#choosing only five albums was so hard!

[amoralnerd]

Tagged by @emspooky thank you 💙

Rules: list your top 5 albums from your top 5 artists (can't have a repeat of the same artist) on a poll, so your followers can vote which album they think captures your vibe the best

Tagging @anticakitharadoro @tenitchyfingers (no pressure) and everyone else who wants to do it <3

[tojisun]

sugar, spice, everything on ice (hockey au)

hockey player simon riley x f!reader’s relationship, through the eyes of the fans // sort of smau

i was listening to 5sos’ slsp while writing this so!!! sorry i went bonkers 😔 i just love this au sm

simon riley is obsessed with his girl, and it is maddeningly endearing.

of course he’s in love with you, everyone could see even from a continent away, but there is something clingy, possessive, in the way simon hovers around you. like you’d disappear right before his eyes if he wasn’t pressed close; if his tattooed arm wasn’t looped around your waist or his thick fingers were not twined with yours.

it is new, unheard of, even riley’s loyal fans says so, but it’s just so—

nice.

(the word is inadequate, they know, but there’s nothing close that could describe how heart-fluttering his devotion to you is.)

riley has always been a private person, sharing only sparse details of his life. one can even easily locate his earliest instagram post because there’s just about twenty uploads in his account since its creation—from 2017, and it’s a broken hockey stick. even that throw-away picture continues to amass likes as new fans come scouring whatever of him they can find.

his latest post was during last season’s finals’ celebrations—a series of pictures of the boys carrying the stanley cup. the first few pictures were all professionally taken, but the rest splinters into blurred shots of mactavish and garrick, particularly, drinking from the cup from inside of the locker room.

it said: thank you all.

curt, direct, but not any less meaningful.

cut to this year, mid-regular season (january), and after five months of drought, the simon riley posted a picture. and it wasn’t just any picture, but it was a hard launch of his new partner.

it was a selfie, taken by you, the camera angled just slightly. your back was pressed to his chest, and his chin was hooked to your shoulder, and, cheek-to-cheek, the two of you grin up at the camera. the background was distinctly new york, central park, so it must have been taken after the specgru’s game against the rangers (0-4 for the specgru).

for the caption, he wrote: she’s never been here before.

in an instant, all of the speculations were confirmed—the most eligible bachelor of the franchise is, finally, in an official relationship.

news articles popped up after that, speculations bloating at the shocking news. some people have even said that they’re sure they’ve seen you prior to the announcement—weren’t you that one fan simon riley was flirting with while he was on ice, mid-game?

(you were.

you were even one of the people that was tagged in johnny’s story before it got preemptively taken down; and the same person seen with the other WAGs, sprinkles of your silhouette seen on pictures like the ones that are taken on the days when the franchise flies them for game nights or the countless ones during the unveiling of the season’s WAGs jackets.

you have been a part of their circle even before the world knew who you were and, somehow, that was comforting; how simon riley had not thrown you to the wolves—or vultures, as mactavish snarled when they’ve hounded him about his fiancee’s abrupt end of her season in the FIVB, like her health wasn’t the priority over her career—and instead made sure you were surrounded by people who knew how to survive amidst the scrutiny.)

and, just like that, the dam called simon-riley’s-secret-album-of-you broke.

what had been a sporadic activity in his account exploded into series of posts, one update every week. it was a whirlwind of excitement because no one from the hockey world has ever seen this much of simon riley’s life.

he was always unapproachable, distant, like there’s always a wall between him and the rest of the world. like in exchange of being called the living legend, the guiding star, simon riley gets to shirk away from the public whenever he chooses. and who can fault him for that? riley’s career has always been heavily documented—people knew him even before he was drafted into the league, they had betted on his rookie year, and then had put him in a lonely pedestal. so of course he is fiercely protective of his privacy.

only a select few get to truly know him, only a select few have stories of simon that isn’t about the ice or hockey or his in-the-works legacy. only a select few see him beyond his crown, and now he’s giving a piece of his true self to the world because of you.

because you are worth showing off.

because life with you is worth celebrating.

.

riley41

[it’s a candid image of you standing on the balcony, wearing a too-big of a shirt that is getting ruffled by the wind and pyjama pants, and leaning over the railing as you stare at the scenery. you’re all silhouette because your body is devoured by the orange rays of the sunrise, its tendrils spilling into the wooden floors of the hotel room.]

liked by jmactavish.91, reyenzo14, and others

riley41 ibiza

.

riley41

[it’s a series. the first image is of the two of you on his motorcycle, the picture taken from simon’s bike’s camera. you’re both wearing tinted helmets and leather gears, the background a blur of colours which indicates that this was taken mid-ride. you’re gripping him tightly and your body is almost fully-covered by his bulk, leaving only the top half of your helmet to be seen peering from his shoulders.

the second image is of the beach. it’s dusk, and the sky is an explosion of pinks and purples and blues.

the third image is a selfie with your visors up. you’re looking at the camera with a shy smile, your eyes squinted because of how bright it still is, while simon only has his eyes on you.]

liked by pricejhn2, alexkeller_, and others

riley41 vroom

.

riley41

[it’s a mirror selfie of the two of you, with simon taking the photo. the background is notably his house. your back is facing the mirror, your head tilted to rest on his shoulder, while his arm is curled around your waist. you’re wearing this season’s WAG jacket—it’s black and green, their colours. the pose now makes sense because you’re showing off the back of the jacket that spells out RILEY 41 in white. simon’s wearing their away-jersey.]

liked by kylegarrick, konig_76, and others

riley41 game six let’s go

.

riley41

[it’s a video; the angle shows that it is taken by someone else. you and simon are hugging, and are swaying lightly as the two of you dance to the faint sound of music booming from somewhere behind the camera. simon’s mouthing the lyrics to your ear, his cheeks flushed like he’s buzzed from drinking, while you giggle and softly rub your palm at his back.]

liked by jmactavish.91, kylegarrick, and others

riley41 my favourite person

.

.

yourname

[it’s a candid picture you’ve taken of simon sleeping while he uses your lap as pillow. the angle captures the way your fingers are playing with his hair and scratching his scalp gently. the picture is a little blurry because there’s not enough light to properly focus the lens.]

liked by riley41, jjoanne.spam, and others

yourname im the happiest when im with him

[watchmegetobsessed]

OLD GRUDGES (part 1)

A/N: wooohoooo im bringing something new!!! i feel like it happens so rarely it's like a miracle lol anyway, this will be hopefully a couple of parts (probably about 3) and lets all pray i will actually finish it lol

WORD COUNT: 3.7k

WARNING: sexual content

SUMMARY: Harry and Y/N go way back. Working together was like a dream when 1D was still going strong. Now, years later, when they end up working together again, things are very different. Mostly because Y/N seems to be hating Harry passionately. But he has not idea why.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

Everyone loves Harry Styles. It’s a known fact, not just amongst the people who actually know him, but all around the world. He is known as one of the most unproblematic celebrities, someone who gives just as much if not even more respect as he gets, always kind and patient with others, rarely loses his temper. It’s hard to imagine that there is anyone walking this planet who doesn’t see him as a lovable, sweet man.

Well, it might be hard to imagine, but there is actually one person who has a very different opinion when it comes to the british popstar. 

And that person is music producer, Y/N. 

The interesting thing is that their history goes way back into his 1D days. Y/N was an up and coming name in the industry, just started working with bigger names when she got the chance to produce several songs on the band’s third studio album. Harry remembers her as a bubbly, funny girl who is passionate about her job and is also excellent in it. Working with her was easy and motivating, she was always eager to perfect songs to an extent Harry couldn’t even imagine and that’s why songs like Story Of My Life, You & I and Midnight Memories were such hits. Y/N put her heart and soul into them, which eventually earned all the recognition they deserved. 

Harry loved working with Y/N and she was in talks of working on their fourth album as well, but the deal ended up ditched and she went on to do other projects and they somehow had a fallout. It was a shame, but he hoped his path would cross hers again. 

Years and years went by and so much changed by the time their professional ways finally met again. Jeff brought her name up when Harry just started writing for his fourth solo album and Harry gave him the go to do whatever it takes to get her on the project. A few weeks passed and Harry didn’t get any confirmation about her and just when he was about to bring it up to Jeff, he hit him with the news.

“Y/N is in for five songs. Contract should be signed by Wednesday and you can start working next week.”

Harry wondered why it took so long to get her on board, but he brushed it off because he knew she was a big name now herself and had plenty of offers from which she could choose from. He was excited to work with her and simply see her again.

It was utter shock for him when she was the complete opposite of what he remembered. Okay, that might be an overstatement, but Harry could feel something was off instantly.

She was still bubbly and fun, but for some reason, she had a certain iciness and bitter attitude whenever her focus was on Harry. To anyone else it was unnoticable, Harry knows, because he asked Jeff about it.

“What are you talking about? She is awesome,” the manager said with a shrug and Harry tried to tell himself it was all in his head, because if Jeff doesn’t see it, it’s not real.

But it kept happening and it felt even stronger when it was just him and her in a room. Sometimes she even pretended like he wasn’t there, sometimes her snarky comments were all he got and they just strengthened him in his belief. 

He wanted to ask her about it, he tried, several times, but his attempts just bounced right off her icy behavior so eventually, he gave up and there was only one thing left for him to do.

Return what he was getting. 

Yes, it is childish, but he felt like he needed to deal with her unreasonable hatred towards him somehow and this was the easiest way. Was it a smart idea to practically become enemies when working together on his album? Of course not. But it just happened.

And going against each other became their thing. 

They were great in arguing, disagreeing even when they could easily compromise, riling each other up and lashing out on each other when the tension had been building up for hours. It got to the point where others started to notice that something was off between the two of them and when Jeff questioned Harry about it, he couldn’t give him a reasonable explanation.

“She started it,” he said and instantly felt like a kid, telling on his classmate at school. But this is all he could say, because he had no idea why she was acting this way. And he has to live with it while they work together.

Something is off. Harry knows it. Something about the melody… or the guitar… or is it the lyrics? He can’t tell, he has listened to the recording a million times so it all melts in his ears and he can’t identify what’s setting him off every time he hears it. 

“Why don’t we take a break?” Jack, the technician suggests, turning in his chair. “Y/N will be here in twenty, I’m sure she’ll–”

“Okay,” Harry snaps, just so he doesn’t finish. He knows what he wanted to say. 

She’ll know what’s wrong and will correct it in a second.

Y/N always knows what’s wrong and most of the time it’s a perk, of course it is, but today, Harry feels like it’s gonna make him want to crawl out of his body. Maybe it’s because he’s been in the studio for five hours and he got nowhere or maybe because Mitch will have his first ever solo gig tonight and Harry has been worried his fame or relation to him might ruin this experience for him. 

Either way, today he is just extra pissed by the fact that Y/N will be the one to solve this mystery. 

“I’m gonna grab a coffee,” he clears his throat, standing up from his seat. “Do you want one?” he offers, feeling a bit guilty he snapped at Jack.

“Uh, yeah, just an espresso is fine, thanks man.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Putting on his headphone, Harry jogs across the street to the tiny coffee shop he’s been a regular at. He likes the place because they are discreet and their coffee is just simply amazing, though they swear there’s nothing extra in it. 

He waits for the two coffees at the end of the counter and scrolls on his phone in the meantime. Emails, messages, there’s always something to answer to. He sends out a few replies before he ends up in his calendar. It’s neatly color coded and he takes pride in keeping it up-to-date all the time so he can always be on top of his game, no matter what. 

His eyes land on one particular date. Five weeks from now Y/N’s contract expires and if the five songs are done by then, she’ll be out of Harry’s life again. Seeing how the work is going, she’ll easily outdo that number so there won’t be any reason for talk about an extension. 

An unsettling feeling spreads in his stomach as he stares at the date but he doesn’t have time to figure it out because  he is snapped out of his thoughts when the two paper cups are placed in front of him. He is trying his best to keep a positive mindset as he returns to the studio’s building. With the two coffee cups in his hands he makes a right turn and then stops at the door, seeing Y/N sitting where he did previously, already listening to the recording with Jack with a critical expression on her face. 

Harry doesn’t interrupt them, just stays put and waits for her feedback. When she is done listening, she leans back in her seat.

“It’s the bass. Or more specifically the lack of it. Can you double it? Let’s see how it changes.”

Jack is quick to do as she asked and then he starts the song again and…

Harry wants to scream and laugh in bliss at the same time, because it’s perfect now. He’s mad he couldn’t spot such an obvious thing, but he is also happy it’s finally sorted out. It’s just a shame Y/N was the one to do it and not him. 

“Great, so this is done then,” he makes himself noticed as he walks into the studio and hands over one of the cups to Jack. 

When he looks at Y/N he can see that familiar, irritated look on her face that’s almost always there when he’s around. He hasn’t decided if he wants to physically wipe it off, or…

“Thanks for bringing one for me,” she comments in a bored tone, turning back towards the screen.

“You weren’t here when I went out.”

“But you knew I was coming.”

Harry opens his mouth, but then closes it, because this time she is kind of right. And it irks him even more today.

It’s gonna be a challenging session today, Harry thinks as he takes a seat.

It’s always exciting for Harry to be behind the stage when he’s not the star of the show. Kind of like a whole different world.

He hasn’t been here for long, but he’s been trying his best to stay as unnoticed as possible and let Mitch take the spotlight. Just a few minutes ago Sarah put him on Scout-duty which he gladly took up on, he’s always happy to spend time with the little guy. This time he is letting him explore freely and he’s just following him around to make sure he’s safe. Scout seemingly enjoys the adventure with uncle Harry, who doesn’t really pay attention where he is heading. 

That’s how they end up in the green room where Y/N is.

Y/N and Sarah have worked together a while ago, which is a random coincidence how they are connected outside of Harry. Because of their history, Y/N is often where they are, however she was never around when Sarah and Mitch were playing for Harry. 

Scout runs up to Y/N, arms in the air, asking to be picked up and Harry stops a few steps away from them when he realizes who he just found.

“Hey there, little guy! Are you all by yourself?” Y/N asks, settling the boy on her hip.

She’s changed since they parted ways in the studio. Harry has always admired her sense of style, which mostly consists of basic pieces, almost like a capsule wardrobe, but there’s always something extra, something vibrant on her that makes her sets interesting. Tonight she is wearing a simple black dress with a rather low back cut, simple heels, simple makeup, but she added a silky scarf with vivid colors and shapes around her neck that brings Harry’s attention to the curve of her neck and collarbones, almost as a cheeky invitation for his eyes to her naked skin. 

He has to fight the urge to touch her.

Despite the spiteful relationship they’ve been sporting lately, Harry had to deal with a rather unreasonable desire for Y/N in a physical way.

Unreasonable, because he never thought he could be attracted to someone who pisses him off so easily, yet there’s been plenty of occasions when Harry found himself imagining scenarios he could never admit to her, not when she hates him with such obvious passion.

Tonight it’s not just the outfit, but also the way she’s handling Scout. It’s not just women who find it incredibly hot when the opposite sex is great with kids, Harry can definitely feel something inside him moving as he watches Y/N sway from side to side with the little boy in his arms.

“Uncle Hazza is here!” Scout points at him, answering her previous question. Y/N looks up and because Harry was already looking at him, he catches a slipping moment where there’s no irritation on her face, but it returns quite fast when her gaze settles on him. 

“Ah, hi,” she says, lips pressed together as she nods, acknowledging his presence. 

“Hey. Long time no see.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it. Who says that? Why did he even say anything else other than hi? He smacks himself in his mind. 

Part of him expects her to say something like ‘not long enough’ but she just keeps quiet and turns all her attention to Scout. Harry feels out of place, he is supposed to be babysitting, but Y/N is taking care of Scout, Harry knows he is in good hands but Sarah asked him to watch over him. Should he leave? Or just keep standing there awkwardly?

“You can go, I’ll watch him,” Y/N says, as if she could read his mind. 

“You sure?”

“I’m pretty sure I can take care of him until Sarah is back.” Her reply is not just dry, kind of offended, nothing Harry wouldn’t expect from her, but it’s still irking him.

“I didn’t say you’re not capable, I just–”

“I’m not in the mood for this,” she cuts him off with an icy look. Harry is too stunned to reply, just watches Y/N walk away with Scout. 

He almost finds it amusing how easily she can piss him off, not many people have been able to do that, in fact, Harry thinks she does it the best. 

Clenching his jaw he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and then just lets it all go. 

The after party is always kind of Harry’s favorite. The stress is over, it’s just the relief and celebration that is left.

Mitch’s show went well, that’s what Harry expected, but it’s still great he was right. Seeing his friend be the star of the show was an experience he is glad he could be part of. Now that the core of the group has moved to a nearby bar, Harry has loosened up thanks to the couple of drinks he’s had. 

He’s been mostly sticking to the familiar faces he knows, rotating between the same few people  while enjoying how under the radar he is currently. 

The more drinks he has had, the less he’s been able to control where his gaze goes. To be exact, he’s been finding himself looking Y/N’s way the past hour or so. That damn dress and scarf, it’s like she’s put a spell on him that forces him to keep wanting to look at her. 

Harry is not experienced with feeling like this. Being attracted to someone who he hates, it’s such an ambivalent impulse, he can’t think straight. Or maybe it’s the amount of tequila he has drunk tonight, either way, it’s getting a rise out of him. 

From the corner of his eye he sees her slip out to the back where the smoking area is, he hesitates, shifts his weight from one leg to the other before making the leap and heading after her. He has no plan, no idea what he wants to ro will say to her, but he just feels like he has to talk to her.

Stepping out to the dimly lit back alley he is met with a few people scattered around, having a cigarette with drinks in hand, talking or scrolling on their phone and then he spots Y/N on the left, standing by the wall, cigarette in one hand, the remaining of her drink in the other as she stares ahead of her. 

She doesn’t smoke regularly, but she does enjoy one in certain social settings or when she’s had a few drinks. Harry knows it from years ago, because they shared a cigarette at a party, back then she seemed thrilled to spend time with him, he remembers all the conversations they had while working together, telling each other stories, sharing their plans, Harry truly thought they would remain good friends on this extraordinary journey, yet they ended up here.

As Harry walks towards her, she notices him and he sees her lips twitch in annoyance. 

“Care if I join?” he asks and she just shrugs without a word, avoiding to look at him. 

They stand there in silence for a while, she is lazily puffing the smoke out from time to time.

“Is it still just an occasional thing?” he tries to strike up a conversation.

“Mhm,” is all he gets as a reply.

“Have you tried to put it down fully?”

“Why are you doing this?” she snaps at him, finally looking his way. 

“What?”

“Why are you trying to chit-chat when we both know we don’t do that?”

“And why don’t we?” He challenges her. “Tell me why we are like this in the first place, because I have no idea.”

She stares at him for long moments and he awaits her answer like nothing before, but then she shakes her head and turns to the pin beside her, puts the cigarette out and flicks it into the bin. Then, without another word she is already heading back inside.

It takes a moment for Harry to start moving again, but he is quick to catch up with her in the hall that leads to the restrooms. 

“Y/N, give me a fucking answer!” he demands, grabbing her wrist to pull her back before she could escape, but she shakes his hand off as she comes to a stop, turning towards him.

“I owe you nothing!” she hisses at him. “I owe you no one, but especially you!”

“What the fuck does that suppose to mean?! I never thought you owe me anything!”

“I’m not doing this, Harry, leave me the fuck alone,” she growls and tries to leave, but Harry pulls her back again, determined to get an answer this time. 

“Don’t think I will just swallow everything down forever. I will get to the bottom of this, whether you like it or not. It’s your choice if you make it hard on both of us.”

She is looking back at him with wide eyes, this time his hand remains on her arm as they stare each other down in the empty hallway. Neither of them knows what will be their next move, the tension is so thick, it’s almost suffocating.

But then it all changes.

If someone asked who moved first, they wouldn’t know. One moment they are standing like stone statues, barely even breathing, then the next moment they are kissing like there’s no tomorrow.

It doesn’t take long until Harry has her pressed up against the wall, his hands roaming her body, feeling her up the way he fantasized about before, they are both rough and impatient, she is clawing at him, moaning into his mouth when his hips press against hers and she feels how hard he’s gotten already. 

Blindly, Harry pushes the closest door open which happens to be the staff’s bathroom that someone left unlocked, lucky for them. Still glued together they stumble inside, Y/N kicks the door open before Harry pushes her against it and he locks it before his hand returns to her tempting body. 

He has never acted like this when it comes to sex. He does like to spice things up sometimes, but the way he’s biting her lips or unbuttoning his pants or reaches under her dress to pull her underwear down is just so out of character for him, yet so freeing. 

Nothing is said, but when her hands pull his hard, leaking dick out of his pants, there’s a fleeting look they exchange that says it all, just how much they both want it. 

It’s the fastest pace he’s ever experienced, yet the most passionate too. They moan at the same time when Harry pushes into her and starts moving in a rush, desperate for relief. She’s panting and whining for more, the only form of speaking she is able to as she holds onto Harry who is focused on keeping up his quick and steady pace while holding her left leg up to ensure the perfect angle. 

The animalistic need is there for them both, making them act like this is what they must do to stay alive. It’s messy, fast and mind-blowing and they don’t need much time to reach the peak. As she comes her nails dig into her shoulder and she bites into his bottom lip so harshly it draws blood, but he doesn’t care, only follows her into bliss just a second later. With the last bit of his consciousness Harry pulls out right before he comes, covering her thigh with the white, sticky evidence of just how much he enjoyed the past minutes. 

They are breathing heavily and Harry feels like a thick haze is still lingering around his head, stopping him from realizing what just happened. Y/N however is ahead of him and when reality comes crashing down on her, her instinct to flee kicks right in. Harry is still trying to clear his mind when she grabs a paper towel and cleans herself up as fast as possible and Harry only snaps out of his trance when she is already unlocking the door.

“Y/N, what the— wait!” He can’t go after her as she slips out of the room because he is still pretty indecent, so he has to pull his pants up and can only rush out then, but by that time she is already gone.

He’s quite frantic as he tries to find her in the bar, but she is nowhere to be seen. Harry returns to the rest of their group, hoping to catch her somewhere but she has vanished into thin air. 

“Hey, have you seen Y/N?” he asks Mitch, his eyes still roaming the place.

“Nah, haven’t seen her since she went out to smoke.”

Harry groans and makes his way outside, maybe she’s there waiting for a car, but as he steps out to the street he sees no trace of her. Fishing his phone out of his pocket he doesn’t hesitate before dialing her number. The line rings once, twice and then… it goes to voicemail.

“Hey, this is Y/N. Do whatever you want after the beep.”

“Fuck!” Harry ends the call and he has to stop himself from throwing it against the nearest wall. 

This is not how he planned. Well, he didn’t plan any of it, especially not fucking Y/N like a horny teenager. He wanted to solve this whole issue between the two of them but instead he just created another one.

A stupid, giant one. 

NEXT PART

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[aylasology]

rockstar!Robin x reader

(reader is fem)

summary : Oh to be in a rockstar's arms...

warnings : mentions of smoking, drinking, cocaine, SMUT SMUT SMUTTTT

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

• You were sure you had it all figured out, a nice apartment in New York city with your best friends, a stable job, the perfect new yorker life you've been wanting the minute you stepped out your parents's home...

• until, of course, you stepped into a record store. An album and a band catching your attention.

• Take Back The Night - Hellfire

• It wasn't really the name of the band that caught your attention, there were worse names, it wasn't exactly the genre either. It was the girl standing in the front, all tall and lean. Short blonde hair teased up to the nines and bangs that draped like curtains over her blue eyes. Her arms slung on two of her members, one with long curly hair that looked like Kirk Hammett's curls, and one with much shorter hair.

• One vinyl turns into three, which then shifts to five more of the same record in different colors. You were obsessed with their music, more so on the lead singer.

• You soon learn the names of the band members and their respective roles. Robin Buckley on vocals, Eddie Munson on guitar, Steve Harrington on bass, and Dustin Henderson on drums.

• You find out that you're roommate/best friend, is covering an article on Hellfire. Getting backstage passes and two tickets to some band they're opening for.

• Of course you beg him to give you the other ticket and the extra backstage pass.

• For some odd reason you choose to go for a rather revealing look - Long leather boots, a tight red dress, and a leather jacket over it.

• It wasn't hard to keep your eyes on Robin. Wearing flare jeans, a tank top and her heartshaped glasses - a staple in her clothes.

• After the concert, you follow your best friend backstage and into Hellfire's dressing room.

• She couldn't pull her eyes away from you. How sweet and innocent you looked in your little outfit, an innocence she wanted to ruin.

• "And who's this pretty little thing?"

• She invites you to a party of theirs the minute your friend finishes his interview with them. Of course you say yes.

• The party was crowded, filled with musicians and the like. She liked having you around, making sure you were attached to her at all times.

• She definitely gropes your ass while dancing with you omgomgomgomg

• She didn't take it very well when someone pulls you away from her gaze. Some artist chatting away with you. The way her teeth clenched when a giggle erupted from your lips. She wanted that sound to come out because of her and her only.

• She pulls you into her bedroom, pinning you by the frame of the door.

• "You think you can just smile and act cute around some guy? Don't forget why you're here pretty girl."

• She kissed you powerfully, heat boiling up from your core. You moaned into it, she smirked.

• "Good girl..."

• And as much as you needed her to touch you, she pulls away. Opening the door and walking right out.

• You came home that night, lying to your friend that you had gone to a bar.

• And the days pass by so easily, getting free tickets to every gig, going to parties every single night, gaining sweet make out sessions with Robin anywhere and everywhere she wanted to have you.

• It was the 1970s of course, which meant she kissed you in bathrooms, dressing rooms, and bedrooms.

• The first time she touches you, it's after recording their next studio album, you being propped up against the desk. Hands gripped against the equipment as her fingers worked her magic on you.

• "Such a pretty little princess,"

• It's rushed, it's eager, it's hot, it leaves you satisfied right after.

• Right after that, she lets you stay over her apartment for the night

• Of course the second, and the third, and the fourth time she touches you happens there 👁️👁️

• Her touch is sweet, giving, and fucking needy.

• And the way your eyes glint and the way you beg? Gets her so turned on every time.

• But the moment you actually moan? You're just begging for it by then.

• "All this for me? Such a dirty slut..."

• "What was that honey? Use those pretty little lips of yours f'me..."

• She definitely likes sniffing cocaine on your belly, licking the skin once she's finished.

• She'd get on top of you right after, hips straddled on yours as she kissed you. Pushing her tongue in your mouth, letting the taste land on your tongue.

[wlntrsldler]

well now that you let the angst monster peek out… can we have a luke and five star argument that happens while she’s visiting that leaves everyone tense and forcing them to make up, or smth along those lines?? i need more of their angst it’s too good 😁🙏

song: i choose you by kiana lede

"what do you want me to do, five star?" luke asked, trailing behind you. you both just entered the concert venue for their second album's listening session. the event was starting in a few hours and it was a struggle to sneak in through the back without any of the fans noticing you.

"do not call me that right now," you hissed, marching over to the back exit.

"fuck, are you serious? can you just-- stop walking so fast!" luke picked up his pace and planted his feet in front of you. he looked at you in disbelief as you crossed your arms over your chest with your lips in a pout. you tried to look at anything but him. "what do you want me to do, huh? you don't want people to know about us, which is fine! i'm good with that, but i can't control what people say about me. i can't control that they're speculating things. you know they're not true!"

you were being stubborn. you knew this. it wasn't luke's fault that someone named him as their celebrity crush and that the poisoned mercury fans were shipping them now. it wasn't his fault that your tiktok page was just edits of your boyfriend and the gorgeous, beautiful, singer. she didn't know luke was in a relationship. she didn't even know you existed.

outside of yours and luke's immediate circles, nobody knew. the long-distance thing was a blessing in disguise while you two hid your relationship from the public. no paparazzi pictures. no fan sightings.

"i don't know, okay?" you groaned, rubbing your face with your hands. "i don't know what i want right now."

"it looks like you wanna leave," luke clenched his jaw, gesturing to the door you were racing towards. "is that what you wanna do?"

you looked at him, hard and cold, "maybe i do."

luke scoffed, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue, trying to hide the hurt in his face. he shook his head, an empty smile appearing on his lips, "fine. go, then."

around the corner, the boys and clarisse watched in silence. they were startled by the sound of you and luke arguing. you weren't yelling at each other, but the tone of your voices were rough. they'd never heard you guys like this before.

you and luke always spoke in hushed whispers with each other. sickeningly loving voices that were reserved for each other. the boys often joked about throwing up every time you and luke shared a kiss in front of them, but they loved seeing the two of you in love. so seeing you guys argue was something they weren't prepared for.

sure, couples argue and they fight, they weren't stupid enough to think that you two didn't do that, but you two always seemed to work it out. neither of you have ever left each other like this.

connor turned to clarisse when you walked out of the venue, slamming the door behind you as you left the building, "well, shit."

"what do we do?" travis questioned, panic in his eyes. "we have a gig in a few and luke is supposed to be singing these love songs he wrote about the girl who just left."

"dude. that's the last thing that should be on your mind," chris smacked him on the arm, "they just got in a fight."

"come on, it's luke and y/n. they're not gonna break up," he replied nonchalantly, "they're meant to be. i'm not worried about them."

"i am," clarisse mumbled. the boys all turned to look at her. "i-i've never seen her like this."

the boys were close, of course, they were, but they didn't always talk about relationships like this. they only knew about the surface-level things about your relationship because luke wasn't one to gush about the details of it. but if clarisse, who knew more about your side of the story, says that they should be worried, then maybe they should be.

before any of them could reply, luke walked by the group, grumbling and visibly upset. he collapsed on the couch with a thud and glared at them, "what?"

"are we gonna ignore the fucking elephant in the room?" travis asked, quirking an eyebrow. he motioned to the area where luke was previously standing, "what the fuck was that?"

"i'm not in the mood, stoll."

"you need to be more empathetic, bro," connor sighed, placing a hand on the older stoll's back.

"hey, none of you keep me for my empathy," travis shrugged, sitting beside luke. he nudged him with his elbow, trying to get him to crack a smile, "you keep me for my innate ability to kill it on the drums and for my humor. oh! and my killer looks, how can i forget that?"

luke snorted, letting out a dry laugh. he shoved travis playfully, easing his shoulders, "you're terrible."

"you guys okay?" clarisse piped in, standing beside chris. she reached for his hand to anchor her. "that seemed intense."

"i don't know," luke chewed on his bottom lip, "she's mad that fans are shipping me with some actress that said i was her celebrity crush, but i don't know what to do about it."

"oh, i've seen those edits," she cringed, sending luke a sad smile. "they're everywhere right now."

"clar, i don't know what i'm supposed to do here," luke was out of ideas. he propped his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. "she doesn't want people to know about us, which is fair. i get it. i'm fine with keeping it under wraps for now because i also don't want the media in my personal business and i don't wanna subject her to that. but like-- what am i supposed to do? i can't control what people make up online."

"yeah that's fair," she mused. she paused for a second. "did she ever tell you about the guy who asked her out to his frat formal?"

"yeah," luke mumbled, "la rue, if your goal was to get me madder, it's working because i distinctly remember telling five star that i would fly to north carolina to punch that guy square in the jaw."

"calm down," she laughed, "but you know how you're feeling right now? that's how y/n feels, but like a hundred times more. imagine people telling you that your girlfriend would be perfect with some other guy, who probably would make more sense for her. he goes to her school, he's attractive-- their relationship would make sense."

"y/n has to deal with having to share you with the world, luke. and it's not your fault and she wouldn't trade what you guys have for anything, but having to see people talk about her boyfriend being perfect with someone else? i dunno," she shrugged, looking at chris. chris held her hand tighter. she turned to luke again, "i would probably react the same way as her."

"oh," luke conceded. "just curious, what was the guy's name?"

"y/n didn't even bother getting his name," clarisse said. "she just said no and walked away. then she called you because she missed you."

"get your ass up and get your girl, castellan," travis pushed luke off the couch.

luke didn't need to be told twice. he opened the door, craning his head left and right to look for you. he saw you leaning against the wall, a familiar device in your hand. you exhaled, smoke escaping your parted lips, walking over to him.

luke met you halfway, pulling you to his body when he got close enough. he placed a kiss on the crown of your head, "don't like it when we fight."

"i don't either," you mumbled, gripping him tightly, "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"you know there's nobody else for me, yeah?"

"no, i know," you pulled away from him a tiny bit, but luke wasn't having it. he wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you from taking a step back. you looked up at him, feeling vulnerable, "it's just getting to me, i think. it's hard to be unphased when everyone wants your boyfriend."

"fuck everyone else," luke hummed, placing a soft kiss on your lips. your lips molded together perfectly. "want you. only you. next time you're feeling this way, tell me, okay? i can think of so many better ways than fighting to reassure you of how i feel."

you giggled, trailing kisses on his jawline, "i can think of a few ways right now."

he pulled out his phone, turning to face you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "we got a three hours. how many ways do you think we can do?"

--

"so this song is not on the album," luke started, taking his mic off the stand. the crew rushed over to switch to the acoustic set. his eyes found yours in the small crowd. you furrowed your eyebrows in a questioning manner. "but we wanted to give you guys a surprise song at this listening session."

travis got situated on his acoustic drum set, sending luke a thumbs up. the rest of the boys sat on the stools in front of the crowd. cheers erupted from the group you and clarisse sat with, all buzzing with excitement that they were getting an unreleased song.

"i wrote this song a few weeks ago and we haven't gotten the chance to record it so it may be rough," luke laughed into the mic, eyes not leaving yours. "but i wrote this song about a girl that i met last summer. and... well, i'll let the song speak for itself. this is 'i choose you.' hope you like it."

[lisaiese]

lyrics in EPIC: the musical that changed my life trajectory

I don't know if it is the fact that I spent five years of high school studying Latin and Greek classics that makes me do this, but here I am writing a long ass tumblr post about some lyrics from the songs of a musical based on The Odyssey, the Homeric epic poem.

Enough chit chat, let's start from the lyrics in the first very song of the musical, 'The Horse and The Infant' from The Troy Saga:

The blood on your hands is something you won't lose All you can choose is whose

UGH so good already! Here we have Zeus speaking at the end of the song, basically telling Odysseus that killing in war is his duty as a man and a hero. This obviously kind of sounds like bullshit for us, but we have to understand the ancient culture behind it: in ancient Greece going to war was a symbol of honor. Think of the scene where Hector and Andromache met again, Hector really embodied the "I know that I probably won't come back to you and to our son (opsie), but I have to go"

Andromache said: “Dearest, your own great strength will be your death, and you have no pity on your little son, nor on me, ill-starred, who soon must be your widow…Please take pity upon me then, stay here on the rampart, that you may not leave your child an orphan, your wife a widow.” Hector responded: “All these things are in my mind also, lady; yet I would feel deep shame before the Trojans, and the Trojan women with trailing garments, if like a coward I were to shrink aside from the fighting.”

A key word is shame: many times my professor told us students about the 'shame culture' in ancient Greece, which Hector clearly refers to here. Therefore, it's either honor or shame: for the Greek dying in war was better than living like a coward. Through these lyrics - and also the next song of the album ('Just a Man') - we can notice how the characterization of Odysseus is different from that of heroes like Hector and Achilles: he seems more human. After all, it is no coincidence that he is characterized not only by physical strength but above all by intelligence: he is a 'Warrior of the Mind' (quoting one of the most iconic songs of the musical). In the first verse of The Odyssey, Homer calls Odysseus πολύτροπος, a term that literally means "of many turns" and can be translated as multifaceted, versatile, cunning.

Next lyrics are from 'Remember Them' from The Cyclops Saga:

What good would killing do? When mercy is a skill More of this world could learn to use

I chose these lyrics for two reason:

they are so well connected with the first ones and show how Odysseus still has his morality here (you have a long way my friend)

it is such a good phrase honestly, let's appreciate it

Actually, something to reflect on could be the theme of mercy, but I don't really remember a lot of information about it and I don't want to write about things I'm not so sure about. In fact, what I rememeber pretty well is mercy related to the Roman/Latin culture, in particular to the figure of Ceasar: Cicero attributes to Caesar the virtue of clementia, which is the term used in Latin to represent mercy. Apparently he is the only one who, among all the military leaders, stood out for his goodness of soul, so noble that it is not enough to simply compare him to great men, but he must be judged similar to a god («haec qui faciat, non ego eum cum summis viris comparo, sed simillimum deo iudico»). That's basically everything I can give you about the topic. I would dive into it more by talking about the musical itself, analysing how this is connected to Odysseus' relationship with his morality, but then I would really be writing an essay here and now, which would ruin the order and logic of this very long text.

Let's move on to the next lyrics from 'Ruthlessness', from The Ocean Saga, which made me gasp so hard the first I heard them:

You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great A Greek who reeks of false righteousness, that's what I have 'Cause you fight to save lives, but won't kill and don't get the job done

Speechless. Mind-blowing. The earth shook. You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great Hello??? Sorry Ulysses, but Poseidon ate. 'Cause you fight to save lives, but won't kill and don't get the job done Like, where do I even start to talk about this. Poseidon is actually throwing the naked truth in Odysseus' face! Everything so far has a logic:

Zeus tells Odysseus that he has to kill Hector's son Astynax (which he does in the end, for the sake of going home)

Odysseus spares Polyphemus (maybe because of guilt? He is just a man, afterall...)

That mercy results in a literal god (Poseidon) wanting to have vengeance: if Odysseus had been ruthless, he would have put mercy upon himself (yeah that's a direct reference to the lyrics Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves)

Now we finally arrive at my favorite saga (aaaaa): The Circe saga. Starting from some very simple lyrics, but so impactful, from the 'Puppeteer':

But this was a hell of a twist, cause we are weak to a power like this What was it? A woman

Hell yeah, a woman! Clearly, you are just a man (another reference, got you!). Ok, return to serious talk. I think most of us know that women were often portrayed as bewitchers, source of evil and misfortune, in ancient times, especially in the Greek culture. Let's think about the story of Pandora's box: it is a myth narrated by Hesiod in the poem Works and Days. According to it, the first woman on earth, named Pandora, was gifted a jar by the gods. However, led by curiosity, she opened it and, by doing so, she released sickness, death and many other unspecified evils. She then closed the jar and only one thing was left behind: Hope. This story (one of many and one of the most famous) perfeclty exemplifies how women were considered dangerous and, at the same time, powerful, as bringers of evil.

Next, from the same saga, let me present to you the best lyrics from the song 'There Are Other Ways':

There are many ways of persuasion There are many modes of control Maybe showing one act of kindness Leads to kinder sould down the road

AAAAAAA. Circe you are such *incomprehensible adjectives of praise* woman. Here Circe basically gives Odysseus' morality hope, let me explain: until now we saw how Odysseus' kind soul and his mercy led him to antagonize a god, on the other hand (in theory) killing a child opened the doors for him to return home. From these observations the only "lesson" that can be deduced is that behaving like a "monster" is better than just "being a man" (yeah I love referencing). BUT Circe kind of destroys this reasoning, proving that a good soul can take him so far... aaaand of course it's a woman who does this

Moving on: The Underworld Saga, lyrics sung by our favorite prophet Tiresias:

I see you wife with a man who is haunting A man with a trail of bodies (who?)

This song? Chills. Literal Chills. The song in itself is a forshadowing, an oracle. I chose these lyrics specifically because they forshadow Odysseus' darkest moments in the journey, by specifically pointing out what he becomes: [...] a man who is haunting A man with a trail of bodies Who? Odysseus you ask. It's you. It's you in the future, and you know why it's "no longer you" (yeah, another quoting)? Because you will have lost your morality by then. Honestly? We kind of all expected that, sorry not sorry Odysseus.

And directly connected to that we have the lyrics from 'Scylla', from The Tunder Saga (it's orange because there is no yellow):

We are the same, you and I, I

Just this one final verse, so powerful. Odysseus encountered mermaids and was merciless with them, after that he went to the lair of Scylla. They are actually the same: monsters. Or at least, Odysseus has become like her.

And now, in The Wisdom Saga, we welcome back the badass of the arena: Athena! Let's hear what she wisely says in 'Little Wolf':

One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined

It's always the women guys. Athena's appearance to help Telemachus fighting the suitors is so crucial: her words and herself gift us that ray of hope and goodness that was lacking ever since The Underworld Saga. Here she refers to Telemachus, Odysseus' son, who is called a young wolf. While at the beginning of the song the suitors were using the term "little wolf" to basically mock him, Athena changes the connotation: he is not a little wolf, he is a just a young wolf, with a good soul and heart. Even a wolf (an animal) is more good-hearted than a man, but here who actually is the animal and who is the man? Athena, a godess, knows best.

Finally, The Vengeance Saga, from which the best song (almost cried listening to it) is, of course, 'Six Hundred Strike':

After everything you've done... ...how will you sleep at night? Next to my wife...

OMG. Literally OMG. Here, at the final showdown between Odysseus and Poseidon, our hero prevails. Poseidon asks: "After everyhting you've done... how will you sleep at night?". I don't know if my interpretation is right, but this is what I think Poseidon meant with his words:

after everything you've done (and been through) to get here... how will you sleep at night? -> will the trauma spare you?

after everything you've done as you became a monster... how will you sleep at night? -> will the guilt spare you?

And Odysseus just answers with a "Next to my wife", because that's what he wanted from the very beginning, to come home, and he will achieve his goal. His story is the story of a journey: obviously, a journey back home, but most importantly, a journey of someone who is 'Just a Man' (got you again with the reference). Odysseus is just a man, a human being who has encountered countless obstacles, who has had his ups and downs, who has thrown his morality into the sea to return home. And what is this, if not life?

[slavghoul]

Interview from Upset Magazine 6/2023

Words: Steven Loftin

Like an apparition manifesting within a dense fog, it was through radio static that Swedish rockers Ghost were formed. In the kindergarten he attended as a young boy, Tobias Forge found himself enamoured with the music crackling through the little toy speakers. From this point forward, he began picking apart the notes and melodies - his journey toward the lore and canon coming into focus as he sat, trying to figure out how this black magic could be summoned.

While it would be many years before he would don his garb as Papa Emeritus, the essence of what his future would sound like was being set through his exposure to a wide variety of music. If any proof were needed, just look to the impressive list of covers Ghost have put their ghastly mark upon, including 2016's 'Popestar' EP, which included the band's takes on Echo & The Bunnymen ('Nocturnal Me') and Simian Mobile Disco ('I Believe').

Ghost's latest EP is another covers bonanza. A five-piece offering of Tobias's backstory, 'Phantomime' plays out like a Greatest Hits radio playlist - a fitting throwback to Tobias' first dalliances with music. Of course, when a group more aligned to the metal/hard rock community bust out covers, including Genesis and Tina Turner, eyebrows are raised. To this reaction, Tobias scoffs. "In 1991, Genesis was one of the biggest bands on the planet! That was a huge hit. In the mid-80s, when I had an older teenage brother who rented every VHS movie that came out, of course, we saw the fucking Thunderdome, and that was a huge hit, and it's still being played on Swedish radio. It's an evergreen; it's not an eclectic choice at all," he declares. "I grew up listening to Stranglers because my brother liked them. What else do we have, Iron Maiden - I mean, are you kidding? I'm a metalhead!"

Originally conceived during the sessions for their fifth album, last year's 'Impera', there were two folders on his computer's desktop: one named 'Impera', the other simply 'Covers'. As the ideas for 'Impera' grew, Tobias would enter his usual routine of working on a cover or two. "At any point, when you lose a little wind in writing your own things, it's quite nice to say, 'Today let's go in and work on the covers'; you can choose anything you want, you can work on absolutely anything you want. And you don't have to finish it, you don't have to release it, you don't have to do anything, but just continue working."

He likens it to the freedom of being a theatre owner who, instead of trying to pen the next greatest Broadway phenomenon, opts to have a go at something already timeless and perfected.

"Maybe you're like, 'Okay, so this fall we're just going to do a reinterpretation of Hamlet instead, that's going to be fine, and that keeps everyone working, and that keeps a project moving along! And I find a similar thing with working on covers. So as I was writing "Impera', the covers folder was also growing exponentially and at a point. I had this idea that was going to be a full-length album."

With COVID restrictions meaning the original producer for 'Impera' was stuck in the US, Tobias had to source a replacement. It would be Klas Åhlund who stepped up to the plate. But, on one condition. "He was pretty upfront. He was like. Yeah, I only want to make the record; I don't want to work on covers," Tobias remembers "Fine, fine, fine, that's fine." he shrugs. "So, after the 'Impera' recording was done, I felt as if making a completely different, whole record again: I didn't have time for that. I didn't have the energy for that. But once I trimmed down the number of songs to only these five to make a very rocky record, it loosened up the screws a little bit for me in terms of like, "Okay, so now I know what the EP is going to be - it's going to be a full, full-throttle rock one."

Ditching some rumoured softer covers, including U2, Misfits, and Motörhead. 'Phantomime is instead a delectable slice of Ghost doing what Ghost do best: creating theatrically big rock. It's Tobias's mark upon some bonafide classics, including Iron Maiden's 'Phantom of the Opera' which feels as befitting to Ghost as it does seeing Papa Emeritus kick the bucket ready for his next iteration. While the focus was on creating this small dose of Tobias's musical DNA, it also served another purpose; to simply be "not very complicated." The project began with the mindset of "we can make this recording loosely - quick but stress-free - as opposed to making a record which is your hard fifth record that needs to live up to certain standards. So it was just a very inspired, very simple recording, actually."

After the complexities of 'Impera' which wound up requiring two studios simultaneously running in parallel "to be able to work efficiently" - Ghost was morphing into a taxing experience for the band leader, "It was just a bigger thing [and] way more stressful."

Deciding to strip that covers folder down to the five tracks, by all accounts, 'Phantomime was a measured and reserved effort. "It ended up being me, an engineer, and an occasional musician coming in and doing something. It was so much looser, so much more mentally Feng Shui," he smiles, relief glowing in his voice. "And I think that that reflected a little bit on the two different records. They're meant to be related - they are definitely related - they were made roughly in the same time, but they're completely different things."

'Phantomime' plays out like a ghoulish social commentary. Starting with a searing rendition of Televison's 'See No Evil, the journey traverses the scourge of Televangelism (Genesis' Jesus He Knows Me') with a delightfully-fitting NSFW video, the instant gratification humans require to feel (The Stranglers' Hanging Around"); the pull back into cruel reality (Phantom Of The Opera"), and the resulting undying hope from a degraded society (Tina Turner's 'We Don't Need Another Hero"). Each offering is bolstered with Ghost's dramatic, theatric rock licks and Tobias's powerhouse vocals.

With 'Phantomime' in the bag and the European leg of the 'Impera' tour imminent (Tobias is currently holed up in preparation), the idea of reflecting on how he came to go from a young boy listening to the static sounds of pop hits on the radio to orchestrating not only a feverishly adored band and its lore but finding the capacity to embrace his inner music nerd, couldn't be more timely. Tobias's relationship with music has always been one of intrigue. He's a pop songwriter with the ambition and ideas of a stadium rock band, which, in essence, explains perfectly why Ghost can sit in a unique, exponentially growing and expanding space.

"My earliest inclination of wanting to transform into something else was definitely Twisted Sister," he recalls. "You know, "I Want To Rock' and 'We're Not Going To Take It' - that was a huge record in 1984, and in 1984, I was three years old," he says. "My brother was 16, so everything that was going on pop-culturally amongst teenagers was happening in my home."

It was thanks to his brother that much of Tobias's relationship with music was formed. He's introduced him to various giants of the time, like tectonic plates being pushed around, impacting and shaping his musical landscape. Translating for young Tobias the attitude of punk at the time, as well as everything else that was 'in', he remembers, "When I was a kid, and he was supposed to babysit me, as a pacifier he would put me in front of [Sex Pistols mockumentary film] 'The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle"," he laughs. "And then when that was over, he would just switch to [X-rated cartoon] Fritz the Cat. And I loved that stuff, of course. That was as much [about] the expression and the attitude. Of course, I loved the songs, but it was also filtered or combined with big songs for me." Those big songs ("Men At Work 'Down Under'," he initially cites, "those sort of songs still have a unique place in my in my writing") would eventually entwine with his darker side that he'd explore as he grew older. "Whilst my whole adolescence was completely in the name of extreme metal, I always had a very soft spot for Top 40 rock and pop radio always," Tobias explains. "And I've listened to that all my life. So it's almost equal portions of Venom as it is anything. that was on the radio."

Also, witnessing shock and glam-rock bands explode intrigued Tobias. He became swept away in the idea that not only could you push a boundary to its absolute limits with convictions and over-the-top grandiosity, but you could do so with songs that quantifiably bop. But, as time has gone onto prove, it wasn't pop music that enamoured Tobias enough that he wanted to become a pop star. It's the mythology and mystery that has become his calling card.

Tobias remained an enigma under the disguise of an evolving form of the iconic Papa Emeritus (now in his fourth incarnation) until 2017, after a lawsuit from a previous iteration of his backing band's rotating cast, the Nameless Ghouls. Visual and video components to releases are often hoovered up by the fandom, stripped apart for meaning and potential. Instagram posts are referred to as a '[Message From The Clergy]" (a phrase later claimed for 2022's Best Of playlist), and lest it is forgotten, the Ghost 'Grucifix' - the prominent crucifix deconstructed into Tobias's gothic 'G' logo - which ties together the vision, religious imagery and satire that would become a core part of the Ghost experience.

His musical ambition and education colliding in the middle of his Venn diagram between dark metal and pop magic is thanks to the likes of the aforementioned Twisted Sister and W.A.S.P., as well as his teen years in the black metal community. "Their first record was also a huge impact in Swedish media," Tobias remembers. "There was this big sort of Satanic panic thing going on at the time in the fall of 1984. Where you had essentially all those things happening. You had Mötley Crüe 'Shout At The Devil', which came out a year earlier, and they were there because they toured with Iron Maiden in 1984, so there was a lot of focus on these shock-rock bands. I saw that as a kid, and I was immediately blown away - it was the coolest thing I've ever seen. And I think that that was the trigger that made me identify as that is how I want to express myself."

Decoding the songs he'd hear also became an integral part of that expression. "That was the only thing I did for years before I started writing my own songs." Recalling his time in kindergarten, they had a piano and guitar, which Tobias became infatuated with. Instead of playing with the other children, he would find himself enraptured, listening to the radio or flipping over whichever cassette happened to be loaded at the time. He would then imitate the sounds he was soaking up. "A lot of those early beginnings of how to learn and how I've learned how to understand music filters through everything I do now," he explains.

The early records he'd find himself trying to unpack included KISS 'Alive' and Pink Floyd's 'Piper At The Gates Of Dawn' - disparate matches, but undoubtedly Ghost fuel with hard rock melodies and psychedelic tendencies. "I had the first and the second Pink Floyd on a double LP that was called 'A Nice Pair'. And that's the shit that I sat and listened to and played guitar to," he says proudly. "That's weird music, that's really weird chord sequences and melodies that sort of went nowhere. And, that coloured me a lot in my vision of this is how you write a pop song. Of course, I knew more conventional writing as well. But I figured that this resonates with me, and I want to write more like that."

Tobias is the first to admit that the influence his musical exposure has had on him isn't the most straightforward. "For all the years that I was in bands, up until Ghost, basically when I was in bands not doing well, I got a lot of, I wouldn't say stick, but it was always like, 'You write weird songs, there's something weird about them, and it will never really become anything because it has that sort of weirdness to it".

As he grew, the songs he'd heard reflected this inherent strangeness he'd constructed. Before the days of mass formulaic pop factories, the music emanating from the radio abided by the strictest rule of needing to at least be approachable, but within these confines, artists of the 70s and 80s would push the envelope as far as they could. Citing Nik Kershaw's 'The Riddle' as one example, "Holy shit, if you would have taken that song and taken it to a chord structure masterclass amongst pop writers now who want to write songs for Miley Cyrus or The Weeknd or any of that sort of level they would say, no, no, no, no, that this will never work. It's too strange. It's too weird. You can't do that; it doesn't have the normal chord progression.

"There are a lot of songs from the 80s that are like that," he reckons, "compared to the now, more informative way of writing, the 80s was braver actually, and it worked well. And those songs are evergreens in a way that a lot of the top radio shit from seven years ago is forgotten, and that's the stuff that I grew up with when I started playing the guitar."

Having made that inner sanctum, he would enter kindergarten a reality, one where he can explore those recesses of his mind shaken by the musical earthquakes he experienced; now, he's matured and deeply entrenched in the reality. "Throughout the modern day of pop writing, I know a few professional pop songwriters, and we continue having these conversations because in pop," he says, "where some of them work prolifically on really high releases, they're like, it's strange how the business wants everything to be so informative. Everybody wants a weird song, but still, all the big songs are usually very, very formatted [and] very, very simple."

While unpacking the songs he'd heard back in the 80s offered Tobias a chance to comprehend what makes a good song, it, more importantly, helped him to set out doing it on his own. When digging into crafting a new Ghost number, Tobias explains that "each new song is a little bit like virgin territory with its own riddle to be solved, and is always a combination of the horror of maybe not solving the puzzle, with the thrill when you do. And it's never easy because each new song needs something new. And so you constantly need to feed your ability with knowledge about how other things are."

Breaking it down into a figurative example, he likens it to being like a detective. "I'm assuming that part of being a great detective is to constantly have an open mind, but also constantly learning about human behaviour and wha people do. If you just had 100 forensic classes, but you know nothing about people and how they live their lives, it's gonna be hard to solve crimes." The same rings true for writers who have to read to improve and further understand language, while comedians pull from real-life experiences - music is no different. Tobias's early days of stripping down songs to their basic parts and then rebuilding them have remained a constant endeavour. "But that's how you write songs as well; you go and absorb new things."

The covers process, as mentioned, is a release for Tobias. When things are stuck when trying to piece together a new chapter for the Ghost bible, a cover offers up a chance for something lighter. "Working on covers can be equally euphoric," he confirms, "because it's fun to understand a song whereas, on the other hand, it can be almost demoralising because you're like, I can't believe that this song is so much better than anything that I've written! And it's so much easier. It's so simple."

"I find myself overcomplicating things often, but you might not hear the complicated detour that I took to end up at the more understandable, straighter version that ended up being the actual recording," he continues. "That's a never-ending struggle because that's how it's supposed to be. It's not like you write the one song. I don't think I know anyone or know of anyone who's content with the idea of having written one huge song. And then you know, okay, that's nirvana for you. You don't write the one song the same way that if you're a comedian, it's not like, 'Oh, I just told the funniest joke. So now I'm done".

While Tobias is one for wanting to keep the ball rolling and on a constant endeavour to continue his musical evolution, he knows there's a limit. Every release of Ghost must have a purpose. Nodding to the 60s method of firing singles out on all fronts, eventually compiling them for a full-length release, Tobias acknowledges his relationship with his fans is based on a more long-term understanding. "That's not how we do things; we make an album, and off of that album, there are singles - it's a 70s/80s thinking. And I don't want to refrain from that - I don't want too many singles to be these autonomous little creatures."

But the world is different now. It's a Wild West where being in the masses' consciousness is key, so things may have to change for him. Admitting that right now, he knows he's post-release of Ghost's last canon entry, 'Impera', which arrived back in 2022, and while 'Phantomime' is a reasonable enough bridge, sooner or later, he's going to have to play the game of ensuring Ghost ramp up. Earlier this year, Ghost collaborated with Def Leppard's Joe Elliott on a re-release of 'Impera' cut 'Spillways' which, while a fantastic addition to their arsenal, adds to the same notion Tobias is fearful of. "I'm slowly preparing for making a new record that's going to come out in 2024, which is way too long for the current contemporary music climate; you need to be ever-present," the last phrase hanging in the air ominously.

That doesn't mean he has to lower his standards, however. No Ghost release will exist just for content's sake. Everything must have its place. He even reckons a 14-track album is "a lot of music", and he still sees an album as being "22 minutes of music per side" - true to form, currently, no standard issue of any Ghost album breaches 12 tracks. He's even ready to aim for the likes of The Rolling Stones and The Beatles by swiftly lobbing a couple of spicy takes out. "Look, man, I don't even think that 'Exile on Main Street' is that good. Not even the fucking White album is that great - break it up! Both of those records would have been better if they were trimmed down to singular records."

That pop mind breaking through; Tobias is someone who knows that music is entertainment. Certainly, a medium which often leads to more bulky connotations, but it must entertain. It's why he doesn't pay any mind to those naysayers that yearn for Ghost to be more metal or to follow a different path. This is Tobias's game; we're just privy to the sermon. These days the floodgates are open and, when compared to previous decades, as Tobias remembers it, "you had to buy your own records. Whatever additional music you got, that wasn't maybe heard on the TV or the radio, when you took something from someone else, was usually a choice, so music styles could in some way be a little bit more insular back then just because you weren't subjected to as much." He mentions his beloved death metal as being a signifier of the changes happening. "Back in the day, when I was starting listening to extreme metal, that was completely embraced by a certain little subculture or group of mostly teenagers and 20-somethings. Whereas in the 2000s, when Vice started doing black metal reporting, all of a sudden you have indie personalities who were fans of Darkthrone, and so, obviously, what ended up that turned into this fusion, which was a positive and very natural thing."

This cultural shift is another reason Ghost's space is widening and its success growing. "Nowadays, people are a little bit more open," he admits. But, with this comes issues. "As time has progressed, metal and hard rock, as well as most genres that have been around for a while, [they've] gone from this youth culture to a conservative institution because so many of the fans are now aged." The passage of time waits for no one. But, more presciently for culture, it also means our understanding of what is 'good' and what should be where is moulded differently to when we were younger. "Unfortunately, that happens to most people regardless of who you were when you were 20," Tobias reckons, "or your ideals when you're like 40/50/60 years old. Your brain starts morphing into a slightly more conservative, slightly more nostalgic... You don't want things to change."

Tobias is the first to hold his hands up and admit the same has happened to him. He yearns for 1984 and even 1990-94. He would even be happy with 1987, back to those days with the crackling radio and a childlike spirit. "That would be so much cooler. I loved that way more than in this day and age. But I can't sit around and mope about that because it's not a problem that it's not 1987."

'Phantomime' is proof nostalgia can be a useful tool. It fuels with passion, and Ghost is Tobias's Neverland. "There's such a debate about what we are and why that is." Ghost are a band that, thanks to Tobias's musical education, transcend time. They exist on their own plain and with the evergreen, timeless sounds of yesteryear echoing around Tobias's head, long may Papa reign with his gloved melodic iron fist.

[lonewolflink]

your enthusiasm for itzy has reignited my interest in listening to kpop i MISSED this… like wow it’s just. really bright and fun!! <3 i love seeing gifs of the girls on my dash! i was a hyper casual fan who was never too into them outside of liking the music, but they seem lovely 💙

what are they up to lately? do you have any listening recs? :3

- puckpocketed on main 🦈

puck!! hello friend!!!! (trying out puck as a shortened name a la link but you lmk if something else is better)

i am so pleased that you are being infected with my itzy brainrot. maybe i should be more sorry about about it but alas, i love them, so i cannot find it in myself to be sorry. more under the cut!

i would say that not only are my girls lovely, they are Freaks (affectionate). tbh it is what led me to stan. they are so weird and i love them so much. i once answered an ask (also here) about how i got into itzy that i think scratches some of the surface of what i enjoy about them.

what has itzy been up to lately? well the last couple years have been a bit of a rollercoaster for the team. after a pretty serious kpop social media hate train following one of their comebacks (though evidence suggests the hate train started earlier), things were a bit rough. the company seemed to be simultaneously creatively mismanaging/poorly promoting the group while also overworking them—a recipe for disaster that culminated in main vocalist lia going on indefinite hiatus for anxiety issues in september 2023 (or as i like to call it, LTIR).

in her absence, as a foursome, itzy recorded a 10 track album called "Born to Be" and then went on a global tour for it, but with a twist! five of the 10 songs would be the first SOLO songs written by each member and performed individually (sans lia on tour of course). lia's song might honestly be the best of the five (though i probably listen to chaeryeong's the most). they're all quite different and i would STRONGLY recommend them:

-Crown on My Head (Yeji) -Blossom (Lia) -Run Away (Ryujin) -Mine (Chaeryeong) -Yet, But (Yuna)

the solo songs for the active members at the time also have like partial/mini-music videos that are up on youtube and are pretty cool (ryujin's or yuna's are probably my favorite? but it's hard to choose. yeji and chaeryeong also ate). you can, of course, listen to the other songs on that album...but i wouldn't. and that's because with lia now activated off LTIR, the other 5 songs that were recorded with the four active members have been RE-RECORDED WITH LIA and will be dropping as part of their new album coming out next week (oct 15th!). all those songs are good but "mr. vampire" is the one to look out for. the beat is weird, the vibes are excellent, and lia's voice is going to sound amazing on it.

in general, the new comeback feels...different, at least in its rollout so far. above i mentioned mismanagement and poor promotion by the company, and rumor has it that after the last album the division in charge of itzy got like. fired. wholly. and replaced with new employees (GM FIRED AFTER TOO MANY SEASONS OF NOT MAKING THE PLAYOFFS kinda vibes). the new look JYP Division 2 is like...kinda doing great??? there's clearly an actual cohesive (if bizarre) creative direction for this upcoming album, which feels new and fresh, there's been a lot of thought clearly put into Aesthetic rather than just "green screen something flashy and uh. the girls always look hot so just put them in some fashionable clothes i guess".

in sum: this is kind of an exciting time to be following itzy. it feels like we're on the precipice of a bit of a rebirth, which is quite rare with kpop girl groups in particular, who tend to rise and fall with the extremely fickle general public opinion of koreans.

some song recommendations/partial guide to itzy's discography!

let's start with their title tracks/singles:

—girl crush/dark/gym playlist music (aka cuntzy) -dalla dalla (debut single) -wannabe (biggest hit) -mafia in the morning (my personal favorite mv of theirs) -ringo (japanese track, low key sick mv. or maybe it's just yeji w a sword for me...idk) -voltage (japanese track, i LOVE this song, even more than ringo) -blah blah blah (japanese track)

—cute/fun/femme/doing your thing (aka funzy)

-icy (bop) -sneakers (supposed start of their demise, but it's fun and cute? people are haters) -boys like you (your mileage may vary, people love/hate this) -cake (UNDERAPPRECIATED BOP) -algorhythm (japanese track, the dance break in the mv is sick)

—hard to categorize bc they're not dark/girl crush but they are gym playlist (to me) -not shy (ITZYYYYYYY) -loco (this song just slaps idk man) -cheshire (justice for cheshire i love this song)

in no particular order, top 10 standout b-sides (in my opinion...though i should say most of their b-sides are really fucking good): 1. none of my business (the way i need itzy to do more r&b u have no idea. also the mv with the matching fits is SO 90s early 00s r&b groups i love it so much) 2. cherry (girl crush perfection, gym playlist staple) 3. bet on me (this song got me through my phd. mv is imo outstanding. meaningful song generally, but to itzy in particular after the hate train) 4. kidding me/shoot/sorry not sorry (i'm cheating by putting three songs here but they're all from the same EP and go SO well together) 5. snowy (this is MY christmas song) 6. kill shot (i want shin ryujin to decapitate me. women in suits??) 7. nobody like you (quintessential early itzy) 8. bratty (they invented being a brat, charlie xcx who) 9. psychic lover (fan favorite, just a great song, they smile so fucking hard when they perform it live it's so cute) 10. weapon (not even a song from an album, they recorded it for some dance competition show to use. STAPLE on my gym playlist) honorable japanese discography mentions:

-no biggie (japanese) -sugarholic (japanese) -spice (japanese)

OK THAT'S WHAT I'VE GOT FOR YOU SORRY IT'S SO LONG

I WILL ALSO STRONGLY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO NMIXX'S LAST TWO EPS THEY ARE REALLY GOOD AND THEIR VOCALS ARE CRAZY

[thewisebyers]

I Feel So Good if I Just Say the Word (R.B x Reader)

prompt: reader is in love with her best friend Robin and has a hard time saying it; based off Sussudio by Phil Collins, takes place in 1985 (only because Breakfast Club and No Jacket Required came out that year, no canon events happen) warning(s): internalized homophobia, a little angsty but happy ending, not proof-read, not edited so let me know if there’s any errors requested?: no but this song screams Robin and i needed to write for my girl word count: 1.9k

There's a girl that's been on my mind All the time Sussusudio

"Put on something" Robin pleaded from the plush bean bag chairs you had set up down in your basement. You were trying to pick out the perfect movie to watch with your best friend but you were having a hard time choosing between two movies. Breakfast Club or Carrie? Breakfast Club was newer; only coming out earlier that year but Carrie was one of your favorites. You always rooted for Carrie; the poor girl was just trying to survive high school. You knew what that was like all too well and maybe that was why you resonated with Carrie a little too much. You just wished you were normal; instead you questioned who you were and why you didn't like boys like the other girls in your class. You'd pretend to check out Billy's butt like the other girls in your class but you didn't get the appeal; boys' butts were usually flatter than a pancake.

"Breakfast Club or Carrie?" you turned toward your friend holding each tape beside your head to show her her limited options. She scrunched her nose but pointed to Breakfast Club, you were a bit disappointed but popped the VHS into the player anyway. After pressing play, you quickly make your way back next to your friend. She hands you the bowl of fresh popped popcorn you had finished preparing on the stove before she had arrived for your weekly movie marathon. Marathon was pushing it; the two of you watched about one and a half movies before talking over the rest of the second movie and then forgetting about the TV completely. "Did you see how short Faith Gilmore cut her bangs?" Robin started; not even five minutes into the movie. You giggled at the memory; Faith walking into third period with part of her bangs sticking up because they just wouldn't flatten correctly.

Before you knew it; the two of you were absorbed in each other, forgetting the movie entirely. You listened as she rambled about a test she surely flunked because she forgot to study. You scowled her because you had spent the night together and she had never mentioned a test; you would have made her study instead of gossiping over magazines and gushing about the new Phil Collins album that had been out for a few months now. Robin didn't understand your obsession with the album but you found yourself rewinding  the first song over and over again on your cassette player. She makes me nervous and makes me scared.

Her smile lit up her entire her face and you swore you could get lost counting the freckles on her freckle splattered face; your heart ached in a way that you wished it wouldn't. You weren't supposed to feel this way; not about girls. Not about your best friend. Her body was turned towards yours; blanketed knees touching, fabric getting in the way of physical contact. You felt your cheeks grow warm at the thought of entangling your legs in hers and rubbing the soft skin of her thigh. Your body suddenly felt too warm and you had to fling the blanket off of you but in the process you accidentally knock the popcorn off of your lap. "Shit," you curse as popcorn flies everywhere.

Robin raises an eyebrow. "Okay, spaz, what was that about?" she questions while picking popcorn off of her lap. She had a few pieces in her hair and you cursed yourself again for being such an idiot. Your face burned as you frantically began picking up the popcorn; you didn't answer her, refusing to look at her. How could you explain yourself? Sorry I got too deep in thought about how adorable your smile is. No, never. You knew Robin liked girls as well; you had been best friends for so long and she had confided in you were she was struggling with her feelings. You didn't say anything at the time but her telling you about her sexuality had made you realize your own. When Robin said she liked girls it was like something had clicked in your brain and suddenly you were seeing girls in that way. "Okay," Robin says slowly, stretching out the word, after you didn't answer; putting an emphasizing the 'o'.

She begins to pick up popcorn which makes you feel worse for some reason; like you shouldn't have ruined the mood to begin with. Like you shouldn't have a crush on your best friend. Your hands begin to shake and before you can stop yourself; a stream of tears begins running down your face. "Hey! Whoa!" Robin exclaims once she notices the tears and sniffles; she throws the popcorn she had been collecting back on the ground before moving over to you and grabbing your shoulders. "I was just kidding. Are you okay? It's really no big deal. It's just pop-"

"It's not that," you cut her off; you felt raw and exposed like you shouldn't be crying right now. You really shouldn't be crying right now but sobs shook your body as you look down at the half-empty bowl in your lap. You couldn't look at her and you needed a moment. "Excuse me," you said quickly, getting up and running up the basement stairs. Robin didn't know if she should follow or finish help cleaning up the popcorn; she decided to do the latter figuring you needed a moment and she didn't want you to have to worry about the mess when you returned. But she'd be lying if she said she wasn't confused; what had happened to make you suddenly burst out like that? Were you okay?

Once the mess was cleaned up, Robin took the bowl full of floor popcorn and went upstairs to throw away the food and to also find you. She dumped the snack into the trashcan and put the empty bowl into the sink. "Y/N?" she called from the kitchen. She started making her way down the hall towards your bedroom; stopping to smile at your sixth grade that your mom kept hanging in the hallway. You hated it; your braces were very present and were basically the star of the show. You look beautiful, your mom had said but you just didn't believe her. It was Robin's  favorite picture of you ever because she had been giving the cameraman bunny ears to try to get you to smile because you hated your braces. "Y/N?" she said again, knocking on your door. The room right at the end of the hall. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, in her sweet raspy voice.

The softness made you want to melt and your heart began to race again. Your face flushed when you realized there was no avoiding this-her. A sigh rumbled through your body as you sat against your door; your heart ached knowing Robin was on the other side, worried about you. You didn't know what to say, what to do. Maybe if you were so quiet she'd just disappear. But she wouldn't; she'd worry and wait the whole night if she had to. "Y/N?" she repeated; worry creeping in her voice. She tried to open to door but it was locked. "Y/N? Come on, what's going on? Are you okay?" She tried the door again; as if it would magically open for her if she tried enough times.

You quickly got up from your spot; standing in front of the locked door. "I'm in love with you," you finally blurted out, not being able to hold it in any longer. You instantly wished you could take the words back but now the air was thick with anticipation and anxiety. Your body shook as the silence was eating you alive; devouring you, leaving your stomach in knots. Tears begin pooling in your eyes again; panic taking over when you heard clicking noises coming from your lock. Was she trying to pick your lock? Oh my god she was trying to pick your lock. You quickly leaned your weight against the door as she tried to make her way into the room. "No! Don't!" But it was too late; it was like Robin had suddenly become the strongest person in the world because she was pushing her way in despite your best efforts.

You turn away from her once she's made her way into your room; you couldn't face her. You couldn’t look at her, you felt sick. You were ruining your friendship right then and there but you couldn't take it back. You couldn't get her out of your head; your only thoughts were her and her dorky smile and how she smelled like vanilla and old books despite you hardly seeing her reading anything besides a magazine or an assignment for school. "Look at me," she turns your body by placing her hands on your shoulders and forcing your face close to hers. "You don't have to say it again," she breathed, her cheeks glowing a shade of crimson. "I just-I love you too and I don't want you to think you can't tell me anything because- fuck! I've been in love with you since you moved to Hawkins!" she admitted, throwing her hands up in exaggeration. That was in third grade; when Dick Robertson kicked dirt in your face (because you were new and because he could) and Robin pushed him into the mud, telling him next time she'd push him in front of the tire swing. You didn't think she'd actually do and later on she admitted she wouldn't have but the two of you still laughed at the look on his face.

Your face burned at her admission; had she really liked your this entire time? Every sleepover? Every lingering glance that you thought maybe something was there. There had been something there; from both of you and you had never realized. Had she told you she liked girls because she wanted to know how you'd react? To know if you liked her too? Well you did; it just had taken you a painfully long time to fucking realize it. Had she really liked you this entire time and you didn't realize it? "Really?" you finally found your voice; quieter and softer than usual but it was all you could muster. She nodded; moving her hands to hold your face to look at her. Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue you had ever seen in your life and you knew you could get lost in them if you left yourself. You wanted to get lost in them; in her. As if reading you thought; her eyes flickered to your lips before closing the space between your lips.

She tasted like cherry chapstick, a peppermint she had been sucking on earlier, and the salty popcorn the two of you had been sharing before you spilt it everywhere. It was a beautiful combination that had your mind going completely blank as you kissed your best friend back. You had only ever imagined kissing Robin; wondering exactly what she tasted like and now you couldn't get enough. Your hands gripped the front of her t-shirt; as if she'd float away if you let go, you kissed over and over until you were both out of breath. "Weird way of getting out of watching Breakfast Club," she said once you were apart and she had caught her breath from your frenzied kissing. You just laughed; relief filling your body as your watched your friend with what you could only call heart-filled eyes. You pull her into another kiss before she can say anything else; happy to be honest with yourself and free to be with the girl you couldn't get off your mind.

[fabraies-archive]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ THE PERFECT PAIR

ꔛ ⋆⁺ +.ﾟmusic store worker! fem! reader x semi eita, just fluff fluff fluff, i came up with this on a whim after getting asked out by my crush so this is why it’s so sweet without a single hint of angst. I am in love your honor

Ding!

The sound makes you whip your head in the direction of the shop entrance at the speed of light; after all, it’s not everyday someone actually steps into your shop.

The soon-to-be-client (you hope, at least), catches your eye after having stood in front of the vinyl section of the store, analysing the albums for around five minutes. You walk over, and as you do so, the handsome stranger is quick to let you know what he weaved you over for: “hey, I was just wondering if this one is still for sale?” He points to a colourful orange album, “there isn’t a price tag on it, so…”

You don’t let him think this for long and take this as an opportunity to showcase your business major skills. 

“No, no, it is for sale. It’s new, and one of the only items we had to restock, so.. pretty popular.” 

Turns out your so called business major skills are actually sort of lacking, especially in front of your intimidatingly handsome client. Your hands fumble with each other, unsure of what to do, before he clears his throat. 

“Great. That’s good to know, but um.. The price ?” 

You could die of embarrassment. You try to answer as straightfowardly as possile, as to avoid making this conversation any more awkward, but your mouth moves faster than your brain and you ramble again. 

“The price! Right, oh my god, I totally forgot I’m so sorry, uh, it doesn’t have a tag on, so I’ll just, um,” You scurry over to the back and manage a little ‘I’ll be back in a minute’ before you disappear behind the orange curtains. 

You come back a few moments later, to find the mysterious young man squatting down, checking out the vinyls. 

“We have some more upstairs if you’re interested.” 

At the sound of your voice, he noticeably jumps, hitting the top of his head on the upper shelf in the process. The scene makes you giggle, although you will admit it is hard to get up from that corner without missing the wood piece; you had experienced it many time already yourself. 

“No, it’s fine, I’ll just,” He hisses, and holds his throbbing head in his hand. “The guitar ?” He asks again. 

“659$.” 

You congratulate yourself on the curt, straightforward answer, until the expression slowly taking over your client’s face makes you cut your inner festivities short. 

“I’m sorry. It’s an intermediate guitar, so, these usually end up between 500 and 900$. It’s already a pretty nice deal you have here because this is one is on the lower side of said range, but if you really can’t, the beginner guitars are way less-” 

“I’m not a beginner,” Your interlocutor smiles at your genuine attempt to console him. “but thanks. I’ll be back.” 

Just like that, the door hits the entrance bells again, this time to signal that the student left.

You feel stupid for feeling disappointed. Nothing would come out of this encounter, but once again, your delusional tendencies got the best of you. Besides, his looks were a dead giveaway that he was probably swarmed by girls everytime he entered campus. What were the chances for him to choose you out of all the girls that would throw themselves at his feet? 

Only a while later, on your way to close down the store do you notice the little piece of paper that stuck out between the vinyls, just where the gray haired man had been squatting earlier today. Your grab it out of curiosity, only to find a bunch of numbers written down hastily.

Realization hits you; it’s a phone number. You try your best to decipher the numbers when the store’s landline phone starts ringing. 

You jog over to the phone a to not make the person on the other side of the line wait. 

“Hello ?” 

A voice you thought you would never hear again answers, and you wonder what you did for the universe to be so kind to you. 

“Hey, uh, I just wanted to make sure you found my number on the vinyls shelf? And that you could read it. Cause you’re cute and, Valentine’s is coming up..”

[felonytaxevasion]

For the record here are my other Undersider drunken karaoke night picks I think about this situation a normal amount (lie)

Round 1 - No One Has Added Underage Drinking To Their Daily Crime Journal Yet

Lisa - Lisa starts everyone off with California Girls because she is, in her heart, A California Girl She's Undeniable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on Top. Lisa is probably the closest thing the Undersiders have to a good singer but she's totally hamming it up here to break the ice in hopes Taylor will participate

Aisha - Every single Rihanna album has gone platinum in Aisha Laborn's bedroom and she will take any opportunity to make this fact known. I think she would pick Only Girl In The World because Aisha really feels like Rihanna made that one just for her specifically. Not a singer with technical expertise but she brings the most passion and joy to her performances

Brian - As stated in an earlier post he picks Bruno Mars Beautiful Girls All Over The World, possibly Just The Way You Are. He did not pick them to serenade Taylor specifically but at one point he does make eye contact with Taylor during the chorus and it embarrasses them both. Aisha pretends to vomit.

Alec - picks the exact same song as Brian and does it worse in every way. Intentionally makes eye contact with each of the Undersiders making sure to really draw out Brian's turn

Taylor - Peer pressured enough to participate but not enough to choose a song she actually likes and listens to in fear of being judged. She performs Fireflies by Owl City with real fireflies and it's equal parts charming and horrifying. Lisa cheers too loudly and Alec hides behind Brian and Rachel from the bugs. Taylor vows to never perform at karaoke again

Rachel - refuses to participate

Round 2 - Everyone is Slightly Tipsy

Lisa - Lisa performs Girls Just Want To Have Fun and gets really into it. She only hits half of the high notes but she tries really hard to hit all of them. It's the closest thing to an impressive performance any of them achieve all night

Brian - cuts in front of Aisha to perform Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Performs all nine minutes even while Aisha boos him and also sings the guitar solos. Experiences joy and whimsy for the first time in months

Aisha - Don't Trust Me by 3OH3. While singing the line "I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him" she gets too excited and flings a bracelet off knocking a glass off a table and shattering it. This does not slow her performance for even a second

Alec - Friday by Rebecca Black. Very pleased with the negative reaction this inspires. Aisha tries to chase him off the stage and the latter half of the song is just them wrestling for the microphone

Taylor and Rachel decline to participate and instead sit in the corner and whisper gay things the whole round

Round 3 - Completely Lost In The Sauce Wasted

Lisa - Incredibly Solemn and Serious rendition of Video Games by Lana Del Rey. Alec dims the lights and everyone sans Rachel wave their cellphone flashlights for her

Alec - Alec has spent the entire night lying and telling Aisha he can sing all the words to Rap God by Eminem. He messes up the words in the first verse immediately. Laughs through the rest of the performance and accidentally makes up a new word that becomes he and Aisha's new terrible "inside joke" they insist on saying every five minutes for the next month

Brian - Low by Flo Rida. Does a whole dance routine to go along with it. Everyone except Aisha has a GREAT time

Aisha - Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. High off the excitement of his last performance Brian performs along and completely steals the show. This leads to the first bout of drunken crying (Aisha. Immediately followed by Brian) followed by drunken declarations of love and affirmation

Eventually the affirmations lead to Taylor agreeing to singing one more song so long as every Undersider individually promises her they won't make fun of her. She picks This Is War by Thirty Seconds to Mars because she is a terrible angsty teenager in 2011 and she sings it very badly. Everyone stills cheers for her though and it is a very good finale

On the way home they get Rachel to agree to do the barks if the rest of them sing Who Let The Dogs Out acapella. This footage is captured by street cams and the footage of the teenage warlords walking down the street barking is presented as a "twisted intimidation tactic" by the PRT for the next three years

[manda-kat]

Souvenir Role Call!

I'm home! I'm sleepy, but as promised, I'm gonna show you guys everything I got. I ended up with lot of items, but honestly a lot of these were either free gifts or my mother bought them for me. Also, I'm more a fan of cheep thrills. I'll include prices if I can remember them. Now let's a go!

The first thing I got was this San Francisco pin. It was 5.95. I had a lot of options of tourist attractions to choose, but since I didn't see any of those on my doomed trip to San Fran, I just got a liscense plate. I saw plenty of those.

(The next things will not be in chronological order. I'll post them in order of what I unpacked first so I can sort through them easier.)

This mermaid doll was from a store called Kawaii Kawaii Hawaii, which is the cutest name for a Japanese/Hawai'ian shop. (There is a LOT of Japanese stuff in Hawai'i. Apparently more Japanese Americans live on Oahu than Native Hawai'ians or White Americans) It had a bunch of nick nacks but I was enamored by this mermaid. The doll is super cheap and feels like a rip-off of a more popular brand, but her face is so cute! Her hair's pretty natty though when you look closely. She was fifteen dollars, which is hard to find a basic doll for nowadays, so I'd consider it worth it since I had never seen a doll like this before. Then literally two doors down we found a store selling these exact mermaid dolls, but with added angel wings for the same price. I wasn't about to buy two, but I was tempted.

A seashell lei given to hotel guests at the Waikiki Sunset. It was a nice pistachio green hotel only a few blocks from the beach. The people were super nice and the amenities were pretty good. I've been at a better hotel, but that one was because I had a discounted rate on the room, so this was a great option. I really wanted to stay at the pink palace just because of how cute it looked, but that was out of the question. It was very closeby though and I was able to see it when we went to the beach. The pistachio palace ended up being just right.

At the Polynesian Cultural Center I found one of these wooden frog guys. I think he was seven dollars or something. He's one of the frogs that you can run a stick down his spine to make a lovely noise. What I didn't know is that he makes every sound echo. The hollow body means that even gently bumping the side with your finger will make a dreamy little sound. A fine addition to my frog collection.

Not really souvenirs, but hey look. Wristbands. Perfect to say I'm gonna put them in a photo album and then forgetting to do so.

I got this pin at the ABC store. It was about five dollars. The lady at checkout was surprised to see it and told me a lot of people were looking for this one specifically and she thought they sold out. I can't imagine that considering how many of these I saw.

Dole Whip pin! In Hawai'i if it can be flavored with pineapple, it will be. The ice cream was good, but I feel like it was a bit overhyped. There was a line out the door for it and honestly I feel like it might have just been the summer vibes making everyone crave ice cream. I would definitely have another bowl if someone offered. I had the soft serve, so I'm not sure if there's a more popular way to prepare it that makes people go wild, but it was definitely good.

We shall be continued with more photos in a bit! Stand by!

[taylortruther]

Rae I was just having thoughts about You're Losing Me a while ago, and it really is just such an enigmatic song yk. I can never explain the way it made me feel the first time I heard it.

Just sumn about hearing all those wonderful, romantic, idyllic love songs about Joe for five whole albums and then just. YLM hits you like a truck because till then we still hadn't processed it all. Joe had been painted as this perfect, calm supportive partner who can do no wrong and Taylor is happy and it will always stay that way...and then April 9th happened.

Public perception is a crazy thing, and it's even crazier how nobody even DARED to speak the words that thy could've broken up before they did...but the red flags were there all along. It reminds me of the line in sotb "I don't speak, afraid to jinx it" and now that song is in the denial playlist. Truly everyone was in denial for like a month after the news dropped and we weren't even IN the relationship, I can't imagine how bad it was for Taylor herself.

Someone on Twitter quoted the breakup announcement with "Isn't this the guy she wrote Lover for? Yeah, we're all screwed". Amazing how much her own songs made everyone believe everything was okay till the very last moments.

I think especially what YLM strikes me as is a song centered around not wanting to throw away a "good thing" i.e. the Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

YLM is so horribly bleak imo, because it's not hopeful AT ALL. The last line is very literally her "making the decision" that unless he chooses her, she's done. And to think this was written in 2021?? Had she already accepted the truth back then? Did the denial stage start even BEFORE that? Was she sitting in the dark room for an year and a half?

The thing that hurts the most about a song like this with all the lyric parallels, is watching something you thought was gonna last forever turn out to be so disapointing in the end. Not WANTING to lose something you've built with so much love, even when you realise that the love has disappeared. The shattering of a mirage. All the We survived the great war imagery on Midnights to My heart won't start anymore for you. Her paralleling her own past songs will always break me. The silence that only comes when two people understand each other to You say 'I don't understand' and I say 'I know you don't'.

Of course the fandom believed at a point that they were endgame, but SO DID SHE. That is what makes the song harder to digest because it really feels like a personal letter to her fans, released ONLY for us months before it was made available to the public. I stand behind the theory that Midnights was the Denial album, and YLM (the bridge between Midnights and TTPD) is her waking up.

i know this isn't the point of your ask, but bear with me! i would argue that many fans realized some songs were describing dark or heavy moments - but, call it parasocial if you like, the fandom just wanted to believe they were working through those issues, not that the relationship was unhealthy or bad. (and no one wants to be labeled as a hater, which, maybe we can work on as a fandom now lol.) for example, i thought hoax and renegade were troubling, the line "your integrity makes me seem small" rubbed many of us the wrong way, we all clocked "maybe it was her"... meanwhile, unfortunately there were lots of theories about how it was "all in her head," which fortunately i think we can all put in perspective now. OK BUT MY POINT IS, it also makes it easy to imagine (as you said), that when you're IN the relationship itself, the good parts might overshadow the bad. you could cling to something that is beyond saving because there's still comfort or hope, and denial is extremely strong. denial can feel like hope tbh.

i think ylm really shows that she was trying so so hard, for so so long, that she was running out of steam in late 2021. and he wasn't make it easier for her, because he wasn't making his needs or true desires clear.

ANYWAY good thoughts, i enjoyed this ask!

[burninface]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

Thank you again for tagging me ling!@lingy910y

name: face

your time zone: GMT+8

favorite food:🍟

your eye color:dark black but according to ling they’re opaque (high five!

do you have curly, wavy, or straight hair? straight but always knotted like curly

coffee or tea? coffee

you can only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what is it? hard one, emmm I want to choose one of the queen's, but too weird to live, too rare to die by p!atd maybe

how many countries have you visited? 3 and they're all asian countries

favorite social media platform (other than tumblr): mastodon maybe (since I don't interact with others much, they're all the same to me

if you had to be reincarnated as an animal, what would you want to be? seagull, I want to rob 🍟

relationship status: I'm a litho so I'm quite likely to be single forever

did you go to college? if so, what did you study? yes, major in occupational therapy

you’ve just made a letterboxd account. what are your top 4 films? a fistful of dollars(I love the whole triad), thelma & louise, eat drink man woman, singin in the rain

what’s one of your pet peeves? the sound of smacking lips and slurping (only loudly)

what’s one of your guilty pleasures? deliberately putting things off to deadline as a way to force out inspiration

and finally, if you could learn any skill, what skill would you want to learn? how to social with others in person without panicking

since I've already done it late...no tagging others this time, just do it if you want! (wait did I forget to tag others last time?? sorry, promise I'll tag someone next week!!😢

[klxudykai]

✨🩷when you get this, list five songs you like to listen too, then send it to ten of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🩷✨

ima do this with songs from my favorite albums recently cause why not 🤷🏾‍♀️

1. L’amour de ma vie by Billie Ellish

this entire album was just like a harm hug for me especially this song since i feel like it kind resonated with what i was going through (recent break up for anyone curious)

2. B.A.S by Megan Thee Stallion

honestly this song was just me trying to tap into my “idgaf” mindset cause i feel like i care too much for mfs that don’t seem to care about me so 🤷🏾‍♀️

3. Helena by My Chemical Romance

this is actually a recent one but i realized that i fuck with mcr so hard so this only makes sense to add this one to the list

4. Red Wine Supernova by Chappell Roan

her singing plus the guitar is just 🙏🏾 literally the entire album saved my life and i can’t wait for her to make a new one cause ik she’s gonna slay

5. Going by H.E.R

this song resonates so much cause it feels like my mind is focused on getting shit done rather than trying to focus on things that i can worry about later and mentally i just haven’t been doing things that i enjoy and rather trying to do things that will benefit me in the future

honorable mentions cause i can never just choose 5 songs:

1. After Midnight by Chappell Roan

2. Against me by H.E.R

3. Say by Keshi

4. Wildflower by Billie Ellish

(i’ve seen way too many sad edits to this song my heart hurts)

I MISSED TWO SONGS WAIT LMFAOO

1. Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter

(trying to tap into my inner sabrina guys)

2. Please please please by Sabrina Carpenter

(i’ve been told this song reminds me of me and my s/o in my dr so i’ve been obsessed ever since)

its not letting me add the audio for this song so yall might have to just look it up or smth 💀💀

okay that’s all (no it’s not)

@lovebvni @cocozydiaries @jealousmartini @theshifterbride @shifting-to-ur-mom @themanirealityshifter @ravenscosmos (there’s probably more but i have no idea)

[sevenseasofbangtan]

INSECURITY DRABBLE

Member: Bang Chan (Stray Kids)

Insecurity: Acne scars

Warning(s): None except the mention of insecurities

Genre(s): Mostly fluff, slight angst

You were intensely staring at your reflection in the mirror, meticulously adding yet another layer of concealer on every single scar you could see, but were still not satisfied with the results.

A soft knock on the bathroom door brought you out of your thoughts. You heard your boyfriend speak, “Are you almost done in here? We really need to go, or else we’ll be late!” Chan had been invited to a dinner organized by the company to celebrate the boys’ latest album release. The staff knew about your relationship, but had yet to meet you, so your boyfriend thought this would be a perfect occasion to have you meet everyone he works with.

And it was. Except for the fact that you felt an immense amount of pressure on your shoulders. It was a formal dinner and it would be everyone’s first impression of you. No matter how many times Chan reassured you it would be fine, you couldn’t help thinking you had to look perfect.

Sighing, you replied, “Y—yeah, just give me five more minutes and I should be ready to go.” “But we don’t have five more minutes, (Y/N). What’s taking you so long?” he insisted. You already felt terrible, and he wasn’t helping. “I’m just making sure my makeup looks perfect!” you explained, trying to sound as cheerful as possible and hoping your boyfriend wouldn’t see through it.

“Come on, I’m sure it looks perfect already! And no one’s gonna care if it isn’t!” he tried to reason. You couldn’t help feeling hurt at his clumsy attempt at reassuring you. He couldn’t possibly understand what you were feeling, seeing as he didn’t have acne scars. You were feeling pressured and finally snapped: “How do you know that? It’s easy for you to say: They’re all people you already know. They won’t judge you. But I’m the new girl. Your girlfriend. Of course they’ll judge me and try to find to find my flaws. And I don’t want to give them any reason to dislike me.”

Opening the door slowly, Chan carefully walked into the bathroom and forcefully took the concealer out of your hand, ignoring your protests. “I think you look absolutely flawless and I’m sure they will absolutely adore you, just like I do!” he claimed with a small smile dancing on his lips. “I don’t look flawless at all! Look at all those scars!” you exclaimed, feeling exasperated. Shaking his head, Chan mentioned, “You’re the only one who sees them because you know they’re there. I promise you no one else notices it. We’ll be in a restaurant, and the lighting will probably be dim anyways.”

“How are you so sure no one notices them? You’re biased because you love me, so you choose not to see them. But your coworkers probably will see them. It might not be a big deal to you because you don’t know what it’s like to have skin that looks any less than perfect, but I guarantee you, it IS a big deal to me” you argued back.

Stepping closer towards you, Chan takes ahold of your face between both of his hands and forces you to look at him as he speaks, “There is no such thing as perfect skin! Everyone has something that makes them unique, but not any less beautiful. You always talk about Felix’s freckles and how they complement his face so perfectly, but isn’t that some form of imperfection too?” “But freckles are pretty, while acne scars just look ugly,” you whined.

“To you. They are ugly to you. That doesn’t mean other people don’t like them or don’t think they complement your face just as well as freckles would. I know it’s hard, but don’t be so harsh on yourself. You’re absolutely beautiful and if anyone fails to see that, it’s their problem, not yours. And not only are you beautiful physically, you also have an amazing personality that would make anyone overlook your appearance anyways. You don’t need to worry about this dinner, my coworkers will love you regardless of your acne scars, I promise. Please just trust me on this, even if your mind is telling you otherwise,” Chan pleaded.

After a few seconds of hesitation, you gently nodded. Smiling brightly, Chan added, “And if anyone dares say something bad about you, rest assured that I won’t stay silent! I’m always on your side.” He softly kissed your cheek and continued, “You’re beautiful, and as much as I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, I know things don’t work that way, but please, at least try to ignore your thoughts and believe me instead. I promise everything will be okay. I’ve got you.”

Feeling slightly better you leaned forward and hugged your boyfriend, thanking him for taking the time to ease your worries, despite being in a hurry. “Don’t worry about it, you’ll always be more important than any event I have to attend. I love you (Y/N),” Chan affirmed. It wasn’t the first time you heard him say those three words, yet it never failed to make your heart flutter and your cheeks heat up. “I love you too. A lot,” you replied, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, hoping he wouldn’t notice how flustered you truly were.

He may not have made your worries magically disappear, but his words definitely gave you a surge of confidence, which you so desperately needed. Chan proved you yet again that he will always find the right words to say given any situation. And maybe that made you fall for him a little more than you already had.