MILF only has eyes for one teenage boy. One who is a lot less talented than Zach.

This is weird, but hoo boy, it's about to get weirder.

Well well well. Who would have ever thunk that the deeply repressed Christian girl has a submssion kink? Soggy Rygalski is her Daddy ordering her around and reminding her that her drumming is inadequate. Lane personally requested that Dave verbally berate her in front of the other band members in order to...distract them? The plan is that if they see Dave treating Lane like a kicked dog, they won't realize they're crushing on each other? That's kinda messed up? This presumes that Dave and Lane are both confident that Brian and Zach will see Dave treating her like crap and have no thoughts about it except "I guess they're not smooching." Although we've yet to see if this plan, once put in motion, actually works. Anyway. Sure Lane's Dom Daddy is a lispy geek in a patterned sweater, but SaltyGilmores does not judge. It’s always the quiet ones am I right?

Seems like they’ve found a creative way to get off while staying in God's good graces. Have fun you kids.

"Rory, this is all I have" Thanks to Rory I can cross off the "cockblocking" square from my End of Episode Bingo Card.

Rory tries to come to Lane’s defense, but since it was all just part of Lane and Soggy’s sex games it wasn’t actually necessary.

Oh, we know why.

From the messed up mind of AmyShermanPalladino.

"Yes Daddy"

SAME. Oh. She's talking about the place. The place with all the coffee. Alex's kids are named Hilary and Jeff, 6 and 9.

Once again, Lorelai is no Miss Cleo.

Of course she said yes. Alex is totally worth waking up at 5 am for. Back in The Hollow, Lane is chipping away at Mama to obtain permission to go to the prom and hatching another harebrained scheme to bring Soggy Rygalski into Mama's good graces, it involves a Korean wedding and Rory is invited apparently. Whatever.

Well well well. Look who took the place of Stars Hollow Beauty Supply's worst (dead) employee. No respect for the dead, huh. Not even a little shrine or memorial plaque or photocopy of her obituary displayed on the counter. Tragic. #Honk

Where did Lane get 40 bucks? At the Inn, Lorelai is speaking to Sookie regarding her Fishing Date Regrets.

He sounds dreamy. Tell me more.

And the Mid Season Temporary Love Interests just keep on comin! Now we just have to wait for Lindsay. Oh dear God. I just remembered Max comes back in this season too. And maybe even soon. Help. While Lorelai seems to have terrific chemistry with her new temporary Luke substitute (Alex), Luke's Lorelai substitutes (Rachel, Nicole) have always fallen flat and seemed dreadfully boring to me. That's probably on purpose. We're stuck with her for a while. Whatever.

Hey look everyone. There's the baby. Where have you been, young man? I've hit my 30 screenshot maximum. Stay tuned for part 2. (As always, your comments, feedback, reblogs and tags make my day)

[dollsorwhatever]

Creeproduction Spectra

Figured this would be valuable to post here as well since these are so new lol Despite spending almost an entire day complaining about Creeproduction Spectra having the wrong head sculpt and polypropylene hair, I did actually buy her from Paulmart the day she was first listed because Spectra is one of my favorite MH characters (along with Cleo ofc, and Wydowna- please make a collector or G3 Wydowna Mattel I am begging you) and because I was curious to compare her with my original Sig Spectra that came from the very first batch and is slightly different from later batches of Sig Spectra lol Original on the left, Creepro on the right!

Some things of note: -Can confirm she has poly hair! Appalling. I get that kanekalon is discontinued, but there are nearly identical saran matches for Spectra's original hair colors, so this was purely a result of Mattel being incredibly cheap. Mattel has recently made a pretty significant effort to make new saran batches of g3 dolls that originally had poly, so I really do not understand why they would do this for a reproduction doll that is primarily directed at adult collectors lol It's also horribly layered in a way that I find baffling? Sig Spectra has always had weird layers but the creeproduction has, like, a mullet. I'm not even bothering to style it because she's getting a reroot ASAP.

-Creepro uses the less detailed Spectra sculpt with less prominent cheekbones that was introduced with the final batch of Signature Spectra and used for most of her subsequent dolls until 13 Wishes. It also sits a lot lower on the neck than the original sculpt, which is why she looks slightly less relaxed than my original.

I honestly hate that they chose to reproduce this sculpt instead of the original (her HC doll also lacks cheekbones btw) and she would have been lesser compared to my original even if she didn't have poly. Spectra's original sculpt is one of my favorite MH heads they've ever done so it's pretty annoying to see them using the simplified version for her new dolls, especially considering they made switch in the first place because corporate allegedly thought the original was "too scary" for children. Despite my disappointment at her lack of cheekbones, I do actually really like her face and I find it a little hilarious that I managed to get such a good one after all the complaining I did lol

-While Creepro Spectra has a shorter neck than her original doll, she has a longer neck than the other Creeproductions; this is because the other Creeproductions (both waves) have shorter necks than their original dolls, but Spectra's original doll already had a much longer neck than the other characters. I guess she had some extra neck to spare compared to the rest lol (it's more accurate to say that the neck length is still the same, but all of their heads sit lower on the neck knob than their original dolls for some reason) -Her screening is mostly based on the version used for the late batch of Sig Spectra, but interestingly has a side glance! The only other version of Sig Spectra with a side glance is a variant from her second or third batch (with cheekbones) so it's interesting that they chose a side glance for the reproduction.

-Her earrings match the first batch Spectra (black chains instead of silver like subsequent batches), but the rest of her outfit is more reminiscent of the batches that came after. For example the belt on the first batch is much more simple than the one used on later batches, and the creepro comes with the more detailed belt. -Skirt is slightly shorter and her boots are also darker (improvements imo) -The silver necklace and bracelet shackle are made of a much more transparent plastic than the original (not an improvement) -Her top is mostly the same but the construction is slightly less fitted and the pleather feels a bit cheaper.

As much as I actually sincerely like her, I think it's overall a mixed bag; the poly is the worst part imo. I can look past the sculpt being wrong because she is really gorgeous despite that, but it's unacceptable for any doll to be rooted with polypropylene, and especially not a reproduction. And I can't help but think about how amazing she would have been with her original sculpt. Luckily I can reroot and I look forward to giving her knee length saran hair..... but I shouldn't have to do that! According to the retailer who first got these, they will get a wide release on Amazon exclusively in April of 2024 and he only managed to get them directly from Mattel because they hadn't decided to make them Amazon exclusives until after he ordered stock. So keep an eye on Amazon in a few months! Also according to a very reliable inside source on Reddit, there will also be a new batch of wave 1 Creeproductions in 2024 as well!

Don't buy from scalpers!

[dinahblackdamncanary]

November 1st, Cupid's diary :

"Clawd broke up with Cleo today, although he let her tell every monster that she dumped him. Now Cleo’s dating Deuce, Clawd’s sister Clawdeen believes her brother has been “done wrong��� and is very angry at Cleo, and I find this all very confusing and well… confusing. I almost shot Clawd and Cleo again but then thought better of it. Maybe just randomly picking out two monsters that seem compatible isn’t the best way to go about this. I have somehow made a mess out of something that should have been so easy. I guess this is what my father meant by “gaining experience”. Oh, and Headmistress Bloodgood wants to see me tomorrow. I can’t wait to have that conversation."

Cleo and Deuce started dating on November 1st, after Clawd broke up with Cleo. I always find 2 things hilarious. Firstly, that Clawd let Cleo tell everyone that it was her who broke up and secondly, that it worked out so well that to this day most of the Monster High fandom thinks that's what really happened 😅❤️

[ahllohehn]

I headcanon Cleo as the oracle but not just because she’s a red head artist like Rachel Elizabeth dare 

But also because i think the idea of her having to have someone fallow her with a mattress or hand to catch her after she’s done with the prophecy is hilarious 

because I’m imagining that it’s a mandatory job that all campers have to do in shifts and Martyn hates it 

without fail he is always a no show when it’s his turn and he is downright shameless in his blatant ditching 

on the one and only occasion he did show she actually had a prophecy and he didn’t even try to catch her but he came up with a good excuse to get out of trouble 

after that day Cleo loathed him and petitioned for him to never be allowed to have oracle duty again at this point the counselors were ready to give up trying to get martyn to show and cleos word was the last nail in the coffin and as you can imagine martyn was ok with the arrangement

And So martyn won the battle but Cleo would not let him win the war because she would not let that slip( if she was a demigod her mom would totally be nemesis)

The only reason Martyn can get away with messing with Apollos oracle without getting obligated in retaliation is because martyn would be an Apollo kid

That was quite the read /pos

Cleo and Martyn beef will never not be funny

[mama-frog]

Session 7 Brainrot

I have so much to say about what happened this session so I'm gonna categorize this by person.

Gem: I find it incredibly interesting that she was the person given this task. A) Because she is the one the only Geminislay, B) Because she is like fresh meat to the watchers, C) Because of the infection she is already going through. The darkness spreading across her body probably made her more susceptible to the curse at first than anyone else on the server. She's such a strong player overall and the fact that she had a whole army behind her is terrifying.

Grian: The fact that he didn't get caught by the zombies says a lot about him. He's very good at running and hiding (especially from watcher stuff). I also want to point out WHERE he hid in the end of the session. The pesky bird went into a comfort nest. Definitely unintentional but definitely fun to think about.

Scott: Scott and Gem are, in my opinion, some of the smartest people on the server, so the fact that he didn't get caught doesn't surprise me and surprises me at the same time. Everytime Scott got boogey in a previous death game he did it in a way that was unsatisfactory for the watchers (Not actually killing and killing as soon as possible so the others weren't brewing up a pot of tasty negative emotions). He felt betrayed when Gem finally started to go after him (Even though she didn't go completely nuts until she turned red) and he has such a strong sense of loyalty to his allies. There's also some juxtaposition of him hiding underground while Grian hid in the air.

Martyn: Even though it was on a technicality, I think it's interesting that he was the only one not allowed to be infected. It's as if the watchers know that his chaos is secured and are trying to get the others in line with what they want to see. Also, he's just so damn good at being a red name, I feel like he's the only person to do it correctly in this series. I also feel like he was cheated out of his revenge plot on everyone else on the server because of the curse which might've been intentional on the Watcher's end.

Cleo: She is an icon and she IS the moment. I just love the irony of her being a zombie and not getting infected by the curse. I feel like her closeness to players like Martyn and Scott helped her in her ability to avoid the curse for so long. She's very smart with her allies this season.

Pearl: I'm terrified of how quick Pearl is to go insane when given the chance. Especially when it comes to her dogs. Tilly is always in her heart. This woman was YELLOW and decided on her own to bring up a warden when there already was one. And her gear is so well enchanted. She has learned a lot from previous seasons but she has also lost a bit of her sanity (Especially from double life). What a woman.

Joel: I don't know why he thought spawning 64 zombies so close to him and not on the others was a good idea, but man was it good comedy. Once he became a boogey he played really well though. He's so perfectly unhinged and after Lizzie dying he has very good reason to go insane on everyone else (The spine bit was cruel and unusual punishment). Underrated POV in my opinion.

Scar: Unhinged

Etho: Ok this part hinges on my theory that endermen are creatures created by the Watchers to interfere with the games. I fully believe that the watchers hated Etho being green so badly that they personally interfered to take him to yellow. The betrayal of your own tool killing you is a tasty snack for the watchers to enjoy. (Definitely not just Etho being washed up). Also the way he is so incredibly loyal to his team members even after being cursed. He's just a stand up guy.

Impulse: I just love the way him and Gem interact. He's like a proud dad whenever she does anything. That's it.

BDubs: I cackled when he got killed by a zombie again. Gem is hilarious for that. He did about as good as I expected under the curse. I do love all his interactions with Etho more than anything else. Those two are such unofficial soulmates (in a non-ship way).

Skizz: A true light on the server. All the better for the Watchers when he gets corrupted by the curse. He deserved to be mean after the heart got burned down.

Tango: This man's rage is so interesting. The way that it gets triggered most when people mess with his base is something I think could be explored (the ranch in double life, the ties base in limited life, and now the heart foundation).

Overall I have a lot of emotions about this last session

[syn4k]

list of hermits and empires characters who would do drugs and/or smoke cigarettes, ranked from most to least likely

that hermpires chainsmoker poll thats been going around kickstarted a discussion in my discord so i'm compiling the ideas here because honestly its hilarious

list under the cut. warning for... discussion of drugs and cigarettes. obviously

Fwhip: Definitely a chain smoker. Always has a pack in his pocket.

Iskall: that man's radioactive. she does not fear cigarettes. smokes regularly and is not bothered by it.

Cub: does so many weird drugs. high off something or other almost if not constantly i think

Ren: doesn't smoke but has the best weed on hermitcraft and you KNOW he uses it often

False: not exactly a chain smoker but smokes pretty often i think

Wels: maintains that he does NOT do anything of that sort thank you very much. Actually does. inhaling anything destroys him but he likes the taste and the high so he keeps going

Hypno: smokes everything but is pretty chill about it

Beef: also smokes everything and is even more chill about it

Stress: smokes poisonous mushrooms and is entirely unaffected.

Zedaph: definitely does some sort of drugs

Pearl: has a cigarette every now and then

Pix: also has a cigarette every now and then, not really his thing but he'll take one if offered (for esmp s1: i hold that pixandria has at least one hallucogenic that they keep for spiritual purposes but as the resident pixlriffs expert i also hold that pix got really stressed once, horfed an edible out of sheer desperation, and zoned back in in the middle of the night floating on his back in the river anxious out of his shit. he never touched anything of the sort ever again)

Joe: smokes only weed but does not smoke it often, only sometimes when offered

Katherine: smokes weed

Cleo: was a chainsmoker before s2, after that they got their act together

Impulse: not affected at all by anything (weed fumes give him slight headaches) and only does it when everyone else does because why not.

Bdubs: doesn't smoke (takes edibles very rarely) but rolls the best blunts

Lizzie: partakes sometimes but doesn't care for it

Joey: does drugs and smokes cigarettes in the presence of others just to look cool but actually gives zero shits about them

Xornoth: is always so smug about the fact that they smoke what they call "Evil Weed". fwhip steals some and tries it and it's literally just normal grass.

Mumbo: only smokes cigarettes and only when iskall's around. too anxious for drugs- tried weed once and saw the hat man and was shaking for three hours ljke a small dog afterwards

Joel: doesn't give two shits

Grian: nah

Hels: not interested

Sausage: can handle it pretty fine but stopped after he and joel had hermes because he didn't want to set a bad example for his kid

Scott: definitely some sort of drug dealer but i don't think he ever. does them himself?

Gem: doesn't because of concerns for her health, however in esmp s1 she smoked wizard weed (like gandalf) when the academy's paperwork piled too high for her to handle without help

Shelby: smoked weed but it made her really sick and after Katherine got mad at her for it she stopped. she's actually completely fine when it comes to everything else but she swore off trying so she never knew

Evil Xisuma: never did drugs or vaped with nicotine because the things they learned about addiction at school kept them up at night however they did vape water vapour.

Xisuma: has asthma

Jimmy: would quite literally die. Mans gets nauseous if there's a whiff of weed in the room he's in.

Jevin: eats cigarettes just to piss everybody off

[pancho-pinto]

Messages In Paper Boats

Fic based on this MASTERPIECE by @150en wrote this like a month ago and forgot to put it on tumblr. i think the tumblr people will like it too

Fandom: 3rd Life Words: 2,362 Rating: General Warnings: No Warnings Relationships: Etho/Joel, Grian & Joel Additional Tags: Modern Setting, Mentions of Everyone/Joel, Mentions of drinking, Slice of Life Summary: It's another week, another meet-up. It goes the same way it always does, of course. But the special drama of today is Grian being nosy in Joel's business. Hey, are those wedding bells? Joel says no, but no one can be sure.

Fic under cut

It's a random Tuesday when everyone gathers. The only day their schedules aligned, only for a couple hours though because Pearl has her part-time security job at seven while Gem and Bdubs have some botany-related assignment to finish—they rest, luckily, couple spare the couple hours of freedom. Between jobs and college work, Tuesday has to do, even if it means no drinking and absolutely no chance to do anything stupid.

As they talk loudly over greasy pizza and fizzing drinks, it's hard to ignore how much they've all changed. They are older now, whining and scoffing about college work, about part-times jobs and taxes, about annoying coworkers and pesky roommates (even if said roommate is sitting just two seats away), and more importantly, this is a chance for them to let out steam.

Free to complain and whine, for a couple hours. Which, all things considered, is a little fun and relieving as they group up and shit-talk everything.

The day reaches a point where they move on, having let out enough steam for at least another week before their meet-up again. It's a slippery slope, really, because Jimmy is the first to bring an anecdote about their past, then Grian is teasingly bringing another embarrassing anecdote of Jimmy's, and then it unravels from there.

The same dance and song. Their highschool days, their primary and kindergarten days. Old crushes, old relationships. Their time back at home, when the worst thing that could happen to them was having their phones taken at home. Between laughs, they bring up their sneak-outs late at night, hanging about at the park until early morning before sneaking back in with the tips of their noses and ears frozen.

Joel laughs, a little meanly, at the time Grian and got caught making out with Mumbo under the bleaches, and Grian glares at him, flustered.

"Oh, yeah, you of all people laugh."

Joel offers a smirk as the group falls silent, like scavengers watching a fight, ready to have their fill of drama. He kicks his legs on the edge of the table, ignoring the side-eyes and gasps despite the pizzas being devoured a while ago.

"Of course I laugh, it's hilarious." He taunts, and Grian's eyes darken. As he waits for Grian's response, he wipes his hands on a tissue, crumpling it then tossing it to Grian's head, whooping when it hits him dead-center in the forehead.

Impulse puts a hand on Grian's chest to keep him from jumping up, and Joel almost looks disappointed at that. After a breath, though, Grian finally replies.

"Let's talk about your relationships, why don't we?" Grian smiles, faux friendliness in this lips. Joel knows what Grian is about to bring up—despite not wanting to talk about it, he let's it happen because he kinda deserves it. He will retaliate later anyways, one way or another. They know where the other lives after all.

"Which one?" Cleo tacks in, laughing into the edge of her paper cup.

"Good question," Grian nods, pressing his index to his chin in thought. He makes a show to look around the group, everyone seemingly interested. It's nearly the end of their time together, with the trio who needs to leave first glance at the time on their phones. Grian spares a glance at the clock on the wall too, but continues regardless. "What about Lizzie? Longest, healthiest relationship you've had yet didn't work out. How about Jimmy? Your 'best bud', no homo there. Your drunk hook-ups with Impulse, Skizz and Scar? Those seven minutes in heaven with Martyn? I'm surprised nothing's happened with BigB and Scott yet—"

"Oh, it has," Scott chips in, devilish yet innocent smile on his lips.

Grian looks surprised for a moment, eyes wide as everyone else, looking between Scott and BigB for answers. Scott only smiles, and BigB sheepishly ignores everyone's eyes with his phone.

"Alright, there's that. We can find out next week." Grian states, cutting the curiosity short. He claps his hands, pointing at Joel as he squints. "Or that time you were supposed to help Gem get ready for her date and ended up taking her to dinner yourself?"

"Not my fault that loser couldn't measure up," Joel shoots back.

"Those two months were you and Cleo pretended to date?"

"Okay, but that was fun. I still remember your horrified face."

"And Pearl."

"What about Pearl?"

"You know what about Pearl."

Pearl huffs, rolling his eyes as Joel does. Like Vegas, no one talks about that. In fact, Joel rarely talks about any of this. Despite still being close friends with all of them, despite knowing they sometimes bring it up, he doesn't. Not because of shame, or some other feelings. He just doesn't, for whatever reason.

Grian brings no more details, squinting a little more. Joel can tell he's getting frustrated, because this is a topic that won't get under his skin. He knows, too, that Grian is running out of time. It just isn't the same once Pearl, Gem and Bdubs leave, even if they will find out by text later.

Just two more people to bring up.

"Okay, what about me."

Joel raises his brow, tilting his head slightly.

Grian grimaces, and visibly looks like he regrets even thinking about it. His eyes flicker beyond Joel, everyone knows.

"Okay then, why don't we talk about your situationship with Etho then."

Joel knows exactly which moment Grian is leading to. Everyone knows, too. It's something he's talked about a couple beers over his limit, red face and slurring slightly, stupid grin on his face and leaning against the closest person around.

It's a dumb memory, one he talks about fondly when tipsy and outright boasts about when drunk.

Summer camp, when they were kids. They had been assigned camp-mates, and their first activity was to create their own emblem. They had assigned themselves as Boat Boys, because Joel had snatched a tent with a ship print on the bottom. Joel had poked himself with the needle a couple times, Etho had twice as much, but they hadn't been the last to finish to that was good enough. A long hexagon with a green border, the letter B messily threaded, their little emblem then sown into their sleeves. Joel had poked Etho when he sew it in, Etho had tried to not poke him but threatened to, because they had been dumb enough to not take their shirts off.

For Joel, that was a sign. A good one. They were both idiots.

So they spent time together, wearing the same clothes as all the other kids, with only their emblems to show that they were paired up. At first, with their bickering and hard to agree decisions, they spent little time with each other. But they had drifted back every night, sharing one tent, unable to sleep and ultimately talking under they were both too tired and passed out.

Aside from that, their day activities involved them being by each other. Always in pairs, during hikes and afternoon walks. Paired up during kayaking and always sticking with each other when they had to split into bigger groups. They would sit together during breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, stealing bits from each other's tray just to annoy themselves and the other. But Etho would take the carrots from Joel's plate, and Joel would take the mushy peas. They would trade half-drank milk cartoons just so they could make sure to try all flavors. Etho would get them extra servings of food because he 'looked skinny' and Joel would get them bigger pieces of dessert because he was a sweetheart to the staff.

So it made sense that they became friends.

They got closer, in all senses of the word. They stuck with each other, getting into petty fights like stealing Bdubs' horse plush (even if Etho and Bdubs got along), throwing buckets of water on Martyn and Jimmy (mostly avoiding their partners because they couldn't find the right moment), ravaging through Grian and Scar's tent for a block of chocolate they divided among the other kids (when Etho also had one, sharing it only with Joel between giggles), and many other activities that could technically be excused under guise of playing around.

The others knew they were being malicious. Joel thought he was having the time of his life. Etho looked satisfied, too—at some point, he'd even stopped deflecting and accepted the blame proudly, which seemed to make the others madder, Joel just smiled wider each time.

"So?" Grian asks, sending everyone to look at Joel.

Joel thinks about it a little longer, humming briefly.

He remembered the camp counselor's cabins, the places they weren't allowed to be at. Joel knew they had booze, but he didn't really care for any of that. They already had trouble sleeping, and he doubted drinking would help. But he would drag Etho along sometimes, just to hide from everyone for a bit, doing nothing. They couldn't be loud because they would get caught—in fact, they could nothing but sit and chill out, which was fine. Etho never complained, so Joel assumed it was fine.

They had, however, stolen some markers from inside the cabins just for the hell of it. And they had drawn on the walls. Lines of green mixing into blue, blue mixing into green, some orange to represent their artistic rendition of the campfire they had both got burnt in. The mark on his right hand was present, on the outer-most right side, two inches below his wrist. Nothing big, and it didn't hurt after a couple days, but when he wrote 'Joel was here', his eyes drifted to the burnt mark.

He added a smiley face, because he was grinning despite having being hurt.

Near the bottom, Etho sit down to write something too. Joel threw himself on Etho's back, arms around his neck and chin on his shoulder, and Etho had stopped writing, almost having expected Joel's surprise clinginess. Etho finished writing after a couple seconds, neither talking.

'Boat boys 4 eva'

Joel thought the '4 eva' was lame, but he smiled at the overall message, giving a nod of approval. They were the Boat Boys, menaces of camp, and they would always be as promised under the stars, even when camp was over.

On their last afternoon, they had met up beside the counselor's cabin again. Etho had been the one to invite him this time. They sat a while, talking about the activities they did, their pranks, their friends and temporary enemies. They talked about going back to school, about extracurriculars and classes, about things they missed back at home and their beds. Etho talked a lot about his bed, Joel noticed and teased appropriately.

When the sky got darker and the chill snuck under Joel's shirt, he rapidly rummaged through his pocket, pulling out a paper boat. It had a small heart sticker on the hull, which Joel also stole from the cabin. He gave Etho a sheet of stickers too, grinning proudly when Etho's eyes lit up at the shimmering stars.

Etho rolled his eyes a second after, because he also pulled a sticker sheet and gave it to Joel. It was gold stars, compared to Etho's silver ones.

Joel gloated about the paper boat though, because Etho didn't have something like that. Etho only sighed, but he smiled under his mask, because Joel was happy.

"What about it?" Joel says eventually. He blinks back slowly to current life, the too bright summer afternoon sun, everyone stuck inside Cleo and Scott's flat. Different, because everyone was there, not like in that little camp hide-out.

"Oh, don't play coy. We all know what was inside that boat."

Joel stretches his arms over his head, arching his back as he bumped shoulders with Jimmy and Mumbo. He smiled, "Oh, don't you know, it's all make believe." He closes his eyes for a moment, the tension easing from his arms once he brings them down, sighing as he rolls his head. He has homework too, he remembers idly, wondering if he can put it off until the weekend. "We were just kids playing pretend. You know a playground proposal isn't real."

Grian looks at him with a glare disguised as a squint, meanwhile the others dance between hesitation and belief.

Until footsteps cut the momentary silence, stopping right behind Joel. A hand snakes around his neck under his chin, firmly yet gently guiding his head back, and he closes his eyes as lips crash into his. He opens his eyes when the other pulls back, catching Etho pulling his mask back on. He doesn't miss the dumb smirk on his lips though, but he does miss the hand touching him when Etho walks back to his spot on the couch.

"You liar!"

Grian screeches, Impulse too slow to stop him from jumping to his feet. But an alarm go off, and there is a collective sadness. It's quick goodbyes and threats to meet up again, then the trio is dashing out first, the rest following a short while after. Scott complains about the mess while Cleo accepts defeat, everyone hurrying a little faster to spill out.

"I know where you live," Grian says as they walk out.

"I know where you live too," Joel retorts.

But Jimmy is pushing Grian to his car quickly, giving waves and smiles, Tango and Gem trailing behind. He waves at them shortly before being pulled in the opposite direction. The walk is short, the unspoken agreement that he is not going back to his own place for a bit. Can't risk Grian walking from his room to Joel's to strangle him after all.

"Is your room locked?" Etho asks.

"Of course it is," Joel replies.

"Just checking."

Etho's arm lets go of Joel's side, pulling to the side where he finds Joel's hand. And Joel is more than happy to hold hands, despite how sweaty their hands will get.

Quietly, as they discuss dinner with the sound of their footsteps, a metallic clink goes ignored as their hands find each other.

Etho + Joel | Sick fic

"You're sick."

Etho states, rather firmly. Joel only looks at him, eyes slightly squinted, trying to focus the three Ethos into one—and absolutely failing—still, he points at one.

"You are sick," he retorts with a more accusatory tone in his voice.

Etho lifts his head with a probable eye-roll, though Joel is too busy fixating on his neck. Etho's Adam's apple, the line of his jaw pointing to his chin, the muscle that cuts diagonal. He squints a little more, grounding himself on pale skin as he feels himself wanting to throw up or pass out.

Etho moves closer, and Joel now has a face full of Etho's chest, not having realized they had been standing so close to begin with. Where are they, anyways?

He pushes back to look around, very slowly, and sees… walls. He nods like he understands, like everything makes sense, because of course, he is—

Well, could be anywhere, he is not sure.

"Did you kidnap me?" He accuses when he looks back at Etho, looking up at him—more so the line between his face and mask, such a sharp contrast that is. He raises a hand to touch, like Etho is a statue or some sort of unmoving thing for his enjoyment. Cool skin and soft fabric graze his fingertips, then he pokes him back slightly. "Where am I, Eefo? You're so obse—"

Joel headbutts Etho's chest as he feels another wave of nausea, the impact enough to keep everything down at the expense of a throbbing head. He whines or groans or makes some sort of noise, a pathetic one because it makes Etho snake an arm to hold him up, a hand on his back rubbing soothing strokes.

"There, there," Etho almost mocks, and Joel is sure the little tug of neck muscle is him rolling his eyes again. "And please don't throw up on me."

Joel thinks Etho deserves it.

"'m not sick," he says instead.

Etho hums, placating him.

In the meantime, Joel closes his eyes, breathing out hard as a wave of heat washed down his body like a chill. Awful because he can feel the sweat on his skin, the slightly dampness of his clothes that are not already sticking to his body. And Etho's hand on his back is nice, very, but it is also creating heat.

He chuckles, "You're hot. Stupid, silly Canadian man."

Etho hums again.

If Etho thinks not replying is going to get him to settle down and even rest, then—

He is right.

At some point, between breaths and mental nags, Joel slugs against Etho, held up by him. He breaths slow and shallowly, and Etho waits another second before checking to make sure, tilting his head to the side to look down at a peaceful face.

Despite the sweat, the hairs sticking to his forehead, flushed cheeks on too pale skin, and dark bags under his eyes, Etho thinks Joel looks peaceful. Or at peace, at least.

Carefully, he maneuvers and picks him up, taking the two steps to the bed Joel had rolled off once already. This time, however, as he wraps and tucks him into bed, he slides beside him, holding him against his chest to make sure he does not make friends with the floors again.

Fleetingly, as he drifts off himself, he thinks about his plans for the day—thoughts rapidly overtaken by the memory of Joel practically crashing through his door and passing out at his feet. He huffs, smiling under his mask as Joel sighs under him.

At least Joel went looking for help and did not push through his current state alone.