#clarifying shampoo meaning

[rosemaryhelenxo]

Revitalize Your Hair: The Magic of Using Clarifying Shampoo Twice a Month | RHXO Tips

In the quest for luscious, vibrant hair, many of us invest in an array of styling products, conditioners, and serums. However, amid all this hair care enthusiasm, it's easy to overlook one crucial step: deep cleansing. Read my tips here! Rose xo

In the quest for luscious, vibrant hair, many of us invest in an array of styling products, conditioners, and serums. However, amid all this hair care enthusiasm, it’s easy to overlook one crucial step: deep cleansing. Enter the hero of our hair care routine—clarifying shampoo. Here’s why incorporating it into your regimen twice a month can transform your locks and breathe new life into your…

[sunni-stuff]

Part 1 This is part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

With the train ride now over, the sergeants ran, scouring the market for two familiar faces. Their footsteps in sync, crunching delicate mounds of white snow. Soap broke through the crowd first, then Gaz and Gary were right with him.

“Where the hell are they?” Gaz pants out, his breaths misting in the cold air.

“You said the marketplace,” Soap huffs.

“Yeah, I said the marketplace, but it's not like I know exactly where they went!” Gaz snaps back.

While the two sergeants bicker, Roach quietly breaks away, scanning the area until he spots the familiar figures they’d been hunting for. Price and Ghost stand outside a cigar shop, deep in conversation. The satisfied grin on Price's face tells Roach everything—he got what he was after.

“They’re over there!” Roach exclaims, snapping his partners out of their lovers' quarrel.

Gaz and Soap go silent, their eyes following Roach’s line of sight until they, too, spot their Lieutenant and Captain.

In a heartbeat, the three of them are sprinting toward their unsuspecting targets. Soap grins like a madman, practically buzzing with mischief, while Gaz shakes his head, both amused and slightly wary of what might unfold. Roach, meanwhile, is simply thrilled to be along for the ride.

They skid to a stop right in front of the two men, chests heaving as they catch their breath in the biting winter air.

“The hell is wrong with you lot?” Price’s voice cuts through, laced with a mix of annoyance and bemusement as he shifts his attention from Ghost to the winded sergeants.

Ghost, arms crossed, eyes them with quiet scrutiny. His winter coat does little to conceal his bulky frame, a silent reminder of his imposing presence as he stands beside Price.

Price and Ghost waited for an explanation, knowing well everytime those three got together, they were definitely up to no good.

Like how they put semi-permanent green dye in Ghost's shampoo for Halloween.

“We… we saw. A kid with your face,” Gaz manages, still catching his breath, pointing straight at Ghost.

Ghost raises a brow, baffled. A kid with his face? What the hell did that mean? Did they think he looked like a baby?

Soap huffs in mock disappointment, shooting a playful glare at Gaz. “Oi, I wanted to say it!”

Predictably, the two dive into another back-and-forth. Gaz isn’t one to shout, but Soap has a talent for riling anyone up.

Price lets their little show go on for only a moment before his stern voice cuts in, slicing through their bickering. “One of you properly explain, or you'll be walking back to base.”

Roach steps up, eager to clarify. “There’s a kid, probably about two, and she looks exactly like the Lt. Scowl, glare, and all!”

Price and Ghost pause, their expressions twisting as they both try—and fail—to imagine a little girl with Simon’s permanent scowl.

Price shudders, shaking the thought from his head. “That is not a face a kid should have.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” Gaz chimes in, nodding emphatically.

Ghost throws him an offended look, his usually hardened eyes showing a glimmer of hurt. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing!” they all exclaim in unison, even Price, who quickly averts his gaze as Ghost’s glare narrows on him.

Ghost huffs, then crosses his arms. “Did you take a picture?”

Soap snorts, leaning against the wall with a smirk. “Aye, right, 'cause that wouldnae be creepy at all.”

Ghost stares daggers Into Soap, rolling his eyes and pushing himself off the wall. “Okay, then where is she?”

The three stooges lead the charge once again, this time with their Captain and Lieutenant in tow. They weave through the crowd toward the train park, where Soap eagerly scans for the woman and kid he’d spotted earlier. But the line they were in is empty, the pair nowhere to be found.

“Shite. I think they’re gone,” Soap mutters, his Scottish accent thickening in his frustration, the words rolling out with a clipped bite. 

“So the imaginary woman and kid don’t actually exist,” Ghost deadpans, unimpressed.

“They exist!” Gaz insists, voice edging on exasperation.

“Sure,” Ghost replies, his tone flat and thoroughly unconvinced.

Roach snickers, then glances over at Price—only to see him staring slack-jawed through the window of a nearby café, his cigar dangling from his mouth, forgotten.

“Cap?” Roach says, touching the older man’s shoulder.

Price doesn’t look away, nodding toward the café. “Found them.”

Everyone turns toward the café, eyes landing on you and Adira. The little girl is happily weaving between your legs, her tiny hands gripping your coat as she entertains herself, all while you order hot chocolates to fend off the winter chill. A soft smile touches your lips as you watch her play, blissfully unaware of the audience gathering just outside.

The barista, with a warm smile, hands over two cups, one with a little extra marshmallows for Adira, her voice bright as she wishes you both a merry Christmas. You take the cups with a grateful nod, handing one to Adira. She immediately takes her drink, sipping eagerly, her small feet bouncing on her heels from the sugar rush.

“Yummy?” You ask, glancing down at her with a soft smile, a wave of motherly pride swelling in your chest as you watch her delight in the simple joy of her drink.

Adira nods eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she pulls away from her straw with a satisfied sigh. “Yummy.”

With a soft chuckle, you both leave the warmth of the shop, stepping out into the crisp air. Hand in hand, you walk back toward the park, the world around you feeling peaceful despite the cold. As you reach the crosswalk, you stop, waiting for the light to turn. Adira looks up at you, her little face filled with contentment as she swings your joined hands back and forth, her sugary energy still buzzing.

Across the way, the team stood frozen, unable to look away from the scene unfolding before them. Everyone but Ghost was struck by how much Adira looked like him—her features unmistakably mirroring his, save for the color of her hair and skin. The resemblance was uncanny, and for a brief moment, it felt like the world had stopped around them.

“She looks nothing like me,” Ghost stated plainly, his voice cutting through the stillness as though it were fact. His expression was unmoving, a wall of stubbornness in his eyes. He was ready to die on that hill.

Then, as fate would have it, a woman walking her dog passed by, and Adira’s cherub-like face hardened into a cold, calculating stare. It was subtle, but unmistakable. 

“Nevermind,” Ghost muttered, his earlier conviction faltering as he watched her shift before his eyes.

“So… you’ve been having fun these past years?” Roach asked, his gaze flicking between Adira and Ghost, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Not that I know of,” Ghost grunted, his eyes still locked on you and Adira, a mix of unease and something else flickering across his face. He couldn’t pull himself away.

“Let’s get closer,” Price commanded, already making his move. Soap and Roach exchanged a shrug, falling in line without hesitation.

“Excuse me?” Gaz sputtered, though his body had already begun moving before his brain could catch up, unable to defy the Captain’s order.

Ghost fell silent, teeth gritted. This wasn’t a situation he was used to, especially not one where he was forced to go in blind. He stood stiffly at the crosswalk, trying to hide his glances, his focus split between the team and you.

Soap ended up the closest, standing just next to Adira. The little girl paused, her big, doe-like eyes lifting from her drink to catch sight of him. The recognition was instant. Her lips pursed into a small line, and her gaze grew heavy with annoyance. 

“Ugee…” she whispered, scooting closer to you.

Soap froze, his mind stuttering for a moment. Did she just—? Did she call me ugly?

Gaz, standing behind him, couldn’t contain himself. A muffled laugh broke through as Soap turned to look at the others, wide-eyed and speechless, completely taken aback.

“Do ye lot think I'm ugly?” Soap asked, his voice thick with disbelief, clearly thrown off by the little girl's words.

“Not the time, Mctavish,” Price said, a tiny laugh tugging at the corner of his lips despite the situation.

The streetlight flickered green, signaling it was time to move. You adjusted yourself, ready to cross the street. Each member of the team started mentally preparing, unsure of how—or even if—they should approach you. Ghost, however, was the first to make a move, determined to intercept you. But Soap, ever the opportunist, beat him to it.

Ghost wasn’t exactly subtle, and having him try anything would probably send you running in the opposite direction.

“Excuse me, aren’t you the lady from the train?” Soap called out, his voice light, though his intentions were clear.

You paused at his interruption, recognition flickering in your eyes. You remembered the man who bumped into you earlier. “Yes? Is something the matter?”

“Do you happen to know where I could find Leslies?” Soap asked, a hint of uncertainty creeping into his voice, though he tried to mask it.

“The pub?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Soap confirmed, his face lighting up with a mix of relief and surprise at your easy response.

You look around for a moment, trying to remember and see the street names of your current location. “Uh…it should be about a couple blocks south from here. They have a big sign, you can't miss it.”

Thank God for Soap, because that one question was all he needed to keep you trapped in a conversation, his charm working its magic as you giggled and chatted away easily, the awkwardness of the situation melting away.

Meanwhile, Ghost’s attention shifted to Adira. He looked down at her, and she, almost instinctively, looked up at him. Their eyes locked in a silent staring contest, each of them studying the other. The intensity in their gaze was undeniable, both sets of eyes reflecting the same quiet, unwavering strength. It was like looking in a mirror—a mirror that mirrored back his own hardened stare and no-nonsense attitude.

Adira was, quite literally, his mini me. The resemblance was impossible to ignore.

“How old are you?” Ghost asked bluntly, his voice low as he kneeled down to Adira’s height, his gaze intense but trying to soften.

Adira paused for a moment, glancing up at you for help, but you were still caught up in conversation with Soap. She turned her focus back to Ghost, her small fingers fidgeting with the hem of her coat as she murmured shyly, “Two…”

She was two. Two. Ghost’s mind raced, trying to piece together the details, but nothing clicked. Nearly three years ago… what had he done three years ago? He kept everything categorized, stored in his mind like a well-organized file system, but this was something that didn’t fit.

Then, Soap’s voice broke through his thoughts. 

“You don’t seem like the type of lass to frequent Leslies.”

You giggled, a soft blush creeping up your cheeks at Soap’s question. He wasn’t wrong… at least, not entirely. “I’ve only been to Leslie’s once, and, well… it’s how I ended up with my little blessing.” You glanced down at Adira, the warmth of your smile radiating as you spoke.

Everything shattered in that moment. Ghost’s stomach twisted painfully, his heart skipping a beat as the realization slammed into him like a freight train. Leslie's. Almost three years ago, during that stupid holiday.

His mind began to piece it together, the hazy memories from that night slowly coming into focus. He remembered the bar, the laughter, the way you had caught his attention. You were easy on the eyes, easy to make laugh, and most importantly—unlike everyone else. You didn’t ask questions, didn’t pry, you just let him lead, let him slip into the night with no strings attached.

But now, as he looked at Adira, everything fell into place. The way she stared at him, those familiar eyes, the resemblance he couldn’t ignore. His breath hitched, and the weight of the truth crushed him—she was his daughter.

A knot formed in his throat as he tried to process the fact. Adira. His daughter. The little girl standing before him was his flesh and blood, the result of a moment he'd long since buried in the depths of his mind.

---

Taglist: @auradaniela98-blog-blog @cumsluut @unstqblecvrses @moraxnomora @serafina-nyx @sage-burrow @skylarmitchell @xx-wal1flower-xx @n-y-x04 @gluttonybiscuits @imahugenerdlol @wehrgabriel @blackhawkfanatic @tazuduck @soxocs @jingyuansspouse @cutiecusp @sleepyoriana @forgottensomewhere @puppylikethedog @spongelistener @caged-birdies-blog @bubblegirll26 @misscaller06 @fuckbananas03 @watu2ka @yukisdelusional @redroserabbit

[slayfics]

Katsuki struggles to let you do things on your own.

650 words

Katsuki painfully watched as you fumbled around with the shampoo bottle attempting to pop open the top.

"Here," he grumbled snapping open the top, eliciting a sigh from you.

The room was filled with steam from the hot water that rained out in the shower. You had been home from the hospital for a few days following a major injury from hero work. Even though the doctors recommended that Katsuki let you do things on your own, he was having difficulty staying back. Including, accompanying you into the shower.

"Kats," you sighed. "You're supposed to let me do things on my own," you reminded him.

"I just opened the damn shampoo bottle," he said, but his eyes watched as you struggled to squeeze the shampoo out onto your hand. Hands barely being able to hold back from taking the bottle again to lather your hair for you.

Your hand strength wasn't back yet, and all your movements were painfully slow, making the most mundane tasks a challenge. Including squeezing shampoo out of a bottle.

"Want help?" he mumbled, being unable to contain himself.

"No," You snapped stubbornly. Frustrated at him, but mostly with yourself and your inebriated movements.

Katsuki's eyes snapped away from you, a small gesture that signified you'd hurt him.

You sighed again, finally getting enough soap in your hand to begin running it through your hair.

"I'm sorry Katsuki, I know this is hard for you," you sympathized with him.

"The hell do you mean hard for me? You're the one that's struggling to wash your damn hair," he pointed out. "Just let me help, brat."

"Katsuki if I don't start doing what I can on my own I'm never going to fully recover. I have to do it on my own even if it's hard or takes me way too long," you said refusing his help again. Katsuki grunted in annoyance.

"I get it, your love language is acts of service, so this is hard for you to not be able to do things for me," You clarified your early statement.

"You talking about that dumb test you made me take ages ago?" he asked, eyeing your slow movement as your fingers ran through your hair to work the soap in.

"Mhm," You hummed, placing your head back to let the water run over your hair. Satisfied, you moved out of the water again. "You show love by doing things for me, so this has to be torture for you to watch me struggle, but I have to. I want to get better." You explained. "Maybe just pretend your love language is something else while I recover," you joked.

Katsuki clicked his tongue, "Like what words of affirmation? I don't think so," he said.

"Awe, you did pay attention to the test!" You cooed at him. "Yeah, give it a shot, affirm me with your words" You joked, grabbing the conditioner bottle now and starting the painfully slow process again.

Katsuki watched as you struggled but eventually popped the top open, "Wow babe you're doing great," he said sarcastically, enticing a laugh out of both of you. "Fuck that was awful," he chuckled.

"What? No! That was good!" You laughed, feeling pain in your belly from your deep laugh. It had been a while since you'd laughed that hard.

"Fuck no, ain't doing that cheesy shit again," he stated.

"Fine fine," you agreed, laughter barely subsiding. "How about quality time then, just stay next to me, and when I need help with something I promise I'll ask," you suggested, washing your hair under the water again.

"Alight," he agreed.

"Here," you said handing him a loofah. "You can do my back for me."

You hadn't noticed how much tension Katsuki had been holding until his shoulders dropped and face relaxed at finally being able to help you with something.

"Thought you'd never ask," he smiled.

[jnnul]

nouvelle vague

a/n: i've been in a fever dream writing this fic, honestly. i kinda just needed to write it. it means so much to me that i did though because it's something that i wish that i had learned earlier and i just love this fic so much please love her like i have. and a huge HUGE thank you to xixi and soph for beta reading! couldn't have made this fic possible without you <3 quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

word count: 13.3k

tags: college au!, confusing love, y/n who can't get her life together, self-destructive mc x perfect donghyun with a sprinkle of best boy dongmin, so many good friends and so many lessons to be learned

warnings: explicit detail of sex (oral, foreplay, angry sex, unprotected sex...) underage drinking, and general college shenanigans! also heavy detailing of unhealthy relationships with stress, and academic pressures :(

playlist: nouvelle vague - wave to earth, fairy of shampoo - dosii, she - jannabi, 0310 - yerin baek

THERE WERE LOTS OF THINGS THAT YOU KNEW NOT TO DO.

don't leave the gas on, don't let sanghyeok lee cook anything, and don't get into pointless arguments with dongmin han that he gets overly competitive about winning.

"...which is why you've got to trust me when i say that mbti is a science that you can actually trust!"

"i don't know, min, i just think mbti is stupid. it's a pseudoscience at best, and that too is a complete overstatement," you say off-handedly, more preoccupied with finding the book you needed to write your essay on. dongmin scoffs, pressing a steepled hand to his chest in offense as he pulls down the book you were look for with the other.

"that sounds like something an intj would say," he counters, withholding the book from you. you stare at him unimpressed, arms folded over your chest.

"it sounds like something a logical person would say," you retort, waiting for him to relent and return your book. this behavior (much to your dismay) was nothing new and you knew your best friend well enough to just wait out his tantrums for you to be able to move on with your life.

dongmin looks at you expectantly and you sigh, hanging your head. "alright, alright, i'm not a logical person; i've just got a stick up my ass. are you happy now?"

your best friend harrumphs proudly and touches the book to both of your shoulders, as though he were knighting you. you roll your eyes and snatch the book from him, hugging it close to your chest for fear that he might steal it from you again.

"maybe if you actually had a stick up your ass once in a while, you wouldn't be such a killjoy all the time," dongmin snorts, narrowly dodging you when you wind up to smack him with the book (read: weapon) in your hand.

"alright so now since i haven't had sex in a while, i'm a killjoy?" you say as the both of you make your way back to the study room that you'd reserved in hopes that you'd actually get some work done today. although, you should've been wise enough to give up on such nonsensical ideas the moment dongmin texted/warned you that he would be gracing you with his presence.

"i still can't believe you won't tell me who you had sex with last. and besides, i don't think you're a killjoy," dongmin clarifies, opening the door for you to walk through. "but everyone else does."

"because i'm voluntarily celibate?"

"because you never go out anymore! you used to be so much fun, y/n. you used to be the girl that would have crazy stories from when she would party until five in the morning. the one who'd have boy after boy lining up in front of her door just to see if they would get a chance with you. not to mention the fact that you used be able to drink us all to shame. i still think you're an awesome and fun person without doing any of those things but i miss you sometimes, you know? i just can't help but wonder where that girl went and that's why everyone else can't understand why a person like you and i can be best friends when they see us now. because they don't know what you used to be like."

you sigh, tucking your hood over your shoulder as you begin to analyze the work in front of you.

"i didn't go anywhere, min and you know that. i don't care what other people think as long as my best friend knows the truth. and besides, that lifestyle was never going to be a sustainable one. i just decided that i wanted more out of life than just parties and bad grades," you explain patiently, eyes never leaving the neatly organized papers in front of you.

dongmin huffs and leans backwards into the booth, but he knows it's the truth. while he'd become friends with you because of your rambunctious and adventurous spirit back in freshman year, he'd chosen to remain best friends with you even later on because you were a good person - an ambitious person who wanted to make something out of their life.

"you can have both, you know," he mumbles and you smile gently at him before looking back down at your book.

"i know. you can have both because you were smart and made sure your grades never slipped. i didn't do that and now i'm paying the price," you remind him, and you can sense dongmin's protest about your self-deprecating statement bubbling up but he's interrupted when the study room door opens and a series of people begin to file in.

"hey, so sorry to have to kick you out but we have the room reser - wait. dongmin? what are you doing in a study room, man?" one of the men who'd walked in says.

you don't pay attention to the people walking in as you begin to gather your materials, leaving the socializing to your much more extroverted best friend. you check your watch, cursing under your breath when you realize that you'd spent too much time looking for the book and dongmin’s antics. you were supposed to switch from this study room to the one next door, because that one was available for a long period of time but only opened up right as the current one was going to be occupied.

"eh, i just came to bother y/n," dongmin says with a bored tone that everyone in the room knows is a front. "what are you guys doing here? don't you have a musty basement to throw a rager in?"

this leads all of the men and women who walked in to snicker, pointing at the poor soul who'd decided to take it up with dongmin today.

"you're basically in the frat too," the man protests and you finally register him to be jeongwoo park, one of dongmin's heaps of friends in the tsr frat.

"yeah but you have to pay to drink your own alcohol with your own dues," dongmin points out, snickering at jeongwoo. "i drink your alcohol for free."

"i say we ban this kid from our parties," another voice, hyunwoo kim pipes up, and a chorus of 'yeah's' and 'shut up jeongwoo' rise up simultaneously from both sides of the conversation. you fail to keep in your giggle as you watch dongmin get banned from the tsr frat in realtime (that you know he's going to charm his way out of somehow anyway), causing some of the people to turn their attention to you.

"y/n! how are you babe? it feels like it's been a century since we've last seen you!" one of the girls, jihyo han, says warmly and you give her a shy smile.

"i'm doing alright. swamped with projects," you say, lifting your arms up to showcase the number of books and papers you were balancing and doyeon coos sympathetically.

"that's what double majoring in english literature and architecture does to you but the woman doesn't listen to me," dongmin says, jostling you jestfully. you turn to chide him for pushing you when you accidentally lose grip of all of your work, causing it to tumble to the ground in what feels like slow-motion into heaps of unorganized messes.

"dongmin!" you hear hyunwoo scold as you swoop down to gather everything into your arms once more. another figure joins you on the ground, scooping papers into a neat stack with nimble fingers and strong arms. you look up to make eye contact with donghyun kim, immediately averting your eyes when you do, afraid of what he might find in them if he kept looking at you for too long.

"thanks," you mumble when donghyun hands you the papers he's collected and he just offers you a soft smile.

"it does feel like it's been a while since we've seen you around, y/n. even sanghyeok complains that he hasn't seen you at their place lately," donghyun says gently and you're left to shrug helplessly as you adjust to grasp at the stray pages more carefully.

"ah. yeah. i haven't really gone over to dongmin and sanghyeok's place lately because i've been in the library most of the time," you say and donghyun nods, silent as he watches you with that knowing gaze that sets your every nerve on fire.

sometimes, you wonder if donghyun knows how much of an impact he has on those around him just by the way he looks at them.

you don't have feelings for donghyun - at least no feelings worth discussing with anyone and none that you were ever willing to recall - but you're sure that pretty any one with a pair of eyes and a functioning heart could acknowledge just how attractive he was.

you were almost 99.99% sure that even if what had happened between you and donghyun hadn't happened, anyone's heart would skip at least once when they talked to him.

"i'm gonna go to the other study room," you announce hurriedly to no one in particular and dongmin takes it as his cue to bid his friends farewell as the two of you make your way to the study room.

"feel free to come to our room if it gets too loud or crowded in here!" dongmin yells over his shoulder, much to your dismay and to the chagrin of the librarian sitting at her desk a few yards away.

"sorry!" he exclaims, equally as loud, and the librarian just rolls her eyes with a forgiving smirk tugging at her lips. of course dongmin had managed to charm her too. you'd be surprised if your best friend left anyone with two legs and a heartbeat on this campus without at least an attempt to get into their pants.

or vice versa. mostly vice versa.

"oh that reminds me. sanghyeok asked me if you wanted to come to movie night this friday. you've skipped out on the last three because of work and exams but you're finally gonna be submitting all the big ones by this thursday so i don't want to hear any excuses on why you can't come to movie night. alright? alright. besides, all of the guys from our - your freshman year are gonna be there. and also, sanghyeok is gonna bring his girlfriend too so you won't be the only girl," dongmin says, his words firing out of his mouth in rapid succession.

you just nod in understanding, knowing that this shouldn't be the hill that you died on when it came to dongmin's antics.

"and i also may or may not have promised that you'd come to jaehyun's party on saturday," dongmin adds sheepishly and this finally catches your attention.

"movie night is one thing but a party is another thing, dongmin! is it a frat party or a clubbing type event? how long is the event? do you need me to send a present for him or something? isn't it his birthday soon?" you interrogate and dongmin just throws a pencil at you and puts his index finger to his lips to shush you.

"woman, do you ever shut up?" he sasses, immediately raising his hands in surrender when your eyebrows lift so high, they disappear into your hairline. "what i mean is, jaehyun said that he would give me the number of that cute girl from your structural design class that you won't give me if you come to his party."

"how does he know her? and what does that have to do with my attendance at his party?" you ask and dongmin shrugs, leaning over the table.

"it's jaehyun. he knows everything about everyone," dongmin reminds you and you have to concede to that. "and i'm not kidding when i say that people miss you y/n. you're still that fun person when you're away from your work and people haven't seen that side of you in so long. you've gotta oblige jaehyun on his birthday, don't you think?"

"...i'll think about it," you say with a sigh after a few beats of contemplation. "as long it's not a 'rager in a musty basement' like jeongwoo's parties."

dongmin lifts three fingers solemnly. "scout's honor. it's not going to be a rager in a musty basement. now please. finish your work! i'm hungry and sanghyeok promised ramen from the ramen bar."

+++

to dongmin's credit, the movie night was actually a breath of fresh air from your constant cycle of work, school, and stress. sanghyeok's girlfriend, jayoon sim, was the sweetest girl you'd ever met in your life, back when you'd met her at the beginning of the year. she was very similar to sanghyeok in the fact that she was outgoing and on the louder side but it was heartwarming to see sanghyeok start to mellow out to balance her spark.

it wasn't as though sanghyeok was toning down his personality for her - if anything, the two of them were even more chaotic together - but he seemed to like riding the backseat of the conversation more often as jayoon went on some tangent or another of the plot of the movie.

which led to lots of moments where the movie was paused by one of the five boys present at movie night (more often than not, it was sungho park, who was more intrigued by jayoon's tangents than the movie itself) and lots of popcorn being eaten in those breaks.

and that was how you found yourself standing in sanghyeok's kitchen, popping another bag of popcorn - the fourth bag in the past hour. sanghyeok had offered but you knew from personal experience that sanghyeok plus any form of cooking equals fire.

you personally thought it was a talent to be that talentless at cooking but dongmin, sanghyeok's roommate and the unfortunate soul who had to put out said fires, was not nearly as amused as you were.

"do you need any help?" you hear a voice ask behind you. you turn to make eye contact with donghyun, standing in the space that separated the kitchen from the foyer where you could faintly hear jaehyun myung and dongmin get into yet another argument about the logistics of whether or not batman could feasibly buy the mona lisa.

"it's just popping a bag of popcorn," you answer. donghyun laughs, taking another step forward into the kitchen.

"and yet sanghyeok manages to destroy the bag and the popcorn every single time," donghyun reminds you and you shrug, slipping your phone into your pocket.

"it's hard to do. you have to give him that," you admit and he laughs again, shaking his head.

"touché."

there's a blanket of silence that falls over the conversation, the argument in the other room providing background noise so it doesn't grow awkward.

you knew donghyun wasn't much of a talker but at this point, you just didn't know what to say to him anymore. he wasn't a stranger to you - he was close to dongmin, and prior to that, you had been pretty close to the five boys. they'd been the boys that you'd gone out with most of the time during the second half of freshman year and the beginning of sophomore year.

donghyun had seen you in a number of embarrassing situations; granted, most of them were while you were blackout drunk, but the number of times that you were in asaid state during the first half of your college education was embarrassing enough.

and he'd seen you...he'd seen all of you. he'd seen too much of yourself and it made you want to stuff yourself deep underground so you could escape his knowing gaze.

so while donghyun kim was no stranger to you, this new version of you was a stranger to him.

it was an odd feeling: having the knowledge of a shared past that neither of you could fully relate to any longer, and having mentalities that extended in distinctly different directions in the present.

donghyun was the prime example of being able to have it all. from what you knew about him from the past three years of tentatively close friendship, you knew that he was a strong academic who would skip out on a party here and there to make sure he could study the next morning but could be convinced into having a good time pretty much anywhere.

you've heard of a good many adventures from dongmin just this year about how the five of them had found themselves in abandoned malls or parties at the college neighboring yours, which was infamous for its ability to throw a rager for pretty much any reason.

if anything, the strongest feeling that you felt towards donghyun kim was sheer, unadulterated, pure jealousy. how could one person be so well-balanced while it felt like you were fighting an uphill battle everyday just to get everything done?

that jealousy was what had landed you in the situation you were in now: filled to the brim with stress and ready to pop at any moment. it was also that envy which had led to that mistake at the beginning of sophomore year between you and donghyun.

"y/n? are you okay?" donghyun asks, waving a hand in front of your face. you blink, turning belatedly to open the microwave door, only to see that donghyun had already done it for you.

"sorry. i spaced out for a second," you mumble, and busy yourself by searching for a new bowl, seeing as the one in the foyer was still somewhat filled with popcorn.

"you really need to take breaks more often, y/n. i feel like the stress of constantly being on the go is getting you," donghyun echoes from behind you and for some reason, the concern in his voice makes you ashamed and angry more than anything else.

easy for you to say donghyun, you want to say. everything comes easy to you. you didn't fuck up like i did. you don't have to fight everyday to make sure that you actually have a future worth living for because you weren't young and stupid.

but all you actually say is, "yeah, you're definitely right."

you avoid donghyun's heavy gaze as you pour the popcorn into the bowl, silently willing him to go back to the foyer so you could simmer in your embarrassment in peace but to your dismay, he doesn't leave.

"you're incredibly intelligent and hard-working. but if you don't give yourself a break sometimes, you're just going to burn out. i wish you'd come back to us sometimes. you can't ruin your present for your future," he says softly, and suddenly everything is just too much.

his words strike a chord in your mind somewhere and you can feel your strong front start to crumble.

you want to yell at him, scream that he had no right to tell you how to live your life and that you were going to lay in the pile of sins that you'd committed. but for some reason, all you can do is try and fight back tears.

it makes you feel so incredibly embarrassed that you'd worked so hard for the past two years to ensure that you'd never slip up. that your mistakes from freshman year and the first half of sophomore year wouldn't catch up to you.

you'd worked on yourself, working on controlling your lust for going out and having fun. on not getting affected by when people would ask you to come out with them, only to reject them for fear of what would happen to your academics. you'd worked on not showing any signs of being tired or scared of your future.

just to cry. just to cry here in front of donghyun in sanghyeok's kitchen. not in the privacy of your home where no one could see you. but the exact place in front of the exact person that you didn't want to see you cry at all.

you hastily wipe at your tears, willing them to stay in the confinement of your eyes before you could let them fall in a place that would deliver such a blow to your ego or your social standing.

donghyun is taken aback, you can tell by the way that his usually impassive face has a hint of worry written into the lines of his forehead that crinkle as he watches you try to put yourself together.

"can you give this popcorn to the others? i just need to use the restroom really quickly," you whisper hoarsely, not daring to look at donghyun in the eyes as you rush out of the kitchen, trying your best to look alright and conceal the fact that you were crying in front of the five other people in the foyer.

you know you're unsuccessful though when you hear footsteps growing louder and louder as they approached the bathroom and it takes every ounce of your strength to keep from crying harder.

"y/n? you okay? you looked kinda hurried going into the bathroom." it's dongmin, and you contemplate for a moment before slowly opening the bathroom door, pulling him in and he immediately wraps you into a hug as soon as he sees your tear-streaked face.

"i'm okay. i just really need a hug right now," you manage to warble out, and dongmin's arms just get tighter around your shoulders. you try to come down, steadying your breathing as you try to keep fresh tears from falling down your cheeks when a knock sounds at the door.

"it's me," donghyun says and you want to curse him out. you want to tell him to leave you alone. that you didn't want to talk to him and that you wanted him to stop judging you and your choices. instead, you lean over, breaking away from dongmin, to click open the bathroom door.

"i'm so sorry," he says softly and you shake your head, giving him a mirthless smile.

"i've just been super high-tension for the past couple of days with all of the submissions and i just - i just kinda fell apart. sorry you had to see that."

donghyun steps forward, and dongmin steps back, letting go of where his arm was resting on your shoulder.

"i didn't mean to make you feel bad, y/n. i was just worried about you. i know what it's like to feel that kind of pressure and i just hated to see one of my...friends in that level of stress," he continues, glancing at dongmin when he says the word friend, and dongmin steps around you in the tiny bathroom to reach the door.

"i'm gonna leave you two alone. don't do anything i would do," he warns with a stupid grin and despite the situation, you find yourself laughing, threatening to throw the toothpaste at him.

"he's so dumb," you say under your breath and donghyun watches you carefully.

"he's a good friend," he remarks and you nod, pulling at the toilet paper to wipe your tears away.

"he's the best friend i could ever ask for," you agree and donghyun's expression doesn't change but his demeanor grows a little more hesitant.

"we all thought you guys were gonna start dating, you know. i mean, he's the one person who stuck by you through everything," he confesses and you immediately shake your head, the very thought of it making you want to gag.

"dongmin and i? no way. he's my best friend but i could never see him as my boyfriend. we're more like siblings than any sort of romantic relation; i'd fax his soul directly to satan if he asked me for my fries but i'd give my kidney to him," you explain and donghyun relaxes a bit, leaning against the wall behind him as he watches you clean yourself up.

"he hasn't talked to you about how much stress you're putting on yourself?"

"i'm doing fine, donghyun. i really do appreciate that you have my best interests in mind but dongmin's the one who's been there for every single step i've made. if he doesn't think that there's an extreme cause for concern, no offense, but i really don't see why you do."

donghyun has nothing to say to that, and although he probably should, he doesn't feel hurt at all. you were right. donghyun knew you as an outsider, compared to dongmin and even sanghyeok, and didn't know how much stress (or lack thereof) there really was in your life.

but he couldn't explain why he was so worried or why he missed your old troublemaking tendencies so much. or why he missed your strange ideas of a good time or unnecessary dialogues during movie nights. he couldn't explain why he missed the heat of your body on cold nights or why he replayed that fateful night in his mind over and over again.

this was the first movie night that you'd been to in a while from donghyun's knowledge but what did he know? he was only at this movie night because dongmin invited the old freshman/sophomore year gang to start their friday movie nights tradition once more instead of them just being sanghyeok, you, and dongmin.

so when you slip past him, not only does donghyun find himself at a loss for words, but he also finds himself more confused than he had been before your conversation.

at least he could figure it (whatever it was) at jaehyun's party tomorrow.

+++

the one redeeming factor of your attendance of jaehyun's party in exchange for dongmin's sexcapades, in your opinion, was that it was not in fact hosted in a musty basement.

jaehyun had taken it upon himself to host his party in the penthouse of his apartment (rich people had the strangest ways of spending their money), which was definitely a step up from what you were expected.

unfortunately, the sheer number of people in that party who were present, on top of the number of people who were surprised at your presence was more than a little bit overwhelming.

you'd forgotten just how loud these parties got, and if you weren't already over the legal drinking age, you'd be extremely worried about being caught dead near this many drunk people.

not that you hadn't done your fair share of illegal consumption of ethanol but that was something you chose not to dwell upon.

"Y/N! I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH SINCE YESTERDAY!" you hear someone scream over the obnoxiously loud music, and immediately, your vision goes black as jaehyun bearhugs you, clearly too drunk to be fully present in the situation at hand.

"jaehyun! happy birthday!" you manage to squeak out, hitting dongmin in the arm to pry jaehyun off of you. you'd convinced dongmin to stick with you the whole time during the party in exchange for you actually showing up and he'd declared that he'd serve as your bodyguard during jaehyun's party for times like these.

"alright bud, i don't think she's ever gonna come back to a party if you squeeze her to death," dongmin warns jaehyun, peeling the energetic boy off of you. jaehyun pouts, not looking unlike his dog (the cutest golden retriever named juno) as he shakes his head stubbornly.

"no! she has to come back! she's so much fun! she's the life of the party!" he exclaims, searching through the throng of people for a cup of whatever nasty concoction you were sure sungho had come up with.

you should've known better than to come to this party, you lament. any of jaehyun's parties always turned into ragers from the absolutely insane number of people that he knew.

but soon enough, jaehyun is shoving a cup into your hand, the suspicious liquid in it sloshing around dangerously as he teeters backward into a tall figure.

"careful, dude. you don't want to end up in the emergency room on your birthday again," the figure says, catching jaehyun's body in his arm.

you internally groan. donghyun.

"ugh no. i hated going to the emergency room last year for my birthday," jaehyun whines with a strong tone of sheer pout staining his words.

"that's what i thought. where's sungho?" donghyun asks, and you figure that sungho must've been put on jaehyun duty for the night, as the man was a total lightweight and was known for endangering himself more than anyone else whenever he had a single drop of alcohol in his system.

"sungho! OH MY GOD SUNGHO!" jaehyun yells, slipping out of donghyun's grasp in search of his more than likely tired friend.

"that guy needs a girlfriend," dongmin sighs and you roll your eyes.

"why? so some poor girl can get tasked with dealing with jaehyun's mess every time he gets drunk?"

"nah. every time jaehyun gets a girlfriend, he turns into such a clean drunk it's crazy. i think he subconsciously feels bad that his girlfriend has to take care of him so he does it on purpose," donghyun explains and you hum, examining the substance in your cup with a critical eye.

you never knew that jaehyun had had a girlfriend. or more than one girlfriend at that. you were pretty close with jaehyun once upon a time. why hadn't he told you when he started dating someone? had you really become that out of touch with your friends?

all because you decided that you didn't want to party anymore?

no. that wasn't it. your friends weren't people like that. it was probably because you declined every single invitation that they'd extended to you to hang out with them.

a guilty weight settles in your chest as you start thinking about just how many times your friends had invited you to do things with them over the past year and a half. in the moment, you'd always had something that you needed to do. something to submit, something to do for extra credit, something to do to get better grades.

but now that you looked back on the past year and a half, you could only remember the events they'd invited you to, and just a handful of truly important assignments you'd needed to submit.

"you don't need to drink that," donghyun says, extending his hand for you to deposit the drink into. dongmin looks between you and donghyun, confused by the sudden offer. donghyun never went black knight for anyone else - much less women he wasn't all that close to.

even when you were a well integrated member of their friend group, you had never been particularly close to donghyun, from what dongmin remembered. the two of you were close enough to embark on drunken adventures separate from the group maybe once or twice but definitely not close enough to mention those adventures to dongmin in explicit detail.

not close enough for donghyun to drink a drink for you.

it's clear that you think the same thing (for different reason, however) when you lift the cup to your lips, staring at donghyun straight in the eyes as you tip your head back, drinking all of the contents of the cup in one straight go.

donghyun smirks, watching you drink the whole cup, aware that you were proving a point to him.

you don't need to keep trying to worry for me. i can handle myself.

the message is clear in your eyes as you lock eyes with him, wiping the excess liquid on your lips with the back of your hand, the challenge explicit in the way you look at him.

"too much pride is no good for you," donghyun quips and you roll your eyes.

"it's not pride. i just know that i can handle my alcohol. i don't need you to worry about me or worry about whether i can or not," you retort. "you worry about me when i study too much. you worry about me when i party. when are you not worried about me donghyun? why are you even so worried in the first place?"

"because we used to be good friends," donghyun counters but his argument isn't all that strong, by the way his voice wavers when you step a step too close to him - so close that he can smell the cinnamon of your perfume.

"were we? we were friends, sure. but were we good friends, donghyun? we just went out together. we hung out with the group but we weren't all that close. not...not until... not close enough for you to be suddenly popping back into my life with advice that i don't need and i didn't ask for!" you can't help but raise your voice, searching blindly for dongmin's arm and dragging him with you, chest heaving in anger as you storm away from donghyun.

"what the hell?" dongmin is left to ponder. "has the alcohol already kicked in?"

+++

"don't talk to me right now," you seethed, pushing at donghyun's chest as you walked faster towards the rest of your friends, somewhere further up the street, laughing and shoving each other.

"i don't even know what i did!" donghyun exclaimed, using those stupidly long legs so that he was walking backwards, face to face with you. "why are you so fucking mad at me?"

"you seriously don't know?" you yelled, and you saw dongmin turn around to see what was taking the two of you so long, unaware of the bomb he'd dropped, but he's turned back around just as fast by sungho, who had an extremely drunk jaehyun on his back and clearly needed dongmin's help carrying their lightweight friend who was a heavyweight in body weight when drunk.

"i seriously don't know!" donghyun repeated, his arms flying up to show you how frustrated he was. of course he didn't know. there was no way that he could know just how upset you were with his perfection. of course dongmin had to mention that donghyun had a 4.0 gpa. of course he could come out every night with you and your friends and still maintain that gpa.

of course he didn't have to worry about whether he would even get a job in the future because he'd failed a class or two. of course he could go out every night. of course he could drink his weight in alcohol and still function the next day. of course he could get any girl he wanted just by looking at them for a second too long.

"i hate you," you whispered, almost as if the words had escaped the dark recesses of your mind against your own will.

"what?" donghyun asked incredulously, swooping down to catch the noxious words falling from your painted lips.

"i said, i hate you." your eyes were fierce, shining with a dangerous light that donghyun had never expected from you and had never seen before. you looked like the picture of peril, a knife poised at his throat, threatening to draw blood.

it was an emotion that was so raw that donghyun found himself leaning even closer, absolutely intoxicated by the reckless way that you refuse to hide the challenge in your eyes.

"are you guys coming or what?" sanghyeok call out from where the rest of your friends were, some ten yards ahead of you. donghyun waved him off, his stare never leaving yours.

"we're going back to my place. i've gotta show y/n something," donghyun yelled back and you can't help the sneer that draws upon your lips and if donghyun weren't beyond turned on, he was sure that he would find it a little concerning.

it wasn't everyday, after all, that one of your good friends mentions that she despises you. especially not a good friend that you found incredibly attractive.

the rest of them turned back around, leaving you and donghyun to simmer in this strange energy. competition, charged with something else much more primal - anger and lust.

the entire walk to donghyun's place is silent. it was just a five minute walk from where you'd split from your friends but those five minutes feel excruciating as you feel a dark sense of excitement sit deep in your core, making you feel split in two directions.

the first direction was much more logical: you were jealous of donghyun's ability to handle it all and you wanted to just yell at him and scream until your throat went hoarse.

the second direction was stronger and much less logical: you were incredibly drawn to donghyun and you wanted him to fuck your throat until it went hoarse.

same end goal, but different ways of pursuit.

the second direction ends up winning out when you found yourself pressed up against donghyun's door the second you step out of the elevator and into his studio apartment, donghyun walking you backwards so that you shut the door with the movement.

his lips stayed tantalizingly close to yours as he reached up to lock the door, his hand falling down so that it was cupping your cheek and his eyes search yours, looking for any sign of discomfort.

"look, are you going to fuck me or not?" you whispered harshly and he barks out a laugh, his other hand moving from where it was resting by his side to caress your waist.

"you've got so much anger in you, y/n. what did i do for you to hate me so much?"

"does it matter? i'm telling you to fuck me. either i leave without a heart to heart and you can jerk yourself off or i leave without a heart to heart but you cum inside a pussy tonight instead of your hand," you bit back.

donghyun's breath was shallow as he assessed you, making sure that you were in the right mind and could make decisions for yourself. if you really knew what you were asking for.

the thought of it pissed you off.

"i just don't know if this is a good idea," he admitted and you straightened up, hand reaching next to you to turn the doorknob. you didn't need someone who was going to be so apprehensive. so now you weren't even good enough to fuck?

"i'm leaving then," you said donghyun's hand immediately covered your own, pulling it back and over his shoulder so that one of your hands was resting at the nape of his neck.

you circled the other one to link your arms around his neck, forcing him to bend even further so that he was eye level with you now, lips so close that he can practically taste the flavor of your lip gloss.

"do you want me to leave donghyun? do you think this a bad idea?" you asked, purposefully letting the venom of all of your emotions drip into your voice. you're being unfair, you knew that, but it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter when he was so close and yet so far from you and you couldn't even think straight.

"fuck you." his voice ghosted over your lips, and the two of you stayed like that for a moment, equally proud and unwilling to be the one to give in and kiss in the other.

but donghyun's patience clearly wasn’t as strong as your ego when his lips pressed against yours, too gentle for your taste. you wrapped your arms a little tighter around him, letting him rest his hands low on your back, still too careful.

"i said i hated you and this is the best retaliation you've got?" you whispered, and it's like a switch turns on in donghyun's brain. his hands leave their position on your back to cup your cheeks harshly, tilting your head up so he could kiss you deeper.

you sigh against his lips, a smirk tugging at your own as you finally achieve the level of animosity you were looking for. you didn't want to have sex with donghyun. you didn't want to make love with him.

you wanted to be fucked. ruined. unable to think straight.

which was why you let him kiss you stupid, your lips swollen from the force of his own. it was as though the two of you were inseparable; his hands roamed your body freely, claiming every square inch of it for himself.

he tugged you forward harshly, lips never detaching from yours, hands reaching lower and lower until they finally settled on your ass, and you couldn't help the shallow gasp that left your mouth when he squeezed experimentally, a cocky grin melting into your kiss when he hears the soft noise.

he turned the two of you so that you were walking backwards as donghyun walked you into his bedroom, finally pulling away when your knees buckled as they hit the bed, making you fall backwards onto it.

he didn't even give you a moment to think as his lips descended on you once more, even more insistent and rough than before as he let you slip his leather jacket off his body.

his lips left yours, descending further down your body until they reached the hem of your strapless top, leaving wet kisses and blooming bruises in a heady rush.

"y/n, you have to tell me if you want me to stop." donghyun's voice came out strained and you knew that he was exercising every bit of self control to keep from fucking you stupid.

unfortunately, that was exactly what you wanted from him.

"donghyun. i'm not going to say it again. fuck me stupid."

that was all he needed before he was practically ripping at your top, pulling it off of you harshly before diving in to suck hickeys down your chest, unbuttoning your jeans at the same time.

he tugged them off in one motion, leaving you in nothing but a bandeau bra and your underwear.

"thought you were gonna get lucky tonight?" he asked with an eyebrow raised as he looked at your panties - which were fortunately, and unfortunately, the sexiest ones that you owned. lacy and thin and everything.

"yeah. thought i was gonna finally fuck sunghoon park again. that man knows how to fuck a girl into the headboard," you retorted and you could tell that you'd gotten under your skin by the way that he reached forward to pull at the strap of your panties, letting the elastic snap against your waist with a painful sting.

"you're such a little brat. you need someone to fuck that attitude out of you. didn't know you had such a fucking dirty mouth on you," donghyun growls, and you would've come up with some equally as brutal response when donghyun pulled his shirt over his head with one hand.

you'd seen donghyun shirtless before. multiple times, honestly, with the number of times dongmin tries to pull you guys into random bodies of water whenever he got drunk. but seeing him in that moment felt like your blood was made of lava that was coursing through your body, rushing to settle in your core.

"you're so pretty but you're so bitchy sometimes, you know that?" donghyun taunted, hovering over you so that his gold necklace hit the bridge of his nose as he leaned over, pushing you up the bed so that your head hit the pillows.

"heard someone was gonna fuck the attitude out of me?"

donghyun smiled a wolfish smile, and pulled your underwear down, almost painfully slow as he watched you squirm, clearly unhappy with his pace.

he threw them behind him somewhere that you knew you were going to have to search for in the morning but it didn't matter in that moment.

no. all that mattered was that donghyun's lips were on your core, licking an experimental stripe, grinning proudly when he saw you shiver. he dove back in, enthused by the groans leaving your lips.

his lips were unrelenting, his tongue darting out to dip into your pussy, leaving you at his mercy. your hands reached out to tug on donghyun's hair insistently, incredibly overwhelmed by just how good he was making you feel.

"fuck. pull harder," he groaned, his hot breath fanning over your pussy, causing goosebumps to run up your spine.

you giggle, a sound that sounds out of place in such a situation, but you didn't care and obliged, pulling on his hair even harder. he groaned, leaning in to eat you out with even more vigor, his hands on your clit and rubbing at it in just the right motion. you'd laugh at his conflict if you weren't otherwise preoccupied with the hot ball of pleasure growing in your core.

donghyun watched you carefully as he pulled away, instead replacing his tongue with just one finger, waiting to see if you'd show any signs of discomfort. when you didn't, he moved his finger in and out slowly, adding another when he noticed you started to get impatient with his ministrations.

"trust me, there's nothing i want to do more than to fuck you dumb. but i can't do that if i can't be convinced that i'm not to break you in half with my cock," he whispered.

"i don't think you're big enough for that," you snarked back and donghyun just offered you a shit-eating grin and added another finger, watching for any sign that you might tap out. holy fuck. was he actually that fucking big?

he picked up the pace, fucking you faster and rougher, his fingers slipping out for just a moment as he adjusted himself so that he was laying next to you before continuing again at an even more brutal pace.

"fuck!" you can't help but yelp, one of your hands finding one of donghyun's, as his fingers move at almost mind-numbing speeds.

"i told you someone needed to fuck the attitude out of you. now look what you've done to yourself," he crowed almost condescendingly. if you weren't so blinded by the sheer pleasure of his fingers, you'd probably cuss him out.

"fuck, fuck, fuck! fuck donghyun i think i'm gonna cum!" you cried out.donghyun simply nodded at you, and you took that as a sign to cum. but just as you start to feel yourself topple over the edge of the cliff you were standing on into the pit of pleasure, donghyun rips your pleasure away from you.

he pulled his fingers out of your pussy, watching you squirm and convulse as your hips bucked pathetically, searching for some way to taste the pleasure you were so close to attaining.

"baby doll, you should've known better than to assume that i'd let you cum for the first time on my fingers rather than my cock," donghyun preened mockingly, kicking his own jeans off in the same motion as his briefs.

"fuck you, donghyun." it was all you managed to conjure up through your tears as you tried to catch your breath, only to have to wind knocked out of you once more when you caught sight of donghyun's cock.

"oh hell no, that's not going inside my pussy," you gasped, and donghyun smiled despite himself, and ran his fingers over your hair gently.

"it's big but that's why i prepped you so much, isn't it?" his tone makes it clear that there's no real question in his words. you were the one who'd said you wanted to be fucked stupid. donghyun was the one to make good on that wish.

"just go slow," you grumbled and donghyun nodded, lining up at your entrance carefully.

"can't promise that i'll go slow for too long - fuck!" donghyun cut himself off as he slipped the tip of his dick into your hot core and immediately, both of you let out a groan.

if just his tip was enough to make you feel a stretch after he ate you out and fingered you, you had no idea how you were going to fit the rest of him inside you.

if just the entrance of your pussy was enough to have donghyun's head spinning, he had no idea how he was going to fit the rest of him inside you without immediately coming.

he slid in slowly, forearms resting on either side of your face for stability, that stupid gold chain smacking you in the face with his every slight movement.

it would feel degrading if you weren't turned on beyond belief, you were pretty sure.

"god," you let out softly and donghyun couldn't help but agree as he sheathed himself completely inside you. if donghyun would be allowed to see the pearly gates of heaven, he was vaguely sure that it would feel a lot like this.

"tell me when i can move," he grit out, exercising his self-control to the fullest he's ever had to.

"you can move," you whimpered, equally close to losing your mind.

he pulled out so that just the tip was in your pussy before snapping his hips forward, knocking the breath out of you with the motion. he continued that agonizingly slow  until both of you got fed up, and finally picked up the pace.

"your pussy is perfect, you know that?" he growled, fucking into you with fluid and quick motions that make you feel as though you've established permanent residence on cloud nine.

"you're not too bad yourself," you huffed out and a short breath leaves donghyun as his movements grow harsher.

"clearly i'm not doing a good job of fucking you stupid if you can respond to me," he said.

he made good on his promise that night, fucking into you deep and rough until you both came in a symphony of moans, chests heaving as he collapsed next to you, utterly spent.

maybe if you'd said something other than what you did in that moment, things wouldn't have turned out this way. but the reality was that it was those words that ultimately dug you into your grave.

you finally spoke some ten minutes later, when your brain wasn't so fuzzy you didn't know where to pick words from.

"i wish you weren't so fucking perfect, donghyun. i just can't...just forget this happened. please. it's not like we're going to get into a relationship because of this. and i don't want to face our friends right now. so just forget any of this happened."

you'd gathered your clothes and dashed out of his apartment, the buzz from earlier in the night completely gone, along with any chance of donghyun ever figuring out why from that day onwards, you'd started completely avoiding your friends and your past, running towards a future you so desperately wanted to grasp, even if you didn't know how to.

and as he fell back against his sheets, facing the ceiling, donghyun realized just one thing: something in you had changed. but was it for the better or for the worse?

+++

dongmin lets out a low whistle, followed by a crinkle of his nose.

"you could've let out the explicit details, you know," he bemoans, pressing his hands over his ears, as though he could reverse time and delete the story you'd revealed to him from his mind by doing so.

"you said you wanted to the whole truth on why i was being so bitchy to dongmin," you point out and dongmin inclines his head towards you, pulling his knees a little closer to his chest.

"you were kinda unnecessarily bitchy, though, you have to admit. but what i really asked was why donghyun decided to go all black knight on you, to which i still haven't received a proper explanation.," dongmin corrects and you shrug, accepting the packet of gummy bears that dongmin had produced from his back pocket.

in freshman year, you'd become infamous for chasing your shots of vodka (the only alcohol you chose to drink, other than whiskey) with candy and ever since then, at least one of your friends would always carry a packet of some sort of sweet candy on them for you.

"you brought gummy bears for me?" you ask, touched as you rip the packet open, the perfect level of fuzziness buzzing through your head.

"sungho brought gummy bears for you," dongmin says softly and you look at him surprisedly. "when i told him you were coming to jaehyun's party, he told me that he needed to be prepared. they all miss hanging out with you and going out with you, you know."

"they miss hanging out with who i used to be. i don't think that they'd want to hang out with me now," you snort and dongmin immediately slaps your knee, shaking his head.

"you've gotta stop doing that."

"doing what?"

"doing the whole 'woe is me' act when you just grew up. we all grew up, y/n. maybe you haven't seen it because you've been so busy in your own world, trying to make up for the past but we've all grown up right besides you," dongmin rants, getting up from where he was sitting on your balcony, starting to pace back and forth.

"when you pulled away from us, you know how confused we all were? it was like one day, you were laughing and making jokes with us and the next day, you suddenly hated us. you stopped coming to our hangouts, stopped initiating plans, fuck, you didn't even come to sungho's birthday last year!

"we thought that we did something to piss you off. we interrogated donghyun for weeks but he was just as confused as the rest of us. and then i realized just how lonely you were by yourself. you think i didn't notice how you'd watch us hangout in the library without you? about how you left that stupid neck pillow for sanghyeok when you saw him staying up late studying? or when you paid for jaehyun's coffee when you knew he was having a bad day?

"i was the only one who saw all that. so when everyone asked me when i didn't drop you like you dropped us, i didn't know how to explain that you didn't drop us, but you were just going the wrong way about chasing after your future. i didn't want to out you and make you feel as though you needed to stop taking care of everyone behind their backs because i still wanted you to be with us.

"we all cared about you so much. that's why i've been here the whole time. i've been the only one in front of you but the same way that you've been taking care of everyone else, everyone has been taking care of you. who do you think lends me his car whenever i need to come to your place because you're having a bad day and need a shoulder to cry on? sanghyeok. who always keeps the pantry stocked with your favorite snacks in case you might come around one day? sungho.

"who always points out clothing whenever we go shopping and says 'y/n would love this shirt!', just to get upset when he realized you weren't there to respond? jaehyun. who would always nudge me to go and check on you because he was worried that you were putting too much stress on yourself? donghyun. even jihyo and jayoon ask about you and keep asking us if maybe you'd come over more often since there were more girls hanging out with us now.

"i'm not telling you all this because i want you to feel bad. i just needed to tell you because we've all been caring about you this whole time but you've just never let us in, when we've been knocking at the door, just waiting for you to finally open the door. and you just won't because you're so scared of coming back to us!" his chest is heaving at the end of his rant and you can't help it, leaping to your feet as you let your voice grow louder and louder, scratchy with emotion.

"i am scared dongmin! i'm so fucking scared, i can't even think straight! i miss all of you so much and i'm so scared that i'll fall into the trap of loving you all so much that that's all i spend my time doing and i'll neglect all of the hard work i've been putting in for so long to reverse the mistakes of my past!" you scream and dongmin steps even closer, clearly not backing down from this fight.

"and what kind of future are you going to have when you turn around and see that we've all moved on without you? i can't fucking move on without you because you're like my sister; i can't imagine a life without you but what about everyone else? how long do you think everyone's gonna be waiting for you?"

"i didn't ask them to wait for me!" you shout and dongmin runs his hand through his hair frustratedly, turning so that you wouldn't see the anger on his face.

"BUT THEY DID! THEY ALL DID! they all waited for you because they - we all love you, you stubborn piece of shit! all you had to do was tell us you were feeling this way! all you had to fucking do was talk to us and ask for help. but you pushed us away when you needed us most and now look!" dongmin points at the empty space around you, forcing himself to overlook your watery eyes. "look at who's here besides me? you know jaehyun would've wrapped you in a hug, that sungho would've immediately offered to study with you. that sanghyeok would've stayed up with you, even if he didn't need to. that i would sneak food into the library with you! that donghyun would literally sit down and tutor you if you needed him to."

he swallows when you finally break down, sobs wracking your body as your fists clench into balls at your sides, stubbornly refusing to take the one step you would need to for dongmin to wrap you into a safe hug, like the ones that jaehyun always gave you.

but it's okay, because dongmin takes that step for you, wrapping you in a tight hug that makes you finally feel like you can take a breath through the tears that feel like are choking you from inside out.

"i just wanted to be good enough for all of you. i wanted to come back when i was good enough and i thought i could be someone everyone wanted to be around if i was good enough," you sob and dongmin can feel his heart break as his embrace grows tighter.

"you're good enough the way that you are, y/n. you know how much you've inspired everyone? i've even started studying for tests the day before the test, instead of the hour before!" dongmin exclaims, feeling a little more relaxed when he hears you laugh through your sobs.

"that's not much better," you warble and dongmin just shrugs, never letting go of you.

"it's better than the hour before the test."

"dongmin? for the record, i don't think that i'm the only one who grew up. i know that everyone grew up. i just..."

"i know."

"i wish you were my actual brother."

"if i was your actual brother, i probably would've spit on you by now."

"what the hell."

+++

you wait nervously in dongmin's room as you hear people begin to file into the apartment, a jumble of familiar voices as jihyo and jaehyun begin bickering once again about something or another.

it was just a matter of time before the two of them started dating, you figured.

dongmin was betting on three weeks and you were betting on three months. something about the slow-burn of it all was appealing to you. dongmin insisted that fanfiction was just rotting your brain.

you let out a breath of air and dongmin flicks you on the side of your head, and you fix him with a mean glare as you rub the spot that he'd hit.

"they're just your friends, y/n. you don't need to be that nervous. you've been looking forward to this all week," he reminds you and you just nod, still rubbing the spot.

after the emotional conversation/argument with dongmin last week, you'd asked to come to the next movie night, wanting to start spending more time with your friends. and although you knew that it wouldn't be the exact same as it once was, it would never be and that was a good thing.

balance was a good thing.

"dongmin? where are you, motherfucker? i can't believe you made me buy you three different types of sour gummies, fatass!" you hear sanghyeok yell from the other room and dongmin takes this as his cue to drag you into the room with him.

"i only wanted one type. y/n wanted the other two. still wanna call me a fatass?"

dongmin doesn't get an answer to his question because no sooner has he said the words do jihyo and jaehyun bound over to you (not looking too much unlike juno) and wrapping you into nearly bone-crushing hugs.

"dongmin told us that you were going to be more available to hang out with us more and more and these two - " sungho cuts himself off to grab jaehyun by the scruff and jihyo by the collar of her shirt. " - have been a little too excited since he said so."

"we've missed you so much!" jihyo exclaims.

"you saw her last week," jaehyun mutters, groaning when jihyo smacks him upside the head.

"so did you but that didn't stop you either, now did it?"

"you're such a little bi - "

"alright. let's stop while we're ahead and just be happy that y/n's back with us, how about that?" dongmin proposes, the voice of reason for once in his life. jihyo and jaehyun exchange a dirty look (albeit, a very childish one) before the two of them sit down, leaving just you and dongmin standing awkwardly, as though you were about to give a presentation.

"uh. thanks for having me back guys. i kinda don't know what to say other than the fact that i'm sorry for leaving so abruptly. i struggled with hanging out with you guys and balancing a good gpa on top of that so i made some really stupid choices but i promise that i won't hide those stupid choices from you guys anymore. i just - i've just really missed you guys." your little speech clearly moves more than one person to tears but before jaehyun can try to deliver death by hug once more, sanghyeok claps his hands, pulling up some streaming platform or another on the television.

"thanks for that touching speech, y/n. now if you could get the fuck out of the way, we need to vote on a movie. your vote only counts as half a vote since you've missed more than two movie nights but you're welcome to rally for full membership after attendance of two more movie nights," sanghyeok announces and you roll your eyes, before looking for a spot.

dongmin's caught up in some conversation about that girl from your class with jayoon (undoubtedly doing some background research; as if he could find out anything that would make him actually keep it in his pants) and everyone else's spot is taken, leaving just an empty space next to donghyun.

i'm a big girl. i don't need to sit next to dongmin for everything. donghyun is still your friend at the end of the day. that you fucked. and was the last time that you had sex. and was also the best sex you'd ever had. but just a friend! haha. just a friend.

not the best dialogue to be running through one's mind during their re-debut into civil society (read: friend group) but you manage to divert your mind before it delves into dangerous territory.

"we're still friends," donghyun murmurs from beside you and you turn, despite your common sense telling you otherwise, to see him looking at you with the most genuine and twinkly eyes that you have to swallow and force yourself to turn once more to face the television set.

"yeah. friends," you repeat, softer than he'd said it and you can feel his stupidly sweet gaze on the side of your face.

+++

spending more time with your friends was nothing like how you thought it would be. for starters, it turned out that your friends themselves didn't have too much time to use as expendable time to just fuck around, like you used to in freshman year.

as juniors and seniors, most of your friends were occupied with their classes and their work, as opposed to the lighter coursework in earlier years. on top of that, many of them were either in relationships or were pursuing someone (or many someones, in dongmin's case) so there was more time eaten up by that as well.

but the time that all of you did spend together was much more domestic. equally as chaotic, as you'd discovered when you'd gone grocery shopping with just jaehyun and jihyo and no adult supervision from sungho (who'd trusted you to be the adult supervision), but less shenanigans than before.

instead of finding street signs to steal off the road to stash in dorm rooms, the friendship that had developed between your friends had gotten much more real, and there were more nights that you can count where at least one of you was staying up late to finish something so the rest of you were stuck helping them.

even staying up late to finish projects was more comforting with the presence of your friends, though, and you were so grateful that you'd come back to them. that they'd accepted you with open arms.

you'd had conversations with each of them one on one at some point or another, detailing why you'd left them so abruptly and asking for forgiveness but more often than not, you'd just gotten scolded for ever thinking that they wouldn't give you a chance to explain yourself.

"you were such a good friend to us for so long," sanghyeok had said. "you don't think we would just drop you when you're going through a rough patch, right?"

of course, that had led to another round of tears (which jayoon witnessed and went ham on sanghyeok for making you cry, which made you cry even harder because god, what country had sanghyeok saved for such an amazing girlfriend) but that was besides the point.

in fact, you'd made amends with pretty much everyone except for donghyun. you could see him waiting for you - waiting for you to reach out to him and explain yourself like you'd done so with everyone else, but for some reason, you just couldn't.

partly out of guilt, but also partly out of shame. you just couldn't help but avoid him.

it was easy to do so when it was all of you, since you could always rely on dongmin and sanghyeok to keep your attention otherwise occupied. but when it was just the two of you, after everyone has left the library to do things other than study for their innumerable tests, you can always feel the apology bubbling in your chest, threatening to break free.

but it never does. it never does and you know you're going to regret it.

you didn't have romantic feelings for donghyun, no. but he was someone that you could develop romantic feelings for and someone like that didn't deserve to think that you just hated him for no reason. because just going off of what had happened last year, donghyun really had no reason to think that you felt any emotion towards him other than hatred. and your actions prior to making amends with your friends didn't do much to dissuade that thought either.

which is why you didn't understand why he was still treating you with so much kindness. you were fairly sure that he wasn't head over heels in love with you or anything (especially since he's also had a good many girlfriends ever since your encounter) but you also couldn't come up with any other reason for his understanding.

he'd been the first one out of everyone to come and actually talk to you, four months ago in that study room, even at the risk of you pushing him away once more. he was the one that was most likely to be pushed away and he still looked after you, cared for you, and worried for you.

"you don't have feelings for me, do you?" you blurt out, immediately slapping a palm over your own mouth. donghyun looks up from the tablet his taking notes on with furrowed eyebrows.

"what?" he asks incredulously and you furiously shake your head, looking rather comical with your hand still covering your mouth.

"nothing. forget i said anything." you wince as you look back down at your book, ensuring that the references lined up with direct quotations as you mentally bash yourself. stupid, stupid, stupid. so you won't say that you're sorry but you'll do this? just be grateful no one else is here to see this catastrophe.

"i don't have feelings for you," he clarifies and you nod, unable to meet his eyes. of course he didn't have feelings for you. that would be so dumb. when you didn't have feelings for him, why should he have feelings for you? right?

so why did your heart just feel the tiniest bit tight in your chest?

"i don't have feelings for you but i used to search for you in every single party. even before we...we did whatever we did that night. i used to always look for you first. and i always used feel so happy just looking at you smile," he says. you look up, confused by his statement now. donghyun's looking right at you with those horribly confusing, glittery eyes and you feel your breath catch in your throat for a split second.

"what?"

"i said i don't have feelings for you. but when you pulled away from all of us, i just couldn't help but think if i did something wrong. if i did something to push you away. and i realized that i would rather have you hate me, i would rather have you push me away every time i come close, or even use me to vent your stress however you need rather than have you walk away once and for all," he continues and you feel that same tightness in your chest as he speaks, heat rising up your spine as it sits uncomfortably in your cheeks.

"i just wish you'd stayed that night. i could've convinced you to tell me all your fears and all your worries and i could've just gotten rid of them for you instead of you holding onto them for so long in your own mind," he finishes and you sit there in silence, unable to piece together any thoughts.

"so, uh, you don't have any feelings for me?" you confirm and donghyun rolls his eyes, and for just a split-second you see the dangerous glint that you remember from that night.

"you're an english lit major and you can't tell that i'm telling you that i have feelings for you?" donghyun teases and you just stare at him dumbly.

"i thought you said that you didn't have feelings?"

"and you said that you hated me."

"i don't hate you."

"i know."

and that's all the confirmation you need to spring forward from your seat, pressing a kiss to donghyun's lips. just as soft and as perfect as you'd remembered.

he reaches forward to cup your cheek, molding his lips against yours gently as you try to pour every single emotion you can into a single kiss.

"i don't hate you," you whisper, leaning your forehead against his, still standing up somewhat awkwardly due to the desk in between the two of you.

"i know," he repeats. "and i know that you don't feel the same way as i do. not as strongly as i do, at least. and i just want you to know that i'll wait."

"you'll wait for me?" you assure and donghyun nods, his hand reaching up to pat your head gently.

"i'll wait for you to take me back as a friend first and then we can figure out the rest."

"what if i'm never ready to put a label on our relationship?"

"then i'll just be here with you. i don't need a label for my feelings."

+++

it's not perfect. for all his perfection, donghyun kim had heaps of flaws. he was surprisingly 'needy' and felt anxious when you weren't with him for extended periods of time.

and when jaehyun, sanghyeok, and sungho graduated, you realized that it extended to far more than just you. for someone so stoic and poised, it turned out that donghyun was extremely soft-hearted and could care for nothing more than to have his loved ones around him for as long as he could hold onto them for.

it proved to be a little difficult, given that after your departure from your friend group, you'd gotten used to a certain level of independence and affinity for your own personal space that donghyun just didn't understand sometimes. but the two of you worked on it, because you loved each other even as just friends too much to not work on it.

there'd been points where you were sure that the two of you would just have to be friends and move on with life because of how hard it all was. you could never let go of donghyun fully; all of you were just too great of friends to ever be able to keep out of each other's lives completely.

but all's well that ends well, and you and donghyun learned to work through those issues. your affinity for running away when things got rough and donghyun's tendency to latch on harder every time you guys faced an issue was something that took months of serious discussion and communication to get through.

dongmin was the mediator more than once whenever the two of you got into arguments (you exploding at donghyun and donghyun just sitting quietly, making you even more upset before the two of you calmed down and worked things out) and it helped to have him around.

the one good thing was that your relationship, however imperfect it was, spurred dongmin to start to settle down and look for a girlfriend himself.

much to your happiness, and dongmin's chagrin, there weren't many girls on campus willing to date someone with such a reputation but that just meant that dongmin put in more effort to convince them that he was a changed man.

it was a good look on him, you'd told donghyun one day. dongmin suited having someone in his life that he had to work to please and someone who liked him regardless of his clumsy attempts at love and cared for him fully.

the three (four, when dongmin met his girlfriend) of you stuck together throughout the rest of college. there were still uncountable numbers of allnighters trying to make sure that you were maintaining your grades but it turns out, you could balance both having fun and being academically strong.

you could spend time with your friends and your boyfriend without having to worry about whether you'd be able to secure a job after college because of your gpa. it was nice, not feeling like there was a huge demon breathing down your neck every time you needed to sit down and study.

it'd taken you a long time to get there, but like all good things, with the help of your loved ones and with some self-work, you developed a healthy relationship with studying and a work-life balance.

oh! and you did end up getting a job. your dream job. right out of college. everyone had been so proud, just like you knew they'd be.

and just like that, years had passed by in the blink of an eye.

the five of you made it a point to reunite at least twice a year, since most of you were in the same country (other than sanghyeok and jayoon, who'd relocated back to south korea to take care of their parents after they got married). even five to six years later, when all of you were reaching the end of your twenties and entering the next phase of life, nothing changed.

"JAEHYUN MYUNG, IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME BACK THE TV REMOTE!" jihyo screams from downstairs, and you hear loud footsteps as jaehyun undoubtedly keeps the remote withheld from her.

"i can't believe they're the parents to two children," you snort, blowing on your nails to dry them quicker.

"i can. all that fighting energy has to go somewhere," donghyun retorts and you roll your eyes. he had a point.

"you've got a point. we've been on vacation for three days and they're already in their fourth argument. well. i guess it's just flirting to them," you contemplate, extending your hand to examine your handiwork.

"you thought that fighting was flirting back in college too," donghyun reminds you and you shake your head, looking at donghyun. and just like usual, he's already looking at you, head tucked into his fist as he lies on the bed that the two of you had slept in together for the past five years (vacation was hosted by your family this year).

"it clearly worked on you," you fire back and donghyun smiles a giddy smile.

"you're my weakness. anything you give me works on me," he says in a lovestruck voice and the laugh that escapes you is a real, full-bellied one.

"god. you're such a dork; i love you so much," you sigh, getting up and walking over to where he's lying, climbing onto the bed to wrap your arms around him.

"yeah? wanna channel our energy into making a few babies?" he teases with a greasy tone of voice and squiggly eyebrows.

"you're incorrigible."

"you love it."

"i love it," you agree, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss to his lips. you'd liked the darker sides of donghyun and there would always be a side of you that got giddy whenever you saw that side of him.

but you'd always love this more. soft, reassuring, and unconditional love. from him to you and you to him. neither of you needed perfection. you just needed each other. husband and wife. you didn't need those labels, and you'd believed donghyun when he said that he didn't need them for his love either. but it was nice, having everyone know that you had each other for life.

"ARE YOU WHORES COMING OR NOT? WE'RE GONNA START WATCHING WITHOUT YOU!" dongmin yells from downstairs, and you can vaguely hear his fiancée slapping him on the chest and knowing her, she was definitely telling him to shut up and let the two of you make her a niece or nephew.

you laugh, grabbing your husband's hand and leading him downstairs to plop down next to your friends. someone shoves a bucket of popcorn into your arms and you realize how grateful you were for all of the people in your life.

and how glad you were that you'd decided to forge a new path for yourself with your loved ones and with your newfound confidence in yourself.

love and life are always easier with friends and family, after all.

[bekolxeram]

A whole day late to @bucktommyfluffebruary's day 1 prompt: non-sexual intimacy. Inspiration strikes suddenly, what can I say?

You can also read it on AO3.

Golden Hour

rated G | 1027 words

“Morning, team!” Buck walks into the firehouse with an extra bounce in his step, looking the most carefree he’s been for months.

“What got you so… woah,” Hen begins questioning, but stops in the middle of the sentence once she fully turns around and takes a good look of her strangely jovial co-worker.

“What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” Buck instinctively touches his face in response to Hen’s reaction. He has a hard time deciphering her expression; She seems… surprised, astonished, but at the same time, shocked, and confounded.

“No! Not really. You seem… happier,” Hen puts on a reassuring smile, “but the bags under your eyes seem like they came straight from the Milan Fashion Week, and your hair looks like you’ve just rolled out of bed.”

The entire 118 bore witness to Buck’s post-Tommy heartbreak. Yes, he obsessively checked his phone and got addictive to baking, maybe he let his stubble grow out a day or two more than it should, but he never, ever, neglected personal hygiene or grooming. He always made sure to dress like a functioning member of the society before heading to work, what happened outside of shift was his own business.

“I used to know someone like this at school,” Chimney joins in. “His girlfriend dumped him just before summer break. Then he came back to school looking like a hobo, but at the same time, happy as the Buddha. He told me he went on a trip to discover himself.”

“But Buck was with us last shift, 48 hours ago. What life-changing destination could he have gone to in such a short amount time?” Hen furrows her brows in confusion.

“By trip, I mean an acid trip,” Chimney snickers, then he turns to face Buck in chorus with Hen, waiting for an answer.

“I can assure you, I’ve never taken any mind altering substance before coming to work. That would be irresponsible!” Buck objects, attempting to halt this dangerous speculation at once.

Just as Hen and Chimney are about to interrogate further, Eddie chimes in while slowly sipping on his coffee, “Buck and Tommy are back together without telling us.”

Gasps, then cheers fill the room.

“Wait, how? Did Tommy tell you?” Buck asks.

“No one told me anything,” Eddie takes another sip from his mug, “I can just tell, from your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Oh! Yeah!” Hen’s whole face is lit up by her realization, “the hair thing, right?” She vaguely gesture at her head.

“Exactly.” Eddie snaps his fingers at Hen.

“What hair thing?” It’s now Buck’s turn to be utterly confused.

“I don’t get it either,” Chimney turns his attention to his brother-in-law. “Is Tommy bad at picking shampoo? Or hair product? Can’t you just bring your own?”

“Um… I don’t know.”

“You’ll get it once you’ve spent enough time with them,” Eddie sighs.

“I’ve spent plenty of time with them. One is my oldest friend, the other is my brother by marriage!”

“With both of them together, as a third wheel,” Eddie adds.

Chimney grimaces. “Ugh, no! Is it a sex thing?”

“It’s appropriate safe in public,” Hen clarifies, “as long as you don’t find two people of the same gender being in love inappropriate.”

“Oh, okay,” Chimney nods in understanding, “but, what about the bags under your eyes?”

“Um… Tommy and I…”

Buck’s interrupted by Eddie.

“Stop. That one’s definitely a sex thing.”

It takes Chimney another few months to figure out what the “hair thing” actually is.

Buck and Tommy have been invited to dinner at the Han’s.

The four of them were anxious about the possible awkwardness, but Chimney and Tommy settle right back into their old buddy dynamic once the conversation starts flowing.

“I think you two fixed my brain when you showed up all sooty at the hospital. I was groggy all week, but connecting the dots that you guys had been making out? That was the first time I felt like I could finally think clearly,” Chimney recounts his experience coming down with viral encephalitis, and marrying the love of his life at a hospital.

“A hospital, what is it?” Tommy asks, barely containing his giggle.

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now,” Chimney bursts into laughter in unison with Tommy by the time his finishes his sentence.

“Um… What’s the joke?” Maddie asks, while both Buckley siblings frown, seemingly puzzled.

“Airplane! The greatest comedy movie of all time!” Chimney exclaims.

“And the most quotable,” Tommy supplements.

“Neither of you have watched Airplane? Tommy, you didn’t introduce your man to the most influential film in your life?”

The Buckley siblings shake their head.

“Alright, we’re watching it after dinner.”

Chimney has seen Airplane! countless times before. The simple, sometimes childish humor of this classic has been his go-to for years whenever he needs a pick-me-up.

He may have the ability to recite the entire movie from start to finish, but the source of the enjoyment now comes from watching his friends and loved ones’ reaction to this comedic masterpiece, to experience the amusement and wonder anew from their fresh eyes.

“We have clearance, Clarence.”

“Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?”

Chimney turns to focus on the viewers’ reaction, instead of the screen.

Maddie’s almost crying with laughter, while shoving a few kernels of popcorn into her mouth. Popcorn with butter and pickle juice, the exact snack she’s been craving.

Buck, on the other hand, is laying his head onto Tommy’s shoulder.

And Tommy, he absentmindedly anchors his hand into Buck’s hair, and ruffles the curls around.

Chimney himself would gladly push off whoever dares to touch his carefully styled hair, but Buck’s happily leans into his boyfriend’s touch.

“Is that correct phraseology in aviation?” Buck beams at Tommy, half flirting and half genuinely asking to satisfy his curiosity.

“Yeah, more or less. That’s why it’s a classic,” Tommy gazes back at Buck softly, hand still messing up the younger man’s hair.

Buck shows his dimples, nestles his head at the crook of Tommy’s neck, and continues watching the movie.

My brother is in good hands.

Chimney tells himself silently.

[witherby]

Heyyy

Soo this is a random / weird question, so feel free to not answer it.

I was thinking about how kids need to be taught proper hygiene / how not to be stinky and traumatized kids sometimes aren't taught. How do you think the bats would talk to Punchline about hygiene while making her feel comfortable and not being mean? Or would've the Joker taught her?

Sorry this is long

I think the Joker, despite winning World's Worst Dad by a fuckin mile, would at least teach her basic hygiene. Man rocks around in color-coordinated suits and has a theme/image to maintain. A stinky little girl isn't gonna help him with that, and I don't think he'd want to smell her all the time either.

But let's play in the space a minute. Let's pretend he taught her the absolute barest minimum. Punchline will brush her teeth, but not longer than 20 seconds. Punchline will shower, but doesn't use soap, just rinses off and scrubs her body in a half-assed manner. She can kind of style her hair, but any severely tangled/matted sections just get cut away and the remaining hair styled to hide it; she doesn't know about detangling or conditioner or cutting off the split and dead ends. Dirty clothes get dunked in some water and the stains a minimal scrub, then dried and re-worn. So on and so forth.

Alfred notices this first. When he comes by to read to her some more, he watches her take the provided toothbrush, wet it with just water, lightly brush it against her teeth, and then put it down again. He restructures his visits to include little lessons as well as reading. Luckily, she is very receptive to following orders.

Alfred got her teeth situation handled — with no cavities in sight, because she simply doesn't eat enough for it to be a huge risk.

Dick, as the one with the best looks, gets her hair under control. She gets introduced to the magic of clarifying shampoo and hydrating conditioner. He also introduces her to deodorant and perfumes.

Damian, red-faced, is the closest to her in age, so he teaches her what body wash is for and the best application practices for it while he's in a pair of swim trunks.

Bruce reaches her how to do laundry, trim her nails, and how to change the sheets on the bed she doesn't use.

At this point, Jason doesn't see her as worth the effort, and she isn't receptive to Tim being around, so they don't contribute to this stage in her rehabilitation.

It takes a little bit of trial and error — her gums bleed every time she brushes for a few weeks until her mouth acclimates to routine care, and a washing machine had to be replaced entirely because she used way too much laundry soap — but soon Punchline can be found carefully brushing through her emerald hair and changing into a new set of clothes every single day.

[missmeinyourbones]

hi!!! can i request megumi + "it's okay, we're the best of friends." congrats on the big milestone!! 🤍🤍

IT'S OKAY, WE'RE THE BEST OF FRIENDS (m. fushiguro)

L's MIDNIGHTS EVENT!

The only sound in your room is the cat clock ticking away on your wall, and you can't even hear it over the obnoxious thumping of your heart inside your throat.

Megumi sits like a statue on the corner of your neatly made bed, as awkward and out of place as he always does.

As if he isn't constantly coming over to your place. Like he doesn’t fall asleep on your couch at least once a week and knows that your shower’s water pressure sucks. That your shampoo is on the left and your conditioner on the right. 

He hasn't said anything, and you know he won't unless you do first, so you brace yourself to be the bigger person—even if you are mentally praying for a satellite to crash into your tiny two-bedroom apartment so you can avoid this stupidly awkward conversation. 

When it's apparent that there's no outside mishap (miracle) coming to interfere, you swallow your pride and open your mouth.

Fuck.  

"Look," you begin weakly, before clearing your throat and trying again, "I'm really sorry about… that."

That being your roommate referring to a blushing Megumi as your boyfriend when he showed up at your place for this week’s movie night.

And in your roommate's defense, it’s not even an unreasonable mistake on her end. You two don't really know much about one another's personal lives outside of work and the occasional passing kitchen conversation. And sure, Megumi visits a lot, and when he's not at your place, you're at his or out somewhere together. You suppose it’s not terribly out of left field for her to assume the two of you are an item.

But you’re not, and it feels like a pretty fucking big deal right now, as the two of you sit in the silence of your bedroom afraid to so much as swallow too loudly in fear of the other fleeing like a deer in headlights.

Megumi shrugs like he doesn’t care, but you both know he does by the way he fiddles with the hem of his sweatshirt sleeve. 

The action is halfhearted and his silence is so terribly loud that you have the sudden urge to overexplain yourself, so you do. 

"I think she just assumed since we're so close, and you’re always coming over, y’know? Not that that’s a valid reason to assume anything, or that there even is a valid reason at all, but I guess since you're a guy and—"

"It's fine," Megumi answers a bit too quickly. "I mean, we're best friends. People are bound to make that assumption sometimes, right?"

Though clearly flustered, his response is almost automatic, as if he's rehearsed his lines in his mirror for this very moment. It breaks your heart and somehow makes you feel special at the same time. Because sure, he’s letting you down gently, but he’s letting you down, gently. 

Shakily, you exhale and play it cool with a (totally not disappointed) nod, "Right." 

Wrong, your heart aches. It’s not often in your daily lives that people assume the two of you are together.

Or maybe they do, and you don't notice it anymore. Maybe you've become accustomed to the way the waitress at the diner you two go to on the weekend no longer asks if you want separate checks, but instead automatically hands the bill to Megumi and shoots you a wink. You're now immune to the way older couples coo when you two walk the streets, Megumi pushing you to the inner side away from the street. The way guys don’t really flirt with you at bars anymore, the way women no longer ask to pet Megumi’s dogs when you're by his side.

Maybe.

After a moment or two of you being lost in thought, Megumi clears his throat.

He speaks softly and casually, "Gojo does it, too."

His words confuse you, "What?"

Megumi second-guesses his nonchalant tone when he needs to repeat himself. He trips over his own tongue when clarifying, "He thinks—that we're like… together." 

Your throat suddenly feels like you've swallowed sand.

Gojo? The same Gojo who knows Megumi inside out? Who’s known you since you were sixteen years old, who pretended to ignore you sneaking in through Megumi's window and let you steal his cheap alcohol on Friday nights? Gojo thinks the two of you are together? 

"Oh," is all you can muster like a fool, before following it up with a meek, "he does?"

"He’s an idiot,” Megumi scoffs but nods. “Always calls you my girl, which I tell him is stupid and sexist when he literally knows your name, but he never listens." 

The words have your heart by the throat and again, all you can muster is a pathetic, "Really?"

"Yeah," he's not sure what possesses him to go on, but Megumi finds himself continuing. "Even just now when I left, he was on the phone with someone like ‘Megumi's leaving to go to his girl's place,’ or whatever."

The words set you on fire, and you think about how stupid that is. How simple words strung together can have such a huge effect on you. Words that if someone else said would mean nothing, might even make your nose scrunch in secondhand embarrassment. But here they come from Megumis lips, about you, and even if they’re from Gojo they still feel like something raw and buzzing with something sweet. 

"Just—don't feel weird about it, okay?” he feels the need to softly clear the air. “She's not the only one who does it." 

His words dance throughout your body like a drug as they play on repeat in your mind. Not the only one who does it.

Random people on the street. Your roommate. Fucking Gojo. People from all areas of your life, all agreeing that you and Megumi are something more than friends. You don’t know why the thought makes your chest tighten, and you don’t know why you kind of love it.  

"Okay," you breathlessly sigh, though you've barely spoken for the last few minutes.

Megumi echoes your breathlessness when he whispers back, "Okay."

“…”

"So... did you pick a movie?"

[cherrychilli]

18+

Soft Perv! Steve x AFAB reader

Idk how else to say this. Steve shaves reader's 🐱

A/N: I feel like he'd be into that. Actually, I'm pretty damn sure he would be. Fight me idc.

You could barely see above the brown paper bags crowding your arms as you lugged your groceries inside and heaved them onto the counter in a single trip. Noting the time with a quick glance at the kitchen clock, you grimace when you see that you're running late.

You knew Steve wouldn't have minded. He would forgive you being a little behind schedule but it was you who was feeling impatient tonight. You were looking forward to it. A simple night in together, order some dinner, watch a movie and hopefully, more. You didn't like the idea of missing a moment of it. Darting back and forth, you deposited your newly purchased frozen foods and vegetables in the the refrigerator in a flurry, leaving the nonperishables behind to be put away later. Steve would be arriving soon and you were yet to shower and get changed, still cursing under your breath about getting held up at the understaffed grocery store. You make sure to leave the front door unlocked for him, figuring you could jump into the shower and be ready without keeping him waiting for too long if you hurried.

You tip your head back under the running showerhead, letting the warm spray wash away your shampoo, pomegranate and black current wafting from your lathered locks and clinging to the fine mist fogging up the room. The soft foam glides down your back and freshly shaved legs, joining the water at your feet and spirals down the drain. You're about to reach for the razor sitting on your shower niche when three gentle knocks against your bathroom door alerts you to your boyfriend's arrival.

You step out of the tub carefully without toweling off, padding over to the door to inch it open enough for your face to peer through. "Hi", you greeted him with an apologetic smile, wiping the water away from your brow. "I'm so sorry but could you give me fifteen more minutes? I got held up". That's when you notice that Steve's still dressed in the same clothes he'd worn to work today, dark denim jeans that fit a little too well, making your eyes travel below his belt and a striped polo, now unobstructed by the dark green vest adorned with his nametag and the Family Video logo. "That's alright", he starts, referring to your delay. "Actually that works out, I didn't have time to stop at home. Mind if I join you? I could use a shower too".

You hesitate and he notices.

"What's wrong?", he asks, looking mildly concerned now. You'd showered together so many times before that it was hardly an unusual request for him to make.

Only this time you're a little caught off guard and just the slightest bit more embarrassed given what you were about to do in the shower. "Uh- it's just that I was about to shave", you explain hesitantly like that might suffice for an answer. You realize it didn't when he continues to look at you like you're yet to tell him what the problem was. "I don't mind", he answers when you don't say more. "It's a big tub. I wont get in your way" he adds, a little amused by your sudden nerves.

"Um- I mean, I was gonna shave...well, not my legs", you clarify, hoping he'll understand your roundabout explanation this time.

"Oh...", his brows raise, gaze lowering from your face and to the door that shielded you like he might be able to see right through it, see your body all soft and damp and trembling at the thought of showing him the places you felt too shy to reveal. You notice the glimmer in his eyes before they grow darker, his lips pulling into a soft smirk. "Can I help?"

You wondered if it might have been his attempt at a joke as you stood facing him in your tub, both of you nude, sharing a kiss as more of your shampoo washed away from his once perfectly quaffed hair and coiled down the drain until the water at your feet ran clear again. You knew for certain that it wasn't some sort of attempt at humor when your passionfruit scented body wash was cleared from your bodies next and your boyfriend pulled his lips away from where they'd been kissing down your neck, whispering against your ear underneath the running water. "Wanna lean back for me, baby? relax and let me take care of it?", he reaches between your legs, gently cupping your cunt, thumb brushing over the hair there in half circles.

You have to bite down the little whine creeping up the back of your throat as he caresses you, so tender yet somehow so lewd with his touches. "Steve...are you sure?", you peer at him through your lashes, dotted with tiny droplets.

"Are you?" he countered playfully, stroking your waist with his free hand until you answered first with a nod and then audibly with a palm smoothing over his matted chest hair. "Please".

Steve never insisted on having you shave. He had made it clear that he desired you no matter the state of you, showing just as much hunger, if not more on the days that you hadn't been able to spend some extra time in the tub with your razor. You had wanted to do it because it was your preference for the night and he was only happy to be the one to assist you with such an intimate task.

You leaned back against the end of the tub for him, porcelain cold and dewy on your back as you spread your legs and rested your ankles over each edge. He liked you like this, more than he could put into words, eyes unblinking as they fixed between your legs, opening up just for him. "I can't handle it when you look at me like that", you fussed lightly, more for the sake of seeking respite from the smoldering tension rather than a sincere complaint. His eyes flicked up to yours as he positioned himself between your thighs, looking amused by your little statement. "Like what?", he challenged you for an answer, knowing it would only fluster you even more having to explain what you meant.

You pout as heat collects in your cheeks.

"Looking at me really closely. Like...you're studying me."

Like you want to swallow me whole, you thought to yourself.

"How else am I supposed to look at you right now?", he chuckled, reaching for your purple razor and the little can of shaving cream. "Want me blindfolded?", he suggested jokingly. You shuddered at the thought. "No..." you concede. "Then I'm going to keep looking" he smoothed a palm over your inner thigh. "Need to see all of you if I'm going to do this right".

You're the one watching him closely now as he deposits a dime sized portion of the shaving cream onto his palm, reaching between your parted thighs to spread the creamy foam along your skin. Your legs tense and relax as he applies it gently and thoroughly, making sure to cover every inch needed. The cocky little smirk that had remained since his bout of light teasing begins to falter now. He seemed sure of himself until he drew his fingers away from the foam, washing them clean before pinching the razor between his fingers. "Where should I start?", he looks to you for guidance, waiting patiently for your instruction.

"Oh", you think of how you usually did it yourself, wanting to suggest a safe place for him to start. "Um, over here" you pointed your index finger at the top of your mound. "Maybe, work your way down?", you offered. He nods, looking completely focused as he aimed the razor at the spot you pointed out before slowly bringing it down. You release a breath you hadn't been aware that you were holding when the blades glide smoothly over your skin, a stripe of freshly shaved skin emerging as the foam wipes away with the first stroke. "How was that?", he checked as he pulled the razor away, deep brown eyes flicking up to meet yours. "Great, keep going", you encouraged him, toes curling at the strange yet alluring reality of what you're letting him do to you.

You didn't have to guide him much after that, only sneaking looks at him as he continued. Damp locks of his hair hung over his hungry eyes, the undivided attention he gave you making your belly feel warm. Nearing the end, he runs his fingers along each area in search of any hair he might have missed. His digits trace your inner folds, thumb skimming your clit, spreading you open occasionally. You suspected those touches had little to do with making sure he'd accomplished a clean shave but you say nothing, entranced and a little breathless at how well he's handling you.

Keep touching me there, you almost let slip, teething at your bottom lip to keep yourself quiet.

"Christ, you're pretty", he mumbles under his breath, spying the slick that had begun to drip from you. You're unaware of it, naively thinking you've managed hide how turned on you've become as he swipes his thumb over your entrance lightly, wetting it with you. He subdues a laugh at the thought of you all embarrassed, trying to argue that you were entirely unaffected and that he'd mistaken the clear residue for water. The distinct slippery texture as he rubs his index finger over his thumb confirmed otherwise. He doesn't let on that he's noticed how wet you've become, placing the razor back on the niche to signal that he's finished.

You look over the remnants of shaving cream streaking your skin as he pulls the detachable showerhead off the holder and brings it between your thighs. He aims the warm spray above your mound, watching the leftover foam wash away from you. If you'd been looking at his face you might have noticed the way Steve's eyes flashed as he discreetly thumbed at the showerhead settings, finally acting on an idea he'd been sitting on for long enough. You gasp when the water turns from a gentle spray to a single stream with noticeably stronger pressure, positioning it right over your clit. "Steve!", you cry out, an electric pulse shooting through you at the surprise stimulation. "Do you like that?", he grins, a rhetorical question because of course you did. Anyone who'd heard your sultry cry of his name would know you liked it very much.

Your eyes are wide, mouth agape as he directs the stream of water away from your clit to hold your attention.

"I want to watch you cum", grin fading to show you that he's serious.

"That's fair, right? I did just help you out after all"

You don't bother reminding him that he was the one who had asked to help in the first place, not the other way around. "Y-yeah", you stutter out your response instead, surprise receding to make way for the need growing hot inside you. "Fuck- yes. Please Steve, make me cum".

He directs the stream back over your clit and your breath catches in your throat, toes curling as the pressure beats down on your swollen bundle of nerves.

"Just relax and let me take care of it", he reminds you, lips curving into a dangerous smile.

[kakao-lovey]

۶ৎ Haircare priority No. 1: preventing damage

Preventing damage to your scalp and hair follicles is unarguably the most essential part of haircare, and is often overlooked by the very same people that use endless expensive treatments. It does not matter how good your genes are, or how many products you use: if you damage your hair, it will look dull, straw-like, frizzy and discoloured. Note: unfortunately, some of us have bad hair genes, and it can predispose you to dryness, split-ends or oiliness that affects the look NO MATTER how good you take care of it. But, taking measures to protect your hair will almost always make it look much better in the long run, if not perfect. Note No. 2: I am as white as white gets. Wasabi is too spicy for me. My experienced is based on blonde 1b hair, and although these tips are backed by science, some might vary in applicability.

────୨ৎ────

What not to do

Heat-styling: lovies, if you heat-style your hair, PLEASE try out heatless curls (If you're curling) or AT LEAST use a high-quality heat protectant spray. Heat damage breaks down proteins in the cortex of your hair, which leads to easy breaking, splitting and stiffness. It can also separate the outer cuticle from your hair strand, and that's what makes heat-damaged hair so dry and dull.

Using the hot air to blow-dry: Same principle. Additionally, if you blow-dry until your hair is 100% dry, that means you are actually sucking the moisture out of it.

Air-drying: your hair can absorb up to 30% of it's weight in water, and the longer it has to hold in that water, the more damage there is to the cortex.

Excessive sun exposure: you can get a sunburn on your scalp, actually. Plus, the heat thing comes up again.

Sulphate shampoos: here's the deal. MOST people are OK with sulphate shampoos, and the supposed damage is widely exaggerated, IF you wash your hair as often as you should. If you have to wash every day (For whatever reason), opt for sulphate-free, and use a clarifying shampoo weekly. It is incredibly difficult to find a sulphate-free shampoo that actually works on oily hair, so if your regular one works, stick with it.

Washing too frequently: everyone's hair is different, but every one or two days is excessive. I have the oiliest hair on Earth, but I wash once or twice a week, and I'm fine because my scalp got used to not having to overcompensate for loss of normal sebum.

Scalp-picking: I am guilty as charged. I don't think I even need to explain why this is bad.

Sleeping with wet hair: put your food down, lovies, because your scalp can actually grow mould in those warm, wet conditions. On top of that, you're adding friction to the already sensitive hair strands that are drenched with water.

Friction: last one, I promise. Rubbing your hair harshly with your towel is about the worst thing you can do, and that hair turban thing they do at spas has to come second.

────୨ৎ──── What you should do

Blow-dry your hair with cool air: most hairdryers have this setting. The cooler, the better (Even though it takes longer).

Styling with heatless curls

Squeezing and patting your hair dry gently with a cotton towel (Or old shirt, works just as well)

Wearing a high-duty hair sunscreen or a hat when outside for long periods of time: better yet, choose a hat with a silk lining to minimise friction.

Non-sulphate, fragrance-free shampoos: hard to come by, but real gold for your hair.

Washing only a handful of times a week

Getting a fidget toy to keep your hands busy and away from your scalp: I recommend infinity cubes or stress balls.

Using a silk scarf under your religious hair covering, if you wear one

────୨ৎ────

If you take any of these tips to heart, please let me know by interacting with this post so I can make more haircare-related content. Between high-school and chronic illness, I don't have an overload of free time, but I always make it work!

[theeternalwombtarot]

Black women, I have reason to believe that our practice with leaving our hair in protective styles for long periods of time in between washes or even partial washes is a neglectful practice that we shouldn’t continue. On top of that I believe that oils and greases work and there’s a reason why we’ve carried them with us through generations but it’s how you use them that matters. I make a hair oil of my own with various different herbs and carrier oils and I only oil my hair in the form of a hot oil treatment by way of something like a double boiler method, I’ll set the glass bottle of oil into a heat safe container of hot water, heated by a kettle. Before I oil my scalp I moisturize with shea butter melted down (please be careful it can get hot wait until you can put your hand comfortably in it without burning your hand) and after i oil I grease my scalp generously and wrap my hair up. If you’re worried about your natural hair oils and about drying your hair out and breakage due to washing, invest in moisturizing shampoos and conditioners that don’t strip the hair and scalp, the use of clarifying shampoos are necessary in cases where we don’t feel our hair and scalp are clean after long periods spent without shampooing or due to the use of heavy products like butters and oils but if you wash more frequently it’s less likely to become built up and hard to remove. I’ve had bald spots on the side of my head and in the back of my head in my “kitchen” area practically all my life and could not get my hair to grow back no matter what I did, I believe that it was a mixture of eczema that affected my scalp and traction alopecia from my hair being pulled out when I was very young. I’ve gotten these spots on my head to grow up generously, especially the back where a few of my cornrows did not go down to the nape of my neck but they do now as there wasn’t really hair there before.

I would advise you to look up what the recommended hair washing frequency is for your hair type and pay attention to the way your scalp feels and at which point your scalp starts feeling itchy or starts bothering you. I do understand that to some extent hair care for black women is kind of time consuming and you have to accurately plan wash days and hair care accurately as well as wear your hair in ways that fit your lifestyle so by all means do what’s right for you. I’ve also noticed that the practice of protective styles for longer than necessary may aid in the hair being brittle or splitting at a higher rate for some reason. I feel that I experienced more breakage when I kept my hair in protective styles for several weeks or longer.

[toomuchracket]

the birthday (after)party

hiya! here it is, part 2 of the birthday party! this one's EXTREMELY long and 18+ (beware, there is unprotected sex in this), because you are all horny bitches (affectionate) and wanted smut even though i have never written it before in my LIFE, but there is also a lot of requited love. please enjoy both the fic and this picture of matty i took at atvb glasgow, which is so sexy that it makes me want to gnaw my own arm off like chloë sevigny in bones and all (that's kinda spoilery. soz) - therefore, the perfect vibe for this. also, i don't think i clarified last time, but this fic is afab!reader, and there is gratuitous use of the phrase "good girl" within this part. thanks for all the support, and happy reading!

despite his penchant for smoke breaks in the cold, matty's hands are warm against your own. your fingers are interlaced with his, puzzle pieces slotting perfectly into place, and the backs of your hands are pressed up against the wall behind you as the two of you continue your kisses.

when matty pulls away for a breath, you seize your chance and bring your connected hands to your mouth, kissing each of his knuckles consecutively, then standing on tiptoe to press a sweet kiss on his lips. eyes heavy with want, matty sighs softly as you lower your heels back onto the ground. he wraps both arms around your waist, while yours settle into their new home around his shoulders. "you're killin' me, darlin'," matty says into your hair, breathing in the botanical scent of your shampoo. "you're too sweet. i'm gonna die of a sugar rush if you keep it up."

you smile into the crook of matty's neck, one hand playing with the curls at the nape. the nail of your pinkie finger lightly scratches the milky skin there by accident, and you feel his breath hitch. a flush of desire passes over you, and you - still lightly, but with enough pressure to make your intentions clear - continue to slowly rake your hand downwards, across the defined back muscles obvious even through a suit jacket. "i can be even sweeter," you whisper into matty's ear, savouring the way his breathing slows. experimentally, you place a feather-light kiss on the spot where his jaw and neck meet, for which you are rewarded with a throaty groan that shoots straight into your lower stomach, and another on his lips. "why don't you take me home, and i can show you just how sweet i can be for you?"

just like he did with the cigarette earlier, matty breathes slowly into your mouth, hands sliding down to rest on your ass. this time, his exhale is shaky with obvious lust, rather than cigarette smoke; still, you feel a rush of something chemical, and tense every muscle in your body in war against the urge to squeal in ecstatic shock about the effect you have on him. his eyes blink open slowly, that beautiful brown almost hidden completely by his dilated pupils. "i've never wanted anything more in my life," he murmurs against your lips. he pulls his head back slightly, and the tenderness in his gaze almost makes you cry. suddenly, though, in a way that's just so matty, the tenderness changes to glee as he cheekily slaps your asscheek. "let's get a move on, then!"

you roll your eyes, but hold out your hand for him to take; after kissing it quickly, matty leads the two of you back into the bar. although the placement of his hand in yours is by no means new - you've lost count of the times you've desperately grasped each other at shows and festivals and on nights out, your joined hands keeping you from getting lost in seas of strangers - you've never noticed just how right it feels, his calloused hand on your ink stained one. the closest analogy you can think of is likening it to a favourite sweater. a perfect fit. warm. relaxing. something you don't ever want to take off.

matty continues to hold your hand when you re-enter the bar, too, only dropping it to help you with your coat; even then, he takes it back in his grasp immediately as soon as you turn to face him, and smiles excitedly at you. "ready to go, sweetheart?"

he's so beautiful in this moment, all sharp jaw and grey strands of hair and big brown eyes illuminated by the dim but warm lighting in the bar. you tell him that, and watch his cheeks tint pink as he shakes his head, smiling in spite of himself. moving closer to you, matty kisses your temple and leans to murmur something in your ear. "you need to stop saying stuff like that, babe, or i won't make it home."

your heart flutters against your sternum - whether from desire or sheer shock at just how much matty wants you, you aren't sure. maybe both. "let's go, then."

a final kiss to your lips, and matty pulls you towards the door in a french exit. as you pass the dancefloor, though, you make eye contact with the birthday girl, now jumping around with her fiancé to a talking heads song. her eyes widen as she clocks you and matty's linked hands and half-out-the-door state; when they snap up to meet yours, you quirk your brows and wink, to which she responds with a cheer of "FUCKING FINALLY!". some of your other friends start to turn around at the noise, but you and matty are outside before they notice you.

the familiar walk to matty's house is short, although the burning desire practically radiating off the pair of you makes it seem far longer. that, and the fact that matty insists on stopping at every red-lit pedestrian crossing, despite the uncharacteristic lack of london traffic; as you wait for the red men to vacate and the green to appear, he kisses you as deeply as he can within the limited timeframe.

after you've made it past the busier area and turned onto his street, you tease him about the frequent liplocking. "you really like smooching me, don't you?"

"yeah, i do," matty replies, in that cocky-yet-charming manner of his. "and you'd better get used to it, babe, because i've got to make up for all the years i wanted to kiss you and didn't, haven't i?"

christ.

your cheeks begin to burn, and you tuck your face into matty's side in an attempt to cool them down. "oh my god."

matty only giggles, throwing his arm gently around your head and kissing your temple. "i'm serious! the worst time was when we were all at mine and you got the call about your first novel getting picked for publication-"

"oh no."

"-and i walked into the kitchen and you were just sittin' on my countertop cry-laughin' in that green dress - my favourite, by the way - and you just looked at me and said 'they're publishing it' with total joy in your eyes," matty continues, ignoring your protests. "i just wanted to plant one on you so badly in that moment. i was so proud of you - still am, every day."

his confession liquifies your insides into a puddle. you stop, now outside his front door, and lean up on tiptoe to kiss him - gently at first, then with unabashed desire, until you're forced to pull away to breathe. "et toi, angel. now, get us inside and you can make up for all those years properly, yeah?"

spurred on by your request, matty presses your back against the door, kissing you sloppily as he tries to find his keys in his pocket. once he does, he breaks from your lips and fumbles with the lock, shaking hands not helped by your pressing kisses into his neck. "god, you're gonna be the death of me" he groans, as he finally gets the door open and walks you inside. "but fuck, i'll die a happy man."

you begin to giggle, the sound quickly cut off by matty's lips returning to yours. he slides your bag and coat off your shoulders, leaving them in a heap on the floor and pressing you against the wall. one hand tenderly cradles the back of your head, stopping it from smashing off the concrete, while the other grips your ass, pushing the front of your body against his, lithe and hard and hot. at the contact, heat pulses through your body and settles between your legs. "matty," you whimper into his open mouth. "need you."

"ok, sweetheart, you'll have me" matty breathes, kissing down your neck as he toes off his shoes. he begins to trail kisses down your body, crouching to unfasten the ankle straps of your heels. as he reaches eye-level with your thighs, he removes his lips from you, hands ghosting over the hem of your dress as you kick your shoes off - however, your involuntary hiss as your bare feet meet freezing concrete causes matty to pause his movement, clearly rethinking any notions he had of having his way with you in the hallway. before you can apologise for the noise, he's back standing, hands under your ass and wrapping your legs around his waist. "bedroom."

you continue to kiss as matty carries you - with surprising speed - through the twisting corridors of his house, only breaking it to giggle at him bashing his foot against the bedroom door as he kicks it open. the pain causes matty to drop you quite unceremoniously on his bed, and he mutters an apology before sliding off his suit jacket and crawling over you to return his lips to yours. this is the most passionate kiss of the night thus far, sloppy, hungry, as if you're both trying to consume the other.

suddenly lightheaded - but unsure if it's from lack of oxygen or want for matty overwhelming your very being - you break the kiss, instead focusing on sitting up and unbuttoning matty's shirt with trembling hands. he sits up on his knees and brings his hands to his chest to guide yours, pressing little kisses over your face. "hey, hey, darlin', it's alright," he coos. "know you want me, but i need you to calm down a bit, ok? relax. we have all the time in the world."

you exhale slowly, shakily, pushing matty's now unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. no matter how many times you see matty shirtless, whether he's sunbathing at a barbecue or dancing wildly onstage, his tattoos and defined muscles always make your knees threaten to give way; here, now, seeing them so close while on his bed, the effect of the sight goes straight to your core. and yet, despite the desire pulsing through your veins and beginning to pool in your panties, you don't feel compelled to immediately begin leaving hickeys or raking your nails all over matty's exposed skin. instead, you lean forward and place a chaste kiss over his chest tattoo, over his sternum, over his heart; that's what you feel compelled to do, probably by the same supernatural force that encouraged you to join matty in the smoking area and end up here.

it's matty's turn to exhale now, hand coming up to lightly stroke your messy hair as you rest your forehead against his heart, arms wrapping around him. you stay like that for a minute, enjoying the calmness of the sweet moment, until matty breaks the silence with a bombshell of a sigh. "fuck, i'm so in love with you."

you detach from him like you've been shocked, tilting your gaze to meet his. a beat passes, then matty begins to ramble, apologies and "its true but i shouldn't have said it"s and "let's just forget i said it"s and more apologies falling from his lips like a modern-day Joyce protagonist. before he talks himself unconscious, you shut him up the simplest way you know how: pressing your lips to his in a gentle kiss. when matty seems to have calmed down a bit, you pull away and bring your hands to his jaw, just as he did to you earlier. "i'm in love with you too."

his eyes widen. "you mean it?"

you nod. because you do mean it - you are in love with him. you have been for a while. you miss him when you aren't with him. you get butterflies in your stomach when you are. on more than one occasion, you've thought about what it would be like to grow old with him, the two of you still writing together at a farmhouse kitchen table while your grandkids play in the garden and multiple dogs lie at your feet. you like yourself better when you're around him. you like others better when you're around him. you want to cry at the mere thought of him with somebody else. you would do anything he wanted you to, and you know he would do anything for you. yeah. you're in love with matty, alright.

"oh, sweetheart," matty smiles, his eyes glassy as he pulls you into him and crashes his lips to yours. while there's an undercurrent of desire, this kiss is softer, sweeter, calmer; it feels like coming home. after it ends, matty rests his forehead against yours. the two of you bask in the tender glow of the moment - that is, until matty says something suggestive, as is his wont. "will you let me go down on you to show you how much i love you?"

in spite of the recent revelations, and the subsequent softness in the air, matty's question sends a burst of heat to your core so strong that you struggle to speak. nodding frantically, you croak out a "yes", and close your eyes as matty begins to kiss your neck and lift the hem of your dress, only reopening them once the black velvet is lifted over your head and matty lets out a quiet curse in exclamation. his pupils are almost fully dilated, eyes raking up and down your lingerie-clad body, mouth agape, hands clenching and unclenching.

to egg him on, you quickly reach around to unclasp your bra, letting the straps fall down your shoulders and discarding it somewhere on matty's floor. it has the desired effect; he blinks slowly once, then all but pounces on you, covering your boobs with grabs and caresses and kisses and sucks and bites. you relish matty's worship for a few glorious minutes, before he pulls himself up to your lips to kiss them again. "you're so beautiful," he mutters against your lips. "can i get you naked now, sweetheart?"

fuck. you whimper an affirmative, and you feel him smile against you before he gently pushes you down into the mattress. "lie down for me, baby, that's it," matty coos as he settles himself on his stomach, head resting on your thigh. eyes locked on yours, he slides a single finger up the middle of your clothed core, pressing it gently on your clit and making you gasp. "fuck, you're so responsive. good girl."

with that devastating phrase, matty hooks his fingers in the waistband of your panties and pulls them down, pushing your legs up to slide the black lace fully off and throw them away. he winks at you, grinning, then wraps his arms around your thighs and buries his face between your legs.

a cry of his name escapes your throat before you can stop it, which only seems to encourage him. you knew matty had a mouth on him, but this far exceeds any wet dream you've ever had; he's everywhere, sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue against it, then licking into you and lapping up your wetness like it's caramel, making you writhe on his mattress. somewhere in your addled brain, you thank everything holy for soundproofing concrete so well - had this dalliance taken place in your flat, the noises matty is coaxing out of you would warrant complaints from every other tenant in your whole building. he's making noise, too, moaning into your core and praising your sweet taste every time he comes up for air.

as the pressure in your lower stomach begins to grow, your hands find themselves on your boobs, squeezing and pinching your nipples in an imitation of matty's earlier actions. he stops working on you with his mouth, thumb toying with your clit as he admires you. "that's my girl," matty says, sending a direct shockwave to your clit. "my beautiful, beautiful girl. god, i love you so much."

with that, his mouth is back on your core, fingers parting your folds and thrusting inside you. the combination makes your head spin, the pressure within you growing ever-nearer to breaking point. one of your hands latches itself into matty's curls, resulting in another throaty groan, and you begin to grind yourself against his face and hand. "matty," you whimper, back arching off the bed. "please don't stop. m'so close, m'so fucking close."

matty moans into you again, speeding up his movements ever so slightly. he pulls his mouth from you briefly, so he's understood. "cum for me, sweetheart," he pants, thumb substituting for his tongue on your clit as he speaks. "be a good girl and cum on my tongue." with that, back down he goes. as soon as his tongue returns to you, your orgasm hits; you scream, clenching around his fingers, your whole body convulsing in icily-burning ecstasy. matty pulls every last bit of pleasure out of you, lapping at your clit increasingly softly until you whimper at the sensitivity.

matty pulls himself up to hover over your panting chest, although his forearms shake with the effort after how tight he held your thighs. he presses a gentle kiss to your lips, making you moan at the taste of yourself on him, before he speaks. "that was the sexiest thing i have ever experienced. i'm gonna think about that every fucking day of my life. thank you."

still breathing heavily, you giggle, pulling him down to lie atop you. matty nuzzles sweetly into your neck, somewhat contrasting the eroticism of his hard cock against your stomach. you bring a hand to the buckle of his trousers, which makes him sigh in contentment, and begin to undo it. "oh, i love you. thank you. will you let me return the favour now, angel?"

matty moans into your neck, his hands moving to his trousers to help you pull them down. he leans back slightly to kick them off, then sits up on his knees before you. "honestly, baby, as good as that sounds... i'm quite desperate to be inside you, if you feel ready for that."

slightly embarrassingly, you feel yourself get wet at matty's words. sitting up, you capture his lips with your own, your hands tugging at the waistband of his boxers. "please."

matty swears under his breath and yanks his boxers down his legs. holy fuck. his cock is beautiful; long and hard, weeping for attention. you swipe your thumb over the tip as matty reaches across to his bedside table, but he pulls back with a "for fuck's sake" before you start to work him further. "fuck, the condoms are in the bathroom cupboard. i'll be two seconds, babe, let me just-"

"wait," you sit up on your elbows, preening internally at the way matty's gaze falls to your boobs moving as you do so. "i mean... i'm alright not using one, if you're cool with that. i don't mind, either way."

matty's eyes close, and you don't miss the way his cock twitches slightly at your words. "well, i'm clean, if you're sure you don't mind going without-"

"i am too"

"-but what about... other things?"

"well, going by my biological calendar, we should manage to avoid that this time," you begin, moving to caress his face, his eyes fluttering open as you do. "but even if we don't, i've always maintained that you'd be a proper dilf, so..."

"fuck, i really do love you," matty grins, turning his head to kiss the palm of your hand. he settles himself better between your legs, wrapping them around his waist, thumb lightly circling your sensitive clit. "do you want me to fuck you now?"

you slide your arms down onto the bed so you're lying flat again, tipping your head back against the pillows. "mhmm."

matty moves so he's leaning over you, pausing his hand movement and replacing his thumb on your clit with the tip of his cock. "need to hear you say it, sweetheart" he whispers, directly into your ear. "can you do that for me?"

the whole scenario is so erotic that you can't stop the needy whimpers you emit as a response. "please, please matty, want you inside me, please".

"good girl," comes the reply, and then matty's cock is at your entrance, pushing slowly inside you, stretching you out. he's big, the biggest you've ever had, but the stretch and the sensation of him inside you after all this time is nothing short of delicious. matty leans down to kiss you as he bottoms out, the two of you moaning into each other's mouths like it's your own shared language.

after a few slow thrusts, matty breaks the kiss to hover over you. "fuck... shit, you feel so good, baby," he pants out between thrusts. "can i speed up a bit? are you ready?"

his attentiveness towards you is incredible; matty looks like he might combust if he doesn't pick up the pace, jaw open and loose and dark eyes heavy, but he keeps the slow tempo until you answer. "fuck me harder, please. want it so bad."

matty smiles above you, kissing your forehead gently. "anything for my girl."

and with that, most of the gentleness disappears; matty pulls out almost all the way, then slams back into you, making you cry out his name and tangle your fingers in his hair again. he picks up speed, too, moving those hips of his rapidly as he chases orgasms for both of you.

the position doesn't change the whole time - it's perfect, matty's cock hitting your sweet spot every thrust and making you clench around him. you're aware of yourself babbling between moans of his name, but you have no idea what you're saying; all coherent thought in your brain has been replaced by love for the man above you and his sexual prowess, the man alternating between kissing your neck and sucking on your nipples, the man responding to your shit-talking with adoring coos. "fuck, good girl, taking my cock so well, so perfectly. you were fucking made for me, weren't you? made for me to make you feel good, yeah?"

it's overwhelming, especially after the intensity of your last orgasm. the familiar feeling in your stomach begins to build again, your jaw trembling and eyes rolling back into your head as matty continues to fuck you just so perfectly. when your legs begin to shake around his waist, he brings his thumb to your clit and kisses into your neck. "you're close, aren't you, sweetheart? can you cum for me again? cum all over my cock?"

again, it's matty's words that do it. you yank his face down to your own, scratching his back so hard it bleeds and making out with him as he brings you to another convulsing orgasm. it's not a long kiss, though - matty pulls away from you as you clench around him in the throes of pleasure, his hips stuttering as he nears his own release. "where...?"

"inside," you gasp out, clinging to his sweaty shoulders. "wanna feel you."

face above you, dark eyes boring into your own, matty whines loudly - the hottest thing you've ever heard - as he finishes inside you, pulsing heat into your core. he holds himself up long enough afterwards to place a kiss on the end of your nose, then flops on top of you, cock softening inside you, head resting on your boobs. "best sex i've ever had. i love you."

"i love you too," you reply, caressing his sweaty hair. "can't wait to do that with you every day for the rest of our lives."

matty giggles softly, kissing inbetween your boobs before raising his head to look at you. "and i was thinking, if we have a boy in 9 months, we should name him after me."

"whatever you want, babe."

[darlingi-loveyou]

🩷 ✨ aphrodite cabin headcanons 🪩 💌

aphrodite cabin headcanons bc the way rick wrote them was fucked up. let them be silly and hyperfemme and girlypop i am begging you.

they have a billion playlists for different occasions (getting ready in the morning, arts and crafts, capture the flag, etc.) that they share with the apollo cabin.

to clarify, they are not allowed to use the capture the flag playlist anymore because they are permanently banned from playing after a hermes kid almost lost an arm.

the clothes in the camp store are ugly as hell so they convinced chiron to let them set up racks of clothes they don’t wear or just bought specifically for the store, of course with low prices because everyone should be able to look hot. there are crop tops, bandeau tops, all different length skirts, rompers, and even cute shoes. the aesthetics range from y2k to hippie to coquette to fairy grunge to mermaidcore to goth, with sizes ranging from 3XS to 5XL.

they have huge storage units of makeup and hair stuff that they gladly lend out to other campers. they even have dye and bleach from arctic fox and salon-grade brands. don’t worry about how they got it.

they regularly have movie nights using a projector with blankets, popcorn, and cuddle piles. their favorites to watch are mean girls, legally blonde, clueless, jennifer’s body (a halloween tradition), enchanted, the house bunny, but i’m a cheerleader, tangled, mama mia, the sisterhood of the traveling pants, and all three high school musicals (they know all the songs by heart, ofc).

the whole “nico was the first person who ever came out at camp” thing is literally the dumbest thing i’ve ever read, so that’s just not true and the aphrodite cabin has organized every pride event at camp for years now. no one knows how they do it or where they get all that glitter, and no one is brave enough to ask.

you need love advice? you’re questioning your sexuality and need to talk to someone about it? you need a girltalk session and some hypewomen? you need to make sure the harpies don’t get you when you and your partner sneak out to a secluded spot on the beach? they got u, babes, don’t even worry about it.

they all have perfumes and colognes customized to their signature scents.

their support for the trans community could rival the dionysus cabin. also they worship dylan mulvaney like the goddess she is because i worship her like the goddess she is, and i make the rules.

no one has better halloween costumes than then. no one. if you look as good as them, it’s because you borrowed supplies from them.

insanely good matchmakers.

when one of them is sad, they all stop everything they’re doing until their sibling feels better. that means skincare, hair-braiding trains, manicures while watching barbie movies, and those frosted sugar cookies. no, they will not, under any circumstances, participate in camp activities until they’re sure their sibling is okay.

their favorite show is sex education. when they watch it, they send the younger campers into the big house with a hephaestus-cabin-engineered ipad to watch monster high and ever after high until they’re done. dionysus does not approve of having to babysit, but after he went to chew out the rest of the cabin and found them in tears with mascara trails because they got to season 2, he stopped interfering.

drew and will got the two cabins together to bribe and beg chiron for eras tour tickets. it did not work (much to nico’s delight, who would’ve been persuaded into going by his boyfriend). in retaliation, they put pink hair dye in his shampoo, and the apollo cabin cursed him to randomly sing what he says with no warning. dionysus has never been so entertained.

they have no tolerance for pick-me girls or slut-shaming.

piper apologized to drew once she matured and started dating shel.

they all have phones that they hide from everyone else, complete with protection spells from the hecate cabin. they all have a family group chat and facetime basically every day when summer ends. shel and valentina are best friends now.

being the only boy, mitchell used to get bullied a lot by insecure middle school ares boys. that is, until his sisters caught wind and gave them hell. now, no one messes with mitchell, and especially not with his sisters.

they absolutely lose their shit when they realize some of the younger campers are too young to know one direction.

they’re closer to the apollo kids (and nico) than any other cabin.

they have a bookshelf full of nothing but romance. red, white, and royal blue, the falling on love montage, pride and prejudice, cemetery boys, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, like a love story, heartstopper, the list goes on and on (no colleen hoover, though, yuck).

their acrylics and press-ons are deadly.

they have bunk beds, but more often than not you’ll find them sharing beds like they’re at a sleepover.

the cabin is extremely maximalist, with little disco balls, pink and lavender everywhere, fake flowers, and full-length mirrors because no, they’re not sharing.

because their mom is the goddess of love, they all identify as either bi, pan, queer, or don’t use labels. they just love love.

they all have matching “free britney” crop tops.

[how-very-salty]

For the prompt...JD and Ronnie+their baby!!!

A "little" late and more about JD and Ronnie, but…. meet Hope!

Hope

JD x Ronnie, fluff and a little drama

Veronica quietly closed the door behind her and leaned her forehead against it for a moment. She hadn't cried in the hospital or on the way home, so why now... She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly, exhaling through clenched teeth: "Pull yourself together. It's not the end of the world!"

"Ronnie?" a worried voice came from behind her and she turned sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Hi," her lips parted in a fake smile, "Oh, no big deal."

"Something wrong?" frowning, JD stepped closer. Veronica hastily backed away. 

"Just a little trouble at work. Don't worry about it," she hung her coat on the  rack and, pursing her trembling lips, began to concentrate on removing the barely visible lint from the sleeve. "Will you make the coffee? I'll be right over, just finishing up." 

If she turns, she'll burst into tears. 

"Let's just take it to the laundry tomorrow," JD sighed, taking the coat from her hands and hanging it far away. And then, without letting her get distracted again, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. His lips pressed reassuringly against her shoulder.  "You were at the hospital, weren't you?"

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she nodded silently. 

"I take it the news isn't good?"

"Yes and no," Veronica still turned and tilted her head up to look at JD, concern glowing in his eyes. She found the strength to smile reassuringly. "I'll be fine."

"If you were, you wouldn't be crying," he ran his thumb down her cheek, wiping away the wet trail. A lump formed in her throat. Veronica's lips quivered and she sobbed, bursting into tears. He silently pulled her to him and rocked her gently.

"I don't know why I got so upset," she mumbled between suppressed sobs. "It's so stupid!"

JD sighed patiently, kissed the top of her head, and pulled away slightly.

"Why don't you get some water and tell me everything, okay? Then we can decide if it's stupid or not together," JD waited for her hesitant nod, then scooped Veronica up in his arms and carried her into the living room. 

When she calmed down, she put the glass down on the table and looked up at JD, her eyes red with tears.

"I don't know why I'm so upset. I'll have the surgery, stay in the hospital for a few days, and then go home. Even the scars will be almost invisible. Everything will be fine."

"Are you doing this again?" he sighed reproachfully and turned sideways, pulling her onto his side. Veronica lay quietly on his chest, her arm tucked under her head. It was their special pose for tough conversations, especially when she was stubborn and refused to admit that she was upset. Some things were easier to say when JD couldn't see her face. 

Her tired eyes closed on their own, and a warm blanket that smelled of tobacco and caramel shampoo fell over her shoulders.  

"I'll probably never be able to have children," Veronica finally whispered softly, "I'm sorry..."

"I thought you didn't want to?" JD clarified in a calm voice, hugging her a little tighter than he should have. 

They hardly ever talked about it. There were always other, more important things to do: they had to somehow deal with their troubled past, get therapy, he had to find a job, and Veronica had to finish college and start a career. They lived in the moment and made no plans for the future; even the proposal had happened almost by accident, without a ring, on this very couch. 

No, she had no regrets and didn't want to change anything in her life, not even those old and terrible mistakes: without them, they would never have gotten to this point. Everything was good now, and they had been happily married for five years. It seemed like the logical thing to do to take the next step, but on the contrary, her doubts were only getting stronger. 

"I don't know, JD, I'm not sure I'd be a good mother. But I wanted so much for you...for us to have a normal family."

"Where do you get that kind of nonsense? We are a family," his tone was calm, but she could still hear the sadness in it. She frowned and raised her head, but JD flicked her nose, making her giggle awkwardly. 

"But you always wanted kids, didn't you?"

"I always wanted to be with you. That's all that matters," he murmured quietly, as if trying to steer the conversation in another direction. Ronnie usually gave in at this point, but today she was unexpectedly stubborn. 

"You know what I mean," she looked at his face intently. "You always wanted to be a better father than yours."

"I don't think trying to deal with my past that way is going to do any good," he grinned wryly and looked away. "My heredity, my mental problems, and frankly, my temper is kind of shitty... What if I repeat his mistakes instead?"

He quickly bit his tongue: saying the last thing wasn't in his plans. 

"You'll never be like your father," Veronica shook her head confidently, "and I know for a fact that you'd make a great father." 

"How?" he snorted incredulously. 

"You just don't realize that you can be such a mother hen sometimes," she laughed softly, nuzzling her cheek against his chest. JD's fingers immediately dug into her short hair. "If we had kids, they'd be happy. And you would be happy. "

"What about you?

Veronica thought for a moment, then shrugged, "I think so too, just in a slightly different way. Happy that you're happy... Is that bad? "

" I guess not," he ran a hand through her hair, letting the fluffy strands run through his fingers. "Sure, I'd like us to have a big family, like in some stupid commercial. You, me, our daughter and the dog... But wishing and deciding are two different things. Not just because you weren't sure, and not just because I have bad genes, although I do. Not even because I can't always be a good person, although I try my best. "

"You're scared too, aren't you?" she smiled understandingly. "That we'll be as bad as our parents? "

"You're damn right," JD chuckled, pulling her closer to him, "I mean, you and I are going to make a whole new person, a blank slate. What if we fuck it up? What if we fuck it up and there's just one more unhappy child out there in the world?"

"Well, that's definitely not going to happen now," Veronica replied with a cheerful smile, "so you don't have to worry about that. "

"Fuck," he swore, looking at her guiltily, "I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to... Maybe we should try adoption?"

She looked up at him with round eyes, "What?"

"Well, I was thinking that someone already screwed up with these kids before us, which means we probably won't make it any worse," JD explained confused, "not that I've thought about it before, but... It makes sense, right?"

"Just don't say that in an interview, dummy," Ronnie laughed softly, looking at him with a tender smile. "But, you know, there's something about it..."

She bit her lip, a thoughtful wrinkle forming between her eyebrows. JD didn't deny himself the pleasure of a quick kiss on it. 

"But definitely a daughter," he continued, leaning back on the armrest and staring dreamily at the ceiling, "I want to do braids, paint the nails, and dress up like a fairy for Halloween. Would a pink tutu suit me?" 

"Very," Veronica laughed uncontrollably. "Damn, I want to see it already!"

"And I need a tiara with feathers," he added suggestively, causing another explosion of laughter.

"You're such a dork sometimes!"

"I try," JD grinned smugly: the tears on her face dried completely, replaced by cautious interest. He hurried to cement the result. "I wonder what our daughter's name would be..."

" I hope it's not Stacy," she snorted suddenly, blowing her fringe out of her eyes.

"Still jealous?"

"You were flirting with her!" Veronica pursed her lips in resentment. He would have thought she was really mad at him, if it wasn't for the sly look she gave him.

"I just love the way you get mad. You're so cute," JD teased her, "like an angry little gremlin. Ouch!"

Veronica bit his shoulder vindictively, then dropped her head back to his chest and sighed loudly. Fatigue suddenly hit her again, spreading a pleasant heaviness over her body. She'd been tired a lot the last few months, but the doctors had promised it would go away after the surgery.

"I love you," she murmured, finding his hand and pressing it possessively to her chest. 

"I love you too, darling," he kissed her lightly on the top of her head, "get some sleep. I'll wake you up in half an hour and we'll go out for dinner. Okay?"

A quiet, peaceful sniffle was all he heard in response.

***

JD squeezed her hand reassuringly, but Veronica didn't seem to notice. She couldn't stop being nervous: what if something went wrong? What if she didn't like them? What if they failed? Her palms were sweating. The counselors had warned her that the girl had a difficult temper, but her smile was so much like JD's that Veronica couldn't resist it. 

Finally, the door opened and Ms. Daisy let the girl into the room. She was wearing a dress that was stained with mud and holding a soccer ball in her hand. The teacher sighed tiredly and shook her head without commenting on her outfit: "I'll leave you to it," and walked out into the hallway, closing the door behind her.  

Without moving, the girl gave Veronica and JD a frown and clutched the ball tighter to her chest. 

"Hi," Ronnie's voice trembled a little, "what's your name?"

"Hope," the girl mumbled, "why, did they forget to tell you?"

Veronica looked at JD with reproach as she heard a soft giggle behind her. 

"Sorry, I don't have much experience with children," she admitted honestly, shifting her gaze back to the girl. "My name is Veronica, and that weird guy behind me is my husband, Jason."

"Why weird?" giggled Hope, staring at him curiously. 

"He has some sort of inhuman ability to eat sweets in huge quantities," Veronica quipped hastily, "and you like sweets?"

" I do!"

"Then let's go to a cafe around here and order a bunch of desserts," JD winked at the angrily nodding girl, "and we'll get this bore a sandwich. "

"We can get to know each other better," Veronica added with a roll of her eyes, "if you don't mind, of course..."

"Can we get chocolate cake?" Hope narrowed her eyes slyly and, after a nod from JD, turned to the door. "Then I don't mind." 

If you want to give me cudos - here <3

[thestrangerblog]

Hair care

Author's note: Here comes my first Percabeth fanfic, a fluffy little showverse story, because I haven't read the books yet. I think Annabeth needs a little pampering and Percy is there to do it.

I'm white, so forgive me if I got the hair care for black girls wrong, all I know about that is from Youtube Videos.

Hair Care

Percy had just taken a much needed shower after returning to camp from his quest to find the lightning bolt. He was on his way back to the Poseidon cabin when he ran into Annabeth who was on her way to the camp showers. Percy stopped in his tracks and couldn’t help but stare.

Annabeth had unbraided her hair which totally changed her appearance. Her hair was all over her head in a wild mess. To him it looked like a halo or a gigantic crown.

“Shut your mouth, seaweed-brain or you’ll start drooling when you’re awake, too.”

Only now did Percy realize that he had been staring open-mouthed at Annabeth. He took her advice and quickly shut his mouth, only to open it again a moment later to say something.

“You look... different.”

“I unbraided my hair so I can wash it,” Annabeth said with an eye-roll.

“I didn’t realize your hair looks like this naturally.”

Percy felt really dumb, but that wasn’t unusual in Annabeth’ company.

“What, messy and filthy?” she asked aggressively.

“No! No, that’s not... I swear I didn’t mean that!” Percy stuttered, slightly panicked. “There’s just... so much of it. It looks fluffy.”

“Fluffy?” Annabeth asked, raising an eyebrow. “What am I, a rabbit?”

But she sounded amused, not angry, so Percy assumed he hadn’t offended her.

Percy laughed. “No, you don’t give rabbit vibes. I think you’d be something more impressive. And smarter of course. An owl maybe, with being Athena’s daughter and all.”

“And you’d be a monkey. One of those tiny ones, maybe a lemur. Loud, annoying, silly, but somehow you not only get away with it, but people even bring you treats,” Annabeth said.

“I don’t know if this was an insult or a compliment.”

“A bit of both, I guess.”

Percy didn’t know what else to say, but also didn’t want to just go away. During the last week he and Annabeth had nearly always been together and he had a feeling that he would feel lonely without her in the big, empty Poseidon cabin.

“Speaking of treats. I still have some of the candies my mother gave me before I left for camp. She works at a candy shop and gets to take home free samples sometimes. Want to come over and share them with me after your shower? Maybe we could borrow a laptop from someone and watch a movie.”

Percy saw Annabeth visibly hesitating.

“I’d really like that, but it’ll take a while for me to be done in the showers and I’m pretty tired. I guess I would just fall asleep 5 minutes into the movie.”

Percy was surprised at that. He had only taken 10 minutes in the shower even though he needed to wash off a week’s dirt. He hadn’t thought Annabeth was the high maintenance type of girl who took forever in the bathroom. Considering that Percy had had enough near death experiences over the past week he decided not to voice his thoughts. But apparently that wasn’t necessary. Either his facial expression had given him away or Annabeth could read his mind.

The girl rolled her eyes. “My hair needs a lot more work to not look like a mess then yours, seaweed-brain. Getting the tangles out takes forever and needs more than just shampoo.”

“Oh.”

Should he have known that? Was it dumb or insensitive of him not to know that?

“I could help,” he offered spontaneously. “With the hair, not with the shower!” he quickly clarified, blushing.

After everything Annabeth had done for him he really wanted to give something back. And he was somehow fascinated with the way her hair looked unbraided and really wanted to know how it felt to touch it.

“You want to come with me into the girls restrooms?” she asked.

“No, you could just come to my cabin after your shower.”

“Do you have a sink in your cabin?” Annabeth asked.

Now it was Percy’s turn to give Annabeth an eye-roll, a deeply satisfying experience.

“I’m the son of Poseidon, wise-girl. I don’t need a sink, I can just get a bucket of water and make the water move like with a shower-head.”

“Really?” Annabeth asked, sounding impressed. She was impressed by him!

Percy shrugged. “I practiced a little when I was alone in the cabin and couldn’t sleep.”

“Okay, I’ll humor you and let you give me a demonstration. But no sea water. That will only make it worse.”

Percy got the bucket he had for his water experiments from his cabin and filled it with warm water in the boys shower. Annabeth arrived at his cabin only a few minutes later. She had changed her clothes, but her hair was dry, meaning she apparently hadn’t started with whatever washing routine she had.

“Okay, I have the water and I know how to use shampoo, but apart from that I’m pretty lost, so I’ll need a bit of help,” Percy admitted.

Annabeth nodded. She had lived in a cabin with siblings of both sexes and from different ethnicities for five years now (apparently her mother didn’t have a type), so she knew that hair care was much easier for white kids, especially for boys.

“Okay, so, my hair needs a lot of moisture. I actually start with a conditioner and a lot of water and then slowly detangle my hair, first with my fingers, then with a tangle teaser brush. Then I use shampoo, then conditioner again and in the end I put oil in my hair and leave it in.”

Percy nodded. “Doesn’t sound too difficult.

Annabeth laughed. “You won’t repeat that after you have started getting the tangles out.”

“Okay, I thought you could just sit in a chair, I stand behind you and put the water bucket next to us.”

“Sounds good to me,” Annabeth said.

Annabeth sat down and Percy stood behind the chair and let the water come out of the basket in a little fountain that went to Annabeth head and then back into the basket and up again in a circuit.

Annabeth looked impressed. “You really have practiced a lot.”

Percy shrugged. “Not really. It didn’t take long for me to get it right. Anything with water comes naturally to me. Would you like a blanket or something for your neck to be more comfortable?”

Annabeth looked surprised to be asked that, but nodded. “That would be nice, thank you.”

Percy rolled the blanket from his bed and put it at the back of the chair so Annabeth could lean back comfortably. He gently put his hands on her hair and guided it to get it soaked with water. It really was fluffy. When Annabeth’ hair was thoroughly wet which took surprisingly long Percy took the conditioner Annabeth had brought with her and gently started untangling Annabeth hair. She had been right, it really wasn’t that easy to detangle the thick strands, but Percy didn’t mind. He started at the neck and gently untangled Annabeth’ hair strand for strand. Then he carefully brushed her hair out. Then he put shampoo in his hands and gently lathered Annabeth’ hair with it. Now he could easily get through her locks with his fingers. He made sure that the shampoo got everywhere, gently massaging Annabeth scalp while foaming the shampoo. Annabeth had closed her eyes during the detangling and was now leaning back in the chair to give Percy better access. Her face didn’t have her usual cool and aloof expression, she looked emotional and to Percy’s surprise a tear escaped her. Annabeth had apparently noticed that, too and tensed. Percy, who had gotten good at fast reactions, let a bit of water run down Annabeth’ cheeks.

“Sorry,” Percy mumbled, making it look like an accident.

“It’s okay,” Annabeth said and relaxed again, now that she didn’t have to worry about controlling her reactions to the tender care anymore.

Now it was Percy who had to control himself when he realized how foreign tenderness must be to Annabeth. He took a deep breath to control his sudden anger at Annabeth’ family and concentrated on the task at hand. In this moment he swore to himself to give Annabeth as much affection as possible whenever he got a chance.

Percy washed away the shampoo with water before stopping his make-shift fountain and then put conditioner in Annabeth hair again, spreading it thoroughly. Then he applied the oil and rubbed Annabeth’ hair with the towel until it wasn’t dripping anymore.

Annabeth stood up and faced Percy, looking insecure and almost shy, what was so strange for her.

“Thank you, Percy.”

Percy smiled. “You’re welcome. If you want to, I can always do your hair when we are at camp. You can teach me how to braid, if you want.”

“You’d do that?” Annabeth asked, surprised,

Percy nodded and hoped that it didn’t look too eager. He really loved going through Annabeth hair with his fingers and he enjoyed being able to spend time alone with her.

“Yes, I’d like that.”

[ask-shane]

Hi, I am the anon that said i send mean asks on purpose. I just wanted to make a clarification and a formal apology and then i will stop interacting with this blog.

I need to clarify that by mean asks i meant things like saying shane has no bitches, or that he uses 738283837 in 1 shampoo. I never sent any slurs or genuine insults to this blog, and on top of mean things i also send nice things. I should've specified that the asks I sent were teasing and not genuine mean things.

I sincerely apologize for saying what I said. I had no idea the extent of the awful things people sent you and the fact that I could make you feel like i intentionally try yo make you feel bad and ruin your day with slurs and insults litterally made me shiver and feel anxious in real life. I fully understand how what i sent was harmful and damaging to someone who has to deal with toxicity on a daily basis.

I feel a lot of shame for what I did, this blog is something i check daily because i love your writing and i Love this character. I don't need you to unblock me if its even possible, i just wanted to apologize and wish you well

hi anon, mod dawn speaking. i’m gonna be talking directly to this person so please feel free to skip this if you aren’t them

i just wanted to start by addressing a couple things. firstly, thank you for apologizing so sincerely and honestly. i can tell how genuine this is and i’m certain it was a very brave decision after i put you on the spot earlier. i’ve deleted the post replying to your ask out of respect for this situation.

and for that, i am extremely sorry. i’m speaking to you with recognition that there is a person who is going to be reading this. i should’ve been more aware that i was putting you on blast in front of a lot of people. even if you were on anonymous, i can’t imagine how anxiety-inducing it was to be reading my response when you actually meant to be playful/teasing.

another thing i need to clarify here was that i did not realize that you were not the one sending me death threats and slurs. i had received a barrage of messages at the same time and had wrongly assumed the others were coming from you as well. it all happened at once, and the context of you sending that ask was shockingly related to the vile ones i received. your asks were not at all on the same level of “bad” the ones you didn’t send were.

unfortunately i had no way of telling which ones belonged to you and which ones didn’t, so i decided to address them using your ask. i made the mistake of incorrectly conflating your ask with the others.

that out of the way, i am so sorry once again, and also very thankful you apologized. please know there’s absolutely no need to feel shame for this.

i want to make it clear now that teasing (and even being somewhat mean) asks on my blog are okay. it’s fun to be provocative! there’s an art to it that i can appreciate, especially here, where shane gets glazed a lot. it is really awful that my guard happened to be high when you sent this because of what another actually unacceptable anon did. you shouldn’t be lumped in with them and i am so sorry i couldn’t discern your intention. i should also use this as an opportunity to say you have a good heart. i love that you can be playful and i thought a lot of what you said was actually quite funny. i didn’t intend to make you feel anxious or responsible for what other people did, but regardless, i did so, and it wasn’t fair of me to do to you.

lastly, thank you for interacting with my blog. now that we’ve cleared things up, i want to personally say to you that it is more than okay to continue to interact with my blog. i can appreciate a presence like yours around here. i’ll figure out a way to make sure you’re able to continue interacting (if you’d like to, of course). i am so glad you enjoy my writing and my portrayal of the character and it is honestly heartbreaking to hear i may have spoiled this experience for you. i have no negative feelings toward you whatsoever— if anything, i respect your ability to communicate with me after this (even though i’m sure it would’ve been much easier to block me and try to forget this happened)

i hope you are reading this.. i wish you nothing but the best 🤍

- dawn

[presidentbungus]

Demo starts scritching at the bottom of Scout’s skull, then slowly starts moving up, humming something he doesn’t recognize under his breath. Scout’s not really sure what he’s doing, but it’s nice. And it’s kinda hard to care when all he can think about is being pressed against Demo and it’s like sitting against a space heater he’s so fucking warm, their legs tangled together in front of them, and Scout just wishes he could see his face.

He can imagine it. Demo always makes the same face when he’s concentrating and he’s always concentrating on something (and right now he’s focused on Scout, just him, and fuck, man). He’s probably squinting at nothing in particular, and he’d be cross-eyed if he had two eyes, lips all stupidly puffed out like he’s clenching his teeth together. Maybe he’s sticking his tongue out just a little, like he does when he’s really in the zone.

… Probably thinking, like, wow, Scout’s so great, his hair’s so soft and nice, boy I’m lucky, I’m never gonna dump him unless he dumps me, in which case I would accept that as a reasonable decision and still be best friends with him afterwards because he’s just that great. Or something along those lines. He has to remind himself to unscrunch his eyes and unflare his nose and do something mostly regular with his mouth, and he spends a few seconds being really glad Demo can’t see his face right now because he probably looks really stupid.

And the whole time those smart, quick fingers keep brushing across his scalp, combing through his hair. His other arm’s got Scout all wrapped up, resting heavy enough against his chest his lungs pinch just a little when he breathes in too deep and don’t get him wrong, no complaints here. Demo keeps humming, probably something about pirates or krakens or taxes. Scout can’t think of anything to say and for the first time in his life nothing’s coming out of his mouth anyway. He’s sweating through the bandages on his hands though. And his heart’s hammering so hard he can feel it in the tips of his fingers, and he’s sure Demo’s able to feel it through his spine, and oh god is that embarrassing? Is he being fucking weird? Did he remember to put on deodorant this morning because oh god he’s so fucking sweaty, and maybe he should say something just to clarify, maybe something like I’m sorry if I smell bad and I’m sweaty, you’re really great and all, I like your arms a lot and your music’s stupid but you’re good at singing it, something like that really quick, oh my god oh my god…

And out of nowhere, right before Scout opens his big stupid mouth and gets himself broken up with, Demo pops his lips and says: “Scout, if you love me, ya gotta wash yer hair.”

“What—c’mon.” Scout’s worried that means the little head massage thing is over, but he still keeps going, thank god, and you know what, whatever.

“No, really.” Demo thinks on it. “Your scalp feels like a nice greasy patch of temperate swamp.”

He finally awkwardly cranes his neck back (trying to make sure Demo doesn’t move his arm and hey, he doesn’t) and sure enough, he’s making that stupid fucking face, tongue out and everything even though he just spoke, and whatever long line of nothing Scout had in his mouth just dissolves. Instead he manages to muster a faint: “Hey.”

“Just a touch of shampoo, Scoutie, I’m tellin’ ye. Could be nice.”

He scoffs. “I use shampoo.”

“You use a three-‘n-one. I’ve seen it.”

“And it works fine, asshole.”

“It could work better.” Before Scout can respond to this, that arm squeezes all the air out of him—probably on purpose—and Demo’s other arm presses on top of it, and his head nudges into the crook of Scout’s neck and says “Please, Scoutie, for me, just for me?”

… Aw man. “Fine, whatever,” he wheezes, and Demo lets go of him so he can throw his arms in the air. “But I don’t know any of that shit.”

“I promise I can work that out,” he hums, already back to scratching down Scout’s scalp. “Thank you, thank you,” suddenly attacking him with kisses down his neck and the side of his face, making the loudest friggin’ smacking sounds he can probably muster.

“Geez—geez, okay, I get it,” and some horrible embarrassing sound that’s probably supposed to be a laugh frees itself from his throat, and Scout barely tries to push him off. It doesn’t work, and he doesn’t stop. Thank god.