#cishet friends better Watch Out lmao

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

Pride asks !! Woo !!

1 , 3 , and 25 <3

Answers under the cut!

) Which labels do you use?

On paper I'm a pansexual trans man! But as per my other post, I have decided to eat all the labels available. I might describe myself as bi to cishet people, and in more nuanced spaces I identify as a he/him lesbian. I'll identify as a dyke or faggot, with friends or people who are made uncomfortable by it. And of course, we're all gay.

3) Which pronouns do you use?

He/him!

25) What queer discourse frustrates you the most?

I wrote a pretty long thing on the other post, but basically we're all in this together, we're more alike than different, and queer liberation is in everyone's best interest. I think a decent amount of discourse comes from people with good intentions, but perhaps who aren't very experienced or who aren't very educated on queer history. Some have just allowed bigotry to seep into the way they build community though and that sucks.

[bicheetopuff]

time to be personal so anon goes on!

Feel free to ignore this, with the discussion about these topics I just want to express myself. I’m not expecting an answer, and if this makes you uncomfortable I apologize, as it’s not my intention.

I used to believe I was a cishet girl/woman for the longest time, and even doubted myself after finding out about my queerness for so many years, because of the portrait of heterosexuality and sex as needed in fandom from a young age (9/10 years old, the same time ppl would make a challenge to watch a hentai bl which involved a child with an adult and the main critic was about it being gay; the child was still older than me, and a friend and I watched it so we could see what was the big deal and challenge ourselves into being the one who could “handle it better” or “not be affected by it”. Yeah, totally didnt it affect us/s)

I remember my first crush on a girl, one of my best friends, and thinking I needed to see her in a sexual way in order to actually like her, and it just felt so, so wrong to see her like that. It was easier to be a guy’s plaything, it’s easier to be it in my head. I hate the internet. There is no safe space to hide in, and they teach us this is our only option when it’s full of creeps.

It doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all, I can actually relate as a genderfluid/transmasc person myself.

The way the world and media views women and afabs, especially if we’re talking like 10-15 years ago, has always been “if you’re not this, this, and this, then you’re not a proper woman” and that list of requirements of what a woman should and shouldn’t be puts young girls in such a small box that they’re not able to express themselves. We feel like we’re not given a choice until we grow up a bit and realize that we can be whoever the hell we want to be after so many years of feeling ashamed of who we wished we were.

i was diagnosed with PCOS in middle school which causes a higher testosterone level and since i realized i had it when i hit puberty, my voice got deeper and i started growing a lot of body hair and beard hair by the time i reached sophomore year of high school and i had so many guys call me disgusting if i didn't shave and conform. By this time i knew i was at least bi but I didn’t realize I was probably genderqueer until I was 19.

I’m glad I realized after high school though because now I live in a pretty accepting city and I don’t have to be around a bunch of annoying teenagers lmao. I don’t shave my legs or my face unless I want to and I stopped trying to mask my deep voice and now i feel free to be who I am. But I think it took me so long because of the toxic heteronormative portrayal of women in media, feeling like I had to follow orders of a man to be considered a “good girl.”

That being said I understand being a young closeted queer in inappropriate fandoms. Personally, I think I interacted with them as a kid because I felt the need to be non conforming in some way even if it was privately/on the internet under a burner account. Interacting which such content affected the way I viewed age gap relationships so as a teenager I honestly believed 14-20 was perfectly fine which caused me to talk to older men I shouldn’t have been talking to and it took me a couple of years to decondition myself from that mindset. Like you said though, it was a lot easier to be some guys play thing than to accept that you have a crush on one of your best friends. I really liked one girl all through out high school yet I only talked to men romantically because it was easier which is depressing to say. But, it also taught me a lot about how most men think and view women so now I just don’t talk to cismen at all which is probably a blessing.

I know this post is so long but I figured if you opened up, I could open up too. Plus most of these things I’ve said on my blog in the past anyway. I’m very open about my queer experience I just figure people wouldn’t want to read about it on a bkdk blog lmao.

But all this to say, I understand you, anon. The internet sucks but so does the real world tbh. You have to choose to exist as yourself in at least one of them even if it means you’ll run into questionable characters. My ask box and DMs are always open if you wanna talk!

[spellscarred]

The absolute bullshit of today's work meeting. My colleague and friend, a dark-skinned Afro-Latina, talked to our (interim) team coordinator about an instance of racism she encountered from someone taking a course from her. The only thing the (white) team coordinator had told her was, "Oh no, that's so terrible." I'd told my friend, one of the team coordinators has to talk to this person about this nonsense to let her know she can't get away with that shit, and it certainly can't come from you, because you'll just be labelled the "angry Black woman".

Today's meeting, that same team coordinator talked about it, because we were talking about stigma, and she said how surprised she was that my friend told her she experienced that, because she "suddenly realised that she had a different skin colour and I don't look at that that kind of thing."

And I was fuming, knew again that a correction to that very racist standpoint couldn't come from my friend, so I called her out on it, as a white-passing POC, like you should see her skin colour, because it gives her insights, experiences, and a view of the world we would otherwise be missing, and that her skin colour is something she has to carry with her every day, good or bad, that she can't "suddenly realise" she's a dark-skinned Black woman in a very racist society (this always surprises white Dutch people, lmao), and also, by saying you don't see the colour of her skin, you effectively strip her of identity and her experiences to make yourself feel better. Because it makes "white" the default, misallowing someone else to have a different skin colour to make her equal to you.

My friend didn't say anything while I called my team coordinator out, and the fellow (white) volunteer who came to defend the team coordinator for whatever reason, by saying I was speaking for my friend. I immediately turned to my friend, said, "if I go too far, you let me know." And she told me, no, you're good. And that shut that woman up, lmao.

Afterward while we were more alone, I told her that if she ever feels I'm speaking over her or her experiences, to let me know, immediately. She's not a timid woman either, so I know she will, thankfully, but that was not the place for her to have to defend herself against yet another racist, and I wasn't gonna let it fucking go, like how the fuck dare you? Not on my fucking watch.

Thankfully our other team coordinator, a white cishet men, has a dark-skinned Black wife and father-in-law, and if going to go to bat for her against the racist lady in the course.

[mxbitters]

hm.  this building that was like sort of in my neighborhood (i don’t typically walk that far but yeah i guess same neighborhood) that was like, old but kinda beautiful to me, apparently it used to be a casket place, but like they were gonna convert the building into a train station which would’ve been fucking great considering all the goddamn stigma against my neighborhood has left it so empty so like it would’ve been nice to at least have someplace to go!!!!  transportation is good and i don’t like driving!!! also my whole thought was hey!!!  maybe train = more people = yada yada demand for stuff = opportunity to bring back arts culture to the neighborhood like finally getting that theater moved in and also oh idk getting a music venue like we’ve been trying to do for years,,,,,,,, but lo and behold!!!!  yesterday morning that building got into a MASSIVE fucking fire and is gonna be demolished and like.  oh the town sure as HELL isn’t gonna be building something new for the possibility of a train station because they absolutely hate our neighborhood.  they absolutely loathe it.  so like there goes that like entirely.  damn.

[demonboyhalo]

If Tubbo isn't able to be L'Manburg's Prez he'll sure as hell conquer the OTV server with 5up and I think that'd be hilarious

Awww wholesome Tubbo! So glad L’Manberg has the rational, peaceful President it deserves…

[smile-files]

okay okay i just finished watching camp cretaceous and i gotta talk about ben. like as a character is he just so funny

ben starts out polite and shy and sweet and afraid of literally everything. like all the other campers have no idea why in god's name he's here (which is completely fair, as he doesn't seem to want to be here either) - but then he befriends an ankylosaurus, which he names bumpy blongy scimbly scromplo. and then he gets taken by a pterodactyl :)

i think one of the strangest things to me is how you have apocalypse shows like this and of the main cast only one will realistically react to almost being killed. like ben almost gets killed by a carnotaur after being separated from the group and the second he finds cover he just instantly starts crying and like. finally. the fact that i should consider that cathartic is ridiculous lmao

no but seriously it's so funny he's gone for a whole season i think and the second he comes back we get an episode about every new trauma he's unlocked. now he's paranoid and jaded and really disconnected from his friends (and people generally)... this boy fears death. this boy will poke death in the eyes. this boy's first best friend is a dinosaur. this boy will commit arson in self defense. this boy thinks everything threatens him and so will continuously commit arson unprompted. this boy has just screamed for the first time ever and is now startled by how loud he was. trauma catharsis boy! get beaten up by the narrative and then beat up the narrative in revenge! let's go!!

it's been a while so i don't remember how this was addressed right after he rejoined the other campers but anyway his friends are so shocked and so concerned and ben's like shut up i need to blow something up or i'm gonna have a panic attack. y'know eventually he eases back into the group and gets to be an absolute dork again but he's always trauma catharsis boy from here on out. even if he gets barely any screentime later on lol </3

um but yeah it's sad how in the later seasons (especially the last) we don't get much ben-centric stuff... like there was the thing about him not wanting to leave bumpy on the island but besides that it's mostly ben being a dork who knows way too much about explosives.

it's hilarious, ben is like... gay with no gaydar (in a general sense). i'm skipping ahead a bit but yeah when yaz comes out to him - not to say that cishet people can't understand or sympathize with queer experiences altogether but idk his response is so earnest and thought-out that it just seems to me that this boy is queer in some way himself (trans icon? trans icon). and then it's really funny because in the season before ben completely missed a social cue (autistic icon? autistic icon) and thought that yaz was into him when she was just trying to third wheel for someone else. like ben do you even know what flirting is? are you sure?

y'know actually ben is scared of everything for the whole series, it's just that now he chooses fight over flight. if you cover his eyes to play "guess who" he'll shriek, and immediately turn around and stab you. ben surprise party incident 5 dead 13 injured. that's really funny to me because it's taking the timid -> brave pipeline to the logical extreme: still terrified, but now with weapons lol

ben is so funny. my beautiful, disturbed, beautiful boy (to quote darius). my guy who starts a battle whenever he makes eye contact with someone. my scrawny kid with a giant dinosaur. my will byers kinnie. my boy who's better at combat than conversation. ben really carried camp cretaceous and you better admit it

[marciego]

Okay... top 5 SL moments this far and your top 5 Sl characters (this far)

let's go!!!

SL moments (not really in order)

eres in 01x38 i will NEVER recover from this is was such a cute and wholesome moment and they were just having so much fun, like it's genuinely one of the only soy luna moments i've rewatched quite a few times? man i love lumon

a bit hypocritical from someone who can't stand matteo i'll admit that, but profugos in 01x26, overall that open was so fun and i had so much fun this episode, but this performance is one of my favorite from the whole season, literally the only time matteo was being bi and it didn't make me go through the five stages of grief because i couldn't angrily call him cishet and idk it was just a very fun moment, i also think it was hilarious how the gayer matteo was acting the more eager luna was to get between him and simon like yes girl don't let the bitch hit on your man. also really a fan of the french translation of the lyrics specifically changing for this performance to acknowledge matteo was singing to simon and not to a girl lmao

that moment right after lumon's first kiss where simon asked her out on a date and immediately started running without waiting for her yelling "the last there pays!!!" and she ran after him complaining it wasn't fair like HELL YEAH that's the best friends to lovers content i was looking for!!!!

the roller band doing something nice for ramiro even tho he refused to give them that producer's number and that leading to ramiro genuinely reflecting on his behaviour like hell yeah!!!! ramiro had always showed he responded to encouragment and gentle explanations way better than harsh criticism and like seeing him actually, genuinely, trying to fix his mistakes because people were kind to him and that made him realize what he did was wrong? girl i was SO here for it, i was so happy!!!!!

i wouldn't say it's like. a favorite moment but gaston asking ramiro out stuck with me the whole season and i'm still WAITING to see them interact more so i'll answer that one

also as bonus one, not really a fav either but i was quite fond of gaston and nina's photography class moments

EDIT: forget gaston and ramiro or gaston and nina, i remembered an actual moment i loved with all my heart!!!! i don't remember when but at some point luna and simon danced together (maybe during the daniela arc?) and it was SUCH a wholesome moment, it really showed their love for each other and i was sitting there like UGH i love them so much!!!!

SL characters, not much has changed here but!

5. ambar but girl i feel so bad for this but i almost replaced her with sharon ����😭 LIKE in the end i didn't do it because i don't love sharon more than ambar but i find her to be such a compelling character? i think she's a good character but yeah in the end it would have felt wrong not to put ambar here, because she's just as interesting and i know she'll only keep getting better so i'm very!! and ESPECIALLY because it's ambar i would never have put sharon before her 😭

4. simon!!! best boy for real, he's such a good soul and i love him a lot <3

3. luna <3 honestly i hesitated a lot to put her second because the more episodes i'm watching the more she's growing on me, like i've always loved her but!!! she's so good!!! i love her!!! she's my baby girl and i want her to be happy!!! i think she's a good mc and i'm glad it's her story i'm following

2. delfi, lately the focus hasn't really been on her you know, which is also why i hesitated to put her third, but when i remember some of her scenes earlier in the season i get all !! she's just such an interesting character and i love her so much

1. ramiro <333 idk he just makes me so happy? like every time he's on screen i get :] and he's truly the only one making me feel that way in the show, i think i truly need more ramiro content if i want to get to the end of this show without losing my sanity because he just improves every scene he's in

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

definitive VERY SERIOUS ranking of MCU characters, best to trash

Gamora and Nebula - tied for first place because prickly, traumatized assassin women? that’s my shit. prickly, traumatized assassin women working through their issues TOGETHER and growing closer as sisters? YEAH, babey! that’s the shit! I love them and they deserved arcs that loved them, too. biggest injustice in the MCU.

Thor - absolutely excellent. amazing work. distinguished slut vibes and a radiant beam on sunshine in this shithole world. again, never saw Endgame, but he deserved better.

Sam Wilson - going strong since 2014, babey. just an all-around great guy, good for him finally getting his own show. will I be watching it? absolutely not. not a force on god’s green earth could make me care enough to pirate a marvel television show in this the year of our lord and savior 2020, even if he is a very cool dude with wings. 

Bucky Barnes - all the fun of Steve but no moral quandaries because everything bad that he did happened when he was being controlled by nazis and he feels really bad about it uwu

Peter Parker - yes OBVIOUSLY the movies did Peter dirty, we’ve all seen a fucking essay about it, making him Iron Man Jr was wack and being poor doesn’t look like that, but he’s cute and fun and I like Tom Holland, who was the emotional anchor who forced me to keep giving a sliver of a shit during Infinity War. Far From Home was pretty not good but would I see another Spider-Man movie? fuck, maybe.

Steve Rogers - idk I just think he’s neat. really love how he’s shaped like a dorito and hates nazis.

James Rhodes - I don’t think Rhodey’s ever said or done anything that wasn’t iconic and for that he deserves to be exactly one spot above his idiot best friend.

Tony Stark - I hold possibly the most unpopular opinion on Tony Stark on this entire hellsite, which is that he’s just fine. he’s fun sometimes, he’s irritating sometimes, he made some points during Civil War. he should probably lose more points for being a former war profiteer but if I started digging into comic book logic too much I’d have to change my url because Batman cooperates with cops and endangers children, so idk.

T’Challa - I don’t remember a TON about T’Challa’s actual personality because it’s been like 4 years since Black Panther came out and he had like 2 lines in Infinity War, but he’s a powerful nerd/jock multiclasser who spends most of his time surrounded by women who are very smart and dangerous and much cooler than him and I really respect that.

Natasha Romanoff - Natasha is difficult to rank because for a long time her dominant defining characteristic was being The Girl One, which means she has a different personality in pretty much every movie, and it was never interesting. if Marvel had rubbed two brain cells together and given her a solo movie between 2012 and 2015 she might have fared better, but alas. press F in the chat for Nat’s potential.

Groot, Rocket, Drax, Mantis - I love these funky socially incompetent aliens. more of them, please.

Bruce Banner - only interesting in Ragnarok when he’s Thor’s anxious comedic foil and boyfriend; thank you for that small gift, Taika. I never saw Endgame because I love myself, so I don’t know anything about professor Hulk and I don’t want to.

Peter Quill - fun in theory but loses points for being such a painful walking embodiment of the extremely heterosexual “idiot manchild gets hot competent gf by virtue of being white cishet protagonist man.” shut the fuck up she’s way too good for him.

Wanda Maximoff - despite all of Joss Whedon’s best efforts I really liked her in Age of Ultron and then my love for her just decreased with each subsequent appearance. like Natasha she was increasingly a different character each time; by Infinity War she didn’t have her accent anymore as if Elizabeth Olsen realized nobody else on set would remember or care about Wanda’s previous portrayals. on god I liked her so much that I was even down to root for her and Vision but then the majority of it happened offscreen and lost me forever. 

Pietro Maximoff - mmm watcha saaaaaay

Hope Van Dyne - cooler than Ant-Man but not by much. should have been a lesbian and kissed Pepper Potts in the moonlight. 

Carol Danvers - fuck dude idk, I’ve never seen a movie she’s in lmao

Ant-Man - the recurring joke with this bitch seems to be “haha can you believe he exists? that’s dumb!” and it is. it is dumb. why did we need him? it could have all payed off with him crawling up Thanos’ asshole and exploding but we didn’t even get that. bullshit. 

Vision - man, fuck, I tried to put him higher on the list than Peter Quill and I couldn’t make myself do it. that’s how goddamn boring Vision was. and you know what? fuck it, we’re putting him lower than Pietro, too. and even Ant-Man! we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here and he deserves it because I can’t think of one thing this dude did that I enjoyed other than being bad at cooking when he was trying to impress a girl.

Doctor Strange - I’m not going to make a Benedict Cumberbatch joke because that’s low hanging fruit but all I know is that this is the dude who’s mean to Tony in a horny way for five minutes of Infinity War. I never saw his movie, heard it was racist tho. and they didn’t even learn their lesson before they made Iron Fist! smh bombastic colonialism.

Clint Barton - last place because in the absence of a personality or interesting character arc I’m forced to judge him on the fact that Jeremy Renner radiates bad vibes and that in Endgame he gets a makeover that makes him look like he’d call me slurs for telling him to stop hitting on 16 year old girls at a gas station.

[romolite]

*Important FAQ*

Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.

First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa

Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)

Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for  “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.) 

Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all.  I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.

Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT

non-trans - cis

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. 

And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.

Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?

Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.

I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.

And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.

And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.

I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?

Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following

Why do you hate Ao3?

*long sigh*

I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.

And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?

What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?

[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]

TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.

What’s wrong with Hamilton?

Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all. 

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.

Do you want to be mutuals?

I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.

Why is it important to have byf or about?

1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion

2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)

3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.

Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.

I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).

Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked

I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.

Why am I blocked? Check here.

Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?

I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course! 

[mxlxdroit]

black sails s4e1 liveblog

the last season. wow. ok here we go

zach mcgowan’s name no longer being in the credits makes me kind of sad. by the end of s3 i really liked vane

they open with flint quoting the bible. love this show. also his point about the allinace of pirates he’s relying on being very tenuous is true

silver: if it makes you feel any better,

flint: ‘a little.’ lol. silver is still kind of a shit and i love him for it. i also appreciate that he and flint have a shared sense of humor

this is a bad picture but madi’s outfit here is great. i’ll be interested to hear more from her about why she doesn’t trust flint

jack knows how to give orders to an active crew now! growth. he’s gained blackbeard’s respect as well. also

it’s a trap! flint it’s so clearly a trap

ok i’ll give woodes rogers this one- he knows how to defend nassau

this is stressing me out so bad i’m going to save this as a draft and go watch something else. maybe go to sleep. idk i’ll be back

ok it’s several days later and i’m back

silver: if we don’t get these men off the ship, they’re dead

flint: if we don’t find a way to harass those guns, everyone’s dead

that sums up their priorities and dynamic at this point in the show huh

i hate woodes rogers.

nooooo the walrus… my baby :(

bear mccreary outdid himself on this one. 3.10 and 4.1 have some of the best scores in the show so far

aw shit this is so bad. i know silver doesn’t die but a lot of the other men do. and the walrus. i’m actually upset about them sinking the walrus. flint’s BOOKS are on that ship dammit!

‘my wife… i get why she did it but like. eleanor why

as someone who embroiders? mood. also it’s so weird to see eleanor still in her noblewoman clothes and embroidering, being hidden from a fight. i like scenes where she acts like she did before- cussing out soldiers, cussing while embroidering, taking over for rogers when he’s sick… she’s the same person, just trying really hard to be someone else

ok the show just said what i said so i feel validated. eleanor’s like ‘i’m a noblewoman now, so i might as well put in the effort to play the part.’ max is like ‘it bothers me that faking your personality doesn’t seem to bother you that much.’ eleanor: ‘we are who we are. nothing so important changes so quickly.’ SO GOOD

oof. OOF. i don’t think flint realizes how like. he’s just let madi know he has feelings for silver that are similar to hers. but he definitely has

silver: when flint and i are of the same mind we can do literally anything. i don’t know why that is. he doesn’t know why that is

madi: u may not know, but i have a pretty good idea

i also think madi is right about flint needing silver more than silver needs flint. i don’t like it tho bc i like flint more than i like silver lololol so i want their weird codependent relationship to continue bc it allows flint to be who he is. also silver has an advantage in that he has both flint and madi as friends/lovers (as well as having the men, sort of), while flint literally only has silver

YES ANNE. have i mentioned how much i love clara paget before because i love clara paget. she is so charismatic

woodes rogers is so mystified why nobody has offered him assistance in capturing the pirates… it’s because they don’t like you, king! ok it’s actually way more complicated than that in that you’re going against their status quo and offering them security over freedom which makes them unlikely to trust you even if they generally agree with you and also they’re all former pirates so they still have some loyalty to their brothers on the seas etc. but not liking you personally doesn’t help

NOOOO mr. de groot

‘flint’s inner circle’ lmao. good on him for telling rogers to go fuck himself tho

flint is lit and framed like he’s a shadow in his own house

woodes rogers’ comparison between what would happen if flint’s men captured 121 of his men vs what he’s going to do with flint’s men now that he’s captured 121 of them is so interesting to me. he wants to treat them humanely, in a civilized way- but their “trials” will still result in them losing their freedom or losing their lives. is it really more civilized to drag out that process if the laws are unjust and punitive? and if they will result in the same outcome?

oh billy. ohhhhh billy. and flint! their pride is getting in the way of everything like i GET it you guys have some nasty history but is this really what’s important right now? aaand madi to the rescue!!! only sane person on this show. i don’t think she’s going to end up queen of nassau but she’d be damn good at it

the whole scene with silver swimming makes me feel like i can’t breathe

oh my god the fucking dairy goat. it’s going to die. ok ya it did

i’m glad they lampshade the fact that jack could have killed woodes rogers in the carriage fight. he’s not the killing type, though

jack cares abt their legacy, anne cares abt their future… anne has figured out her identity while jack still feels insecure in his… anne isn’t willing to risk her life to avenge vane’s death while both jack and teach are willing to do really stupid things… so good so complicated i can’t even fully express all the layers of this scene

eleanor is realizing that rogers is going to take her sacrifices for granted because he doesn’t understand that they are sacrifices- and he still doesn’t respect max! and eleanor is like shit this did not turn out how i planned, this is the second relationship i’ve had with a man where he doesn’t view me as an equal only this time we’re actually fucking married and i have to deal with it maturely

rogers has fallen into the great trap of the noble cishet white man in england of this era- debt. money can be a great equalizer (allowing max to be powerful despite what england says, and rogers to be in deep shit despite his privilege).

good on eleanor for offering to use her family’s name to help him out. i may hate his guts but i respect what she’s doing here

oooh long john silver babey!

[feingeister]

How have your thoughts on the outing scene changed?

this is very long, unstructured and rambly, so i doubt anyone will want to read it, but your answer is under the cut.

(triggerwarning up here bc tumblr sucks: discussions of homophobia and transphobia)

i think initially, people hated the outing scene so much because we really, really didn’t expect it and because it was a shitty ending to a shitty episode. watching this show in real time is always a little rougher and a lot more intense and at that point it had been weeks since we last saw a smiling david (i think maybe we even had a counter for that?? lmao). to clarify, i’m not saying that anyone overreacted, but when this fandom is pissed off, it sometimes tends to go all out in ways i don’t necessarily agree with.

so basically, i moved from being angry and disappointed in the outing scene, to still not liking it but also being a little defensive over it, because i think the way some people talk about it is not entirely fair. i’ve seen a lot of people claim that david was outed for shock value and drama, just to get cis and/or straight viewers to sympathize with him. that’s a trope that’s been talked about a lot on this site and it is very rightfully criticized. i think that’s maybe why a lot of people interpreted this scene the way they did.

the whole “make lgbt people suffer in media so straight people will realize that we’re fucked and maybe have some goddamn sympathy” trope exists for a good reason, it did use to be a legitimate cry for help. nowadays, it doesn’t really work anymore because it is overdone and pretty much exclusively targeted at cishet people, when lgbt narratives should be targeted at or at least be watchable for lgbt viewers. i know that some lgbt people feel seen by that kind of content and find comfort in having their suffering reflected back at them, and while i can respect that, the trope obviously does more harm than good. what it does to most lgbt people is that they see how much their life sucks – which they already knew, they’re living it – and the message is that they’re probably gonna die unhappy or lonely or brutally murdered. there is also something very humiliating about constantly begging for other’s sympathy when you’d have every reason to despise them for letting you die by the masses and calling it a divine cleansing or whatever the fuck.  

to get back to the topic at hand – the problem with lgbt narratives in media in my opinion is not that lgbt characters have to suffer through hardships, it is that they are never rewarded for their suffering and they never find happiness, the only one being rewarded is the cishet viewer who gets to feel very kind and empathetic because they cried over one of the gays™ .

(there is also the problem that a lot of these narratives center around suffering when they really don’t have to, but i don’t think you can necessarily blame well written stories with a darker tone for that problem.)

i can’t tell anyone that david wasn’t outed for drama – of course he was, it’s a tv show – and that it wasn’t at least partially targeted at straight/cis people but this experience is a pretty central part to his narrative, he gets to properly deal with it and he ends up very, very happy with his boyfriend and his new friends, not only in the last episode of his season but in all of season four as well.

i’ve talked about david’s story arc a lot already and how i think it’s pretty centered around his (unhealthy) coping mechanism. first, we see david isolate and hide himself away, then we think he’s opening up but he’s only really opening up to matteo because he’s romanticizing the whole “you and me against the world“ thing. when he gets outed we truly realize that he really hasn’t let go of his run&hide approach (which makes it difficult for him to form, maintain and value connections to other people) during a catastrophe, because we see the catastrophe happen and it triggers that response. it retroactively becomes clear to the viewer that even if it seemed like david was doing better (and in a lot of ways he was! i don’t want to trivialize or downplay the fact that he came out to matteo on his own terms), he has some problems that romance can’t solve.

i’m not saying that this couldn’t have happened any other way or that the outing was ~absolutely necessary~, but you all know that i loooove the second pool scene and what it means for davids story. even if i don’t like the outing scene i can acknowledge that it does serve the narrative pretty solidly, which is why i don’t agree with the “only for drama” argument. in his talk with matteo, david finally makes the choice to rely on the support system that he has and it’s his step towards recovery. and it’s – again - a very solid narrative, it’s not “well you went through some shit and survived and now you’re badass”, its “your trauma doesn’t define you and even if you go through some shit, there are people who will love and support you and in loving them back you will find happiness, growth and recovery”.

ultimately, david’s arc doesn’t leave anyone feeling like life sucks and you just have to deal with it, it leaves with the message that even if things do suck, you can survive and be happy. so there, to me, lies the difference between the trope i talked about earlier and this storyline. instead of just showing a trans individual suffering to benefit cis people, this narrative acknowledges the suffering that trans people do face but it gives their character a happy ending, so anyone who might see themselves in david’s struggles, can also see themselves in his happy end, even if the latter is not (yet) a reality for them.

some other things i appreciate: david isn’t outed to us in that scene, his identity isn’t used as shock value, it’s not overly cruel and it’s very clear that outing someone, even if some people sympathize and no one outwardly attacks him, is a horrible and violent experience. but you know… is the bar really low enough for me to praise that?

all that being said, i’m absolutely not telling anyone how to feel, i don’t have the authority to do that and i don’t want to do that either. i really do understand why many people have an issue with this storyline and there are definitely things you can criticize about the scene. even if it was perfectly written, no one should have to justify not liking the scene and/or feeling hurt by it.

looking back, i don’t necessarily think that it doesn’t fit the tone of the show, but at the time we as a fandom didn’t really expect it and when these narratives come out of nowhere, they’re especially hurtful. and the whole thing did seem overdramatic – who filmed that exchange with mr. neuhaus? why are they only posting it now? why are they posting it at all? why did everyone immediately go and look at it and why is this all (in-)conveniently happening just as matteo is about to pick david up from school? and why is episode eight in general so shitty and weird?

aaaand lastly i just want to mention that i do realize how showing characters grow through things that are done to them can be a bit of a problematic narrative, because it could romanticize these experiences and give off a bit of a “you should be happy that you suffered because it made you stronger!! 😊” vibe, which is shitty, because trauma is trauma, no one deserves to go through it and no one should have to go through it just to “grow”. but you know, at least david never thanked anyone for outing him so we at least have that!

 that’s it, you can come for me now.

[sickeningradiances]

tagged by @cishethiruzen tysm!! ♥

What was your last

Drink: orange mirinda with ICE bc its SUMMER

Phone call: i dont remember but i dont talk to anyone else but momther

Last text: i just checked my texts and theyre all from bank and me asking the operator how much money i have...

Last song: Dehumanized by Disturbed

Last time I cried: its been some time! a good month! so im gonna say a month back from frustration

Have you ever dated anyone: i had.. 2 girlfriend and one boyfriend, who was a cishet, so in retrospect i hope he never finds out i discovered my gender

Kissed some one and regretted it: yep, im gonna say my ex bf

Have you ever been cheated on: not to my knowledge

Lost someone special: a few friends stopped talking to me, but im not mourning that anymore

Been drunk and thrown up: i havent been drunk for 3 years, but before that i did not throw up

List three favorite colors: gold, black, red (yes basic)

In the last year have you…

Made a new friend: yes it helped me a LOT with mental health

Fallen out of love: not yet but hopefully ill lose this stupid crush

Laughed till you cried: YEA when i killed ashe with my sparrow

Met someone who changed you: yes i’d say all of my new friends have helped me to become better

Found out who your true friends are: i guess?

Found out someone was talking about you: not to my knowledge.. Yet

Kissed someone on your FB friends list: i have no gotdamn idea whos on my fb friends list but i did not Kiss Anyone so either way no lmao

General

How many ppl do you know on your FB list irl: i have a feeling this thing is from facebook

Do you have any pets: MY CAT.... LIL SASKE, OR PIZZA JR i love him so much every day i am excited to come home to see him

Do you want to change your name: one day when i transition

What did you do for your last birthday: im Pretty sure i played overwatch as a highlight of the day

What time did you wake up today: 7:35 and i was late to work but 4 hours of sleep do that

What were you doing at midnight last night: gaming.. well i go to sleep at midnight so finishing up (and then i listened to mbmbam for 2 hours)

Something you cannot wait for: week in august when i’ll be home from work lmao AND destiny shadowkeep

Last time you saw your mother: this morning

What is one thin you wish you could change about life: about my life you kn ow... transition. but about life in general, im gonna say i wish climate change wasnt a thing and rich people wouldnt be killing planet but o Boy

What are you listening to right now: Walk away from the sun by Seether

Have you ever talked to a man named Tom: i dont think so?

What’s getting on your nerves: work... colleagues think i can write for 7 hours in this heat with my tired jello hands

Most visited website: ouch tumblr

Nickname: Pizza

Relationship status: single and dumbass

Zodiac sign: virgo

Pronouns: he/him

Fav tv shows: i dont remember..i dont really watch Anything but i do read books so here’s current two: ascension (obviously) and Ninefox Gambit (and rest of the triology) by Yoon Ha Lee

Hair color: brown, all red has grown out

Long or short: short

Height: 173cm..i think 5′7

Do you have a crush on someone: dont call me out

What do you like about yourself: i am really loving this new Can Read Books Pizza that ive never met before, i can finally focus on something for a while

Tattoos: constellation of virgo on my forearm, i want taurus next and capricorn after

Righty or lefty: right and i have to look at my arm everytime im trying to say sides

First surgery: none

First piercing: none agane

First best friend: in kindergarden i used to  have friend called Niki cause no one else liked me, so when she wasnt in for a day i just. sulked alone ajkfsk but also we could say my cousin michelle

First sport you joined: i liked and still like only volleyball

First pair of trainers: i dont fucking know

Right now

Eating: early dinner cause i had munchies

Drinking: same orange soda

Listening to: second one in same quiz.. well song changed so Words as Weapons by Seether (i am listening to only seether today for some reason)

Want kids: Not At All

Career: Ive always wanted to write or paint..but my interests dont hold for long

Which is better

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kisses: casually hugs but i woudlnt mind kisses smh

Shorter or taller: Everyone Must Be Shorter Than Me

Romantic or spontaneous: rrromantic?

Nice stomach or nice arms: ?? arms? id say hands

Sensitive or loud: sensitive.. whatever but not loud

Hookup or relationship: relationship ig

Troublemaker or hesitant: i used to be troublemaker but now hesitant

Have you ever

Kissed a stranger: no

Drank hard liquor: uhm yea im slavic

Lost glasses/contacts: never had glasses

Sex on the first date: i dont think ive had DATES but either way no

Broke someone’s heart: i think all of my exes broke up with me

Had your heart broken: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Been arrested: lmao i dont go outside

Turned someone down: that would require people to ask me out lmao

Cried when someone died: i dont

Fallen for a friend: HEY I SAID DONT CALL ME OUT

Do you believe in

Yourself: IM TRYING

Miracles: hmmm depends

Love at first site: nnooo

Santa Claus: we  dont have santa lmao but i didnt believe in baby jesus for long either

Kiss on the first date: oh Yea

Angels: i want to but not christian angels.. just some supernatural beings

im tagging (sorry lmao i have no friends) @ashesucksatowofficial @artimidas @uchithot and @lady-efriyeet hi

[anissapierce]

this is apropos of nothing uve posted, i was just blog hopping and needed to share the utter hilarity of ppl trying to redefine the term QB so it applied to canon-gay they're not interested in: a show's gay ship isn't the central focus? QB. a show's gay rep is 'easy'? QB. a trashy show has gay rep? Omg don't you know that's WORSE than no rep at all?? QB. and the kicker? they're all the same st*cky/d*stiel ilk(with the occasional-

- h*nnigram bc that's Proper gay-rep) like it's painfully obvs they want to make themselves Look Better for shipping Basic white m/m, so they throw around words and terms to de-legitimize the rep we're seeing more of bc they're stuck in m/m 'subtext' fandom and instead of moving forwards: tear down out of bitterness instead(plus i just generally disagree with the notion that all gay-stories have to be Good, fuck that we can have trash-garbage fun too, it's Equality)-

- it's just funny to see these ppl writing long-winded posts about why x-Clearly Straight media is actually somehow some Perfect bastion of queerness bc they can't admit they've been kidding themselves for 10+ years, it's both funny and really, really sad. oh and s*n/m*u fans mocking other silly media? lmao, yeah like those are anything other than mid-tier trash-fun and in s*n's case: has only gotten worse over the years and is now ur bog-standard soap opera lvl of quality--

for me QB is a term that fandom in general has watered down too much and gets applied to any m/m ship that gets popular but isn't canon. like no, they're friends and you read too much into it, it IS in fact that simple(and ofc, as i've seen u post, characters/ships that actually would twig fandom's QB!! radar if they were two white guys are never included in these histrionics) but anyway, sorry to descend into ur inbox, i hope ur having a good day or evening :)

_________________________________________

Oh yeah for sure qbait has been watered down ? 110% and this is unrelated to anything I've said tonight but I constantly harangue of the fact tht fans never bring up instances of qbaiting (for humor !) Used in Scrubs,Common Law,Psych,Almost Human, iZombie, Community,Big Bang Theory . Where a man of color (three cases here its south asian men, but most listed here involve black men) is being presented as gay* and the joke is positioning the man as too close to his friend or others assuming their gay or him and his friend emulating a couple. And like occasionally bbt gets brought up as a footnote for those articles but like .. it doesnt deserve academic regur to the subject but it's kind of needed?

And yeah fans deluding them is so fucking true like I complain abt white man worship disease (Google's keyboards next suggested word was 'disease' btw) n thts truly wht it is and also wht causes lesbians to headcanon all these shitty white Canon cishet dudes as like trans women ....bc they feel guilty. When rlly like .... Diversify your pallet. And lol I haven't seen supanastyworld fans do nething bc like entirely different Spheres but the idea of them mocking ne1 is so... And yewh this all just reminds me of ppl praising Neilman bc thts the fandom tht I occasionally bump into now and putting transphobic and homophobic potrayals on like lists of lgbtq rep tht he's contributed to

And i agree w u Abt trashy tv too like I've watched many a websrs bc it had gays of color or just gays n most had subpar quality but that's Fine. Ppl don't appreciate the art of shitty corny trashy gay art nemore.(not to sound like john waters)* (which is different but connected than the trope of the effeminate asian/brown guy where the joke is him not adhering to Western masculinity ideals, bc I could add parks and rec to this along w a bunch of other shows).

[monstress]

any korean variety show recs?

alright so saddle up because this is long

 for new watchers who know next to nothing about the korean entertainmentindustry, wants to learn more abt culture:

abnormal summit, esp s1. group of semi-diverse expat panel discussculture/issues and how it pertains/compares to south korea and their owncountries. also ngl some of the panels are hot so shoutout to sam oykere anddaniel from australia.

first time in korea. changing guest of long-time expats bring their friendsover to south korea to experience the culture for the first time. you getrambunctious friend shenanigans and crash course of interesting places to visit+ eat.

korean food table. long-ass running, well-beloved food show. im hungry.

for new watchers who want to get into it because of the hallyu wave:

x-man. the start of it all. fixed members and guests play games and try tofigure out who is the spy among them. the precursor to running man. it endedyears ago but it’s LEGENDARY. i can’t tell u how many clips from some eps thatare still being played on other shows today. see your favorite stars at theirmost humble of beginnings. introduction to the dominating MCs of today: yoojaesuk and kang hodong.

happy together s3 (the sauna version). the only talk show of its kind withequal number of male and female mcs (sad ik). funny as hell, even withnon-celebs guests. way back when even jun hyun moo, the MC with the most showson his belt right now, was a nobody and made his bread and butter dancing toshinee’s Lucifer. great talking segments which i’m sad they got rid off in thelater iterations.

strong heart. a talk show where celebs share interesting stories from theirlives. if you can manage through kang hodong’s overly boisterous MC style,there are some absolute gems from this show but imo just watch based on theguests. also lee seunggi!

knowing brothers. popular talk show with a school-like setting. imo watch it based on the guests, again if you can manage through kang hodong lmao

i can see your voice. celebrity guests try to guess if a person is a good singer or tonedeaf.already multiple versions in asian countries. honestly surprised americansdon’t get in on this.

masked singer. a panel try to guess who the voice from an unknown, masked singer belongsto. i don’t know why they made an american version since the formula is onlythrilling with a tight-knit industry but ok!

weekly idol. if you’re into kpop, surely you’ve seen random dancing segmentsby now. watch it based on who you stan i guess.

doesn’t care about idols, just want to have fun:

new journey to the west. cast travels to a country and needs to win gamesfor food/sleeping place/dragon balls. fuckinnnn??? hilarious?? established cast and production team chemistry (from their previous show, 1night2days) so even the pilot doesn’t have new cast awkwardness. stellar editingand ingeniously entertaining yet simple games. they’re not afraid to rip eachother apart (some of the members’ have some…interesting past which is fun tobring up).

i live alone. a clip show of an average day of celebs who live alone. while it does haverotating celeb guests, the major draw of the show is the permanent panelmembers established in 2017, esp park narae (who is a legitimately talentedentertainer and tbh deserves better! you’ll get what i mean when u watch theshow!!).

omniscient interfering interview. clips of daily lives of celebs and their managers (who in the industry arealways in the shadows but now it’s their time to shine). wildly popular thateven most of their managers have shot for commercials. watch for the fooddescriptions from lee youngja which was a career-defining talent for her thatshe won the channel’s top entertainment award. the first woman to have everdone so across all three major channels.

infinite challenge. this show has a LOT of episodes but imo watch these specials: the ballroom dance eps, the summer music festivals, bobsleigh challenge, calender model challenge, extreme part-time job, history x hip-hop, the jack black eps, saturday saturday i am a singer, and the (very incredible, very powerful) express delivery special. iconique.

running man. i’m amazed that this show is still airing. the choi minsoo eps and sherlockeps are one of the show’s stand-out. again, if you’re into the cast chemistry,check this out.

2 days 1 night (s1, skip to s4). where the new journey to the west’s cast chemistry and production team isfortified! season 1 was very popular but it ended because the director wantedto pursue his studies. season 2 and season 3 tried to capture its magic with new casts and directors but it just wasn’t the same. when season 4 came ploddingalong, people thought it’ll be canceled soon enough. the newest director was amentee of the original director though and with great luck in the new cast, season 4was herald as the show’s comeback. the ‘no smoking’ episode was brilliant. edit post chatroom scandal: from the bottom of my heart, don’t watch s4 because of one member who is an honest-to-god piece of shit.

what on earth??. an underrated show! a limited series of four men who embarks in a dangerouscross country trip. the first few eps was set in a Qatar desert, the next inthe wetlands of Scotland. educational, good chemistry btwn the members, sharpediting. also not gonna lie part of the reason i did watch this was for ji jinhee. sue me i was in a jtbc misty withdrawal! shares the same director as 2d1n season 4!

sister’s slam dunk. a rare show with an all-female cast with the premise of fulfilling eachmember’s dream with the help of the other members. honestly just watch seasonone for min hyorin’s dream of debuting as an idol (hence dragging in the othermembers too, much to the chagrin of the older members). if you like thechemistry between members enough, stick around! the cast is funny andcharismatic and it’s just (sniffs) i love women! i still bop to the songs onthe regular too.

doesn’t care about guests, just want to relax (my fave kind):

lee hyori’s bed and breakfast. popstar lee hyori and husband opens up their home as a bread and breakfast. depression? cured! streamit on netflix!

little house in the forest. this show is glacial…in the best waypossible. it’s like an ingmar bergman film. honestly best to watch when you’rein bed ready to sleep

youn’s kitchen. legendary actress youn yeo jung opens a restaurant in a foreigncountry with season one in indonesia, season two in italy. idyllic af.

hodong’s kitchen. a spinoff show with the cast from new journey to thewest (they won a bet that if they win a game, their wish is to shoot a showlike youn’s kitchen since they share the same director). if you like the njttwcast and want to see them run a small restaurant, here’s your show!

blind date cafe. what it says on the can. blind dates are done in a cafe withwaitservice that consist of musician lee juck, actress yoo inna,comedian yang sehyung and sf9 member rowoon. it’s very…cishet lmao buti love yoo inna and will watch her wait for paint to dry. some of the couplesare EXTREMELY valid tho (if anything, watch for the webtoon artist andchildrens horror book author! i STAN their love!)

coffee friends. actors set up a cafe. fulfill your coffee shop au daydreamwith yoo yoon seok here!

may food bless you. a team of close female friends that consist of actress hwayeong and comedian lee youngja, song euni, and kim sook gives advice and suggest food to aid for submitted concerns while having a meal. a great show to watch while having dinner.

note: these shows…aren’t perfect. lemme be upfront that there can be elements of casual -isms in them (the relaxing shows are generally okay tho) and i’m just gonna leave it at that.

[morepopcornplease]

hi! i just want to start by saying that i love your blog so much! not only do we both love lena luthor and thirteenth doctor, but as a side b bi catholic, your blog has also been super helpful. I have a question that i’m not really sure how to explain. Like i know that i’m bi, and i don’t really know how to phrase this but idk how much i should relate to the lgbt community. Like i often feel myself drawn more towards people than people in traditional circles. (1/3)

And i think a lot of that has to do with the fact that my views towards other subjects (equality, universal healthcare, immigration etc) align much better with those of the many people in the lgbt community, and my faith is strong and nothing is going to change that, but idk if i’m too accepting of my sexuality like this is so stupid, but i don’t even know if i should be shipping gay couples (even though they are almost always the ones i seem drawn to in the shows i like lmao). (2/3)Idk i just don’t want to go too far? Is there even a too far as long as don’t have a relationship with a girl?This is kind of rambly and i don’t really know if it makes sense, but if i’m going to give up being with another girl, i don’t want to be sinning anyways and i don’t want to upset God. (3/3)

There’s a lot to unpack here! Sorry it took me a bit.

The queer community doesn’t have a gatekeeper hold over the concept of equality, universal healthcare, or immigration. 

In fact, before Roe v Wade, Catholics mostly voted democrats, because they protect all other interests that were grounded in Catholic morality, not to mention Catholics were immigrants to this country like the Irish, Italian, and my beloved Polish. 

So I just don’t see how this is an issue. If you want to talk to me about why I’ve voted Democrat and will continue to do so, talk to me off-anon. I’ve already angered some conservative Catholics I’m sure *distant hiss*

I’m not sure what grade of “too accepting” of your sexuality is. Even the wording feels Ex-Gay in this context (the idea that you should always, always be fighting against your sexuality if it is anything other than “cishet”). 

But this is what I don’t think I’ve stressed enough about my sexuality: by accepting that this is what I have been given, and the crosses I must carry with it, I am far more at peace than I ever was before, and I can focus fundamentally on my actions. Escaping the very concept of gayness is just….insane. That leads to general unhappiness even if you’re straight (ie straight guys not wanting to appear gay and so aren’t affectionate with other men in a way that is ultimately unhealthy).

Shipping. 

Truth be told, I am not the best person to ask this question, because I am just TIRED of trying to moralize not just shipping, but the media we consume in general. 

We could talk about how I shouldn’t cheer Sansa on when she watches her rapist get eaten by dogs in Game of Thrones, because it’s not perfectly aligned with Catholic morality. 

We could talk about how later Gospels, John in particular, openly blamed Jews for Christ’s death, and how director and open anti-semite Mel Gibson chose to downright REVEL in this when he made Passion of the Christ. 

We could talk about how even the media we love, like The Lord of the Rings, chose to depict all vaguely-human races that sided with Sauron and the forces of evil as…you guessed it!… non-white. And then Peter Jackson chose to keep that in the movies. Maybe even embellish it a bit.

And yes, we could even talk about how on a Catholic geeks page, a mother was frightened at the thought of her children watching Alex Danvers’ coming out story, and when I asked her how she felt about the hero of the show having premarital sex, including a naked man post-coital onscreen, she went on a long explanation that started out with “yes, but….!!”

I’m so tired.

If you want to really know how I justify loving Supercorp as much as I do, I almost always frame it in a way that this gifset sums up quite well. There’s a reason it’s become THE Side B Angst ship: the coming out metaphor of being a super in disguise, the weirdly gay tension surrounding their interactions despite it not being obvious to either character (hell maybe even because of it), the fact that neither of them ever really felt comfortable and have had childhoods of ostracization and impossible expectations to live up to, the fact that said coming out metaphor has a real chance of breaking up their friendship, or damaging it in a severe way….

And ultimately why I identify so strongly with it: Two friends, in love, in a way that the show will never make happen or allow to happen. Yeah. For all my genuine confidence in my choices and general happiness that I’ve found, that right there sums up the Side B story pretty damn well.

I have no idea if this was helpful. I hope it was. 

I guess in general all Catholics should make sure to not be too obsessed with media. We are called to care for, worry about, and fight for greater things.

[maddsmallow]

complaining about a conversation i had with one of my husband’s friends, tw contains transphobia and other sensitive topics that might be triggering

so me and my husband went down south to reykjavik for the weekend and on saturday night i was gonna be the designated driver (cant drink bc of meds rip @ me) for him and one of his friends that he rarely gets to see anymore since they live like the whole island across from each other

and we watched the icelandic show where they were voting on who would represent iceland at this year’s eurovision while they pre-gamed, and at some point my husband was like im almost 100% certain he’s a chill guy to come out to, he knows like at least one other trans person. so i was like yeah okay, if you wanna tell him go ahead, pretty sure it’s bothering you more than me lmao. so we told him, and it spurred like an hour fucking long conversation about how he just doesnt get the whole trans thing, especially anything out of the binary.

it’s wednesday and i am still fucking exhausted from it holy shit

kept sayin shit like “i am a christian man so i believe in man and woman” and “i think blind faith is one of the worst things a human can do” in terms of faith that im nonbinary, as if that’s something to question like he knows me better than i know myself, as if he didnt just fucking say he believed in god lmao. at one point was like “if a man were to r @ pe you, would you become pregnant” like ????????? what the fuck does that have to do with ANYTHING are the cishets okay,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

of course i was straight up with him, i knew my husband would back me up and i wasnt scared or anything. at one point i was just like “what gives you the right to think about my vagina? you’re not my doctor” and the silence afterwards was *chef’s kiss*

anyways

the absolute worst fucking part of it all is that, after all of that and him not even understanding after ALL of that

is that now im here worried that he doesnt like me because we had that conversation,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

like mans was really transphobic to my face after trying to come out and THAT’S what i’m worried about?? hate that thanks.

i have spent that like like 8+ years or whatever that i’ve been (relatively) out meticulously navigating my way around social situations that would put me in a spot like that where i would have to actively defend my Literal Fucking Identity and now that i’ve had to go through it, i have no idea how to handle it

anyways i ended up having a full on meltdown at the first pub we went to because there were so many fucking people without masks or anything and the guy at the table we got shoved to told us to fuck off, so my husband had to navigate me to the hotel room and then walk all the way back downtown lmao :^)))) good times good times