#choke the bitch out

[spookyhotmess]

[izzystizzys]

There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.

Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.

“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.

“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”

“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.

He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.

“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.

“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”

“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”

“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”

“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”

“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”

It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.

“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”

Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”

“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.

[rendevok]

The sensation of waking up next to you ❤️💙

+bonus doodle:

…and they mimir’d happily ever after the end. ❤️

(ID under cut!)

Miles is roused from sleep by sunlight shining on his face. Slowly, his eyes adjust to the light, until finally, his scope of awareness broadens to a body he had been sleeping on.

Page 2

Miles looks up to the figure that holds him, and upon seeing, his eyes widen in recognition.

Miles looks up to the figure that holds him, and upon seeing, his eyes widen in recognition.

The bottom panel of the page shows minimal details of a window shedding light onto the bed and blankets as seen from a higher view in the room.

Page 3

On the other side of the bed, Phoenix rests, his head propped by the headboard. His hair is messy from sleep, and his expression is thoughtful. The light of the morning highlights his features.

The sun shines through the blinds of the window.

Phoenix finally notices his observer, and turns to look at him.

Page 4

Phoenix takes Miles’ hand in his, and lifts it to gently kiss the ring on Miles’ finger. They both move to share a kiss, and their hands shift to hold one another. Miles’ ring sparkles in the sunlight.

Page 5

They link their fingers as they kiss, and the morning creates a quiet atmosphere around them.

They part, but remain close, their fingers fully interlocked. Phoenix greets “Good morning,” with a tender, loving expression as he looks at Miles. Miles’ own expression is soft, unguarded, and fixed on Phoenix.

Page 6

Phoenix and Miles settle back into their shared bed; the morning sun illuminates them. They both smile softly, seeming happy and at peace. Miles rests his head under Phoenix’s neck, and his hand on Phoenix’s chest. One of Phoenix’s hands rests over Miles’ own on his chest, while his other hand holds Miles closer, revealing a matching ring of his own. Both rings shine softly in the sunlight.

Bonus image

A small simple drawing of Phoenix and Miles having fallen asleep again while holding each other as in the final page of the comic.

End ID.]

[darkfantasyprincess23]

[venomouslilith]

how's your recent break-up going?

oh I just used my ex's toothbrush to deep clean the shower drain, now I feel much better!

[sexynetra]

That jawline is. Whew. Putting in the work.

[bbqhooligan]

im gonna get kicked out of lesbianism for saying this but i wouldnt even consider the bourgeois privilege princess while my SIBLINGS underground were in need of my help like ekko needs his older brother and jinx needs her big sis king arthur couldnt get me out of the underground rip to vi im built different

[chippuyon]

There’s something about Rei basically telling his father:

“YOU can stay miserable, I actually have a family who I love, peace✌️”

Like Rei is living his best life with his husband and daughter doing French Toast at the other side of Japan, while Suwa will stay miserable by his own volition lmaooo

For realll he's living the life.

You just reminded me I forgot to talk about THIS line which is genius??? This is the first and last time Rei calls him father as an adult. Aside from the literal reason that he's not Rei's "Boss" anymore since he's quitting the org, it's also his bittersweet way of acknowledging that the man before him did raise him to some extent. He's saying farewell to both the org and his biological ties to his father, without denying that either were a part of his history.

[kitom-kortil]

20 is not a kid lmfao

Yes the fuck it is u insufferable prick

A kid. Not a minor, dipshit. A kid. They are a fucking kid. They cannot even legally drink you stupid pretentious fuck. They havent even been out of school for TWO FUCKING YEARS.

Im done being polite you people are fucking stupid and pathetic little sheep that are too much of a bunch of pussy fucks that dont actually give a fuck about anyone but urselves and ur righteous jerk off material.

Youre sitting here believing a post that is so fucking blatantly faked and full of bullshit because it gets you off and makes u feel big and bad and important. Its fucking fake.

Ven and DB claimed to be minors and theyre both ADULTS. Mitcha suicide baited someone. Youre pathetic and gagging on the dick of a pathetic transphobic little bitch who was pissed they didnt get their dick jerked the way they wanted cuz they failed to keep their manipulation target under their thumb so now theyre blowing up a bullshit post and making up lies cuz they want fucking attention.

Youre fucking stupid. You have no fucking brain. Cry and bitch and jerk ur dick in ur little masturbatorium and pat yourself on the back for cancelling a random fucking kid for fake shit cuz ur too fucking scared to report actual pedophiles in your fucking area.

I hope the worst possible shit happens to all of you disgusting fucks.

[maxdurden]

okay but if the bad kids are returning to fallinel is this gonna come back to bite fig in the ass??

[frogaroundandfindout]

Dinah is so iconic (Arsenal #1)

[swifty-fox]

not to be stoned n thinky but like....does anyone else have a weird disconnect with contextualizing their childhoods?? like my parents engaged in so many abusive behaviors but the idea of calling them abusive is?? laughable to me???

Maybe because I was always able to fight back to some degree and it mostly wasn't physical violence I feel like I had too much agency to consider it abuse? but like if someone else said they'd gone through what I did they'd be like Jesus Christ

[toriliashine]

Multiclassed wyll into a warlock/ranger. Best decision I've ever made, live your Disney princess with a gun truth man

[kindest-little-fella-in-town]

fuck these democrats man (third pic is the template)

[saturatedsinset]

mmmm. fondly remembering enforcer joe in nxt black and gold

[kdjdhdhebx]

I never understood what feminists were on about having problems with the word bitch until I heard nick docks songs