#charles offdensen x reader

[bratdotcom]

SMALL THINGS I THINK THE BOYS WOULD FALL FOR + CHARLES !!!

( dethklok + charles x reader hcs !! this is my first time writing for them so if its ooc i apologize in advance 😭 )

NATHAN

- Being able to rest with you. He's an overthinker, even when it comes to resting

- He constantly wonders to himself if he's doing things right. Having you there to reassure him and bounce ideas with him makes Nathan feel much more confident about making big decisions for the band when Pickles is busy

- Reminding him to wear his glasses. Most of the time, he doesn't bother to unless the situation really calls for it

- Speaking of glasses, when he's in public with you and he can't see something , you become his glasses. ( When in private, he'll awkwardly tell you that you did a good job and that he loves you )

SKWISGAAR

- sharing

- straight up, just sharing anything

- Skwisgaar doesn't like sharing much of anything at all- you're the exception

- He secretly loves handing you sweets from his plate and watching your face light up when your eyes land on his fork (he pretends like it isn't a big deal, but it definitely is)

- He loves breaking pastries in half just to give the other piece to you

- Skwisgaar has a sense of pride whenever you thank him. He pretends like it's nothing (it's going to be on his mind for weeks)

PICKLES

- lazing around with you

- Pickles loves preparing the living room just for the two of you to watch on the various screens hooked up on the ceiling, snacks, blankets, and all

- if you're up for it, he'll gladly rewatch movies you've both seen a dozen times before

- does the trick where he pretends to yawn so he can wrap his arm around you ( does it because it makes you laugh every single time )

TOKI

- kisses!!

- pecks on the cheek, forehead kisses, butterfly kisses, Toki loves them all!!

- Especially quick pecks on the cheek when you need leave the room

- More than once, Skwisgaar has to tell him to pay attention during practice all because you kissed him

- Toki thinks kisses on the lips are the specialist of them all. He'd rather kiss you on the lips in private rather than in public

MURDERFACE

- listening to him

- due to how often he's overlooked in the band, he doesn't have anyone to share his thoughts with

- that was until you came into the picture

- William absolutely adores you. He knows that you won't ridicule him or cut him off when he's explaining battle facts or ideas he has for his own independent projects

- He also likes laying his head on your shoulder, but he tries playing it off as him being 'tired' from touring

- He tries to act tough but if you kiss him on the bridge of his nose his face will go entirely red (I'm talking about looking away and murmuring to himself type shit)

CHARLES

- calling each other

- even with how chaotic the boys are, Charles still tries to keep a consistent schedule so he can call you at the same times everyday

- Unsurprisingly, being Dethklok's manager is a time-consuming job

- Knowing that you're at home waiting for him with open arms makes him feel better

- He likes hearing you ramble about whatever over the phone whenever he has the time to call you

- On the rare occasion where he has nothing else to do, he often replays the voice messages you leave in his inbox, listening intently as if you were right in front of him. He misses you. A lot

[deadface-abominate]

please feel free to ignore if this is too much but can I request Charles with a fem s/o who’s a punk singer and how he would react if someone from the audience throws something at her?

This is all over the place lmao but hopefully it's close to what you wanted

Charles With An S/O Who Is A Punk Vocalist And Has Something Thrown At Her

Charles first met your band when you were protesting a Dethklok concert. You and your girls spray painted “industry pigs” on the Dethbus. Charles ordered the Klokateers to kill your band, but when he saw your face, he called them off. He was instantly smitten.

Being the professional he is, he worked out a deal with your band to work off the damages in place of his traditional punishments. Your band puts up a fight, but considering that the alternative is being brutally murdered by Dethklok’s goons, you take the deal.

He, of course, had you working as his personal assistant. The two of you are very “opposites attract.” He’s the corporate numbers guy in the suit, you’re the wild child punk vocalist, and somehow you work. He quickly worms his way into your heart in your time working together. He decides to wipe away your band's debt before it’s paid off, now that he doesn’t need a fake excuse to be around you. 

Charles always feels like he can relax around you. You have a better head on your shoulders than his boys, so he doesn’t need to constantly watch over you, but he also doesn’t have to act cool and collected in your presence. You don’t worry about things the way most people do. Your mission is to have fun and that attitude rubs off on him. There have been multiple times since you got together that the media almost caught him getting sloppy.

When he has the time, he comes to your shows and hangs out backstage. It brings him back to the early days of Dethklok, smaller audiences in cramped, dirty venues. No special visual effects, just the music and the fans. He gets lost in your voice, hanging on every rage filled lyric. 

Though your relationship with Charles is kept out of the public eye, your affiliation with Dethklok brings more listeners to your band. And, with new fans, comes new problems. Some of the newcomers are overzealous, to say the least. Being in an all girl band in a somewhat male dominated genre really brings out the freaks.

Fans of all genders begin obsessing over you and your girls the way ladies obsess over Dethklok. Your bandmates freely fraternize with the groupies, but you’ve got your Charles, so they’re of no interest to you. Your disinterest in sleeping with your fans doesn’t stop them from wanting you, however.

Charles has had to have undercover Klokateers “take care” of your groupies more than once. You won’t allow him to bring around his “fascist army of secret police,” as you call them, so he has to be discreet with them. The man is overprotective. 

It starts with flowers. Adoring fans pelt the stage with roses. Charles loves seeing how your face lights up at the gifts. The people love you! Not as much as he loves you, but they love you nonetheless!

But of course it had to escalate. Female fans developed a habit of throwing their panties and bras on stage. Charles doesn’t mind at first as he considers the action more for your bandmates than you. Hell, the thought of you being with some of your lady fans is, admittedly, a little bit of a turn on. He’s far too possessive of you to share you with anyone, but he can fantasize.

It isn’t until you jokingly take a particularly large bra and wear it on your head that the pangs of jealousy begin hitting him. While your bandmates are enjoying the attention of the groupies backstage, the two of you are hanging out in a more secluded section of the venue. You can immediately tell that something is up with him.

“What’s wrong, babes? You’re so quiet tonight,” You prod. You know your boy isn’t the greatest at expressing his emotions. He gives one word answers, but you can tell by the way his eyes keep going to your head that the problem is there.

“What, this thing?” You tear the bra off. “I was just being funny. I didn’t think it would bother you.”

“I just don’t like the thought of you with someone else,” he admits.

“Well, I’m not with someone else,” you remind him. “I’m all yours. There’s nothing to be jealous about.” You kiss him on the cheek. He fights back a smile. “From now on, I’ll only wear your underwear on my head.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Charles gifted you with one of his rare giggles. It was so adorable that you had to tackle him in a suffocating hug.

Eventually, some fringe fans accuse your band of being sellouts. You saw this coming, but Charles still gives a death stare to anyone who dares to voice their criticism of you.

During the last show of your first North America tour, one of your detractors takes it too far. A man in the mosh pit hurdles a half empty beer bottle directly at your face. The bottle shatters on your skull and draws blood.

The show stops and your band rushes to your aid. Charles commands one of his lackeys to grab the man who did it and escort him backstage so Charles could handle this himself.

“You just made the biggest mistake of your life,” Charles growls at your attacker. He has the man tied to a chair. Klokateers bring Charles boxes full of beer bottles. Time for poetic justice.

Charles methodically breaks every bottle on the man’s thick, useless skull. He didn’t usually partake in such senseless violence (as he preferred his violence to have sense) but this man fucked with his woman. Sticky beer and gushing blood soak the man’s clothes. Charles leaves him tied to the chair to die a slow, painful death. 

He wipes the dark expression from his face and goes to check on you. He finds you resting on the green room couch, your head bandaged. Your bandmates leave you two alone.

“Are you alright, my love?” He kneels between your legs and squeezes your thighs.

“All good. It looked worse than it is,” you assure him. “Where were you? I wanted you to stay with me after this happened.” Your voice is a little hurt. It breaks Charles’s heart.

“I had to make sure the attacker was, uh, taken care of.” His eyes dart away from your face. “I’m here now. I’m all yours.”

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” You ask. His lack of answer is answer enough. “Charles you really gotta stop doing that.” 

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He sits next to you. “I’ll increase security so this doesn’t happen again.” He wraps his arms around you. You rest your injured head on his chest. Charles might not be the most emotionally intelligent person around, but he always knew how to make you feel safe.

[dozing-composing]

Could you please do Charles Offdensen (Metalocalypse) dating a reader who has her own band? (Not death metal but just stuff like Mcr or green day)

I Vaguely Remember How He Could Be So...Silly. I'm Sad To Say I Forgot How This Show Went! But At The Same Time, I'm SO Glad I Started Picking It Up Again. Anyway, Charles Offdensen, Everybody.

ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴘᴇᴇᴄʜʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴅᴜɴᴅᴀɴᴛ…

✦ A refreshing face, thank god. Hopefully, you and your band doesn't cause as much trouble at those of Dethklok. He loves them in his own way, but there were times he had to stop and rethink his decision(s) for staying with them. ✦ He sees you're not in the whole death metal scene. You and your crew play more rock, emo, or what have you. He thinks it's impressive having a band in general, but the way your energy plays off each other...it's spectacular. And from that moment forward, he just had to see more. More of you. ✦ His "robotic" behavior did intimidate you, but once you got to know him, you both were so smitten. His flirt game is surprisingly strong. ✦ Sadly, he can't make it to every performance. But, when he does, he doesn't make his presence known. He'll most likely be off in a corner with his arms crossed, or getting a drink, and just take in the music. Then, when it's all over, he'll make his way to you and let you know how gorgeous you were. ✦ During those times he can't make it though, you're going to KNOW how much he loves you. My god, the way he pours his heart out to you each time he messages you about it makes you want to cry before you get out there. ⤷"(Y/N), I can't show up to this one. I'd say 'Good luck' but I know you won't need it. Every time you perform is like watching a star being born. Be sure to hydrate, and keep being the star you are." ✦ Some of your songs play on repeat in the back of his mind. When no one's around, he'll hum or quietly sing the lyrics while he's in the middle of working. ✦ If your band manages to sell records/CDs, he'll buy each album. If your band struggles to sell, he'll help out any way he legally can. ✦ At this point, Dethklok better watch out. Charles might make you an offer you just can't resist~☆

[polyklok]

Hello there!! I really enjoyed your "what makes them soft/what gets them hard" headcanons for Dethklok. I was wondering if you could write a similar thing for Charles? If you're comfortable taking that request, that is. If not, feel free to ignore. I love your blog!

OHHHH BOYYYYY

So Charles isn’t in my “men to simp for” Radar, as much as I love him as a character and I don’t think I would ever write anything like that on my own-

BUT YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS IM GONNA TRY also you seem like such a sweetheart so I have to

Charles Offdensen

What makes him soft 💘

Charles is, obviously, a very busy man. All day, everyday, work work work. His hands are usually full, signing away at documents, shaking hands to confirm business deals, fidgeting nervously while he discusses finances. So it means a lot when you gently stop what he’s doing and take the time to kiss his hands. Graze your lips over his knuckles and fingertips, he’ll be entranced by the sentiment. Even if you let go to let him continue whatever he was doing, he’ll be thinking about it for at least an hour.

He really likes being sung to. The only music he listens to nowadays is death metal (usually Dethklok’s) which obviously includes a lot of screaming, growling, and heavy instrumentals. He says it ‘puts him in the brutal mood’ for whatever Dethklok is going pursue next. But, despite this, his favorite type of music is listening to your heartbeat while you quietly sing or hum. Doesn’t matter what song, doesn’t matter how good you are. Please let him place his head on your chest and just sing for him.

Basically the opposite of Toki’s Charles is a serious, uptight, no-fun business man. Everyone calls him Mr. Offdensen, Dethklok gets the privilege of using his first name and occasionally robot, and only you can use any sort of pet name. Use it to your advantage, it’s so funny how dry he is to your dumb names, and despite seeming indifferent, he really does love the silliness of it.

“Hey there, my adowable, wittle pookie-bear muffin boy!”

“Hello Y/N.”

The thought of a room full of government officials and businessmen having to watch this display while holding back the cringe is so funny to me holy shit.

Whats gets him hard ❤️‍🔥

I’m gonna repeat again; Charles is busy. As much as he cares about you, he hardly has time for your relationship and is simply trying is best. Sex is barely ever on his mind. Until it is all that’s in your mind and you let him know. Seeing you needy and wanting him, hanging onto him, tugging at his tie, trying to pull him away from his work is the quickest way to get him hot and bothered. He just hasn’t considered being so desired before and it makes him crazy to watch you act like that for him.

Continuing that, when the two of you are in public and you suddenly get all touchy with him. Grazing his thigh, kissing his neck, running your hands in his hair. He knows that he should be above this and tell you to stop, but he really does love how shameless it is and how good it feels. He’s usually the most economically and socially powerful person in any room he’s in, so no one’s gonna tell him to quit on on the PDA anyway. If you’re lucky, he’ll pay you back for it at home. If you’re really lucky, he’ll drag you off into a nearby bathroom or closet. If you’re unlucky, well…

Is he a mean lover? No. Charles is very attentive and mindful of your needs. He’s going to constantly affirm with you that he’s doing the right thing. How selfless of him. But once that is all done and taken care of and he understands your limits…oh my god he wants to see you cry so badly. He just loves seeing you whine and squirm, your pretty face leaking tears for him. Of course he’ll be nice enough to kiss your tears away and praise you for how good you’re being, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop.

[theforbidfruit]

IMAGINE (Metalocalypse)

Being Charles assistant

Y/n H Akalitus has been working with Charles Offdensen for a few months, and her ambition, witty yet doormat style personality caught his eye.He likes how he can count on her with schedules, retrieving receipts and calls, making sure the boys are semi on track during meetings and knows when the mood to get serious about the boys safety.

He likes to say stuff like: “Akalitus is my eyes and ears.” “She’s uh my little strong rock.” “My uh butter to my whole wheat bread.” “The best assistant I could uh ever ask for.” But doesn’t says that to her nor anyone except maybe Abigail.

Of course he would have her tag along with the band whenever Charles is too busy to watch them. He has her phone number on speed dial when he needs to check up on her and the band-but mostly her. He has her name marked as “Little rock” on his dethphone.

One time when Y/n is getting ready to go home. She dropped some paperwork on Charles desk and tells him to have a good night. He stopped her right before she was heading to the door. “I see that you have tomorrow off. Any uh special plans or errands you doing? Just checking.” “ oh w-well I was gonna to to this book fair to meet this author and get my book signed.” She sheepishly replied, twiddling her thumbs. “Oh that sounds uh nice. You know uh I’m free too and uh Abigail is mostly gonna keep the guys busy. I was wondering uh if I could join too?”

Then there was a pause. “Kinda uh want to see the selection of books you know.” Akalitus smiled at him and nods. “Sure you can come!”

{I’m Sorry La Squadra! Metalocalypse is flooding my head lol I’ll come back to you!}

[the-s1lly-corner]

Charles Offdensen x reader who makes music

Was gonna make this a duel post with knubbler but then I realized I already... wrote that..

Notes: reader is GN, established relationship, admin has never written for Charles before so expect this to likely be ooc

CWs: none

supportive of you, he buys anything you put out- merch for example

if you do concerts, hes also going to go to them as well

he offers you some ties to companies that can help boost you, producers or just ways to get your music out there if youre smaller

but if youre a more private artist, and dont want to be huge?

he can get behind that, and hes going to respect that

politely listens to anything you hand to him

oh this man is in love if you ever dedicate anything to him and only him

thinking about that extra where hes rapping in his office, growing the idea of him showing you some of the things hes made

i doubt he would be interested in putting anything out to the public, having something private between the two of you is enough for him

sometimes you both sit down and comes up with things together

its... actually a little sweet

[bloodiedbats]

INTRODUCTION.

hii .. call me mandy. i go by any prns, and i'm a minor. this is a writer blog for me to post headcanons/one-shots that are either requested or made by my own.

rules:

do's!

angst.

fluff.

platonic.

romantic.

any gender.

x reader only.

don't's!

smut.

shipps.

anything illegal.

fandoms! (for now).

cry of fear/afraid of monsters.

metalocalypse.

requests are open and remember to specify wether you want a one-shot or headcanons.

[tokiwarcube]

How are the boys when their s/o is away on a trip for a while? Like which ones call constantly? Which ones are calm? Any have separation anxiety?

This was fun to think about, and very well timed! +Charles as well -- Enjoy! <3

Charles Foster Offdensen

Have fun for him, won’t you? Charles will absolutely miss you while you’re gone — with the lives you share, you don’t always have too much time to spend together, not to say that he won’t miss the time you do get — but he’s happy that you’ll be having a good time. His biggest worry is about your safety, but that’s nothing a few Klokateers can’t fix.

He looks forward to your nightly phone call more than ever — after a long day of running around, his steady voice is so nice to listen to. And you know, it’s funny — he’s already less stiff around you, but over the phone, he’s a little more willing to just be a bit silly. Especially as time goes on. Maybe it’s because of the distance that comes with a call. Maybe he just misses you.

And he’d be lying if he didn’t pay just a little bit more attention to the vibration of his phone, just in case you send him a text or a photo. He might not respond immediately, but he does look forward to hearing from you.

He does find himself thinking of you often — certain colors, trinkets, your interests… he’ll text you about them every now and then, just to let you know you’re in his thoughts.

Please send him a postcard or two, if you’re able. He likes physical items like that, especially if you scrawl a little note on the back.

10/10, he’ll be sure to take you on a nice date when you get home to make up for lost time.

Nathan Explosion

Listen, Nathan isn’t the most talkative man on Earth. Or in the States. Or in Mordhaus. Or, anywhere, really. No, his way of showing love is through spending time together. He loves getting up in the afternoon morning with you, going through your morning routine, watching you pick out your outfits… loves to just you know, exist with you. He thought he was going to be fine while you were gone, but everyone in a 30mi radius could tell he was not.

Spoiler alert: He is not.

He’s awkward on phonecalls, and is abysmal on videocalls (can’t hold a phone straight to save his life), so while he will 100% try, he’s not… he’s not great. But you know, just keep him updated with your daily activities — send photos of your adventures, of your outfit choices in the morning, of the random shit you found in the shops… it makes him feel just a little less alone. And he’ll try to do the same, even if the photos are always weirdly out of focus. He does better at the random voice notes he’ll send to you — now those, those make you feel more at home. It’s usually just some random thing he’s been thinking of — maybe it’s a random verse he’s been noodling at, maybe it’s an idea for some new too-expensive project, maybe it’s just some random thought that won’t leave him alone. But they mean a lot.

Other than that, he does fairly decent at distracting himself — if there was any time for a good-old friender-bender, it’s now.

5/10, Pickles is doing his damndest to keep him away from the tequila.

Pickles the Drummer

He’s been preparing for this day from the moment you put it on the calendar. He just knows he’s going to be horrific, going to spin himself in circles, going to chew his own arm off, and—

He’s actually fine. He thought he was going to be shaking like a chihuahua in your absence, but all things considered, he’s actually pretty damn okay! I mean yeah, he looks forward to your call at night, and he gets a bit sad if you ever have to miss it, but he’s not basing his entire day around the void your absence has made. Part of that comes from the photos you send throughout the day — he knows you haven’t just fucked off and abandoned him, which honestly, was his biggest worry. The other half of his nonchalance comes with his lifestyle. I wouldn’t say he’s drinking more now that you’re gone, but also… he’s bored. He’s not drinking himself to death, mind you, it’s just… Pickles.

He for sure gets a bit sappier when he’s really under the influence — he will be showing photos of your adventures to anyone who will listen. And to anyone who won’t. He’s glad you’re having a good time, genuinely.

Might as well go on a good old friender-bender while he has the time, though.

9/10, surprisingly normal, but someone should really look into his liver — how it hasn’t shut down by now is anyone’s guess.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

When its time for your trip, he thinks he’s gonna do great in your absence. Love you to death, but it’ll be nice to play guitar in the middle of the night again without having to worry about waking you up. And he can finally watch that horror movie you said he’d hate because for some reason you’re convinced that he hates them. Oh! And he can finally try his hand at drinking Nathan under the table again, and—

He has a whole list of stupid shit planned out, and he doesn’t even make it an hour before he’s smacked with a very crushing loneliness. He finds himself turning to murmur to you, only to have your usual space just… empty.

The weight of your absence is stunning, and he refuses to admit how much he misses you. But you can take a guess, with how much he draws out your midnight phonecalls. And really, its hard to keep up the dirty talk for that long without getting cliche— how about you just tell him about your day?

4/10, emotionally constipated Swedish man ends up in ER with repetitive strain injuries to the fingers and wrist, more news at 10:00.

Toki Wartooth

Toki considers himself to be fairly adaptable. I mean sure, he misses you half to death, but he can function without you. Plus, he always has his memory boxes and scrapbooks for when he’s particularly longing, and he always has the ability to call!

By which I mean, he’s calling you almost any chance he gets. But to be fair, that’s not too much different from when you’re at home — he just likes to talk to you. He keeps you updated on all of the shenanigans at Mordhaus, so you never really feel too far from home. But now that you’re off on your own adventure, he wants to hear all about it! Please send him photos!

Genuinely, he does great at surviving without you. That is, until it comes time to sleep — he didn’t realize how good you were at keeping the nightmares at bay. Expect a slightly longer call at night — he probably won’t tell you about the nightmares, but he does get a bit whinier about you coming home.

8/10, surprisingly adaptable, but please bring him a trinket. No, it does not matter that he could buy every item in the country thrice over — he would still like a little trinket.

William Murderface

He does not miss you, he’s just buying a casket and writing his will because it’s a fun, Tuesday activity.

Okay, he’s lying, he misses you so fucking much it’s unreal. It just feels weird to, you know, say it like that. He’d be calling you 24/7 if you weren’t out and about, living your life. So instead, he texts. There’s no obligation to respond immediately, mind you… but a few updates here and there would be deeply appreciated.

He tries his absolute best to distract himself while you’re gone — maybe Planet Piss will finally get it’s first EP down (false) — with varying success. His chief method of distraction comes to hanging out with the band… and the boys are texting you by the end of the week to please come home, because they’re having to beat him off with a stick. He’s also weirdly agitated with everyone but you, which certainly doesn’t help matters… but on the phone, he’s just as soft as could be.

3/10, he’s going to chew his own leg off at this rate. Someone save him, please.

[anothertransauthor]

heyy so nice to see a new author in the mtl tag ♡ ～('▽^人)

how good are the boys at dancing? from best to worst

would they agree to dance with their s/o? when and where?

(I'd love if you added charles too if that isn't too many people heh)

Hi I love asks like these!!! I’m happy to be in the mtl tag! I haven’t felt so compelled to write since undertale (that’s a LONG TIME!!!)

Oh guys you better hold onto your pants because I have a fucking tierlist for all the characters coming up!

Anyways onto the dancing!

If you’re looking for a nice night on the town, you better ask Pickles or Charles! Not only do they know the best spots in town (though drastically different for the both of them) they will absolutely show you off! Pickles I feel like would love to dance in general, it’s the liquid courage in his veins. Someone should have taken him to prom, this man can boogie down in a rusty club. He likes to go with the flow and if that’s the kind of night you’re looking for then have a few drinks with pickles!

However if you want a more put together date, then Charles is your man. Fancy rides, expensive dinners, futuristic clubs. He’s watching your every move as you dance, he could make your silhouette out in a crowd instantly. Watch him if he drinks with you, he will get silly. If you like secretly perverted dorks, then take Charles dancing. That man knows how to move.

Skwisgaar would take some major convincing. But when you finally convinced him to take you dancing you didn’t expect what him to be so sensual. Who are you kidding of course you did, but that didn’t stop the shivers from running down your spine anytime he touched you…his hands smoothly covering your hips just so he could hook his thumbs into your belt loops and pull you right where he wanted you… he looked at you like you were the only one on the dance floor, something unspoken behind his eyes—

What was I talking about again-? it would most likely be a while before you could convince him to go out like that again-

Those other goobers are not grooving! 👎👎👎👎

Nathan poor fella can’t carry a rhythm to save his life. The most he could do for you was a slow dance in his room, even then he’d be a little hesitant. Mushy love songs definitely were not brutal. But you liked them…he could pretend for a few minutes just to see you smile.

Toki the lad tries, but I imagine he looks like the freestyle dance teacher! ʰᵉˢ ᶜʳⁱᵉᵈ ᵐᵃⁿ ᵗⁱᵐᵉˢ ᶠᵒʳ ˢᵗᵉᵖᵖⁱⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ YOUR ˢʰᵒᵉˢ ᵃⁿᵈ/ᵒʳ ᵗᵒᵉˢ.

The two of you were just fine singing the songs to your hearts content instead!

Murderface straight up refuses. He knows he can’t dance and can’t stand to make a fool of himself around you. The most you’ve ever gotten was a head bop or a foot tap…if you were lucky BOTH!! It’s a shame he’s so stubborn, he’s definitely caught you in the act of dancing around when you thought you were alone, but you looked great when you did it!

[nastymensimp]

Fictional characters I expect to be in my room the morning of my birthday but it’s obvious I’m mentally ill:

Lester Sinclair( the absolute light of my life)

Thomas brown Hewitt/leatherface( heavy on this one)

Stefano valentini

Eddie gluskin

Junkrat

Sigma

Nemesis

Literally every decepticon

Montgomery Gator

Every la squadra member

Charles foster offdensen

[livingdeadmlm]

Photos with Dethklok 6/31

Pronouns: none use but its acknowledged reader is male or at least male presenting

Physical Sex: any!

How far are things going?: no more is mentioned then jerking off

Warnings: no murderface idc idc!. slight stalker-ish behavior to celebrities, some delusion on the reader's end, mentions of sex, and jerking off, slightly out of character cause this is self-indulgent.

What inspired me to write how I did: Dinner in America! the clip of it being revailed he is John Q and got off on the photos she sen made me so giddy I had to do something.

Outline: going through fanmail took forever, but when each band member plus Charles starts getting unique letters from a very passionate fan, they start to become obsessed with them and look forward to the photos and exciting letters.

Fan mail swarmed like a tidal wave, resulting from the men's highly sustained fame. The sheer volume of letters became an overwhelming mess to sort through each night. Large black bags filled to the brim sat in the center of the living room, and the bandmates typically gathered around, reading the letters aloud and bursting into laughter at the outrageous messages sent by countless fans. Women beg for a chance, and men send mixtapes of "The Next Big Thing." The occasional fan art came, though, which had its pile if the men liked their portrayal.

Recently, though, one member began to behave differently. He would quickly scan the bags with his name on them, his heart racing as he tucked one special letter under his arm or slipped it into his shirt before darting away. The lively laughter of his bandmates faded into the background, and he found himself alone with the red letter, his hands trembling as he held the damp, thick crimson paper. The first letter of yours he had opened was a nice surprise. A pleasant sent from the paper letter would fill the air, and the neat handwriting was palatable and easy to read, unlike the forced chicken scratch that often came through.

Toki

Toki tucked the red envelope into his shirt and mumbled that he had forgotten something in his room, his boots thudding against the stone and carpeted floor. He knew full well who his letter was from, which sent a jolt into his stomach. He always looked forward to your letters, and the fresh and woodsy smell of the letter sent a chill down his spine. He knew there was no way you were a woman with such perfume, but he had long gotten used to that idea as a small polaroid fell onto the floor next to his boot. Panicked, he grabbed the photo and ran into his room, slamming the door behind himself.

Reading your letter, he felt like he was on fire.

Good afternoon, Mr. Wartooth.

I hope all of my letters have reached you in perfect condition. I would be disappointed if any photos I sent were bent or damaged in the post office. Although you have never replied, you enjoy my letters. No one at my office believes I enjoy your music, as I rarely discuss my interests. However, nothing quite makes me smile like your performances. Watching you lose yourself on stage, I can't help but imagine pampering you every night, giving you massages to help relieve any soreness.

Your letters detailed how much you'd care for him in every way. He felt flushed as he finally turned the Polaroid over. Your satin black button-up reflected in the fluorescent light of what he assumed was your office.

Toki's hand mirrored yours in the photo, and he couldn't take his eyes off it. This was the fifth image you had sent of yourself, starkly contrasting to your earlier pictures of model planes that only showed your lap or hand. He imagined you in a closed-off office, cold and severe at work and home, dedicated to pleasing him. After concerts, you would take him in your arms, brushing his hair and giving him the kind of attention he had never received from a man before.

Nathan

Nathan cleared his throat loudly, struggling to find an excuse to leave. He simply yelled "restroom" as he exited the living room. The dark red envelope carried a scent of cloves and cinnamon, making his mouth water. His large hands nearly tore the envelope apart in his eagerness.

The first thing he looked at was the Polaroid. Your tongue piercing is a dark red ball matching the septum ring you had. He couldn't take his eyes off the sight of your shiny, soft-looking lips.

It was a top-down shot of you in a black pair of boxers and shirtless. His throat was dry seeing the nipple rings you detailed getting in your last letter when they were fresh and healing. The photo cut off around your eyes. He kept a small box with the pictures you'd sent him anytime he wanted something to jerk his drooling cock too.

He had plenty of groupies who'd give him their social security numbers so he could even look at them. But you, well, he had no clue who you were; he didn't understand the effort you put into these photos, but by God, did he hold them close. At every show, he tries to find you in the crowd. The man who's been mailing him Polaroids for months of himself in compromising positions.

It was like a big tease; you were throwing yourself at him, but he couldn't touch you. He couldn't feel the cool metal of your nipple rings against his tongue, feel the ball of your piercing against his cockhead. And it drives him crazy.

Hey Nathan

Just wanted to give an update to my body mods :P They hurt like a bitch, but it's worth it to imagine how good it's gonna feel tugging on them soon enough. I was told half a year, but I couldn't help but feel them up last meet and greet. What a thrill to be so close, and you had no clue, or maybe you did. Something tells me you didn't, seeing as you stared at my tongue-piercing and didn't say a word. Maybe next time, I'll roll up shirtless and give you an up-close look.

Skwisgaar

Skwisgaar slipped away from the group, not needing to say an excuse, hiding behind his usual disinterested demeanor. He carefully opened the red envelope; he had a collection going and wanted to keep it in excellent condition. The smell of deep florals and pine-filled his senses, making it hard to get on the spot, as the familiar smell did.

He has plenty of letters and nude photos from fans, but yours was a tease. He didn't see any skin from you. Just you speaking like he's a pen pal. Your Polaroids were just you in traditional feminine clothing in your home, writing about your cleaning tips and cooking ideas like a housewife from 1950.

Your letter about making a pie for Christmas included a photo of you holding a beautiful pie in a red velvety square-neckline dress, frilly red apron, and white oven mitts. Your face was cut off at the lips, where he noticed a deep red color. It was now June, and that photo still popped into his mind as something that would take him over the edge.

He'd find a few women dressed as you did, but it never scratched the itch properly. There was no build-up with fans he met with. Seeing your chest in the square neckline was the most you'd given him since mailing him letters over a year ago.

Happy holidays, Skwisgaar!

I'm working on a new way to make apple pies. I heard soaking the apples helps them not shrink, and it's worked! The pie came out very full, and the apples didn't shrink. It should be a much more filling pie. I'm in charge of the main dish and dessert at my next holiday party; I'm thinking of a roasted chicken but more like pollo asado. I'll send photos if I make that! Do you all get fed well over there for the holidays? I would like to mail my famous mashed potatoes recipe! It goes with anything.

Pickles

Pickles hid his letter inside his dark grey shirt. The corners of the envelope poked his stomach, and he pretended to have a hangover as he stumbled away. He softly hissed as the letter jabbed him on his way to his room.

Finally landing on his bed, he tore the note open, holding a piece up and taking a deep inhale of the black leather sent with a woody undertone to it. You had two polaroids within the envelope. One he turned to look at immediately to see a photo of your shirtless bulge clear through your jock strap.

Pickels bit at his lips as he eagerly began to read the letter you had left him.

Hey Pickles,

My workouts have been pushing me, and I'm seeing impressive changes in my physique. One of my ultimate goals is to become a Klokateer. Picture this: You'd have a man twice your size doing anything you want. I'd be at your beck and call 24/7. Just imagine feeling my biceps—they're growing so much that they might be twice the size of your head. A big buff guy, you get to boss around. Sounds like a dream job for me.

I can't resist the idea of you bossing me around because you like it. Do you feel the same way? We'll find out if I make it in.

Pickles peaked at the other Polaroid. Seeing it being a photo of you flexing your large arms and pecs on display, he desired he could get his hands on them. It was no secret that Pickles was the smallest in the group; the concept of such a large man being willing and wanting him to take command and dominate him made Pickles throb.

Charles

"Aw, mans, what the shits! Charles this is yous letter nots mines!" Toki held out the red envelope to Charles. Charles tucked the letter into his suit pocket, offering to order food for the band to keep them from asking too many questions. Hook, line, and sinker, they fell for it. After leaving to make the phone call, he walked down the hallway to his office, only opening the letter once he was seated in his desk chair with the blinds drawn.

Pulling his chair into his desk, Charles used a letter opener to cut through the thick paper. The tear was silent as it released the smell of vanilla and musk. He had already found the colone you were using on the internet and gotten a bottle for himself, but nothing compared to how it came in the letter. He inhaled the smell, and Charles accidentally placebo himself when it came to the scent, so he had almost immodestly popped a boner.

He groaned at the stiffness, pants feeling so tight because he knew what was to come. Unfolding the letter, three photos fell out as he focused on your written word.

Hello Mr. Offdensen,

I may not know how many letters you receive, but I can't help but express my admiration for you. You are a true hidden gem in the band. An undeniable spark ignites within me when you spring into action whenever things go awry. Watching you in the background during interviews or events is like witnessing a masterpiece unfold. Your presence adds a sense of order to their work. I worked at a venue where they performed, and I had to take many breaks after you spoke to me about the arrangements. I couldn't stop thinking about how desperately I wanted to give you a break and any release. I imagine a man like yourself comes home and wants to be taken care of, and I can do that, Charles; if you need me bent over a desk or tied down, exhaust it out of you. Have my address. <3

Charles did well enough to keep his private life private. Still, after getting a taste of it, he allowed himself to act out of character and fantasize about it. When he checked the clear photos you sent, he discovered your offer was very literal. He picked up the one printed image, and it was just as you had offered, bent over a desk, pants undone but not pulled down fully; your hands seemed to be bound together, but your head was against the desk.

One Polaroid was a picture of a few toys you had, all matching the aesthetic of your room he could see in the background. The third photo was your hand covering your sex in a deep red pair of lingerie, your mouth slightly opened. Pulling a manila file from his desk drawer, dumping the remaining photos out to take a quick peek at the growing collection he now had. he hummed, gathering them together to spend more time with later in the night.

[deadface-abominate]

Dethklok+Charles Catching You Dancing

Suggested by @strangekindaerin

Warnings: Weird song choices

Nathan:

Nathan is hanging out with you in your apartment

He’s eating chips on the couch, waiting for you to finish up some chores so you can watch a movie with him

He can hear a small noise coming from your kitchen. It sounds a little like your voice. He goes to investigate

He’s thinking you might’ve gone insane and started talking to yourself, but he finds that you’re actually just singing quietly to yourself, headphones on and hips swaying as you wash a few dishes

The vision of your ass shaking side to side is pretty hot, but he’s really entranced by your voice

You don’t notice him approaching, the chorus of Lose Yourself To Dance by Daft Punk flowing into your ears and out of your mouth

He taps you on the shoulder, making you jump

“Dammit, Nathan! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“That song isn’t brutal,” he tells you, as if you asked

…

“Your voice is nice though…” he mumbles. You smile at him, your anger gone

“Thanks, Nate. Wait for me in the living room, I’ll be done in a minute,” he does as he’s told without a word, but he can’t get the image of you singing and dancing out of his head

When you finally join him, he’s completely lost interest in the idea of watching a movie

“Could you, um, keep singing that song?” He feels a little pathetic asking. The song wasn’t his favorite, but the sound of your voice was irresistible to him

Your eyes go a little wide. “Oh! Sure, but only if you dance with me,” you extend a hand out. He hesitates, but accepts it and stands up from the couch

The two of you sway and swing around your small living room, Nathan allowing you to expose him to this “girl music” just this once. He’ll be sure to put on something nice and heavy for the next song

Pickles

Pickles stumbles back to his room after another wild night of drinking

You had been out with him, but he lost you somewhere along the way. He gave up on looking for you after awhile and decided it was time for bed

He hears some loud pop song playing in his room through the closed door. He cringes at the sound of it

He finds you behind the door, busting it down to Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland. You don’t seem to notice him over the music

He flashes his crooked grin. The song is awful, but seeing you drop that ass down to the floor is an amazing sight

He can’t resist grabbing your shaking ass as you’re dipping to the floor

“Pickles! Babe!” You spin around and give him a big, sloppy kiss on the lips. “Where’d ya disappear to?” 

He chuckles. “You’re the one that ran off. What’s with this terrible music?” 

He knew it wasn’t a song you would listen to sober, so you must be even more hammered than he is

“Dunno, it just kinda felt right,” you do a somersault towards the door, landing in a half split since you can’t quite stretch all the way out. You can’t do tricks like this when your sober mind reminds you that you can hurt yourself

Pickles is so impressed (and turned on) that he’s no longer bothered by the trashy music in the background

“Hey, come over here,” he sits on the side of his bed, patting his lap, clearly requesting a lap dance

You comply, moonwalking over to him and straddling his lap, grinding and thrusting into him

When the song ends, he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you down as he falls back onto the bed

You rest your forehead on his for a minute, staring into each other’s eyes. He kisses you deeply and rolls you onto your back. He was planning to sleep off the booze, but he has a better idea now

Murderface

The boys are supposed to meet you at a strip club this afternoon. The meeting place was, amazingly, your idea

Murderface decided to head to the club a little early. He told the band he wasn’t going to waste time with them that could be spent watching hot sluts. Truth is, he just wants to get some time with you before the others show up and hog you

The sound of 3 by Britney Spears is blasting through the club and can be heard from the outside

To his delight, when he enters, he sees the hottest slut of all twirling around the pole; you

Turns out you got the time wrong and showed up an hour early, but you made friends with the dancers and they brought you on stage for a dance lesson. The club was empty at this hour anyway, so why not have some fun?

“You gotta squeeze your thighs together reeeal tight,” one of the dancers shows you how to hang from the pole without your hands. She climbs halfway up the pole and flexes her thigh muscles into the pole, leaning back

You try the same, but it only takes a few seconds for your muscles to give out. You fall to the stage, bruising your ass

“It’s okay, sweetie. No one gets it the first try,” another dancer helps you to your feet. That’s when you see Murderface, standing in the door looking dumbfounded 

“Will! You’re early! I was just hanging out with the girls. Look what they taught me!” You snake up the pole and lock your ankles at the top, hanging upside down. You stay in place for about ten seconds before you slowly slide to the floor, hitting your head with an “oof”

“That’s fuckin’ awesome! He shouts, running up to the stage. It was only mildly awesome, but the fact that it was you doing it made it 100x more awesome

“Ready to try the next move again?” The first dancer asks

“This one’s for you, Will!” You dramatically point at him and jump up the pole, clenching your thighs with all your force and leaning back. Murderface starts throwing singles at you to help you get into the stripper mindset

It seems to help, because you make it an entire 15 seconds before dropping again

Murderface claps for you. “That was perfect, y/n! Keep practicing and you’ll be a pro stripper in no time,” you weren’t exactly planning on turning this into a regular thing, but he really wants to see you do this more often

“We were gonna give her some lap dance tips next,” a dancer says

“Right! I was gonna practice on an empty chair, but I guess I can use Will as my test dummy instead!” You grin at him and jump off the stage and onto his shoulders

His head goes foggy. There’s no way this is happening. He doesn’t get this lucky. He has to be dreaming. He’s so excited that he doesn’t hear the dancers in the back wondering if you really want to use him for your practice

Just as he’s about to park his ass on a chair, ready to live out his wildest fantasy, the rest of the band walks through the club door

His face drops. Why did these assholes have to walk in now?

“Y/n, what the hells is goings on?” Skwisgaar asks, seeing your legs locked around Murderface’s neck

“I was just practicing my dancing,” you release yourself from his body, going to greet the boys

“We’ll pick this back up later,” you whisper into his ear as you walk past him. His mood picks back up, his heart races, his palms sweat. He can’t wait to get you alone again

He might invest in getting a stripper pole put in his room

Skwisgaar

Skwisgaar is not having a good night

Once again, he got dragged to some shitty venue to deal with one of his band mate’s half baked schemes. He couldn’t even remember what the plan was or who came up with it. He just knew that this band was playing some garbage nu metal cover of Lady Gaga’s Poker Face, of all songs

The crowd was full of losers, the beer was watered down, the air was musty

Simply put, he was too good to be here

The worst part was that even though he had taken you along to keep him sane, he lost you in the crowd at some point. Now he had to wallow in misery alone

He’s about to step out for fresh air, when he finally spots your face again for the first time in almost an hour

You’re in the club’s lame excuse for a mosh pit, headbanging with some random dudes he had never seen before

He can’t believe he’s seeing you enjoying yourself here, dancing to this song. Have you officially lost your mind?

He pushes through the crowd, zeroing in on you to grab your wrist and drag you out

“Skwis, what the fuck—“ you groan as he pulls you out

“You was supposeds to be hangings out with me tonights! Why’d you runs off?” He pauses. “Hows can you be enjoyings this songs?”

“I’m not. It’s fucking awful. I can’t think of a song that needs a nu metal cover less than this one,” you glance at the stage for a second, still baffled by this no name band and their artistic choices. “But I’d rather have some fun than waste a night being miserable. And, you can’t hear the song as well when you’re in the middle of a crowd of loud assholes.”

“Stills, you shouldn’ts have lefts me,” he pouts. You hold back an eye roll. He could be so spoiled sometimes. 

“Alright, sorry. But I knew you were just gonna be hanging out in a corner looking annoyed the whole time, so I tried to make the night enjoyable for myself,” you hold a hand out to him. “Come back to the pit with me, we can still salvage some of this night”

He frowns at your hand. “I don’t wants to,” he lies. He would love to dance with you, but he’s too stubborn to admit that this evening could possibly have any good come of it

“Yes you do,” you see right through him. This time, you’re the one dragging him by the wrist, back into the sea of sweaty drunks

He stays mostly still as you dance explicitly around his body, but as long as he can watch you dirty dance all night, he can enjoy the rest of his shitty evening

Toki

Toki bought some snacks he wanted to share with you, so he headed to your apartment 

The two of you have the kind of relationship where he can show up unannounced, and he has his own key to your place

He knocks out of courtesy, but when you don’t answer, he lets himself in

“Y/n, I broughts snacks!” He calls to you as he enters your living room, but you still don’t answer. He hears music coming from your room

He opens the door to your room to find you dancing joyfully to Die Young by Ke$ha. The sound of your door opening startles you into stopping. You’re about to freak out at the intruder when you realize it’s just Toki

“Jesus, Toki! I thought someone broke in!” You scold him, but go to give him a hug. The comforting feeling of his surprisingly strong arms around you makes your heart rate go back down

“Y/n, this songs ams really bad. Buts you looks so cute whens you dance!” Toki releases you

“I know, I know. It isn’t the kind of thing you listen to, but I’ve been wanting to get better at dancing, and no offense, but Dethklok isn’t exactly danceable music,” Toki smiles at you

“You is learnings to dance?! I wants to learns with you!” This man is way too sweet. You love the idea of learning to dance alongside Toki

The two of you will meet up in your apartment twice a week to practice together. Neither of you are very good, but you both have so much fun that you don’t even care

You eventually sign up for dance classes together. The guys tease both of you over it. You brush off their comments

You even start noticing that there’s more technique to Toki’s headbanging at their concerts

He secretly starts fantasizing about the two of you getting married and blowing everyone away with how flawless your first dance is at your wedding

Charles

You’re in Charles’s room, reorganizing some stuff as you wait for him to be done with work for the day (he’s never really done, but he’s gotta sleep eventually)

He didn’t ask you to rearrange his room, but it was something you started doing to cure boredom

You turn on some music to make the tasks more fun, blasting Pallbearer’s cover of Love You to Death

At first, you just hum along with it, but you soon start swaying your hips and doing the occasional twirl as you move around the room

Charles managed to finish up a little earlier than usual. He rushed straight to his room, knowing you would be there and he could finally relax in your presence

He opens the door and finds you waltzing around. You don’t notice him, so he decides to watch for awhile

His expression lightens up, his shoulders relax, and he puts on a rare smile. No matter how stressful his day is, coming back to see you doing something stupid or weird would always lift the weight from his shoulders

He quietly closed the door behind him, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. You jolt a little, but realize almost immediately it’s him

“You’re done early,” you say in a soft voice. You try to turn around to kiss him, but he keeps his grip on your waist

“Shh, keep dancing,” he whispers, leaving a kiss on the side of your neck. He lets you go so you can keep moving while he changes into more comfortable clothes

He just sits on his bed and watches you move your body to the soft song. He almost never gets to hear music this slow and soothing. The music and gentle movements of your body put him in a dreamlike state

You notice his eyelids getting heavy and turn off the music. You go to stand in front of him to rub his shoulders and give him a kiss on the top of his head

You force him to lie down and wiggle in next to him. You sling one arm over his chest and run your fingers through his hair with the other

He’s out much faster than he normally would be. You silently pledge to dance for him more often if it will help him decompress

Keep the requests coming!! I should I add I'll only write for Dethklok and Charles

[teamgalacticcyrus]

And lastly. Here’s AI Charles telling you that you in fact, do *not* need any “hammer time.”

[tilldeathripsusapart]

Hello!! I’ve decided to pick up writing again and Dethklok has me by the throat.

So i’m opening up my requests!!

I’ll write anything from Band member x band member, to xReader. I am aware some people headcannon pickles as a trans male so if you do make sure to specify that and I’ll make sure to include it :D

Ships i write for are

Nathan x Pickles

Toki x Skwisgaar (personal fav)

Nathan x Charles

William x Pickles

If you have other ships let me know and i’ll happily write something up for you!!

[theforbidfruit]

Not me procrastinating with one fandom

TO ANOTHER

I feel like I’m cheating on them behind their backs

[rockclownsdococaine]

I'm back!!

I just got buttfucked by life six ways from sunday

I'm gonna try and write again!! Would yall want me to do that Nathan x reader thing i had cooking or would you rather something else? I had an idea for Pickles or Toki x reader :]