#chop time near

[johnschneiderblog]

Queen of the crop

Get a load of this big, beautiful girl - the undisputed heavyweight champ of my garden.

Daily monitoring with a hand-held microscope tells me that her trichomes are beginning to turn from clear, to that milky opaqueness we seek. Harvest is near.

"Trichomes"? They're the resinous glands that contain the cannabinoids, terpenes and other compounds that give cannabis its therapeutic powers.

After culling the male plants and losing a couple of girls in a recent storm, I'm left with seven survivors. Chop time is near.

[grechsblog]

partys cooking headcanons from my brain best to worst:

- bonnie: canonically good cook, proficient in the kitchen, 10/10 no notes

- isabeau: can make a couple of semi-complicated things, although often miscalculates the seasoning. given explicit instructions may be able to cook Very good dishes

- mirabelle: prone to anxiety attacks wherever the list of instructions is given or not. is able to make simple soups or dishes with very little amounts of steps

- siffrin: can successfully boil water on the stove and put/get out something in oven. mostly okay to leave in the kitchen but is Very Likely to mess up the ingredients and/or add some stuff that will make whatever he cooks inedible

- odile:

[seagull-scribbles]

Happy valentines! what says ‘love’ like two smelly, unwashed teen boys?

Drew this after a lovely convo with @less-depresso-more-espresso, who also gave me this song to listen to 💕 so this one’s for you bestie aha

[zvaigzdelasas]

Think I made nearly-perfect chanterelles tonight for dinner

[cainite-bite]

one of my most favorite pet peeves is when someone talks about an old edgy game and is like "its a shame because you couldn't just make that nowdays it would NEVER have been allowed its a shame how we've fallen" but like you get to look at them in comparison to things we have now that are actively even more grusome than ever. People say manhunt couldn't be released today because its too brutal but then the last of us has some extra brutal executions too, and don't even get me started on how the MK series is nowadays. "they would have to censor the story so heavily today so im glad [blank] came out years ago" they say, as some weren't already censored to tone it down- a perfect example of that is always going to be Twisted Metal Black where they changed up Raven's, Dollface's, Agent Stone's, Preacher's, John Doe's story to simmer them all down and lighten the blow, expunging certain levels ambient sounds because the implications of domestic violence, and the changing of No-face's surgical cutscene to make it not as explicitly nasty and meanwhile modern games have been actively stepping it up to be even worse.

"Games are just too prudish nowdays we couldnt even get another ghostly desires LOL" and meanwhile the front page to steam is literally littered with hentai games. that do not hide the lewd and raunchy screenshots. sometimes its a freshly creampied pussy in your face. yeah that. Im sorry but there's so much god damn porn games that are available to buy and some of it is mainstream even (Huniepop for instance).

Back in the day NightTrap was rated as an Adult game. Now? It's T for teen because how tame it kinda is. We're not as prudish or pearlclutchy on literally any of these points as we used to be and thank fucking god for that- but literally take off the nostolgia goggles cause its fuckin blinding you sweetie

[smittyw]

oc asks....... i know razz has evolved but do you still have your other fangan ocs......

absolutely i do & theyve evolved the same way :-)

the main change besides the context theyre in now is that i shifted focus really drastically. fred and noemi and kita are all still here and theyre at the forefront now; its less clear bc they werent as developed back then, but even Q and molly were meant to be in the old story (in the reserve course & working for the foundation respectively lol) so they existed and evolved since then too

unfortunately i did scrap two of my former main ocs, maddy and amari, for everything except incidental roles in the au i still kick around with vanpires and shit. that decision was solely bc i was uncomfortable w them being direct self inserts; they were the first of the cast i made bc they were literally sonas for myself and my friend who got me into dr ^_^.. and as a result the 'main' group with ross (formerly russel i changed his name for fun) and alex got super destabilized. and i had to rethink where to fit them into the plot and social circles, which worked fine with ross but not so much for alex bc i literally dont know what to do w that guy

if ur curious abt anyone else in particular i can give a rundown of their current whereabouts & any changes that have been made 🤓☝️

[bunnyb34r]

Afsfsfsggdgd omggg

I ordered a salad from Marco's and I put I want none of the toppings but: feta cheese, cheddar cheese, spinach.

They were out of spinach and cheddar.

Now I thought they would have like carrot strips, cabbage, you know the basic bagged salad shit right?

No they gave me a bowl of lettuce and feta cheese. I was crying with laughter when I saw this shit sgdgdggdgd heres a pic with croutons and dressing but... god

Oops! All lettuce!

Croutons ✔ dressing ✔ feta ✔ lettuce ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔

It looks nasty but it was honestly a really great salad agsggdgd 9/10 needs less feta

[stinkrascal]

i woke up so early today bc me and bf are cooking a crock pot roast and letting it sit for 8 whole hours so it will be done by the time hes off work… and dude this looks so good!! call me chef jaiden 🧑🏼‍🍳

[imagineagreatadventure]

so i've had a little lump/bump on my neck right where the hyoid bone is since sunday. came out of nowhere which is alarming and it has been lightly choking me since. doc proclaimed it was a boil on monday and lanced/biopsied it will so we'll see if she's right.

do you know how terrifying it is to have a lance/biopsy like that?? cause honestly i must've flashed back to a past life or something where i got my head cut off bc the terror gripped me.

but anyhow been taking sick since yesterday afternoon bc i am extremely fatigued from it lightly choking me (it's only recently started shrinking) and it's been a pretty awful time esp. with the C word hanging above my head.

[luxrayz64]

I saw a post a while back responding to criticism of botw as being "a good game but not a good zelda game", and they responded with how the Zelda Formula was getting tired and stale and botw was a response to that, that it was meant to harken back to the original zelda game where it just drops you in and it makes you find everything on yr own. which like is fine and good and all but. you do know that the original zelda had 8 full unique (as unique as they could be on the nes) dungeons right. the original zelda game had dungeon items. they didn't need to take out one of zeldas defining gameplay aspects and replace it with the fundamentally inferior shrines and divine beasts. you can make a game non linear and refresh its gameplay without taking out one of the series' strongest aspects.

[aimarann]

Help my DIU is making me want to die again aaaaaaaaa I thought I was over itttttt

[ficoandleo]

what your fave foods

"I like pretty much anything spicy! The spicier the better! I've had some allegedly authentic Thai and Indian stuff that was really, really good. Not sure I could pin down a fave though. Probably because I kinda wish I didn't really have to eat?"

"I don't really like anything too heavy; frankly I don't much like eating at all, but eating too little was something I was chided for frequently growing up." Now that he's an adult he doesn't have to eat much at all and no one can tell him he's wrong for it!! "I tend to prefer antipasto to proper dishes--bruschetta, for example. Aside from that, maybe pasta alla puttanesca. Although finding any kind of authentic, regional dishes in Tokyo is impossible as far as I can tell. The ingredients are different too, so teaching someone else may as well be a lost cause."

[yuquinzel]

atsumu who goes above and beyond to impress you, his crush and classmate of four years, in all definitions of “impress.”

honestly how the fuck isn't it obvious to you by now, he might as well be walking around with “i like y/n” tattooed on his forehead.

you mention you like guys that can cook once and holy fuck atsumu who still doesn't know how to use the microwave without quite literally burning the food, who's never chopped onions before without ending up with enough cuts to bandage his whole hand— that atsumu practices for weeks and stays up till 2 am to prepare for the lunch he'll make for himself, because osamu said said no and then because you bring homemade lunch to stay and eat in class with your friends— he'll casually just plop down on the seat next to you, his friends will then very obviously willingly talk loudly about his lunch and he'll just throw in a, “yeah, made it maself, 'm a solid chef, who do ya think taught 'samu?”

okay if that didn't get your attention, no worries, what are his friends there for?

if atsumu gets lucky in a day and catches you chatting away with your friends in the hallway, then he instructs his friends to walk past you, hover in the corner, just within your earshot— “'kay, so when we pass her by, ya gotta speak ma name real loud, loud enough so she can hear it, but don't annoy her”

and so for the time you stand there, trying to hold a conversation with your friends, all your mind can really focus on is the, “atsumu was so fucking good in practice today, if we're gonna win, then it'll be all him”

and then you hear the subject of the conversation speak, “nah, we're a team, every time we win, it's all thanks ta you guys,” because you also mentioned you like modest, humble guys.

god forbid the days you're absent in class.

atsumu who's sulking all day, doesn't know what the fuck is going on in classes, he's half in and half not in every conversation, even his passes are sloppy and weak. to the point osamu and suna are concerned, well, in their own ways, “are ya constipated or something, yer missin’ your spikes and yer passes as clumsy,” osamu says off-handedly.

“i heard y/n didn't come today, i think her friends said she's sick.” suna chips in, and atsumu shrinks in his spot like a grumpy cat.

“i already know that, wouldn't have come today if i knew she wasn't comin’.”

“you'd miss practice then.”

“don't care, don't talk to me, don't wanna do anything, what's the point.”

“down fucking bad,” suna muses, and atsumu glares at him.

atsumu's day is ruined and his disappointment is immeasurable. why did you get sick? how could you get sick? now he's worried and half of himself and his passes are shit and god, he wants to see you. he feels like he could die.

then when you finally show up the next day after what felt like eternity to atsumu, you find on your desk a pile of snacks with a little note— banana milk, everyone knows it's your favourite, the bar of chocolate they only sell down the convenience store near the school, the glazed donuts that you're always eating in class, and a lot of bubblegums that only one person in class knows you like— atsumu's handwriting is rushed and barely comprehensive but you know it by heart because he doesn't know you saw him slip the note you found in your locker this morning, and countless other mornings—

“i hope you smile because of this”

atsumu as a secret admirer is... not so secret because he's still unaware that you see him every morning, and let him giggle to himself as he slips the notes and the strips of bubblegums in your locker— you don't even like that flavor.

but he gave them, so you think they might just be your favourite.

then again, maybe atsumu doesn't want to be a secret admirer.

atsumu has a crush on you and you know that— he's very obvious. but he's also very dense and doesn't realise that everyone besides him can see you like him too. he doesn't know the only reason you bring homemade lunch is because he had started to eat lunch in class with his friends. you stand in the hallways with your friends pretending to talk so that when atsumu's walking past you, his friends will practically yell his name and you'll see him blushing shyly. he still doesn't know you come to his every match, cheering for him and scream with joy at every one of his scores.

atsumu makes it obvious he has a crush on you but is stupidly dense that you reciprocate all the same :'))))

© yuquinzel 2024 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]

POSTING BECAUSE WHY TF NOT HUH HUHHHHHHHHH

@kyoghurts hi bbg

[snoot-boop]

Homicipher relationship hcs 🎀

Warnings: spoilers for Homicipher

Please enjoy my delulu ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

Mr. Crawling

-sweetest, most affectionate of the bunch

-constantly needs to be near you, don't leave his sight he'll be sad and worried

-likes talking to you and you to talking to him

-would sit on the ground between your legs as you sit on the couch so you can play with his hair

-likes anything involving you tbh

-enjoys bathtime (cmon yk these guys are grimy) when you're the one scrubbing him

-not overprotective but he'll stand up (get it?) for you when he deems it necessary

-understands the concept of liking/loving someone

-a bit jealous at times, tugs on your clothes when he wants your attention

-cuddles cuddles cuddles

-fav cuddle position: his head on your chest while you two hold hands

Mr. Silvair

-resident doctor man

-denies wanting to help you or liking you at first, saying it's just yk science stuff

-10/10 on the manners test tho, he knows to say hello, to say goodbye, to apologize

-would do daily routine checkups on you

-is quite enthusiastic about teaching you, addig more complex words later on (he made them up cuz the words he wanted didn't exist)

-would not let you into his workspace, it's too dangerous

-not particularly chatty but he's happy to talk about his new discoveries and patients

-will experiment on you if you let him

-has a few extra vials of your blood around just incase you start seeing red and mutating

-doesn't really get jealous

-not the biggest on physical touch so you'll have to initiate

-fav cuddle position: facing eachother with his hands on your waist or your hands locked between the two of you

Mr. Chopped Head

-most expressive and talkative one around

-will loudly proclaim his love for you and announce yours and his arrival to friends

-will also loudly complain and throw a fit if you or anything else is upsetting him

-clingy but he has no way to cling so he yaps constantly to keep your attention on him

-wants you to carry him everywhere

-goes to Ms. Hairdresser at least once a week

-wears the cat ears cuz you like em <3

-will let you decorate or braid his hair but not cut it

-pulls silly faces when he sees you're down

-you're probably gonna have to constantly look for him, he has a penchant for getting lost and or into sticky situations

-get jealous quite easily, just starts loudly interrupting whoever he's jealous of

-fav cuddle position: hold him like a plush animal

Mr. Gap

-silly goose

-teases you for fun

-scares you by appearing right infront of you or making a spooky noise from behind you

-keeps asking for your heart even after you're together

-brings you random trinkets he finds that he thinks you'll like

-lets you paint his fingernails

-

[terrestrialnoob]

Harley crawled into the apartment. It was organized, but it looked like the occupant didn't have a lot of time for cleaning. She walked softly through it, taking it in. There were photos of her target and what had to be her family, but no friends or romantic partners. Some had a pair of older adults, matching traits meant bio-parents. More of the photos were of the target and a younger boy - a little brother, the highest likelihood of becoming another target if things go bad.

Harley continued forward, following the light to where her target was. She stood in the doorway, looking in.

Dr. Jasmine Fenton, Arkham Asylum's newest psychologist, just got her degree and everything. She did what most newbies do, actually thinking she could get through to the Joker. Harley didn't want to say it was impossible, but everyone who tried ended up in a new job or dead. Harley would try and make sure it was the former and not the later.

Harley watched as the redhead read over a file as she ate from a takeout box. She didn't want to scare the girl, yet. The scaring her away from Joker came later. So, she had to wait for the perfect moment to-

"I know you're there." Jasmine didn't look up from her file, but held out the last box of Chinese food in Harley's direction. "There's plenty if you want some."

"Awe, you ruined the surprise." Harley walked out of the shadows of the hallway into the girl's home office. She snatched the offered box of food and took a few bites as she jumped to sit on the desk.

"I'm hard to sneak up on." Jasmine said, closing her file and finally looking at Harley. "So, Dr. Quinzel, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this evening?"

"Oh, call me Harley!" She laughed, she wasn't called Dr. all that often any more. She tapped her chop sticks on the file Jasmine just closed. "I thought you'd like a consult on your new patient, Dr. Fenton. I've got a lot of experience with him."

"I prefer to go by Jazz." She said with a smile, "While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to see how far I can get on my own. And, sorry, but I'm pretty sure your license was revoked."

Harley nodded as she swallowed to get the noodles out of her mouth. "I get it! You're new, fresh outta school, gotta prove yourself. But Joker ain't the guy to do that with. He eats people like us for breakfast, and in all the years he's been in Arkham, no one's been able to get anywhere with him."

Jazz sighed, "I don't like to believe people are lost causes. There's always something we can do to help."

"You can't help everyone, especially when they don't want it. And it's not just a question if whether or not he can be saved or whatever." Harley set down the now empty box, Jazz pointed to another one that still had food in it, but Harley declined. "If you keep it up, he'll think you're worth his time to torment. There's no telling what he'll do when he inevitably gets himself out again."

"I'll be fine." Jazz said, but Harley had to cut her off before she said something stupid.

"It's not just you! You've got family out there he can target, your parents. Your Brother! Anyone you date will become a target! He'll do everything in his power to make your life miserable!"

Jazz chuckled. "If he wants to target my family, his funeral. My parents are - were supervillains. They've really only become less- well, hyper-focused on eradicating an entire race of being- in the past few years. And my brother - I'm pretty sure he's conditionally immortal. So that's nothing to worry about."

"If it's conditional, Joker will find a way around it." Harley said, but she had to admit, this might have been an unnecessary trip. "You sure y'ain't got nothing to worry about? What about you? How conditional is your mortality?"

Jazz smiled. Her mouth seemed too wide and with too many teeth. "Oh, I am nowhere near immortal. But..."

She stood up and the room was suddenly a black void. Toxic green eyes and mouths filled with glowing white teeth opened around them. "I doubt anyone could get close enough to test it."

The room was suddenly back to normal, but whatever that thing was was still there. Harley could see its eyes watching her with amusement from inside Jazz's oversized cardigan.

"Well, I guess this really was a wasted trip. You've clearly got it covered."

"Not entirely." Jazz said, her hand wend up to her neck to rub nervously, "Well, you see... I don't really have a lot of friends. People tend to get - uh, creeped out, you know? Or chased off by my parents or brother or whatever..."

"You wanna be friends?" Harley laughed so hard she almost fell over.

Jazz's face turned bright red and the shadow eyes looked way less amused. "Yeah, stupid question. You've clearly got your own things going on."

"No! No, no." Harley had to take several deep breaths before she could look Jazz in the face again. "I 100% wanna hang out with you!"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." She took another deep breath, "I mean, I really should have made a support system before trying to take on the Joker back when I worked for Arkham. This" she pointed between them "can only end well."

Jazz's face turned brighter than the sun. "Oh my gosh! This is amazing! We should - I have Thursday's and weekends off - What - what kind of things should we-"

Oh man, Jazz was like an excited kid. She must have had a really lonely childhood... they can psychoanalyze each other later. "Come over for girl's night next week. I'll tell my gf and bff to expect an extra person... Does the-" she motioned to the cardigan creature "-go everywhere you go? Does it need food?"

"Oh, don't worry about Jet, they only eat who I tell them to."

Harley barked out more laughter. "You're going to fit right in!"

Now featuring a Part 2

[psych0fatal3]

Homcipher characters reaction to a clingy MC [SFW]

Characters - Mr Crawling, Mr Silvair, Mr Gap, Mr Chopped, Mr Scarletella, Mr Hood, Mr Machete, Mr Stitch, Mr Big face

Authors Note - I haven't slept and I'm just finishing this at 07:10 AM Requests - Open !

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☆ Mr Crawling

He is OVER THE MOON. His love language is deffo Physical touch (Along with quality time imo) so he is 100% fine with it. He loves hugging you, holding your hand, patting your head and if you wanna do that to him he's overjoyed by it! He hates being away from you so the fact you don't wanna leave him makes him feel so soft and squishy inside.

☆ Mr Silvair

Now... Personally... Imho... He either thinks you're entertaining and will just constantly play with your emotions OR He gets irritated and ends up killing you... Hard to tell.

☆ Mr Gap

He watches as you constantly poke your head into gaps, vents, bags etc looking for him and will investigate on why you're doing that. Once he finds out you're clingy he gets annoyed. (He secretly loves it though he's cocky asf) He's shocked asf if you try hugging or kissing him, probably just goes completely still like a deer in headlights.

☆ Mr Chopped

Listen... as long as you take him where he wants to go, protect him and keep quiet at time he's fine with it. He likes laying on your chest with a blanket wrapped around him while you play with his hair.

He enjoys having a servant.

☆Mr Scarletella

He is absolutely, entirely, insanely infatuated with you so to know you're clingy and wanna be near him just makes me go absolutely insane inside. He'll tell you that he loves you all day, hug you (in his own way), watch you sleep and will just stare at you 24/7 He loves being with you, he needs your love and affection cause without it he's empty inside.

☆ Mr Hood

Honestly kind of loves it. He enjoys having someone to protect and take care of. He'll wrap his cloak around you to keep you safe and warm. He likes receiving hugs and kisses on his hood and will try return the favour. (that's one awkward kiss)

☆ Mr Machete

He despises it. He'll just throw you across the room to get you to leave him alone or will insult you, attack you etc etc...

Sometimes he thinks you're saying you want to fight him and will just attack you... But hey if you've proven yourself to him he's okay with it on the odd occasion.

☆ Mr Stitch

He gets annoyed at times, like he doesn't mind it but sometimes it just really gets on his nerves.

I mean hey he gets someone to play with so he puts up with it.

☆ Mr Huge face

He thinks you're the cutest little pet ever! he'll lift you up, carry you around, give you presents (odd presents) and will take care of you forever and ever! He's massive compared to you but hey you're perfect for eachother.

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