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atlantisplus · 1 year ago
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eloquenthubak1982 · 6 months ago
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Dark academia
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this-machine-runs-on-coffee · 6 months ago
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"DEAD GAY SON" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)
Now, you're seeing the word "Dead" for the third time in my adapted songs. Am I obsessed with death? No, JD is, that's why it's there. I should also say I don't really like how this one came out, but I had to give you something in theme with pride month, even though this song isn't exactly the best (and I'm sorry for that but I would've had to adapt this song eventually and idk how but many people seem to find this song funny on YouTube so here you are). I should specify I could do way better with other songs and that I dislike how this one came out but it's very close to the original meaning (IMO) so here you have it, "Dead Gay Son". I'm also sorry for keeping the slur, but it was in the original song and adapting songs is (at least for me) keeping them as close as possible to the original meaning while keeping them singable. Also I fucked up the syllables and rhymes so bad
ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)
(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)
[PAPÀ DI RAM, parlato] Aspetta solo un minuto, Paul! È parlare in modo ignorante e odioso come fai tu che rende questo un posto che i nostri ragazzi non sopportavano!
(cantato) Non erano sconci! Non era una svistina! Eran due versi solitari Nella grande canzone divina!
[PAPÀ DI KURT, parlato] I nostri figli erano finocchi, Bill!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Sì! Mio figli'è un omosessuale E di questo non mi vergognerei— Voglio che il mondo sappia... Amo il mio morto figlio gay!
(parlato) Sono stato a pensare. Pregare. Leggere un po' di riviste. Ed è tempo di aprire le nostre menti!
(cantato) Beh, il buon Dio l'universo ha fatto Dio ha creato l'umanità E penso che sia parte del suo piano nella sua immensità So che Dio ha una ragione Per ogni oceano ed ogni goccia E perché ha deciso di lasciar i ragazzi farsi nella doccia! Non erano sconci— Non erano animali! Eran due lacci isolati nei divini stivali! Non m'è mai'mportato tanto di gay ma ora me ne interesserei
[PAPÀ DI RAM & CONGREGAZIONE] E ora ho imparato ad amare…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Amo il mio morto figlio gay!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Ama suo figlio Ama suo figlio Il suo morto gay figlio!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Ora, dico che mio figli'è in Paradiso! E che s'abbronza in piscina Il cherubino cammina con loro e, Gesù dice ch'è 'na cosa carina! Non hanno crimini o odio, non ci sono bigottismo o'nsulti - Solo persone amichevoli vestite come i loro compaesani preferiti! Non erano sconci—
[CONGREGAZIONE] No, no!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Si sentivano rimossi!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoa!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Nei lunghi capelli di Dio eran due elastici rossi Prima quando vedevo un gay avrei detto "Gli sparerei"
[PAPÀ DI RAM & CONGREGAZIONE] Ma ora ho imparato ad amare…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] E per di più! Quei due, eran coraggiosissimi! Quei due, ne erano coscientissimi! Quelli li avrebbero giudicati, eran disperati d'esser liberi! Si son comportati da ribelli, nudi quasi ai gioielli! Paul, non posso credere Che continui a rifiutar di capire Quest'è quel che eravam destinat'a fare—
(parlato) Parlo di me e te! Nell'estate dell'83!
[PAPÀ DI KURT, parlato] Quello è stato un viaggio particolare
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! Non erano sconci— No! E non solo una percossa— No, no! Erano dello strass Sulla divina borsa!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Il nostro lavoro è di fare quel che da tempo pensavo: "Lo farei"!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Perché ora amiamo, amiamo, amiamo Amiamo i vostri—
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Sono sù là al battito delle ali angeliche a ballar!
[PAPÀ DI KURT] Un compagno prendono…
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Verso l'un l'altro si tendono—
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Mentre Judy Garland sta a cantar!
[PAPÀ DI RAM] Vivono una seconda vita spensierata e spericolata!
[PAPÀ DI KURT] Si dondolan sul cancello incastonato—
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] E hanno una collana incastonata!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Whoo!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Non erano sconci!
[CONGREGAZIONE] No!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] Eran bravi uomini! E ora son felici cuccioli nella tana dei divini!
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ] Andate avanti e amatevi ora Come avrebbe fatto mio figlio Insegneremo al mond'ad amar...
[CONGREGAZIONE] Al mond'ad amar...
[TUTTI] Al mond'ad amar...
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ sovrapponendosi con la congregazione] Amo il mio morto gay figlio! Mio figlio! Mio figlio!
[CONGREGAZIONE] Non tanto male, il tuo morto figlio gay! Vorrei aver il tuo morto figlio gay! Grazie, papà, per il tuo...
[ENTRAMBI I PAPÀ & CONGREGAZIONE] Morto! Figlio! Gay!
So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)
[RAM'S DAD, spoken] You wait just a minute, Paul! It is this ignorant, hateful way of talking like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not tolerate!
(sung) They were not dirty(but as in filthy/indecent)! It (I mean as in their "love" but can't find a way to specify it) wasn't a small oversight! They were two lonely verses In the great divine(/heavenly? I don't really know how to translate that but it's as in God's/Heaven's) song!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] Our sons were pansies, Bill!
[RAM'S DAD] Yes! My son's a homosexual And of that I wouldn't be ashamed (for the rhyme)— I want the world to know... I love my dead gay(those two got inverted [gay and son])son!
(spoken) I've remained to think. To pray. To read some magazines. And it's time we opened our minds!
(sung) Well, the good Lord made the universe The Lord created humanity And I believe it's all a part of his plan in its immensity I know God has a reason For each ocean and drop And why he chose to let our boys do each other in the shower! They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)— They were not animals (it fit for the rhyme)! They were just two stray laces in the divine(/Heaven's/the Lord's) big boots Well, I never cared for homos much but now I would be interested [RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] And now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] I love my dead gay(inverted in this part [son and gay])son!
[CONGREGATION] He loves his son He loves his son His dead gay son!
[RAM'S DAD] Now, I say my boy's in Heaven! And he's tanning by the pool The cherubim walks with them, and Jesus says it's cute! They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or insults - Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite fellow village Person! They were not dirty(filthy/indecent)—
[CONGREGATION] No, no!
[RAM’S DAD] They felt removed (for the rhyme)!
[CONGREGATION] Whoa!
[RAM’S DAD] They were two bright red rubberbands in God's long hair Before(,) when I saw a homo(/gay) I would've said "I'd shoot him" [RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] And furthermore! These boys were very brave! These boys , they were very conscient of it! Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free! They behaved like rebels, stripped almost to their jewels(/balls/testicles)! Paul, I can't believe That you keep on refusing to understand This is what we were meant to be doing—
(spoken) I'm talkin’ you and me! In the summer of '83!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] That was one particular trip
[CONGREGATION] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)— No! And not only a hit (because they were bullies and hit people and that's what they were recognised from? Would that make sense?)— No, no! (Damn ok thanks for the confirmation) They were rhinestones On the divine(/Heaven's/God's) purse!
[BOTH DADS] Our job is now doing what for long I thought: "I'd do this"! [CONGREGATION] 'Cause now we love, love, love! We love your dead—
[RAM’S DAD] They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
[KURT’S DAD] They grab a mate…
[RAM’S DAD] And lean(more like tend/stretch) toward each other—
[BOTH DADS] While Judy Garland is singing!
[RAM’S DAD] They live a second life that's fancy-free and reckless!
[KURT'S DAD] They swing upon the gates with gemstones set inside them—
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] And wear a necklace with gemstones set inside it!
[CONGREGATION] Whoo!
[BOTH DADS] They were not dirty(/filthy/indecent)!
[CONGREGATION] No!
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] They were good men! And now they're happy cubs in the Gods' (yup the apostrophe placing is intentional and not a mistake, that's what I mean, I'm hinting at the trinity) den!
[BOTH DADS] Go forth and love each other now Like my boy would have done We'll teach the world to love...
[CONGREGATION] The world to love...
[ALL] The world to love...
[BOTH DADS overlapping with congregation] I love my dead gay son! My son! My son!
[CONGREGATION] Not half bad, your dead gay son! Wish I had your dead gay son! Thank you, dad, for your...
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] Dead! Gay! Son! OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):
[RAM'S DAD, spoken] You wait just a minute, Paul! It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!
(sung) They were not dirty! They were not wrong! They were two lonely verses In the Lord's great song!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] Our boys were pansies, Bill!
[RAM'S DAD] Yes! My boy's a homosexual And that don't scare me none— I want the world to know... I love my dead gay son!
(spoken) I've been thinking. Praying. Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes!
(sung) Well, the good Lord made the universe The Lord created man And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan I know God has a reason For each mountain and each flower And why he chose to let our boys get busy in the shower! They were not dirty— They were not fruits! They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one
[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] I love my dead gay son!
[CONGREGATION] He loves his son He loves his son His dead gay son!
[RAM'S DAD] Now, I say my boy's in heaven! And he's tanning by the pool The cherubim walk with him and him, and Jesus says it's cool! They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' - Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite Village Person! They were not dirty—
[CONGREGATION] No, no!
[RAM’S DAD] They just had flair!
[CONGREGATION] Whoa!
[RAM’S DAD] They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun
[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION] But now I've learned to love…
[RAM’S DAD] And furthermore! These boys were brave as hell! These boys , they knew damn well! Those folks would judge 'em, they were desperate to be free! They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants! Paul, I can't believe that you Still refuse to get a clue After all that we been through—
(spoken) I'm talkin’ you and me! In the summer of '83!
[KURT'S DAD, spoken] That was one hell of a fishing trip
[CONGREGATION] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa! They were not dirty— No! And not perverse— No, no! They were just two stray rhinestones On the Lord's big purse!
[BOTH DADS] Our job is now continuing the work that they begun!
[CONGREGATION] 'Cause now we love, love, love! We love your dead—
[RAM’S DAD] They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
[KURT’S DAD] They grab a mate…
[RAM’S DAD] And roller skate—
[BOTH DADS] While Judy Garland sings!
[RAM’S DAD] They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!
[KURT'S DAD] They swing upon the pearly gates—
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] And wear a pearly necklace!
[CONGREGATION] Whoo!
[BOTH DADS] They were not dirty!
[CONGREGATION] No!
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] They were good men! And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!
[BOTH DADS] Go forth and love each other now Like our boys would have done We'll teach the world to love...
[CONGREGATION] The world to love...
[ALL] The world to love...
[BOTH DADS overlapping with congregation] I love my dead gay son! My son! My son!
[CONGREGATION] Not half bad, your dead gay son! Wish I had your dead gay son! Thank you, dad, for your...
[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION] Dead! Gay! Son! THE ONE I NOW COMPARE IT TO (29/5/24)
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w-corp-clerk-anon · 16 days ago
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A lot of you guys distort. Wanna join in on the fun and get cool dimension hoping powers?
That kinda explains the bloodstains around the station and W.P. acting antsy when we came back... and the missing staff. I think we're fine (im not feeling like being used a punching bag today), sorry... may i ask your pronouns?
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tacit-semantics · 2 months ago
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I know logically that the best way to not feel like Absolute Shit about being in a new place is to go get familiar with it but lord…… the difficulty……….
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writhe · 2 years ago
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i am having such a wonderful & lucky day & also i am limping everywhere
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valiant-if · 5 months ago
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let me tell you, it's barely past noon for me and Monday has already been a Trial™
at least now i can get to the good part of the day (writing)
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forgotten-daydreamer · 8 months ago
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if my housemates don't learn to clean after themselves, ESPECIALLY THE TOILET WTF, i'm going to burst
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sammysamstuff · 1 year ago
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Both taking care of strays 😊
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Hannibal 1x01 - “Apéritif��
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nomattertheoceans · 8 months ago
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creativepromptsforwriting · 5 months ago
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How to create an atmosphere: Train Station
Sight
people patiently waiting for their trains, lost in their phones
passengers running down the platform to catch their train
someone struggling with all their baggage
small children running around
people waiting for their loved ones
a sad, but sweet goodbye
an excited and happy hello
people drinking and eating on the platform, waiting for their trains to arrive
people getting confused at the ticket vending machines
passengers waiting in line at the service desk to complain or to find a new route
people routinely checking the time and arrival of their delayed trains
Hearing
passenger trains arriving and leaving the station
the beeping of the doors opening and closing
the whistling of the conductor when the train is about to leave
a freight train speeding through the station, making it impossible to hear anything else at all
announcements of trains arriving, being late or being redirected to another platform
announcements about being careful to not let their baggage unsupervised and to only smoke in designated areas
pigeons flying around
passengers running down the platform, screaming for the train to wait for them
Touch
the stickiness of the floor
the gush of wind when a train drives through
Smell
that specific smell of every train station, that can't be pinpointed
the smell of fresh pastry from the bakeries inside the station
the smell of fast food and old oil
the smell of pigeons living inside the train station
that specific smell of train tunnels
the smell of cigarette smoke coming from the designated smoking area
Taste
stale air on the roofed platform
overpriced coffee or tea to go
sweet kiss goodbye
If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰
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carcarrot · 1 year ago
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my managers at work not understanding that the problems people are complaining about is in fact because of how stupid said people are and not because im not doing my job
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schrodingerscougar · 8 months ago
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Note: Wow, the roommate!Simon story blew up. Anyway, here's part 2.
Following his conversation with Johnny, Simon begins to think. He begins to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he’s developing feelings for you. Why else would he be so protective and mad when the sergeant talks this way about you? The thought scares him at first.
For one, being near him is a death sentence, he saw that with his family. He can’t even imagine surviving losing someone he loved again. Then there is another thing, the fact he isn’t sure you would return his feelings. If you didn’t, as he suspects, living with you would be torture, and he’s honestly too lazy to look for a new place to stay.
The next time he arrives home in the middle of the day, the apartment is empty since you’re at your workplace most probably. Not seeing your face brighten at the sight of him makes his heart ache, but he knows you’ll be home in two or three hours, so he can most certainly survive that by lying down to catch up on sleep. He leaves a post-it for you on the small table next to the front door where you always put your keys, warning you that he’s back home.
He’s woken by the smell of fresh coffee and something sweet. When he checks the clock on his bedside, he notices it’s past seven, which means he slept a good four hours without interruptions. The new record of the past weeks as the most he slept peacefully was two hours tops. He climbs out of bed and goes to the living room, surprised to see you in the kitchen, humming a song to yourself as you admire the neatly cut brownies on the kitchen island.
“You’re awake!” you exclaim happily, quickly pressing a button on the coffee machine to make him some coffee too, then pick up an empty plate and put a slice of brownie on it. “Welcome home. Here, try this. I thought you might use some homemade things after being away for so long.”
That damn smile of yours. It’s wide, happy, and it easily warms his heart and makes him smile too. Your good mood is infectious and he finds himself stuffing the cookie into his mouth as he stands next to you, nudging your side with his hip playfully. “It’s perfect, thank you,” he says while chewing, earning a roll of your eyes. You hate it when someone talks with their mouth full, so he quickly swallows the remains and goes, “Sorry.”
You shake your head with a laugh then turn away to get his coffee. Simon can’t help but wonder if this is how things would always be if you were his wife, if you would be this kind and caring all the time. He certainly could get used to this. He wouldn’t believe he deserves all the love, but he would definitely enjoy your attention.
“What got you thinking so hard?”
Simon lets out a questioning hum before realizing he zoned out for a while. “You,” he replies honestly.
“Me?”
“Mm-hmm.” Before you could ask more questions, he moves in front of you, trapping you between the kitchen island and his body as he leans down to you. “I had an interesting conversation with someone and it got me thinking while I was gone,” he says with his lips moving so close he almost kisses you. “Do you have any idea how much I miss you when I’m deployed? How many times do I wonder what you’re doing while I’m away?”
It’s easy to tell, especially from this close, that your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat as you watch him. Your eyes are moving back and forth between his lips and his eyes, unable to decide what to focus on. You’re both under a spell that he doesn’t want to break, in fact he wants this moment to last forever, this anticipation before he finally makes up his mind to kiss you. He wants to do it, but he can’t help but think about whether or not you would be against it.
Maybe he thinks too much, maybe his brain is too focused on the negative thoughts, and before he knows it, you move your head to capture his lips with yours in a slow and sensual kiss. Simon is aware that he has issues. He understands that his brain is only on high alert because deep down he doesn’t believe he deserves your attention. After all, he’s not a good man. Well, not always. He does his job like a good little soldier, but the lines are blurry between good and bad.
He knows that you know this too. Shortly after he moved in and found out what he did for a living, you had a lot of questions, many that he simply wasn’t allowed to answer. But you probably sensed that he was keeping things to himself, certain aspects of this position that civilians would never understand. He didn’t want to scare you away, he didn’t want you to throw him out, so he kept his mouth shut. You knew that and never pried for more information.
When your nails dig into the skin on his back in a desperate attempt to pull him closer, Simon finally returns to the moment, returning your delicious kiss while his hands grab your ass and help you on the counter behind you. His lips trail from your lips to the shell of your ear, whispering praises until he feels your hands moving to his belt.
As much as he wants that, he knows he has to stop you. So he reaches down to grab your hands, pulling them away and lacing his fingers with yours as he kisses the tip of your nose. “Not yet, love. Let’s go on a proper date first, yeah?” he asks you with a small smile.
You whine, then you beg for more, asking him why you have to go on a date when you've been living together for over a year now. He tells you that the reason is simple; he spent a bigger part of it away from home so you have to get to know each other.
“I know you, Simon,” you push on, your fingers tracing the tattoos on his forearm as you speak. When you see the determination in his eyes, you finally let out a sigh of defeat and say, “Okay, fine. Let's go on a date first. But don't even think about something fancy. Let's keep it simple.”
With a short laugh, he leans down to give you a quick kiss. “Understood.”
Later in the evening, way past eleven, the two of you finally say goodnight and he returns to his room. There's a message waiting on his phone, one that came from Johnny. “I’ll send her a DM if you won't introduce me,” it says.
“Better not. She's taken,” he replies.
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iwonderwhatsfordinner · 1 year ago
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youtube
srsly i just watched this entire video with my cock out and rock hard
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freesomebodybyluna · 1 year ago
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today has been so evil so far if you go to sbux today you're going to hell
#for like 2 hrs straight i was up to my neck is mobile/cafe/delivery orders & everyone was up to their neck in their positions too#and at one pt our shift was on lunch so it was only 3 of us on the floor & bc my coworker was so swamped with food & front orders#the drip coffee wasnt being brewed & so i had to brew asap for a lady who had been waiting for a mobile order for a while#and so i was trying to do that asap and got the grinds in the filter at one pt so i had to regrind#and my coworker doing drive drinks was like 'whos doing cafe?? youre supposed to be on cafe???'#and im like first of all I'm technically only customer support but ive been planted at this station helping YOU out#which i did say all of that but ne ways shes all like '(our shift) told me you were on cafe I'm gonna have to talk to her about that' and i#was like dude im doing cafe but i had to rebrew our drip bc we're out of all of them!!! like listen to me!!!! and shes like im not mad at#blah blah like idgaf if you are im fucking clarifying the situation for you so you can shut the fuck up & let me do what i need to do i#fucking know ppl are waiting on their cafe orders that's literally what im working on if you just got youre fucking head out of your ass#you're pissing me off!!! i already hate working with your ass and you're making it worse#and whenever shed catch a break shed have the audacity to ask if i needed help seeing that i literally had a shit ton of#tickets on my machine like just fucking help me#or at least get some fucking ice or something stop repeatedly asking me & use your eyes#luckily the shift got back eventually & restocked stuff & just as i finally caught up it was my lunch time like......#fuck my stupid baka life as if yesterday afternoon with my whole car issue wasnt enough#also go to hell if you stand at the pick up station breathing down my neck for your order & cont to triple check drinks that are very#obviously not yours if the name is anything to go by!!!!#dl
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sanguinesmi1e · 17 days ago
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A Round Door Like a Porthole, Lazarus Green Pt. 1 (you're here) Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4
Wayne Enterprises didn’t really need a small business specializing in “ecto-weapons” invented by self-purported ghost hunters, but S.T.A.R. Labs tipped Lucius Fox off that Lex Luthor was trying to buy an obscure little company in Illinois, and thwarting Luthor was always worthwhile. Now Tim just had to figure out what to do with all the equipment and the concerningly large arsenal of guns and things that looked like normal household items but seemed to have other, horrific purposes. He would have laughed at the way they slapped “Fenton” in front of every invention name (do ghost hunters really need a Fenton thermos? Won’t a normal thermos keep their coffee hot just as well? Are ghosts like trout, to be caught with a Fenton Ghost Fisher which just looks like a normal fishing rod but glow-in-the-dark. And what the fuck even is a Fenton Peeler!?), but he thought with some chagrin about the batarangs, batmobile, and everything else that had “bat” as a prefix in the batcave. 
However, of all the things Tim hadn’t expected to find when he flew out to do an inventory of assets after they bought the business sight-unseen, a portal generating a Lazarus Pit in gaseous form was probably at the top of his list. He didn’t even know that Lazarus water could change states from a liquid to a gas like that. Maybe there actually was something to the whole ghost thing. He supposed that it made sense for ghosts to exist, after all Deadman was part of Justice League Dark. Speaking of. . . he should see if Bruce could call in someone from JLD to assess things. He was feeling decidedly out of his depth.
John Constantine did not like to consult for mega corporations like Wayne Enterprises, but Batman had specifically requested he go check something out and he figured, where's the harm? 
There. 
There’s the harm. 
It turned out the “thing” he’d been called in to look at is a machine that can tear open a stable portal into the Infinite Realms. That is not something that should be possible. That is not something technology should be capable of achieving. That is definitely not something that should exist. Bloody hell, what had the Bats roped him into!?
This really should have been Zatana’s job. Or Deadman’s. Hell, Raven or Secret would be preferable. Because John would prefer not to be dealing with this. In fact, he would prefer to be back in literal Hell than deal with the crazy shit in the Infinite Realms. Could John handle demons, archangels, and even gods? Yeah. He can bind or exorcize most supernatural threats. Does that mean he relishes the idea of going toe to toe with heavy hitters from the Infinite Realms? Absolutely not. 
Some beings who lived there were just little blob ghosts made from ectoplasm and emotion. Some were the restless undead who could not or would not cross over to their afterlives. And some were the embodiments of concepts like nature, destructive weather, and dreams. He wasn’t sure where Death fit into the Realms, whether she ruled or visited, or if it was actually just an extension of her, but he didn’t really want to find out. There were many things John could defeat. Death wasn’t one of them. And now he was looking at a portal into a realm where the living were not meant to be. 
Danny hadn’t returned to Fenton Works since graduating high school. It turned out that he was less anxious when he was not living with people who fantasized about “tearing him apart molecule by molecule” and thought that discussing their plans to dissect him (although he maintained that it would be a vivisection since he’s only half dead) made for fascinating dinner conversation. Who would have thought that his constant stress, anxiety, and insomnia were caused by environmental factors? He’d been unpacking things with a very nice therapist his sister helped him find, and seen great improvements in his mental health. It really helped that she was dead too, and unlike Spectra she didn’t feed off the misery of her patients.
Danny hadn’t intended to ever return to Fenton Works, but when Jazz told him that Jack and Maddie sold their life's work to Wayne Enterprises and a multibillionaire playboy was about to have unfettered access to the Ghost Zone, he was. . . concerned. To say the least. And that was why he was in the middle of doing some light sabotage when Tim Drake-Wayne and a guy in a trenchcoat who reeked of cigarette smoke entered the basement lab. It’s why he was hiding under the Specter Speeder removing the ecto-engine, and there to overhear the conversation that followed.
“So, am I right in thinking that’s a Lazarus Pit?” Tim asked Constantine.
The older man stared at the portal, then at Tim, then at the portal for an uncomfortably long time. Then he pulled out a flask and drained half its contents before saying, “Yes and no. That is basically the same substance as the pits, but I think that this does something else entirely. It seems like this machine basically functions as a summoning circle, but instead of pulling one entity from one side to the other, this is just an open doorway that is perpetually pulling in anything or anyone who gets within its sphere of influence.”
“That doesn’t sound like a good thing, John.”
“It’s really not,” 
“So what does that mean, is it like a blown hatch in space causing rapid depressurization?” Tim felt a little ill at the thought. “What is it even pulling into our world?”
“No, no. Nothing so dramatic as that. It’s more like, hm, so the way summoning circles work is they invite or compel a specific entity to manifest, by basically making a one-way magical portal for them. This portal is kinda like an invitational summoning, which entices, but doesn’t force anyone to enter. Usually a summoning will have a purpose though, and the being you summon will be offered a deal. If this is doing what I think it is and pulling citizens of the Infinite Realms through and leaving them on this side without a contract or direction, they’re probably getting pretty frustrated and causing havoc. It’s like offering someone a job in another country so they have to get a visa and uproot everything, only to get off the plane and find an empty office, no housing, and no paycheck.” John lit up a cigarette and took a drag.
Tim wrinkled his nose, but knew from long experience that it wasn’t worth it to argue about American tobacco restrictions in the workplace with Constantine, especially while the man was doing him a favor. Also, the man looked like he really needed either a cigarette or another drink, and he’d prefer second hand smoke to a drunk sorcerer. “So then why hasn’t this town been overrun by these beings from the Infinite Realms?”
“Good question kid, but what I really want to know is how is this portal staying open? Really, how was it opened in the first place is the most pressing issue.” John mused.
Tim had already located the blueprints for the portal while waiting for Constantine, but either the Fentons had intentionally falsified the documents to seem plausible just long enough to make off with the money, or he just didn’t understand enough of the interaction between physics and the occult to comprehend how the portal could possibly function. 
He flipped back through the blueprints while the blond man sat cross legged in front of the swirling green portal and his low, distracted mutterings took on the cadence of a chant. The curl of smoke from his lit cigarette unfurled into some kind of spell array, and began to glow. Huh, maybe Tim shouldn't be too quick to judge him for tobacco misuse. Tim triple checked the flat file for any more information about the portal, and came up empty handed.
John, meanwhile, kept chanting as the magical array grew and spread to encompass the entire entrance to the portal. At last he stopped speaking and stood up, stepping back to double check his work. “Alright, Drake. You might wanna close your eyes for this one. It’s gonna be bright,” he said, popping his cigarette back between his lips. Then he stepped forward and blew a mouthful of smoke on the center of the array. The smoke caught against the softly glowing lines, pushing them until they floated back and collided with the nebulous green swirls and, despite Tim closing his eyes, flashed so incandescently white he could see them through his eyelids.
“OW! Fuck!!” John clutched his face, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I’m doubling my consulting fee,” he grumbled under his breath.
“You alright?” Tim asked, blinking spots out of his vision.
“Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec.” He too was blinking now. “That was not supposed to be so bright.”
“I’m assuming it worked though.”
“It had bloody well better ’ave worked.” The older man squinted at the slightly dimmer lines which still shone painfully bright against the green. “Oh. Yeah, that worked. Fuck. . .”
“What?” Tim looked on in alarm as Constantine pressed a hand over his mouth. 
“Oh man. What wanker did you say created this portal?”
“Presumably Drs. Madeline and Jack Fenton. Why?” He drew the last syllable out skeptically. 
“Because, they opened this portal with a child sacrifice, and bound his death and all the lost life potential to their bloody machine to create a perpetual gateway to the Infinite Realms.”
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