#classical music make me draw this
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cimolibur · 1 month ago
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Cry-ing
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alena-draws · 2 years ago
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~~
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firestorm09890 · 6 months ago
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before the realization fully set in that Naminé is being forced to work for the worst people ever she would show the Castle Oblivion crew her drawings and one time she draws them all as cats but like in that deviantart sparklecat way, yknow? and Larxene says something horribly mean and Marluxia says something weird but then Axel sees and is like "lol. you should show Zexion this he'll get a kick out of it" and Naminé goes "!!!!!!" and rushes over to show him but Zexion looks at his cat with the bangs and everything and says "I would not look like this as a cat."
"huh"
and then he pulls out a piece of charcoal and sketches a realistic cat which just looks like it came out of a research journal with the only really distinguishing feature being the shading on the cat and Naminé thinks he's just fucking with her like the others like to all the time but he's dead serious about this being his catsona
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runefactorynonsense · 7 months ago
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Melotober - Day 18 - Vintage
The music was simply made for older instruments!
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the-alan-price-combo · 5 months ago
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The Animals in Paris, France - December 1964 🐾💜✨️
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akkivee · 4 months ago
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i’ve been trying to get my room in a state that doesn’t scream ‘damn btch you live like this?? 😭😭’ and as i was restacking some books, i came across this box set i honestly forgot i even purchased lol
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somegrumpynerd · 1 year ago
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Okay I have all the nightmares storyboarded (kinda) so I am officially taking a break for the night, the poll seems pretty set that it's gonna be Dust next
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mythology-void · 1 year ago
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reaffirming the idea that yes, I can do anything. and everything. perhaps even all at the same time
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milkwands · 3 months ago
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i dont know what to say
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jadenvargen · 1 year ago
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free online james baldwin stories, essays, videos, and other resources
**edit
James baldwin online archive with his articles and photo archives.
---NOVELS---
Giovanni's room"When David meets the sensual Giovanni in a bohemian bar, he is swept into a passionate love affair. But his girlfriend's return to Paris destroys everything. Unable to admit to the truth, David pretends the liaison never happened - while Giovanni's life descends into tragedy. This book introduces love's fascinating possibilities and extremities."
Go Tell It On The Mountain"(...)Baldwin's first major work, a semi-autobiographical novel that has established itself as an American classic. With lyrical precision, psychological directness, resonating symbolic power, and a rage that is at once unrelenting and compassionate, Baldwin chronicles a fourteen-year-old boy's discovery of the terms of his identity as the stepson of the minister of a storefront Pentecostal church in Harlem one Saturday in March of 1935. Baldwin's rendering of his protagonist's spiritual, sexual, and moral struggle of self-invention opened new possibilities in the American language and in the way Americans understand themselves."
+bonus: film adaptation on youtube. (if you’re a giancarlo esposito fan, you’ll be delighted to see him in an early preacher role)
Another Country and Going to Meet the Man Another country: "James Baldwin's masterly story of desire, hatred and violence opens with the unforgettable character of Rufus Scott, a scavenging Harlem jazz musician adrift in New York. Self-destructive, bad and brilliant, he draws us into a Bohemian underworld pulsing with heat, music and sex, where desperate and dangerous characters betray, love and test each other to the limit." Going to meet the Man: " collection of eight short stories by American writer James Baldwin. The book, dedicated "for Beauford Delaney", covers many topics related to anti-Black racism in American society, as well as African-American–Jewish relations, childhood, the creative process, criminal justice, drug addiction, family relationships, jazz, lynching, sexuality, and white supremacy."
Just Above My Head"Here, in a monumental saga of love and rage, Baldwin goes back to Harlem, to the church of his groundbreaking novel Go Tell It on the Mountain, to the homosexual passion of Giovanni's Room, and to the political fire that enflames his nonfiction work. Here, too, the story of gospel singer Arthur Hall and his family becomes both a journey into another country of the soul and senses--and a living contemporary history of black struggle in this land."
If Beale Street Could Talk"Told through the eyes of Tish, a nineteen-year-old girl, in love with Fonny, a young sculptor who is the father of her child, Baldwin's story mixes the sweet and the sad. Tish and Fonny have pledged to get married, but Fonny is falsely accused of a terrible crime and imprisoned. Their families set out to clear his name, and as they face an uncertain future, the young lovers experience a kaleidoscope of emotions-affection, despair, and hope. In a love story that evokes the blues, where passion and sadness are inevitably intertwined, Baldwin has created two characters so alive and profoundly realized that they are unforgettably ingrained in the American psyche."
also has a film adaptation by moonlight's barry jenkins
Tell Me How Long the Train's been gone At the height of his theatrical career, the actor Leo Proudhammer is nearly felled by a heart attack. As he hovers between life and death, Baldwin shows the choices that have made him enviably famous and terrifyingly vulnerable. For between Leo's childhood on the streets of Harlem and his arrival into the intoxicating world of the theater lies a wilderness of desire and loss, shame and rage. An adored older brother vanishes into prison. There are love affairs with a white woman and a younger black man, each of whom will make irresistible claims on Leo's loyalty. 
---ESSAYS---
Baldwin essay collection. Including most famously: notes of a native son, nobody knows my name, the fire next time, no name in the street, the devil finds work- baldwin on film
--DOCUMENTARIES--
Take this hammer, a tour of san Francisco.
Meeting the man
--DEBATES:--
Debate with Malcolm x, 1963 ( on integration, the nation of islam, and other topics. )
Debate with William Buckley, 1965. ( historic debate in america. )
Heavily moderated debate with Malcolm x, Charles Eric Lincoln, and Samuel Schyle 1961. (Primarily Malcolm X's debate on behalf of the nation of islam, with Baldwin giving occassional inputs.)
----
apart from themes obvious in the book's descriptions, a general heads up for themes of incest and sexual assault throughout his works.
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oldsoul007 · 4 months ago
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wicked game
older!joel miller x younger!reader
summary: A magnetic, off-limits fling between you and your rugged, older neighbor Joel turns into something deeper as you both struggle with unspoken feelings, stolen moments, and the weight of reality.
a/n: 20 year age gap, wholesome, fluff, suggestive scenes
joel miller masterlist
I stepped out of the house into the crisp morning air, my purse slung over my shoulder and a mental checklist of errands already playing on repeat in my head. The sun was still low enough to cast a soft, golden light over the neighborhood, making everything feel calm and picturesque. I was halfway down my front steps when a familiar melody stopped me in my tracks.
“The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you…”
I froze, my fingers tightening on the strap of my bag. Wicked Game. That song always hit me in the chest, like a gentle nudge from the past, stirring emotions I didn’t even know I was still carrying. But it wasn’t just the music that caught my attention. Across the street, someone was working on a car, and it was hard not to notice him.
He had his back to me, bent over the open hood, his hands moving with practiced ease. He wore a faded flannel with the sleeves rolled up, revealing forearms that were strong and dusted with just the right amount of hair. His salt-and-pepper hair looked perfectly unkempt, like it belonged to someone who didn’t care too much but somehow always pulled off the look.
I told myself not to stare. I really did. But the way the golden light caught the broad lines of his shoulders, the subtle flex of his muscles as he worked… it was impossible to look away.
The song drifted through the air like it was soundtracking the whole moment, making it feel too cinematic to be real. I shifted awkwardly, my steps faltering. Just then, as if he could sense my presence, he straightened, wiping his hands on a grease-smudged rag.
When he turned and his eyes met mine, my breath hitched. His gaze was dark and intense, cutting through the cool morning air like a warm breeze. He had a rugged, weathered face—handsome in the way only experience and age could make someone. His stubble was a little thicker than a five o’clock shadow, and his mouth curved into a crooked smile, like he knew exactly why I’d stopped.
“Morning,” he said, his voice deep and gravelly, sending a flutter through my chest.
“Morning,” I replied, my voice higher than I intended, betraying just how off guard I felt.
He nodded toward the car, his smile widening slightly. “Sorry about the noise,” he said, his tone casual, like we’d done this a hundred times before. “Didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“Oh, no, it’s fine,” I said quickly, hoping I didn’t sound too eager. “I like the song.”
He cocked his head slightly, like he was trying to gauge if I was just being polite or if I really meant it. “Chris Isaak, huh?” His smile deepened, a flicker of something playful crossing his face. “Not bad.”
“Yeah,” I said, forcing myself to sound normal even though my pulse was anything but. “Classic.”
He stepped closer, just enough that I could see the grease on his hands and the faint lines around his eyes that only made him more attractive. He held out a hand, grease and all. “I’m Joel,” he said, his voice warm and unhurried.
I hesitated for half a second before shaking his hand. His grip was firm, his skin rough, and somehow it felt more grounding than intimidating. “Y/n,” I said, trying not to notice the way my cheeks flushed under his gaze.
“Well, y/n,” he said, drawing back and tossing the rag onto the hood of the car, “nice to meet a neighbor who appreciates good music. I hope to see you around.”
I nodded, managing a small smile before turning away, though I could still feel his eyes on me as I walked down the sidewalk. The music faded into the background as I moved farther away, but the moment stayed with me, warm and lingering, like sunlight clinging to my skin.
As I reached the corner, I realized I hadn’t checked my list once. And suddenly, I wasn’t in such a rush to finish my errands after all.
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It started out small, almost imperceptible. The first few times I saw Joel, it was nothing more than a casual glance—him working on his car, me watering my plants. He’d nod, give me a polite, “Morning,” or “Evenin’,” and I’d nod back, my stomach fluttering for no good reason.
At first, I chalked it up to curiosity. He was new to the neighborhood, and Joel wasn’t the kind of guy you didn’t notice. Broad-shouldered and quiet, with those deep brown eyes that always seemed to carry a weight he didn’t talk about, he exuded a ruggedness that felt out of place on our quiet little street.
But the more I saw him, the harder it became to ignore the way my eyes lingered. Whether he was fixing something in his garage, leaning over that damn car of his, or sitting on his porch with a beer in hand, I couldn’t help but watch him. And sometimes—more often than I expected—I’d catch him watching me too.
It wasn’t obvious, not at first. A glance held a second too long. A shift in his posture when I walked by. But over time, it became undeniable. The way his eyes would follow me when I stepped out to water the flowers, or the way I’d find excuses to linger outside just a little longer, hoping for a moment to cross paths with him.
One evening, as I was locking up my car, I felt his gaze on me. I turned, and sure enough, he was standing by his car, a rag in his hands, watching me. His expression wasn’t overtly flirty—if anything, it was unreadable—but the intensity of his gaze sent a shiver down my spine.
I gave him a small wave, trying to act casual, and he nodded, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smile.
After that, it felt like every time I stepped outside, he was there. Fixing something, tinkering with his car, or just mowing the lawn. I’d try not to stare, but it was a losing battle. And every time I caught him looking back, it felt like a silent conversation was happening between us, one neither of us dared to speak aloud.
It was subtle, this dance we were doing, but it was there—undeniable, electric. And it was only a matter of time before one of us made a move.
It was a Friday night when everything shifted. I was sitting on my front steps with a beer, the summer air warm and heavy, when I noticed Joel crossing the street toward me. He had a toolbox in one hand and a look of determination on his face.
“Your porch light’s out,” he said as he stopped in front of me, nodding toward the darkened bulb above my door. “Figured I’d come fix it before you trip over somethin’ out here.”
I blinked at him, momentarily caught off guard, then glanced at the light. “Oh, I didn’t even notice. But you don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he interrupted, his voice firm but kind. He set the toolbox down and looked at me, his lips curving into a small, easy smile. “Unless you’re gonna send me packin’.”
I shook my head, smiling back. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Want a drink while you play handyman?”
He chuckled, low and deep. “Sure, why not?”
Two cold beers were clutched in my hands, the bottles slick with condensation, and by the time I returned, he’d already swapped the old bulb for a new one. The soft glow illuminated his face as he turned to me, brushing his hands off on his jeans.
“All done,” he said, taking the bottle I offered. “You’re safe now.”
“Guess I owe you one,” I teased, sitting on the step.
“Nah,” he replied, settling next to me. “I like keepin’ busy.”
I didn’t know when it had started, this thing between us. It wasn’t outright flirting—not yet—but there was a magnetism to Joel that made it impossible not to feel drawn in. He was older, quieter, but there was something about the way he carried himself, steady and unshakable, that made me feel safe. And curious.
“So,” I started, swirling my beer, “you’ve been here, what, a few weeks now?”
“’Bout a month,” he replied, leaning back on the step with that relaxed, effortless posture that always seemed to belong to him.
“And I still don’t know much about you,” I said, giving him a small smile.
He glanced over at me, his eyes catching the soft glow of the porch light. “What d’you wanna know?”
I hesitated, not wanting to pry too much, but the words tumbled out before I could stop them. “I don’t know… why’d you move here? What’s your story?”
Joel’s lips quirked into a faint smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He took a sip of his beer, staring out at the darkened street before answering.
“Well, I’m divorced,” he said simply, his voice low and even, like he’d said it a hundred times before.
I blinked, caught off guard by how casually he said it. “Oh,” I said softly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine,” he interrupted gently, turning to look at me. “Trust me, best decision of my life and it was a long time ago. Been on my own for… hell, must be close to fifteen years now.”
Fifteen years. I tried to imagine what that would feel like—building a life with someone only for it to fall apart, then starting over again. Joel didn’t seem bitter about it, though. Just… resolved.
“Do you have kids?” I asked, leaning forward slightly, unable to hide my curiosity.
His face softened at that, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah. Two girls.”
“Really?” I asked, my eyebrows lifting.
He nodded, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of pride in his expression. “Sarah’s the older one. She’s in med school. Ellie’s still in undergrad—astromony major. Both of ’em are smarter than I’ll ever be.”
The way he talked about them made my chest tighten, like he was letting me see a piece of himself he didn’t share often. There was so much warmth in his voice when he said their names, like they were the best parts of his life.
“You must be so proud,” I said softly.
“More than you could know,” he replied, his voice quiet.
I smiled, leaning back against the porch railing. “So, two daughters, huh? That explains a lot.”
Joel’s brow furrowed slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just… you have that dad energy,” I teased, grinning at him.
“Dad energy?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow.
“You know,” I said, gesturing vaguely. “The whole rugged, protective, slightly grumpy thing. It fits.”
He laughed at that, a low, rumbling sound that made my stomach flutter. “Grumpy, huh?”
I shrugged, my grin widening. “If the shoe fits.”
Joel shook his head, still chuckling as he took another sip of his beer. But there was something in his expression—something lighter, more open—that made me feel like I’d broken through a wall I hadn’t even known was there.
And as we sat there in the quiet of the night, our conversation drifting back to safer, lighter topics, I couldn’t help but wonder how someone like Joel, with all his layers and contradictions, had ended up here—just across the street from me.
And why I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
We talked for hours—about everything and nothing. He told me about his work, about his daughters, Sarah, and Ellie and the things he used to do before life got complicated. I told him about my job, my friends, and the reasons I’d moved here.
At some point, the conversation drifted into quieter territory. The night was still, the air thick with something unspoken. Joel leaned back against the railing, his arm brushing mine, and I felt my pulse quicken.
“You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” he said softly, his voice low and rough.
I turned to look at him, my heart thudding in my chest. His eyes were on mine, dark and intense, the space between us feeling smaller than it should have.
“Joel…” I started, but before I could finish, he leaned in.
It wasn’t rushed or tentative—it was deliberate. His lips met mine, firm and warm, and I forgot how to breathe. My glass slipped from my hand, forgotten, as I leaned into him, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.
His hands found my waist, pulling me closer, and I let myself sink into the kiss, into him. He tasted like beer and something darker, something that made my head spin. When we finally broke apart, his forehead rested against mine, both of us breathing heavily.
“Y/n,” he murmured, his voice husky and raw, “tell me to stop if this ain’t what you want.”
I shook my head, my fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “I don’t want you to stop.”
That was all it took. He pulled me into his lap, his hands roaming up my back as our lips met again, hungrier this time. My mind was a blur of heat and sensation as his touch ignited something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Somehow, we ended up inside my house, the door clicking shut behind us. I barely had time to take in my surroundings before his lips were on mine again, his hands pulling at my shirt as I fumbled with the buttons on his.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he muttered against my skin, his voice thick with want.
We stumbled into my bedroom, clothes disappearing in a flurry of hands and whispered words.
When we finally came together, it was everything—tender and passionate, slow and consuming. He held me like I was the only thing that mattered, his touch reverent but possessive.
Afterward, we lay tangled in my sheets, the room dark and quiet except for the sound of our breathing. His arm was draped over me, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on my skin.
“I shouldn’t have waited so long,” he murmured, his voice soft and low.
I smiled, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "It was worth the wait."
And as I drifted off to sleep in his arms, I couldn't help but feel like something had shifted. Like maybe, just maybe, l'd found something-or someone-I wasn't ready to let go of.
What began as stolen moments quickly intensified. Some nights, I’d hear the rumble of his car pulling into the driveway and find myself slipping into something casual yet enticing. He’d knock softly on my door, and I’d let him in without a word, his hands finding my waist almost immediately.
Other times, Joel would invite me over under the pretense of needing help with something—though neither of us was fooled. We’d end up tangled together on his couch, my fingers threading through his hair as his lips traced the curve of my neck.
It was never more than the two of us sharing our time and bodies, but it worked. Joel was guarded, reluctant to open up about his past, and I respected that. I didn’t ask for more than he could give, content with the way he made me feel in the moment—desired, cherished, even if only temporarily.
And Joel? He couldn’t seem to stay away. There was something about him—the way he laughed, the way he didn’t push me to be more than I was ready to be. It felt easy, natural.
But as effortless as it seemed, there were nights when he lingered a little longer, his fingers brushing my skin softly as if memorizing me. And there were mornings when I woke to find him still there, his arm draped over my waist, his breathing steady in the early light.
We both knew it was a fling, but neither of us could deny the way it was starting to feel like something more.
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After that first time, it became a rhythm. A pattern.
It was never planned, not really. Joel and I never talked about what we were doing or set expectations. But somehow, it kept happening.
A knock on my door late at night. A quiet, unspoken agreement in the way his eyes lingered on mine, the way his hand would find my waist as soon as the door closed behind him.
Sometimes it was me crossing the street, catching him in his garage working on that car of his. The way he'd straighten up, wiping his hands on a rag and giving me that slow, crooked smile-it made my chest tighten every time.
"You need somethin'?" he'd ask, his tone easy, casual, but his eyes told a different story.
"Always," I'd reply, tilting my head, my lips already curving into a smile.
It was always like that. Quiet. Unrushed. No promises.
It wasn't every night, but it was often enough that it started to feel like a routine.
The nights with Joel were magnetic, impossible to resist.
Sometimes it started slow, like a smoldering fire. He’d show up at my door, leaning against the frame, his dark eyes holding mine like he knew exactly what I was thinking. I’d step aside to let him in, the faint scent of leather and soap drifting past as he walked by. He wouldn’t say much—he never did—but the way he looked at me, the way his gaze lingered on my lips, said everything.
The door would barely click shut before his hands found my waist, pulling me to him with a quiet urgency. His lips would capture mine, firm and deliberate, his calloused hands sliding under the hem of my shirt, fingers rough against my skin.
He kissed like he didn’t know when he’d get the chance again, his lips devouring mine with a hunger that left me breathless. My back would hit the wall, and he’d pin me there, his body pressed against mine, warm and solid, making it impossible to think about anything but him.
Other times, it wasn’t so rushed.
I’d wander across the street under the cover of darkness, my heart pounding even though we’d done this so many times before. I’d find him in the garage, his hands deep in some repair, grease smudged across his arms. He’d glance up when I walked in, his expression softening into that crooked, lazy smile that made my stomach twist.
“You work too much,” I’d tease, leaning against the workbench as he wiped his hands on a rag.
Joel would smirk, tossing the rag aside before closing the distance between us. “And you think I should take a break?”
“Maybe,” I’d reply, my voice lighter than I felt.
And then his hands would slide around my waist, pulling me flush against him. He’d kiss me slow, like we had all the time in the world, his lips soft but insistent, teasing me until I was gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.
When his hands roamed lower, gripping my thighs, he’d lift me effortlessly onto the workbench, stepping between my legs, his body fitting perfectly against mine. His kisses would grow deeper, more possessive, until I was arching into him, the tools and the world around us forgotten.
The nights he stayed over were different.
He’d let himself into my house, the quiet creak of the door waking me, and I’d turn to see him standing there, his hair messy from the ride, his flannel hanging loose over a plain shirt.
“You’re late,” I’d whisper, pretending to be annoyed, but the grin pulling at my lips gave me away.
Joel would shrug, his voice low and gravelly. “Had to finish somethin’. But I’m here now.”
And then he’d crawl into bed beside me, his hand trailing over my hip, pulling me close. His lips would skim the side of my neck, soft and deliberate, his breath warm against my skin. It always started gentle on those nights, his hands slow as they explored me, his touch careful, like he wanted to memorize every inch of me.
I’d lose myself in the way his mouth moved against mine, the way he murmured my name like it was a prayer. The room would fill with the sound of our breaths, the quiet creak of the bed as he pressed me into the mattress, his weight grounding me in the moment.
It wasn’t just the way he touched me or the way he made my body hum with anticipation—it was the way he made me feel seen. Like I wasn’t just someone he wanted for the night but someone he couldn't seem to stay away from, no matter how hard he tried.
And as much as I wanted to keep pretending it was nothing, that it was just two people finding comfort in each other, I couldn't deny the way he was starting to feel like more.
The morning light filtered through the curtains, soft and golden, as I stretched under the covers. Joel was already up, sitting on the edge of the bed with his boots half on, the laces dangling as he reached down to tie them.
I watched him quietly for a moment, taking in the way his shoulders hunched slightly, the way his hair was still a little messy from the night before. He must have felt my gaze because he turned, his eyes meeting mine, and his lips quirked into that crooked smile that never failed to disarm me.
“You’re up early,” he said, his voice low and rough from sleep.
“Could say the same about you,” I replied, my voice soft as I sat up, pulling the sheet around me.
Joel shook his head, finishing his boots before standing. “Got a lot to do today.”
I hated this part—the goodbye. Even though I knew he’d be back, it always felt like the space between us stretched further than it should.
Joel must have noticed the flicker of disappointment in my face because he crossed the room in just a few steps, his presence warm and solid as he stood in front of me.
“Hey,” he murmured, his hand brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light, though my chest tightened.
He didn’t answer, not with words. Instead, he leaned down, his lips brushing mine in a kiss that was softer than I expected. It wasn’t rushed or desperate—it was deliberate, slow, like he wanted to make every second count.
Then, without a word, he shifted lower, his lips finding the curve of my jaw. He kissed a line down my neck, lingering there for a moment as his hands slid to my waist, holding me gently.
“Joel,” I whispered, my voice catching as he continued his path, his mouth pressing soft, warm kisses across my collarbone, then down my arm.
When he reached my wrist, he paused, turning my hand over to press a kiss to my palm, then to the tips of my fingers.
It wasn’t just physical—it felt like something more. Like he was trying to say something he couldn’t put into words.
When he finally straightened, his dark eyes met mine, and I felt like he could see straight through me. “I’ll see you later,” he said, his voice rough but steady.
I nodded, my throat tight as I watched him grab his jacket and head for the door. He paused in the doorway, glancing back at me one more time before he left, and I couldn’t help but smile.
Joel didn’t have to say goodbye like that—but he did. And it was those little things, those quiet moments that told me more than any words ever could.
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My mom called me three times that morning to remind me about dinner, as if I’d forgotten the weekly ritual of overcooked chicken and her latest gossip updates. By the time I pulled into my parents’ driveway, the sun was setting, casting a soft orange glow over the neighborhood. I smoothed down my dress, grabbed the bottle of wine I’d brought, and headed inside.
“Y/n! You’re just in time,” my mom called from the kitchen, her voice bright and cheerful. The smell of rosemary and garlic wafted through the air.
“Hey, Mom,” I called back, setting the wine on the counter.
I could hear my dad laughing with someone in the dining room, his deep voice carrying through the house. A guest, maybe? Mom hadn’t mentioned anyone else joining us.
I walked into the dining room, my casual smile freezing on my face when I saw him.
Joel.
He was standing next to my dad, holding a beer, his flannel rolled up at the sleeves like always. He turned at the sound of my footsteps, and for a split second, I saw the same shock mirrored in his eyes before he quickly masked it.
“Y/n!” My dad grinned, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “This is Joel, my buddy from the hardware store. We got to talking the other day, and I figured I’d invite him over. Thought you two might’ve crossed paths in the neighborhood!”
Joel’s lips curved into a polite smile, but I could see the tension in his jaw. “Good to meet you, y/n,” he said, his voice perfectly even, his hand extended.
I stared at him for a second too long before snapping out of it and shaking his hand. His touch lingered for just a moment, his thumb brushing against mine in a way that made my stomach twist.
“Nice to meet you,” I managed, forcing a polite smile, my voice tighter than I intended.
“Joel just moved in a few weeks ago,” my dad continued, oblivious to the storm brewing between us. “Seems like a good guy. Figured we’d make him feel welcome.”
“Oh, he’s definitely that,” I said, my tone a little sharper than I meant. Joel raised an eyebrow at me, but he didn’t say a word.
Dinner was a blur of awkward silences and stolen glances. Joel was calm and collected, answering my parents’ questions with ease, like he hadn’t been in my bed less than 24 hours ago. I, on the other hand, felt like I was about to combust.
“Mom,” I said sharply, nearly choking on my wine. My face burned as I glanced at Joel, who was watching me with an infuriatingly calm expression.
“Oh, come on,” she said with a laugh, waving a hand. “I’m just joking! But seriously, sweetie, you’ve had…what? A handful of boyfriends?”
“More than a handful,” my dad chimed in with a chuckle. “You’d think we were running a speed-dating service out of the house at one point.”
I wanted the floor to swallow me whole. “Okay, that’s enough,” I said quickly, forcing a tight smile as I stared daggers at my parents. “We don’t need to go down memory lane right now.”
“Oh, lighten up, y/n,” my mom teased, clearly oblivious to the tension in the room.
I dared a glance at Joel, expecting him to look awkward or uncomfortable. Instead, he was hiding a smirk, his dark eyes glinting with amusement. I shot him a glare, silently daring him to say anything, but he just shrugged innocently.
Dinner couldn’t end fast enough.
When my mom asked me to grab dessert from the kitchen, I jumped at the excuse to escape. But as I reached for the pie on the counter, I heard footsteps behind me.
“Y/n.”
I turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression somewhere between amused and exasperated.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I hissed, keeping my voice low.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he shot back, leaning against the doorframe like he had all the time in the world.
“This is my parents’ house, Joel. What are you doing here?”
“Your dad invited me,” he said simply, his dark eyes scanning my face. “Didn’t think it’d be a problem.”
“A problem?” I repeated, my voice rising slightly before I forced it back down. “You didn’t think to maybe mention that you’re best buddies with my dad?”
“Didn’t know it was your dad,” he said, his voice low and steady, though there was a flicker of something like amusement in his eyes. “Until I walked in and saw you.”
I stared at him, my cheeks burning. “So what, we just pretend we don’t know each other?”
“Seems like the best option,” he said, his lips twitching into the faintest smirk. “Unless you wanna tell your parents the whole story.”
I glared at him, hating how calm he was. “This isn’t funny, Joel.”
“Never said it was,” he said, stepping closer, his voice softening. “But you’re the one who’s gotta decide how to handle it.”
Before I could respond, my mom’s voice called out from the dining room. “Y/n! Everything okay in there?”
I swallowed hard, grabbing the pie and pushing past him. “This isn’t over,” I muttered under my breath.
“Looking forward to it,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing as I brushed past him.
As I walked back into the dining room, my face carefully neutral, I couldn’t help but glance over my shoulder. Joel followed a moment later, cool and composed, like nothing had happened.
But when our eyes met across the table, I knew this was only the beginning of a much more complicated mess.
Later, after we’d finished and everyone was saying their goodbyes, Joel and I stepped out into the warm night air together. My parents stood at the door, still chatting about something, so Joel and I started walking toward our cars, the silence between us heavy.
Once we were far enough away, Joel glanced at me, his voice low and teasing. “So… how many guys?”
I stopped in my tracks, my mouth dropping open. “Excuse me?”
He turned to face me, a lopsided grin on his face, the kind that made my stomach flip no matter how annoyed I was. “Your mom brought it up,” he said, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. “I’m just curious.”
I crossed my arms, glaring at him. “I am not answering that.”
“Why not?” His grin widened. “You embarrassed or something?”
“No,” I shot back, even though my face was practically on fire. “It’s just none of your business.”
Joel chuckled, stepping closer. “Fair enough. But if you’re not telling, then I guess it’s only fair you ask me.”
“Oh, really?” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Fine. How many women have you been with?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Two.”
I blinked. “Two?”
“Yeah,” he said casually, slipping his hands into his pockets.
I stared at him, completely baffled. “Two? That’s it?”
Joel’s brow furrowed slightly, as if he didn’t understand why I was so surprised. “Yeah. Why’s that so hard to believe?”
I laughed, the sound escaping before I could stop it. “Joel, have they seen you? You look like that, and you’re telling me only two women?”
He smirked, leaning slightly closer. “What can I say? I’ve always been a quality over quantity kinda guy.”
The way he said it, his voice low and laced with humor, sent a shiver down my spine. I quickly looked away, trying to collect myself.
“Well,” I muttered, still trying to process his answer. “I guess that makes you… selective.”
“You could say that,” he said, his smirk softening into something warmer, something that made my chest tighten.
I shook my head, refusing to let him get the upper hand in this conversation. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
He chuckled. “And you’re dodgin’ the question. But I’ll let it slide… for now.”
As we reached our cars, I could still feel the heat of his gaze on me, that teasing smile lingering on his lips. And as much as I hated to admit it, I knew I’d be thinking about this conversation long after he drove away.
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The air was thick with the lingering heat of the day as I stepped onto my porch that night, a glass of wine in hand, hoping the cool breeze would clear my head. Running into Joel at my parents' house earlier had thrown me. I hadn't expected to see him there, standing in their kitchen like he belonged, casually sipping a beer while talking to my dad like they were old friends.
It had been almost too much-the way his eyes found mine across the room, the flicker of something unreadable passing over his face.
The way my mother had smiled, oblivious, as she chatted away, completely unaware of the tension humming between us.
I had barely spoken to him then, just a brief exchange, a nod, a polite smile. But it had been enough.
Now, as I sat in the quiet of my porch, the cicadas buzzing in the trees, I heard it-the unmistakable rumble of his truck pulling into his driveway.
I should've looked away, should've ignored the way my pulse jumped at the sound. But I didn't.
Instead, I watched as he stepped out, his movements slow, deliberate. He didn't go inside. He stood there for a second, hands on his hips, looking over at me like he was debating something.
Then, without hesitation, he crossed the street.
I didn't move, didn't say anything as he walked up the steps, stopping just in front of me. His eyes searched mine, and for a moment, neither of us spoke.
"You left fast earlier," he said, his voice low, rough.
I swallowed, gripping my glass a little tighter.
"Didn't expect to see you there."
"Yeah, well," he exhaled, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Didn't expect to see you either."
There was something else in his voice, something unspoken.
A question. A challenge.
I should've told him to go home. That whatever this thing between us was, it didn't need to spill over into the rest of my life. But I didn't.
Instead, I stood, stepping closer, letting the space between us disappear. His gaze dropped to my lips, and that was all it took.
Joel reached for me, his hands firm but careful as he pulled me to him, his lips crashing into mine like he'd been holding back all damn day.
I sighed against his mouth, my fingers gripping the front of his shirt, anchoring myself as his hands slid to my hips, pressing me flush against him.
The kiss was different tonight-deeper, more desperate, like the sight of me earlier had unraveled something in him. He groaned softly when I tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck, his hands gripping tighter as he walked me backward, until my back hit the wall beside the front door.
"Joel," I murmured against his lips, my voice barely there, but he didn't stop. Didn't pull away.
"Mm?" He hummed, his lips trailing down my jaw, my throat, his hands slipping under the hem of my shirt, fingers warm and rough against my skin.
I shivered, tilting my head to give him more, to let him take whatever he wanted, because God, I wanted this, wanted him.
"We should go inside," I whispered, barely recognizing my own voice.
Joel exhaled sharply, his forehead pressing against mine for the briefest second before he pulled back, grabbing my hand and leading me inside, the door clicking shut behind us.
The second we were alone, it was like we couldn't get close enough. Clothes were pushed aside, hands roaming, mouths meeting over and over like we were making up for the time lost earlier.
He lifted me effortlessly, carrying me through the dark toward my bedroom, his lips never leaving my skin. When he laid me down, his body pressing into mine, I knew this wouldn't be like the other nights.
Tonight, it felt different.
Tonight, it felt inevitable.
The room was quiet except for the steady hum of the ceiling fan and the sound of our breathing, still heavy from the way we’d just spent the last hour tangled together.
Joel lay beside me, one arm resting behind his head, his bare chest rising and falling in the dim light. I could feel the heat radiating off his skin, the scent of him—woodsmoke, leather, and something distinctly Joel—lingering in the sheets.
I turned onto my side, propping myself up on my elbow as I trailed my fingers along his arm. His eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn’t asleep.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked softly, watching as his brows furrowed just slightly.
Joel let out a slow breath before finally opening his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. “Nothin’,” he muttered.
I didn’t buy it. “You sure about that?”
For a long moment, he didn’t answer. Then, he shifted, rolling onto his side to face me. His dark eyes held something I couldn’t quite place, something heavier than usual.
He hesitated, then ran a hand over his face. “I’m too old for you, y/n.”
I blinked, caught off guard by the sudden confession. A slow smirk tugged at my lips. “That didn’t seem to stop you before.”
Joel exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “That was different.”
“Different how?” I challenged, pushing myself up slightly, looking down at him. “Because I don’t remember you thinking twice about it when you were kissing me against my front door.”
His jaw tightened, and I could see the conflict in his eyes, the way he was wrestling with something.
I softened, reaching out to trace a finger along the scar on his shoulder. “Joel,” I murmured, “what’s this really about?”
He let out a humorless chuckle, shifting onto his back again. “Your parents.”
That made me pause. “What about them?”
Joel sighed, rubbing a hand over his chest. “I sat in their kitchen, y/n. Drank a damn beer with your old man, listened to your mom talk about how she just wants you to be happy.” He shook his head. “Felt like I was lyin’ straight to their faces.”
I stared at him, my heart tightening. “You weren’t lying.”
“Ain’t that simple.”
“Yes, it is,” I argued, sitting up fully now, the sheets pooling around my waist. “You think they’d hate you if they knew?”
Joel didn’t answer right away, just looked at me, his gaze heavy, unreadable. “I think they’d wonder why a man like me is in their daughter’s bed.”
I swallowed hard, my throat tightening. “You think too much.”
Joel huffed, shaking his head. “And you don’t think enough.”
That stung, but I refused to back down. “You act like this is something I just fell into, like I didn’t make this choice. I know what I want, Joel.”
His eyes searched mine, like he was trying to figure out if he could believe that. If he could believe me.
After a long pause, he sighed, sitting up beside me. His hand reached out, fingertips grazing my knee before curling into a loose fist. “I don’t wanna be the reason you regret anything.”
I stared at him, my chest tightening at the way he said it—so serious, so damn certain that he was the problem. That he was something I’d one day wish I could undo.
I reached for his hand, lacing my fingers through his, squeezing tight. “If I regret anything, it’ll be not seeing where this goes.”
Joel let out a breath, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. His eyes softened just slightly, but there was still hesitation there, still that damn weight he always carried.
I shifted closer, leaning in until my lips brushed against his. “You gonna kiss me, or keep thinking yourself out of it?”
He sighed against my mouth, shaking his head, but then his hand was at my waist, pulling me into his lap, and all that hesitation melted away as he kissed me slow and deep—like he knew this was a bad idea but couldn’t stop himself.
And I had no plans to stop him, either.
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fictionadventurer · 4 months ago
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Genuinely think the only way to approach art is to like the things you like instead of tearing down what other people like.
"You should read classics because those are real literature unlike that TikTok garbage." Bad. Turns people away from reading the classics because it makes them sound stuffy and boring and makes you sound like a snob.
"You should read classics because this book is amazing! I love the characters and the story, and it's so cool to read a story that uses different techniques than modern fiction does." Good. Makes people want to read the classic. Suggests there's something good in this story instead of just suggesting that other stuff is worse.
"You don't like the modern art? That's because you're an unwashed plebeian who only likes what's pretty." Bad. Puts down the person and makes them even less likely to be interested in this type of art.
"Wow, I love this painting! Look at the technique! I love the message behind it!" Good. Helps the person to appreciate what might not be obvious at first glance, instead of shaming them for not automatically knowing this.
"You should watch this show because it's so much better than that other garbage show." Antagonizes people who like the garbage show and makes them less likely to feel positively toward the show you like.
"You should watch this show because it has great writing/characters/plot etc." Good! Tells people what makes this show appealing and makes them want to try it.
"I listen to this music because it's real art and not that manufactured pop garbage." Bad. Makes your genre seem like an exclusive club of snobs that I don't want to join.
"I listen to this music because I like the sound. Here, listen to this song." Good! Shows me something good within the genre and may encourage me to explore further.
There's a place for criticism. You don't have to like or approve of everything. But it's not a great technique for getting people to like art. Hating on the things that are bad just drives people away. If you want to draw people toward something, you have to help them to appreciate what's good.
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astxroiid · 5 months ago
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harry's girl // any!peter parker -- non powered!au/virgin!peter
and she's loving him with that body, i just know it.
❥ you're dating Harry Osborne, Peter's best friend since kindergarten. And that should be totally fine... except Peter can't stop thinking about you. ((NSFW)) ib: jessie's girl by rick springfield.
wc: 6k - should be more, imo but, whatever, i'm lazy.
navigation — mit!au
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Peter Parker and Harry Osborne had been inseparable since, basically, birth. Well, except for the four years of high school that Harry's dad had sent him away to private school.
Both boys had tried to stay in touch, but with the distance, and honors classes, and clubs it was difficult.
After high school, both Peter and Harry ended up at The Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Elated to see one another, Harry had invited Peter to a beginning of the year party being hosted by one of his friends.
Peter tentatively accepted.
He had walked into this house expecting something not completely unlike the grandeur he found. Marble floors, giant windows, and authentic art adorning the magnificence of the estate.
A home so nice, Peter never believed he'd ever step foot in one. Classical music was flowing from all corners of the manor, bringing Peter out of his daze.
I mean, who plays Mozart at a college party?
Except; this isn't college, it's an institute. And this is no mere party, it was a gathering of some of the richest and smartest twenty-something's in the country to drink expensive booze, or liquor rather, and have sex.
A lot of which was already taking place around him.
Peter found an antique looking loveseat in the corner of the drawing room and slunk into it.
He opened his phone, scrolling through a random social feed and allowing his mind to go numb.
"Parker!" A tall, thin boy emerged through the crowd of bodies, smiling from ear to ear.
"Osborne." Peter smiles back, standing to greet his friend.
"I'm glad you made it! I didn't know if it was your scene or not, but I hope you enjoy it all the same."
Peter nodded, looking to Harry's side and making eye contact with one of the most beautiful people he's ever seen. "Oh. Hello," His voice is small.
"Hi," you smile at the charming boy in front of you.
Peter feels himself internally retreat back, instantly self conscious of what you think of him. Was he weird for being on his phone at a party? Were the clothes he picked out wrong? Did he seem uninteresting?
"Ah, Peter. This is my girl," Harry squeezes you closer to him and you both smile as he gives Peter your name.
Having his fear confirmed, Peter gives a tight smile.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Peter didn't care much for the party. The drinks were nice, but he'd honestly rather be home.
He found himself outside on the porch, propped on the railing and watching his sigh disappear in the cold night air.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Days turned into weeks of school, studying, reluctantly being drug off to parties, and staring at a wall - trying not to notice you and Harry in the corner, making out.
Every now and then, Peter would watch Harry drag you off to one of the bedrooms, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach.
Most often, though, Peter would hide in the bathroom. He was trying to avoid the sight altogether.
That's where he is now. Sat on the edge of the tub, head rested in his hands as he internally screams at himself.
You can't have a crush on your best friend's girlfriend! That's the biggest rule in bro-code! What the fuck is wrong with me?
Peter rubbed his hands down his face. Sighing. His rumination broken by the sudden slam of a door. Giggling and shuffling.
Peter hadn't given much thought to choosing a bathroom that was connected to a bedroom. Until now.
He cracked the door open and the sight before him made his mouth dry. You were pushing Harry onto the bed, scooting your dress down your body.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Peter quickly, but quietly shut the door. Heart pounding, he slides down the wall.
"God, you're so beautiful," Harry sighed.
Peter pressed a fist to his eye. God I'm an idiot.
It wasn't long before he heard moaning, damn near screaming, and dirty talk he'd rather have never heard from his best friend.
"Such a good girl... just like that... fuck."
Peter would cover his ears but it'd do no good. Instead he covers his face, ignoring the twitch in his pants at every single noise you make. He tries not to think about what's going on behind that door.
But his mind keeps flowing back. To you. To your body, your moans. It's not long before Peter is hard and imagining how good it'd feel to be inside you.
He can hear everything. Every time you cum, which has been many. Every time the position changes. Even every time Harry puts his hand around your throat.
It's everything Peter can do to not touch himself right there in the bathroom. He's gripping at the sides of his pants, trying - desperately - to hold out.
Finally, he can hear Harry finish. All three of you out of breath. A kiss. And what sounds like clothes being put back on.
"I gotta go, baby. The boys are wanting me to do a final round of shots with them."
"I gotta go too, my roommate wants me to bring take-out on my way back."
With that, silence follows for the first time in what felt to Peter like hours.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
When Peter got home he ran a cold shower instantly. Scrubbing his body raw and pushing his mind away from anything to do with you.
Harsh indeed, but necessary.
And as he laid down in bed, he tossed and turned all night. The only dreams and thoughts he had were of you.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Peter Parker awoke the next morning more erect than the night before. He had his subconscious to thank for that.
This began a series of sleepless nights for Peter. Each night restless, and each morning flustered.
He had opted out of the last three parties Harry had invited him to. All being on a Friday night, Peter lied and said he had a weekend full of studying to do.
"Always the most dedicated student, even in your twenties, I see," Harry had mused this afternoon.
Peter gave an awkward nod of his head and walked away.
Later in the evening, Harry had texted Peter.
I know you said you're busy this weekend, but you should drop by my place for some lunch tomorrow.
Peter flopped his phone beside him on the couch, sighing. He hated what his feelings had made of him. He was avoiding his best friend of years all because of a stupid crush.
He picked his phone back up.
I'm sure I can squeeze in a lunch. It better not be that pizza from last time though.
Peter smiled at the memory of the burnt pizza Harry had attempted to make, turning his head back to the tv.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Peter walked into Harry's apartment, following the information given to him the night prior about the door being unlocked.
He looked around, admiring Harry's decorations. His friend is nowhere to be found. Peter called out,
"Hey, Harry?"
Silence.
Maybe he's getting changed or something.
Peter makes his way back to what he assumes to be the bedroom. He freezes about a foot away from the door. It's wide open. And he can see the whole room.
To put it gently, you and Harry seemed to be having a great time.
You were on top of him, blanket wrapped around your waist with your bare back showing. Soft moans flowing down the hallway.
Peter couldn't take his eyes away from the indents Harry's fingertips were making in your lower back.
Shit.
Peter's pants tightened. He couldn't look away. The way you were slowly rising and falling onto Harry's lap instantly being etched into Peter's mind.
"Fuck... Harry... m'gonna..." you threw your head back.
He had never heard such an angelic sound in his life. Poor Peter believed he might have a heart attack at the sight before him. All he could do was blink.
The echo of your climax rattled its way through the apartment. And finally, Peter came back to earth.
Fuck. Fuck, what if they see me? God, it's gonna look so weird.
A split-second decision had Peter quietly scurrying to the door. How do I keep ending up in these situations? He stepped out into the hallway, catching his breath. Peter tugged his phone out of his pocket, and messaging his friend.
Hey, I'm here.
In a moment Harry was opening the door, sleep shorts the only clothing on his thin frame. He was smiling.
"Peter! I told you the door would be unlocked."
"Yeah," Peter gave a sheepish smile. "I was just nervous."
You and Peter ended up sitting together at a small table in the kitchen while Harry stayed around the stove, cooking.
"Hope you don't mind her joining us, Peter."
Peter feels a pit in his stomach surrounded by the both of you. Too many conflicting emotions swirling in the room for him.
"No problem," he waves his hand. "Only gives me more of a chance to learn about my best friend's girlfriend."
You giggle and give Harry a look only you two understand. Peter looks confused.
"What? I thought you two were... but you said...?"
"Harry and I aren't exactly dating, Peter."
God, his name sounded like heaven coming off your lips. So much so he almost didn't render what you'd said.
"Oh," was all he could allow out without sounding too excited.
"We just enjoy each other's company," you smile.
"And if one of us finds something more permanent, no one's hurt," Harry shrugs.
"Got it," Peter's heart skipped a beat.
So maybe he had a shot after all.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
After brunch you and Peter ended up on the couch, chatting while Harry cleaned the dishes. He had insisted.
Peter had a question long held in his throat. One making his heart pound, no matter the fact that it was a simple question. It was still a question to you, nonetheless.
"So," Peter rubbed his hands on his jeans. "The thing about you and Harry...." God. It was such a simple question. Why couldn't he get it out?
You looked at him, smiling. His mind went blank. Any question he had was forgot.
"What about it?"
Peter scrambled to finish his question. "Uh, do you like it? Him?"
"Most of the time."
"Most of the time?"
"Yeah, it's just-" you pause yourself, finding the right words. "Because of our... arrangement, Harry only focuses on what he needs. Which, I can't complain too much, I do the same. But-" you twitch your mouth from side to side.
"But, I enjoy caring for my partner. And when my partner does the same."
Peter is taking mental notes. He nods his head, ignoring the ache in his crotch at details you give.
"Yeah, I get that."
"Right? And - I enjoy my time with Harry, but he really isn't the kind of man I prefer in bed."
Peter's heart races.
"What kind of man do you prefer?" He pushes.
"Well, Harry's very assertive. And I really like a man to let me do the work. Someone more submissive," Peter please get the hint. You pray.
"Oh." Peter, being as inexperienced as he could possibly be, was confused. He made a mental note to figure out what you were talking about.
You had known the moment you'd met Peter that he was the exact kind of man you needed. Sweet disposition seeping into every facet of him. He was everything you'd been craving for months, if not your whole life, really.
You study Peter, seeing him squirm slightly under your gaze. You scoot closer, pressing your thigh to his. Peter feels a tingle down his back at the warmth you spread to him.
You prop a hand on the back of the couch, toying with the hair at the nape of Peter's neck. He stiffens, then relaxes into your touch. "What do you think, Peter?"
He snaps from his daze. "Uh... about what?"
"Y'know... what would you prefer, with whoever you're with." God, I hope this isn't too forward.
"Oh," he's quiet. Too quiet. You wait with bated breath. "Well, I uh, actually don't know..."
"What do you mean you don't know? A man's gotta know what he likes!" You smile, moving your fingers along his scalp momentarily.
"I, well," Fuck, Peter, just spit it out. But really how is he supposed to tell the woman of his dreams, best friend's girl, the most amazing person he's ever met; that he's never done anything more than kiss a woman? And it wasn't more than a peck at that.
You wait, staring at him with wide eyes. You hope he feels the same as you. About a lot of things, really. But especially this.
"I wouldn't really know. Because," he takes a breath, eyes anywhere but you. "I've never really done anything to be able to learn what I like."
You smile. Not a malicious nor mocking smile, but a genuine, heartfelt, earnest smile. "Peter," it almost sounds chastising. "You don't need to do anything with anyone else to know. You just need to know what turns you on the most."
"Hm?" Peter's lips are pressed tight as he moves his honeyed-brown eyes back to yours.
"What can you think about, or watch, that gets you off the quickest?" You let your nails lightly drag across the back of Peter's neck, watching as he shivers from your touch.
He shifts uncomfortably, feeling your eyes on him. How the hell did he get himself in this situation? Beginnings of a hard-on in his pants, your fingers dancing on his skin, and mind a mess of any thoughts other than the one he needs to be having.
Peter never really watches porn. He's heard of it, of course. He's seen the memes about the websites, screenshots of funny faces - but when he's alone with himself, he usually just closes his eyes and waits for it to be over. How does he tell a woman like you that? Without sounding like the weirdest person ever?
"I, uh... don't know..."
You huff a laugh through your nose. "Well if you ever figure it out, I'm curious to know what gets a cute boy like you off," you smile and stand, ruffing Peter's hair as you walk towards the kitchen.
'She called me cute. She wants to know what gets me off. Maybe I have way more of a shot than I thought.'
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Later that night, Peter rested against the headboard of his bed. He stared at the search bar on his phone, a familiar orange and black logo in the top corner.
Peter wracked his brain, trying to figure out what to look up to understand what you meant.
And I really like a man to let me do the work. Someone more submissive.
Peter sighs, typing 'submissive man' and holding his breath as he hits enter.
The videos the boy is left to find stir something deep in his stomach. The leashes, the ropes, the positions, the words.
It's not long before Peter's hand makes its way into his pants. He's pumping himself breathlessly, struggling to keep his phone steady. He's imagining you. You doing exactly to him what they're doing in the videos.
God, it's perverse. It's depraved and even a little bit carnal. It doesn't take long for beads of white ejaculate to roll onto Peter's hand. He trembles and whines.
Shame washes over Peter like a hot wave upon the sand. Fuck. He's so stupid. So gross. Thinking of his best friend's girlfriend like this. Peter drops his phone beside him, rubbing his face with his undefiled hand
Technically they aren't really 'together'. Says the sanguine voice in the depths of Peter's mind. But wouldn't it still be weird? Obviously not to Peter if this is how he thinks of you in his spare time.
Regarding his thoughts of you; his mind dances back to before, imagining how your lips would feel on his neck, hand around his cock, whispering sweet praises and he begs you to let him cum. He's definitely hard again.
"Fuck," he whines. Peter's hand returns to his cock, throbbing in his fist. He bites down on his shirt collar to keep from whimpering too loud and begins to fuck into his hand again. This time more forceful than the last. He's squirming under your imagined touch, shaking as his mind races to fantasize about you holding him down, having your way with him.
And there he goes again, bursting at the seams with his desire for his best friend's girl.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Peter finds himself over at Harry's place more frequently than before. The lie he tells is that he hates being home. Not a complete lie, but not a complete truth either. The thought at the forefront of Peter's mind: how can I spend more time around her?
And it works. You and Harry believe him, though anything that keeps Peter around you won't look into too much. Harry makes or orders food, he stops asking Peter out to parties - inferring his best friend's aversion for them.
Sometimes, late at night, you and Harry talk about him.
"So what do you think of Peter?" He'll ask.
Your hand dances on Harry's chest, swirling circles and stars. "I think he's cute," you'll admit. "He's very sweet, and shy. It's endearing."
Harry will nod his head along. "I think he likes you," said nonchalant because it is. Harry always is. "Have you noticed?"
"Do you think so?" Risking sounding too eager is an irrelevance.
"Sweetheart, if you could see the way he looks at you, you wouldn't be questioning me right now."
You smile to yourself before pausing. "Would that be weird for you? Seeing your best friend with someone you've fucked?"
He smiles down at you. "If they looked at each other the way you two do, not at all. I'd wish them the best."
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Somehow, you ended up with Peter's number. Somehow, you ended up texting him all night, every night. And somehow, neither of you minded.
Endless conversations about mindless nothings. Just getting to know each other. There were plenty of times where Peter would worry about Harry. He'd reassure himself that his best friend said he wouldn't care and either way, there was nothing going on between the two of you.
And then, you'd send a goodnight text with a kiss beside it. Or a good morning text with a pet name in it. And Peter's heart would flutter.
You often discussed school and home lives. That's how Peter found out that you attends MIT as well, and that you live in an apartment with a roommate who chews too loud but is otherwise fine. And, more importantly, how he found out that you don't spend as much time with Harry as Peter's past predicaments would make it seem.
This is how you find out Peter lives alone in a tiny apartment near the university, that he has a tendency to stress himself to death, and that he's more lonely than he seems.
Leading you to the text you'll send today.
I've heard rumors of an amazing coffee shop near your place. Wanna come with?
Sent at the perfect time for him to have just gotten home from his last class. You knew he needed a break, he was working himself too hard on one class alone.
Absolutely! Meet you there?
Peter's chest tingled and he responded. A date? No. But almost.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Peter made it to Mug & Meadow about four minutes before you, waiting by the door.
When you arrived, he held the door for you. Ever the gentleman.
A wave of warm air washes over you. The scent of espresso mingling with burnt vanilla. You step onto the dark wood floor, taking in your surroundings while Peter lets the door swing closed.
Dark, chocolate colored walls matching the wooden floors, except, around the counter has a black and white, diamond-tiled design. Arched windows across the front of the store. Warm lighting pieces scattered about the ceiling.
Light jazz dancing through hidden speakers, soft chatter melding with the beats. Wow. You smile and turn back to Peter, seeing him taking in the surroundings as well. He looks to you, smiling back.
After ordering, Peter tells you to find a seat while he waits on the drinks. You choose a two seated table off to the side. A window to one side and the rest of the store to the other. A nearby bookshelf calls your name.
Peter finds you with your nose off in a leather-bound collection of Robert Frost works. "This place is nice," he sets the cups down on the provided coasters.
You place the book down on the hardwood table, old wax sticking to your fingers ever-so-slightly.
"Yeah," you give your breathless response. "I love it."
"Already? But you just met it," Peter jokes.
"When you know, you know," you sip from your steaming cup. "Who says I don't believe in love at first sight?" You give Peter a knowing look.
He falters. "Uh, well, I was talking to the barista and he said this place is also a library. Which is super cool," He's redirecting.
"Really? That's awesome."
"Yeah, it's something to do with the fact that the owner is like a simi-famous author with the last name Meadow, hence the name," Peter waves a hand up, referring to the shop.
"We definitely have to come back here forever," You take another sip of your drink.
Already booking our next almost-date.
⡠﹞⚘﹝⠢
Peter's stomach swirled, heart beating fast. He was pacing around his living room. A small space, albeit well decorated thanks to May's input and Christmas presents from last year.
"When you have girls over, you'll thank me for helping," And here he is now, mentally thanking her.
You'd asked Peter when the three of you were hanging out at Harry's place last weekend if you could come over. Just you. No Harry this time. A simple question. 'I just wanna hang out with you," it was all you'd given as a reason and it was more than Peter needed to say yes to you.
He's started to say yes before you even explained, not needing a reason more than just seeing you. But the nerves from being alone with you had started to get to him.
Maybe I should've said no. What if she thinks im weird? Especially without the cover of Harry's coolness, Peter felt almost naked. He checked his phone as it chimed.
Google maps says I'm a block away!
Peter nearly chokes on his tongue. Shit, shit, fuck. Okay, how does everything look? There's no messes, no gross smells? Oh, god, how do I look? He ran back to the mirror in his bedroom, double checking his whole outfit.
A simple look. Jeans, sneakers, and a black hoodie layered with a red flannel over it to combat the mid-fall/early winter Massachusetts weather.
Peter brushed his dark curls into place with his fingers, tucking any loose hairs away. He cups a hand over his mouth, letting out hot breath. He brushed his not even five minutes ago, but let his anxiety get the better of him.
A knock on the door and the ding of his phone send his mind flying. Peter takes a deep breath and checks his phone as he walks to the door.
37D right? If so, I'm here!
He slips the phone into the pocket of his jeans and calms himself, reaching for the door handle. "Hey," he smiles wide, happy to see you despite his nerves.
"Hello," you smile back, nearly losing yourself in his warmth. Late November on a cloudy day indoors, and you feel you might get a sunburn. "I brought the takeout we talked about!" You shake the bag excitedly.
"Did you get the egg rolls? It's the only way I can grant you admittance into my abode, I fear."
"I have, although I'm sure you wouldn't leave a fair maiden out in the cold, would you?" You laugh.
"Never one so pretty," Peter steps to the side, guiding you into his apartment. He shuts the door behind you, offering to take your coat, hanging it on the rack beside his door.
"So what movies did you pick? Only the best I'm sure."
"What makes you say that? I could have a real shit taste in movies you know. What if I only watched the Shrek movies?"
"Oh no!" You giggle. "I gotta go."
So far, Peter feels like he's doing great. He's got you to laugh twice and the smile on your face has yet to falter.
You set the takeout on the coffee table and Peter helps you set everything up, begging you to let him do it because you're the guest. You insist on your help.
Within minutes; your laying with your legs over Peter's lap, throw blanket over your legs, plates of food in hand and the movie's starting.
"Can I know what movie this is?"
"Shh, it's starting," Peter squeezes your leg, spreading warmth throughout your body. "And no, it's a secret."
For the duration of the movie you find yourself scooting closer and closer to Peter. Eventually, both your hearts are pounding in your throats as Peter wraps his arm around you, pulling you tight against his side. You wrap your arm around Peter's waist.
He's trying not to breathe too quickly. Efforts fail when you bury your face in his neck, hot breath fanning across his skin. He stiffens slightly. You notice.
You glide your hand from where it rests around his waist to his thigh, rubbing lightly. Peter is trying his best to focus on the movie and definitely not the growing ache in his pants.
You nuzzle your nose below his jaw, purposely breathing against his neck again. Peter lets out a sigh, not a negative one, more so a breath he'd been keeping in. Perhaps for as long as he's known you.
Peter finds himself stretching his hips forward. More subconsciously than anything. You take the chance, heart in your throat, and slide your hand over Peter's crotch.
God, is this actually happening? Peter's mind is trying to find any way he could be misreading this. Oh, shit. You press your palm into Peter's lap.
He looks down at you, a new emotion in his eyes. You share the same look in yours. A beat of a moment passes and you're sending Peter's head reeling and you slowly move closer. Sharing breath and keeping his eyes locked with yours all the way up until you close your eyes and press your lips against his.
With a body full of confidence and a mind full of you, Peter kisses back. It's sweet and gentle like him, yet as needy and passionate as you. He hums and you melt at the sound.
You feel his bulge grow under your hand and you keep your movements soft. Earning whines from him kissed into your mouth. You hold his crotch tight and rub your thumb up and down. Peter huffs into you and pushes his hips against your hand. He's never experienced as much pleasure in his life as he has right now and yet, he finds himself nearly begging for more.
You oblige to his unspoken request and straddle his hips. The broken kiss causing a fleeting warmth between you. "And this is okay?" Your words are sincere and nearly concerned.
"Nothing has ever been more okay than this," Peter puts a hand on the back of your neck, pulling you to kiss him. You both smile.
You press your hips into him, earning the cutest whimper you've ever heard in your life. You grind yourself into Peter's growing bulge and he rests his head against the back of the couch, moaning loud.
The boy in front of you looks like a dream. Face flushed, dark ochre curls a mess, lips parted as his head lay back. You use the opening to kiss at his throat, leaving marks you know won't fade anytime soon.
With each rock of your hips Peter moans louder. Having never had a man as vocal as him, you drink up all he'll offer. You have that pretty bulge of his trapped right against your hips, exactly as you want him.
Your movements are getting faster, as are Peter's moans. Whimpers only increasing your need for him.
Peter can hardly stand it. He's gripping your hips about as tight as he can, trying to hold himself back but fuck the pressure feels so good, and you look so hot right now. Your kisses are sending chills down his spine.
He pulls you to kiss him on the mouth, needy and fervent. Your mouths move in unison, an unspoken rhythm known only to the two of you.
You grab his hair and pull his head back. "Fuck," he chokes, looking down at where your grinding against him.
You feel his cock twitch inside his pants, begging to be touched, pleading to be sucked off. You switch your pace to an even tempo with hard pushes and watch as Peter's eyes darken under you.
Peter grabs your hips tighter, and goes still. He lets out a low whine. You feel his hips jolt beneath you and you pause. His face is flushed a deep rose all the way to his neck.
You stare in disbelief. Peter hides his face in your neck, holding your body close. You look beneath you, seeing a dark spot form in Peter's jeans.
"Aw, baby," you pull his face from your neck, looking him in the eyes. "Don't be embarrassed, that's so fucking hot."
It's Peter's turn to hold the look of disbelief. "Really?" Every ounce of shame draining from his body by the look on your face alone.
"Absolutely. I've never made a man cum from so little before."
Peter's sigh of relief doesn't go unnoticed. You smile and kiss his cheek, loving and kind, same as him. You quickly kiss down his neck, making way towards his pants. You slide onto your knees on the floor between Peter's legs.
He's breathing fast again. Fingers restlessly fidgeting beside him. He's not sure he believes what's happening is real. There's no way you're between his knees right now, looking at him like that.
Peter holds a breath as your fingers move to the button on his pants. His zipper deafening in the surrounding silence. You press a kiss to the wet spot in Peter's boxers, looking him directly in the eyes as you do. You feel him twitch against your lips.
There's no way...
You gently pull him out of his underwear, shock evident in your eyes when you see he's hard again, cock covered in his own cum. Peter twitches at the contact, more sensitive than ever.
"Fuck, Pete... that's so hot."
Never in his life. Never did Peter believe he'd ever experience anything like this. To be honest, he'd convinced himself he'd die a virgin. Sad, true, but a reality to him all the same.
You slowly, teasingly, stroke Peter's length and watch as his hips shake. "F-f-fuck..." You run your thumb over the tip of his cock, biting your lip with anticipation.
You can't help yourself, can't stand it any longer. You wrap your mouth around the head of Peter's dick, the taste of his cum has you rolling your eyes back into your head. Peter whines and you take him in, all you can fit.
His strangled moans fill the room as you work him up. Peter can hardly breathe, swapping between looking at the ceiling and you.
The noises from you are lewd. That alone would have Peter finishing faster than ever if not for his sheer determination to experience this pleasure for as long as he can. That said, he's still not going to last long. You can tell.
You pull off of him with a pop, watching the mixture of cum and saliva flow down his shaft.
"Fuck, that was-- you're amazing," Peter's dopey smile stretches his cheeks.
"Just wait until you're inside me, Peter."
Peter chokes at the implication. His dick twitches on his lap. An aching boner growing once more.
He watches as You begin to undress yourself, slowly, in front of him. Taunting his erection with each piece of exposed skin. Your shirt is the first to go, immediately exposing your hardened nipples.
Peter's struggling to keep himself together.
You slip your jeans down your legs, giving Peter a show with each fabric gone.
Instinctually, Peter wraps a large hand around his aching, sensitive cock. He slowly pumps himself.
You grab his wrist, grip firm. "Did I say you could touch yourself?" You're completely naked, eyes stern as they look into Peter's.
"No..."
You raise an eyebrow, silently asking.
"No, ma'am," Peter is so unbelievably turned on right now.
"Good boy," you smile, releasing his wrist and kissing his cheek.
God.
You step close to Peter, grabbing his hand. "Feel how wet I am for you," Peter feels he might faint before even touching you. He presses a finger between your folds. Fuck, you're soaked. "That's what you do to me."
He looks up at you, pleading. He nearly whispers your name. "I need you."
Those words are all you need to plant your legs on either side of his hips. You reach between your bodies and wrap your hand around Peter's length. He moans. You glide his tip along your slit, soaking him in your arousal.
Peter violently grabs the arm of the couch, white-knuckling the fabric. You slide his cock inside you and you lower your hips. Moaning loud at the sensation of him filling you up. Peter's panting, staring between the two of you in disbelief.
No way this is actually happening right now. Fuck, she's so tight. So warm, so amazing...
You slowly begin to bounce on Peter's lap, loving the way his eyes and head roll back. "Fuck, Pete."
You place your hands on his shoulders, picking up a pace near intense. Your lips find his in a heated embrace. Moans slipping from both your mouths like a symphony of pleasure.
Your body squeezes around Peter's cock and he's brought to the edge all too quickly. You wrap a hand around his throat, squeezing the pulse points. He grabs your hips so tight you're sure you'll have marks left. You don't mind at all.
"God, you're so good. So, fucking, good. Please... don't stop," he's panting, out of breath and dizzy from pleasure. Peter never believed this would be his first time. Not with you. Not like this. Not this amazing. It's the most euphoric sensation he's ever felt in his whole life.
"I want you to cum inside me, Pete, please," your voice is pleading, needy.
"But--"
"--I'm on the pill. Peter. Please. Cum inside me."
Never needing to be told more than twice; Peter pulls your hips down against his own, holding you hard against him. He cums deep inside you, shaky whine echoing throughout the apartment.
He rests his head against your chest, huffing. You tangle your fingers into the hair on the back of his head. He kisses between your breasts, slowly moving to your neck. "Fuck, you're amazing," Peter pants between kisses to your hot skin.
You hum, kissing the top of his head. "I take it you enjoyed your first time?"
Peter's head snaps back up to you. "How did you--"
"--Peter..." Please don't make me tell you how obvious it is. He turns red, hiding his face in your neck.
"God, that's so embarrassing."
"Not at all, it's actually really hot."
"Really?" His eyes shine beneath you.
"I've always wanted to be someone's first. And the fact that it was you, Peter...."
Peter kisses at your chest again, moving to leave matching marks to his own on your neck. You let out a small, yet heavenly, moan. When he feels the way your body squeezes around his, he whines and presses an embarrassed face into your neck. His arms wrapping tightly around you.
You feel him harden inside you, gasping. "Peter."
This is going to be an amazingly long night.
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i will most definitely be reusing that coffee shop description in future fics - i love it!
very proud of this one - please remember likes are appreciated but comments and reblogs mean the most <3
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kxsagi · 29 days ago
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hiii! how r you? i like your writings so much<3 can you do this one where the reader is the pilot/captain of the plane the bllk boys are flying on?
“𝟏𝟎-𝟒, 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭”
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a/n: i'm good and i hope you are too! thank you so much!!!
ngl this request idea reminded me of that one caleb tik tok edit audio where he’s like “10-4, captain caleb out” with take my breath away playing (hence the titel)
ft. itoshi rin, isagi yoichi, mikage reo, nagi seishiro, hyoma chigiri, kaiser michael, bachira meguru, itoshi sae, shidou ryusei
itoshi rin
he’s dead silent the entire boarding process. headphones in. hoodie up. classic. 
until he hears the pilot’s voice over the intercom and thinks: that sounds familiar… 
then you say your name and he just… freezes mid-scroll. no music. no breathing. no way. 
stares at the ceiling like it personally betrayed him. 
you’re flying this plane? oh gosh. he’s proud of you, of course, you’re amazing, he just didn’t mentally prepare for this. 
texts you: “we're not gonna die right” “i trust you but also i’m scared” “i love you btw” 
won’t admit he was nervous until like a week later. 
makes you a bento the day after to “thank you for keeping his ass alive.” 
isagi yoichi
literally gasps when he hears your voice on the speaker. 
beaming like a proud dad. keeps telling the flight attendants “that’s my girlfriend!!” like a loser. 
opens flight radar just to stare at the little plane icon and pretend he understands what’s going on. 
tries to peek into the cockpit before takeoff. gets caught. blushes. 
will not shut up about how ✨cool✨ and ✨smart✨ you are. 
“babe, you flew the plane! like? the actual PLANE???” 
asks you a million questions afterward like you’re a celebrity. 
makes it his phone wallpaper: you in your pilot uniform, looking all hot and composed. 
mikage reo
his reaction is immediate and dramatic: “no. way.” 
claps like he’s in the front row of a runway show. 
“i knew you were talented but babe this is HOT.” 
keeps bragging to everyone nearby. “i invested in this airline. emotionally, too.” 
calls his family during boarding just to say, “guess who’s flying my plane? MY GIRLFRIEND.” 
asks if he can get cockpit selfies with you after the flight. 
will try to buy the whole airline just to rename it after you. 
nagi seishiro
half asleep when you announce your name over the intercom. 
slowly opens one eye. stares at the speaker. groans. “so loud...” 
texts you: “you’re the pilot? that’s kinda sick” “wake me up if we crash” 
immediately falls back asleep. 
wakes up halfway through the flight, checks the sky outside the window and shrugs. “guess she’s good at this too.” 
kisses your cheek after landing and says, “good game.” 
gets weirdly obsessed with flight simulators after this. 
hyoma chigiri
jaw hits the floor. you’re the pilot? 
he’s in awe the whole time, even while trying to stay calm and collected. 
heart flutters when you say “this is your captain speaking.” 
he clutches his seat during turbulence but tells himself, “no, she’s got this. she’s amazing. she’s got this.” 
definitely brings you flowers the next time he sees you. 
insists on taking cute post-landing photos with you and says, “i want to show our future kids how badass their mom is.” 
kaiser michael
smirking immediately. 
“ah, so i am in good hands.” 
texts you: “i think i’m in love with my captain” “take me to the mile high club”
acts chill but is actually so turned on by how powerful and composed you sound. 
gets way too into the captain/flight attendant roleplay ideas afterward. 
flirts with the flight attendant just to make you jealous, until you purposely hit turbulence for one second and he shuts up. 
bachira meguru
screams. “THAT’S MY BABY!” 
literally runs down the aisle (the flight attendant has to stop him). 
flirty text: “can i press buttons in the cockpit? pretty please?” 
asks if he can wear your hat. 
draws you in a superhero cape later with the caption “CAPTAIN CUTIE” in all caps. 
you catch him narrating the flight to his seatmate like it’s a magical journey: “and now my beautiful girlfriend is taking us over the clouds…” 
itoshi sae
he does not react externally. at all. like he hears your voice and just blinks slowly. 
the most emotion he shows is a very subtle smirk and maybe a nose exhale. 
he already knew you were a pilot but didn’t expect to be on your flight. 
checks the flight info and texts you: “you better not crash. i have a commercial to film tomorrow.” then a second text: “jk” “don’t get distracted thinking about me.” 
wears a sleeping mask the whole time. 
but after landing, he purposely waits at the gate for you just to say in that dry, quiet voice: “smooth landing. you looked hot up there.” 
gives you a lil side hug like he’s not absolutely obsessed with you. 
shidou ryusei
deadass gets turned on the moment you say “this is your captain speaking.” 
full-on puts his hands over his mouth like he just saw a hot celebrity walk by. 
“no fucking way. MY GIRLFRIEND? THE PILOT? OH, I’M GONNA DIE SEXY.” 
immediately presses the call button and tries to bribe a flight attendant to let him in the cockpit. 
texts you: “hey baby wanna join me in the air tonight 🤭” “you can land on me later” 
gets way too excited during turbulence. “IS SHE TESTING ME?” 
when the plane lands smoothly he claps obnoxiously and yells “THAT’S MY GIRL!!” from row 12A. 
calls you “captain mommy” for the next week and you have to threaten to ground him. 
© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢
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the-alan-price-combo · 9 months ago
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It's been 60 years since The Animals performed their first concert in the United States, their song "The House of the Rising Sun" beginning to top the American charts at the exact same time!! 🐾❤️✨️
Thought it would be fun to remake their Paramount Theatre poster, featuring a redraw of one of my favorite photos of the band! (inspiration under the cut) ✨️
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Redraw!! 🐾✨️
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anniflamma · 1 month ago
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AnniFlamma, we all love your fanart and animatics of Epic: The Musical, please don't let a few shitty people demotivate when 100x those people love and adore the stuff you make, along with all other animators!
Stay safe and take care, we will always be here and I can't seem to repeat this enough but we love your art
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Thank you and everyone for reaching out to me. I will be honest with you all that what happened did upset me a lot, but I am very lucky to have people to go to for support. I will even blame some of them for making me cry, my friends, I mean, because if I am upset and if someone asks me if I am okay, I just break down. 😅 But I used our little server as a ground to vent, and right now I feel much better now.
But I will still be honest that I meant what I said that my interest in making Epic fan content has reduced a lot. I still love Epic, and I still really want to do the whole Ithaca saga, but I have also realized that posting content about it has caused me to feel anxious.
An example is when I finished The Challenge animatic, I felt an extreme wave of anxiety when I was going to press the upload button. And the worst thing? My anxiety confirmed the fears. I have gotten tiktok comments saying that I am a freak for drawing Penelope nude despite it being in a non-sexual way. Apparently, I have to be constantly reminded that female bodies are icky and the world hates women. Aaaaaaand then to get hit by that TikTok video of thousands of people shitting on me, Duvetbox, Gigi, Mircy, Neal, and so many more…
If you have noticed, I have posted less, all types of content for Epic. I don’t do my headcanons anymore, I never wrote that full review of Epic, I feel less keen on drawing fanart, let alone joking about shipping here online. I remember when I made a joke about shipping Aphrodite and Athea because they were the only female characters interacting with each other (ignoring Hera), and then I took it as a critique that Epic failed the Bechdel test. After that, I got plenty of anonymous messages about how I am an evil person for shipping those two goddesses… Just say that you don’t know what the Bechdel test is and block me... 😑
I also hate how my first negative experience with the Epic fandom was pure homophobia toward my Bible animatics. Like, they used negative language toward gay people to tell me to make Epic content instead. There is this weird obsession where people expect me and other artists to only do one thing, which is Epic, and if we dare to do something else, we get punished or infantilized, like we didn’t have any say when Casper commissioned us for Stories of Styx. Don’t get me started on how fucking awful people were to Casper and Teagan….
I hate how people easily tell others things, only for them to unquestionably believe everything said about me. Like the amount of "Anni made Ody/Circe porn, uwaaaa!!" And then, the moment someone questions them and forces them to realize I never made such a thing, they double down and say that I shouldn't have made Circe nude in the original animatic "cuz female bodies are icky" or the classic "Well, I haven’t seen the porn video, but someone told me it existed, so I’m going to believe it exsits." Like, you could tell these people that the sky is green, and they would believe you.
Then there’s that whole "Anni supports rape" or "Anni felt bad for the suitors and wanted Penelope to get raped" insanity. Those quotes stems from ppl was crashing out when I made a post criticizing Epic’s way of addressing the topic of rape. In that post, I was suggesting that I would like the story better if Odysseus were actually morally ambiguous when killing the suitors. How could anyone even think Ody was in the wrong for killing the suitors because he wanted to protect Penelope? How can he be a monster after that? I don’t know, I support a husband protecting his wife from gang rapists, but I guess that was the worst thing for me to ever say, huh? Like, how dare I criticize their almighty Jorge…
It’s insane that I have an easier time handling hateful Christians compared to TikTok Epic fans. 😅
Oh well... I’ve had so many bad experiences with the TikTok Epic fandom over the past two years. And eventually, you just want to log off.
I’m thinking of stopping posting Epic content at all on TikTok as a first step. If TikTok Epic fans hate my fanart that much, then I’ll do them the favor of never seeing it from my account. I will, however, continue posting my Bible animatics there. And if I continue working on my Hold Them Down animatic and if I ever finish it… I will only be active here on Tumblr and on YouTube.
And so, at this moment, I will take a pause from Epic. It probably won’t be that long because, despite everything, I love that musical. But I also have to remind myself that, despite there being so many negative remarks toward not only me but the other artists, there is a lot of love from you actual fans. I have about 138K subscribers on YouTube. That’s 138K individuals who love my work so much that they want to see more of it. THAT IS TOTALY INSANE! And I will never forget that! And I am so thankful for all of you and your support. Thank you and I love you guys! 💕
I’m also planning on making a better-formulated post about this another day. All of this is just me ranting and want to take a short break, focusing on something else.... Maybe... Venice the musical? 😅
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