#cheap cars app

[pleasantbirdsand]

I stumbled on gameplay of the Cars 2 video game playing as Grem and Acer

I don't know what they were doing but it looked cool

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Why am i not surprised that everyone wants me to do something for them on a cold ass day like today?

[yourlocalbreadenthusiast]

Kindly take a break from scrolling to read this, it's important.

Take your time to grieve and come to terms with the election results, but once you've done that, it's time to get to work. We have two months. And a lot to do in that time. We have to prepare, to be ready.

Be careful about what you post or say online. Anything potentially incriminating should be avoided. Threatening language, even if clearly a joke, can be used against you.

Know someone who's trans? Someone who's had an abortion? Someone who's LGBTQIA+? Someone who's an immigrant? Someone who attends protests? Someone who's disabled? Someone who might in any way be at risk due to laws being put into place? No you don't.

Move away from social media platforms and browsers that require you to use your real identity or input a large amount of personal information. Now's a good time to find alternate means of communicating online. Tails, Element, Tor, Mastodon, Firefox, and Lemmy are all decent options.

Find a community. Someone you can talk to, either online or in real life, that you'll have reliable contact with. We need to try and create a network, but one that's as anonymous as possible.

Start scrubbing your trail as much as possible. Get rid of old accounts that can still be traced to you but are no longer used, delete personal data off the internet. There are websites out there that will freely remove your data from the internet, but be careful about which one you use, make sure it's safe and legitimate first.

Change any usernames that you can that contain any personal information. Names, birthdays, anything.

Plan B has a four year shelf life. Stock up, but don't take more than you you'll need. We don't want a COVID repeat where everyone buys an excessive amount of things and leaves none for everybody else.

There are doctors that will sterilize you, if that's the way you want to go.

Stop using online period trackers right now. Delete all data from it if possible first, then delete the app itself. If you must, write it down, but in a subtle manner and on something you keep at home. Don't label it, just put the dates. If you're really worried, discard older records and only keep the most recent few, and label the dates as other random events, like "go to mall" or "chicken salad for dinner this night"

Get your vaccines now.

Save money.

Archive. We have to start collecting records, media, data, books, and articles now. On racism, on fascism, on homophobia, on gender, on self-reliance, on survival, on safe travels routes, on equality, on justice, on anything that may be useful and/or censored soon. We can't let them erase it.

Collect those online resources. Bookmark them, copy files into your storage, Screenshot pages. Create a decentralized library where everyone is working to be part of a whole, storing what they can individually and sharing it between one another. Again, be careful about doing this.

Second-hand bookstores are your best friend. Books are usually very cheap in them, and they often have a decent stock. See what you can find.

When buying ANYTHING I have mentioned above, or anything else that maybe put you in danger, try to use cash to reduce your spending trail.

Check your car information online, many newer models can be remotely tracked.

Turn your phone completely off if you may be at risk due to your location and current activities. Turning off your GPS also helps.

Take note of where you are. Who are your friends? Who's a safe person? Where can you go besides your own home that you know you'll be safe? Establish these connections now.

Who around you is not safe? Who and where do you need to avoid? Do you need to move? If you cannot afford moving but need to, there are fundraisers that can help you. If even that is not an option, at least try to make sure your home is secure. Have someone who can help you. Have a fallback safe place.

And finally, I want anyone with resources to put them in the replies. Flood it with useful links, information, tips, anything. We're in this together. Do not panic. Organize.

EDIT: Please be civil in the replies.

[inkskinned]

100,000 dollars is not a lot of money.

it is also a lot more money than i will ever have. my student loans make up half of that - they're coming back, i'm told, like we all bounced back recently. the other day while paying for gas to go to work, i overdrew my account without knowing it.

i sat in the car and looked at the charge and tried to do the math. where the fuck is the money even going? i don't live extravagantly. i live in a hole in the ground, in an apartment the size of a sneeze; covered in ants. yes, i wanted to live close to a population center. maybe that's my fault. i've downloaded the apps and i've spoken to the experts and i've cut back on excess. i can't help the pharmacy bills or the medical debt.

i have a good, well-paying job. when i googled it to see if i was getting a fair salary, i found out i'd be making "upper middle class" money. which doesn't make sense - is "upper middle class" now just "able to afford a one-bedroom without a roommate". when i was younger, upper-middle meant a nice big house and a backyard and vacations and not flinching about eating at a resturant.

i was talking to my friend who is a realtor. he said 100,000 dollars is extremely cheap for housing. he's not wrong. 100,000 dollars would change my life. 100,000 dollars also won't really buy you anything. it could get you out of debt, potentially, if you were lucky and had a certain amount of scholarships to tack onto your degree. you could pay off the car and then have enough left over for "spending" money. how fucking amazing. one vacation, maybe two if you're thrifty. and then - like magic - the money would evaporate into nothing. people would sigh and tell you see, you should have put it into savings! like "upper middle class" people can't afford to value "actually living" over squirrelling wealth. you should spend your life only in scarcity. like that is what made the rich people all their real "actually a lot of money".

100,000 dollars would literally set me free. it also would just set me back to "earning normally" instead of paying down debt into infinity. god, do you know how many of us just want that? that our first thought is we could stop scrambling and just be free of debt if we won the lottery? that we don't even necessarily need to stop working - we just wouldn't have to worry about failing or falling?

and. at the same time. 100,000 dollars is next to fucking nothing.

[chrissy-kaos]

As many of you know, I do autoX and track my car. Well this weekend I was at the Watkins Glen Vintage Grand Prix. I had HDPE event with some Ferrari’s, Porches and various other cars. This is something that I’m extremely passionate about and absolutely love doing. But during that event my car suffered a catastrophic failure of the turbo. It seems it starved of oil and being upwards to 2000 degrees or so. It decided to leave the chat. Inspecting the turbo I found the fins got badly damaged too. This is very unfortunate news because just next month I have another event.

If you know anything about cars, you know this isn’t a cheap fix. It’s a Garrett gtx gen2 14/46 stuffed to just shy of a 24/50r. It’s going to cost somewhere in the $1800-$2000 range to replace. That being said I don’t have that kind of money lying around.

Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you 🙏🏻

Cash app- $ChrissyKaos

Venmo- @Chrissy_Kaos

[ichore]

synopsis: two stressed, hot babes (you and shoko) decide to have spontaneous one night stand in a car

a/n: gotta love women

tags: MINORS DNI, shoko ieiri x fem!reader, smut with no plot, car sex, alcohol consumption, cunnilingus (both receiving and giving), scissoring/tribbing, they're both adults, reader still lives with strict parents, ending is nonexistent, not proofread

"I'll pick you up in an hour." the text had you widen your eyes in both surprise and excitement, your lips gently curving into a smile as you clicked on the small profile picture to view your new hookups' pictures once again. A doctor (you assumed, based on her white lab coat) with long brown hair, a sweet exhaustion dwelling in her brown gaze above lilac eye bags. Cool was what you would've described her if you ever happened to come across her on the street, but now that she was in between your dating app matches and you talked with her for mere 30 minutes, hot suited her better.

When you stepped out on your front door an hour later, the chill of the night tickled your freshly shaved skin on and in between your legs, making you more aware of your swelling wetness - as if you didn't already face it in the shower. Shoko was leaned against her car, her black mini skirt poking out from under her black leather coat. God, the way she instantly devoured every detail about you with her tired eyes while her soft, glossed lips wrapped around the butt of her near finished cigarette, it nearly made you just drag her upstairs and ignore the fact your parents would've heard everything.

"Everything alright?" she asked, her velvety voice jolting you out of your lustful reverie.

"Yeah, I just..." you started, your eyes immediately leaving hers when she tossed away the cigarette butt, revealing her cleavage from under her coat. "I'm not sure where we should do it. My place is a no-go, and you said the same about your own."

"The backseat of my car is quite comfortable." she said as she opened the passenger door for you. A slight smirk curved her lips when you glanced at the backseats that were completely folded down, leaving a wider, blanket covered space. This wasn't her first time, you thought, as you fastened your seatbelt and Shoko started the car. The clouds of her blueberry candy perfume wrapped you around as the radio played Cheri Cheri Lady, a mix of rain and snow flying against the windshield as she kept driving on nearly empty roads.

"I have wine back there if you're interested. No glasses, though." said Shoko. Perhaps she knew you were a bit anxious about the whole ordeal and that alcohol might help you ease up a bit. If she did, she was right; your fingers wrapped around that bottle of red wine in no time, you put it to your lips, and drank of that sweet nectar without hesitation. The rich taste coated your tongue, making you realize that it was no cheap alcohol that you just gulped down, while the warmth from your stomach began to spread towards your limbs.

"Already blushing from a sip of wine, how adorable" Shoko cooed as one of her hands left the steering wheel to caress your exposed thigh. The soft of her fingertips felt cold against your flesh, making you shiver a little under her touch. "Oh? Too cold? Maybe you could do something about that."

So you took her hand and kissed her knuckle velvet, the bottom of her fingers, brushed your lips against her freshly manicured nails before you invited her pointy and middle fingers in your mouth. Your eyes watched Shoko's eyes darken, and her smirk deepened as your tongue caressed her fingers, gently sucked on them like the good girl she had already knew you were while she drove her car onto a small road surrounded by woods.

Your heart jumped a little when you realized you were really in the middle of nowhere, but you would have been lying if you said the thrill of it all didn't make you wetter than you already were. As if she read your mind, Shoko took her fingers out of your mouth to frame your flushed cheeks in her hands as her lips finally collided with yours. Her lip gloss and yours mixed into a sweet coat, melting on your tongue when she pushed hers into your mouth. She smiled and gently moaned into the kiss when your hand traveled from her cheek to her breast, she felt your hand hesitate a little when you realized she didn't have a bra on.

"Go ahead, princess." A chuckle bubbled in Shoko's chest as she took off her coat and top, revealing her perfectly erect nipples inviting you for a taste. She yelped a little when your mouth nearly devoured her breast as your hand fondled the other, your tongue teasing that slightly brown nipple with hunger while she caressed the top of your head with one hand as her other hand helped you get rid of your coat.

"I see you can barely wait to get your pussy ate." she said when your tongue wetted her cleavage as you made your way up to the soft crook of her neck. A firm grab on your hair made you look into her eyes; you were both flushed and drunken with lust. "God, you're so cute, I can't wait to ruin you. Climb on the backseat!"

Already half naked and the car already warmed up, you thought it best if you didn't open the door to go to the back of the car. Instead, you took her words literally and began to climb through the front seats to get to your destination; unbeknownst to you, your dress lifted up and you had your entire wetness on display right in Shoko's face. A big mistake, you realized soon when she held you back by gripping into the flesh of your ass and spread your cheeks wide. "What a naughty girl. No panties, and already soaking wet from just kissing a stranger." she smacked your ass, leaving a tingling feeling of pain that only made you more wet. "Are you a bad girl?"

"Yes," you moaned as Shoko began to kiss your inner thigh, leaving a bite and another slap on your ass as she found your answer unsatisfactory. "Yes, mommy."

Like a divine gift, her tongue gathered your hot wetness between your folds as you held yourself up with your two arms as your tummy rested on the front seats. Shoko hummed, licked and sucked on every inch of your wet pussy as if it was her last meal on Earth; her nails teased against your skin before spanking you when you wanted to hold back your sweet moans. When the soft of her thumb began to caress your clit, you could not hold back anymore. Your shameless screams and moans filled the car and the woods as she devoured your pussy and played with your clit until another gush of wetness stained Shoko's face and your legs trembled with your first orgasm. "Good girl, go and lay down."

With a cloudy mind and shaking limbs, you obeyed. Your eyes lazily followed her figure as she got rid of her clothes, tossing them to a dark corner of the car before she climbed on top of you to embrace you in another sloppy kiss. The taste of your own juices tingled with sweetness against your tongue as she stained your face with the cum that you orgasmed on her. "Sit on my face...please." Your begging made her smile once again, her exhausted eyes livening up with lust once more before she maneuvered herself around in the tiny space to use your face like her personal saddle while your nose teased her clit.

"Ah, look how excited you got me." Shoko whimpered as her own wetness started get licked away by you as your hands held into her waist. From your view, she looked like a goddess; the interior light of the car shone gold in her dark brown hair, her brown eyes gazed down upon you with want and need, one of her hand teasing her beast as the other raked through your hair, her battle scars from the past faint on her abdomen as you eagerly devoured her freshly trimmed pussy. Her looks alone made you lose your mind, but her voice could make you cum once again without her touching you - and you were determined to make her scream in pleasure.

"Oh, my" she moaned when your hands found her chest, your fingers eagerly and roughly playing with her nipples. The way it made her arch her back, it made you tongue her hole faster as you rubbed your nose against her clit. You knew she was close to cumming when her grip in your hair tightened and she couldn't help, but rock her hips against your face. To both of your surprise, you welcomed her orgasm with firm slaps on her ass. Whereas she clearly enjoyed the spanking, she knew she could not let you get away with such a thing.

Before you knew it, the cold air hit your wet face and Shoko's wet pussy was placed against yours. "So fucking wet, hng." she whimpered to herself, biting her lip as she began to massage her folds with yours, her arms holding onto one of your legs as she began to roughly rock her hips. Wet clit against wet clit, pussy on pussy - the sensation nearly drove you mad, your throat already feeling hoarse and dry from the screams you simply could not hold back as your nails dug into Shoko's waist.

"Hmm, I'm gonna cum." you moaned, making Shoko whimper "Oh, yeah?" before she grabbed both of your legs and folded them up against your chest as she held you from under your knees. The pose left you feeling completely dominated and exposed before Shoko began to vehemently her pussy against yours once again, the wet sounds nearly disappearing between the high-pitched screams and moans as you both ride through the orgasm.

[dandelionsresilience]

Good News - June 8-14

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $Kaybarr1735! And if you tip me and give me a way to contact you, at the end of the month I'll send you a link to all of the articles I found but didn't use each week!

1. Rare foal born on estate for first time in 100 years

“The Food Museum at Abbot's Hall in Stowmarket, Suffolk, is home to a small number of Suffolk Punch horses - a breed considered critically endangered by the Rare Breeds Survival Trust. A female foal was born on Saturday and has been named Abbots Juno to honour the last horse born at the museum in 1924. [...] Juno is just one of 12 fillies born so far this year in the country and she could potentially help produce more of the breed in the future.”

2. The cement that could turn your house into a giant battery

“[Scientists] at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have found a way of creating an energy storage device known as a supercapacitor from three basic, cheap materials – water, cement and a soot-like substance called carbon black. [... Supercapacitators] can charge much more quickly than a lithium ion battery and don't suffer from the same levels of degradation in performance. [... Future applications of this concrete might include] roads that store solar energy and then release it to recharge electric cars wirelessly as they drive along a road [... and] energy-storing foundations of houses.”

3. New road lights, fewer dead insects—insect-friendly lighting successfully tested

“Tailored and shielded road lights make the light source almost invisible outside the illuminated area and significantly reduces the lethal attraction for flying insects in different environments. [...] The new LED luminaires deliver more focused light, reduce spill light, and are shielded above and to the side to minimize light pollution. [... In contrast,] dimming the conventional lights by a factor of 5 had no significant effect on insect attraction.”

4. When LGBTQ health is at stake, patient navigators are ready to help

“[S]ome health care systems have begun to offer guides, or navigators, to get people the help they need. [... W]hether they're just looking for a new doctor or taking the first step toward getting gender-affirming care, "a lot of our patients really benefit from having someone like me who is there to make sure that they are getting connected with a person who is immediately going to provide a safe environment for them." [... A navigator] also connects people with LGBTQ community organizations, social groups and peer support groups.”

5. Tech company to help tackle invasive plant species

“Himalayan balsam has very sugary nectar which tempts bees and other pollinators away from native plants, thereby preventing them from producing seed. It outcompetes native plant species for resources such as sunlight, space and nutrients. [...] The volunteer scheme is open to all GWT WilderGlos users who have a smartphone and can download the Crowdorsa app, where they can then earn up to 25p per square meter of Balsam removed.”

6. [Fish & Wildlife] Service Provides Over $14 Million to Benefit Local Communities, Clean Waterways and Recreational Boaters

“The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is distributing more than $14 million in Clean Vessel Act grants to improve water quality and increase opportunities for fishing, shellfish harvests and safe swimming in the nation’s waterways. By helping recreational boaters properly dispose of sewage, this year’s grants will improve conditions for local communities, wildlife and recreational boaters in 18 states and Guam.”

7. Bornean clouded leopard family filmed in wild for first time ever

“Camera traps in Tanjung Puting National Park in Indonesian Borneo have captured a Bornean clouded leopard mother and her two cubs wandering through a forest. It's the first time a family of these endangered leopards has been caught on camera in the wild, according [to] staff from the Orangutan Foundation who placed camera traps throughout the forest to learn more about the elusive species.”

8. Toy library helps parents save money 'and the planet'

“Started in 2015 by Annie Berry, South Bristol's toy library aims to reduce waste and allow more children access to more - and sometimes expensive - toys. [...] Ms Berry partnered with the St Philips recycling centre on a pilot project to rescue items back from landfill, bringing more toys into the library. [...] [P]eople use it to support the environment, take out toys that they might not have the space for at home or be able to afford, and allow children to pick non-gender specific toys.”

9. Chicago Receives $3M Grant to Inventory Its Trees and Create Plan to Manage City’s Urban Forest

“The Chicago Park District received a $1.48 million grant [“made available through the federal Inflation Reduction Act”] to complete a 100% inventory of its estimated 250,000 trees, develop an urban forestry management plan and plant 200 trees in disadvantaged areas with the highest need. As with the city, development of the management plan is expected to involve significant community input.”

10. Strong Public Support for Indigenous Co-Stewardship Plan for Bears Ears National Monument

“[The NFW has a] plan to collaboratively steward Bears Ears National Monument to safeguard wildlife, protect cultural resources, and better manage outdoor recreation. The plan was the result of a two-year collaboration among the five Tribes of the Bears Ears Inter-Tribal Coalition and upholds Tribal sovereignty, incorporates Traditional Ecological Knowledge, and responsibly manages the monument for hunting, fishing, and other outdoor recreation while ensuring the continued health of the ecosystem.”

June 1-7 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[mochacoda]

[teaser] drizzle | ljh

Pairing: Lee Jihoon x GN!Reader

Synopsis: Lately, you’ve been plagued with two issues. The first is endless rain. The second is your mysterious, mask-clad neighbor, who’s up to some shady business in the apartment next door.

Content: Fluff | Neighbors to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers

Tags: producer!woozi, this isn’t about rain, slowburn, who are you? -> awkward meetings -> falling in love, major loser!woozi allegations, red everywhere, singles inferno is mentioned, drinking, bestfriend!seokmin, hoshi wingmans, konglish w/ translations, no "y/n,” this is for all u 2nd place poll voters <3

Word Count: 10K (full)

Release Date: TBD

Masterlist

가랑비에 옷 젖는 줄 모��다.

In a drizzle, you don’t notice your clothes getting wet. The light rain just softly comes down, tickling your hair, your nose, your lips. Preoccupied by the beautiful storm that is life, you don’t realize until you look down. Then, and only then, do you finally see that your clothes are soaking wet. They’re plastered to your body, and there’s no reversing it. 

────୨ৎ──── Day 1

It’s raining. As you track the tiny drops falling before your eyes, you decide that it’s not exactly a fine mist, but also not a full on downpour. It’s in a frustrating in-between state—do you make a run for it, or will that just end up with you walking into work completely soaked? 

Utterly jacket- and umbrella-less, you restlessly tap a hand against your hips. You stare blankly at the half-filled parking lot where your car lies, waiting. 

Waiting for what, you don’t really know. A break in the rain? A call from your boss, telling you that it’s fine not to come in today? As seconds of your silent contemplation turn into minutes, you’re increasingly sure that both are equally unlikely.  

Upon that conclusion, you cross your arms and hug your torso tightly. Surely, even if you miscalculate the severity of the rain, the consequences of 30 seconds in whatever weather this is can’t be that bad. 

Then again, you’re wearing a white blouse today, and that isn’t the best combination with the rain. Would it be career suicide to go in wearing a wet, see-through top? You shudder at the implications of a HR charge. Plus, you’re wearing your favorite ruby red scarf, and you’d hate even more to get nasty rain water on it.

“Excuse me?” A voice suddenly comes from behind you.

When you turn, your eyes widen. A dark-haired, mask-clad man dressed in workout clothes stands before you. In his outstretched hand is a red umbrella.

“You can have it,” he says, shaking the handle of the umbrella.

“Oh,” you say, taken aback by this stranger’s kindness. “Thank you?”

You gratefully take the umbrella with two hands, your fingers lightly brushing against his. The warmth of his hand is fleeting, since he withdraws quickly. 

He nods once at you before shuffling to the curb, right underneath the edge of the cement awning that demarcates the safety of your apartment building from the shifty winds and rain in the parking lot. There, he tugs on the zipper of his hoodie, then dashes out into the street without so much as a second glance at you.

Processing his random kind gesture, a wave of gratitude rises within you. Does he live in this building? If you see him again, you’ll have to remember to give his umbrella back to him. 

────୨ৎ──── Day 4

It’s Friday night, which means that you have a date with cheap wine and the latest episodes of a mindless reality TV show that your friend Seokmin recommended. 

Yawning, you stretch your arms, feeling the fabric of your couch graze your fingertips. You were thinking of buying some throw pillows to make your new apartment feel cozier, but you haven’t gotten around to it. 

“Tomorrow,” you say to yourself, under the rationale that saying it out loud will lodge it into your memory. 

Ding! 

Your phone chimes with a notification, probably from the delivery app you’ve used to order the drinks. A quick glance at the pop-up, and it's confirmed. 

Smiling, you put your phone in your back pocket, and, in your fuzzy house slippers, pad over to the front of your apartment. You unlock the latch to the door and open it eagerly, ready to thank the driver. 

Only, no one is there. In fact, nothing is there. 

Frowning, you peek your head out into the hallway, just in case you can catch the deliverer on their way out. Seeing no one, you purse your lips. 

Maybe the driver just placed it in the lobby? 

Pulling your phone out, instead of just looking at the notification, you actually open the app itself. You squint at the image the driver posted of the complete delivery. The package lies in front of a familiar scene. A brown door, off-white doorbell, gold lettering detailing apartment number 317, grey carpet in the hallway—it definitely is your building, at the very least. 

Could one of your neighbors have just… stolen the two $6 bottles of wine you’d ordered? You scoff, finding the thought mildly funny. If someone did steal it, they were in for a surprise. It wasn’t cheap for no reason; to put it nicely, it’s an acquired taste, for sure.

As you zoom in and out of the image, it suddenly occurs to you that something is off. There isn’t a mat in front of the door to the apartment—the “WELCOME HOME” mat Seokmin had bought for you as a joke. 

Your head jolts to look at the plaque next to your front door. In gold, the number 319 stares back at you. 

Well, 317 definitely isn’t 319.

You raise your phone, comparing the door pictured on the delivery app to the one across the hall from you. Identical. 

You shake your head. Of course! You hadn’t considered that the delivery driver might have accidentally delivered the wine to your neighbor, rather than someone on your floor having stolen it. Really, you ought to have more faith in humanity.

Shrugging your shoulders, you walk down the hallway to 317, then raise your fists. 

You knock three times, then wait for a response. 

Nothing. 

Pursing your lips, you try the doorbell. The chime rings faintly through the wall, so it definitely works.

Is it possible that your neighbor accepted the wine, and then immediately left the apartment? Or, no way—did they actually steal your wine? Is that why they’re not responding?

Huffing, you knock again and say, “Excuse me? I’m, uh, your neighbor, 319? Did you happen to get a wine bottle, by any chance?”

Silence. 

Your hands fidget with the hem of your red oversized graphic t-shirt as you stand in the hallway, talking to a door. You shut your eyes. Just your luck. Seokmin is about to come over, and you’re all out of wine. What fun is Dating Show Night without a little buzz? 

You weakly continue, “Or, uh, two bottles, to be exact? I think the driver delivered them to your apartment instead of mine. By accident?” 

If your life was a comedy show, a cricket backtrack would start playing right now.

You sigh. Looks like 12 dollars is going down the drain. 

But just as you turn in your fuzzy slippers to trudge back to your apartment, a voice suddenly comes through the door to 317. It’s slightly muffled, but you can hear it just fine. It’s a nice voice—deep, somewhat melodic.

“You’re my neighbor?”

“Oh! Yeah,” you eagerly say, brightening at finally getting a response. You wait for the door to open, hands itching to collect your package. 

“Sorry, did you say it was wine?” 

“Oh! Yeah?” 

“I have it,” comes 317’s clipped response.

“Oh, great.” You press your lips together, waiting for a response, only to hear utter silence again.

Isn’t this about the time that your neighbor should just offer to hand it over? You’re not sure how to ask for your rightful package without sounding accusatory. It also occurs to you that your neighbor still strangely has yet to open his door. Is it really normal not to open the door when you’re speaking to someone, especially a neighbor? 

Then again, it is your first time living in this apartment. Maybe you’re not accustomed to the way people are in this building? But regardless, isn’t it generally a bit rude, or at the very least, weird? 

Or, maybe you’re thinking too much of the worst in people again. He might have a bad cold, for example! Maybe he doesn’t want to keep the door open for too long out of courtesy for your health.

After waiting for a few somewhat embarrassing seconds, you give up hoping he’ll take the hint. “Could you, uh, please give it to me?”

“Yeah, just a sec,” says your mysterious hidden neighbor.

It’s an immediate response, which makes your eyebrows shoot up in anticipation. 

Some shuffling can be heard through the door, squashing those expectations. You’re in for more waiting, it seems. Is 317 a serial killer or something, hiding evidence of crimes scattered throughout his living room? Or maybe he’s an old man, hobbling on a crutch to bring your package to you. What could possibly be taking this long? 

Tapping your foot, you lean against the doorframe of your neighbor’s apartment, until you hear the movement inside suddenly stop. 

Curious, you lean in closer to the door. 

All of a sudden, it swings open, nearly taking you inside his apartment with it!

“시—” you gasp, a curse nearly slipping your mouth, before you realize that you’re at your neighbor’s mercy right now, and that cursing isn’t exactly the best look if he’s a frail, old person.

When you regain balance, you look up from the hallway carpet to greet the wine thief, only to see a young man. 

His pale face is heavily obscured by a mess of dark hair and a black mask. You can make out hints of his eyes through his bangs, but not much else of his facial features. 

He’s wearing a black muscle tee that exposes his defined biceps, with a matching set of sweatpants, and you involuntarily swallow at the sight of him. 

Your heart skips a beat, like your subconscious recognizes him from somewhere. 

“Oh, sorry,” you blurt, cheeks heating from being caught eavesdropping on whatever he was doing inside the privacy of his own home. You draw your hands together apologetically.

317 shifts on his feet, keeping his hand partially on the door. Your face heats up as you feel his slightly shrouded gaze trace your figure. Maybe your red Tom and Jerry shirt and fuzzy slippers aren’t the best clothes to wear for your first impression with a direct neighbor. 

“Your wine?” He holds out a bag you recognize to be from your local convenience store.

You scramble to collect it from him, fingers grazing his hand lightly. He stalls slightly before letting go, which doesn’t go unnoticed by your wide eyes. 

“Thank you. Have a nice night?” Your free hand goes up in a stiff wave before you walk a few feet over to the front door of your apartment, mentally groaning at whatever disaster that social exchange was.

Your apartment beeps as you enter the code for the electronic lock, and you shuffle back inside your living room with your prize. For some reason, as you think about what it took to get the bag safely tucked in the crook of your other arm, the corners of your lips lift. 

Sure, your neighbor might be a little weird, but at least you made it out with your wine!

─��──୨ৎ──── Day 5

Birds are singing cheerfully by your window, calling you outside. It’s a surprisingly bright morning, considering that the past few days have been rather gloomy with the rain. 

Rolling off your bed, you get up and roll your neck, stretching the stiffness from your muscles. Your head pangs lightly, but the hangover isn’t too bad, all things considered. Glancing at the clock, you see that it’s around 10am. 

Dating Show Night is always fun, but this time around, the personalities played on screen were so obnoxious you couldn’t stop laughing, even screaming at the ridiculousness of some scenes. Honestly, what kind of person has the lack of self-awareness to say that people calm down in arguments just by staring at his handsome face? Before long, you and Seokmin had downed one and a half bottles—a record in your history of binge-watching nights. 

Shaking your head with fondness at your memories from last night, you quickly go through your morning routine, then grab a tote bag with your essentials inside. As you put on your cute red tennis shoes, you muse over the errands you’ll have to run today.

Your main goal is to furnish your apartment with decorations; it doesn’t look lived in just yet. In comparison to your old place, the cool-toned lights and lack of personalized knick-knacks lying around makes your new home look almost sterile. So, on the list are some pillows and throw blankets for your couch, and an antique lamp or two to add some warm light to your bedroom and the living room—actually, maybe some warm-toned bulbs as well to replace the cool-toned existing ones. Plus, at some point, you should also get groceries.

Content with your plan, you sling your bag over your shoulders and open the front door. Then, you see a letter-sized piece of white paper just lying on your welcome mat. 

Furrowing your brows, you bend down to pick it up, expecting an advertisement for a restaurant nearby or some other service. 

But to your surprise, the paper is a handwritten note?

To the resident of 319,

Could you please keep the noise down after 10PM? 

Best,

Your neighbor 317

You press your lips together, eyes flitting over to the door labeled 317, then back to the note. 

Were you really that loud? You press your lips together, picturing your neighbor’s mask. Sure, you and Seokmin might have gotten a little carried away, pointing and yelling at your TV, but it’s not like you were throwing a rave in your tiny living room. 

You probably could’ve accepted 317’s complaint if he had suggested a more reasonable time. Come on, 10pm? The man was hiding some serious grandpa sleeping habits behind his fear of spreading his cold to other people. 

Besides, who even writes noise complaints these days? It’s practically medieval! He could have just told you in person, considering that he lives right next door. 

“Ha,” you huff, folding the note up and dropping it into your tote bag. 

Your eyes narrow at your neighbor’s front door. This isn’t the worst thing to happen to you on a Saturday morning, but it is pretty annoying. If his proposed quiet hours started at midnight, you’d be more willing to adhere to the noise complaint, but why should you have to be quiet at 10pm? You weren’t even that loud, anyway.

Slightly annoyed at your new neighbor, you decide that if you run into him in the hallway, you’ll have to confront him about the note. 

You close the front door and march out, determined to channel your energy into finding good decor.

A few hours of thrifting later, and you’ve filled the trunk of your car to the brim with a myriad of different little decorations and bulbs. Analyzing the lack of space left, you decide that your groceries will just have to ride in the passenger seat next to you. 

You pull your stuffed car into the parking lot of your local market, your last stop before returning home. Stepping out, you make your way inside the store. 

It’s bustling when you arrive, the aisles filled with people stocking up for the week. You grab a cart and start weaving through the fresh produce section, your mind still half on the note. It’s not that you’re mad, exactly. You’re not really upset, just a bit miffed that 317 had to be so dramatic with his request. It was basically archaic!

But something about him just makes your thoughts linger on him, and you don’t even know his name. 

Humming a random tune under your breath, you stare at some cartons of strawberries and blackberries, and they stare right back at you. Adding a pack of both into your cart, you roll it over to the greens section. 

You scan the produce for sugar snap peas, but it seems that another customer clad in a dark hoodie and sweats is standing with a large cart in front of them. 

Unmoving.

You drum your hands on your hips, waiting impatiently for the person to finish deliberating. Then, he turns his face to look left, and you catch a glimpse of his black mask—a very familiar black mask.

You nearly don’t recognize him at first, but the hair gives it away. Long, black, messy waves. 

Your heart jolts. Suddenly, your previous desire to confront him has evaporated. Should you ask him about the noise complaint? Or should you carefully back away, pretending like you didn’t see him? 

Lucky for you, you don’t have the chance to run away, because he turns around with a pack of cherry tomatoes, and makes direct eye contact with you. 

“Funny seeing you here, Mr. 317,” you blurt lamely.

His eyes widen above the edge of his mask. “Hi. 319?”

You nod. “Could you, uh…” You sweep your hands to the left, requesting that he move so that you can get to your peas. 

He quickly maneuvers his cart a few feet ahead, and you grin, grabbing your produce and dropping it into your cart. 

“Thanks. I saw the note, by the way,” you say, hopefully casually. “I’m sorry about the noise.”

“Oh, uh…” 317 scratches his head, as if he hadn’t expected you to confront him about it. 

He brushes his bangs out of his face, and you can see a hint of red peeking above the mask. Then, as if he doesn’t know what to do with his hands afterward, he just shoves them into the pockets of his pants. 

“Small world?” he finally says.

The fuck? You bite back a laugh. You’d brought up the note, and he’d responded by saying it’s strange seeing you at a grocery store. Of all the things you’d expected him to say, “small world” definitely was not among them. 

Is he avoiding accountability for the dramatic note he wrote? Surely, he can’t be embarrassed at being asked about the archaic letter he hand-wrote and delivered to your front door. It’s as if he made it thinking that the two of you wouldn’t see each other again, which is incredibly naive—and, strangely, somewhat endearing? 

The corners of your lips turn downward in an upside down smile. With how flustered your neighbor appears to be, you’d feel bad ragging on him about the note, now. 

“Feel free to just knock on my door and tell me if it gets too loud next time, okay? The note was a bit much.”

He exhales sharply. “I thought it was the polite thing to do.”

You shake your head, clicking your tongue. “Oh, please, just tell me in person, I’m not that scary.”

He gives you a pointed look. “You were screaming.”

“It was so funny, though,” you pout. “Have you seen Single’s Inferno?”

“No,” he says. As an afterthought, he adds, “And I don’t plan to.”

You wrinkle your nose. “You’re missing out, 317.”

Suddenly, it occurs to you that you should ask for his name.

“What’s your name, by the way? I mean, we can’t just keep calling each other as 317 and 319, y’know.” You share your name, and wait expectantly. 

The beautiful sound of silence graces your ears again.

You groan. “What, are you a spy, or something? I can’t know your name?”

His eyes widen, and for a second, you think you’ve either offended him, or hit the nail on the head. But then he lets out a sweet, addictive laugh, the sound muffled by his mask, but still audible. “Definitely not. I’m Lee Jihoon.”

“Mm, and is this your go-to grocery shopping time?”

“I don’t usually have time during the day.”

“Ah, a busy guy,” you nod. “I get it. What do you do for work?”

Jihoon hesitates, his grip tightening on the handle of his cart. “Nothing interesting. Just some stuff.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Just some stuff, huh? Sounds super secretive, are you sure you’re not a spy?”

His eyes crinkle, head shaking, as he assures you, “Nope.”

Your eyes narrow at your mysterious neighbor. “Alright, Jihoon. Don’t tell me you’re a big celebrity, or something.”

He freezes for a split second, mouth agape and eyes shaking, before he quickly looks at the floor. “Uh… no?”

Masterlist

Author's Note: slowburnnnn

Taglist: @syluslittlecrows - @junplusone - @fragmentof-indifference - @junniesoleilkth - @woncheecks - @peachypie97

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

All Ye Faithful

Warnings: dubcon/noncon, lactation, PPD mentions, cheating, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Summary: You are on the hunt for the perfect present but the price is steeper than you expect.

Character: Loki

Day Twenty-Six of the December Daze Challenge.

Prompt - there's only one of these left and i need it more than you.

Note: As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“Is he okay?” You ask as your fingers squeeze around the grooves of the steering wheel. 

“He’s fine,” Ellie almost laughs over the babbling, “aren’t you, Lil Griffy?” 

She cooes as your heart patters wildly. You’re stress level is at your ears. Your head almost hurts from the tension wound through you; or maybe it’s that you keep squinting to see the road beneath the cones cast by the street lights.  

You hate waiting until the last minute, but despite your best effort, it’s come down to the wire. This is your last chance to make Christmas perfect. 

The morning was a whirlwind. Your son, Griffin, shrieking as you tried to feed him breakfast, the email buried beneath all the dozens of Black Friday and holiday promotions. The order you placed over a month ago was canceled the week after. You don’t know how you missed it but you did. Now you have to figure this out. 

“I won’t be long. If he starts freaking out, you can give him some baby advil for his teeth. He’s been cutting some--” 

“Hey, I got it, mama,” your sister insists. “Enjoy the time to yourself. Please. I'm sure tomorrow is going to be a lot.” 

“Right,” you agree dully. “I’ll call you when I'm on the way back.” 

You hang up with the flick of your thumb, the button depressing beneath and the music coming back to life from the stereo. Something about the beat addles you further.

This isn’t how you imagined your baby’s first Christmas. While you also envisioned a little extra help from your fiance, you didn’t intend to be driving around to meet strangers to purchase gifts like some underworld arms’ deal. 

Ellie recommended the marketplace app. She got a bunch of stuff for her wedding there and she even bartered some designer pieces along the way. She’s always been better at everything. It’s probably why your son wasn’t freaking out for the first time in days. 

Your GPS tells you to turn left and concludes the trip, noting that your destination is on your right. The storefront glows but the ‘Open’ sign is out. Much like the rest of the shops in the area. If you had any other choice, you would take it over this hand-off. 

You pull into the lot and put your car in park. You scoop your phone out of the cup holder and open up the app. You send a message to the seller that you’ve arrived. You restlessly jiggle your foot over the pedal and stare at the snow-laden curbs and salt-streaked brick. 

You flutter your fingers over the wheel and your chest furls into a cluster of nerves. What if it’s a scam? What if they don’t show up? Typical that the one big gift you had your heart set on is the one thing you can’t get a hold of. 

A car pulls up next to yours and your phone buzzes. That must be them. You glance over at the dark silhouette behind the tinted window. Your family-friendly car is not cheap by any means but the luxury vehicle suggests an income you can only aspire to. 

You get out and shove your hand into your pocket, checking for the envelope of cash. You hesitate as you once more glance over at the other car. It’s too expensive to be a criminal, right? Or maybe you just walked straight into a mugging. 

Their door opens as you hover behind your trunk, uncertain of how far to go. A sleek, dark-haired man steps out. He’s tall and his black locks are tidy and combed back behind his nape. He wears a well-cut suit beneath a fur-trimmed collar. You didn’t bother to change out of your flour-dusted hoodie and jeans. 

You bite your lower lip and swallow your fear. 

“Uh, hi, you’re uh...” you blink and try to remember his name. He says your first. 

“I’ve got the toy,” he declares plainly. 

“Oh, great, er... can I see it?” You ask. Essie says always see it first before you hand over the payment. She even gave you a tip to barter down by offering a pick-up. It seemed safer than giving a stranger your address anyhow. 

“If you insist,” he strides forward, his posture straight, somewhat condescending just in the slant of his chin. You back up as he passes and circles around to open his trunk. You inch towards him and peek inside. “For your inspection.” 

He waves his hand indifferently and you examine the packaging for the sensory set. You’ve been watching videos and reading all these Montessori articles about it. You just want the best for Griffon. 

You nod and face him. He slides his phone from his pocket and clucks. You take out the brown bank envelope. “I have the money. Thanks for meeting me--” 

“Hm, I’ve got an offer for two hundred more,” he turns his screen to you. “And they can meet me here as well.” 

“What?” You gasp. “But I'm here.” You wag the envelope at him. “I need this. Please.” 

“Very well you might but--” 

“I can get two hundred more,” you beg, heart rending at yet another expense. “There’s an ATM close by. I’ll go take it out.” 

“I suppose, if you are quicker than the other buyer,” he drones. 

You frown. He doesn’t care. This is all just extortion to him. He doesn’t look like the type to need a baby toy. Essie did say there are a lot of resellers on the app. Wow, that’s just despicable. Still, you came all this way, you’re not willing to just give up. 

“Or...” he interrupts your inner turmoil. You flinch and look at him as his eyes flick up and down. “If you are especially desperate, I might accept a different currency.” 

You arch your brows, “uh, yeah, I got cashapp or venmo--” 

“I’m not referring to money,” he intones. 

The cold air turns bitter with silence. You stand staring at him, confused, as he watches you in turn; unflinching. The dimple in his cheek confirms your suspicions. He can’t mean that. No, not that. Look at you, you’re an underslept, overworked mother in a nursing bra and stained jeans. 

“Excuse me?” You utter. 

“It seems a bargain we might both benefit from. For my trouble, I could use something more than numbers in my account, and you, an obviously neglected housewife, might pretend it is that tending you so desire.” 

“Huh? That’s-- that’s... gross,” you wilt. 

“And yet you’ve not slapped me or walked away, so I dare say you are considering it,” he smirks. “And certainly, you are here to ensure you precious child has their perfect holiday. I would surmise it is their first--” 

“Please, don’t-- don’t talk about my son,” you plead and clutch the envelope, looking down at your shaking hands. 

“I’d rather not. Bit of a mood killer, honestly,” he snickers. “So?” 

You chew your lip, letting it flick out from under your teeth. Your eyes well and burn. You can’t believe you’re even thinking about it. You just want that one day. You just want one victory after messing up every other thing. 

You nod and lift your chin, only halfway as you can barely look at that man; a stranger. You hold out the envelope. He takes it, his fingers brushing yours, and he tucks it into his pocket. 

“You may wait for me,” he gestures to his car, “I’ll let the other seller know the item is no longer available.” 

His glee is clear in his tone. You’re sick to your stomach. You drag your feet away from him and go around the other side of the car. 

“In the back, darling, it’ll be easier.” 

You stop and face the car. Does he want... everything? Or just a hand... or... 

You open the door and sit on the edge of the seat. As you shut the door, you lean on it and hang your head. You’re more than terrified of what you’ve just agreed to. You’re terrified of yourself.

Are you so low as to go through with this? What if Brodie finds out? It’s cheating, technically. No, in all ways. 

The other door opens and lets in a wintry gale that adds to the iciness in your veins. Your throat tightens around a wave of nausea. The man sighs as he closes the door and settles in with a wiggle of his shoulders. He might be awful but you’re worse for going along with it. For what? A toy. 

No, this is for Christmas. It’s for your son. You just want him to be happy. You don’t need your husband telling you how you fucked up another thing. 

“Take the sweater off. Whatever that is... it’s not very intriguing,” he points to the stain on your hoodie. It could be chocolate from baking or something inedible. 

You wince and clasp the fabric in your fists. Slowly you strip away the hoodie. You have only your nursing bra beneath; grey and plain, the thin fabric wet as you leak through. You shudder and hunch your shoulders. Your swollen tits bulge over the flimsy cups as you try to hide the stretch marks on your stomach with you bundled hoodies. 

“Mm, yes, delightful,” he purrs and surprises you as his fingers reach to the strap of your bra. 

You squeak as he easily tugs free the cup and peels it away, exposing your raw nipple. You don’t have time to react as he leans in and bows to take the pert bud between his lips. You cry out in shock as he suckles and you watch his dark head helplessly. 

His hand comes up to grope the other side of your chest. You moan in response to the heaviness in his grasp. You’re sickened as he is entirely unbothered at the trickle of milk that rolls from the corner of his mouth, yet a twinge deep down scalds you with shame. Your own fiance won’t touch you because of the way you leak; or maybe it’s rest of your; the loose skin and the stretch marks... 

He groans as he rolls your nipple between his teeth and you cry out at the tenderness. He continues to fondle you as his saliva mingles with your milk. You are repulsed but cozened by his diligence. 

Your eyes wander around the luxurious interior of the car, a wall of tears blurring your reality, before you find your way back to him. He doesn’t seem the type. Too wealthy and refined, yet here he is feeling you up in the back of his car. You repress another heave of disgust. 

“Supple,” he pulls back and opens the other side of your bra, your tits hanging free. “Yes, yes, I know,” he continues the one-sided conversation as you sit mute and dump, tingling from his touch, “we both have places to be.” 

He sits back and pushes open his jacket. He shrugs free of the wool and lets the coat open across the seat behind him. He swiftly unbuckles his belt and opens his fly. You watch without reaction. Your body won’t respond to your horror. 

“Come,” he reaches into his briefs as he lifts himself slightly off the seat, pushing both pants and undergarments down as he pulls his dick free. He strokes himself as he reclines again. “You’ve had a child, you should know how these things work.” 

You exhale shakily. You reach for him as he continues to pump himself and he swats you away meanly. 

“I’ve not the time for all that, get in my lap.” 

His blunt demand puts you further off-balance. You move without thinking. This needs to be over. You have a son to get home to. 

And a fiance. 

You turn and stand up, bent over in the tight space, and push down your jeans to your ankles. He might see your unshaven legs or the rest of you and change his mind still. You’d almost rather that humiliation than the guilt of what you’ve resigned yourself to. 

He doesn’t stop you. He only hums as you move awkwardly to kneel on the seat and lift your knee over him to straddle his lap. You grasp his shoulder first then recoil as if burnt. You brace the seat instead as you set your legs, your ankles kept awkwardly together by the tangle of denim. 

He frames your hips with his large hand and you wince again. It’s so strange to be touched in that way. Not to be tugged and teethed at, or have someone screaming or crying in your ear at the same time. 

He pushes you down as he guides his tip along your lips. You quiver at the reminder of what you haven’t felt in so long. At those needs you pushed so far down you convinced yourself they just weren’t there anymore. 

He eases into you as you let your hips drop. You gasp at the sensation. It’s snug and warm and... he said you were ruined. That one-time you tried and Brodie stopped you. Never mind, he said. And you saw the reddit post he left open the next day; ‘my wife ruined by childbirth. What can I do?’ 

Ugh, don’t think about that. 

Another moan rolls from your throat as you hang your head back. You sink down onto the stranger’s lap and he fills you up easily. You claw the seats as his other hand squeezes your chest again. He pulls you closer as he guides your hips in a slow motion. 

The crawl of his own low, sultry voice singes away all your doubts and damnation. You lose yourself in the carnal melding of your bodies. You are not a mother or a fiancee or anything but needy. Your grip slips from the leather and onto his shoulders. 

He bends to once more nip and suck at your chest. He keeps you moving as he rocks from below. He doesn’t let up as he buries his face in your cleavage. His large hand splays across your back and he squeezes your hip tighter and tighter. 

The fire roars inside of you, trapping you both as you chase that final spark. You buck against him desperately and his nose brushes up to your collar bone. He bites into your shoulder and drones as he hooks his hand down around your ass. 

You quake in a noiseless orgasm, choked of your voice as your muscles contract in ecstasy and relief. You only realise then how much you needed this. How much you longed for that release. How long you just wanted to be needed for more than a feeding or rocking or changing. 

He bursts inside of you in a warm deluge. You gasp as sense slaps you across the face. What are you doing? He’s not protected. You aren’t either. Why didn’t you even think of that?

He curls his arms around you and presses his hand against your shoulder as he ruts up into you until the last drop. You push on his arms but he doesn’t relent. Not until he’s weak and trembling. 

He lets you go, arms falling slack to his sides, and he sighs. He snickers as his lips curl and you sit back to look him in the face. His green eyes sparkle in triumph. 

“What did you do?” You drag yourself off of him and angle awkwardly as you cover your cunt with your hand. 

He tuts, “don’t make a mess.” 

“Me--” You retort. “I...” You lean your knees on the seat as you try to scrap his cum off of you, wiping it on your hoodie. “You--” 

“And it isn’t what I’ve done, you should worry for, darling,” he taunts. “Ask yourself that very question.” 

You look at him and hiss. You don’t have any defense. Because he’s right. Because you did this. For a goddamn toy.  

His eyes drift down to your chest and he winks. “They payment was adequate. You make have your prize.” 

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Met His Match. || Soap MacTavish (Collab)

A collab with @crashtestbunny.

Find us on AO3!

Words: 3.5K~ Pairing: Sex Fiend!Reader x One Night Stand!Soap CW: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, smut smut smut, dubcon elements, unprotected piv, oral sex (f!receiving), public handjob (m!receiving), overstimulation, bathroom sex, sadism, dom/sub, rough sex, sub John "Soap" MacTavish, forced ejaculation, semi-public sex, whining, light exhibitionism, power play, dry orgasm. other tags: you/your pronouns, afab!reader, dating app, hook-up, one night stand, mean reader, exhaustion, walk of shame summary: Johnny gets fucked. a/n: Inspired loosely by my "It's a Match!" fic... but so much fucking worse. P.S. Not beta-read, we die like soap.

Friday night. 6 PM.

You just got home from work and after making yourself a quick meal, you threw yourself on the couch.

Reaching for your phone you click on the Tinder icon on your home screen and immediately begin swiping away at the men that come across your screen.

You're not being too picky. Still a bit picky, but not too much. It doesn't matter that much what they look like... so much as what you feel once you see their picture.

You're not on this app for the romance, after all. No.

You're tired and frustrated from your week and all you want is to fuck a man. In fact, you want to fuck a man so hard he leaves your flat in the morning looking (and feeling) like a cheap whore.

You'll know what kind of man you're in the mood for when you see him.

Left.

Left.

Right.

Left.

Right.

Left.

That's when a man with the biggest blue eyes you've ever seen comes across your screen. You stop the mindless swiping immediately and just stare at him.

You can already imagine the way those blue eyes would look up at you from between your thighs, and how much better his face will look when they're glassy and he's covered in sweat and drooling down his chin...

Oh yeah, he's what you're looking for alright.

So, you scroll down to read what his bio has to say.

If that bio is anything to go off of, he's also looking for something casual. After all, he mentions fingering and being ridden in the same paragraph. Perfect.

You Swipe Right on him and your phone immediately buzzes, announcing that you matched. Sweet.

Johnny texts you first. How... cute.

Johnny: hi beautiful x Johnny: how are you doing?

Oh, sweet summer child... what does he think this is? Small talk that'll lead onto a date?

You: doing good. You: how's your night looking?

It takes a minute before his reply comes.

Johnny: very free Johnny: wanna hook up?

There we go, Johnny-boy. That's the spirit.

You: would love that You: do you know that one bar around the corner from the post office? Johnny: of course You: meet there in an hour? Johnny: i'll be there Johnny: i'll be wearing blue

You can't help but chuckle... he won't be wearing much of anything soon enough.

-

Finding him at the bar is extremely easy because the bar is not packed, albeit still pretty busy. But that's not why you picked it. You picked it because it's only a short car ride from your flat.

Johnny is leaning on the bar, as promised, wearing a dark blue t-shirt, dark wash jeans, and a pair of simple black boots.

You approach him from behind, wearing a simple black dress. Not one of those flashy, slinky club types, just a regular dress. You know what you came here to get.

"Hey." You greet him casually and he turns to look at you, his hand wrapped around a lowball glass with some drink inside. It's clear... so either tequilla or vodka.

When he turns you realize three things immediately: 1) He lied about his height. He's definitely not 6ft tall, but 5ft10 at the most; 2) He's built like a brick shithouse, impossibly wide shoulders with large, beefy arms... So he wasn't lying about his 'Athletic' build; and 3) He has a fucking mohawk.

You can already imagine the way he'd look, your legs over his shoulders, as you squeezed his head between your thighs while his tongue lapped at your folds... Fuck, you're horny.

"...nice. What are you drinking? I'll buy." You catch the end of what he said, the beginning probably a greeeting, and a compliment, and, now an offer of a drink.

You try to shrug casually and seem unbothered. You decide to humour him. If he wants to play the gentleman part and pretend this is a date, you can play along.

"Whiskey. Neat." You murmur in reply as you slot yourself next to him against the bar, your thigh brushing against his as he orders and pays for your drink.

"So, a soldier, huh? What's that like?" You muse as you take a sip of your drink, watching him take a sip of his, his throat bobbing as he swallows. Oh, how you'd love to wrap a hand around...

"I like it. Always ken I wanted to be one. Tried to sign early and everythin'. I like keepin' active and I'm good at what I do..."

He continued talking, but you tuned him out, eyes locked on his mouth, watching how his lips pushed and pulled for each word, his white teeth in a neat row behind and his wet tongue sometimes peeking out.

He talked a lot. He talked... too much.

"Let me cut you off right there." You interrupted him, causing him to shut his mouth and stare at you. "Care to have this conversation between my legs, gorgeous?"

Johnny stares at you with impossibly wide eyes, like what you just said is the most bizarre thing he's ever heard. His left brow, right below an obvious scar, twitches, a sign he's interested. "...When?" He asks in a murmur.

"Right now." You reply with a head tilt.

The blue-eyed Scot simply nods eagerly and knocks back the contents of his drink into his mouth.

-

"That's it... That's fucking it-" You croon as you buck your hips into his mouth, your back pressed against the wall, the hem of your dress curled up and tucked into the elastic band of your bra.

Johnny's on his knees on the floor of the cubicle, his tongue lapping at your slick cunt like he's a prisoner on death row and that's his last meal request and he insists on enjoying it.

One of his hands grips your right thigh, squeezing it and keeping it steady, the other alternating between rubbing your clit and going around the back of your hip to squeeze one of your arse cheeks, pulling you deeper into his mouth whenever he licks and sucks your clit.

His blue eyes are locked on yours and they look just as good as you had imagined they would as his moist tongue curls to gather some of your slick and swallow it down, to taste as much of it as he can.

He's such a fucking munch, his tongue parting your folds and diving as deep into your hole as he can get it, before sliding back up to meet your clit, giving it a greedy suck.

There's a smug smirk on his lips, even as they're buried in your cunny, and a chuckle falls from them too while he thrashes his head side to side like a dog playing tug-of-war, nearly blowing raspberries on your clit and causing you to squirm against him, more expletives falling from your mouth.

You know what he's thinking. He thinks he's in charge. He thinks he's doing a good job fucking you. Oh, how wrong he is. And you're about to show him that.

"Wipe that fucking smirk off your face, sweetheart." You demand as you push his hands off your body and grab onto his stupid fucking mohawk with both hands like a handle to grind yourself against his face.

His eyes widen, but the sight of you using his mouth, his tongue, to get yourself off, hips bucking and dragging across his chin and tongue, lips and nose is enough to get him riled up.

He can't help himself, his hands finding a spot on the floor and his own legs spreading apart, allowing him to half-grind his clothed cock against the tile.

His head bobs eagerly against you, his nose buried in your mons, the flat of his tongue rubbing over your clit, his beard prickling against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, crotch and folds.

Your legs are trembling on either side of his head, but you don't stop riding yourself against his tongue, your head falling back against the tiled wall behind you, the pitch of your voice getting higher and higher.

The way the flat of his tongue presses to your clit causes your whole body to shake, your skin warming up more and more to the touch. The coil in your stomach is getting tighter by the second and your breath, as well as your moans, are ragged and long.

Your hips buck and thrash and your head hangs low suddenly as your climax crashes onto you, leaving you breathing fast and deep, your eyes fluttering a bit as you look down to find Johnny kneeling between your thighs, his tongue still softly sliding upward, spreading your folds open and swallowing your come deep into his mouth.

"That's it, drink up, I'm not giving you water anytime soon, sweetheart." You tell him, noticing how his eyes have gone glassy, a wet spot having formed in his dark jeans.

Filthy mutt got off on having you fuck yourself on his tongue...

-

Having pulled Johnny off you and fixed your dress back into place, you called an Uber and then dragged the bulky man out of the bar by the hand, marching ahead of him toward the pavement, under a street lamp, to wait for your ride.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you guided your mouth up Johnny's chin toward his mouth, locking lips with him, your tongue seeking his out.

His beard and mouth are both still soaked with your come, he smells of it, and tastes of it too, and with each push and pull of your tongues as you seek each other out, you get more of a taste of yourself.

You only broke the kiss once the Uber arrived, your phone having pinged with a warning, and a car having pulled to the side of the road not far from the two of you.

You and Johnny piled in together and while he scooted all the way across the backseat toward the other door, you slid up next to him as you two greeted the driver.

You didn't bother with a seatbelt (neither did Johnny) and since the driver didn't seem too keen on chit-chat, you allowed yourself to drape a leg across Johnny's lap, while his arm wrapped around your waist.

Your fingers slid over his thigh toward the darkened patch of denim on his crotch, and, with your leg (and the music playing from the speakers) as cover, you slowly undid the fly and button.

"What are ye-" Johnny murmured as he glanced at you with raised brows and wide eyes, like an innocent little puppy.

"Sh-shh..." You hissed as you kissed his cheek, playing the part of a loving girlfriend, or an overly affectionate date, for your driver's sake, you slowly slid your fingers through the open zipper, fishing for his cock amidst the wet fabric of his boxer briefs.

The pretty boy was already at half-mast again, even after having already come once, and your hand quickly wrapped around it as you began stroking it.

Johnny thighs trembled and his legs kicked out a bit as he felt your warm hand wrap around his sensitive member, and he looked away, out of the window, eyelids fluttering, eyebrows scrunched, and a hard bite on his bottom lip.

His cock began steadily throbbing in your hand, hardening and growing more with each languid stroke of your hand around him. He's thick. Much thicker than you expected him to be. You can feel your fingers struggling to fully wrap around him.

Sliding your palm up, you slowly rub over the hooded tip, which draws a squeak from the back of his throat, his chest heaving, and his stomach being sucked in.

"Control yourself..." You whispered in his ear which, making sure to shoot a glance forward at the Uber driver, who seemed focus on the road.

In response, you received yet another soft groan and a hiss through clenched teeth, Johnny's head lulling toward you, his forehead leaning against your temple. "Feels... fuck... I can't... you're... ah-"

"Feels good?" You murmur in his ear as you kiss his bearded jaw lightly, feeling him buck a bit against your hand, causing your thigh to bounce on his lap.

"Hm... Mhm..." Johnny grunted. "Fuck... Steamin' Jesus..." He whined brokenly as your hand kept stroking his length fully, up and down, at a slow, languid pace.

You'd draw back the foreskin, exposing the bulbous head, before drawing it up again as your hand climbed up to rub against the tip for a moment, only to roll back down once more.

Whenever the car would drive past a street lamp, the yellow-toned light would flutter briefly over Johnny's exposed cock, and draw your attention right to his pink, bulbous tip, overstimulated and angry, leaking shiny beads of pre-cum.

"Sh-Shh..." You cooed at him again, enjoying the broken sounds of pleasure he'd let out through clenched teeth, the way his cock would throb and twitch in your hand, and how the muscular man next to you vibrated with tension.

Oh, how you loved to make men break under your hand, and, even more so, how much you loved to make men like him break. A soldier, a strong man, used to dominating... How silly of him to think he had any power here...

It takes little time for Johnny to suddenly twitch and thrash next to you, his breath picking up and becoming ragged and wet, like he's struggling to control himself into being quiet...

You look up at him just in time, finding the way his head falls back on the headrest of his seat, while he grunted under his breath and hissed through his teeth, again, and again, his eyes fluttering shut as he experienced a dry orgasm, only the tiniest beads of cum slipping down to your fingers right below the head.

Just in time too, because the Uber pulled over less than a minute later, the Uber driver looking back at you and Johnny. "We're here, Miss." He told you politely.

"Thank you, Jared. I'll be sure to leave you a 5-star rating and a good tip." You replied to the driver as you slipped your leg off Johnny's lap and scooted closer to the other door.

After opening the door, you turned again and grabbed Johnny by his shirt collar, your fingers hooking themselves onto the inside of it and grazing his dog tags hanging around his neck.

Smirking, you slip them from the confines of the shirt and then twirl the ball chain around your forefinger like a lead, pulling it taut, which causes Johnny to audibly whine.

"C'mon, Johnny." You ordered as you tugged him forward, causing him to scoot forward, ducking his head to follow you out of the car, his movements languid and slow, his head still cloudy from the recent orgasm.

-

"Fuck, yes! Fuck!" You whine, your head falling back, your hair sticking to your forehead and your nape.

"Steamin' fuckin' Jesus... Fuck..." Johnny groans, his own head rolling back on the mattress of your bed.

"Yes... Yes..." You grunt as you fix your grip on the bottom of his thighs, right before his knees, bouncing your ass off his lap.

Johnny's mouth is hanging open, his hands fisting the bed sheets as he lies on a puddle of his own sweat, every inch of his exposed, hairy torso glistening under the light of your bedside lamp.

You're both exhausted, your hands slippery on his sweaty thighs, your own sometimes shaking as you bounce on him again, and again.

Your pace is starting to become uncoordinated and sloppy because your legs are tired, your knees struggling to keep up and causing you to stutter atop him, driving his cock harder into you and deep against your cervix twice in a row.

It drives a desperate moan out of you both and you go still for a moment, feeling the sweat trickle down your brow.

"Fuck... C'mon..." Johnny whines and grabs you by the hip, attempting to rock his hips up against the cleft of your ass, helping pound into you...

Only for you to bounce up with him and then throw all your weight down onto him, causing his ass to be pinned back down onto the bed, and drawing a loud yowl of surprise as his cock barrels right against your cervix, sending a sting of pain up your spine.

Johnny looks up at you with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, seemingly horrified and confused.

Finding his eyes, you lean forward, pressing your hands onto his chest, before murmuring "Stay fucking still. This isn't about you."

"Sorry?" Johnny murmurs, whether in confusion or genuinely apology, you don't know.

"You're nothing more than a toy right now. And good toys don't talk." You warn him.

"I-" He stuttered, not fast enough to protest before you were moving atop him again, the new angle and slight pause having provided you with an extra burst of energy.

You rocked against him, keeping him buried down to the hilt and rubbing your sensitive clit against the bush at the base of his cock.

It makes you croon in delight, keeping up the same angle but becoming more and more frantic, rubbing yourself against his bush while keeping his shaft sheathed nice and deep in your weeping cunny.

Something about the warm wetness enveloping his already oversensitive cock, the sight of your face contorting in pleasure atop him, so close and yet so far, your hands pushing against his chest so he doesn't try to reach for you.

It drives him over the edge and he finds himself losing it, his big blue eyes fluttering and rolling, his jaw dropping and his every muscle straining as his head falls back, causing him to stiffen beneath you.

Out of breath, you lean your head against his chest, feeling the warmth of your release coming in the aftermath of his own, his cock twitching and throbbing inside you being the final nail in the coffin.

Johnny doesn't dare move as he feels your warm cunt squeeze around him, draining every last drop from his already reduced third orgasm, simply lying there, beneath you.

His mouth is hanging open, drier than the Sahara, every inch of him is slick with sweat and he's out of breath and his entire body is trembling ever so slightly as he closes his eyes in pure bliss.

Only for his eyes to shoot open again as he feels you start up again, your ass carefully bouncing off his sore thighs.

-

Johnny stumbles his way into the training room. It's 6 a.m. and he has not caught a fucking wink of sleep.

Unlike his normal hook-ups, after which he reports to base with a pep in his step and a smirk on his lips that no amount of push-ups, sit-ups and mile runs can wipe off...

This time, he's limping, every muscle of his feeling sore and stiff, his thighs feel like they're going to bruise up, his cock burns from how oversensitive it is...

He hasn't slept, hasn't eaten, hasn't drunk water... and the closest thing to a shower he got was when you tossed him some wet wipes in the morning.

Unlike him, you had gotten up in the morning (aka after a 1.5 hour power nap) perfectly energized and like you hadn't spent half of the night riding him like a stallion you were trying to break...

Gaz is the first to notice Johnny's state as the Scot falls into formation with the rest of the unit, his eyes still sort of glassy. But he doesn't say anything... he simply raises a brow and smirks in amusement.

Ghost is standing by Price on the sidelines and notices next and, unlike Gaz, he chuckles at it and calls Price's attention to it. The Captain turns to look at Soap and has to contain the look of amused disappointment from showing on his face.

"Soap!" The Captain calls out, causing Soap to look over, nearly languidly and then approach, with Gaz following behind him, despite not having been called. He just... wanted in on the fun.

"The fuck happened to you, son? Did you get in a fight?" Price asks with a cocked brow, watching how the younger sergeant squirms and his tanned face grows warmer.

"N-No sir." Johnny replies and shakes his head, which causes him to wince, feeling light-headed.

"I think 'assaulted' would be a better word for it, Cap'n." Gaz chides, causing the Scot to huff and turn his head in frustration and embarrassment.

"Shut it, Garrick..." Soap murmurs, which earns a light chuckle from all the men, Ghost included.

"Go shower and take a nap. You're excused for this morning." Price tells the sergeant, causing the lad to nod thankfully and wander off, limping once more.

As he gets back to his barracks, he grabs his phone, typing out a quick message for you, thankful you insisted on giving him your number and taking his... Johnny secretly hoped that meant you wanted a repeat.

"Hope you're happy... Made me embarrass myself in the state I showed up to training in."

The reply he earned, however, was the most cold-hearted one he could've received... One he never even saw coming.

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

Read Bunny's Work HERE

[childrenofcain-if]

The D scenario was way too sad, author, I'm begging for you to make it up for our sad rockstar cowboy/cowgirl 😭👺

here’s the pt. 1 of this.

the phone call ended with a terrible finality. the sound of D’s voice cutting off mid-sentence felt like a door slamming shut, loud and unmistakable.

you stood in your new york city apartment, one hand still gripping the phone, the other clenched at your side. your heart was racing, every beat a thud of regret, anger, and guilt. the city hummed outside your window, a discordant symphony of car horns and distant chatter, but you barely noticed it. all you could hear was D’s voice echoing in your head, sharp and raw: “i’m here, waiting by the damn phone every night like some—some pathetic—”

you ran a hand through your hair, pulling at the roots as you began pacing back and forth across the narrow strip of space between the kitchenette and the window. the floorboards creaked under your weight, an old building’s way of reminding you it was there, but it couldn’t anchor you.

“what is wrong with me?” you muttered, your voice harsh in the quiet room.

your anger had already started to unravel, leaving only the jagged edges of shame. you replayed the conversation in your head, your own voice rising, defensive and cold. and then D’s, breaking apart in places they hadn’t meant to let you hear.

D wasn’t needy. not really. at least not to you. they were just... D. passionate, fiery, always a little too much and never quite enough, all at the same time. and you—you were a mess in your own way, carrying your ambitions like armor and forgetting, sometimes, to reach out from behind it.

you slumped onto the couch, your elbows on your knees, your head in your hands. this wasn’t who you wanted to be. this wasn’t the kind of partner you wanted to be.

after what felt like hours, you finally sat back, exhaling shakily. the truth was as clear as it was painful: you’d both been wrong. neither of you was handling this well. the distance, the texts, the calls—it was a pressure cooker, and tonight it had finally boiled over.

but you loved D. that thought settled over you like a weight and a balm all at once. you loved them, and love meant showing up, not just when it was convenient, but especially when it wasn’t.

you grabbed your phone, fingers flying over the screen as you pulled up flight options. austin. friday night. it wasn’t exactly cheap, but money wasn’t an issue. you booked the ticket before you could overthink it, the confirmation email lighting up your inbox a second later.

***

the week passed in a haze of classes and half-hearted meals. every time your phone buzzed, your stomach twisted, but the messages were always mundane. updates from classmates, a sale alert from your favorite store. nothing from D.

by the time friday rolled around, you were vibrating with nerves. your luggage was packed and sitting by the door. you made sure your phone was fully charged, and set your alarm two hours earlier than necessary. you checked on your luggage three times before finally locking it and hauling it out of the apartment.

the subway station was crowded, the air thick with the smell of metal and sweat. you stood with one hand on your phone, your other clutching your bag, eyes darting to the mytransit nyc app and the digital displays above to make sure you don’t miss the subway leaving for the airport. five more minutes to go.

and then you saw them.

at first, it didn’t register. just another figure in the sea of commuters near the turnstiles, fumbling with a yellow metrocard at the machine. but then they turned, and your heart stopped.

D.

they looked different here, out-of-place but somehow not. the edges of their leather jacket were fraying, and their doc martens were scuffed, a sharp contrast to the polished shoes and sleek coats of the people bustling around them. but their eyes—those stormy gray eyes you could pick out in a crowd of thousands—were unmistakable.

D saw you at the same moment.

for a second, neither of you moved. the station swirled around you, a blur of noise and movement, but it might as well have been silent.

then, like magnets, you were drawn together. you barely registered your feet moving, barely noticed the way people swerved to avoid you. and then you were there, your arms around D, their arms around you, and it was everything.

the kiss was messy, desperate, and entirely too public. you could feel D’s hands shaking where they gripped your shoulders, could taste the salt of what might have been tears.

when you finally pulled back, your foreheads pressed together, you were both laughing breathlessly.

“w-what are you doing here?” you asked, the words tumbling out between shaky breaths.

D gave a sheepish smile, one hand rubbing at the back of their neck.

“i was coming to see you. i couldn’t—” their voice caught, and they shook their head, trying again. “i couldn’t stand it. i couldn’t stand being apart anymore.”

“i was on my way to the airport,” you said, still holding onto them like they might vanish if you let go. “i booked a flight to austin. i was coming to apologize. to fix this.”

D’s arms tightened around you, their eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your chest ache.

“you don’t need to apologize,” they said, their voice low and rough. “i’m the one who... god, i’ve been a mess without you. i keep overthinking everything, and then i get scared, and then i just—” they broke off, exhaling shakily. “i love you so much, and i’m sorry. for all of it.”

“i love you and i’m sorry too,” you said, reaching up to cup their face. their skin was warm under your palms and the familiar scent of expensive marlboros, leather and cinnamon made your head spin pleasantly. “i should’ve called more. i should’ve—”

“stop,” D interrupted, shaking their head. “we’re both idiots. let’s just agree on that and call it even.”

you laughed, a wet, shaky laugh that felt more like relief than humor. “deal.”

a few people were giving you strange looks as they looked over you two, but you both ignored them. one older woman smiled as she passed, muttering something about young love.

you took D’s hand, threading your fingers through theirs.

“come on,” you said, a grin breaking through the tears. “i can’t wait to show you around the city.”

D huffed a laugh. “don’t know if i’m gonna like it too much,” they said, but their eyes were soft, and their grip on your hand was firm.

“you’ll like it,” you promised. “i’ll make sure of it.”

D glanced at you, their gray eyes soft and full of something that made your chest feel too small.

“maybe,” they said. “but even if i don’t... i’ve already found you here, that alone makes the city tolerable in my book.”

[bitchesgetriches]

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about How to Pay off Debt

Understanding debt:

Let’s End This Damaging Misconception About Credit Cards

Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”

Dafuq Is Interest? And How Does It Work for the Forces of Darkness?

Investing Deathmatch: Paying off Debt vs. Investing in the Stock Market

How to Build Good Credit Without Going Into Debt

Dafuq Is a Down Payment? And Why Do You Need One to Buy Stuff?

It’s More Expensive to Be Poor Than to Be Rich

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

How Mental Health Affects Your Finances

Paying off debt:

Kill Your Debt Faster with the Death by a Thousand Cuts Technique

Share My Horror: The World’s Worst Debt Visualization

The Best Way To Pay off Credit Card Debt: From the Snowball To the Avalanche

The Debt-Killing Power of Rounding up Bills

A Dungeonmaster’s Guide to Defeating Debt

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke 

Ask the Bitches Pandemic Lightning Round: “What Do I Do If I Can’t Pay My Bills?” 

Slay Your Financial Vampires

Season 4, Episode 3: “My credit card debt is slowly crushing me. Is there any escape from this horrible cycle?” 

Case Study: Held Back by Past Financial Mistakes, Fighting Bad Credit and $90K in Debt 

Student loan debt:

What We Talk About When We Talk About Student Loans

Ask the Bitches: “The Government Put Student Loans in Forbearance. Can I Stop Paying—or Is It a Trap?”

How to Pay for College without Selling Your Soul to the Devil

When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans

Ask the Bitches: I Want to Move Out, but I Can’t Afford It. How Bad Would It Be to Take out Student Loans to Cover It?

Season 4, Episode 4: “I’m $100K in Student Loan Debt and I Think It Should Be Forgiven. Does This Make Me an Entitled Asshole?” 

The 2022 Student Loan Forgiveness FAQ You’ve Been Waiting For

2023 Student Loan Forgiveness Update: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly 

Our Final Word on Student Loan Forgiveness 

Avoiding debt:

Ask Not How Much You Should Save, Ask How Much You Should Spend 

How to Make Any Financial Decision, No Matter How Tough, with Maximum Swag

Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist

Two-Ring Circus 

Status Symbols Are Pointless and Dumb 

Advice I Wish My Parents Gave Me When I Was 16 

On Emergency Fund Remorse… and Bacon Emergencies

Should You Increase Your Salary or Decrease Your Spending? 

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

The Only Advice You’ll Ever Need for a Cheap-Ass Wedding 

The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It 

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income) 

Buy Now Pay Later Apps: That Old Predatory Lending by a Crappy New Name 

Credit Card Companies HATE Her! Stay Out of Credit Card Debt With This One Weird Trick 

Ask the Bitches: Should I Get a Loan Even Though I Can Afford To Pay Cash? 

The Bitches vs. debt:

I Paid off My Student Loans Ahead of Schedule. Here’s How.

I Paid off My Student Loans. Now What?

Hurricane Debt Weakens to Tropical Storm Debt, but Experts Warn It’s Still Debt

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years

Case Study: Swimming Upstream against Unemployment, Exhaustion, and $2,750 a Month in Unproductive Spending 

That’s all for now! We try to update these masterposts periodically, so check back for more in… a couple… months??? Maybe????

[kjupchurch-xx]

Conflicting Feelings Part Six

As the morning sunset swept through my hotel room's balcony view, I felt Hugh begin stirring in his sleep, "G'day, gorgeous." He said sleepily as I felt him start stretching. 

I smiled, "Good morning, sexy." I purred, leaning up to peck his lips before moving out of the bed towards the bathroom to turn on the shower. 

Today was going to be bittersweet. I was going back home today, my stay in LA had come to an end. It was time for me to head back to the East Coast, to the beautiful, busy town of New York City. Hugh was in LA for the filming of the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie, so I'd be going back to NYC solo. Truth be told, I missed my condo in New York, but I knew I'd miss my favorite Aussie even more. 

Now that things are beginning to happen, the thought of leaving breaks my heart. I didn't realize I was reacting to my thoughts until his voice interrupted the thoughts racing through my brain. I felt two arms snake around me, "What's wrong, my love?" He asked softly. 

I sniffled, quickly wiping a fallen tear from my cheek, "I'm leaving today to go back home." I said as my voice trembled. 

He frowned, "Today?" He asked, making sure he heard me correctly. I nodded, staying silent, trying to control my flooding emotions. "Do you have to go back home today?" He asked. 

I sighed, "I paid for a round trip, so my flight's already booked. I can't get a refund and I can't afford to lose the money." 

He kissed my forehead, "I'll take care of it." He said simply. 

I looked at him, shaking my head. "I can't let you do that." 

He smiled, "I want to and I can." pecking my lips again. 

I rolled my eyes, "I don't want you doing that. I paid for first class and that's not cheap." 

He chuckled, "You do realize I make millions, right love? I'm making $20 million from Deadpool. I can assure you a first class plane ticket will not break me."

I shrugged, "And I'm staying where?" 

He looked at his phone, "With Noldsy and Blake, and of course me. You have to babysit their kids from time to time, but it's not that bad." He chuckled.  

I looked at him, "You seriously want me to cancel my flight?" I asked, grabbing my phone. 

He pouted, "I would be heartbroken if you didn't." 

I smiled, "And Ryan and Blake are okay with this?" I questioned. 

He rolled his eyes, "C'mon, you know Ryan and Blake love you." 

I sighed, "Okay, if you insist..." I logged onto my app and canceled my flight, luckily receiving a 50% refund for a last minute cancellation from the flight insurance I'd purchased when I first paid for the ticket. "It's cancelled." I said, throwing my phone down, pulling him into the shower with me. 

As we washed off he spoke, "We'll drop your rental car off when we head out. We can take mine back to Ryan and Blake's." 

I nodded, "Okay, but I need to make a stop and get some more clothes. I packed for five days and I'm not wearing the same outfits for another week." 

He kissed my forehead, while rinsing my hair out, "We can do that." 

After our shower and packing up the hotel room, we parted ways to drop off my rental car, Hugh following close behind me in his. 

Hugh's POV:  

As I followed close behind her, I was overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the course of knowing her. We'd met each other in 2020 when she starred as an extra on a show I was working on. I had very little interaction with her on the show, but backstage was a different story. She approached me and told me how she was starstruck to work with Wolverine, which made me laugh. 

She was only 22 years old when I met her, I was 51, turning 52. She was an attractive young woman. She was funny, she was intelligent and she was humble. I thought nothing about her until we'd cut up on set and spent hours talking. She had a boyfriend and I had a wife at home, not to mention I like older women. We'd remained friends until she came to my rescue when my father died. That's when things went wild for me. Several things took place that her pride will not allow her to talk about, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. 

When I arrived back to NYC and to Deb, I separated myself from her. COVID made it easier. I kept trying to block the feelings out because I knew they were wrong. I forced myself to focus on Deb, and Deb only, but that only made us grow further apart in our marriage. 

While in England, not only did I walk in on her changing and saw her breasts, there was one night she had too much to drink and confessed many things to me that she has no memory of. She talked about her difficult upbringing, she talked about her failed relationships, but she doesn't have any recollection of admitting to me that she loved me and dreamed that one day I'd be hers. Or how if my marriage ever ends, she was claiming me for herself. That night, I'd had a few drinks myself and we shared a kiss. 

I thought about how after I walked in on her, she'd became what I'd imagine when I'd wank off. I'd imagine how perfect her breasts were, how I wanted to run my hands down every curve on her body as I fucked her, and how her pussy would taste, or how tight it would be around my fingers. I thought about how much I'd want to pleasure her and make her orgasm so much that she couldn't function anymore. Just the thought of her made my dick throb.

But, it was more than just sex with her. She was genuinely my favorite human being, besides my children and of course, Ryan Reynolds. She was there for me during one of the hardest times of my life. She keeps me grounded and focused on the bigger picture, even if I struggle to see it. I'd spent 20 years thinking I was with the love of my life, until I realized I didn't know the meaning of it when she came to England that night. 

Main Reader's POV: 

As we arrived at the drop-off for the rental car, I quickly returned the keys, heading back outside only to be bombarded by photographers. They photographed Hugh, me, us in the car together, etc as they asked if we were an item. 

"They're fucking relentless, jesus christ." I mumbled. 

He chuckled, "You act like you haven't had the press bother you." 

I giggled, "Not to that extent. That was different."

He reached over grabbing my hand, interlocking it with his, bringing it to his lips, placing a small kiss on my knuckles, "Did you want to get clothes now?" 

I blushed, shaking my head, "Let's get to Ryan's first. Let them calm down and then we'll go." I said regarding the photographers. 

He chuckled, "Okay, we can do that." 

The drive to Ryan's wasn't long. It was full of Hugh singing along to songs on the radio. He had a beautiful voice and hearing it on screen was nothing compared to hearing it in person. About 5 minutes later, we arrived at Ryan's place. Ryan and Blake weren't home. Ryan was filming scenes and Blake was promoting her new movie. The kids were with a nanny since Nanny Hugh had been MIA all weekend. 

As we walked in and made it to the bedroom Hugh was staying in, he ran his fingers through his beard, "I've gotta shave this." He said to himself. 

I smirked, "Can I help?" 

He giggled, "Can you do the Wolverine shave? It has to be perfect for the film." 

I shrugged, "It can't be too hard to shave mutton chops."

"Shawn will kill me if you fuck this up." He laughed, handing me a set of clippers. 

I giggled, grabbing them. "I won't fuck this up. Do you know how in love with Logan I was as a child?" 

He playfully rolled his eyes, "Don't say it like that. It makes me feel old and it's making me feel weird. You know I was 32 or 33 when I filmed that."

I shrugged, "I was 4 when it was released." 

He cringed, "God, stop. Let's talk about something else." 

I chuckled as I began shaving the infamous mutton chops, "I love making you uncomfortable." I said playfully. 

He looked up at me, "I'm not giving you a reaction while you're shaving my face, but I've noticed." 

As I finished up showing him my kick ass skills as a barber, we heard a voice downstairs, "Oh, Hugh! Where you at big fella?! It's your favorite Canadian. A little birdie called the media just told me you're with a hot little number. Is she here?" 

We quickly jumped at the sound of his voice, looking at one another, making a run for the door to meet him downstairs.  Ryan looked at us, still wearing the Deadpool suit, "Ah, there she is. Hot little number, this is my humble abode" He chuckled as he swayed his arms around showing me his living room. 

"Why are you in your suit, mate? They actually let you bring Deadpool's suit home?" Hugh asked, smirking, knowing Ryan was instructed to not leave set with the suit. 

Ryan smirked, "Sir, I will have you know, I stole this suit." 

I joked, "Levy is going to beat you."

Ryan laughed, "He can try, but no one can beat me in this suit, darling." 

I rolled my eyes, "Mutton Chops! Look at you." He exclaimed at Hugh, noticing the freshly shaved face. 

Hugh laughed as Ryan's face got serious, "Seriously though, I have a question for you." He said, pointing towards me. 

"And that is?" I asked, furrowing my brows. 

Ryan looked at Hugh and I, "We're rounding up people to play the Deadpool variants. Blake is Lady Deadpool, but there's another female one. Do you want to do it?" He asked. 

I gasped, "Are you serious?" my eyes widened. 

He smirked, "As a heart attack, sister. Plus, I figured it would give Hughy here more time to spend with you."  

[whispereons]

Oracle!Reader Part 1

Masterlist - Part 2

A light zap of electricity made your cheek tingle, urging you awake. Sleepily, you opened your eyes and were greeted with a rundown room with no furniture. The strange sight woke you up immediately and you sat up.

What the hell? This isn't your home, fuck, this doesn't even look like somewhere in your city!

As you surveyed the surroundings with more urgency, thoughts of the day before came to mind.

----------------------------------------

You were only supposed to drop off the money from the scams to your boss. Your forte wasn't fighting yet when you entered the rundown building, there was tension in the air.

Your boss glowered at the woman across the room. Before you could even ask one of your coworkers what's happening, guns were drawn. In less than 5 seconds the building became a mess of fighting, gun shots, and noise.

Trained instincts of running kicked in and you were already slipping past brawls trying to get to the nearest exit. The money was already dropped off, your boss couldn't hold shit against you.

Just as you got close to the window, a lanky man shoved you. You only stumbled back and raised your fists. You didn't like to fight but after years of living less than legal, you've learned how to fight long enough to escape.

In 10 minutes you were already walking down the sidewalk with bloody knuckles and a bruised foot. The other guy must be worse since you threw him into the window before escaping.

It's just your luck that a police car pulls up beside you. Stopping, you flash a smile to the officer as he rolls down the window.

"Sorry to bother you so late but I noticed that you're a little hurt. Do you need me to bring you to a hospital?"

What he's really asking is what got you hurt, but you keep your cool and answer with cheeriness.

"It's really nothing. I was just at the bar down the street with a friend when some people started getting rowdy. They got kicked out before anyone could really get hurt but I still got a little banged up."

You point to the bar that you passed by that's in full swing. The officer eyes you for a moment before asking a follow-up question.

"And what about your friend? Where are they, are they okay?"

Your tone drops a little as you reply. "Their wonderful partner picked them up so I left. I mean it's not like I have any lover to pick me up. What can a poor single person like me do?"

The officer instantly becomes bored and says a quick goodbye before driving off. You roll your eyes at the predictable action and continue walking home. Lying has become a natural habit for you and you've become damn good at it.

You finally get home to your shitty studio apartment in the seedy part of the city. Locking the door, you trudge to your computer as you ignore the screams from other apartments. You boot it up and start eating the cheap fast food you picked up.

First you check on the scam ads you posted to see which poor sucker fell for it. You forward the card information to another coworker and consider yourself done with work for the day.

Were you a bad person for being a scam artist? Yeah. Did you wish that you could have a normal job that doesn't involve hurting people? Hell yeah. Have you ever been able to? Nope.

You click the little Paimon app to run Genshin to distract yourself from those meaningless thoughts. You've been stuck in those loops long enough to know it's useless to dwell on them.

The mindless commissions are just what you need to relax. You smile at the sight of Bennett's idle before farming for the most annoying materials; Handguards.

You finish combing through most of the Inazuma islands before teleporting to Seirai Island. The statue of the seven heals your party from any damage that occurred.

Leaning back in your chair, you stretched your arms, sighing as the tension is released from your body. Deciding to turn in for the night, you exit out of Genshin.

Well, you tried at least.

No matter how many times you clicked, it just wouldn't exit. Brushing it off as a bug, you just shut down the device.

Instead of shutting down, the screen showed the doors to Celestia. With no prompt, the doors opened and the white flash shined into your eyes.

Cringing at the harsh light you waited for it to stop.

It didn't.

It got brighter and brighter before it completely enveloped you.

--------------------------

Feeling more awake after remembering, you look around the house. Other than the creaky bed you were on, nothing else was in the house. You stand up and nearly trip over a bag at your feet.

Opening it, you find nothing but you decide to take it just in case. That's when you notice that your knuckles are completely healed. No blood, bandages or pain.

You check your body and see that although scars have remained, all your minor cuts and bruises have healed without a trace. Feeling creeped out you try to leave the house. The nearly broken door takes a good amount of strength to push open but you do and stumble out.

The sight of purple thundering skies, floating rocks, and a statue of the seven shocks you. You stumble on the squeaky plants and hard cobblestone as you get closer to the edge.

White trees with purple leaves, blue grass and Naku Weed surround the ground. It's the same area where you tried to log off. There was no way you were in Genshin Impact; Shit like this only happens in fiction.

Hallucination, death, dream, or pulled into a fictional world. Your mind whirls those four possibilities. You stomp on what should have been your bruised foot. It's painful, but not as much as a bruised foot.

With death and dream off the list you walk to the small tree with purple leaves. An Otogi tree, your mind helpfully supplies. You press a hand against the bark and feel the leaves carefully. The sensation is too real and you're too steady to be hallucinating.

You must really be in Tevyat. You were never attached to Earth but being suddenly thrust here is still a bit jarring. You look at the statue of the seven and contemplate your next decision.

From what you remember, anyone who isn't from Teyvat should be allowed to take elemental power from the statue. Biting your lip you approach the statue and place a hand on the gold accessories.

You marvel at how the statue glows at your presence but when you look at your hands, you feel no difference. It seems you wouldn't be a main character in this world either.

Shrugging it off, the excitement of actually being in Teyvat started to well up inside you. You walk down the desecrated dirt and cobblestone path as you admire Seirai Island.

While walking you freeze at the sight of two Fatui soldiers at a camp. You could fight people and escape, but Fatui soldiers? Fuck no. You didn't plan to die this fast.

You sneak along the houses to your left all while trying to remember Seirai's layout. If you wanted to survive in this world, you would need to get to civilization. You needed a boat cause there was no way in hell you were swimming in water that could be struck with lightning at any moment.

You follow the left path that seems to lead to the shore. Fuck, a mirror maiden is walking the same path right towards your direction. With some fast thinking and only a small dose of panic, you scale the rocks on your right.

They were thankfully small enough that your minor skills could be utilized well enough. Breathing heavily, you lay down on the soft blue grass. You close your eyes and open them swiftly at something tingly but smooth on your nose.

It's an electro Crystalfly. Purple and beautiful. You lay there mesmerized before it flies off gently. You stand up in a daze and struggle not to blindly follow it.

You walk along the cliff's edge while being careful not to fall. You can't risk going onto the grass in fear of a spector chasing you. Yet another thing that can end your new life.

Once far away enough from the mirror maiden, you slowly climb down and feel relieved at not breaking a bone. The path splits into two and you contemplate which one would lead to the Waverider.

Logically you know the chance of the waverider working for you was small, but the chance of you finding an intact boat was even smaller. Your train of thought is broken by the sounds of machines whirring from the right path.

You curse yourself and start sprinting down the left path to get away. Forgetting the existence of Ruin Sentinels almost cost you your life, but due to your panic, you almost sprinted straight into a different Ruin Sentinel.

Skidding to a stop, you hastily walk around it while sweating bullets. Thankfully it didn't notice you and you praise your good luck. You walk more alert to the waverider but stop at the teleport waypoint.

Out of simple curiosity, you touch the teleport structure. It glows similar to how it did in the game. But instead of red turning blue, the blue turned gold.

A smile forms on your face as your mind races with the possibilities that this could mean. Excitedly, you run to the waverider and touch it. Its blue turns gold and a boat is summoned onto the water.

It's not the same boat as the travelers, in fact you would even say it's better. Climbing into your boat you marvel at how much space it has. There is a small screen in the middle with a handprint.

There is no steering wheel or any other controls. You put your hand on it and say the first island that comes to mind. "Take me to Kannazuka Island."

The boat begins to move and you sit down on the couch. The whole boat feels luxurious to the point where you feel out of place; as if you're the sole piece of dirt on it.

But you don't have to be trash anymore. This world is kinder to people that couldn't finish school or can't stay in one spot. You wanted to try a normal job, maybe set up a stall or shop. Work as a normal, legal worker, or even become an adventurer. If reckless Pallas could do it, surely you could.

No more lying, no more crime.

The boat stops and you get off as you try to remember which part of the island you stopped at. There's a waverider and a teleport waypoint close together. That's on the right side of the Tatarasuna also known as the place where Kunikuzushi died and became Scaramouche.

After tapping both the waverider and teleport waypoint, you walk closer to the main part of the island. You remember farming this place for the handguards which explains why there is no Nobushi.

After passing the broken down ship part, you spot a tree with lavender melon. Excitedly and with hunger you get close and pick the lowest hanging fruit.

It's juicy and unlike any fruit you've eaten before. Which isn't a lot since fruit is expansive. You stroll down the shore as you finish the fruit.

You recognize the area on the left as a place where a quest had a fight. Walking on it you smile at seeing it in person. It's really amazing how you're actually here. And holy shit is that Ei?

The archway made of rock that leads into Tatarasune has Ei standing right there. You freeze and your breathing slows down as you try not to be noticed.

Ei was a complex character meaning that she will cause a lot of trouble for the peaceful and lawful existence you planned to live here.

As you try to walk away casually you hear her mutter something interesting.

"I could have sworn I felt their presence somewhere here."

Ei locks eyes with you making you freeze. You should greet her with her long ass title but there was no way you remembered that. Instead you give a small bow and speak politely.

"Please forgive my intrusion. I hope I haven't-"

"How dare you."

"I'm sorry wha-"

"Who are you? Which nation are you from? How dare you show such disrespect toward Their Holiness?!"

Her glare is firm and her voice grows louder. Gaping at the sudden hostility, you take a step back when she starts to pull out her Musou-no-something.

Ei's words are barely registered in your brain as you scramble for a way to escape.

"Someone with the same face as the creator is an anomaly. No one has ever been born with their face yet you, a mere human mortal, has it. I shall sacrifice you to them for impersonating the creator's image."

It's like her one track mind as a soldier has taken over Ei again. You yell the first thing that comes to mind that can help you escape while pointing behind her.

"OH MY GOD, IS THAT MAKOTO YOUR TWIN SISTER?!"

Ei freezes and immediately whips her head to look behind her. You don't hesitate to book it back to the boat.

'Just keep running, just keep running.' You sing frantically to yourself as you hear Ei chase after you. You yelp in pain when lightning starts striking your heels with every step.

She's toying with you, you realize. She wants to know how you could possibly know about her sister. She won't kill you yet but you know she won't hesitate to harm you severely.

The boat comes into view and you jump into it. The water that you splashed in, in your hurry makes your feet hurt more.

"Do you think that boat can protect you from me?"

You sit on the floor and try to think up a solution but the pain coursing through your body is hindering you. But you already know that you can't drive the boat or else she'll destroy it.

"Tell me how you know her name. How do you know her connection to me? How much more do you know about us?"

None of your regular tactics can work on her, not without risking death. You look at your lap for some kind of solution and notice your hands glowing. A small plan begins to form and instead you answer her with a distraction.

"Do you truly believe that I'm the only person alive that knows about her?"

Ei goes silent and you take advantage of the time to try to figure out what's happening with your hands. As much as you hope you gained elemental powers, you doubt that it can actually help you when an archon is trying to harm you.

You feel like spiderman as you make various hand gestures with your hands trying to figure out what the deal is with the glowing. It's the simple gesture of putting your hands together and pulling them apart that makes the glowing leave your hands and form a small screen.

"Did Celestia send you down here? Did you have a mission from them to use the Creator's form to dig up information?"

As the screen glows white and shows the Genshin Impact logo, your breath hitches. Your only hope is to let Ei draw her own conclusions from your answers as you hope your new power can help you.

"Celestia, huh? If Celestia themself took on the form of the Creator for their plans, do you think they would succeed?"

Thunder strikes louder after you say that. The logo leaves and shows the traveler on the beach in Mondstadt. You don't think about the weirdness of that before teleporting Lumine to where you are at.

"What are you implying-"

Ei's words are cut off as the sound of teleporting rings through your ears unlike the game audio has ever done before. On the screen the traveler stands next to a gold teleport waypoint with Ei nowhere to be seen. You smile at the implication.

You look out the boat and don't see Lumine there. You look back at the screen only to find it gone. You make the gesture and the screen reappears. It's only when you look away from the teleport waypoint that the screen finally loads.

Lumine is still standing next to the gold teleport waypoint. After teleporting her back to the beach you close the screen. With the Ei threat somewhat subdued, you feel safe enough to collapse on the couch.

Lazily you tell the ship to sail to Narukami Island, Ei would still come after you. Anywhere is better than your present location. An idea forms in your mind and you clarify. "Bring me to Amakane Island."

Your mind processes the information of a Creator, your resemblance, the screen, and new threats. The first step is clear as day. The little shop on Amakane Island that sells masks is your first stop.

Hello anybody that reads this. I have started another fic series. Again. There is a large chance that I'll get burnt out and not finish it. But I hope you enjoyed this. The next chapter should have what I really wanted to talk about which is Oracle!Reader.

Taglist: @vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl [Edit: This chapter has been updated by my dear editor on 8/19/23]

[dragonheartstring360]

Some notes for anyone writing a character with glasses, from someone who wears glasses everyday:

- glasses need to come off before changing a shirt, unless it has a really big collar. Otherwise, glasses will get ripped off by said shirt collar.

- weather will affect how well you can see out of them, especially rain. Raindrops will dot glasses and it’s like trying to drive a car in the rain without working windshield wipers. Snow sometimes does this too, but not as bad, and lots of dust kicking up will make glasses dirty and foggy. If it’s humid enough (talking like swampy, Deep South levels, weather app says “90-100% humidity”), glasses will fog up when you step outside. If it’s crazy windy, glasses can fly off and the character should hold onto them or take them off and put them somewhere safe. They’ll usually get dirty or break in a pants pocket, so maybe have character carry around a sturdy glasses case if needed.

- not all materials are good for wiping glasses off. Some shirt materials just make it worse.

- if your character’s glasses are super dirty or smudged, they will be able to see it 24/7 as they look around and it’s annoying af.

- although glasses can keep things from getting in a character’s eyes (like something that’s been sprayed), it doesn’t protect our eyes all the time, especially if it’s coming at an angle or there’s a large amount. For that, you’d need actual safety glasses or goggles (and yes, they do make prescription goggles, but they’re not cheap).

- speaking of waves, for the love of god, DO NOT have your character swim with their glasses on. At best, they’ll get wet and they won’t be able to see. At worst, if they’re forced underwater or an ocean wave smacks them in the face, they’ll fly off and/or break.

- a crack in glasses is actually annoying af and makes it very hard to see.

- if a character’s face is wet, like from sweat or a ton of rain, their glasses will continuously slide down their nose and they’ll need to keep pushing them back up.

- lots of liquids other than water will make glasses opaque.

- glasses should be fitted pretty well to a person’s head. So if the character’s face is dry or there’s a moderate amount of wind, the “legs” that go behind their ears should be tight enough that they don’t just constantly fly off or slip down their nose. If they do, they’re too big (but obviously something a tornado will make them fly off).

- although I hate the whole “they took off their glasses and now they’re a ✨ model ✨” trope, people do tend to look very different with glasses on vs off - especially a character like Harry Potter who constantly wears their glasses. It’s not unrealistic that people who don’t know the character well (or even those who do, but just aren’t as quick) won’t recognize them at first without their glasses.

- as far as I know (correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve never been able to do this), if a lens pops out of the frames, it can’t be popped back in by non-professionals without the right tools. The glasses are just done for.

- if your character has contacts in (or this is a psa for anyone who wears contacts), DO NOT have them rub their eyes. The contact will pop out and they’re very translucent and tiny, so trust me, it will just fall and be lost forever.

- being able to see clearly out of one eye and not the other (like with a broken/missing lens or a contact falling out) causes headaches.

- glasses are expensive af in the US (idk about other places). One time when I didn’t have vision insurance, an eye exam and two frames with lenses (I have blue eyes and very extreme light sensitivity, so have to have prescription sun glasses as well as regular glasses) cost over $900USD. If you want the special frames that become tinted and basically turn into sunglasses when you walk outside, it will cost extra.

- speaking of those lenses that become tinted when you walk outside, they take awhile to fade back to normal after you go back inside. Your character needs to be prepared to still be “wearing” sunglasses for the first 5-10 minutes after they walk inside.

- if a character is wearing contacts, they can wear normal sunglasses. If not, they’ll need special prescription sunglasses to be able to see. You cannot wear prescription sunglasses with contacts in or you won’t be able to see anything. Ever tried to look through your friend’s glasses and everything’s weird and warped and giving you a headache? That’s what it will look like.

- not exactly glasses related, but people with lighter colored eyes will always have worse light sensitivity than people with darker eyes. I have very blue eyes and looking up at the sky on a sunny day will literally make me see stars, and especially if I’m driving towards the sun while it’s setting, I have to have my sunglasses on or I literally will not be able to see and tears will be leaking out my eyes the whole way home.

- speaking of prescription sunglasses, unless your character can see pretty far without their glasses or they’re far sighted, you cannot just take prescription sunglasses off and still be able to see, especially while driving. You just have to deal with it and keep the sunglasses on and look like a Matrix wannabe if it gets cloudy or starts raining, or you have to do the super speedy Dance of Death where you’re still watching the road in front of you, taking off one pair of glasses and putting the other on super fast (which usually requires you to use your mouth to open and close things).

- GLASSES ARE FRAGILE. Seriously, a very petite person could sit in them and snap them in half. They’re not something you want your character just throwing around.

- there are varying levels of how well someone can see. There’s farsightedness and nearsightedness. Some people don’t have that much trouble and can see pretty far, so only wear their glasses as needed. But some people (aka moi) can genuinely only see a few inches in front of their face. Like if I ever lost my glasses or they broke, I’d be done for. I wouldn’t be able to work or drive or do anything around the house.

- glasses need to be replaced about once a year because of possible prescription changes or sometimes lenses losing their strength and becoming harder to see through. Trying to tough it out after long enough will give your character headaches/migraines and sore eyes from eye strain.

- some mascaras (especially thick ones) will smudge glasses when the character blinks. Same with false lashes (although they’ll brush instead of smudge). Usually less intense mascaras and shorter fake lash lengths are better.

- eye makeup is harder to see with glasses on.

- please, please, PLEASE stop using the whole “omg look how much prettier/more attractive they are without their glasses” trope. Not everyone’s eyes can handle contacts and some people prefer wearing their glasses. And it makes those of us who prefer glasses or have to wear them feel like shit, especially because there aren’t a lot of characters with glasses in media who don’t become the butt of a joke (ie the one wearing glasses is the “ugly duckling” for it like in princess diaries, or like Velma from scooby doo always losing them and patting around, or people who wear glasses will always be some sort of dorky/insufferable know it all).

- glasses come in all shapes, sizes, and colors and can be used to actually enhance a character’s style! Some of them even have magnetic frames that click in place over the simple pair, so have fun using glasses to build your character’s style.

- edit to add: no one ever purposely falls asleep with their glasses on. You will crush and break them when you roll around. However, if a character does accidentally fall asleep with them on, a love interest gently taking them off so they don’t wake them up and setting them on the table next to them can be a super cute moment.

- whoops thought of some more. Hair products, especially hairspray, can be a bitch to get off glasses and doesn’t always just rinse off with water. If they’re spraying anything, including dry shampoo, the glasses have gotta come off and get out of the line of fire first.

- hair can and will get caught in the little hinge by the legs and we do occasionally not notice till we take our glasses off and rip a hair out of our heads.

- be careful when you comb or brush, cuz if the glasses legs get caught in the brush or comb, it will be ripped off our face.

Hope this helps! May the writing gods bless your work 🤓

[strandnreyes]

thanks @rangersoup @carlos-in-glasses @thisbuildinghasfeelings @paperstorm !!

TK looks at him suspiciously. “I took this picture on our honeymoon,” he says, like it’s a lie to use a picture from a vacation celebrating their marriage to advertise himself as a single bachelor. Carlos feels a little weird about it too, like he’s letting strangers into a private moment with him and TK, but this photo was only one millisecond. No one knows about the rest of the day—kissing TK in the ocean, trying a bunch of different appetizers at dinner, making TK come on his tongue that night.

“Yeah, but you can’t see my ring so it works.”

TK presses his lips together and gives the photo a second look. “You do look hot,” he reasons. “I’d swipe right.”

“Wrong app.”

“Whatever,” TK dismisses as he moves onto the next one. It’s him in his black Stetson and contrasting white shirt. “You think your suspect is into the cowboy thing?”

Carlos shrugs. “I think he’s into people who have nice things for him to steal.” He’s not exactly a flashy person, but he needs to do something to catch this guy’s attention. “My Stetson and boots aren’t exactly cheap.”

“I know. You seem to forget the hat was a gift from me,” TK murmurs without pulling his gaze away from the phone. “You should have one with you and your car then.”

Carlos frowns, looking over at the phone as if a photo of himself like that will magically appear. “You think? I feel like guys who pose with their cars are tools.”

TK looks up at him. “Carlos,” he deadpans. “You don’t actually care if people like you. And this guy isn’t actually looking to date you. He wants to know if you have money.”

Carlos slides back into his seat and scoops another spoonful of soup into his mouth. “You act like I’m rich.”

TK huffs a laugh. “We’re doing alright, baby. Oh my god, a shirtless pic?”

Carlos blushes and looks down at his soup. “What? That’s what the people want, right?”

“Oh, really? The people want your abs? What’s next? A dick pic?”

tagging @alrightbuckaroo @basilsunrise @bonheur-cafe @butchreyes @chicgeekgirl89 @carlossreaders @carlos-tk @freneticfloetry @emsprovisions @heartstringsduet @henrygrass @ironheartwriter @lightningboltreader @liminalmemories21 @orchidscript @reyesstrand @rmd-writes @tellmegoodbye @theghostofashton @whatsintheboxmh @welcometololaland + open tag!!