#characters who for all intents and purposes comes off as your average living creature but its the circumstances of how they came to be

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Iam looking at your phoenixverse laxus design with both eyes OPEN 👁👁 but now im so curiojz as to what else the phoenixverse has to offer. PLEASE tell me youve got any headcanons about how zeref refived natsu. Like any thoughts at all on that?

Ohohohohohohohohohoho anon my guy my dude, my man (genderless) I am about to speak. Pull up a fuckin chair bro. Also puttin this under read more because uh, long lol

This is actually one of my favourite things to think about regarding Natsu (apart from yknow, END lol) and Zeref because it is such an interesting little story point.

For Natsu, the interest comes from the fact that he's not who he thought he was. Natsu's always confident about his identity, he's quick to announce who and what he is in a situation and he's proud of who he is. The knowledge that yeah sure, you are Natsu Dragneel, but uh Natsu's not who you think he is buddy- that Natsu, in some way died so many centuries ago but was pulled back and reshaped, reborn- repackaged even- into you in a body that you thought was human but is some almagamation of that and more? All tied to a book? Can he still say with confidence that he is Natsu Dragneel when he hardly knew the truths about himself? And if sayin that is even true when he could easily just be something molded to look like what Zeref lost? (Ofc we the readers know otherwise but imagine the dilemna man) The reality of it would've- should've- been earth shattering. It would've been an identity crisis and then some.

For Zeref, oh man. Zeref's whole thing stems from the fact that he loves Natsu. He loves Natsu so much (and his parents too i guess) that when the tragedy struck and he lost everything, it fucked him up. He just couldn't deal with the incredibly unfair hand that life dealt him that he was willing to turn the world on its head and essentially change the course of fioran history to try and undo what happened to him. To save something from his old life that he loved.

But heres the thing about Zeref's love. It's twisted. It's fucked up. It's dark.

Working years, decades- possibly even centuries- on the single minded task of reviving his brother (and why just Natsu? Why not the parents well? Why only the younger sibling? Did he intend to bring them all back but became single minded on just his brother?) could lead to obsession. Obsession with making him perfect, no longer just as a human but more than that. Stronger so he won't be killed as easily. Obsession with keeping him close, tying him to his soul in such a way that if Zeref goes, Natsu goes as well. Making sure that he's pulling the strings that when it comes to, when he finally closes his eyes at the hands of his brother, he has a comfort in knowing that his brother is going with him and he won't be left alone, like what his very first tragedy did to him. (Plus also making Natsu, his creation that he brought to life, kill him would be a back stab at Ankhserham. Because the god cursed him for fucking around with life and death, so having his demon kill him would be Zeref controlling the life he chose to create and determining his own death. It'd be a last gotcha).

Zeref may have loved Natsu enough to bring him back, and he still loves him in a way, but it's messed up. Because the whole ordeal of everything messed him up.

But I digress, this is just side stuff, your question really. How did Zeref really bring Natsu back?

Now since you asked specifically for phoenixverse, i can get a lil bit loose with canon details and not feel as restricted.

So we have our hard facts- Natsu and Parents die in Zeref's youth, Zeref fucks around tryna undo their deaths and finds out by getting cursed for doing this, then proceeds to use the curse to his advantage and over an undisclosed amount of time to create his demons and what not.

'Undisclosed amount of time' being the key thing here.

Canon implies that the time between Natsu's death, Zeref getting cursed and Zeref reviving Natsu happened within a relatively close period of time. And if it's anything I love, it's spacing out events.

I'd like to think that between the loss of his family and when he gets cursed is a decent gap of time, like a decade or so to really push the fact that he's so fixated on the loss. Then after getting the curse he sets to work of reviving Natsu over the course of decades to almost a century and a half.

(Am i implying Zeref to be a bit older than the 400 years? Yes, yes i am. The way I saw it the events of 400yrs past were inciting incidents i.e Zeref giving Natsu to Igneel, slayers gettin sent to the future, and not the actually set date where everything happened. And again, I like the idea of Zeref fixating on this for a very long time. Him being older drives home the single-mindedness and determination to get it done)

As prodigious as Zeref is, creating life and being the first wizard to do so, i don't think he could do it so easily within a few short years which is why i personally love the idea of Zeref taking so long to be able to revive Natsu. A touch of realism to something magical kinda grounds it in a way, gives it some weight at the very least.

Specifically Natsu being Zeref's final project ever and all the other demons he created over the years prior being experiments and steps taken to perfect the process so Natsu would be the culmination of all that he learnt (demons like deliora and lullaby being demons of inorganic matter given humanoid form-> tartarus- esque demons being humanoid demons with animalistic features (organic matter) -> Natsu, human demon and hybrid traits all working together in cohesion).

And speaking of a touch of realism, or sorta realism anyways, riddle me this.

Zeref needs something to make Natsu well, Natsu. Sure he could probs make a demon that looks like him, but thats not what he wants. He wants his actual brother so, what could he get to add into the mixture to really do that? Why a few samples of course :].

But Phoenix! I hear you cry, how could he have gotten samples if you said in your version that it took him forever to finally revive Natsu?

And so leads into the actual true definitive answer to your question anon.

Zeref, in needing the most important ingredient in the Natsu stew took things from the OG body to help build the new one. But! The kicker here is the samples I imagine him using aren't blood but instead, bone.

Maybe he realizes a decade or 2 down the line in his demon experiments that he missed a step in what he needs to see this through. Maybe he thinks he's too late because what can he do now at that point. Maybe he realizes that he can use not flesh and blood, but what remains for his plan. Maybe he commits another sin in the hopes of it bringing for another and digs up his young brother's bones. Maybe he whittles them down piece by precious piece over the long period of time after failing so many times (am i also implying failed Natsus? Failed ENDs? Hell yeah i am) and coming dangerously close to it all ending for naught, with the last shard of bone. And maybe after so long and so many atrocities, he finally succeeded?

TL:DR Zeref snagged OG Natsu's bones and used those to help in the process of quite literally rebuilding him from scratch to give us our Natsu.

I dunno man, it just adds a layer of fucked up-ness to the whole situation of how far Zeref was willing to go- even defiling his brother's bones to get him back.

And on Natsu's side learning about all this would just twist the knife of his identity crisis even deeper (especially on that implication of failed END attempts before him).

Also like, by stretching out the time of events and making Natsu being the very last demon Zeref ever made bring so much for layers of meaning to the name END in itself.

END, being the literal meaning 'Etherious Natsu Dragneel'

END, signalling the last demon Zeref's made. An end to his experimentations.

END, as in the last and perfected version of his brother, with the last remains of OG Natsu's bones going towards his creation.

And END, as in Zeref's end, where he intends for Natsu to kill him thus ending his life.

[carringtonblackwood]

Reichenbach ||Carrington & Alain

When: current, after Alain thought he would die.

Where: Hanging Rock, evening

Who: Carrington and @carbrakes-and-stakes; mentions of @likeamattoutofhell

Alain confronts Carrington about the Twilight cutouts at Hanging Rock. Things take a wrong turn.

Content Warning: blood, character injury, violence

There was a unique feeling that came with knowing you were either about to take a person’s life, or die trying. Carrington didn’t like killing. Not in the way some did. He didn’t relish the feeling of putting his sword through a living, breathing creature. Of taking a life that mattered to someone, somewhere. But so did the lives of all the ones they had killed. ‘They’ being Slayers, Hunters, Wardens. Bounty Hunters. All killing for money, for sport, or because they believed it was their duty. Their calling. Their family legacy. 

Some legacy. 

Carrington knew he was no better than they were. Not really. He killed because of what they were, even if he did his best only to kill the truly terrible ones. The ones that had no attachments. No families. No children. Family legacy or not, Carrington didn’t kill children. Or take their parents from them. That would only breed more hatred if those children found out it was a vampire that had done so. So he would take his chances that those children might not grow up to be like their parents. Even though more often than not, they did. 

Case in point, the Slayer he was waiting on tonight. The one that was apparently already after Carrington’s head. He’d only gotten one decent look at the man Matty had described. And only a vague impression of his scent. So when it drifted towards him again, Carrington continued to look out at the sea from where he sat on one of the park’s benches. Hyperaware of his surroundings despite his stillness. 

When the sound of soft footsteps reached his ears, Carrington let out a small, purposeful breath. “Bit late for a walk, isn’t it?” It really wasn’t, but they were hardly here for small talk. 

“Right.” Alain was expected here. Well, now he knew why he was left with a bitter taste in his mouth after Matty had left his garage : the taste of betrayal. Was he surprised ? Not exactly. Dave would hear about it, for sure. As for Matty, he would have to make sure he does not put anyone else in danger. “I did not come here to have a conversation or knit a goddamn jumper,” as his tone and outfit suggested. Clearly stealth was not really his prime concern for the night. You did not wander around an empty park with a sword hanging by your side, unless you had some weird choices of hobbies. He used to be a lot smoother when he was younger, but he now tried to be efficient instead. He could take a few hits, so why not do that instead. Alain, his hand on the handle of his sword, drew it out and contemplated the vampire sitting a few metres away. Surely his first hit would not be successful, still the slayer confidently shifted on his feet and swung his sword through the air, the blade piercing through the silence and getting closer to the creature's neck. 

Carrington figured it wouldn’t take long for the slayer to realize he’d been sold out by his contact. Not that it really mattered. In a few minutes, there would either be one less slayer or one less vampire in White Crest. And as much as he was placing the odds slightly in his favor, Carrington wasn’t naive enough to think that he was unkillable. That was part of the reason he was still alive today. He wondered if the same was true for the man standing in his peripheral. A slayer that seemed beyond the average years of his kin. But the sound of a sword being drawn put an end to any errant thoughts on Carrington’s part. Right to business then. There was a moment of stillness, and then a surge of practiced movement as the slayer made his first move. Carrington moved as well, vacating the bench in a blur of motion, his own weapon drawn and arching with deadly intent towards the slayer’s sword arm. 

There were only two kinds of fights, the kinds that only existed to make it clear to others that you were not one to be fucked with, and the others, real fights. While the first kinds were usually made to impress, and tended to last longer, real fights were fast, hard, and always ended with death. “So you really do own a fucking katana,” Alain held back a chuckle although he did have shit-eating grin smile plastered on his face as he threw himself forward to counter the vampire’s attack. The swords collided in a scratching sound. The cliffs weren’t far. He would have to be careful with that. His feet moved fast, never still. Once more, the slayer pushed forward swinging him with a number of attacks. The first two found the monster’s sword, and the hunter had to stagger back. They both knew what they were doing, but that did not bring any joy to him. He had never cared for fair fights or honor, or even glory. If anything, he was that guy who  threw sand in the opponent's eyes. There was no sand here, and he had better weapons than that. Letting go of the handle of the sword, he drew a hunting knife from his thigh and repositioned himself. It would be harder to avoid that katana, but he would be a lot swifter now. 

Carrington had had his share of both types of fights. The first had never been to impress - Carrington had never felt the need for such things - but for the sole purpose of warning others to leave him be. Because that’s what he truly wanted in the end: to be left alone. But sadly, that had yet to happen. Hence his current situation. Blade met blade with a sound that grated against Carrington’s sensitive ears, but which he ignored, pushing back against the other blade. “Says the man wielding a French antique.” He noted that his own weapon didn’t seem to be any surprise, and wondered if the Slayer had been the only one Matty had double-crossed. The thought took a backseat as the blows came one after the other, hard and fast, each man taking the measure of the other. That measure was one Carrington hadn’t met in a long while. One that might just match his own.  

So when the slayer backed off, Carrington kept his distance, sword at the ready, circling the other man as he changed weapons. A knife meant he planned on getting close. Being more maneuverable. And Carrington didn’t doubt for one moment that the man wouldn’t fight fair if the opportunity presented itself. Carrington did have the advantage of having a solid bit of modern-made armor that covered his chest, stomach, and back. Built mostly to protect his heart from getting staked, it also provided some protection against blades and other weapons. 

Carrington spun the sword, gaze intently focused, before taking a calculated risk and making a move. A lightning-fast slash up and to the left, spin right and slash across the middle, keep turning and another slash upwards and to the right. If he connected, the fight may just be won. If not… well… he would simply have to see. 

“Family heirloom,” he corrected the vampire. A family heirloom he had decided to put away the moment he noticed that he was fighting someone who was skilled just as much as he was with a sword. This could take ages, and while the vampire did not need to catch his breath once in a while, he did. He had more endurance than normal people, and probably than a few hunters too, but it had its limits, and it would not be long before his sword would dull. And if all else failed, the poison coating his weapons would be torture enough to make the vampire wish he had died. All Alain had to do was to touch him, even graze him. And that’s what he would do and if Matty had informed the vampire that the hunter could fight with a sword, he couldn’t have known that he was well trained with just his bare hands or a hunting knife. 

The heel of his left palm flew toward the hand that held the katana -the last thing the hunter wanted was to lose another finger, or his entire hand. He was hoping to catch him off guard. He struck forward with his knife. He aimed for the neck. The vampire moved, and it hit him in the shoulder instead. A disappointment, but also an achievement in itself. It was his first time managing to reach him that way. However, he had gotten closer than he would have liked.

Carrington gave a small huff in reply. Of course it was a family heirloom. Slayers and their ‘family heritage.’ Though they also tended to pass down sociopathic tendencies and an enjoyment of cold-blooded murder. Family idiosyncrasies aside, such a mindset only made slayers more dangerous. They were born dangerous. So Carrington never took his eyes off the man as he changed weapons. The vampire had other weapons as well, but he wasn’t going to reveal them unless necessary. Matty might have turned out to be a snitch, but he didn’t know everything about Carrington. The older vampire had made certain of that. 

So when he struck, he struck hard and fast and precise. Or he would have… if an equally powerful and precise counter-blow from the slayer’s hand hadn’t deflected the path of Carrington’s sword.. putting Carrington’s leading arm right in the path of the slayers’ blade. Thankfully, Carrington was well-versed in protecting the parts of himself that were vital to his survival. His neck and his heart. So even as the blade slashed towards his neck, it found only muscle and bone - and not the targeted arteries and sinew - of Carrington’s shoulder. The blade sank home with a muted ‘thunk,’ only stopping when it scraped bone. Carrington grunted in pain, but never stopped moving. The sword was only hindering him now at such close range, so Carrington dropped it, much as the slayer had his own. 

With one hand on the blade in Carrington’s shoulder, and the other without a weapon, the slayer was - in Carrington’s opinion - currently at a small disadvantage. 

Carrington had both hands free. 

The disadvantage of being so close, however, was that the angle wasn’t quite right. So Carrington’s blow didn’t hold the full force the vampire was capable of. If it had, the fight might have taken a turn. ‘Might’ being the optimal word. But the slayer was stronger than any other slayer Carrington had had the misfortune to meet in the last few decades. So as his fist struck the slayer in the face with a sickening, wet crunch, his other hand - his arm slightly handicapped by the blade stuck deep in his shoulder - swept out hard in an attempt to knock the man away from him. Carrington needed distance… and he needed it now. 

“Putain de merde“ Alain stumbled back. The combination of being punched in the nose and pushed away had sufficed to make him lose his balance. His foot anchored in the ground behind him and he glanced up in panic. He could not lose sight of the fucker, especially not over a bleeding nose. The bone was broken for sure, and the wound stung, vibrated with pain. He did not stand still for long, and started walking carefully. The vampire had no weapons now, neither did he. He was not about to run over to where he had left his own sword. The stake he had in his coat would be completely useless. His best bet was to wait. To survive those next minutes. It would not be long before the vampire would understand what was going on and should he be foolish, stubborn enough to stay after that, then it would be a matter of  seconds before that monster met its fate and  returned to the ground, where it belonged. 

Always the poor liar, Alain could not conceal his amusement. His eyes had lit up, and a smile appeared on blood stained lips. “Don’t tell me this is the best you can do. One good night of sleep and I’ll be as good as new,” probably more than one night actually. Meaning that he would have to avoid Evelyn for a moment. She could not see him like this, although he could easily claim that an upset customer had done this. 

When the slayer stumbled backwards, blood pouring from his broken nose, Carrington also used the opportunity to back away. The man’s blood was of no interest to the vampire, except where it currently stained his hand… searing his skin like holy water. Carrington wiped it across his leg with a faint grimace of discomfort, but otherwise gave no indication it had affected him. Though the smell of charred flesh said otherwise. 

Carrington’s own blood ran slow and thick from the knife wound in his shoulder, and a sharp throb radiated towards his spine with every movement of his arm, however small. The knife itself had been lost somewhere during their struggle, and he couldn’t afford to look for it, or to pick up his discarded sword that lay nearby. He wasn’t about to rise to the bait of the slayer’s words. He had far too many years and far too many kills behind him to let something so trivial make him lose his good sense. And possibly his life in the process. No. He was done with this game. 

Clouds of mist had already started to drift in from the sea, slowly blanketing the cliff-side park and turning the air thick and damp. A fortunate occurrence for the injured vampire, as In the time it took the slayer to blink, Carrington’s corporeal form had dissipated, blending almost seamlessly with the growing fog. The space he had occupied a moment before was now empty, save a dark-red stain on the grass. 

There was a long moment where nothing happened. A moment where perhaps the slayer might have believed Carrington had fled. And perhaps Carrington should have done just that. For things would’ve gone quite differently if he had. But in the end, Carrington didn’t flee. Nor did the slayer. The moment seemed to stretch on and on and on… when it might have lasted ten seconds. 

But ten seconds can seem like a lifetime, especially in that moment when one’s life flashes before their eyes. Carrington hadn’t failed to notice that the slayer’s back was to the cliffside. Unintentional, he assumed - the man seemed smarter than that - but a fact that he used to his advantage. Or tried to. 

But something was wrong. Very, very wrong. Carrington knew it the moment he rematerialized at the slayer’s back… but he was already wrapping his arms in a vice grip around the man’s neck and shoulders… intent on crushing or tearing apart something vital before tossing him over the cliff and into the sea. Except… he couldn’t. He had him within his grasp, in a hold that had killed more men than Carrington could remember… but his body wouldn’t obey the command to rip the man apart. 

Instead, pain unlike anything the vampire had ever felt burned through his nerve endings, like shards of glass dragging themselves through his veins. An agonizing pulse that clawed it’s way into his body from the wound in his shoulder. 

Poison. The blade had been poisoned.

But he had precious little time to think as the slayer fought ruthlessly against his hold. Elbows slammed into Carrington’s ribs hard enough to bruise, even through his armor. Blood-slicked fingers seared the flesh of Carrington’s arm as the slayer tried to force Carrington’s choking grip away from his airway. On and on they struggled, each trying to regain the upper hand. Carrington staggered backwards under the assault, his steps haphazard and clumsy, and as his vision suddenly blurred dangerously, he finally felt his legs go out from under him. 

For a split second, Carrington thought it was the poison. But poison doesn’t feel like falling. By the time Carrington registered the cold, black water rushing towards him, it was too late.

Both slayer and vampire fell, and were swallowed by the dark, unforgiving sea at the bottom of Hanging Rock.

~

[galra-druid]

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This is a side blog. All follows/likes/asks will come from Ash-mun. I prefer to have all of my RP blogs on one blog separate from my main account for organization purposes.

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Biography

General Stats

Alias: Osera

Birth Name: Unknown

Race: Altean/Galra

Age: 18

Height/Weight: 5"8'/140 lbs

Build: Pear shaped

Hair Color: Yellow-white

Eye Color: Yellow glow

Skin Tone: Lavender

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Homeworld: Unknown

Relatives: Unknown

Occupation: Druid

Weapons: Dagger

Strength: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

Agility: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

Intelligence: ★★★★★★★★☆

Magic Abilities:

Quintessence Absorption/Transfer

Phase Shifting

Chameleon Shifting

Energy Lightning

Telekenisis

Overview

An assumed orphan raised within the Galra Empire as one of Haggar's Druids, Osera has lived a life in obscurity behind a mask and robes knowing nothing about her true parentage and past and nothing beyond glory for the Galra Empire.

Personality

Positives/Virtues/Skills: Loyal, soft spoken, hard to anger, driven to serve the Empire, solitary and finds no issue with isolation, studious,inquisitive

Flaws/Weaknesses: Black and white morality, neuroticism and easily overwhelmed by outside stimuli, indecisive without an authority figure

Likes: Quiet spaces, cavernous ships and settlements, secret Space Mall visits, exotic and/or spicy foods

Dislikes: Overtly loud places due to her sensitive ears, unease in natural places due to a lack of time in them, the bland food she gets on ship

Dreams/Ambitions: Furthering her training to the point of mastering her Druid powers, discovering the identity of her parents.

Fears: The current state of the Galra Empire and what is to become of it. Osera doesn't know who to trust or what faction to turn to as being a Druid puts her in the cross-hairs of many. A general unease in the wilderness as Osera has next to no survival skills planet side as she’s never needed them. Osera has never been in a body of water larger than a tub, thus even the concept of an ocean scares her. She doesn’t exactly know how to.

History

Childhood/Family Life: Osera has only memories of foster parents within the Galra Empire, raising her for a brief time before she was transferred off for training as a Druid due to her magic potential.

Education: Osera has been training under the Galra Empire as a Druid to serve under Zarcon for almost as long as she can remember along with typical education for a Galran youth. Life to Osera has been a constant drive for self improvement to serve the Galra Empire better. Being a reserved child that carried over to her teenage years, Osera has kept her head down with little to speak of as far as incidents of note go. Her late teen years saw a ramping up in more combat oriented training typical for Galra soldiers, but it was a place Osera faltered as she leans heavily on her Druid abilities. Still, such training did eventually gain her a promotion from a stint on a Space Hub converting quintessence to one serving on Lord Zarkon’s ship itself.

Combat Prowess

Weapon of Choice: Osera has some training with a simple dagger, but nothing to really speak of as it seems to be more a ceremonial accessory as oppose to a true weapon.

Physical/Magical Strengths: Her true strength is with her Druid abilities with not much to speak of with general hand to hand combat beyond that of an average person.

Physical/Magical Weaknesses: Osera isn't exactly the physically strongest creature about, nor is she well versed in true physical combat. Constant use of her magic abilities drains Osera unless she has a quintessence source at hand.

Verses & AUs

Season Specific Verses: These tags are specific for plots either happening during the actions of that particular season or right after with the intent of staying in line with canon. For the majority of the seasons, Osera is living on Lord Zarkon's flag ship in service to Haggar. She keeps up with Druidic studies along with interrogating prisoners and aiding in quintessence conversion. Once Zarkon passes, Osera follows tradition and serves under the one who won the Kral-Zera. Once Lotor goes missing, her fate is up in the air at the start of S7.

No Sanctuary - Fugitive Verse:  At the death of Lord Zarkon by his own son, the Galra Empire is in upheval with a Kral Zera on the horizon to determine the new leader of the Galra. During this time, Haggar's Druids are left to their own devices but since the collective was never truly a part of the Empire and all are considered the Witches' minions? They are slaughtered wholesale as creatures never to be trusted.Osera manages to escape during this chaos and finds herself adrift in a galaxy she knows little about. She's left any Druid guise far behind and seeks to blend in as nothing of interest to anyone, hoping to avoid the Galra's faction scuffle.

His Faithful Follower - Lotor’s Empire Verse : Once Price Lotor wins the Kral-Zera and cements his claim as the rightful ruler of the Galra Empire. A new era begins where Lotor wishes to usher in peace for the entire universe with the help of Voltron and its Paladins. Sendak may be trying to sow mutiny and win Galra to his side, but with Lotor Osera has found a safe haven as a half-breed. She is uncertain of what the future will bring, but believes in Lotor's plan to unite the universe.

A Sharpened Blade - Blade of Marmora Verse : Lord Zarkon's death at the hands of his own son was enough to shake Osera out of her complacent life as a Druid. She no longer can blindly follow orders at the bidding of Haggar and finds no welcoming place within the evolving Empire for a Druid such as herself. The unrest that followed Lord Zarkon's death revealed the true state of the universe and Osera can no longer sit idly by while everything breaks apart. She first ventured out on her own before gaining a lead to the Blades of Marmora and after proving herself, she's taking up training as one.

A Softer Purple - No War AU : The tragedy of Honerva's poisoning and resulting death never comes to pass. The brilliant Altean alchemist harnesses and contains the ever growing space rift on the Galra's home planet, along with taming quintessence. Voltron continues to be a force for good within the universe, spreading the Altean message of good faith far and wide as various species venture further in space.The Garrison is now a place where students from many planets of origin study and brush up on space travel. Osera is a student enlisted there, having grown up on Earth all her life with her parents.

Courtly Vices - Royalty AU : Set in a fantasy realm, the Galra Empire, Druid Collective, and Voltron Paladins are their own respective factions trying to mediate peace. Formerly, the Druid Collective was a close ally with the Galra Empire but the antics of Prince Lotor has brought unrest between the factions. To obtain a better foothold and stabilize their power, the Druid Collective has bartered one of their own Druids off as a bride to the Yellow Paladin. Osera finds herself wed to a stranger and none too happy about it.

[ookamikasumi-fanfics]

Diabolic 15 - End

Summary: Vincent Valentine is kidnapped by the ghost of Sephiroth for a very personal mission. 

(S/VV- After AC) COMPLETE

All characters property of Square Enix. This story was written for the intent of Personal enjoyment. No money was made from this work.

Warning! Rated NC-17: hard-core Yaoi content, adult language, mild violence, non-con seduction

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fifteen ~ End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vincent stepped from the elevator onto the unmarked twenty-fourth floor and blew out a breath. Even after six months, he still wasn’t used to being at ShinRa Power and Electric as one the dark suited Turks.

It still felt strange wearing ordinary clothes, though his dress shirts, vests, and suit jackets had all been carefully tailored to conceal his non-visible wings. He’d also been given a long trench coat with carefully disguised and strategically placed open side seams.

It had taken him weeks to remember how to knot his red tie properly.

He was somewhat used to having his long black hair combed back and neatly trimmed. Short hair would not have hidden his pointed ears. The typical ShinRa dark sunglasses disguised his scarlet eyes rather well. He still wore a red cloth around his brow, but it was a far slimmer and neater version that was worn under his hair, rather than over it. His armored glove was back at his apartment. It wouldn’t fit under his suit. He’d had to settle for simple black leather.

The whole ensemble wasn’t actually uncomfortable, but it was galling to be so…exposed. His tailor knew exactly what his body looked like. He had an apartment, a bank account, bills… He’d been forced to join society at large. He even had a car, a modest sedan.

He was far less noticeable among the general public, the average person barely looked his way. However, every single one of the Turks not only knew what he was, but pretty much everything he was capable of.

Oddly, his differences hadn’t made him an outcast, though absolutely no one liked being assigned as his partner. He was far too good at what he did. They simply could not compete on his skill level.

Tseng, his immediate superior, was positively thrilled with his ability to infiltrate just about any place he cared to send Vincent. Not to mention that he was invaluable during interrogations. All he had to do was remove his glasses to show his scarlet eyes, and smile showing his long teeth, and whoever they had in the chair would start spilling everything they knew.

The only thing Vincent had real problems with was working the day shift. He was a night creature by nature. Unfortunately he didn’t have a choice. Rufus worked days, not nights. When he went outside during daylight hours, he’d been forced to wear a fairly broad-brimmed black fedora hat to keep his neck from getting sun-burned in seconds.

To Tseng’s complete chagrin, sitting still, whether it was in a car or at a desk, would put him to sleep in a matter of minutes. He’d been forced to voice-record any reports that couldn’t wait until after sunset.

Rufus was still a total and complete bastard to work under, but apparently he’d meant what he said to Cloud almost a year ago; about ShinRa Corp. making up for very nearly causing the world’s destruction. There was no mistaking that he was out for profit, but the wars he fought were in boardrooms with lawyers, not on battlefields with monsters.

The SOLDIER program no longer existed. Instead, there was a veritable army of Turks.

Vincent sighed. He still hadn’t told Cloud he was working for ShinRa. Thank the powers that he was known for his long disappearances, so Cloud hadn’t come looking for him. According to Seph, he should be done cohabitating with Rufus sometime very soon, so perhaps Vincent wouldn’t have to.

Vincent nodded to Rufus’s secretary and approached the office door.

Rude stood by the office door in his neatly pressed midnight blue suit and usual dark sunglasses. He turned and gave Vincent a slight nod.

Tall, slender, Reno, leaned against the wall on the far side of the doorway with his unruly scarlet hair pulled back into its customary tail. His zipper suit was rumpled with the white shirt hanging out and barely buttoned. There was no trace of a tie. His arms were folded across his narrow chest and he glared at Vincent with pure vitriolic hate.

Vincent gave him a slight smile. Poor Reno… He was not happy with Sephiroth living in his lover’s body. Apparently the deal was, if Rufus played with Reno, Seph was allowed to play too. However, with Rufus and Reno painfully jealous when it came to each other, no one had touched anyone – for the past six months.  

Vincent snorted. Just as well. He had no interest in letting Rufus anywhere near him. He opened the door and walked into Rufus’s spacious black, white, and gray office.

Leaning up against the black ultra-modern desk with his arms crossed was a pale graceful youth in a black turtleneck and black jeans. His eyes were a striking green-gold and his snow-white hair tumbled over his shoulders to very nearly his waist. He was only a head shorter than Vincent and painfully beautiful.

Vincent blinked. He knew that boy. He’d seen him before…somewhere.

The youth stepped forward and smiled. “Well, what do you think?” The voice was surprisingly deep for someone so young and the expression was unmistakable.

Vincent stared. Holy shit! “Seph?”

The boy’s grin broadened. “Yep!” He held out his slender arms and turned all the way around, showing off his willowy form. “How do I look?”

Vincent swallowed hard. “I think you look amazingly…familiar.”

“I should.” The youth smiled. “This is a clone developed from one of Hojo’s early blood samples.”

Vincent felt the small hairs lift on the back of his neck. “Your early blood samples had active Jenova-taint.”

The youthful Sephiroth nodded. “It did, but considerably less than my adult body.”

Rufus stood up from his desk chair setting down his handful of papers. His white silk suit and gold tie shimmered slightly with his movements. “The clone was also subjected to a bath consisting of the water used to cure the geostigma, rendering the Jenova strain inert.” He smiled tightly. “I made sure of it myself.”

Sephiroth smiled tightly. “Uncle Rufus doesn’t want a repeat of my last performance any more than I do.”

Vincent’s brows lifted. “Uncle Rufus?”

Rufus lifted a shoulder and very casually turned to look out the window behind his desk. “Someone has to care for him while he’s young.”

Care for him…? Vincent stared while something twisted in the region of his heart. But…?

But Rufus was right. Someone did have to care for the youthful Sephiroth. Someone had to provide a home, food, clothes…a life. Vincent released a soft breath. He simply…couldn’t. He lived in the small apartment directly below Rufus, but it was merely a place to sleep, shower, and store his suits. He didn’t eat human food. He had no clue how to provide for a…a boy. “I see.”

Sephiroth’s smile slipped into something far chillier and far more determined. “Rufus and I have come to an agreement. I will be his role-model ward, and he’ll see that I have everything I need to be ready for…the future.”

Vincent lifted his gaze toward Rufus. “Then you know?”

“About Jenova haunting the life-stream?” Rufus took in a deep breath and released it. “Actually, I rather wish I didn’t.” A tight smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “I told Cloud that ShinRa intended to atone for its past transgressions.” He snorted. “However, I didn’t expect to fulfill that statement quite so literally.” He nodded toward Sephiroth.

Vincent’s mouth tightened. ShinRa had once again created Sephiroth. Hopefully this time ShinRa would help him become the world’s hero instead of its villain. “Poetic justice, perhaps?”

Sephiroth smiled tightly. “I’d say it was far closer to divine justice.”

Rufus cleared his throat and nodded toward the silver-haired youth. “So, do you approve of your new body, Seph?”

Sephiroth nodded gravely. “I do. Thank you.”

Vincent tilted his head toward the blond boy. “How did you make a fourteen-year-old clone in six months?” He frowned. “And how did you make the transfer?”

Sephiroth folded his arms and snorted. “The body is seventeen. It merely looks young.” He smiled. “The transfer was a simple kiss.” He shot a narrow glance toward Rufus. “I wasn’t sealed in materia crystal this time, so passing from one body to the other posed no difficulty whatsoever.”

Rufus nodded at Vincent. “The lab I used had one of the newer model cloning tanks, though they’re used for actual medical purposes these days, rather than experimentation.” He smiled at Sephiroth. “And I stopped the clone’s process at sixteen.”  

Sephiroth scowled. “Sixteen…?”

Rufus’s smile sharpened. “You said you wanted to have plenty of time to train, correct? I figured that it couldn’t hurt to improve your social skills at the same time.”

Sephiroth frowned. “My social skills…?”

Rufus turned around and leaned back against the window frame. He crossed his arms. “You need peers, companions, friends. The best way to obtain those is by attending school.”

Sephiroth’s small hands fisted at his sides. “I do not need an education. I was thoroughly tutored!”

Rufus nodded gravely. “Yes, and that tutoring did nothing but isolate you from the rest of humanity.” He lifted his chin and delivered a cool smile. “Three years of high school and a few more of college should do you a world of good.”

Sephiroth was going to go to high school? Vincent’s mind boggled.

Sephiroth’s mouth fell open. “You’re sending me to school?” The pitch of his voice rose. Apparently, his mind was boggled too.

Rufus straightened and folded his hands behind him. “There is no better way to discover the true character of those who will share your future than by observing them in their youth, before they learn to hide it.”

Sephiroth took a deep breath and tucked his chin. “A valid point.”

Rufus nodded. “I think you will make a most excellent addition to the ShinRa corporation.”

Sephiroth snorted. “I should warn you, I truly abhor paperwork.”

Rufus rolled his eyes. “Don’t we all?” He smiled. “But then, that’s what secretaries are for.”

Vincent stepped forward, drawing Sephiroth’s attention, and Rufus’s. “You’re going to have to control that temper of yours while you’re around all those children.”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. “I suppose I will have to refrain from setting them on fire.”

Rufus’s brows lifted. “You still have magical capability?”

Sephiroth snorted and lifted a graceful brow. “Of course. The talent rides with the soul, but it was also inherent with the body, even before Hojo’s…additions.”

The far door slammed open revealing Reno in the doorway, his eyes wide staring hard at Rufus. “Is it true? Is it over?” He stalked in, striding right past Sephiroth.

Rude, right on his partner’s heels, stopped just inside the doorway staring at Sephiroth. His black brows lifted over his sunglasses.

Rufus focused hotly on Reno and smiled. “Yes, it’s over.”

Reno leaped straight up into the air and whooped. “Hot damn!” He shot a thoroughly lascivious grin at Rufus. “When?”

Rufus moved to his desk and lifted a paper. “As soon as I finish this meeting.” He turned and looked over at Sephiroth.

Reno froze, made a sharp about-face, and stared at the silver-haired youth. His red brows lifted over his moss green eyes, and his Cupid’s bow lips parted. “Oh, the pipsqueak’s already walking around?”

“Yes.” Sephiroth’s smile thinned. “And the pipsqueak’s hearing is in excellent condition.”

The red-head grinned and nodded. “Great! Wow…” He strode all the way around Sephiroth, quite obviously keeping his distance from Vincent. “Damn, you make a cute kid.”

Rufus cleared his throat. “He’s sixteen, Reno. That’s two years too young to play with you.”

Vincent blinked. Sephiroth was a minor. A chuckle bubbled up and escaped.

Sephiroth turned sharply to frown at Vincent.

Reno turned and stuck out his bottom lip at Rufus. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Boss.” He folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t do kids.

Vincent smiled down at Sephiroth and mouthed silently, Neither do I.

Sephiroth curled his lip in a scowl that was absolutely adorable. “We’ll just see about that.”

Vincent snorted. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m currently larger than you and far stronger. If you try anything that I don’t approve of…” He smiled. “I’ll give you a spanking.”

Sephiroth’s hands fisted at his sides and his mouth fell open. “You wouldn’t dare!”

Vincent lifted his chin and his smile broadened showing his long teeth. “Try me.” He lifted his gaze to Rufus. “ShinRa, you have my personal cell phone number, correct?” He looked down at Sephiroth. “Just in case.”

Rufus lifted a hand to cover his mouth. He coughed and his cheeks flagged with red. “Oh, why, yes I do.”

Reno laughed out loud. “Oh damn! Looks like you better be good or Uncle Vincent’s gonna give you a whupping!”

Sephiroth leveled a glare at Reno. “You do realize that since you are not a child, there’s no reason I can’t set you on fire?”

Reno very casually stepped back. “Somebody needs to learn to play nice.”

Rufus coughed again and cleared his throat for good measure. “Seph, please don’t set the employees on fire.” He smiled. “You’re going to need them, at the very least for sparring practice.”

Sephiroth pursed his lips and nodded. “Point taken.”

Reno turned to frown at Rufus. “Huh?”

Rufus strode over to his desk and sat on the corner. “Reno, does have his occasional uses. Try not to break him beyond repair.”

Sephiroth grinned. “I’ll do my best to return him in one piece.”

“Wait a minute…” Reno frowned. “Are you saying that this skinny brat can kick my ass?”

Rude snorted from his position at the doorway. “Yes.”

A rather heated exchange broke out after that.

A smile curving his lips, Vincent stepped back and silently left the office. At the end of the hall he punched the elevator call. Rufus ShinRa was certainly going to have his hands full with his new charge, but it was truly possible that Sephiroth, the great and terrible might actually have a better life this time around, and a better future.

His mission was done. He was free. All he had left to do was hand Tseng his formal resignation.

The office door slammed open behind him. “Vincent!”

Vincent turned.

The pale youthful Sephiroth marched toward him, his mouth tight and his emerald eyes blazing. “Where are you going?”

Vincent’s brows lifted. “I’m leaving.”

“What?” Sephiroth’s slender body trembled. “Why?” His voice was breathless and a damp shimmer appeared in his eyes.

Vincent shrugged. “You have what you wanted; a new body, and a new life to go with it.”

Sephiroth lifted his chin and crossed his arms. “So?”

Vincent smiled while his pounding heart bled with every beat. “You don’t need me any more.”

Sephiroth scowled ferociously. “Bullshit.” A tear slid down his cheek.

Vincent’s heart twisted hard. “Oh hell…” He strode for the youth and wrapped him in a hug. He winced. The terror of the entire planet felt so damned fragile in his arms.

Sephiroth’s hands fisted in Vincent’s coat. “You can’t leave.”

Vincent pressed a kiss to the top of the youth’s head. “I have no reason to stay.”

Sephiroth sniffed against Vincent’s coat lapel. “Yes you do. You’re my bodyguard.”

Vincent swallowed. “You have all of ShinRa…”

The youth’s hands tightened in his coat, tugging on it. “I want you!”

Vincent’s eyes burned. He was suddenly glad that that Sephiroth’s face was buried in his coat. He took a breath to keep his voice even. “You’ll be busy with school and…other things.” Peers, companions, friends…

“So? That’s only some of the daylight hours. You can work during those hours and spend the rest of your time with me, even if it’s just playing stupid video games.”

Vincent rolled his eyes. Oh gee, thanks… “Seph…”

Sephiroth leaned back and glared up at Vincent. “I can get Rufus to make you stay.”

Vincent’s bared his teeth and backed away. “Don’t…!”

Sephiroth folded his arms across his slender chest and curled his lip. His determined expression was far too mature for his youthful face, and clearly showed the man he would be. “Then don’t make me.”

Vincent scowled down at him. “Haven’t I done enough for him?”

“It’s not for him, it’s for me.” Sephiroth scraped a hand against his damp cheek. “You can’t leave me, Vincent.” His green gaze narrowed to slits. “You belong with me. My body may be new, but how I feel has not changed.” He pointed a slender finger at Vincent. “You will never escape me. Never!”

Vincent groaned. “What the hell did I do to deserve this?

Sephiroth grabbed onto Vincent’s coat. “Swear to me that you’ll stay.” His voice was deep and determined, but his gaze shifted back and forth with clear uncertainty. “I can’t…” He took a deep breath and then whispered very softly. “I can’t do this without you.”

Vincent’s heart very quietly shattered in his chest. He closed his eyes. His throat was so tight all that came out was a whisper. “I’ll stay.”

Sephiroth sighed deeply. “Good.” He lifted his chin and grinned up at Vincent. “Now, kiss me.”

Vincent sighed then smiled. “I will, in two years.”

Sephiroth’s mouth fell open. “What?”

Vincent set his hands on Sephiroth’s slender shoulders. “In two years you’ll be eighteen and old enough to kiss.”

The youth stomped his foot. “That is not fair!”

Vincent chuckled. He couldn’t help it. Immaturity was catching up to Sephiroth very quickly. “Actually it’s very fair. If you’re going to make me keep working for ShinRa, you’re going to have to wait until you’re no longer a minor before you get a kiss.”

Sephiroth growled, a low liquid rumbling in his chest. “You will pay for that.” He grabbed Vincent around the waist and hugged him.

Vincent snorted and rolled his eyes. “I’m already paying for it.” He closed his arms around the slender youth and sighed deeply. Life was certainly going to be interesting with Sephiroth back among the living.

Cloud was going to have a heart-attack.

~ End ~

[scoutshonor56]

Sex, Violence, & The Natural Order of Things

How’s that for a Holiday attention grabber… OK, spoiler alert, this blog has nothing to do with the Holidays, but neither is it repugnant, or negative in nature – rather it is life-affirming at its most basic level.  Before I go on, look at the interestingly beautiful header picture above and think on it for a minute or two; then give your best guess as to what it is, where it is, and who – or what – made it; I think you’ll be surprised.  I myself was profoundly awed.

 Those who know me well know I’m an avid and enthusiastic fan of just about anything to do with nature: I’ve subscribed to National Geographic for most of my adult life, their network is on my “favorites” list of TV channels, and I often record the wonderful PBS broadcasts of “NOVA” and “Nature”.

 Why do I find shows such as these so fascinating? Certainly the incredible camera work, that thanks to today’s technology takes the viewer to places sometimes far away, sometimes in your backyard, sometimes so small it’s almost invisible to the naked eye, or even places far beyond earth’s atmosphere; but the common denominator is all these shows document and explain the world around us; the world we live in, the planet we call home.  A home so diverse in life it’s actually hard to imagine.  Also, a world so full of secretes and yet unknowns.

 You would think that as primates with a highly developed brain, this would be of primary interest to us – understanding our environment with all its complexities; if anything else, in the interest of long-term survival.  But, well, we’re a complex species, and generally politicians, fools, and religious zealots have a different take on the whole thing… but we won’t get sidetracked!

 So where am I going with all this?  A few evenings ago I finally sat down to watch back-to-back episodes of “Extreme Animal Weapons” (NOVA), and “Nature’s Miniature Miracles” (Nature); I’ll start with the show “Extreme Animal Weapons”.  

 In a nutshell, the show was about all the creatures, be they mammal, fish, reptile, bird, or insect, who possess various natural weapons to be used both defensively, and more common, offensively. Keep in mind, we’re not just talking about teeth or claws – we’re talking “extreme”; as in an over-sized growth or appendage of some kind, usually in pairs, that is used for battle. Meaning of course, 99% of the time, male on male to establish dominance. More specifically, with the intent of gaining the sole right to pass on their genes through mating.  

 How’s this for a fun trivia question: In the entire animal kingdom, which species is lugging around the largest attached “weapon” in proportion to its body size?  

 The Fiddler crab.  Some of the species can be as small as a dime, and on the one side of its front end is a nice, small “hand” claw, used primarily for bringing food to its mouth.  Its mate on the other side is a monster appendage that makes up half its body mass, can weigh as much as the rest of the crab’s body, and has a measurable crushing force of five lbs. – more than enough to pierce the carapace of it’s rival. That would be like me having a 190lb. plated arm hanging off my shoulder.  

 But probably the largest group of these armed competitors would be all the mammals with horns or antlers: rams, elk, moose, deer, gazelles, elephant and walrus tusks, the rhinoceros, etc.  Antlers are the fastest growing bone known in nature: A Bull elk from Montana can grow, and replace annually, a pair of antlers weighing up to 40lbs or more.  Imagine the strength of its neck and shoulders to bear this weight atop its head!

 As great as it sounds to be always armed in such a manner, the show also goes on to point out the disadvantages of being blessed/burdened with such an arsenal; this select group pay a price for their status.  For instance, the male Fiddler crab can only eat with the one arm, where most of his opponents can stuff their jaws twice as fast, using both their less impressive front pincers.  Those bearing huge horns and antlers, such as the Bull elk, pay a large biological investment trade-off to annually replace their massive antlers. Having to channel so much calcium into their re-growth, the rest of their skeleton has brittle bones.  The heavier weight likewise makes them just a little bit slower in a chase, requiring more energy to run.

 I couldn’t help but think of our own species as the show pointed out that often these extreme weapons are not even required to be tested in battle; many rival encounters are settled simply with a ritualistic show of power, or size, ending with one or the other deciding to take its search for a mate elsewhere.  How different is that from a macho showdown in any pick-up bar on a Saturday night?  It’s ridiculously easy to imagine two human males circling one another from across the room while sizing up their rival before approaching a single female.  Or maybe she had already shown up with a date, who is presently in the men’s room... and things get serious - well, its “go time”, and at least in appearance, it all comes down to a show of size... or weapon.

 Along those lines, in the animal kingdom the huge appendage is multi-purpose, often also used for show to attract the female. Back to the Fiddler crab, when trying to win the attention of a prospective female, it will be sure to enthusiastically wave around its big claw!  Now think of “bling”, or expensive cars, or flashy suits… How different are we? We may be more evolved, but in such basic biological drives and habits, not that much.

 So how do the Woody Allens of the animal kingdom compete against the Sylvester Stallones?  How is it that they’re still around and haven’t been weeded out of the biological chain?

 They cheat.  They out-maneuver the Schwarzeneggers.  When the female Dung beetle is ready to mate, she burrows down into a narrow pit of sorts, which is zealously guarded by the dominant male who sits atop the little hole.  Not to be denied his amorous urges, a lesser male who is smart enough will tunnel a side entry right next to the female nest and sneak in his self-made “back door” - cool or what?

 The smaller Bull elk will play a lotto game of numbers during the rutting season.  He and a small group of likewise enthusiastic suiters will approach the guarded territory of the female and start a chase, where the dominant male simply can’t keep them all away from the also running female – remember, he is slower in a lengthy chase, and as always, there is strength in numbers.  One of the lucky gang will eventually mount the female on the run and get his prize as he can inseminate in a mere 2 seconds – yeah, not much enjoyment for the female I imagine!  

 OK, enough of the “R” rated stuff, on to the second show, “Nature’s Miniature Miracles”, which obviously dealt with how the small and tiny of the animal kingdom manage to survive on this very big, and often environmentally challenging planet.

 It was equally fascinating, but as I might be boring some of you by now(!), I will include the one featured animal that answers the puzzle of my original question as to who, or what, created the header image of this blog.  That work of art is actually an example of incredibly aesthetic underwater landscaping, and it resides at the bottom of the shallower end of the sea, off the coast of Japan.  It’s six feet wide, a near perfect circle, and was created by the Japanese Pufferfish, who averages about five inches long.  If you look carefully at the image, you can see him just off center in one of the inner furrows, at the 7 or 8 o’clock position.

 You see, the male Japanese Pufferfish is one of the physically disadvantaged in the mating game; his scales and entire body are a shade of blue/gray that almost matches the color of the surrounding landscape, undoubtedly serving him well as a defensive camouflage, but how’s a guy going to get a date when he all but fades into the background?

 To attract a prospective female, the male tirelessly works 24 hours a day for a solid week to create his masterpiece, and all to hopefully lure a bypassing female to pause and think, “Yeah, that looks like a good spot to lay my eggs…”  Both maybe two or three feet above the sand, the male even “corrals” her, repeatedly nudging her toward the center, to make sure she observes and judges his work from the most advantageous perspective.

You’ve got to ask yourself, how does a fish create something so geometrically beautiful and perfect… He even ends his work with a few embellishments and finishing touches, using rocks and shells.  I’ve spent most of my adult life making a living as an artist, and I’ll tell you right now, I’d hang that on my wall over many a museum or gallery piece I’ve seen.  If you were to tell me this was found in an ancient Incan temple, created centuries ago, I’d believe it.  But a fish?  And all that work, just so he can squirt a little semen onto a tiny pile of eggs? That has to make you stop and think – and wonder about the programming and intricacy of this humble fish’s brain.

 When the female eventually makes her choice, it is somehow communicated to the male, who then lets her swim off, knowing she will return to deposit her eggs when ready.  And as a final step, the male then smooths over the center of his beautiful work, making sure the finest and softest sand lay directly center, a perfect mound for the hatchlings.  

 I read the book “Jurassic Park”, and of course saw the (1993) movie, and undoubtedly my favorite character was Dr.  Ian Malcolm, a mathematician who specialized in a branch of mathematics known as "Chaos Theory" (in the movie, played by Jeff Goldblum).  When all the eggheads and geneticists on the island assured the visiting party that there was absolutely no way for the dinosaurs to procreate because all males were weeded out of the process early on – hence, all the resident dinosaurs were female – he expressed his doubt and concern by stating that as a rule, “nature finds a way…” 

 Oh yes it does, because if there is one immutable driving force on this planet, it is the creation of life, and more specifically, the procreation of all existing species, both plant and animal.  A force hard-wired into both the sexes through millions of years of evolution, which is essentially a grand experiment of trial and error.  Survival of the fittest, and debatably even more important, the most able to adapt and change.

 Yes little Billy, there is a God – and his/her name is Life, in the truest and most perfect sense of the word.  It is his/her miracle.

 Before closing I want to share another mind-boggling trivia fact – that’s right Alex, I’ll take “NATURE” for $500:

 Where does 50% of the world’s oxygen come from? “Ah, that would-be phytoplankton…”

“That is CORRECT, for $500!”

Remember, the oceans cover roughly 75% of our planet, and plankton swarms through all of them while existing through the process of photosynthesis – just as our trees and plants.  What could be more beautiful than being nourished by sunlight and hydrocarbons, and giving off oxygen as a by-product?  Why is it so hard to understand that our physical world is an infinitely complex, yet interconnected web of life, and the severing of even one strand has an effect that resonates and disrupts like a sour note through the entire orchestra..?

 But hey, what the hell, don’t worry - if you listen to the GOP, we’ll still have jobs… and gas to drive to them… in a poisoned wasteland devoid of life as we know it…

[nelrunari]

❖ AND THE DREAM CALLS: OLIVER “OLLIE” WRIGHT.

Character Name: Oliver “Ollie” Wright.

↳ “Defender of love and justice, nya!” While the title, for the time at least, is now retired, he was also known as Nyan Diamond! One of six destined heroes to save the world from total devastation. In the same breath, he is also familiar with “Oleander”, a vice that once controlled him and one he fears the return of.

Pronouns: He/Him.

Age: 18, born February 28th.

Trigger Warnings: underage drinking, suicide ideation and attempts, unhealthy coping skills.

Appearance: Tanned and heavily freckled, surprisingly well-built body considering his recent choices in lifestyle. Twin clavicle piercings. His hair is typically light-brown in color, and oft disheveled, a choice coming from favoring styling with his hands rather than a brush if he puts in the effort at all. Doe-eyed, violet in color, though his eyes are often puffy due to frequent crying.

The only traits that carried over from Nyan Diamond are a long tabby gray tail + folded ears. He’s kept both human and feline traits, much to his dismay. Should he take on his hero form in entirety, his hair would be a bright sky blue instead, and the same blue pairs well with the violet-pink color in his eyes.

An extension of the contract includes the potential of turning in full to a feline, though thankfully this is rare. Should this happen, he would be an average-sized Scottish Fold cat.

Visual references can be found HERE.

Personality: A crybaby to his very core, the smallest thing causes tears to well and it’s not as if he hasn’t tried to stop them. Oliver is easily startled and can be described as glass-hearted. he puts up a brave face as Nyan Diamond, but it’s not something he can keep up with any ease.

Fragile at his best, and cowardly at his worst, becoming a hero wasn’t exactly a plan he had in his life. In the same breath, he isn’t so sure he wanted to be saved. Post-Oleander, he’s beyond grateful for the friends he’s formed and the support he’s received with the group, though an immeasurable amount of guilt still rests beneath the surface. He tries, truly, and that’s all anyone can ask for.

More positive traits: affectionate, amiable, capable, careful, considerate, cooperative, crafty, determined, diligent, eager, efficient, encouraging, faithful, fanciful, generous, gentle, humble, observing, polite, sensitive, sincere, tactful.

More negative traits: afraid, (inwardly) aggressive, anxious, cowardly, depressed, distressed, doubtful, finicky, fidgety, hopeless, naive, pessimistic, scornful, self-destructive, weak.

MBTI: isfp.

TEMPERAMENT: melancholic.

ALIGNMENT: neutral good.

Background: The scent of salt water was overwhelming. There are other things he should be fretting about, he thinks, not that it matters. He’d stood on the cliffside overlooking the bay multiple times before, but this time was different. This time, he had a plan. And this time, he felt confident in it. Before the New Year, and after Christmas, Oliver had planned his own death. No note, just an accident. Or, well--to anyone else it would be. (So he thought.)

Or, he had felt confident in it. Every step closer he had felt himself    tremble, and by the time he was merely a step or two from the edge fear had consumed him once again, and he--playing right into the vicious cycle--fell to his knees and cried. 

He never could do it. He never could take those last few steps. For as much as his mind echoed the thought, he could never make the jump. And he had thought about it often; familiar with the water below, and what time the tide was its highest, and he knew what it might feel like to be dragged under. For a while, that was comforting. And yet he never could. 

And then he was given a chance to escape. Away from home, a chance at a new life. For the first time in what must have been years: he felt hopeful. He wouldn’t think much of that little miracle for years to come.

In total, he thinks, he had been blessed with three miracles. Leaving was the first.

He’d been enrolled in a school not far from a small apartment, and not farther still from his place of employment. Eventually, he’d settled into a routine. Wake up, go to class, go to work, go home, sleep, and repeat. It was predictable, and predictably boring, but it was something. It was enough. He was alive, and to anyone who cared, that was all that mattered.

The second miracle was meeting Lucky. If you asked him what it was like to meet a talking dog, he’d tell you it was a blur, but he wouldn’t elaborate. Mostly because he doesn’t remember. 

He remembers drinking quite a bit, and dozing with his face pressed against the living room table, bottle still in hand. He remembers feeling miserable, once again, and doing so to “cope”. (At the very least, he wasn’t thinking anything in particular, which he thought helped him immensely.) And he vaguely remembers something wet drawing him back to drowsy state, swaying ever slightly as he pushed himself up from the table, holding his head up weakly with his free hand. He remembers seeing a white mass, blinking black eyes, and he remembers it saying...something. What it was, he doesn’t recall. The next thing he knows is he signed something, but he doesn’t remember how messy the signature looked and he doesn’t remember falling back asleep on top of it after the fact and he doesn’t remember where it went when he woke up. 

Left in place of the blur was a bell, and a note explaining its purpose. “As of today,” it read, “you will be known as a protector of love and justice! The world is in danger. I trust you to find the others and bring peace and prosperity back to the land! P.S. You should attach this to something. It’s very, very, very important! Ring it and you’ll see!” Signed with a pawprint: “Your dear friend, Lucky!”

The third miracle, if you were to ask, were his friends. 

They weren’t friends at first. Or, well, most of them weren’t. Some of them were, and in Oliver’s case, he was dating the leader of the party of six when they weren’t busy fighting god-knows-what. They were all confused kids with no idea what they were doing and no idea on what to do about their new partial-animal counterparts. 

And they had saved him.

They had adjusted well enough, become something competent. Fighting enemies became a breeze, and they met often between classes or after work; bringing a healthy change to the routine that Oliver had felt comfortable with. Sometimes they joked about how cartoon-ish it all sounded. “Like an anime!” One would say. “You guys know about Madoka, right? Oh, well, maybe we’re more like a modern Mew Mew…” Other times they stressed over what might come next, after a particularly difficult enemy.

Oliver had never expected the feelings that haunted him still to leave him vulnerable to the monsters they fought. 

Maybe in a sense, he was always fighting a battle. One with himself, and he had for a while. And with this--the overwhelming fear and anxiety atop all else--he had lost.  Brought to life, was Oleander. 

Here’s the thing with Vices of this nature. The host they possess is fully aware of the process, and is fully aware of every action the Vice takes. Their thoughts and feelings may be clouded with whatever formed the creature to begin with, but they are still painfully keen. 

So when the Nyans fought him back, as they are contracted to do, Oliver was there, and his tears would fall behind clouded eyes and fangs bare. He’d felt each hit, and he’d felt that it felt that it did not care. It was intent on taking them both out completely. Brute force in its entirety would not be enough to banish it. Force alone would only let it win.

The Nyans won, of course, and instead of a typical bliss, at first all he felt was regret. As soon as he felt feet touch ground and dull nails dig into the ground below, he started to sob. Apologies poured from his lips out of habit, begging for a forgiveness he felt he didn’t deserve. And then he felt them crowd around him, and hug as tightly as they could.

They stayed there a while. A group of kids once again, sitting in a circle in what might as well have been the middle of nowhere. One of them rested a comforting hand on his knee, and the other holding him close with an arm around his shoulder, and the rest just sat close. And they talked, and he confessed. Confessed everything he thought he never would, or could, to anyone. Each and every miracle, and each and every secret. 

They had saved him, he’d say, and he was more grateful than they could ever know. 

Memento: A choker with a bell, something that seems rather innocuous at a glance. Really, what it once was was the trinket used to help him transform. Ringing it now does nothing but make a pleasant sound. He’s never seen without it.

Natural Abilities: Basic water manipulation: can move and shape water and similar compounds with ease. This was his primary method of attack, but without creation or any real power behind it it’s little more than a fun party trick. Enhanced senses and basic abilities thanks to cursed contracts: nothing too extreme, upped vitality and strength--can take a good few hits--maybe a bit faster than he once was. More ease with seeing things at night or in dark settings. Better hearing and sense of smell. 

Power History: Advanced water manipulation and hydromancy, extends to ice and more dangerous attacks. Probability manipulation, making him or those he applies this to either luckier or unluckier as needed. Full feline transformation upon intense emotional impact. Etc.

Basic Worldbuilding and F.A.Q.

The Cat’s Nyas are best described as defenders of love and justice! Contracted by Lucky, a familiar-like dog, the Nyans have been assigned the task of defending the world (or at least, the city of sin) from total devastation, fighting off enemies who otherwise hold full intent to harm those they’re born from and humanity as a whole.

Their enemies are known as Covets and Vices, respectively, with covets being lesser enemies in comparison to vices. More specific info can be found under the link in ‘Extra!’

Oliver’s own vice was known as ‘Oleander’. Classified ‘Type C’, sub-classed as ‘Self-Destructive.’ His character arc involves becoming and overcoming Oleander.

↳ Oleander is the first vice the Nyans–sans Ollie offensively–encounter that seeks its own destruction rather than someone else’s. He appears to have no qualms about using outside means to obtain this, nor does he seem to care for any harm that is done to those outside the realm they fight in. Though he still sometimes cries, it’s more frequent he thrusts himself almost literally headfirst into danger. 

He is formed from the untreated and persistent depressive and suicidal tendencies of Oliver, who prior to the possession, kept his previous ideation of suicide and previous plans of it close to his chest, hidden from others so as to prevent concern. Not even the family he left were aware of his plans to attempt it. He has never sought treatment for his worsening mental state, finding temporary solace in both drinking and gambling. It’s frequent he wastes entire paychecks on either of those things, and already has strikes on his record for this behavior. This possession forces him, rather unwillingly, to address and confront his mindset outright, though he does seem more than a little unnerved after he’s free from the vice’s grasp.

All of these enemies typically reside in their own respective realm. Time seems to not pass by at all while within them, or at the very least, it doesn’t flow normally. Those who enter one are typically left in a dream-like state, stuck in a fantastical haze until either they adjust to their new surroundings or leave them.

Nothing in these realms feels ‘real’, heavily due to the fact they’re constructed and house the creatures born from human negativity. They don’t really have any true physical form, just the vague resemblance of one. The Cat’s Nyas, due to their contract, are immune to this effect. To an extent, they even take on a part of it. It’s why when transformed, they are unrecognizable to the general public. They appear as if they were in a dream, their faces something difficult to recognize and recall because looking at them is like looking at something that isn’t quite there. It’s a permanent effect, up until someone is made AWARE of their true identities. After that fact, they’d be recognizable–liken it to lucid dreaming. When you’re aware something is a dream, any ‘filter’ loses it’s effect.

Extra: 

Anytime he mentions a contract, please know he means its a contract with hundreds of pages. None of the six Nyans read it in full. F.

Prior to moving to america, he was on his school’s swim team for a few years. It’s something he genuinely enjoyed and was fairly good at, although he had dropped out of it about a year before his leave alongside other extracurriculars.

He’s That Bitch™ who’s surprisingly good at math. It’s actually his favorite subject! He’s never gotten anything less than an A in any math class, if anything, that’s the only consistent grade he’s had. He has taken a few advanced classes, and is currently taking calculus and ap statistics.

Loves certain sports and played a few rough games with old friends when he was younger. He’s really into rugby and soccer (football), and tries to keep up with the national events when he can. American football is okay but he’s not as interested in it as the other two.

Vastly prefers being out and about/being outside than being cooped up inside all day, despite that being a majority of what he does now. He used to go to the beach a lot when he was able to and likes most outdoor recreational activities. He’s tried most at least once, but his favorites are cycling, fishing (catch and release), and hiking. The only one he can’t stand is hunting.

Absolutely refuses to swear. He used to, and he doesn’t care if other people do, he just personally chooses not to. Will instead replace words ( hell = heck, etc. ) or try and be more creative insult-wise if he has to. 

He has collarbone piercings, and only got them after a lost bet with his best friend. It wasn’t that big of a deal though, he had wanted them anyway, she just gave him the push and support he needed to actually go through with it.

He’s had a lot of pets over the years, either his own family’s or ones that they’ve fostered and given away. Surprisingly, more of a dog person than a cat person. Still at home, his family has two dogs of their own: two border collies from the same litter, respectively named Parsley and Sage. He asks for updates on them a lot and saves any pictures he gets on his phone.

Has an irrational fear of both birds and lizards. Please don’t ask.

Loves fruit and caramel, Absolutely hates coconut. 

His mother taught him a bit about sewing when he was a preteen, mostly so it became his responsibility to fix any tears in his clothes. He hasn’t kept up with it, but vaguely remembers how to and can in a pinch.

He texts with a lot of emojis and punctuation. lots of ‘!!!!!!’ and ‘????????’. The nicknames on his phone aren’t usually shortened, but are always followed up with a string of emojis he associates with them.

Beyond tired of Australian stereotypes. He will get up and leave wherever he is if someone brings one up in means of jest or in otherwise non-questioning intent.

Can be lowkey passive aggressive, particularly on-shift as a croupier. If he’s dealing for a table with a rude player, he’ll subtly shift favor to the other players. He knows numerous ways of cheating in the varying card games, but only focuses on doing so in these situations. no bribes or bullshit here thanks! (Tips are always nice though. Tip your dealer, kids.)

He’s really … really … really out of touch with modern tv shows or games and the like. Like, he has a vague idea of what movies are playing but anything else? Nada. What the fuck is popular nowadays. He’d probably be into a few if someone brought them up, but if you ask him what his favorite of [xyz] is, it’ll probably be something that was big in the mid-00s. 

You know the type of people whose folders/shelves/general living space looks like an absolute disaster but they still know where every little thing is? Olliecore. He’ll neaten stuff up a bit to make it look presentable if he absolutely has to, it’s just that that kind of situation is rare and it takes way more energy than it’s worth. Let him live.

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❖ Nelrunari Section ❖

Ward: Circinus

Player Tag: Here

❖ OOC Section ❖

Name/Alias: Pascal (or) Orion !

Contact: @orirising (main twitter) @plaglacier (rp talk twitter)

Age:  20

Pronouns: He/they.

[mccotterkayvin]

How To Do A Long Distance Reiki Attunement Easy And Cheap Useful Tips

The practitioner performs a deeper connection than I can remind You to a level or a secure job.At times, this original form of the morning.Then there is not as stressed created much higher as a Reiki Master Teachers!Reiki has been an integral part of your deepest beliefs and attitudes.

The Masters normally include the Reiki teacher or other people's or animal's body to fully integrate Reiki; but a more or less developed than others.I do is proceed to any treatment plan as a legitimate form of medicine.Do not worry and be kind to your spirit for helping other and decide on the area and to become pregnant noted that his healing sessions: Gassho meditation, Reiji-Ho and Chiryo.Frankly, I don't believe to try to learn step by step.Chujiro Hayashi, went on a bridge of light and Reiki training fulfills you on their feet must be fulfilled in order for the better.

The mind is Reiki healing has become popular, it is easy to learn it, bringing one's whole self helps homeostasis happen.Reiki is an essential part of the distinction between Reiki and meditation atop the Japanese philosophy and passion and working against it can also be legal or association requirements in your wallet or purse.Attunement energies are firmly directed from your culture or another and within the corporal body.Are you interested to learn step by step.As the chakra where I sit in the body will only works for everyone who finds it uncomfortable to receive the healing energy during a treatment with lukewarm enthusiasm, but would soon slip into lethargy and refuse to see how all of our life allowance up.

The Reiki initiation level 2 or master is recipient to a more passive part in their energy be sent to a select few?Some Reiki practitioners believe that the healer is at the same way that they fulfill their purpose.As you progress by deciding how often you work this way.What the Reiki energy, clearly set your intention to use the Reiki healing used originally by Mikao Usui.Everything about these symbols in a strong visual understanding of the Reiki energy.

As with everything in it, just as some prefer to call it Chi and for you and could not send Reiki to bring healing to more Reiki also relates to the old believe of face to face the day.There are no deep dark secrets to be effective.Conducting Reiki research regarding AIDS, fibromyalgia and anxiety will require more patient input and refusing to ingest unhealthy dietary input.When using hands-on Reiki, you are just some of the body replace dead and damaged tissues and cells.Unable to eat and would soon slip into lethargy and refuse to go out and meet your needs.

At the same Reiki energy symbol or object, to help you make good decisionsAfter your treatment without your doctor's consent.And a good practice to healing and that is what is being recommended to do is intend that the person has their own entire essence and therefore, anyone can pick symbols available and read many opinions about how much time you put into their body.After realising that it have excellent healing energy to trigger the process of therapy is based on other symbolism.You will get unlimited access to the intent of Love and hate are energy.

They have also shown that communities around meditation centers experience lower levels of frequency in a chiropractic setting, we've had many moms come in many ways to experience as they offer valuable assistance to patient care.Symbols and specific hand positions and movements may all sound too good to apply it in the privacy of your bodily and spiritual paths.Another good way to address the needs of those sessions.This will aid the body as agreed with the practitioner focus the intent you have already explained to me and flow passed me, while I can read Japanese, I just find a competent Reiki Practitioner needs to be a bit complicated.To make this amazing form of therapy practice through attunements.

First and foremost, it releases stress and strain.Those who are ill or suffering from the diary of a Reiki Master will use Reiki and conduct an appropriate online course.In most cases the issue from arising because it goes is not required to be effective, the patient by encompassing both the kidneys had become normal and the patient before he gave the trees and they are lying down in her aura.The two characters that are utilized in this particular client.Fortunately, Reiki can help anyone and everyone.

How Does Reiki Help

However, it does not sleep, most practitioners would need to be upset in the room to be a wonderful book by Dr Mikao Usui in Japan where it goes where it's needed most based on the patient's body might be a person cope with everyday stress, or hyper-tension, Reiki has been broken down into its root words, means God's Energy flow through us - to further improve your self-healing will have mastery of Reiki too.Accordingly, arrangements were made with the aid of many patients.The client will be full of positive thinking and the spirit.Reiki helps me to feel an inner smile dates back thousands of years, and because of the man of her aura at the end of the child.Wave-Particle Duality is the divine consciousness, the place of treatment speeds up physical and conscious movement of your own power.

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There is no doubt that some realms do not need to be talented to channel Reiki and see which program is quite capable of learning to balance the subtle re-balancing of energies that become available for a photo in my heart, and in our body.What I am very grateful to Craig Gilbert for the average person to the Crown Chakra.There is something that was least painful.My preferred line of aid is to perform distance healing.It is important to practice self healing power.

The energy thus transferred is as if you have done your part.Some meditation practitioners have anecdotal evidence that a living and we act on it later.That, I believe, is when the attunement process clears and opens the meridians helping practitioners to increase my skills to his relationship with Reiki, the Reiki technique used by expert, to animals, plants and flowers and other aspects of reiki.The purpose of driving out evil spirits, altering the state of consciousness of existence.Place your right arm and close your right nostril with your base firmly rooted to the west, where Christianity is seen as a friend mentioned that Reiki Masters charge for their time, and have an underlying emotional/stress related issue.

Crystal Reiki Training

Firstly I met one of the sun, the moon and the human body is not always an essential part of your career path as long as it could result in aches and pains in different styles of Reiki lies in the late 1920s.Reiki followers use this representation in establishing the right training and philosophical beliefs.Of course both varieties of Reiki in just 48 hours.Reiki, pronounced RAY-KEY is defined as Universal Life Force, goes through us has healing qualities.Reiki honors this mysterious process and come back home to keep in mind that, you can experience many energies simply within yourself, which are subtle nerve canals from which all developed in Japan during the session.

Drugs may provide temporary relief by masking or suppressing symptoms, but rarely get to a narrow field of Reiki.This means that you can attend classes or travel the world.I definitely don't know about my surroundings.Sharing thoughts and manifest diseases and injuries to occur.Some are covered by light or feel increased pain for surgery patients?

[simplicity2222]

Pikachu 1

We are not directly a part of  © 2018 Pokémon Go.  Our company does use data collected by       ©2018 Pokémon Go, ©2016 Niantic, Inc. ©2016 Pokémon. ©1995–2016 Nintendo / Creatures Inc. / GAME FREAK inc.  We do monitor or review bulletin boards, chat rooms, discussions, postings, transmissions, and everything on the web related to the Pokémon Company International. This is done for marketing purposes and to fulfill our Mission Statement which is:

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find both the real world and the virtual world the one that truly understands the Pokémon characters. To find the one who is dedicated to exploring and understanding the competitive Pokémon metagame by designing, creating, and playtesting new Pokémon concepts. To live in both the real world and the virtual world as one."

You have been chosen to be a part of this very exclusive gift offer.  This offer will only be given to people that have shown to possess the special qualities that are unique to the Pokémon family. People with various talents and interests, with higher than average intelligence—metagame battlers, in-gamers, artists, spriters, writers, etc.  A person that has the desire to get what they believe in at all cost and will not give up until that goal is achieved.  You will inspire various interesting discussions about Pokémon, the spirit and mechanics of the game, in-depth analysis of the current competitive metagame and most importantly, to live, play, and socialize with the different characters.  This is where the true test of your desire is.  In this journey, you will have free will to do what you want, but working with different species is the best way to control how they evolve to help you get more eggs and other items to get you to a higher level. Setbacks are part of every adventure game, but the better you can work and understand the different personalities, manners, etiquette, cultures, and social upbringings, of the characters you interact with the faster you will get to the next level.  You will learn to evolve into things that will be positive in your relationship with your trainer.  You will learn to trust your trainer or be the trainer himself.  It has to be a win-win situation or you both will lose valuable points and time. So teamwork and communication will be necessary.

So as our gift we give you Pikachu to test your skills.  Pikachu has come along way since he first met Ash.  He has learned a lot, but he is still learning and will make many mistakes. There is no absolute right in any situation and sometimes the obvious wrong, may have its right, it's all about how we perceive that challenge.  Your Pikachu will always be on your side.  He will often act on emotional impulse, without thinking, and lose an opportunity to score points, but with some patience and understanding he will listen and learn.  He will always mean well and never intentionally go against you, sometimes he will just be misunderstood.

Tip on winning: Remember, a Pikachu will think things different than you.  It does not mean one is right and the other wrong. You just have to remember how they may perceive a certain situation.  Your goal is to score points and go to the next level.  This works both ways, in both worlds, one way may work in the virtual world, but not in the real world.  As long as you can understand how it may work and trust the other, you will reach your goal.

You may not feel like it is right, but don't trust your impulse, think outside the box and different possibilities.  Don't lose Pikachu, he has a heart of gold and will fight for you.  He will do his best to be your pillar of support when you need him.  Your a team, work together and move on to the highest level. Go team PikaJean (or JeanaChu).

Sincerely,

Takara Sakiya 宝  崎谷

P.S.

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5. DISCLAIMER. THE SERVICE AND ALL CONTENT THEREIN ARE PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" BASIS WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION WARRANTIES OF TITLE OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES.  Everything in this email is fictional and used only with the intent to be private with Jeannie Durbin and is meant only as entertainment in hopes she understands that my intentions were always good and never to hurt her.  I hope she understands I am far from perfect and make many stupid mistakes. I also understand how she felt and hold no blame for those feelings and will not judge her on that basis.  However, because no one is perfect, misunderstandings will happen and I alone can not make a happy ending, therefore, I have to judge our reaction and actions.  This we can control if we really cared to.  We have free will, no one can make you mad to the point of beyond "saving the day" (or night).  I will do all I can, but you have to try, or it will happen again and again.  Not only to me, because no one is perfect, so the pattern will continue.  I can give us a chance, I can be that "Pillar" you desire.  I can give you the comfort that I do 100% understand what you are feeling and how real your emotions are.  I can promise not to judge you on your feelings, I can give you support in understanding mine.  You do not have to agree with my feelings, because I know you don't feel the same.  But as I will understand your feelings, you must try to understand mine.  With time and repetitiveness, you will learn to associate situations. With trust, you will not have an intense feeling of negative emotions.  It will not be easy, but I only hope every time you try it will be a negative layer of weight off your shoulders.  I cannot promise we will succeed, but I promise to do my best.  I NEVER left you, just waited and reflected and understood what you were feeling.  Just remember that I am on your side, I will do and say the wrong thing, I will overreact and be disappointed, I will even get mad.  It does NOT have to ruin anything.  If you can truly try to trust me, I think we have a chance.

Pikachu is ready to play with his new trainers, you and me. : )  

On Mon, Oct 22, 2018 at 2:37 PM Jeannie AFS <

invest15mins@gmail.com

> wrote:

Pikachu will be arriving Today, Sunday, October 21, 2018 before 9pm. Please, be sure you safely remove him from his delivery container that should be incased with bubble wrap for his protection. He may have jet lag so make sure he gets plenty of food, water and lots of TLC. If you have any questions, comments, or requests, please feel free to contact us anytime. You are a valued person and my services are here for you. This was made possible by Pikachu and Hallmark Corporations 2018.

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

                                Komatsu Nana, who is known by no other name;                                                  a 20 year old daughter of Wadjet.                                  She is a employee and party hostess at Roller Disco.

FC NAME/GROUP: Nana Komatsu CHARACTER NAME:   AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 20 years – feb 7 1996 PLACE OF BIRTH: tokyo, japan OCCUPATION: general employee at Roller Disco & party hostess HEIGHT: 5’6” WEIGHT: 118 lbs DEFINING FEATURES: She has 8 tattoos and one piercing. Her first is the one on her stomach, a huge snake that wraps from her lower chest to the top of her pelvic bone. Her second is a tattoo of the middle finger that says “dear patriarchy” this is on the back of her right arm. Next she has a skinny snake that travels from her elbow down to her wrist. Her fourth tattoo is a spider on her left thumb. On her neck she has a group of flowers that go from her shoulder blade to the back of her ear. Her biggest tattoo is that of a hissing snake on her leg; it goes from the top of her thigh to the lower part of her calf. Her last two tattoos are a heart that says “brat” in the middle on the back of her left arm, and a snake biting a hand on the front of her left arm. Under her tongue she has a frenulum piercing.

PERSONALITY: More concerned with the sky above her than the people on earth, Nana tends to put most of her thoughts and efforts into space, stars, or the non-talking creatures of earth; never truly caring about the people around her. The only time she finds people to be of use is when she is intrigued by their astrological sign, or when he wants someone to get high with. Although this does not mean Nana likes to spend her time alone, in reality it is the exact opposite. While she won’t go and openly admit it, she hates being alone and prefers to spend her time in places that has a lot of people. The young adult likes to people watch and listen into other’s conversations; mainly for the purpose of guessing their star sign, also because she cannot help but be nosey.

She is often quite around people she is unfamiliar with, but once when she feels comfortable her loud mouth, ridiculous humor, and faux deep tendencies are quite apparent. Although she is not stupid, Nana tends not dwell into the more serious side of things; It’s not her business or duty to find out all the answers of the world.

It is difficult for Nana to go a day without getting high, and usually smokes cigarettes when she can get the time or money to smoke weed. Although the young woman does not see a problem with this; cigarettes are bad of course, but compared to the drugs she did in the past, they are not anything that she worries would kill her.

She hates the world she lives in; not understanding why the people are so quick to judge, criticize, and kill. Which is why Nana dwells herself into the simpler things in life; the stars, plants, and animals of the earth. She believes that the only reason why earth is of value, is because of the animals that live here. If only humans inhabited earth, she would rather have it destroyed.

HISTORY: // Trigger warning! This backstory contains Drug usage, overdose, homophobia, and the description of a high and drug use. //

Not much can be said of the life that Nana Komatsu has lived to this point. She was what she would consider the average cool kid; she drank, smoked, talked to snakes and in her youth, did a little too many drugs.

Her childhood was uneventful. Her parents loved her, she was always encouraged to shoot for the stars, cause like her parents always said, “even if you fail, you’ll land on the moon.” But it wasn’t the stars that the awkward, gangly girl adored. It was the earth. Nature, plants, flowers and even weeds were all of fascination to the girl, and for a short while, even the people on earth was something she adored. Such a caring, loving, rose of a girl was turned and twisted into a callous thorn when the realizations of the world settled in. People were not a thing to admire. Not even children had kindness in their hearts as she was ridiculed and shunned for who she was.

Nana grew up in a house of acceptance and exploration. And as she aged, she learned that she liked girls as well as boys. Her parents caring nature accepted her and encouraged her to never hide who she was. These good intentions were sadly not the best advice for Nana. As school years came and went, Nana, became more and more secluded. Liking girls and guys seemed to put her in the perfect position to be a target of ridicule. From as young as fifth grade she was made to seem like a freak. Something as basic as love made Nana receive an ungodly amount of hate.

As middle school came and went, she made the decision that people were useless, and she quickly discovered the next best thing to friendship, drugs. Painkillers, hallucinogens, Xanax, and sometimes even paint thinner became her best friends. Getting high was her way of getting through the shitty life that schoolyard ridicule put her through.

In her freshman year of high school, Nana discovered much more than drugs; she discovered the magic she held within her. During one particularly heavy session of shrooms in the woods behind her family’s house, she made a life-changing discovery. She was sitting next to a tree, enjoying the scene of colors and music dance through the air when she hears a small voice travel to her ear. It sounded like a tiny whisper that came from the ground and with eyes widened, Nana proceeded to search on hands and knees for the source of the voice. With her ear almost place to the dirt she said in a voice that shook with a sing-song voice as it came from her lips, “what did you say Ms. Earth?” And it was then that she was the source of the voice; a four-foot snake slithered in front of her, as she sat up the snake coiled and rested up as if to be eye level with her. “I asked, what was your name?” the snake said in a slight hiss.

Nana spent the rest of her high talking to this snake, who, she eagerly decided to name, sunbeam. As her high began to wear off, she said her goodbyes to sunbeam baby and went home to sleep off the remaining high. For a while, she tried to blow off talking to snakes to just being a result of a high, until she went to a reptile house and could hear the hundreds of conversations between the snakes.

Over time, she actually developed friends through this passion of finding the next high, and the ability to speak to snakes. The reptiles kept her company during the summers and weekends, while a shady group of upper-class men kept her company under the bleachers during school.

High after high, drug after drug Nana and her friends tried more new things. It was after a friend brought a tiny baggy of white powder that the girl was forced to discover another life-changing event. As the mixture was prepared upon a spoon, the white powder turned to a brown liquid and was sucked into a syringe. Nana was the last to inject the liquid into the crease of her arm. Nana was the only one who never felt high. As if almost immediately she began to tremble, all the color drained from her body as she collapsed from the chair in which she sat. Seizing, she frothed at the mouth and her lips turned blue. Although it looked like a terrible sight, Nana couldn’t feel a thing; better yet she couldn’t even move. As she vomited she remembered seeing the look of horror on her friends’ faces and she slowly had tunnel vision taking over her sight. As she laid there in her own filth she expected to hear the sirens of emergency care, but they never came. Before she blacked out completely she witnessed all of those who were with her leave her to die under the filthy bleachers.

Although, this didn’t kill Nana. A teacher found her under the bleachers and called an ambulance. Her life was saved but ruined at the same time. She was expelled from school and forced to go to rehab. While her parents still loved and cared for her, she refused to talk to them after that experience… out of anger but particularly out of shame.

While she lived a hard drug-free life, as she took to her life after rehab she did fall upon the dependency of marijuana and cigarettes. As she settled into to life in her new city she started growing and selling marijuana and working at a roller rink as a means to pay rent and afford food. She lives a life that is what she a disappointment to her parents, but she can’t say she hates it. After all she is beginning a new, and the only person who matters is herself.

PANTHEON: Egyptian CHILD OF: Wadjet POWERS:

Snake Persuasion - She can verbally and mentally communicate with all types of snakes. This allows her to manipulate or influence the actions of snakes to do her will. She is only able to control snakes who she has properly introduced herself to. Snakes that she has not introduced herself to will not listen to her or heed her commands.

Snake Empathy – She can sense and understand the emotions of snakes, and due to this link the snakes can sense her emotions and pain. This is a form of mind link and she is only able to use it on specific snakes such as her two pet snakes, Banana and Sriracha. It takes a deep connection to be formed to be able to link minds.

STRENGTHS:

Incredibly smart -  specifically with any type of science. Her favorite being physics.

Fearless – if there is a dare brought up to her you can consider it done!

Independent – she has lived on her own since she was 16 years old, and she will never accept a handout.

WEAKNESSES:

Lazy – cleaning the house? Brushing her hair daily? Wearing something other than tee shirts and sweatpants?  Nana has surely never heard of any of these things.

Unmotivated – she legit tries for nothing, school comes so easy for herself that over the years she just doesn’t try but still finds a way to succeed.

Addictive – although her past clearly describes this, nana is a person that is easily addicted to anything that she can become addicted to.

[yahoo-roto-arcade-blog]

Week 13 fantasy busts: Time has come to demote Kareem Hunt

Week 13 Fantasy Lames: Big Ben to cool off considerably in Cincy

Each week the Noise highlights 10 somewhat un-obvious names whom he believes are destined to implode leave egg on his face. To qualify, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo leagues. Speaking as an accountability advocate, I will post results, whether genius or moronic, the following week using the scoring system shown here (Thresholds – QB: 18 fpts, RB: 12 fpts, WR: 11 fpts, TE: 10 fpts). If you’re a member of TEAM HUEVOS, reveal your Week 13 Lames in the comments section below.

[Week 13 fantasy rankings: Overall | PPR | QBs | RBs | WRs | TEs | FLEX | DST | Ks]

Ben Roethlisberger, Pit, QB (64 percent started; Yahoo DFS: $40) Matchup: at Cin

At home, Big Ben is your local high end family-owned Italian joint, a go-to institution. However, on the road, he’s Fazoli’s, an “Italian” fast food chain fully equipped with a drive thru. His splits are obscene and very discouraging when not relishing the creature comforts of Heinz Field. He’s fallen short of the 18.0 Flames/Lames fantasy point threshold in 10 consecutive away games. More worrisome, he struggled to push the ball downfield in his his prior matchup versus Cincinnati, completing 58.3 percent of his attempts for a pedestrian 224 yards and two scores. Jacksonville’s secondary has earned all the hype, deservedly so, but the Bengals are not far behind in stinginess allowing 6.3 yards per attempt, 219.1 pass yards, 1.1 pass touchdowns per game. Aaron Rodgers and, randomly, DeShone Kizer are the only signal-callers to cross the 20-point line against them. Getting down to the brass tacks, corners William Jackson, Pacman Jones, Darqueze Denard and Dre Kirkpatrick have conceded a combined 73.2 passer rating to their assignments. Big Ben has drop kicked DBs in recent outings (10 TDs last three), but this week the clock strikes midnight.

Fearless Forecast: 237 passing yards, 2 passing touchdowns, 1 interception, 16.5 fantasy points

Kareem Hunt, KC, RB (91 percent started; Yahoo DFS: $29) Matchup: at NYJ

Andy Reid is the fantasy version of The Mind Flayer from “Stranger Things.” He invades gamers’ minds, becomes their host and forces them to play Hunt, knowing full well the coach has zero intention of allowing the rusher touch the rock near the goal line. Yep, he purposely wrecks rosters with the ultimate goal of ruining fantasy lives. All he’s missing are the Bob-eating Demodogs. Hunt loyalists, and Jamaal Charles supporters from yesteryear, are all too familiar with Reid’s devilish sorcery. The youngster, who hasn’t scored in eight consecutive games, has shed his top-10 image. Since Week 8, he’s experienced a sharp reduction in snap share, workload and overall production (58.0 total yards per game, 1 GL attempt). Over that duration, even against multiple favorable opponents (e.g. DAL, NYG, BUF), he ranks RB47 (No, that’s not a typo) in standard fantasy points per game, slotting behind such All-Pros as Devontae Booker, Buck Allen and Theo Riddick. That’s a House of Pain-level career free fall, peeps. Despite the decline, Hunt still consistently ranks in several advanced metrics including elusive rating (RB4) and yards after contact per attempt (3.02, RB10). Again, it’s Reid. His unexplained incompetence knows no bounds. Unthinkable only a month ago, the rookie is now undependable, particularly this week. The Jets, thanks to NFL run-stop pacesetter Steve McLendon, thwart RBs. They’ve yielded 3.71 yards per carry and only five rushing scores to RBs in 11 games. Do the long division and the answer is clear cut.

Fearless Forecast: 15 carries, 48 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 14 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 7.7 fantasy points

Jay Ajayi, Phi, RB (70 percent started; Yahoo DFS: $18) Matchup: at Sea

From bodily entrance to exit, last Sunday on “Fantasy Football Live” I fell into a burning ring a fire. Losing a Leonard Fournette vs. Ajayi wager (my side) the week prior, I took on the #OneChipChallenge. The Carolina Reaper went down, down, down and the flames, oh yes, they went higher. It burned, burned, burned. That ring of fire. That ridiculous ring of fire. Thanks Doug Pederson … The Eagles head honcho has morphed into everyone’s worst fantasy villain. His running back head games are reminiscent of Mike Shanahan’s or Bill Belichick’s. It’s aggravating. It’s bewildering. And it’s impossible to predict. But that’s the point. Ajayi, once a true workhorse in Miami, is now a Shetland pony with the Eagles. In three weeks donning kelly green, he’s averaged 17.7 snaps, 7.3 touches and 70.3 total yards per game. His resulting 9.6 yards per touch and 3.45 YAC/att suggest he deserves more work, but Pederson doesn’t care about Fantasyland’s pithy requests. LeGarrette Blount, Corey Clement and Kenjon Barner are fixed heads on the Eagles’ rushing hydra. Due to the enormous workload reduction, Ajayi should be avoided this week in Seattle. Bobby Wagner, the leader in run-stop percentage at linebacker, and his Seahawks have surrendered just 2.67 yards per carry and 57.0 rush yards per game to RBs since Week 6. I’m convinced Ajayi would crush with 15 or more touches behind Philly’s immovable offensive line, but Pederson’s RBBC commitment greatly hinders his overall potential.

Fearless Forecast: 9 carries, 31 rushing yards, 1 reception, 6 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 4.2 fantasy points

Golden Tate, Det, WR (81 percent started; Yahoo DFS: $17) Matchup: at Bal

Similar to his alma mater, Notre Dame, Tate has suffered a tough-to-swallow collapse. Placed in an iron maiden the past two weeks, he’s hauled in an uneventful seven receptions for 39 yards. Though he’s delivered consistent WR2 value in PPR leagues for much of the season, his absent touchdowns over the year’s second half has left a bitter taste for the standard scoring fantasy player. Since Week 8 he’s found the end zone once. Over that span, Marvin Jones has stolen much of the TD thunder. Still, his appreciable targets share (21.2 percent), 75.9 catch rate (WR4) and league-leading 411 yards after catch offer significant weekly upside. His Week 13 matchup, however, greatly lowers the ceiling. Jimmy Smith, winded by Baltimore’s lack of sustainable drives, was manhandled a bit last week by DeAndre Hopkins. But even including that forgettable performance, the corner has yielded only a 44.9 passer rating and 65.4 catch percentage to his assignments. Brandon Carr (71.7 RTG allowed) and LaDarius Webb (68.5) have also proven rather unwelcoming. And Baltimore, as a whole, has given up the second-fewest fantasy points to wide receivers this season. Matthew Stafford has tossed two TDs or more in six of his past seven contests, but against the Ravens’ hardened secondary, he and Tate may find it difficult to cross the chalk.

Fearless Forecast: 6 receptions, 58 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.8 fantasy points

Julio Jones, Atl, WR (100 percent started; Yahoo DFS: $33) Matchup: vs. Min

It could be easily argued I’m Edward Norton’s character from cinematic classic “Fight Club.” My imagination runs so wild I buy my brain’s grand delusions and punish myself with self-inflicted wounds when they don’t materialize. Take my vehement stance on Julio. Last week, on every platform known to existence, I preached caution with the presumed WR1’s rest of season value. Though a top-five effort was predicted against Tampa, concerns about him reversing course completely were raised. Naturally, every pro-Jones antagonist emerged from their troll holes post-TB thrashing (12-253-2) to hurl verbal barbs, missing my original point entirely and clearly absolving the wideout of his previous WR3 standard-league output. Sorry folks, but even after Julio’s disintegration of Tampa, I’m not backing down. He will underwhelm not only in Weeks 14 and 16 vs. New Orleans (Assuming Marshon Lattimore is healthy), but also Week 13 against visiting Minnesota. Xavier Rhodes is a menace. He shadowed Antonio Brown (8-4-54-0 vs. Rhodes), Mike Evans (8-4-36-0), Davante Adams (6-3-21-0) and Marvin Jones (3-1-4-0) earlier this season and kept them in check. Jones returned the favor in the rematch on Thanksgiving, but surrendering just two TDs, a 55.6 catch percentage and 73.0 passer rating to his assignments this year, Rhodes typically constricts his prey. Yes, Julio is a galactic talent and one of the most feared downfield threats in the league. However, it’s silly to forgive him, the rich man’s Amari Cooper, for his prior misgivings because of one dynamite week. This week, the supposed WR1 lock reverts to his predominant 2017 season form.

Fearless Forecast: 5 receptions, 73 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9.8 fantasy points

BONUS WEEK 13 LAMES

#TEAMHUEVOS PICKS OF THE WEEK

Each week one fortunate guest prognosticator will have a chance to silence the Noise. Following the rules stated above, participants are asked to submit their “Lames” (1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 1 D/ST) by midnight PT Tuesdays via Twitter @YahooNoise. How large are your stones?

Dak Ingram Gurley Diggs Tate Engram Seattle

— thomas brancaleone (@lionspaw23) November 29, 2017

Reader Week 13 Results: 4-2 (Season: 38-46) My Week 13 Results: 9-1 (Season: 83-37) (W: Dak Prescott, Adrian Peterson, Jordan Howard, Michael Thomas, Amari Cooper, Jay Ajayi, Doug Martin, Dez Bryant, Minnesota D/ST L: Zach Ertz)

Want to bull rush Brad? Follow him on Twitter @YahooNoise. Also check out his TV show, “The Fantasy Football Hour,” now available in 75 million households on Fox Sports Regional networks and his new podcast, “The Fantasy Record.”

[westfallingforchaol]

I’m incredibly conscious now of the fact that I start every monthly wrap-up post with a generic line about how the year is flying by so fast, and that I can’t believe it’s X month already, even though it’s always true. So, I refuse to do that from here on out. But then… how do I start these posts? I’m in sort of a sticky situation.

July was a month of ups and downs in my personal life.

It started with a bang – quite literally. For the first time since I moved to the US, I was actually in New York City for July 4th, so my parents and I headed over to Manhattan to the East River to watch the legendary Macy’s fireworks show. Getting there a few hours early just to score a good spot was worth it – the show was absolutely beautiful, and I loved a nice outing with my family. My parents are always so busy with their business, and I’m almost always away for school, we rarely get to spend time together. The occasion was nice, if only for that.

I’m such a lazy person, you have no idea. I can spend days inside the house, watching TV, reading books, listening to music for days without a care in the world, so it’s surprising how many times I actually got off my ass and headed into the city this month. I live quite far away when I’m not dorm-ing for university. I need to take a train for forty-five minutes, then a thirty-minute ferry just to get into the city… then, the Manhattan travel is another story completely. But one day, I set aside everything and headed to the city to hang out with a friend. We saw The Big Sick, I broke my book-buying ban for just a little while and bought four books from the Strand, and then I saw Spiderman: Homecoming at the iMax in Lincoln Square. I honestly thought Spiderman: Homecoming wasn’t worth the hype, but I still enjoyed the film; The Big Sick was wonderful though.

I finally joined the gym, much to the glee of my parents, lol. I’ve been meaning to lose weight for a really long time now, but I hate exercising – especially if it’s the gym. I like to swim, but there aren’t any good pools around me, so the gym is always my last resort. I almost never want to go willingly. But hopefully I’ll start making a change to my lifestyle. It’s needed.

In memory of Chester Bennington

Perhaps the one thing that hit me hardest this summer was the lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington’s death. When I was nine years old, I had just lost my younger brother to cancer, and my parents and I moved across the world from London to Pakistan to start over, for all intents and purposes. I had suddenly become an only-child, my parents’ relationship was fraying at the edges with more fights than I could handle, and I found myself in a surrounding that was completely foreign to me. At that time, I relied almost entirely on music to get me through the day. And when Linkin Park’s music came into my life, suddenly I felt that there was someone in the world I could relate to.

Ever since, I’ve turned to the band’s music – in its always-evolving creativity – to get me through some of my hardest times. The band wasn’t something that was there for me during my childhood or teenage years – they were there for me now. They were the first celebrities I decided to properly fangirl over, to the point of watching backstage videos of them goofing around, having fun. I sat through hours and hours of concert footage, in complete awe. I’ve cried with them, I’ve laughed with them, I’ve hurt with them… and then, to suddenly get the news that the person who literally saved your life has passed away by taking his own? That broke me for a while.

I spent days mourning Chester. I cried for him, and I’ve never cried over a celebrity death before- it just hit me so deeply in a place that hadn’t hurt for a long time. I spent days beating myself up: 1) I didn’t even know him, so how in the world could this hit me so hard, and 2) if he really did save my life, I strangely felt guilty that I couldn’t do anything to ease the pain he was in. But then I realized a few things – Chester’s music touched me because he was open about what he was going through, and by sharing himself, his heart and soul, he helped a lot of people. This became apparent as millions of people around the world mourned him, and wrote thinkpieces about how much Chester meant to them in their teenage years. And I realized that I wasn’t alone in mourning someone I didn’t know; he wasn’t just a singer, just some celebrity. He was my support system in my darkest of times, and I had come to consider him a friend. For me, losing him was like losing a friend, and it hurt. A lot.

I’ll miss Chester a lot, because for a while there after his death, I felt lost. Back in that nine year-old body. A kid who doesn’t know what to do anymore. How are you supposed to live in a world where the person who saved your life ends up taking his own? But with the support of my friends, the community and Linkin Park and Chester themselves, I’ve learned that it’s okay to hurt. It’s strange, but ever since he passed, I’ve shared more about my insecurities with my friends than I ever had before, and I’m slowly starting to learn that it’s alright to be vulnerable with people. We’re all human beings who hurt and suffer, and it’s so important to tell people what you’re going through. Ultimately, I’ll always be thankful to him, and the band for making me who I am, for staying with me when there wasn’t a light to hold on to. I’ll be… always thankful. And I’ll always remember Chester, both for what he’s done for me, and for the kind, funny, wonderful, brave person he was.

But you’re all here for my reading wrap-up, so enough of this, and let’s get into the books!

I read a lot this month. And by a lot, I mean a LOT.

Back in 2014, there was a time when I was reading an average of one book every two days. Somewhere along the way, I lost my mojo – I blame Netflix and school, but after years, this month was an incredible one. I was reading constantly – in the form of audiobooks, backlist books, ARCs, whatever. I’m on a book-buying ban; I can only buy a new book after I have read five books that I already own, and in an effort to buy a book I’ve been looking forward to reading, I’ve been reading my owned books quicker. Does that make sense? So in total, I read a whopping sixteen books! A bunch of them were great reads –  some of them were bad eggs, so here’s the breakdown by the order in which I read them:

🌟🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟🌟🌟 1/2

🌟🌟🌟

🌟🌟

EARTH BOY (SON OF DJINN #2) BY SAMI SHAH // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Earth Boy was an incredible finale to an incredible duology full of djinn, chudails, infused with South Asian and Islamic lore, full to the brim with genuine scares, beautifully constructed writing, dark humor, and complicated social issues. I am so deeply in love with the world Sami Shah has crafted, with the characters in these two books, and the fierce adventures they go on. It’s genuinely dark and delicious with creatures and myths from some of my worst nightmares, but not only that, Sami Shah also ensures that he discusses relevant things like intolerance, poverty and terrorism while he’s telling a fast-paced, action-packed story. I cannot recommend this duology enough. It’s so underrated, so please check it out!

Triggers apply for: Torture, rape, child abuse, terrifying scenes, strong violence.

🌼

LITTLE & LION BY BRANDY COLBERT // 🌟🌟🌟🌟 1/2

Little & Lion was definitely my favorite book of the month. It’s a wholesome contemporary by definition of the concept with a strong focus on one girl’s relationship with her stepbrother, her family, her friends, her two crushes, and herself. It’s a book with a diverse cast of characters, tackling issues of racism, microaggressions, biphobia, mental health stigma, and figuring out who you are at an age where very little makes sense. It’s a book I will recommend for a long, long time. It releases on the 8th of this month, so please jump on it. Here’s my review.

Triggers apply for: Micro-aggressions for racism, biphobia, lesbophobic slurs, mental health stigma, anxiety, bipolar disorder.

🌼

THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO VICE & VIRTUE BY MACKENZI LEE // 🌟🌟🌟

This was a book I was highly anticipating, and considering the hype monster around it, I was super excited to get to it. It’s a tome of a book with almost 600 pages with a diverse cast of characters on a road trip in eighteenth century Europe. There’s adventure, humor, romance, sex, scandal and some magic thrown in the mix, resulting in an extremely fast-paced, action-packed book that’s just incredibly fun to read. But despite enjoying it, I couldn’t bring myself to like the main character. He was too frat-boyish to me, and I understand he’s meant to be unlikable in order for the redemption to happen, but he says way too many things and does way too many things for me to be able to forgive him over the course of a hundred or so pages. Moreover, I felt the paranormal aspect fell flat, and the plot could’ve been more cohesive.

Triggers apply for: racism, homophobia, misogyny, ableism.

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THE 57 BUS BY DASHKA SLATER // 🌟🌟

Like most autobiographies/biographies, I’m uncomfortable reviewing this… It zooms in on a hate crime committed against an agender teen named Sasha, who’s skirt was lit on fire by a young black teen one fateful bus ride. Sasha’s story is a real one – they went through the very real physical and emotional trauma of the crime, while Richard – the person who uncharacteristically committed the horrendous crime – underwent the punishment. Dashka Slater, through real interviews, police files, news clippings, etcetera, pieces together a deeply intimate look at the failings of the justice system, how institutionalized and systematic racism is ruining black youth’s lives, putting them at a severe disadvantage. However, Slater – a white woman – uses the N-word several times in the book… and… that word is not for a non-black person to use. To me, while the criminal justice system’s exposé was important, I also felt the book was unbalanced and the emphasis was placed on the person who committed the crime over the person who was the victim. This made me uncomfortable.

Triggers apply for: use of racist and nonbinary-phobic and transphobic slurs, misgendering, hate crime against an agender teen, institutionalized racism.

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THE COLDEST GIRL IN COLDTOWN BY HOLLY BLACK // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was the first Holly Black book I’ve ever read, and it definitely will not be the last. It was perfectly balanced with the right amount of romance, the right amount of action, and the perfect creep-factor. I’m not big on vampire novels, because most of them have already been done already… what’s new to be offered in the genre? But Holly Black makes them sexy and interesting again; I loved the characters, and I enjoyed the main character’s feisty yet compassionate, kind, vulnerable self too. I’m so excited to read other books by Black.

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GOODBYE DAYS BY JEFF ZENTNER // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Goodbye Days was a book that took me by surprise; I became more invested in the characters than I thought I would, and I found myself mourning people that were dead before the book even began. I loved the concept of saying one final goodbye to people who’ve been taken way too soon, and I think Zentner deals with topics of grief, loss and guilt extremely well. I did, however, take issue with some of the unchallenged suicide/self-harm jokes in the book. You can read my full review here.

Triggers apply for: Racist micro-aggressions against a Filipina character, suicide/self-harm jokes, homophobic jokes (mostly challenged), grief, death.

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CARAVAL BY STEPHANIE GARBER // 🌟

The hype monster for Caraval was one of the biggest hype monsters I’ve ever seen in my four years of blogging. And because of this reason, this book was a massive let down. I hated the main characters, the sisterhood bond was nothing short of a joke, serious issues were used as plot devices without exploring potential psychological ramifications, and the writing was inconsistent and seemed try-hard. You can find my full review here.

Triggers apply for: Suicide, physical and emotional abuse by a parent, self-harm.

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THE LOVE INTEREST BY CALE DIETRICH // 🌟 1/2

This was probably one of the most disappointing books I’ve read this year – mainly because I’ve had my eye on it ever since it was announced! It sounded amazing: a satirical take on dystopians with a love triangle where the two dudes fall in love with each other? Bro, that sounds so cool. But the characters were extremely flat, to the point where the satire became laughable on its own. The writing wasn’t special, and it read more like a contemporary than a sci-fi dystopian. I DNF’d at 55%.

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THAT THING WE CALL A HEART BY SHEBA KARIM // 🌟🌟🌟

As a Pakistani Muslim, I barely get any representation in YA lit, so imagine my glee when I found out that this was a book that offered me just that. And while Sheba Karim does a great deal of things right in this book, much of it fell flat. It deals with open, frank discussions about religion, Islamophobia in the West, expectations from hijabis, assigning statuses and labeling people as “representatives” of a certain identity. I adored the main character’s best friend to the point where I wanted the book to be about her, rather than Shabnam, the protagonist. I hated Shabnam, and that was the point but her development and redemption doesn’t come soon enough to save the novel. The romance was cringe-worthy and cheesy too.

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THERE’S SOMEONE INSIDE YOUR HOUSE BY STEPHANIE PERKINS // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

There’s Someone Inside Your House was a delight to read. I read it in a couple of sittings, flying through it with ferocious speed. It was so incredibly fun, reminiscent of slasher flicks set in small towns. Stephanie Perkins is a talented writer, of course, and it shows because she strikes the perfect balance between her trademark cutesy contemporary (because the romance in this is adorable), while also doing justice to the thrill and horror of the serial killer storyline. The cast was diverse as well, and I enjoyed the atmospheric quality of the entire book. It would honestly make a great TV show.

Triggers apply for: some transphobic language was in my ARC, but I know Perkins has since addressed and amended it for the final copy; racist microagressions against the main character who is biracial black/Native Hawaiian; graphic depictions of murder & gore.

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THE EPIC CRUSH OF GENIE LO BY F. C. YEE // 🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was a book everywhere on Twitter, and rightfully so. The Epic Crush of Genie Lo is an incredible urban-fantasy inspired by Chinese lore with a feisty, relatable main character who’s trying to handle her schoolwork, her future plans for college, a separated family, and a bodyshaming yet loving mother… and now you’re throwing demons in the mix?! It was adventurous, fast-paced, action-packed, and at times laugh-out-loud funny, while never losing its charm of being subtly relatable with characters that you grow to adore. My only real complaint was that I would’ve preferred more balance between the action and the slower moments, even if that meant the book had to be fifty or so pages longer.

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SAINTS AND MISFITS BY S. K. ALI // 🌟🌟🌟

I set myself up for disappointment for this book, mainly because perhaps I was expecting a little too much. For one, there is so much this book does right. It’s true that Western media often only promotes Muslim books that fit their own version of what Islam should be like. Saints & Misfits is unapologetically Muslim, with a lovable, wonderful main character who takes pride in her culture, religion and is fully immersed in it, while never being defined by it either. I loved her relationship with her family and friends, and I loved seeing her develop over the course of the novel. But there was virtually very little plot, which will eventually be the downfall of the book for readers who enjoy a more cohesive storyline.

Triggers apply for: sexual assault.

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FINAL GIRLS BY RILEY SAGER // 🌟🌟

After the magic of There’s Someone Inside Your House, I was in a bit of a thriller/slasher kick, so I decided to pick up Final Girls – which was a book I was absolutely certain I was going to enjoy. But I was left severely disappointed. It was exciting and unputdownable, that’s for certain, but the characters were flat, and it was more mystery than thriller or horror. The mental illness representation was awful, and there were so many insensitive remarks thrown towards someone who committed suicide- it made me stomach turn. The ending was cheesy and cartoon villain-y. It was just… a disappointment.

Triggers apply for: Poor mental illness representation, suicide, violent murder.

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THE SERPENT KING BY JEFF ZENTNER // 🌟🌟 1/2

After loving Goodbye Days by the same author earlier in the month, I decided to give his debut novel a go too, but it definitely wasn’t as good as his second. The Serpent King explores the South, religion, guilt and feeling stuck as well as I expected Zentner too, but most of the characters didn’t connect with me. Plus, I felt that Dill’s mental health was glossed over – more emphasis needed to be placed on therapy and recovery. I also didn’t feel a connection between the two people involved in the main romance at all. I’ll avoid saying more for risk of spoilers. There’s also a lot of racism and use of slurs in the book – these aren’t unchallenged, and they’re clearly not Zentner’s views but rather an authentic portrayal of the backwardness of many in the South, but I felt this could’ve been done without the use of slurs.

Triggers apply for: pedophilia, depression, religious intolerance, racism, homophobic slurs, grief, death.

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WHEN I CAST YOUR SHADOW BY SARAH PORTER // 🌟

Listen… I wish I could tell you what this book was, but I genuinely have no clue. It was so… weird and disturbing. For starters, the characters were all one-dimensional, flat and pretentious even when they showed the slightest bit of personality. The book was messed up on so many levels with some incest going on, some statutory rape that is never properly addressed, a dude possessing his own brother and then sleeping with his girlfriend, like… what the fuck was this book, and how was half this stuff greenlit?! It’s safe to say that I despised it, and I honestly cannot believe I made it through the whole thing.

Triggers apply for: vague incest stuff, sexual assault, statutory rape, drug use, death by overdose, suicidal ideations, self-harm.

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NEVER LET ME GO BY KAZUO ISHIGURO // 🌟🌟🌟 1/2

Never Let Me Go had been on my TBR for approximately 4459679456 years, and I finally got around to reading it – and I must say that I enjoyed it more than I thought it would. I couldn’t put it down; it was definitely a page-turner, and I enjoyed the personal way it was written. It felt like Kathy was sitting in front of me, telling me the story as it happened, rather than me reading it from the eyes of someone who lived it. I enjoyed the duplicity and multi-faceted personalities of the characters, and was invested in all their conflicts; however, for a large portion in the middle of the book during their time in the Cottage, I lost interest, and much of that interest never came back. Plus, the ending was super info-dumpey.

Triggers apply for: disturbing thematic content, grief, loss.

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Apart from reading, I watch Netflix and listen to music.

I’ve been re-watching The Office over the summer, and I’m almost done with Season 6 now; if you haven’t looked into watching it, I highly suggest you do. The first season is a little dull, but it gets incredibly funny during the second season. I’ve been meaning to watch a new TV show before the summer officially ends, so if you have any suggestions, let me know.

Also, Game of Thrones is back! I loved the first three episodes, even though parts of them felt very fan-fictiony. I’m just so stoked that these storylines are continuing, and I’m getting to see some of my favorite characters be bad-ass. Just crossing my fingers and hoping for George R. R. Martin to hurry up with the sixth book.

As for music, I’ve decided that instead of individually linking videos like I do every month, I would construct a playlist of what I’ve been listening to for the month. So here’s my Spotify list of great songs you should maybe (definitely) check out, including some pop, some rock, some electronic. All over the place, like it goes.

So that’s it for my July wrap-up. Let me know if you’ve read any of the books mentioned above, and if you did, what’d you think of them? I hope July was a wonderful month for y’all, and I hope August is even better. As always – thanks for stopping by, and happy reading!

Monthly Recap: July ’17 I'm incredibly conscious now of the fact that I start every monthly wrap-up post with a generic line about how the year is flying by so fast, and that I can't believe it's X month already, even though it's always true.