#classic that is engraved in my brain

[rholsof-film]

Behind the scenes of ‘White Chicks’ (2004)

Credit: (PopCulture2000s)

[flemingsfreckles]

Replacement Part 7

Read the rest of the series HERE!

Warnings: alcohol consumption, internalized homophobia, discussion of past emotional/physical abuse, description of a panic attack at the end

WC: 3.0k

A/N: okay I think I confused people, Part 6 has been out for a bit, I just failed to add it to my master list, it’s now on there, so if you missed it read that first.

Jessie had said you two didn’t need to spend the whole night together, but somehow that’s what ended up happening. You spent nearly every minute of that wedding side by side, with the exception of when Jessie was standing beside Janine at the altar. The closeness between the two of you had started even before the wedding day.

“Heard you’ve found yourself a date to the wedding this weekend.” Coffey had come up behind you after training one day, slinging her arm across your shoulders. You just squint in her direction. “Fleming?”

“Oh, that’s not a date, she just needed someone to go with, she wanted the company, she’s new here and still doesn’t know the team well, I think she also knew I didn’t know the Canadian side of Janine’s friends and family well, so I think it just made sense, Janine also teased her for not having someone to go with-”

You trail off your words when you hear Sam start to laugh. “Okay,” she pays your chest hard with her hand. “Whatever the excuse is, enjoy your evening, it’s good to see you two getting along, a lot of people would envy you getting to be her date.”

“It’s not a date.” You shove her off as you speak through your teeth at her, feeling your face start to heat up.

“Whatever you say. You two have gotten pretty close recently.” Sam rolls her eyes as she heads toward the showers while you split off going toward your cubby. She wasn’t wrong, you and Jessie had spent a lot more time together recently.

Jessie coming over had become more and more common in the past few weeks. On your off days, the two of you would grab a coffee, walk around, and usually end up back at your place. Jessie continued to claim she didn’t have her apartment unpacked yet so it was always your couch you ended up on.

You had developed a full on friendship with Jessie. And while you loved the time the two of you spent together, the closer you grew, the more panic alarms went off in your brain.

Just last week the two of you were both on the couch, just a couple inches from each other, the popcorn bowl being the only thing keeping your thighs from resting against each other. Jessie had been on a mission to force you to watch all the classic movies after she learned you hadn’t seen most of them when you were younger.

And while the television was playing the movie, you weren’t focusing on anything besides the woman sitting beside you. You held your breath at every movement she made, adjusting the blanket or the way she sat, each movement she made had you on edge. Each noise she made, a satisfied hum, a small snicker at something funny, little comments or fun facts she knew about the movie, all of the noises were slowly becoming engraved into your mind.

You nearly sent yourself into a coughing fit when you reached into the popcorn bowl to be met with the warmth of Jessie’s hand instead of the feeling of the popcorn. Jerking your hand away you muttered an apology to her before waiting to reach your own hand back into the bowl. You ignored the feeling for the rest of the night, and again and again when those feelings of warmth keeps arising when you’d see Jessie, hang out with Jessie, even think about Jessie.

Today when Jessie knocked at your door her knock was frantic. You quickly scrambled to the door, opening it to see an equally panicked looking midfielder, coffees in one hand, a notebook in the other.

“Hi?” You say, taking in the unusually frantic appearance of Jessie.

“I need help.” She says breathlessly before pushing her way inside. “I have to write a speech.”

“For?”

“Janine’s wedding.” She says, dropping the coffees on the table and opening the notebook she had brought.

You can’t help but stand there in shock, “That’s tomorrow Jessie!” Jessie who was normally so put together, so organized, had failed to write a speech she’s known about for months until the night before.

“You don’t think I know that!” Your eyes widen at Jessie as she raises her voice at you, loud in volume and higher pitched, her emotions coming though. She wasn’t one to yell often, on the pitch she’d get hot headed but hardly would she lose her temper off of it. “Sorry, clearly I’m stressed, but sorry.”

You spent the next hour trying to calm Jessie down. She vented about her nerves and her inability to put her feelings onto paper, you sat and listened, watching as she paced the length of your kitchen. You didn’t say much but you tried to help her get her thoughts and feelings into an organized speech. It took nearly 3 hours but before you knew it Jessie was reading through her speech to you for one final time, as you nodded along approving of every word she had written.

“I promise it’s perfect.” You gave her one final confirmation after listening to the speech again and again. Jessie was finally satisfied with it, she had packed up her notebook, thanking you tirelessly as she made her way to the door.

“Thank you again.” She said, her hand coming to rest on your shoulder. You give her a smile and a nod, as you do you swear you catch Jessie’s eyes drop to your lips for a moment before darting back to your eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said with a smile before turning and heading down the hallway.

You now sat in the rows of chairs, among many of your Portland teammates. You watched as the ceremony started. You’d been to weddings before, they were cute and all but they never got your heart racing, they never gave you the desire to be up at the altar yourself. The issue was, this time it wasn’t the actual ceremony and vows of endless love that got your heart racing. It was the brown haired freckled girl standing just feet away from Janine who was causing the swell of emotions to build up in your chest.

When she had walked down the aisle, her arm linked with one of Janine’s husband’s groomsmen, you felt your heart beat harder. As she walked down, closer and closer, your heart rate picked up and when she glanced over to you with a smile your stomach flipped and you felt your knees grow weak. It was different seeing Jessie dressed up, her hair done, nearly curled and framing her face, her make up was natural and subtle, but it was the dress that was captivating you. You tore your eyes away to watch the rest of the bridal party walk down the aisle, followed by Janine, but that only kept your eyes off Jessie for a couple minutes.

You couldn’t seem to keep your eyes from wandering to her throughout the ceremony. No matter how much you would remind yourself to look at Janine and her to be husband, you’d catch yourself staring. She stood with a smile across her face as she watched her best friend get married. Your eyes spent way too long admiring the dress Jessie was standing wearing, suddenly feeling like your own dress shirt and pants were nothing in comparison to hers. She looked gorgeous and you knew it, her toned arms on display as they held flowers at her waist where the dress perfectly hugged her shape. It’s as if nothing and no one else exists at the ceremony, it’s only you, sitting staring at the beautiful woman in front of you. On a few occasions Jessie’s eyes would catch yours, making you instantly drop your eyes to the program, your lap, or directing them back to the sky, feeling embarrassed being caught.

The ceremony ends and you find yourself and the rest of the guests being ushered off into a cocktail hour before the reception. You stand around a small table and watch as the rest of the room interacts, making small talk with the other guests of how you knew Janine. You listen to stories of her childhood friends, her friends from school, neighbors, people from every walk of life who were here to celebrate her. You were never one for small talk but you manage for about an hour before your saving grace arrives at your side.

Feeling a poke in the back and a familiar voice fills your ears. “Hi.” You turn and Jessie is standing in front of you, her arms open. It had become common for her to greet you with a hug, so you moved into her giving her a hug before pulling back.

“You look good, that shirt was a good choice.” Jessie says as you watch her eyes scan you up and down. She had asked what you were wearing the other day and when you admitted you weren’t sure, she FaceTimed you and made you show her all the options. She hadn’t told you what to wear, but you had noticed the way she stared at you for an extra few seconds when you had put on the white top with the blue accent. You had kept her reaction in mind this morning when you had tossed it on. You can feel the heat from her gaze, you’re sure your cheeks are flushed.

“Oh thanks.” You clear your throat. “You look really great Jessie.” You compliment her back and you notice the way she bites back a smile as she gives you a quiet “thank you.”

“I need a drink, this is a lot of people and a lot of small talk, do you want one?” Jessie points over her shoulder toward the bar.

“Yeah, sure, that would actually be great.” You follow Jessie through the crowd of people and hop in the queue for drinks.

One drink quickly became two, and two became an unknown amount. You both had a few at the cocktail hour, followed by a few during dinner and before you knew it, the real party had started and you were watching your teammates dance around from the comfort of your chair. You smiled as you watched Jessie get dragged around the dance floor by Janine before she finally broke away and made a dash in your direction.

“Save me.” She whispered as she sat down in the chair next to you.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad.” You rolls your eyes at her.

“Says you, you’ve hardly gotten up to dance yet.” Jessie reaches in front of you on the table, taking the drink in front of you and finishing it off in a single sip, causing you to raise an eyebrow in her direction.

“Hey!” You take the glass back from her quickly. “And that’s not true! I danced with Sam a bit ago, but then she ditched me so I came to sit back down.”

“Would you rather be dancing?”

You shrug, you liked dancing, it was fun, freeing, but the crowd of strangers deterred you ever so slightly. “I mean, I’ll maybe go once Sam or someone is free again.”

“I’m free.” Jessie directs a hand at her own chest.

“No, don’t be silly.” You shrug her off and direct your eyes back to the dance floor. “You don’t want to dance.”

“I’ll dance with you.” Jessie stands up, holding out her hand to you. You look between her face and her outstretched arm. Her expression is hard to read, she’s smiling at you but part of you can tell she probably had no interest in dancing herself.

“Only if you’re sure?” You look at Jessie, not wanting to force her to be uncomfortable. She nods quickly and smiles at you, confirming she wants to dance with you. “But let’s get drinks first.” You shake your empty glass in her direction before standing up.

You both grab drinks and make your way to the dance floor. It starts out silly, the two of you standing an uncomfortable distance apart while both half dancing, half standing there. But the longer the night goes on, and the more alcohol that gets put in your system, you both let loose slowly. Your bodies get closer as the night continues on and before you know it, Jessie’s front is nearly flush with your own as the two of you continue to dance in the crowd.

A slow song begins to play and it breaks both of you from your trance and you take a step back from Jessie, only now realizing how close your bodies had been and only now realizing how much you longed to be back with your body up against hers.

“Com’ here.” Jessie grabs your hand, she makes her way off the dance floor as the couples begin to slow dance.

“What, where are we going?” you giggle as Jessie pulls you through the reception. “Jessie.” you whine her name while still stumbling behind her.

She pulls you around a corner, putting herself against the wall and pulling you into her. “Hi.” her grin is huge across her face, shadows on both of your faces as the light from the moon outside crept through the window.

Your head was spinning, from the drinks and from Jessie's stupid beautiful face in front of you. The stupid beautiful face you couldn’t fall for. And while the thought of your mother screaming at you that you could never date a woman, never kiss a woman had started in your head, that sound faded as you watched Jessie lean in as she brought her lips to meet yours. On instinct your eyes closed, and you kissed Jessie back like your life depended on it. Melting into her warm lips, your hands coming up to rest on her hips, gently pulling her closer into you.

You can’t tell if the kiss lasts a minute or an hour. The intoxication of the alcohol you’d consumed and the intoxication of Jessie’s lips caused you to lose all track of time. You were floating for the few moments your bodies were connected.

When you pulled back it took only a few seconds for those voices, those lectures, that hatred of yourself, to come flooding back into your mind. Where Jessie’s hand gently held your cheek you now felt the too familiar sting of your mothers hand. It was as if someone had sucked all the alcohol from your system in an instant, incredibly aware and sober to the fact that you had just kissed Jessie, a girl, your teammate. The fact that you had kissed her and you liked it.

You just stared at her. Your mouth hung open, unsure of what to say or what to do. She still had a silly smile on her face as she looked back at you. Her smile fell quickly as she must’ve realized the terrified look across your own face.

“I have to go.” You try to step away from Jessie but she grabs your wrist.

“Wait.”

“No Jessie, we can’t, I can’t, I have to go.” You repeat again having to fight back the waver in your voice, blinking hard to avoid tears. You pull your wrist from her hand and walk in the direction of the exit.

You walk and walk and suddenly the walk turns into a jog before a sprint, fighting tears all the way. Thankfully, the venue wasn’t far from your apartment. You manage to keep your composure until you unlock your door.

When you get inside your apartment it feels like the world is closing in on you. You can hear your heart, pumping blood loud in your ears, it drowned and muffled any other sounds. You bent over, resting your head on the cool countertop, suddenly feeling a wave of sharp heat across your body.

You were sweating. In an attempt to cool yourself off you started to peel off the shirt and pants you were wearing. The very same shirt you had put on because of Jessie. Your panic increased as your hands shook making it harder and harder to undo the buttons on your chest.

You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, you could only picture being 16 again, your parents in front of you, shaming you, screaming at you, you remembered the feeling of being told you no longer had a home there, all of it, you couldn’t think of anything else. Your hands continue to tremble as you pull your belt off and let your pants fall, nearly tripping out of them, your head starting to spin. You tried to fight off the lightheaded feeling, blinking hard as you made your way to the couch despite the tunnel vision you were experiencing.

The couch is a temporary sanctuary, you lay in your underwear and tank top on the fabric and try to focus on breathing. You’re not sure how long you sit, the room spinning around you.

You couldn’t call Janine, it was her wedding you had just ran from. You couldn’t call Sam, she was still at the wedding. You certainly couldn’t call Jessie. There was no one you could turn to, no one to confide in at the moment, so instead, you sat loathing in self hatred.

You sat staring at the ground in front of you, not able to break your stare, as the memories of your parents telling you everything that was wrong with you rang through your mind. The sound of your phone ringing from across the room breaks your mind from the fog it was in. You push yourself up from the couch and walk over to it to see Jessie’s face and name on.

Her face brings up mixed emotions, on one hand, it brings you happiness, deep down you know hearing her voice would be relaxing, she’d know how to calm you down. On the other, she’d make you spiral all over again, her voice would remind you of how she had called after you to wait as you had bolted from the reception. Instead of torturing yourself more, you walk away from the phone, letting it ring and ring, and move to your bedroom.

It wouldn’t fix anything long term but sleeping would at least help you get away for a couple hours.

[vanishingcherry]

Hi! I see the requests are open so can I get social media au for Ollie Bearman with camille pidoux as the y/n face claim? (I'll drop the detail of request and the face claim's intagram on the next one)

based on this request. hii! thank you sooo much for your request, i absolutely loved the details and tried to make it as perfect as possible.

masterlist

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑

(EXTRA)ORDINARY LOVE

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher and 84,975 others

olliebearman date nights with my love

view all 9,850 comments

olliefan1 this is like a hair appreciation post

formula1forever its the way we dont even know what she looks like but everyone is already simping over her

↳ olliefan2 its her vibes... theyre captivatingly powerful

olliefan3 I JUST WANNA KNOW HER NAME PLS OLLIE

olliesmysterygf we love someone who loves books

For as long as you could remember, Ollie Bearman had been in your life. Your parents claimed that the two of you met in 4th grade, but you could swear you had known him much longer. It was as though your brain was engraved with images and stories from his childhood, his old picture-books being your main source of entertainment at his home.

The two of you were inseparable growing up. Everyone gave up at some point, your parents, teachers and even friends. You came as a set, and that didn't change when you started dating.

Admittedly, you had been hesitant at first. You loved him, there was no doubt of that. It was clear as day to the both of you as well as everyone else. He loved you too, more than he thought possible. But his career prospects meant he would be far away from home majority of the year. Quite simply, you were afraid he would forget about you one day, leaving you behind, heartbroken and alone. Even as friends you found it hard when he left, it felt like the other piece of you was no longer there.

However, in classic Ollie fashion, he managed to convince you. Alongside a plethora of gifts and little notes, he made a promise to never do anything to hurt you or let you forget your worth. Till date he had kept that promise, not once giving you reason to worry.

The two of you were older now, no longer little kids running around in the backyard after school, but the intensity of your love was the same. Although you couldn't be with him in person all the time, you cherished the moments you could. You went on dates all the time, simple and quiet ones, but they were incredible nonetheless.

Ollie would regularly take you to bookstores, feeding into your love of reading. He didn't read much himself, and was perfectly content sitting back and watching you pick out things to read, looking over the back cover before bringing them back for him to hold. He didn't mind, he'd do anything for you. You were perhaps one of the few people in his life who had never used him for his fame, never befriended him with the sole purpose of scoring passes to a race. It was why he had vowed to himself to never lose you, he understood how rare it was to find someone who cared as much as you did.

Another sign of Ollie being perfect was the fact that your cat absolutely adored him. The moment Ollie entered a room, your cat would forget about everything else entirely, although you understood why, you sometimes wished you could do the same as well.

You loved him, and he loved you. That was all you knew, and all you needed to know.

liked by yourfriend, olliebearman and 234 others

yourusername a little bearman appreciation post (because no matter what, ill always love you)

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yourbff HIS HAIR IN THE SECOND PICTURE

↳ olliebearman ITS HELMET HAIR LEAVE ME ALONE

olliebearman thank you my love ❤️

↳ yourusername ❤️

yourfriend you guys are so cute together!

liked by yourfriend, arthurleclerc, kimiantonelli and 23,985 others

olliebearman so, so proud and so delighted to tell you that the love of my life got into cambridge! shes the genius out of the two of us, if you couldn't tell... i love you so much darling! ❤️

view all 8,475 comments

olliefan4 CAMBRIDGE? DAMN RIGHT SHES A GENIUS

f2fan ollie is a genius too, he was smart enough to get the prettiest person ive ever seen

↳ olliefan5 yes bcs i want that pink sweater so bad

olliefan6 he brings her flowers that so sweet

↳ bearboy and the way the flowers match her outfit too like this man thought of everything

liked by yourusername, arthurleclerc, f2 and 205,987 others

olliebearman it seems you have found her... so i present to you the most wonderful person in the world- my girlfriend yn.

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olliefan7 not the emphasis on "my girlfriend" like that man knows were gonna try and steal her

yourusername thank you bebe

↳ olliebearman ❤️

↳ olliefan8 SHES COMMENTING ON HIS POSTS NOW

↳ olliefan9 yes cause we know who she is now

olliefan10 SHES SO PRETTY NO WAY

olliefan11 watch this account become a yn fanpage now bcs honestly i would do the same

[youronlydarlin]

🥰Hey can you write a fic for me. Simon buys thongs and he puts them on, he’s all naked with just thongs on. He also lives alone and makes a sexy slow walk to his bedroom door trying to be seductive and he lick his lips and bites it as he gives his ass a little shake. Then Leon jumps and hangs himself by his thongs on the door giving himself a wedgie and he’s screaming loud. His balls squeezed from the thong and his bare ass on display as he hangs from his thongs receiving the wedgie, he screams but he enjoys it

Hi, what?

You stand in the corner, confused, bewildered, afraid. Half eaten pizza falling to the floor at the sight of... What ever the fuck this is..

It's 3am and you're convinced that what you're seeing is a hallucination, a twisted trick your sleep addled mind bestowed on you as the consequence of not properly taking care of yourself. But of all the fucking horror your brain could've conjured, why this? Was this some sort of secret fantasy that you've locked away and neglected? Tossed to the back and left to starve like that one artificial pet you used to play on your moms phone when you were 7? What was so enticing about the image of Ghost from the hit game Call of duty wearing a thong? With the special participation of Leon Kennedy from the world renowned classic Resident Evil game?

It's all just too much, your knees threaten to give out and you're wondering if it's really too late to get therapy. All you wanted was to go back to your room with a snack, and no, Ghost's ass does not count.

It's like watching a car crash, no matter what you do you can't stop looking. Like you're not in control of your eyes. Forced to look up at the morbid scene that's forever engraved into your memory.

When all of a sudden Deadpool crashes in through the window, he carries you to the basement where you have a hot steamy threesome with Wolverine.

And they all lived happily ever after...

a/n: I can't believe after months of disappearance this is what breaks my no fic streak. I'm deeply sorry to anyone who reads this

Yours, truly

–Dolly

[kritterscribbles]

I FINALLY GAVE MY SHADOW A PROPER DESIGN REF *EXPLODES*

I've been meaning to for ages now but I kept getting sidetracked by other things, but it's done now and I'm super happy with it!! A couple design notes just bc I want to set my thoughts down somewhere:

Given that my Shadow is based in/on the canon from Hitoshi Ariga's manga, that's the design I pulled from and based this off of. However, considering Shadow is supposed to be stealth unit, the brighter, cream-colored accents from both the classic!verse and Ariga—while nice—kinda scratched at my brain wrong? So I tried to keep the design, but darken the colors.

Muffler is red because this ref is post-Stardroid Arc. Before that point he still had his blue one, and I like the idea his new red is somewhat of a tribute.

Yes, that is a hip chain. Yes, those are piercings. While I'm not entirely sure when he got each of them, I think he had them by the time of the Stardroid War.

Eye makeup I am also unsure about, but that's only because i need to figure out if it's printed on his skin or it's something that will eventually need to be re-applied.

Extra sketches n stuff under the cut:

From left to right, top to bottom: Uncolored Kuiperdroid concept, what his body looks like under the armor, A closer look at his piercings, and back engravings I was toying with.

[amid-fandoms]

dan and phil are simultaneously the reason i'm in a reading slump and also a big motivator for me to pick up my books again especially dan mentioning camus in the last vid. just looking at my 10 shelves of classics makes me want to devour them but instead i just open dapg and rewatch things that have been engraved in my brain for ages

[matchagyudon]

Charisma, Hitoriboushi (A Solitary Tribute Death) - Iori Motohashi English Lyrics Translation

TL Notes:

奉死 (houshi) is kind of a pun of 奉仕 (houshi) which is service. 奉死 (houshi) isn’t really a common combination, but 奉(hou) does have a meaning to “dedicate” which is what Iori is very well known for. He alone (独り, hitori) dedicates his body, and therefore eventually his death to whomever. 奉 in this case is an auxiliary that shows tribute to something. His death (死, shi) is a tribute to those he works himself to death for.

The “humble” pleasure in the sense of kairaku(快楽) is pleasure from freedom of earthly desires.

回峰行/kaihōgyō: thousand-day walk through the mountains from Hieizan to the old Imperial Palace in Kyoto (ascetic practice of the Tendai sect).

澪標/miotsukushi is a play on words (wow this is happening quite a lot here!) of 身を尽くし/mi wo tsukushi. A Heian-era classic Japanese poem (waka) by Prince Moriyoshi goes: “Miserable, now, it is all the same, channel-markers at Naniwa-- even if it costs my life, I will see you again!” (Translation by Dr Joshua Mostow) < That link goes more in-depth between the two. 

I took a bit of liberty with 記憶の花/kioku no hana. Instead of saying “memory flower/flower of memory” I chose to put “forget-me-nots” as the flower most commonly associated with memory.

Also-- I just wanted to point out that the way they "officially" read "houshi" is "boushi" that's why the transliterated title is "Hitoriboushi" but he clearly says it as "houshi" as a reference to the word for service.

The voice calling me to humble pleasure consumed my brain With no way to shake it off, I return to you

Yielding myself to writhe in pleasant submission Controlling my own desires, aah, it drives me crazy

Chores, serving meals, massages Thousand-day pilgrimage, human sacrifice If anyone tries to steal those from me I’d sooner kill them

From the bone, all the way down to the marrow To the softly falling blossoms I would give up my life And it would come to an end… I would serve, serve, and serve-- until my dying breath This solitary tribute death

My favorite collar shackles me As a sign of my vow, if you would please let me be I cannot help but to be your slave For it is my purpose in life

If you wish for it (let me seek it) Tase me, blaze me, dunk me in an ice bath too My body (remembers it) This sinful love, passionately engraved

Please order me around! Come on! (I’ll bring you food) Do you need an organ donor? (Thank you) I’ll take on burdens from an alternate dimension right away Right now

From the bone, all the way down to the marrow To the softly falling blossoms I didn’t choose to be like this This is just how I live

Oneday… I will fall In the end, I’d like to be by your side Bloom, bloom, blooming bountifully I will become your “forget-me-nots”

And if I could be reborn again I would serve you once more Your esteemed orders Please give me more and more

A Solitary Tribute Death (google.com)

[absolutelyflabbergasted]

hello!

my name is Ariadne, it is nice to meet you! my pronouns are they/it, and I use all gendered terms

linguistics and anthropology are my favorite things ever, so if you want to tell me about language, culture or history, do so!

I love asks, talk to me, ask questions, give opinions, whatever!

I don’t really get context clues so apologies if I mess up! bigots of every breed go away, I will block you

my personal tags are #ari says some stuff for me being silly and talking, #ari likes things for stuff I love, #ari is confused for when I am confused and have questions and #ari draws some stuff for when I post my drawings! If you have any poetry requests, art requests or prose requests, I do them for free! I love creating but inspiration is hard to come by for me

if you use my art in anything, please credit me!

I love mutuals so much, lmk if you want to be taken of this list or added, I forget a lot lol

@ang3lic-t3ars @whydousernamesevenexist @garden-of-runar @prongsbitch @aesthetic-writer18 and some other people I’m sure! artists I heavily recommend and/or my favorite albums by them

MARINA, I love her so so much, very dramatic pop

Les failles by Pomme, my French is minimal by their music is so beautiful, like poetry

the record, and the rest by boygenius, AHHHHHHHH nuff said

Me by Brooke Alexx, sounds like bubbles

Tir by Cerys Matthews, a lot of Welsh folk songs and lullabies

Anything Conan Grey has ever made, istg

The Fool In Her Wedding Gown and Coyote Stories by the Crane Wives, and everything else really, but those are my favorites

Malfunction by Dead Posey, very brain scratchy rock

HOLY FVCK by Demi Lovato, I like it very much and FREAK is so good

WELCOME TO THE HOTEL CALIFORNIA

Love me not and Scatterbrain by Emei, sounds like a mental breakdown but fun!

Gayle, especially their singles

Black Soul Ceremony and Fool and the Thief by THE HARA

I Love It and Light Me Up by Icona Pop! I love it so much such a jam

Human Again by Ingrid Michaelson, genuinely one of the most heart wrenching thing I’ve ever listened to

Applause by Lady Gaga

born to die (the album) by Lana Del Ray

EVERYTHING LAUREN ALAINA HAS MADE IN HER GORGEOUS EXISTANCE also good if you want none problematic country music I saw her at the Grand Ole Oprey and I think I died

Maddie Zahm is so Marlene to my if I have to write her POV I turn on one of hers

Unbroken and Scar by Missy Higgins, her voice is so iconic

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson (my American ass keyboard hates me for that)

All of the Queen classics, they are so good

How to be me by Ren, the harmony is sooo gorgeous here

Weight of the World by Shayfer James

stupid and happy face by Tate McRae

All I Can Never Be by Trash Boat

Runnin with the Devil by Van Halen

XXI Century Blood by The Warning, I LOVE THIS ALBUM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF I SING IT EVERYDAY

Eden by Willowbrook, so pretty!!

Neotheater and OK Orchestra by AJR

ABBA

ROCKISDEAD by Dorothy, country folk rock sorta thing, I love her so much

Paris Paloma, specifically Its Called Freefall and drywall, they are engraved on my heart

Harbinger by Kiki Rockwell

DEAR READER by PEGGY

Little Girl Gone by Chinchilla

CHAPELL ROAN MY LORD AND SAVIOR

The Mean Girls soundtrack

Hazel Eyes by Sabrina Jordan

Florence + the Machine

Yaelokre <3

GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo, I scream her songs like i have an ex to scream at ( i don’t)

Come Away and Irish Eyes by Rose Betts

Rich Man by Emhahee, it’s just a demo but I love it so much

Rät and Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

and finally, the Ride the Cyclone soundtrack

Yall better take my recommendations this took almost an hour to type out

anyways, I have no consistency and I like it like that :)

[kustas]

Hii, do you have some recommendations for euro comics that are available in english (aside from moebius' stuff and rabbi's cat)? :)

Die Laughing: Franquin is a household name in "classic" (60/70s) euro comics, while he's mostly known for his children's adventure comics I believe this one is worth reading if for the art alone. They're short stories if not single page comics that are akin to newspaper comic strips if it wasn't for their edgier, pessimistic content.

The Arctic Marauder: Fantastical drama set in the late 19th century that entirely commits to the bit. Drawn like old engravings and with equally inspired paneling, this is a great looking comic. The story might be a bit too weird for the average reader, it's pessimistic and political, and like in all of Tardi's work every character is mean and ugly. I like it there

Black Order Brigade: spoke about this one on here before. A bunch of ageing former spanish facist fighters decide to reunite for a final battle following a terrorist attack. Good thriller that carries the weight of upcoming death throughout it's whole run. If you like martial themes this one's for you

Anything by Druillet, a slightly forgotten king of trippy ass paneling and 70s fantasy stories. If you like the album covers Roger Dean made and ever thought "hm. I wish giant space mechs and reality bending adventures happened in there, and I also wish I could sear off my eyeballs reading comics". You're in luck. Strongly recommend getting the physical editions for these ones

All of these artists are big french names from the same era as Moebius or right after, who while super famous here don't have much name recognition internationally outsides of niche fan circles.

For non french artists, I'm a huge fan of Sergio Toppi (who I discovered pretty recently! With his mythology series. Got the ice themed one). He has very striking style. His work got compiled in collected volumes of shorts which are pretty good

Fpr one last rec, I'm giving this one with a strong disclaimer: this is not very good. While it's interesting to look at and fun at times you'll have to grit your teeth through a lot of fantasy genre cringe compilation classics. If you're ready to suffer in the name of camp, The Mercenary is a spanish comic entirely oil painted with frankly ridiculous detail that I've regularly read when I have no more brain and want to see guns mounted dragons. 70s Sci-fi Art on tumblr has a great collection of the artist's work, mostly illustration, but there's some panels here and there.

That's about all that comes to mind for today :)

[yousummonusonceyousummonustwice]

pokey this is ur fault i’ve been listening to the guy who didn’t like musicals and its now engraved into my brain. the apotheosis is upon me?1!1?1

anyways question for you all, do you guys like musicals? I like them so much (Mostly Epic The Musical and Hatchetfield Trilogy)

Yes, yes it is :] And YES YES YES YES YES :]]]]]] *insert flappy hand here*

yeah, i like them enough :}

Yeah, they’re pretty cool :D

Yeah, I especially like movie musicals :3 (I will kill you)

I’d like to say no because of how much I’ve had to listen to Pokey talk about his musical, but sadly musicals theatre is pretty good

Yeah, I like some musicals. I’m prefer more classic musicals, but more modern musicals are good too

[chaos0pikachu]

tldr: bitches want gay shit, not het shit, with data and numbers to back it up; bonus Bible’s booty

so thinking about @discluded​‘s essay on Mile and Apo’s upcoming historical drama, and Thailand’s bid for soft power got my brain thinking thoughts. I’ve talked about Thailand noticing the soft power of their BL media before along with why I think Chinese, South Korean, and other East Asian media (from television to novels, etc) are popping off in popularity in the last 5 years or so. Idk where those posts are and I’m to lazy to link them thus is life

The point! The point is tho reading discluded’s post made me think about F4 Thailand. Ironic, I know, since F4 is a het drama based off Boys Over Flowers a shojo manga from Japan that was released in 1992 and ended serialization in 2008. 

Firstly, Boys Over Flowers FACINATES me b/c the god damn chokehold this series has on various Asian countries. I told a friend it’s comparable to like, Romeo and Juliet, in that it’s been adapted, remade, re-adapted, re-booted, re-imagined, and so on over and over and over again. Like there’s audio dramas, there’s films, there’s multiple live action TV shows, there’s an anime. Japan’s made two feature films, and two seasons of a TV. Taiwan had two seasons of a TV show, Korea had a tv show, China had two versions of the same show (one was a remake), Indonesia had two tv shows, India had a tv show, and finally Thailand was the latest to adapt it into a TV show in 2021 - 2022. The legacy of this story can’t be denied. 

Now, my point? Okay so my point is I witnessed online the marketing for F4 Thailand in real time. It was interesting to me b/c I very rarely - and have not since - seen a ton of talk about a Thai drama that wasn’t BL or a horror or action film. 

When it comes to the Thai film industry, the three genres I see discussed are: BL, Action, Horror. You can see this in what Netflix (America) offers in regards to Thai series specifically what ones they dub which shows like: Girl From Nowhere (which Netflix invested in a s2 and is a thriller/horror drama), The Whole Truth (a horror film), and Thai Cave Rescue (which they also have a documentary based on). Netflix is still (STUPIDLY) reluctant to purchase a license for any SK or Thai BL content (I know Semantic Error would blow the FUCK up on Netflix you idiots!!!) probably b/c investors are like, hmmmm but would gays of color sell? I would say they also have Your Name Engraved Herein but that’s an easier sell b/c its a drama and has more of that classic gay Oscars vibe (this isn’t an inherent bad thing don’t come for me). 

Okay back to my point I s2g I have one. 

So marketing for F4 Thailand was interesting b/c I actually saw it. I don’t see marketing cross over into my international waters for Thai het dramas. What helped this, and I fully believe this was done purposely, is the casting of Bright and Win who gained international popularity from 2Gether. Like, it seemed pretty obvious to me that casting Bright and Win was a bid to peak the interest of the international market, combined with casting them specifically in an adaption of one of the most famous and well known Asian romantic dramas of the last 30 years or so. This show was set-up to be A Hit. 

But I don’t think it really worked internationally; bare with me, numbers time. 

Now, ratings for F4 averaged at .441% on Thai TV, higher than Bad Buddy (which aired on the same network) which averaged at .121% and Kinnporsche which averaged at .314%. 

I compared F4 to these two shows specifically b/c they aired in a similar timeframe (all three shows aired over the course of 2021 - 2022 except KP which only aired in 2022) and arguably Bad Buddy and Kinnporsche were the biggest BL shows in Thailand in those respective years. 

F4 also did well in the Philippines, and ended up dubbed into Filipino, and it’s scheduled for re-broadcast in 2023. Honestly, it’s difficult to see how well F4 did internationally as there’s not a ton of information available on it. When I google “F4 Thailand reception” there’s not a lot of results, if I google “boys over flowers Thailand reception” I get this: 

ngl I think it’s pretty funny that one of the top four most asked questions is if F4 is BL and again, it’s def b/c of Bright and Win’s casting. But given that there’s not a ton of information available, I glean that F4 didn’t do great in the western (American/Latin American/European) market. Not to say it didn’t do well. 

On Google ratings: F4 Thailand lands at a 4.9 rating with 2619 reviews/ratings and Bad Buddy stands at a 5.0 with 1085 reviews/ratings

On MyDramaList F4 has a rating of 8.5/10 from 11,982 users, and Bad Buddy has a 8.5/10 from 26,445 users

On IMDb: F4 has a rating of 7.8/10 from 2.3k users, and Bad Buddy has 8.8/10 rating from 5k users

This isn’t a comparison about quality, but activity. I’m not here to make judgements on either shows quality, but rather international impact and relevancy. Outside of Google, Bad Buddy has more active users who left a rating or review on the website than F4, almost double in fact. 

If you go to GMMTV’s official Youtube page and look at the most popular videos on the channel it’s majority....2Gether. Like my god so much 2Gether the CHOKEHOLD this show had on y’all:

More date and a comparison of F4 and Bad Buddy’s international numbers below, we’re getting into the meat now. 

Now the actual F4 official trailer has 3.7 million views on GMMTV’s channel. Bad Buddy official trailer, also on GMMTV’s official channel, has 2.7 million views. Both are set at 1 year ago so they’re within the same or similar time frames for comparison. 

To throw in there, the Kinnporsche official trailer was released 10 months ago and has clocked 7.1 million views total on Be On Cloud’s official channel. To keep up with the comparison, F4′s OST Who Am I clocked 21 million views at 1 year, while KP/Jeff Satur’s OST Why Don’t You Stay has clocked 36 million views at 8 months. 

(completely unrelated sidenote but Vegas/Bible’s ass has 3.4 million views and I just find that fucking hilarious, the man’s booty got more youtube views than other studios episodes. The power of Bible booty) 

You can watch episode 1 of F4 on GMMTV’s official youtube channel, but only episode 1 the rest are just previews for other episodes. Idk why, other series whether het or BL they have all the episodes available. There’s apparently 80 videos that are hidden, I’m wondering if you have to pay Youtube premium to access those. Since I only have episode 1 to compare, for comparisons sake, we can look at those numbers of F4′s ep01 and Bad Buddy’s, both of which are clocked at 1 year each, are as follows:

Bad Buddy ep01 [1/4]: 9.6 million

Bad Buddy ep01 [2/4]: 5.4 million 

Bad Buddy ep01 [3/4]: 4.9 million

Bad Buddy ep01 [4/4]: 5 million

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [1/4]: 1.7 million

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [2/4]: 848k 

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [3/4]: 3.3 million 

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [4/4]: 747k 

If you crunch these numbers, Bad Buddy’s total view count for episode 1 is around 25 million views. F4′s total view count is around 7 million views (if I’m doing my math correctly a bitch doesn’t work in maths). 

Now, I don’t know what the premiere numbers for either of these series was. BUT, this shows that one series, Bad Buddy, has legs and the other, F4, didn’t. 

Either way that’s a pretty sizable gap and a lot of international fans use Youtube as a means to legally watch and support these shows as shown in the availability of subtitles.

F4 has subtitle options in: English, Korean, Chinese (Taiwan), Portuguese, Turkish and Spanish

Bad Buddy has subtitle options in: English, Turkish, French, Indonesian, Spanish, Chinese (Hong Kong), Korean, Chinese (Taiwan), Vietnamese, Arabic, Portuguese, Polish, Italian, Burmese, Chinese (Simplified) and Bulgarian.

Bro, BULGARIAN.

As far as I can tell, IQIYI doesn’t release streaming data that I could find, so idk what the numbers are for Kinnporsche. I do know that Kinnporsche, since airing, has never let the sites Top 10 list which is an impressive feat after ending months ago. 

So like, what does all this information mean~ exactly? Am I saying F4 Thailand was a flop? No, not even a little bit lol I don’t have enough data to really say definitively F4 was a flop nor is that really the point here. 

The point here is about international impact, and the fact that in my humble ass opinion, Thailand���s het shows ain’t hitting internationally all THAT much. Not as much as their BL shows are and have been. 

Objectively, going by Thai ratings, F4 did a lot better than Bad Buddy, but internationally? Internationally there’s a pretty visible gap from everything I’ve seen. 

I think what GMMTV was hoping was by casting Bright and Win they’re pull in that international audience they had cultivated with the 2gether series. But het dramas are high key a dime a dozen in American/European/Latin American audiences. Folks go to Kdramas or Cdramas for het dramas (and I have theories on why those hit, namely Cdramas for the high fantasy aspects that Europe and America doesn’t deliver on and kdramas for being unashamedly high quality produced romances. Also the one-and-done factor). 

Given the juggernaut success of Kinnporsche, not just in the west but also in other Asian countries I imagine that’ll influence other studios to try to follow suit even more to gain even a half-slice of that visibility and profitability. Kinnporsche, imo, is an outlier, it’s success is sorta like 2gether and TharnType in that there were a lot of factors outside of the show itself that led to it’s individual success. 

Like, flat, argue with the wall, 2gether is NOT a good series. But, it was released right when lockdown began (literally, ep01 aired Feb 21, 2020), in a way 2gether was like Animal Crossing, GMMTV didn’t expect it to do THAT well especially internationally but it did partially b/c what the fuck else we people gonna do in lockdown? Watch a simple but cute gay romcom which there was a gap for - Love, Victor wouldn’t air it’s first episode until June 17th, 2020, and that was marketed less as a queer romcom and more as a queer coming of age story. There’s also the factor of The Untamed having ended - final episode August 20th, 2019 - and folks catching on to the growing and active existence of international queer media that wasn’t boxed in and tied down by American conventions. 

I think what we’re going to see is the “next era” of BL. We saw the uptick in overall content post 2019/2020 with the success of 2Gether and TharnType, following the success of series like Why R U, Love By Chance, 1000 Stars, Lovely Writer, etc along with other countries getting in more on the game (namely South Korea) and the overall uptick in the amount of BL (and now GL!) shows across the board. 

After 2gether we saw more BL shows, I think after Kinnporsche we’re going to see higher quality BL/GL shows. And I think we’re already seeing that. Semantic Error was a nice change of pace for SK b/c it was longer than 15mins, I think going forward given the success of SE we’re going to see SK branch out slowly into developing longer shows (no longer than 30 to 35mins tho to keep costs down) and better workshopping (some kisses in KBLs...my guys). While for Thailand I think we’re gonna see better quality shows. Not Me dropped the ball in some regards but visually the show was great. Cutie Pie’s story was incoherent sure but visually? Hot damn that was a good looking show. We’re also getting more interesting concepts out of Thailand too; like that Prince/bodyguard show coming out, the fact Kinnporsche did eventually get made and MileApo’s upcoming historical film. 

this all got away from me but whatever, bitches want gay shit, peace

[jadewing-realms]

Okay but this game has ruined vampires for me, understand? Some people, when someone says "vampires" their brains might immediately conjure good ol Edward, the Cullens. Others think of Lestat or What We Do in the Shadows or Buffy or Castlevania, Vampires the Masquerade, maybe even classic Dracula. I dunno, insert any other various vamp media title here.

But no, there is an Astarion-shaped impression permanently engraved behind my skull now and for now and forever, if I see anything related to vampires, the first thought in my monkey brain is gonna be about this loveable asshat of a pale elf.

Thank you for altering my very subconscious, Larian. This is a gift. I won't forget it.

[mrsillymccoolguy]

here’s a poem I made about a month back that reminds me of Abed

(Intro To) Romantic Cinema

I want one tear rolling 

Like the credits on the silver screen

Late nights and a single rose

Painting portraits of you in my daydreams 

One hand that touches mine during scary scenes 

Or maybe an arm that slides behind my back, grounding and leaving me with goosebumps 

A boom box held high at my front porch , an open window waiting for someone to come on in

An exciting new adventure 

A thrilling new chapter 

Maybe it’s dumb

To want the typical romance I see in the theaters

A dare leads to true love

If your a bird then please, show me your world

Your mythical fantasies 

From love triangles to misunderstandings

Hell even ‘under the sea’

Engraved into my brain is our everlasting memories 

Maybe one day I can have love like in the movies.

But for now I’ll blow out 16 candles

And every wish will be for you

From the freaks, the geeks, and the classic hits

The fists raised high , disastrous parties and wings in the sky

I hope to be an idiot teenager

And wish to be one of a kind.

-DanFran 2023

this is my first time sharing my poetry on tumblr so I hope you enjoy it!! should I post more of my poetry on here? Let me know please! If I do I might add a little voice message too bc I prefer reading out my poetry and stuff<3

[liesmyth]

This post started out as a tag ramble (& became longer than the actual post as per usual) after seeing @mayasaura‘s tags in this post about the origins of Kiriona Gaia’s name. Especially the part about Kiriona’s first name:

#also yeah kiriona is her given name spelled using the phonetics of Te Reo #which I'm mentioning bc which language it is specifically is somewhat important #given that it's the language of John's people #that he likely never learned to speak fluently due to the colonial governement's attempt to exterminate it #so thematically that's rather signifigant #she's the only other person he's allowing to share in the legacy of his lost home #(lost because he blew it to kingdom come but lets not bicker and argue over who killed who)

I think a lot about the implications of names in the Nine House following a very specific theme (ancient Greek, Latin, and Biblical first names, Latin-inspired arithmonic House names) but John gave his daughter the name Kiriona. This is very interesting to me, especially in light of what those tags say re: John being Māori but most likely not speaking the language of his people due to colonialism. We don’t have the full picture yet, but a lot of what we know points to John choosing to preserve some of the ~foundational mythology~ of western civilization when shaping his empire. A colonizing Empire, though we really don’t know if “space colonization” was John’s plan for the Houses all along or if he decided it later. (Also an Empire that’s in large % made up of descendants of historically colonized people so there’s that too). At the same time, John shares his own cultural heritage with his daughter – and his daughter only, as if it’s something to be kept between the two of them and better forgotten at large.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this and I’m sure a lot of the implications are going over my head, but I think the initial cultural mould of the Houses tells us something about John as a product of a society that valued one specific area of cultural history above all others, and John internalizing that to the extent that he reverted to those stories and those myths when he was looking for civilization building blocks. And then he went and turned to the language of his people when naming his newfound daughter. Maybe it’s a public vs. personal sphere thing, maybe he wants to wear a different hat as a long-lost father than he does as the God-Emperor, or maybe it’s just that by the time he finds out he has a daughter he’s over the whole ‘Classics names’ thing and sort of regretting those initial choices.

fwiw, John probably wasn’t very coherent in the early days (maybe early years?) so who knows if he actually put any planning into what he did. As a scientist he probably had a lot of Latin engraved in his brain so why not use that? Sounds very smart. But, also, the fact that our scientific classification is based on Latin is itself a product of western supremacy and so on so forth. It’s a tautology: I’m God now and I guess God likes ancient Greek and biblical themes as filtered down to us through the lenses of Western Christianity. Why? Because that’s what God does. I guess.

(Also: compare all of this with the Blood of Eden naming system where they chose random bits of human culture to preserve. Not those deemed worthwhile by the elites, just… random bits. Shakespeare but also an Eminem song and a verse of an anthem in an indigenous language. That last one especially is Curious and tbh it’s the only detail giving me pause from jumping 100% to the very obvious conclusion that BoE was founded by the descendants of the FTL ships just because of who was on those ships and what cultural resources they would’ve brought along. But that’s a whole different speculation.) 

[pouroverpaloma]

Hi!! I read your post about the US elections yesterday and I'm sending you all the love and courage to hold on 🫶 And uh, also some fics too!

I'm not too sure they all qualify as "unhinged" but I'll do my best to give you quality content. It's a bit all over the place on my favourite fandoms but I hope you'll like it. If you want more Rolan x Tav, I have bookmarked some on my AO3 here :)

Baldur's Gate 3:

Deeply and Immovably So, Rolan x Tav ; a long-burn story that's permanently engraved in my brain for EVER.

Scholars of Enchantement, Rolan x Tav ; a sweet and sexy fic about Rolan finding love and being an idiot, it's not unhinged at all but it feels very comforting!

Magistrate's Advocate, Astarion x OC ; it's good and reasonably unhinged, with stellar writing and fun and sexy moments too.

The Accountant's Guide [...], Astarion x OC ; by the same writer as above and it's fucking fun and a very good read, also slightly unhinged but in a good way!!

Mutually Assured Destruction, Gortash x Tav; good levels of unhinged (well, it *is* Gortash), and pulled me in immediately. Really recommend it!!

Avatar: the last airbender

The Sparrowkeet series, Katara x Zuko ; I read it a long time ago so it's a bit blurry but I do remember that it impacted me a lot back then. If you know the ship (a classic enemy to lovers) and like it, I'd recommend it for sure!

Game of Thrones

A Big Cop in a Small Town, Jaime x Brienne ; it's actually a crossover with Hot Fuzz (the movie) and I also read it a long time ago, but I never forgot it. Not too sure about the "unhinged" part but it's really funny, and one of my fav for this pairing.

I'm a bit all over the place today so that's all I have for you at the moment but I hope it'll help! Take care 🩷

!!! Thank you SO MUCH Paper!!! Oh man these all look great; there are some old favorites and some new picks I can’t wait to dive into (especially that last one?? I love Hot Fuzz so that’s going RIGHT in the folder)

I’m so touched and delighted that you took time out of your day to put this together for me. Thank you, really, this helps more than you know 💜

[youredreamingofroo]

*puts on evil hat* Music asks: 15, 16, 21, 25 *removes evil hat*

okay i completely forgot about this ask and i love music asks so much that i was dedicated to scrounging through like 300 posts to find my actual reblog of the music asks post LMFAO

from this post/rb

15, A song that is a cover by another artist >:))) I love this question so much because I get to share this PHENOMENAL cover by my fav indie rock band

16, One of your favorite classical songs Not to disappoint, but classical music is such a snooze fest for me, not a jab at classical music, moreso myself 😭😭 so I... don't have a fav :(

21, A favorite song with a person’s name in the title I dont remember if I've shared this one before but this song is literally engraved, engrained, carved, etched into my brain, i LOVEEE ricky's music sm but this song... oh my fucking god...

25, A song by an artist no longer living I don't really keep track of the living status of artists I listen to.. but I do know that the two artists from Her's (a band made up of those two artists) were killed in a car crash in 2019, so I'll go with them. The vocals in this song itch my brain soooo much i love them :3