#christopher taub

[unaballerinascalza]

House, M.D. in 2024 headcanons

Pt. 1

House takes birdwatching seriously, although in amateur mode, equipped with binoculars, dad shorts and a wilson holding snacks bait for bird pics

Wilson is a Temu victim

House, in one way or another, verbally defeats Jake Paul

Cam and Thirteen get caught in Janitor's Closet™ 2.0 but in a very cute way where they're just standing there and kissing each other's noses. House makes gagging sounds after said discovery

Foreman has beef with [a dislike towards] peas since 5th grade

No one from the team can keep plants alive except for maybe Wilson (cue to 30 aloe vera types in his balcony or something)*. House, in theory, would be able to, but he would rather rot than have a healthy hobby

Chase genuinely considers creating his own shampoo brand

House and Kutner competitively play NYT Connections

Thirteen outlifts Foreman at the gym. She is smug. He is vexed.

Taub reads 50 shades of grey multiple times every year

Cameron almost got into a stevia pill selling pyramid scheme

Foreman is an android boi but with the rage of an average apple user

Cuddy has stolen House's whiteboard marker at least twice just to fuck with him

Thirteen sent House all 0.5x pics of Foreman after their breakup

Kutner has blown up the microwave in the break room

*we love a 420 joke

Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

[tulip-wizard]

*walks out covered in blood*

so i just finished house md.

[bitchlesslesbian]

I think that being a nurse in ppth would've hilarious in gossips terms , like yes i would love to bet $100 in the poll of "Are James Wilson , head of oncology and Gregory House , head of diagnostics fucking?" And talking about Chase and Cameron crappy divorce and how Taub cheats on his wife with nurses and who is going to be next

[quinnmorgendorffer]

[baconpncakes]

They rotate on a weekly basis

[walkingnightmare]

there’s something so ejfjfkf to me about taub and kutners relationship in s5

like kutner was the one to figure out taub was suicidal, and later kutner calls him his friend and taubs like ‘ehhh’ and kutners like ‘well we may not see each other out of work but i still think that’ and then kutner allowing taub to take the credit for his idea

all for taub to not realize kutner was suicidal

[lis4cuddy]

guess what: new house md crack vid is out, this time on series 4 (and this time hopefully without the copyright strike 🙃)

i will do other stuff than “series x ooc” (after series 5) it’s just that they were the easiest to make regarding the clips needed, but now i have basically clips of all seasons that interest me so i’ll be able to make other things (you can drop suggestions if you’d like but i already have a list of my own) so in conclusion: you might want to subscribe to this channel

[the-worst-bracket]

[pameluhr]

[unaballerinascalza]

House, M.D. in 2024 headcanons

Pt. 2

That Nora lady uses the f slur with her besties at cocktail hour

House is THE Chappell Roan fan (loves her more than Thirteen does)

Someone from the team makes an artpiece out of defected IV needles while Under The Influence™. It either sells for tens of thousands at an auction or 31 dollars and 24 cents on Ebay, depending on the marketing

Chase has starred in a deodorant ad where he was on a motorbike and with sideburns

Chase and Thirteen constantly sing that one line from teenage dirtbag ("I've got two tickets to iron maiden, baby") together at the randomest times for no reason

Wilson feeds seagulls fries on purpose

Cuddy has a secret history of participating at fried chicken eating contests (and having won at least 4 times)

Thirteen gifts House a hot wheels colour changing monstertruck set. Kutner adds the garage from his collection. House keeps it all in his office

Chase wins a rap battle against an annoying kid who was bugging Cameron

Taub doesn't understand why everyone hates karma by Jojo Siwa

To make the ducklings concentrate during doctoring, House plays them royalty free music (e.g. spinning monkeys)

House steals Cameron's copy of "Red, white and royal blue" and doesn't give it back because it'S GENUINELY GOOD

Foreman orders boxes of samyang ramen noodles. He adds all the sauce and eats it without batting an eye

Chase takes Thirteen to Australia as a siblings trip. They get arrested.

Park has a cleaning tiktok

Pt. 1 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

[taub-truther]

you find out your husband Dr Christopher Taub has been cheating with an entire clown car full of inexplicably hot women. but just as you're about to squash him flat with a giant hammer, he gives you one of these:

wyd

[desolate-skies]

christopher “this is a good experience for me, as my parents never got divorced” taub is, i fear, one of the funniest characters on this show

[all-pacas]

OK fine, nickname headcanons:

Foreman: no one calls him Eric. Has never really had any nicknames (his brother would sometimes tease him and call him Erica, but it didn't stick or anything). He doesn't like calling people by nicknames unless it's a Thomas/Tom situation; he thinks they're too cutesy. None of his friends call him Eric. He's universally Foreman.

Cameron: Probably did go by Allie as a kid and teenage, and then made the Conscious Choice to be Allison, to be treated more seriously and formally. Not coincidentally, her husband and Joe called her Allie, and she made the change after her husband died and she started med school. It's not that she can't stand to be called it or anything — her parents and brother still do for sure — but it feels like something from a different chapter of her life. Does go by Allison with her friends, especially outside work.

Chase: Was almost universally known as Robbie until the day he interviewed for House, and was idiotic enough to introduce himself like that to him. Has no strong feelings about what he's called, has gone by a variety of nicknames his entire life, both derivative and random results of injokes. The one thing he didn't often go by was Robert, except he started using it professionally and somehow it… stuck? More than once, he's introduced himself to girls as Chase out of habit, and been confused when they thought it was his first name later.

Taub: Pretty simple. His name is Christopher, he's gone by Chris his entire life, he's neutral to being called Taub, no strong feelings at all.

Kutner: Absolutely has gone by Laurie as a nickname for Lawrence. It might have started out as slightly teasing, but no, his first name is kind of awkward and Larry is just not a fantastic nickname. He only uses it with his close friends, though, and not professionally. He's dabbled with other names over the years, tried going by his middle name… he doesn't hate his first name, he just likes to try out different identities.

13: Was honestly kind of tickled when Thirteen became a genuine nickname. She doesn't dislike Remy, but it is an unusual name and she's never had a nickname before. And it's kind of nice. She has this name, it's only used by her friends, it's an injoke and a nickname in one. Kind of feels special, you know? She's really fond of it, although she'd never introduce herself as Thirteen.

Masters: Wishes she had a cute nickname. How do you nickname Martha? She went through a phase where she tried to go by Merry as a short version of her middle name, but it never quite stuck. She likes her name just fine, she just wishes she could have a cute, fun nickname, you know?

Adams: Was definitely a Jess or a Jessica, never a Jessie. Was never really called Adams in her life: like sure, it's her surname, she's used to being summoned as Dr. Adams, but she's always introduced herself by her first name, and it actually took some adjustment to get used to being universally regarded as Adams alone.

Park: Has swung between ambivalence and annoyance and spite over her name. Like you know she's punched at least a few people for making jokes about Chi, and had moments she wished her name was a little more "normal," but then she swung back around to "screw everyone who is racist and weird about it!" Growing up, at home, she always went by eighteen million nicknames of the pet name variety, mostly from her grandmother. Part of her actually really loves being known as Park now, like, it's so professional sounding.

[baconpncakes]

Ya ever think about how like... Chase is House and Foreman is Cuddy and Cameron is Wilson. But Foreman is also House in other ways. And Cameron tried to be Cuddy but she couldn’t do it. Amber is House. Thirteen is Wilson, but sometimes she’s House. Kutner and Taub are House and Wilson, but they trade off which is which. This show is so good at creating parallels between characters and relationships but the implications leave me reeling.

[the-beginning-is-ending]

HOUSE M.D × INSCRYPTION

This isn't my first HouseMD AU, nor will it most likely be the last lol. You'll probably see less of this one??? Maybe??? Idk. Either way, I wanted to post this! Inscryption is one of my favorite games, and combining it with my favorite show felt right.

Questions about this AU or the game of Inscryption itself will be answered. I'm 100% willing to make a post explaining Inscryption as well for the HouseMD fans or people who saw this AU

Information of the AU under the cut!

[EXAMPLE]

Name [Attack/Health]

Animal [Sigil]

Sigil Meaning:

Animal/Card Symbolism:

ps: Masters & Amber will be included. just wait

FREE CARDS

GREGORY HOUSE [1/4]

Limping Jaguar [No Sigil]

Animal/Card Symbolism: Jaguars are strong animals, just how House is very clever, even for his field, and how a limp damages that view and themselves (A Jaguar couldn't survive long with a limp, House is damaging his body with Vicodin for it)

JAMES WILSON (0/3)

Hare [Many Lives]

Sigil Meaning: Whenever this card is sacrificed, it does not die

Animal/Card Symbolism: Hares are lagomorphs and still adored creatures, but are often seen as creepier than bunnies. Wilson, as willing and caring as he is, has a few horrors within himself.

ALLISON CAMERON [1/3]

Bunny [Hoarder]

Sigil Meaning: When this card is played, choose a card from your deck to be drawn immediately.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Bunnies are seen as innocent, fluffy animals and have connections to religion and morals

CHI PARK [1/4]

Beetle [No Sigil]

Animal/Card Meaning: Park is small and underestimated

2 BONES

CHRISTOPHER TAUB [1/2]

Hamster [Bone King]

Sigil Meaning: When this card dies, 4 Bones are awarded instead of 1.

Animal/Card Symbolism: A small coward. Rodent energy.

1 BLOOD

ROBERT CHASE [2/4]

Rat [Sprinter]

Sigil Meaning: At the end of the owner's turn, this card moves in the sigil's direction.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Chase is a coward who rats out and hides with anyone he thinks might just save his ass

ERIC FOREMAN [2/3]

Giant Salamander [Sharp Quills]

Sigil Meaning: Once this card is struck, the striker is dealt 1 damage.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Amphibians need specific living environments, being worse in poor ones than average. Foreman grew up in a not-so-good environment.

LISA CUDDY [2/3]

Clipped Parrot [Loose Tail]

Sigil Meaning: When this card is struck, a tail [feather] is created in its place and this card moves to the right.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Cuddy is intelligent and a valuable person, but can struggle with how she's taken due to her gender, and put down because of it. Held back by something.

LAWRENCE KUTNER [1/3]

Fox [Corpse Eater]

Sigil Meaning: If a card that you own dies by combat, this card is played from your hand on its space.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Foxes have a history of jokes and trickery, and can make laughing noises. I think this is fitting for the persona he puts on

2 BLOOD

REMY “13" HADLEY [2/3]

Spider Ball Python [Bifurcated Strike]

Sigil Meaning: This card will strike each opposing space to the left and right of the spaces across it.

Animal/Card Symbolism: Spider Ball Pythons have a gene that makes them wobble, and are doomed from the start

JESSICA ADAMS [2/4]

Hound [Guardian]

Sigil Meaning: When an opposing card is played opposite an empty space, this card moves to that space.

Animal/Card Symbolism: A working dog, stuck in one point of her life to never rest

[go-away-please-thank-you]

the christopher taub ‘be better’ princeton plainsboro promotional poster lives rent free in my brain. btw.