#clear sign more people are looking at the tag. And I draw this

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

This was originally gonna be about Jaime having a kamen rider esque catchphrase and then I couldnt think of anything but Peacemaker’s.

[jaeyunluvbot]

goodnight n go

genre/tags 𝟅𝟈 vernon x fem!reader, kind of secret romance, college au

word count 𝟅𝟈 7.1k

NOT PROOFREAD

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The campus library hums with quiet activity: the scratch of pens, the faint tapping of keyboards, and whispers barely above a murmur. You’re in your usual corner, earbuds in and pretending you’re too absorbed in your screen to notice the commotion around you.

But you do notice. How could you not?

A burst of laughter draws your attention to the table just a few feet away. Of course, he’s there. Vernon Chwe.

He leans back in his chair, all lazy confidence, a backwards cap perched on his head like it’s an extension of his body. His hoodie looks soft, worn, perfectly slouchy, and it’s infuriating how good he looks without even trying. You force yourself to stare at your screen, typing nonsense just to look busy. He’s not even your enemy—not directly. But Vernon is part of Mingyu’s crowd, and that’s enough to keep him firmly on your ignore at all costs list.

You still remember how Jennie looked after her breakup with Mingyu—eyes puffy, voice breaking on every other word. She hasn’t explicitly told you to steer clear of Vernon, but loyalty doesn’t need to be spoken. Besides, you have no interest in frat boys who probably spend more time planning parties than studying.

“Hey, Y/N!”

You freeze. His voice cuts through the library like it has no regard for social norms—or the very clear quiet zone sign on the wall.

You don’t look up. Maybe if you pretend you didn’t hear him—

“Y/N,” he says again, louder this time. A few heads turn in mild irritation. You want to sink into the floor.

Reluctantly, you pull out an earbud and glare at him. “What?” you hiss.

He holds up a battered blue binder. Your binder. Your name is scrawled across the front in black Sharpie, unmistakable.

“I think you forgot this after class,” he says, his tone casual, almost playful.

You stomp over and snatch it from his hands. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he replies, grinning like you just made his day. “Oh, and nice presentation today in Dr. Kim’s class. You really knew your stuff.”

Your chest tightens, and not in the way you’d like to admit. Compliments shouldn’t feel like this—not from him, anyway. You shrug, keeping your voice neutral. “Thanks.”

You turn to leave, eager to put as much distance between yourself and his stupidly charming face as possible.

“You know,” he calls after you, his voice light, teasing, “I’m not as bad as you think I am.”

You stop mid-step. Slowly, you glance back at him. “What are you talking about?”

He leans back in his chair, his grin widening. “I mean, you don’t have to avoid me so much. I’m not the one who broke Jennie’s heart.”

Heat floods your cheeks—half embarrassment, half fury. “I’m not avoiding you,” you snap, even though the words feel like a lie.

“Sure you’re not,” he says, his tone maddeningly smug. “See you around, Y/N.”

You hate the way his voice lingers in your head long after you’ve stomped back to your seat.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The house is packed, music thumping so loud you can feel it in your chest. You’re clutching a red solo cup—not because you’re particularly in the mood to drink, but because it gives you something to do with your hands. Jennie’s off somewhere, probably gossiping with Irene and Seulgi, leaving you to hover near the snacks, pretending you’re not awkwardly alone in the middle of a frat house.

You don’t even know why you came.

Actually, that’s a lie—you know exactly why. Jennie had heard NCT was throwing the party, and you didn’t want to spend another Friday night alone in your dorm. But now, as you watch the endless crowd of people, you’re questioning your life choices.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

You don’t have to look up to know who it is.

Vernon Chwe.

His voice is casual, but when you glance at him, he’s smiling, almost like he’s been waiting for this moment. He’s ditched the usual hoodie for a plain black t-shirt and jeans, his hair falling messily over his forehead. It’s ridiculous how effortlessly good he looks.

“Didn’t think I’d see you either,” you reply, your tone sharper than intended.

He raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Why’s that?”

“I didn’t think frat parties were your thing.”

“Really? I live here.”

Your face heats up at your own stupidity. He just laughs, shaking his head. “Relax, I’m kidding. I don’t live here, but I might as well with how often I’m around. The brothers in NCT are friends of my frat”

You roll your eyes. “Of course they are.”

There’s a beat of silence, just long enough to feel awkward. You glance at the door, contemplating an escape, but before you can bolt, Vernon leans a little closer.

“You look like you’re having a terrible time,” he says, his voice low enough that it feels like a secret between the two of you.

“I’m fine,” you lie.

“Come on,” he insists. “I saw you glaring at the chips like they personally offended you.”

You almost laugh despite yourself. “Maybe they did.”

He grins, taking a sip from his own cup. “Tell you what—let’s make it less terrible. There’s a quieter spot upstairs. Wanna come?”

Every sensible part of you screams no. This is exactly what you’ve been trying to avoid. But something about the way he’s looking at you, his smile soft and unassuming, makes you hesitate. Against your better judgment, you nod.

Vernon leads you to a room at the end of the hall, far enough from the party that the music feels like background noise. There’s an old couch in the corner, and he flops down, patting the seat next to him.

You hesitate, but sit down anyway, keeping a safe distance.

“See? Much better,” he says, leaning back and stretching his arms across the top of the couch.

“You didn’t bring me here to murder me, did you?” you joke, crossing your arms.

He snorts. “If I wanted to murder you, I wouldn’t have picked a frat party. Too many witnesses.”

“Good point.”

For a moment, neither of you speaks. It’s not the awkward silence you expected. It’s…comfortable.

“So,” he says, breaking the quiet, “why do you hate me?”

Your head snaps toward him. “I don’t hate you.”

“Really? Could’ve fooled me.”

You open your mouth to argue, but he cuts you off.

“It’s fine,” he says, shrugging. “I get it. Jennie’s your friend, and Mingyu’s my friend. Guilty by association.”

You don’t know how to respond to that.

“I just think it’s kind of unfair,” he adds, his voice quieter now. “You don’t even know me.”

Something in his tone catches you off guard—he sounds almost…vulnerable.

You glance at him, and for the first time, you let yourself really look. He’s not grinning or teasing. He’s just sitting there, waiting for you to say something.

You glance at him, and for the first time, you let yourself really look. He’s not grinning or teasing. He’s just sitting there, waiting for you to say something.

“I guess…I never gave you a chance,” you admit, the words feeling heavier than they should.

He smiles, but it’s small and almost shy. “Well, I’m glad we’re fixing that now.”

You’re not sure why your chest feels so tight, or why your heart is beating so fast. All you know is that Vernon Chwe might be a problem—a very, very big problem.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

You’ve never been one to lose track of time, especially not at a party. But as you sit on the worn couch in that quiet upstairs room, hours pass like minutes.

Vernon has a way of talking that catches you off guard. He’s not loud or overbearing like you imagined a frat boy would be. Instead, his words are thoughtful, his voice calm, like he’s actually listening and not just waiting for his turn to speak.

Somehow, the conversation flows from harmless small talk—classes, shared professors, and how the campus coffee shop is ridiculously overpriced—to deeper things.

“You know, when I found out you were friends with Jennie I was surprised,” he says, leaning forward, elbows on his knees.

“Oh, really?” You arch a brow, leaning back into the couch.

“Yeah. You don’t have that… sorority vibe, you know?”

“And what vibe do I have, exactly?”

He grins, his eyes flickering to yours for a moment before he looks away. “You seem like you’ve got it all together, but there’s a lot more going on under the surface. Like, you’re the type of person who stays up all night overthinking things.”

Your stomach flips at how accurate that is. You cover it with a laugh. “What, did you take a psychology class or something?”

“Nah,” he says, still smiling. “I’m just good at reading people.”

“Then why didn’t you read that I don’t like you?”

It’s meant to be a jab, but it comes out softer than you intended.

He shrugs. “Because I don’t think that’s true.”

You scoff, but he doesn’t back down. His gaze lingers on you, not in an intimidating way, but like he’s trying to figure out how you work.

“Okay, fine,” you say, breaking the tension. “Maybe I didn’t like you before.”

“But now?” he asks, his tone teasing but his eyes serious.

You roll your eyes. “You’re…less annoying than I thought you’d be.”

“Wow, high praise,” he says, grinning.

You can’t help but smile back.

At some point, the conversation shifts to childhood memories. You tell him about the time you broke your mom’s favorite vase and tried to blame it on your cousin, only for your little brother to rat you out. He laughs, and it’s this deep, genuine sound that makes your chest feel warm.

In return, he tells you about the time he got his head stuck between the bars of a park fence and how Mingyu had to call their RA to get him out.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” you say, laughing, “the fact that you got stuck or the fact that you had to call for help.”

“Hey, I was, like, eight,” he says, pretending to be offended. “Cut me some slack.”

“Sure, sure,” you say, wiping a tear from your eye.

Before you realize it, the music from downstairs starts to fade, the party winding down. You check your phone—it’s past midnight.

“I should probably get going,” you say, though you don’t really want to.

“Yeah,” he says, standing up and stretching. “Me too.”

As you head downstairs together, the air between you feels different. Lighter. For the first time, you don’t feel the need to keep your guard up around him.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, he turns to you, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “This was…nice.”

You nod. “Yeah, it was.”

For a moment, you think he’s going to say something else, but instead, he just smiles. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Vernon.”

As you walk home, your thoughts race. You still don’t know what to make of him, but one thing’s for sure—he’s not at all what you expected.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The next morning, you stumble out of bed and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen, still in your pajamas. Your mind is hazy, last night’s events with Vernon replaying on a constant loop. You’re still trying to piece together how you ended up talking to him for hours, completely forgetting you were supposed to dislike him.

As you enter the kitchen, the lively chatter of your sorority sisters fills the air. Jennie, Irene, Seulgi, and Chaeyoung are crowded around the table, coffee mugs and half-eaten bagels scattered in front of them.

“Finally! Sleeping Beauty decided to join us,” Jennie teases, raising her mug in your direction.

“Morning,” you mumble, grabbing a mug for yourself and pouring some coffee.

“So, where did you disappear to last night?” Chaeyoung asks, looking at you curiously.

You nearly drop the coffee pot. “Uh, what do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Irene says, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. “One minute you were with us, the next you vanished into thin air.”

“Yeah,” Jennie chimes in, narrowing her eyes at you. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

Your brain scrambles for an excuse. “I, uh… I left early. I had a headache.” You force a casual shrug, praying they won’t press further.

“Really?” Jennie asks, her voice skeptical.

“Yup. Didn’t want to ruin the vibe for anyone, so I just went home,” you say quickly, pouring yourself some coffee and taking a long sip to avoid their gazes.

Thankfully, Seulgi changes the subject. “Honestly, I don’t blame you. Those frat boys were so obnoxious.”

“Right?” Irene says, rolling her eyes. “Especially Mingyu’s friends. They’re the worst.”

You freeze, your stomach twisting.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Jennie groans. “Mingyu’s bad enough on his own, but all of them together? They’re insufferable.”

You stare down at your mug of coffee.

“Who even invited them anyway?” Chaeyoung adds.

“Probably Jaehyun,” Jennie mutters. “I think he’s like, friends with Mingyu or something.”

You sit in silence, staring into your mug as their voices swirl around you. They have no idea what you were doing last night—who you were talking to—and guilt settles heavily in your chest.

But why should you feel guilty? It’s not like you did anything wrong.

Still, you can’t help but think about Vernon’s laugh, his surprisingly thoughtful responses, and the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his favorite movies. He didn’t seem like the person they’re describing.

“Y/N?” Jennie’s voice pulls you back to reality.

“What?”

“Are you coming with us to brunch later?”

“Oh. Uh, maybe. I’ll see how I’m feeling,” you say, your voice distant.

Jennie nods, not entirely convinced, but doesn’t push. As the conversation shifts, you force yourself to focus on anything other than Vernon.

But no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop thinking about him, a fact that has guilt eating you alive from the inside.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

A few days pass, and despite your best efforts to keep Vernon out of your head, he somehow keeps finding ways to slip back in. It doesn’t help that he texts you memes or random thoughts like, "Do you think penguins get cold?" throughout the day, making you smile when you shouldn’t.

You try to bury the guilt. You really do. But when Vernon suggests sneaking into your sorority house for a movie night—because his frat is too loud, and “your room probably smells better than mine”—you can’t seem to say no.

“Fine,” you whisper-yell into the phone. “But if we get caught, I’m blaming you.”

“I can live with that,” he replies with a laugh.

A couple of hours later, Vernon is sprawled on the rug in your room, munching on chips he insisted on bringing while you sit cross-legged on your bed, watching Shrek 2. You hate how easy it is to be around him, how natural it feels to laugh with him like this.

“You know,” he says, turning to look at you, “for someone who supposedly hates me, you’re pretty bad at showing it.”

You roll your eyes, throwing a pillow at him. “Shut up and watch the movie.”

But just as he’s about to throw a chip back at you, there’s a knock at the door.

“Y/N?” Jennie’s voice cuts through the playful atmosphere like a knife.

Your heart leaps into your throat. You practically leap off the bed, gesturing frantically for Vernon to hide. He scrambles behind your bed just as you crack the door open, trying to look as casual as possible.

“Hey, Jen,” you say, forcing a smile.

“Are you coming to dinner with us?” she asks, peering into your room suspiciously.

“Oh, uh… maybe later,” you stammer. “I’m just… talking to my mom.”

Jennie raises an eyebrow. “Your mom?”

“Yeah, she called, and we’ve just been catching up,” you say quickly, holding up your phone for emphasis.

“Okay,” Jennie says slowly, clearly unconvinced. She glances behind you, as if she can sense something is off. “You sure everything’s okay?”

“Yep, totally fine!” you say, practically shoving the door closed. “Have fun at dinner!”

You shut the door and lean against it, your heart pounding.

From behind the desk, Vernon’s muffled laughter bubbles up. “Your mom, seriously?”

“Shut up!” you hiss, glaring at him.

He emerges from his hiding spot, grinning like an idiot. “That was smooth. Really convincing.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this,” you mutter, flopping onto your bed. “This is all your fault.”

“My fault?” he says, sitting cross-legged on the rug again. “You’re the one who let me in.”

You throw another pillow at him, which he easily catches.

“Just admit you like me,” he teases, leaning back on his hands with that stupid, cocky grin.

You grab another pillow, ready to hurl it, but his words hit a little too close to home. Your grip loosens, and the pillow falls to your lap as your cheeks flush.

“See? You can’t even deny it,” he says, his voice softer now, his teasing tone giving way to something more genuine.

You hate that he’s right. But admitting it? That’s a whole other thing.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

It’s been a whirlwind of late-night sneaking, secret hangouts, and way too much Vernon. Not that you’d admit you enjoy it.

Vernon has gotten way too comfortable invading your life. He texts you constantly, calls when you’re least expecting it, and—when he’s feeling particularly bold—throws in a casual, “Miss me yet?” with a winky face. You hate that the answer is always yes.

To make matters worse, Jennie has been clinging to you like never before. She’s always suggesting lunch dates or study sessions, and you can’t say no without feeling like the worst friend in the world.

Balancing both is exhausting. It feels like you’re living two lives: one where you’re Jennie’s loyal best friend, and one where you’re Vernon’s… whatever you are.

One afternoon, when the stress feels like it’s going to eat you alive, you knock on Chaeyoung’s door, desperate for advice. She’s lounging on her bed with a sketchpad when you walk in, looking up with a raised eyebrow.

“What’s with the dramatic entrance?” she asks.

“I need help,” you say, collapsing into her beanbag chair.

“Uh-oh. Is this about Jennie or Vernon?”

Your head snaps up. “How did you—?”

Chaeyoung shrugs. “It’s obvious. You’ve been weirdly busy lately, but you look way too happy for it to just be school. Plus, Vernon keeps staring at you in class.”

You groan, burying your face in your hands. “I’m doomed.”

“Okay, spill,” Chaeyoung says, setting her sketchpad aside.

You tell her everything—how Vernon wormed his way into your life, how he’s not the annoying frat boy you thought he’d be, how you actually like spending time with him.

“But Jennie,” you say, throwing your hands up. “She’d kill me if she found out. And I don’t even know what this is with Vernon. It’s not like we’re dating, but…”

“But you want to,” Chaeyoung finishes for you.

You hesitate, then nod. “Yeah. I think I do.”

Chaeyoung leans back, thoughtful. “Well, Vernon didn’t do anything to Jennie. That was all Mingyu.”

“I know,” you say quickly. “But it’s not that simple. She hates Vernon by association. If she knew I was hanging out with him…”

“She’d be pissed,” Chaeyoung finishes with a sigh.

“Exactly,” you mutter, slumping further into the beanbag.

Chaeyoung looks at you sympathetically. “Okay, but hear me out. Do you really think this is sustainable? Sneaking around, lying to Jennie, sneaking Vernon into the house… You’re gonna crack eventually.”

You don’t want to admit she’s right, but you know she is. The thought of coming clean terrifies you, though. What if Jennie takes it the wrong way? What if she gets mad and it ruins your friendship?

“I just… I don’t know how to tell her,” you admit quietly.

“Well,” Chaeyoung says, smirking a little, “if Vernon is as crazy about you as he seems, maybe it’s worth taking the risk.”

Her words stick with you longer than you’d like. But are you brave enough to actually act on them?

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

This time, your sorority is the one hosting a party, the kind of event where you can already feel your exhaustion just from the noise and the amount of people packed into your sorority house. It’s loud and flashy, with your sisters dancing and laughing, and—against all expectations—Jennie has begrudgingly invited the Seventeen frat. You know why she did it. Drinks, snacks, and the usual frat chaos that she’s come to rely on for a good time.

But you? You’re stuck. You’ve spent most of the night glued to Jennie’s side, unable to sneak away, unable to make any excuse to disappear into the crowd where you could catch a glimpse of Vernon. The tension in the air is thick, and you can’t avoid the prickle of guilt as you glance across the room and catch sight of him. His eyes meet yours for a second, and you can almost feel the way his smile falters. He tries to move closer, but Jennie’s hand tugs you away, her chatter drowning out everything else.

“Come on, let’s dance,” Jennie says, pulling you into the middle of the room, and you can’t help but notice how she deliberately blocks Vernon from your line of sight.

You nod and force a smile. You hate this. You hate the way you’re pretending, the way you’re avoiding him, as though everything that’s been between you suddenly doesn’t matter. But Jennie doesn’t know, and you can’t risk it. Not when she’s this protective of you. You’d never hear the end of it.

Vernon, on the other hand, doesn’t let it slide. As the night stretches on, you can see him trying to talk to you. A quick chat, maybe a dance, a little smile. Each time, you have to turn away, pretending you don’t feel the pull in your chest. He’s not buying it.

Finally, he steps back, his lips curling into a sharp smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Okay, cool,” he mutters, the hurt clear in his tone. “I see how it is.” He turns away, disappearing into the crowd.

Jennie notices. “Haha, that’s weird. Why is he only talking to you?” she asks, a tinge of knowing in her voice.

You force a laugh, hoping it doesn’t sound as fake as it feels. “Yeah, definitely. I don’t know why he was talking to me either.”

The words burn in your mouth, and you want to kick yourself. It’s all a lie. A lie you’ve been feeding to Jennie, to yourself, to everyone. But the guilt is too much, and you just need to get through tonight.

When the party dies down, and you finally find an excuse to leave, you head upstairs, your heart heavy with a mix of guilt and regret. You barely get your door closed before you pull out your phone and start typing to Vernon.

Hey… I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to be weird. I just didn’t know what to do.

You wait, staring at the screen, hoping for the buzz of a reply. But it never comes. A few minutes pass, then thirty, then an hour. Your thumb hovers over the screen, ready to type again, but no new message comes in.

Finally, you give up, tossing your phone aside and heading into the bathroom. You turn the shower on, trying to wash away the anxiety that’s coiling in your stomach. It doesn’t work.

You curl into bed, the sheets cold against your skin, but nothing can stop your thoughts from swirling. You feel horrible for betraying Jennie, for lying to her. But then there’s Vernon, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve betrayed him too. What’s worse is you can’t even tell Jennie the truth because it would hurt her, and you can’t risk that. You feel like you’re suffocating under the weight of it all.

The knock on your door comes hours later, and when you open it, Jennie is standing there, still in her outfit from the party, her expression soft.

“Hey,” she says, her voice quiet. “Can I come in?”

You nod silently, stepping aside to let her in.

“I know something’s up,” she says, sitting on your bed. “You’ve been acting weird all night. You can tell me, you know. I’m your friend.”

You stand there for a moment, fighting back the tears that are threatening to spill. You want to tell her. You want to be honest. But the truth feels impossible to say.

“I can’t,” you say, shaking your head. “I just… I feel awful. I don’t know what to do.”

Jennie sighs, looking at you with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to go through it alone. But it sounds like you need some time to figure things out. Just know I’m here if you need me, okay?”

You give a shaky nod.

Jennie stands and pats your shoulder gently. “If you need to talk, I’m here. But take your time. Just don’t keep it all in too long, okay?”

You whisper, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“I know,” she says softly, offering you a small, knowing smile. “But you’ll figure it out.”

As she walks out, you close the door behind her, burying your face in your hands. The guilt is suffocating, but you also know that Jennie is right. You have a lot to figure out—and soon.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Everyone is packing up, signaling the end of another lecture. You grab your things quickly, your thoughts racing. This is it. You can’t keep avoiding him, and you can’t let things stay awkward between you and Vernon any longer. You know he’s been hurt, and you can’t just let it fester.

As you walk out of class, you spot him talking to a few of his friends, his back turned to you. You hesitate for a second, wondering if you should just leave it for another day, but then you square your shoulders and head toward him.

“Vernon,” you call, and his shoulders stiffen before he turns around to face you. The moment his eyes meet yours, you see the flicker of wariness in them, the same hesitation that you’ve been feeling.

“Hey,” he greets you, his voice neutral but with a hint of something else. He’s not mad, but it’s clear he’s still hurt.

You bite your lip, knowing this is going to be a bit of a confrontation. “Can we talk?”

His gaze flickers to his friends, who are still hanging around, laughing and joking. He looks back at you, eyes narrowed slightly. “What about?”

You take a deep breath. “I just… I want to apologize for what happened at the party. I shouldn’t have ignored you like that.”

He raises an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “You’re serious?” He laughs dryly, a little incredulity in his tone. “After everything, now you want to apologize?”

You can tell he’s holding back, trying not to sound too hurt or too bitter, but you know him well enough by now to catch it. You step closer, lowering your voice so only he can hear. “Yeah, I’m serious. I messed up, okay? But can we talk about it, like, without everyone else around?”

Vernon hesitates, glancing at his friends again, who are still chatting, not paying much attention to either of you. He seems reluctant to leave them, but then he sighs and looks back at you. “I’m not sure what we’re gonna talk about that’s so urgent, but fine. Let’s go.”

You lead the way to the small café off-campus, the one where you both have shared stolen moments before. It’s always been a place for you to get away from everything and everyone. Just the two of you. You can’t help but hope this conversation will get you back to where you were before everything got so messy.

When you get there, Vernon still seems distant. He orders a coffee and takes a seat at one of the far booths, clearly not thrilled about being there, but you don’t let it stop you. You sit across from him, feeling the weight of the silence pressing down between you.

“So?” Vernon asks after a beat, his voice softer, more vulnerable than before.

You swallow hard, the guilt rushing back in full force. “I didn’t know how to handle it. I thought if I just ignored everything, it would be easier. I didn’t want to hurt Jennie, and I didn’t want you to think I was picking sides or something.”

Vernon leans back in the booth, clearly not convinced, but willing to listen. “And now? Now you’re ready to make it right?”

You nod, your eyes meeting his. “I don’t want to keep avoiding you. I never should have ignored you, Vernon. I care about you. I’m just… trying to figure things out.”

He stares at you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours, as if trying to gauge whether or not you mean it. Finally, he lets out a breath and looks away, taking a sip of his coffee. “You know, I didn’t expect it to be like this. I didn’t expect you to pretend I didn’t exist, Y/N.”

The words sting, but you know he’s right. You were too afraid of what it could mean to let yourself be real with him. You glance down at your hands, suddenly feeling the weight of everything you’ve been holding back. “I know. And I’m sorry for that. But I’m here now. I’m not running away anymore.”

Vernon doesn’t answer right away. He just stares at you, as if weighing your words. Then, slowly, he gives you a small nod. “Okay. I’ll take that.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “Thank you.”

He looks at you, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “But you still owe me something.”

You raise an eyebrow, confused. “What do you mean?”

His grin widens, the playfulness in his tone returning. “A little honesty. You can’t just tell me that you’re not running away and expect me to believe that everything’s all good now. I want to know why you were so damn scared of me.”

Your cheeks heat up, and you look away, embarrassed. “Vernon, stop.”

He chuckles, clearly enjoying teasing you. “Come on. Just admit it. You like me.”

You groan and shake your head, trying to hold back a smile. “Oh my God, you’re impossible.”

He leans forward, eyes glinting with mischief. “Just admit it, Y/N. I know you like me, at least a little.”

You roll your eyes, but there’s no denying the flutter in your stomach. “Fine, I like you a tiny bit. Happy now?”

Vernon’s grin softens, and he sits back in his seat, clearly satisfied. “Much better.”

There’s a shift in the air between you two, something lighter, more comfortable. You both know things aren’t perfect yet, but you’ve crossed a bridge, and it feels like a good step forward.

For the first time in a while, you’re not dreading what’s to come. You’re just here with him. And, for now, that’s enough.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The cold of winter had been relentless lately, and you’ve been spending most of your time bundled up in layers of blankets, trying to stay warm while surviving the stress of exam season. Between your studies, your sorority obligations, and the pressure of keeping everything balanced, you’ve barely had time for anything else.

But tonight, when you were in the middle of reviewing your notes, your phone buzzed with a message from Vernon.

Vernon: Yo, I’m locked out of the frat house. Can I crash at yours?

You bite your lip, glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one is around. Technically, you’re not allowed to have overnight guests, but you can’t help but feel for him. The cold night air must be unbearable, and you know Vernon well enough to know he won’t ask for help unless he really needs it.

You: I’m not supposed to have anyone here, but I’ll make an exception for you this time.

Vernon: Thanks. I swear I’ll be out of your hair by morning. Promise.

A few minutes later, Vernon’s at your door, his face a little red from the cold, looking as casual as ever in his hoodie and jeans. You step aside to let him in.

“You’re lucky I’m a softie for you,” you tease, but the warmth you’re offering him is genuine as he steps inside.

“I know. I owe you one,” Vernon replies, smiling that crooked smile of his that always manages to make your heart skip.

You show him to your room, where you pull out the air mattress you keep tucked away in the corner for emergencies like this. “I’ve got this, but it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world. You’re welcome to it.” You hand him a pillow and a blanket.

He frowns slightly, eyeing the air mattress. “It’ll do.” He flops down on it with a huff, and you return to your side of the room, trying to focus on your notes again.

But the chill in the room isn’t just from the weather. The heating’s been out in the house for the past few days, and no amount of blankets seems to be helping. After a few minutes of shivering under your own covers, you turn to Vernon on the floor.

“You’re probably freezing down there,” you say, already feeling guilty.

He shrugs, but you can tell from his expression that he’s cold.

“I don’t want you getting sick,” you continue. “You can join me in the bed, if you want. It’ll be warmer with both of us.”

Vernon looks at you for a beat, hesitating, but ultimately nods. “Ok. But no funny business.”

“Of course,” you say, trying to hide your grin, but your heart is already racing a little.

He slides into the bed next to you, and you both lie there, staring up at the ceiling, neither of you speaking for a long while. The silence is oddly comfortable, but it’s also loaded—with so many unsaid things.

The two of you just lay there, listening to the sounds of the night, the quiet of your room feeling oddly intimate with him so close.

Finally, Vernon breaks the silence with a sigh, his voice just above a whisper. “You know… we’d be great together.”

You snap your head toward him, caught completely off guard. “What?”

His eyes are already on you, his expression serious. “I’m tired of always having to say goodnight and go. I like you, and I want to be with you.”

Your heart does a flip in your chest. You stare at him, your mind scrambling to make sense of his words, unsure of how to respond.

“What?” you repeat, because you can’t think of anything else to say. Your voice is shaky, a mixture of disbelief and something else you can’t quite name.

Vernon sighs, his eyes softening as he looks at you. “You heard me.”

He shifts closer, his hand brushing against yours under the covers. There’s a vulnerability in his gaze that makes you feel like your heart might just fall out of your chest.

“I’m tired of pretending,” he adds quietly. “I can’t keep doing this—acting like I don’t want more than just late-night talks and goodbyes.”

You feel your chest tighten, a swirl of emotions crashing into you all at once. You want to say something, but words feel inadequate, too small for the way you’re feeling right now.

Instead, you just stare at him, your breath catching in your throat. He’s close now, so close that you can feel the heat from his body, and his eyes are filled with an intensity that you didn’t know he could have.

You open your mouth, but the words get stuck. What is there to say when everything between you feels so... complicated? So dangerous? You can’t let this happen. Not now.

But before you can respond, Vernon speaks again. “You don’t have to say anything. I just—” He pauses, shaking his head slightly, like he’s unsure of how to finish his thought. “I just needed you to know.”

Your heart is racing. You want to pull away, but something about the way he’s looking at you keeps you rooted to the spot. There’s no denying it anymore—there’s something between you and Vernon. Something real.

But the reality of your situation sinks in like a stone in your stomach. You can’t let it happen. Not now, not like this.

“I—Vernon…” You trail off, unable to finish. It’s like your brain is in a fog, fighting against your heart’s instincts.

Vernon’s hand brushes against yours again, his fingers almost touching yours. “I’m not asking for anything right now. I just want to be close to you. And I want you to know how I feel.”

For a moment, all you can do is lie there, lost in the weight of his words. You don’t know what to say, but you know that the longer you stay in this moment, the harder it’s going to be to walk away from whatever this is between you.

All you can do is look at him, and in the silence of the room, let his confession hang in the air.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The weight of the secret has been hanging over you for so long, and you've finally had enough of pretending. You’ve been running from this, trying to keep your two lives separate, but the pressure is starting to get unbearable. You know you can’t hide it anymore, not from Jennie—especially not now.

You find her in the living room of your sorority house, sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone. The warmth of the fire crackling in the background is a sharp contrast to the cold you’ve been carrying in your chest for weeks. You take a deep breath and sit next to her, your heart racing with anticipation.

“Hey, Jen?”

She looks up, a soft smile forming on her lips. “What’s up?”

“I—I need to tell you something,” you start, your words tripping over each other. “About... Vernon. And me.”

Jennie quirks an eyebrow, her smile widening. “Finally,” she says with a knowing look.

You blink, completely caught off guard. “Wait, what?”

Jennie laughs softly, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “I was wondering when you’d come clean.”

You stare at her, dumbfounded. “You knew?”

Her laugh grows louder as she shakes her head. “You’re really not the best liar, you know. I could tell something was up, and you weren’t exactly subtle about it.”

“I—" You cut yourself off, unable to form a coherent thought as the realization hits you. “So, that whole time you—?”

Jennie shrugs nonchalantly. “Yeah, I kept bringing up how much I hated his friend group because I wanted to see how long it would take you to crack. Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long.”

Your mouth drops open in shock, but then, something inside you relaxes. You laugh, feeling the tension inside of you dissolve for the first time in ages. “I can’t believe you knew this whole time and didn’t say anything!”

Jennie smirks, her eyes softening. “You needed to figure it out on your own. And hey, you did. So I’m happy for you.”

You feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. All the guilt, the secrets, the tension—all gone in an instant. Jennie is happy for you, and you didn’t have to hide anymore.

With a deep breath, you pull out your phone and send Vernon a quick text:

You: Come over. We need to talk.

The moment your finger leaves the send button, you can’t help but feel a rush of excitement mixed with nerves. Jennie notices your expression and gives you a soft, knowing smile.

“You’re doing the right thing,” she says, her voice gentle but firm. “Go after what you want.”

The doorbell rings a short while later, and you almost jump out of your skin. Jennie watches you go with a teasing smile, and you roll your eyes before heading to the door.

When you open it, Vernon’s standing there, a little unsure, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. His eyes search yours, as if he’s waiting for you to say something.

You pull him up the stairs once again, except this time, you don’t have to hide or worry about someone finding out. It’s strangely freeing.

“Hey,” you say softly, stepping aside so he can come in. “I, uh… I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and about everything.”

He steps inside your room, looking at you with a mixture of curiosity and hope in his eyes. And for a moment, you just stand there, the space between you two thick with unspoken words.

You take a deep breath, your nerves getting the best of you for just a second. “Vernon, I—I didn’t want to keep lying to myself anymore. Or to you. I told Jennie about us.”

Vernon’s eyes widen slightly, but he doesn’t interrupt.

“I’ve been hiding how I feel for so long,” you continue, stepping closer to him, “and it’s stupid. I don’t want to keep pretending. I like you. I really like you.”

A smile starts to tug at the corners of Vernon’s lips, and without thinking, you rush to add, “I’m not expecting anything, but I just—”

Before you can finish, Vernon cuts you off, closing the gap between you and pulling you into a kiss that feels like the weight of everything falling away. All the confusion, the guilt, the fear—it all melts as his lips find yours, soft and warm.

When he pulls back, his eyes are shining. “You don’t have to say anything more. I already know.”

You smile, your heart beating wildly. This is it. This is what you’ve been wanting, and now you’re finally getting it.

He pulls you into another kiss, deeper this time, and you can feel everything shifting between you two—like the world is finally falling into place.

The kiss is everything you’ve been wanting and more, full of tenderness and passion, but also full of understanding. You’ve both been waiting for this moment for a long time, and now it’s finally here.

When you break away, your foreheads rest against each other, both of you smiling like you’ve just found something precious.

“I think this is the start of something good,” Vernon murmurs, his voice full of certainty.

You nod, your heart full. “Yeah, I think it is.”

And for the first time in a long while, you feel truly happy, knowing that you’ve let go of your fears and embraced what you really want.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

author's note 𝟅𝟈 i love vernon and i love this song

masterlist.

[elusivecagedmockingbird]

Untitled

[jungkook x reader]

"You wanna know about art? When the class president starts touching my face on darkened street corners, and talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal."

Or THE popular fuckboy in your campus suddenly signs up as the figure model to one of your extracurricular activities and starts showing his interest in you.

A/N: I'm not sure where I went with this. Thus, untitled. I'm not even sure where this falls in the tags. But, enjoy!

-

Jungkook is at odds with himself.

Part of him wants to leave and forget about this stupid idea. He doesn't know what compelled him to listen to Jin. What exactly does the old man know about dating anyway? As far as he knows, he's never seen him with the same girl, so maybe he should have reached out to Namjoon instead. The other part is hyping himself up. In about a few minutes, you’ll be coming through those doors. It would be too late to back out now.

He chugs his bottled water as if he were thirsty. Jungkook thinks he'll pass out from anxiety. If not that, then from how warm it is inside this garage turned makeshift studio.

He feels the beads of sweat trickle down his back and pits.

This is not good.

The class is about to start and he'll be stripping down to his boxers and he's all sweaty. Thinking about that uneventful possibility makes him sweat more.

Fuck.

He notices someone walk towards the corner he has been hiding in. Judging by how good-looking his face is and the vintage clothing he wears, Jungkook surmises this must be the Senior organizing this art class. Taeyong? Taehyun?

Ah, Taehyung, he remembers just before the elder stands infront of him.

"You're Jungkook, right?"

Jungkook only nods as a response. His dry throat keeps him from speaking, afraid he squeaks out a reply and embarrasses himself more.

Thankfully, the other man is kind enough to not assume his silence as being standoffish.

"Nervous, huh?" Taehyung smirks, but Jungkook doesn't feel like he's being provoked. Rather, it actually calms him—at least the idea that it must be a common occurrence for models to exude this much anxiety that it's the first question people assume.

"That obvious?" He squeaks before clearing his throat. "Do all models get nervous on their first time?" Jungkook finally grounds his voice. Albeit, a bit meek for someone with a strong commanding aura and in a leather jacket.

Taehyung smiles and nods. "More than you expect. Which is understandable. Jin hyung told me you're doing this to learn more about art?"

No, he isn't, he internally protests. He doesn't know what Jin told Taehyung. The real reason he's here on a Sunday, as a supposed 'volunteer' model for a drawing class, is because of you.

The rest, he let Jin fill it out so Jungkook can secure the spot.

But of course, he wouldn't divulge those. So, Jungkook once again clears his throat before responding with a meek 'yes' as he shoots his empty water bottle in the can, making a clanging noise. He smiles sheepishly at the circled crowd whose attention he caught. He cringes at how much he's going out of his way to act cool. He's never this way, and yet, he wants to make sure you witness him with his best foot forward today.

Jungkook sways on the balls of his feet, taking in the space when he sees you—just as you were hooking your bag in your chair.

Goddamn, you're pretty. He's watching you laugh with another girl stationed near your table as you lay out your tools.

"Ready when you are." Taehyung breaks him out of his trance, and he replies with a sheepish nod—hoping he wasn't caught staring at you.

Jungkook starts by taking off his shoes, then his leather jacket. He unbuttons his pants with briefs in tow and the thought that you would be looking at his crotch makes him blush. He shamelessly imagines you and him as Jack and Rose in that sketching scene. But, before he can pull his jeans down, a booming baritone voice hollers at him.

Taehyung hurries towards him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Jungkook freezes at the sudden aggression. His mouth puckers open and close like a fish coming up for air, as he struggles to come up with a reply.

Taehyung tilts his head and assesses the young man with a pout. "Did Seokjin not tell you this isn't a nude class? We just need you to strip to your shirt and jeans," Taehyung clarifies in a whisper.

Embarrassment floods Jungkook and he sputters out an apology. He silently curses himself between nervous laughs and incoherent words of what seemed to be apologies. Shy doe eyes peeps at you and the confused and scandalized look painted on your face makes him want to get swallowed by the ground and never reappear in front of you ever again.

You must think he’s some kind of a creep or worse, a flasher. With a big exhale, he tries to set aside the embarrassment and go through this. It's already bad enough that his nerves and recent embarrassment made a sweat stain on his shirt.

Not long after, Jungkook stands in the middle of the circle of easels. It actually isn't bad, he thinks. Most of the time, he's staring at wood stands and the occasional heads peeking out of the canvas.

You're on his side, so he can only see you through his peripheral vision. Even so, he can already visualize the vein popping on your forehead when you concentrate—just one of the things he adores on your face.

That afternoon, Jungkook finds out he likes the thought of you paying this much attention and focus on him, instead of the other way around.

He holds his growing smile at bay.

-

The hour-long class went quicker than Jungkook wanted. He takes his time picking up his jacket and pretends to search for something in his bag as he waits for you to pack up. However, you never rise from your seat.

It takes Taehyung tapping your shoulder to bring you out of your world. "You still get tomorrow, Y/N," he hears Taehyung remind you before walking around the room, checking progress.

Jungkook didn't mean to eavesdrop more, but when you stood up and followed Taehyung, he couldn't help but tune in to your conversation.

"I need a little more time to fix a few edges. Can I just extend for a while? I'll clean up the supplies room." You bargain, voice kept low as if you're making an illegal trade with Taehyung.

Jungkook hears the older man sigh and call your name softly. "You still have tomorrow to work on it, and the next few days. Plus, I can't suddenly ask the model to stay just for you."

You whine petulantly like a child and Jungkook wonders if he can make you whine under different situations. Perhaps, under hi—

"He can go. I just need—"

The moment he makes out your reply, Jungkook was quick to cut you off and offer his time. "I can stay for a while."

Both you and Taehyung turn your heads to face the man who looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but he might as well have been. Your glowered confused eyes stare into him. "I-if you want," he stutters, so he tries to salvage his image with an obviously feigned nonchalant shrug.

Taehyung holds back his laugh but the sudden expulsion of air from his nose wasn't amiss, earning a side eye from you.

"No need," you answer with finality. "You get paid by the hour, right? I can't pay you and—"

"You don't have to pay me. I'm offering for free." Jungkook internally winces at how quick he was in offering himself. But if he were being honest, he would stay in this shoddy garage all night, through the blazing summer heat, as long as it's time spent with you.

Is it a crime that he's quick to take an opportunity when it has presented itself?

He thinks abso-fucking-lutely not.

Your eyebrows furrow, the 'I wasn't done talking' death glare you directed at Jungkook has him shift awkwardly on his foot and look everywhere else but at you.

"Still, I'd get in trouble for requesting more time, anyway. Can't have other students think Taehyung here has favorites." You press and it chips a bit of his confidence. It was obvious you didn't want him to stay. If he keeps insisting, you might think he's creepy.

Jungkook didn't want to seem too pushy anyway, and so, lets out a defeated "Oh.." and nods. His round eyes making it easy to see his dismay as it curves downwards a little at the sides.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Taehyung intervenes. The older man was amused as he watched Jungkook flounder around you, he also knows how oblivious and dismissive you are of guys like Jungkook to a fault. And so, he helps.

Ah, young love, Taehyung muses. "Just make sure to clean up and lock up after, like you promised." He tosses the keys to you, but you make no movement of catching it, letting the keys hit your chest and fall to the ground.

Now your glare is directed towards your sunbaenim. "On second thought, I'm wrapping it up for tonight then." You head towards your easel to pack up your stuff.

Taehyung sighs.

He tells Jungkook to wait a bit and pick up the keys as he follows after you, calling your name.

“Just take the guy's offer to help. He’s trying to learn more about art, too,” he whispers, arms crossing across his chest. "Isn't this the piece you're submitting with your application? I know that head of yours will run nonstop if you don't finish what you intended to do tonight." Taehyung nudges you with a smile and softly jabs his pointer finger to your temple, making you chuckle with a pout. You shoo his hand away from your face and he knows he got you to stay.

This Jungkook kid owes him, Taehyung thinks.

However, from where Jungkook stands, he sees you breaking out the cutest smile at Taehyung. His eyes even going bigger at what he believes is an affectionate touch to your face when Taehyung boops your forehead.

Is that even ethical or something, he wonders irately. Taehyung isn't much older but given that he's your sunbaenim, Jungkook thinks he shouldn't be doing that. Or even be standing close to you. He's currently throwing imaginary lasers at Taehyung's back when you both turn to him and he immediately unsquints his eyes.

"Jungkook, do you still want to stay?" Taehyung shouts at the young man.

Yes.

A hundred times yes. He's a lovesick loyal puppy and if you ask him to bark, he'll bark for you.

Jungkook nods enthusiastically and rushes closer to where you stand, eager to wedge himself between you and Taehyung.

-

"Jungkook," you sigh his name tiredly. "I really need you to stop moving your head. Is there something more interesting behind me?" The question was rhetorical, but you're starting to wonder what he keeps on staring at behind you that you turn your head, only to be greeted with a wall filled with hanged canvases.

You hear him mumble out a you with a smirk, but was quick to cover it up with a sorry. This guy think he was slick.

Jungkook turns his head to assume his supposed pose. His eyes still filled with mirth. And he lasts about four minutes before his head starts turning towards you. Again.

You throw your head forward with an exhausted groan. This was a mistake. You're growing more frustrated by the minute. Maybe you should call it a night.

Looking back up at your model, you tell him he can leave.

Jungkook breaks his stance then quickly poses as he quickly persuades you. "No, I'll stay still. Look," he promises and follows through quickly by holding the pose.

"No, I'm just really too tired for tonight. Thank you for staying a bit longer." You busy yourself by grabbing at your stuff, cleaning pencil shards here and there to keep the lurking unease.

You can't have a breakdown here again, you admonish yourself. And it's going to feel worse after if Jungkook's here to see it happen. You keep your head down while your hands wipe the charcoal dust on the table.

You hear footsteps nearing you, and you pray to whoever listens that he's not actually coming closer. He calls your name, his voice close and soft. You hum in response, head still hung low, refusing to face him.

Jungkook sees you rubbing an eraser at a blank surface and purses his lips. He finally got the chance to spend time with you and he was hoping to break the ice and get closer to you, but he does this—he upset you and wasted your time. You're not gonna want to spend more time with him after this.

"I-I'm sorry. I really wanted to help. I can stay again tomorrow to make up for tonight," he offers. Everything about him screams eagerness and he must really be interested in art to be willing to stay in the garage-slash-studio during this Summer heat.

You feel the tingling pressure in your throat and your lips quiver. You clear your throat and will away the tears before it breaks through your paper wall.

"No. You did great, Jungkook. I'm just not feeling well tonight." Your voice was too soft, but at least it didn't break.

Jungkook walks around you and turns to face you, hands making contact with your shoulder. "Are you sick? I have some medicine in my bag," he offers. He retracts his hand and unzips his bag to take out whatever medicine he had stashed inside.

It's his genuine concern that does it for you. You suddenly sob and cover your face with your hands.

"Oh, Y/N, are you okay? Does something hurt?" He didn't expect this. Jungkook was taken aback and his worried eyes looked for signs of where you could have been hurt.

Your sobs turned to full-on bawling and Jungkook was quick to take you into his arms. He lets you cry and occasionally whispers assurances between your weeping despite not knowing why you suddenly burst into tears.

In that moment, you stood illuminated by harsh yellowish fluorescent lights like a Gustav Klimt painting on display. The A/C humming noise drowned out by your hiccups and his whispers.

You were the first to pull away. He didn't mean to, but the moment you separated from Jungkook and lowered your hands from your face, he laughed.

Offended at his reaction, you push him away and quickly gather your bag hanging on the chair.

"Wait," he calls for you as he fumbles to pick up the bag he let fall to the floor.

He calls your name but you decidedly ignore him, feet shuffling quickly to leave the garage.

Fucking ass, you think. You're mortified. You already dread tomorrow as your imagination runs wild. What if he tells his friends about your ugly crying? You think you don't care what frat guys think, but you still definitely don't want to be the talk of the campus. You've only transferred here last year and after being briefed by your friend on who to avoid, you made sure not to have a run in with guys like Jungkook.

This is exactly why you were holding everything in earlier. Every stereotype of frat guys being huge assholes behind the charming facade were true.

A flash of high school memories ambush you and you just want to get to your dorm and hide under your blankets. You'll just have to miss tomorrow's class, you plan.

You violently shrug when you feel a hand grip your wrist.

"Hey, will you wait," Jungkook pleads. You turn to face him and see him reach something in his pockets.

Fuck. He's not going to take a photo, isn't he?

You were ready to lunge at him, anything to prevent him from taking a snap at your post-bawl blotched face, when all of sudden, a soft cloth touched your face.

Jungkook chuckles at your startled face.

"You have charcoal smudged all over your face," he points out. His bunny teeth peeks through his curved lips and the sides of his eyes wrinkle from amusement.

"Oh." You visibly flinch when he uses his thumb to brush the apple of your cheeks.

"There," he smiles, eyes fixated on his finger caressing your skin.

"You know you really have pretty eyes."

If you were in a romantic movie, his line would have panned out well. But you're not, so cue the sound of glass breaking to signify a shattered moment.

To think, you bought his act. You thought, here's a deviant frat boy species. Maybe not all of them are only interested in girls and booze. You even thought this Jeon Jungkook isn't so bad.

Until he says that.

Breaking away and stepping back from him, you humorlessly laugh in disbelief.

"You're a fucking cliché, Jungkook. Does this babble usually work on chicks?" You take a look at him and he has the audacity to look unaware of how hokey the situation is.

"Wha—" Poor boy couldn't even finish his sentence, you thought.

"Y/N, I'm not following."

You were about to make a joke on flies flying straight to his agape mouth but you hold yourself back. Instead, you make a gesture of shaking your head as you force out another dry laugh. You look at him one last time and walk away from the frat boy once again.

You hear his footsteps follow you, along with calls of your name. "Did I say something wrong?"

You stop as you reach the threshold—you're almost out of the garage and out into the cold dark night, ready to rush into the safety of your dorm and away from sleazy college boys.

But something in you compels you to turn, and so you do. "Yes, Jungkook. You did." Your hands grip your bag tighter, feet taking a couple of steps back into the garage, to the shoddy light so he can see you.

"Did you really think this charming ‘oh-i’m-clueless act was going to drop panties? You wanna know about art?" You hurl the question; voice no longer shaky and unsure. "When the campus playboy starts touching my face on dimly lit spaces, and starts talking about my eyes, there's a word for it. There's an entire movement in the 20's—it's called surreal." You roll your eyes at him before making your exit.

It takes a minute for Jungkook to get his body to move. And when he does, you're already a distance away. Almost gone from his sight.

This is the second time today that you rendered him immobile and speechless. Just what the fuck did he do?

-

Meanwhile, you cursed at Jeon Jungkook on your entire walk home. Fuck him and his round innocent eyes for throwing the bees and butterflies in your stomach into chaos.

You tell yourself you dodged a bullet and that was just a ploy for him to get into your pants. You should actually congratulate yourself for turning away one of the notorious womanizers. Your roommate would be proud of you.

Still, you couldn't deny the jolt you felt in your chest when he touched your face and spewed those cheesy lines about your eyes.

You grunt as you slam the door to your dorm.

"Damn. Who pissed you off?" Jihyo, your roommate stares at you across her table.

You heave a sigh of exhaustion and plop yourself on the carpeted floor. "Had a run in with a frat guy," you spit with a scowl. "You remember the guy you were talking about last week? Jungkook? He's the model for this week."

"Seriously? That's..." Jihyo's head tilted sideways as she looked for the right word, brows furrowing. "Out of character for him."

You raise your head and prop your arms to face your roommate. "Right? That's what I thought, but Taehyung said he was interested in learning art."

At this, Jihyo pauses while eating and guffaws. "Is he for real?"

You roll your eyes at no one in particular and rest your head on your palms as your other hand plucks at the carpet. "Nah, I'm pretty sure he was just there to pick up girls."

Jihyo squints at you, suddenly alert as she senses something you haven't told her yet.

"He hit on me," you start. Already growing flustered at the recollection of the afternoon. "You know those cheesy lines from romcoms, he actually used them on me." You went on detail by detail about what happened and ended your story with a shudder. "This is the first time I might dread going to the class."

"Yep, I see why he thinks he could get away with the cheesiest line," Jihyo murmurs. Apparently, during your story, Jihyo picked up her phone and started to stalk Jungkook's profile. "I mean shame it wasn't nude because have you seen this body?" She flips her phone so you can see her screen.

"What? That's not Jungkook." You stand from your spot and walk closer to Jihyo and snatch the phone. "This isn't Jungkook."

"What are you talking about? That’s literally his profile,” Jihyo takes her phone back, wanting to take another look if you’re looking at the same thing. “See, Kim Jongkook. He’s the notorious fuck boy, probably in all departments. Good thing is, he’s graduating this year.”

Oh, fuck.

-

>> Still Untitled

[kibblz-n-bitz]

Putting On A Show

Summary: After liberating a country, you and Luffy have some "fun" in front of an audience.

8k words

Tags: Exhibitionism (obviously), multiple orgasms, squirting, a hint of humiliation, creampie, oral sex, penetrative sex, biting

I've worked so hard on this fic! I hope y'all enjoy (I know I did😉)

Laughter and joy filled the air. You let out a relieved sigh, turning to your captain sitting at the head of the table. Bandages littered his skin, reminders of their most recent battle. Despite them, he was laughing and clapping along to the music Brook was playing. 

It was a fierce battle on some random island you and your crew had managed to stumble upon. Some powerful pirate had taken over the land, and the people on it lived in fear. It was only a matter of time before your captain decided to defeat the other pirate, just because someone had shown him charity (All it took was a little girl giving him a sandwich). The strawhats were all exhausted from the battle, but ready to relax with a banquet held in their name. You smiled to yourself as you looked around at your crewmates. 

The king of the island approached your table. You were giggling and chatting with Nami about stealing when he cleared his throat, announcing his presence to the distracted pirates. 

“I cannot express my gratitude enough,” He began, “I never would have thought that pirates would be the ones to liberate my country as they were also the ones to enslave it. Please, help yourself to as much food and drink as you’d like. There’s plenty to go around.”

“We will.” Zoro and Luffy said in unison.

“There is another matter I would like to discuss with your captain.” He cleared his throat once more, trying to get the attention of Luffy, who had his mouth stuffed with food in a matter of seconds. “Walk with me, if you will.”

“Can I take this with me?” Luffy picked up the biggest bowl of meat he could find. The king chuckled with a “but of course.”

The king left with your captain and his food in tow, and the strawhats went back to their own plates.

“What do you think that was all about? Seemed kinda serious.” Usopp noted as he brought some noodles into his mouth.

“Maybe he’s giving us some treasure as a gift!” Nami squealed, her eyes practically turning into Beri signs.

“Or perhaps he’s lured our captain away so he could kill him while nobody was around.” Robin said. Usopp shouted “that’s not funny!” as Chopper and Nami stared at her with a shocked expression.

“Gimme a break. You think that old bastard could take out our captain?” Zoro huffed as he took a swig of his drink. His cheeks were a bit flushed, as he was well onto his 18th cup of sake. “He’s probably just thanking Luffy or somethin’. Nothing our captain can’t handle.”

You leaned back in your chair. Despite everyone’s dismissive behavior, you really were curious as to what the two were discussing. Like Usopp pointed out, the king looked rather serious. But Zoro was right, if he was a threat then Luffy could definitely handle it. Your captain was reliable like that, and it was one of the many qualities you loved him for.

Your relationship with your captain was relatively new. You had joined the strawhat pirate crew after they had reunited in Sabaody. It was a funny coincidence, actually. At that time, you had heard many stories about Strawhat Luffy and his wild behavior. Of course, most of your information came from news articles, so naturally he was painted as a violent criminal, untamed and extremely dangerous (As if his bounty wasn’t intimidating enough). But, the first time you had ever laid eyes on him, he was running around with some big ass backpack on, and a mustache- a poor excuse for a disguise. The marines were around and he looked frantic, unintentionally drawing more and more attention to himself.

You rolled your eyes. Was this really the guy who declared war against the world government? The same guy who fought at Marineford? Really? You decided to take pity on the poor boy as he ran around the archipelago like a chicken without its head. When he ran past you, you quickly grabbed the bag he had on his back and used its weight to shove him into a nearby alley. Surprisingly, the alley was wide enough that the bag fit. 

“What the hell are you doing?” You whisper-yelled. Luffy shook his head, as if he just now realized he was in an alley with you and not out in the open anymore.

“I’m looking for my crew. There’s too many marines out there. Stupid marines.” He huffed, crossing his arms. You fought the urge to laugh. He looked a little ridiculous with his disguise. 

“You’re Monkey D. Luffy, right?” 

“Yep. That’s me!” He grinned, before pausing and slapping his hands over his mouth. “I-I mean… Whoooo’re you talking about? I dunno that guy. He sounds kinda cool though.”

You laughed. He was such a terrible liar. It was almost… cute. The way he pursed his lips and refused to make eye contact as he pretended as if he didn’t blow his own cover a few seconds before.

“Don’t worry Luffy. I’m not gonna sell you out.” You snickered.

“Then why did ya help me?” He asked with a tilt of his head. You hummed to yourself, thinking. You weren’t entirely sure yourself. You just felt the need to help him when he was lost.

“I don’t know. I just figured you could use it. Your disguise is pretty shitty by the way,” You said as you stretched, considering your next words carefully. “I can… help you find your crew, if you’d like.”

The boy lit up. He jumped forward and grabbed your shoulders, his eyes shining like stars. You briefly regretted your decision, wondering if you’d made a mistake.

“REALLY? That would be great!!!! Thank you!” He practically shouted. You slapped a hand over his mouth as you noticed an officer nearby turn his head in your direction. There was no way in hell this boy could get around the archipelago by himself and not get caught.

“Could you at least try to be quiet? I’m doing you a favor here.” You chastised him and sighed, once again doubting your decision. “Do you know where you’re supposed to be meeting them?”

Luffy nodded and told you the grove he needed to be at. You weren’t too far away, but the minute you got closer to their ship Luffy took off, grabbing your hand and dragging you in the process. So much for leading him there, you grumbled to yourself in your head.

Once Luffy saw the Sunny he immediately catapulted himself towards it, taking you along with him. You didn’t expect him to take you with him. In fact, you weren’t even sure if Luffy was aware that he’d brought you along with him, because he never looked back once the Sunny came into view. You watched as his crew cried out and hugged him, feeling a bit out of place. You inched to the side of the ship, looking for a place to get off and back onto the ground. 

“Luffy, who is that?” a voice called attention to you. You blushed and pushed yourself to the rails, nervous under the infamous pirates gazes. This is it, you panicked internally, they’re gonna think I’m an intruder and try to kill me. Images of news stories warning of crew members like the hunter Roronoa Zoro and Nico Robin flooded your mind, and you swallowed. Your mouth was dry.

“That’s my friend! She’s the one who helped me get here actually.” Luffy chirped, running to stand next to you. The boy snickered, “If it weren’t for her, I would’ve been caught by the marines!”

“Okay, what’s her name?” Zoro asked, arms crossed and heads tossed to the side. God, he was fucking scary. Sporting a scarred eye and bulging muscles.

“It’s… uh...” Luffy trailed off, hand to his chin. He turned to you. “What’s ya name again?”

“STOP BRINGING RANDOM PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW THE NAMES OF ONTO THE SHIP!” Nami barked as she conked her captain on the head.

“It’s… Y/N. I didn’t know that I’d be meeting you all here, I just saw Luffy and it seemed like he needed my help, so…” You trailed off, unsure of yourself. You cursed yourself mentally. I’m making myself sound like a wet napkin, you groaned mentally. 

“Y/N!!! Welcome to my crew!” Luffy laughed and slapped a hand onto your back. You choked on your spit. What the fuck did he just say?

“LUFFY!” The entire group shouted in unison.

“Whaat? It’s no big deal. She’s really strong!” That much was true. You spent your days as an assassin and that required a lot of training. Luffy huffed and crossed his arms. “And anyways, I’m the captain and I want her on my crew!”

“Luffy, did you even ask her if she wants to join? She looks uncomfortable.” Nami let out a frustrated sigh, bringing a hand to her temples. “I have to apologize for my captain Y/N. He can be a selfish, reckless idiot most of the time. Would you like to join us?” 

You smiled. Of course he was. But the more time you spent with him, the more you felt drawn to him. He had some sort of boyish charm, wild and carefree. He inspired you, and you felt disappointed at the thought of leaving him and going back to your boring, repetitive life.

You looked at Luffy and met his gaze. He grinned at you. Maybe joining him was a good idea. Was it crazy to want adventure in your life? You weren’t sure, but you wanted to find out. Turning back to Nami, you nodded with a surge of confidence.

Smiling to yourself, you remembered your days with Luffy. You were both drawn to each other, and the crew noticed immediately. It didn’t take long for you to warm up to the crew either. They all loved you the way you loved them. And it didn’t hurt that you were quite attractive. Curvy and soft, you loved the way you looked and it was safe to say that others did too.

You were lost in thought when Luffy roamed back to the table, without the bowl. He had a weird look on his face, like he was thinking really hard about something. That was definitely a first for Luffy.

“Something the matter, buddy?” Franky asked. “What’d that old geezer want with ya anyway?”

“He told me somethin’ about me and Y/N,” He said as he scooped food onto a brand new plate. No clue where he even got it from. Your brow raised. “He said somethin’ ‘bout a tradition ceremony or somethin’. Has to do with me and her. He said there was free food! And treasure after the event ceremony thing!”

Nami squealed, fist bumping the air. You were still confused. “What event, Luffy? And what do we have to do with it?”

“Somfin abou a…” Luffy swallowed the food in his mouth he was trying to speak around. “Constipation… in front of an audience I think? He said it’s s’posed to be really fun for us though.”

Your face scrunched, you were even more confused than before. The rest of the crew looked at each other, equally as confused. They knew their captain gravely misunderstood something important the king had said, and it was up to them to decipher what he meant. They sat in silence for a minute before the king once again approached the table.

“Before those pirates had taken over our village, we had a tradition during banquets like these. A couple chosen for the night would feast, consummate in front of an audience, and be rewarded with riches and good fortune afterward.”

In a matter of seconds, Sanji spit the wine he was taking a sip of onto Zoro. You choked on your own saliva and, at the same time as Nami, cried out “WHAT?” Usopp flushed and Robin did as well, she brought a hand to her mouth with an almost scandalized gasp. Luffy looked around, confused. 

“Huh? What? What does that mean?” Luffy asked with a tilt to his head.

“Forget it! They’re not gonna do some weird sex show for you damn perverts!” Nami yelled, pointing at the king. His expression remained the same- a kind, seemingly warm smile.

“Oh it is certainly more than that. It is an act our ancestors have honored for a very long time. It is to honor the couple, to bring them good fortune. We see it as a tribute of sorts.” He tried to explain.

“Waow! Didn’t know this island was full of perverts.” Franky chuckled with approval.

“Well, it’s kinda too late to say no now, ‘cause I already agreed to it.” Luffy shrugged before shoving more food into his mouth. Your mouth went dry as another wave of shock passed over the group.

“YOU IDIOT!” Nami hollered at her captain. “Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself? Think about Y/N! What if she doesn’t want to do this?”

Luffy blinked, then turned to you. He hadn’t thought about that. Luffy didn’t really care whether or not people saw the two of you together. The captain lived without an ounce of shame in his body, so the prospect of food, sex with you, and treasure sounded like a really good idea. But the way you were staring down at the table told him you didn’t think so.

You were silent for a minute as the crew argued with each other. Looking up at the king, you asked, “How much treasure?”

The crew went silent as they waited for the king’s response.

“We have lots of gold and riches left from the old pirates.” The king stroked his beard in thought. “And since you’ve helped our kingdom, we are willing to give you half.”

Nami’s jaw dropped. She whipped her head to you, and you felt you knew what she was going to say. But instead, she sighed.

“Y/N… you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.” She reminded you as she placed her hands on your shoulders. The navigator sat back down in her seat beside you as you stared at your plate once again, thinking. You could feel the crews’ eyes on you, waiting for your decision. 

You mentally weighed the pros and cons of actually going through with this. On one hand, you were a little embarrassed at the thought of showing such an intimate part of yourself to a bunch of strangers. But on the other, more convincing hand, there was a really big reward at the end. It’s not like you were going to see these people again anyways. Was an hour or two of getting plowed by your boyfriend in front of a crowd worth it for millions or beris worth of treasure? 

Yes, you decided, it was.

“I’ll do it.” You turned to the king. He nodded with the same smile on his face as before. 

“Very well. I will make preparations at once. Our servants will fetch you when the time is right.” With that, the king had left the room.

An awkward silence momentarily fell over the group. Usopp and Sanji stared at you with mouths wide, in shock. Nami was also surprised, if the look on her face said anything about it.

“Didn’t take you for a pervert either, Y/N!” Franky said with a chuckle.

“Y/N… are you sure you want to do this? It’s okay if you don’t want to… we’d all understand if you called this off.” Nami reached over to grab your hand, concern etched onto her face. “Don’t do this just for us.”

“Trust me, I’m not.” You reassured Nami and held her hand. “And I’m not a pervert either, Franky. I just figured that if Luffy doesn’t care, then why should I? It’s not like we’ll be visiting this island again. And besides- we’re pirates! I’d be damned if I’m letting all that treasure go to waste.”

“Well, if you say so. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.” Usopp shrugged, his face a little flushed.

“Hm? What do you mean, Usopp?” You placed your chin on your hand and leaned forward a bit, a shit-eating grin crawling onto your face. You narrowed your eyes at him across the table. “You wanna watch?”

You laughed when he screamed, a flush blooming onto his face. He sputtered and the others joked around, falling back into their casual banter. You watched them resume their old conversation when you felt a hand lace through yours. You smiled, knowing it was Luffy. He was physically affectionate, and loved holding your hand whenever he could.

“‘M sorry I didn’t ask ya first.” Luffy said as he finished off his 4th plate. That boy could eat. 

“It’s okay. Besides, this should be fun, right?” You nudged him with your shoulder, giggling at his wide grin. He nodded eagerly.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You stared at yourself in the mirror, hands clammy and body cold. You were nervous, now that ceremony was moments away. 

Earlier, two maids came to collect you from where you were sitting with your crew. There was a small preparation ritual you needed to go through, they explained. They led you to some sort of spa-room, with various amounts of fruits and pastries on a table in one corner. They encouraged you to help yourself and relax. You took a warm bath, with sweet scented herbs wafting through the air and petals in the tub. After you had climbed out, there was clothing laid out for you. A white silk feathered robe, one that hugged your curves and felt smooth against your skin. Nothing else.

I guess they want us to get straight to the point, you thought to yourself. You rolled your shoulders, trying to shake the anxiety out of your bones. You wished Luffy were with you. He’d kiss your fears away and tell you that you’d be fine. He’d help you get out of your head and live in the moment. But he wasn’t here. The royal servants had you two prepare yourselves in separate rooms. A soft smile spread across your face as you thought of Luffy, who had probably eaten all the treats laid out for him and asked for more. 

Sitting on a cushy loveseat, you ate some fruit and anxiously awaited the servants’ return. Waiting like this would kill you, but it wasn’t like you could leave and find your boyfriend yourself. You would just have to sit here, just you and your brain, and wait to be called so you could have sex in front of a crowd. No big deal. 

A soft knock on the door saved you from your spiraling thoughts. The servant from before peeked her head through it. “Ms. L/N? The ceremony is ready for you now.”

They led you down a strange and looming hallway. You tried to psych yourself up. It worked at first, but started to lose its effect the more you walked.

“Y/N? HEEEEY!” You heard a shout from behind you. You didn’t get the chance to turn before a weight collided with your back, pushing you forward. Steadying yourself, you reached an arm back to pet through the soft, jet-black hair you knew you’d find. 

“Hi Luffy.” You smiled. You could feel your anxiety melting away in his presence.  You could feel the warmth of his smile as he tightened his arms around you and nuzzled into the back of your neck. This is what you loved about him. The way he was able to calm your nerves and make you feel so safe and warm just by being near him. “You excited?”

“Hmm? For what?” Luffy unraveled himself off of you so he could lace your fingers together. The two of you kept walking, following the royal servants. They claimed you two were nearing the ceremony’s auditorium. You raised an eyebrow at Luffy before realization dawned across his face. “Oh! That?” he shrugged, “I dunno. I’m more excited about bein’ with ya. I don’t really care if people see us, so it doesn’t make much of a difference to me.”

You blushed at Luffy’s boldness, but you had expected an answer like that from someone like him. With a squeeze of his hand, the two of you approached two large doors.

“Beyond these doors is the entrance to the stage, where you two will be conducting the ceremony. We wish you the best of luck and we thank you for all that you have done for us.” The servants bowed their heads and opened the doors.

You and Luffy looked at each other and you took a deep breath before nodding and stepping through them together.

You and him walked onto a stage. A large bed was placed in the middle of it. White sheets, a couple pillows, and a small nightstand with two water bottles were the only things there. You swallowed, mouth dry. You heard a few cheers as the two of you made your way to the bed. Luffy looked at you. He had a feeling you might be nervous, so he squeezed your hand before lifting his other to your face and pulling you in. His lips met yours. It was… surprisingly gentle. Normally Luffy is fueled by passion lit deep in his stomach. But when his face pressed against yours, he was sweet and soft.  

“Don’t think about them,” He murmured against your lips when he pulled back. He brought the hand that held yours to the other side of your face, cradling your head between his palms. He felt so warm. “Just focus on me, yeah?” 

You nodded and sighed into his mouth when he pulled you in once more. You were so wrapped up in your lips moving against Luffy’s you didn’t notice you were moving, until Luffy pulled away to sit back on the bed. His hands slid to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. He pulled his hat from where it hung against his collarbone to place it on the bed. His garments were similar to yours in that they were silky white, but he only wore baggy parachute pants held up with a drawstring. You assumed he was also bare underneath, if his half hard length had anything to say about it. You whined into his mouth as you straddled him, one hand buried in his soft jet-black hair. The other trailed down his neck and over the X-shaped scar on his chest. Luffy gasped into your mouth, his scar tissue sensitive. His hands tightened on your waist and he pushed you onto him, trying to garner a bit of friction against his rapidly hardening member. 

“F-fuck, Y/N…” It was Luffy’s turn to sigh into your mouth. With a shudder, he brought up a hand to undo the belt that held your robe closed. When it fell open, Luffy grabbed your waist- underneath the robe this time. You whimpered when his hand gripped your flesh and squeezed, his palms igniting fires against your skin. When he went to pull the robe off of you, you stopped him.

“Not yet.” You whispered against his lips when he tilted his head at you in confusion. He seemingly understood because he went back to wrestling his tongue with yours, your kisses becoming more and more heated as time passed. You swayed your hips against his, reveling in the whine that escaped from Luffy’s mouth. He seemed to get a little more restless, because he suddenly stood, giggling when you gasped against him. He turned around with you in his arms, before tossing you onto the bed. You yelped.

“L-Luffy!” You looked at him, scandalized. Luffy shrugged it off with a laugh, kicking off his sandals and crawling after you. He had a dark look in his eyes as he situated himself between your legs. The two of you laid together on the bed with your sides facing the audience. You figured Luffy did it this way so you wouldn’t have to face them directly, and your heart swelled with love for the man in front of you. He could be considerate when it really mattered, and it made moments like these all the more special. Your hand twisted into his hair and pulled him back down to you. He groaned into your mouth and rutted his hips into yours. He was hard, painfully so, and you wanted to help him the way you knew how. You locked your legs and rolled him over. He grunted in surprise at the position change, blinking up at you with wide eyes. You pressed a kiss to his lips playfully and pulled back to sit on top of him.

“Let me take care of you right now, m’kay?” You leaned back down and pressed kisses to his neck. Luffy groaned, head falling back against the pillow. His breath came quicker as you trailed kisses down his chest, pausing momentarily to suck on a nipple, before continuing downward. He was full on panting by the time you reached his navel. “Luffy… Look at me. Watch me.”

He brought his head up from the pillow and blinked his eyes open to watch you. You pulled back momentarily to undo the drawstring of his pants. You slid the silk down his hips, eyeing down his length as it slapped against his lower belly. He pushed himself up onto his hands to watch you move your hair out of your face and grip his length, hissing through his teeth as you gave it a few pumps. You brought it to your mouth and kissed the tip sweetly, before locking eyes with your captain again and dragging your tongue up the underside of his dick. He hissed as you traced the vein running along his dick, and grunted when you finally sealed your lips around his tip

“Fhh- Y/N… stop teasing,” Luffy whined, his hips squirming to try and get you to take more into your mouth. You grinned as much as you could and pushed his hips down against the bed. Deciding to have mercy on the poor boy, you tightened your lips around him and sucked gently, taking him deeper into your mouth. He groaned as he watched you bring a hand to stroke his dick, using your spit to help your hand glide easier. You whined at the feeling of his weight on your tongue, bobbing your head. Luffy was shaking, bringing a hand to card through your hair. You could tell he was trying to be patient and not fuck your throat the way he wanted to, so you decided to reward him by swallowing him deeper. He let out a cry before whimpering, “C-can I? Please?” 

“Please what, Luffy?” You pulled off of his dick with a pop and stroked him as you waited for him to answer. He squirmed and whimpered as you gripped him tighter. “Use your words.”

Luffy let out an exasperated sigh as he held your face, forcing you to look at him. “Can I fuck your throat? Please?”

You hummed and nodded, kissing his tip before opening your mouth, the flat of your tongue pressing against the underside of his dick. Looking up at Luffy, the two of you locked eyes as you sucked him deeper, deeper down your throat until your nose nestled in the coarse hair at the base of his cock. He threw his head back and groaned as his hand tightened in your hair, holding your head in place. His hips ground against your face. Drool spilled out of the sides of your mouth, your chin sloppy and messy. You tried to hold your breath as your throat constricted around his cock. When he finally loosened his grip on your hair, you pulled back to catch your breath. You didn’t take too long though, because after a moment you dove forward again, pushing yourself past the tears that slid down your cheeks. You hummed as Luffy used his hold on you to build up a steady rhythm, alternating between bobbing you up and down his length and stuffing himself down your throat.

Luffy was panting and whining, and you could tell he was close before he stuttered the warning to you. This made you double your efforts, sucking him down and swirling your tongue around his cock. Luffy let out a broken moan, and that was all the warning you got before he pushed you as far as he could go. You held yourself still as he released down your throat, swallowing as much as you could. Luffy always came a lot, so even when he released you and you pulled back you still had enough cum in your mouth keeping it full. You blinked up at him through teary lashes and swallowed, panting and finally taking the chance to catch your breath. Fuck, you looked absolutely wrecked. Teary-eyed, flushed, and face covered in drool and cum, you sat back on your haunches. At some point, your robe had slipped off your shoulders, revealing your gasping chest. 

“Fuck Y/N.” Luffy cursed as he pulled you in for a kiss. “Ya felt. So. Fucking. Good.” He gasped in between kisses. You whimpered into his mouth, shrugging the rest of the robe off and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His hand found your waist as the other cradled the back of your head, deepening the kiss. You loved his hands. They left scorching trails in their wake, seemingly lighting up your body from the inside out. You wanted him so badly, the crowd of people watching you far from your mind. Your thoughts quickly vanished from your mind when Luffy swiped a finger through your folds, sighing at how wet he found you. He kissed down your neck as he slipped a finger inside of you. You sighed and humped his hand, twisting a hand into his hair. He smirked from where he was sucking a mark into your neck. He surprised you again by picking you up and turning around, laying you against the pillows.

“My turn!” He chirped against your lips as he began kissing down your body. He stopped to leave a few love bites, sucking on your neck and collar. When he reached your chest, he sucked a nipple into his mouth, bringing up a hand to play with the other. His other hand dove lower. You whined, squirming as he toyed with your clit and pinched your nipple at the same time. He kissed and nipped at your chest, delighting in the marks he left behind. He gave equal attention to your other breast before continuing his descent, groping and squeezing your body. He loved how soft you were. It made you really fun to cuddle and he loved the bruises his fingers would leave behind from grabbing your hips too tightly. He looked up at you when he finally reached your dripping cunt. He moved your legs to rest over his shoulders as he pressed kisses to your plush thighs. Using his hold on your legs, he spread them a little more, smiling as he gazed down at your wet pussy. He licked his lips, suddenly giddy. “Ready?”

He didn’t wait for your answer before he ran his tongue through your folds. Your gasp turned into a whimper as his tongue lapped over you more, flicking your clit. He groaned into your cunt at your taste on his tongue. Luffy continued with his languid swipes before pushing his tongue a little deeper, ducking past your entrance. This is where his devil fruit came in handy! His tongue stretched into you, flicking at your walls before retreating, only to repeat a mere second later. Your hips twitched and you whined out into the air before gasping for breath. Your hand reached down to run a hand into Luffy’s hair. The other grasped the pillow. Luffy looked up at you as he plunged his tongue deeper and deeper into you, playfulness shining in his eyes at your reaction. You moaned and writhed against him out of your mind with pleasure.

“M-more… Luffy,” You mewled as you clenched around his tongue. He switched up, pulling his tongue out of you and replacing it with his fingers. He huffed against your cunt, taking a moment to catch his breath. It didn’t last long though, because soon enough he nosed his way forward, sealing his lips around your clit. He sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth as he dipped two fingers inside of you. Slick, wet noises filled the air. You cried out and writhed against him, causing Luffy to grunt and use his grip on your waist to pin you to the bed. “‘M so close Luffy please.”

You were mindless. Rolling your hips against his face, chasing your peak. It was clumsy but slow, with no real rhythm, but growing greedier by the minute. Your thighs began to quiver around Luffy’s head. This didn’t go unnoticed by him, as he doubled down on his efforts. He alternated between slow and fast licks against your clit, while stretching his fingers to reach and curl deep within you. 

“Mmf- Fuck! Luffy,” You gasped, voice wobbling. “I’m s- hnngh… S-so close I- haah… I’m gon-na -!”

Your hips lifted off of the bed, trying to twist out of Luffy’s grasp. He lifted your lower body up a little in his arms, mouth still slotted against your folds. This way you couldn’t hide from the overwhelming pleasure electrocuting your body. You often fought for your orgasms, but Luffy refused to let this one go. He held you tight as you moaned his name. A groan vibrated against your pussy as your release flooded his mouth. You gave up your thrashing, body bouncing a little as you slumped against the mattress. You moaned as you rode out your orgasm on Luffy’s tongue. He kept his mouth on you until you were twitched from oversensitivity. Running a hand through his hair, you gently pulled him away from your shaky thighs and spasming cunt. 

This boy was a mess. Your fluids covered the lower half of his face, glistening against the lights shining onto the stage. His jet-black hair was tousled from your pulling. He smiled at you as if it were just the two of you, seemingly ignoring the cum dripping off of his chin. 

“Y’taste so good Y/N,” Luffy pulled your face forward for a sloppy kiss. You whined at your taste on his tongue. He shuffled forward a bit before pushing you back against the bed. Before he threw himself onto you Luffy slid a pillow under your hips. Your legs slotted against his hips as he made himself comfortable on top of you. “I wanna… be inside of ya so bad… Can I?” He whimpered in between kisses.

You hummed, cradling his face in your palms as you pressed light kisses all over his face. He giggled before burying his face into your neck, his hips rutting against you. Like some kind of mutt, all slobber and excitement as he humped against your folds. You chuckled before shifting a little, angling your hips towards Luffy. You pulled him away from your neck and kissed him deeply. He seemed to get the message. Luffy lined himself up before pulling away from the kiss, a strand of saliva connecting your mouths together. He looked down to watch himself push his way inside of you. You threw your head back and whined at the feeling of him filling you up. 

A hiss turned into a groan as he finally bottomed out inside of you, pubic bone pressed against yours. His dick was long and thick, and he stretched out using his devil fruit powers, growing til his tip kissed your cervix. You expected him to start fucking you right away like he normally did. But when he didn’t, you blinked your eyes open and looked up at him in confusion. He smiled at you lazily and looked down to where the two of you were connected. You tried to grind down on him, to gain some sort of friction, but he used his body weight to pin you to the bed.

“Wh- Luffy?” You gazed at him, confused. “What are you-”

“How bad do ya want it?” 

…

“What?” You blinked at him, not believing what you’d heard.

“I said,” Luffy leaned forward, eyes dark and flickering with mischief. “How bad do ya want it?”

“Luffy, don’t do this, please. Not now,” You pleaded. “I can’t, it’s s-so embarrassing.” You seemed to remember now. You were in front of an audience. One that was eerily quiet, might you add. Your face burned with shame. He wouldn’t make you beg in front of them, would he? You shuddered, slowly turning your head to the audie-

A rough hand grabbed your face, turning you back to look at the man currently inside you.

“Don’t.” He growled. “Look at me and tell me what you want.” He ground his hips into yours for emphasis, delighting in your needy mewls.

You sniffled, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. God, of all the times to tap into his possessive, demanding side, he had to choose now. What happened to the sweet, docile Luffy who begged to put his hands on you? The boy who was happy just using your mouth? You couldn’t find him in this suddenly commanding man, who twitched inside of you at your distress. It wasn’t often he got like this, all assertive and dominant, but when he did you basked in his authority. He always fucked you a little bit deeper, a little bit harder when he was in this mood. You were happy to indulge him, to beg and submit to his every whim.

But not like this.

This was humiliating.

You whined and squirmed as you thought over your next words carefully. You decided to beg for mercy once more.

“I-I can’t.”

“Fine, I guess ya don’t want it.” Luffy sighed discontentedly. He pulled away from you, shifting to pull himself out of you before you stopped him. You wrapped your legs around him and pulled him back in with a small yelp. Your hands gripped his arms caged around you. Luffy looked down at you, a smirk pulling at his lips. 

“Please, captain…” you sniffled, tears of frustration spilling down your face as humiliation boiled within your veins. But you couldn’t deny the way you clenched down on Luffy as your resolve crumbled into pieces. “Please fuck me. Cum deep inside of me, please. Please. I need it so badly, fuck.”

He blinked at you.

“Fuck. Fuck! I need you to f-fuck me, captain. Please.” You sobbed, writhing on his dick. Luffy laughed, shifting on his knees and hooking his elbows into the crook of your legs. His trademark grin beamed down at you as shivers wracked your body.

“See? That wasn’t so hard!” Luffy snickered. He wouldn’t call himself a sadist, but he did find you crying and begging for him to fuck you kind of funny. “Okay, okay, fine. I gotcha.”

With that, he drove his hips forward. Luffy grunted as you clenched around him, your walls so warm and wet. His length hammered away at that spot inside of you, blurring your vision. You moaned, head rolling back against the pillow. He felt so fucking good. Your mind short-circuited and you couldn’t focus on anything other than Luffy’s length pounding you. With a loud groan, Luffy looked down to where you two were connected. He watched his cock pump in and out of you at an erratic pace. His mouth hung open, drool dripping down his chin and onto your belly. 

That’s when he saw it.

When he’d bottom out, a slight bulge would poke out of your lower abdomen. He wanted to see it again. He pushed into you as deep as he could, staring down your body as your back arched off the mattress. Luffy gasped and sat up a little more, lifting your hips with his hands. He used his hold on you to thrust deeper, harder, his tip knocking against the walls of your with each thrust.

“Ngh- Look, Y/N…” Luffy grunted and whined as you lifted your head, almost delirious but willing to obey him. “You can-ah! You can see me inside ‘f ya.”

You watched as he fucked you like an animal, desperate to bury himself within the deepest parts of your body. Your hands scrambled for purchase against the bedsheets, your eyes squeezing shut as you cried out into the air. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more overwhelming, your captain pressed the palm of his hand on your tummy, feeling himself slide in and out of you. 

You couldn’t speak. Your body was alight with pleasure, and you felt your peak rapidly approaching. The coil wound deep inside of you tightened. But this orgasm felt a little… different. You could feel the waves of pleasure intensify, like a dam fit to burst.

“L-Luffy I’m-” You were unable to finish your sentence, his length knocking into you just right. You practically screamed and threw your head back as you finally let go. Pleasure ripped through you like a tsunami, your vision spotting, hearing nothing but the pounding of blood in your ears. 

You heard it before you saw it. Your release squirting out against Luffy’s abdomen as he fucks you through it. Loud, wet squelches filled the air, mixing with the sound of your cries and Luffy’s groans. Luffy let out a loud moan, dropping to his forearms and hovering over you. He slowed down a little, opting for grinding his hips into you to catch his breath.

“Fuck Y/N… You’ve never… mnhh- done that before.” Luffy heaved, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into your neck. You had squeezed so impossibly tight around you when you came, and even now your pussy flutters with the aftershocks of your orgasm. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, petting his hair.

“Luffyy…” You whined, your words slurring together. You warbled something about feeling good before kissing his neck. Everything else had faded away. All you could see, think, feel was him and how good he was making you feel. You wrapped your legs around him, caging him in. Luffy’s moans and whines rose in pitch.

“Y/N! I- hff- ‘m gonna-!” Luffy ducked his head into the crook of your shoulder and moaned, hips stuttering as he came. You moaned at the feeling of his warm seed filling you up. Luffy pushed in as deep as he could go and stayed there. He always preferred being deep inside of you whenever he came. He didn’t care about getting you pregnant, but he loved the way you twitched and whined whenever he came inside of you. With a sigh, he peeled himself away from you, sitting back to admire the mess between your bodies. He laughed.

“Wow, look at the mess ya made!” Luffy snickered. You pushed yourself onto your elbows, face flushed. You’ve never cum so hard before, and you hadn’t even realized you’d squirted until you saw the damage. Luffy’s abdomen and thighs glistened with your cum. His cum dripped from your cunt onto the soaked bed sheets beneath you. Luffy snickered, then brought a hand to grip your thigh. Using his hold on you, he flipped you over onto your stomach. You yelped and shot a confused look over your shoulder. “What? ‘M not done with ya just yet.”

His hands gripped your hips, pulling them upward, your back bowing into an arch. Luffy groped at your ass as he watched the last of his cum ooze out of your cunt. He didn’t like that, so he collected the fluid that threatened to drip down your thighs and pushed it back into you.

“L-Luffy! Just get on with it already!”

“Shishishishi! Sorry Y/N. I jus’ can’t help but play with ya.”

You yelped once more as you felt a hand collide harshly with your ass. Your head whipped around to look at him over your shoulder, face flushed.

“Wh-what the hell was that for?!”

Luffy shrugged with a snicker. “Dunno, just felt like it.”

“Well, give me a warning the next time you decide t- aahn!”

Luffy interrupted you by pushing inside of you in one swift movement. He shifted forward on his knees, leaning forward and nipping at your ear.

“Sorry, were ya sayin’ somethin’?”

He began to pump in and out of you, hard and deep. This position made it easier to hit the deepest parts of you, tip of his cock knocking against your cervix with each thrust. Fuck, any semblance of coherence you held onto slipped from your mind, Luffy’s cock fucking you dumb. You drooled onto the pillow beneath you, moans flowing freely from your open mouth. Luffy whined, driving into you faster. His hips snapped against your ass.

You squirmed and whined as his length pounded away at your g-spot. Your thighs quake, you can feel yourself fluttering around his length. You were reaching another orgasm rapidly, trying to stop it or slow down was futile. Luffy was going to fuck you through your orgasm whether you liked it or not. The repeated stimulation against your cervix and the barely-there stimulation of his balls slapping against your clit drove you closer and closer to the edge.

“Hff- I can feel ya tightening up ��round me like a fuckin’ vice, baby.” Luffy groaned, his words breathy. He angled his hips, rolling his hips, trying to get you to cum. His arm reached around you, index finger circling your clit. You cried out and clenched down on Luffy. He moaned and you came, gushing around his cock. It wasn’t as intense as your last orgasm, but that didn’t make it any less euphoric. Fireworks danced behind your eyelids as you trembled and cried out in mindless pleasure.

“Atta girl!” Luffy huffed. Your thighs quivered and gave out, crumbling against the bed. Luffy fell with you, sweaty chest pressed against your back. He slowed down, letting you catch your breath for a moment, but still wanting to stimulate himself. He nipped at your ear. “S-so fuckin good f’me baby… Gimme one more, please?”

“Luffyyy,” you whined, words slurring together. Talking was no easy feat. Your tongue felt thick and too heavy to move. Your vision blurred and your face was wet from the tears staining your cheeks. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you could cum again. It’s not like the drag of his cock through your oversensitive walls was helping you, either. “I dunno…  ‘f I can- nnh.”

“C’mon princess, please? For me?” He pressed fleeting kisses against the side of your face and neck, desperate to feel you squeeze him tightly again. Your cunt fluttered and he groaned, wanting so badly to resume his previous pace. But not without your permission. “Please, please?”

Bringing your arms to hold the pillow underneath you, you ground your hips back against your boyfriend. Your nerves alight with oversensitivity, you moaned and squirmed on his cock. It was hard to speak, but you tried your best to show him that you were willing to try, were giving him permission to fuck another orgasm out of you. Luffy seemed to take the hint. He let out a soft chuckle and kissed your face tenderly, he was so in love with you. Nibbling at your ear, he sped up, thighs clapping against your ass. The sound of him fucking you mixed with his overstimulated whimpers in your ear made you whine and clench down on his cock. 

Luffy brought a hand underneath you to rub at your clit, delighting in the way you cried and writhed on his length. You were close, still basking in the aftershocks of your previous orgasm, he just needed something to push you over that edge and into euphoria. A lightbulb went off in his head at the same time that you fluttered around him. He just needed to press on you the way he did before, right? The heel of his palm pushed against your lower abdomen as his middle finger stretched to stay pressed to your clit. It was an awkward angle, but he was determined to have you gush all over him like you did before. You sobbed, practically screaming as your hips bucked, but you had nowhere to go since his hips kept you smothered against his hand and the bed. Your mind went completely blank. Stars burst behind your eyelids. 

“LUFFY! ‘M ssoohmygod ‘m gonna cum- ‘mgonnacumsofuckingh-”

Your legs kicked out as you squirted once more, your screams muffled against the pillow you bit into. Luffy was at the end of his rope. He kept fucking into you, your orgasm bringing him to his own. He bit down on your neck as he came, buried as deep inside of you as he could go. He growled as his cock throbbed and pumped wave after wave of his seed into you. Your forehead pressed against the pillow you had scooped into your arms, gasping for breath. Mentally, you were blissed out. Warmth spread through every part of your body, tingling with pleasure. Your thighs trembled even as you came down from your orgasm. 

Luffy was in a similar state. He slumped against you, chest heaving. His hands caressed the sides of your body as he came down from his orgasm. He licked at the deep bite mark he left on your neck. It wasn’t deep enough to draw blood, but definitely enough to leave a mark for the next few days, a week if he was lucky. Knowing that you’d be walking around with a mark left by him made his dick throb. 

“You okay, baby?” He whispers in your ear, hand rubbing at your back soothingly. You gurgle a response, physically incapable of forming words while you were still coming down. Luffy chest vibrates from where he’s pressed against you as he chuckles. When he pulls away from you, you whine at the loss of his warmth. You’re finally starting to regain consciousness, though your words are slurred. “Luffy… ‘m tired.”

“Aww, are ya? I can take ya back to the ship if ya want.” Luffy sat up, drinking some of the water that was sitting on the table next to the bed. You seem to perk up at that, and he grins, setting the water back down before rolling off the bed. You seemed to forget about the crowd watching you, and though Luffy was aware of their watchful eyes he couldn’t bring himself to care. He picked up his hat from where it’d fallen onto the stage, placing it back onto his head. He didn’t bother with the pants. He nudged you to sit up, as you already started drifting off to sleep. “C’mon, Y/N. Sit up fa me.”

Luffy pulled you into his arms, lifting you up off the bed. You grumbled and wrapped your arms and legs around him, not unlike a koala. He giggled as you buried your face into his neck. He knew that when you woke up you’d probably flush with embarrassment at your lack of self-awareness, but he didn’t mind. You were so cute when you were all flustered. Even now, the way you drooled a little bit onto his shoulder was adorable. Luffy sighed with content as he carried you through the doors exiting the stage and down the hallway. 

The captain of the strawhat pirates was so in love with you it even startled him sometimes. The way you kept a level head when he was flying off of the handle. You helped rein him in without smothering him or cramping on his way of life. You balance him out. His heart did little jumping jacks when he met you, and the minute you offered to help him he knew he had to have you on his crew. So he didn’t mind carrying you all the way back to the ship, not at all. You were his, and he’d carry you for miles if it meant he could wake up next to you in the morning.

Thanks for reading! I may include an epilogue (or a part two) if I feel like it >w<

[hidden-snow]

❣┈⋆ ⋞ 〈 Ｐｅｅｋａｂｏｏ， Ｉ Ｓｅｅ Ｙｏｕ 〉 ⋟ ┈⋆❣

(For everyone tagged to this pic: This isn't a bot or accident. It's me, Hidden Snow. I got a new account. ^^)

Characters:// Adult! Neteyam x Adult! female Na'vi Reader

Warnings // P in V, dirty words

Word count // 1,908

“Peekaboo, I see you.”

You couldn’t help but giggle softly as Neteyam swooped in, pressing a soft peck to your lips, a gentle smirk on his face.

“Oh, my mighty warrior,” you hum softly, allowing the male to pull you into his broad arms, caging you in his embrace. Pressed against his warm chest, you can’t help but draw in his scent, rich with the forest despite years of living at the reef. No amount of salt water and marine life could seem to wash away the scent embedded deep in his very being.

“You always seem to catch me.”

“How would I not? You pick the easiest places to hide.”

It was true. You did pick the easiest places, knowing that he would come upon you in a matter of moments. They were private places, hidden enough so that you could steal a quick kiss here and there from your future mate.

“One more round?” you can’t help but ask, batting your eyes at him and he chuckled softly, pushing you back so that your skin brushed against the tree.

“And if I catch you, what do I get?”

“Catch me and find out!”

You dash off, finding the perfect hiding spot for him to come and find you. Secluded in an area of the beach that not many people wander, it’s a small clearing with plenty of shrubbery to hide in. You don’t care about hiding, though. Not anymore. You just want Neteyam to find you. And find you, he did.

“Found you again.”

You squeak as hands snake around your waist, pulling you against his chest, and he ghosts his lips against yours, smiling at the way you instinctively move closer to deepen the hint into an actual kiss.

“Slow down, y/n. We have all the time in the world.”

“I don’t want all the time in the world,” you whisper as you brush your lips against his once more. “I want you. I want you now.”

His face softened, a smile pulling at his lips, and you can’t help but be reminded of the first time you saw Neteyam, standing beside Lo’ak and behind his father as the Sullys arrived at your village. The way he mimicked his father’s stance, arms raised in a sign of peaceful intentions, as well as how innocent he had been, sweet and gentle, with a backbone made of loyalty to his family.

“I don’t want to waste anymore time, Neteyam,” you murmur, your fingers grazing the scarred pattern on his chest, gained from a bullet wound that had occured when the sky people had come to hunt the tulkun.

You could still remember that day like it was yesterday, gripping his hand tightly and crying softly as his father pressed cloth to his chest to keep him from losing blood. That had been the day that you were both destined to fall in love. As you gripped his hand, you couldn’t help but spill out your feelings to this boy. Just in case. And his large golden gaze had locked with your blue eyes, and, despite the pain that he was suffering from, he had smiled a soft smile, all while promising that once they were home, he would take his time getting to know you better. He promised he would take his time falling in love with everything about you and with you. So that he could always cherish what he had gained from the Metkayina.

His little treasure.

You were impatient. You’d always been impatient, unable to sit still for even the most simplest of tasks, and waiting on him to make the first move was torture. Especially now, when you knew just how dangerous it was to wait for something as special as this.

His hand gently cupped your own still resting on his chest, navy skin against teal, and you look back up at him.

“I know, y/n. I know,” he murmured softly, cupping your cheek with his free hand, his thumb gently brushing against your lips. You kiss his thumb and he smiles again.

“Come here.”

With that one order, he’s sweeping you up into his arms, kissing you gently, but you want more. You want him. You only had eyes for him.

You deepen the kiss, running your hands up and down his back as he picked you up, swinging your legs over his hips so that they could clasp behind him.

Something rough scrapes against your back but you pay it no attention, too focused on Neteyam, too focused on kissing him until your lips were bruised and puffy. That was your favorite part of your little make-out sessions, walking back to the village hand-in-hand with hickies littering your skin and lips red from being ensnared in his abusive attention.

His hand slid down your back to land on your ass, gripping the plush of your cheeks, squeezing and kneading them with his fingers.

You can’t help the gasp that escapes your lips when his thumb ventures further down to press against your tewng, rolling your clit with the pad of his finger, the thin layer of cloth between your bare body and his fingers causing a beautiful friction.

You moan softly against his lips as he grinds his hips forward, his cock straining against the fabric of his own tewng, the covered tip brushing against the growing wet patch below your pussy.

Soft gasps and mewls tumble from your lips with each movement of his hips, and you push your lips back against his, hard, teeth scraping against teeth as the kiss grows rather heated, passionate, and hungry.

You don’t know when he discarded his tewng, nor even how he’d gotten yours off. The feeling of his head brushing against your soaked folds has you whining, falling apart with the desire to have him filling you to the brim with himself.

He chuckles softly as he continues to grind his hips against yours, soft grunts being pulled out as he moved.

“What would your parents say, my love? What would the people say if they saw you like this?” he whispered as he nipped at your ear, drawing a soft moan from your puffy lips. His words send shivers of anticipation up your spine, the idea of being caught giving you a thrill you hadn’t known was possible. 

Years ago, you would’ve blushed at the idea.

Now though?

Neteyam has taught you many things and one of your more favorite of the lessons was that living on the dangerous side of things could sometimes be quite exciting.

His tip teases your entrance, a promise of something that you want desperately, and his movements cease as he looks straight into your eyes, half-lidded with desire.

“Tell me what you want, pretty girl. Let me know what you want. Use your words.”

“You,” you whine out, pushing your hips down to try and get that feeling of satisfaction that you so desperately crave.

“I want you, ma ‘teyam.”

He nodded, satisfied, before pushing in slowly, watching your face as you struggle to take him on. It wasn’t that you were too small or he was too big. It was more or less the fact that you had never been breached before, saving yourself for him and only him.

His movements are gentle and slow, making sure that you’re adjusting to his size before he pushes in any further. You can tell he’s struggling, from the sharp hitches in his breath as he slowly sinks into you, as well as the strangled groans, hiding the fact that he was straining hard against his urges just to keep himself under control.

As you take him fully inside of you, you can’t help but moan, the stretch satisfying within you, the feeling of his tip brushing lightly against your g-spot and kissing your cervix as he stood there, waiting.

After a couple seconds, you look up and nod. It’s small and hesitant. But it’s there and he sees it.

He pulls out, leaving only the tip inside of your hole, before he snaps his hips forward, sinking deep within you, drawing out soft sounds of pleasure from your lips. His pace is slow at first, careful not to hurt you, but as you grow used to the stretch inside, he begins to thrust quickly, ramming into your g-spot repeatedly and with such precision that you wonder if he’d ever done this for someone else before. Almost as soon as the thought pops in your head, his rhythm pushes it away.

No, of course he hadn’t. He’d only had eyes for you since that fateful night.

You gasp softly as he lays you down in the grass to change positions, able to push himself even deeper inside of you, to the point you begin to wonder if you have any space left inside for him to reach. The pads of his fingers graze your nipple, rolling it between his thumb and index finger, and you can’t help but lose yourself in the pleasure he’s giving you, your breath shared with him as his lips hovered just above you.

You can feel the approaching climax, can feel yourself being pushed closer to the edge by each perfectly-angled snap of his hips, and the noises you make become sloppier, even more lewd, and he smirks at the flushed appearance of your face, your jaw dropped open and eyes lidded with lust.

“I wonder what your parents would say, y/n. What would they say if they knew you could make such a face as this.”

If you’d been more coherent, you’d blush. But you weren’t. So instead, you just moan at his words, your silky walls tightening around his girth. He groaned softly, cussing at the feeling that almost nearly pushed him over the edge as well. His fingers remove themselves from your nipples, sliding down to your clit to play with it again, and you let out a sharp exhalation, your knees tightening against his waist.

“Oh yeah. Bet that feels good.”

He can tell you’re getting so close just by the way your inner walls seemed to flutter and contract around him, and he leans down to whisper dirty words in your ears, testing to see what you did and didn’t like.

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Be a good girl and cum for me.”

His words, along with his gentle touches and the slamming of his tip against your g-spot, make you gasp, your back arching as that warm coil within your lower belly snaps, tightened to the point that it’d been painful to deny the release. He keeps pounding into you, even as you slump down, still stuck in your high. He’s chasing his own release, movements erratic and sharp, and he’s getting close.

With the powerful fluttering of your walls, clamping down around him, he’s being provided a satisfying friction that helps him quickly hit his own orgasm, filling you up with his sperm. Panting softly, he pulls out of you, a wet “pop” that spoke of just how full and wet you were. He lays down beside you, pulling you into his arms, your tails intwined as you purr softly.

“Such a good girl,” he whispers to you, running his fingers up and down your ribs. “Such a good girl for me. You know something?”

You hum questioningly.

“I’m starting to really like this little game of hide and seek that you’ve made.”

Taglist// @aconstructofamind / @kaistarzs-blog / @truebluehue / @sussybaka10 / @taleiak / @justsomerandompersonintheworld

[archie-sunshine]

ARCHIE-SUNSHINE'S FAQ!

Hi!! I'm putting this together as a quick helpful post to clear stuff up regarding my inbox, because I've been getting a lot of similar questions and I want to be able to tap a sign to let people know what they gotta know without putting in so much effort!

So, here's my FAQ for my inbox!

1: What drawing software/hardware do you use? Are you a traditional only artist? What Brushes do you use?

I use clip studio paint and an ancient wacom tablet that's been chugging since 2018 :]

For my brushes, here are all of the ids!

I very rarely do traditional art, and for them, i use a moleskine sketchbook and micron plastic nib pens!

2: Is your Inbox getting my message?

Yes it is! I just usually have around 100 other asks in my inbox that im also working through!! If your ask was super nonspecific as well, I might have deleted it because I didn't know where to start! Sometimes i just delete stuff because its sat around too long and i feel awkward answering it! i am a very busy person.

3. Are you taking commissions?

I open 2-4 slots for commissions every stream! I also open non stream commissions every now and then around the middle of the month typically!

4. What are your thoughts on [Insert TFP character here]/why don't you like tfp

I don't have any because I only watched half a season of that show and got bored to death! and i dislike the show because the pacing is weird, the writing is sub par, the characters bore me to death save for a few notable exceptions, the music is boring, the designs are weird and complicated, and every attempt at comedy falls flat. aka, its just not my cup of tea!

Additionally, over the year I've been posting on this blog, I have been asked at least once every single month for an answer to this question, and it hasn't changed and people still don't read my faq. and suspiciously after three of those times, my blog has been mysteriously pixelated.

... I'm not saying anyone reported me. But im not not saying that.

So thats another reason i don't like tfp.

5. Will you draw/What are your thoughts on MPREG/MECHPREG

I don't like pregnancy when it involves a fetus, though I do enjoy dirty talk and scenarios surrounding breeding! I do enjoy oviposition/egg laying, but I prefer it as part of a monster fucking scenario.

6. What would you think [insert character/pairing here]'s kids would look like/what would [insert character] look like as a kid/do you think [insert couple here] would be great parents?

I don't like talking about kids or children!! and I don't like talking about couples as parents in general!

7. Can i make fanworks of your ocs/AU/fics/art?

YES!! YESYESYES ABSOLUTELY PRETTY PLEASE YES ALWAYS AND FOREVER! All i ask is that you tag me or send me the link to wherever youve posted this, feel free to gift me stuff on ao3 if you like as well, genuinely nothing brings me more joy than inspiring other people so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE feel free!!

8. What are your limits for commissions?

I drew up a helpful little chart for it! anything not on here, you can dm or ask me about!

[arcadekitten]

This is something I've seen appearing a bit more in my askbox so I'd like to address it! No one is in trouble and I'm not mad at anyone, I just feel like it's worth addressing and clearing up some confusion.

I do not take art requests, even if it is for my own characters/works! The only art requests I DO take are more like commission work. Any 'character requests' you do see me posting come from the people monetarily supporting me on patreon!(Which you can sign up for if you'd rather go that route!) And those requests are limited to a specific format!

So when I receive requests in my askbox like "Can you give us more art of [character]?" or "Could you draw more of [character] and [character] together?" please understand it is going to be ignored!

Just about all art I have is what I post, and you may look through my character tags or art tags to view them!

I understand where you are coming from when you ask these things, you just want to see some of your favs again!! But please understand from my side--making games, even small games, is still a lot of work! And I have other responsibilities outside of it! So when I do have the time to draw freely, I draw what I feel like drawing and that's usually my favorites! And while you may find it repetitive or want variation, I have to be fair to myself and draw what makes me happy first!

Thank you for understanding!! ♡

[zoobus]

Totally just eating popcorn on the sidelines here but - re: your tags in the last post, is the comics scene really much more competitive in SK than Japan? That's kind of surprising (for me) in an interesting way.

I'm so sorry if that came across as an objective assertion rather than speculation 🙇

I have no idea if it's harder to get into comics in SK (I would *assume* it's harder to get into webcomics, since there are likely less publishing houses in comparison). My theory that the bar to webcomicking in SK is higher has much to do with coloring as a norm* rather than black and white and a general higher standard of anatomy the permeates their industry.

Like, take the stereotyped anime forehead. We all know it. We've all seen it.

Now to be clear, most people don't care. I don't really care. But the anime forehead is real and prolific. People learn to do "anime style" before anatomy. You'll see casts full of girls and every single one will have have thick, forehead covering bangs because you do NOT want to see how the designer draws skulls. It's definitely improving, but you'll still get smacked with something like this:

This looks bad. Awkward and bad.

There is a lot less of this in South Korean art! It threw me off how much more common Visible Forehead is - and they have more Visible Forehead because those artists are professionally trained. We see a variety of hairstyles because they're familiar with how the forehead blends into the skull.

It's just a pattern I've noticed. There are other signs of Actual Art Training, but they can basically be described as a tendency towards anatomical correctness regardless of style. It's superior in a technical, measurable kind of way that's unlikely to be self-taught. And if most comics have it, I have to assume it's at least semi-required. Thus why I'm assuming it's more difficult to break in as an artist.

*slight tangent but I'm starting to see more Japanese vertical webtoons, obviously influenced by Koreans and it's really obvious that professional colorists aren't a thing there yet, it looks soooo bad

[thethirdromana]

A few people in the Dorian Gray Weekly tag have observed that Oscar Wilde doesn't make it clear what he wants us to think of Dorian. I'd like to dig into that a bit more, because I think it's true, and fascinating, and weird.

Because if you take everything so far at face value, then Wilde has made it abundantly clear that Dorian is a terrible person. His actions have resulted in a young woman's suicide. He has a visual record in his attic of his moral degradation and that record has become "evil". The picture is covered in "signs of sin", and it's pretty clear that Wilde means that literally. It's not just that Dorian is being spared the realistic physical consequences of his misdeeds, like bags under his eyes after a heavy night out. His sins, which he is unquestionably committing, are visibly altering the appearance of his portrait, like that Roald Dahl quote:

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

We don't know exactly what his sins are. But we know how they cause people to act around him:

It was remarked, however, that some of those who had been most intimate with him appeared, after a time, to shun him. Women who had wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure and set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or horror if Dorian Gray entered the room.

The only reason that there isn't more scandal around him is explicitly because he's rich and attractive. Not because there's any hint that he's sometimes a good person. While Wilde doesn't say "Dorian was evil and his portrait looked evil because he was an evil person who did evil things", he comes pretty damn close to it.

And yet...

Despite all that condemnation, it's hard to come away from reading this novel with the impression that Wilde is actually condemning Dorian's actions, as the commentary in the tag demonstrates. (Which is handy, because this is vibes-based analysis and tricky to prove otherwise).

I think there are two reasons for this. One is the lavish, indulgent descriptions of everything Dorian is doing. The details feel like they're shared in a spirit of appreciation, not judgement. Post-Sibyl, Dorian's crimes are presented in an innuendo-laden, nudge-nudge way that lets you imagine whatever level of debauchery you find titillating. (It's always fun to see where adaptations choose to draw the line here). Dorian's life is shallow, but it's vivid and luxurious - and more than a little enviable. And sometimes it's fun to read about rich people doing bad things!

(Of course, that means that the reader ignores Dorian's sins in favour of his wealth just like his acquaintances do).

The other reason is the weird relationship between Dorian's life and Oscar Wilde's own. Wilde puts what feels like an uncomfortable amount of himself into Dorian - the book that Dorian "could not free himself from", that contributes to his moral degradation, is one of Wilde's own favourite books. Wilde also lived an indulgent, hedonistic lifestyle that took him into sordid parts of London, where he did things that, once revealed, would see him shunned by society, some of which we would still judge harshly.

Wilde was writing for an audience who didn't know as much about his life as we do, but he was already an established celebrity when The Picture of Dorian Gray was published, so I think his readership would see an echo of Dorian's decadence in Wilde himself. Like Basil Hallward, he put a lot of himself into his art. Like Basil Hallward, it revealed more of him than he perhaps intended - but he did intend some of it.

I can't quite imagine writing a character who shares a lot of my interests and enthusiasms, plus some of the worst of my behaviour, and then explicitly describing that character as evil, but that's what Oscar Wilde did. Dorian Gray doesn't feel like it's written in a spirit of self-loathing, but nor does it feel like a demonstration of cognitive dissonance. So I'm no closer to figuring out what the hell is going on here. But for me, the chewy complexity of exactly how Wilde wants us to feel about Dorian - admiring, judgmental, condemnatory, detached - is a significant part of why I enjoy this novel so much.

[hello-nichya-here]

Got a question for you.

When making NSFW fanart, why are some characters considered "loli characters" while others aren't, despite being in a similar age group?

Example: Toph Bei Fong is routinely seen as a loli character. There are a select few works that go out of their way to specifically depict her as an adult, but anything that tries to stay on model with the show is usually labeled as loli art. Some people are even hesitant to draw NSFW of her because of this.

Meanwhile, Azula is rarely ever viewed as a loli character, despite being only, like, two years older than Toph. Even if the art is on model, most people tend to see her as safe to make NSFW fanart for (other than terminally online antis, but they don't count).

Raven from Teen Titans is another character who has pretty much never been considered a loli character despite being obviously underage (as evidenced from the title of her show). I don't even think the early Zone animations were tagged as "loli" except maybe the Slade one.

What is the difference between a character like Toph and a character like Azula or Raven that causes this almost subconscious distinction in people's brains?

From what I've seen, especially in american fandoms, it's because of one (or more) of options bellow:

1 - Toph is shorter and short equals child. It's literally why you got people calling Rebecca from Edgerunners a loli, when she's clearly an adult.

2 - Toph is canonically the younger, and you can tell just by looking at her, therefore she's the undeniably "off limits" one by that weird double-standard of "Sexualizing underage characters it's fine, it's just fiction - except when I'm not into it, then it's creepy/pedophilia"

3 - Americans are weird about age, especially about at what point exactly someone stops being considered a child and becomes a teen - hence some zutarians pretending the age gap of their ship is not exactly the same as Kataangs just because both Zuko and Katara have "teen" in their age, but Aang doesn't, therefore he's a toddler while Katara and Zuko are adults since they MUST be more mature due to their age. What is splitting hairs for any reasonable person is VERY strong, clear distinction to them. Toph's age doesn't end in "teen", therefore she's off limits.

4 - Toph is disabled and therefore must be infantilized "for her own good". Ironic considering that was how her parents treated her and it pushed her to running away.

5 - Grey Delisle, Azula's voice actress and inspiration for her design, CONSTANTLY makes super nsfw jokes about her characters (including Azula fucking Zuko), and has been very open about having worked as narrator for porn promos, a stripper, and even a failed dominatrix that cried after making a guy bleed a little. She shared the story about the time her and a friend were paid by a rando to pee in a cup and pour it over him. Pretty much anyone that knows anything about Grey will take one look at Azula and go "Fair game"

6 - The fandom tends to misrepresent the characters. Katara gets reduced to just "mom friend", taking the adultification she goes through in the show at face vallue and not as something that is meant to be deconstructed, even though it happens on screen. Same about Azula being seen as this manipulative, immoral WOMAN (because a lot of people legit don't know she's younger than Zuko) that surely MUST be a natural seductress, even if she canonically cannot flirt to save her life. Or Ty Lee sleeping around with any guy for attention, when we literally see that she freaks out and runs when guys pursue her too aggressively, or are rude, or want to fight over her, or expect literally anything beyond just casual flirting, not sex. "Mother", "femme fatale" and "slut" are adult roles, "bratty, stubborn, loud and aggressive" (which is not all there is to Toph) are largely seen as signs of immaturity, particularly in girls (especially tomboy-ish ones). There's the assumption that they'll "grow out of it", so if they still act the same, that's immaturity, not just her personality.

7 - The show itself gave us lots of Azula and Ty Lee fanservice, and some for Katara as well. Both Mai was heavily implied to have had sex with Zuko, and the show didn't even try to be subtle about the fact that Suki and Sokka got it on. Toph didn't really get the same treatment, so a lot of the fandom just has that instinctive "It's okay to sexualize THESE characters, but not that one" response.

As for Raven, while a lot of us were introduced to character by the 2003 show, there are many incarnations of her in literal decades of comics in which she's clearly drawn as an adult despite being a "teen" - and to tie in with point 6, in the show, she was the character constantly judging the others when they were acting immature or even just having fun at an inconvenient time, so she looks like one of the more "mature" people in the team, when she's just grumpy and literally can't get too invested in anything otherwise the world might fucking end. And much like Grey, the voice actress, Tara Strong, LOVES making dirty jokes about her characters.

[foxypheonix]

Let’s Address Some Things

It’s been nearly a year since this first began. I have been working on this since about March as I can no longer keep it in and let my nay-sayers get away with this. This event triggered severe RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) in me and threw me into a deep depression so it wasn’t easy for me to try to write all of this down. I wanted to be as clear and truthful as possible, so writing an emotional rant post in response wasn’t an option. I know how the drama-lovers like to nitpick words, so I wanted to be careful as well.

This is about the drama between RadicalRainbow and me. It involves a lot of people, because Rainbow refused to let this be private. As such, I will be posting this publicly as well…

I will be sharing everything that happened that I can remember. I am not about to throw a pity party for myself, but I do intend to defend myself. I want to set things straight for those who actually care to know the whole story. I know it probably won’t help much for those who are convinced I am a terrible person, but…yeah. Let’s just get into it.

RadicalRainbow (and CosmicaCandy):

Part 1: Joining the Server

When Rainbow joined, I was happy and excited. I could tell they were timid and nervous, enforced by how they thought it would be cool to talk to me at all based on their twitter post. Someone else other than Rainbow tagged me, informing me of their post and I said hi and offered to have them join my server.

There were cute with how shy they seemed. But I also wanted them to not be nervous. They were  the most welcomed I had ever seen in my server yet and they posted a lot.

I thought they might be losing their shyness and I tried to treat them like anyone else. I vouch to treat everyone the same to dispel power dynamics and for those in power to face the same treatment as everyone else. Rarely do I not see power go to someone’s head and I work to be humble and use any power I have responsibly.

That being said, I considered Rainbow and I to be equals. They have a bigger audience than me and were more well known, so I almost considered them to be bigger and have more “power” than me. I didn’t want them to revere me, just to see me as another artist and maybe a friend. I do not look to be feared. I want to be open and approachable.

Part 2: Their Time There

I thought Rainbow’s time in my server was great. Again, they were the most well-received person I had ever seen. Everyone welcomed them. They posted often and people were nice to them.

They soon showed interest in knowing more about my Cult of the Lamb comic, In Spite of You (ISOY). The only ways I allowed people to know more, “spoilers” so to speak, is if they became a top-tier patron of my Patreon or if they did work for me. I eventually offered for them to work for me in exchange for learning about spoilers for ISOY. They accepted and became my ask helper, drawing asks to a script and description I provided. I offered to let them draw what they saw appropriate at the times I felt it didn’t matter. They received their payment for this work in the form of information and images pertaining to things not yet made public about ISOY that otherwise was only available to those that paid to receive it or also worked for me.

I did my best to be kind about asking for changes to their work. I allowed them to keep their watermark on their work despite the fact I didn’t want it there, and if I had been paying money, I definitely would have requested to be removed. A watermark obscuring an image is different than an artist signing their work. I did, and continue to give credit where credit is due.

At one point, I suggested (eagerly) for Rainbow to add their OC Fern to ISOY. They said no and I dropped the idea.

They posted Fern a lot. In the posts it was never said what gender Fern was. Going off of appearances Fern was very feminine coded. They even posted porn of Fern and they had drawn Fern being eaten out. No one had any idea Fern was not female.

In relation to Rainbow posting porn of their character, another server member also made a risque picture of Fern after Rainbow had posted theirs.

I only learned later that they had been uncomfortable with this. I saw no issue as they had posted some themselves. They also never vocalized they did not like porn being made of Fern except by themselves until much later.

When boundaries were brought up they were adhered to. However boundaries cannot be enforced when no one knows about them.

Part 3: Them Leaving

They left on my birthday.

So to get this out of the way, if they mention how their information is visible and thus should be respected, they are a hypocrite. My birthday is also visible across many platforms, yet despite apparently looking so highly upon me they left my server and was not able to be immediately contacted on that exact day. People don’t look that deep. People are lazy. You aren’t that special. I know I’m not, which is why I do not blame them for leaving on my birthday. However I will blame them or anyone if they try to claim having your information “easily” and publicly available makes me or anyone else not knowing if someone is gay, bi, trans, autistic, ADHD, a gender, how old they are, their race and so on is “disrespectful” and thus purposefully doing it. Having that information out there does not mean everyone knows it by default. Again, you are not that special.

Rainbow sent a message finally telling everyone that Fern was non-binary then left right afterwards.

I got in contact with them a few days later. I could no longer talk to them on Discord after they left because we didn’t share a server anymore and they blocked contact from non-friends and server-mates. It was understandable, we hadn’t added each other as friends and shared no other servers. I contacted them through tumblr instead.

When I could talk to Rainbow again, they told me there were three reasons why they left: Fern being misgendered, Lazy and Nova.

Now let me reiterate, Rainbow told no one that Fern was non-binary until maybe a few hours to even only some minutes before they left my server. No one refuted them correcting this, no one gave grief or hate, no one even had a chance to adjust to this information before they decided that they were going to leave over it anyway.

I do not care that Fern is non-binary. I am not saying Fern is a woman. I support that choice for that character.

Can anyone be blamed for misgendering them, though? A very heavily female coded character is presented. They are referred by the creator only as “they” but that does not instantly click for people to then ask about the character’s gender. If you try to claim you do, you are a liar. Males and females can be referred to as “they” as well. It is not an exclusive pronoun to non-binary people.

People, including myself, referred to Fern as a girl. Rainbow never corrected this.

My server is not a place LGBTQ+ is heavily enforced or being pertinent to knowing these things about people. It is up to the individual to ask or relay such information. I do not have an introductions channel or a channel to introduce OCs etc.

I noticed how upset Rainbow was becoming about Fern being misgendered to the point they made posts on their blog about Fern being non-binary and how female (and male) presenting characters can also be non-binary. I agree with this!

However we cannot expect people to be mind readers. We cannot expect people to go learn all the information about you and especially not about your character(s). It takes time for people to adjust to changes, especially those who are autistic or ADHD. Autism makes changes hard, and ADHD makes it hard to remember. However everyday people also can have troubles too and you cannot expect instant change.

There is also the fact that non-binary pronouns don’t even exist in some languages. So someone’s first language may cause them to not adjust quickly to the information. (For example: Shamura’s pronouns in French are he/him because non-binary does not exist in the language.) Some languages even gender objects.

You have to understand it is you against the world if you decide to get mad about people not knowing your character’s pronouns or gender, even your pronouns or gender. It must be shared, sometimes explicitly, and then a grace given for those that fumble. It is not a slight against you if someone slips up accidentally.

I say all this because this is what I was trying to say to Rainbow. I had less words and I admit I came on strong. I simply wanted to help. I didn’t want them to get stuck in the trap of thinking everyone is disrespecting them on purpose. It’s far more complex than that and sadly they are not that important.

I did say that they were upset about just a character. A character being misgendered upset them so much. It felt ridiculous to me. It wasn’t about them. None of the misgendering was malicious. But I should have approached it another way. I did not mean to dismiss their feelings, just to try and get them to see it in a different light. I wanted to apologize for how I approached the situation and I unfortunately let my frustrations out during our talk. You can go see yourself that I never insulted them or their beliefs. I didn’t even state how ridiculous I thought it was.

This whole situation is ridiculous and I don’t understand how it got this big other than malicious intent on Rainbow’s part and/or encouragement from their friends and acquaintances to make it bigger than it needed to be.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

I will address them mentioning Nova next. They only told me two things: One, they didn’t like that Nova drew a pin up of Fern and two, Nova made sexual implications to them in DMs.

I asked if they ever told Nova they didn’t like these things. They said no. What can be done if you don’t even tell someone they are bothering you?

I basically returned this. They needed to speak up and tell him to stop. If he continued afterwards then it shows he has malicious intent and is being disrespectful. Then I can get involved. I am not going to talk for them.

I know all of the drama around Nova and I will address it later in this post.

Lastly is Lazy.

The entire time Rainbow was in the server Lazy was also there. He was a mod, even. They interacted, even if it was only Lazy commenting on their artwork.

However Lazy wasn’t named Lazy Lamb at the time, he was named LewdLamb. No, it wasn’t to cover up his identity, it was a left over joke when I changed his name to HornyLamb and then he altered it to LewdLamb.

Something tells me Rainbow didn’t know Lazy was Lazy until he got demoted from mod status and left for a few days to cool down. When he returned and since then, he has reverted back to being Lazy Lamb.

This is where “boundary crossing” came into Rainbow and mine’s talk.

They told me Lazy was a bad person. “Many” people were hurt by him. I know about the debacle Cosmica caused against him. I do not believe how he acted towards Cosmica at the time was okay. However, I was also on the other side of it. I talked to Lazy and people she mistook for Lazy. She hurt them too.

But back to the conversation with Rainbow. I asked for proof of who and how he hurt them. Who else besides Cosmica had he hurt, because I did not know of him hurting anyone else. I heard about how he “bothered” others and how people listened to Cosmica and decided to block him, but nothing else.

They refused to answer, both on their past or of anyone else. They claimed it was not their place to speak for others, however how can I take the claim as true if I’m not shown proof or at least given a name of these other “victims” of his? I pressed because this was a serious matter. They were accusing my former mod of terrible things. I have a community I am responsible for. I did want to try to convince Rainbow to return to my server as well at the time, so I also wanted to dispel their worries and to fix the issues they were bringing up.

They kept trying to shut down the conversation. I wouldn’t allow it. They had brought up concerning things about my members and it needed to be addressed. I was willing to wait hours, days, until they could be calm and collect their thoughts. I encouraged them to take time to think. It is not evident in the screenshots because of the erasing of the hourly timestamps, but every time they said no and I urged for them to calm and think, they would return 30 minutes to an hour later once again telling me no and to fully drop the subject. I wouldn’t allow the subject to never be talked about again, it was too important to leave. Apparently my insistence was boundary crossing. To a degree, I agree. They asked me to stop and I did at the time, telling them to take their time and we’ll talk later. But they wanted to never speak of it again and I couldn’t allow that. Alas, it was important for me to learn what was going on and they were the accuser. They gave themselves the burden of proof by making such claims.

I wanted to help them. Help them be less insecure, to advocate for themselves, to speak up about their problems and to understand that the world isn’t out to get them, that there’s a lot of nuance to life. I do believe I came on strong. I should have been gentler. There is only so much one can do for someone convinced they’re a victim though. Someone who doesn’t want help and would prefer to stay in their comfort bubble, always being told they’re in the right and the world is just evil; not that they should also be understanding, open minded and seek solutions instead of retribution. They were arguably surrounded by people telling them to be the way they are, which leads me to what happened next.

(A note before that: I was once “asked” ((it was accusatory and shitty but anyway)) why Rainbow needed to be in my server. Looking back, I can see that it wasn’t necessary for them to return. However at the time not only did I not understand why they left, I wanted to then resolve the problem. They were telling me bad people were in my server leading them to leaving. I wanted them, and everyone to be comfortable and that is a reason I persisted.)

Part 4: A Talk With Cosmica

After probably another hour of silence, I suddenly found myself in a group conversation with Rainbow and Cosmica, of all people.

Allow me to preface this. I am not a fan of Cosmica. She has hurt many of my friends and otherwise is a class A bully of the CoTL community. I do not like her. I was wary of her from day one of joining this community and she has only strengthened my belief in that she is a terrible person over time. She is extremely judgemental, attention seeking, dramatic and weaponizes her audience to serve these terrible habits.

And she was brought to me to “tell her side” of the conflict with Lazy that led Rainbow to decide he wasn’t a good, or even an okay, person to be around.

I already knew what happened with her and Lazy. I told Rainbow this before being brought into a conversation with the woman herself. I didn’t need to hear her extremely judgemental side again, that was also public for everyone to see anyway.

I do not agree that what Lazy did towards Cosmica after being banned was okay. He should have left her alone.

But what led to him being banned was the most intolerant act I had ever seen. He was rightfully confused and mad. It does not justify his actions afterwards, however I do not condone Cosmica’s way of handling what was frankly just an awkward situation. He had no malicious intent. He was just kinda weird and he was punished for it and it’s sickening.

I did my best to keep my cool talking to Cosmica. She didn’t know everything. And I wanted to be open for Rainbow.

It was in this conversation that Cosmica told me of Rainbow’s pronouns. I was never told them, I said that. Another instance of Rainbow not advocating for themselves.

In fact, the entire chat was Cosmica talking for them. She told me I scared Rainbow. About the pronouns. About how Lazy had done something directly to Rainbow that they hadn’t told me about. How was I to do anything if I wasn’t being informed?

I was given a screenshot of what misdoings Lazy did to Rainbow. I disagree that it was anywhere near bad enough for Rainbow to want to run away from his presence.

He messaged them after he had been banned from a second server Cosmica had recently joined. Rainbow banned him, they were a mod with the privilege to ban. He asked why and they attempted to be vague but he hit the nail on the head that Cosmica had gone to Rainbow and “warned” them about him. They took Cosmica’s word at face value and banned Lazy without further investigation.

Disgusting.

He got mad at them for banning based on hearsay of the past and specifically because of his nay-sayer, Cosmica. He should not have “yelled” (used all caps) but you know what? I would be mad too if some bully of mine got me banned from somewhere without me being able to make my case and have recourse.

I told them both I didn’t find it so bad. Lazy has anger issues. We (Lazy and I) have gotten into “yelling” matches (via text) and we still could be friends and, oh, I dunno, talk things out? What he did wasn’t okay but how both Cosmica and Rainbow handled their situations were gross overreactions and he had a right to be angry.

On the topic of what Lazy did to Cosmica, I wanted to correct her that the reason she called out Lazy by name wasn’t his doing. I knew one of the others that contacted her during that time and they were worried what she was posting about was of them.

Well. Cosmica knew that it wasn’t Lazy. She figured out it was an old stalker of hers and Lazy had left her alone all this time. Did she ever correct this? Did she send me a link to her call out post (which she had ready to give to me instantly, even though she “deleted it but it’s been reblogged and she can’t delete those”--woman, you shouldn’t know where to find those anymore if you actually cared to stop this conflict) and then give me an immediate addendum that Lazy had been innocent in that situation? NO. Instead of admitting as publicly as she “called out” Lazy of her blunder, she kept it quiet and allowed his reputation to be ruined further, even straight to my face in this new instance. She wants him to continue to suffer.

So to recap: All Lazy did was talk about his dead pets at an inappropriate time which led to him being banned because he was “weird.” No correction. No recourse. He tried to contact Cosmica afterwards to ask why he was banned and to beg to be let back in. He got mad when she denied to explain nor revert the ban and he started to ban-evade and cuss at her. This is the only thing he did wrong in this situation in my opinion--but everyone will want to think this behavior makes them right in banning him--no it wasn’t.

She eventually became his aggressor. When he gave lament for how he acted towards her to someone who was apparently her friend, she unblocked him and told him off.

Then her stalker came back. She thought it was Lazy, but never confirmed it was him and later confirmed it was the stalker instead. She even claimed blocking Lazy’s IP address to keep him from contacting her, but that’s not something anyone can do. You can’t block people’s IP addresses from coming into contact with yours. You can block an IP address from accessing a website, but not being able to contact you. Plus, even if that was possible, VPNs exist. Regardless, I take her saying that as just another way of trying to be dramatic.

It took a third party to get Cosmica to talk to Lazy and inevitably for her to back off.

But let’s not forget she’s the victim! :)

Anyhow. With this and saying what he said to Rainbow wasn’t so bad, Cosmica (remember, she’s the only one talking this whole time) said that being “triggered” once is enough. In certain situations, I agree. And I must add I do not think Cosmica should “forgive” Lazy and they should reconcile. Rainbow overreacted and abused their power in my opinion, but I also do not think they should have to be friends with Lazy. I encouraged them to block him (and Nova) if they returned to my server. They cared too much about it being noticed that they would be ignoring the two. That could have been dealt with had it become a problem. I am the admin of my server, I take care of these issues. They didn’t trust me to do my job. Probably because of how they abused their power as a mod and how they have observed others do the same. It’s sad. They’re surrounded by people who back stab each other the moment they hear nay-say. It’s disgusting. However they participate so I can’t feel bad for them anymore. I’ll go over that more later…

The end of the conversation came. I relented. Fine. Rainbow didn’t need to come back to my server. I didn’t feel things had been resolved yet, but at least things could be over for now. I told my discontent with this ending and how my respect for Cosmica was on the floor but she earned some of it to lift it up a bit higher than it was.

This was when Rainbow finally spoke when not prompted to. They told me they quit and to never speak to them or “their friends” again. They removed Cosmica from the chat, then themselves.

Thank you for that, Rainbow. Now neither of you can screenshot our conversation and spin it against me. I don’t have access to it anymore either, so I’m recounting everything from memory. I like to think I have a very good memory though, and I stand by the truth. Everyone did something wrong, but none of it was deserving of what has come out of it.

I left it at that. I did not try to contact either of them again. (Okay. I shut Cosmica up when she vague posted about Lazy. She so kindly deleted the post and blocked me. That was it though.)

Then, MONTHS later, the debacle with Nova happened and Rainbow dragged me into it. :)

Part 4: The Call Out Post

I will talk on Nova later. We’re focusing on Rainbow right now, the one that started all of this.

And their “call out” post of me is where it started. They posted our private conversations and claimed I used them with my status (allow me to reiterate, I am LESS popular than them) and crossed their boundaries.

THAT’S IT.

Why, WHY couldn’t this have been talked about privately? If they still had an issue with me, my DMs were wide open. I never blocked them. Anywhere. They only blocked me on Discord. And instead of contacting me to talk things out, they followed the bandwagon of their toxic friends and attempted to slander me because I hurt their feelings.

I did try to ask for us to talk. I was sorry about what and how things happened. But I was RESPECTING THEIR BOUNDARY to not talk to them anymore before this. I only contacted them to plead to just take down their post and let’s talk. This was ridiculous. Why do you want to slander me? Why do you feel the need to make this private matter public? I was mildly on the defensive when contacting them, being very stern and professional because I know how these people work. I did hope being that way would make them back down. It was still a request and a bid for them to see reason. I should know better from a teenager to surrender when goaded on by such a toxic community, though. I wanted to hope.

They would not talk. I was dog-piled. Rumors began to spread about me. False rumors. Rainbow reblogged everything negative they could find about me. I could not win, I couldn’t even try to come to a truce. They stonewalled me.

I was sorry. I wanted to help. Alas there is only so much I can do with an uncooperative party. I shouldn’t have asserted to be help, I know. I can’t help it. I cared about them, I wanted better for them. But not everyone wants helps and facing the truth of your flaws can be seen as mean.

I am sorry for how I acted. But I am no longer sorry for anything else. They brought this upon themselves by not letting sleeping dogs lie and not reaching out to talk privately and maturely. They went nuclear to a very small, trivial situation and I refuse to pity them for deciding to attack instead of being diplomatic.

Talk out your problems. Tell people you have issues. Advocate for yourself. COMMUNICATE.

Of course it doesn’t end here though.

Part 5: I’m An Art Thief

No.

No I’m not.

I never was.

As I was attempting to deal with this whole absurd situation and my newfound attackers, I soon got anonymous asks on my comic blog telling me to take down the art Rainbow had done for me. I declined. It was not some random person’s place to tell me to do anything. I’m sure one of those anonymous asks was Rainbow but I refused because unlike everyone else in this community, I don’t listen to hearsay.

Rainbow eventually asked, via an ask, to take down their artwork.

I offered a deal. They take down their post about me and I’ll take down their art. They refused. I attempted to give reason. They basically just attacked me. I wasn’t going to roll over and let them have their way simply because they demanded it.

They went nuclear again. Posting about how I was refusing to take down the art and was a thief.

Let’s get one thing straight. Rainbow agreed to work for me. They received payment for the work they did. I had a right to keep that artwork up.

On top of that, I wasn’t slandering them. They had a watermark on the work. I credited them. I didn’t say a THING about them after our fall out.

Now before you say they made the art for me because they wanted to do it and so it doesn’t matter what payment they got, try saying that to a business and see where that gets you. THEY AGREED. THEY RECEIVED PAYMENT. IT IS NON-REFUNDABLE. Just because payment wasn’t monetary doesn’t mean it wasn’t a payment. You all would agree I have a right to that artwork had I paid with money, so why is this different? It is known as bartering and it is a legitimate payment method.

I did not explain this well in the moment to Rainbow or my aggressors when trying to give the reason I wasn’t budging. I am not good at arguing. It is very hard for me to formulate thoughts and points in the moment. I tried my best to state my case in the comments of the call out post and its reblogs.

You can’t take back goods you have been paid for simply because you no longer like the person. You, Rainbow, feigning ignorance does not make this fact go away.

But congrats. You still ripped your work away from me and have effectively stolen from ME now, via abusing the copyright system. I would have fought it if it had not been for the wording of the recourse saying I believed the claim to be a mistake. Because it wasn’t. It was absolutely purposeful. Congratulations on abusing the system like all the other scum does on youtube, falsely claiming things as theirs, then due to how busted the system is, most creators are fucked about getting it appealed. I was fucked because despite it being your art, I PAID FOR IT. I have a right to it. You agreed to this!

You are despicable. If I were not one strike away from my account being deleted because of you and/or I had the means to fight it, that art would be back up out of spite.

If you had come to me to talk things out, and had asked me to take the art down then I would have done it, having paid for it or not. I might’ve tried to reason with you to not do it. There was no point in my eyes. It wasn’t hurting you in any way to keep your art on my page. You were getting free publicity, you got credit, I didn’t slander you. Other than you not liking me and being petty in not wanting me to have something of yours on my page, I see absolutely no reason to need to take it down. It was a winning situation for you, Rainbow, but you clearly care too much about what others think and about getting revenge.

Let me reiterate too, that this entire time Rainbow did not block me anywhere else. They were hoping to use my responses in their slander against me. You learn from the best, don’t you? I used to think you were a victim of Cosmica and co. But now you’ve graduated to being one of them. Enjoy your tiny bubble of comfort, thinking everyone is out to get you. You bring it upon yourself. Congratulations on not only abusing the copyright system but also your own audience and connections, just like the drama queen herself. I will rue the day they all turn on you at the drop of a hat like they do with everyone else.

Learn to communicate and that people can’t read your damn mind.

Eventually I had enough as the rumors got worse and I blocked Rainbow and everyone involved in the situation in hopes of saving my mental health.

(Formerly) NovaArtz:

I need to bring up Nova because he was a part of this, even if it was only a catalyst to bringing a spotlight on me.

Let’s get some things straight: What Nova did to others was not okay. It was borderline, if not full on creepy, especially what he said to Cosmica. I do not condone him being so crass about sexual advances and content sharing.

People have done far worse and what he did was overblown, especially the part where he “targeted minors.” Guys. He didn’t. Just like I (and you, and everyone else) don’t go hunting down everyone’s gender and birthday, he didn’t know the ages of those he hurt that were minors. And, as soon as he found out their ages, he disengaged and stopped talking to them--at least in a sexual manner.

It does not absolve him of what he did. I still think it was wrong. However y’all need to get off your gossip trains for one second and look at the whole picture once in a while.

Speaking of gossip trains, I was also slandered for this debacle as well. I was shown the accusation Cosmica posted about Nova that started this whole mess in my server. As I was reading through it still, I commented how people can’t take a joke.

Let me explain. Firstly, I do not consider Cosmica a good person as stated before. She creates drama left and right, and as such, I take everything she says with a massive pile of salt. I was already rolling my eyes at her pointing a finger at Nova. While I was ready to not believe her, I was still investigating the situation to form my own opinion.

Secondly, I had, again, still been reading through everything but I was making comments as I read. The particular moment I have been having thrown at me telling me I’m a terrible person for, I was reacting in the moment. I was groaning at someone who had made a claim against Nova, particularly trying to say he “targeted minors” as she was one. He, at one point, replied to one of her posts talking about how she was tired, didn’t want to go to bed, or something along those lines. His reply was of an image of a tranquilizer gun with him “threatening” her to go to bed. It. Was. A. Joke. She was showing this particular interaction as a strike against his character. I thought it was funny. So I said that in my server: People can’t take jokes these days.

Everything I said in my server at that time was a knee-jerk, in the moment reaction. And guess what? Someone else had a knee-jerk reaction to my reaction and decided to take my developing opinion comments, screenshot them and throw them in my face, claiming I thought everything Nova did was “just a joke.” I do not think that. To take my words out of context like that is ridiculous and one of the many things wrong with this damn community, and the internet as a whole.

One more time. Nova did wrong. He has said he will change. I, personally, am giving him the opportunity to change and the moment he has proven he hasn’t, he is just as admonished from my server as he has been everywhere else. However, that also means people need to speak up (looking at you, Rainbow) to both their aggressors and tell the people that can help them.

FoxBoiTunes:

I know close to nothing of what FoxBoi is like, but what I do know is that they are a hypocrite and a liar.

Pretty much as soon as my talk with Cosmica (and Rainbow was there too) was over, they announced their leave in my server. I tried to pretend it wasn’t related and tried to ask why they wanted to leave. It got brought up that they “didn’t want to get involved in drama” and yet chose a side without hearing both.

It’s so gross how this community expects everyone to be just as disgusting as them. But honestly, I’m an outlier, a black sheep if you will, though no one believes me.

FoxBoi, you actively participated in “the drama” by taking action.

Then after Rainbow made their call out post, you not only participated in “the drama” again by sharing our brief, private conversation, but then you shared a complete and utter blatant lie in an attempt to slander me.

You claimed that I did what I “did” to you by asking why someone left. Fair. I asked like two other people the same before. However the lie comes in where you state this “friend” of yours had left because I shared an image depicting rape, and I was going after them for it?

This. NEVER. Happened.

Not once have I posted an image OR story of rape in my server. I have never “gone after someone” for leaving my server, especially not in that kind of manner like I was attempting to silence or shame them. I asked why in hopes of seeing if I can make something better for them to return. If I received a no, I accepted it and moved on. So, either your “friend” was lying to get in on the “me too” pick-mes of drama or YOU lied for that exact reason.

You decided not only to participate in the drama like the hypocrite you are, but you added fuel to the fire with blatant lies. You are disgusting. I don’t care if you weren’t the one to make it up, the fact you spread it without proof just to make me more of a villain is despicable and are everything wrong with the culture you and your SJW friends perpetuate in this community.

You outright refuse to hear both sides of a situation even when offered and then share whatever drivel you hear at face value, not caring if it’s true or not. It feeds your confirmations bias so you believe it without looking into it. Or assuming this “friend” of yours doesn’t exist, YOU hope people take your lies at face value to keep that juicy dopamine and serotonin inducing drama flowing for you to see the carnage of.

You are deplorable. I will never speak to you again, even if you realize the mistake you made and the harm you cause and perpetuate. Even if you come to me groveling to apologize. You are undeserving.

Fuck you.

KaiFan

I don’t have much to say about KaiFan, but I bring them up because they brought me up.

I have this person blocked, along with Rainbow and co because they would rather listen to the gossip train than learn about the situation, ask questions and form their own opinions.

I groveled to you already. You have always been passive aggressive and it was what caused me to lose my patience with you in the past. I have apologized for this. I will not continue to grovel.

I never knew how much you looked up to me and I am not going to take responsibility for the image of me you created alone, on your own time, in your own head.

I did have a cancer scare. When I brought it up, I was not trying to shut down the conversation, I was trying to get you to understand what I am putting aside to try to help you and you were being, well, passive aggressive. I let the conversation end when you volunteered it because I knew my patience was already gone and I didn’t want to make you feel worse. I did want to help you. I let my observations boil until you gave me permission to tell you them, and I did not handle it well letting it out. That part was my fault, I admit that.

Continuing about how I spoke of cancer in the past: I don’t know when this was, but when I spoke about cancer before my own scare, it was likely about my Gramma. Who is dead. Because of cancer. I was likely trying to relate, not take over the conversation. That is a very autistic thing to do, to mention one’s own experiences as a way to relate.

I won’t condone you spreading rumors and lies about me, KaiFan, which is why I blocked you. You had me right there to talk to about all of this. You had every opportunity to ask me what was going on and to tell me your thoughts and feelings. Instead you chose to hop on the bandwagon and make everything public. I won’t allow that to happen again.

I hope you get better, however you still need to be a better person too.

Finally, I “Encourage Incest”

While this doesn’t have to do with Rainbow or the rest of the situation, as I am currently trying to defend myself I thought it relevant to put this here as well.

So. Yeah. This is ridiculous. No I do not.

Not once have I done this. Please, I challenge you to find anywhere I have said “you should fuck your sister/brother/mother/father etc,” or “check out incest bro it’s great,” or any derivative of that.

This community baffles me with its so-called morals. Just because I say it should be okay (not that I do) to ship the Bishops with each other (whom are not blood related) or Baal or Aym with Narinder, everyone gets their moral panties in a knot and claims incest. I have not said you should ship these characters. I have not said you need to. I have not said I want to. It should simply be okay to. They are not blood related! Get over it!

I am also not saying you should ship actual incestuous pairings, like Baal and Aym with each other, with their mom, Clauneck with Chemach or Kudaii. And, y’know what, if you come across people that do, leave them alone because they’re fictional fucking characters and let people have fun??

It is great if you see the Bishops as family! If you see Baal and Aym as adoptive sons to Narinder! I can see that too! I do like them as a family! I’m just saying if people do ship them together (or in my case are simply okay with it), it, firstly, is not “encouraging incest” and secondly shouldn’t be so damn polarizing as it is! How is it that a game that has: alcohol, drugs, brainwashing, murder, abortion (by some people’s standards), forced and arranged marriage, sex, arranged sex, indoctrination, cannibalism, slavery, stealing, trafficking, nudism, polygamy, polyamory, and I could go on, that perceived and by definition not actual incest is the line everyone draws as being the worst thing ever?

Get over yourselves and let people have fun!

Last words

I am not a saint. I am not innocent in all of this. I know I have done wrong. What came of my blunders was blown way out of proportion though. All of this should have been a series of private conversations. Instead we have everyone reveling in the drama they create and enjoying others being hurt.

All comments on this post, regardless of what they say, will be deleted. I will not accept limited character discussion about this. Either you need to reblog this in its entirety or talk to me privately if you want to make comments. I will block people the moment they show they are not coming to talk and only want to throw insults and accusations.

Please, learn to communicate. Talk things out. Give chances. Understand.

No one mentioned needs to forgive me, to forgive others, to be forgiven. I don’t believe in forgiveness. Alas, I do believe in understanding and moving on, and doing so in a mature and calm manner. But as this was made a public matter, I needed to explain what happened as my aggressors will never own up to such things.

I will do my best to learn and grow from this. I want to be better. It is hard though. I am far from perfect. I want to do right by the people that look up to me, alas it is those that looked up to me and found I wasn’t up to the image they made of me that this whole situation started. Don’t look up to me. I am an imperfect, struggling human being with anxiety, depression and autism. I am not strong. I will keep going though.

Thank you for your time.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Another fic prompt that follows on from the previous but Solek embraces Teylan after they free him/he escapes back to them, he’s dressed more rda than ever and he’s covered in bruises. Teylan is conflicted.

(tw past noncon, past csa, trauma, age difference)

ao3

The other Sarentu keep close watch over Teylan in the days after he returns to them, ash in his hair and smoke trailing in his wake. They carry food in and out of his room, hover outside his door when he gets visits from the Anufi or one of the other Resistance medics, help him to the showers and refuse to let anyone else in until he's done.

So'lek watches them whisper together, lips close to each other's ears, or sign, a strange blend of human gestures adapted to fit four fingers and tail-and-ear movements that don't match any Na'vi sign language So'lek knows. Even Alma doesn't understand it, not that she would translate for him if she could.

Not that So'lek would want to translate, of course, to intrude. But...but he hasn't seen Teylan since they brought him back, and he is--concerned.

Four days after Teylan gets back (not that he's counting) So'lek finds the courage time to finally approach Teylan's door. Ri'nela slips out just as he draws near, shoulders tightening.

"You'll have to come back later," she says. "He's resting, he--"

"Ri?" Teylan calls from within. "Who's there?"

Ri'nela opens her mouth, but So'lek is quicker. "It's So'lek," he calls, and instantly starts to doubt himself. "I can come back later--"

"No, no, it's fine!" He can hear rustling movements, blankets being tugged. "Ri, let him in." A beat. "Ri..."

"Fine." Ri'nela moves away with a huff, watching So'lek enter carefully. "Yell if you need us, okay?" she tosses into the room, and then she's gone, tail twitching in her wake.

"Sorry about that," Teylan says, as So'lek closes the door behind him. 'They've all been a bit...overprotective." He snorts a jagged laugh. "Or maybe I should say paranoid."

He's sitting up in the bed, sheets pulled high, but not so high that So'lek can't see he's still wearing RDA clothes, albeit freshly washed. His cap is off, for once, resting on a desk next to him, and his hair is damp, like he's just gotten out of the shower.

There are bruises on his arms, along his throat. There are bandages where he had to cut out his own tracking chips after he blew up that base.

"I see you," So'lek says, gesturing tentatively.

Teylan opens his mouth, closes it, looks away. "Hi."

Not sure what else to do, So'lek crosses the room and carefully settles onto a heap of pillows at Teylan's side. He can see something on the bed besides Teylan, one of those human iterations of songcords that Priya calls a book. If he looks at it carefully he can decipher the Sky People writing on the cover, the words Growing Back Feathers: Aftermaths of Sexual Abuse for Survivors and Loved Ones.

"Sorry." Teylan blushes as he grabs the book and shoves it under the pillow. "Nor gave it to me, I don't...it was going around, I had some free time. It's stupid."

"It doesn't--I didn't mean to pry." So'lek fumbles for his pockets, trying not to accidentally pull out a stray dog tag or a grenade, trying not to think of the word sexual. "I wanted to give you this."

It might as well be a grenade for the way Teylan stiffens as So'lek pulls out the songcord. He presses back against the headboard, jaw tight, eyes darting anxiously over each of the tiny beads. "You found it?"

"After the battle." So'lek waits a long, awkward moment for Teylan to take the songcord before awkwardly setting it on the desk, next to the cap. "After you were taken." He clears his throat. "I am...sorry. That I didn't get to you in time."

"It's fine," Teylan says, in a way that sounds very not fine. He looks away, scratching his neck, and it's even harder than before to ignore the RDA logo stamped across his chest like a brand.

So'lek feels his tail wrap around his own leg, a child's anxiety, and does his best to ignore it as he speaks. "I can get you some new clothes--"

"No," Teylan says flatly. He squeezes his eyes shut, opens them to stare at nothing. "Sorry, but I don't...the bruises go everywhere. I don't want people to see that."

"There's no shame in bearing a warrior's wounds," So'lek points out.

"Warrior, huh." Teylan snorts, more bitter than So'lek's ever heard him.

"Yes, warrior," So'lek shoots back. "But if you wish, I can find you something else." Far be it from him to judge a Na'vi for wearing Dreamwalker garb, and there's probably something of Alma's (it's not like she's using it anymore) that will serve until Teylan heals.

But Teylan shakes his head, ears limp. "That's what the others said, but I can't--" He fiddles with the collar of his shirt, jaw tight. "I made them wash this instead, when I got back. It's not safe to wear anything else, not right now. He'd be...he'dmad. If he finds me, and I'm not wearing what he gave me."

Inhale. Exhale. So'lek chokes down the sudden, sharp urge to weep. "Teylan--"

"I know," Teylan growls, hunching over himself with a groan. "I fucking know, okay? Everyone says it, they all said he's never gonna touch me again, but they said it before and I don't--I can't--" He shakes his head, ears flapping like he's trying to ward off bugs. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm crazy, like I'm stupid." Teylan's hands tap frantically at the bed, tail lashing. "I'm not crazy--I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm..."

"I believe you," So'lek says firmly. "I don't think you're crazy, Teylan, but he will not touch you again, I swear it. And one day, you'll be able to believe me."

"You're..." Teylan lets out a long, slow breath, then another. So'lek breathes with him automatically, watching Teylan's chest rise and fall, rise and fall.

"You're probably right," Teylan admits, slowly uncurling. "But I can't--I can't. Not yet. Do you get that?"

"I think so," So'lek replies, honestly. He shifts slightly in place, then makes the offer before he can change his mind: "May I...hug you?"

Silence, so long that So'lek starts to think he's made a serious mistake. Then Teylan turns to look at him, frowning. "You mean it?"

"Of course." Teylan is well aware how sparing So'lek is with embraces, he has to know So'lek wouldn't say such a thing flippantly.

"O-okay, then." Teylan leans down slightly and So'lek reaches up, carefully wrapping his arms around Teylan's shoulders. It's an awkward hug, especially since he can't climb onto the bed with Teylan--something tells him that wouldn't be appreciated, not right now.

(Teylan smells odd, a blend of foreign and familiar, his heart thumping gently as it presses against So'lek's chest. His palm brushes down So'lek's back, stirring warmth in his belly, and he firmly pushes those sensations away). 

"You gotta let me go," Teylan murmurs suddenly, and So'lek obeys immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asks, worried he's made a mistake.

"It's nothing! I just, I need to make sure you would--it's fine." Teylan fumbles along the desk, grabbing, seemingly by accident, the songcord. He pulls it to his chest, over the RDA logo. "It's okay."

So'lek settles back, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to settle himself. "John Mercer," he announces decisively, "is a dead man walking. You and I will make sure of that."

Teylan rolls his eyes. "You always say the nicest things." But he's smiling as he says it, fingers brushing back and forth over the songcord like he's polishing a treasure.

[ahbts]

Kinktober day 2: Rosekiller - Vampire || NSFW || Words: 1827|| Tags: Vampire Barty - Human Evan - blood

The music is loud in Evan’s ear, all around him are people dancing, close together and sweating from every pore. Evan is moving to the sound, his body moving on its own accord with the bass vibrating in his bones. There are hands on his hips, guiding his movements as Evan loses himself in the rhythm. 

He lost James long ago, to some dark-haired stranger in a mesh top and leather skirt who had winked one time and his friend was making excuses to follow the man into the crowd. Evan doesn’t mind. The house is big but there are people everywhere and the combination of drugs and alcohol running through his body are making his head spin in the best way possible. 

When he opens his eyes for a second the world around him is in multicolour, purple, blue, green and red blurring his vision, making it spin and resulting in a manic laugh falling from his mouth. He wants to close his eyes again, lose himself in the euphoria but there is a man in front of him and all of a sudden Evan can’t look away. His eyes are stuck on the most electric blue he has ever seen. All other colours fall away and there is only that blue, as bright as a lightning bolt shooting through the night sky. They are beyond gorgeous. 

The man smiles lovely and lowers his head a bit so his mouth is aligned with Evan’s ear. “You are beyond gorgeous.” 

Oh, he had said that out loud. Evan doesn’t know what is going on but his whole body feels like it’s on fire, a sweat breaking out and the only thing he can think about is how amazing the man smells. a mixture of cologne, sweat and a distinguished scent Evan can’t place.

There are hands on his hips, lips on his neck and the outlining of a hard cock against his own rapid-filling one. There is no way the man isn’t feeling the clear sign of his arousal and Evan’s head is in such a ‘not-caring-about-anything’ mode that he bucks his hips forward, his hands on the man’s arse to pull him even closer. 

“Eager boy,” the man chuckles low and Evan’s head spins from the warmth of his voice. 

“I have no idea who I even am but all I know is that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” Evan tells him, leaning back to look at the man again. He has to look. Pale skin, almost luminescent under the lights of the room and when he lowers his eyes to the man’s lips he can see the plumpness in them from the man biting down on the pink cushions. 

“Why thank you,” he says, smiling back and revealing pearl white teeth, his canines a bit more pointy than normal canines. Almost like fangs. Evan looks back up to the man’s eyes and the electric blue is gone, the lightning colour that had intrigued him morphed into something darker. “Want to get out of here, pretty boy?” 

Something in the back of Evan’s mind is screaming at him not to, shake his head and get away from the man, but his body is already moving, following the man out the door and up a staircase. He is walking backwards, but with a grace that Evan has never seen before. How the man is not tripping over his own feet is a mystery to Evan but they reach the landing of the first floor and without looking the man reaches behind him, turning the nob and taking hold of Evan’s shirt to drag him inside. 

“I’m Barty by the way,” he smiles, grinning more likely, before Evan is pushed against the door and Barty is caching him in with his hands. “And I have never wanted someone more than I want you.”    

“Then take me,” Evan answers automatically, his whole body standing behind the words. 

Barty doesn’t wait a second after the verbal encouragement and surges forward to kiss Evan, hard and deep, his tongue licking into his mouth with a fire Evan had never encountered before. He moans when the pointy canines find his lip, first from pleasure but there is pain when Barty bites a bit too hard and he draws blood. 

Evan expects the man to lean back, apologise and take a moment to insect his lip. To his utter surprise, he is pushed up to the door even more forcefully, their crotches sliding together with delicious friction while Barty sucked the blood from his lip. 

Okay, bloodkink is something people have. Evan isn’t going to shame people for their kinks but when Barty lets go and moves his sharp canines over Evan’s pulse point with purpose Evan’s breath hitches and his foggy mind clears considerably. 

“Are you–” he doesn’t even know what he wants to ask but brings his fingers to Barty’s hair to pull the man back from his neck. His intoxicated state clears when he is met with deep crimson eyes. “What are you?” 

The question should have come out in a terrified tremble but Evan recognises the curiosity in his voice and lifts one simple brow when Barty smirks. 

“Hungry.” 

“Not what I asked,” Evan drawls when Barty tries to move into his neck again. He holds his hair and a soft whine comes from the beautiful creature in front of him. Barty probably is strong enough to free himself but he doesn’t, just staring at Evan with the salacious grin.

Evan studies the man, his bloodred eyes, the smooth pale skin, the longed canines. He feels the strain on his hand from the strength of the man and the elegance and speed with which Evan had been ushered into the room. It clicks in his brain and he should be scared, should go running, but everything Evan has ever read about vampires always turned out in either romance or mindblowing sex and both he wouldn’t mind. 

“You’re a vampire, aren’t you?”

“Very good,” Barty’s grin turns into a smile and he leans back a little, creating space between his and Evan’s body. He mourns the loss of the pressure against him and tries to move back in but Barty is moving. Like lightning speed the man –vampire– is across the room and on the bed. He rakes his hand through his shoulder length hair, revealing the streaks of red underneath the black that match the colour of his eyes had a moment ago. They seem to be back to blue now. “But you don’t seem scared?”

He is right. Evan isn’t scared. The rush in his blood is excitement, adrinaline, curiosity. “Never interesting ever happens to me,” he shrugs, sauntering over to the bed in a deliberate slow walk, sinking down and crawling over the man. “Why would I be scared of an interesting creature I thought only to be true in fantasy.” 

It’s a flash, one millisecond and Evan is on his back, Barty pushing him down, grinning his fangs on display. “I could kill you.”

“But you won’t.” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

“Because I can’t die without knowing how mind-blowing sex with a vampire can be,” Evan grins, dragging Barty down and working quickly to get his clothes off while he kisses him again, wanting to be eaten whole by the vampire. “Is it as hot as in the movies?” 

Barty grins, moving his teeth to Evan’s neck and nipping at it, making the smallest nick in his skin. “Even more so.”

They kiss and bite and there are nails and bruising hands everywhere. Evan is panting quickly, his cock weeping against his skin when Barty moves down and looks up from between his legs. “I need to know your name to moan it, darling,” the man whispers before licking up Evan’s cock. 

“E-Evan,” he stuttered in a gasp. 

“Evan,” Barty whispers, the name sounding like velvet from his mouth. “Evan, if I tell you I want to suck you dry in all ways possible what would you say?”

“Yes, please,” Evan groans, bucking his hips up to meet Barty’s grinning mouth, the fangs gracing his cock, making it jump in anticipation. 

“Excellent,” Barty grins, winking his teeth into Evan’s thigh and sucking hard. Evan’s head spins from the lack of blood and something intoxicating that might be coming from Barty but he is not sure. He just wants to touch himself and at the same time please Barty. 

A hand finds his cock and starts working it while the sucking on his thigh continues. He moans loudly and begs for more as Barty moves his mouth to the other leg. “Barty, please, I want you, want to feel you.” 

He looks down, finding the deep red eyes staring up at him, blood around his lips and Evan had never before seen something so beautiful. There is a wind and a flash, Barty is gone and back again in two seconds, lube in hand. 

“Open wide for me, puppet,” Barty drawls and Evan’s legs fall open to give access to the man to slide two of his fingers into him. He is opened up quickly and when Barty comes up to hang over him Evan throws his head back exposing his neck for the vampire to latch onto his artery. “Oh, look at you,” he drawls, kissing Evan before he moves back down his neck, “so eager for me, so good. You taste so good, I hope I can stop when I have to.” 

There is a kiss against Evan’s neck, his heart is thundering when he feels Barty pushing into him. “Forgive me if I can’t, Evan,” he whispers against Evan’s neck before his teeth sink in and the sharp pain of punctuating skin shoots through Evan. It’s glorious. 

They move together, Barty sucking his neck dry while he works hard to pump him full. Loud moans fill the room and Evan is floating, his head feels light and his eyes roll back more with every thrust. Barty is so strong and Evan is holding onto his hair, shoulders, and hips, for his life, literally. 

“Barty, fuck, please, I–” he stutters, moaning uncontrollably when he feels his consciousness slipping away. Barty picks up his pace even more, powerfully thrusting into Evan to chase his climax. He hits the right spot inside Evan over and over and when the thrusts get sloppier a hand reaches between them, wrapping around Evan and undoing him completely.

He comes with a soft whimper, unable to produce more sound than that. He feels Barty letting go of his neck faintly but the world is a fuzz and he knows he is going to pass out. There is a cloth against his skin and another voice floating into the room.

“Jesus Barty, did you kill him?”

The last thing Evan thinks before he blacks out is; that if he is dying he would die a very happy man.

[wasyago]

Do you have any advice for someone who isn’t an art clout chaser but more just wants ppl to see their art?

i mean, i don't know, i just post things that i enjoy making and people who like it stick around, umm

but i guess if you're asking for advice specifically there are some things that might help? not in any particular order.

have a specific tag for your art that is either obvious or easy to find, in your bio or pinned for example. most artists use "my art" tag, some artists have unique tags, id's say if its easy to understand that this tag leads to specifically things that you've drawn - its good. its hard to find all your art among the reblogs, so having an easy path to it is helpful!

speaking of tags, use fandom and character tags if you're drawing for a fandom! that's like, the main way people can first learn of you - if they check their favorite character's tag and see your art there! i don't post original work so idk what tags to use there, but if you need it you can do some research and find out.

have a signature with the name of your blog or account on your art. please. for when someone saves your art and wants to find your acc later, or when someone shows it to their friend and they're interested enough to find you, or when someone forgets your url, or anything. please sign your art!!!!!!! as someone who loves saving pictures and looking at them later, im begging you, its impossible to find you when you don't sign your art.

don't be mean to yourself in the captions under your art. i know its enticing to say "a shitty doodle haha" or "this drawing sucks but im posting it anyway", but please don't. for yourself first of all, be kind to yourself, this is art, not a test. and for others as well, because when people see that the artist is downing on themselves - they don't want to engage with that and are less likely to reblog your art. by saying something mean you invite people to feel the same. (i myself struggle with this by saying criticisms in my tags, but im trying to deal with it)

kind of on the same topic, don't try to gaslight or pressure people into reblogging your art either. don't say things like "reblog this or you're not a good person ^_^" or "if you don't reblog you hate art". just like. no.

umm, make your art look presentable in the post. i don't have any structural advice on how to do this, just uh. comes with practice i guess, figuring out when a drawing is better to post on its own, when it's better to have a lot of small things together, when its better to have a drawing big and clear or have multiple in a row for people to click on, etc. depends on the context and your style and stuff so, try things?

i guess customize your blog to where it's fitting you and your style? this is definitely more of a personal preference than advice. i like it when a blog is easy and pleasing to look at and doesn't hurt my eyes, bright colors and eyestrains are very hard to look at for long and if they're everywhere - this is definitely not a page im gonna stay on for longer than 3 seconds. again, personal preference, and this is more of a "know your audience" type of deal.

and just. enjoy what you're doing? have fun and post things that you like and resonate with? find your own way of doing things and posting? be yourself? remember that this is tumblr and we're all just sharing our interests and thoughts and we're all just people here? yea

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

Chapter 8

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER That's right, after being out of commission for a couple months, chapter 8 is FINALLY finished.

AND I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN ASKING FOR IT:

Where the Stars Don't Shine is finally posted on ao3! The new chapter is here!

I am so so so sorry about the wait, so I made it extra long just for you guys! As always, @itsberrydreemurstuff, @bibooby, @laegume and @andyssilly, welcome back to the slumber party, I saved yall some front row seats! (If anyone else wants to be tagged just lemme know and I'll put ya in the next one!) Anyways, hope yall enjoy this, and without further ado-

On with the show!

Word Count: 4,962

-------

All your excitement during your encounter with Sun vanishes when it becomes clear just what sort of day it’s going to be.

You had a bit of a mixed bag in attendance today. All your regulars, plus a couple new faces here and there. It started out okay, really.

And then one new kid in particular showed his hand and cemented his legacy as one of the most spoiled children you have ever had the dishonor of meeting.

You try not to dwell on it and just move on, but this kid…this kid is awful . Pushing other kids around, turning his nose up at snacks and eating off other kids’ plates, ripping the heads off toys…

(You really have to remember to bring your sewing kit next time.)

You know it’s not the kid’s fault for his behavior, more of the people who raised him, and you try not to hold it against him, you really do. By the looks of it, Sun is trying, too, but both of your patience is drawing thin.

You draw the line when he tears out a page of your books that one of the other boys was reading.

You remind yourself repeatedly that you are not allowed to punch a child. 

You do put him in time-out, though. And you can guess by this kid’s behavior that their parents are going to raise hell about it.

You discover some hours later that your assumption is completely correct when said parent comes in later to pick up their child and you confront them about the brat’s behavior, to which their response is an offended gasp and a rant about how awful your work ethic is and you’re not providing enough care this is why people like you are in jobs like this you’re lucky you’re even employed that makes the brick walls behind security desk that you have the strong urge to slam your head into all the more appealing. You stand there with a polite customer service smile and take it like the valued employee you are while trying to remember what temperature human flesh burns at before chastising yourself, until you’re thrown back into reality and catch the tail end of what she says. 

“-and are you even listening to me right now? Ugh, you’re even denser than the robot, at least it can do its job right. You’re supposed to be the competent worker and you’re being beaten by a walking junkyard pile-”

Yeah, nope, not this again.

You bristle at her words, gritting your teeth slightly and forcing your smile to maintain itself. If it looks slightly more manic than intended, that can’t be helped, but you had always been good at playing the part of someone weaker than you. “I’m so sorry you feel that way, ma’am. I’m sure you can leave a review regarding our services on our website if you’d like. However, Fazbear does not tolerate abuse and slander of any of its staff. Thanks for stopping by and have a Faz-er- iffic day!”

You slam the door in her face just as she opens her mouth (likely to respond with another offensive remark) and dust your hands off in satisfaction. It’s not the first time someone’s come to complain about you and your coworkers. In truth, the company probably couldn’t care less how the clients treated their workers and their ‘property’ as long as they got paid. Slander against you, you could understand; you signed a contract and sold your soul away. One of the agreements was to deal with annoying clients. But the other two? They had been built for this, any complaint against them was the fault of the company itself, and besides, you couldn’t see them as anything other than people since the moment you’d spoken to them. After all, a company probably wouldn’t leave a prerecorded message expressing immediate hostility towards its employees on their first day of work, now would it?

They had to have some level of sentience to make that decision.

You mark off the last child with a pleased grin. At least with the way she’d reacted you could guarantee that neither the harpy woman nor her little satan spawn son ever set foot in the Daycare ever again.

You do unfortunately still have to clean up the carnage left behind, though. You grab a broom and a dustpan, ready to sweep up the crumbled play-doh and ripped stuffing from earlier, back straightening with a sharp inhale when the lights cut off. Not terribly uncommon, but it still left you uneasy. Moon didn’t get to do his little song and dance during naptime because you were preoccupied punishing a rulebreaker, and you’re pretty sure he’s fixing to dish out his skewed idea of justice one way or another.

Lo and behold, the tell-tale click of a wire descending directly behind you gives away his intentions. 

“ Aww , thank you for defending our honor so nobly , little knight,” he croons mockingly. You don’t even have to turn in his direction to know he’s fanning his faceplate and fake swooning in a ‘my fair maiden’ pose. You say nothing, just sweeping stiffly under his suspended shadow and inspecting the floor. You’d have to bring out the vacuum for the carpet, plus a mop.

You miss his frown at your evident disinterest. 

“So brave, to come to our aid when we were utterly defenseless ,” he continues, picking a small bit of clay off your shoulder and flicking it aside. “But you know, you seemed to have forgotten what I told you earlier…”

He pauses, seemingly waiting for some response of probing to continue. If he is, he’ll be sorely disappointed. Though you’re usually the one after them for conversation, you’re in no mood for it after the day-no, the week, the whole damn month , really- you’ve had. You just want to go home, take a shower, and sleep for an eternity. 

His frown grows further in distaste, and he decides to grab your attention by gripping your shoulders tightly and lifting you a few inches off the ground. Your previously unfocused gaze now snaps to him, alert and on guard.

Wuh-oh.

That’s more like it.

“We do not need your help ,” he sneers, shaking you by the front of your shirt. You blink and gulp nervously, unsure as to where this is coming from. You feel the worst of your nausea as he starts to raise you towards the ceiling with you hanging onto his wrists tightly.

“Moon…” you speak warningly, a shot of nervousness streaking through you as the ground grows further away. His only response is a sadistic chuckle, and the delicately crafted facade over your sickness accumulating from over the past few weeks worsens exponentially. Your stomach lurches and you hazard a quick glance down. You’re hanging a good thirty feet above the ballpit and still steadily climbing, and judging by the glint in your captor’s eyes, you’re not going to like where this is headed.

It’s safe to panic now.

“Moon, stop it, that’s enough,” you tell him, voice wavering. After no response, you try again. “Moon, that’s enough, put me down.” Silence. “That’s enough , drop it!”

He stops for a second, grin falling a little before returning full force. “Well, if you insist ,” he laughs darkly. 

Your eyes widen and for a moment, nothing happens. Then he yanks your hands off him and lets go, watching you plummet to the ground with sinister glee.

Then, you’re falling.

You think you scream, you can’t tell. You crash into the ballpit right after, but it doesn’t cushion your fall. You hiss immediately on impact, clenching your fists and curling in on yourself. The plastic balls dig into your spine, sending waves of pain throughout your body. Your eyes are squeezed shut and you don’t dare open them lest you see that face looming over you. You do a quick check-over, wiggling your toes and bending your joints weakly. Somehow, nothing is broken, but you can’t tell over the searing pain in your side. You thought it was bad before, but that was nothing compared to now. The dull ache is burning, setting your nerves on fire with as much as a twitch. Your back is in a similar shape, as are your legs. 

You don’t know how long you stay like that before Moon’s shadow looms over you from the side of the pit. He makes some stab at you that you don’t really process over the ringing in your ears. Existing hasn’t taken such a toll on you before. His voice still carries into the white noise. You manage to get your mouth moving again and whisper, voice crackling, “Knock it off, Moon.”

Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t let up on his teasing, and you vaguely register his response. “Oh, poor little worker can’t take a tumble. Too weak to pick yourself back up again? Not that I see much of a difference. You’ve always got your head down, ballpit or that desk you laze at. Best to let the ‘bucket of bolts’ do the work, hm ?”

You say nothing, not finding the idea of lifting your head and entertaining his little act worth it in your state. You remain limp in the ballpit, knees hugged to your chest in fetal position.

You hear him step closer to you, and jerk slightly when blue digits dig into your shoulders to pull you up. A cry of pain erupts from you at the fingers embedding themselves in your shoulder blades. They retract quickly as if burned by a pot sitting too long on the stove, as if this was the first time they’ve ever felt such heat before. Your severe pain and slightly depressive state dissipates momentarily and is instead replaced with white-hot anger that threatens to bubble over.

You slap his hand away and shout, “It’s not funny, Moon, knock it off! ”

He freezes, hands twitching in the air. His optics flicker, narrowing as he reaches back out to capture you once out. You smack his wrist again and ignore the added pain of striking metal. 

You stagger out of the ballpit, standing on shaky legs. You don’t give him a chance to speak before you start up again. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, man? You dropped me from 50 feet up, I could’ve died ! What did I even do to you?”

His faceplate turns in a silent half-rotation before he shrugs.

Oh no he did not . 

You explode, gesturing wildly as his simple movement spurs you on. “So what, you just don’t like me and decided to fucking throw me off the balcony like some- some doll for you to mess around with?! Pfft, yeah sure, that makes sense! Let’s just drop someone from 40 feet ‘because we don’t like them’! Wow, Moon, I can see how you guys got your position with that logic !”

“Oh wait! ” you spin around sharply, a manic grin on your face that seems to twist every meek and modest feature on your face as you continue on. “That’s why I’m here! Because for all your hard work, Management still decided to shove me into this hellhole! And it doesn’t mean much, it’s Management, they don’t mean anything, but hey , guess what? I never wanted to be here, but surprise-surprise, no one wants to hire a nobody who didn’t push through their degree except a shady company with a world record in OSHA violations and an even bigger death toll! So here I am, getting paid 30 dollars an hour to deal with your ungrateful asses for five hours a day, not to mention the ridiculous amount of unpaid overtime of three to five EXTRA hours I dedicate to this sorry place, all without a single day off in the past six months that I have worked here, each of which have been filled with your non-stop harassment and shitty attitude, which for some bizarre reason I haven’t reported yet! So why, pray tell, have you been dead set on punishing me for a crime I have yet to commit? What did I even do to you?” 

It’s a trap. Moon knows it’s a trap, but he refuses to let you get away with such slander on his turf. He rolls his eyes and huffs, “ Oh, please , you aren’t nearly as victimized as you make yourself out to be. You slack off during playtime while Sun handles everything, you’re constantly snoozing away at your desk unless you oh-so graciously decide to grace us with a moment of your time, and sometimes you don’t even show up at all. I think we have much more of a right to type up a report than you ever will.”

Alright, that’s it- “Oh, really ? Alright, buster, don’t give me that shit, I know damn well what I’m worth. For the record, I do play with the kids - which, if I may remind you, is not in my job description- until sweet lil Sunny starts giving me a death stare for daring to intrude on his precious playtime. And I do pitch in around here, just as much if not MORE than you do! Guess what, cheesehead? I clean the ballpit. I order the food, I buy the supplies, bring the books, put the kids toys back together, organize a monthly schedule AND deal with your sorry asses,  so don’t be telling me how to do my job, got it ? And don’t start up about my breaks, cuz, huh , I wasn’t aware that a two minute break in the place of an hour’s worth of free time was against my contract! I take time off when I know I’m not needed so that I don’t keel over and leave you to deal with over 40 kids! And even with that, I’ve still never taken an actual sick day off the entire time I’ve worked here because I know this is how you’ll react! When was the last time I didn’t show up to work, huh?”

Moon is swift with his reply, almost anticipating the question. “Last month, you took nearly two weeks off without telling your supervisors,” he states triumphantly, as if this had somehow won him the argument.

Oh, this absolute idiot . 

His victorious grin falls slightly at your disbelieving laughter. “Two weeks?! I’ve been working here for six months and you’re hung up on two weeks ?! I’ll have you know that I did tell my supervisors-which you are not , by the way- that I would be out on unpaid sick leave. And I know they didn’t tell you about it because I knew exactly what would happen, and it did! I thought you could respect it and let it go , but apparently not, cuz  you can’t handle not sticking your obnoxiously pointed nose up someone’s business! And now I’m the nosy one!” Your voice grows louder, and you throw your arms out with a wide, dangerous gleam in your eyes. 

“You wanna know where I was? Why I was gone? Well guess what, Craterhead, I was in the hospital making sure my brother didn’t drop dead ! I had to make sure he didn’t flat line halfway through a surgery !”

Oh.

Oh no.

Moon’s eyes widen, regret flickering across his face for a second. He takes a small step back, retreating as you advance. A jab to the chest pulls him back to the present, and his optics narrow.

“But you don’t care about any of that, do you? All you care about is your stupid reputation and oh no, Sunny and Moony can’t have a human ruining everything, because that’s all this meatbag knows how to do! Oh no, poor Sunny and Moony!”

You watch his expression drop like a thermometer exposed to subzero temperatures, red optics pinpricks in a sea of black that threaten to overtake them, contracted pupils tensed like a rubber band about to snap. A spark of something, perhaps vindication, ignites within you, overshadowing the voice in the back of your mind that quietly warns you of what to come, to back down before it’s too late.

A pity your brother isn’t here to hold you back. 

Your voice drops dangerously low for a moment, a deathly whisper that somehow seeps fear into Moon’s systems more than your uncontrolled rage.“I bet you tried to break me, didn’t you, wanted to see me all battered and bruised with my tail tucked between my legs as I ran out of this godforsaken place. Oh, don’t act so surprised, we both knew you never liked me. You never liked me or the idea of someone coming along to jeopardize your position, your life’s purpose, the only thing you have ever been good for, and so you pushed, even when I went along with all your orders, all your demands and your stupid checkpoints and your stupid, stupid rules, pushed and pushed and pushed until I couldn’t take it anymore, and here we are. Well, no more ! You knew there was a breaking point, you both did. Well, here it is, the final straw! Your hard work finally paid off, you’ve made me even more miserable than before, and for what? Is this what you wanted, Moon, Sun? Are you finally satisfied? ”

Moon is still in front of you, hands drawn to his chest, pupils watching fat drops roll down your cheeks and leave stained rivers on your skin as you smile that angry, heartbreaking, defeated smile that cuts through their wires like glass shards, words stabbing through his central processors and sending a jolt through them both. He wants to respond, wants to say something clever and leave you sputtering and defeated, but nothing comes to mind. He always has a retort, a comeback, a witty remark or a snarky comment to make you bend to their will, and yet this time he’s the one left grasping for straws. He’s speechless, voicebox pushing out low static as he struggles to formulate a reply. You don’t give him the time to, resuming with a steady confidence they’ve never seen in you before. This is a side of you that is unfamiliar to them. They don’t quite know what to make of it, and so they stay unwillingly silent as you answer your own question with an air of finality. 

“No, you’re not. And I’ll tell you why. This perfection that you’ve tried so hard to pin down? Hate to break it to you, buddy, but perfect is something even machines can’t accomplish, no matter how advanced or well-built they think they are. It never will be. You and Sun both think you’re oh-so-great and so far above lil ol’ me and my stupid human brain, but I think you forget that you’re just as bad as I am. I’ve seen the daycare reviews, boys, and trust me, they are not pretty. Our sweet little ball of Sunshine scared kids so bad with his pushiness that a good deal of them just didn’t come back, and you? Oh, you scared the shit out of kids, didn’t you? You left them shivering in their sleeping bags in fear of the very thing that swore to protect them. 

“So tell me”- you tilt your head, smile growing sickeningly sweet as your eyes squint upwards, hands poised together as you punctuate every syllable that leaves your lips - “What exactly do you think gives you any authority over me? How do you think you can protect anyone from me when you can’t even protect them from yourself?”

You let the words hang in the air for a moment, the manic grin not leaving your face as you turn around to sweep over the daycare after the prolonged eye contact with burning red optics begins to sting your eyes. 

 “But hey!” you call out behind you with a laugh like shattered glass left on cold tile. “Don’t take my word for it. I’m just the dumb worker you had to boot cuz you didn’t want someone to steal the spotlight.”

You whip back around to give a final comment before catching a glimpse of Moon. His pupils are near non-existent, eyes dark and empty. His static grin is too wide, fingers too sharp, curling and uncurling. You freeze, words cutting to a halt, and you swear his grin grows wider.

“ R̶̻̘̃͂̈́͋́ ̶̢̛͇̠͔̤̥͉̜̖̫̰̬̬̝̓͛̾̅̓̑̌́͆̅̇̿̎͂̈́͘̕͠Ǘ̸̡̻͖̅̄̄̚ ̵͖̱͕̫̋̈́̀́͊̇̐̀̒̒̋͑̅̀͗̊́́̚̕͝N̵̘̰͓̹̖̘̦̪͂̓̎̅̊̀͘̕͜ ̶̡͕̙͖̟͍̼͙̠̺̹̦̘̙̘̠̏̾̿̏̂͜ͅ," he growls. 

It sends a chill up your spine, dousing your anger in fear. You don’t waste time waiting for him to start chasing. You’re already booking it across the Daycare and to the exit. 

You’re maybe 10 paces in when you hear him behind you, wire clicking and shooting him to the ceiling. You know it’s a losing battle, he could easily take you if he wanted to. He doesn’t though, not yet. It’s the chase he’s after.

You dare not turn to check behind you, instead running blindly in hopes of somehow managing to hide. Your logical reason tells you to just leave, but it’s drowned out by pure instinct to run, get away, danger-

Moon has a severe advantage and you both know it. He knows the area. Still, you foolishly blunder on, making a hard right that almost makes you trip before you stumble back up again. You’re lucky he doesn’t do this more often because man you are out of shape. He hasn’t chased you since the first two months, you’d thought these games were behind you.

You wheeze as you bump into a wall, barely managing to dodge a wet floor bot. You can’t keep this up much longer. Your heart’s been kicked into overdrive, beating at a rate you know isn’t normal. Distantly, pain tingles in your elbow, muffled by the adrenaline pulsing through you. You’re surprised you haven’t bumped into any of the GlamRocks. They may not like you, but it’s better than this. 

Maybe they’re patrolling different floors? They could be charging.

All at the same time.

Yeah…

You skid to a sudden stop. You were just here, weren’t you? Ugh, these hallways all looked the same. Your eyes dart around wildly, spotting the familiar Daycare entrance. The faces of golden statues are smiling down at you.

You can’t recall a time where that’s happened to you before. 

Your eyes dart around for some place to hide, landing on a closet. You hear jingling bells in the distance.

You silently pray there aren’t any spiders before shutting yourself inside, leaving the door open just a crack for a sliver of light. 

It’s not a terribly big closet. There’s maybe enough room for you to stand upright. You sit with your knees tucked under your chin, eyes never leaving the door. Just in time. The wire descends and detaches, two feet coming into view. They pad softly on the cold tile, making no noise as he prowls for his prey. 

A shadow in front of the door.

You hold your breath, freezing and throwing a hand over your mouth.

A pause.

His attention is shifted elsewhere. He grumbles and stalks off, leaving you in  the dark. 

You wait maybe thirty seconds for the footsteps to grow silent before exhaling softly and taking stock of your situation. You’re stuck in a broom closet at work and the only other worker here tonight just left. 

Not that Moon would be of any help , you thought bitterly. He just wants you out of the way.

You can’t really blame him for that , though, can you ?

The thought almost sets you off the edge, but you reign yourself in, letting go of a self-deprecating laugh and wiping the tears that form in the corners of your eyes. It doesn’t help. New ones replace them and you let your hands fall back into your lap.

No. No, you couldn’t blame them for it. You invaded their space and made a mess of things. You have a habit of doing that.

That’s why you left, after all. You couldn’t handle messing that up , either.

A shaky sob escapes you, and you press your palms to your eyes to stop the flow of tears trickling down your face. You need this job, you can’t lose it. If you lost it, you’d have no other options. You’d be out of house and home, and then what? Go back with your tail tucked between your legs?

No. You couldn’t go back.

What other choices did you have?

It didn’t matter, anyway. At the end of the day, nothing would change. You were still you, and something always goes wrong no matter what you do. Didn’t matter how hard you tried or how fair it was, it’s always the same.

Sometimes you wonder if everyone would’ve been better off had your brother been an only child.

A soft buzzing in your pocket snaps you out of your episode. You fish your phone out in surprise. That’s right, you’d put it there after this morning.  It vibrates in your hand, the caller ID flashing across the screen. It’s your mother. You stare at it dumbly, making no move to answer it. You’re half tempted to just let it ring till she gives up and drops it as always, but…

You need something to keep the quiet at bay right now.

Swiping to start the call, you hear shuffling over the static and put the speaker close to your ear. A short “hello?” is heard and repeated as she tries to figure out how to use the brick in her hand.

The act is familiar and you manage a watery smile. “Hi, mom.”

“Can you hear m-oh, good, you’re there. Your brother said you messaged him this morning and we just wanted to check in.” Her tone shifts. “You okay there?”

You don’t think you can pull off pretending that you’re fine at the moment. You sniffle into the receiver, curling further in on yourself. “I’m okay, I just…I just had a bad day at work.”

“Oh, sweetheart…”she sighs, and you wince slightly, not really feeling up to whatever questions she has to ask. “You wanna talk about it?”

You shake your head before remembering that you’re on the phone, instead muttering a quiet ‘no’ into the speaker. She stays uncharacteristically silent on the other side of the line, her subtle shifting of the phone the only indicator that she’s still on the call. You know she wants to pry further, force an answer out of you. Sometimes, you almost wish she did, wish she pushed just a bit harder so you could finally break and let it all out.

She doesn’t this time though, puttering out a soft sigh. “Well…alright. Just remember, we’re always here if you need us. Your brother’ll probably check on you anyway, you know how he gets. Just don’t let him burn the building down for your sake.”

A wet snort slips past you before you catch it, imagining your anarchist brother expressing his rage against the machine and corporate capitalism by burning down a rip-off Chuck-E-Cheese. You didn’t think your mother was capable of creating an image like that, either. She hadn’t exactly been very invested in either of your interests. You wonder if she’s been taking pointers from your brother. 

You wave the thoughts aside, realizing you’ve let the conversation taper off and…

You suppose you can let this phone call end on a higher note. You both sort of need it anyway.

“Thanks, mom,” you whisper coarsely, leaning against the stacked boxes and letting your head fall back.

“Of course, dear. You just call us back when you’re ready. Oh, and try to tag along with your brother sometime, it gets lonely without you there. You were much better at listening to his mechanical jargle than we are.”

You exchange a few more quiet answers before wishing her a good night and hanging up, squinting at your brightly lit phone in the dark space. The time reads a little past 10. Moon’s first round of patrols is likely finished, which means it’s finally safe to leave this cramped compartment. 

The door remains shut when you turn the knob.

You try for the handle again, rattling it with greater and greater intensity as your panic begins to build up to no avail. Your hands form fists, soon beginning to bang on the door, eyes wide and breathing erratic. Try as you might, it’s sealed like a tomb, effectively locked inside. 

No, no, no , this can’t be happening, not here, not now. You don’t want to be here, don’t want to be in this dark, cramped closet at the end of some forgotten corridor, stashed with all the boxes and cleaning supplies. 

Your brother had locked you into a closet once. Flipped the switch on the outside and left you alone to battle the demons you couldn’t see. It had been funny, back then, until you started screaming and begging to be let out.

It wasn’t funny now.

You drop to the floor, hands sliding down the wood to lay limply beside you. You can feel yourself shaking, bones rattling as you tremble. Your lungs burn with the force of the rapid inhale-exhale pattern you struggle to keep stable, your heartbeat pounding at the front of your head. Inhale, exhale, thump, thump, inhale, thump -oh, weren’t you supposed to exhale first- thump -and your heart’s not pumping, you can’t breathe, you need to breathe -

You gasp, head reeling, nails digging into your palms and leaving red marks. You struggle to ground yourself, forcing your eyes to focus on the sliver of light from under the doorframe. You inch back, still trembling lightly, staring blankly at the floor as the cold reality dawns on you.

You’re trapped.

No one is here to save you now.

Aaaaand that's a wrap! Hope yall enjoyed that lil chapter, seems like our y/n's gotten into quite a pickle! It's okay, though, they needed some time to process anyways. Speaking of which, Sun and Moon have a LOT to think about... Not sure when I'll post chapter 9, sorry! I have a couple of short snippets planned out already, but typing and connecting them is a whole other matter, so I dunno when I'll get back to this. Until then, however, I hope this is enough, and unfortunately...

The theater is closed...

[sugar-coated-prat-dragon]

Title: Nimueh’s incantation used her blood to reinforce the death bound up in the spell

Episode: "The Poisoned Chalice" questions #1

Questions by @tansyuduri

Tagging: @miyriu

Books used for reference: Potions and Poison, The Poisoned Chalice, and Merlin Heroes Guide

Question: One of my friends mentioned the possibility that the spell used by Nimueh draws its power from the Spear-Danes (which is the semi pagan culture featured in Beowulf)?

The first lines of the spell also seem to be Nimueh saying she owes her magic to the Spear Danes?

My answer: I ran Nimueh’s incantations through a translator app and it couldn’t recognize the language. So as far as the whole Beowulf-thing goes. I have no comment.

However, what the books do say is that Nimueh’s incantation required her blood to be added to magic and it darkened the yellow tinted flower with a faint bloodstain.

The drip if her own blood was used to reinforce the death bound up in the spell.

Book description:

So Nimueh held onto the tiny stab of pain in her finger, where she had pricked it with a needle, for some measure of that sting would be going into the magic along with her blood. There was venom in her words as she sent them echoing around her cavern.

- Delicately, between two fingers, she picked up the flower that lay on the rim of the basin. Her pricked finger enriched the yellow of the petals with a faint bloodstain.

The minutest drop of her own life, to reinforce the death bound up in the spell. The devil truly was in the detail.

Nimueh plucked the single stained petal and dropped it into the water. It floated on the surface like the frailest of boats.

Question: Does Mercia previously being at war have anything to do with Uther having not having inherited, but rather taking over the kingdom?

My answer: The books don’t say what started the war between Mercia and Camelot, only that the war has lasted “many years.”

Gaius mentions that “it has been many a year since the people of Mercia were seen so close to Camelot's walls” and made it clear that in the past their presence alone would have been an act of war.

On the other hand, the king saying, “today marks an end to the war and the beginning of a new friendship between our people”, implies that they weren’t always enemies.

Book description:

Of course, Nimueh had known about this all along. In her scrying bowl she had watched the messengers riding back and forth between Uther and Bayard, agreeing the terms of a treaty - for the kingdoms of Camelot and Mercia had been fighting for many years. She had decided that being part of the Mercian court would be the perfect way to get close to Uther without anyone suspecting a thing - because every eye would be on Bayard, not his servants.

- 'The Knights of Mercia,' said Gaius, gesturing at the impressive sight with a nod. 'It has been many a year since so many were seen so close to Camelot's walls. In the past,' he added gravely, 'their presence alone would have been an act of war.'

Merlin took in the numbers of troops and the supporting wagons. It looked like an army to him. 'And what is it today?'

*Peace, Merlin. An act of peace. Or at least, we hope, a beginning.'

- 'People of Camelot. ' Bayard began.

'For a great many years we have been mortal enemies. The blood of our men stains the ground from the walls of Camelot to the gates of Mercia.' The Mercian lord strode between the tables, commanding centre stage.

'And though we remember those who have died, we mustn't allow any more to join them.'

- "You killed a lot of my men, many of them friends,' Uther replied.

This was about more than history and armies. This was personal.

'As were the soldiers I lost,' retorted Bayard.

Peace might have ended right there and then. Instead, Uther steeled himself and held out his hand, almost defying his guest to refuse it.

'Which is why the fighting has to stop,' he declared.

'The treaty we sign today marks an end to the war and the beginning of a new friendship between our people.'

Question: Uther: “The treaty we sign today marks an end to war and the beginning of a new friendship between our peoples”

I think Uther as a peacemaker is interesting. It might be why some people view him as "A good king”?

My answer: I think it’s interesting that Uther is the one to pointedly interject the banquet speech with a mention of, “And to fallen warriors on both sides.”

Because Uther previously mentioned Bayard’s soldiers having killed many of his men, many of whom he considered friends.

Uther was also the one to steel himself during their first introduction and hold out his hand, almost defying his guest to refuse it, because he reminded his enemy that the “fighting has to stop.”

So his knights might be grateful for his support, but when it comes to magic, he puts everyone in danger by seeking revenge for something he himself is responsible for causing.

Book description:

'The Lady Morgana... added Bayard, continuing his toast. 'The people of Camelot.'

Finally. Brilliant. Arthur raised the goblet again.

But the heady alcohol fumes had barely made it to his nose before his father butted in with another toast:

'And to fallen warriors on both sides.'

Bayard inclined his head in a mute bow.

Of course, thought Arthur, it was important to acknowledge the past. But the numbers of honoured dead would be nothing to those who fell at the table tonight if this kept up. He held his goblet poised in anticipation of further interruptions. But the quiet stretched, unimpeded, into a whole moment and no more toasts seemed forthcoming.

- "You killed a lot of my men, many of them friends,' Uther replied.

This was about more than history and armies. This was personal.

'As were the soldiers I lost,' retorted Bayard.

Peace might have ended right there and then. Instead, Uther steeled himself and held out his hand, almost defying his guest to refuse it.

'Which is why the fighting has to stop,' he declared.

'The treaty we sign today marks an end to the war and the beginning of a new friendship between our people.'

- AN UNUSUAL HERO

Uther a hero? Not many people would agree. He has sanctioned the deaths of hundreds of people, many of whom were innocent.

THE GREATER GOOD

It is important to remember that Uther genuinely thinks a war on magic is the best thing for his people. He believes magic is a destructive and corrupting force; by banning it he is trying to keep his kingdom peaceful and prosperous.

Uther might not be an out-and-out villain but his often violent and hard-hearted behaviour stems from guilt and fear, which don't make him seem very heroic.

Uther's hatred of sorcery is caused by grief over the loss of his wife, Y graine, and from an awareness that it was his own one-time involvement with magic that brought about her death.

Question: Arthur: “'Merlin, you idiot. Have you been at the sloe gin again?”

Sloe gin is a type of alcohol made with juniper berries and blackthorn fruits. Typically brewed during winter. ❄️

As a prince perhaps the drink is available to him year round if he wants it and he doesn't know that is not true of most people.

The second is he is so panicked at the prospect of the trouble Merlin that his mind latched on to the first drink that popped into it?

My answer:

The book describes Arthur’s response as “he slapped a hand on Merlin's shoulder as if he were an old drinking buddy” and then mentioning the sloe gin comment.

Which implies to me that Arthur was trying to make light of Merlin’s accusation and keep him out of trouble.

Uther not appearing to appreciate Arthur's attempts to jolly things along. Only furthers that assumption.

Book description:

Stepping up, he slapped a hand on Merlin's shoulder as if he were an old drinking buddy and guided him closer to the king's table. 'Merlin, you idiot. Have you been at the sloe gin again?'

Uther didn't appear to appreciate Arthur's attempts to jolly things along. Merlin did his best not to shrink from his withering glare. 'Unless you want to be strung up, you'll tell me why you think it's poisoned,' the king warned severely.