#chews these thoughts like a squeaky toy

[chibiveneficus]

i'm probably thinking too hard about this but the way that Bravern knows about the attack on the ships before he's contacted, the way his symbol and name appeared on the radar screen....did he hack the military. is he just constantly chilling in their systems. did he even think about what he was doing before doing so because it's just second nature to connect to your allies 'cloud mind' so to speak

and for that matter, if he did just slip into top secret servers nbd, of course he has internet access. he has watched James Cameron's 1989 The Abyss. what is his internet search history like. inquiring minds wish to know

[whimzeee]

IM GOING INSANE LOOK AT HIM

[schwazombie]

On all levels but physical I am doing this to Trafalgar D Water Law

[shirogane-oushirou]

suddenly thought about ma.ruki per.sona 5 roy.al again.... god. if i hadnt had that dream of ren a couple of weeks before looking into this guy, it would have been SO joever for me. i would have been the most annoying motherfucker alive. can you pinpoint the exact moment he made me ill? :3c and i can't talk about the nuances of how i feel about him without spoiling his entire social link ksjdnfkjn UGH!!!!!

[elliesmainhoe]

Ellie Williams Headcanons : RichOlderWoman!Ellie

I got this as an ask but Tumblr ate it 😱 so here you go anon.

Okay Okay. So, first things first, from day one Ellie was always adamant when saying that you were NEVER her sugar baby.

you were just her controversially young girlfriend who she liked to spoil and have perched on her lap during boring business meetings.

speaking of SPOLING-

she regularly takes you on trips to expensive high end malls which exclusively house designer brands and WILL buy you anything you look at as long as you hold her hand while you both walk around.

but CEO Ellie Williams is a busy woman, and doesn't always have a long enough interval between meetings to keep you company.

in those cases she simply kisses you cheek and forehead before handing you a small black card and saying "give me a show of everything you buy when I get home, hm?"

arthritis may be fast approaching but those hips do not slow

(jk she's only in her late thirties, and you know for a fact the extent of working out she does keeps her joints in check)

in fact she gives the best strap game. the experience and the variety of expensive toys and the regular gym routine = 🤩

always her arm candy

every once in a while after lovingly gazing at you for a little too long, looking at your soft supple thighs, pink lipstick coated lips and shiny hair cascading beautifully from your head. she feels insecure?

it's an odd feeling.

an unfamiliar feeling.

but Ellie is mature, it's one thing you admire about herand she knows that a problem won't be resolved unless she talks to you.

so she does, and as soon as the voices of concern fall from her lips, you soon put those thoughts to rest <333

she does the same to you!!

it was a normal day, you woke up to a cup of coffee on your bed side, a small pastry from your favorite bakery, a credit card and a note which read:

"Good Morning my love, I completely forgot about the early morning meeting I had today. I got you some pastries as an apology, I'm sorry we can't go shopping today like we planned, but here's my card and the driver can take you to the mall.

Love you pretty girl, Ellie x"

•••••••

it was a while later when Joel, your driver, pulled up outside the office building, you thanked him swiftly and walked quickly towards the automatic doors of 'Williams Enterprises Headquarters', expensive jimmy choo heels clicking against the concrete entrance. The security guard, Bob, nodded his head in greeting and you returned the gesture with a smile.

The receptionist was... different. the usual blonde haired girl was replaced by a middle aged woman with greying hair, deep set wrinkles imbedded in pale skin. "Hi what can I do for you today?" a high squeaky voice came from her mouth. a tone of voice you knew from years of retail work and customer service, you winced instinctively.

"Hi, I'm here to see Miss Williams." you reply, fingers tightening on the strap of the mulberry purse Ellie had gifted you for your 2nd anniversary a few months passed.

"hmmm. I don't see you on the schedule, do you have an appointment?" she smiled, the fakeness clear and tone of voice irritated.

"oh, uhm no. I'm her girlfriend" silence. the fake smile plastered on the woman's face falling, as she looked over behind her to a colleague who nodded in confirmation of the story you had given her.

"sorry if this is intrusive kid, but aren't you a little young." she spoke, and chewed a piece of him you hadn't noticed before rather obnoxiously. "I mean I can tell you're..." her eyes scanned your frame "reaping the benefits."

"I mean, god I can't blame you" she continued " if I had the looks and youth I once did I would happily suck off anyone for chanel. Now tell me doll, how much surgery has Mrs. Williams paid for you to have done, surely those tits aren't real?"

you quickly brushed past her, ignoring the intrusive questions and stepped into the elevator, pressing the floor Ellie's office resided on.

the site of you immediately brought a smile onto your girlfriend's previously pinched and visibly frustrated face. "Hi pretty girl,", she pushed out her chair from behind her desk, patting her thigh for you to sit on. "Hi Els." the frown you couldn't quite erase from your features furrowed your brows in a way Ellie couldn't ignore.

"What happened baby? you upset with me for leaving earlier?" she asked softly, adjusting you on her lap and kissing your temple. "nah it's not that- I just-" your hands instinctively began playing with Ellie's fingers, twisting the ring on her index finger slowly. "the new lady, in reception. she said something-" you sighed. "and I just can't shake it."

"do you think that, I'm a burden? that the fact I'm so young means I'm leeching off you? I don't want to do that Ells. I like dresses and bags and makeup and you give that to me because you can, but I just- if you ever don't want to buy me stuff, please tell me Ells, I don't want to take and take and take when you don't want me to."

a soft chuckle shook Ellie's chest "pretty girl, look at me. The reason I work is to spoil you, the reason I go to these bullshit meetings with these stuckup assholes is to give you and me a life where money is no object. I love you sweet girl" she kissed your plush lips, the tension seemingly draining out of your body at the touch.

"now, which receptionist said that?"

•••••••••

A/N: cute little hc and drabble to get me back into the swing of things.

[typingdyslexiaisathing]

Here we go with yet another random thought about "Obey Me!"

Cerberus loves squeaky chew toys. Like a lot. So MC will gladly get new hellhound durable squeaky toys for the dangerous pup.

This drives Lucifer crazy. Since Cerberus will just be going berserk on the toy and making the most persistent squeak noises all through the catacombs.

The Anti-Lucifer League marvels at the simplicity and genius of this.

[creamsickle-writes]

Forbidden Fruit: Shanks x F!Reader

Tags: nsfw, Modern!AU, AGE GAPS (at one point he mentions he's old enough to be reader's dad), mentions of creampies/breeding, dirty talk, daddy kink, sex toys, and phone sex

Thank you @aces-sweetheart for making this post which inspired me to write this fic!

Click here for part two!

You were desperate.

After looking for a boyfriend for so long, you were getting frustrated. Boys at your college seemed dull to you, and online dating was a total bust; finding companionship seemed impossible for you.

You wanted something romantic, sure, but right now, you needed something more sexual. You hadn’t been laid in god knows how long, and the sexual energy within you had reached its bursting point.

You thought to yourself as you lay in bed; you could’ve used one of your many toys to get you off, but that was growing old. You wanted someone to be there with you.

You chewed at your lip, trying to decide what to do with your frustrated self.

Until an idea popped into your mind.

Maybe you didn’t have a companion, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t buy some services to replicate the experience.

Immediately you perked up and began searching for online cams and various male voice-over actors you could listen to. 

But after looking at those, you decided that wasn’t quite right either…

That’s when you see a targeted ad about a phone sex hotline. You raised your brows; you had never considered doing something like that before… but the more you thought about it, the more appealing it sounded.

You clicked the number on the search engine page without even thinking it through.

You almost hang up, but you’re greeted by an automated voice.

“Welcome!” It cheerily rings, “You have reached The New World Chat Line! Please select one if you are interested in women, two of you are interested in men.”

You debate hanging up right then, but with shaky fingers, you select ‘two.’

The silence is loud, but eventually, you hear that automated voice again.

“Please select one of our many male operators to chat with!”

The phone begins repeating back various profiles that the men had recorded themselves. There were many different guys, each with their own list of kinks and physical descriptions. You chewed your lip as you listened; some were interesting but not enough to get you to bite the bullet.

That is, until you hear a deep, raspy voice. 

“Hey there,” It starts, “You can call me Akagami. Uh, let’s see, I’ve got red hair, and I’m a little over six foot… I think I’m around six foot six?”

Your eyes bulged; he considered that “a little” over?

“I’m looking for sweet girls that like to play with older men. Real innocent, cute types are perfect for my style of play. I want to guide a girl, teach her everything from how to squirt to how to please me-“

You don’t need to hear anymore. You want this guy now.

Pressing ‘one’ on impulse, the phone begins to ring.

It doesn’t take long before there’s an answer.

“Hey there, sweet thing,” he says it with a familiarity that causes your body to heat up.

“U-Uh, hi-“ you want to smack yourself as your voice comes out way too squeaky and high-pitched.

He laughs on the other end, but you can tell it’s all in good fun, not out of malice.

“And how are you doing today, princess?”

“Uhm,” you pick at the hem of your shirt as you lay on your back, “I’m feeling a bit lonely. I wanted to talk to someone…”

You can hear the smile in his voice, “Is that right? So you decided to talk to me? I’m flattered.”

“Mhm…” you trail off, not sure how to get the ball rolling. 

But fortunately for you, he’s a natural. 

“Honey, you sound a bit young,” he starts, “How old are you?”

“O-Old enough!”

He chuckles, “So you’re a younger girl.”

Your face burns bright red. Were you seriously so obvious that he could read you so easily? 

“Hm, don’t worry, your little secret is safe with me.” He purrs it into the phone, and your body shivers at his tone, “Is this your first time calling for this kind of thing?”

“Um, yeah…”

He chuckles lowly, and your heart skips a beat, “Don’t worry, we can talk about anything you want. It can get sexy, it can get sad, hell, you could just tell me about your day; I’m all ears.”

You smile a bit at his words, your nerves starting to disappear. 

“Well, I called because, like I said, I’m kinda lonely…” you pause as you debate what you want to say, “I’ve been trying to find a boyfriend but no luck…”

You hear him “aww” as he listens, and you talk a bit about your dating struggles, how college has been challenging, and how you’re up to your limit with how sexually frustrated you are. 

“Things can be rough at your age. I remember I had a hard time when I was in college…”

“How old are you?” You chirp up, and he laughs. 

“Curious? I’m 40 now.”

You hummed, “You’re old enough to be my dad.”

“Yeah?” He chuckles, “I kind of figured that.”

“It’s kinda…” you swallow, unsure how to finish your sentence without dying of shame. 

“Kinda what?” He pushes, and you can practically hear his smirk, “Go ahead.”

Your core lit up at his words, “Even though you’re almost twice my age- no because you’re almost twice my age… it’s really getting me worked up.”

He growls, “Yeah? You like fantasizing about older guys?”

“I-I do-” you whimper, “My dad has a friend… I’ve always found him attractive…”

“Sounds like you’ve always had a thing for older men.”

“Always.”

He groans at that, “Dirty little girl… don’t you know it’s girls like you that make things so tempting for guys like me? We want to take advantage of cute things like you who have no idea what you’re getting into…”

You bite your lip, “But I want you to take advantage of me.”

“Fuck-” he hisses, “Alright, I don’t know if I can take the idle conversation anymore, princess. You’re making me so hard right now.”

You swallow, working up the courage to make the first move, “Can you tell me how hard you are? Please?”

Your core flutters at the grunt that comes from the other end of the line.

“It’s getting really hard, baby. My pants feel so tight right now just listening to your sweet voice say such dirty things.”

He groans, and your ears perk up at the sound of fabric shuffling in the background. Your heartbeat accelerated at the action.

You squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve any discomfort that grew between your legs at his words.

And with that, there’s a click from the phone. 

“Hello?”

“To continue, please enter payment information.”

Shit. Your free minutes ran out. 

You scrambled to grab your wallet on the bedside table and fished out your card. Quickly, you punch in your credit card info before the phone rings again. 

A warm chuckle greets you, “Did I lose you?”

“Yeah-“ you sigh, “I needed to enter some card info.”

You can hear the smile in his voice, “I see… don’t worry, I kept your seat nice and warm for you~”

“Thank you,” you laugh, “I appreciate it.”

“Yknow,” he starts, “I bet a slutty little thing like you has a bunch of toys to play with. Why don’t you take one from your collection and use it?”

“O-Okay.”

You whine as you remove your hand from your cunt and get out of bed, pulling out a box from underneath it. You pull out your favorite clitoral vibrator and a basic dildo. You describe to Akagami the toys you’ve chosen.

“Good girl,” he purrs, “Try easing that dildo inside first…”

As you lay on your back, you spread your legs, teasing your hole with the silicone tip. You whimper softly before pushing in and gasping at the intrusion. You’re plenty wet, so the toy slides right in, bottoming out to the suction cup base. 

“I-It’s in- “

“Good, good.” He hums. “Turn on the vibrator now. Make sure it’s on the lowest setting, alright?”

You adjust so that you’re holding the phone between your shoulder and cheek, your dominant hand turning on the vibrator and placing it on your clit. Even though it was only on the first setting, the buzzing made you jump. 

“God, I can just imagine your flustered body writhing…” he laughs, “You said you’re in college, right? Don’t you have roommates you’re worried about?”

You bit your lip, “She won’t be back for a while… I think.”

“Oh? You think?” He teases, “Now you’ve got me thinking about if I was in your dorm room with you…”

“W-Wh-” you try to get your words out, “What would you do if you were here?”

“Mm,” he drawls, “first, I’d kiss my precious princess. Swipe my tongue over your lips before playing with your tongue.”

Your face grows hot, and you wonder what his tongue would taste like. Does he drink? Smoke? Your tongue darts over your lips as you ponder.

“And I’d play with your tits… squeeze them and play with your nipples that I bet are so hard right now.”

You use your free hand to pull at your nipples, which are just as stiff as the older man speculated.

“A-And then what?”

“Eager, are you?” He stifles a laugh, “I like that….”

“Just for you, Daddy.”

A silence lingers, and for a while, you’re worried you might’ve made him uncomfortable. 

But then he speaks. 

“You know, a lot of dorms have security. And even if yours doesn’t, other students will likely see us…” You press your lips together, wondering where he’s taking this, “You think they’d think I’m your father when you lead me to your room? That our relationship is innocent?”

Your eyes flutter shut as he continues, “Or do you think they’d know I’m just there to use your younger body? That I’m just a perverted old man fucking a college girl?”

“I-I-“you stutter, tossing your head back, “I don’t know-“

“Turn up your toy, princess. Let Daddy hear your moans.”

You obey his command immediately as if he’s placed a spell on you. Your finger clicks the button on your toy again, making the vibrations grow stronger. 

“Oh, Daddy-” you sharply gasp, “I need your cock- how big is it? Tell me-“

“Around eight inches when I’m this hard, princess.”

Your mouth watered.

“Never had a dick that big in me before…”

He chuckles, “No?”

“It’s probably too big-“

“Daddy will make it fit.”

You moan openly, your cunt squeezing the dildo inside you at his words. Even though he didn’t give you permission, you turned the toy up one more notch. You bit your lip, knowing you’d get in trouble if he found out. Over the sound of your toy, you hear wet noises coming from his end.

“Would you let Daddy fuck you raw, princess?” He grunts, “Would you let him creampie your little pussy?”

“Yes-“you breathlessly gasp, “Y-Yes, I want it-“

“Mm,” he moans, “You answered that quickly. You could get knocked up, you know.”

As you approach the edge, your breathing goes shallow, “Don’t care, just need you to claim me. I need you to own me-!”

“Fuck-“he draws it out, “I’m gonna make it so you only want Daddy’s dick. None of those little boys at school will be able to compete.”

You whimper and arch your back as your toy happily buzzes away, stimulating you in all the right ways. Your clit throbs and pulses as the toy surrounds it, and your insides tighten around the other toy. 

“I’m so close-“

“That’s good; turn up your toy one more notch.”

“I-I can’t-“

He hums, “A toy that only has two settings? That doesn’t sound right… did you turn it up without permission?”

Your voice trembles, and your legs shake, “Yes, Daddy…”

“Naughty thing,” he tsks, “I’ll allow it this time, but only because we’re both so close-“

Your eyes shut tight as the pleasure overwhelms you. As you approach the end, your legs begin to quiver, and your heart rate is off the charts. Your body tense as your feelings become too much to bear. You needed to cum.

“Daddy, I-I need to cum!” You whimper, “Please let me cum!”

“Ngh-“He grunts, “Cum for Daddy. Squirt your cum all over your cute fingers* 

Your vision goes dark as you cum. Your body seizes, and your toes curl as your back arches off the bed. Your chest heaves, and you hear a low growl from the other end of the phone, “That’s it, that’s it, princess. You sound so pretty when you cum for me.”

“Daddy,” you moan helplessly, “Cum for me too.”

Akagami’s breath grows ragged as he gets closer, “Don’t worry, princess, Daddy isn’t far behind-!”

He lets out a low groan when he cums, and you bite your lip, listening to him. After a few moments, everything grows quiet. 

“I’ll call you again Daddy. Let’s play again soon, okay?”

“Of course, baby. I would love to guide you through another orgasm.”

And with that, you hang up the phone.

[hanafubukki]

Hana, scenario just popped in my head.

Just to clarify, put this before Yuu and Lilia got together.

Okay so, Lilia Tsum is getting all of Yuu’s attention, absolutely loving how he’s being called adorable, a precious bean, being hugged and kissed because he’s such an adorable Tsum, cradled and loved by this giant version of their beloved, how more can this stuffed toy ask?

Well, in reality Tsum Lilia is doing it to also annoy normal Lilia, because he thought these two were a thing, what is a little game of jealousy? Tsum Lilia gets to spend quality time with this version of his own lover, he’s sure Lilia is going to snap at him and he’s going to turn this into a hide and seek game; wrong.

Lilia, who wants to confess but fumbles it everytime and doesn’t want to come up as intense to Yuu, he’s on the sideline just watching all of this with a look of (°ㅂ°╬).

Yuu, unaware or just not feeling confident enough to confess to this dilf so they get to hug and kiss this version of their crush because it’s adorable, anyone would understand that cuteness aggression, this is one way to get those loving feeling off their chest.

And they just look at Lilia like “You doing alright? You’ve been awfully quiet” because they think they did something wrong, maybe he got bored of their conversation? Is he late for something? They aren’t, maybe they could offer to go to Sam’s and buy snacks to just, you know, be with him a bit longer.

And Lilia is just “No, nothing, just thinking of a, future training regime for the boys” he’s trying to reach for the Tsum and go prank people because the feeling and laughter at someone’s misfortune is WAY better than this burning jealousy, maybe he could get back to his Tsum with a prank or two.

And it clicks to Tsum Lilia, how coward can this version of himself be? Not on his watch!

So he disappears from Yuu’s arms and makes them trip, Lilia catching them by the waist, Tsum Lilia taking this advantage to tackle Lilia and making both fall on each other.

With both on the ground, maybe in a stupid position who knows, Tsum Lilia jumping on his counterparts head like “fucking do it dude! I know you love them, just confess!”

Okay, that is all I can think of, you go off, how would you end this? With Lilia squeezing the Tsum like a squeaky toy?

Hello Anonie 🌸🌷💕

I find this sweet and funny because not only are we loving and cuddling such a charming little one but it implies the tsum has more charm and bravery than his counterpart 😂😂

Tsum Lilia got together with you but Lilia?? lol he’s behind the game 🤣

And hehehe my~ oh my~ how the tables have turned that your own tsum wants to mess with you~

The way our Lilia is sidelined and just fuming!!! Oh do I love it. Those kisses and cuddles should be his! HIS!

And then you get Tsum Lilia insulting himself and playing wingman. And just, whoops, they tripped! Catch them! And oops! They both fell!

Ooohhh how wonderful would it have been to have them fall and kiss, but of course, Lilia’s reflexes have to kick in now of all times 🥲

Can you imagine being a third party? And watching this cute bean just jumping on Lilia’s head while he’s on top of someone??

I hope Malleus, Sebek, and Silver are watching this and being amused 🤣😆

I think that Tsum Lilia would be ruthless to get Lilia to confess. If he doesn’t do it now? Oh he’s going to make Lilia jealous ten fold and then start wing manning until Lilia has no choice but to confess.

This would be a fun story to tell in the future while Lilia now has an excuse to get his tsum counterpart and squeeze him like a chew toy.

Until you free him from his grip and lovingly hug the tsum, after all it’s why you two are together 💞

Lilia is punting it to the sky when he gets the chance 😂😂jkjkjk

[anartistinahat]

I GODDAMN LOVE WANDER SO MUCH PLS HE IS SO SILLY SO GOOFY I LOVE HIM I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT HIM PLS I LOVE HIM AND HIS PILOT VERSION HE IS PERFECT NO MATTER WHAT I WOULD COSPLAY HIM SO HARD PLS I LOVE HIM IS UNATURAL I LITERALLY AM STARTING TO SPEAK INSANILY HIGH PITCHED AND SQUEAKY TO COPY HIS WAY OF SPEAKING (i used to do that before but its just getting WORSE.)

Also idk who designed lord dominator wander and wander dominator so uh if anybody knows tells me so i can credit them 😭

He is so dog chew toy shaped, i need a plushie of him so i can pour milk into him suck the milk off then throw him against the wall to hear him make a loud thud i need to treat him like the internet treated spamton plushie but everything in the spectrum,i will dress him up add pretty and kiss his forehead... Then i will hold him by the neck and throw him out the window pls i need a live sized plushie of him pls pls pls

[sanjifucker42069]

Hit Me? Sanji x Reader

Word count: about 1.2k 

Bro….the dodgeball game…sanji is so stupid, pathetic wet cat of a man coded...I wanted to throttle him. I want to hit this man with my 2003 ford prius yoda style. I want to chew on him like a squeaky toy

Warnings: fem!reader, heavy handed teasing, you wanna make sanji cry apparently, VERY SUGGESTIVE, use of the word cock lol, semi-nsfw, no fucking tho…unless? 👀👀👀 sanji might be semi ooc, I am obsessed with the idea of a reader that sanji doesn't have the usual chivalry towards?? Like bless him he'd try, but you're just such a shit.

“Why yeah it'd be my pleasure ma'am, you can hit me wherever you like!”

Oh. Now wasn't that intriguing?

-----

Sanji sulked on the sidelines, fiddling with a lightly crumpled cigarette. Taking pity on him you sat down next to him. Sanji shot you a lazy grin, one that didn't quite reach his eyes. You smiled back, lightly pushing his shoulder.

“I should be mad at you, you could cost us the match.” You joked. Sanji grumbled, his words unintelligible. He could barely make out that ‘you wouldn't understand’ and ‘that he was weak okay!’

You laughed, eyes turning back to watch the match in front of you. You didn't feel too defeated, you trusted your captain. 

“It's okay Ji. I don't think anyone could've gotten out faster than I did! You still did good!”

Sanji turned to you, hearts dancing in his eyes. “And who would dare throw balls at such beauty?! A lovely lady such as yourself shouldn't have even had to partake in such a barbaric display.”

“You saying I can't handle some balls? I happen to be very good at handling them.” You teased. The result was instantaneous, Sanji biting back a perverted laugh, a cute blush on his cheeks.

“Oh angel, really? I didn't expect you to be so saucy.”

There were many things that were undeniably true about you; You were in no way one of the stronger straw hats, you loved a good dirty joke, and you loved nothing more than making your little love cook squirm. If Sanji wanted to pretend all women were angels capable of no wrong, well, who were you to take advantage of that?

You feigned innocence, even cocking your head. “What do you mean? I didn't drop it once.”  

Sanji squirmed, avoiding your gaze. You wanted to crack and snort loudly at his cute face. Instead you pursed your lips in thought.

“Love! I…uh-” he cut off when you couldn't hold it in anymore, a raucous laugh escaping you. He watched you slap your knee like it was the funniest thing in the world. He pouted. “(Name) that's not fair.”

“Oh relax, you big baby.” You cooed. 

A steady silence resumed between you two, watching the match with bated breath. Things weren't looking so good. As the enemies advanced on Zoro, Chopper, and Luffy, so did you with your own attack.

“So.” You began. Sanji hummed in acknowledgement, eyes focused on the field. You paused. Was this really the time to flirt with the man? Probably not, but you were nothing if not an opportunist. You grinned at him, exaggerating his swooning.

“It'd be my pleasure ma'am, you can hit me wherever you like, hmm?”

‘You were a lady!’ Sanji reminded himself, trying to bite back a growl. You just loved to get under his skin, didn't you? He was flushed in embarrassment. It's not like he wanted to lose the match! It's not his fault he had a weakness for pretty women! 

The crowd was aroar, you could hear your crew shouting. Oh. Zoro was out. Sanji began yelling at the swordsman, before he turned his attention back to you.

“So?” Sanji tried to sound unaffected. Your cute giggles reached his ears. Seriously! You were such a little tease, so cute, but so unattainable. You seemed to love riling him up, and he wanted nothing more than to make you his. He wasn't used to women not only reciprocating, but flirting back at a rate that made him dizzy. 

Honestly, the both of you needed to stop being cowards and just confess already.

“Who's the ‘saucy’ one now? You're out here parading your little masochist streak.”

“I am not!” He blustered.

“Where were you hoping they'd hit anyway?” You purred out the question. Sanji tried ignoring you, focusing on the match, but he was one man! One currently very weak man.

You pouted. “I was just joking, Ji. Your kinks are your own. I'm not here to shame you for it.”

“It's not a kink!” He argued. You were relishing this. Sanji was always such a gentleman, so giving and dedicated to worshipping women. And yet, you, you were one of the only women you'd ever seen him snap at and lose his cool with, his hot temper getting the better of him.

Taking advantage of this you leant closer, your thighs touching. Sanji snapped out of his anger, eyes darting to where your half naked leg pressed against his long suit trouser-clad one. Too caught up in where you were touching him, he didn't notice how close your lips were to his ear.

“So you wouldn't like it if that pretty Porche lady pelted you with those dodgeballs? Or tied you up? Or manhandled you to make you be a good boy?”

Sanji was sweating, his heart eyes betraying him. Yeah, you knew your chef. You dropped your voice lower, bracing one hand on his chest.

“Forget hitting, what if she stepped on you? Would you like that, Sanji?”

The man in question whined, quiet pants escaped him, his eyes swirling with lust. He let his eyes fall closed, the dodgeball match long forgotten. Bingo! You felt yourself grow wet. Yes, you were a bad guy! It's just so easy to rile him up. Besides, Sanji would never spare you a passing glance, clear that you annoyed him. So what was the harm in airing out your frustrations like this?

“Love.” He gulped, shuffling around to change how he sat. You grinned at him wickedly. His reactions were so cute, you definitely overstepped the line.

“You didn't answer the question, cook. What if she stepped on your cock, hmm? Only lightly, of course, wouldn't wanna damage the goods.”

Sanji made a noise halfway between a groan and a choking sound, his hand darting up to grab the one you had pressed against his chest. You startled. You could see it in his eyes, the disgust, that unmistakable look of discomfort. Of course he wouldn't want to discuss this kind of stuff with you! You were one of the guys!

“Shit.” You withdrew your hand, not noticing how Sanji's tried to grab you. You'd definitely overstepped the line! “I'm so sorry Sanji, that was completely uncalled for.”

“Love.” He rasped. You were flustered, trying desperately not to stare at him.

The crowd was aroar, people around you jumping and shouting. You looked for a way out. 

Wait? What the fuck?

A brown ball of fluff was lying crumpled on the court lines. 

“Chopper! Oh shit!” You yelled, hurriedly getting to your feet. “Sanji I'm so sorry, I- you can yell at me about this later, I promise.” 

Sanji watched you speed off, hurriedly running to their youngest member. He sighed out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. You were going to be the death of him! You'd made him so hard, so quick, and then, like a true tease dashed off before he could properly engage anything. When would you realise that it was you he wanted to treat him like that?

Later? 

Yeah. Yeah he could yell about it later. 

Right now, he needed a fucking smoke and a cold shower.

-----------

Looks like lingerie part 3 is coming i promise ;-; I'm just having trouble writing it ;-; here's a little drabble instead I do have SOOOOO many drabbles I've worked on in the mean time though?

[inkymkk]

Gary definently jokingly bought Ash a squeaky chew toy, Only for Ash to actually use it when hes frustrated,

Gary cant tell if this is gonna end bad or good, all he knows is that theres gonna be alot of noise if he refuses to cuddle 😭

thought of this at like 3am but fell asleep while making it 😭

[cirrus-ghoulette]

This thought is brought to you by @divine-misfortune and @mibo-nin

Dew wears a muzzle during rituals.

It's a thick fabric, not unlike a face mask, that locks in the back. It's hidden under his balaclava and his mask, and if you weren't looking for it, you wouldn't know it was there.

Why does Dew have to wear a muzzle, you might ask?

When Dew is excitable, he gets bitey. And at rituals, he is ALWAYS very excitable. So, after a few incidents with biting bandmates and one close call with an audience member, they invested in a muzzle, laced with a bit of black magic to stop Dew from being able to claw it off so easily.

Putting it on is an ordeal in itself. Dew refuses to put it on himself. The only ghoul able to do it without backup is Cumulus, and that's only because she distracts him with cuddles and head pats and kisses and praise while she's slipping the clips into place. Otherwise, if Cumulus is busy, it takes all of the ghouls to pin Dew down while another ghoul wrangles the muzzle onto his face.

Papa's had to step in once, and the ghouls were all stunned into silence as Dew kneeled perfectly, looking up at Papa like he had hung the moon and the stars as he slid the muzzle over his mouth.

Inside the muzzle is a bit, used to keep Dew busy and focused while he's performing. He bites through them a lot. They come in different sizes and shapes and chew-levels, depending on what Dew needs that day. One time, Swiss switched out his regular bit for a squeaky toy bit and Dew didn't realise until he was on stage, halfway through his Ritual solo, and he could vaguely hear squeakysqueakysqueakysqueakysqueaky in his ears as he really concentrated on hitting the right notes.

[ohbo-ohno]

Having thoughts about Johnny being so sad when you don’t play with the toys he gets you. He worked so hard to find ones he thought you’d like and you won’t even touch them :( he gets so sulky and pouty that Simon has to start including the toys into sex just to make him even slightly happy. Wrapping your hands up with the tug of war rope, making you bite down on the squeaky toys and using it as a gag. Anything and everything he can think of to include them.

i have a deep deep love for kidnapper!johnny being genuinely upset when you don't reciprocate feelings for him at all. like, he's really truly hurt by the fact that you're not happy to be with him and you're just like ?????????? and ghost is just exasperated. he's got to deal with an angry girl and pouty puppy, it's a lot 🙄

i loooove this ask, wish i had thought of it myself it's so good lol

i like to think that ghost and soap buy you toys in the hope that you'll play with them of your own free will and start to associate positive feelings with them, so forcing you to play with them is kinda counterproductive. doesn't mean johnny won't bully you into tug of war, but generally they want you to choose to pick the toys up when you're having downtime

but you don't. because of course you don't?? like duh??? so ghost gets a little creative. he doesn't want to force a positive association for relaxed afternoons, but incorporating the toys during sex will certainly help you think of feeling good when you see them. plus it gets johnny to stop feeling so pouty and sad and moping around all the time

so sure you don't curl up with a chew toy like johnny does, but you gnaw on one when they gag you :( and johnny maybe ties your wrists together with rope and tugs you a bit, pretends he's playing tug of war when you yank back, gets all excited and worked up

i really wish i had more to add to this but i simply do not :(

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Story time from fish camp: content warning for the god damn dog

So, yeah, fish camp, forget connecting with nature, nature's connecting with you at high-speed impact via fish gut. Yes, the damn dog deserves every ounce of derision, buckle up, here we go.

Let's preface this by saying the dog does not go to fish camp. He stays at home. We are all aware of this issue. No one was surprised by this chain of events. Well, maybe the dog was surprised because he has half brain cell bouncing around in his useless skull but no one else was surprised.

So Adak is a gorgeous dog. He is a specimen of his breed. He goes out in public on a leash and strangers walk up and ask about his stud. We are talking kennel club level specifications.

He is also the most cringe fail fucked up canine who ever lived. You see pugs that can't breathe because their faces are too squashed and their legs don't work but their supposed to look like that because some eugenicists thought it would be fun to pose new and exciting questions about ethics. Those fuckups are intentional.

Adak is a retriever. He was intended to be a duck dog. He is meant to sit quietly next to you while you shoot a duck and then go get it for you. That's the entire purpose of his breed. He came from a litter of pups that do this competitively, and his owner used to train dogs to elite levels of competition. He now no longer does this for reasons we will get into in a moment, but suffice to say this dog started with higher expectations. He's not a Labrador he's a Chesapeake, a breed known for their intelligence but somewhere along the line something went fucking wrong.

The dog cannot retrieve. He doesn't know how. Its not instinctual and he refuses to learn. We have tried. People can't teach him, dogs can't teach him. He won't fetch a stick, or a dog toy or a training bumper or anything else you throw for him.

The dog is gunshy. He panics at the sound of a shot. Sometimes he forgets he's gunshy and there's a solid thirty seconds between the shot and when he decides to lose his shit.

The dog cannot sit quietly. If he is not the center of attention he makes sounds I have not heard from any other organic creature. Is is a squeaky hinge, a far off engine, something stuck in the garbage disposal? No, it's the dog, steadily getting louder because no one has looked at him in the last 2 minutes.

So yeah, arguably the worst possible example of a retriever. He's pretty, he's friendly, he's a good dog and a wonderful pet, just never expect him to do anything useful. Currently his primary function is vacuuming up toddler meals from underneath a highchair so he's happy.

But there's another peculiarity about this damn dog.

He has an engine fetish. A fixation, an obsession, whatever you care to call it. This animal's one true goal in life is to meld his skull to an engine plate and crack off all of his teeth on a spinning flywheel. Yes, some of this is learned behavior because he knows that when an engine starts up his people are off to go do things, fun things, and if he makes himself annoying enough he'll get to go with us. But that only accounts for about a third of how fucking bonkers this dog gets around internal combustion.

Fire up a snowmachine? His head is between the skis and he's doing his best to get inside the cowling. He has chiped his teeth trying to chew on a moving dirt bike tire. He has been run over multiple times, by multiple different machines. There is nothing you can do to dissuade this dog from hauling ass after a four wheeler. His mania is limited to small engines because if he was this stupid around cars he would have been roadkill years ago.

He's been to vets, he's been to experts. He has a wonderful doggy life with plenty of stimulus and affection and exercise and socialization. There's just something wrong with him.

So this is the animal we brought to fish camp. He's having the time of his life because he's surrounded by strangers who would love to pet him and stinky fish smells. Our camp has plenty of people so someone always has his leash to walk him around and he doesn't need to stay in his kennel. There are lots of other families here and a good number of them have wheelers for hauling people and nets and fish up and down the beach, but as long as he has a firm hand on his collar he is at least smart enough not to chase strangers wheelers. He can behave. He just loses his damn mind when it's a machine he recognizes.

We have a four wheeler with us, Adak is insufferable and loudly announcing to the entire beach that he's being cruelly oppressed because he's not allowed to eat the engine, or make love to the engine, or have some long and tender yearning romance with the engine, I don't know what goes through that dogs head, all I know is that passersby are looking at me like I'm skining this animal alive because that's what it sounds like.

We also have a boat, a mid size inflatable with an outboard. Our group has six families and it does make sense to show up with everything but the kitchen sink. Harvest from the beach is perfectly fine but dipnetting from a boat is fun.

There is no way the dog is going on the boat. There are too many people, too many moving parts, some of those parts being live flailing fish, and the dog is not going on the boat. Everyone knows this, including the dog. Yes, he's got a thing about boats too.

So what happens is this.

I've got the dog leash. I've already been out on the boat and now I'm taking a break and getting a rest while someone else has a go. The four wheeler is at the head of the beach, after being used to launch the boat. I'm braced against the dog for when the wheeler starts up again and he inevitably lunges for it.

People are loading into the boat at the waterline. While the dog and I are up on the gravel of the beach, they are down in the indescribable glacial river mud, slick as soap and thick as cement.

My sister inlaw comes down the beach, phone for photo taking purposes in one hand, coffee cup in the other, toddler strapped to her chest. She hands me her coffee cup, to better situate her dozing baby.

I take a hand off the leash and accept the cup.

My beloved husband pull starts the engine.

On the boat.

In the water.

I am suddenly 15 feet further down the beach than I was, skidding through the mud, heels digging a trail behind me. It is worth mentioning at this point that I out weigh the dog by a slim margin of about 30lbs. I let go of the leash. I'm not going in that fucking river.

The dog is going in the river. At speed. He's gonna be the first dog to eat a running propeller. In a river.

(Some dogs are smart enough to be current savvy and not endanger themselves swimming in rough waters. Based on the information you know about this dog, what do you think the odds are that Adak is smart enough for that?)

Despite everything, this animal is a beloved family pet and we do not want to see him swept out to Hawaii or his face made into mincemeat. So now there are 2 adult men in chestwaders wrestling this suicidally stupid dog out of the water and away from the running engine. Oh wait, they were in the process of launching the boat into a stiff current. Now they have to pull the dog and the boat back up into the nightmarish morass of glacial mud, were I'm trying not to lose my boots in the calf deep mud so I can grab him again. Someone is shrieking to kill the engine, which is the most sensible course of action so off course no listens.

Thirty seconds ago my dad saw me telling Adak to stay out of the mud. He blinked and missed the initial drama so now he looks back down the beach to see me and my inlaws mudwrestling that same animal out of the water. He is a master of the "not my circus, not my monkeys" mentality, but he's thrilled to see the show. My sister inlaw came to take pictures and record the moment and she's doing just that, with glee and a sleeping baby.

I have the damn dog. I am back on solid footing. I am only mostly covered in mud. I have not dropped or spilled the coffee.

(Most amazing part of this story tbh,thrashed. The coffee never hit the ground, it was one of those nice insulated to-go cups but still)

The boat and it's fishermen are pulling away. I have given up on the leash and have the dog in an armbar around the belly with a fistful of scruff. He doesn't care. He wants so badly on that damn boat that he's fully committed his weight to his hind paws. If I let go of him right now he would biff it on the concrete pad of the boat launch before launching right back into the water. The four wheeler starts up. I do not outweigh the dog by alot but I now have lifted him bodily into the air with all feet off the ground while he squeals and thrashes.

The sound coming out of this animal is what I imagine a whale overdosing on cocaine would sound like. A weasel in a blender. A clowncar demolition derby. A millennia of tortured souls cursed to damnation possessing a kazoo played by a maniac elephant.

People are staring.

Theres a lot of profanity coming out of me. I feel it's pretty justified.

2 and a half minutes later, the boat is gone. The four wheeler is gone. Adak and his stupid doggy brain have calmed down and quit thrashing. He looks up at me with a completely empty skull and a the canine personification of 😄

I'm gonna skin him for mittens

[nobodylikety]

Puppy Hybrid! Danielle 🐶

Now I can't stop thinking about hybrid! New Jeans, so now I just write other bunch of blurbs and thoughts about puppy Dani!

tags: puppy hybrid!Danielle x gn!reader??, fluff, hybrid AU.

Puppy hybrid!Danielle LOVES swimming, she is literally a water pup.

Puppy hybrid!Danielle is wagging her tail 24/7. She is happy? wags tail. Did you give her a yummy snack? wags tail. Is she focused on playing? wags tail. TAIL WAGGING SEVEN DAYS A WEEK.

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who loves plants and nature, but especially rolling in the grass. She always has her ears a faded shade of green, because she practically slides across the grass!

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who is a certified sock thief™ you will never have pair socks again in your life!

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who loves being with other hybrids and people, because she is a social butterfly. Dani has very playful and positive vibes! You will always see her with a smile on her face to cheer you up and play with you.

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who loves squeaky toys! When it's very quiet, she has no better idea than to happily arrive with a squeaky toy and chew on it to make it squeal loudly BUT REALLY LOUDLY, as if giving you a serenade of squeaks

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who although likes tummy rubs, is totally a sucker for caresses behind her ears. But if you pet her tummy and behind her ears, it'll be the epitome of puppy joy!

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who is SUPER hyper, always running from side to side, jumping on couches (and most likely flying off from gaining too much speed), probably she thinks she's doing parkour or something!

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who unlike Bunny hybrid!Hanni , who was very shy and skittish when it came to meeting you, practically overwhelmed you with her energetic and playful personality.

"Hey Hey hey, hi!" Barked the hybrid puppy, whose collar tag indicated that her name was Danielle, while she wagged her tail and spin in the same spot so many times that she was capable of giving herself hiccups. "Throw the ball, throw the ball to me!"

Puppy hybrid!Danielle who loves to play fetch. She loves tricks that involve catching things in the air, or picking something up and carrying it to you!

“Look, owner, look what I brought! Look at this cool stick I found!” Danielle practically stumbled into the living room, barking and running around. You simply watched as her running circled in wide circles around the living room, prey to the zoomies.

When Danielle finally calmed down, she walked over to you to drop the ‘cool stick she found’ into your lap. You took it, not really knowing what was cool about it that distinguished it from other sticks, catching a glimpse out of the corner of your eye as Danielle went into game mode, raising her wagging tail and looking at you with big, bright eyes.

“Throw the stick, throw the stick!” Danielle asked, in that whiny tone that puppies always have when they want something. “Throw it and I'll get it for you!”

[quitealotofsodapop]

Slow boiled egg au has a lot of potential. This particular skit takes place s4

MK: We gotta rescue Yubei!

Jade-faced, Wukong, Macaque: give it a few hours

Pigsy: aren't you worried about your kid!?

Jade-Faced: oh you sweet summer child...

Macaque: one thing to know about babies

Wukong: no matter how many toys you give them, what they love most is something they can hold and chew

Everyone, gets the message: ohhh...

Referencing this near the end with S4 "Slow boiled egg au".

I adore the thought of Jade Faced still being the Ultimate Single Auntie in the other aus, like how I plan to write her for TMKATI au XD

Fox kits irl play-fight super aggressively, to the point that it resembles a murder scene. Its cus they need to train for hunting things roughly the same size as them (rabbits, groundhogs etc) and they scream a lot.

Makes the sibling fights Jin and Yin get into make more sense - seeing how their mother in Jttw is the Jiǔwěihúlí/Nine-tailed Vixen. They're both half fox.

Jade Faced is the auntie to many little kits, and she knows how aggro they can be to just their siblings. Throw a furry squeaky toy in there and watch the carnage unfold.

And ofc baby monkeys do love things they can chew on. Combine that with "is literally the child of SWK" and you got a ticking toddler-time-bomb of boredom.

Shadowpeach + Jade Faced see the aftermath of what Yuebei does to the Brotherhood and just grin knowingly.

Peng & Azure: *have been beaten to broken pulps on the Jade Palace's throne room floor* Macaque, picking up Yuebei + trying to supress his laughter: "Aww. Did my little moonlily want to play with the big kitty and birdie? Were they fun chew toys?" Yuebei: *delighted giggling, exposing her big milk fangs* Wukong, secretly proud: "Wait... wheres Yellowtusk?" Yellowtusk, wisely standing aside: "I made the decision that the little one was owed some recreation for all the trouble we've caused her." Jade Faced, knowing smirk: "You set her loose on them, didn't you?" Yellowtusk, hidden smile: "It seemed to be the smartest decision at the time. Given that Azure clearly needed some sense knocked into him." Yuebei: *playfully tugs on Yellowtusk's trunk so hard he almost falls forward* Yellowtusk, truck still in the baby's grip: "And I was already privy to the little one's strength."

Little Yuebei has an unfortunate habit of being a little too rough with her toys after all.