#childeater

[shldbwriting]

Child Eater is a supernatural thriller by Tiffany Higgins writing as Tifanne Messer.

[childeater46]

“I just, miss him. Okay?”

Goofy silly eclipse angst

(please don’t yoink I worked my ass off on this-)

[childeater46]

chat I’m obsessed with him I might draw him

reblog if you think Archie is the most adorable Illager there ever was in Minecraftia's history.

[catcas22]

I have a new dream job -- the reverse-version of the evil vizier from every medieval fantasy. Like you walk into the throne room of the local just-and-benevolent-yet-easily-led king, and I'm the greasy haired, sunken eyed figure in black standing behind the throne and periodically leaning down to whisper in the king's ear. But I actually give good advice.

"Sire, your brother absolutely is planning to kill you. Let me have him followed, I guarantee he either buys poison or hires an assassin within the month."

"I know you've looked into the eyes of the Dark Lord and believe that we will have peace in our time, Sire. But let's pump the brakes on beating our swords into ploughshares. And please don't host the peace talks in the heart of our kingdom within spitting distance of our most precious magical artifacts."

"If you absolutely must raise your bastard/your vanquished enemy's child/a random orphan alongside your trueborn heirs, please give them a defined place at court and a respectable job. Don't let them hang around feeling like the odd man out and growing ever more resentful of your heirs. Trust me on this."

"Sire, your generosity is one of your finest qualities. But you absolutely cannot empty the grain stores our famers have been paying into all year to alleviate our neighbor's famine. Give me a week, I'll put pressure on the guildmasters to suspend our tariffs on grain exports and offer the farmers a tax break for any surplus they produce this year. We can help Nextdoorlandia without causing breadline riots this winter."

"I know you believe that no man is born truly evil, Sire. But offering Childeater the Necromancer a chance at redemption is not worth gambling with the lives of countless innocents. And if you are set in your decision to spare him, don't trap him in the Fate Worse than Death crystal. I promise it will only make him angrier when he is inevitably released."

"Sire, for the love of god, do not ask that your children rule wisely and justly together in a spirit of cooperation. Name an heir, put it in writing, and award appropriate consolation prizes to the others, or your funeral will be a bloodbath."

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

a little bit of fun to lighten the mood... by German comedian Simon Gosejohann (found on ig when Bela B of Die Ärzte reblogged it)

not sure if you knew, but earlier this week a lion had been on the loose in Berlin...after some searching (and people being urged to be careful and stuff), in the end the lion turned out to be a wild boar.

Well... (look at the guys' faces 😊)

"No, no, you can't say the lion is yours. That won't do. When this gets out. I already told you back then in the brothel in Vegas that you shouldn't take the lion. Listen Richard, when word gets out that the gitarist of Rammstein has a childeating lion running around somewhere in Kleinmachnow...imagewise we're talking somewhere between Dahmer, Hitler and Wendler"

😊

---

who wants to bet there are people who'll believe it ���

[u-r-notimmune-tothe-fanblogtimes]

Avatar: The Last Childeater

[t0esniffer69]

i was up until 12 am messing with this fucking worm (i named him childeater)

[expfcultragreen]

Ontario conservatives voting in doug ford: "THIS will finally put a stop to the school telling our children what child rape is, which is exactly what WE dont want our kids to know, because we're nazi child rapists who keep the age of consent 16 and fuck our own kids when theyre in middleschool and teach them that everyone who thinks this is gross is the actual pervert and problem"

When the age of consent is that low, its somehow easy, within the bubble, to claim (and be found credible) that its artficially HIGH, that 16 and 15 and 14 and 13 and so on, are all the same.....and that getting hurt isnt rape its "bad sex" and people who talk about consent culture and rape culture are the real childeating weirdos, trying to trick you into their ovens

And of course its snitching and such to talk about it, and we all know what happens to snitches....the only part of streetlife white guys really like is that phrase about (they presume) how youre not allowed to tell anyone what happens at home

It would show weakness to say otherwise *snooty sniff*

Thats very much the culture, that its just dramatics to be honest when youre not blackout wasted and screaming in the street.....

....he's a pillar of the city, "he's doing it for us all....why would i attack me?"

Objectively he doesnt relate to you the way you relate to him, but i guess itd be "thankless" and biting the hand that feeds, and untactical, to focus on that part........certainly not in the press, i guess

[nielspaulus]

Every force has a react. The Nazis are childeater and Mengele the Bavarian BMW leader!

[jgabriel1920]

Bro ain't the Helltaker, he's the childeater.

Helltaker? I barely know 'er!

[childeater46]

I’ve been hiding something from you, guys.

IM STARTING A SHOW!!!! (Hopefully I can get it going in the next year or two)

Here, have the designs to munch on!

[relssah]

[potrix-the-queerschlaeger]

when people keep insisting that you'll change your mind about having kids oNcE yOu'Re OlDeR 🙄 . . . . . #calmdown #itsajoke #not #chindlifrässerbrunne #chindlifrässerbrunnebern #chindlifrässer #kindlifresserbrunnen #kindlifresser #childeater #childeaterfountain #brunnä #brunnen #fountain #märchen #märli #fabel #fairytail #altstadt #oldtown #bern #schweiz #switzerland (hier: Kindlifresserbrunnen) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFpiQbPDXQv/?igshid=1d0xw9s9eiw9o

[bignazo]

HOGG, the BIG NAZO monster-pet, was a popular fear that children (and tender adults) could face without mask or protective gear. The 6 foot distance limit, however, seemed to be an intuitive and consistent rule of engagement. #bignazo #hogg #monster #giantmonster #childeater #creaturetheater #socialdistancing #socialdistancing2020 #wildanimal #weirdpet https://www.instagram.com/p/B_YWQpXHWGS/?igshid=518g4zvyp10e

[lovercasted-a-blog]

          THE  HOUSE  IS  A  MOTHERFUCKIN’  BEACON  ,    or  some  shit.  he  guesses.  eddie  can’t  seem  to    NOT  WALK  BY    the  creepy  ,  old  ,  burnt - to - a - crisp  house.    that’s  where  it  lives.    steps  slow  ,  hand  instinctively  reaching  to  rest  on  his  fanny pack  ,  hovering  over  his    INHALER.    he  might  need  it.  worry  strikes  typically    confused    features  as  the  boy  can’t  seem  to    LOOK  AWAY.    even  after  falling  through  the  floor  and    injuring  himself  ,    he  still  manages  to  come  back.  maybe  ,  in  some  sick  and  twisted  way  ,  he  thinks  he    deserves  it.    he  keeps  in  mind  his    ESCAPE  ROUTE  ,    a  hole  in  the  fence  (  but  that’s  all  the  way  in  the  backyard      –––      how  fast  is  it  ?  ).        ❛        your    walking  diseases    don’t  scare  me  now.        ❜        he’s  giving  himself  a    PEP  TALK.    but  ,  who  is  he  kidding  ?    he’s  not  going  in  there  alone.    fuck  ,  no  !        ❛        we’re  not  scared  of  you.        ❜        a  phrase  muttered  beneath  his  breath.  who  is  he    TRYING    to  convince  ?  mostly  himself.  however  ,  that  clown  can    hear  him.    he  knows  that  for  sure.  but ,  does  he  know  he’s  not  safe  ,  even  when  he’s    ALL  THE  WAY    across  the  street  ?          /          @childeater  !