#charles was being a MEANIE.

[yourfavoritemanager]

I told him I wasn’t going to watch My Little Pony and he couldn’t make me. He didn’t appreciate that.

Alright, what'd you guys do this time? I'm not mad, just curious

[giuseppe-yuki]

popular

charles leclerc x hedgehog shapeshifter!reader

w.c.: 1.5k

warnings: none :)

part of my shapeshifting!reader series

summary: no way a hedgehog can be more popular than charles leclerc, right?

picture credits from pinterest :)

the weather in zandervoort was beautiful. everything was pretty much picture perfect, with the sun shining bright and the wind making the plants sway softly in the wind. team hospitalities glimmered in the rays of sunlight and engineers mingled around the paddock area. the problem was, you were stuck inside one of the ferrari driver rooms with your boyfriend, who was deeply concentrated on scrolling through social media on his phone. i have very important work to do, he had said when he led you into the room, dumping his racing gear in a corner. now, you watch as his watercolor eyes glanced up and down at an alarming pace as he swiped through his tiktok fyp on his couch. 

“i thought you had work to do, charlie,” you say, picking at your fingernails. 

charles looks up from his phone and glances at you sprawled out on the couch next to him. ”um… yes, i am. this is important,” he replies, going back to his phone, this time clicking through instagram. 

“wow…” you mutter, glaring at his oblivious figure on the couch. “that’s not kind of you to lie to me.”

he doesn’t respond as he types a quick note to what seems to be carlos on messages. 

you reach into your bag, fishing out your tinted plumping lip gloss. after swiping a considerable amount onto your lips, you haul yourself up into a sitting position. you bat your eyelashes at charles, and start speaking to him in your sweetest voice. 

”can i have a kiss, mon amour?”

to that, he gladly drops his phone momentarily in his lap to peck your lips.

you grab him and start kissing him roughly, borderline making out with him as you try and get as much lip plumper on to him. 

“woah,” he says, pulling back afterwards, grinning from the intense kiss. “what was that for?” then, his eyes grow wide. “woah!!” he cries again, this time for a different reason. he raises his hand to his lips. “wait, why are my lips tingling??”

you giggle not-so-secretly, quickly shoving the lip gloss back into your bag. 

unfortunately, your boyfriend was a formula one driver, so of course he used his absolutely wild reaction time to his advantage. he whips out his hand and snatches the offending beauty product out of your hand. 

“LIP PLUMPER???” he shrieks, reading the fancy print on the label. he jumps up from the couch, phone all but forgotten. “oh, you are going to pay for this,” he announces. 

cackling, you leap away from him, running to the opposite side of the room in order to avoid being captured. he sprints towards you, arms out.

fortunately for you, you had one more trick up your sleeve. you throw him a wink before shifting into your hedgehog form, and scurry quickly behind a dresser. wedging yourself in the small crack, you squeak tauntingly at charles as he is left glowering at you through the gap.

he pouts at you, arms crossed. “meanie!” he snaps, “my lips still feel so weird after you cursed me with whatever that was!” 

five minutes before charles is scheduled to head to team headquarters for a meeting, you sneakily try to sneak out of the crevice behind the dresser. charles, newly dressed in a hoodie and rather ugly pair of jeans spots you though, and snatches you up. you roll up into a ball and try using your quills to poke him rather unsuccessfully. “tsk, tsk, tsk,” he says, shaking his head with a smug smile at your irritable screeches in his hand. “don’t try and purposely poke me when you’re the one who started this, baby.”

you roll your eyes at him and plop yourself down in the middle of his hand. 

however, before you know it, you are raised from your seat in your boyfriends hand into the fluffy hood of his jacket.  “ha,” he exclaims, shoving you in rather unceremoniously. “that’s what you get for being a bully- hoodie jail!” 

he walks out of his driver’s room with you tucked snugly in his hood, and both hands clutching his celsius branded water bottle and his phone. somehow, the nice zandvoort weather from before had done a complete 180, and turned from warm and sunny into chilly and wet in the time period you were inside charles’ driver room. so, you honestly weren’t complaining for being stuck in metaphorical “hoodie jail”- it was warm and comfy being wedged in the soft material. you basically fall asleep with the methodical rocking and soothing tones of charles talking to fans and other drivers as he strolls through the paddock.

by the time you wake up, you can tell a bit of time has passed. the fresh smell of light rain fills your nose, and the sky has turned a significant darker shade. you peek out of charles' hood, waddling your way out onto his shoulder. 

feeling your tiny paws on the top of his shoulder, he gently scoops you up into his hand. 

“had a good sleep, huh?” he laughs, giving you a few pats on the head.

you let out a content yawn, as if answering his question, and then stretches out your tiny body.

he smiles at you, amused at your cute antics. “you slept soundly the whole way from the drivers room and through my entire meeting. i am surprised how you even slept through carlos accidentally squishing you when he slapped my back in greeting!”

suddenly, you and charles are interrupted by the most egregious shout that you both had ever heard.

“OH MY GOODNESS!” a nearby fan shouts, absolutely vibrating with excitement. “IS THAT A HEDGEHOG???”

charles turns to the man, blinking in surprise. “um.. yes! it is,” he states.

the fan’s previous yell of delight had caused a trickle of nearby fans and media reporters to crowd around charles, eager to get a look and a picture of the supposed hedgehog in his hands. 

overlapping yells from the crowd fills your ears. “leclerc, leclerc, can you pose for a picture with your hedgehog?” “please, charles, can i pet the hedgehog?” “are you free for an interview on how you manage a pet in the paddock?” “a signature please!!!”

used to the media attention because of your active role as charles’ girlfriend, you pose yourself in a flattering angle and blink cutely at the phones and high quality cameras turned in your direction. 

“hey, do a trick!” a little girl shouts from the crowd.

you do a simple turn around your boyfriend’s hand and wiggle your butt. 

the crowd erupts into cheers, as if you had just done an impossible feat. 

“what a talented hedgehog!” a nearby reporter exclaims. she tells her crew to train their camera on you, as if the famed formula 1 driver charles marc herve perceval leclerc was not just standing right there. 

the news of your presence quickly spreads from mouth to mouth.

as charles slowly inches his way through the paddock towards his driver’s room, more and more fans come up, requesting pictures with you. 

a girl walks up, bracelet in hand. it is lined with red and white beads, with the words “forza ferrari siempre” in gold lettering in the front. charles reaches out his hand, thanking her for the gift. but, she snatches it back, shaking her head. “this is actually for your hedgehog.” she says, draping the bracelet over your spiny back. 

you give her a lick of thanks, smiling internally at her squeal of delight. 

your boyfriend lets out a grumble of annoyance at being rejected. “hmph, fine, i didn’t really want it anyway,” he mutters under his breath.

bright and early the next morning, you climb out of charles’ ferrari, phone in hand. your boyfriend reaches out his hand for you to hold, which you gladly take. it’s warm, compared to the chilly weather that has suddenly overcome zandervoort over the weekend. you pull your designer puffer jacket closer around you as you scan into the paddock.

the media stationed at the gate greets you both warmly, cameras clicking. 

“hey!” they shout, waving their arms. “over here please!” 

you wave politely, flashing your best smile for the camera. 

“they love me so much,” you joke. “those pictures of my top-tier posing went viral yesterday!”

“no, they love me more!” charles shoots back confidently.

as soon as the words leave his mouth, some fans approach him. “hi charles, when are you bringing your hedgehog out?” they ask enthusiastically. “we saw pictures of her on twitter yesterday and would like to take our own photographs with her please!” a fan reaches into her ferrari branded jacket and pulls out an ink pad. “look!” she exclaims, gesturing to it. “i even specially bought an ink pad so i can get her ‘signature’ as well.”

you raise an eyebrow at charles, smirk on your face. 

he rolls his eyes at you, and turns back to the fans. 

“yeah, ok fine, i’ll bring her out soon.”

a/n: the last oneshot for the shapeshifting series! this series was honestly so fun to write, and i'm already excitedly planning the spinoff version. thank you to all the readers who followed along with me on my journey for my first ever series! i love you all <3

taglist: ilivbullyingjeongin @ale-522 @formula1-motogpfan @aceyalonso @my0hmary 

@mbappebby @madkohi @rakshatos @heartsforleclerc @papaya-twinks

[santrrl]

Logan Howlett with Metalhead!reader, face piercings, tattoos, dark clothes - the whole get up.

i need grumpy x sunshine too, like reader actually being a cute little thing :')

L.H X METAL!HEAD READER

Author says; Thank you so much for your request!! I love doing them,l so this is gonna be the first of a few hopefully !<3 I LOVE this idea, and thus this is gonna be so fun to write !! HEHEHEHEH

The first and second part are split between bullet points, and then the actual story so i hope i got this right!! I'm so sorry if I didn't as i have only seen few x-men and dp+w, so i apologise if it's not good!!

BULLETS :

-Once he meets you at first he physically stops. Like, physically, shuts down for a moment.

-Bro was born in 1832, and somehow, this was his first time seeing so much piercings in so many...visible places. He was fine with ears, as long as it wasn't too bad, but more than three? He's gonna shake his head like a dad and shrug it off.

-At first he would probably think you're some emo, hormonal meanie, so when he finally takes a jab at you, he stops dead AGAIN. You? You wearing layer after layer of black n white are more energetic than he thought? What?

-at some point during your years of knowing each other, of course youre gonna be in his contacts. He never saw ':3' before, but..you learn something new every day.

-The first time he sees so many tats on one limb, he doesn't know whether to be amazed or turned on. So he opted for both.

-"Hey, you okay?" He'd smell the freshness of your new tats, and always find a way to let them be a excuse for him to talk to you.

-You look so....different, so mean, yet, you're so nice? He couldn't understand it. He loved being mean to the people that deserved it, why you felt bad and guilty? Over his head. But the pure fact you looked like a meanie, but weren't? God he wanted to destroy you.

FIC; (Kinda? Im so sorry if its bad, not correlating to the above)

"Welcome to Charles Xavier's school for gifted youngsters. I am Charles, by the way." The man in front of you would grin, opening the doors to the busy entrance. Some students were walking, others chatting and others were showing off their mutations.

"This is where you'll be spending, ah, the majority of your time." Charles grinned, snatching a paper plane out of the air. "Easy, Rodger." He smiled at the boy, who flushed red. As quickly as he turned red, he also turned as white as your eye shadow. And blush. And everything else that you had on that was white currently.

He quickly scurried off, whispering to his friends. "They'll get used to you in time. They think you're cool." Charles chuckled. As you made your way through the tour of the school, you eventually landed back to where you had started. "Any questions?" Charles asked innocently.

"I got one. The fuck Casper the ghost doin' here?" A gruff voice perked up, as I looked behind Charles. The man coming down the stairs practically had a halo on him with the way he had descended the staircase, white wife beater stained from God only knows what.

"Logan." Charles warned. "This is Logan, Logan, this is our newest addition." He introduced. "Keep this one away from magneto, all those piercings." He grimaced. "Oh, my god hi! I've seen so much of you! You're so cool my family adores you so much-"

Logan was confused. He didn't know what to be more confused about, the fact you looked so mean but were sweet, or the fact your rambling went on for eighteen minutes. He wasn't mad about it though. If anything it was...pleasant?

After a few days at the mansion, seeing what you could do, you ironically became quick friends with the rugged man. Even people who had never seen him smile were asking you what it was like. The press had deemed you two - 'Bumblebee team.' Mainly due to your black attire, and his majority yellow view.

And also because it sounded like grumble and hee, implying his grumpy nature and your happy outlook. The media seemed to love you more than hate you however, the nickname ghost, and vampire among others being thrown around, alongside your chosen name.

It only took a few months before the man found himself being more attached. Demanding he be with you on missions, protecting you at all cost, it only took so much in him to not flip you under him when he saw how truly tatted up you were, when after a fight majority of your costume had ripped.

He even went to such lengths as waiting for you every morning to walk you to breakfast, lunch, whatever. "Bub can't the makeup wait?'' He'd sigh, before turning around, already knowing he wasn't winning this fight as your music played in the background, drowning out the sound of a shoe hitting him.

Eventually, he got so fed up of waiting at one point, he just leaned over your desk, and wiped your lips with his thumb, before kissing you and walking away, obviously making you follow. "Just a way to make you hurry up." He'd laugh. LIES.

Those kisses eventually led to heated makeouts, and safe to say, you'd be fixing your makeup more than a few times a day.

IM SO SORRY IF ITS BAD LEMME KNOW AND ILL REWRITE <33

[snstse]

Posted August 29, 2024 by Capital B News.

“It has been four years since Breonna Taylor was killed inside her home by a hail of bullets fired by three Louisville, Kentucky, police officers. It has also been nearly four years since Vice President Kamala Harris uttered Taylor’s name in agreement that the 26-year-old first responder had not received justice when a grand jury declined to charge any of the shooting officers for causing her death.

Last week, Taylor’s family was hit with another devastating development in their journey for justice.

U.S. District Judge Charles R. Simpson III dismissed a portion of the charges against former Louisville Metro Police Department Sgt. Kyle Meany and Detective Joshua Jaynes, who were accused of starting a chain of events that led to Taylor’s death. The remaining civil rights charges reduce the maximum punishment from life in prison to up to a year in jail.

The judge concluded that Taylor’s boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, was responsible for her March 13, 2020, death because he fired a warning shot that hit an officer in the thigh. As a result, the injured officer and two other plainclothes officers returned fire for “self-protection,” the judge ruled — negating Walker’s constitutional rights as a legal gun owner, and his rights under the state’s Castle Doctrine, better known as the stand your ground law.

The decision to blame Taylor’s boyfriend for her death, and not the officers, is another stark reminder of the need for the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act, which includes ending qualified immunity, advocates said.”

—

*data as of August 28, 2024.

Source: Mapping Police Violence

“Since 2020, the number of people, especially Black people, killed by the police has continued to rise, according to the Mapping Police Violence database. So far this year, 212 Black lives have been lost during encounters with police, nearing the 264 killed in 2020.

Researchers behind Mapping Police Violence released a new database Wednesday that focuses on nonfatal police encounters in the United States between 2017 and 2022, the Guardian first reported. The database found that in each year, over 300,000 people experienced use of force by police that includes chemical sprays, K-9 dog attacks, neck restraints, stun guns as well as beanbags and baton strikes.

Black people are more susceptible to nonfatal police violence than being killed by police, the report found.

Hawk Newsome, co-founder of Black Lives Matter of Greater New York and Black Opportunities, wrote in an email to Capital B that the organization’s Black Agenda 2024 consists of dozens of proposed policies created by a multigenerational group of leaders from across the country, and for people who “don’t attend your churches or community meetings, engage in local politics, or take your polls.”

The agenda addresses ending qualified immunity to allow families of police violence to personally sue an officer in question. It also calls to ““declare a war on poverty” to reallocate funds from “ineffective public initiatives — including law enforcement — to address the social determinants of health.””

If the latter goes in effect, ““it would prevent the necessity for cases like Breonna Taylor’s because we would be attacking the root cause of crime, which brings down crime rates,” Newsome said, adding, ““Less crime means politicians are less likely to allow illegal and overzealous policing.””

[shiratamahatsumiyo]

Gun Park with Mitsuri Kanroji reader

@aline1701, come get your Gun Park.

Mitsuri is a character from Demon Slayer and is one of the Hashiras supporting Tanjiro and the others in the Swordsmith Village Arc, fighting the Upper Moons Gyokko and Hantengu. She is known as the sweet and kind Love Hashira.

• Work has been really hectic for you these past days. These owners must take extra good care of their pets! They always feed them things that are not supposed to be eaten by them... That poor cat the other day ate shrimp and the owner didn't know.

• Because of how busy you are, the others at Jaewon High become a bit worried about where their gluttonous social butterfly went. Word quickly spread out that you are not on campus and the bullies started to take advantage of that.

• Big Daniel encountered Gun that day and the man with sunglasses wouldn't leave him alone, Gun kept offering Daniel the same thing about him being his successor, and Daniel was having none of it. So they fought... You're just closing the clinic for the night and head home until you stumbled across their fight, you hid in a corner and search for your phone to call the police.

Gun: "....*pant*..... What? You tired already?..."

Daniel: "...No...*pant*.... I'm just getting started--"

•While Daniel was standing his ground against Gun, the bastard decided to play dirty and elbow him. You take action and then blocked his attack.

Mitsuri: "Oh my goodness! What is happening here?! No fighting please!"

Daniel: "What the- Mitsuri? Is that you? What are you doing here?!"

Mitsuri: "I should be asking you the same thing, Daniel! This is the way to my house... Why are you fighting this guy at night?! You'll wake up my neighbors!!"

Gun: "Great. Another fight interrupted. Why does this always happen. And how did you block that?"

Mitsuri: "H-hey! You better stop fighting each other or I'm calling the police!"

Gun: "This one's a bitch too."

Mitsuri: *GASP*

Daniel: " Umm, Mitsuri--"

Mitsuri: " Y-YOU SAID THE B WORD! THAT WAS VERY RUDE OF YOU! PLEASE APOLOGIZE!"

Gun: " ...Huh? Is this bitch for real?"

Daniel: "Mitsuri, please, you might kill him--"

Mitsuri: *GASP* "YOU SAID IT AGAIN! THAT'S IT, YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH MY FRIEND AND GAVE HIM SCRATCHES AND DIDN'T APOLOGIZE TOO!! YOU'RE FIGHTING ME NOW!!!"

Gun: "And what are you gonna do? OH SHI-"

Mitsuri: "I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS BUT YOU'RE BEING A MEANIE!!!" *LIFTS GUN'S CAR AND FUCKING THROWS IT AT HIM*

• Gun was definitely sure that if he didn't react in 1.5 milliseconds and dodged, he would've been the ugliest Lookism character with broken bones and with misshapen facial features...

• Gun got excited and was about to punch you but got interrupted once more by a call from Charles Choi. He leaves after telling Daniel that his offer is still on the table. Anyways, you scolded Daniel about fighting Gun was dangerous but Daniel just brought up questions asking you what your work out routine is.

• Gun took notice of your abnormal strength and decided to request for Kouji to give some information about you. Goo misunderstood Gun's sudden interest to you as a sexual liking and teased him until Gun threatened to break his jaw.

• Believe Gun's disappointment after reading your file. It says that you possess abnormal strength from birth but you're desperate to hide it?? Just for a successful marriage??? Fuck no, he's stalk you and fight you until you realize how useful your strength is and will have no use for marriage anymore. That'll totally work, right?

• Everyone is very happy to have your presence in the classroom again. Vasco can share dangos with you now. The bullies hide in fear like roaches after sensing you coming back. You told them that you were just busy with your job and that gave them a relief since you almost never miss a single class.

• Everything seems to come back to normal until you see the same man with sunglasses at your doorstep waiting for you.

[pookietsunoda]

Saw this post abt Alonso getting accidentally electrocuted and thinking he was 14 (as well as this tag on a reblog)

what if... the whole grid accidentally got struck by some deus ex machina non fatal zap that gave them temporary amnesia and they all became convinced they were 14 for a day? Here is what I think would happen:

First off, they're all so hyped about being F1 drivers and get excited about the dumbest shit (phone games, wheel guns, tire blankets)

Max and Charles fight each other over the Inchident

George is starstruck by the fact that Alex is an F1 racer (bc Alex was his karting hero growing up) but Alex didn't become friends with George until he was 15, so he has no idea who George is, which is Humiliating to fragile teenage George.

Half of them can't speak English fluently yet. Only the younger ones (Oscar, Franco, etc) know that google translate exists and they help massively in the linguistic problems.

Unclear whether or not Pierre and Esteban are besties or enemies, or both. They are one of those things, and they're insane about it because they're teenagers. Lance and Esteban are probably like Normal friends though.

Lewis is like "where tf is Nico" and finds adult Nico. Lewis is super pumped to hear that they both made it to F1, were teammates and won WDCs, Lewis is an F1 GOAT, and that Nico married his childhood crush. (Their life trajectories literally sound like what a kid imagines their future to be like.) And Nico is like "hey we actually had a falling out" and Lewis is like "that's crazy man, how would we stop being friends? You want some frosties?"

Immediate Spanish speaker clique between Fernando, Carlos, Checo, and Franco. They are shook that THE Fernando Alonso wants to be besties with them (especially Carlos since Fernando is his hero).

KMag and Hulk are probably friends since this is pre Suck My Balls and they're friends now so, their energies align I guess.

Being 14 year olds who find out they're rich and famous, they all want to escape into the real world and take joyrides in the expensive cars they own/ drink alcohol/ see strippers/ buy crazy stuff and their team staff is like OH NO WE CAN'T LET THEM ESCAPE (Thus ensues comedy gold of the team staff chasing kids who have the bodies of professional athletes around the track and trying to contain them)

If in Singapore, Yuki and Zhou manage to escape because they are 2 East Asians wearing designer and F1 merch and they blend in with the fans. (As a disguise, they swap team shirts and put on surgical masks and people are like "Is that Zhou Guanyu?" "Nah why would Zhou be wearing a Yuki shirt?") Word gets out in the drivers whatsapp that they escaped and they immediately get bombarded with requests for what to buy for the rest of the paddock. They cannot rly understand each other but Zhou can get around Sgp pretty easily bc a lot of people there speak Mandarin. He has to stop Yuki from breaking at least five Singaporean laws. They stuff themselves at hawker stands and have a great field trip but then get recognized and have to make an emergency getaway on a stolen electric scooter. They do get Lewis his Frosties.

Lewis doesn't know he's a vegan and almost ruins his reputation by being spotted by paparazzi eating Frosties with non vegan milk. Also gives himself a nasty stomachache.

Despite being told not to tell other people about the mass amnesia, Max and Lance both call their dads. Lawrence is like "My poor son! I will get the experts to look into this right away!" Jos is like "idc if you don't remember how to drive the car, you're gonna do it or I'll disown you." Daniel and Lando grab the phone and tell Jos he's a meanie and also was a shit F1 driver, then hang up.

George finds chewing gum at the bottom of someone's bag and starts spiraling, convinced that the Singaporean police are going to arrest and execute them all for possessing illegal items.

Lord of the Flies scenario where George and Oscar are trying to organize everyone to make sure they don't accidentally hurt themselves, whereas Lando, Fernando, KMag, Daniel, and a few others are just trying to have a good time and cause chaos. Bottas and Alex and a third group are just like quietly messing around in the back.

They come to a truce in order to organize a GPDA strike because they have been banned from leaving the track until they regain their memories. They barricade themselves in someone's garage and have a sleepover on the floor with lots of candy and games. Lewis finds a guitar and plays Wonderwall.

They wake up the next day extremely confused (but remembering everything) and race as normal LOL

[jellyfishsthings]

Hi love! Do you have a master list? Love your work!

I'm sorry it's not very organised with titles and stuff like other master lists but I didn't have much te to prepare it... enjoy tho these have to be my favorite works from many accounts. It includes both fluff and smut and a bit of angst....

more on the way in a second masterlist

🙏 please tell me if there is a problem with the links....

Masterlist No.1 (no.2 here)

Edit: Updated version ✌️

¤ = smut

smau = social media au

Marauders Era:

Remus Lupin:

Remus & lazy hickeys , Version 2 ¤

Remus adoring breasts ¤

Remus making you scream ¤

Getting you so worked up, you can not speak ¤

Kinda Meanie Remus ¤

Shirtless Remus ¤

Remus and his kisses ¤

Mean streak ¤

Summer vibes , Version 2 ¤

Taunting ¤

Rivals to lovers ¤

No homework done I guess ¤

Annoying distraction ¤

Wolfy traits¤

Making Birthdays special ¤

Remus in his feels ¤

Comforting reader , Version 2 , Version 3, Version 4

Taking care of you, Version 2

Warning label

Stress reliever ¤

Angsty Confession

Misunderstanding

Study Motivation ¤

Mean Remus, vol.2 ¤

Bad mood

Baby fever

Slowest slow burn to ever burn ¤

Formula One:

Charles Leclerc:

Baby Leclerc (smau)

Lotta history (smau)

It's never over ¤

Cat mama

Single mom

Jealousy jealousy (smau)

Lighting McMarried (smau)

For the hope of it all (Series smau)

Married to who (wolff reader)

Domestic Bliss (smau)

Bffs angst

Enemy racers (smau)

Vacation (smau)

Married angst

Revenge Reader (smau)

Overprotective (smau)

Charles as a dad, vol.2 (smau) , vol.3 (smau)

Max Verstappen:

Max being late

Max as a dad

U dumbfuck (smau)

Sexy times ¤

Crazy Cat Lady (series)

Carlos Sainz:

Obsessed (smau)

Mich Shumacker:

Rosy cheeks and salty hair ¤

Lando Norris:

Star wars? (smau series)

Danny Ric:

Best friends to lovers (smau)

Oscar Piastri:

Bookish (smau)

Soft launching? (smau)

This is about Oscar? (smau)

Who is Oscar Piastri? (smau)

Sweetener ¤

Grumpy x Sunshine (smau)

Kiss it better (smau)

Oblivious besties (smau)

My girl ¤

Vroom vroom bitch (smau)

Arthur Leclerc:

WHAT? (smau)

Oblivious bitches, pt.2 , pt.3 (smau series)

Ollie Bearman (i think you can tell that he is my fav) :

Besties to more (smau)

Insta dumps (smau)

Sunshine x grumpy (smau)

The black card life (smau)

Birthday boy (smau)

Race bffs (smau)

Teddy bear (smau)

Sickenly in love (smau)

(Extra)ordinary (smau)

Dating Ollie , vol.2 , vol.3, vol.4

No one else

In sickness and in health

Comfort after a race , vol.2

Domestic - ish

Morning snuggles

Those three words

Olives and Lemonade

Call me cupid

Only you (smau series)

[johnpriceslamb]

🎀 - less than 500 words

𝓐𝓡𝓣𝓗𝓤𝓡 𝓜𝓞𝓡𝓖𝓐𝓝

❥︎ arthur w a feminine! gf

꒰ ❥ mini drabble ꒱

❥︎ shy greetings and sweet actions

꒰ ❥ Mary-Beth being a giant tease and a flirt to reader . hyper-feminine! reader . fem! reader . many pet names in use . awkward-written ending . quick luv stori . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than characters mentioned below . reader has a dada and a mama . 2.3k words ꒱

❥︎ presents from whom

꒰ ❥ hyper-feminine! reader . fem! reader . reader is implied to be physically shorter than characters mentioned below . love sick Arthur . 1.2k words . Very quick mention of wlw Sadie ꒱

❥︎ untitled (🎀)

꒰ ❥ hyper fem reader as usuuaaaal . fem ! reader . > 100 wordiez ꒱

❥︎ untitled2 (🎀)

꒰ ❥ mini babble . hyper-fem reader as usual -.- arthur being a bit jealous is a bit of an understatement ;3 . > 100 wordiez ꒱

❥︎ beloved caregiver

꒰ ❥ fem ! reader . little ! reader . Arthur Morgan if he was a caregiver/papa . fluff fluff fluff . cowboy papa ?! . reader is mentioned 2 have hair that allows itself to be brushed easily . OOC Arthur -.- . mini head cannons ꒱

❥︎ my hero

꒰ ❥ Hyper-fem(?) ! reader . female ! reader . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than characters mentioned below . gun-slinging mention . brute cowboy bf x shy princess gf . arthur morgan being a complete nut over u . harassment . attempted assault . not proof-read :P . very rushed ‘m sorriiii!!! . 1.6k wrds ꒱

❥︎ may I please sit on your lap?

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . afab ! reader . reader is physically shorter than chars mentioned below . suggestive themes implied . wrds . not edited . not proof-read . Javier ver touchy . google translated Spanish . John is very drunk . 1.4k wrd-count ꒱

❥︎ always forever

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-fem ! reader . Arthur Morgan is a die-for 4 his sweetheart gf . OOC ! Arthur Morgan . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than character mentioned below . not proof-read . 1.0k wrdz ꒱

❥︎ caught (🎀)

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter den him . OOC ! Arthur maybe ? . flufflfufffluff . not proofread nor edited . ~ 500 wrdz ꒱

❥︎ fawn

꒰ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than characters mentioned below . crybbie reader sorraiiii . Karen’s a meanie pants but she loves reader . 1.1k wrd count. ꒱

❥︎ his fairy

꒰ ❥ hyper-feminine ! reader . female ! reader . reader is mentioned to be physically shorter than characters mentioned below . lovesick Arthur Morgan . super-shy reader . rugged cowboy bf x mini baker gf . fluff . Age gap implied . 7k words ꒱

❥︎ angelique

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than characters mentioned below . 1k wrd count. ꒱

❥︎ threaded elegance

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . very suggestive content w/ javier . close proximity . reader is mentioned to be physically smaller than said chars . poorly google translates spanish >.> . not proof read nor edited . wrd count/1.2k ꒱

❥︎ opposite attracts

꒰ ❥︎ In which Arthur Morgan is your husband / mini series ꒱

𝓒𝓗𝓐𝓡𝓛𝓔𝓢 𝓢𝓜𝓘𝓣𝓗

❥︎ Charles Smith as a caregiver (🎀)

꒰ ❥mini drabble ꒱

❥︎ Charles w a feminine! gf

꒰ ❥mini drabble ꒱

❥︎ ︎may I please sit on your lap?

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . afab ! reader . reader is physically shorter than chars mentioned below . suggestive themes implied . wrds . not edited . not proof-read . Javier ver touchy . google translated Spanish . John is very drunk . 1.4k wrd-count ꒱

❥︎ threaded elegance

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . very suggestive content w/ javier . close proximity . reader is mentioned to be physically smaller than said chars . poorly google translates spanish >.> . not proof read nor edited . wrd count/1.2k ꒱

𝓙𝓐𝓥𝓘𝓔𝓡 𝓔𝓢𝓒𝓤𝓔𝓛𝓛𝓐

❥︎ may I please sit on your lap?

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . afab ! reader . reader is physically shorter than chars mentioned below . suggestive themes implied . wrds . not edited . not proof-read . Javier ver touchy . google translated Spanish . John is very drunk . 1.4k wrd-count ꒱

❥︎ knight and shining

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than characters mentioned below . VERY SUGGESTIVE . No actual NSFW . 1k wrd count. ꒱

❥︎ threaded elegance

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . very suggestive content w/ javier . close proximity . reader is mentioned to be physically smaller than said chars . poorly google translates spanish >.> . not proof read nor edited . wrd count/1.2k ꒱

𝓙𝓞𝓗𝓝 𝓜𝓐𝓡𝓢𝓣𝓞𝓝

❥︎ may I please sit on your lap?

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . afab ! reader . reader is physically shorter than chars mentioned below . suggestive themes implied . wrds . not edited . not proof-read . Javier ver touchy . google translated Spanish . John is very drunk . 1.4k wrd-count ꒱

❥︎ threaded elegance

꒰ ❥ female ! reader . hyper-feminine ! reader . very suggestive content w/ javier . close proximity . reader is mentioned to be physically smaller than said chars . poorly google translates spanish >.> . not proof read nor edited . wrd count/1.2k ꒱

𝓙𝓞𝓗𝓝 𝓟𝓡𝓘𝓒𝓔

❥︎ Papa Price (🎀)

꒰ ❥ mini drabble ꒱

❥︎ …Daddy. (🎀)

꒰ ❥ mini drabble ꒱

𝓖𝓗𝓞𝓢𝓣

❥︎ Ghost as a caregiver (🎀)

꒰ ❥ mini drabble ꒱

❥︎ sick days

꒰ ❥ littlespace ! reader . fem ! reader. afab ! reader . caregiver ! Simon Riley . sickiesickie reader :c . da snifliez . reader is mentioned 2 be physically smaller den simon . not proof-read . OOC !!! simon . 1.3k words ꒱

𝓚Ö𝓝𝓘𝓖

𝓚𝓡𝓤𝓔𝓖𝓔𝓡

[soullessjack]

charles xavier is so lucky he didn’t get to experience Twitter discourse or everyone would be flaming his ass for being a trust fund white kid with normal passing privileges trying to preach about how appearances don’t matter to mutants who look like real-life Blue Meanies

[bruciemilf]

i just want u to know that the thomas and martha lore with them fighting joe chill is everything to me. so is like everything else u post. brainrot is so fun i love it

After watching some old movies, I really want Bruce to interact with Martha's family more. The Kanes in my mind are stern, cut-throat, and ruthless in a very graceful way.

Phillip Kane (played by Charles Dance) is like that one relative from vintage Hollywood films that you have to deep clean the whole house for when they visit.

Bruce cleans it, thought. Alfred couldn't give two fucks. The poor boy is stressed though, " Yes, it's not you he scolds for a single grain of dust on the furniture."

"Self preservation is an acquired skill, sir."

Dick's never seen Bruce like that. Frantic, moving from one place to another, energised by sheer stress. He also doesn't understand what's with all these rules! "But I wanna show Tim how to play on the chandelier!"

"Not this week, darlings, please," Bruce is constantly on high alert, "Uncle Philip doesn't,--"

"Doesn't forgive lack of manners."

Philip Kane marches through the manor, sharp as ever in his military suit, bedazzled in shiny medals. He's aged both roughly and like wine, blessed with the ability to own the whole air. " And in my day, we obeyed our parents without question."

Alfred merely steps in front of Dick, Tim, and Jason, "In your day we discovered fire. Mr. Kane. Forgive us for not being interested in outdated customs."

"Alfred. Transparent as always, I see. The bald spots are new."

" The stress of unwanted guests. What's your excuse?"

Philip scoffs, merely raising an eyebrow, but somewhere under that grey titan there's a glimpse of amusement. Bruce thinks he can breathe freely, for a second, but his uncle drags a white gloved finger on the piano.

It's slightly gray, and he's rendered with a classic look of disapproval. "I take it your education isn't the only thing you've abandoned?"

"I-I tried, Uncle Philip, but,--"

"Try? You either fail, or you don't." Bruce's faces collapses with shame and Philip sighs, as if he's seen all this before,

" Just like your father. I've told my sister this is what happens with Wayne men. They always pick the easy way. What a waste of greatness."

Bruce's mouth burns with defenses for his father. It's no secret Philip never approved of Thomas. He made it abundantly clear when he didn't attend the wedding or funeral.

Right when Alfred is about to say something, Dick charges forward, little fists striking Philip's knees, '' Don't you talk about my Tati that way! He's strong, and brave, and gives great kisses!"

Little of course joins his big brother, " Meanie!"

"You'll sleep in the attic if you're not nice! That's where I put Tim when B isn't home!"

Bruce is overwhelmed with the love his children have for him. He gathers them up in his arms and gives them each a storm of kisses. Philip hums, examining the scene.

" ...Acceptable. We'll have to improve on those punches. Pennyworth, do your job for once and fetch my bags."

" Oh, fetch them yourself, you bloody cunt."

"Hn."

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 30th of September, 2023

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 29th of September, 2023

Why is Harry still on the royal website as a working royal?

Interpretation: The person whose job it is to make this decision, is not making the decision.

Card One: The Five of Wands

This is a card of conflict and disagreements, Harry's presence of the website is a matter for arguments within the royal family. Some people (most people) want him removed or transferred to another page, a few don't care, and a few (at least one) wants him to remain on the page with the other working royals.

Wands is the card of PR, so there are PR reasons involved as well. Those arguing for Harry to remain on the website are concerned about the image of the BRF - they don't want the BRF to be seen as the big bad meanie who has removed Harry from the website, because that will feed into the Harkle victim/racism narrative. Others understand the concern but argue that keeping Harry there does more damage to the BRF than moving him.

Card Two: The Six of Wands, in reverse

The energy of this card is that of being defeated and giving up. The energy is that they (not everyone, but some of the people advising on this matter) don't want to remove Harry from the page on the website because it would be admitting defeat/admitting that he is a failure. It doesn't make sense because we all know that Harry has failed at establishing a separate life for himself, but that is the energy.

I hear the words ' We can't confirm that he is failure' and I feel worry about his mental health. The energy is of not wanting to do something that could be interpreted as Harry being a failure by the media, as they don't want that plastered all over the papers.

I also get the energy that removing Harry would close the door on him returning as a working royal some time in the future, and that is not a decision that some people are ready to make.

Card Three: The Page of Swords

This is a card of gossip, especially spiteful gossip. It is also the card of messages, especially messages that are strategies of some sort or that shape how people think, and it is a card about children (pages are children).

Pages are children and swords are thoughts and health/medical issues, so there is definitely concern about Harry's (child of the king) mental health (page, swords suit) here.

The main energy of this card is gossip. The BRF know that any changes to the website will be discussed all over the world. They want to make sure that any changes won't add to the burden on Harry's mental health and that they are prepared for the world wide scrutiny that will follow any changes.

Underlying Energy: The Two of Swords

This is someone who has to decide about Harry's place on the website and who does not want to make that decision, so they are doing nothing in the hope that the situation will resolve itself before the need to make a decision becomes part of a crisis.

The decision is difficult for this person because the logical thing to do (Swords are logical thought) is to remove Harry, but they don't want to do that because of the message it sends (Harry is definitely no longer part of The Firm). So they are avoiding the issue and hoping that something comes along to fix it for them. They also feel that making this decision would be seen as taking sides (William versus Harry) and they want to remain neutral.

As always with the Two of Swords, there is a bit of time left to make a decision, but if no decision is made then something will happen to take the matter out of the hands of the person who is undecided.

Clarifiers: The King of Cups, The Empress, The Emperor.

I drew three clarifiers for the Two of Swords, asking 'Who is the person who has to make this decision".

The first clarifier was the King of Cups. This is King Charles, a water sign Scorpio (the King of Cups is a Scorpio person), in his role as a father.

The second clarifier was the Empress, which is a loving, nurturing, supportive energy, a mothering energy, caring, kind and forgiving.

The third clarifier was the The Emperor, which is King Charles in his role as King and ruler of Great Britain and the Commonwealth Realms.

Taken together, these tell me that the person who is not making the decision to remove Harry is King Charles, and the reason he is not making this decision is because he is torn between what he should do to protect the BRF as an institution and his desire to protect and nurture his son as Harry's father. He is unable to put his personal feelings aside and do what is the best for the BRF. Whether you this this as a strength or a failing depends on your point of view.

Conclusion:

There is a lot of conflict in the royal family over whether to remove Harry from the website or not. Issues that are involved include playing into Harry's victim/racism narrative, his mental health, and the finality of such a decision (shows the world Harry is no longer a member of The Firm). The person who has the ultimate say in this matter does not want to make the decision, partly because they see it as 'taking sides' with one child against the other, and partly because their emotional side (keep Harry on the website) is in conflict with logical thought (remove Harry to show he is separate from The Firm). Eventually, either a decision will be made or matters will be taken out of this person's hands and a decision will be either made for them or forced upon them by external circumstances.

[ask-ikevamp-faust]

Hypotheticals

( Reply to @crowmero reblog. Sorry!! I didn't want to reblog because it was already long 😂 )

Admin: Faaauuust! You got a response!! The marry, kiss, kill thing!

Faust: Oh? Who is Charles being switched with?

Admin: Vlad-

Faust: No.

Admin: ????? You didn't even read everything! 😠 Get over here.

*reads everything*

Faust: I rather switch him with Leonardo

Admin: Why? All the points against Vlad are pretty fair.

Faust: Every claim against Vlad is the exact reason why I wouldn't try to kill him - At least until I find a infallible way - . If I try to kill him without a full proof method, all the points they made that could "potentially happen", will happen in that exact moment. Of course he can just change his mind one day and use us, kill us, or play his mind games, but I believe my odds are better this way than trying to kill him. If they can provide me with a guaranteed method to kill a pure blood I'll it do. Also, if Vlad has had enough alcohol he won't even notice a kiss.

Admin: ... Mhmmmm... So... what about the strawberry incident?

Faust: ... that's irrelevant

Admin: 🤨

Faust: He tried to induce regurgitation, that's all. I'm not saying anything more on that matter.

Admin: So you won't feel guilty about trying to kill Leonardo?

Faust: He'll be fine. I'll try to kill him, he'll probably pass out for a few days but ultimately be fine.

Admin: ... Right... So please explain to me why this wasn't your answer from the beginning. Why put Charles through the idea of being killed for your twisted thought process?? You could've just said all this from the beginning instead of giving these "reasons" why you wouldn't kill Vlad... We all know that you don't do it because you literally can't.

Faust: Look, our relationship may be strange but it is what it is. It's all hypothetical anyway, I wouldn't actually kill Charles for such a pointless reason.

Admin: Meanie 😤 Charles was crying yesterday.

Faust: How is it my fault he took the hypothetical seriously?

Admin: For someone who keeps calling it a "hypothetical" you sure took the thought of the consequences of trying to killing Vlad seriously. You are in no position to judge.

Faust: I'm done with this. I've said what I needed.

Admin: Apologize to Charles!

Faust: ...

Admin: Now 😡

Faust: My deepest apologies Charles. I should have taken our wonderfully twisted family into consideration when deciding this hypothetical scenario. There. Now let go of my sleeve before I bite you.

Admin: Excuse me?! I'll bite you back harder 😤

Faust: That's fine. Let's experiment to see who can bite the other harder, first one to be unable to tolerate the bite has to be a personal slave for a day.

Admin: Eww! You're crazy! Get away from me *pushes him away*

Faust: Hehehe 😈 ... By the way, Crowmero, I don't have another name to use... You can't hide behind anything, I see your marriage thoughts. It's better to be honest, you never know what will happen. You can come be a cat with me and leave your claw marks. If you truly don't like the castle, I have more than enough financial means to make other arrangements.

( That's the end! It's in a different format, but I hope that's okay! Thanks for the fun discussion!! )

[butterscotch-goat]

Live laugh love Sushi Soucy (lyrics from "Missing Hell")

(A LOT of OC rambles + bonus doodles below the cut!) (no pressure to read all of it, I talk a LOT. Like a ridiculous amount, I didn't mean to talk that much)

(OCs in order of appearance: Charles - he/him, Aster - she/they)

👏. The Manor trio in late 1891. RRRAUUUUGHHHHHH

(tw medical malpractice, emotional manipulation, implied physical manipulation, brief descriptions of depression) sorry this is very rambly

so this is right after Aster's awake-vivisection and after she got "betrayed" by Beatrice- that Big Meanie Thing I mentioned that Bea was manipulated into doing, might as well finally elaborate on it. It's nothing special fhdhhdhd but uh Aster finally had the guts to say no, she doesn't want her blood to be drawn today. She's tired and exhausted and weak and she just doesn't want to. And of course Bea is like "yeah that's fine 👍 we can wait til ur ready!" But Charles does NOT want to delay their tests and experiments(that being mostly injecting various animals with magic essence and seeing how it affects them/using it to combine them with other life forms). So!! He pulls Bea aside and is like "hey Beatrice you're,, Friends with Aster right?" And Bea looks at him like "..yeah?" And he goes "cool cool cool do me a favor and like. Trick her? And get blood from her with force?" And OBVIOUSLY Beatrice is like "NO!!!!???? have you gone MENTAL??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and Charles explains that it's the most efficient way, since Aster would let Beatrice closer to her than she would Charles, but if Beatrice refuses, Charles will do it himself, and Bea doesn't trust Charles to be careful with Aster. I mean duh the other day he was operating on her with no anesthesia so it's a reasonable assumption. Plus, despite everything, Beatrice still loves Charles so very much, and it's still difficult for her to deny him. So after a very very long discussion/argument, Beatrice feels like she has no choice but to go through with it. Regrettably!! Beatrice talks to Aster like nothing is happening, and in the middle of their conversation she gently takes Aster's hand and kisses it as she unbuttons the cuffs. I won't describe how the rest went down but it's gonna be ugly!! It's horrible!! Beatrice is as kind and gentle as she can be and Aster is fighting for her life. At one point Aster just gives up. She feels like an idiot for ever trusting Beatrice. Aster is left on the floor against the wall, one unbuttoned sleeve rolled up, and as Beatrice tries to explain/apolgize/comfort Aster after the fact, Aster punches her in the nose with all the strength she can muster(not much). So Bea leaves with her case of vials filled with fresh blood.

Beatrice is completely broken, she feels horrible and like there's nothing she can do to make anything better, and the only person she has to go to is Charles. The same man who put her in that whole mess is the one who has to comfort her, holding her and petting her hair as she sobs into his shoulder. With nothing else to do, Beatrice continues with the experiments and tests and plans.

Aster doesn't leave her room for the rest of the day. Or the next day. Beatrice knocks on Aster's door once in the evening to no response. The next day, Beatrice leaves Aster a tray of food and water. It's gone the next day, which reassures her a little. This becomes routine; Beatrice leaves meals for Aster, notifying her with a knock on the door. No one sees Aster for days, weeks. After 3 weeks, they're out of blood samples again. Charles (without Beatrice's knowledge) takes a chance and enters Aster's room. It's gross and smelly, piles of half-eaten meals on a nightstand, Aster rotting in her bed, hiding under her comforters, definitely unshowered. He gets a blood sample from her, Aster not even trying to fight it (see where that got her last time.) She doesn't do anything, really. The most that she does is flinch, wince, and glare at Charles. While he's there, Charles replaces Aster's bandages because she definitely hasn't had the drive to replace them herself. This too, becomes routine, against Beatrice's wishes. Charles visits Aster every day, replacing her bandages, making sure she eats and drinks and gets up to use her muscles, etc. Even though Aster hates Charles more than anything, it's easier for her to face him because she knows what to expect. She knows he's not gentle or kind and gets frustrated easily, but she feels like she doesn't know Beatrice at all anymore.

THIS is what I LOVE to write. Charles somehow ending up as the one being there for both Aster and Beatrice, and he's thriving! And Bea just has to watch as the love of her life lets in the man who's hurt her the most, and refuses to see Beatrice herself. Ok I'll shut up now

[the-empress-7]

Charles will use whatever PR he can to get what he wants, his past proves this. I'm surprised there are people who think he's keeping the Harkles out when he's working constantly to get them back. He'll take them both back and use them like they use him. They're the same. Only question is when and I think by 2026 for sure. We'll get big happy family but meanie William not being nice. Charles will use Harkle kids for PR as well. They will be a documentary about QEII but it will really be about Charles and how amazing he is and plenty about returning family who will play along. The plan is to get this all done soon because Charles has had health scare and he will use it to blackmail William as well. It is already becoming a bit reality TV family on show, Greek memorial is a prime example. Stay tuned more fun to follow!

[onegianthotmess]

Amelia’s Ikemen Vampire Contact List

The contact names and group chats I would have for these chaos men.

Napoleon Bonaparte - Panty Sniffer👀☹️

Either this name or “Trashy Fanfic Author✍️💕” would be my contact name for him

IRL Napoleon wrote a self insert love novel, so I’m saying Ikemen!Napoleon did that

It would probably switch between those two, if I’m being honest

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Fucking Germaphobe✋🙄

Pretty self-explanatory

I’d make fun of him for it and he’d probably yell at me for sneezing and coughing around him-

SORRY I CAN’T CONTROL WHEN I SNEEZE, YOU CLEAN WHORE-

Leonardo da Vinci - The Bisexual Cat Man💗💜💙🐈‍⬛

One, this man sleeps like a fucking cat

Whenever and where ever he wants

Two, you can’t tell me Leo and Comte haven’t at least had one maybe maybe not drunk night of sex together

Also, it’s a historical fact that Leonardo da Vinci, in real life, was most likely gay

But I’m saying Ikemen!Leo is definitely bisexual

His sex drive doesn’t discriminate-

And there I go rambling again, this isn’t my headcanons on what these sexuality of these weirdos is, it’s what their contact names would be in my phone-

Arthur Canon Doyle - Attention Slut Writer💃✍️

He doesn’t charge for attention, he gets it for free-

Also we’d probably just end up sending each other weird memes that we find while we’re up and on the internet at, like, one in the morning

Vincent van Gogh - Bubba😇🎨💛

As I’ve stated before, the van Gogh brothers have unofficially adopted me, so I’m their baby sister now

And I’m pretty sure people would ask if I’m actually related to them since me and Vincent both have the baby face curse-

Theodorus van Gogh - Bubba🖕🥞💙

Again, unofficially adopted older brother

Except we’re assholes to each other because that’s how we show our love to each other

Even though the bitch calls me a damn hondje-

I’m using salt instead of sugar in his pancakes for a month-

Dazai Osamu - Window 🪟

Seriously that’s all I got

He just climbs in through the windows to get into rooms, even my room

He’s a weirdo, but so am I, so I can’t really judge him-

Isaac Newton - Apple Pie 🍎🥧❤️

I’m his mom friend, I’m allowed to tease him

Also it was either this or “Fucking Nerd 🤓” and I didn’t want to be that mean

Also I’m the only one allowed to make apple pie for him because I don’t make fun of him for it outside of one tiny comment-

William Shakespeare - Wilhelm Shookspear🎭📝🍐

Tbh, I’d mispronounce his name just to piss him off

And then I invite him over to piss off Theo so that Will won’t be mad at me because I find him at least decent

Also, he’s Vincent’s bestie, why would I keep my unofficially adopted big brother away from his bestie he’s probably kissed while drunk once or twice

Le Comte de Saint-Germain - Mommy Comte🥰🥰

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Comte is the mother of the mansion and Leonardo is the chill as fuck dad

Also, the residents are his children

It’s literally canon that he unofficially adopted them

Sebastian/Akihiko Satou - Husband 🥰

Self-explanatory

I could’ve been mean, but I love him too much and he’d revoke my affection privileges for a week and replace them with twice as many forehead flicks

Meanie bobeanie

But I love him-

Vlad - Strawberry Shortcake🍰💐🥀

It was either this name or “Dusty Old Man😐”

And he’s pretty as fuck, so that name didn’t really fit in my opinion-

I give him free strawberry desserts, he gives me free flowers to decorate the mansion with

It’s a win-win, really

Johann Georg Faust - Pyromania💥💥💥

Tbh, I’d make fun of him for his death all the fucking time

Mutual agreement that we insult each other and try to kill each other half the time and the other half we civilly interact with a sprinkle of petty insults

It’s fun!

Charles-Henri Sanson - Baby Blues💙💙

He has pretty eyes, what do you want from me?

Also he’s a babie, he needs love!

I’m borderline adopting most of these idiots at this point but I don’t care-

THEY’RE TRAUMATIZED AND ADORABLE!!

ESPECIALLY CHARLES

[cobalt-knave]

TAZ Steeplechase ep 35

Hey, uh, hey Krystak with a K?? How you doing, bud???

“Hey, Dad, this makes up for the 1 you rolled in Ethersea”

Montrose is such a strange little dude. What a guy.

“Hm. A nice metaphor, but if a saw came out and cut up my friend Charles, I would probably chuck it out.”

“I object, your honor.” “To what?” “To being boiled down to my basic components?”

“InnerJew”

“EnerGoo: The Energy Goo”

“Beef removes his shirt.” “Oh wow.” “Yeah, it’s pretty nice. Like, ka-chow.”

BEEF THINKS OF THEM AS FRIENDS AND CARES ABOUT THEM

“Beautiful and touching! But are the elders swayed!”

“I flex a little bit too” “Excellent! They’re loving it!”

“Demonstrate altruism!”

“We have two wigs between the three of us, so we just stack the wigs on top of Emerich.”

“An ardvarcoyote squattles over to you.”

I love this show so much

I see Greg the emperor puma is a real guys guy. You know? Guys who are more guys than him.

I love Emerich XD

Emerich is officially equally as persuasive as Montrose

“Mask man!” “Yes?” “What do you have to say for yourself?”

MONTROSE LORE THAT MIGHT BE LIES???

Las Vegas, Nevada. In a middle school social studies class.

Montrose is such a liar, no way any of this is true.

I need Montrose too fail his sway roll on this

“Stop moving the woodimal.” “It’s listening.”

The Montrose lore is that Montrose is a liar who likes movies :thumbs up: Love him for it.

“That same hunger and boredom exists within all of us.”

“I instead appeal to your wrath.”

This show is WILD and I LOVE it

“All of them joining together. Not all. That would be wild.”

loving this music

“Let’s call him.......uhhhhh Fred. What was the other one?” “Meanie.” “Let’s call this one Jerky.”

Montrose comes to Emerich’s defense!

“Fast like a falcon. Spiky like a pangolin. It’s the perfect weapon.”

“The biggest baddest one. In fact, he’s named Worstie.”

“Yeah, you’re doing judo at this robot is the problem.”

Is that permanent??? The two-tusks for a hand??

I feel very strongly that that was an Emerich hardlight

YEAH BAYBEEE

YEAH BAYBEEEEEE EMERIL’S SPECIAL PROJECT CALLED IT

GOD I love this show so much