#christopher taub

[unaballerinascalza]

House, M.D. in 2024 headcanons

Pt. 1

House takes birdwatching seriously, although in amateur mode, equipped with binoculars, dad shorts and a wilson holding snacks bait for bird pics

Wilson is a Temu victim

House, in one way or another, verbally defeats Jake Paul

Cam and Thirteen get caught in Janitor's Closet™ 2.0 but in a very cute way where they're just standing there and kissing each other's noses. House makes gagging sounds after said discovery

Foreman has beef with [a dislike towards] peas since 5th grade

No one from the team can keep plants alive except for maybe Wilson (cue to 30 aloe vera types in his balcony or something)*. House, in theory, would be able to, but he would rather rot than have a healthy hobby

Chase genuinely considers creating his own shampoo brand

House and Kutner competitively play NYT Connections

Thirteen outlifts Foreman at the gym. She is smug. He is vexed.

Taub reads 50 shades of grey multiple times every year

Cameron almost got into a stevia pill selling pyramid scheme

Foreman is an android boi but with the rage of an average apple user

Cuddy has stolen House's whiteboard marker at least twice just to fuck with him

Thirteen sent House all 0.5x pics of Foreman after their breakup

Kutner has blown up the microwave in the break room

*we love a 420 joke

Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

[tulip-wizard]

*walks out covered in blood*

so i just finished house md.

[quinnmorgendorffer]

[baconpncakes]

undefined

They rotate on a weekly basis

[walkingnightmare]

there’s something so ejfjfkf to me about taub and kutners relationship in s5

like kutner was the one to figure out taub was suicidal, and later kutner calls him his friend and taubs like ‘ehhh’ and kutners like ‘well we may not see each other out of work but i still think that’ and then kutner allowing taub to take the credit for his idea

all for taub to not realize kutner was suicidal

[lis4cuddy]

guess what: new house md crack vid is out, this time on series 4 (and this time hopefully without the copyright strike 🙃)

i will do other stuff than “series x ooc” (after series 5) it’s just that they were the easiest to make regarding the clips needed, but now i have basically clips of all seasons that interest me so i’ll be able to make other things (you can drop suggestions if you’d like but i already have a list of my own) so in conclusion: you might want to subscribe to this channel

[the-worst-bracket]

[pameluhr]

[magicmarkerz]

"christopher taub" who?

[all-pacas]

OK fine, nickname headcanons:

Foreman: no one calls him Eric. Has never really had any nicknames (his brother would sometimes tease him and call him Erica, but it didn't stick or anything). He doesn't like calling people by nicknames unless it's a Thomas/Tom situation; he thinks they're too cutesy. None of his friends call him Eric. He's universally Foreman.

Cameron: Probably did go by Allie as a kid and teenage, and then made the Conscious Choice to be Allison, to be treated more seriously and formally. Not coincidentally, her husband and Joe called her Allie, and she made the change after her husband died and she started med school. It's not that she can't stand to be called it or anything — her parents and brother still do for sure — but it feels like something from a different chapter of her life. Does go by Allison with her friends, especially outside work.

Chase: Was almost universally known as Robbie until the day he interviewed for House, and was idiotic enough to introduce himself like that to him. Has no strong feelings about what he's called, has gone by a variety of nicknames his entire life, both derivative and random results of injokes. The one thing he didn't often go by was Robert, except he started using it professionally and somehow it… stuck? More than once, he's introduced himself to girls as Chase out of habit, and been confused when they thought it was his first name later.

Taub: Pretty simple. His name is Christopher, he's gone by Chris his entire life, he's neutral to being called Taub, no strong feelings at all.

Kutner: Absolutely has gone by Laurie as a nickname for Lawrence. It might have started out as slightly teasing, but no, his first name is kind of awkward and Larry is just not a fantastic nickname. He only uses it with his close friends, though, and not professionally. He's dabbled with other names over the years, tried going by his middle name… he doesn't hate his first name, he just likes to try out different identities.

13: Was honestly kind of tickled when Thirteen became a genuine nickname. She doesn't dislike Remy, but it is an unusual name and she's never had a nickname before. And it's kind of nice. She has this name, it's only used by her friends, it's an injoke and a nickname in one. Kind of feels special, you know? She's really fond of it, although she'd never introduce herself as Thirteen.

Masters: Wishes she had a cute nickname. How do you nickname Martha? She went through a phase where she tried to go by Merry as a short version of her middle name, but it never quite stuck. She likes her name just fine, she just wishes she could have a cute, fun nickname, you know?

Adams: Was definitely a Jess or a Jessica, never a Jessie. Was never really called Adams in her life: like sure, it's her surname, she's used to being summoned as Dr. Adams, but she's always introduced herself by her first name, and it actually took some adjustment to get used to being universally regarded as Adams alone.

Park: Has swung between ambivalence and annoyance and spite over her name. Like you know she's punched at least a few people for making jokes about Chi, and had moments she wished her name was a little more "normal," but then she swung back around to "screw everyone who is racist and weird about it!" Growing up, at home, she always went by eighteen million nicknames of the pet name variety, mostly from her grandmother. Part of her actually really loves being known as Park now, like, it's so professional sounding.

[unaballerinascalza]

House, M.D. in 2024 headcanons

Pt. 2

That Nora lady uses the f slur with her besties at cocktail hour

House is THE Chappell Roan fan (loves her more than Thirteen does)

Someone from the team makes an artpiece out of defected IV needles while Under The Influence™. It either sells for tens of thousands at an auction or 31 dollars and 24 cents on Ebay, depending on the marketing

Chase has starred in a deodorant ad where he was on a motorbike and with sideburns

Chase and Thirteen constantly sing that one line from teenage dirtbag ("I've got two tickets to iron maiden, baby") together at the randomest times for no reason

Wilson feeds seagulls fries on purpose

Cuddy has a secret history of participating at fried chicken eating contests (and having won at least 4 times)

Thirteen gifts House a hot wheels colour changing monstertruck set. Kutner adds the garage from his collection. House keeps it all in his office

Chase wins a rap battle against an annoying kid who was bugging Cameron

Taub doesn't understand why everyone hates karma by Jojo Siwa

To make the ducklings concentrate during doctoring, House plays them royalty free music (e.g. spinning monkeys)

House steals Cameron's copy of "Red, white and royal blue" and doesn't give it back because it'S GENUINELY GOOD

Foreman orders boxes of samyang ramen noodles. He adds all the sauce and eats it without batting an eye

Chase takes Thirteen to Australia as a siblings trip. They get arrested.

Park has a cleaning tiktok

Pt. 1 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

[go-away-please-thank-you]

the christopher taub ‘be better’ princeton plainsboro promotional poster lives rent free in my brain. btw.

[baconpncakes]

Ya ever think about how like... Chase is House and Foreman is Cuddy and Cameron is Wilson. But Foreman is also House in other ways. And Cameron tried to be Cuddy but she couldn’t do it. Amber is House. Thirteen is Wilson, but sometimes she’s House. Kutner and Taub are House and Wilson, but they trade off which is which. This show is so good at creating parallels between characters and relationships but the implications leave me reeling.

[ruvviks]

hou/se md oc info under the cut if anyone is interested. btw

full name stephen darling but since everyone's referred to by their last name he's called darling. some try to call him stephen instead because idk they're fighting demons (bisexuality) but then he starts doing the same and after calling taub "christopher" one time they all just call him darling without issue

he's trans and considering the show there would be so many jokes about it but he does not care. will purposely go very in-depth about his top surgery and further wishes (or the lack thereof) to make others uncomfortable to get them to stop asking stupid questions

1.69m tall which makes him 3cm taller than taub. funny

gets hired alongside thirteen kutner and taub but gets fired first for being too passive in the diagnostic process but then gets tossed back at house by cuddy after she finds him treating a very sick patient in secret under house's name to get the patient the proper medication. she urges house to hire him because they can "keep each other leashed"

specializes in endocrinology and gynecology and is also a surgeon

sleeps with 90% of the diagnostic team + friends because somebody in this fucking hospital has to

he's very social and likes making friends :) his charisma also helps with getting on a patient's good side which comes in especially handy after several wrong diagnoses or unnecessary tests

good at thinking of alternative methods to get specific test results if the most obvious test can't be done for whatever reason; but at the same time prioritizes the patient's wishes over anything else and will refuse to do something the patient doesn't want even if someone else still tells him to do it

besties with kutner :)

[lis4cuddy]

house md: put a bon iver song on a sad scene at the end of a season

me:

(also it’s not fair to give such hopes at the end of 7x22 only to then brutally fuck it all up with 7x23)

[desolate-skies]

christopher “this is a good experience for me, as my parents never got divorced” taub is, i fear, one of the funniest characters on this show