#chipping away at a big piece that I think I will post when it's done

[birdkingdom]

[littencloud9]

anyway. that was so fucking good so as usual have my post watch thoughts:

vanitas - i am putting him in a fucking blender and then giving him a big hug. give this guy a BREAK. there is something so wrong with him and i love it. him and noé are so incredibly well-done. pure opposites and they clash but it works. him and mikhail devastated me. he is so insanely kind and you dont expect it bc he keeps shoving people away?? and hes so snarky but hes doing everything to save others??? sacrificing his body to countless experiments as a child so that other children wouldnt suffer the same, saving the vampires with the book even as it chips away at the humanity he struggles to keep, being a DOCTOR. im gonna throw something

noé - i’m in love with him. that’s it. jk but he is AMAZING and his love for domi makes me wanna cry and also him and murr are so funny and when he said he’ll never set vanitas free, something in me revived. i love that his first instinct is always to protect, whether it’s by his own body or by inflicting violence. he is just so sweet and has a big big heart and i think im gonna go cry actually

jeanne - JEANNE!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH. her arc with chloé was WONDERFUL and she’s the cutest and coolest ever. im putting her in my pocket and patting her adoringly. she’s so fiercely loyal to her duty but when it comes to people she cares about she struggles because her heart is so big and i am JUST. I LOVE JEANNE

dominique - I ALSO LOVE DOMI. HOLY SHIT shes probably my favourite as of now. i didnt have much of an impression of her in s1 (tho she was so cool) but s2 hit me like a truck. i love that we got her pov of the whole thing with louis! doomed siblings haha my weakness. the scene of her holding back her younger self and louis just watching WAS SO INCREDIBLE. domi looking into her most vulnerable self and being forced to confront her past MMMM. her as a child chopping her hair off after louis died like WOW that murdered me. her saying she hates herself but fighting to stay alive anyway. AND HER AND THE SICK ASS ICE POWERS. AND JEANNE SAYING SHES BEAUTIFUL. and her with the line about protecting others or something. BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY DOMI IS A KNIGHT! AHHHH GOD I LOVE HER

mikhail - this kid both freaks me out and makes me miserable. as a child screaming help me big brother while he was being dragged away, and then when the book was eating him alive and he was screaming at vanitas to help him again. that killed me. and him doing everything because he wants to bring back their family. being stuck in the past and begging for vanitas to return with him IM GONNA THROW UP

chloé and jean-jacques - they aren’t my favourites but their arc was wonderful!! oh the tragedy of being childhood best friends in this show. i love that they found each other when it was needed. i love that they did everything to protect each other. i love that they saved each other. i love that both their true names have something to do with flowers, the same as the place where they first met (unless i’m remembering things wrong do not come at me it’s been a While skfhekfb)

vanoé thoughts - because vanoé is what i came for. i was Not disappointed. thejr dynamic is so silly and fun but also devastating. their designs being parallels, being Meant To Be, is great. vanitas having to hypnotise himself to kill noé, yet being unable to do it even with a KNIFE TO HIS THROAT. and noé also holding back, despite knowing that he is completely capable of killing vanitas too. and the rain and everything and ohhhh my god i will die. and vanitas leaning on noé in s1 and noé leaning on vanitas in s2 HECK YEAH. AND THE SUN RISE IN S1 WHEN NOÉ PROMISED TO STAY BY VANITAS’ SIDE. AND THE SUN RISE IN S2 WHEN THEY MADE UP. AND VANITAS TOOK NOÉ’S HAND! AND ACCEPTED HIM INTO HIS LIFE! after hiding everything about himself from noé, and now letting him see just a piece of him. and them arguing like an old married couple but also instinctively protecting each other. these damn gays

domijeanne - when do they kiss. like for Real. man i love that they hold such high admiration for each other and they support each other so much. and domi who harbours so much self-hatred and compares herself with jeanne, but jeanne just sees her as strong and beautiful and incredible. i love that they’re genuinely friends and always go to each other and ALSO LETS NOT FORGET THE DANCING SCENE! and also jeanne the hellfire witch and domi with the ice powers LIKE! INCREDIBLE SHOW STOPPING. pretty please i need them to kiss

overall - love the op and ed so much. love the colours and vibrancy and how during the last fight it was all grey and dull and ugh. studio bones KNOWS how to do symbolism with these damn colours. incredible and devastating writing and im definitely gonna go read the manga. drop dead gorgeous art style like all of these characters are BEAUTIFUL. a perfect mix of silly and pure horror and genuine love (both platonic and romantic and maybe some of these characters are trauma bonded but they come together anyway and that is just great) and tragedy. i love vnc. the bsd-mtp-vnc pipeline so real. they are all incredible shows but i think vnc has my favourite storyline out of them all so far. thanks if u read til here LMAO 🫶🫡

[dressagecow]

Disappeared again. It’s been a hard year and 24 hasn’t been kind. My mom died, suddenly. I had to move. Financial aid cut me off completely. I’ve barely done anything with Nav this year, so he’s been enjoying semi-retirement. My barn owner occasionally finds underhanded ways to comment on it. But he’s fine.

At the very least, I have less than three weeks left of school, ever. And then I graduate with my bachelor’s degree. I’ve been taking classes all through the summer to finish this and move on with my life.

One other good thing did happen: I was blessed with Nav’s past and background. Almost all of it!

Someone from my first barn messaged me one day to say that she kept seeing someone making posts in various groups on Facebook, looking for a specific horse. A horse that looked like mine. She sent me the post they’d been sharing, and I was ready to brush it off, but…it really did seem to be him. The post read that she was looking for a 19 year old quarter horse x hackney cross that she lost track of 10 years ago when she gave him away. I messaged the woman and sent her pictures of him to double check that yes, this is the horse she was looking for. And it was!

We went back and forth for a while, and she told me everything she knew about him. He was born in 2004 after a man bought his dam in foal at an auction, supposedly having been exposed to a hackney stallion wherever she came from. His dam was a “big stocky buckskin paint”, so we know where he got his color from. The auction where she was bought was also in an area that was tied to an indigenous population of Chippewa, so when he was born, the man’s children named him “Spirit of the Chippewa”. The woman I spoke with picked him up from the original owner in 2008, and she shortened his name to Chip. He was still a stallion, so she had him gelded and tried to get him started under saddle. She was just a green teenager at the time herself though, so it was kind of a rough start. She sort of just let him be for a while after that, and eventually gave him to a local man with a petting zoo in 2013. The man had a girlfriend who said she was would take him into the city for training, and that’s where she lost track of him.

She sent me the Facebook profile of the man who originally owned him, but he hasn’t been active for a while so I didn’t get a response when I reached out. I also did some digging and found the petting zoo man she referred to. He can’t remember having a Navaho, but he had some Spirits and some Chips. He mentioned that his girlfriend would’ve taken a horse like him into the city, put 30-60 days of riding on him, and then they would’ve resold him at an auction somewhere more down south in the state. He said he remembered faces better than names, but didn’t respond to texts with pictures of him. Nonetheless, I’m sure it was this guy; Nav was just passing through for them.

So somewhere between 2013 and 2015 (when my first barn purchased him, and I subsequently purchased him from them), Nav was probably taken to auction, had his name changed, eventually ended up at a barn with a winery (unclear if they were the ones who got him from the auction), and then was sold to my barn and later, me. While I have the basic details for these two years, the full story and other possible hands that dealt with him aren’t very clear. Back in the day, I did reach out to this barn he was purchased from, and they recalled having him, recalled getting him from a “flipper” (fitting the description of mr. petting zoo), but didn’t have a clear timeline. The lady there was pregnant and quickly downsizing when they sold him, so details were blurry.

But aside from the fuzzy two years, that’s it. That’s his whole story. Now I know his true age and birth year, and I know what his breeding (probably) is. We were only off by a year, thinking he was 18, and we always knew his other half was probably something goofy given his conformation and movement, so it’s nice to have those pieces of the puzzle. If I ever hear from the original owner, I hope to get more information. Specifically, I’d like baby pictures and/or pictures of his dam, plus his birthday. I doubt he has any papers out there.

He’s had a minimum of six owners, and technically been auctioned twice. His name has been changed. But that’s all behind him now, he’s with me and that’s it for him.

The lad, for good measure.

[ofmermaidstories]

1. No, self-insert for me tends to indicate an oc, or an otherwise named protagonist, while xreader is the reader, and will be referred to in the 2nd person

2. I don’t really think it’s polite to criticize a fic directly to the author unless they request it. If it is like, a tumblr post, I would generally say it would also be kind of rude, but also, if it is one of those fics that is super popular/well-known in the fandom, I think it would be fair to be like “I don’t really like X fic bc of Y reason” and leave it at that. But personally i’d probably just say it wasn’t really the vibe i was looking for or something more neutral. In general if you don’t like a fic tho, you should keep it to yourself

3. I never finish WIPs and the main point they tend to get abandoned at is when I get bored or have to make the connection between two cooler parts. I have v bad adhd. Usually i just like to take ideas and rotate them around in my brain for a few weeks. They rarely make it beyond there lol

omg i was talking about this the other day, with some friends, like—what does an x reader need in order to be rightfully counted as one? and for me it’s a reader-insert when there’s no like, legal name attached to the character—and there’s second-person POV. i think the 2nd-person POV is crucial for the… intimacy you need, to insert on. butttt maybe that’s a discussion for another time, lmao.

this is a little bit of a repeat of what i said to anon before, but like—i think the biggest problem with trying to critique a fanfic (unasked) is that… do you as the critiquer know the difference between recognising opportunity to strengthen a piece, vs. it just not being for you? like sometimes yeah, you just have to accept you’re not apart of the audience. my interest in the Big Fics, though, like the cornerstone, defining fics, is when they’re written in a way that makes them almost comparable to like, proper stand-alone stories? I think if they’re trying to be more ambitious than say, a smut one shot where you go in already knowing the setting and the characters and they know each other, then you kinda already have to look at it with a different lens? 🧐 Not to keep using H**** P***** as an example but All the Young Dudes is so incredibly popular that if i had read the fic (i only know about it bc its so popular lmao) I absolutely would feel comfortable enough dissecting it like I would commercial fiction—between the piece itself sort of treating itself like a book, I do think the popularity is almost a shield, LOL. Like… at that stage, you’re no longer punching down, you know? Whereas if I was to pick a random fic that got like, 80 kudos over five chapters, and its writer had a following of like, idk, 200 people, then that would be. and we don’t punch down!!!! we only punch up, bc then they give us a worthy fight. 👊🏽😈✌🏽 (im… half joking LMAO)

honestly tho, the hardest part of writing is like—writing. 😭 doing all the fiddly parts!! chipping away at it even when it’s boring, because you like—have to build up the connection to the fun part. 💀 it’s almost exhausting sometimes, actually… so i relate. 🥺 do you have any ideas you really, really desperately want to see on paper (on screen)? because for me the main driving force is literally just the promise of eventually—eventually—getting the satisfaction of being able to see it done and completed. like… literally, sometimes it’s the only thing that motivates me enough to work through what sometimes feels like stripping skin off of my back LOL.

[starjxsung]

dear darling star <3 how are you?

i hope im not bothering you with this message

it’s been a while now and tumblr just doesn’t feel the same without you </3

i hope you’re doing good (both physically and emotionally)

i’ve been out of order lately because my life has been super hectic, so here’s the rundown till now:

i passed the semester with equal parts a’s and b’s (ngl the b’a hurt a bit bc it’s the first time in like 6 years i’ve gotten a b in a class😪 but im just glad that i made it)

my uni friends and i went out drinking to celebrate the semester being over( there were a lot of college students and we felt old af). we got so drunk that it was so weird for me but it was so fun to let loose for the first time in a loooooong time.

we just finished booking everything we needed for lolla and im a bit more excited now.

i’ve also been watching kdramas now (?!?) and im kinda addicted

bittersweet news:

i’ve also been a lot more proactive in donating to help palestine (i still donated monthly b4 but i’ve tried chip in a bit more lately, considering what’s been happening in rafah)

for the not so good news:

two stray cats that we haven’t been able to spay yet gave birth so there’s that. i love kittens, they’re the cutest but i always get so stressed at socializing them and/or finding homes for them because people are irresponsible af with their pets here but i can’t keep taking cats in without my cats and my other financial responsibilities being affected </3 i’ve been kinda guilty for the trip too bc of the money we’ve spent

my dad found a premature newborn kitten and it sadly passed away too </3

and, finally, i’m taking my masters’ comprehensive tests in two weeks and im terrified of failing them (i’ll update when i get the results so 🤞🏻).

i hope you’re doing well, what have you been up to? i hope you’re taking good care of yourself💜

(adding some life pictures too, look at the babies, look at my mom’s big ass piece of pizza and of course, i hope you still drink your iced coffee consistently <3)

i wish you the absolute best, always <3

sending you love wherever your are, whenever you are✨

sincerely,

🐈‍⬛

My love!!!!!! The love of my actual life. I was just thinking of you because skz posted they would be doing that little kitten interview thing (they did it for us and us only ‼️‼️) I’m so excited we get to see Jisung with kittens 😌

you’re NEVERRRR a bother with your messages. They’re absolutely the best part of all my days and I’ve been thinking of you so often while on my little break from the internet. First I am SO glad to hear you finished with a’s and b’s????? You should be so proud of yourself my love!!!!!! And you went out to celebrate, I hope you had the most fun everrrrrr 🥹🫶

my sister and I just got our lolla wristbands in the mail and it’s all starting to feel so real. I’m excited but also nervous??? As fuck??????? And I still have 2 Ateez shows before then I’ve done absolutely nothing to prepare for 🥲 it’s crunch time when I get back home frfr

also pls send all the kdrama recs as soon as physically possible !!!!!!

I’m so glad to hear you’re able to donate and be of help 🫶 I’ve been continuing to donate to save the children and participating in active boycotts. Tuning into the news every day is just so fucking heartbreaking. I’m so proud of everyone on here doing what they can and donating ❤️🍉 I love you so much

Also FEEL YOU on the kitten thing…. kittens are so so so much work and they stress me out so bad. One of my neighbors at my parents’ house once left behind their cat who gave birth in our shed and we has to care for the last kitten who survived (super tiny little premature baby) and even though we rushed her to the vet and watched after her for a few days, she passed 💔 that was the moment that I remember being like….. kittens are just so much more fragile than people think and difficult to care for. You did the best that you could :( thank you for being there for them regardless.

Also how did the comprehensive test go? (If you already took it) I hope you did so so amazing my love!!!!!!!!

I love you endlessly and I’m thinking of you always. Momo and I are rooting for you (even though she’s with my dad rn) and we hope you’re taking good care of yourself. All my love to you, always always always 💓💞💫🫶 I’ll be back properly very soon and in the meanwhile I’m sending you all my love from the middle of nowhere ! I hope it reaches you

[south-sea]

Anon that sent in the Metal Hero AU here:

I can’t exactly draw metal sonic, so I’ll do my best to describe the designs.

Pre-meeting tails:

-take the classic metal design from sonic generations and add pieces of scrape metal to them, like a random piece of red metal put on their head, or a piece of yellow or light blue metal of their arms or legs. The scrap metal is in small amounts on them, since they do their best to not lose any of their original parts. The scrap metal is usually just used to cover really deep cuts or big chipped parts.

After meeting tails:

-still the same, but done a bit better since it’s someone else who able to use both hands and look over metal entirely. Tails even paints over the scrap metal once he gets his hands on some paint that matches Metal’s colors.

Modern design:

-when it’s comes to Metal’s modern design, aka the one tails builds for them, I can imagine it looking like his canon design, since tails and them worked on the design together.

-Despite being originally designed by eggman, metal is used to their design and can’t really imagine themselves looking much different.

-So, in the end, tails makes Metal their current canon design, but reminds Metal that if they want anything changed in terms of design, he’s up for it.

-Metal keeps Tails’s words in mind, just in case.

Fun Fact:

-when Metal was transferred to their new permanent body, tails asked Metal what they wanted to do with their old body. Metal decided to just store it away for safe keeping. They spent a long time in their old body, they can’t bring themselves to just toss it like it’s nothing.

-Metal will occasionally go check up on their old body and clean it up a little, making sure that it doesn’t collect dust. Tails got their permission to do it for them occasionally if Metal can’t do it when they want to for whatever reason. Or if Metal leaves the workshop for a while.

-if both of them are gone from the workshop for a long while, then whoever goes back there first will dust off Metal’s old body. If they both head back, then Metal will just do it.

previous post here!

i love early metal being kinda patched up. it makes me think of a ragtag little kid full of scrapes and bandages who's inevitably going to get into even More trouble, though in this case i know it's more like them trying to be independent.

them getting to their modern design being a gradual process is so good. and i have to say i love the thought of a metal comfortable enough with their own identity that they take care of themself/their old frame. what a cozy little AU, i love it

[bvannn]

Weekly update March 22, 2024

I’m still exhausted beyond words. I’m also on a bit of a spiral where I’m worried about the quality of my art and about my output, but it’s okay because I’m chipping away at old big projects still and as soon as classwork is subsided I’m going to try to learn a new skill, because any time I feel insufficient I learn a new skill so I can be better. Classes have been kicking my ass mostly but hopefully big things will be coming sooner rather than later.

I’ve been doing a number of drawings to time myself and update my comms. Turns out I’m a lot less consistent than I thought so it’ll be a bit longer till I get prices sorted out but it’s coming along. Also good chance I’ll add more on to it later once I sort out more things I can offer. My usual drawing style will be the main one, but I’m hoping I can also add the epithet erased style, the chibi dnd mini style I do sometimes, options for backgrounds, and eventually also music.

Problem with music though has been my exhaustion. The only music stuff I’ve really been drilling at has been bigger projects, but I’d like to just sit down and do a small beat as well at some point. Once I catch up with classwork I might try. I have been chipping away at a couple instrumental pieces, as well as the larger vocal cover and I did some lyric writing today for the two ‘finished mostly’ ones I’ve been sitting on. I did have to scrap and redo a character theme for the second time this week but once I have some time with a clear mind I can reroute that one and use the melody I wrote for the last draft. In development right now are an ambient character theme, a 16bit-ish instrumental theme, a Zelda medley, a song cover with Kyo, a small gabber song with no affiliation to anything, the two original vocal songs, one symphonic rock and one EDM, and a handful of others that I haven’t been actively working on. As soon as I have significant time I’m going to try to finish off some of them.

Once the music is finished I’ll have to throw visuals together for them too. I really want to put in effort to make animation rigs again but I don’t have the time or energy. I might do one for the vocal cover song since I could be reusing the character but I’m not sure it’ll be necessary. Once the cover is done I’ll storyboard something and decide then.

Comic is also still going, I haven’t had a ton of time to do thumbnailing/writing, but I should be down to the last scene. No guarantee I won’t have to add more after editing, but it’s getting there. Once that’s done I’ll try to post roughs of specific panels so it’s a bit easier to keep track of where it’s at. The thumbnailing is a big bottleneck right now because it takes a lot of brain power but it’s almost done. If I get myself together this next week it should be done by the next update. No promises though, I have a lot of classwork.

Last couple things, a good amount of my exhaustion is the result of insomnia, but I’ve been using that time to plan out TTRPG campaign stuff. I think I have some really fun creative encounters. I think I probably will try to write it out and find a way to release it, just in the interest of getting more people to play the anime campaign system (or whatever they end up renaming it to when the epithet erased version of the rules drops… eventually). I might throw together art for that too, but that’ll be a ways off, after the writing and encounters are done. Plus ideally I’d want the module to be available for free, so I don’t need to add too much anyway.

Last thing, as I mentioned I���m a bit unsatisfied with where I am with art stuff. I want to thank everyone who has been sticking around, I am trying to make it worthwhile for you too. But whenever I am unsatisfied with myself I need to learn a new skill, so I may be dipping my toes into pixel art soon. I do have that 16bit ish instrumental song I mentioned, that’s been on the back burner since January but I’ve finally been hit with the inspiration to finish it, and a little pixel animation would be nice to go with it, but that would require me to learn pixel art itself first, so I’ll try to do that in the coming weeks. Idk how soon though.

This next week will be primarily dedicated to clearing up schoolwork and fixing my sleep problem. After that I’ll try finishing up that cover song, finishing up comic thumbnailing, and finishing up that instrumental song, in that order. Anything else is a bonus. Will class work and insomnia get in the way? Probably, but I’m still doing my best.

[excadrill]

tagged by @yj-98 ilyyy 🫶🫶🤍

RULES: Reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

tag as many people as their are wips.. eep.. sorry i'd put this under a cut but it's not working on mobile 😭

ankhgiveaway.sai [i held an art giveaway in february and havent finished the prizes even tho i keep looking at them and going 'i need to and Want to finish this..']

yuukigiveaway.sai [same as above but the person who requested this one deactivated so i. don't know if i'm still gonna finish it]

sonomomo.sai [my current priority 'For Me' wip.. ive shared this wip w some people but ive never done a proper piece for the 'cycle of life and death' thing for them so that's what this one is..💙❤️]

exozinewip5.sai [pokemon zine oc piece, not supposed to share zine wips so idk if i should say more but it's of my beloved gymsona.. this zine will be free + digital and i'll ofc be promoting it more when it's done but it's soooo cute keep your eyes out for this one :3c '5' not bc im contributing multiple pieces but bc this piece is big and slightly intimidating for me so i keep saving different versions when i do major merges]

pocketzine-nymble.sai [another pokemon zine piece, so i can't really say more But it's not the only thing im contributing to this zine, ive just finished all my other stuff already]

oczine-thumbs.sai [thumbs for an oc zine i signed up for that i'll probably drop out of bc im not feeling like a vibe w everyone else there >w>;;; ]

philip.sai [philip piece ive had sitting around basically since i finished W.. about a year ago now i think ? but i transferred it to my '23 wips folder bc i still wanna finish it..it was supposed to be a 'this one will be quick and easy so i'll have smthn i Finished this month outside of zine stuff' but. zine stuff took up all my time and energy oops]

mrtourism.sai [this one's a silly post-canon kirihiko art i've Also had sitting around for like a year. i chip away at this one sometimes but then keep restarting bc im unsatisfied with the lines i wish i could just sit down and finish it bc i Love Him]

platform.sai [ummm silly ryotaro thing i drew after watching the den-o final stage ^__^ not a high priority one but it's cute so like. maybe one day]

punkjackhelmet.sai [file name was bc i was originally doing helmet studies before it turned into a full sketch. punkjack with the beat buckle bc i was doing this right after his special came out 🎃🫶]

colourwheel.sai [ummm well. yeah im not good at finishing art memes when theyre still on trend. i did all the sketches for these but i probably won't finish at this point..]

poppyangel.sai [poppy ex-aid i sketched as a break between big stuff the other day that i like a lot so. maybe will finish but might just post unfinished if i cant find the energy to get to this one sooner. feel bad that i like ex-aid so much but don't have any clean art done for it..]

millirider.sai [toku oc planning :3 i was saying last night i finally figured the helmet out which ive been struggling with for ages so hopefullyyyy i get around to doing a proper ref sheet]

im not at my laptop rn so im doing this off the top of my head but i THINK that's everything.. tagging umm @ankhisms @heartvisor @madaraki @circeancity @horrorcomedies @yu3s @pleuvoire @kosukeiichi @danothan @seashrine @asticassia @eclipse-song @kirider only if you guys wanna 🤍🤍

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

Have you watched Once Upon a Studio? If so, what did you think of the short?

Yes I have actually it is what got me to swap over to the Disney and Warner fandoms because I loved it so much

When I saw this short and alongside the Chip and Dale movie I got a lot of ideas I hadn't been so inspired in years even from Ninjago

I had a million and one ideas and I still have countless that just keeps spawning one after the other I have never been more invested in my writing and art.

It started out with just Oswald and Mickey but now it grew into this absolutely massive Library I literally have over 50 to 60 documents now that are Disney Warner themed

When I create, I create and people don't realize when I post a lot about something is because I have a genuine passion for it at the moment and I just want to contribute and I have so much time on my hands because as a disabled person I don't have a job I don't get out at all other than going to the hospital for my appointments,

So I have all this time to just draw write and create these worlds,

Disney and Warner gave me a whole another space where I could stretch out start new and just breathe again Ninjago left me hurt

I had an ex-friend who stabbed me in the back really badly and it wasn't only them but it was three others that I trusted,

Suddenly everything was quiet and then the one I trusted the most with my characters plagiarized one of them and not just her, but the whole entire set was basically just a bootleg of my own,

And that that cut deep not only because I know them and they are a brilliant fucking mind that can come up with big worlds just like me, but because I knew it was malicious I knew it was to hurt me

And it's also because I've put little pieces into my original characters of myself and the factor the Ninjago fandom didn't acknowledge that this creator had done so, a fandom I helped build up and contributed so much in those early days too they had all just left me....

A fandom I once contributed so much to that I have over 400 documents in my Google documents that are related to this Lego show and NOBODY cared, the countless hours, the countless days and weeks I put into these projects

And someone could come along and just steal a project from me that I had been working on for 6-7 years, at that point, I have art from 2016 of Violet, and one person because they were more popular than me could take it all away and claim it was original and everybody would believe them but never the original actual creator that they stole the cores of these characters from

I could do nothing.

Just before this short came out I ran into one of them and I had such a bad anxiety attack I had to call my wife to calm me down because I was shaking so bad at the sight of them, let alone they were with another disabled individual and all I could think of was please don't do the same shit to them that you did to me, I had to sit off into a corner for a moment because I was just so freaking scared due to all the trauma,

And that's why when Once Upon a Studio came out and I saw it and I felt so inspired it was easy to yank me from the Ninjago fandom because I was so hurt I just wanted to be safe and appreciated again, I wanted a safe fandom space and I have found that I have settled happily into the Disney space and found my new niche,

It's why Once Upon a Studio will always be loved by me because it led me into true healing from being hurt so bad.

[simplepotatofarmer]

Hello, so I used to have chickens back when I lived at my family's home, raised whole flocks up in our big coop and had favorites and enemies and one rooster who was convinced he could seduce me (he could not, despite his best efforts) and now I live vicariously through your chicken posting since I live many hours away from my family and only get to see them + the chickens at the holidays when Cecil and I go home.

My favorite chicken story comes from one of my lil brothers (A). He came home crying with my other little brother (B), after having been at his friend's house down the road. Dad was really worried and asked what was up, and A said he got attacked by our neighbor's rooster. Very weird because it's never happened before. As Dad starts to clean out the scratches, B then piped up, very unconcerned and unsympathetic:

"It was his fault!"

My dad, of course, inquires as to what he means by that.

"Well, he got told 'don't make eye contract, scratch your feet, or do chicken wings at the rooster, he'll take it as a threat.' and then he made eye contact, scratched his feet, and made chicken wings at the rooster."

Now, by this point my dad has determined the scratches aren't serious, and he gives my little brother a Look, and asks,

"Okay, well why did you do that?"

And my little brother, in a very quiet, ashamed voice responses,

"I thought I could win..."

HE THOUGHT HE COULD WIN.

oh sweet child.

i think my favorite chicken story is Zoom's Surgery Adventures.

because i realized something was wrong almost immediately when we got her but it was like. what. i was fairly new to chickens but nothing since she had gotten to our house was a red flag.

turns out in the hour long car ride from the farm to our meeting place was entirely too long for her to go without constant food and therefore she ate a shit ton of wood chips that the lady had put in the box with her and the others.

and so, within a week of owning chickens for the very first time, i had to do impacted crop surgery because zoom is incapable of not eating for an hour.

chickens are amazingly hardy. she's now healthy, the biggest hen we have, and has never had another crop problem after surviving table top surgery done by someone who was half-hysterical. she laid there as calm as anything.

this is the same chicken who is absolutely terrified of a very specific piece of wood and will run away in sheer panic.

but that's just chickens, i think. she can trust someone she's known for a week to cut her open with a scalpel and lay there with no struggle but god forbid there's a slightly suspicious piece of orange wood within five feet of her.

[thwip--thwip]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @yes-i-am-happyaspie !

How many works do you have on AO3?

In total, 24; 15 on my Irondad pseud, 9 on my legacy pseud.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

128, 654

What fandoms do you write for?

At present, I’m only really active in the MCU/Irondad fandom; but I’ve written in the past for Marvel, Sherlock, Deadpool, TASM, Supernatural, Glee, Doctor Who, & Psych.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Peter Parker’s Night Clinic for Kinda Crappy, Accidental Superheroes (3,149)

2. the world is not kind (2,013)

3. chosen family (1,200)

4. MTBI (977)

5. every day, every hour (turn that pain into power) (908)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! For the most part. At a certain point I fall behind in responding and always feel a little awkward responding to older comments (a pleasant shyness); but I read all of them and deeply appreciate every single one.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think my answer to that might be different than other people’s answers! I’d probably say count to ten; it’s a fill I wrote for the Whumptober 2019 prompt ‘shaky hands’, primarily from Tony’s perspective, post-Snap.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happy in tone, or in what happened? I like to think all of my fics end on the happiest note possible; I can’t stomach bad endings. Put em through hell, but make it worth it at the end.

I’d still have to say the world is not kind. It’s the way I choose to believe Endgame ended (until I get around to writing that giant fix-it).

Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I’ve noticed. Occasionally people will get a little pointed, but I try not to take anything personally; I’m just glad they got to the end and were moved by it enough, in whatever way they were moved, to comment.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written smut, primarily M/M, but only rarely in my published fics.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I’ve written crossovers; I’d like to write more of them eventually. The craziest one was The Adventures of Dean Winchester & Friends, for the SuperWho Big Bang 2012. It was ridiculous, self-indulgent crack. We’ve all been there.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Surprisingly yes! I was honored and pleasantly bewildered. Peter Parker’s Night Clinic for Kinda Crappy, Accidental Superheroes was translated into Suomi (Finnish).

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not had the pleasure! I’d really love to, I think that would be a unique experience and I love collaborative art.

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Oh god all time?? I presume romantic and not platonic ships, but I’ll give both. Romantic has to be Sterek, once a Teen Wolf girlie, always a Teen Wolf girlie. Platonic is Irondad, bar none.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It’s a threeway tie between the sequel to the world is not kind, my Pepper Potts character study piece, and the Infinity War / Endgame rewrite. Of the three, that last one has the least words put to page; but never say die, I still chip away at them all.

What are your writing strengths?

I can write a good emotional through-line. I like to call it emotions porn. Description has never been my issue, and commas love me.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing action, or solid plot. I’m not much of a mastermind, so I have a hard time with penning longer works.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve done it before when necessary; I’m forced to use Google Translate but if anyone ever wants to correct me I know it’s probably wrong! 🤣

First fandom you wrote for?

Since the site is gone from the face of the earth, I’ll tell you. Jonas Brothers RPF.

Favourite fic you’ve written?

the world is not kind would have to be my pick ❤️

Tagging: @blondsak @euphoric-melancholyy @fourdaysofrain @reachingforaspark

[corgoship]

 btw you should. tell me more about ALL of them but i will be patient, I wont ask about the secret things yet. y e  t. updates on the trip gone wrong fic? or, or, give the Most vague non description of love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling. I know the vagueness, so like. dont even say names or fandoms, just. vibes of it i beg, confuse the masses xoxo mwah ,love you

Ok ok ok you got me. Hold on. I need to pull up the list :))) (long post ahead)

zemo fic part 2 draft - what it says on the tin, the second installement in the Ozymandias series, a story about Steve and Zemo, with lots of hurt Steve to go around. For those of you unaware, this is the first work, which is complete:

The state of the sequel is... undetermined but I am slowly chipping away at it. When I'm in the mood.

one bullet - one of the chapters of the previously mentioned fic that I actually finished and singled out. There's a gun and crying involved, is all I'm gonna say

wips 3 electric boogaloo - i'll be honest this one is a mismatch of drafts for stuff I have already written, like my Steve & Peter fic, and big chunks of trip gone wrong, which brings me to:

Trip gone wrong! That's the working title, but I think I'll settle for "The Racehorse Connection". This story has been almost finished for months - i only need to finish one more chapter and the epilogue... more than 50k is done. Unfortunately whenever I go back to this fic, I get the urge to rewrite it... which would be tedious. Anyway it's focused on Steve and Clint and there's some Hydra and aliens involved. Pretty proud of some of the bits that happen later on. Fond of this piece, if only I could finish it...

dragon rider - my samsteve dragonrider au. Mostly I pop in there to add lore/ideas/plot points instead of writing anything concrete

hurry boy, it's waiting there for you - my!!! Kittycap story!! Which for once is just pure fluff!! Mutual pining and first kiss. The good stuff.

metameowphosis - now we're getting to my breaking bad era huh. I mentioned this a few times and I tag stuff with it. Basically if Kafka's Metamorphosis and Christmas Carol had a baby - Walt is inexplicably transformed into a cat and enlists Jesse's help to turn back. And he learns things along the way. Also pretty fond of this one.

cabroncito - my secret secret messed up breaking bad fic... now with a title, but I'm afraid that's all you're getting :) well, a bunch more info i suppose: it's one of the darkest thing I've written... along with zemo fic, but this one is worse imo... to be completed soonish???

love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling - my gale/walt fic!! Gale fixes him! That's it that's the story. Haven't gotten that much down yet but. I have some ideas.

WHEW okay that covers everything!!! Thank you for being interested i love talking about myself :)))

[mysterynoel]

1 Like = 1 Answer (AO3 edition)

So I did one of those "1 Like = 1 Answer" posts on Twitter, and I decided I would share my answers here as well with a little more words!

1. Favorite story written? It would be a toss-up between "And Today, You" (Fire Emblem Awakening, Lucina & Child Lucina) and "Love Persevering" (Fire Emblem Three Houses, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/f!Byleth Eisner). The former because it was a piece focused on Lucina that I had been working on for 1.5-2 years. It holds such a special place in my heart. The latter because I love writing sad, angsty things and it was fun getting to return to that with a dimileth fic.

2. Most popular work? If we go by kudos, it's "Like Her Eyes" (Dimitri/f!Byleth). I wrote it for a prompt challenge and was dropping it in review exchange threads for a year because it was a fluffy one-shot that worked well fandom-blind.

3. A work you wish was more popular? I feel really bad saying this, but "And Today, You." It's actually where it should be for a gen fic posted in the Awakening fandom and I'm really grateful for that. Still, I can't help but wonder about how it would've done had I finished and posted it not long after I started it. Or five years ago. You know, sometime when the fandom was still active.

4. Favorite trope to write? "You can't sleep either, huh?" Easily my favorite thing to write! I love those quiet bonding moments at night where people may act differently than they would during the day! I've written a one-shot ("Late Night Talks" Big Hero 6, Tadashi Hamada/Honey Lemon), a chapter of a fic ("Tell Me a Story" chapter 7, Dimitri/f!Byleth), and a multi-chapter fic ("Nights Under the Azure Moon" 4 chapters, Dimitri/f!Byleth) based around this type of discussion.

5. Least favorite trope to write? Cheater's answer: smut. Thought out answer: probably horror/suspense/thriller. Not the biggest fan of reading horror outside of a few fic authors, so I have no idea where I would start with writing it.

6. Something you want to write but don't know where to start? I have two long fics in my folder ("The Boar Prince of Remire" about mercenary!Dimitri and "Will you forgive me if I can't see your light anymore" about Dimitri's five years in exile) that I would love to actually be able to outline and write instead of simply writing random scenes. Slowly chipping away at them hoping 2023 will be the year I can post first chapters.

7. Longest work written? Currently, it's "Nights Under the Azure Moon" with 12,605 words and four of five chapters posted. I think "Notice of Transfer" (FE3H & Dead Like Me, Dimitri/f!Byleth) will overtake it once I finish and post the last chapter.

8. The shortest? Shortest fic is "Time's Flow, Interrupted" (gen) at 754 words. I think I have a chapter of "Tell Me a Story" that's shorter at around 600 words.

9. Author you would like to collab with? There's a lot of authors that I think it would be fun to come up with something with, but I'm sure I would end up falling into a beta reader position since that's what I'm used to. At that point, it basically becomes a group project where one person isn't doing their share and just going along with anything that happens, and that's not fun nor fair to the other author. However, if el_pepe ever ends his indefinite hiatus, I would love to join forces for some of the Persona 3-5 story ideas we discussed if he was cool with it.

10. What tag would definitely be included in all of your works? Definitely "fluff & angst!" I love adding some angst to make the fluff sweeter! And sometimes, nothing's better than upping the amount of fluff to make the angst hit like a ton of bricks.

[hekatekun]

yaoi was horrendous this week genuinely great job i am always obsessed with your uncanny ability to put todomatsu under a magnifying glass and burn him like an ant ^__^ cannot wait for chapter 5!!! i noticed a change in direction though particularly in how you characterize todomatsu's interactions w atsushi which i really liked!! i am curious though what prompted it :33

thank you^^<3 there's probably a few different reasons both intentional and unintentional. to start, ccckk will have 10 chapters, however in its original "outlining" i intended to have 9 chapters

i've shared my hyperlinked table of contents on a few different posts now, mostly as cockteasers. but also i literally don't think i could navigate the google doc without it atp

i think theres like 30k of it published? so there's on average at least 1-2k worth of a scene in all 6 of the unpublished chapters that i've chipped away at over the last 3 years, bc ofc some are more developed than others. there's never been a solid outline for ccckk but rather a string of scenes i knew i wanted at certain intervals, like milestones, and i had wanted to retro-engineer the rest around those concepts

with that in mind, ch10 isn't a real chapter but more like a coda i wrote right after publishing ch1 and so the rest has been "how do i move the story from ch1 to this epilogue?" the plot is only in the first 9 chapters, so i structured it with three "acts" in mind and tried to have the chapter titles reflect that - both for my own amusement and to ground the ideas better lest i forget what wasn't written yet. so if ch4 starts "act 2" then it should show off that shift. but also, i never intended ccckk to be a slowburn, more like a...... medium burn ig? it's supposed to be a todomatty character study first and foremost, after all

each chapter should feel episodic to some extent, since i paced it on individual chapter "goals" rather than wordcount or anything (tbh i actually thought i would only ever hit ~50k total but if i'm not even halfway done and i'm at 30k now? jesus fuck. fuck me. what the fuck did i do.) if i've planned/structured the story like i'm fitting individual glass pieces into a metal frame, then by god you're gonna get the yaoi-est stain-glass art you've ever seen outside church in your life. it's why ch4 utilizes something like a montage, to show that ~passage of time~ and what that did to their dynamic now in this act 2

as to what that situationship dynamic actually ended up looking like on the big screen, i definitely blame @moeatsushi's art for that one^^ a lot of it made me realize i could definitely make them..... messier? nastier? gayer? [insert tumblrbait adjective]? for a lack of a better word. and that i could balance That with the surrealist realism that i wanted to achieve when translating the show into prose. also helped me get out of a general writer's block<3

beyond all that, i think part of it comes from me now being 23 writing yaoi instead of writing yaoi at 20. not that my brains developed any more, but my opinions have changed. like, to the point i find it hard to read the previous chapters when i have to reference them. ch1 really is a mark of shame to me ngl only god knows how i wouldve wrote it now. i had a friend look at it a few weeks ago and they called that shit "college freshmen posting on wattpad" 😓 which is already how i felt about it but whatever. post and move on. i (probably) won't repost/edit since that's more work that no one's paying me for, and it (probably) isn't as bad as my perfectionist monkey brain feels. anyway this isn't about being emo it's my precursor to admitting that there's a good chance i went off script bc i refused to look super close at my own goddamn source material/notes and decided winging it was better out of a mixture of laziness and pride at the cost of tighter consistency/characterization

[goblin-scribe]

Something traumatic happened to me

The title I’ve chosen for this blog post gives me a knee-jerk feeling of being self-indugent and dramatizing what happened. There’s a discomfort that arises for me in acknowledging that past experiences have hurt and affected me. I guess it’s admitting that I have vulnerable, soft places where jabs will hurt, and my armour is not complete.

Simultaneously, there’s something powerful I find in using the past tense; ‘happened’. In that implication that the event has passed, and I have come through it, however scathed. I think I’ve yet to dive into how much damage has been done, as I’m reluctant to touch upon those painful, bruised places, stirring up memories and flashbacks to the incident I’ve worked hard to put behind me.

Initially I did feel that I was ‘dealing’ well with what had happened. I was most touched by the shock and hurt of it, but I managed as much vulnerability as I could muster and let friends and family take care of me and allowed myself to let them in – for a time. For as long as I felt it socially acceptable to be grieving and hurt. But as soon as I could, I was hurtling towards new experiences, towards bigger and wilder things that would surely lead to success, no matter how little thought had been put into the plans, and of course such new endeavours quickly fizzled out and left me feeling disappointed and hungry for my next feat.

Never time to rest. Never time to sit with what had happened and reflect upon it, heal from it. And now I find myself washed up on the shores of a life that is safe, comfortable, and surrounded by good people who care for me and love me, barely understanding how I’ve got here. Grateful that fate saw fit to put me on this rollercoaster of a year that somehow didn’t go horribly wrong. And yet at the bottom of my haversack, crumpled up and forgotten, I’m still carrying around this trauma of what happened, and it’s as big as ever, no matter how I try to ignore it.

I can’t fathom the ways in which it might be touching my life, damaging the work I’ve put into having this love, my successes, my resilience. But I feel that I owe it to myself for my strength and resourcefulness in how I picked up the pieces of my broken life and forged something sustainable and beautiful, to address this. To chip away at that trauma and to stop allowing it to tinge my blessed life with anxiety, distrust, cynicism, despair, self-doubt. I want to strive for more for myself and to believe that I deserve that.

The first thing that has come to mind, a tactic I’ve seen applied to infinite situations and which I have a gut-feeling may suit mine very well, is to write a letter to the person who traumatised me, and tell them what they’ve done, how it’s affected me and continues to, what that means to me, ask my questions: and then never send it.

To my ex-boyfriend, I’m certain we both know without a doubt the inciting event for what transpired between us. A shocking day, on my part at least. Sometimes I wonder whether you were really so careless as to let that information fall into my hands through simple error (and if so, how long would you have let the facade of commitment persist?), or if it was a calculated move on your part; a cowardly gesture to let me discover the truth for myself so that you wouldn’t have to go through the effort of having a sincere conversation with me. On one hand, I doubt your intelligence too much to believe that you could formulate such a plan. On the other hand, I know you were a cowardly person and that you would do most anything to avoid conflict or difficult conversations; those are so ugly, it makes you look like a villain when you acknowledge your own mistakes and fess up to what you could have done better, right? It’s something I knew about you from the early days, but I ignored it as I’m sure I ignored many of your worse traits, because I was in love with you and dedicated to you. I still hold a lot of anger towards you (if you haven’t picked up on that yet, I’d be rather surprised). I think what you did to me was outrageous and I hope that is the worst thing you will ever do in your life, because if you’re capable of worse, that idea of a good, loving person that I once had of you really is just an idea. The double-edged sword: your reaction to being found out…embarrassing, huh? Why were you the one crying? In a way, I’m glad you prostrated yourself and made yourself so undeniably unattractive and pitiful to me, because it meant there was no way I could ever retrace my steps back into your lying arms. But really, why did you let the situation go so far as to necessitate that whole scene? That’s the thing; if you hadn’t been such a coward and given me the respect of having a serious conversation with me where you treated me like an equal, I truly doubt I would be in the state I was and am today. This was avoidable. And that hurts me even more deeply than the situation itself. I don’t credit you with an iota of the fulfilling, beautiful life I’ve built for myself today, but I thank God that I am not continuing in that shallow existence at your side. I thank God I’m where I’m supposed to be right now. I feel sad for you, that somebody like you can exist; someone who can go to Christmas dinner with their girlfriend’s family, look everybody in the face, accept hospitality and gifts from her family members, all while being unfaithful. And the same goes for the way you took advantage of my friends. You took advantage of me and everyone in my life who showed you kindness, and that is dispicable and one of the worst aspects of it all to me. Thank God you leant into this villainy almost to stageplay levels of misbehaviour, because it meant that I would never take you back, want you back, or look back on our time together with an envy to have it once more. I go back and forth; why did it have to be so terrible; it’s a good thing that it was this bad and painful. But at the end of the day, it was wrong of you to do that to me, and I live with the effects of what you did to me everyday.

[sesmantelar]

staying late at work today - it unintentionally happened but I have four ish weeks until my next vacation. I just sold my sectional yesterday because it was way too big/wide for my dollhouse, and I used the cash to order a new couch (more like a loveseat, but I think it's perfect and the perfect size for my dollhouse). My apartment feels like it has way more space in it now so hopefully I will not feel inclined to stash hella stuff on the couch. It feels like I can now move around and breathe for the first time in forever, and I'm kind of excited to redecorate a little bit. Considering adding another large faux plant to the living area, as well as my harp once it arrives/a little music section. Good thing about my pedal harp is that it won't be an eyesore and it serves the energy of my dollhouse: angelic, feminine, grand, elegant, quiet, melodious, harmonious.

either way, I have no choice but to detach from my wants and prioritize my needs - I need to take two weeks off to travel, take gorgeous photos, make amazing connections and also relax/recuperate when I return before my summer contract - and when I start the summer contract I want to be in a much better place. I need to hit my savings goal for the year (a large chunk of the money I want to be sat on prior to leaving for switzerland next summer/fall). I need to have the majority of my debt paid off - meaning continuing to snowball (which I have been very consistent with lately) and continue chipping away at the larger amounts. I need to start my degree on july 1st, and when I do I need the majority of the tuition to be handled so I don't have to worry about budgeting all over again. I need to. I need to be able to allocate ALL of my spare funds towards self improvement - learning my pedal harp very well, advancing my figure skating, saving and depositing money for my grad school in europe next fall, getting my procedures finally done, building my travel portfolio.

I have sooo much to get in order but I genuinely do feel as though I'm taking the steps in the right direction - especially as it pertains to snowballing my debt. Now, regardless of how I feel, I never touch the credit cards. I will use them again once they are all paid in full (including the bigger card), but only to continue rebuilding my credit. Hopefully I can have a really good travel credit card by next year. I think the little over a year I have remaining is plenty of time to reach all the goals I previously set for myself.

Tomorrow I likely will wake up early to stretch, get ready, go to the rink closest to my job, skate four an hour, break my fast and then go to work for 14 ish hours. I need to be in the "montage" mode again so I can get to the point where I want to be. Amazing things are coming my way if I just maintain my discipline.

I will be paying off the hold for my previous college this coming week so I put off my filler touchup appointment - I just feel like if I get my priorities in order, I will be able to really enjoy indulging and treating myself once my cash isn't so tied up. Sigh because it's all in the name of improving myself and situation for future me.

Lastly, I FINALLY finished my carrd for my social media and started posting art again. I plan on posting art on here too once I have some more pieces completed, framesand my apartment together. I want my whole aesthetic and personal brand to finally flourish this summer. This feels like a new beginning.

I feel like I haven't touched on everything I could touch on in this entry but I'm here late so I will be updating as the night goes on :)