#cis people drive me fucking insane

[profmori]

remember when mq left, xie lian only remembered him cause he wanted someone to wash the dirty clothes. i think about it alot.

[ahamkara-apologist]

you're so right fr. there are so many incredibly written female characters in d2 but there's a mere insignificant pittance of fanworks around them. as a day 1 failsafe lover it drives me nuts how little people seem to care about her. like. maybe bungie was right the fanbase doesn't even see her. and Ada? Ana bray? Elsie? even Eris or ikora? they may as well not exist for how the fandom treats them. but crow is a twink (twunk?) so yknow

A Failsafe stan omg...I'm so sorry my liege you're in the fucking trenches and have my deepest sympathy. I remember when Echoes came out people were like 'eugh Failsafe's humour didn't age well' and I was like...buddy. Failsafe is fucking hilarious. The fact that people were complaining about her humour as if Cayde wasn't the personification of annoying 2014 funnyman is fucking insane to me. I'm convinced that the only reason why Cayde's humour isn't cringe to them while Failsafe and Nimbus's jokes are is bc Cayde is perceived as a cis straight man to the gamerbros (even if there's not a snowflake's chance in hell he is, and robots are inherently trans) while they aren't. And the other girls? Whatever. Practically don't exist as far as fandom is concerned. Again, the fact that Revenant has Eramis as one of the main players in the plot- a nuanced, morally grey old grouch- and yet there is almost NO fan content on her ain't just because Bungie's quality has been piledrived into the ground. It's because she's a woman and a lesbian and thus everything that SHE does is awful and annoying and irrational and hypocritical, when you KNOW that if she were a man, nobody would give a fuck. It would all be 'oooh babygirl I love his dramatic ass' and shit with people crying over how tragic 'he' is and whatnot. But bc Eramis isn't some conventionally attractive twink, it's just radio silence out here. Meanwhile Crow is just a member of the supporting cast, and yet almost all the fanart and fanworks seem to feature him. It's a goddamn travesty, and I'm saying that as someone who likes Crow!

You're wrong on one account tho, and it's that Eris DOES exist to the fandom- but only if it's in ship content with Drifter. Nothing else. Though half the time she's not even acting like Eris bc a lot of shippers seem to think that they're 'fixing' each other instead of bonding over ways to do batshit insane bs in their free time. All her other significant relationships? Out the window. Gotta pare them down to an enemies to lovers trope where slurs are seen as cute. Which is insane to me bc like...the thing that makes Drifter and her relationship great is the fact that they're both freaks, and yet many people seem to want them to fit the parameters of a normal relationship. Like my sister in the light those are two new guys at this point

[ravi-is-my-beloved]

No for real, it kinda pisses me off that people saw Eddie, Mr. I Can Help You With My Swedish Side and I Will Punch You Out if You Shit Talk My Son, and were like “oh he’s gonna be Gerard’s crony” and “he’s gonna betray the 118 and side with Gerard” but the moment Buck is shown with Gerard it’s “oh Buck would never do that” and “he must be plotting something to take Gerard down”

Like, 1) Eddie loves the 118 just as much as Buck (( remember this is the family we chose scene )) 2) he’s a Mexican man. Do you think he wouldn’t be a target for Gerard?

I love Buck but the woobfication of him where he can never do wrong drives me fucking insane, especially bc I think a lot of queer white people come from a place of privilege where they don’t acknowledge that racism and misogyny are v much still a huge problem in this world and that homophobia is not the only form of bigotry that impacts people

No matter how much people may try and think Eddie can just hide the fact that he's Mexican, he can't. There's no way Gerrard will be wanting Eddie to be on his side once he hears Eddie's last name. And you can't make me think that Eddie, even with all he's going through right now, would ever want to side with Gerrard.

And before anyone comes at me with "Oh, Ryan said Eddie would keep his head down", there's a difference between keeping your head down and actively participating in bigotry, which is what some fans have speculated Eddie would do. Also, in that same interview, Ryan said Eddie could also punch Gerrard. But somehow, that's not being talked about nearly as enough as the keeping his head down comment.

Also, I'm sorry to say this, but it is more likely that Buck would side with Gerrard than it is that Eddie would.

No, I'm not saying that either of them would side with Gerrard, but that if anyone would, Buck would be more likely to do it. Because unlike the rest of the current 118, he's a cis white man who very few people know is bisexual. There's no true guarantee that Gerrard would target him for his bisexuality because it's something he can hide, which is not the case for anyone else on the team.

When it comes to these fans who say these things, it is their own biases that are saying they can't see Buck siding with Gerrard. Buck is a white man and there's so many years and years of other white people propping themselves up to be morally superior, that they can't do anything wrong. We're seeing these fans essentially spew this same line of thinking when it comes to Buck (and Tommy, let's be real) and it is a real problem in this fandom.

And no, you're not a monster for believing in the racist rhetoric that has been hammered into your brain since you were children. But you first have to acknowledge that it is your biases that make you see what you're seeing before you can go about unlearning those biases.

[tirfpikachu]

Fictionkin really did contribute to the trans boom more than people usually give it credit

hahahhhaa yeah man i vaguely heard about.... that stuff..... so dumb....... dumbass kids being trans for tunglr blorbos............

[dabs in detrans kinnie]

no but forreal... kinnie stuff was a HUGE part of me getting attached to the idea of me living as male. it was maladaptive daydreaming taken to the EXTREME and i was allowed to roleplay it online, which eventually became roleplaying irl, and then whenever i felt scared i wasn't trans i'd get reaffirmed right away that there's no way a cis woman would feel this way, and so i'd stick with it. i wanted to look like so many male blorbos in big part bc NO BLORBINAS LOOKED MASC ENOUGH!!! the masc blorbina count was unbearably low, i didn't see girls like myself anywhere. i didn't see myself be celebrated. not all trans-identified people are trans for those wrong reasons, but talking with other detrans folks... yeah, there's a huge link between fiction escapism and being detrans/post-trans. especially if you're already prone to dissociation and psychosis like i was hahahh... what d'you mean, i can reinvent myself?! what do you mean i can be those tumblr sexymen i see women fawn over?? i can be BETTER than what i am? i don't have to be a boring ass hairy ugly dyke? turns out though... hehe... sapphics fucking love boring ass hairy dykes. this is why homosexual culture & non-trans gnc culture needs to be more available to folks. we need a stronger sense of community and reconnect with our history. we also need to be wary of attaching ourselves too tightly to labels too quickly. it's 1000% okay to experiment, and fiction can be a way to explore yourself and all that. but be aware that suddenly calling yourself a different name, using different pronouns, making appearance changes with binding etc actually can induce dysphoria in yourself. it did with me!

get treatment for your non-trans symptoms first. go thru it like a checklist. go slow. have an actual questioning phase not just OMG I CAN BE A SUPER SWAG TRANS GUY/GIRL AND BE SO MUCH BETTER AND CUTER AND MORE RADICAL!!! and don't only talk to people who are visibly excited abt the prospect of you being trans. talk to level-headed folks who are trans-friendly but also nuanced, and will reaffirm that being gnc is okay too & that sometimes dysphoria really can be a temporary episode. it really can be healed in some cases, it was for me. it's good to go through options first, it doesn't mean you can't be trans in the end! if anything it'll just give you more resolve if you know you did your proper research. people rush so fucking much, man. it's not good for us. and kinnie shit can literally drive you insane. especially if you're prone to craziness like i am. be careful with that stuff... it can get into maladaptive daydreaming territory, and that's not actually all funsies. it can genuinely become debilitating and all-consuming. be safe kids 👍

oh, also, vaguely related but... hetero people can have funky experiences with gender nonconformity too! y'all can form really cool communities; the punk scene and hippie scene was always full of you guys and you proved that being gnc doesn't make you gay, which greatly benefits gay rights too. you don't need to be a normie cishet OR a trans/nonbinary person. there are in-betweens. ily gnc people! tomboys, femboys, metrosexuals, handsome girls, pretty boys, i love us so much and i WANT more gnc ppl in the world, het included. you can still have radical anti-patriarchal subcultures. ofc it's okay if you end up being trans, but don't just immerse yourself in it right away. you always have options as a gnc person and they're ALL awesome.

gnc people YOU ARE MY WHOLE ASS WORLD!!! 🧡🧡🧡

[sleepygremlin11]

The reactions to Miquella as a character is honestly so telling about the broader souls gaming community. I mostly mean on Reddit because I am like 90% straight cis Reddit guys couldn’t analyze a evil character with any sort of benefit of the doubt. TLDR at the bottom because I’m a hoe who loved to ramble…

I’m not gonna pretend that I have a perfect grasp on Elden ring lore, so if anyone notices anything like crazy wrong with this feel free to let me know. But, from what I have seen on YouTube and Reddit people are desperate to make miquella out to be the most evil mf to ever exist in a video game. In all of the analysis I’ve seen of him as a character. People don’t seem to want to acknowledge that he’s probably mentally stunted from his curse. Like be so for real 10-year-olds are the most evil motherfuckers to ever exist, being stuck like that for hundreds of years, would drive anyone to a little bit of mass genocide. People also don’t want to see that he had majority positive intentions, and if you’re looking at it in a way that acknowledges that he’s probably despite his actual age only thinking with the mental capacity of a young child, the sort of black-and-white morality that he used in his campaign is completely fitting for a kid of that age. I think dudes on Reddit just are all not allowed within 60 feet of school so they’ve never interacted with children before, but I think if I asked my cousins that are that age they would solve a corrupt world they would say they would force everyone to be nice if given the opportunity.

Also, please take a second to consider the situation he was raised in before you make judgments on him just being a completely morally black character. Marika is absolutely insane from what we know of her, and wouldn’t you know it? So much of what Miquella does is similar to his mom. But he also leads with intentions to be better than her and a more positive force broadly. anyone who has played Elden Ring can and should tell you that the setting of the game is absolutely grim dark. Most of the characters you meet want you dead and if they don’t want you dead, they will probably end up dying by the end of the game. Even in the games happiest endings, the end is still bittersweet and nothing is really fixed. particularly because that’s just what the souls like genre goes for in it’s messaging.

I don’t want to make baseless accusations of homophobia to an entire group of people and a fandom that is admittedly accepting for websites that tend to be cesspits of homophobia and transphobia. But I feel like despite They being similar intentions and results Rahni does not get as harsh of a reaction as Miquella does. I firmly believe that this is because he is one of the few queer characters that we see in any soul games. It’s of course not great that the one aspect of queer representation is an incest pairing where one of them is getting molested. But I would still categorize him as a queer character. I think with a het pairing people would be more willing to make the relationship seem less predatory, but because it’s a queer relationship and Miquella is admittedly a bad character, people don’t look at their relationship with any sort of nuance. Radahn and Miquella are not the only examples of incest in Elden ring, and I think it’s also very common for stories based on pantheons to have incest. That sure is weird as hell, not a good thing, and it’s weird as fuck in my opinion. But it’s common in these stories. This could just be me being naïve, but I have never seen such a harsh reaction to a couple in media even when discussing other similarly, toxic and abusive pairings within media.

Idk if anyone’s willing to share their thoughts on this, I am more than happy to talk in the comments, so please let me know what you think 🥺

TLDR: Miquella is an evil but well written character and his actions make sense in the story. Fandom should not regard him as harshly as they do. Especially on sites like YouTube and Reddit, which are adorably dominated by straight cis men. I think part of the reason fandom reguards him so harshly in these communities is because he is a canon queer character. It’s also two in the morning right now when I’m writing this so this probably makes no sense and I’ll delete it tomorrow. 





[nightcolorz]

it's so crazy that people are out here making literal terf arguments over a fictional gay couple

also it was taking me out how that reply was literally citing examples of Louis' textual racial oppression as evidence of him being a subtextual woman like is that really what we're doing now?? Lestat owns the Azalea on paper because Louis can't own it as a black man during Jim Crow not because Lestat is equally invested in running the business as The Man like it's 1000% Louis' thing, and ignoring the strategic ways he operates his business black man just bc you're uncomfortable with the moral nature of that business is so blatantly insulting to Louis character and agency it's ridiculous. Like if Louis is a woman the majority of these people are being unironically sexist towards her because they like the boring self-insert wattpad version of her they created in their heads rather than the actual character.

sorry for the rant you can feel free to ignore it but that was driving me crazy

don’t apologize for the rant I’m so happy u sent me the rant bcus now I feel like I’m not crazy 😭😭. I didn’t actually read that one reply bcus the weird font changes gave me a migraine, but I skimmed enough to know what their thesis was 💀.

the terf shit is genuinely insane. I think a lot of this interpretation comes down to cis women with internalized sexism and transphobia (and racism cough cough) choosing to interpret Louis and lestats relationship in a way that aligns with their heteronormative narrow minded view of relationships (especially abusive ones) bcus they r unable to interpret a story about a gay black man being domestically abused by a flamboyant white man in a way that doesn’t revolve around the oppression of cis women bcus they believe that cis women are the central and only victims of oppression and domestic violence.

even tho it is explicitly shown to us that Lestat is able to abuse louis bcus louis is socially oppressed as a black man and lestat has societal power over him, ppl feel the need to put this “he’s also a metaphor for women” angle on it bcus they don’t want to confront the reality that men, especially men who are oppressed bcus of race or queerness or disability or any number of things, can be abused by their partners, and often are. I’ve noticed a lot of cis women have a problem with acknowledging that men can and do experience oppression that is “for women”. Domestic violence is often leveraged against women, but men are also victimized by it too, and stories about men who r abused deserve to be told without being “secretly about women”. This is especially weird since Louis is a black man, and I think a lot of this interpretation is happening bcus a lot of ppl subconsciously believe that black men can’t be victims of abuse or violence without being somehow women. Which is fucked up, obviously. It also undermines the actual story being told about a black man trying to navigate abuse and power structures by suggesting it’s actually about misogyny, bcus the implication is that misogyny is more important or legitimate then a black man’s experience and therefore he is just a mouth piece for a “real issue”

this is also why I think ppl argue lestat can’t be feminine bcus he abused Louis. They think that a feminine person can’t be an abuser, so they think that when I say lestat is feminine, im actually invaliding that he’s an abuser and suggesting he’s actually not abusive (bcus he’s fem). Believe it or not, u can be feminine and flamboyant or be a woman and at the same time be domestically violent against ur partner. Lestat’s feminine self expression and behavior is completely irrelevant to him being abusive, and he can be abusive and leverage his privilege over Louis while still being a feminine person. I think cis women have a problem with this bcus they are frightened to admit that they are capable of being instigators of violence despite being women/feminine . So friendly reminder, femininity is not the same as being morally good or pure, and femininity and victimhood are not the same. Trying to paint lestat as this embodiment of masculine and patriarchal ideals when he is very much a feminine queer man just bcus u insist that abuse has to fit into ur narrow minded view of what an abuser and a victim looks like is well, ignorant.

so Ppl who r socially oppressed are often victimized, and women are often victimized bcus they are socially oppressed, but Louis is socially oppressed and and that does not make him a women. Got it? 💀

It’s also important to acknowledge that Louis is a pimp who uses the victimization of women to gain social status and money for himself. Equating his suffering with the suffering of women is just not accurate when the show explicitly demonstrates to us that Louis is able to use the victimization of women to his advantage. Louis still operates within the patriarchy as a man, and him being abused by another man doesn’t make him less of a man, doesn’t make him akin to a woman thematically, and doesn’t mean he experiences misogyny the way women do in the narrative

(also, just a disclaimer, I’m not talking about ppl who headcanon Louis as trans or gnc or feminine, that is all awesome and a great way to express urself and how u relate to him. What I’m talking about is ppl who say that iwtv is thematically about domestic abuse against women bcus Louis is presented as the woman in the relationship since he’s abused by lestat )

[velvetvexations]

Honestly I'm willing to buy "trans women get more call-out posts written about them" because like. Transmisogyny is a thing. Trans women can be unfairly targeted in queer spaces. But the solution isn't "we should become exceptionalist and act like trans women are superior to everyone" it should be "call-out culture is bullshit and we really need to stop doing that shit"

Like, even around Rita's ban, which gave transradfem shit a platform, there were people calling out others left and right for being "transmisogynists" because they didn't like things they had said in the past. Which is just like. Wow you people did not get the point whatsofuckingever.

TLDR the normalization and ease of targeted harassment on online platforms is the issue, not whatever the fuck transradfems think it is

If trans women were targeted more in queerspaces it'd indicate a problem with transmisogyny, but I don't think that's actually the case at all and the assumption that trans men and especially non-binary people are basically cis people around trans women and never themselves suffer anything in queer spaces drives me up the wall.

That doesn't mean that trans women don't suffer transmisogyny in queer spaces! But the idea that trans women are uniquely hated above all others by all others is insane. Even if it WERE hierarchal like that, it would be insane even if you were to say that, for instance, Black people should be constantly scared of white friends waiting for the first opportunity to turn. It's so fucked up! And I hate it! And I hate everyone spreading that shit!

[ichabodsam]

intro

BEAU MIRCHOFF, HOMOSEXUAL, CIS MALE & HE/HIM — well met ! as blood demands SAMAEL ICHABOD CARROLL has answered the call ! they have been chosen and are now claimed as the DIONYSUS. while they have been alive for 30 years, the adventure has just begun. they must now train hard in the ways of the WIZARD. while their SMARTS, COMPASSION & BOLDNESS can be an asset to the god’s cause, their ALOOFNESS, TEMPESTOUSNESS & IMPULSIVENESS could create some tension. only the fates will know in the end, but now their thread has been woven into the tapestry of myths and legends !

❝ dear boy, you're all duct tape and safety pins inside; how are you alive? ❞

samael ichabod carroll (march 21, 1994 - )

would-be savior preacher, faithless believer, nasty little habit of driving people insane--including himself.

parents: john carroll, charity carroll / dionysus

siblings: grace anne carroll

sexuality: unrepentant homosexual

exorcism attempts: five

class: enchantment wizard

parallels: josh washington, sam winchester, carrie, quentin coldwater, boy erased

❝ i learned the voices died with me ❞

bio

His father used to say, proudly, boastful, loudly, that Samael was a gift of god. In all his greatness and all his rage, to bless the congregation, and the very lives of those faithful. The more skeptic ones could whisper, but in a small town in the middle of nowhere like theirs, the pastor's words had power and Samael grew surrounded by expectations he never asked for. It wasn't hard, if he was being honest, at least it wasn't hard to sway and move and sing praises to the lord while people weeped and trembled before him, overtaken by emotion, or God's presence. His father's hand on his shoulder as the congregation grew. The visions, as his father would call it, were godsent. They didn't feel that way though, the sound of blood dripping into marble floors, the screeching of monsters hunting for sport, the voices that chased him until he broke into his father's liquor cabinet to shut them down. He couldn't know if it was that or being found with the tailor's boy but he was sent away discreetly months after. Grey places with grey walls and grey people did nothing to chase away the visions of his father, not even when they pumped him full of pills. Sure, he couldn't do much, but he was all too aware of the chaos around him. He just couldn't tell if it was real or not. In the end, the place was shutdown, or his father took him home? There was a fire, he was sure. And screams. But maybe that was from a vision as well. He was no longer allowed in church, too unstable his father said. Too dirty. And everyone that tried exorcising him walked away shaking and weeping, but not in religious joy anymore. His father no longer saw him as godly. Eventually Samael found his new flock, amidst parties and concerts, sweaty bodies and out of body experiences, getting lost in hazy crowds pulsing with life and madness; where people flocked to him over hours that stretched into days and nights without him noticing. Not even then could he quiet the voices, the whispers, the visions or delirium that chased him, anything but god-given. Samael didn't talk much to god those days, but if he did, his message would be short and simple, so unlike the sermons he'd learned. "I'm just so fucking tired."

[spaceytoxinz]

TODD INGRAM HCS THAT NOBODY ASKED FOR

Im returning to my roots, this is about comic todd btw cause hes a dick and i hate hjm [hes my second favorite ex next to gideon]

He’s still easily flustered ofc, though not really in the sense where he gets bashful and coy like the anime conveys, he just gets frustrated about it. He will either deny the situation at hand or straight up tell someone to shut up when they point it out. Usually happens when he’s conflicted with his own thoughts regarding his sexuality or when proven wrong about smth

This is an old hc i had based on seeing this one image like early last year and immediately thinking he was zesty:

Hes definitely in denial about his sexuality. absolutely bisexual [duh] but he has internalized homophobia and focuses more on “potentially coming off as gay” than realizing he can be bisexual. Especially since he kept putting up this whole “fuck you im a rockstar” type of act. Seems very macho. Almost forced at times even if most of it comes from a place of genuine arrogance. [Angel lore implied lmfao oops]

His awakening was probably from joking around with his guy friends about gay shit [the straighter they are the gayer they act, i thought people were joking around about it] and one day they did something a little more physical as opposed to just saying gay shit [realistically they probably whispered in his ear from behind or smth] and from that day forward he’s had to convince himself that occasionally everyone thinks about getting physical with someone of the same sex but it “doesn’t mean anything”

basic but he dyes his hair blonde booooo obvious hc

surprisingly a decent cook. Originally he would make the typical cis”het” man meal [rubber tires with fried rat or smth idk] but because hes vegan he practically had to teach himself how to make food that wasn’t bland. Dont get me wrong, vegetables on their own can taste good but i feel like if anyone had to eat nothing but steamed vegetables with nothing else for a long ass time, it would drive them insane at some point. [plus envy probably told him to get his shit together and cook a decent meal for once]

Hes not ripped to me, hes like slightly pudgy. idc if its canon that he has abs or whatever. Hes still muscular ofc, but like its not super obvious unless he flexes. I guess like a sleeper build but everytime i search it up, it mostly shows skinny sleeper builds. Maybe ill draw it one day. just look at his arms in that image above.

out of all the evil exes he truly believes that hes the absolute MOST important one. Like everyone else does too but his level of arrogance is up there with Gideon’s. Unlike Gideon though he probably never shuts up about it, ESPECIALLY to Lucas. Its mostly because he punched the fucking moon. He doesn’t even like Ramona anymore. He’s just annoying

Nobody in the League fucking likes him. He probably gives Matthew and Roxy weird looks. Gideon straight up doesn’t care for them. The twins can tolerate Todd but talk shit about how annoyingly arrogant he is behind his back. And Lucas?? MF GOT PLAYED BY THIS ASSHOLE. Todd originally didn’t bother much with lucas and would sometimes tease him about their whole high school ordeal but when Lucas pointed out his faults, Todd just got defensive. So now he hates Lucas for nearly no reason when Lucas has more of a reason to not like Todd.

Hes still thought about doing it with Lucas at least once during their bickering lmao

Hes also tall as shit. Tallest in the league at about 6’. This is based on the video game sprites though so idk if it counts as comic Todd. But him and Lucas are not the same height.

alr im tired it’s almost 2 in the morning. I just make it sound like hes pissed al the time

[our-lesbian-experience]

Everyone says they love people with weird genders until those people with weird genders identify as lesbian.

And it seems like lesbian is the only term that gets this kind of reaction, where if you don’t fit exactly into the (cis-centric, white-centric) ideal, you’re a danger to “actual” lesbians. People of all genders identify as a gay, but lesbian is guarded by layers of discourse to keep out anyone who is determined not to belong. And even “inclusive phrases” (like saying “non-men loving non-men” instead of “women loving women”) still force everyone into a specific box. The same people parroting that phrase can’t even handle a cis lesbian using he/him, and my transmasculine non-binary ass is supposed to feel safe in their lesbian community?

Can’t wait for the day people say they love butches and mean it. We aren’t a hypothetical or a joke. We’re here and deserve to take up space.

yeah it sucks. i haven't had any firsthand experience with it but it is absolutely real and ridiculous. and the fact that this kind of thing happens specifically with the lesbian label is so clearly TERF influenced and it just drives me insane. fuck exclusionists and fuck TERFS

[emoflutterguy]

jesus fucking christ growing up and finding out the people who were shitty to u are massive hypocrites is . insane

TRIGGER WARNING FOR LIKE ABUSIVE FRIENDSHIP??? this is a little bit of a ventpost about how my shitty best friend in freshman year forced his transmedicalist idea of masculinity onto me only to grow up a little bit and start dating a cis guy and fall into the trap that most of us trans guys also fall into with cis guys of “oh hes cis so i obviously need to be Girly now”

thats ur tl;dr, read on if ure interested in the juicy details below the cut

so when i was in freshman year i met a kid who was supposedly a year older than me (he wasnt) but he was also a freshman because he got held back a year (he didn’t) (he was a filthy liar)

anyways he just so happens to be a trans guy and thats not where my problem lies with this guy . i wish it was that simple .

now im also a trans guy, and i had just come out at that point when we had met, like im talking i had just freshly come out as a trans man a month before we had met. i had no idea what i was doing or how to act or dress or how to be masculine, and he was like oh let me coach u on how to be a trans man The Right Way

and his “coaching” was terrible advice that literally any trans man whos been trans for more than 5 seconds would tell u is terrible advice;

he told me to eat, sleep and shit in my binder, he told me to abandon all girly clothing and only wear HIS clothes because HIS clothes were cool and masculine and would make me pass better (they didn’t), he told me not to wear makeup unless he was the one who did it, he shamed me for not passing well enough (i was 15 and had a baby face, as well as having big ass man biddies and also being chubby) and he gave me the worlds worst first masculine haircut and dyed it an eye bleeding orange in his kitchen. he forced me to listen to his music only because my music taste was supposedly terrible and he was the one who could drive so he got to choose the playlist (spoiler alert he wasnt legally supposed to be driving without an adult over the age of 25 but that was unbeknownst to me)

basically he told me that fundamentally, i was wrong because i wasn’t him

and any ounce of femininity i dared to show and be comfortable with was also fundamentally wrong

one time while we were all hanging out at my house (him, me, my mom and her boyfriend at the time) and i was talking about how bad i wanted to get on testosterone because i just wanted to feel like a normal teenage boy.

.and get this.

he told me i was “too girly” and “not manly enough” and i “didn’t pass well enough” to go on testosterone

and he told me he thought i was faking being trans for attention and he didnt think i was actually trans because i “wasnt trying hard enough” like he was

i promise this is relevant later im not just saying this to vent

he was also a horrendously shitty person to me and everyone else at the time, and im not saying this because im still salty, no bitch i was 15 he was 15 we were both kids kids are gonna be weird and mean sometimes, but “kids being kids” is not supposed to leave u with trauma that u may never heal from . and he did that to me . but thats irrelevant

anyways, now onto the part thats kind of funny in a fucked up way

so me and his ex boyfriend are best friends now because we both survived the fucked up shit he put us both through, at the same time might i add, and we often talk about how our respective relationships with him still affect us to this day

and today we were talking about going to a concert for a band we both really like that was introduced to us by our mutual enemy, the guy this post is about

and naturally the conversation turned to what hes up to now because my bestie likes to sometimes look at his social media out of curiosity and he told me

that evil bad guy mc bad

is now in a relationship with a cis biker guy

and dresses in crop tops and mini skirts and thigh highs and wears wigs and makeup now

and good for him if he genuinely just enjoys dressing like that now, if thats all it is then im glad hes finally had some character development

but i just have a feeling thats not what this is, that hes doing this solely for the validation of his fuck ass boyfriend

and the thing is, i would feel bad if it was literally Anyone Else going through that, but he did the same thing to me, to his ex who is now my bestie, to my other friends who used to be friends with him, to anyone who’s ever known him honestly.

and i dont wish him ill anymore. i really dont, i could not care less, and this post will probably be the last time i ever think about him because i really could not care about him less at this point, but its insane to me that he used to be so like firm in his opinion that men who were feminine werent real men, and he actively enjoyed making me feel like shit for being too feminine, and now he’s doing the same thing he used to make fun of me for.

maybe im just salty because i never got a real apology from him, but at this point i dont even want an apology from him because i know that it would be more akin to colleen ballinger’s “toxic gossip train” video than a real apology

well i think ive yapped on about this enough if u read all the way here thanks lol

[davyjoneslockr]

3, 7, and 12, mista and fugo :3

TONY UNSHADOWBANNED PARTY I know this was from a month ago but I'm gonna answer it anyhow lmfao

(For this ask game)

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

For Mista, the Trish cleavage scene. You know the one. I don't think I have to explain this much. Boy Why Did You Do That. The only good thing to come out of that scene was jaunty jigglesacks + overeager horndog insane psychic damage combo of lines in the dub.

I could take this a lot of ways for Fugo tbh. Because there's a lot of things that drive me insane about him as a person, but looking at him as a character, I LOVE that he's rash and hurts his friends and his defining character moment is him making a selfish, cowardly decision. I guess I'd say his misogyny in Purple Haze Feedback? I'm admittedly a believer that, yes, he would fucking say that, but it sucks that he would. At least he gets better by the end lol. Fugo voice I'm sorry women Sheila E is me

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I love that Mista has been designated Beautiful Brown-Eyed Bisexual Man by literally the entire fandom. Bi Mista brings us all together. And I do like the idea that his queerness is something he discovered much more slowly, and as a direct result of the gang. Something about that really ties in with the idea of the Bucci Gang as less of a realistic gang, more akin to a drag house or similar queer pseudo-family. Credit to that concept to Fox figcookie01 btw this is one of my favorite Vento Aureo analyses ever and it really informs how I conceptualize the Bucci Gang. Anyhow.

I also really like when people actually take care to explore his character and make him a very distinct, smarter-than-he-looks, older brother-type figure. It's really interesting when people explore his spirituality, too, whatever religion that may be, because that's a pretty important part of him. AND also OCD Mista truthers who know when to treat his superstitions and compulsions with some weight I love you forever. I think he's a character that gets watered down in fanworks a lot, but when his characterization's good, it's really good. There's plenty of artists and writers that have really blown me away with their Mista (and I say this as someone who's picky about characterization lol)

With Fugo, first of all. The PHF scars. Another thing that Mandela Effected the PHF fandom, but it's so so important to me. I love you physical, tangible, blatantly visible proof that Fugo has grown as a person since the day he abandoned the gang. Awesome. I also like that people mix and match his manga/anime colors, and every artist kinda draws him in a different way.

My favorite thing is probably the Fugo-Abbacchio stepkid and stepparent/siblings/Big Goth and Baby Emo Who Secretly Looks Up To Them dynamic. It’s awesome when it’s cartoonishly antagonistic and it’s awesome when it’s actually very sweet and heartfelt. Out of all the Bucci Gang dynamic interpretations the fandom’s produced, theirs is one of my favorites <3

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

SO MANY FOR BOTH OF THEM LOL. But I’ll try to list some I don’t talk about as much.

Besides The Carpenters, Mista’s a big fan of folk, acoustic singer-songwriter pop, and soft classic R&B/gospel. Artists with really strong voices tend to catch his attention. The Mamas and the Papas, Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye, Simon and Garfunkel, The Seekers, and Gordon Lightfoot are some of his favorites. He’s also just a big sucker for love songs in general, and the hopeless romantic in him loves old girl groups like The Ronettes and The Shirelles. He’s also very much Schrödinger’s Guy to me. Cis? Trans? Who knows. Depends on what the situation calls for (though more often trans to me as of late). He’s just Some Dude.

Fugo’s a surprisingly good singer, but he’ll rarely do it if he knows other people are listening. A lot of times, he’ll sing in the shower, or when he’s alone in the car. As he gets older, he gets less self-conscious about it, and he’ll sing around the house when he’s with Giorno, or do duets with Mista for fun. There are also very much timelines in the Vento Aureo Multiverse in my brain where Fugo’s transfem. This also tends to coincide with transfem Abbacchio timelines, so there’s another layer added to Fugo looking up to Abbacchio, and I think Giorno (always transmasc to me) is really instrumental in helping her work through things and take pride in her transness. Maybe a little bit of a self-indulgent fluffy comfort hc that helps me work though my own genderisms lol

[imanopossum]

so. i read the fic in question. (correction: as much as i could stomach without vomiting) very informative. a lot to unpack here. with the advising of my council to do so, let’s get into it shall we?

• i don’t even want to get into the line “wether he wanted/liked it or not” used twice. moving on.

• calling him “papa” during sex. no words, flabbergasted. daddy is bad enough. why are you sexualizing the name for a father or grandfather that specifically, the name that in context brenner forced his captives to call him as some twisted fabrication of love and care to keep them subordinate and controlled.

• this one is very interesting to me. henry being trans. on the surface, not an issue. in fact, it’s a potentially clever way to explore the concepts of “not fitting in” or “being different”. yet, this smut fic is the only instance (that i am aware of!) in which he is trans. before i continue, disclaimer: of course a gay trans man and a cis man is still a gay relationship, or even better leave it to how those people want to identify their relationship, but since you fantasize about henry being gay so hardcore to the point you believe it is objective fact and attack anyone who believes otherwise, or god forbid, smite me down to hell, it’s unthinkable…dares to ship him with his canonical love interest, why is it that the relationship ends up being physically heterosexual? to me, it looks like him being trans is purely for sexual purposes and in no way relates to the story or offers any meaningful context. the question is why is he trans? is it an analogy for not fitting in that contributes to how he has grown as a person and is intrinsic to his character or is it to fulfill some kind of breeding kink and “give brenner some tboypussy”?

• brenner using his psychology to pick apart henry on their date, immediately pouncing on mommy issues, insecurities, and viewing the relationship as a psychological experiment he can fuck

•how henry is consistently referred to as “boy”. in the fic he is very naive, innocent, flustered, traits that brenner fawns over. multiple characters are under the impression that they are father and son.

overall, the whole thing gives me a major ick. many issues. more of which i didn’t have the energy to put into this post.

i am grateful to have been able to talk with the cast for upwards of an hour after the play, and to get their two cents straight from the source. i talked with louis and patrick about things of this very nature, and we all were on the same page about how brenner thinks of him as an asset, and needs to manipulate him with “love” to keep him under control rather than brute force, and how henry is so starved for affection of any kind he falls for it. brenner’s love is out of power hungriness and greed and henry’s is out of desperation. but it’s extremely toxic and it boils over dangerously when they butt heads because they despise eachother. none of the show would have even happened if brenner wasn’t so obsessed with henry and his treatment of him didn’t drive henry to insanity. so how is pairing them together in a sexual sense okay? the question is why did you choose them two, of all the characters in the world you can ship, when you are well aware of their dynamic in canon? just some food for thought.

[lastoneout]

I mean sometimes it really does drive me insane that for ages bi and pan and omni and polysexual people have been kinda pitted against each other and forced into our own little camps even though we have EVERYTHING in common and when we finally came up with a blanket term for what we are (multisexual) and the specific bigotry we face (monosexism) from people who aren't us (monosexuals) suddenly ALL of those words became bad and evil and there were 5000000 think pieces from other queer people about how horrible it was to lump them in with their oppressors(as if that's not exactly how cis works) and how everyone who uses them is a horrible awful person who hates gay people and they basically won and now bi+/multisexual people are still forced into our little boxes and pitted against each other all the time and called homophobes by people who hate us just for trying to find unity and common words to explain what we're going through, I mean like, honestly, what the FUCK.

[electricpurrs]

also been driving me crazy how much i keep seeing people posting about how "man-hating ideology" and "misandry" and "hate men/kill all men" are "signs of terf ideology" and keep talking about it as if its the only and biggest problem with terfs like oh my god no!!! the problem with terfs is not that they hate men, its that they hate trans people. and like %99 of the time they talk about hating men theyre talking about hating trans women because they see trans women as men. why cant you understand that. lots of terfs are straight women. lots of terfs have boyfriends and husbands and sons and they dont hate them because theyre cis men. lots of terfs ally themselves with right-wing transphobic men because they share the same goal: transphobia.

just like terfs arent actually feminists since theyre, again, so willing to ally themselves with extremely misogynistic right wing men, and many straight terfs just go into full tradwife route, they arent actually man-hating theyre just transphobic and transmisogynistic. you cant take what they say at face value because nothing that they say is true. ive seen some online terfs go into actual bizarre nonsense man-hating shit thats really weird but you need to understand that all comes first and foremost from transphobia and all man-hating comes first and foremost from transmisogyny and you CANT just talk about terf shit without mentioning transmisogyny even once!! for fucks sake thats all that terfism IS about, stop pretendig the issue is just "bigotry against men" im going insane

[domesticated-whores]

list of reasons why i kin angel dust

absolutely nobody asked or cares, and it absolutely goes into headcanon & projecting territory, but it's my void and i can scream into it how i please, so--

also, tiny note, i am loose and casual with kinning. i'm just saying heavily relate to the point that i can easily see myself parallel that character.

gay femboy supremacy 💅💅

nice tits (his are fluff, i'm transmasc and am too fem to care to go into debt over physical transition... either way, we got soft titties)

wearing pleasers ✨��exclusively✨️ (i also wear demonias, but they're owned by pleasers)

earlier iterations of him were more genderfluid but he's now canonly a cis man, i use to think i was more genderfluid due to being super fem (presenting) sometimes and being just meh about my body but am now confident that i'm just a really genderqueer trans dude.

doesn't overly mind fem language, *sometimes* intentionally uses it. refers to self decently androgynously (alternating between "fem" and "masc" shit)

pet mama 💕

my cats are my babies, i'd die and kill for them, genuinely one of the only lights in my life

animal lover in general, honestly!! babes, they're so fucking cute!!

i also prefer fucking ugly/weird animals like farm animals, trash animals (possums, raccoons, etc), some reptiles, and spiders

spiders are my very favorite creatures, so yeah i fw the spider character

overworked at a shitty job that there's no real way out of

like, i didn't sell my soul ig but i live in a small area and don't drive, and my cats need food and a roof over their little baby noggins, so mama needs a job no matter the cost

also, TOXIC fucking work environment. not comparable to workplace abuse, but FUCK--

and i ✨️ain't doing that shit sober✨️ bbgirl, i DRINK because of that place.

((that's a half-truth, i don't go TO work drunk because i am not subtle, but the instant i'm out and have any money--))

i also work A LOT, honestly. icky, nasty, 'sgusting.

✨️inferiority complex and heavy masking✨️

feet are weird, i especially hate my own

don't touch my feet, don't look at my feet, if anyone's around imma be in socks or smth, feet are a hard no for me

let's 👏 talk 👏 kink 👏

into bdsm and generally kinky shit

✨️ SUPER sex positive ✨️

growing collection of ✨️toys✨️ that i'm becoming increasingly proud of

it's a part of life, so i really don't see any taboo in fucking??

willing to try almost ANYTHING if i stand to gain from it or just to see if i'm into it

✨️ switch ✨️

PRAISE ME

... or, alternatively DEGRADE ME

on the regular, i just want to feel safe and loved and lowkey spoiled--

but i also fuck HARD with the spicy stuff

honestly, hardcore things are more professional than intimate

((i don't do sw, but i am into kink in a very nerdy, special interest, academic type of way... fuck me so i can write an essay about the dynamics at play, daddy~!))

on that note,, ✨️ trauma ✨️

specifically, sa :)

sa that really changes how you see and use sex, and how you outwardly PRETEND to see and use sex

being manipulated by someone you cared about in some way

((luckily, mine was short-lived... only the aftermath was long-lasting))

there's also family trauma :)

the idea of going no contact--

i kin people that are no/low contact because FUCK~ it's a lovely concept. i personally can't for... reasons... but if i could

will make the cheap-shot sex joke

i vape only the fruitiest bullshit flavors and, like, rip angel you would have loved this straw-blueberry vape with this funky abstract art on it bby

that's just, like, off the top of my head. idk, idk. he's literally me. not on everything, but he's the character i've related to the hardest in a HOT SECOND.

also, love the fact that all of this is true but also valentino is my fucking all time favorite character and my pfp. like, i look at angel and am hit with most deep and profound sense of "this is a character a that i relate to and see myself in to an insane degree" and then i turn around and see his fucking abuser and, with my FULL fucking chest go "scrumbly wittle bpd princess man 💕, i wuvs him 💕, i couldn't fix him but i could break him and mold him into my little disaster housewife 💕" like a fucking insane person. it's fine, it's fine, their literally cartoons!! i'm delulu about drawings!! it's okay!!