#clearly this girl does not respect/care about us lol

[acrosstimeandspace]

at least i got like. closer to six? hours of sleep even if i kept waking up

[mya-valentine]

Requesting Headcanons for Kinich, Heizou, Sethos. (I just realized I'm requesting all 3 green eyes guys lol) S/o a cat girl, rarely let them touch her animal feature but when she does it was reveal the reason why she rarely let them, was that she purr easily when received affection especially when petting her animal feature, it makes her feline instinct slip out. Bonus use a laser on her or magnifying glass she would chase like a cat without realizing it. Wonder how they would use this cute fact about their s/o hehe~

Headcanon: Kinich, Heizou, and Sethos With a Cat-Girl S/O

Kinich

Kinich’s S/O is protective of her cat-like features—whether it’s her ears, tail, or something else. At first, he finds it a bit curious but doesn’t press the matter, respecting her boundaries. Every time he tries to touch them or comes close, she playfully bats his hand away with a sly smile, though there’s a hint of shyness behind her teasing.

One day, when she’s feeling particularly relaxed or affectionate, she finally lets him pet her ears. Kinich, being naturally curious and gentle, takes the opportunity with the utmost care. To his surprise, as he strokes her, he notices her purring—soft at first, then louder as she leans into his touch, her entire demeanor shifting to something more feline. Her usual composure slips, and she melts into the affection.

His S/O quickly realizes she’s purring and tries to pull away, clearly embarrassed by how easily her feline instincts took over. She might blush or try to laugh it off, but Kinich is too fascinated by this adorable reaction to let it go. He finds her purring not just endearing, but something he wants to experience more often—though he won’t push her too much.

Kinich quickly realizes that he now holds the key to his S/O’s most vulnerable and cute side. He doesn’t abuse this knowledge, but he’ll occasionally use it to his advantage when he wants her to relax or get her out of a bad mood. He’ll gently stroke her ears or tail and watch as she becomes putty in his hands, purring despite her attempts to stay composed.

When she starts purring, her feline instincts really kick in—she might stretch out lazily, nuzzle against him, or even make little chirping sounds. Kinich finds this absolutely charming, and while he won’t admit it outright, he loves seeing her in this more carefree, vulnerable state. It’s a side of her no one else gets to see, and he feels honored she trusts him enough to let her guard down.

Kinich discovers her playful side by accident. Maybe one day, he’s using a magnifying glass or has a small laser pointer, and he catches her instinctively following the dot or light across the floor, completely unaware of what she’s doing. She’ll chase after it with focus and determination, her feline instincts fully taking over, while Kinich watches in silent amusement.

Once he learns about this little quirk, he can’t help but tease her every now and then. If she’s in a playful mood, he’ll whip out the laser pointer, moving it in random patterns across the floor or walls, watching her chase it with all the seriousness of a cat hunting prey. She might realize halfway through what she’s doing and stop abruptly, embarrassed, but Kinich will just smile at her fondly.

Whenever she seems stressed or tense, Kinich knows exactly what to do. He’ll gently start petting her animal features, coaxing out that soft purr that always seems to calm her down. Her worries melt away as her instincts take over, and Kinich takes quiet pleasure in knowing that he can make her feel so at ease.

No matter how many times it happens, his S/O will always get flustered after purring in his presence. She’ll try to maintain her cool, but Kinich loves seeing her soft side peek through her usually confident and composed exterior. He’s careful not to tease her too much, but his amused smirks and gentle jabs about her “feline side” never fail to make her blush.

When Kinich wants to playfully tease her, he might drop hints about her cat-like habits. “I wonder how well you’d do in a game of chase…” he’ll muse, before subtly pointing a laser near her. She might swat at him in protest, but deep down, she enjoys how much fun they have together with her feline tendencies.

Kinich eventually uses her feline instincts as a way to bond with her, understanding that while she might be embarrassed about it, it’s also part of who she is. He’ll indulge her playfulness, letting her chase the light or even play with soft objects when she’s in the mood. This helps create a deeper connection between them, as he embraces every side of her without judgment.

Despite her initial embarrassment, Kinich adores her feline quirks. He finds them endlessly charming and unique, never growing tired of the way her tail flicks or how her ears twitch when she’s focused or excited. Even when she tries to be serious, he knows that beneath her composed exterior is a playful cat ready to chase after something fun.

Heizou

Heizou, ever the sharp detective, noticed early on that his cat-girl S/O was particularly protective of her animal features. Whether it’s her ears or tail, she skillfully dodges his casual touches. This piques his curiosity, but Heizou doesn’t push—he enjoys a good mystery and patiently waits for the right moment to uncover why she’s so cautious.

One day, when she’s feeling especially comfortable and trusting, she finally allows Heizou to pet her ears. Heizou, being gentle and thoughtful, takes his time, observing her reaction with keen interest. As soon as he starts, she begins to purr, her usual cool composure slipping as she leans into his touch. The sound is soft at first, but as Heizou continues, her purring intensifies, and her feline instincts fully take over.

She quickly realizes what’s happening and pulls away, flustered and trying to regain her usual control. Her face heats up, and she tries to act like nothing happened, but Heizou finds it absolutely adorable. He can’t resist teasing her, flashing that knowing smile of his as he says something like, “I didn’t realize you were so easy to please…”

Now that Heizou knows her secret—that her feline instincts make her purr and slip into a more vulnerable state—he’s sure to use this knowledge to his advantage in a playful way. When she’s trying to act serious or independent, he might casually brush a finger along her ear or tail, just to see her reaction. He loves how quickly she melts into the affection, even if she tries to hide it.

Heizou quickly learns that his S/O purrs not just when she’s flustered but also when she’s content and relaxed. If she’s ever stressed or tired, he’ll gently pet her animal features, coaxing out that soft, soothing purr. It’s his secret technique to calm her down, and it works every time. She might protest at first, but she can’t resist the affection for long.

One day, Heizou is playing with a magnifying glass for some detective work, and he catches her instinctively chasing the dot of light across the room. She doesn’t even realize what she’s doing at first, so focused on catching it. Heizou watches in silent amusement, barely able to contain his laughter as his normally composed S/O displays such a cute, cat-like instinct.

After realizing this, Heizou makes it a little game. When she’s feeling playful or he’s in a teasing mood, he’ll whip out his magnifying glass and watch her chase the light. She’ll try to act like she’s above it, but eventually, her instincts kick in, and she’s darting after the light with the same focus she’d have in any serious situation. Heizou will make little comments like, “I guess you’re just too fast for me,” as she finally catches the light.

When she finally realizes what she’s doing, she’ll stop abruptly, trying to act like nothing happened. Heizou, ever the teasing boyfriend, will grin and say something like, “You’re full of surprises. I didn’t know you were so easily distracted,” with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Heizou considers her feline quirks to be his secret weapon in keeping her happy. Whenever she’s in a grumpy or stubborn mood, he’ll gently pet her ears or play with the magnifying glass, knowing it’s the quickest way to see her let her guard down. He never takes it too far, though—he loves that she’s trusting enough to let him see this softer side of her.

Heizou finds immense joy in their playful dynamic. Her feline instincts, like chasing lights or purring under his touch, make their relationship more fun and lighthearted. It’s something only he gets to experience, and he treasures those moments when she lets her guard down completely around him.

Though he’s usually teasing, Heizou is also incredibly sweet when his S/O allows him to pet her. He loves the feeling of her relaxing in his arms, her soft purring filling the room. In those moments, he’s content to sit in silence, stroking her animal features and letting her feel completely at ease. It’s a special bond they share, one that makes him feel closer to her than anyone else.

Heizou is endlessly amused and charmed by her feline quirks. Whether it’s her purring or her instinct to chase after lights, he finds it all incredibly endearing. He loves that her quirks are something he gets to explore and play with, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Heizou never misses a chance to playfully tease her about her cat-like nature. If she’s trying t be serious or tough, he might lean in and whisper, “I wonder what it would take to get you purring again,” with a wink. Though she’ll act annoyed, she secretly enjoys the attention and affection he gives her.

Sethos

Sethos, always observant, notices that his S/O is particularly guarded about her feline features. Whether it’s her ears or tail, she’s careful to keep them out of his reach. He’s intrigued by this, but he respects her boundaries, seeing it as another mystery to unravel over time. He enjoys the slow process of earning her trust.

After spending more time together and developing trust, there’s a moment when his cat-girl S/O finally allows Sethos to touch her ears or tail. Sethos, ever the calm and composed type, gently runs his fingers along them, fully expecting some kind of reaction. What he didn’t expect was for her to start purring, her usual composure slipping as she leans into his touch. Her feline instincts take over as she purrs uncontrollably, much to her own embarrassment.

The moment she realizes what she’s doing, she pulls away, her face flushed as she tries to act like nothing happened. Sethos finds it endlessly amusing, his lips curling into a smug smile as he softly chuckles, remarking something like, “I suppose even the most elusive creatures have their weaknesses.”

Now that Sethos knows her secret—that she purrs easily when receiving affection, especially when her animal features are involved—he’s quick to use this knowledge to his advantage. Whenever she’s trying to act serious or distant, he’ll gently touch her ears or tail, just to see her react. Her instant, unfiltered purring makes him smirk with satisfaction.

If his S/O ever feels stressed or overwhelmed, Sethos will quietly sit by her side, petting her ears or gently stroking her tail until the soft purring begins. It becomes his secret way of calming her down, and although she might protest at first, she can never resist the comfort of his touch for long.

One day, Sethos is fiddling with a small laser pointer, idly moving the light across the room. To his amusement, his S/O’s eyes lock onto the light, and before she realizes it, she’s chasing it around like a true cat. She’s completely focused on catching the little dot of light, oblivious to her surroundings as her feline instincts kick in.

Once he knows about her playful side, Sethos doesn’t hesitate to use it as a way to break her usual composure. If she’s ever being stubborn or overly serious, he’ll whip out the laser pointer, watching with a mischievous glint in his eyes as she chases it across the room. He finds it absolutely adorable, though he never teases her too much about it—just enough to enjoy her reaction.

The moment she realizes she’s been chasing the light like a cat, she stops in her tracks, flustered and trying to regain her composure. Sethos watches with an amused expression, letting out a low chuckle before commenting something like, “I didn’t know you could be so… playful.” His teasing tone is gentle, but it always leaves her blushing.

Knowing that her feline side makes her vulnerable to affection and playful distractions, Sethos uses it strategically. If she’s ever annoyed with him or trying to ignore him, he’ll either lightly pet her ears or dangle the laser pointer nearby. It never fails to get her attention, and it’s his secret way of winning her over in their little playful battles.

Despite his usual calm and chilled demeanor, Sethos has a soft spot for his S/O’s purring. He finds it incredibly endearing, and during their quiet moments together, he’ll absentmindedly stroke her ears or tail, listening to the rhythmic sound of her purrs. It’s a moment of vulnerability he cherishes, knowing it’s a side of her only he gets to see.

Sethos sees her feline quirks as a way to bring lightheartedness into their relationship. Her instinctual reactions, like purring or chasing the laser, give them both moments of laughter and joy. He values these moments as much as their deeper, more serious interactions, appreciating the balance they bring to their bond.

Sethos, ever the strategist, knows just when to bring out the laser pointer or offer her affectionate petting. Whether it’s to ease her tension or to gently tease her, he’s always mindful of the effect it has on her. It becomes a playful part of their dynamic, something that makes their relationship feel uniquely their own.

.

.

.

Masterlist

[aihoshiino]

Your answer to this ask really interested me. Can you elaborate on what you understand Kana's long-term arc to be, and how Ai might have had a similar arc if she'd lived?

So with the caveat that I'm both talking about just my interpretation of the text and also kind of like... In An Ideal World where the industry commentary didn't basically die off past a certain point, I think Kana's arc is about her seeking professional validation in the entertainment industry in order to fill in for her lack of personal and social validation.

We know that for Kana, those two things ended up intertwined in her brain from a very young age because of her shitty mom and the equally shitty adults around her - Kana was taught in no uncertain terms that the only way she would receive validation - and, to an extent, be treated with basic kindness and respect - if she performed well as a child actress and continued to get work. This is why she clings to the entertainment industry even long past the long past the point at which it was obviously no longer working out for her and why she's so joyful and relieved when it seems to her like Kaburagi has recognised her efforts and rewarded them.

That's not too downplay how much Kana genuinely loves acting or how sincerely passionate she feels about it as her craft but this environment she's in nevertheless forces her to compromise her art in a way that prioritizes being "easy to work with" and convenient to other people - because she's been taught that the only way she gets positive attention and reinforcement from people is by doing just that.

You can see the shape of this arc best in Tokyo Blade, I think, and especially in the way Akane fails to reach her while Aqua manages it - Akane simply doesn't understand Kana on a personal level in the way she so clearly thinks she does because she values Kana as a performer more than a person. But Aqua actually has the understanding of and mutual care and investment in Kana just as a person to actually connect with her and give her what she needs to shine.

(Sidebar but the failure to have Akane properly break down her idealisation and biases of Kana in any meaningful way is also kind of an issue in the KanaKane relationship but that's a whole other post lol)

So in that hypothetical ideal world where Kana's arc was wrapped up properly, I think it would end on the note of carrying that idea to a fully realized conclusion, of Kana finding (or really, coming to understand that she has already found) people who love and value her as Kana Arima the girl regardless of who she is or isn't as an actress or celebrity. This would teach Kana that she doesn't need to feed herself though the entertainment industry meat grinder to be valued as a person and that the people who actually matter will love and support her no matter what.

I probably don't need to point out the similarities with Ai here - using the entertainment industry as a proxy to find love and personal fulfilment - and the hypothetical conclusion to Kana's arc here feels to me like the logical conclusion for Ai's in a world where she never gets Ryosuke'd. It kind of is already the conclusion, in broad strokes - Ai achieves fulfilment and love by committing herself to a relationship that she cannot withdraw from or hold at arm's length. In other words, she finds happiness not as an idol but as a mother - a person.

[ananke-xiii]

More on the power of resurrection as the "apple of discord": Chuck vs Billie.

In Chuck's mind Death is not a problem because he controls space and time... he's actually right. I mean, he's definitely shitting his pants at this point but he has never respected Death enough to be worried about her (and his narrative shows just that since Death dies four times in SPN lol).

Chuck manipulates space and time and he's clearly pro resurrection. In his world people can resurrect either through demon deals or magic. Or if he says so, obvs. There always seems to be a price to pay for this, though, because Chuck is obviously the type of god that likes human suffering "for the plot".

Amara in all her "evillness" has a different point of view on the matter, for her resurrection is a gift. Which is still problematic ("what you are regarding as a gift is a problem for you to solve") but offers a new perspective: no deal, no magic, you need it? You get it.

Then there's Jack whose command of the power is still wobbly but shows all the potential to disrupt Chuck's narrative. His take on resurrection is closer to Amara: he doesn't know it but it's his desire to see Dean getting what he wants that sparkled life back into Castiel. You want it? You get it. Dangerous.

Billie, on the other hand, is NOT part of Chuck's family, so to speak. She's very ambivalent about rules: she doesn't like it when others bend them but she really enjoys being the one who bends them. Her initial affiliation and perhaps romantic connection with Crowley while many reapers "sided" with Castiel in s9 tells us that she has her own specific ideas about basically everything.

When she becomes Death, she doesn't want humans performing resurrection spells because she wants to be the one who decides who lives and who dies, thus taking on a role that is not hers to take.

S14 shows us her hypocrisy brillantly: Dean wants to die but she says that he will live; Rowena wants Crowley back (to which she should have, perhaps, been amenable as per above) but she says NO. She hides herself behind the "death books" or whatever they're called and the "natural order" for whatever it means in SPN but Rowena calls her out: it isn't fair.

And she's right. Billie ignores Rowena, doesn't care about reapers dying (she even kills one herself) and only shows up because Rowena held Sam hostage and planned on killing him.

What Billie wants, though, is very much in tune with her role as Death: she wants things "as they were", heaven and hell, humans back on the "normal" timeline, "everything in its place and a place for everything" type of mentality. She wants something she can't have in a world where God, who controls time and space, keeps changing the plot.

A mentality that clearly contrasts with her s11 rebellious streak where she would have loved to toss a Winchester into the Empty, reap God and ultimately fucking harvest the Veil for souls! THAT girl had 99 problems but being conservative was not one of them.

So why does she change? Well, becoming Death would do that to a girl but I don't think that's it. I think she kinda likes it, to be honest.

No, my conclusion is based on what she can't stop repeating at least once per season: Castiel stabbed her in the back. Billie is holding a massive grudge that she very wrongly takes on Dean. Well, maybe not so "wrongly" per se since we know why Cas acts like he does, but when she blames Dean for being chaos incarnate and a disruptor of order she's sooo off target.

If there is one character who wants order and "everything in its place and a place for everything" is Dean Winchester.

No, there is one disruptor in SPN and it's Castiel. And HE stabbed her in the back.

And his resurrection (via Jack) is what should have tipped Chuck off (as I've been trying to demonstrate with all these yappings about cas and resurrection).

Basically Chuck's mortal enemy is Jack who bestows or revokes resurrections as he pleases. But he doesn't see him. Billie's mortal enemy is Castiel, creator of cosmic consequences that dismantle the coveted "balance". And she doesn't see him. Like snakes in the grass.

[thefiercest]

TMNT 2012: Father Splinter 3 - Donatello

(Sorry it´s been a while)

I love Splinter's relationship with Donnie so much. (Mostly because I find it funny)

I love how out of all of the turtles, Donnie is the one who tries to question Splinter´s wisdom and methods the most. He always seems to challenge Splinter in that area, like he is craving for the day when Splinter is proven wrong.

I like to think that Donnie and Splinter used to butheads when it came to ninjutsu. Donnie seems very insecure about his fighting skills, which is why he is always trying to think ahead and smart his way out of the worst situations. Donnie seems to know his strength and his limits, better than his brothers´ but though that was good, Splinter wanted him to push past his limits.

However, Donnie always seems to try to prove something to Splinter. Like he is just as strong as his brothers? Brains is better than ninjutsu or something like that?

¨Master Splinter, I think there is a lesson. You know like, brains over bravery or...something?¨

¨I think the something part is most accurate.¨

(Splinter´s responses are the best)

It's like they almost make a game out of it. (With Splinter always winning)

Donnie may get annoyed, when Splinter lectures him about how he overthinks and how he criticize him on not trusting his instincts but Splinter only does that because he is trying to raise Donnie´s confidence.

Donnie is more confident with his brain than he is on his skills as a ninja and he prefers to stay where he knows he is the most strongest, where he is comfortable.

Splinter hates how hard his son is on himself, and Donnie hates feeling constantly misunderstood. Out of all his brothers, Donnie is the one who takes after Splinter the least and sometimes, it is hard for them to relate or understand each other but Splinter always tries.

He seems to enjoy his and Donnie´s usual banter.

¨With all due respect, Sensei, I can´t keep fighting alien technology with a 6 foot staff. I was hoping to upgrade my weapon.¨

¨Mmm. A 7-foots staff. Interesting.¨

¨No, I meant using modern technology.¨

¨Aah, a solar-powered staff.¨

¨I´m serious, Sensei!¨

¨I know. And yes, you may upgrade your weapon.¨

¨That´s totally unfair! You can´t just- Wait, did you say yes?¨

(Lol. I love them so much) 

I also like how unlike sons, Splinter does not judge or mock Donnie for his crush on April. He is very fatherly in that area. When Donnie was upset about April being gone, Splinter was the one who comforted him and when he was being a bit...obsessive. Splinter had a private conversation with him (That we didn't get to really see because of stupid Nick!)

Splinter never crushed Donnie's hopes in April liking him back. When raising his sons, Splinter not doubted feared that they would grow up never finding true love and having a family of their own. He thought his sons would only have each other in the world. So, when April came along and he noticed his usual reality son, crushing on a normal human girl...he allowed his son to have that hope, not having the heart to tell him that April returning his feelings may be a difficult task.

However, when Splinter learned that Donnie was stalking April, he had to snap his son back into reality.

"My son, for someone so intelligent the obvious often eludes you."

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE SAID AFTER THAT!!

Splinter probably thought, what the others thought, that Donnie stood no chance with April and that he was just awaiting heartbreak but he did not want to say that it was impossible. Even so, his son was clearly not taking the hint from April, so Splinter took it upon himself to gently explain to his son that he could not force her to like him and to give her space.

Remember that episode when Donnie first made the retro-mutagen?

If that episode did not show how much Donnie and Splinter care for each other, I don't know what will.

Donnie was so proud and happy that he made the retro-mutagen, not only to help April's dad but his dad as well. Donnie was a fixer and he wanted to give Splinter something that he unfairly lost. He could not give him back his wife or his daughter, but he could give him back his humanity.

However, Splinter was hesitant...

"Save April's father first and then I will...consider it."

Donnie did not understand why his father did not want to take the retro-mutagen right away but he did not question, assuming it was just a lot for his father to take in and then...Stockman, in his ugly fly mutation glory, came in ruined everything.

Donnie was so conflicted. On one hand, he knew he had to save April and her father but on the other...what about his father? Splinter has been a mutant rat, forced to live in the sewers with them for almost over 15 years and Donnie wanted so badly to give him back the freedom he lost, for him to be happy. Thankfully, Splinter made the choice for him, telling him he must save Kirby but Donnie was still sad, sad for his father.

What Donnie did not understand though is that Splinter did not want to turn back. Yes, maybe he had considered it, wondering what it would be like if he returned being a normal human in society but he no doubt already knew his answer was going to be No.

For one thing, if his sons were going to remain mutants then so was he and another thing, Splinter, I believe, considered his mutation almost like a ...rebirth? A second chance.

As a human he had Tang Shen, Miwa, a clan that admired him but when he lost that, he moved to New York and had nothing to keep him going. He was alone but as a mutant, he gained a happy home, and his four amazing sons. His sons were his second chance to be the father he couldn't be with Miwa and he does not ever regret following that man in the ally that day.

Hamato Yoshi was Splinter's past and he did not wish to return back to it. He was content and happy where he was now.

So...why would he want to change that?

"Do not fret, my son. I am constant with what I have become. I have no place in the human world anymore. This is my home, and you four are my family."

I mean...it's true. What is waiting for Splinter up there when his sons are down in the sewers?

Even so, I just love how Donnie is always determined to take care of their father. How he wanted Splinter to have that retro-mutagen and how, he worked very hard to get Karai back for him.

Donnie cares for his father so much and Splinter does in return. Splinter is always there to help ease his overthinking son's mind, give him advice when he needs it, and shows his appreciation for all that he does.

"I know how hard you have tried, Donatello. Some things are just not meant to be..."

It was sad and it obviously broke Splinter's heart but even though he was in grieve, he still made sure to acknowledged how hard Donnie has worked and assure him that it was not his fault that he could not find a cure for his daughter.

Overall, these two have a great caring father and son relationship.

(With some fun banter added to the mix) :)

Leonardo

Raphael

[nfcv-saltmine]

this article is a fucking disaster but HOOOOOO THERE'S SO MANY THINGS WRONG IN THIS PARTICULAR AREA

Haha, like what? :) The fact that this is proof that they do not give a single shit about anything? :) Other than using pre-existent material to tell their own stories with their own characters? :)

It's funny, actually. This was meant to happen, when you think about it. The first Netflixvania created a legacy of "we know nothing about the source material so we do whatever the fuck we want!". Of course a sequel would follow that legacy... except now, the original show counts as "source material". :) That's what we call karma, guys. ❤️

No more needing a human to practice devil forging, now a machine can do it. Goodbye the devils forged being beasts with the intelligence of a dog, except for ONE fly-guy (wich the capacity to talk and reason is a mystery), and being very very loyal to their creator. Hello devils who can talk and sing and still have their human minds and are designed to be more humanoid and "beautiful" and who's loyalty to their master is feeble (even fly guy was loyal to isaac, but let's be fair, you can hardly be loyal to a fucking machine). Goodbye Morning Star, hello the random whip that we have to pretend is important now. Goodbye "lol crosses confuse vampires that's why it hurts them", hello "actually it DOES hurt them because crosses are holy". And hello... this.

I don't know if they are going to make a "haha your father was so dumb" joke about Alucard's name in the show itself. It wouldn't surprise me, I can easily see Richter say it and Alucard glaring at him in a "god you still think you're funny" way. :) But honestly, whether or not they do it, it doesn't matter. Because this right there... this is the proof that Bradley don't care. This is the proof that he either did not watch the show he's making a sequel for (like Ellis did not play the games or even watched playthroughs of it ❤️), or he did with his brain turned off. Maybe he found Alucard and Trevor's relationship to be so fucking funny all he wants is recreate it in his show. :) Because clearly, that's what we're gonna get. Literally the first thing Alucard did when he appeared at the end of Nocturne was mock the Belmonts. It's only going downhill from here.

Forget about the games being clear about Alucard choosing to go by this name (the FIRST thing you see when you go on his wiki page is his BIRTH NAME.), he didn't need to go this far to realize that... because the fucking show made Alucard HIMSELF state that he's going to go by Alucard now, the "name of his mother's people", to oppose his father!! Every. Single. Nfcv fan knows his name used to be Adrian. BUT THE GUY WHO IS WRITING THE SEQUEL DOESN'T? It is such a CLEAR evidence to me that, just like Ellis for the first show, the writers of Nocturne don't give a shit about the material that came before them. They didn't bother making proper researches and taking notes. They just wanted to tell their stories!! With their characters!! They don't care about the inconsistencies they create in the process.

See, as much as i hate NFCV with a burning passion ❤️ I still would have had more respect for Nocturne if it had followed what had been established by it. Because this far, all it kept from the first show, is: every girl being either a fridge or a #girlboss, Belmonts being awful and jokes to be mocked, Alucard being a cunt to Belmonts, CHURCH BAD theme, and bad, often mean-spirited writing. Oh and "Alucard is the coolest fr fr".

God this is going to be an awful season. I cannot wait to see Alucard and Annette team up to shit on Richter and his trauma.

[ladyimaginarium]

mini gangsta fandom rant bc im&. annoyed bc i& remember seeing a bunch of hcs back in the day of how like. striker never cared about beretta at all whatsoever & only ever cared about marco. or ppl just blatantly erasing or removing her autonomy & influence & power in the storyline & reducing her as a prop to be used for the male characters' angst or otherwise she's just there to look pretty instead of being. yknow. a villain. or g-d forbid a person. & ignoring & erasing beretta both as an individual character but also as a major person in striker's life. or that striker's lowkey violent or abusing beretta w/ her almost always being on the receiving end of all kinds of abuse or people implying that she's just plain stupid or dedicated enough to striker to be just his toy to be used for his own pleasures or that they're not equals in any way. despite canon indicating nothing of the sort & im& just like. are. ARE WE READING THE SAME FUCKING MANGA LMAO

like. striker literally NEVER, EVER, reacts negatively to her. striker CARES for her, he RESPECTS her, he PROTECTS her, he TAKES CARE of her, he TREATS HER LIKE A PERSON. striker NEVER abuses her. he NEVER swears at her. he has NEVER told her to mind her own business, he NEVER silences her or even worse, NEVER swears at her & NEVER hurts her like he had with spas when he told striker & beretta that he wouldn't be returning to the second destroyers. he NEVER said or did anything uncouth like that to her.

if anything, it's the exact opposite.

maverick literally tells spas that beretta is striker's weakness. which, coming from someone like striker, that's a hell of a compliment. she clearly wants to fuck him & expresses sexual interest & desire for him. they're almost always touching. she reaches out to hold his hand. after she "gifts" him constance, he tells her that she's incredible.

now. does any of that look like abuse or beretta being mistreated. lol

okay cw for upcoming gore & nonexplicit discussion of csa & creeps.

he PROTECTS her. he AVENGES her. he DEFENDS HER HONOR. he CANONICALLY MURDERS HER ABUSERS. i.e chau who's a grown ass 30 year old man when beretta is. literally 13 years old. a CHILD.

the night before CURSED happens, he fucking SNAPS the minute beretta tells him that three men attacked her & kills the mfs instantly.

& VIOLENTLY at that, particularly the one that threatened to kill her & after he previously said she "came onto" them, aka, beretta, a clearly visible 13 year old child, led three grown ass men on, & he keeps beating the guy even after he's dead into a bloody mess. good on striker. & seeing how unfazed beretta is, this has likely happened before. & that realization paints a very dark & sobering picture for beretta; this is a girl who grew up too fast & striker knows this & it's because of this that he's so viciously & violently protective over her.

he saved her life before. look at the look on his face when he tells her to get the FUCK out of there. that's pure unadulterated desperation.

now. do they have issues with marco?? yeah ofc !! but. yall. yall mean to tell me& that. HE DOESNT CARE FOR HER AT ALL ????

literally look at how gentle he is with her. he doesn't just throw her ass on his back then yeet her onto the stairs, he gently places her down. then he leaves her momentarily to rest & recuperate bc he cares about her rather than selfishly going on with their plan together to... do whatever the hell they were planning on w/ daniel monroe.

when the flare happens, beretta comes to get him & he's pissed because 1) he wants to go after daniel monroe & 2) he's pissed in like that angry protective bf way that she's even there with him.

he even apologizes to her. he does so right away in fact & he does so sincerely & in a teasing, loving, lighthearted way, putting himself in a position we, the audience, never see him be willing to take ( not even in situations where it was more than warranted ) because striker is just. simply not the type to feel he owes anything to anyone & much less the type who admits when he's wrong. but most importantly, he apologizes to beretta bc he genuinely WANTs to, with not a single thought to her abilities, having no ulterior motives & no personal gain. he apologizes bc he knows he was in the wrong, that he hurt her feelings by staying away a bit from her for too long ( maybe clingy, but they're like 13 & 14 respectively here guys what do you expect y'all lmfao ), regrets that & wants to offer at least that much. & he always says "we" when referring to their plans; he includes her in their plan.

with that said, it's. VERY obvious that beretta seems to trust only striker with the softer, more vulnerable parts of her personality since he was a source of strength for her in overcoming her trauma as a child experiment & he lets her cling to him so he can comfort her & vice versa. & keep in mind the above scene is all happening while striker is holding a decapitated head & neck & shoulderblades clean off. this is from STRIKER of all people, y'know, the guy who casually choked a man to death in front of his son while on the phone with beretta simply to kill time, the guy who deadass hulk smashed his way through a building while laughing like a maniac & wiped the floor with ergastulum's high ranking twilights. this guy is soft for someone like beretta, that has to mean something bc that's impressive tbh.

he literally lets her bodily drag him around by the arm. lmao

& that doesn't change not even as grown ass adults. lmfao

literally look at his face is when he realizes that she's hurt/in danger.

& he is literally ALWAYS near her afterward to make sure she's okay & acting as a source of comfort for her when he clearly doesn't have to.

& that's not to say beretta's a weakling, no, she faced several high ranking twilights even as a tiny 13 year old girl & caused so much death & destruction to ergastulum & by the end of CURSED, all she gets is a tiny cut on her right shoulder. all of that was a game to her. striker doesn't protect her bc she's weak, he protects her bc he Wants to. we don't have a full backstory for striker or beretta for that matter yet, but i'd& bet my& money that beretta, like the other destroyers, that she struggled & was experimented on & was traumatized in the government laboratories by scientists who treated her like she wasn't even human & that she had to work her ass off to get to where she is. like. this is only one example of how horrifying their treatment was.

LITCHERAL STRAITJACKETS, WALKING ON COLD TILED FLOORS BAREFOOT & STRIKER LITERALLY HAS A MUZZLE ON HIM. that's literally so dehumanizing for anyone let alone a CHILD where they look about 6-8 years old here & even moreso for a BLACK child & just how horrible those implications are & how black boys are so often treated & it doesn't make it better that nobody else from the destroyers were seen with a muzzle on them & i& think the reason why striker cares about & i'd& argue loves beretta so much is that she never once thought of him like a monster like literally almost everyone else in the series has or as a rabid dog to be treated like the government or as a weapon to be used; to beretta, he's a person. so there's this underlying undertone & there are many canonical implications in the series that, precisely BECAUSE they both went through hell and back together as children growing up, they have an unbreakable bond that's unparalleled with anyone else in the series. & y'know, for being villains, they're actually in a healthy relationship.

beretta would do literally ANYTHING for that man & it makes me& wanna tear men in half & go clinically insane. & some ppl might find that crazy but like. if you're genuinely in love with someone & go through the same circumstances that beretta has, who wouldn't. if you haven't been abused your entire life & someone comes along in your life & they're the first person to treat you like you were an actual human being? you'd do anything for that person without question. so beretta's not "stupid" or "too devoted"; she makes her own choices. they both grew up together & witnessed unimaginable horrors & governmental abuse together, they really didn't have nothing but each other for a very long time. & then spas betrayed them, & minimi & maverick are both dead. & now only striker & beretta remain.

this is one of my& favorite scenes in the entire series. there's no dialogue shared between them, but it carries one message: I'm here for you when the whole world stands against you. they don't Need that dialogue, the way they feel for each other is in their actions. it's a really heartwarming feeling despite the tragedies & crimes they both committed. don't get me& wrong, they're both horrible people who've done horrible things to both good & innocent people & tbh overall shitty horrible people, this isn't me& justifying any of their actions or trying to woobify them ... but the fact that beretta still metaphorically, symbolically & literally stands by & behind him is just so beautiful & it shows how much she loves him ( & by doing so she's saving worick's life bc let's face it striker can very well still kill him with one arm be for fucking real ). so striker's publicly humiliated by everyone, he's called a failure to his face, he's just freshly lost his arm & his eye & he'll likely live the rest of his life disabled, mocked & shamed by everyone else, after spending his entire life trained to fight & kill for a cause that he was brainwashed by the government to believe in ... but beretta still keeps her arms around him in his moment of greatest need, & if that's not genuine love, then i& don't know what is. even after he's hurt her by possibly making her think that he values marco over her despite all she's done for him, she still holds onto him to let him know that in his most vulnerable moments, she is right there beside him holding him. she still supports while knowing that won't get her anything in return & putting his needs before hers... that's something incredibly heartwarming coming from someone as cruel, cold & cunning as beretta; this is a side of her that only striker gets the privilege of seeing. because her love for him isn't shallow, it's not based on looks, power, glory or lust alone, because if it was, she'd have left his ass right when he became disabled, it's because she loves him as a PERSON despite how fucked up he is.

regardless, they have mutual development, i'm& not necessarily confirming whether or not their relationship is mutual & romantic in nature but it's definitely obvious they're in some kind of relationship. they have a significant amount of substance ( meaningful moments from both ends, interactions, they're literally almost ALWAYS by each other' side & almost ALWAYS touching, it's heavily implied & then confirmed that they've had sex, subtext, focus, backstory, remarks from other characters, etc. ). the most selfless acts they do ( as surprising as that sounds, coming from people like them ) that we have seen them have been directly related to their feelings for each other, like saving each other's lives & putting their lives in jeopardy & throwing aside any fear in order to courageously run to each other's aid & save each other's life to do so when no one else did... & that speaks volumes. & regardless of what happens next & regardless of whether or not you ship them yourself, you have to at least recognize that they do care deeply about each other, beretta is a MAJOR person in striker's life, striker has never ONCE abused her or treated her violently, they are EQUALS although she's happy to follow his lead but isn't afraid to make her own decisions, striker PROTECTS beretta, he murdered her abusers & there is no canonical evidence for any of the aforementioned headcanons & to suggest otherwise is an insult not just to the ship but also to their individual characters. & all this coming from a CANONICALLY QUEER BISEXUAL INTERRACIAL PAIRING? that's a MASSIVE deal in animanga.

[rhaenin-writing-time]

I have no idea if you’re still looking over comments for your outline, but I love what you’ve currently put up so far. Aemond as a certified parentified momma’s boy while trying to also not be with his mom is forever hilarious. You’ve absolutely nailed his character (it’s almost eerie how exactly you got his mommy issues/personality down, his “I regret that business with Luke” in the latest episode was such an Alicent moment).

For the falcon’s shadow, I know that’s supposed to reference Aemma, but does it/will it have any connection to Jace as well in his bird costume? Cause the Lost in the Dark section, with “too many kinds of light” makes it seem as if he might be in the same dream that Jace and Aegon were in. But Aemond also seems too disconnected from (or maybe stiff towards) his Valyrian side to really join them.

I do love the part about Dreamfyre and how Aemond views effort spent towards being respectful of dragons and customs around them as frivolous. The set up of showing how Aemond clearly has no real care or understanding for Valyrian culture - except when he “wants the kind of power and influence that is specific to Targaryens” - that will eventually lead him to essentially ‘forcing’ a bond with Vhagar without any comprehension of how dragons are their own beings, not just a simple extension of the rider, is great.

Do you know if you’re planning to add any disconnected relationship between Rhaenys and Laenor? Cause while Corlys is obviously more unaccepting of Laenor’s homosexuality, I feel like his acceptance with Laenor’s children probably helped a little bit (at least when Luke takes Corlys’ attention by liking girls). But Rhaenys’ lack of acceptance for his children, simply because they’re not related biologically, must have caused a rift. Cause her acceptance of his homosexuality in the show feels like the very shallow acceptance in real life of tolerating the idea of being gay, yet not acknowledging any of the actual consequences of being such.

You mentioned in your latest post that you expected the arc to only be about 5 chapters, do you mean the whole section of “under the Dragon’s eye”, or just “Dark Nightmare of the Soul”? I’m a bit confused.

For your fic in general: do you know where the chapter scene of Rhaena ‘poisoning’ Daemon went? I haven’t been able to find it anywhere since your story was reorganized. And do you plan to include any of season 2 for your story, or has the characterization not really changed anything for you? (Honestly, the only real change to me seems like Alicent and Aemond have gotten way more Catholic - their weird “if I’m feeling guilty then I’m forgiven” was so bad).

Forever going to love your story, genuinely one of the best fanfics I’ve read.

Haha yeah I don't know how some people were so surprised about Aemond, I thought he was pretty clear cut. Fortunately for us, and Rhaenyra, he got his coddling fix when Baela sent him running home crying into his mother's arms. so Rhaenyra's safe for the time being. Now he wants to feel like a MAN.

When I say "this arc" I mean going back to fire and ice packs lol. I really underestimated how much I'd need to include to believably (at least I hope) establish a lot of new status quo's that are wildly divergent from show or book, especially regarding Rhaenyra and her siblings. And I ended up moving a lot up from later parts to avoid repetition later on in this fic. But if you look back at the outline you'll see that I colored the part that were currently in red, because we are almost done this arc. Rhaenyra soon faces the "final boss" and the revelation, and then... time and PEOPLE start moving.

Rhaena poisons Daemon in "Never get involved in a land war in essos part 2. I just split the chapter up because it was relatively long compared to the chapters around it.

Idk Aemond and Alicent have always seemed super catholic to me. I'm not going to take any extra steps to accommodate season 2, and I'm definitely leaving out Alicent/Cole because 1. It simply wasn't earned after they cut so much of that thread from the first season and 2. It's far too "modern" Catholic of BOTH of them. These are medieval Catholic extremists who are perfectly capable of getting off on the superiority of their own celibacy and "courtly love." And I'm not saying it couldn't be a reasonable turn for the characters, but they needed to show the journey. And they didn't. So it just feels kind of cheap and like the writers don't understand the world these characters are operating in, or their specific place in it.

Anyways, chapter coming. I promise. Life is weird and also writing has gotten more difficult/complex for a variety of reasons.

[psychewritesbs]

I'm waiting for what happens next with megumi's character to decide whether I like the yorozu vs sukuna fight. I could really see myself liking it if he plays it off by showing us the tragedy of how tsumiki's death was made a mockery considering reggie's curse, and how he couldn't even have a last talk with her you know? It still surprises me that he's one of the few who didn't at least speak to his loved one before they died and for now, how tsumiki and her relationship to megumi was done still seems lazy to me. In addition, i think if tsumiki was always dead from the beginning of the story and we knew of that, it would have settled more for me because then megumi really was a fool for chasing an impossible goal, and you know maybe we would be given some flashbacks of the kind of person she was, but at least i wouldn't think she was wasted as much now. Personally, the fact that he wants this story to end does have me worried for how he'll handle these characters, and he's valid in wanting it since his conditions probably aren't good, but well, I can still dislike those choices he makes, but I do try to have the patience to continue reading anyway, and now that's on me lol

I do love that we saw him cry though. I don't care that he didn't do something like Maki or Yuji with fighting back, so that criticism doesn't bother me so much, but I love it because tsumiki was and still is his person and sometimes that's enough to make me emotional over him, but knowing why or when that started would have given it that good push. Plus, a character like megumi crying of all things hits me good, but I understand why people wouldn't like the moment, but I'm patient and considerate enough to wait to see how it plays out

My own wish, but I would love it if gege would delve into and point out how a lack of responsible adults in megumi's life who cared about the siblings' wellbeing affected how he grew up. I know tsumiki filled that role, but I feel that because she was a child too, there were gaps in how megumi's mind was shaped in the end because I do believe adults add value to the minds of children to guide and help them experience good and bad things you know. Plus, it seems more probable to me that megumi was never told words of wisdom from adults by the time hes a tween because how do you end up on that type of the morality scale with self sacrificial tendencies. Plus, Tsumiki, my girl, how did shouldering that weight make her feel. She was still a child too, so there must have been things she couldnt answer or do and end up frustrated as a result, so, I guess I want to know how it affected them both, but that's a dream

Also, I'm iffy on sukuna vs yorozu simply because I did not like how either of the two were written here. I personally felt annoyed with yorozu and her sayings and she felt so hollow to me. I know perhaps it was gege's intention, but I hated how bored sukuna was. He wasn't taking her seriously enough for me to care about what she said and did either, and he clearly has opinions over the topic of love and the such so it annoyed me how gege treated her like some joke when he could have had sukuna act more condescending, but still engaging with the topic to balance it out, but it felt like yorozu was talking to a wall. I don't even think he had to be interested with her, but having them both engage with this theme of love and loneliness could have led me to enjoy the fight more. But, again, if these were his intentions with the mockery and everything, I'll respect those choices anyways

YO! Welcome to JJK-Sunday Confessionals (published not on a Sunday). I have been getting asks from people telling me about how much they don't like jjk and I feel like I'm holding JJK-Sunday Confessionals as a result 🤣.

Ehem. First, I feel like I've rewritten my response several times. So as per usual, thanks for the patience. I also suck at time management (clearly), so.... again, thanks for your patience anon.

Second, thanks for stopping by and sharing your #thoughts. I agree with a lot, and not that I necessarily disagree with other things, I just feel like it comes back to personal taste and preference.

I think with how long it's taken me to answer your ask (soooorryyyyy), a lot of things have changed. Anyways, here we go.

Word vomit under the cut.

Re the whole ordeal with Tsumiki

I totally get where you're coming from because I personally still don't know how I feel about Tsumiki and what happened to her.

I mean... I can mental gymnastics the hell out of it as a way to make meaning of what happened honestly, have we met?, but in the end, I also wanted to know the real Tsumiki, not Megumi's imagination or perception of Tsumiki, but the flawed girl who got sucked into this mess.

I mean just look at how she's depicted in Megumi's memory:

She's surrounded by Japanese White Lilies (which symbolize purity) against a sparkly background, her cheeks are blushed... she's straight out of a Shojo manga.

Honestly, one of the things I love about Gege's character work is that his characters are flawed. As she stands, as a character, Tsumiki is an incredibly 1-dimensional, self-insert type character. So I can totally see why you feel like it was a lazy execution.

Not only did she get fridged, her role is also basically that of a plot device for Megumi's development. As a result, she's literally just this Sleeping Beauty whose ideal and morals have to be protected because, in Megumi's eyes, she can't do it herself. Her one flaw is nagging on Megumi because "she cares".

And this is not to hate on Tsumiki or Gege's writing... rather, I wonder if the audience never getting to see the real Tsumiki or get more insight into their relationship isn't part of THE point Gege is trying to make given Megumi's lack of psychoemotional maturity.

In other words, he fucked up royally when it comes to Tsumiki and he's not going to be able to fulfill his "fantasy" of being the Knight in shining armor that protects her and makes everything right by apologizing.

That's a though pill Megumi will have to swallow.

To your point of waiting to see more to make up your mind about Sukuna vs Yorozu, I get it.

But look at it this way.

I wonder if part of the reason people are not vibing with the manga as much anymore is because Gege is relying on irony quite a bit, and sometimes people don't vibe with it because it can be very deadpan.

That's just my best guess since I've noticed Gege seems to like using irony quite a bit.

Irony.

Thing is, you can think of how "poetic justice" failed to be served in Tsumiki's situation.

You have aaaaaaall of this crescendo, all of this lead up to saving Tsumiki--

from Megumi's monologues about his regret regarding his behavior towards her and wanting to apologize for it,

to Megumi manifesting a domain because he decided to challenge himself in a situation that directly involved trying to protect her,

To "Tsumiki" waking up because of Kenny,

to Megumi asking others to risk their lives to help him save her,

to Megumi's willingness to do whatever it takes to reach his goal including killing people,

to Tsumiki entering the colony so that she could declaring participation in the CG,

to BAM!

Irony.

As another example on irony in jjk, @linkspooky writes a lot about how characters who think of themselves as the hero/protagonist of the story get punished in jjk, and Megumi utterly and miserably failing to save Tsumiki is definitely a case of that.

Now, according to Writers.com, "irony occurs when a moment of dialogue or plot contradicts what the audience expects from a character or story."

I think it was expected that tragedy would happen at some point or another, but with all of that lead up that Gege set up regarding Tsumiki, and it looking like everything was going to work out in her favor, Gege delivered a heavy dose of irony when he said jk she's been ded 💀.

To your point about Megumi being the only one who didn't get to speak to her before she died unlike other characters, yes. I totally get you. I know several of us wanted to see him apologize to her.

What makes this tragic for me is that...

This is why earlier I said he fucked up royally when it comes to her. It sucks he didn't get to apologize to the real Tsumiki but.. sometimes in life there are no second chances no matter how much you want them. It's a harsh fact of life.

Is there a better character than Megumi who believes that life is unfair to have to face this particular predicament?

2. I love the panel above for several reasons. I have a propensity to overthink, right? And to me, this panel tells a story in the subtext. What if he did apologize but Yorozu was amused by him and just made a fool of him by pretending to be Tsumiki the whole time?

After all, Yorozu could have joined the Culling Game if she wanted to. Instead she played along for her own gain--she got enough points transferred and she used the points to set a rule that would benefit her and her goal of finding Sukuna.

Is all of this cope? Yeah totally 😂.

So anyways. If that helps you see a little deeper into what might have happened and change your mind about it, great; if not, then that's great too because now you know that no matter how much Mental Gymnastics anyone can spin, you don't like Gege's sense of irony.

On JJK ending soon

Personally, the fact that he wants this story to end does have me worried for how he'll handle these characters

OH MAI GAH! I'm assuming you've seen the announcement (from I think the editor) that there's still quite a bit of story left and how jjk is not ending any time soon... omg thank the anime gods!

There was a lot of people making fun of others for being freaked out about jjk's pacing and Gege announcing he wants to end the story "this year" but like... when the mangaka says "I want to finish this story this year" what am I supposed to think?

"Oh, he means to say he has a lot of story left so it most definitively won't be over before some date far into the future"?

NO!

I take the mangaka's words as fact ffs 😂.

Anyways. Please excuse the rant lol. Turns out this might happen quite frequently in the manga industry?

Ma 🍒, @justafrenchlondoner, kept telling me that something similar happened with Naruto but that the manga did not end within the expected timeline.

And not to long ago CLAMP announced that they are not ending Card Captor Sakura Clear Card just yet as they had previously announced.

THAT SAID.

I did share your concern. See... I think that Gege's announcement at the beginning of this year planted a seed in fandom's collective brain. As a result, some of us started perceiving jjk as moving faster than usual.

This is how powerful the power of perception is. Basically, we see the world as we are and not as it is.

This tells me that I need to be more self-aware about my expectations when I read jjk moving forward and I love that you share your own moments.

Megumi

Everything you said about Megumi. YES.

✅ I do love that we saw him cry though

✅ I don't care that he didn't do something like Maki or Yuji with fighting back

✅ I love it because tsumiki was and still is his person

✅ but knowing why or when that started would have given it that good push

✅ Plus, a character like megumi crying of all things hits me good

Ok.

Well, almost everything.

❌ I understand why people wouldn't like the moment

I refuse 😂.

I'll be petty all day long about it because I'm insufferable like that.

So I'm going to officially be obnoxious and gatekeep that moment as a very poignant execution of the event that would usher Megumi's growth. Symbollically, metaphorically, narratively blablabla.

To me, the people who don't like the moment for whatever reason, it just means people don't get Megumi.

Ok I'm done being insufferable and obnoxious.

In the end, it comes back to personal taste, right? 😂

To each their own lol.

ANYWAYS...

My own wish, but I would love it if gege would delve into and point out how a lack of responsible adults in megumi's life

I love this. All of it.

That's what I love about how Megumi is written. His backstory sort of tells you why he is who he is--his character walks a fine line between nature vs. nurture. It's like Gege gets Psychology or something.

So thank you for sharing your thoughts on the Fushigs being forced to grow up and how this experience shapes their sense of self.

Man, sometimes when the brainrot goes deep I get really emotional about Megumi. I swear.

Re: Sukuna vs. Yorozu: having them both engage with this theme of love and loneliness could have led me to enjoy the fight more

Yeah, Yorozu is just such a polarizing character. I can see why people don't like her, but I just found her amusing and loved how deluded she is.

I'm not sure if you know that in Sufism, being in love is another method of "enlightenment". Not sure if that's what Gege was going for, of course, but so far he's given us a nice little tour of comparative religion.

That said, it's nice to see this theme of love and loneliness come back around in chapter 230.

I think a lot of people are worried about the execution of it because when the topic of romantic love is brought up, people seem to think...

But romantic love is not love per se. Romantic love is the fireworks you see when you feel butterflies for the Beloved, sure, but it is really about inner divinity projected upon another human. jjk does not talk about divinity per se, but it does talk about the soul.

As the story continues to unfold, I like what Gege is saying about the love principle. Thing is, psychologically, an overwhelming sense of self does not allow for the relational principle to flourish because ego is by default "separate from" and does not see itself as part of a unifying force that includes the soul, which is itself part of the all (divinity).

Hope that made sense lol.

For that reason I think this motif will continue to unfold and I am curious how that will change Sukuna's character who has no regard for others as a result of an overwhelming sense of self.

Mind you, I don't think he'll become besties with anyone, I just want to see him realize there's a spiritual realm beyond hedonism and ego-driven pursuits... or whatever it is that Gege has in mind for him.

Anyways. That's my hc. Thanks for stopping by and my apologies once again. I need to get better at time management 😭.

[khaosophist]

Thank you for sharing.

The strength this woman exhudes. her nudity, and position giving a sense of vulnerability. Her laying on her own wing for comfort gives a sense of being habituated with solitude. Then, there are the flowers and life in contrast to her fleshy monster colours. She is natural, yet stands out in nature. Where does she come from? Is she okay? The subtle scales. The webbed tail, and dorsal fins showing an adaptive being alongside it's wings, claws, and talons. The fact her hair is closer in colour to the nature around her is as if the most anthropormorphizing aspect of her is her hair, and not her torso. The freaking relationship between her frailer arms and her strong claws. I love this girl. But she doesn't exist. But then I have trans-existential leanings so, I don't know. I hope she has sharky teeth! NOM!

Is she sapient? At what point is one meeting a monster girl rather than studying one? If she's sapient, then what language does she speak? How does her age come into play? How far does definition go for characterization?

What is a monster girl?

I think I was first introduced to the concept of 'Monster Girl' because of monster girl quest. I remember losing on purpose, and eventually moved away from it as it became clear it's intended audience became more niche. When I think about how it was presented in the monster girl encyclopedia it was like the fantasy to me was that sexuality became something uncontrollable, like there was a partner out there that was just going to be obssessed with their partner no matter how bad they are because they need sex, or die. Even then, the way the monsters were set up, some clearly were set up with certain features for different interests. Man, there's so much sexual assault in those areas. I'm glad I moved away from that. Now it's just about them, how they live as beings. It reminds me of how tentacle hentai was, I think, to me, almost always sexual assault. That led me again to add consent to these situations. The absence of monster boys in my experience with MGQ and MGE ironically showed how being masculine was basically being seen as a sexual object, or a tool. The roles reversed showed a way that women could feel. Surrounded by monsters that think they need sex, demand sex, take sex, using their interests, and context, to rationalize their entitlement.

So we have fiction giving space to sexual assault. I removed it. Adding (Enthusiastic) consent, and Equalising monster girls with monster boys, (And removing the shotacon aspect) made it more palatable to me. How does one woo a hellhound, a woman like the one in this piece? Respect them? Understand them? Extending empathy, affection, friendship based on interests, and context. How would cross-species interactions work?

One constant was how most were just anthropomorphic. So how would consent work between vastly different species? In truth these questions are rhetorical for myself. In the sense that I don't really care about a coherent answer because it's fantasy. But that doesn't mean no fantastical questions should be answered coherently.

The child in me wants to give her a big old steak, or a big sandwich...I want her to protect me, and I want to protect her. We could fly as much as swim! A primordial force. I'd hope she liked me...Maybe even romantically...I'd be honest about my feelings, and hope we can grow as people together.

Another aspect of monster girls is how their qualities are transferred through metaphor to personality like we can sometimes see in furry fandoms through the choice of animal in a fursona. However, I realize some may just be characters. Lol. Projection!

Anyways, fursonas and mobsonas are like philosophical homunculi, rather than represent the sensitivity of senses, they represent our sensitivity to ideas. A good example is shown in "Homunculus", however: it is more humanist in it's treatment of trauma, where the protagonist just sees the person WITHOUT a homunculi when the trauma is dealt with.

I love monster girls.

Tired tired

I liked this girl's colors so I wanted to draw her again. One more time and I'll need to think of a name ^^

[ruminate88]

Darvo ? 🥴😝

I just had to learn this new word from The Bat Wolf on TikTok…

“Darvo” is an acronym that stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It is a manipulation tactic often used by individuals to deflect blame, deny responsibility, attack the accuser, and portray themselves as the victim in a situation where they may actually be the offender….

Grrr… This sucks. lol 😝 I already knew this. Not the word, I just know my exes blamed me for what they did. Andrew for one, after we’re broken up, he says “we can be friends” and I was in stupid trauma bond so I can’t leave. I stuck around hoping for some miracle that he actually diiiiid love me 🙄 (I wasn’t aware of what was happening) OKAY, so we’re having conversations as “friends”. He’s way more open with me now than he had been the whole relationship. I didn’t get why… We were talking about our “fears” and “worries”. I tell him finally I had been battling depression for years. He acts totally caught off guard and upset!! Says he “should’ve known that about me.” Well duh, you only dated me for over a year. Yes, you would’ve known had you actually paid me real attention outside your bed. 🫠 and I tell him I’ve always felt invisible and misunderstood which is 100% facts!! Apparently now, Andrew is “upset” and says he should’ve known and now he thinks that’s sooooo terrible of me to be depressed. Tells me I’m “too beautiful to be depressed” ANNNND he took a vulnerable conversation and turned it SEXUAL 😳 Suddenly he’s saying how beautiful I am to him and how he wants me and I know what he likes and I’ve always known what he likes… doesn’t want me to be depressed but suddenly wants me to be with him. I was in stupid trauma bond and had no self control, no awareness of his intentions and so I melted like butter in his arms. Grrrr!!!!

Okay so I’m mistaking the whole situation and I wonder is he trying to get back with me and what about the “other girl” ?? I ignore my gut instinct, I ignore the hard truth and I give in to temptation. The next day I’m torn like what’s gonna happen next, what does it all mean and does Andrew care about me… SUDDENLY, I received this big, loooooooooong, paragraph of a text message from him. He’s never typed so much in his life to me! He’s always gave me short responses but this time it was like a book!!! 😨 and in this book, he wants to know, “why did I flirt with him and get with him? What’s wrong with me, why would I do that!!???? Tells me how I know we’re broken up and I don’t respect our friendship…. “ basically treating me like a slut and making me feel bad for what HE STARTED!!! He tells me I made him “weak” and purposely made him “want me” that it’s alllll my fault he had no self control and I made him do something he wasn’t supposed to do. 😓😓😓😓

Is that not Darvo???? I mean, I knew nothing back then about manipulators but I wasn’t born yesterday either. My jaw was dropped and sure I felt sad and ashamed cuz I thought it meant something when clearly he was just messing with my head and playing games… I exclaimed to him “it takes two” and no he’s not gonna blame me only, he also has to wear it. Also, he took a sensitive and tough conversation about my mental health and turned it into something nasty. He used my feelings and emotions for his own benefit. Yeah, it didn’t stop there. For two weeks straight we continued to get with each other but fight the whole time. It was both amazing and terrible. He purposely was making it “good” so I would want more of him but also treating me like complete crap because it’s easier to get what he wants from me if I’m too upset and sad to go against him. Plus, I truly believed I cared about him and whatever he was going through.

I just can’t wrap my head around “darvo” it’s so evil and hurtful. I continued to show up for him even while he’s spitting on my name. His loss though ✌🏻

[taylortruther]

Hi Rae, how are you? 🥰 I have a very random, very OT question/advice that I wanted to ask you.

It’s about this girl I’m friends with - I met her via my partner as she’s the gf of one of his best friends, so they’ve gone out in the same circle for ages. I met her at the same time as I met my partner (3 years ago), but me and have have gotten pretty close in the past year or so. We hang out and go out just the two of us all the time, we really get along, and I’m really fond of her.

This past weekend, I was out with her and one of my best friends, let’s call them respectively A and B. After a night out, B spoke to me in private and told me she finds really weird how A seems to “be obsessed” with my partner’s finances and how she talks about it all the time.

For context, my partner is undeniably very well off thanks to his family (although he is literally the must humble and generous person I have ever met in my life), and in general, all of his friends are also pretty wealthy and/or come from a wealthy family, including A’s boyfriend.

I come from a really normal family: my parents always gave me everything and did a lot of sacrifices for me, and I am very aware of what it means to work hard for something (or basically anything lol), and A also comes from a normal-ish family (normal compared to the boys’, but still pretty well off), and she really consider herself a “self made woman” (she is now very, very successful at what she does.)

After my best friend B made those comments, I kinda stopped and thought about them, and the truth is A does bring up my partner’s status quite often, she always talks about the boys’ privileges (but often refuses to acknowledge her own, and we actually had a discussion about that once), and she does sound quite… bitter, or even envious about his wealth, even though he’s not the flashy type at all, quite the opposite.

After B pointed that out, I have realised that I have often indulged A in those conversations, and I may have also drunkenly and naively given her way more details than I should have (and kinda regret that.)

So what do I want from you now lol, you may ask? I would like to hear your opinion about it, first, and also if you have any advice on how do I move forward from here? I would like to keep A in my life, I do care about our friendship, and I don’t think she’s a bad person (just maybe a bit of an envious one, which is something I’ll be more wary of from now on). But how do I handle our relationship going forward?

I’m not sure I feel confident enough to have a direct conversation about this, but next time she brings up my partner’s money, what kind of answer can I give her to make her back off (without resulting in an open confrontation)?

[sorry for the rant! I just kinda want an opinion and an advice from someone very external to the situation, as I don’t really know how to bring it up to friends who know all of us, and definitely don’t want to mention it to my partner as I know he’d be hurt]

bestie thank you so much for your patience here!

definitely keep in mind that A has this quality - i think it's healthy to recognize she has this flaw but you can still have a close friendship. so i think the most important thing for you is to be mindful of what you share, like you said. maybe it feels normal to discuss your bf's wealth or share those details because so many people around you treat it like its normal, but clearly not everyone feels the same way. set that boundary and stick to it, because it's possible A might take any leeway and make comments that make you uncomfortable.

as for in the moment... if she does make a comment, i would go for direct, but kind, because you want her to know it's not up for discussion but you also don't want to be rude. maybe you can say something like, "this topic doesn't really interest me, what about [xyz]?" and change the topic. tailor it to your personality, of course - maybe you want to turn it into a lighthearted joke or something. but it sounds like you want to be gentle with her so i think having a go-to response planned ahead might be helpful.

if she doesn't take that well then you might need to talk about it. but hopefully she can handle that and gets the hint!

[toadkisses]

update:

dm me for pics of my cool puncture hole and gigantic purple blue bruise! i am taking antibiotics and getting workers comp ✌️i will be okay

so i attended a group work meeting yesterday, i was planning on quitting but wanted to hear them out just in case.

apparently the dog that bit me has to wear a muzzle and be sedated in order to get vet care at the clinic that owns the boarding center i worked at. fsr they did not see a problem with us interacting with him much more without such protections

anyway they were still deciding if he’d be allowed to board with us in the future, they were leaning towards “yes this dog can stay here” but they asked for opinions from staff

so i told them that i think its extraordinarily bad judgement to allow him to stay, that i think boarding is clearly not the best option for his well-being when the dog is so stressed that he bites without warning, and that frankly i find it disrespectful that they’re even considering allowing him back near staff. and my manager (who i really do like) told me later that she could tell that i was Really Pissed. i mean like i kept it very professional but i’m not surprised she could tell lol

we also talked about some other high risk dogs that have stayed and i was able to express that again, i think if a dog has bitten one of us they shouldn’t stay, both for our safety and for the well-being of the animal. i think my manager was receptive but she does not really get to make the big decisions, the vet owner does :-/ and in my experience vet owners of boarding places do not care about the employees lol

so anyway i asked to talk to my manager after the meeting and she was really apologetic (which is nice because the hr lady didn’t even ask if i was okay haha???), i told her that i really respect her and like her and that i understand that she doesn’t really want to be doing this job, but that i’ve been in the animal field for the better part of a decade and i’ve NEVER had to interact with this many bite risk dogs. and i told her that i don’t wanna leave her in a difficult position but that i need to move on with my life and get my big girl job

and she was really really kind and understanding and even said like “you’re better than this place, you deserve better, put me on your resume and i will give you a glowing recommendation” and was like 🥺😭

so i wish she was my manager at every job but unfortunately this one is over ✌️✌️✌️

there’s many other reasons i’m leaving, (extremely toxic coworkers, critically understaffed, refusing to give my coworker back pay she’s owed bc of a mistake on the business’ part, place is shutting down for construction in three months, flooding issues, etc.) it wasn’t an impulsive decision. i’m sad bc i wanted this job to be good but shrug. i contacted my states disability services office for job help and they already got back to me bc i worked with them before so it’ll be okay. i’m ready to move on bc this whole job has just been making me into a person i’m not (assuming the worst of people)

my plan is to be an optometric technician so hopefully my case worker can guide me in what classes i should take to get me into the program. i’m feeling motivated and optimistic :-)

tw dog bite talk

heyyyyy guess who gets to go to urgent care because of my FUCKING employer

there’s a dog staying that is KNOWN for biting. he bit a coworker yesterday AND this morning. for some reason he is still allowed to stay here. and i just got bit and punctured and have to go to urgent care and i am so FUCKING pissed because i’m working alone because were understaffed and i am GOING to quit this job

[laughing-with-god]

The Unsaid Vow (Prologue)

Synopsis- You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.

Warnings- Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a four-year-old (I never wrote for a kid before pls gimme a break), also I chose my future son's name for this fic but pls feel free to name him whatever you want :)

Slow burn Yandere Husband Jungkook

Word Count; 5.4k

Unlike the vast majority of married couples, neither you nor Jungkook donned wedding rings.

Never in your five years of marriage did you regret this decision, given it was brought upon by you and your husband’s lack of funds for fancy wedding bands at the time of your rushed marriage.

Well, you were never annoyed....until tonight, that is.

The scene before you was exceptionally intimate, so much so that you felt the instinctual need to look away in respect of the two before you.

The woman was gorgeous, effortlessly attracting all the attention the small conference room had to offer. In addition to this natural charisma spurred on by her borderline enchanting looks, her short and skin-tight red dress showed off her pleasantly curvy body. Her long, silky, and jet-black hair was pulled back into an elegant ponytail that provided a simple background for her darling features. Utterly doll-like was her face; petite, creamy in complexion with bright doe eyes and berry-pink lips.

Such a beautiful woman was currently in the arms of an equally, if not more so, attractive man.

He was tall and slender, yet not at all lanky given his sturdy build that was a testament to his strict workout regime. His olive skin was complimented with occasional tattoos, a mix of faded and fresh ink that you knew like the back of your hand despite only the tats on his hand currently showing in his crisp Valentino suit. His mid-length inky black hair was down to frame his sharp face, and indeed it was a very handsome one consisting of full eyebrows, bow-like lips, a fleshy yet impish nose, and two large, yet seemingly bottomless, raven orbs.

This man had his arms encircling the middle of the mysterious woman, her expression lifting into a light-hearted giggle as she leaned forward to whisper something in his ear.

Whatever she said must’ve been amusing to the man, given his usual stoic facade briefly melted away as he allowed a small smile at her words, his pearly round teeth peeking out for a split-second appearance.

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that these two were lovers.

But there was only one problem with this scene.

That was your husband, Jungkook.

And that woman in his arms was not you.

As if sensing your distress and wanting to soothe your well-founded suspicion, Jungkook pulled away from the woman and ran his gaze across the room- only stopping when he spotted you. Your spouse then gestured at you, the girl following his line of sight and landing on you and your pitiful spot by the snack table. Her joyful expression briefly dropped for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it second, but she quickly plastered on another grin and nodded. The two then strode their way over to you, barely giving you enough time to steel your nerves and muster a polite purse of the lips.

Before you knew it, the woman was right in front of you with your partner at her side instead of yours. Much to your dismay, she was only more attractive up close, and you narrowly held back a grimace as she held out a hand in introduction. You took it and shook it lifelessly.

“Hello, you must be Mrs. Jeon. I’m Sana, Jungkook’s colleague.” Even her voice was pretty, musical and light to the ears.

“H-Hi, nice to meet you but please call me Y/n.” A brief and awkward pause as Sana briefly sized you up and down. “Um, Jungkook has never mentioned you….” you trailed off, side-eyeing your husband in hopes he would intervene and add context to this random goddess he’s thrust upon you.

Jungkook gracefully took his cue and explained, “Sana transferred from another branch out of the city and has only been with us for five months. I’m her case supervisor and have been taking care of her, showing her the ropes and whatnot.”

Sana didn’t even spare you a glance as she fondly looked up at your husband, coyly biting her lip and saying in a much softer tone that could've been just for his ears only, “And he’s been really good at taking care of me.”

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous stay-at-home wife who obsessed over the tiniest details between her husband and other women, but the double meaning behind her badly-whispered comment was enough to make you splutter in disbelief. However before you could even gather up the courage to ask just what the hell ‘taking care of me’ consisted of, two new faces waltzed up and joined the conversation.

“Are you all enjoying this fabulous Christmas party?” A tall, broad-shouldered but nice-looking man asked in a tone of familiar amicability.

You thankfully smiled up at him, having met him many times before.

His name was Jin, and he was the one who got Jungkook this job.

It occurred about five years ago when you first told Jungkook that you were pregnant. Being the romantic but overall good guy that Jungkook was, he insisted that you two get married so that your child could have parents who were at least husband and wife. In addition it would also lessen the judgment in your two families, which at the time was extremely appealing to you. You had agreed to marry on one condition: after running to the courthouse you two would need to move in together in a decent apartment with a room for the nursery. But getting an apartment would mean month-to-month rent, and Jungkook’s tattooing gigs weren’t stable enough to ensure that.

Jin was originally a friend of Jungkook’s older brother, but when he heard through the grapevine about the issue, he bought Jungkook a couple of suits and offered him a job at the corporation he worked at.

Now Jungkook made more than enough money to support your little family, and it was all because Jin took a chance on a college drop-out and his knocked-up girlfriend.

You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by the unknown lady beside Jin.

“I’d say a little too much fun if anything. Sana and Jungkook, we get that you're the infamous office couple but maybe tone it down a bit, huh?” She joked while raising her brows at the close proximity between the two.

A long and tortuous silence swept the scene.

Jin glanced at you, pity swimming in his usually carefree eyes.

Not trusting your voice to say anything and desperately wanting to hide your face from the piercing eyes, you distracted yourself by taking calculated sips of watered-down eggnog.

“Daehyun...this is actually Y/n, Jungkook’s wife,” Jin told the lady in an uncomfortable voice.

You didn’t know what stung more, the fact that this stranger thought that there was more chemistry between Sana and your husband than with you, or that it was Jin who corrected this mistake and not Jungkook himself.

“O-Oh, well it’s nice to meet you.” Daehyun awkwardly said to you while avoiding direct eye contact.

You offered a tight smile, “Pleasure.”

Whatever gratitude you could’ve had for Daehyun’s clear embarrassment quickly vanished when the woman went on to continue, “I’m sorry. Jungkook never mentioned being married and he doesn’t wear a ring so I didn’t even know. I bet it must be interesting for his housewife to meet his office wife though, right?”

She laughed, not realizing that she only succeeded in putting a foot in her mouth right before stomping it all over your pesky little heart. The group didn’t seem to share your uneasiness, all three of them politely chuckling along to the lukewarm joke at your expense. Once again, you focused on your dwindling beverage to avoid the burden of speaking or even facing them directly, too scared that your miserable expression would be unanimously inspected.

“Well, we just came over to recruit you all for some karaoke!” Jin cheerfully announced, clearly trying to change the subject, “There’s a machine in the break-out room and it’s more fun to sing with a group.”

“More like you want an audience.” Jungkook wittingly teased, a handsome smirk on his face as Sana playfully scolded him with a push to the chest.

“I’ll take your jabs now Kookie because I know they stem from your insecurity that I can actually upstage you in the vocals department.” Jin rebutted in good nature, even letting your husband’s old nickname slip.

Daehyun and Sana both guffawed at this declaration, exaggerated disbelief present on their faces.

“Jungkook is the best singer in the office. He’ll upstage you without even trying.” Daehyun said in a tenor of utter confidence.

“Only one way to find out!” Jin brushed the comment off, pointing to the direction of the assumed breakout room, “Karaoke anyone?”

The so-called office wife nodded enthusiastically, taking your husband’s arm and looking up at him to plead, “Can we do a duet of that one song we like?”

Jungkook, for the first time in seemingly hours, shot you with a questioning gaze.

Be married to someone for a while and you’ll learn how to decipher what they’re trying to say with just mere looks. Your husband was wordlessly inquiring if you were going to join, if he should go along with the group or if you two should break away and do something else.

The ball was finally in your court.

Not wanting to be rude but needing to get away from these people before you lost your cool, you decided on a subtle excuse.

“I need a refill, but maybe we can meet you all later?” You said, shaking your empty paper cup as if to prove your case.

“Oh, well the drinks are right behind you.” Sana condescendingly pointed out, tightening her hold on your husband and began steering him towards the exit, “We’ll save a seat for you.”

Bewildered, you watched as Jungkook obediently followed her lead with the Daehyun girl trailing behind.

He didn’t even spare you a glance.

You wanted to be angry.

You wanted to storm up to your husband, yank him out of the clutches of his colleagues and practically drag him back home under the premise that he would never speak to Sana ever again.

But instead of a righteous rage fueled by the marital vows you two took, utter exhaustion bestowed upon you and prevented any instigation on your part.

Maybe earlier in your marriage you would’ve fought for his attention, but now you simply just wanted to go home and lick your wounds with the help of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while self-obsessing over Sana’s outrageous attractiveness. After all, who could blame any hot-blooded man for choosing that goddess over you? What could you possibly do but lean back and accept that she was the obvious choice?

Other than her being a knockout beauty while you were merely average on your best day, she had other qualities that made her a more appealing catch. She was most likely younger than you, obviously fit, more ambitious and professionally driven than you, and presumably has no kids.

Meanwhile, you were just an old stay-at-home mom who lived off of her husband’s paychecks while he fucked his coworkers behind her oblivious back.

Before you could draw more detailed comparisons between Sana and yourself, you felt a large hand place itself on the middle of your back, successfully guiding your attention to the only person who bothered staying by your side.

Jin smiled sadly at you, sympathy shadowing his expression as he gestured with his other hand to the empty cup still in your hold. “Let’s get you some more eggnog.”

You nodded wordlessly, still speechless from the interaction, and allowed the taller man to guide you towards the snack table. Jin then took your cup and refilled it himself, providing you the opportunity to pick at the catered food in some cheap attempt at stress eating. By the time Jin came back with a full cup, you were halfway done with a sugar cookie and eyeing the meatballs next.

“Here ya go,” Jin said as he handed over the drink to you. You took it and nodded in thanks but kept your eyes glued to the food, not wanting him to see just how defeated and tired your face probably was. But, Jin wasn’t going to let the whole thing go. “Y/n….I know what you saw and heard looks really bad but trust me….nothing is going on between Sana and Jungkook.”

You snorted. “It doesn’t just look bad, Jin. It was like they were practically rubbing it in my face. Him having an affair isn’t the problem, it’s the way they’re not even bothering to keep it down. The least they could do is be discreet.”

Jin’s jaw slightly dropped, “‘Him having an affair isn’t the problem’? Y/n, do you even hear yourself? Of course that would be a problem! Do you not care about your own marriage anymore?”

And there it was.

The big question.

Did you truly even care about this marriage?

Well, let’s look at the facts.

One: The disrespect of his alleged mistress was more offensive to you than the fact that she was a mistress.

Two: Jungkook dragging you along to this office Christmas party was the first time in over a year that he bothered to take you out.

Three: You two had humble beginnings and could barely afford food, much less wedding bands when you first got married, but now he was a very wealthy man and had no excuse for not buying you or himself a ring. Unless, of course, he enjoyed acting single around other women.

Four: And on top of all this, it had to be factored in how distant he has been with overwhelming work hours that prevented any alone time with your husband. Sex with Jungkook has been off the table for almost a year now.

But did any of this really bother you until tonight? The answer was a resounding no. You were willing to take all those burdens in stride but tonight it wasn’t just about the fact that you were the unwanted wife Jungkook got sacked with, it was the fact that you were humiliated and forced to face the type of girl Jungkook should’ve been married to all along. That was all you were truly upset about.

The conclusion that you indeed didn’t care about your marriage and haven’t in some time now hit you in a sudden wave, but in no way were you shocked.

Voice shaky and brittle, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Jin and say the one thing you always secretly thought but never dared utter out loud. “I-I guess I always expected it to end like this. When we were younger, he was always the popular one and all the girls wanted him. We were only dating for three months when I got pregnant, and if it weren’t for our son he probably would’ve dumped me eventually and left for another girl. But, he stuck around for his kid because he’s a good father. And I’ve been nothing but a burden to him for a while now.”

Tears began to blur your vision, forcing you to quickly duck down and quietly sip at your drink so as to not embarrass yourself even more.

You heard a shuffle and suddenly Jin was holding you, using both of his lengthy arms to cage you in and rest you against his broad chest. It had been a long time since a man had held you like that, and you practically went boneless at the contact. You closed your eyes and tried to will away the incoming tears, even going so far as to solely focus on the scent of Jin’s cologne as he soothingly said, “Y/n, listen closely to what I’m about to say. You and Hugo were never a burden to Jungkook, and you two never will be. Your marriage was sudden, but it doesn’t make it less valid than any other marriage out there. Jungkook has been with you for so long, he just doesn’t realize when other women are interested in him because he’s been off the market forever. But I promise you, if I knew for even a second that he cheated, I would tell you right away.”

You didn’t say anything.

Although Jin’s words were comforting, they weren’t necessarily true. A marriage that started from a healthy courtship and true love instead of inconvenient circumstances was of course more valid than yours. And even though you were sure of Jin’s honesty and loyalty to you, Jungkook could’ve easily kept his affair secret from Jin as well.

However, you didn’t wish to concern Jin anymore. You already put him through too much awkwardness tonight and didn’t want to keep him by your side as some sort of emotional sponsor any longer than you already have. Jin always loved parties and was the life of any one he was invited to, even if it was just a lame annual office gathering. You then felt guilty for putting Jin in a situation where he would even have to console you when he should be out enjoying karaoke with the rest of his coworkers.

You promptly pulled away from Jin and wiped at your face. He released you and also took a step back, carefully studying you for any signs of further turmoil. Once sure that your face was acceptably dry, you gazed back up at him and offered a thankful smile. “Thanks Jin, I’m sorry I just dumped all of that on you. I really have to use the ladies' room though, can you point me to it?”

“It’s right by the conference room,” Jin informed, pointing out the general direction for you. You nodded and took a few steps toward it before he grasped your wrist to stop you and ask, “Do you want me to wait for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll just find you and Jungkook when I’m out. Go and join the others for karaoke.”

Jin nodded but seemed unsure.

You didn’t look back to see if he actually went to follow the others, instead just advancing to the restrooms, secretly looking forward to some alone time even if it had to come from a public bathroom.

Once you entered the restroom you were relieved to find it completely empty, you weren’t sure if you could handle another run-in with Jungkook’s female colleagues. They all seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.

Instantly, you dashed to the mirror to inspect your makeup, assuming at least the mascara was ruined from your little cry. Thankfully, the damage was minimal and you were able to clean the smudges up with a damp napkin. You focused all your attention on the dreadfully small task, trying not to study your reflection too much given it would just conjure up more mental comparisons to all the other prettier women you encountered that night.

Yet the small task couldn’t last a lifetime, and you had to resort to looking at your phone in search of things to do. You weren’t emotionally ready to go out and search for your husband, so you wanted to prolong your time in the bathroom. Although it hasn’t been that long since you left the house, you decided to text the babysitter for any updates about your son.

To Emily: Hey, is everything okay with Hugo?

It only took about 40 seconds for the teenage neighbor girl to text back an answer, clearly on top of things and overly eager to provide any updates.

Emily: Yes! He ate his dinner, took his bath and we’re about to get ready for bed.

Your motherly instincts were satisfied with that response, but it didn’t do anything to subdue your desire to return back home. Your thumbs briefly hovered over the keypad, somewhat hesitant with the next text you were about to send.

To Emily: Great, thanks again for doing this. Listen, I think we might head back home sooner than we thought. Don’t worry tho, I’ll still give you the pay for the full four hours.

Before you could wait for a response from her, the sound of multiple incoming footsteps interrupted the steady silence in the restroom. Muffled female conversation could also be heard, the slight laughter and bickering amongst a group of women approaching the bathroom. Your fight or flight instinct was triggered, and to avoid any more awkward encounters you rushed to the nearest stall and shut the door- fully prepared to wait out the faceless group of female colleagues.

You heard the restroom door swish open before the women burst in, chatting and giggling with their heels clicking against the tile floor. One of the unknown females made way to the stall beside you, the others presumably hovering by the mirror if the sudden comments about their appearances were anything to go by. You quietly sighed and pulled out your phone again, ready to drown out their office politics talk.

Only for the conversation to somehow steer towards you.

“Did you see her?”

“Of course, I was very confused, to be honest.” One of them replied. “I mean….look at Jungkook and you just assume that whoever he’s with is drop-dead gorgeous, and she was just eh.”

“Yeah, she was pretty plain. What was her name again?”

“Y/n.” A third voice cut in, this one eerily familiar to you.

You glued a hand over your mouth to silence your gasp.

It was Sana.

“Did he ever mention her around you? You are the closest to him in the office Sana, and we didn’t even know he had a wife until tonight.”

“No, I didn’t know until tonight either.”

“What?! That’s insane. Literally all the time he spends with you: getting coffee, buying you lunch, driving you home after late nights, and he conveniently never mentions that he has a wife at home?”

“That’s suspicious. But I guess if I had a dog like that at home, I’d never mention her either.”

Cruel laughter from all of them.

The toilet from the stall next to you flushed, then opened as a new voice entered the discussion while she approached the sinks.

“It’s more than suspicious. He doesn’t even wear a wedding ring. And he’s so close to Sana but never mentioned that he’s married?” A pause as she washed her hands. “It’s obvious what he’s trying to do. Jungkook is trying to have an affair with Sana.”

Although this exchange was extremely hurtful to you, you felt somewhat relieved that you weren’t the only one to see what your husband was doing.

A pause hung in the air as none of the women spoke for a minute, they were willing to gossip but apparently outright declaring the obvious was a step too far for them.

Eventually, one of them chimed in with their own observation.

“Can you blame him? Sana you’re the most beautiful person in the office and you look so good next to him anyway. Much better than that cow Y/n.”

Another round of obnoxious laughter that broke your heart.

“C’mon guys. We gotta head back. Jungkook is gonna get anxious if Sana is away for too long.” Someone teased.

They all murmured in agreement, heading towards the exit as a group before one stopped them with a final question.

“Wait, Sana. If Jungkook does want to have an affair with you, what are you going to do?”

Although you couldn’t physically see Sana, you practically heard the smirk on her face as she said, “Who says we already aren’t having one?”

--

Needless to say, you ditched the Christmas party almost immediately after the bathroom incident.

You texted Jungkook a white lie about Emily struggling with Hugo, although a good father would’ve known something was up because your son had never given babysitters any trouble before. But luckily, your husband also wasn’t doing so hot in the dad department either.

You would’ve felt bad for not telling the truth if the truth wasn’t so fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, I’m gonna go home to cry like a little girl because I caught your coworkers talking shit about me. Oh, and also your little girlfriend accidentally let it slip that you’ve been fucking her this whole time. K talk to ya later!”

You grimaced at the thought of actually sending that text.

Sure it’s what that cheating bastard deserves, but you just weren’t emotionally ready for that fight yet. Especially after the night you endured, you needed some time to pick yourself up and figure out what to do next.

Divorce was the next logical step, but you were financially dependent on Jungkook. If you moved out and took Hugo with you, where would you two stay? How could you afford to be a single parent? And if Jungkook were to try to fight you for custody or the divorce in general, you would need a damn good lawyer. Unfortunately, lawyers weren’t cheap, especially one that stood a chance against Jungkook and all his wealth.

Your shoulders sagged with the imaginary weight of all these burdens.

When you entered the high-rise penthouse that you called home, you were surprised to see Emily anxiously pacing the foyer in waiting for your arrival.

“Hey, how was Hugo?” You greeted politely, already opening your clutch to pull out the agreed-upon salary.

“M-Mrs. Jeon, I swear I tried to have him in bed by eight like you said but he’s being stubborn and said he won’t go to sleep until you come back and read to him-” The teenager rushed out all at once, clearly nervous that you would scold her.

You held a hand out to stop her rambles, using your other hand to give her the money, and offered her what you hoped was a comforting smile, “It’s okay, Em. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. Why don’t you run home now and try to enjoy your Christmas Eve?”

Emily looked relieved that you weren’t mad, gratefully taking the cash before grabbing her jacket and shoes to make her exit. “Thanks so much for this Mrs. Jeon. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas.” You farewelled while walking the young girl out, locking the door behind her.

You turned around and proceeded down a long hallway that led to the bedrooms, stopping at the door beside the master room which belonged to your four-year-old son. You opened it to peer inside, the familiar deep blue walls with painted-on sea creatures greeting you back, swiftly reminding you once more of Hugo’s obsession with the ocean.

Your son was bundled up in a twin bed so big that it practically drowned him, his small frame barely being recognizable in the large fish-printed duvet wrapped around his tiny frame, only his small and adorable face peeking out to stare right back at you.

Hugo was essentially a carbon copy of Jungkook. At first you were somewhat resentful about this, how was it possible that you carried a baby for nine months and he came out with absolutely none of your features? But after a while of watching Hugo grow up and come into his own slowly but surely, you were pacified by the conclusion that while he may look exactly like his father, his personality and heart took after you.

“Dumpling, why did Emily say you were giving her a hard time and wouldn’t go to bed?” You asked gently, sitting by his side and petting his black hair.

‘Dumpling’ was a nickname you chose for Hugo since you first found out you were pregnant with him. It stemmed from your sudden pregnancy craving to eat dumplings and nothing else, you once even going two straight weeks surviving off the food. There were many times where Jungkook had to bribe you into eating other things, playing on your guilt for not providing your baby all the nutrition he needed. But even now ‘Dumpling’ still stuck, if Hugo’s chubby cheeks were anything to go by.

“Mommy, I-I’m sorry but-” His big doe eyes looked up at you in teary guilt, “I really needed you here. It was a nece-necess-”

“Necessity, bub.” You finished for him, grinning at his attempt at a big word.

Part of you wanted to scold the boy for being difficult, but you didn’t have the heart to. Lately, Hugo has been more clingy to you than ever before. Yet it was practically impossible to punish him because Hugo has always been a good kid and you knew deep down that he didn’t act out unless there was something else going on. You suspected that it had something to do with the lack of his father’s presence that forced him to hold onto you like his life depended on it.

“Well try not to do it again, okay? Emily is a nice girl and she’s just following my orders when she tells you to go to bed.” You said, ducking down to peck the crown of his head and continue running your fingers through his hair.

Hugo nodded in understanding but ultimately stayed silent, basking in your cuddles.

All was silent for a passing moment, and while Hugo enjoyed his mother’s touch, your mind gradually returned to the turmoil that was your marriage.

A sudden epiphany struck you and bit your lip as you debated an idea.

Should you expose your son to your future plan?

The victim of any divorce has always been the children who were left behind. And the last thing you wanted to do was blindside Hugo. Perhaps you should play the hypothetical game just to see where your son’s head was at? It went without saying that Hugo was closer to you than Jungkook and you were more of a parent than your husband. But still, every kid deserved to have a say in their parents’ divorce.

“Bub, how would you feel if….it was just me and you?” You hesitantly inquired.

“What do you mean mommy?” Hugo titled his head in bewilderment and craned his neck to look back up at you.

“What if me and you went away to live together?” You clarified.

“Like a va-vayca-”

“Vacation? And no. But forever. Just me, you and no one else.” You whispered, as if Jungkook himself would storm in and catch you planning your escape with the toddler.

“Oh.” A pause as you could practically hear the mechanisms in his four-year-old brain trying to work out the logistics of what you just proposed. “Okay.”

The nonchalance in his youthful voice had you taken aback.

“It’s a really big decision, Hugo. You wouldn’t mind...not living with daddy anymore, right? You would hardly ever see him, dumpling.”

The boy shifted to lean more of his body against you, essentially resting against you with his head on your chest as he said, “But it’s like that already, mommy.”

Your heart broke.

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer to you, feeling a maternal instinct to comfort and protect.

“Okay Dumpling. I need you to promise me not to tell daddy what we talked about.”

“”Kay.” Hugo yawned and closed his eyes, inhaling deep breaths of your scent and beginning the process of falling asleep. “When do we leave?”

“It’ll take some time, bub. You start school in a few months, so mommy will try to find a job while you’re there.” You told him, not bothering to try to explain the concept of a lawyer or apartment deposits on top of that. “But we can do this. It has to be a secret but you're my partner in crime.”

“Like spies?”

You chuckled, “Yeah, like spies. Promise to work with mommy in utter secrecy?”

You held up a pinky, one that Hugo grasped with his own.

“Promise.”

Author’s Note:  So....A while ago before I took my long ass hiatus, I did a poll for which yandere story I should write next.  The Unsaid Vow won but that was around the same time that shit hit the fan in my life.  Recently was scrolling through my notes on my phone and found some of the plot points for this story and I needed a lil break from QQ.  Plus I know so many ppl were hyped for this concept so....Here ya go lol.  This is kinda short but it’s just a set up, Chapter one’s plot line will start a few months after this when Hugo will start kindergarten and Y/n will actually start looking in to jobs, lawyers and apartments.  Also I’m sorry but I’m really bad at writing for kids lol, and I absolutely refuse to write that gross ass baby talk so just pretend your son is a lil genius okay? Also srry Once but I needed really pretty girls to be villians in my story so yeah, Twice girls in here aren’t likable but aren’t reflective of how i actually feel about them lol.

Big thanks to @sushireads​ once again for creating the cover art for this fic.  They literally are becoming my go-to for fic art.

And my beta readers @bigbuffjoonie and @mustardpop​! They beta’d for QQ and I came to them really early about this fic.  They were with me since the beginning and have given me advice with creative choices to just simple grammar.  They easily could’ve leaked the first draft of this too but they didn’t and kept it secret for a while.  I was really insecure about getting out of my comfort zone with this plot but they really guided me.  

[lipstickmarks]

Do you have any headcannons on how Eddie’s friends would have reacted to Chrissy? Do you think they knew about his crush on her? Would they be supportive and help cover for them if they had a secret relationship or would they not approve?

i think they knew about it in middle school but they never imagined it carried into high school. the guys are realists about their place in the social hierarchy so they’re absolutely stunned when Eddie brings Chrissy fucking Cunningham to a Hellfire session.

At first they think she’s in the wrong place until Eddie pulls a chair out for her and explains that she’ll be sitting in on the game.

They’re not unsupportive, they’re just… confused. Gareth is the one to vocalize it. He tends to speak for the group. He’s Eddie’s right hand man and they were friends first out of all of them so he can usually appeal to Eddie’s sensibilities without getting his head bitten off.

“What the hell is going on between you and Chrissy Cunningham?”

To which Eddie just popped a grape in his mouth and smiled wickedly.

“I have no fucking clue.”

The unnamed Hellfire member (i call him Grant in my head bc of @cunninghamschrissy hc lol) is more outspoken about Chrissy attending hellfire meetings but Eddie shuts that down with one stern look.

Jeff is the most accepting of Chrissy’s presence. He’s a very go with the flow guy and he has a gentle spirit like Chrissy. At the second game she attends, he wordlessly offers her a pretzel from his snack bowl. Those are one of the snacks Chrissy can stomach without bringing up any of her ed issues so she takes it with a grateful smile.

When they realize Eddie has genuine feelings for Chrissy, they’re a bit worried. They don’t want to see their friend get hurt. Eddie might put on a front but there’s a real vulnerability there. But all it takes is to see the two of them interacting to know the feeling is mutual.

Although she doesn’t participate in the games, she’s always enraptured by Eddie’s storytelling, watching him with fascinated eyes and having animated reactions to his various voices and other performances. After their performances at the Hideout (Chrissy goes to see them every week), she’s always touching Eddie. Her hand never leaves his and more often than not, she’s got both arms wrapped around his bicep. They think it’s really cute how Chrissy loves PDA and Eddie does too but he’s clearly not used to it so he’s always bright red in the face when she does it.

Once they get to know Eddie and Chrissy as a couple, they’re more than supportive. Beyond that, they get to know Chrissy as well. She tells them a bit about her life, her overbearing mom and how she hates all the pressure to be the “it” girl. That strikes a chord with them and they realize Chrissy’s just as much of an outcast as they are, she’s just an outcast in popular kid’s clothing.

The younger Hellfire members adore Chrissy too. Dustin likes just about anyone, Lucas is impressed that Eddie pulled her, and Mike is just so obsessed with Eddie that he likes anything Eddie likes so Chrissy is alright in his book.

And the feeling is absolutely mutual. Chrissy LOVES all of Eddie’s friends. She was a little apprehensive to meet them at first because she knew how rowdy they could be but she trusted Eddie wholeheartedly. She knew he would never guide her into a dangerous situation.

As mentioned, she and Jeff have similar soft demeanors so she warms up to him first. With Grant, his emboldened D&D outbursts make her jump but she eventually grows to appreciate his passion. Out of all of Eddie’s friends, Gareth is the one she respects the most. He and Eddie are like brothers and even though Eddie is the leader, Gareth would never let anything bad happen to him, including getting his heart broken by a pretty cheerleader. He was a little standoffish with Chrissy at first but they have caring for Eddie in common and that binds them together.

And come on. How could she not adore the younger Hellfire members? She thinks it’s so cute how Mike copies everything Eddie does. She’s even brought Mike stuff from the thrift store that looks like Eddie’s (that’s how Mike starts his ring collection). Lucas is a fellow jock and she’s impressed by how multi-faceted he is as a person. Her favorite thing about Lucas is his sister.

Erica makes Chrissy laugh harder than any of them, even Eddie sometimes. Her wit is something she’s never seen and she’s always impressed when Erica want obliterates any monsters in the party’s way. Erica won’t admit it, but she likes Chrissy too. And she loves having another girl in Hellfire even if she doesn’t technically participate. (She has yelled at Eddie and Chrissy for kissing in the middle of sessions though)

Dustin is her favorite. They have the closest bond out of all the kids. She and Eddie always joke that he’s their adopted child and Dustin has jokingly referred to Chrissy as his step-mom multiple times. Dustin talks to Chrissy about Suzie all the time (she thinks their relationship is so cute) and they even talk on the walkies sometimes. Dustin swears up and down that the four of them will go on a double date one day and Chrissy really hopes it happens because she wants to meet this girl.

As far as the secret relationship goes, the guys have no qualms about helping the two of them out. As far as they’re concerned, Chrissy’s one of them and Hellfire protects their own.

[tiny-katara]

I can totally buy that Zuko could fall in love with Katara. She’s amazing. But why would Katara fall in love with Zuko? She may have forgiven him and become friends with him, but it’s one thing to become friends with a former enemy and another love them. Zuko really hurt her in many ways. Please don’t think I’m trying to be rude, I’m just genuinely curious. I want to understand the way Zutara shippers think. I have to because the ship is so popular.

no you're totally fine anon! your question is perfectly respectful and i have no issue answering. in fact, it would be a pleasure :)

now i can only give you my perspective on why i believe katara could/would fall for zuko and a lot of it is heavily based on my own experience as i do relate to katara in more ways than i'd like to admit lol. anyways... let's begin (this will definitely be extrememly long).

zuko definitely did a lot to hurt katara, but she forgives him in the show and they are ride or die besties immediately afterwards. katara strikes me as someone who forgives wholly and completely upon seeing a genuine effort to be better and zuko showed that to her. i really don't think if she hadn't completely let the past go they would've been able to joke around like they do in ember island players, so i don't really see that in particular barring their potential relationship. might just be me tho lol.

the thing about katara is that she is very good at taking on others' burdens but very poor at asking for help with hers and i think this has a lot to do with the death of her mother.ccanonically, katara immediately fills the void her mother left behind. mothers generally take on the burdens of their children and expect nothing in return--as it should be! children are not responsible for dealing with an adult's problem. all this really goes to say that katara is a character that struggles to receive help because she's been channeling what she saw her mom do and it pretty much outright says in the runaway that katara is the motherly figure of the group and that responsibilty is heavy weight to bear, but one she does anyway. she takes care of everyone, but she really struggles to allow herself to share her inner turmoil with everyone as a result. like we do see her talk about how she lost her mother a fair amount with people, but very rarely do we see her discuss the specific impact it had on her with them. it's almost always used as her method of empathizing with people who have suffered as a result of the war, not as a means to gain closure.

katara does tell one character the full story of what happened to her mother and the character she chooses to share that with is zuko–which is absolutely crazy if i'm being honest! it says a lot that katara is able to speak her mind more freely to someone who has deeply hurt her than her friends/family--and not necessarily bad things. again, it just shows that katara feels like they need her to be the tough one, or the caregiver, but she never does that to zuko. he's one of the few characters katara can freely express herself to and that's not just me making assumptions, that's canonical. it's insane when you're watching through the show and looking for katara's most vulnerable and honest moments and noticing that a lot of them occur around zuko. it's pretty clear that katara feels some kind of connection with zuko from like the first moment they have an actual conversation. like our girl just pulled that spirit water we'd all forgotten about and deemed fixing zuko's esteem issues worthy of it.

if you step back and think about it though, zuko and katara are some of the most similar characters in the show. both of them are very passionate people who fight for what they think is right. both deeply understand the meaning of a sacrifice since their mothers both gave up their lives for theirs (ursa obviously isn't dead but from zuko's reaction in the show he clearly thinks she is and she did still sacrifice her current life/lifestyle). both are pretty emotional and reactive if they're pushed to it. both are deeply empathetic, which often drives their sense of justice. it makes sense that katara would feel more comfortable opening up to him because zuko just gets it.

now this isn't about kata/ag and i don't want this to turn into anything like that, but this is the reason a lot of us zutara folk don't like kata/ag. no offense to aang, but our boy is 12. he is not going to be good at emotions and deep-rooted trauma no matter how wise and knowledgeable he may be lol. He just doesn't notice this struggle of katara's, and this isn't exclusive to aang. none of the members of team avatar are ever truly able to see this in katara and actively try to help her. that is until zuko.

the southern raiders is an episode that is wildly controversial across the fandom. there is no denying that lol. my interpretation will no doubt be different from yours, especially since it seems like you ship kata/ang (? this is not meant offensively love whatever you what anon!). in this episode we katara finally snap. she isn't being kind and caring, she's being selfish and angry--which let's be real, she deserves. like i said, none of the members of the team ever really notice that she's bearing the brunt of the weight in the group and our girl is doing a lot. it's really just a culmination of her family separating again, the burden of playing mother, the long journey (you can't tell me she's not completely exhausted), and the hurt zuko caused. everything builds up and katara does say some things that she definitely should not have, but it's mostly because of how blunt and hurtful they are.

a bit of a side note, but katara's comment to sokka is something that has always bugged me. i hate that we didn't get a scene between the two in which they reconcile and actually talk about what she said, because basically what she said boils down to "even though we shared the same mom and experience, the trauma we went through as a result is not the same." that statement is 100% accurate. sokka is very clearly not carrying around the same baggage katara is. it's pretty clear that katara feels responsible on some level for her mother's death as she is the last waterbender and that's why the fire nation was there in the first place. it's obviously not her fault, but we don't always process these things in the most logical ways now do we?

anyway, katara is hurting very badly in this episode and we see her lash out at zuko specifically, which is completely understandable. he’s from the nation that killed her after all and then on top of that royalty lol. it's the perfect storm really. i think it's important to note that although katara doesn't exactly state what's wrong apart from mentioning the betrayal in ba sing se, zuko is able to see how much she's actually hurting and tries to fix it as best he can. we also see zuko defending katara's decisions throughout the episode. he has her back 100% and he never expresses any sense of disappointment in her. zuko trusts katara's judgment and choices, something we don't see aang or sokka do in that episode. a partner should be able to let you make your own choices and have your back. zuko's giving katara that chance and he isn't telling her what to do or expressing disappointment in her actions.

this is probably based more on my own preferences, but i really don't think it's unrealistic for a teenage girl to fall for someone who is older and cares for her. i mean the guy jumped in front of lightning for her??? like idk but it would definitely make my heart skip a beat especially if he's also someone you get along with quite well. the two are ride or die besties in the span of like an episode. AND katara actually is amused by him on some level as seen in ember island players when they have their little moments of banter. all of the boys katara shows interest in before the finale/that aren't aang are older too. jet is older and if you count haru he is too (it's up to you there, i personally don't really know how to feel about it). that's also without mentioning how strikingly similar zuko and jet look. it is absolutely wild how closely they resemble each other, so it really doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility to say that zuko would fit katara's aesthetic if you will lol.

something else that is fairly unique to zuko is that he always treats katara as his equal. katara and zuko are always battling on the same level and he never acts like she can't handle herself. in my opinion, zuko is the one who shows the most respect for katara's bending abilities. zuko asks her to come fight azula with him because of that. like he definitely acknowledges that toph is also insanely powerful, but katara is someone who worked hard for what she is, and that's something zuko had to do himself. he knows exactly how hard it is to work for what she has and i think that understanding of her innate talent and work ethic are both reasons she would zuko to be an appealing partner, especially since katara has always had to demand that respect from other people. zuko respects it without her saying a word and i think it's safe to say that pretty much everyone wants a partner who acknowledges their talents and abilities without being specifically asked. i think this also ties in with part of her affections for jet because he also showed interested and respect for her bending. i mean he also did abuse her bending but still! katara would not put up with someone who didn’t show her respect.

zuko is just a more appealing partner than anyone else to me. he grows up a lot and has a strong sense of responsibility, is empathetic, passionate and ambitious, kinda dorky and awkward, and all around trying to be the best person he can be. those are pretty attractive qualities in a partner, so it just makes sense to me for katara to feel similarly, especially since i very much identity with her character lol.

so that was absurdly long, but i hope that helped your understanding of zutara! it's a ship that very strongly values strong individuals that are similar and different and respect each other as equals. my explanation is a bit messy and all over the place, but i really hope you did find it insightful! if you want a better and more in-depth view of the ship, i would recommend this video by snzeey reviews (its a long one but it is extremely thorough). she's able to explain it very politely and with much less bias than me. she even talks about how aang in a very respectful way, which I will admit to failing at lol. book 3 aang drives me up the wall! 

anyways thanks for your ask :) i am so sorry it took me so long to answer but i have literally thought about it all the time since receiving it lol. it was a lot of fun <3