#circus noir novel

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/27/2024

this is the longest ive ever been unemployed and media is only doing so much to beat back the horrors. so let’s talk about the media instead of the horrors

listening

Come Up For Air by We The Commas, off i think one of the autogenerated spotify indie mixes?

sort of a rollicking modern little surf rock thing, they describe themselves as "surf and alternate rhythm and blue" which is pretty bang on imo. they're all brothers (their last name genuinely is Comma, which i salute as a fellow weird last name haver), and cite john mayer (i don't really hear it) and the beach boys (yes i hear this very much) as some of their influences. a song i had on loop for an entire forty minute drive and did not get tired of. spotify

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reading

three books that MUST go back to the library tomorrow bc their autorenew is up and i was emotionally unable to get a library card without tooling around and getting a stack of books a month ago.

thank you philip.

i really only liked the Carmilla adaptation by Amy Chu, bc it really gets at what i didn't realize was the heart of the original 1872 lesbian vampire novella: a toxic gay housing situation you have fallen into and can't get out of bc your area is so so so expensive and housing is so so so tenuous. i have read the original but not in a while, this is an excellent modern adaptation centering around a nyc social worker in the late seventies that presupposes no knowledge and intertwines the original novella in the form of a stolen rare book. (nonconsecutive pages)

i don't have much to say about the DC young adult comic about the circus career of one of the Robins (Dick Grayson). i didn't love the loose artstyle and am not in its intended age range plus it had a bit too much therapyspeak, but it did have a clever use of a very limited color palette.

let's yank the amazon description for the detective novel, which i grabbed bc it vaguely pinged something in my brain about one of the fallout 4 sidequests and i've picked books up for worse reasons (SPOILERS):

Jacob Rigolet, a soon-to-be former assistant to a wealthy art collector, looks up from his seat at an auction—his mother, former head librarian at the Halifax Free Library, is walking almost casually up the aisle. Before a stunned audience, she flings an open jar of black ink at master photographer Robert Capa’s “Death on a Leipzig Balcony.” Jacob’s police detective fiancée, Martha Crauchet, is assigned to the ensuing interrogation. 

i simply fucking hated this authorial style and tone and ditched it two chapters in. i don’t currently have the patience for reading about a clinically insane mother and hate crimes against Jewish people. despite the fairly dark premise, the first two chapters veer into cozy mystery with very short sentences, which do not a noir make. now, it does not advertise itself as noir or neo-noir, but as an homage to noir. it is for me unbearably smug. in my most unkind heart of hearts i want to say it's like if wes anderson tried to make a noir. this is a book that wants you to know it has read other noirs. yes thank you ive read several others, that’s why im reading this one, stop reminding me of better books i could be reading.

there's some weird descriptions of womens' bodies in here. chandler (my beloved) is certainly guilty of this as well, but he lavishes a sort of equal opportunity eye on the men in his mysteries. cf the infamous daniel lavery description.

when i read a chandler description of someone’s physical appearance there’s a fruity bisexual aftertaste in my mouth. Howard Norman, below, saying a woman takes great care of herself puts my hackles up. i understand the difference between an author and a character believing something and i don’t want to read a book where either the author or the character have this sort of pitying condescension towards a woman’s body. im feeling extremely terrible about my own body right now due to the various maladies, and another sort of breaking point for me is when an author repeatedly describes "naked breasts" (exact wording) pressing against someone's torso. it feels so juvenile. that's the sexiest thing you can possibly think of??? that's the sexiest way you can think of to describe an early mornign moment of intimacy???? augh i read the NYT review and it gets worse.

shut the FUCK up. i left my apartment at 1130 PM to go put this book in my CAR. i don't want it in my HOUSE.

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watching

Bullitt (1968, dir. Yates, free on Tubi). the baddie in this is Robert Vaughn (who i know from cowboys), a guy i fucking love to see. i can take or leave Steve McQueen but he does such a killer job parallel parking in this movie and i wish all driving movies made their leads parallel park. shockingly realistic hospital, morgue, and police work scenes, apparently was one of the big films to popularize blood squibs. also love to see a haunted man splash water on his face and stare into a mirror.

if you asked me how long the famous car chase was i would have said like 2:30? substantial but snappy. no!!! eleven minutes!! (video a bit trimmed). also a rare movie that makes a foot chase through an airport as exciting as that eleven minute car chase!!!

the mob dodging plot was a little hard to follow, but i was operating on like four hours of sleep and a rum and coke. this has got to be a tremendous movie to watch when you’re home and sick on the couch huddled under a blanket. i mean this as a compliment, as someone who watches Escape from New York whenever i feel very sick

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playing

really wanted to get to 69 shrines before writing this post and finally did it. all the little divine beasts walking along the loading screen are SO cute i've never gotten all four before

all the divine beasts are unlocked and the champions laid to rest! im feeling some type of way emotionally speaking about all of them telling link IMMEDIATELY that it wasn't his or zelda's fault they died

rudania has the worst boarding mission (in order of ones i most enjoyed it's camel [SO fast and SO fun], bird [lots of time to think and plan and aim], elephant [did not make me do a tedious stealth mission but i am bad at locking on to rapidly moving things behind me, much like in real life], and lizard. the lizard stealth mission is simply unpleasant). however, my brain really clicked with the puzzles in rudania: i had to consult a walkthrough once for an optional chest. in order of interior beast puzzle enjoyment for me it's lizard, bird, elephant, and camel. really got stuck for a long time on the waterwheels with the elephant before consulting a walkthrough.

the yiga clan stealth mission was not as hard as i thought it would be. i don't know why i put that off for two real life weeks but i will not learn my lesson and i will never improve. this boss battle was just silly.

the vah naboris interior puzzles were not fun. idk what it was about them or my brain that made me have such a bad time, but i spammed revali's gale and skipped a lot of chests bc i was not having fun. this is why god invented the walkthrough but sometimes. shit is just too fiddly.

i did succeed on the thunder ganon boss battle first try, but i came in with extra hearts from mipha's grace, used another mipha's grace in the fight, went through five fairies and seven hearty simmered fruits that were 5x durians (which gives you 20 extra hearts or some shit). fucking nightmare. i was stuck on one hit left on ganon for like five minutes bc he got stuck in the very fast flurry attack cycle. unpleasant. deeply grateful it only made me smack him with the magnesis pillar once bc that was also really fiddly with my poor reaction time + poor fine motor skills + previously mentioned ancient controller with some drift. in order of boss battle enjoyment i think it's lizard (made me think and kept me on my toes a little but i did have to look up how to break the shield), elephant (you can just kind of tank it), bird (same), and camel (extremely not fun).

this was WITH a fully upgraded gimp suit btw. that shit (ganon) just hits hard.

shrine shenanigans:

crowned beast very fun, i have one or two of kass' songs left and then i hope i get to see him back in rito village with his family??? a little nervous bc i went right to the jungle spring without hearing his song first so idk if that will. count??? or softlock me.

the MOUNDS of failed cooking attempts around this shrine on the grasslands side of the gerudo barrier mountains were SO funny.

unlocked all the spring shrines. what a fun mission. what a fun climb.

went to my FAVORITE shrine!!! going into what you think will be a normal cave and discovering it is DEEP with a BIG WHALE INSIDE is top three video game whale moments (the other two are diving with the whales in ABZU and meeting the last whale in the first dishonored).

other bits and bobs:

eggman rocks???

this quest was really cute and i wish there was a corresponding quest for the guy hanging around the broken heart pond, but it always makes me laugh whenever a dragon shows up in the background of a screenshot. a really great touching moment but watch out for the elemental orbs rapidly approaching us

also made me chortle. get it together barta.

i wish the helm was upgradable but i think making me kill a molduga in order to borrow it is a pretty fair trade actually.

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making

i originally had a really long thing here about litterbox trials and tribulations but i have decided to spare you all. you're welcome.

many balcony improvements, including putting up trellises and installing bird spikes to hopefully keep a very persistent orange tom off my balcony and away from my girls.

there are a goofy number of obstacles in the way of me making a proper planting diagram (sketchbooks buried deep in closet. flung the seeds in a box on a shelf i need to find my stepstool for. can't find pencil sharpener) so for the second week in a row that's not happening. however, sprouts.

baby italian lettuce blend

bush beans in the front and cucumbers + sweet peas in the back.

[deviiancetv]

Upcoming Indie Projects To Look Out For 🎥

2023 has been the year of indie animation going FULL SPEED. I’ve been hearing about some very intriguing and honestly amazing concepts for shows.

Here’s a list of some that I really like and I hope you all check them out and support them:

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Boxtown (Series)

Synopsis: Boxtown is an indie animated noir buddy comedy about a con man detective (played by Alex Hirsch, creator of Gravity Falls) who teams up with an innocent, true-crime-obsessed orphan with a hidden murderous side (played by Tara Strong, known as the voice of Twilight Sparkle & Timmy Turner).

Twitter || Instagram

Defenders of Alodia (Series)

Synopsis: Defenders of Alodia is an upcoming indie animated web-series that follows the adventures of 15-year-old Rebecca Winstead, who one day gets transported to the magic world of Alodia, where she must journey to return back to the real world.

Twitter || Instagram

Lumi & The Great Big Galaxy (Series)

Synopsis: Lumi and the Great Big Galaxy is an indie animated series about six aliens traveling the galaxy to help a young lost star return home.

Twitter

Pritty (Film)

Synopsis: Pritty is an indie animated short film that takes place in Savannah, GA. Jay sticks out for all the wrong reasons. He's dark-skinned, quiet and skinny; and likes to wear flowers in his hair. The opposite of his masculine and charismatic older brother, Jacob. Their differences peak at the community pool until Jay befriends a charming boy named Justin.

Twitter || YouTube

The Lovers (Film)

Synopsis: The Lovers is an animated indie thriller that follows Sara Lim Baylon, a reluctant seafood chef from Binondo, Manila. Sara faces the daunting pressure to live up to her late father's reputation and keep the business afloat. When the governor's inauguration dinner is planned at the restaurant, featuring a Siren as the centerpiece, Sara finds herself drawn into a dangerous affair with the mythical creature.

YouTube || Instagram

Far-Fetched (Series)

Synopsis: Far-Fetched is an indie animated series following a rock band of misfits called Sesamoid, an overly-anxious girl named Rue and her chaotic canine creature, try to survive the town of Veilport. Becoming tangled up in a world where science is at odds with monsters & the supernatural.

Twitter || YouTube

Among The Others (Series)

Synopsis: Among The Others is an epic science fantasy adventure, about a group of misfits that discover the reemergence of an ancient reality bending energy. This thrusts them into a bunch of larger than life threats, one of which is a ‘cool, suave undead hippie’ and his cult.

Twitter || YouTube

Please Stay Tuned (N/A)

Synopsis: Please Stay Tuned is an upcoming psychological horror about a sentient TV man from the toon town of [REDACTED] that wants to be watched.

Twitter || YouTube

The Not-So-Secret Academy (Series)

Synopsis: The Not-So-Secret Academy is an action comedy series in 8-bit/visual novel format. The series follows Bryan, a secret agent sent to an academy to learn how to be a proper secret agent.

Twitter || YouTube

Camp Cryptid (Series)

Synopsis: Camp Cryptid is an upcoming indie animated series created by Celeste McGee about a young Thunderbird attending an all cryptid summer camp run by Cthulhu.

Twitter || Instagram

Playground (N/A)

Synopsis: Playground is a horror project created by Rodrigo Sousa. Its a stunningly well animated trailer that captures the feeling of being lost in a bizarre playground, and your imagination takes over to make things even more scarier. I REALLY recommend supporting this if you like horror and abstract animation.

YouTube || Instagram

Belphegor’s Traveling Circus (Series)

Synopsis: Belphegor’s Traveling Circus is an adult comedy series featuring a demon who must travel out of Hell to the mortal realm to organize a space traversing circus to pay off a monumental debt to his devilish boss.

Twitter || YouTube

ScreenTime (Series)

Synopsis: Screentime is an indie animated show about three artists balancing life with trying to succeed in a social media focused world.

Twitter || YouTube

The Will of Monsters (Film)

Synopsis: The Will of Monsters is a a YA action fantasy film about two scarecrows, Scarecrow Pumpk and Cham, team up with a young witch named Pai, to survive the terrors of their world.

Twitter || YouTube

Everlend (Series)

Synopsis: Everlend is an indie animated series that takes place in the land of Everlend, following Lydia, an optimistic teenage girl, who meets a llamagon named Vel, and a bird-like creature named Ollie. Though Everlend isn't without its dangers, Lydia must face not only the unknown truths of within this world, but herself as well.

Twitter || Instagram

Hey. (Series)

Synopsis: Hey. is an upcoming adult animated sitcom created by YouTuber, ToonrificTariq. It’s a story of two people, Marcus and Shania, that really love each other while trying to learn how to love each other.

Twitter

The Carsons! (Series)

Synopsis: The Carsons! is an upcoming animated mockumentary sitcom, about a young black cartoonist named Steve Carson, trying to make it in LA with his new family. Which includes his wife, Katie, their baby, Nicole, and Buddy, a washed-up R&B singer now demoted to family dog

Twitter

Bit Wars (Series)

Synopsis: Bit Wars is an animated series inspired by video games about how experience is our greatest weapon!

Website || Twitter

Quartz Quest (Series)

Synopsis: Quartz Quest is an independent animated series following two best friends, Lyra and Snobelly, as they travel across the world in search of exciting adventures.

Twitter || YouTube

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Stay Tuned & be sure to follow ALL of these amazing upcoming creators for their amazing projects on the way. ⭐️

If you liked this post, don’t forget to follow me & leave a tip to support a small artist/content creator!! 🫶🏽

[maryvioletique7708]

Okay but random Fandoms in the form of random “unrelated” things I thought of.

Marvel/Spider-Man (TSSM, MCU, etc.) = “Home”/The Heart

Transformers (TFA, TFP, etc.) = The Arcade (Car/Race related)

Gotham Fox = Gothic/Noir Novel

Diary of a wimpy kid = Perspective (practically)

Baldi’s Basics + BBAU (ABiBAZ, BBEG, etc.) = (Family/Indie) Board Games

Uglydolls = Blurry memory of a Plush toy

Welcome Home ARG = Crayons, Paintings, anything colorful…

Rise of the Guardians = Reminiscent Memories (both tragic and lighthearted)

The Digital Circus = Toy Box

MBTI + Personality Typology = Scrapbooks and Journals

[tea-ddie]

BALLYHOO — BOOK ONE

I am beyond delighted to share my queer-noir graphic novel, Ballyhoo: Book One. Ballyhoo will be released on February 8th, 2024. You can now pre-order it on my website. Ballyhoo is the result of over two years of work and one year of inking like crazy. It is the first third of a story I am so excited to get into the world. It has queer bars, it has theater gays, and it even has a dramatic circus backstory. This 140~ish page volume is the first three chapters of the comic, all offset printed by yours truly. Summary and sample pages below the cut.

Summary:

While traveling to a new city to see the opening of her new play, The Bally Girl, writer Oretta Adams stumbles back into communication with two old friends. Marjorie Miller, previously an unruly and gay circus performer, has now settled into her role as a classic mid-century American housewife,  much to Oretta’s surprise. Evelyn Gold, on the other hand, has transformed her entertainment skills from the trio’s carnie days into a successful career in Portapolis’ lesbian bar scene.  Evelyn and Marjorie, once lovers, no longer have contact with each other. Oretta finds herself tiptoeing across the city, trying to keep Marjorie and Evelyn apart while hiding her own secrets about what really brought her to Portapolis in the first place. 

Everything is bound to come out, especially when opening night of The Bally Girl gets closer everyday. Good intentions, unfortunately, can only go so far.

Sample pages:

If you're interested in reading, please consider pre-ordering! It really helps a small, self-published artist like myself out. Because all books are handmade by myself, there are a limited number of available copies. Reblogs and sharing is also highly appreciated.

[k0nstanta]

THE DETECTIVE POINT AND CLICK???? there's something about kotya and shushu getting into sam and max like shenanigans that make brain go purrrr

Do you plan on making a vn with circus au? Or do you have other settings in mind for a novel?

help… i've wanted to make the point & click one be about noir au, in my mind it's kind of a grimdark detective game but with bits of comedy (just because the au is funny to me. despite being very morbid). my biggest inspiration for it gameplay wise is this specific genre of puzzle games that me and one of my friends call “girls pockets”, which is categorized by:

a) being a point & click adventure / detective / puzzle game;

b) the main character is a girl who is weird;

c) she offhandedly says things that make you go HUH?;

d) she puts increasingly bizarre and / or physically impossible things into her pockets. like actual rotten fish or a full on ladder or a boulder, all for the sake of the investigation (most important aspect).

if you manage to find it, i heavily recommend playing “chronicles of mystery: ritual of the scorpion” to know precisely what i'm talking about.

for the vn question, surprisingly, no! i do want to make something with circus au, but i'm not exactly sure what yet, so i've put it on the back burner for now. the romance vn i have in mind would be about birthday au, which might seem like a weird pick given how i basically never post about it on this blog, but trust me, i've cooked up a whole hallmark movie esque story for it. in my mind, the game would be from shurik's pov, and the story would be about him meeting and getting together with kotya, as well as midlife crises, intimacy, family, personal growth and all of that usual stuff.

i fantasize a lot about making games, but i'm also very determined to make them reality! it might take me a million years, but i do genuinely believe it's in my power to actually make them ^_^

[straydog733]

Watching Resolution: Nightmare Alley (1947)

2. A black and white film: Nightmare Alley (1947)

List Progress: 5/12

There are few settings as narratively rich as a carnival or circus. An author can tell a travel story, a con-artist story, a performer story, a runaway story, a mysterious past story, and much more, all with a veneer of both glitz and skeeze. The 1946 novel, Nightmare Alley by William Lindsay Gresham, used the setting to great avail, and it was adapted a year later into a noir film of the same name. The 1947 Nightmare Alley is an atmospheric, moody descent into depravity, and while it loses some of its way in the third act (not coincidentally at the same time that the story leaves the carnival), the result is still a potent piece of filmmaking (and arguably a more successful film than the recent 2021 adaptation).

Nightmare Alley follows Stanton Carlisle, a carnival worker who tries to con his way into glory, only to fly too close to the sun. He starts as a basic roustabout, but finds where his true talents lie when he gets involved with the carnival’s mentalism act. He hits the road with his girlfriend in tow to sell himself as a psychic, and it’s not too long before this evolves into some serious delusions of grandeur. He teams up with a scheming psychiatrist to try his biggest con yet, but his hubris and his disregard for those around him were always bound to catch up with him.

The movie is at its best when it is a close, tight character piece; Stan’s relationship with the carnival mentalists, a passionate woman named Zeena and her alcoholic husband Pete, brings a lot of nuance and detail to the first act, and the film is wise to introduce these relationships as already established. (The 2021 adaptation spends far, far too long getting to the meat of the story.) His rise to fame makes sense, but the biggest stumbling block for the film comes in Stan’s transition to “spook shows”, or convincing people that he can speak to their deceased loved ones. It becomes very unclear what his actual goals and methods are, and how much he and those around him believe in what he’s peddling, which makes it harder to determine where the con begins and ends.

Despite these issues with the third act, Nightmare Alley is a great bit of noir filmmaking, with great central performances and images that will stay with audiences for a while. And at the very least, it’s fun to see a lot of spooky carnival tropes when they were still fairly new.

Would I Recommend It: Yes.

[wildfey]

Best Books of 2023

You know, I was thinking about what 2023 was like for me, and realised it was a bit of a fallow year - I've mostly been self-improving, not engaging in mega-projects or grand expeditions (well... mostly. It is still me). But one thing I did really enjoy, was how much I got to read this year. After 4.5 years in academia, it was nice to be out and to actually read for fun.

So, have my list of best books of the year - 3 fiction, 3 non-fiction, 3 other (poetry and plays). Why 3? Cuz 3 is lucky, and 3x3 is even more lucky.

Note: This is books I have read in 2023, not books published in 2023. Also not including anything I've read before, so no Terry Pratchett, Octavia Butler or Tolkein, though I've reread my favorites from all three in 2023.

Fiction

(ID Images: The covers for Nights at the Circus, the Little Sleep, and the Left Hand of Darkness)

Nights at the Circus

Angela Carter

I knew very little about this book coming in – my sole knowledge was that it had won some awards and the blurb. The only works I’d previously read by Angela Carter were a few of her poems.

On the surface, Nights at the Circus is about two people – the winged aerialiste Sophie Fevvers, a circus performer with a colourful background (I listened to the audiobook, and was bewitched by the insane Cockney accent from the get-go - would really recommend Adjoa Andoh's reading), and Jack Walser, an American journalist who is both fascinated by her and desperate to reveal her as a fraud. In reality, there are a lot of characters in this book, and they’re all interesting enough to have a book of their own: Sophie’s revolutionary adoptive mother - a former sex worker with magic powers, the hyper-capitalist circus owner and his psychic pet pig, the singer and piano player who dance with tigers – there’s a lot going on in this book, the least of which is the plot, which just happens in the background of whatever the characters are doing at the time. It’s a really stunning example of magical realism, and leaves you wondering what will happen next – I spent a good chunk of the novel trying to parse out the rules and limits of this world, and Sophie in particular gains power from playing into her own narrative.

Dark in places, hilarious in others and mysterious throughout, this book was a really pleasant surprise and probably my favourite in fiction this year.

The Little Sleep

Paul Tremblay

I read this one while on a noir kick, and it really stood out as a book doing something unique and clever in the genre. Noir lives and dies on the strength of its protagonists, and a lot of newer books suffer from trying to mimic the classics – doing nothing particularly original but also not managing to live up to novels that have stood the test of time for a reason. As such, I am always so excited to find noir that takes the hard-boiled detective and puts a new spin on the character that lends depth to the trope – it’s why Walter Mosley’s ‘Easy Rawlins’ series is my favourite in noir, and it’s why I loved The Little Sleep by Paul Tremblay.

The Little Sleep doesn’t have the most memorable of mysteries, but all of this books charm lies in his protagonist – Mark Genevich is obnoxious, rude and deeply damaged as a person and I love it. After living through a terrible car accident that left him both traumatised and disabled, Mark has narcolepsy and struggles with hallucinations and staying awake – which is a tricky situation for a hard-boiled detective who is about to find himself in some serious peril (there are some incredibly tense moments at the end of this novel, and I was genuinely engrossed, which is actually quite rare for me in thrillers). Mark spends a lot of time just trying to figure out what is going on – he has some suspicious photos, but no idea where they came from or what he’s supposed to do with them. The result – a mystery to unravel from two ends, neither of which seem to make sense.

This was the author’s debut, and I know he’s written more, including some horror novels – if they’re as good as the little sleep I hope I’ll find time to get to them in the New Year.

Left Hand of Darkness

Ursula Le Guin

Can you believe I hadn’t read this before February this year? I was read Earthsea as a bedside story when I was a kid, I've loved pretty much every other book in the Hainish Cycle, but somehow managed to skip probably Le Guin’s best known book. No, I don’t know how it happened either.

With that being said: worth the wait.

Like much of Le Guin’s work, a lot of this book is anthropology (not a complaint! I love that about her writing). It’s the story of an envoy from earth sent to a planet named Gethan to try and persuade them to join an interplanetary union. Genly Ai, our very human, very masculine protagonist, is trying to parse a world that is entirely alien to him – especially in regards to its values and gender roles. I know a lot of focus on this book tends to be on its examination of gender – the inhabitants of Gethan are ambisexual and only develop sexual characteristics once a month. While I think that’s fascinating in its own right, I found myself way more interested in this book’s themes of loyalty, loneliness and honour, which I hadn’t heard people discuss before I read this. The development of the relationship between Genly and Estraven, a prominent politician on Gethan, it a highlight of the book for me in its exploration of Genly’s position as an outsider who gradually comes to understand the society he has found himself in through a connection with someone who he initially struggled to work with due to said cultural differences. What a neat little examination of the theme of growth and learning more about both the self and the other in tandem.

Also the end absolutely got me in the throat, ouch.

Non-Fiction

(ID Images: The covers for Flying Blind, Falling Upwards and Fiefs and Vassals)

Flying Blind: The 737 MAX Tragedy and the Fall of Boeing

Peter Robison

This is a book about being angry. Angry at unnecessary loss of life, and angry at the people and culture that allowed that loss to happen. And also capitalism. This is very much a book about capitalism.

You may or may not have followed the Boeing 737 Max 8 crashes that occurred about five years ago, killing hundreds of people and resulting in the planes being temporarily grounded. I did, and ever since have been reading various accounts about how these tragedies were allowed to happen (and pretty much every investigator agrees… these crashes were allowed to happen). Flying Blind is definitely the most comprehensive account I’ve encountered that doesn’t require an engineering degree – a story of dysfunctional leaders who allowed common sense to be overridden by their desire for marginal stock gains (stock gains that ended up being wiped away anyway). The book probably spends too much time on context and lauding early Boeing culture, but once the story of the actual development of the Max 8 got underway, I kept having to pause to digest what I was reading – that Boeing was essentially self-regulating it’s safety features (!?!), that whistle-blowers were repeatedly ignored, that Boeing dismissed and tried to blame pilots in developing nations for a flaw in the plane that they were fully aware existed before shipping – horror upon horror and a terrifying example of what happens when you put profit before human life.

I actually read this very shortly before flying on a 737 MAX with GOL - a Brazilian budget airline which was the first to start using the planes again after they were re-approved. My sisters told me very firmly that I wasn’t allowed to scare them with plane horror stories, and I did keep my mouth shut. Still – this book stuck with me, and I’ll happily talk about and recommend it now.

Falling Upwards: How We Took To the Air

Richard Holmes

If Flying Blind is a story about what happens when a formerly reliable industry breaks all the rules, Falling Upwards is a story about having no rules in the first place. This is a book about the early history of hot-air ballooning in all its guts and glories – balloons as a tool used in science, used in war, used in carnivals to get people to hand money over - like a lot of technology, the range of uses is wider than we think. This book packs a thousand stories and characters into a history where the balloons usually have to share the limelight with the bizarre people who were flying them. There’s not a lot else to say about it – if you hear ‘balloon stories’ and think that sounds fascinating, I can 100% promise that you will adore this book like I did. It has everything from crashes and conmen, to spy-balloons (spy-balloons!) and ill-fated arctic expeditions. Do you know that during the siege of Paris, balloons were used to carry messages? Actually, trying to use balloons to deliver mail is a repeated theme in this book. It rarely seems to work, due to the fact that by their very nature, hot-air balloons can’t be steered.

There’s a film adaptation that fictionalises this book, and you probably haven’t seen it – it’s called the Aeronauts and I was one of 6 people watching it in a 200 person IMAX theatre when it first came out. The IMAX saved it, because despite the film’s limp plot, there’s nothing about balloons that’s not cool to look at. However, at least from my perspective, they’re even cooler to think about. And if you want to think about balloons – well, Falling Upwards is a really good book for that.

Fiefs and Vassals: The Medieval Evidence Reinterpreted

Susan Reynolds

Probably my anti-recommendation from this list. This is a book that is written for a very particular group of people, and is the only academic work on this list. If you are not a medieval history nerd, beware.

If you are a medieval history nerd, you have to read this book. Look past the slightly awkward and meandering prose, look past the sheer amount of work it takes to get through it. This book is a revelation, and there’s a reason you’ll see historians recommending it just about everywhere.

There is a very particular popular view of the medieval period, one that stacks social classes into a pyramid and then calls it a day. This feudal trope recreates itself and filters down – into schools and fantasy novels, and the way people talk about history in general. Reynolds makes the argument: what if this is complete bunkum; and then spends 500 pages proving it. She re-examines sources, looks at how we define terms, and points out where we are projecting a narrative onto a past that is much more complicated than it might first appear. The result will make you question pretty much everything you know about medieval history, and then question your own questioning, and then make you think ‘hang on, I think I need to go and look at some primary sources on this’. And then you read on and realise that Reynolds already did that, and she’s going to explain to you exactly what she found. In excruciating detail. I love Fiefs and Vassals. I just wish it was 200 pages shorter. I've started rereading it anyway.

Other

(ID Images: The cover for Travel Light Travel Dark, the Painting 'Antigone on the side of Polynices' by Jean-Joseph Benjamin-Constant, and a photo of Rose Ausländer)

Travel Light Travel Dark

John Agard

Travel Light. Travel Dark.

Blood through the veins.

Sap through a leaf.

It's John Agard. What more to say? It's rare for me to read poetry books for a particular author, as I prefer themed anthologies, but this one was 100% worth it. John Agard's work is witty and tragic and thoughtful, blunt, bright and so so clever. When I read poetry I try to take notes of my favourites - usually 2 or 3 in a book. In this relatively short book I noted 12. Agard has this amazing talent of taking everyday language and recombining words into rhythms and shapes that seem both obvious and natural, but at the same time entirely unique and new - which is exactly how I like my poetry to be. This book starts with a long poem on colour in all its glories and nuance, and goes on with a fantastic colonial metaphor in cricket and Shakespeare, a beautiful wedding poem (and that’s coming from me, the death of all romance), some tales of the softer side of evil and my personal favourite, ‘The Hosanna of Small Mercies’, a poem about just recognising the tiny charms in life. Definitely the book from this list I would recommend the most.

Antigone

Sophocles

Firstly, I read this one from the Penguin little black classics imprint. I’m mentioning that specifically because I’m sure there are tons of translations of this work, and I’ve only read the one of them.

Antigone is the daughter of Oedipus. Her father is gone, her brothers have killed each other in battle. And she wants to bury her brother.

Antigone is under the control of her liege and her uncle, who are actually the same person: King Creon, who has decreed that Antigone’s brother, as a traitor, cannot be buried. Antigone defies him, and sets off a series of tragic events that just keep getting worse and worse. Three things stand out for me in this – Antigone’s strength as a character, her commitment to her beliefs, her willingness to stand up for them, even to the point where it harms her and everyone around her. Love that. Creon’s own commitment to his beliefs, and his sheer stubbornness and refusal to listen to anyone even when everyone but him can see that he's courting tragedy. Love that too. And the theme of divine punishment and piety in burial and family matters. Love that three. A magnificent tragedy about two people who are both desperate to die on a hill - Antigone who accepts the consequences of her actions (and indeed, dies on the hill), and Creon, who does not, and lives to regret it.

Gesamtwerk

Rose Ausländer

Mein Vaterland ist tot

sie haben es begraben

im Feuer

Ich lebe

in meinem Mutterland

Technically several books, not one, but let’s count it anyway. I’ve read so little in German this year – in part because I read so many very dense German political essays finishing my dissertation that I needed a break, in part because I don’t live in Germany or have access to German libraries anymore. With that being said, this is the year I finally got around to reading (a decent chunk of) the collected works of Rose Ausländer, which reminded me that actually German is a really beautiful language when you’re not listening to speeches from the FDP. 

Ausländer is a wonderful poet, and one I find is often deeply underrated, a marginal figure despite her talent for dark and beautiful metaphor. Her poems are generally short, the kind you can read in 30 seconds but digest for hours. I am still digesting this collection even now, and keep coming back to it. Ausländer writes about home, about belonging and identity, about fear and horror with all the nuance of a holocaust survivor who spoke four languages and lived in half a dozen countries. Then she will flip and describe how heaven grows under the grass while the thrush sings. Her work is a pure outpouring of human emotion – humanity at its best and worst, at its most beautiful and most ugly. I love it, and I hope to keep coming back to her work whenever I need to put joy or sorrow into words.

[unchataparis]

A Review of Exaltation

Croquembouches and hot chocolate. That is gorgeous, an afternoon tea to swoon over.

I love how genuinely oblivious Chat Noir is. He made a promise to himself not to bother Ladybug with his affections anymore, and he’s following through in the most extreme way possible. The idea of romance and Ladybug can’t even make a link in his brain anymore.

“So, did I pass the test?” Chat Noir will not be caught slipping ever again.

Oh, the purple ribbons are her hair.

This reminds me of a horror graphic novel I once read.

It was either something by Ito Junji or G’Day by Choi Yong Sung.

“Just because you couldn’t keep it a secret from Nino while you two were both superheroes, doesn’t mean Chat Noir and I are the same.” Hitting in the soft places, huh?

Tom’s moustache is individual hairs. In the earlier seasons, it was just one solid poly-block. Upgrade.

Alya and Marinette sure are spending a lot of time in their pyjamas together.

Yeah, her feelings for Chat Noir are forced and self-manufactured.

In this episode of ethical violations to Adrien’s right and identity:

Love how even background characters are wearing Alliance rings. The technology is taking over the city.

Also, who was this character? Never seen this character model before.

I’m not very invested in the Love Square dynamic, mostly because I’m not sure how it was a thing in the first place. They are the same people, different elements of their personalities shine in different costumes, but beneath the clothes, same people. But if I have to say it, Marichat is possibly my least favourite pairing. It’s a relationship based on lies, both party think they hold information over the other, which is a terrible foundation to based any romance off.

A lot of mature self-reflections happening this season.

Oh, that is gorgeous.

I love any scenes in Miraculous that involves the night. They’re always animated so well with that dreamy blue tint.

The amount of clownery, an entire circus could be birthed from this.

Oh, wow, it actually happened.

Back to smug monologues, are you.

But, tick tock, clock’s ticking.

You’ve trying to use Marinette Dupain-Cheng as a device in your plans for three years, they all failed. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Aw.

This poor girl.

The message of this episode seems to be that Marinette will find neither true love nor peace until Monarque is ancient history.

[vampire-himbos-of-santa-perdita]

The Hell Witch’s WIPs (2021)

Dear god, my last WIP list is woefully out of date. There have been some Significant Changes to quite a few of my novels over the past year I should probably rectify by now in my main listing...

In order of completion/priority:

Heaven’s Tiny Daggers: Finn Begby and her two best friends were there the night rockstar, Aster Maddox went up in flames on stage. Although his death is not a lasting one, it takes Finn years to finally face the trauma of what she saw. The best way she knows how to heal is to start a band. What she doesn’t expect is to catch the attention of Aster himself. As Heaven’s Tiny Daggers rises to fame, new opportunities open up to Finn and the rest of the band. Namely, a prestigious spot at a New Orleans retreat where folk music legend, Helene Saturnine fosters up and coming artists. Once in New Orleans, however, the girls and their fellow guests find that La Bellemort mansion is far more than it seems, morphing to their every whim. But there’s something demonic lurking in the shadows of their summer home, one keen to pick them off one by one, and the house seems only eager to warp to their attacker’s needs…

Status: Currently completing final draft before sending it off to query in 2022.

Time, Regardless: In the small Southern California town of Santa Perdita, Marnie stalks the streets at night to exact her own form of vigilante justice. When a popular teen drama rolls into town to shoot its latest season, girls start showing up dead, each one a year younger than the last. Marnie’s convinced the charming love interest and his unruly entourage have something to do with it, but she can’t prove it all on her own. Enter Corvin Lockwood, mortician and resident bad boy, living alone in the mansion on the hill. Nothing spooks her more than his home, said to be so haunted, no one’s ever successfully completed a renovation since it was originally built. But she’s willing to do just about anything to solve the murders, even face her darkest fears just to get a glimpse of the bodies Corvin preserves if they’ll lead her to the answers she seeks. What lurks in that house, however, is more than Marnie bargained for. There’s a reason she was once too afraid to set foot in the mansion, yet still so drawn to it over the years. The clock is ticking and Marnie must confront a past she’s denied all her life before the killer strikes again and innocent children die.

Status: Awaiting complete rewrite after previous query with a very different plot. (Watch this space for a potential new title.) Next up after HTD!

Haunt Your Murderers: It’s Victorian London’s best kept secret that Millie Marsette likes to collect young protegees to take under her wing. What no one knows is how she breaks them, and leaves them in the dust in favour of her next shiny new toy. Melusine Cutpurse and Andrina Calder know her patterns intimately, and know not whether to scrape their way back into her good graces, or seek revenge. Melusine: the leader of a drag troupe who uses her brothel as a front for her underground crime ring. Andrina: A travelling circus aerialist turned pirate forced to become captain of her ship after watching her lover walk the plank to her certain death. The pair of them are joined in an unlikely mission against a mad doctor, piling up bodies for his sick experimentations. They say he’s on the quest for immortality, but only one person can grant him that: the very woman who made Melusine and Andrina who they are, and dropped them just as quickly. As everyone’s schemes begin to unravel, it turns out, they’re all as bad as each other…

Status: Backstory written, awaiting a full first draft write up. Who knows when we’re coming back to this one...

Vampire Gatsby Novel: A magnetic pair of vampires pluck a girl from a roadside crash and her certain death. They bring her to their lavish mansion and help her transition as a newborn vampire in all the glitz and glamour of the roaring 20s. Cecily and Jory are well known for their extravagant parties. It’s here, their new protegee, Lena must learn to hunt. Meanwhile, they’ve promised her a shining new career on the Hollywood lot, where she catches the eye of a sadistic director with a penchant for deadly set designs. The underworld is at Lena’s feet, and she must decide if she wishes to use her new form to cull the most dangerous criminals from the city, or simply become one of them.

Status: To be written!

Moonage Daydream / Woodland Mechanicals: Originally a TRC next generation fic found here, the fresh rewrite opens with the disappearance of a newborn, found unscathed in a clearing in the woods. The only problem is… it’s not the same child. Years later, Violet Lewandowski knows something’s wrong with her. Something dark is trying to crawl out of her, but she doesn’t know what. She grapples with her paranormal identity alongside defending herself and her mother from her violent mob boss father, who holds their small Rocky Mountain town in the palm of his hand. Her only solace is with her best friends and neighbours, Sargent and Indie Hennessy, the precocious children of local art forgers. Together, the three of them navigate labyrinthine tourist traps and spooky forests in an attempt to understand their magical roots before the monsters in the trees can take them as their own. No one knows for sure what goes on in the forest, but as they say... as above, so below...

Status: Original draft posted on AO3, to be adapted into an original novel. Like Regardless, the plot of the latest draft is very different from the original. Vampire Gatsby and this one are constantly vying for my attention depending on my mood and neither’s won out yet...

Circus Noir Novel: Based on true family history, a 1940s gang holds up an LA card club. The ensuing shootout leaves a policeman dead and a mobster brutally wounded. The latter escapes with the aid of a circus bareback rider. Generations later, the mobster’s descendants venture through the most dangerous corners of the city in search for the truth that kept their family so tight-lipped about their mysterious great-uncle for so long. A whimsical road trip quickly turns into crashing a mob funeral and leaving the children in needle-strewn library stacks, all in the name of chasing the truth, one nickle-fed newspaper photocopy at a time...

Status: Just dabbling for now, but I’ve thought about fictionalizing my family’s worst-kept secret (and most insane true story!) for years at this point...

Feel free to ask me about any of my WIPs!

[filmnoirfoundation]

NOIR CITY 19 wraps up today at Oakland's Grand Lake Theatre with ON DANGEROUS GROUND (1:00), THE PROWLER (3:00), ODDS AGAINST TOMORROW (7:00) and FORCE OF EVIL (9:00). All films introduced by Eddie Muller.

Sunday Matinée • March 27

ON DANGEROUS GROUND1:00 PM

Big-city cop Jim Wilson (Robert Ryan), embittered by his job, has become a ticking time bomb. Aware that Wilson's unhinged brutality is a lawsuit waiting to happen, his boss sends him to a snowy upstate town to cool off. There, Wilson meets Mary Malden (Ida Lupino), a sage blind woman who sees through his cynicism and vitriol. But before she can melt his defenses, a young girl is found murdered, and Wilson throws himself into the vengeful manhunt for the killer. Ryan and Lupino give powerhouse performances in this unusually structured film, ingeniously and aggressively directed by Nicholas Ray. Half of it takes place in the nocturnal city, the other half in blinding white snowscapes; notions of natural and human duality abound. Featuring brilliant cinematography by George Diskant and one of Bernard Herrmann's most distinctive scores, which plays up the film's themes through an astounding juxtaposition of propulsive brass and wistful strings.

1952, RKO [Warner Bros.] 82 minutes. Screenplay by A. I. Bezzerides, based on the novel Made with Much Heart by Gerald Butler. Produced by John Houseman. Directed by Nicholas Ray.

THE PROWLER 3:00 PM

Patrolman Webb Garwood is more interested in achieving the American Dream than he is protecting it for others. After answering a woman's distress call about a peeping tom, Garwood hatches a nefarious plot to worm his way into her affluent but lonely life — and into her husband's life insurance policy. Van Heflin and Evelyn Keyes give stellar performances in this disturbing spider-and-fly romance, written covertly by legendary blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo and directed by the soon-to-be-blacklisted Joseph Losey. Largely dismissed by critics upon its release, it's now regarded as Losey's best American film, one that offers a compelling warning about small-minded people's willingness to abuse power for selfish gain. Restored in 2007 by the Film Noir Foundation and UCLA Film & Television Archive, the first triumph in a long-running partnership.

1951, Horizon Pictures/United Artists [FNF/UCLA Film & Television Archive]. 92 minutes. Screenplay by Dalton Trumbo (fronted by Hugo Butler) . Based on a story by Robert Thoeren and Hans Wilhelm. Produced by John Huston and Sam Spiegel (as S.P. Eagle). Directed by Joseph Losey.Sunday Evening •

ODDS AGAINST TOMORROW 7:00 PM

Disgraced ex-cop Dave Burke (Ed Begley) masterminds a piece-of-cake bank robbery in upstate New York, but to pull it off he requires the cooperation of two dangerously mismatched cohorts: hot-headed redneck war veteran Earle Slater (Robert Ryan) and gambling addict jazzman Johnny Ingram (Harry Belafonte); their racist antagonism threatens to thwart a seemingly fool-proof plan. Silent producer Belafonte hired blacklisted screenwriter Abraham Polonsky to adapt William P. McGivern's novel, specifically to subvert the sanctimony of The Defiant Ones (1958), a "feel good" movie about racism. Robert Wise's direction is as fresh and expressive as anything being done by the French New Wave of the period, and the score by John Lewis's Modern Jazz Quartet is innovative and exhilarating. With vivid supporting performances by Shelley Winters, Kim Hamilton, and Gloria Grahame. An all-time classic heist thriller—and much more.

1959, United Artists [Park Circus]. 96 minutes. Screenplay by Abraham Polonsky, with Nelson Gidding (fronted by John O. Killens). Based on the novel by William P. McGivern. Produced by Harry Belafonte (uncredited) and Robert Wise. Directed by Robert Wise.

FORCE OF EVIL 9:00 PM

One of the most distinctive works of the noir era, Abraham Polonsky's directorial debut is an exposé of the New York numbers racket and a riveting tale of a fallen man's attempt to reclaim his soul (John Garfield, in one of his best roles). Unfortunately for Polonsky, the House Committee on Un-American Activities also felt the film was a thinly veiled attack on the nation's capitalist system, suggesting parallels between the operations of businessmen and gangsters. Polonsky was blacklisted, unable to put his name on any work he produced over the next twenty years. Force of Evil is innovative and superlative in every respect; its stylized art direction complementing vivid New York location footage. With an evocative score by David Raksin and memorable performances by Thomas Gomez, Beatrice Pearson, Marie Windsor, and Roy Roberts.

1948, MGM [Park Circus]. 78 minutes. Screenplay by Abraham Polonsky and Ira Wolfert, from Wolfert's novel Tucker's People. Produced by Bob Roberts. Directed by Abraham Polonsky.

[wumblr]

baby are you an hors d'ouvres? because you're the only horse i'd divorce. call me sugar daddy cause i raised this beet. do you know what a trial it is to live in my mind every day? it's like a neverending stream of this. if i don't write a noir detective novel then what's even the point. she walked in on legs like. um. stilts. like a clown. one of those sad clowns, i could tell. naturally i offered her some scotch, something special i had reserved just in case of the occasion, the occasion of a clown who couldn't really keep her balance. it's more of a professional hazard than you might think. she sat down at the chair across from my desk and honked, like a deflating balloon at a suburban kid's birthday party. a whole three ring circus and a half. it wasn't until i offered her a kleenex that the waterworks really started. seltzer. i should have known. but could she tell that i knew? it was so hard to see beyond that painted-on smile. this clown absolutely killed her husband. but what was she paying me for? it was going to take a real detective's detective to figure that out. my old colleague, private private eye eye... DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M DEALING WITH HERE

[katatty]

8, 28, and 31 for Hollyhead, please! ^^

8. what about your story are you proud of?

Hmmm, it's a tough one, there isnt any one individual thing about Hollyhead I think is super amazing apart from, like, the overall vibe? I just think it works really nicely as a cozy bit of escapism! whenever I get asks saying people wish they lived there I feel like I'm achieving that goal :D

28. if you could reproduce your story in another medium (movie, novel, comic, etc.) what would you choose and why?

I know earlier I said I think of Hollyhead as similar to a slice-of-life anime, so probably that! Something similar to Kyoto Animation or Studio Ghibi, just a chill series of vignettes about the everyday lives of magical folk in this little town, haha.

31. drop some random trivia about your story

Trivia, trivia... One piece of trivia I guess is that I have made a LOT of Downtowns for Hollyhead before discarding all my work and starting again, haha. Partly this is because I keep getting carried away with hood deco and getting a ton of pink flashing, but I think it's also becasue I can't settle on what I want the vibe to be - more of a TS1 Magic Town circus-y thing (cute, but not sure it's city-like enough)? Or something a bit more grungey and noir (cooler, but maybe contrasts too much with Hollyhead's tone)? I change my mind a lot so still haven't added one yet even though I think they've had enough funds for a while, haha

[fantasy-pens]

WIP Challenge

Thanks a lot for the tag @fictionalinfinity​ @miabrown007​ and @celestialtitania​!

So here’s my list:

Love is the Answer: (frozen)

The Queen opened her mouth to say something, but then decided to stay quiet. Agnarr was right. Discussing the past would do not good but only open the barely-healed wounds. She had lost her tribe, but he too had lost his Father in the war. 

And they both didn’t know whose fault it was. Just kids at that time, they did what childish innocence highlighted as the best. Protect each other whenever possible. She saved him from the war, and he gave her shelter in Arendelle, all the while protecting her, keeping her safe and close to his heart. Their love was unique,for it had not sprouted from any sort of beneficial royal alliances and friendships. Their love was strong, for it had braved the ravages of time, and had gradually morphed from close friendship to a bond that lasted for eternity.

The Frost In Our Hearts (jelsa)

Once upon a time, there was a girl

It’s weird to find your life story similar to a novel. It’s weirder to read a character’s life story as your own. It’s the weirdest to write your life story in first person.

So, don’t mind the strike, okay? Though I am sorry for ruining your first page like that ;p

2043: The Mystery of the Headless Hunt (Adrinette Miraculous)

“Detective, it’s past noon, so I thought-”Marinette snatched the sheets back from him and cuddled herself again, sighing into the envelope of darkness. “You and your tin brain, both can get the fuck outta here.”The sheets were snatched back again, and that was the moment of enlightenment for Marinette. Her roommate wasn’t a ball of sunshine; rather, he was one of Satan’s minions, pure evilness masked behind fake innocence.

Unnamed fic (maybe a supporting fic to some published work) (Lukanette)

“How do you manage to create these melodies?”

Strong arms wrapped around her waist as a chin rested on her head, and Marinette felt herself melt into the loving embrace.

“It’s simple. I just synchronise our heart songs together, ma cherie.”

A Golden Tomato fic (still deciding the title)

"And from here, you get the most beautiful view of the city of love, the city of Pa-"

"WHAT'S THAT??" shrieked someone. A tourist to be exact.

The guide broke from his praising speech, a bit chuffed at the interruption, and checked over.

Everything was normal. Birds chirping, traffic speeding on the lanes, houseboats floating down the Seine and tourists and residents flocking the city. The city, so peaceful, so calm.

Over-reacting tourists. Sigh. 

Fixing the clearly hyperventilating tourist with an unimpressed gaze, the guide spoke, "Everything is fine, sir."

"Really? Are you sure? ‘Cause if you are, then what for freak's sake is that?!", the tourist pointed frantically in the direction of the Louvre.

Ah!

 A fine piece of artistic malfunction was rampaging the area. Masked teenagers clad in red, black and yellow spandex were fighting a purple-clad bird-boy hybrid, all of them performing mind blowing circus stunts and parkour while fighting with a yo-yo, a baton, a top and a feathered fan. 

 The guide turned back to the group, grinning, "Yep. 100% sure. This is just another normal day in Paris. Now continuing the tour..."

A LadyNoir+Adrinette fic (Undecided title)

“MiLady, I know that look on your face. But please don’t take my Miraculous away. I didn’t even have a leather anniversary as a superhero!”

“I-what? No! I am not taking your Miraculous! And wait…” Ladybug steeped closer to him, and he caught the whiff of her pastries and flowers scent. He would have happily stayed in that small bliss had she not yanked him to her level by his bell.

“Do you specifically wanna celebrate a leather anniversary as a superhero ‘cause your costume is made out of leather?”

“Wow MiLady, you really are a genius. But, why are you still giving me this look?”

Another adrinette fic (I have too many unnamed WIPs...)

Nino had warned him earlier. 

The DJ had given the model the best advice a male human could ever give to another for the protection of sanity of their gender.

“Dude, no matter what happens, never ever, I repeat, NEVER EVER eavesdrop on girls’ talk. Especially when they are talking in groups in hushed whispers. You never know what is cooking in their minds, or what uproar they might create if they know that a boy had been listening. These veelas can turn into hornets in a matter of seconds. And you sure won’t want to be a crisp, sizzled cinnamon roll in the fire of their wrath.”

“Okay!” Like the blessed, not so innocent pure beam of sunshine incarnate Adrien was, he promised to follow the golden advice.

Being a Fox I Know Something’s Fishy

“Paris, it’s high time we realise that underneath the masks, Ladybug and Chat Noir are two ordinary Parisians, just like us, who love their city like we do. With the responsibility of an entire city over their shoulders, can’t we not just help our heroes a little by not complaining about the damage we suffered, when they saved our face in New York by dealing with our local supervillain out there?”

There are also some fully written unpublished fics in there in need of polishing soooo i m not gonna add them here as they are already complete!

Tagging @valiantwarrior37 @fanfics-she-wrote @ladykateofledfordpark @apopcornkernel and umm...whoever sees this!

[medical-magpie]

Best books I’ve read in 2020

Like overall this year kinda sucked but some things helped me feel better about it, books are one of those things and even if my tbr hasn’t gone down in the slightest I’ve read quite a few really great books.

Rien n’est noir, Claire Breset

A romanced biography of Frida Kahlo, I’ve always admired her work and her life story fascinated me so when my mother picked this book for me I dived into it head first and wasn’t disappointed. Also I really liked how it was divided into parts by colours, and each chapter named after a hue of that colour.

Romance, Arnaud Catherine

This is a young adult novel on the turmoils of adolescence and first loves, falling in love with your childhood best friend, I found it extremely raw and I recognised myself in the main characters, I loved with him and ached with him. Kind of a visceral read might not be for everyone.

Scars like wings, Erin Stewart

I’m not sure how this book ended up in my life but I’m not mad about it. It’s the story of grief, family and acceptance following a burnt victim as she recovers from the fire that destroyed her home and took away her parents and cousin. Maybe not the most feel good but it was great.

The night circus, Erin Morgenstern

That one can only be described as the slowest burn I’ve ever read, including but not limited to intense longing, soulmates, fatal flaws, magic and found families. It’s not very linear and can be hard to follow. I loved it.

Crénom Baudelaire, Jean Teulé

Romanced biography of the french poet Charles Baudelaire, who lived a life of pure debauchery, it’s entertaining af and now I want to reread les fleurs du Mal with all that newfound knowledge that Baudelaire wasn’t prim and proper but completely unhinged.

Radium girls, Cy

If you’re interested in history and the role women played in it you’ve probably stumbled upon the radium girls, also called ghost girls, who painted the watch with radium paint in the 50’s. Their story is tragic I’m not gonna lie but I believe it’s a great instance of compagnies lying to protect themselves and the importance of union. Also the way the friendship between these women is portrayed is really nice and feels genuine. Bonus point to the artist who only used 8 different coloured pencils.

La vérité sur l’affaire Harry Quebert, Joël Dickers

I’ve heard they made a tv show based on this book, I couldn’t care less about it tbh, I made up my own reading this. It’s a murder mystery, a coming of age story and a clever deconstruction of role models all in one (some says it’s also a romance but I can’t agree), there’s a tons of twists but they all makes sense, the characters are well developed and the ending is quite original. I really enjoyed it.

You shine in the moonlight, Tetsuya Sano, Daichi Matsuse

There we go to the slightly guilty side of my book taste, the grief fantasy, where you can process your grief and pain through characters that can say all that they want to say before it’s to late, and even more if they help the passing of the other characters. This one is a weird romance, maybe the characters aren’t that well fleshed out, maybe the starting point was a bit far fetched and maybe Mamizu was a bit like a manic pixie dream girl but I loved it anyway. And ultimately not everything I enjoy has to be a pristine and beautifully written piece of high literature you know. If you enjoy doomed from the start love stories hey maybe this one is for you too.

[myrskytuuli]

Well, I’m back in Finland. After spending the first five weeks of 2020s in Balkans (Kosovo), I can definitely say that I have paid an appropriate homage to the spirit of the twenties. 

The notable thing about Kosovo is that everything is (for a northern European), incredibly cheap. This has led to the fact that all the expats in Pristina live like it was the roaring twenties, and they were the Gatsbies of their own lives. We very quickly made friends with the interns working in the different embassies, and promptly followed their invites to restaurants, parties, and clubs. Almost every night was spent dining in a restaurant, followed by drinks at the bar. Every weekend was spent at a party of some kind, never ending before 1am, the alcohol is so incredibly cheap, that the only thing holding you back is your own constitution. 

 When Evelyn Waugh wrote his novel Vile Bodies about the spirit of the 1920s, saying:

“‘Oh Nina, what a lot of parties.’…Masked parties, Savage parties, Victorian parties, Greek parties, Wild West parties, Russian parties, Circus parties, parties where one had to dress as somebody else, almost naked parties in St John’s Wood, parties in flats and studios and houses and ships and hotels and night clubs, in windmills and swimming baths, tea parties at school where one ate muffins and meringues and tinned crab, parties at Oxford where one drank sherry and smoked Turkish cigarettes, dull dances in London and comic dances in Scotland and disgusting dances in Paris- all that succession and repetition of massed humanity… Those vile bodies…”

...I felt that. I felt like I understood what he was talking about. 

Then there is the fact that Pristina is a city that feels like it was plucked straight out of the first half of the 20th century. The polluted smog from factories makes the streets look like they were straight out of a noir film with the foul smelling smog curling around street lights, the neon signs being the only thing shining through. people still smoke cigarettes inside restaurants, and by the time it is 5am in a hotel bar, the cigarette smoke is thick enough to make it hard to see around you. In a city where most people live in terrible poverty, the young foreign citizens live like young money in 1920s New York. They all know each other, they drink, they eat fancy, and take a taxi everywhere, and always try to find the next party for a lack of anything else to do. 

I wouldn’t want to live there for a long period, but for this one month I have to say that I fully enjoyed the very moist blast to the world of abandon and parties.  

[ifeveristoday]

Buffy Summers’s Diary (VI)

TRANSCRIPT FOR EPISODE 06, THE ANDREW AND VI PODCAST

Andrew: Before we start this episode, I just want to shout out to our sponsor, ZZZZTop mattresses. Hey Vi, did you know ZZZZTop mattress has a lifetime warranty?

VI: I did. I had the best sleep of my life on my ZZZZTop mattress. I think everyone should experience ZZZZTop’s 100 day trial period. Just use ANDYVI at the checkout online.

Andrew: That’s right, and if you don’t have the best sleep of your life on the ZZZZTop mattress, you can just return it with no questions asked. 

[muffled noise]

Andrew: How can they make any money with this model? What if I spill tomato soup on my mattress and it looks like a murder scene, I’m just going to nonchalantly have them pick it up and go, ‘oh I don’t know how that happened?’

Vi: Andrew, we’re recording. Also, why are you eating soup in bed?

[cupped microphone noise]

Andrew: You’re not the boss of me.

Andrew: That’s ZZZZTop mattress, with four z’s because of all the great sleep you’ll be getting!

Vi: So we have a very special guest with us today. I’m very excited, she was like, my idol when I was growing up. 

Andrew: Yes, today on our show we have [drum roll effect], former Olympic gold medalist Buffy Summers! Buffy is someone I’ve known for a very long time, so I’m really happy she could make it on our podcast today.

Buffy: Thanks for inviting me, Andrew. And it’s nice to meet you, Vi.

Vi: Oh my god. It’s really an honor. I mean, I had a poster of you on my wall. And my sister and I saved up our birthday money to see your skating exhibitions. That was so not cool what happened with Riley, by the way.

Buffy: Uh thank you for coming out to see me skate. Well, it was a long time ago, and it worked out in the end.

Andrew: Let’s not bring up the ugly past. We all love a comeback story, and to fit in with our theme of new beginnings, what have you been up to, Buffy?

Buffy: I’m working as a blogger for Young Magazine. 

Vi: Oh, I’ve heard of that. Isn’t that Kendra Young’s magazine?

Buffy: Yes, it’s her namesake magazine, and she’s the CEO. 

Vi: What’s it like working with a legend?

Buffy: Surprisingly easy - but I know what you mean. Kendra’s been an inspiration for me, both as a fellow skater and as a human being.

Andrew: Weren’t you guys competitors at one point?

Buffy: Only for two competitions. She placed first in one and I placed first in the other. Then she retired.

Andrew: Well, it’s always good to go out on top.

Buffy: Yeah.

Andrew was nice enough to edit out the five minutes of me disassociating after that, and told me it was a good interview. I think I disappointed his partner though - I could tell. You know the look when someone doesn’t live up to your expectations. 

I’ve been on the wrong end of that look far too often this month. Kendra didn’t like the column I turned in about self-care so I had to rewrite it, and then I got into a stupid fight with Cordelia at the staff meeting.

She cornered me afterwards and told me that I got lucky because Kendra offered me the job, while she busted her ass in journalism school.

What could I say to that?

She was right.

I missed Dawn’s recital by accident - the date completely slipped my mind and she left me a voicemail - she didn’t scream at me, but I almost wished she did.

I haven’t been the best older sister to Dawn - by the time she came along, I had started my skating lessons and mom’s attention was split unevenly between us. Dad ended up looking after Dawn while Mom drove me to practice. I pretty much ignored Dawn until she was old enough to speak in complete sentences and even then all we did was argue.

Now that she has her dance career and is the successful one in the family, she treats me like I’m the embarrassing younger sister. She’s always checking on me to make sure I’m eating - stopping by with groceries because she ‘was in the neighborhood.’ Dawn lives 45 minutes away in Dad’s condo.

It’s supposed to be my job to take care of her and I tell her so. She just rolls her eyes and says she doesn’t mind.

I don’t know what possessed me to agree to go on a date on Valentine’s day. It’s unnecessary pressure for a first date. It’s just that William and I kept on missing each other - either I had to work overtime or he was traveling for research or it was raining and I was in no mood to go outside - we might as well have been living in the missed connections section on Craigslist. Finally he just appeared in my cubicle and told me that we were going out for dinner and drinks and that he would pick me up.

Maybe it was because I haven’t been on a real date in so long, that I let the whole macho schtick pass.

He looked really good too - classic leather duster, black shirt and dark jeans. He looked like he stepped out of a noir film. All he was missing was a cigarette dangling out of his mouth and a fedora.

He bowed when he saw me. ‘Your carriage awaits, my lady.’

Okay, there might have been a little bit of fluttering.

William drives a vintage Cadillac, because of course he does.

I wore red because it’s legally mandated to do so on Valentine’s day.

Dinner was fine. It was excellent actually. William had gotten reservations at one of the best restaurants in LA - one that had a months long waiting list. ‘Must be nice to be famous,’ I said.

He shrugged, and then smirked. ‘It has its perks.’ We were tucked away in a corner, and the candle light made shadows flicker against his face. He looked unearthly, his head bowed over the menu. He sighed and then looked up at me. ‘Buffy, I can’t take it anymore.’

‘What?’ 

‘I can’t bloody see in this lighting.’ He fumbled in his pockets and slid out a pair of reading glasses. He put them on and then raised an eyebrow at me. 

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. 

He scowled, then his mouth relaxed into a smile. ‘You look lovely in this light.’

‘Only this light?’

‘In every light.’

It was my turn to study the menu. ‘So what should we get for appetizers?’

He chuckled.

It was what happened after the dinner that the date went completely downhill. It wasn’t completely William’s fault.

It was just a massive circus of embarrassment with a side of testosterone poisoning.

Anya called me as I was waiting for William to pull up with his car. ‘You have to come over to the store right now,’ she said. ‘Your special order has arrived.’

‘I didn’t special order anything.’

‘I did, for you. Because you’ve been looking so lonely lately and Willow told me you spend your weekends drinking tea and reading trashy novels.’

‘Anya - I am not lonely, I am actually on a date. And I haven’t been reading trashy novels. I’ve been watching Lifetime movies.’

‘So the television version of trashy novels. Got it. Bring your date to the Magic Box. It’ll benefit you both.’

‘I do not need another vibrator,’ I said. Loudly.

William’s eyebrows practically elevated to his hairline. ‘All right there, pet?’

‘Oooh, he’s got an accent. Bring him over,’ Anya ordered. ‘Buffy, this was very expensive and time consuming to order and is now taking up space in my storage room.’

‘I didn’t ask you to.’ 

‘Well I did and since it has your name on it, I can’t exactly just sell it on the floor as is.’

‘Oh my god, Anya, what is it?’

‘Come over and see.’ Then she hung up.

Would it really be murder if I had justifiable cause?

William couldn’t stop snickering on the drive over. ‘Is it made of glass? Leather? Bigger than a bread box?’

“Just shut up.’

The bell over the Magic Box’s door jangled a little too loudly as I burst in. ‘I’m here, you demon.’

Anya was not alone. There was a couple next to her, the man’s tall form vaguely familiar as I stomped toward her. ‘Just give me the sex toy or whatever it is so I can get back to my date.’

‘Buffy?’ 

The man turned to look at me, and if I could have melted into the floor, I would have. As it was, my cheeks felt like they were on fire.

‘Ang-Liam,’ I stammered. 

‘You’re on a date?’ Angel said just as his date put her hand on his arm. ‘Who’s this?’

It was not my brightest moment. ‘Uh no one. We’ve never met - An, we need to talk. About boundaries.’

I glared at her meaningfully. She pursed her lips. ‘I was trying to be helpful. It’s not my fault you want to be a spinster.’

‘Anya!’

‘Buffy, this is Fred. Fred, is this Buffy. We grew up together,’ Angel interrupted. He smiled and I tried not to notice how it made his eyes crinkle at the edges. 

Fred stuck out her hand and then I noticed how pretty she was. Her eyes were doll-like and thickly lashed. She looked like Bambi.

‘Hello, Buffy,’ she said cheerfully. There was sweet drawl to her voice and I felt even more embarrassed about yelling at Anya.

‘Hi -- Fred?’

‘Short for Winifred, but only strangers call me that,’ she said. ‘So you and Angel go way back?’

‘Yeah, we do, but I haven’t really seen him in the last few years,’ I said, trying to get Anya’s attention. ‘I’m sorry, I need to borrow Anya for a minute. I didn’t mean to interrupt your date.’

‘Oh lord, we’re not on a date,’ Fred laughed. ‘I’m helping Liam with party favors for a bachelor party. Because this one,’ she jerked her thumb at him, ‘is utterly clueless about what to get.’

‘Buffy, do you have change for the meter? Because I’m out and this has to be one of the last relics that still require actual coins --’

William came through the door, patting his pockets. Angel stiffened.

‘Spike,’ he said in a tone I’ve never heard him use.

William’s eyes narrowed. ‘Angel,’ he spat.

Angel went straight for his throat. Fred shrieked, and I wasn’t thinking too clearly either, the shock temporarily freezing me to the floor. Anya, however had no problems. She grabbed a broom and started swinging at them. ‘There will be no fighting in my store. Don’t think I won’t call the police. Also if you break it, you buy it!’

Fighting on tv always looks cooler than it really is - Angel and William’s fight devolved very quickly into William pulling Angel’s hair and Angel clumsily smacking him on the chin.

It ended with them collapsing onto the floor, with Angel putting William in a headlock.

Fred and I rushed over to break it up - Fred pulled William’s ear and I pinched Angel on his neck. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’

‘Are you dating this asshole?’ Angel sniped.

‘He started it,’ William said. He shoved Angel off of him. ‘Fuck, you still weigh a ton.’

‘We were on a date,’ I pointed out. ‘Then you attacked him, and I’m guessing you two know each other.’

‘He’s an uptight arse,’ William said, his accent losing its customary smoothness. Angel snorted. ‘And he’s a piece of shit liar.’

‘And you two are both allegedly grown men who fight -’

‘Like sad mimes,’ Anya chimed in. ‘Very amusing.’

‘Liam, are you all right?’ Fred asked. ‘Do we need to call the police?’

‘That’s a good idea, I should press charges for assault,’ William said belligerently. 

Angel stood up and brushed off his jacket. ‘Try it and I’ll end you. Don’t think I won’t this time.’

‘I’d like to see you try -’ 

‘William, shut up.’ I pushed my way through them. ‘I’ve decided I don’t care. Whatever your issues are, they’re yours. I am going home.’

‘I’ll drive you home, love.’ 

Angel bristled - I could practically see his hair getting spikier with anger. 

‘You know what, that’s okay -- I’m going to call a ride. I think I’ve had enough of Valentine’s day and this whole..’ I motioned at them, ‘whatever drama you two have.’

‘I could drop you off,’ Angel quickly said. ‘After Fred,’ he added.

‘Yeah, no. I’m good. Anya - I’ll get that thing later. Or you can burn it. You have my express permission to destroy it.’

I ran out of the Magic Box before she could respond. 

No one followed me, which was a relief.

Angel called me on the ride home and I dismissed it. A text popped up a few minutes later. 

Buffy, William Pratt is bad news. I worry about you. Call me when you get home.

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