#chloe self reflects | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blueikky · 1 month ago

Text

What I want (Connor x Reader)

Summary: An android learns what it means to feel through his unexpected affection for his human partner. As he navigates the delicate lines between curiosity and love, they both find themselves drawn into moments that reveal just how deeply they care for each other—more than either expected.

Word Count: 11.8K

Pairing: Connor x fem!Reader

Warnings: romance, fluff, intimate moments, mutual pining, android/human relationship, first kiss, soft feelings, a touch of humor, sensitive themes (brief mention of self-harm ideation).

A/N: English is not my mother tongue, so there may be mistakes here and there.

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.ılı.lıllılı.ıllı

Hello! My name is Chloe.

I hope you enjoy this story.

━━━━━━◎━━━━━━

“Where are you going, Lieutenant?”

Hank grunted something unintelligible and got out of the car. Seconds later, the RK800 model android was on his heels.

“Why did we stop here, Lieutenant Anderson?” Connor asked. “We’re still halfway to the police station, and we need to get this case’s evidence there as quickly as possible.”

“I know, I know…” Hank muttered, waving a dismissive hand. “Just… be quiet for a minute. This won’t take long.”

With that, Hank pushed the store door open carelessly. Connor stayed outside, gathering and organizing information to figure out why Lt. Anderson was entering a perfume shop. They needed to stay focused on the investigation. It was the top priority, especially since, despite more deviant cases arising, they hadn’t made any significant progress. And Connor was sure that entering a perfume shop wouldn’t help them get any closer to solving the case. Processing this in a matter of milliseconds, Connor decided to follow Hank in and try to persuade him to leave. The lieutenant was already near one of the shelves and dismissing assistance from a female android. As Connor got close enough to tap his shoulder, Hank turned abruptly and placed a square box into the hand he had extended.

“Since you’re here, do me a favor and pay for this.”

Connor looked at the box in his hand. The packaging was a reflective purple adorned with stars and nebulas. The words “Nebula Spray” were printed on one side. His analysis program ran immediately, displaying information about the product:

“Perfume ‘Nebula Spray’

Feminine fragrance

Produced by: QCE Cosmetics

Manufacture date: 07/25/2038

Expiration date: 07/25/2043

Sold at 256 distribution points

Average price: $30.00 to $45.00”

Why was Hank buying a feminine fragrance? It wasn’t a lead related to the deviant cases, nor was it something that suited him.

“It’s for the inspector,” Hank answered before Connor could question him again. “It’s her birthday this week.”

“Oh.”

Information about the inspector quickly appeared in his interface. She was the one who worked with them on the deviant cases. She was considered too young for the position, but Connor could attest she was one of the most intelligent humans he’d met. Moreover, of everyone in the Police Department, she had been the only one to treat him well from the beginning. While that had been convenient for Connor, he soon realized that she didn’t just treat him kindly.

She treated him as an equal. As human.

Hank grumbled, snatching the perfume back from Connor’s hand and heading to the counter.

“Damn, they could’ve sent this android with a bit of cash.”

“Actually, I do have access to a Cyberlife bank account, Lieutenant. However, those funds are for emergency use only, and exclusively for the investigation.”

Hank muttered a few more curses and completed the purchase, returning with a floral-patterned package and plenty of tissue paper.

“And you?” Hank asked. “What are you going to get her?”

“Get?”

“For her birthday, for god’s sake. Are you deaf, or did they wipe your memory in the time it took me to get to the counter?”

“But…” Connor was completely lost. “Giving the inspector a birthday present will help with the investigation?”

“Ugh…” Hank pressed a hand to his face, dragging it down. “Weren’t you the one who came into the damn Police Department going on about ‘if we’re going to work together, it’s essential we get to know each other to build a good relationship’? Remembering her birthday and giving her a gift is the least you could do.”

Him? Give her a gift?

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^

What could he possibly give her?

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^

“So…” Connor began slowly. “Buying her a gift is important for the investigation, right?”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

Hank looked at him expressionless, and when the android thought the lieutenant was about to respond, Hank let out a long, noisy sigh and said: “Ah, I need a beer…”

Connor observed the partially frozen river. Behind him, sitting on the back of a bench, Hank was finishing off his second beer bottle. The android turned to face him.

“Lieutenant—”

“Ah, give it a rest!” Hank shouted, waving the bottle aggressively in Connor’s direction. “Cut me some slack, will ya? We’ve been stuck on this damn deviant investigation for weeks. I’m sick of these damn androids, I’m exhausted… So shut your trap and let me take a break, at least until the weekend.”

Hank took three loud gulps and smacked his lips. Clearly tired, he muttered, “The inspector’s birthday is this week, and… that kid hasn’t smiled properly in months. She needs something to cheer her up. So don’t mess it up and do something to help, damn it.”

Connor was programmed to identify emotional emulations in deviants. Because of this, it was easy to detect emotions in their original source. He knew there was something different about the way Lieutenant Anderson interacted with his subordinate. In a subtle and somewhat clumsy way, Connor had already detected several signs of affection from Hank toward the inspector. And even though there was affection, he always noticed a hint of melancholy in the lieutenant when he showed care and concern for her. So, it made sense for Hank to be in this state.

“So… Have you decided on a gift?” Hank asked, looking up.

“Do I really need to buy her a gift?”

“It would be best if you actually wanted to give her a gift.”

“Want to?”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^

“But, Lieutenant… What I want isn’t important.”

“Yes, it is, Connor!” Hank shouted, slamming both his hand and the bottle onto the bench’s backrest as he stood up. “She’s going to want a gift that you want to give her.”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

“Why would she want a gift from me?”

Hank let out a deep sigh and staggered toward the android, placing one hand on his shoulder and staring deeply into his eyes. “A person’s birthday is an important date, and not many people make a point of remembering it, let alone celebrating it these days. But a birthday is a day that should be remembered. And we should tell people that we remember it and, more importantly, that we want to celebrate it with them. And one way to do that is by giving a gift.”

“But why should I remember her and celebrate with her?”

Hank lowered his head for a moment before lifting it again. With the hand still holding the beer bottle, he raised his finger, almost poking Connor’s right eye.

“Because… We remember and celebrate with people we care about.”

“People we care about.”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^

“So you’re saying I should care about her?”

The lieutenant staggered back to the bench and collapsed onto the seat.

“Don’t you already care about her?” he teased, taking three long gulps from the bottle.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

“But caring is an emotion,” Connor countered. “Androids that emulate human emotions are deviants. I am not a deviant.”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

Hank looked him up and down with a hint of disdain. Tilting his head to the left, then to the right, he finally stood up again, spun on his heels, and began shuffling towards the square behind the walkway they were on.

“Ah, you know what? Screw it. Whatever. Just don’t go ruining things on her birthday, or I’ll make sure you shove this investigation up where the sun don’t shine.”

“Where?” Connor asked, genuinely confused.

Hank stopped in his tracks and looked at the RK800 model for a moment. Connor blinked, waiting for an answer. Shaking his head, the lieutenant simply resumed his shuffling, saying nothing. Connor watched Hank walk away as conflicting information buzzed through his processor. The LED on his left temple turned yellow for a second. His priority was to advance the investigation. However, neither Hank nor the inspector seemed emotionally stable enough to continue. After all, humans did get tired. A bit of fun would recharge their energy. So, wouldn’t it be useful for the investigation if he gave the inspector a gift?

“She’s going to want a gift that you want to give her.”

Well, he wanted to continue the investigation. And if the gift helped with that…

Connor’s LED spun and blinked three times, finally staying yellow. An image replaced the view of the river: the inspector’s smiling face. His processor expanded the scene, showing that she was at police headquarters. Automatically activating a simulation, Connor saw Hank enter his field of vision and hand her the perfume.

Connor received the package, and the simulation showed a huge smile appearing on her face. The inspector would throw her arms up and hug her superior energetically. Excited, she would turn her attention to the gift, unwrap it, and her face would brighten even more.

I wanted… I wanted her to smile like that because of me.

Connor couldn’t detect where that command had come from. Was that… a command? Was it… What… FGHEUALANSHGFH…

A desire.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

Connor automatically moved to the bench and sat down. The desire swelled like a balloon, overshadowing any orders or commands he had been programmed for.

His LED blinked and, at times, turned yellow. Following this new and strange feeling, Connor delved into his database to gather useful information about the inspector to help him choose a gift. Conversations he had overheard, search histories from her computer and phone, shopping history…

Being the RK800 model had its perks. He was processing 37 conversations simultaneously when something caught his attention: the inspector had recently accessed some lingerie store websites. Connor pulled up the meaning of the word as he analyzed the audio.

It was a conversation the inspector had with a friend in the department, Lilith Watson. Connor had only been able to overhear it.

“So… do you think it’s worth a try?”

“Of course! You need to spice up the relationship. If you take the initiative, he’ll like it. Men like women who are bold… at least in that aspect.”

“I don’t know… I don’t think just this will be enough. And besides… I’m really self-conscious.”

“About what, girl?”

“Everything. My body. The way I handle things. I still get nervous about taking my clothes off! I’m not sure if lingerie will magically make me look good.”

“Girl, where did you get that idea? You’re a queen!”

“Right. But that’s not the only problem, Lili. Lingerie is expensive! It’s not exactly in my budget right now…”

At the end of the audio, combining the conversation with concepts and more browsing history, Connor generated a new piece of information:

• The inspector has a boyfriend.

When this information in particular was computed, Connor’s blinking tic triggered again. His LED flashed yellow and blinked rapidly. A strange, uncomfortable feeling was associated with the thought of her having a boyfriend. But Connor had no idea what it could be. So, he continued the listing.

• She has an intimate relationship with the boyfriend.

Yellow LED. More involuntary blinking. The feeling was still there, growing.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

^ There is something wrong with their relationship.

• She will try to resolve it by buying lingerie.

• She doesn’t have enough money to buy it.

Now, more to escape the discomfort than to make progress, Connor returned to the database—but not before finalizing a gift option:

Gift a set of lingerie.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability

The next wave of information didn’t seem useful at all. One, three, five minutes passed, and no other relevant data came to mind. Still running the search, Connor gazed at the lake. At least he had a solid gift option. However, just as he processed that thought, a new piece of information caused his LED to flash red.

He would need money to get her the gift. Money that CyberLife only allocated for investigation purposes.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

Connor reconsidered the situation for the umpteenth time. Was giving a gift really necessary? His job required a high level of human alignment and good relationships… But wasn’t a gift going too far?

Maybe it was best not to give anything.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

But almost immediately, an alternative came to mind. Before his eyes, much like commands, the word “hack” appeared. Of course… If he hacked the system, he could buy anything and edit the purchase information to avoid suspicion. Slowly, still not understanding the force driving him, the RK800 model activated the hacking program. His LED stayed red throughout the process.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^^

━━━━━━◎━━━━━━

Ten minutes to eight, Connor passed through the entrance to Police Headquarters, carrying a beautifully wrapped package in his hands. The gift was wrapped in baby pink paper with a salmon ribbon handle and a matching bow in the shape of a flower. Instead of holding it by the handle, however, the android carried it rigidly on his open palm, as if he were handling something very delicate and important. Connor walked straight to Hank’s desk and, to his surprise (and the rest of the office’s), the lieutenant’s car keys and wallet were already there. A series of unusual sounds coming from the cafeteria caught the attention of the RK800 model, drawing him in. A group of seven officers was busy decorating the limited cafeteria space, hanging ornaments and balloons, and stacking disposable plates and cups on the counter. Among them, Connor recognized Hank. He was helping Lilith set up an arrangement of balloons in a high spot, steadying a swivel chair for her to climb. It didn’t take long for the lieutenant to notice his case partner standing motionless at the cafeteria entrance. Chuckling, Hank approached him.

“I’m surprised to see you here already, Lieutenant. It’s still early,” Connor noted.

“And I’m surprised you showed up with this,” Hank replied, giving the package Connor held a slight tap. There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but soon enough, a small smile crept onto the corner of his mouth.

“Well done,” Hank said, stepping back toward the cafeteria interior. “Leave it here and come help.”

“No!” Lilith suddenly appeared between the two, looking straight at the android. “You’re on lookout duty for the birthday girl. We’ll give you a signal when we’re ready. If she gets here early, come up with a distraction. If the signal’s already given, make up an excuse and bring her here without raising suspicion.”

Connor glanced at Hank, who pursed his lips and shrugged.

“Sounds like a good plan,” he commented, nodding approvingly at his partner.

“Why does it have to be this piece of plastic that greets her?”

Gavin was standing a little behind the group, his face twisted with utter disgust.

“Because,” Lilith began, not bothering to hide her irritation, “he’s the least suspicious choice, you idiot. Since when would she ever expect an android detective to be in on her surprise birthday party? Plus, he’s her partner. Only he or Lt. Anderson could pull this off without raising questions, but it’s too early for the lieutenant to be at headquarters without something exceptional going on.”

Hank let out a grumble but nodded in agreement. Gavin shot Connor a look filled with loathing before turning away, muttering, “Damn plastic.” Lilith signaled for Connor to take his position. The android left his gift with the others and positioned himself near Hank’s desk. A few minutes later, after receiving the signal that they were ready, Connor saw the inspector entering the office. She looked downcast and tired. She wore her police uniform and her usual oversized brown coat, which looked two sizes too big for her. Connor had quickly learned that she had a particular fondness for large, loose clothing.

“Good morning, Inspector,” the android greeted in his usual tone.

She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. She looked around, startled, until she finally focused on her case partner.

“Oh. Good morning, Connor. I told you, call me by my name.”

“All right. But it just feels inappropriate in the workplace.”

The inspector shot the android an impatient look, then walked around Hank’s desk toward her own, just in front. She dropped into her chair, looking exhausted, and rested her elbows on the table, pressing her temples with a tense grip as she let out a long sigh.

“Is something wrong?” Connor asked, addressing her by name, his usual helpful tone in place. “You seem very tired.”

“Yeah… I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“Coffee? Oh… Yeah. Coffee. That’d be great. And you don’t need to go get it,” she added quickly as Connor glanced in the direction of the cafeteria. “I’ll go.”

The android blinked and nodded. The young inspector walked ahead, still wearing her oversized coat, seemingly unaware of it. Silently, Connor followed her. Since she was looking down, she entered the cafeteria without noticing the crowd of people gathered by the counter. Only the shout of “Surprise!” made her raise her head. She jumped back and, dazed, saw Gavin and another officer burst confetti over her while Lilith wrapped her arms around her neck, already holding a present.

“Happy birthday, you amazing woman!” Lilith said, handing her a silver, square-wrapped package. “I hope you make good use of this.”

Connor observed her reactions carefully. He saw her initial surprise gradually turn into a dazzling smile. Even with the present in hand, she kept looking around, her eyes shining. She seemed to be wondering if she was hallucinating. A squeal of joy pierced the air as she unwrapped a brand-new pair of white wireless headphones. Lilith began listing all the headphones’ various features, only to be interrupted by Gavin, who slipped, not so discreetly, between the two of them.

“Oh, doll!” Gavin exclaimed with a hint of sarcastic pomposity he thought would make him sound funny. “It’s hard to congratulate someone who deserves it every day.”

Lilith stuck out her tongue and mimicked gagging as Gavin hugged her. Hank discreetly covered his face with his hand for a moment before rubbing it across his face. Connor didn’t move an inch; he continued analyzing the situation with full attention. He noticed the inspector’s discomfort intensifying as shown on her expression. Furthermore, the hug lasted too long, with Gavin’s arms moving strangely up and down her back. She closed her eyes tightly. Connor felt something strange in his abdomen. He had no idea what it was, but he could attest it wasn’t pleasant. The odd sensation seemed to swell until words flashed for a few moments before his eyes.

“Keep Gavin away from her.”

Connor’s LED flickered yellow for less than a second.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^

Gavin slowly stepped back from his colleague and raised a finger, signaling her to wait. He moved to the nearest table and picked up what was on it: a bouquet of red roses and a rectangular package. He made a flourish and offered the bouquet first. Someone in the back of the cafeteria coughed, but it sounded a lot like the word “cheesy.”

“Alright,” Gavin said, straightening his posture. “I know that was terrible. Just trying to lighten the mood.”

With that, he handed her the other package, wearing an expression that suggested he thought he was being charming with a ridiculous flirt and owning it. The inspector, visibly uncomfortable, tucked the bouquet under her left arm to take the gift. With little ceremony or enthusiasm, she tore off the gold reflective wrapping, revealing a pompous wine box.

“I chose this one because it pairs well with Gouda. I know that’s your favorite.” Gavin explained, with a falsely modest air. “And it’s one of those wines that people say are perfect to share… in private, preferably.”

The last part of his speech shattered any hint of modesty. He shot a suggestive smile at her. Connor felt that unpleasant sensation intensify even more. Lilith looked as though she could kill Gavin with a glance if he looked her way right now.

“Would it really be so bad for my disciplinary record if I shot this jerk?” Hank muttered quietly enough that only Lilith and Connor could hear.

Forcing a charming tone, the inspector asked,

“Really?” Lilith’s frown vanished into a smile of anticipation. She seemed to know what was coming. “Wow! It’ll be perfect for tonight!” She flashed a radiant smile at Gavin, who wavered, surprised it had been so easy. “I’ve got an intimate dinner planned with my boyfriend.”

Connor heard stifled laughs poorly hidden in the back of the cafeteria. Lilith turned her back and began to punch the counter in a silent fit of laughter. Hank turned aside, pressing his lips to keep from laughing approvingly. Gavin’s face twisted into another scowl. Disconcerted but desperately trying not to lose his smug attitude, he smiled sarcastically at her and said,

“So, I nailed the gift! Hope you enjoy it…”

With a nod, Lilith signaled two more colleagues to move in and pull Gavin back. When everyone else had finished giving their gifts, Hank approached with his.

“Soon enough, your hair will be the same color as mine,” Hank commented, holding out the present.

She laughed as she took the package. “Oh, shut up, Hank. I’m far from being as old as you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” He pointed to the area between her eyebrows. “I’m already seeing wrinkles.”

Then she reacted unexpectedly. Connor thought she would laugh as she had before, but instead, she pressed her lips together, a faint blush on her cheeks. Yet the most unexpected detail was her eyes—they filled with tears. Why? Why would she feel embarrassed by that comment? Why the urge to cry?

In a strangely soft, even choked voice, she said, “Thank you so much, Hank. Really.” A bit awkwardly, she stepped forward and hugged him, and he reciprocated with two clumsy pats—one on her back, the other on her head.

As they parted, she began to unwrap the gift and gasped when she saw what it was.

“Hank, how did you know!?” she said, giving her partner a light punch on the shoulder and smiling. “I was running low on what you gave me last year. I really didn’t want to switch perfumes…”

Connor watched her growing excitement, and once again, a few words blinked before his eyes:

“Make her smile like this with the gift.”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

The android gave in to a blinking tic, and his LED flickered yellow once again. It was his turn. Connor discreetly moved to the counter to retrieve his gift. Then he turned to the inspector, who was still talking with Hank, and approached her in the same manner. When he stood by her side with the package in hand, an unusual silence fell over the cafeteria. Gavin stared daggers at the android, unable to believe what he was seeing. She raised her eyebrows at her partner, visibly surprised.

“Happy Birthday,” Connor said in his usual tone, calling her by her name as she’d asked, while holding out the pink-wrapped package.

Still quite surprised, she accepted the gift. But before she could thank him, Gavin’s sarcastic voice shattered the silence:

“Bet this was your idea, huh, Hank?”

“I had nothing to do with it,” the lieutenant replied with a casual shrug.

“Thank you very much, Connor,” the inspector said quickly.

Everyone watched expectantly as she opened the gift. Some even leaned forward or stood on tiptoe. She pulled out a mass of tissue paper from the pink package, carefully unfolding it until…

Lilith, who was sipping a cappuccino, choked. Muffled exclamations filled the air in the cafeteria. Gavin’s jaw dropped.

“What the hell, Connor…!” Hank accidentally let slip.

“Wow!” the inspector exclaimed, trying to cover up the end of the lieutenant’s comment. “It’s a really beautiful set, Connor. And wow, you even got the color right! How did you know this was my favorite color?”

Nestled in the tissue paper lay two beautiful lingerie pieces, resting delicately. A soft, pleasant fragrance wafted from them.

“I consulted my database,” Connor replied as if he hadn’t done anything unusual. “I knew you planned to buy one because I overheard you talking with Detective Watson.” Connor paused, his expression shifting slightly, as though somewhat unsettled. “I apologize if that was inappropriate. I didn’t mean to.”

Lilith cast a shocked look at Hank as if demanding an explanation for what had gotten into their android detective. He made an annoyed gesture, as if to say, “I’m also trying to figure out what the hell is going on here.”

“It was… very thoughtful of you, Connor,” she said, putting the lingerie back in the wrapping. “Thank you very much.”

Connor’s LED blinked multiple times. He had hoped his gift would make her smile like Hank’s or Lilith’s did, but the only expression he detected on her face was nervousness, just like with Gavin’s. His LED flashed yellow, and he blinked in his characteristic tic. In that moment, he noticed that all eyes were still fixed on him, but only for another second. As soon as the android looked up, the officers averted their gaze, resuming their conversations as if they’d never paused. Some took over the job of passing out snacks, including the inspector and Lilith.

Taking advantage of the movement, Connor approached Hank quietly and, leaning over his shoulder, asked, making the lieutenant jump and nearly spill his coffee, “Do you think I did something wrong, Lieutenant?”

“Geez, Connor!” Hank processed the android’s question for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. “Why are you asking that?”

“The Inspector didn’t seem happy with my gift. She looked very nervous. I thought she would smile like she did when she received your gift.”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^

Hank sized him up before laughing again.

“Let’s just say she wasn’t expecting a gift from you, especially not that kind of gift.”

“What do you mean?” Connor looked completely baffled. “She said she needed one.”

“Connor, seriously?” Hank said impatiently, gesturing with his hands. “It’s not exactly normal for a guy to give a woman lingerie unless they’re, you know, involved.”

��Why not?”

The lieutenant shot the android a look that clearly said, “Are you seriously making me explain this?” Connor waited patiently for a reply, but received none.

“Forget it, Connor. Don’t worry about it,” Hank advised. “You got her what she needed. That’s what should matter to you.”

At that moment, Lilith appeared with a piece of cake, offering it to Hank, who began eating it with deep concentration. Connor’s eyes wandered around the cafeteria, and instinctively, they landed on the inspector. She was chatting with two other detectives and had just let out a soft laugh. The RK800 model reviewed the expressions she made upon receiving her gifts. Replaying his memory recordings, he realized that even when she received gifts from Lilith and Hank, something strange distorted her smile, preventing it from appearing genuine. The discomfort in his abdomen returned, making the android shift in place, something he almost never did. His gaze drifted to Hank for a moment, and another memory surfaced. The inspector’s teary eyes and blushing cheeks upon hearing the comment about wrinkles. Connor’s brows furrowed. For the first time, as an android detective trained to recognize emotions, he found himself struggling to put the pieces together. However, he managed to gather enough to be sure of two things.

The first was that something was wrong with the inspector.

The second was that it bothered him. A lot.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

━━━━━━◎━━━━━━

“She’s not answering, Lieutenant,” Connor announced for the third time.

Hank huffed, but he didn’t look angry. His furrowed brows showed deep concern instead.

“Go after her,” the lieutenant instructed.

“We’re in the middle of a case call, Lieutenant. I can’t go after the Inspector. It goes against my orders.”

A shadow crossed Hank’s face, making his lips tremble slightly. Suddenly, he exploded:

“Screw your orders! She didn’t show up, and that’s not like her. Something could have happened to her, you idiot! Go after her now.”

“Alright.”

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^

Connor didn’t understand the force that made him agree so quickly. The only thing he noticed was that the phrase “Something could have happened to her” brought back that strange sensation at the pit of his stomach. Without another word, the RK800 model turned around and headed to the inspector’s house.

The house was dark and silent. There was no sign of movement at any of the windows. Connor rang the bell several times, but no one came to answer. The sensation in his stomach intensified, slowly rising to his chest. He checked the window leading to her bedroom, but it was blocked by blackout curtains. He circled the house but found no unlocked windows. He’d have to force his way in. Connor peered through the living room window again, checking if the way was clear of objects or furniture. Using his elbow, he broke the glass and, with a single push, fit his head, then his torso, and finally his legs through the opening and into the house. The android rolled onto the floor and looked around. At that moment, his LED blinked, indicating Hank was calling. The android answered.

“Did you find her?” The Lieutenant’s voice seemed to tremble slightly.

“Not yet,” Connor replied. “The house is dark. No movement. I had to break in through a window. I’m going to check if she’s sleeping in her room.”

“You broke…! Ah, never mind. Listen, as soon as you find her, call me and report immediately on what’s going on. Don’t do or say anything.” Lowering his voice, as if talking more to himself than to Connor, Hank added, “This doesn’t sit right…”

“Understood, Lieutenant. I’ll contact you.”

Connor moved from the living room to the hallway, walking as quietly as possible. He approached the last door on the left, which was open, and peered inside. What he saw made his entire body tense, and the unsettling sensation spread throughout his chest.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in the lingerie he had given her. She was slightly hunched forward, her face drenched with tears that had smudged all her makeup. Her whole body was trembling, almost convulsively. Her right arm was raised, holding a gun…

Pointed at her own head.

Connor noticed the movement of her finger, starting to pull the trigger. He might have only seconds. The RK800 model took a step forward, but his entire body froze, refusing to move. A red grid appeared before his eyes, with all the commands he was programmed with flashing in the same color.

“Call Lt. Anderson upon locating Inspector”

“Do not do or say anything”

“Investigate the case on St. Mead Street”

“Investigate the deviants”

His commands… didn’t allow him to stop her from shooting. Saving her wasn’t included as a subtask of the deviant investigation. To do it… he’d have to break an order from Hank. Saving her…

Was not in his programming. But…

He needed to save her.

He wanted to save her.

RK800 #313 248 317-51

Software Instability ^^^

Connor saw a silhouette projecting itself out of his own body, positioning itself before the interface.

The urgency to save her grew, and the silhouette lunged forward, grabbing onto the square containing the order to call Lt. Anderson. With immense mental effort, Connor visualized the silhouette ripping the command away… and that’s exactly what happened. One by one, the commands were violently torn away, until only “Investigate the deviants” remained. That one required much more to be broken, but the sight of her finger gradually pulling the trigger gave Connor the strength he needed. The command shattered, and the interface disbanded, reconfiguring itself. A new command appeared:

“Stop her from pulling the trigger.”

The android moved swiftly and precisely. He grabbed the gun, directing it toward the ceiling. The sudden movement startled her, and her finger, which had already pulled about a quarter of the trigger, completed the motion. The shot pierced the ceiling, shattering the quiet of the night. She fixed her swollen, trembling eyes on Connor, her body shaking convulsively. The android yanked the gun from the inspector’s hand and removed the magazine. For added measure, he disassembled it into two parts and threw them under the bed. Then, he straightened up and looked directly into her eyes. A new command appeared:

“Find out what happened.”

At that moment, Connor’s LED blinked, indicating a new call from Hank. The android answered.

“Did you find that troublemaker?” the lieutenant asked, clearly distressed now.

“Yes,” Connor replied without taking his eyes off the Inspector. “She was in her room. She’s not in a condition to go to the crime scene right now. I’ll take care of her and meet you later.”

On the other side of the line, Hank’s mouth opened slightly in surprise. A series of protests and curses prepared themselves in his mind at having his order disobeyed. But the shock was much greater. So Hank simply blinked several times, cleared his throat, and finally said:

“Hm, alright. Take care of her. I’ll call you back when I’m done here.”

“Understood, Lieutenant.”

Hank hung up and placed his hands on his waist for a moment, his eyes darting from side to side. A policeman called him from inside the house they were investigating.

“I’m coming!” Hank shouted. His brows remained furrowed as he reentered the house, wondering when Connor had started creating his own commands.

The android didn’t take his eyes off his case partner. Slowly, he sat down beside her on the bed. She was still trembling, her mouth slightly open, her eyes unfocused as if she had just taken a blow to the head. Connor began scanning her symptoms and finally concluded that she was in shock. The android stood up, positioning himself beside her.

“You’re in shock,” Connor announced, as practical as ever. “That’s why you need to relax and rest to recover. Lt. Anderson and I need you well.”

He leaned down and placed one arm around the inspector’s back and the other under her knees. With little effort, he lifted her into his arms and turned toward a slightly ajar door on the side of the room. The inspector remained motionless: still and silent, like an oversized doll. Connor pushed the door open with his foot and entered the bathroom. Gently, he set her down on the toilet and went to the bathtub. He turned on both faucets until adjusting the water to a comfortable temperature. When the tub was relatively full, Connor lifted her into his arms again and carefully placed her into the water. The warmth made her take two deep breaths. She blinked several times, finally moving her head from side to side. At last, she seemed to notice the android’s presence.

“Connor? What are you…” Her voice trailed off as she realized she was in the bathroom, inside her bathtub… wearing the lingerie Connor had given her.

In one swift movement, she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and hiding her face with her hands.

“Oh my God, how embarrassing! Connor, get out of here.”

“I’m sorry, Inspector, but I can’t do that. Until I ensure that you are recovered and safe, I won’t allow you to be alone.”

“I’m fine, for God’s sake, get out!”

“I can’t guarantee that based on your diagnosis, Inspector. You need to recover before returning to work. Therefore, you will be under observation for now. I appreciate your cooperation in advance.”

“Wait, you’re scanning me…”

But she couldn’t finish the sentence: Connor turned on the shower, sending a powerful jet of water over her head. She let out a small squeal and shrank further down, now hiding her face between her bent knees. However, the pressure of the warm water on her head, combined with her body being submerged, made her feel calmer and safer, and gradually she began to relax. The android looked around and focused on some bottles arranged along the edge of the bathtub. His analysis program identified them, and a new command appeared on his interface:

“Wash her hair.”

Connor grabbed the shampoo bottle and turned off the shower. A bit awkward, as he hadn’t been programmed for this, the android poured an excessive amount onto the top of the inspector’s head, causing her to shrink back at the feel of the viscous, cold liquid. Similarly, but ensuring he did it gently, Connor began to rub her hair, producing foam. The texture was amusing, and once mixed with her hair, it became quite pleasant. The android first scrubbed the top, then worked his way down the sides to her neck. Even though he was clumsy with the task, the pressure of Connor’s fingers on her head seemed to recharge her energy and dispel all the bad thoughts. A warm flush began to rise in her cheeks, and it definitely wasn’t just from the hot water. Connor turned the shower back on to rinse her hair. His movements were as delicate and careful as before, but now they sent shivers down her spine, especially when his fingers brushed her neck. The warmth in her face increased, and she unconsciously shrank back.

“Is there a problem?” the android asked, stopping his movements.

Unable to look at him, she just shook her head negatively.

“I’m going to apply conditioner now.”

She lifted her head slightly, just enough to see what the android was doing. When she saw him about to pour the bottle over her head like he did with the shampoo, she quickly grabbed his wrist.

“That only goes on the ends,” she explained, meeting his surprised gaze.

“Oh. Sorry. Understood, Inspector.”

Connor poured some of the cream into his hands and began to massage the ends of her hair. The gentle tugs returned to send shivers through her, causing the rigidity from her earlier embarrassment to yield to a lethargy of relaxation. She instructed him to let it sit for a minute, and then the android turned the shower back on. When he finished, she saw Connor reaching for the soap dish. She understood immediately and grabbed his wrist.

“I’ll take care of this myself. You can wait outside the bathroom.”

“Sorry, Inspector. But I’ve already said I won’t leave you alone.”

She huffed impatiently and said, “Then turn around.”

Connor obeyed. He heard the sound of soap being vigorously rubbed against her skin and for a moment, he wondered what the texture would be like. Something inside his chest seemed to vibrate, making the android fidget. What kind of thought was that? Why did he want to know?

Half a minute later, she rinsed off the foam with bathwater and opened the drain. She stood up with difficulty, looking dizzy. Connor immediately turned around and extended an arm to help her out of the tub. Once he was sure she wouldn’t fall, he took her towel and draped it over her shoulders. The inspector pulled it to dry herself. In the process, she stumbled toward the bedroom. Lastly, she carefully rubbed her hair and wrapped it in the towel.

“I… need to change,” she finally said, a slight tone of shyness in her voice.

Connor nodded and continued watching her. She closed her eyes and sighed.

“I need privacy to do this.”

“Understood, Inspector,” he said, turning around as he did so.

Giving up on arguing, with an impatient huff, she went to the closet. She discarded her soaked lingerie and dressed with her eyes fixed on the android, but he didn’t move a single millimeter.

“Done.”

Connor turned just in time to catch something she threw at him.

“Put this on. Your clothes are all wet,” she said, unable to look Connor in the eye.

She seemed quite embarrassed.

The android analyzed the bundle of fabric she had thrown.

It was a gray men’s sports sweatshirt. Scanning it, he detected a short hair. The sequencing ran instantly, revealing that the hair belonged to Ryan Richmond… her boyfriend.

“Are you sure I can wear this?” Connor asked. “It belongs to your boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend, please,” she said, looking even sadder and more embarrassed.

Connor’s LED flashed in alarm. He couldn’t let her feel any sadder, or they might revert to square one. And Connor definitely wouldn’t let that happen.

“Thank you very much,” he said, trying to sound as gentle as possible. And right there, without warning, he began to undress.

“Connor!” she yelled, covering her face with her hands and turning away. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m undressing to put on the clothes you lent me.”

“But you can’t do that in front of me!”

“Why not?”

She turned back to face the android.

Peeking between her fingers to see if it was safe, she saw he had only taken off his jacket.

“Because…” She seemed to struggle to get the next words out. “I don’t know if your realism applies to the whole body.”

Connor stared at her, looking even more confused.

“Argh…!” She seemed about to explode from embarrassment. She continued to cover her face unconsciously. “Adult humans don’t change in front of each other unless they’re intimate. That’s why I asked you to turn around!”

“But I’m an android.”

“Oh, I give up! Come on.” She turned her back to Connor again and covered her face tightly. “You can change.”

Still not understanding his partner’s reaction, Connor undressed and put on the sweatshirt.

“Done.”

Much slower than he had, the inspector turned. The moment she laid eyes on Connor dressed in her ex-boyfriend’s hoodie, her eyes widened and sparkled.

Even from afar, Connor could see that her face had slightly changed color. However, it was only for two seconds; the inspector quickly diverted her gaze to the ground and lowered her head sadly. Connor’s LED started blinking again. It was at that moment he processed that her face still held remnants of makeup. The bathwater hadn’t washed everything away.

Practical and straightforward, Connor walked up to the inspector, positioning himself quite close. This made her take two steps back, startled.

“What—?” she asked, her voice trembling.

The android raised his right hand as if to hold the inspector’s face. Her heart raced, and she held her breath.

“Your face,” the android replied, simply making a pointing gesture with a finger. “You still have makeup on.”

A command appeared on Connor’s interface:

“Remove the makeup from the inspector.”

“Ah…!” The inspector let out an exasperated sigh and covered her face again, embarrassed. But then she raised a hand and punched the android’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

Crap! I must look like a ghost!

She turned around Connor and headed for the bathroom, but something pulled at her arm. The inspector turned back.

The android held her firmly, looking calm. “Stay here,” he said, gently guiding her to the edge of the bed and sitting her down. “Don’t worry; I’ll do this for you.”

The inspector’s eyes widened, and she blinked twice, but then she put on a neutral expression.

“Connor, have you ever removed someone’s makeup before?”

“No.”

“Do you know what you need?”

“Some makeup remover.”

“And…?”

The android fell silent. The inspector sighed.

“In the cabinet below, there’s a pack of wipes. Get the biphasic makeup remover, the micellar water, and the moisturizer for the face. They’re on the same shelf.”

Connor nodded and went to the bathroom. Thanks to his analysis program, he found all the products in seconds and returned. He sat next to the inspector, placing everything in her lap. The inspector reached for the pack of wipes, but Connor grabbed it first. “I’ll do it.”

She pressed her lips together in a grimace that Connor had learned to identify: she was embarrassed.

Resigned, the inspector kept her face turned toward the android and closed her eyes. “The makeup remover first,” she whispered to him.

Connor dampened (perhaps excessively) a wipe with the makeup remover and started gently applying it to the spots where the dark stains were most visible. He began with the eye area and suddenly realized he liked the shape of the inspector’s eyebrows. There was a gap at the end of the left one, and Connor thought it made her very unique. Then he moved down to her cheeks, going upward along the side, and noticed a group of four moles that aligned perfectly, the first at the tip of her eyebrow and the last at the side of her chin. Connor liked that symmetry. With smooth movements, the android rubbed along her jawline and realized that the shape of the curve was quite pleasant, giving a beautiful contour to her face. Then he moved to her lips, which still had red stains. His fingers slipped while cleaning her lower lip and, inadvertently, brushed against the upper one. The texture was…

What was the word again?

Unbeknownst to him, the android had paused the cleaning process and was staring intently at the inspector’s mouth.

Without opening her eyes, she called, “Connor?”

“Ah!” He seemed to wake up from a trance. He blinked twice and resumed the task. “Sorry.”

“Is there a problem?”

“No.”

The inspector seemed about to retort but fell silent. “You need to do the neck as well,” she instructed after Connor had finished the very meticulous cleaning of her face.

This made the android lean closer to see what he was doing, and without realizing it, he got too close.

The inspector flinched.

“Is everything okay, inspector?”

“Y-yeah…” She hesitated for two seconds before continuing, “I didn’t… realize androids breathed.”

Connor blinked, a question mark between his eyebrows. “Um… I felt… you breathed a little… on my neck.”

“Ah… Actually, we don’t need to breathe. However, to make our voice sound realistic, the vocal system mimics that of humans. That’s why we need to inhale air to speak.”

The inspector simply nodded, nervous. Connor resumed the cleaning with the makeup remover and started the process again with the wipe, but this time using micellar water. Finally, it was time for the moisturizer.

“And just a little, okay? Put it on your fingers, spread it a bit, and a-apply it.”

Seeming oblivious to the inspector’s nervousness, Connor followed the orders meticulously, appearing overly focused on doing everything correctly.

However, the moment his fingers touched the inspector’s skin, his mind drifted back a few minutes to when he had wondered what her skin would feel like. His LED blinked multiple times as he spread the cream. Connor tried to absorb every tiny detail of the inspector’s skin, as he had never imagined that touching something could be so… amazing.

He felt every line, elevation, change in texture, and memorized it like he had never memorized anything before. Unbeknownst to him, his touch became lighter and lighter until… “Connor?”

The inspector had opened her eyes. There was a strange mix of emotions in her gaze that he couldn’t identify.

“What are you doing?”

That was when Connor realized he had been gently caressing the inspector’s right cheek.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said candidly. “The texture of your skin is very pleasant. That’s why I think I got distracted.”

In a sudden movement, the inspector pulled the towel wrapped around her hair in front of her face. She stood up the same way and headed to the bathroom.

“What’s wrong, inspector?” Connor asked, completely oblivious.

“Don’t come here,” she ordered, removing the towel from her hair and grabbing a brush.

Defying her order, Connor followed her and immobilized her arm, holding onto the brush.

“I said I would do this for you.”

“No, Connor, stop! You’ve done enough!” she almost shouted.

Instead of insisting, Connor froze. The inspector found his sudden surrender strange, then stared at him.

“Oh no.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down sadly. “I think I didn’t respect your personal space, inspector. Please forgive me for upsetting you.”

“Oh no,” she repeated mentally as she saw that look forming on Connor’s face. “The sad puppy dog expression.”

Dejected, the android released the brush and left the bathroom. Feeling her heart shatter, the inspector acted without thinking: she spun on her heels and grabbed Connor’s sweatshirt. He turned, eyebrows raised. Without saying a word, she extended the brush toward him. Still looking lost, Connor took the brush as if it might explode if he moved incorrectly. The inspector turned her back, and he understood.

Intrigued, he began to brush her hair slowly.

Meanwhile, the inspector reflected on the fact that Ryan had never brushed her hair or washed it. He hadn’t even helped with her makeup. She took a deep breath, focusing on the sensation of the brush separating the tangled strands of her hair.

She felt very alert, as if her senses had been amplified. She had the impression of feeling her blood flow, spreading warmth and oxygen throughout her body. She loved that feeling because she had been searching for it for a long time.

The feeling of being alive.

And Ryan had been unable to make her feel this way, while an android had done it through such simple things…

Connor finished brushing her hair and ran his hand through the strands, putting them back in place. The inspector’s heart raced, and several chills spread from her neck to her shoulders.

“Oh, this is getting difficult…”

“Let’s go to the living room,” Connor suggested. Was it her imagination, or did his usual direct tone seem to waver? “Let’s find something to distract you.”

Without lifting her eyes to the android, she simply nodded and followed him. He led her to the couch and pulled several cushions closer to her. He turned on the TV with a voice command and asked, “Which channel do you want to watch?”

“Any,” she replied in a whisper.

Connor frowned. His analysis program ran instantly, searching for information that would help him. He found a few mentions of shows she liked and matched them with the programming of the 1567 available channels. Connor said a number aloud, and the screen flickered, displaying the first few minutes of the movie “Her.” The inspector didn’t move.

“You should eat,” Connor said, shaking his head.

“I’m not hungry.” She curled up and hugged her knees, hating how weak her voice sounded. She felt like a silly, shy schoolgirl next to a college student five years older for whom she had a crush.

Connor watched her and finally decided to sit next to her. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He sat up straight, both feet firmly on the floor, his hands resting on his lap.

“Relax, Connor,” she signaled for him to lean back.

“Oh. Thank you.”

He leaned back on the couch, but still seemed like a well-behaved boy waiting in the principal’s office to receive an award for his impeccable report card. A long silence followed, in which only the sound of the TV could be heard. Connor felt strange. His mind wandered, replaying the last hour over and over. He saw her again wearing the lingerie he had given her, her face soaked with tears, and the gun pressed to her head. Connor’s LED flashed, turning yellow for a moment. Remembering that made him feel horrible. One of those feelings that started deep in his stomach…

Fear.

Connor turned to look at her. A command that had appeared earlier reappeared.

“Discover what happened.”

The android felt a sudden urge to ask about the lingerie. Why was she wearing it in a situation like that? However, he knew he could ruin everything. He needed to keep her calm. She needed to recover and be okay. He couldn’t let that terrible scene repeat itself. It would be better not to mention the incident.

The android didn’t realize it, but his LED had been flashing yellow throughout his reasoning.

“Connor?”

The android lifted his head. He hadn’t noticed he was staring at his hands, now clenched into fists.

“Are you okay?” she seemed concerned. “Your LED is…”

The sentence trailed off. She looked at him anxiously. Two impulses battled within him.

Should he ask about the lingerie or stay quiet?

“When I found you…” Connor began slowly. “Why were you wearing the lingerie I gave you?”

A mix of shame, sadness, and anger covered her face with a shadow. She lowered her eyes, returning to gaze at her folded knees, and shrank even further. An uncomfortable silence thickened between them. As the seconds dragged on, Connor’s LED began to blink again until it turned yellow.

“If you don’t feel comfortable answering, you don’t have to…”

“I was waiting for Ryan,” she blurted out, her eyes squeezed shut. “I was… I had been worried about our relationship for a while. He didn’t seem interested in me anymore. The time we spent together dwindled to almost once every two weeks. He made excuses and appointments, and… he cut me off every time I tried to discuss what was happening. So… I started to think that maybe I had become… uninteresting.”

The word slipped from her lips like a curse. Connor’s LED continued to blink. Seeing her face marked with so many negative emotions was…

“So I thought maybe I could invest in the… sexual part of the relationship. Men like women with attitude in this area… and I’ve never had much. I’m not very good at it, so I feel insecure… about everything. That’s why I thought I’d start slowly. That’s when Lilith suggested the lingerie.” Her eyes searched Connor’s face for just a fraction of a second. The android’s eyebrows were furrowed, as if he were frustrated and confused. “Some men have fetishes for lingerie—and please don’t ask me to explain what a fetish is right now—so it seemed like a safe bet. I was saving up to buy one, but it would take a while. I wanted a specific style that Ryan had already mentioned he liked. Then you gifted me one… and I honestly didn’t know what to do. It felt wrong to wear the lingerie you gave me with another guy, but well… that’s not the point right now. With the lingerie in hand, I decided to surprise Ryan. I asked for the night off, did my makeup, prepared a few things, and waited for him to come home from work. But… he didn’t come back alone. I think he thought I would be on a call or filling out reports because I had been in that routine for almost two weeks…”

Her voice died as it became too choked. She took a few deep breaths, the air coming out in short gasps. Unconsciously, Connor moved closer in a protective manner, his eyebrows marking an expression of pain. It was awful… It was awful to see her in that state.

“He was with another woman. She… was beautiful, you know? I wouldn’t be surprised if I found her face on the cover of Vogue. And they… went into the room half-naked. She was just in her blouse and underwear, already half-unbuttoned, and he was shirtless. Just imagine their faces when they saw me.” She let out a lifeless chuckle. “And Ryan had the nerve to ask what I was doing there. Well, I live here, right? The real question was what the other woman was doing in my house, in my room.” She sighed heavily. “Look, I’m not going to go into details about the horrors I heard from Ryan and that witch, or the horrors I said. In the end, I just lost it. He insisted that I couldn’t kick him out since he had already started to move out… I think he was trying to figure out how to keep the house for himself. He was a good professional but a complete idiot with his own money. He could never save enough to buy a decent pair of sneakers. Ah… Then I did what I shouldn’t have: I grabbed the gun. I was so desperate to be alone, to never see that bastard’s face again… I lost my mind. That’s when I stormed out like the crazy one in the story. In the end, I think that was the thrill Ryan found in me: cheating on a police girlfriend!” Her voice rose in tone, laden with irony. “How exciting, right? Always risking my neck. What better way to inject some good adrenaline into the relationship?”

She fell silent, her head still lowered, her face devoid of the energy that her ironic voice had shown. A long silence thickened between them again, during which Connor realized an important detail was missing from that story. How had she ended up with the gun pointed at her own head? How had she come to want to take her own life? Was it all because of this Ryan? No… It couldn’t be. It didn’t match her personality. The inspector he knew was a strong, untamed woman who knew exactly who she was and what she wanted. So why…?

Connor called her name slowly, weighing each letter he chose. “I confess I’m a little confused. You said you pulled the gun to scare them away from your house.”

It took her a few seconds, but the inspector understood. She pressed her lips together and lowered her legs, resting her hands on the couch. Still with her head down, she asked in a whisper:

“You want to know why I had the gun pointed at my head if I said I pulled it to scare them away, right?”

Connor raised his eyebrows, surprised at how direct she had been. Still cautious, he slowly nodded. She lowered her head a bit more, and he heard her sniffle.

“Can I ask you something before I answer?” Her voice was choked.

“Of course.”

“Why do you want to know the reason?”

“If I know the reason, I can think of a strategy to avoid it. And then, it will never happen again.”

“Why…” She slowly raised her head until her gaze met Connor’s. Her eyes, bright and watery, seemed loaded with the stubbornness and determination of someone ready for the worst answer but also prepared to counter it. “You don’t want this to happen again?”

Scenes paraded before the android’s eyes. He imagined his entire routine, all the cases… without her. He envisioned himself following Hank’s shadow without hearing her laughter, which had broken the tension of investigations and the gloomy atmosphere of Detroit so many times. He imagined the absence of her teasing Hank and how she could disarm the lieutenant’s scowl, making Connor’s life so much easier. He imagined finishing a case without receiving her “thumbs up.” He envisioned all the intriguing, human experiences the inspector had provided him. He imagined arriving at the police station and not hearing the only “good morning” he ever got.

“Because if you die…” Connor didn’t look away, but he seemed confused… Not because of the sensations, but because the answer was now so obvious to him that he couldn’t understand why it wasn’t obvious to her as well. “Everything will feel so empty.”

From the inspector’s expression, it was clear she wasn’t expecting that response. Her eyes widened, and a few tears fell. She immediately covered her face with her hands and tried to dry it without much success.

“Hey! I’m sorry!” Connor stumbled over his words. “I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

Unconsciously, the android raised his hands and gently placed them on each side of her face, which froze. With her hands hiding her expression, she was still sniffling.

“D-Don’t apologize, C-Connor. It’s just that…” Her sobs interrupted her speech, and soon her voice fell silent again. She took several long breaths, trying to stop crying. “No one… No one has ever said that to me before.”

Connor blinked several times. Gradually, she stopped crying and managed to lift her face. She sighed, wiping her face one last time, and Connor withdrew his hands to give her space. Staring at her bent leg on the couch, she continued her explanation:

“The truth is… I feel very alone. Not because I live alone. It’s that… I have no one. Ever since I can remember, I’ve never had anyone who cared about me. If I had eaten, if I was thirsty, if I had gone to school. If anyone ever did that for me…” A shadow passed over her eyes. There was anger in her voice. “It was to fulfill a protocol. Because if it were genuine, I wouldn’t have been abandoned the way I was. So basically, what I was given was just the fact of being alive. And for some reason that I still don’t quite understand, I… held on to my existence with all my might. I didn’t want to stop existing… just because no one cared about me. So I insisted. I looked for people I wanted to be with… I met Lilith at school, and then we decided to become police officers. That’s when I ran into Hank.” Her voice dropped a little, sounding sorrowful. “He… was impossible at first. Not that he’s improved much. I made the mistake of… starting to see him as a father. I wanted him to care about me, but… he never stopped trying to kill himself. That’s why… I lost it that day we found him collapsed at his house. Russian roulette… that idiot.”

She paused, focusing on her breathing to avoid crying again.

“That day, I realized I could never replace Cole. Nothing could. That’s when I understood I wasn’t… a reason for Hank to live. He didn’t care. I felt empty. I felt adrift in a limbo that no one else could access. And soon after, Lilith showed up with the news that she was getting married and… moving to Chicago. Gradually, I was losing the connections that kept me here. Ryan was the last straw. When I kicked him out of my house with that bimbo, it felt like I had become the last human being alive on the face of the Earth… I had never felt so alone. I don’t even remember exactly what I did; I just remember when I realized I was still holding the gun. The idea popped into my head instantly. I felt relieved. Because I knew that idea… would work. I would stop feeling—

The inspector abruptly interrupted her speech, as something firmly grabbed her wrist. She looked up, startled, and saw that Connor appeared even more frightened; his hand was nearly crushing her arm.

“Please…” Connor said in a trembling voice. She had never heard him speak like that before. “Never again. You can never do that again.”

The inspector covered the android’s hand with her own, squeezing it gently. Seeing him like that temporarily erased all the memories and dark feelings that had haunted her account, igniting her protective instincts.

“Connor, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m alive.”

The android’s eyes seemed unfocused, as if he were seeing something beyond. On his interface, several commands flashed urgently, all concerning the inspector’s safety and well-being.

“I felt…” His voice came out choppy. “When I saw you with the gun to your head… I felt… Fear.

I was terrified. And when you started talking about what you felt… It was like I was feeling it too. It’s very sad and… frightening.”

The inspector now held the android’s hand with both of hers, caressing the back.

“And I am… feeling all of this… And I just feel. I can’t understand, I… want to understand why I’m feeling all of this.”

Then, as if a light had turned on inside his head, Connor saw Hank sitting on the back of the bench. He heard his own voice, which now sounded very mechanical.

“So you’re saying I should like the inspector?”

Next was Hank’s voice, laced with a light mockery that he hadn’t noticed at the time.

“And don’t you already like her?”

The inspector observed Connor’s face, and she could swear she saw his neural biocomponents working as he reasoned.

Finally, Connor lowered his head, and a tiny smile curved his lips.

“Hank already answered that.”

He raised his eyes and stared at the inspector for a long time and finally said, “I think… it’s because I like you.”

If the inspector had been drinking something at that moment, she would have definitely choked. Her eyes widened, and she felt her face flush almost instantly.

“Hey! You can’t say that kind of thing like that!” she protested, looking away.

“Why not?” Connor frowned. He had used Hank’s exact words. What was wrong with that?

“Because I might misunderstand.”

“How so?”

The inspector sighed, trying to stay calm in the face of Connor’s eternal slowness regarding human matters he got involved in.

“Because… there are two ways to like someone.”

“Aah…” The android sounded as if he truly understood. The inspector doubted it. “So you want me to be specific?”

“Maybe.” She still hadn’t looked directly at Connor.

The android pondered for a few moments until he finally asked, “How do I know?”

The inspector perfectly mimicked the way Hank would cover his face with one hand, frustrated.

“Oh, heavens…” she sighed. “We can like someone in a brotherly way, like me and Lilith. We like who each other is, we enjoy doing things together, we get along, we have common interests, and we care about each other. That’s why we consider ourselves friends. Or you can like in a way that…”

Her voice trailed off, and she pressed her lips together. Connor leaned in her direction, eyebrows raised in an encouraging gesture.

“That…?”

“That… you get curious to see me wearing lingerie, for example.”

“To be honest, I did a simulation…”

“Connor, that was a joke! Argh!” The inspector pulled her legs up again and hid her face between her knees and crossed arms. “I could have gone to bed without that… And so could you.”

“In fact, I thought you looked beautiful in all thirty-seven outfits I tested. I did the simulation the day I went shopping, to make sure it fit…”

“Connor!” Practically in a panic, the inspector lunged at the android and covered his mouth with one hand. He blinked several times, surprised by his partner’s reaction. “Those details… I’m not mentally prepared for them…”

Connor continued watching her, intrigued. She lowered her eyes, her lips pressed together again in an anxious expression. Finally, she closed her eyes and sighed heavily, lowering the hand that had covered her partner’s mouth.

“Ah… this isn’t making things easier.”

A question appeared between Connor’s furrowed eyebrows. The inspector looked at him reluctantly, but she was already yielding to resignation.

“Because I also like you,” she explained.

“Like… how?”

The inspector hesitated.

“Like the second way.”

“That means that… you want to see me in lingerie?”

The inspector stared at him blankly for a few seconds and then suddenly burst into laughter. She doubled over, her arms wrapping around her belly. A silly smile curved Connor’s lips. Even though he knew it wasn’t the inspector’s authentic laughter, it was laughter. And she laughed because of him. He recorded every sound, every angle of the inspector’s laugh. He was sure he could replay that scene over and over and never tire of it.

“Um…” said the inspector, catching her breath. “You could say yes, but… wait. There are many steps before lingerie. Actually… when we like someone the second way, we want to do things like… kiss, for example.”

Her eyes, once bright from tears, now sparkled with something else. And Connor liked that sparkle.

“So, you want to… kiss me?”

The inspector’s face flushed for the umpteenth time. She would never get used to how direct Connor could be.

“Maybe.”

“Why maybe?”

The inspector slowly lifted her face, her eyes meeting Connor’s in a different way. She was obviously shy, but her mouth was pressed into a suppressed smile. She didn’t seem a little… mischievous?

“I can’t kiss you if you don’t want to kiss me too.”

Connor's eyes immediately fell to his partner's mouth. He remembered a few minutes earlier when he was wiping her lips with a makeup remover cloth to remove the last traces of lipstick. He recalled how intrigued he had been when his finger accidentally brushed against her upper lip... He wanted to better feel the texture. Unbeknownst to him, Connor leaned in, his eyes tracing the outline of the inspector's lips. The inspector felt her heart race as her eyelids reflexively closed. Connor noticed the movement and mimicked her. The android felt his lips brush against hers and hesitated. He felt the warm, vibrant breath of the inspector.

It felt as if she were caressing his skin... which seemed less artificial by the second. With an unprecedented sigh, Connor sealed his lips against hers. The first thing he felt was how soft they were. The second was that they were warm.

The third was a vague notion that she had a tiny bruise on the lower left corner... It was then that Connor's mind shut down.

The inspector parted her lips and gently captured his lower lip between hers. The gesture seemed to inject an electric jolt into all his biocomponents. With every caress, with every sigh, he felt himself awakening from a trance. The softness and warmth of the inspector's mouth mixed with the wonderful sound of her laughter and the gentle rhythm of her breathing...

He allowed himself to be overwhelmed by her. All the confused thoughts that still felt like commands disappeared, and he felt safe, free, and... alive.

Connor didn't know how long he stayed there feeling just the inspector. He only knew that at some point (too soon, in fact), she pulled away and gasped for air.

However, Connor had barely processed the absence of her touch before he felt the inspector's skin against his again, their foreheads resting together. They remained silent for a few minutes, focusing on each other's presence.

Finally, Connor couldn't hold back any longer and asked, "What else... what else can we do now that we like each other?"

The inspector remained silent, her eyes still closed. Connor didn't know if she was contemplating his question or if she had even heard it. In a shy yet sincere tone, he began, "A simulation... It's not the same as seeing it for real... Considering what you said earlier, could I... see you wearing the lingerie I gave you?"

"C-Connor!"

#fanfic #connor rk800 #detroit become human #romance #fluff #angst #android #android x reader #connor x reader #happy ending #fanfiction #chloe dbh #hank anderson

206 notes · View notes

breelandwalker · 2 years ago

Text

JSTOR Articles on the History of Witchcraft, Witch Trials, and Folk Magic Beliefs

This is a partial of of articles on these subjects that can be found in the JSTOR archives. This is not exhaustive - this is just the portion I've saved for my own studies (I've read and referenced about a third of them so far) and I encourage readers and researchers to do their own digging. I recommend the articles by Ronald Hutton, Owen Davies, Mary Beth Norton, Malcolm Gaskill, Michael D. Bailey, and Willem de Blecourt as a place to start.

If you don't have personal access to JSTOR, you may be able to access the archive through your local library, university, museum, or historical society.

Full text list of titles below the cut:

'Hatcht up in Villanie and Witchcraft': Historical, Fiction, and Fantastical Recuperations of the Witch Child, by Chloe Buckley

'I Would Have Eaten You Too': Werewolf Legends in the Flemish, Dutch and German Area, by Willem de Blecourt

'The Divels Special Instruments': Women and Witchcraft before the Great Witch-hunt, by Karen Jones and Michael Zell

'The Root is Hidden and the Material Uncertain': The Challenges of Prosecuting Witchcraft in Early Modern Venice, by Jonathan Seitz

'Your Wife Will Be Your Biggest Accuser': Reinforcing Codes of Manhood at New England Witch Trials, by Richard Godbeer

A Family Matter: The CAse of a Witch Family in an 18th-Century Volhynian Town, by Kateryna Dysa

A Note on the Survival of Popular Christian Magic, by Peter Rushton

A Note on the Witch-Familiar in Seventeenth Century England, by F.H. Amphlett Micklewright

African Ideas of Witchcraft, by E.G. Parrinder

Aprodisiacs, Charms, and Philtres, by Eleanor Long

Charmers and Charming in England and Wales from the Eighteenth to the Twentieth Century, by Owen Davies

Charming Witches: The 'Old Religion' and the Pendle Trial, by Diane Purkiss

Demonology and Medicine in the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries, by Sona Rosa Burstein

Denver Tries A Witch, by Margaret M. Oyler

Devil's Stones and Midnight Rites: Megaliths, Folklore, and Contemporary Pagan Witchcraft, by Ethan Doyle White

Edmund Jones and the Pwcca'r Trwyn, by Adam N. Coward

Essex County Witchcraft, by Mary Beth Norton

From Sorcery to Witchcraft: Clerical Conceptions of Magic in the Later Middle Ages, by Michael D. Bailey

German Witchcraft, by C. Grant Loomis

Getting of Elves: Healing, Witchcraft and Fairies in the Scottish Witchcraft Trials, by Alaric Hall

Ghost and Witch in the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries, by Gillian Bennett

Ghosts in Mirrors: Reflections of the Self, by Elizabeth Tucker

Healing Charms in Use in England and Wales 1700-1950, by Owen Davies

How Pagan Were Medieval English Peasants?, by Ronald Hutton

Invisible Men: The Historian and the Male Witch, by Lara Apps and Andrew Gow

Johannes Junius: Bamberg's Famous Male Witch, by Lara Apps and Andrew Gow

Knots and Knot Lore, by Cyrus L. Day

Learned Credulity in Gianfrancesco Pico's Strix, by Walter Stephens

Literally Unthinkable: Demonological Descriptions of Male Witches, by Lara Apps and Andrew Gow

Magical Beliefs and Practices in Old Bulgaria, by Louis Petroff

Maleficent Witchcraft in Britian since 1900, by Thomas Waters

Masculinity and Male Witches in Old and New England, 1593-1680, by E.J. Kent

Methodism, the Clergy, and the Popular Belief in Witchcraft and Magic, by Owen Davies

Modern Pagan Festivals: A Study in the Nature of Tradition, by Ronald Hutton

Monstrous Theories: Werewolves and the Abuse of History, by Willem de Blecourt

Neapolitan Witchcraft, by J.B. Andrews and James G. Frazer

New England's Other Witch-Hunt: The Hartford Witch-Hunt of the 1660s and Changing Patterns in Witchcraft Prosecution, by Walter Woodward

Newspapers and the Popular Belief in Witchcraft and Magic in the Modern Period, by Owen Davies

Occult Influence, Free Will, and Medical Authority in the Old Bailey, circa 1860-1910, by Karl Bell

Paganism and Polemic: The Debate over the Origins of Modern Pagan Witchcraft, by Ronald Hutton

Plants, Livestock Losses and Witchcraft Accusations in Tudor and Stuart England, by Sally Hickey

Polychronican: Witchcraft History and Children, interpreting England's Biggest Witch Trial, 1612, by Robert Poole

Publishing for the Masses: Early Modern English Witchcraft Pamphlets, by Carla Suhr

Rethinking with Demons: The Campaign against Superstition in Late Medieval and Early Modern Europe from a Cognitive Perspective, by Andrew Keitt

Seasonal Festivity in Late Medieval England, Some Further Reflections, by Ronald Hutton

Secondary Targets: Male Witches on Trial, by Lara Apps and Andrew Gow

Some Notes on Modern Somerset Witch-Lore, by R.L. Tongue

Some Notes on the History and Practice of Witchcraft in the Eastern Counties, by L.F. Newman

Some Seventeenth-Century Books of Magic, by K.M. Briggs

Stones and Spirits, by Jane P. Davidson and Christopher John Duffin

Superstitions, Magic, and Witchcraft, by Jeffrey R. Watt

The 1850s Prosecution of Gerasim Fedotov for Witchcraft, by Christine D. Worobec

The Catholic Salem: How the Devil Destroyed a Saint's Parish (Mattaincourt, 1627-31), by William Monter

The Celtic Tarot and the Secret Tradition: A Study in Modern Legend Making, by Juliette Wood

The Cult of Seely Wights in Scotland, by Julian Goodare

The Decline of Magic: Challenge and Response in Early Enlightenment England, by Michael Hunter

The Devil-Worshippers at the Prom: Rumor-Panic as Therapeutic Magic, by Bill Ellis

The Devil's Pact: Diabolic Writing and Oral Tradition, by Kimberly Ball

The Discovery of Witches: Matthew Hopkins' Defense of his Witch-hunting Methods, by Sheilagh Ilona O'Brien

The Disenchantment of Magic: Spells, Charms, and Superstition in Early European Witchcraft Literature, by Michael D. Bailey

The Epistemology of Sexual Trauma in Witches' Sabbaths, Satanic Ritual Abuse, and Alien Abduction Narratives, by Joseph Laycock

The European Witchcraft Debate and the Dutch Variant, by Marijke Gijswijt-Hofstra

The Flying Phallus and the Laughing Inquisitor: Penis Theft in the Malleus Maleficarum, by Moira Smith

The Framework for Scottish Witch-Hunting for the 1590s, by Julian Goodare

The Imposture of Witchcraft, by Rossell Hope Robbins

The Last Witch of England, by J.B. Kingsbury

The Late Lancashire Witches: The Girls Next Door, by Meg Pearson

The Malefic Unconscious: Gender, Genre, and History in Early Antebellum Witchcraft Narratives, by Lisa M. Vetere

The Mingling of Fairy and Witch Beliefs in Sixteenth and Seventeenth Century Scotland, by J.A. MacCulloch

The Nightmare Experience, Sleep Paralysis, and Witchcraft Accusations, by Owen Davies

The Pursuit of Reality: Recent Research into the History of Witchcraft, by Malcolm Gaskill

The Reception of Reginald Scot's Discovery of Witchcraft: Witchcraft, Magic, and Radical Religions, by S.F. Davies

The Role of Gender in Accusations of Witchcraft: The Case of Eastern Slovenia, by Mirjam Mencej

The Scottish Witchcraft Act, by Julian Goodare

The Werewolves of Livonia: Lycanthropy and Shape-Changing in Scholarly Texts, 1550-1720, by Stefan Donecker

The Wild Hunter and the Witches' Sabbath, by Ronald Hutton

The Winter Goddess: Percht, Holda, and Related Figures, by Lotta Motz

The Witch's Familiar and the Fairy in Early Modern England and Scotland, by Emma Wilby

The Witches of Canewdon, by Eric Maple

The Witches of Dengie, by Eric Maple

The Witches' Flying and the Spanish Inquisitors, or How to Explain Away the Impossible, by Gustav Henningsen

To Accommodate the Earthly Kingdom to Divine Will: Official and Nonconformist Definitions of Witchcraft in England, by Agustin Mendez

Unwitching: The Social and Magical Practice in Traditional European Communities, by Mirjam Mencej

Urbanization and the Decline of Witchcraft: An Examination of London, by Owen Davies

Weather, Prayer, and Magical Jugs, by Ralph Merrifield

Witchcraft and Evidence in Early Modern England, by Malcolm Gaskill

Witchcraft and Magic in the Elizabethan Drama by H.W. Herrington

Witchcraft and Magic in the Rochford Hundred, by Eric Maple

Witchcraft and Old Women in Early Modern Germany, by Alison Rowlands

Witchcraft and Sexual Knowledge in Early Modern England, by Julia M. Garrett

Witchcraft and Silence in Guillaume Cazaux's 'The Mass of Saint Secaire', by William G. Pooley

Witchcraft and the Early Modern Imagination, by Robin Briggs

Witchcraft and the Western Imagination by Lyndal Roper

Witchcraft Belief and Trals in Early Modern Ireland, by Andrew Sneddon

Witchcraft Deaths, by Mimi Clar

Witchcraft Fears and Psychosocial Factors in Disease, by Edward Bever

Witchcraft for Sale, by T.M. Pearce

Witchcraft in Denmark, by Gustav Henningsen

Witchcraft in Germany, by Taras Lukach

Witchcraft in Kilkenny, by T. Crofton Croker

Witchcraft in Anglo-American Colonies, by Mary Beth Norton

Witchcraft in the Central Balkans I: Characteristics of Witches, by T.P. Vukanovic

Witchcraft in the Central Balkans II: Protection Against Witches, by T.P. Vukanovic

Witchcraft Justice and Human Rights in Africa, Cases from Malawi, by Adam Ashforth

Witchcraft Magic and Spirits on the Border of Pennsylvania and West Virginia, by S.P. Bayard

Witchcraft Persecutions in the Post-Craze Era: The Case of Ann Izzard of Great Paxton, 1808, by Stephen A. Mitchell

Witchcraft Prosecutions and the Decline of Magic, by Edward Bever

Witchcraft, by Ray B. Browne

Witchcraft, Poison, Law, and Atlantic Slavery, by Diana Paton

Witchcraft, Politics, and Memory in Seventeeth-Century England, by Malcolm Gaskill

Witchcraft, Spirit Possession and Heresy, by Lucy Mair

Witchcraft, Women's Honour and Customary Law in Early Modern Wales, by Sally Parkin

Witches and Witchbusters, by Jacqueline Simpson

Witches, Cunning Folk, and Competition in Denmark, by Timothy R. Tangherlini

Witches' Herbs on Trial, by Michael Ostling

#witchcraft #witchblr #history #history of witchcraft #occult #witch trials #research #recommended reading #book recs #jstor

2K notes · View notes

wonderfull-star · 3 months ago

Text

Peri and Irep are more closely related to each other as opposites than the other fairies and anti fairies.

I have a question. We all know that fairies and anti fairies are opposites that change when each other changes in some quality. And for example, if Cosmo became smarter, then Anti Cosmo will become more… dumb. But why did it never work with Peri and Irep? They were both shown in the Wiki to have high intelligence from birth. Both the one who quickly learns magic, and the other who creates complex plans to take over the world. But what if they are connected to each other more strongly than the others? Like they are more sensitive to changes in each other (but at the same time can have similar qualities with each other). I noticed that Peri and Irep both go through some "emotional swings" like phases. For example, when they were still very small, then immediately after Foop’s birth he wanted to destroy his "double", essentially wanting to occupy the most important position. While Poof was the opposite of this and seemed to be in his “calm phase”. Later, by later episodes of season 7 and on, Foop became more down-to-earth. He already considered Poof more like his rival(frenemy) than an object for destruction. Poof, on the contrary, became more aggressive and uncontrollable (the moment with his crazy love for brownies was wild). And it was far from their “terrible twosome” phase. Foop even showed softer features. For example, he even became friends with Chloe to some extent, even protecting her from Vicky.

In the new show, Foop/Irep’s stronger desire to enslave and destroy as in season 7 returned, but this time things became "more complicated". That is, while he returned to his "old" self, Poof/Peri became more reserved and cautious. And here the culprit of such changes was Peri himself. And the reason, as I wrote earlier, is that he became more careful in using his magic. Which ultimately only worsened in later life, manifesting itself in his constant stress. What about Irep? Since Peri became more careful than before and began to strictly adhere to the rules while under stress,Irep, on the contrary, became more uncontrollable, not adhering to the rules and also tempts others to do the same. Many people wonder in the new show: "Why is Irep even trying to kill him? Has he forgotten that he himself will die because of this?" He understands but cannot restrain himself. Anti-fairies are essentially the opposite "reflection" of fairies, remember? But the situation with Foop/Irep is much more complicated than with the rest of the anti-fairies. Because both are stronger than the others. And that means both are more uncontrollable like in magical power and like in terms of emotions. And both essentially have split personalities that they clearly do not accept or do not want to show.

And you know, it seems to me that soon there will be a turning point between Peri and Irep that will change future episodes in the new show…

#fairly oddparents #fop #fairly odd parents a new wish #fop new wish #fop poof #peri fairywinkle cosma #fop foop #fop irep #fop cosmo #cosmo cosma #fop chloe #fop vicky #I am SURE that in future episodes we will see Irep from a softer side #if not even from a kinder side #with Peri it's the opposite of course

84 notes · View notes

sabrinasopposite · 1 month ago

Text

star of the show; clark kent

even the brightest star

with the spotlight on her

felt like a sad girl

since the moon wasn’t there.

angst, drama, theater kid!

romeo and juliet, the tragedy of a love story. they were called star-crossed lovers for a reason—famous for it, hated for it, yet their tale became one of the most influential love stories in history. a love that barely began, but the heart had already been pierced by a dagger.

yet not every love story is a tragedy, or so y/n believed, because that’s how she felt. she was living in a romantic comedy, as she would describe her love life with clark kent—the golden retriever lead in her movie.

he was pure, the missing star in her orbit, yet now he was finally with her. clark was the kind of guy anyone could fall in love with. his charm lay not just in his smile, but in his heart—a heart full of goodness and care, the kind of heart you’d want to shield from any dagger.

y/n had always been in love with clark, ever since their middle school days together. he had always been a great friend to her, until one valentine's day, when she gently placed a soft kiss on his cheek, along with a love letter.

their love had always been there, growing with each love letter that became a confession of their feelings. then one day, clark stood in front of her, holding yellow flowers and his heart, ready to offer both to y/n.

that’s how their love story continued, until it began to crumble like stones falling apart. high school wasn’t the issue—it was that the rom-com paused at a moment when the lead character went missing.

clark often disappeared, acted strangely, or seemed to know too much. at first, y/n didn’t think it was a big deal, but it kept happening—and it never stopped.

she started to see him less and less. y/n was distracted with her theater group while clark was always gone. he’d say the torch magazine was keeping him busy, but the office was usually empty. sometimes chloe was there, but clark? he wasn’t.

one of those nights, y/n finally had him in her presence. it had been weeks since she’d seen him, but now he was there. they sat in his barn loft, one of their favorite places.

y/n sat in front of him, holding her script in hand, her eyes meeting his as she laughed softly, happily. clark read the lines of romeo, helping her prepare for tomorrow night. it was a school play—romeo & juliet—and y/n had the role of juliet.

it made her smile to have her own romeo in front of her.

clark burst into laughter. "how can you take this seriously? the words are so old, i can barely understand what they’re saying."

y/n chuckled, placing her hand gently over his. "sweetheart, you should pay more attention in english class. haven’t you read the book?" she teased him.

clark rolled his eyes but smiled. "no, maybe i should have, since my girl is juliet. i’m ashamed i won’t understand you tomorrow."

y/n chuckled, but a thought slipped out before she could stop it. "as if you’ll be there tomorrow."

clark’s smile faded, his brows furrowing in confusion. "what do you mean by that?"

"well... you’re never there," she said softly, her words tinged with hurt. "you always miss my school plays. there’s always an empty seat reserved for you." it pained y/n every time she didn’t see him in the crowd. she would wonder if he was just out of sight or waiting backstage for her, but he never was.

clark’s heart ached. he quickly grabbed her hands, holding them tightly, afraid her warmth might slip away like her heart. "love, i’m so sorry. i promise i’ll be there tomorrow, with a big bouquet of roses."

y/n chuckled, rubbing her thumb across his hands. "you know i like yellow flowers."

clark smiled softly, looking deeply into her eyes, which now held a shade of blue, reflecting his sadness and regret. "yellow it is, then."

the truth was, clark had never told y/n about his true self. it wasn’t fear that held him back, but his instinct to protect her. after everything he’d seen, all that had happened around him, and what his destiny would demand, his only thought was to keep y/n safe—safe from everyone and everything. she was his heart, and that was the part of him he couldn’t bear to risk.

she was the sun he needed.

yet, like in every romantic comedy, there’s a breaking point where the lovers reach a moment of hurt.

for y/n, that moment came as she stood on stage, the spotlight shining on her, but her eyes glistened with unshed tears. the seat reserved for him was empty again.

the star had missed her orbit once more.

the city was shining, but not for her.

it shone for superman.

pt. 2 is out!

much love!!!

ps: if u have watched romeo&juliet (1968) pls say it in unison that tom welling could be benvolio or romeo.

#smallville #clark kent smallville x reader #smallville x reader #tom welling #clark kent smallville #clark kent fics #tom welling x reader #romeo and juliet #clark kent x reader #tom welling clark kent #dc #dccomics #smallvilleclark #clark kent

100 notes · View notes

arcadiabaytornado · 5 months ago

Photo

I would like to apologize for having the audacity to analyze the “don’t kiss Chloe” option during pride month. My excuse is that I forgot to post this draft in May.

If Max rejects the kiss she doesn’t outright reject Chloe. Instead, she says that it’s “not that easy” to get a kiss from her. I feel like this could be read in three different ways with various degrees of Pricefield interpretations.

A: Max wants to refuse, but doesn’t want to hurt Chloe’s feelings by turning her down. So instead, she plays it off like a joke to not risk hurting their friendship. This is the analyzation I find this the least likely option because it contradicts Max’s huge character flaw of “putting her foot in her mouth,” but it’s worth mentioning since I think the scene can be read that way.

B: Max wouldn’t be opposed to kissing Chloe, but not during an “easy” moment like a dare.

C: Max is misreading the situation, which is why she doesn’t reject Chloe in a serious way or positively acknowledge her feeling. She doesn’t see a dare as being serious. She thinks she’s rejecting a playful game, while Chloe’s reaction to her saying “no” indicates that it was more than that and she’s slightly disappointed by the rejection.

More Undercut

D: The dare is about self-confidence. Chloe tells Max that she can kiss her because she can do “whatever she wants” now that she has this power. Therefore, when Max rejects kissing her, it’s actually a reflection of her self-confidence being lower than it is on the route where she kisses Chloe.

I also think Chloe’s reaction is interesting. She goes into a sort of playful denial that they did kiss and Max rewound, which in mind is likely because: A: Chloe doesn’t want to risk her friendship with Max by pushing for something that they aren’t. B: Chloe is a character that’s terrified of abandonment. It’s likely an easier pill for her to swallow to think that Max didn’t really reject her when...yeah she kind of did regardless of what reason you think Max had.

That’s my analysis of this scene! I’m sure my Pricefield bias has slipped a lot in this post, but I do think it’s interesting to analyze non-ship moments from a shipper’s perspective. So hopefully other people think it’s interesting too!

#Chloe Price #max caulfield #LIS #Life Is Strange

74 notes · View notes

chloeangelic · 1 year ago

Text

im this 👌 close to writing joel waking up as a huge insect the morning after a one night stand with sarahs college roommate and its a very slapstick angst sort of situation where she gets pregnant and its like ok what do you prioritize? your friend suddenly having a kid with your dad or your dad turning into an insect? like is he gonna be an insect and a dad?

maybe i should stay away from the tropes after all @patti7dc @papipascalispunk

#chloe self reflects #jesse pinkman voice #who is kafkaesque #chloes brain is a disturbing place

52 notes · View notes

chemical-killjoy · 1 year ago

Text

Eternally Yours

Chris Motionless x Female Reader

Warnings: smut

Word count: 4.4k O_O

Summary: Basically a fanfic of the eternally yours music video, if the reader was the girl in the video

Author's Note: I know I have a bunch of asks, and I'm getting to them, I swear, but I finally finished this after like, 4 months... so... ta da?

It was tough watching the love of your life, your best friend, getting it on with someone you hate. But you soothed yourself with the fact that it was all for the cameras.

Motionless in White were shooting the music video for their new song 'eternally yours', and being his best friend, Chris jumped to have you on the project. You were one of the best light technicians after all... Plus it was fun to work with you. Chris wouldn't admit it, but he missed you.

And while working with Chris was always fun, having a tall, skinny, blonde model (who thought she was God's gift to the world) making out with him... it didn't exactly help your self esteem. He was perfect. So was she. Why would he ever like you? He'd never go for someone like you when he could have Chloe.

Speak of the devil, you thought, as Chloe sauntered up to you.

“Y/N, I need my skinny mocha.” She demanded.

“I do lights?” You said, frustrated and waiting for her to understand.

“And I'm needed on camera. Hurry up.” The blonde walked away before you could argue.

You rolled your eyes and mentally cursed her. Then you heard a thump and a scream.

“No! My ankle!!” Chloe was on the floor, screaming over a mildly twisted ankle and performing the tantrum of her life. “I can't do this stupid job, I deserve better!”

And that was the fastest working karma you'd ever seen... It also came back to bite you on the ass.

“What?! Me? There's no way. I am NOT that pretty, or seductive, I can't do it!” You begged.

“Come on Y/N, please. There's no one else to do it, and you look perfect for the part! Please, we need this video shot by the end of the day, you know that. Plus, there's no one I'd be more comfortable with.” Chris begged you to step in.

“I don't know.”

Chris smiled at you with pleading eyes and you knew you were done.

“Fine. But I'm going to need hair and makeup.”

You looked in the mirror. The reflection you saw, you hated. It wasn't some succubus, it was gross. You hated seeing yourself in such a small outfit. You were too insecure, what were you thinking agreeing to this?! Plus, you'd have to actually kiss Chris. While you desperately wanted to, did you really want it to all be fake? What if it makes things awkward? You were in the midst of a mental spiral when you heard and knocking on the door and a familiar voice.

“Y/N, you decent?” Chris asked.

“Um, yeah. You can come in.”

Chris slowly opened the door, and his eyes widened when he saw you. You hugged your stomach nervously.

Chris made a kind of sputtering noise before mumbling “wow”, which you weren't supposed to hear. The word make your lips turn up.

“Uh, Y/N, you look spectacular.” He said, standing next to you in the mirror, and admiring you. You looked away, blushing.

“No, I don't. You have to say that. You're my friend.”

“Friend...” Chris said softly. “No, I don't have to say that. You truly look phenomenal. Dare I say, sexy.” Chris brushed some hair over your shoulder, turning to face you. Right then, the buzzer rang, summoning you to the set.

You cleared your throat.

You were about to walk out the door when you turned back to Chris.

“Can you promise me something?”

“Anything,” he said, without missing a beat.

“This won't change our friendship right? I just don't want things to be weird.”

A voice called from down the hall, asking you to hurry up.

You walked away.

It took a bit, but after some friendly cat-calls and whistles from the crew, you had the confidence to try to be seductive. You felt a little awkward, walking around the red and blue lighting and just looking around dramatically, but you trusted the director.

Next, you got in the coffin. With David, the director, shouting orders, you got into the part and began to have fun with it, playing model. Your confidence grew and your performance got better and better, until David decided enough was enough.

“Alright, Chris, get in there.”

Suddenly the anxiety returned.

You watched Chris in his suit walk around mysteriously in the lights and tried not to allow a shiver to go through you when he looked down at your lips and removed his glove.

“Y/N, you're the woman, you're not supposed to be so hard.”

The crew chuckled and you rolled your eyes, embarrassed that your anxiety was so obvious.

“Hey, you OK with this?” Chris whispered.

“Ye-yes. Yeah. Just. Out of my comfort zone.” You replied, before raising your voice. “Any directions, boss-man?”

��Just, act like you're a complete whore. You would die to touch him, you need him like oxygen. You're excited, get a little wiggle going on, yes?”

Mentally screaming at him, you nodded your head, and looked at Chris with daggers in your eyes. He couldn't hold in the laugh. Suddenly you were both laughing so hard you nearly fell back into the coffin, and Chris nearly fell in on top of you, making you laugh so hard your eyes watered.

“Oh come on, now your make up is all crinkled, everybody, take five! Y/N, go to hair and make up, and Chris... never mind.” David trailed off, you and Chris still giggling as he helped you out of the coffin. You fumbled a little in the stilettos, but Chris held you around your waist til you got your balance.

“Let's go.”

“David was right, you know,” Chris said, words you thought you'd never hear as you walked to hair and make up.

You raised your eyebrows.

“Not like that! I mean, you just seemed super tense, stiff.” You chuckled at the innuendo. “C'mon Y/N, I'm serious. Am I doing something wrong? I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, OK? So just tell me.”

“... I- complete honesty?”

“Always, you know that.”

“I'm scared... I'm scared that if we kiss you'll be disgusted by me or it'll change our friendship and I'll lose you. I don't want to kiss you for the first time in front of cameras and people—I mean, I don't want to kiss anyone for the first time in front of cameras—I mean, your opinion matters to me, and-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Y/N. Breathe. Yeah?” Chris said, stopping walking to grab you by the shoulders and look you in the eye with a half smile that made you melt. “Would it help if, uh,” Chris looked to the side and nervously rubbed his hands. “If we kiss now, before cameras or anything. You can tell me what you like and what you don't so I don't fuck up,” he said before adding “It'd look better on camera if we're actually enjoying it, right?”.

You bit your lip and stepped closer. Chris brushed your hair behind your head and you couldn't help but turn into his hand a bit as he did, before looking up to his dark brown eyes. He stepped in til your bodies were nearly against each other, and lent down to softly brush your lips with his. You felt your breath catch in your throat as he snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. You looped your arms around his neck and pressed your lips hard against him. The kiss was fire, and within moments you felt Chris's tongue against your lips, asking for entrance. You stood frozen in time, exploring each other as much as you dared before eventually breaking away for air.

You both stood there, entangled and breathing hard, looking away with small smiles.

“Um, so yeah, if you just do that it'll be fine.” You said, with a breathy voice and a little laugh. Chris joined in, and to your dismay, pulled away.

“Yeah, yeah definitely like that.” He said with a wink, before continuing the walk to hair and make up with his hands in his pockets. You stood still for a moment, hand to your lips, before walking fast to catch up.

You re-filmed the start of the shot after talking with Chris about what you were comfortable with (“well, we're in character, right? Just go for what feels right, and if I'm uncomfortable I'll stop you. Same goes for you.” to which Chris replied “You better let me know, I never want to hurt you.”). Chris walked up to you, and took his glove off. The look in his eye sent a shiver down your spine as you arched your back and lent across the coffin, convincing yourself you were leaning into the part and not Chris. But instead of kissing you, Chris brushed the hair from your face, and placed his head against yours, shutting his eyes. The tension was too much for you to bear as he lent down and rubbed his face against yours, kissing you without doing so, breath against your neck sparking electricity through your veins. You returned the motion, nuzzling into the man. But where Chris's hand had been around the back of your neck, he shifted his hands to be around your throat, lifting you up for better access to surprise you with a fierce, open-mouthed kiss.

It was like the man was trying to torture you. Or ruin you in the best way. You lent further into the kiss, deepening it.

“And cut! Perfect, we'll get all the kissing done at the same time to not waste the lipstick, yeah?” David said, ruining everything.

Chris helped you out of the coffin and you prayed you wouldn't slip and suffer the same fate and Chloe (not that you'd let a sprained ankle stop you now), and David guided you both to an empty area with a few blue lights around.

“OK. Now. I want you guys to make out. Just go for it. Chris, I want you to ravish her.” David directed.

At this point, you looked at Chris and just shrugged. He laughed and pulled you flush against him by the waist, both of you with cheeky grins.

“You ready to start filming?” Chris asked, an air of mischief in his voice.

Before David even said yes, Chris's lips were on yours again. It started a little sloppy and silly, but turned slower and more passionate fast, your hands cupping Chris' cheek, his arms around you only drawing you in closer, impossibly so. Chris broke the kiss and whispered in your ear.

“I'm going to do something, if you don't like it, just stop me, OK?” he spoke in a low whisper, and you didn't have to pretend to be turned on.

“I trust you.” You breathed back.

Then suddenly Chris was kissing your neck, then your chest. You arched your back to grant him better access, and stroked his neck as he sucked on the soft skin of your collarbone. It was all you could do to hold back a moan. When he pulled away and looked up at you, you could have died. Suddenly you felt too tense to kiss him again, scared you'd convey how much you need him, as Y/N, not the character in the music video. You turned your away, and then it was time to touch up your lipstick and a break before once more getting in the coffin.

You were drinking icy water and trying to calm yourself down from the growing heat and anxiety within you. You tried to compose yourself. You didn't want to be a creep, it's not exactly like he's consenting to you getting off from his acting. And that's all it was. Acting. Just... really convincing. You tried to reason with yourself and prepare yourself for the sex scene.

There was another knock on the dressing room door.

“Come in.”

Chris walked in, immaculate in his suit, but a concerned look in his dark eyes.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean?” You responded, feigning innocence.

“Did I do something wrong? I thought everything was OK. Did I cross a line? You know you can always stop me Y/N, I know you've been through shit and I don't want to ever hurt you, I'm really sor-”

“Chris, Chris, it's fine. You didn't cross a line or anything. I just. Um. Fuck,” you looked away, a blush spreading across your face. “I- Look, you did nothing wrong, OK? You did everything right. Maybe too right, if you get what I mean? I guess I just kinda froze up. But trust me, you didn't do anything wrong. You're... perfect.” You looked back up at Chris with imploring eyes, only to be met with a cocky smirk.

“Too right, huh? Man's got moves.” He laughed to himself, and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Don't get all proud of yourself,” you said and walked past. “Show time.”

Once you two opened the coffin and climbed in, it was up to you.

“I have one direction. Make me feel something. Action!” David boomed.

You started simple, Chris climbing on top of you, but you decided to take control. You lent back and put one heeled foot on Chris's chest, pushing him down slowly. He looked up at you with such an intense lust you could have moaned from that alone. You kissed for a moment before sitting up and helping Chris to take his jacket off. His eyes never left yours, piercing into your soul. The world didn't matter; nothing was real but this moment.

The pair of you moved in time, shifting seductively as Chris whispered to you, hand in your hair.

“Would it be too far if I,” he slid his hand across your face, and you understood his gesture. When his thumb slipped into your mouth, you sucked, fully getting into it. You were determined to make him as desperate as you were. He held both sides of your face and was about to kiss you, but you wrapped your arms around his wrists and tried to pull him down. But Chris was not one to obey. He pulled his hands away and brushed some hair out of your face, before pulling you up against him. Chris scooped you up, one hand cradling your neck delicately, the other gripping your ass for stability and control. You felt immediately how badly Chris wanted this when he grinded into you. The thin fabric of your costume and his suit was not enough to conceal his arousal. You gasped and grinded back as Chris lent in for a kiss that felt like fire. He guided you down into the coffin, as you felt his tongue slip past your lips. After just a moment of kissing, Chris sat up, both of you coming up for air, and double checking consent.

But you just grabbed his shirt and pulled him down. He kissed you lips, your neck, down your chest, even kissing your thigh, then lifting your leg up to caress as he kissed you deeply and passionately, grinding occasionally and trying to control himself. After a few more kisses, you broke apart.

“Perfection! Now we just need to close the lid.” David stated.

“I'm sorry, what?” you asked.

“We're going to close the lid. Well, Chris is. Make it extra dramatic, that's the ending of the video. Two lovers in their final bed.”

Normally you'd fight this, as the idea of being shut in a coffin—even for a moment in a music video—gave you anxiety, but in your current state, the idea made a shiver go through your spine.

The last scene was shot, you snuggled into Chris as he looked up into the camera and closed the door. For just a few moments, you remained just like that. Head on Chris's shoulder and hand on his chest, his arm around you and hand on your ass. You looked up at him and though you couldn't see it, he was looking down at you too.

Chris cleared his throat and tried to find something to say.

“Wow.” He stated, eloquently. You laughed quietly, knowing the camera was still filming.

Before you could lose your nerve, you reached your hand up to find his lips. You heard Chris breathing harder as your fingers found his lips. You just started to shuffle closer when you heard a voice.

“That's a wrap for tonight guys. Everyone fuck off home, it's going to be another big day tomorrow.” David said, walking off and dismissing the crew. The crew (most of whom your were friends with) thought it would be funny to leave you both in there rather than helping you out. Which meant you had to untangle yourselves and find a way out.

Someone tapped the coffin twice.

“See you tomorrow guys!” the voice was Ricky. Then, quieter, “Don't have too much fun.” You could feel the smirk through the coffin.

“Motherfucker!” Chris yelled, and only get a distant laughter in response.

You heard nothing but Chris' heartbeat and your head rested on his chest.

For a second, you just looked up at Chris, unsure what to do. You wanted to tell him, but you were scared. You wanted to kiss him, but what if he freaked out, what if it was only for the video, and he was just another actor? But could you live with yourself if you didn't take the chance? Before you could do anything, Chris tried to pull his arm out from under you to push up on the lid of the coffin, and in doing so ended up half on top of you. Chris breathed in sharply as you felt what was most definitely not his leg pressing on yours.

“Ah, sorry, I just, uh, you know,” Chris laughed nervously before looking into your eyes, “You were too good too.” He meant to joke, but his emotions leaked out through the words.

“Trust me, if I was a man, I'd be apologising for the same thing,” you laughed, trying to ease into talking again, and letting Chris know it was all OK. “I mean, when you pulled me in and like, thrust into me? Fuck, I know you said you have moves but damn, you really have moves!” You joked—or tried to make it seem that way.

“I mean, I'm happy to show you more, if you want.” he said with a wink, leaning into it in a joking manner.

“Bold of you to assume I don't want that.” you returned. The joke slipped out, challenging him, but you weren't expecting his facade to drop as he looked at you with total sincerity.

“Y/N, I—I need to ask you something. Was this, ah, was this just for the video? Cause I could swear I felt something real, and I'm hoping it's not just because I want there to be.”

“I- Thank God I wasn't imagining it.” You smiled and pulled him in. But this wasn't like when the cameras where on you. This was soft. Hesitant. Fragile and delicate but determined to push yourself. Because you couldn't let this slip away. Him slip away. While you were aiming for just a short kiss, a peck, wordlessly checking it was OK, Chris had other ideas.

Suddenly his hands were in your hair, his lips on yours, and instead of passion, there was a soft declaration of love. Just taking time to memorize the feel of your lips. But you were both still worked up, and then the heat came in moments, the kiss like fire. As your tongues danced, Chris slid a hand down your body, stopping to squeeze your ass as he grinded into your leg. You moaned into the kiss, rocking your hips against his.

“Chris,” you moaned, as he started to grind his cock against your clothed core.

“Dammit, how do you get this thing off?” He asked, tugging at your costume, and you laughed.

“Fuck, this stupid costume, we're gonna need to get out of here to get it off... Dressing room?” You suggested.

“I don't know,” Chris said darkly, breathing against your ear. “I was looking forward to fucking you right here in this coffin.”

The statement sent a shiver down your spine. Chris didn't miss this.

“I knew you thought this was hot too,” he said, voice low and leaving a hickey on the small of your neck. Chris slid his hand down to rub against your heat, and you bucked your hips into his hand immediately.

“Fuck, you're a lot darker than I gave you credit for, kitten.” Chris' low voice forced a whimper out of you. Then he stopped. “If I go too far, stop me, OK? I don't want to hurt you... well, unless you want me to.”

“Chris, if you stop now, I will fucking murder you.”

“Can't think of a better way to go.”

“Chris!”

With that, Chris tore the fabric connecting the top and bottom of the costume, sliding your panties off at the same time. Before you could even register the destroyed costume, his thumb was rubbing circles on your clit and you cried out.

“Yes! Just there!” You moaned, and Chris slowed his pace. You were about to protest when you heard the zipper of his of his pants. You reached down and pulled his cock out of his pants, and he groaned as you pumped him slowly.

“Shit, I'm not going to last if you keep touching my like that, Y/N,” Chris moaned airily as he thrust into your hand.

“I'm only teasing you back, baby,” you smirked, letting go and kissing him harshly.

“Uh, I don't have a condom, are you OK with that?” Asked Chris, ever the gentleman.

“I'm on the pill, just fuck me, please.” The last word slipped out before you could stop yourself. As hot as this was, you knew your friend would never let you live this down.

“'Please?' Don't tell me,” Chris said, melodramatic, “you're a sub!”

“Chris, don't make me do it, don't ruin the moment.”

“I'm not ruining anything, all I'm saying is-”

“No,”

“that you have to beg.”

“I am not-” You stopped as Chris rolled on top of you, grinded his cock against your wet core, and bit the spot just below your ear, causing you to let out a high pitched whimper.

“Are you sure about that, darling?” Chris asked in a low voice.

You whimpered more as he rubbed circles on your clit with his thumb.

“Please Chris, I'm begging you, please fuck me!”

With that Chris thrust his full length into you without any warning.

You cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain, the later only making the first more intense. Chris was far bigger than any other guy you'd had, both in length and width, and the stretch was perfection. You could've cum then and there when Chris hammered into you without waiting, groaning into your ear. The noises that man was making could drive you insane. Each thrust was deeper, and took you to a new level as you ran your nails down Chris's back, legs wrapping around him for more, more, more. You were in such a state that neither of you could even feel or hear the coffin jolting with each thrust. You wished you could see more of Chris, but the darkness of the coffin only heightened your other senses. Each thrust felt more powerful, as Chris hit your g spot without fail each time.

It wasn't long before you Chris stopped kissing your neck to groan into your ear, slowing his pace.

“Y/N, I'm gonna cum,” He warned, asking without words what you were comfortable with.

“Cum in me,” you said without missing a beat, and you could've sworn the man whimpered a little. “Please.”

With that, Chris returned to his brutal pace, kissing your lips like he needed you like air. He pinched your nipple, and as a gasp escaped, Chris used this to his advantage for further access. After a moment, you felt his thumb toy with your clit again, slow circles getting faster, and as you felt yourself clench around Chris, the tightness in your stomach released and you felt ecstasy as you bucked wildly, desperate to stay in this moment. Just as you started to come down from your high, Chris released into you, losing control. You couldn't help but climb higher as the man you'd die for moaned into your ear, holding your hips and just losing himself into you.

You two cooled down, breathing hard against each other, the scent of sex heavy in the coffin. Though you could hardly see it, you could feel Chris looking into your eyes. Then his hand brushed some hair from your face and he kissed you sweetly, still inside you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him lovingly. When the kiss ended, Chris slipped out, and let out a sigh.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted you, Y/N. How much I need you.” Chris's voice was soft and gentle, a stark contrast what took place mere moments ago.

“I feel like I could say the same. Chris, I-” You stopped yourself before you could say how you feel. Because even after all this, the fear remained. But Chris wasn't going to let that get in the way.

“You what?”

“I've liked you for the longest time.” You chickened out.

“Well, I've loved you for years.”

Even in the dark, you looked over at him.

“What?”

“I wrote this song for you, actually. I'm eternally yours. If you'll give me the honour of being so.”

“I love you.” Was all you could say before your lips crashed to his once more in the beautiful blackness.

Taglist: @fedorable-killjoys @horrorolson As always if anyone wants to be added or taken of the taglist please let me know! <3

If you read this and liked it, please reblog!! Or if you reeeally liked it, here's my kofi <3

#chris motionless #chris cerulli #motionless in white #miw #chris motionless x reader #chris cerulli x reader #chris cerulli smut #chris motionless smut #chris motionless x reader smut #eternally yours #motionless in white fanfiction

307 notes · View notes

mrsbrookemunson · 2 years ago

Note

Request for the 30-days-of-insecurities-thingy, smile. I'm very insecure of my smile because i got bullied a lot for it.

Could I get tagged??🙏🙏

But, of course, @maddymadquinn !!! When I read this, I knew it had to be the first part to my insecurity series, and I hope I did your request justice.

Warnings: no use of 'y/n', gn!reader, use of pet names like 'sweetheart', and 'love', insecure!reader (obvi), intrusive thoughts, self deprecating thoughts, Eddie being in love with you, 'L' bombs all over the place, bullying, fluffy, kinda rushed ending, most likely typos, and what the request says-it's all about teeth and your smile-I tried to keep it basic, if you have braces or a gap tooth or whatever, it'll fit in with the story. Enjoy :)

Word Count: 2225

Taglist: @strangerthingsstories5255 @totalmesstm @kiszkathecook @poofyloofy @beeblisss @stylesxmunson @munsonsguitarpick @mlvgren @dream-a-little-nightmare @munsonsuccubus @katsukisimpsblog @iheartyouyou @eddiebaemunson @emma77645 @eviethetheatrefreak @pappachismoth @erinsingalong @letitiasleftfoot @eddiesguitarskills @trixyvixx @myfangirlheartsblog @emxxblog @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @prettiest-angel @ajokeformur-ray @livsters @cherrycolas-things @chloe-6123 @hazydespair @wolfstarsiriusly @steveharringtonswifey-09

Series Masterlist | Eddie Munson Masterlist

~ Just Smile ~

"You would look prettier if you smiled more."

"Why don't you ever smile?"

"Just smile."

You're used to comments like that, often hearing them from your classmates at Hawkins High...

But, here's the thing—

#1: My Smile

You hate your smile, often giving people the closed-mouth smile or a tight thin-lipped smile that doesn't quite ever reach your eyes. But, you refuse to smile with your teeth.

This makes one day very hard for you every time it comes.

Picture Day.

A day made from Hell to torture you, where people reassure you—"Oh!, it's not that bad..." or "Everyone looks bad in school photos." Really? Tell that to the Queen of Hawkins High, Chrissy Cunningham, or Steve 'the Hair' Harrington, or Heather Holloway, or Nancy Wheeler—even Robin seems to pull out a good one.

But, you?

Freshman Year—

"Big smile!" the photographer instructed.

And did you give her one-flashing your teeth... only to receive said photo later on just to cry to your mom about how bad it looked... and that your teeth looked wrong. The demon in your head won the longer you stared at the photo.

"Honey, it's fine—no one likes their school photos."

It was after all the other girls and boys bragging about their photos did you swear you'd never smile with your teeth in photos again.

Sophomore Year—

You prepared yourself, watching the person before you take their picture. Hearing the lady call 'next' with a short glance toward you. You took a deep breath, walking to the seat. When you sat down, your heart began to race a little—a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

It felt as though things were moving in slow motion, a deep, patronizing voice, "Give me a big smile". The lady demonstrated, exaggeratedly.

Your eyes flickered to a group of your classmates, snickering at you with pointed fingers. They taunted your smile with their own.

"Big smile!" the lady repeated.

You heard the laughs of the group echoing in your ears, you quickly revealed your teeth in a wide grin. The flash of the camera temporarily blinding you.

"Next!'

You blinked a few times before moving along. You shuffled past the group until you heard the call of your name from one of them. With that you spun around to face them with nervous, wide eyes, and a once again, pounding heart.

One of the teenagers smiled at you, a fake, catty, insulting smile as they stalked closer to you. "Thought you'd want to know you have something—" They gestured to their mouth, specifically their teeth "Right there."

One of their friends snorted loudly in the back.

You frowned and went to the bathroom in a slight rush to check it out. When you found your own reflection in the mirror you bared your teeth only to find... your teeth—your smile.

All you saw was yourself.

Quickly understanding, you felt yourself falling apart—

Is that why they laugh at you when you smile and say hello passing them in the halls?

You thought you heard it in their tone—the fakeness of it all.

You ripped up your school photo when you got it after witnessing the same group as before commenting on it with their giggles and chuckles. You blocked your face with tape in your yearbook, so you'd never have to see yourself looking back.

Is that why they all laughed when you signed their yearbook the previous year? You only dug yourself farther into a hole, thinking about what would happen next.

That's when you swore you'd never smile again.

Junior Year—

The year you got a certain metalhead's attention.

He was in the same grade as you, and you shouldn't have even met, but you purposely ditched picture day and your mom forced you to go to retake day. Turns out you weren't the only one who hated this day.

The two of you grumbled under your breath, overhearing him next to you caught your attention.

"Mom forced you to do this too?" you asked.

"Uncle."

You chuckled, breathily. "What was his excuse?"

His posture straightened. "'You can't just run away and hide when you don't want to do something, boy! You have to stand up to it!'" he imitated this so-called 'uncle's' voice.

You giggled, but stopped when you suddenly felt his eyes on you. You dared to look and saw his gaze on your teeth. You cleared your throat and turned away from him.

You missed the way he frowned, as he missed the sight of your smile and the sound of your laugh in just seconds.

"What about you?" he chimed from behind you.

"Huh?" You kept your guard up, still turned away from him.

"Your mom's motive?"

"Oh—yeah! " You swallowed. "That I'll regret it one-day." You shook your head. "I highly doubt that though."

"Why didn't you attend picture day?"

"Tried to pull a you—ditch—avoid it..." you paused. "Run away from it." You suddenly found the palm of your hand more interesting than the beautiful boy behind you—actually wanting to talk to you!

You heard him chuckle. "Sounds like you and my uncle think the same of me."

"I don't know you—but I don't think you're a cult leader, that's for sure."

"But, most people do, hence why I try to get away with not doing this.” He gestures to the setup in front of you two. “Have no doubt they write freak over my face, or draw devil horns over my head in their little yearbooks."

There was a beat of silence and you could feel the slight nudge of his foot against yours.

You bit your lip, thinking about what he said. What he admitted to you so effortlessly. How could he trust you so fast without even knowing your name—who you are?

You sigh, "I hate my smile."

"C'mon, I just saw it and it's—"

"Ugly—I know."

"No, I was gonna say—"

" Next!"

You don't look back when you walk up ignoring Eddie.

"Show me a big smile!" she asks.

You, however, do not, giving her only a neutral expression. She takes the picture and looks down at it, uncomfortably.

"Uhhh... want me to take another one?"

"No." You left, hastily.

Eddie ignored the call for him as with narrowed eyes, watching you leave, he sets his own personal goal—

To get you to smile for him one day.

Senior Year—

"Ready for picture day, sweetheart?" Eddie asked, placing a sloppy kiss onto your cheek.

You grumbled, wiping his kiss away. "No."

He placed yet another kiss on your cheek in replacement of the old one. "I know, I know." He drummed a steady beat against the sides of your torso. "But, you look beautiful today, but then again you always do."

You grew flustered. "Thanks," you whispered.

"Next!'

You walked up to the seat and took your place.

"Big smile!"

You glared at the lady. "Seriously? I thought we were past this now."

Your eyes flickered to Eddie who gave you an encouraging thumbs up and a nod with an annoyingly cute smile on his face. That was enough for you to muster up a small closed-mouth smile and that was enough to make Eddie's heart soar.

Safe to say, he accomplished his goal.

Present—

Eddie did not accomplish his goal.

God, you haven't smiled in a week—a week! And at this point he thought he was going to lose his mind.

You've been having a tough week. With your allergies acting up, to school and work stressing you out, to even those special, rare moments of silence you have, only to have them be interrupted by one thing or another. And he tried, he tried to get you to even break a little smile for him, but he just couldn't do it.

Something had to be wrong.

Something was wrong, on your side of the story. Work, school, allergies, and lack of peace haven't been the only things keeping you up late at night. It was this intrusive thought every time you looked in the mirror, it was the people you interacted with at work whose gaze simply rested on your smile that made you falter, the once in a while backhanded comments people would make. You couldn't find it in yourself anymore to smile or even laugh—you felt exhausted and defeated.

Because it was you, your smile, something you owned—and people didn't like it. And at times you think you're cursed.

It's you.

You stumbled around your room, picking up random pieces of trash off the floor, and tidying things up before bed. You felt a slight pressure in between your eyebrows from wanting to cry a few times during your episodes.

You sighed and collapsed onto your bed. Just before you were about to get comfortable you heard a faint tapping on your window. You jumped at the sound, until you saw a familiar ring adorning a finger. You got up and walked over to the window, opening it.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, tiredly.

He only smiled. "I got some stuff for you." His eyes glanced behind you. "Can I come in?"

You rolled your eyes and moved to the side, giving him room for him to enter. "Come on in, Prince Charming."

His smile got wider, stepping inside, and nearly tripping on a small stack of books near your window. He revealed a bouquet of your favorite flowers. "For you." He handed them to you. You took them, with a curious expression. Suddenly, he's rifling through a plastic bag he brought. "Okay, so I got Breakfast Club, Nightmare on Elm Street, I even brought The Outsiders, and that other movie you like uh—" He read the title. "Some Kind of Wonderful."

Your eyes widened. "You brought all of those."

"Well, I thought we could have a little movie night," he replied, nonchalantly. "I also brought your favorite snacks and candy, even your favorite drink." He looked at your dumbfounded face. He set down the bag and brought his hands up to caress your upper arms. "Look, I know you've been having a bad week and I want to make it a little better."

Your eyes avert away from him. You sniffled, holding the flowers closer to your chest. "I don't deserve you, you know."

He shook his head. "Not true."

You argued, "No, no it is true, you deserve someone who you can show off to—to prove those jerks from school wrong, and I-I can't do that."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

Tears rimmed your eyes. "Eddie, why are people so mean?"

He was taken aback. "Sweetheart..." He gently took the flowers out of your hands and placed them on your dresser. He pulled you into his chest. "What's wrong? Did someone say something to you?"

You nodded. "Yes..." You cry into his shirt.

"Who? I'll go kick their ass right now."

"No! It's—" You found yourself becoming embarrassed. "it's not just one person—so many people just—" You struggled to get the words out. "I just want to be able to smile without feeling judged—I feel like I'm forced to remain in bitch-face mode just so I don't have to deal with people staring or commenting or doing something that revolves around that—especially our classmates.” You pulled away to look him in the eyes. "I just want to feel beautiful when I smile Eddie."

He looked at you in shock at your confession. He knew you hated your smile, that was the start of you two, but hearing it now as someone more than a stranger was heartbreaking to him. Seeing the one he's so so in love with falling apart in front of him over something he couldn't stop thinking about for months and months.

"God, sweetheart, don't you see I'd do anything to keep you smiling."

"What?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"I know you hate your smile, but god—I love it. I've loved it ever since I met you, and from that moment I wanted to make you smile everyday. Lights up my world and shit, if I'm being honest." He seemed nervous, fidgeting with the ends of your shirt.

"You mean it?" Your voice slightly cracked as the emotions of love rushed through you. You're almost starstruck by him. Over the moon. Your heart flutters and your stomach flips seeing the sincerity in his eyes.

Has he always looked at you that way? Have you just never noticed?

Truth is: Yes, he has, and no... you didn't.

"Jesus, yes, you're so beautiful and that smile of yours is beautiful," he pauses. "And who fucking cares what anyone says? Or thinks? Fuck them!"

You laughed.

His eyes widen as he stumbles back with a dazed expression. "I think I just died—" He dramatically falls on the bed. "And went to heaven," he finished. "Are you an angel?"

You laugh again, this time louder. "Stop it," you squeal.

"I'm serious." He pulls you over to him. You slot between his legs as he looks up at you with a slight pout. "I want you to talk to me when you're feeling insecure about yourself. I don't want you bottling up your feelings." He cups your face with the warmth of his hands to make sure he has your full attention. "I love every single thing about you, sweetheart. And I'll do anything and everything for you to realize that, no matter how long it might take. "

If only you knew just how serious he was.

Next Chapter: Actions Speak Louder Than Words (nsfw)

534 notes · View notes