#also anon sorry this got long u uh

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Iam looking at your phoenixverse laxus design with both eyes OPEN 👁👁 but now im so curiojz as to what else the phoenixverse has to offer. PLEASE tell me youve got any headcanons about how zeref refived natsu. Like any thoughts at all on that?

Ohohohohohohohohohoho anon my guy my dude, my man (genderless) I am about to speak. Pull up a fuckin chair bro. Also puttin this under read more because uh, long lol

This is actually one of my favourite things to think about regarding Natsu (apart from yknow, END lol) and Zeref because it is such an interesting little story point.

For Natsu, the interest comes from the fact that he's not who he thought he was. Natsu's always confident about his identity, he's quick to announce who and what he is in a situation and he's proud of who he is. The knowledge that yeah sure, you are Natsu Dragneel, but uh Natsu's not who you think he is buddy- that Natsu, in some way died so many centuries ago but was pulled back and reshaped, reborn- repackaged even- into you in a body that you thought was human but is some almagamation of that and more? All tied to a book? Can he still say with confidence that he is Natsu Dragneel when he hardly knew the truths about himself? And if sayin that is even true when he could easily just be something molded to look like what Zeref lost? (Ofc we the readers know otherwise but imagine the dilemna man) The reality of it would've- should've- been earth shattering. It would've been an identity crisis and then some.

For Zeref, oh man. Zeref's whole thing stems from the fact that he loves Natsu. He loves Natsu so much (and his parents too i guess) that when the tragedy struck and he lost everything, it fucked him up. He just couldn't deal with the incredibly unfair hand that life dealt him that he was willing to turn the world on its head and essentially change the course of fioran history to try and undo what happened to him. To save something from his old life that he loved.

But heres the thing about Zeref's love. It's twisted. It's fucked up. It's dark.

Working years, decades- possibly even centuries- on the single minded task of reviving his brother (and why just Natsu? Why not the parents well? Why only the younger sibling? Did he intend to bring them all back but became single minded on just his brother?) could lead to obsession. Obsession with making him perfect, no longer just as a human but more than that. Stronger so he won't be killed as easily. Obsession with keeping him close, tying him to his soul in such a way that if Zeref goes, Natsu goes as well. Making sure that he's pulling the strings that when it comes to, when he finally closes his eyes at the hands of his brother, he has a comfort in knowing that his brother is going with him and he won't be left alone, like what his very first tragedy did to him. (Plus also making Natsu, his creation that he brought to life, kill him would be a back stab at Ankhserham. Because the god cursed him for fucking around with life and death, so having his demon kill him would be Zeref controlling the life he chose to create and determining his own death. It'd be a last gotcha).

Zeref may have loved Natsu enough to bring him back, and he still loves him in a way, but it's messed up. Because the whole ordeal of everything messed him up.

But I digress, this is just side stuff, your question really. How did Zeref really bring Natsu back?

Now since you asked specifically for phoenixverse, i can get a lil bit loose with canon details and not feel as restricted.

So we have our hard facts- Natsu and Parents die in Zeref's youth, Zeref fucks around tryna undo their deaths and finds out by getting cursed for doing this, then proceeds to use the curse to his advantage and over an undisclosed amount of time to create his demons and what not.

'Undisclosed amount of time' being the key thing here.

Canon implies that the time between Natsu's death, Zeref getting cursed and Zeref reviving Natsu happened within a relatively close period of time. And if it's anything I love, it's spacing out events.

I'd like to think that between the loss of his family and when he gets cursed is a decent gap of time, like a decade or so to really push the fact that he's so fixated on the loss. Then after getting the curse he sets to work of reviving Natsu over the course of decades to almost a century and a half.

(Am i implying Zeref to be a bit older than the 400 years? Yes, yes i am. The way I saw it the events of 400yrs past were inciting incidents i.e Zeref giving Natsu to Igneel, slayers gettin sent to the future, and not the actually set date where everything happened. And again, I like the idea of Zeref fixating on this for a very long time. Him being older drives home the single-mindedness and determination to get it done)

As prodigious as Zeref is, creating life and being the first wizard to do so, i don't think he could do it so easily within a few short years which is why i personally love the idea of Zeref taking so long to be able to revive Natsu. A touch of realism to something magical kinda grounds it in a way, gives it some weight at the very least.

Specifically Natsu being Zeref's final project ever and all the other demons he created over the years prior being experiments and steps taken to perfect the process so Natsu would be the culmination of all that he learnt (demons like deliora and lullaby being demons of inorganic matter given humanoid form-> tartarus- esque demons being humanoid demons with animalistic features (organic matter) -> Natsu, human demon and hybrid traits all working together in cohesion).

And speaking of a touch of realism, or sorta realism anyways, riddle me this.

Zeref needs something to make Natsu well, Natsu. Sure he could probs make a demon that looks like him, but thats not what he wants. He wants his actual brother so, what could he get to add into the mixture to really do that? Why a few samples of course :].

But Phoenix! I hear you cry, how could he have gotten samples if you said in your version that it took him forever to finally revive Natsu?

And so leads into the actual true definitive answer to your question anon.

Zeref, in needing the most important ingredient in the Natsu stew took things from the OG body to help build the new one. But! The kicker here is the samples I imagine him using aren't blood but instead, bone.

Maybe he realizes a decade or 2 down the line in his demon experiments that he missed a step in what he needs to see this through. Maybe he thinks he's too late because what can he do now at that point. Maybe he realizes that he can use not flesh and blood, but what remains for his plan. Maybe he commits another sin in the hopes of it bringing for another and digs up his young brother's bones. Maybe he whittles them down piece by precious piece over the long period of time after failing so many times (am i also implying failed Natsus? Failed ENDs? Hell yeah i am) and coming dangerously close to it all ending for naught, with the last shard of bone. And maybe after so long and so many atrocities, he finally succeeded?

TL:DR Zeref snagged OG Natsu's bones and used those to help in the process of quite literally rebuilding him from scratch to give us our Natsu.

I dunno man, it just adds a layer of fucked up-ness to the whole situation of how far Zeref was willing to go- even defiling his brother's bones to get him back.

And on Natsu's side learning about all this would just twist the knife of his identity crisis even deeper (especially on that implication of failed END attempts before him).

Also like, by stretching out the time of events and making Natsu being the very last demon Zeref ever made bring so much for layers of meaning to the name END in itself.

END, being the literal meaning 'Etherious Natsu Dragneel'

END, signalling the last demon Zeref's made. An end to his experimentations.

END, as in the last and perfected version of his brother, with the last remains of OG Natsu's bones going towards his creation.

And END, as in Zeref's end, where he intends for Natsu to kill him thus ending his life.

[dovveri]

in my head

synopsis: you're paired with your crush and resident popular girl on campus for a project for the rest of semester

warnings: maybe a swear word or two

w/c: 5.5k

a/n: I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE REQ IM SORRY TO THAT ANON who requested this and also sorry it took me so long to get around to this i just couldn't think of anything to write bcs i alr did the nerd momo x popular reader fic and i fear this trope is too overdone for sana so... there is nothing rly original here LOL i stroogled i lwk wish i did not fill this req bcs i hate this fic HAHHA i gotta learn to say no ><

༺☆༻

���alright class, pair projects for this semester will be randomly assigned.”

there are collective groans from around the room but you only pray that you get a partner who knows what they're doing. you didn't really have a problem doing group assignments all on your own, it was better quality that way anyway, but it'd be nice if someone else could contribute a little every once in a while.

"check your emails for who your partner is. please get acquainted and exchange contact details before next week."

everyone quickly pulls out their phones, laptops, or whatever device they use during class, you follow along, logging in and scrolling to find the correct email.

minatozaki sana.

before you can even conjure up the thought oh shit she's skipping up to your table with a bright smile.

"hi! y/n?"

you sputter, unable to look at her, choosing to fiddle with your screen and panic scroll through random weather predictions and calculator apps. yes, plural, apps.

she's hard to ignore though, bending down and tilting her head so you're forced to look at her. when she catches your eyes she smiles again, "we're working together on the project this semester."

"u-uh y-yeah i s-saw."

"mhmm. wanna exchange numbers now?"

"oh! right yes of course sorry." you fumble, handing your phone to sana. she giggles, taking it from your hand and replacing it with her phone.

"cute background."

"oh that's- i'm not-"

"it's okay y/n. i'm a closet glee fan too." she winks at you, handing back your phone with exceptional speed.

you curse under your breath, quickly typing your number in and handing her phone back, thinking about the brittana wallpaper you have set on your homescreen. why did you have to be such a nerd?

"thanks! i'll text you later and we can meet up sometime this week to talk about the project?"

"y-yep. that sounds g-good."

she smiles that bright, blinding smile again, turning with a flourish and skipping over to her friends.

you were so fucked.

༺☆༻

minatozaki sana was the most popular girl on campus. captain of the cheerleading team, notorious for her ditzy charm and line of admirers. girls like that weren't exactly the type to be top of the class or put much effort into their studies. they were already guaranteed shoo-ins at major marketing or HR firms that liked pretty faces to hike in business, if they weren't already signed to modelling or acting gigs that was.

it also didn't help that you were at the wee end of her long, long line of admirers. you hadn't intended to fall for her. you knew it was completely unrealistic, you'd bet she didn't even know your first name until she got paired with you. so you knew what you were getting into when you first started paying a little more attention to her in class, noticing small things about her like the way she'd scrunch her nose when she was confused or didn't know how to do a question, or the way every time she'd get even remotely excited her left foot would start tapping, like a puppy wagging it's tail when it gets excited. you couldn't help but notice these things and who could you blame? it was minatozaki sana, you certainly weren't the first to fall for her charms, just definitely the most unlikely to actually end up with her.

so it was fine that you were paired up. totally fine. you didn't mind putting in the extra academic work if it meant you didn't have to speak to sana or even mildly interact with her. you were fine doing everything on your own so that she, or god forbid, any of her popular clique would never be able find out about your embarrassingly impossible crush for sana.

santana💜: hi! is this y/n?

you blink down at your phone. this was not who you thought it was. there was no way.

y/n: who's this?

santana💜: im sana! i named myself santana in ur phone bcs of ur brittana wallpaper ;) yk... ur brittany bcs ur a secret genius and im santana bcs... well our names are kinda similar!

y/n: oh... haha right. yeah this is y/n

santana💜: would u be free to come over tmr? to get a headstart on the assignment? or i can go over to urs instead if u want :)

y/n: oh it's fine sana u don't have to pretend to do anything. idm doing the whole thing and submitting for both of us i won't tell the teacher dw

santana💜: what?! who do u think i am y/n?! im not just going to let u do the whole thing on ur own! come to mine 8pm tmr ok? i'll text u the address later

you stare down at your phone. okay so that plan wasn't going to work. you could be cool though. this would be fine. totally fine.

y/n: ok

༺☆༻

you knock on the door of the address sana gave you after her cheer practice. you had spent the past day overthinking exactly what was going to happen, whether or not sana really did want to contribute or if she was still just doing this for show. or if something even more sinister was planned, probably not by sana, but you'd seen some of the people she hung out with, you wouldn't put it past them to go back to their high school bully ways and pull a prank on a nerd like you, even at their adult age.

but when sana opens the door with a beam, her smile is bright and seems devoid of any hidden intentions. you honestly feel a little bad that you had doubted her when she's looking at you like that. but you remind yourself that sana was just that sweet of a person, she looked at everyone like that, you weren't special.

you cough awkwardly, offering a polite smile and stepping in.

"my housemates are out tonight so we have the whole place to ourselves."

"oh cool."

"do you want anything to drink?"

"just water would be great thanks."

"you can go ahead to my room. it's the second door on the right. the bathroom's right opposite it as well if you need to go or anything. i'll be with you in a sec." she smiles at you again, going off towards the kitchen to prepare some snacks and your water.

you tentatively step further into her home, feeling very out of place, but also curious at the pictures and trinkets everywhere, your first glance into sana’s real life.

you follow her directions, walking towards her room and stepping inside, not really surprised at the pink-tone hues that greet you.

sana’s room is cute. she has polaroids and film prints of her and various friends and family hung up next to her bed, a pinboard with small reminders decorated with stickers and more pictures, posters stuck up with and fairy lights strung across various surfaces.

“sorry it’s kinda messy. i haven’t cleaned in a little.”

you turn at the sound of her voice, suddenly finding her much less intimidating in her pink fluffy slippers, suddenly she just seemed like another girl, not the person on the pedestal that you, and most of the campus put her up to be.

you smile, genuinely this time albeit still a little awkward, “it’s fine. i don’t think it’s messy at all, i like it, it’s cute.”

“really? you don’t think it’s childish or anything?” sana pouts slightly as she settles a tray of snacks and water on the table next to her bed and then sits down, shuffling the various amount of japanese plush toys around.

“not at all.”

she grins then, gesturing for you to sit.

you follow suit, crossing your legs and sitting on the floor, taking out your laptop and papers from class. “so have you had a chance to read over the assignment brief yet? it’s okay if you haven’t, i was honestly surprised you asked to meet up so early, technically the only assignment for this week was to exchange contact details.”

sana slides down so she’s on the floor next to you, knees touching, you don’t see it because you’re focused on the fact that your skin was now touching and she was close enough for you to smell her designer perfume, but she pouts before speaking, “do you seriously think i’m just some slacker y/n? i asked to meet up because i wanted to get this assignment out of the way while it’s still early in the semester. before things get busy and we both get swamped with our other classes.”

“o-oh right i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to… well yeah anyway... so i was thinking-"

"you totally thought i was a slacker didn't you?" you can't ignore her when she peeks around to eye you.

"i- well-"

"it's okay. most people think we're all just bandwagoners and yeah i admit i know some of the people i may be... affiliated with are those types of people, but i'm here because i wanted an education and i'm serious about it. so don't try and do all the work on your own okay? we'll split it evenly."

you're more than embarrassed now. you had boxed sana into a stereotype that she was obviously aware of and actively against. “right i’m so sorry oh my god- i didn’t mean to- i-“

she laughs then, hitting your shoulder playfully, your skin burns at the contact, “it’s okay y/n! you’re adorable. thanks for wanting to do everything at first but i can handle my own and i won’t let you down!”

you blush, looking back down to your papers but comprehending none of the words on it. "right. i'm sorry again... and thank you." you manage to mumble out.

sana giggles internally, finding you very cute. and she loved cute things as evidenced all over her room.

༺☆༻

the following weeks you start spending a lot more time at sana's place, to the point where you've met all her roommates and their partners, and it doesn't feel weird for them to see you around the house. it was a pretty rigorous assignment and it involved a lot of hands-on research and time dedicated to it.

you're still complete strangers at school though, sana was still the popular it girl, always surrounded by groups of people, while you were the nerdy nobody.

so it definitely comes as a shock when sana slides into the seat across from you while you're eating your lunch peacefully alone in the cafeteria, mindlessly scrolling through tiktok.

your eyes almost bulge out of your head when you look up and see her bright smile, scrambling to make space for her and take your airpods out, almost knocking your juice popper off the side of the table in the panic.

"s-sana! what are you doing here?!" you're pulling the straps of your bag towards you so it's no longer occupying the table space opposite you, that obviously meant that spot was occupied, a cue sana chose to cheerily ignore.

"just saw you eating alone and wanted to join you!"

"o-oh. you don't have friends waiting for you?"

she shrugs, plucking a fry off your plate, "not really."

you shrink into your seat as you feel the eyes of the cafeteria land on you and sana, whispering and pointing at you. you’ve never wished more for the floor to swallow you up than in this moment.

“so i was thinking-“

“sana! what are you doing here?”

oh no. you did not need any more attention on you right now. least of all from park jihyo, student council president, and kim dahyun, student council treasurer, both of whom were on the same level of popularity as sana with just as many admirers.

jihyo slides in right next to you while talking across to sana, dahyun happily greeting sana and sliding in next to her with her lunch tray.

“jihyo! dahyunnie! i thought you both had a student council meeting right now?”

“got postponed. our secretary fell sick and we can’t proceed without her so we just decided to wait until she got better.”

they fall into easy conversation while you shrink even further into yourself, squeezing your arms into your sides so you’re not made known to the other two who still haven’t acknowledged your presence.

“ugh practice was such a drag today.” yoo jeongyeon slides in next to you, still in her lacrosse uniform, throwing an arm over your shoulders without seeming to realise who you were. you flinch at the action.

this was so not happening to you right now.

hirai momo slides in next to sana, eyes trained only on her tray as she mumbles a greeting with her mouth full with food already.

oh good lord what did you do to deserve this?

at least you’d met momo before since she was one of sana’s roommates but she still only really knew you as ‘sana’s project partner’. the others you’ve only seen from afar, and until now you were half-convinced they weren’t really real, too far up the social ladder to ever be associated with the likes of you. jeongyeon was the star lacrosse player and team captain of your school, which was renowned for it’s lacrosse team. hirai momo was apparently roped into playing lacrosse but really excelled in the world of dance. apparently she’d already had experience touring as backup dancers for major hit singers.

jihyo wrinkles her nose, speaking over you to jeongyeon, “yoo jeongyeon you stink. didn’t we allocate an extra $3000 to shower renovations last year? we did not do that so you could continue to sweat all over me.”

jeongyeon sticks her tongue out at jihyo, “i was hungry. besides i’m not sweating all over you. and you don’t mind do you- wait- who are you?”

your eyes widen when you realise jeongyeon’s now addressing you, and then suddenly the entire table’s eyes are on you.

you feel your face going bright red, coughing awkwardly and staring down at your plate of food. “u-um-“

“this is y/n! she’s my friend!”

you look up to see sana beaming at you.

“oh… how do you guys know each other?”

“we were paired together for that pair project i was talking about- you know for my class about sustainable engineering? momoring knows!”

momo grunts in acknowledgement, offering you a fleeting smile before returning back to her food, not entirely interested with this conversation.

“wait- how does momo know her and i don’t? momo spends all of her time in the dance studio, and if she’s not she’s only ever focused on food!”

“maybe you should be a better student council president and know all your students then hyo.”

im nayeon, co-head cheerleader along with sana, her title alone demonstrating her popularity status, teases jihyo with a grin, standing at the end of the table in her cheer uniform, commanding all attention from anyone who wasn’t already watching your table in curiosity.

“oh shut up nayeon.” but jihyo quickly turns to face you, offering a hand and a bright smile, “hi y/n! it’s nice to meet you! i hope we haven’t been giving you too much trouble.”

you quickly shake your head, taking her hand gingerly, surprised at the strong grip she has.

“momoring and nayeonnie have already met y/n because she’s been over at ours a lot to work on the project together.” sana perks up again, and then looks at you again, not that her eyes have really left you but you didn’t know that, “sorry for all this by the way. my friends are obviously people blind.”

“speak for yourself sana. the amount of times you’ve called out the wrong name in bed-“

sana flushes bright red, shooting up and slapping a hand over nayeon’s mouth while the others crack up in laughter.

"ignore her y/n. she doesn't mean that."

sana smiles through her teeth while nayeon makes muffled sounds of disagreement, and honestly it is a little funny so you can't help but laugh alongside them.

in the end, you don't mind too much that sana's friends invaded your lunch time. they were a lot less intimidating than you had thought they would be, similar to how you had judged sana prior to actually spending any time with her. it was still awkward to feel the eyes of jealous onlookers but sana stealing food off your plate every few minutes and making sure you were included in the conversation was enough to make you feel welcome and ignore those looks.

༺☆༻

"y/n! i got those projections we were talking about last week." sana bounds up to you outside your lecture hall.

"sana? how did you even know i had class at this time?"

"i asked around." she shrugs as if it wasn't a big deal for her to actively be looking for you and for her to know your schedule, "here- what do you think?" she hands over a few documents and you shuffle to the side so students can continue moving in and out. that also meant you were basically boxing yourself into the small corner next to the door with sana blocking your way out. you can feel a few weird glances look your way, wondering how you of all people knew one of the most popular girls on campus.

"it looks good sana."

"great! are we still on for tomorrow night? coach put nayeon and i in charge of practice this week but i may have bribed nayeon into running it herself so we can spend some more time on the project without her nosy self at home."

you nod, handing back her papers, "yeah, i'll be over around 6?"

"sounds good! see you then!" and then she's kissing your cheek and flying off before you can react, your hand coming up to touch where she had pecked you seconds after she's gone.

"-don't know what she sees in them."

"right- you think y/n's paying sana or something?"

"no way sana would do that though. i bet she's just using y/n for help with study or whatever."

"nah i've seen sana's marks, she doesn't need the extra help. maybe she's just toying with y/n. could be a dare or maybe she just has a nerd kink, or wants to try it out once and drop her."

"oh true hahaha i'd almost feel bad for y/n but it is pretty funny watching her prance around sana like she has a chance."

the sounds of laughter drift down the hallway as you stay rooted to the spot, completely invisible to the rest of the student body.

were they right? was sana just pulling you along? fuck you were so stupid. of course she knew you had a crush on her. everyone had a crush on her. you thought you knew sana but now you were starting to doubt your perceptions of her all over again. ugh you couldn't do this. you felt so embarrassed thinking about the amount of time you've spent with sana. all that for her to just be stringing you along, maybe even laughing behind your back with all her friends, you were so stupid for thinking you'd ever move out of your miserable social status. you were at the bottom of the social hierarchy, and she was at the top, it would always be that way, and people at the top don't want anything to do with people at the bottom unless it's for their own benefit or entertainment. sana was not an exception.

༺☆༻

santana💜: hey u still coming over? i maaaay have tried to cook dinner for us both even tho momo always warns me not to step foot in the kitchen and ig she was right this time... so i'll order takeaway? thai food okay?

santana💜: everything okay? sorry if thai food wasnt ur style >< i can order sth else instead but the foods getting cold :((

santana💜: im guessing ur not coming :( hope everythings okay w u!! ill see u at school soon 🥺

༺☆༻

you’ve been trying your best to avoid sana ever since you overheard what those people thought of your relationship with her. it was difficult when she would send you daily texts asking where you were and how you’ve been, even i miss you texts with the little sad face emoticon that had your fingers aching to text her back but you resisted. this was for the best.

but of course as soon as you started avoiding her you also started seeing her around campus a lot more than you used to. she’d pop up everywhere you were, at the library, in the hallways, on the fields, you’d always manage to shy away from her gaze but you don’t think she was doing this on purpose. maybe it was just the fact that because you were avoiding her, you were a lot more noticeable of her presence.

it was hard to keep this up though, especially when the time of the week came that you shared the class you had been assigned project partners in. you had seriously considered faking sick when you woke up in the morning, thinking she could manage class on her own and you’d just email her your parts of the assignment or something. but you got out of bed reluctantly and trudged to class, coming up with as many excuses as possible for having not responded to any of her messages and ditching your last meetup.

you sigh in relief when you walk into class and see that people are still milling about, slowly trickling in, and sana’s seat is still empty. you slink to the back of the classroom, pulling your hood up and turning on your laptop to tap mindlessly at the keyboard, hiding your face behind the screen.

you can hear when the class starts filling up, sliding down further in your chair and avoiding eye contact with everyone.

you can also hear the moment sana walks in, flanked by her friends with that high-pitched laugh and sunshine energy, the class suddenly seems twice as bright as it was. god you missed her. and that was pathetic of you! she didn’t even care about you! you stay resolute in your avoidance, only allowing yourself a second to bask in her voice before closing yourself off again from the outside world.

it’s only when the teacher walks in and starts reading the roll, that you have to squeak out a small ‘here’ when they read out your name. you avoid her gaze when you speak up but you can see in the corner of your eye, sana whips her head around and stares at you with wide eyes, her mouth open in surprise. you shrink back down but she continues to stare at you for a few more seconds before frowning and facing back forward when her name is called out.

you spend the rest of class hiding behind the screen of your laptop, formulating a plan on the fastest way to get out of class once it's over so you don't have to talk to sana.

unfortunately, the teacher seems to have taken notice of your lack of participation, when usually you're the only one in the class who is able to answer their questions, or even mildly paying attention, so you're pulled back when you try to escape, the rest of the class chattering excitedly while leaving class.

"what's wrong y/n?"

"nothing. sorry, just not feeling the best today."

the teacher eyes you, "is the pair project going alright? you didn't sit with sana today."

you gulp, "it's fine."

"are you sure? if sana's making you do all the work you'll tell me won't you?"

your eyes widen, "no! no sana's a sweetheart she-" you catch yourself, sana wouldn't really be a sweetheart if she was playing with you would she? "she's been great, she's contributing and pulling all of her own weight and more. to be honest... i'm probably the one who's not doing my part right now..."

the teacher hums, "alright y/n. let me know if there's anything i can do for you. go home and rest."

you nod, adjusting the straps of your backpack and trudging outside.

only to find sana waiting outside the classroom with her arms crossed, tapping her foot in the way she does when she gets annoyed.

as soon as your outside she doesn't spare you a second glance, grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the closest empty classroom and closing the door behind the both of you, standing against it so you have no way of escaping.

"wh- sana! sana what are you doing? i have class!"

"no you don't. the only class you have on wednesdays is the one we share. after that you normally go home or to the library before getting dinner outside."

"what- how do you- have you been stalking me?"

she frowns, "have you been avoiding me?"

"i- what makes you think that?"

"you didn't come last week. and you haven't been answering any of my messages. and i'm not stalking you i just thought we were friends and i like to know my friends' schedules, so when you didn't turn up to any of your usual study spots...i got worried. i thought you were sick or something. but then i saw you at the dessert shop outside the council centre where i volunteer and you didn't look sick at all. in fact, as soon as you saw me you were healthy enough to run off."

you gulp nervously, stepping back, only for sana to step forward. your eyes flit around, looking for any possible exit or distraction, anything would be better than confronting sana right now.

"i just- um- i-"

sana pouts, "did i do something? you'd tell me if i did right?"

"no! you didn't do anything. i just- um-"

she raises an eyebrow. you fiddle with your fingers, unable to look her in the eye.

"w-what do you want with me?"

sana doesn't seem to expect this answer. "what do you mean?"

you sigh in frustration, running a hand through your hair, "it doesn't make sense. why would you want to be friends with me? you're popular and smart and beautiful and you don't hang out with people like me."

"is that what this is about?"

"no- well- yes- i overheard the other day, some people talking about how you were only using me or that you didn't have good intentions with me and i just- i didn't know what to do."

"and what do you think?"

you look up at her then, her gaze is steely, there's no hint of her usual smile. "w-what?"

"is that what you think of me? that that's the kind of person i am? that i'd do that to someone?"

you're taken aback, "i- n-no! i-"

"then why did you listen to them? you're not stupid y/n i know you can form your own opinions on people. you're not like the others, or at least i thought you weren't. i didn't think you'd judge people off of what you've heard about them, i thought we were friends y/n."

"i didn't i- we are- i just-"

you take another step back, needing to create distance between the two of you, needing to think without sana's presence making your head all muddy. but with each step back you take, sana takes one forward.

"was there something else? were you looking for a reason to avoid me?"

another step back, another step forward.

"no! i- i didn't-"

"tell me the truth? please?" you're backed into the wall, nowhere left to go, and sana only steps closer. you can feel your heart rate picking up at her proximity, she's looking up at you, puppy eyes and a pout on her lips, you were so weak.

"n-no i don't- there's nothing else-"

"hmm." she's so close you can see the way her eyelashes flutter when she blinks, can feel her breath on your lips.

you can feel how hot your cheeks are, sweat collecting in your clenched fists. she's studying you, eyes flicking over your face, when your tongue pokes out to wet your lips, purely out of habit and stress, her eyes dart down and watch the movement, snapping back up to your eyes once you were done.

and then suddenly, she blinks and there's a change in the atmosphere. there's a curl of her lips, her eyes conveying something you can't quite decipher.

"do you... like me y/n?"

you blush impossibly brighter, "i-i- well- i-"

then her lips are on yours, just the barest brush of her skin against yours, like a sigh against your lips, but when she pulls away, she doesn't go far, her lips still hovering over yours, looking up at you through her eyelashes.

"it's okay if you do."

you're completely dumbstruck, hand twitching, wanting to reach up and feel your lips, to see if this was really happening.

"because i'd be lying if i said i didn't find you attractive."

your mind goes blank, struggling to catch up. "w-what?"

"i don't kiss just anyone. nayeon may have made that comment about how many people i bring home but none of them compare to you. you're different. you don't want me just because i'm pretty and easy."

"i- i-"

she leans in, pecking you softly again, before leaning back fully to give you space, turning on her heel. "think about it y/n. once you have an answer, stop avoiding me. you know where to find me." and then she's stepping outside the classroom, and you feel like you can finally breathe again, letting your brain catch up to what your body just experienced.

༺☆༻

it takes you a few days to fully come to your senses.

sana stops actively searching for you, but you still see her around campus, only she seems to have decided to give you space, not acknowledging you if you saw her in public or walked past her.

so sana obviously knew you liked her. it just didn't make sense that she could like you too. you took days trying to find any way this could've happened, tracing over every interaction you've had with her in your head over and over, trying to find any clues for her feelings towards you.

it crossed your mind briefly that this was another one of her possible ploys to embarrass you. but she was right when she confronted you, you didn't think she was that kind of person, and none of her actions or the time you've spent with her indicated that she was that kind of person, you needed to trust your own eyes and feelings, sana was being genuine.

it just baffled you how this was possibly genuine, how it was possible for sana to like someone like you. and the only way you'd be able to find out was to talk to her.

you inhale, standing outside sana's apartment. you knew momo had dance practice at this time and nayeon had told you she wouldn't be home because she was meeting up with some friends, so it would just be sana at home.

you knock tentatively, stepping back and collecting your thoughts.

it doesn't help though, because when the door opens, all comprehendible thoughts fly out of your mind, replaced with the mental energy required to memorise sana, her hair up in a messy bun, oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, large glasses on, looking like she just woke up from a nap.

sana's eyes brighten when they see you, leaning against her doorframe and raising an eyebrow expectantly.

"h-hi sana."

"hey yourself. what are you doing here?"

you take a deep breath. you had prepared for this. "why do you like me?" well that was not what you had prepared.

sana smiles amusedly, "i told you. i like that you see me for who i am rather than who i present myself to be. i think you're very cute, you get along well with my friends, you're incredibly smart, and even though you think a little too much over what other people say, we can work on that."

your eyes widen at her answer.

"it's simple y/n. do you want to be with me or not? don't overthink it. we can work out any issues that come up overtime."

"i..." you look down to your feet, blushing, then looking back up to her, "yes. i do want to be with you."

sana grins then, not missing a beat, swooping in and kissing you gently, tasting of berries and sunshine. when she breaks apart, finally welcoming you into her apartment, she teases, "i finished our project by the way. you owe me. but i'll accept kisses as payment."

you whine, finally letting yourself be free around her, no longer hesitating to do what you've wanted to this entire semester, bring her up into a kiss that hopefully makes up for the utter loser you've been in her presence.

[ohwowimlonley]

I uh, came here from the stepbro!Siri with a corruption kink... I was wondering if you could do more stepbro!Siri? But uhm maybe like "stepbro!Siri x reader +best friend mooney" ? If you're uncomfortable with this request, you can just ignore this... I also wanted to know if I could be Anon ✨?

Omg I’m so sorry this took me so long and of course you can be an anon if you want to lovely

Also this is unfinished so ask for another part if u want :)

Smut below the cut

—

“Hey there sweetheart,” your step brother calls to you, spreading his legs further across the sofa and patting his knee in invitation, “why don’t you come n’ sit with me and Moony for a bit, hey?”

You try to move towards them as confidently as possible, but your trembling hands and adverted gaze betrays you. You fall gracelessly into the arms of the shaggy-haired man, holding back a surprises giggle at the way his nose tickles against your neck.

“Isn’t she just the cutest, Moons?” You can feel the smirk of your step brother widen against your warmed cheeks, your embarrassment heightened by how he speaks about you like you’re not even in the room.

“She’s really something,” comes the drawl of the other man, his hand creeping up your exposed thigh, exploring the skin with languid strokes. Your body instinctively leans into his touch as his nimble fingers reach toward the hem of your skirt, simultaneously pushing up and shying away from his touch, “a shy one though, huh?”

“She’ll warm up to her soon enough, mate,” Sirius assures, one hand moving to boldly rest on your right breast, almost a show of his ownership of you, “only took her two days before she started crawling into my bed ‘nd begging for it,”

Remus makes a humming sound of approval at that, finally garnering eye contact with you and raising an eyebrow and tapping your thigh, waiting for your approval before diving his hand beneath your skirt, stroking his cold fingers up and down your uncovered pussy lips.

“No panties?” The grin on his face usurpes the disappointment in his tone. Sirius let’s out an incredulous scoff.

“Please, she hasn’t worn panties since the first day I fucked her,” his hand slips beneath your shirt and his fingers start flicking over your nipples, “always wants to be fucked now, the poor thing. She’ll probably get even more greedy now she’s got two of us,”

“Siri?” You crane your neck to finally make eye contact with him. Both boys cease their movements to watch you, intrigued by what you’d say while speaking for the first time in the night, “what- what do you mean two of us?”

“Well darling,” he smooths a kiss to the crown of your head, “moony over here needs someone to take care of him, doesn’t he? You don’t want him to get lonely, do you?”

You don’t even have to think about it; you shake your head with a pout. Remus seems nice, and his fingers are working wonders on your clit, his movements now resumed as Sirius talks.

“Well, I said that moony can fuck you sometimes, y’know, to help us all out,” he shrugs, spreading your legs further out on his lap so he can get a good glimpse of your pussy as Remus works it over.

“I promise I’ll be good to you, pretty girl,” the taller boy adjusts himself until his cheek rests against the inside of your thigh, so close to your cunt that his tongue scrapes across your clit with every word from his mouth, “so long as you follow my rules,”

[solxamber]

Omg, uh sorry if this is filling up your inbox! You can take your time with this anytime! Pls take care of urself if u feel sad (Romantic btw :3)

Savanaclaw and Scarabia with a silly reader who owns a circus and stuff— they act all innocent and stupid and silly, but are actually really good at being mature and responsible and smart (emotionally and intelligently). And, They always have some extremely shocking stories to tell, like that one time where they and Falena are friends and how their family has some history with the al-asims.. oh the list can go on!...

can u see what I see ☹️☹️

Savanaclaw, Scarabia with a Silly but mature! reader

i think i see your vision anon 🫡 Thank you for the request!

also the inbox is open for all requests, there's no need to be sorry!

Leona Kingscholar

Leona was lounging under a tree, as usual, his eyes half-closed as you plopped down beside him. You had that mischievous smile again, and he braced himself for whatever nonsense you were about to spout.

“Leona, did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally declared myself queen of a lost kingdom? Oh yeah, I was leading a parade for my circus when we stumbled upon this hidden city in the desert. They hadn’t seen outsiders in centuries, and for some reason, they thought my outfit meant I was royalty. Long story short, I ruled for a day—had a crown and everything.”

Leona cracked an eye open, staring at you. “You? A queen?”

“Yep. But don’t worry, I abdicated the next morning. Told them it wasn’t for me. Too much responsibility, you know?” You laughed, completely at ease, as if you hadn’t just described one of the most ridiculous situations ever.

Leona groaned. “You’ve gotta be making this stuff up.”

“Nope! 100% true. I even have pictures of the royal llama they gave me as a parting gift.” You winked, leaving Leona wondering whether you were serious or just really good at telling tall tales.

But later that day, a real problem cropped up in Savanaclaw. Some of the younger students had gotten into a fight, and it was escalating fast. Leona, grumbling, was about to step in when you, with a surprisingly firm tone, intervened.

“Hey! Knock it off!” you commanded, standing between the feuding students with a calm but authoritative air. “Fighting’s not going to solve this. You need to talk it out—what’s going on?”

To Leona’s surprise, they actually stopped. You took each of them aside, patiently listening and guiding them to a resolution, diffusing the situation before it could spiral. Once things calmed down, you turned back to Leona with a smile, as if nothing unusual had happened.

“See? All it takes is a bit of patience.”

Leona stared at you, genuinely impressed. “You’re... not as dumb as you act, are you?”

“Only when it’s convenient,” you replied, your grin back in full force. But there was a warmth behind your eyes, a quiet confidence that made Leona’s chest tighten. For once, he didn’t have a sarcastic comeback, just a lingering thought that maybe you were a lot more than you seemed.

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie was used to your wild stories by now, but every time you shared one, it still left him shaking his head in disbelief. Today, you were telling him about one of your most outlandish adventures yet.

“So, Ruggie, did I ever mention the time I accidentally joined a pirate crew? My circus got shipwrecked on this random island, and before I knew it, I was swabbing the deck of a pirate ship. They thought I was this legendary thief, and I just rolled with it. Spent the whole month trying to convince them to switch to legal trade—pretty sure I turned them into a merchant fleet by the end.”

Ruggie almost choked on his snack. “You? A pirate? No way.”

“True story! They even gave me a parrot. Named him Biscuit.” You grinned like this was the most normal thing in the world.

Ruggie shook his head, laughing. “You’re somethin’ else, y’know that?”

But not long after, a real problem popped up. One of the younger students in Scarabia had been short on money, and there was a mix-up with their scholarship. The kid was panicking, unsure how to fix it. While Ruggie was good at hustling, this wasn’t his field of expertise. He figured the situation was about to get messy.

Then you stepped in, calmly talking to the student. “Hey, don’t worry. We’ll figure this out. Let me help.”

You guided the student through the bureaucratic mess, making calls, filling out forms, and working things out with Scarabia’s administration. By the end of it, everything was sorted, and the student left with a grateful smile.

“You handled that like a pro,” Ruggie commented, impressed. He hadn’t expected you to know your way around serious issues like that.

“Sometimes life throws you curveballs, and you’ve gotta handle them with a cool head,” you said with a wink. “I’ve got practice from managing a circus, after all.”

Ruggie chuckled, but the admiration in his eyes was clear. “You’re full of surprises.”

“Good surprises, I hope?”

“The best kind,” Ruggie grinned, feeling his heart skip a beat. You might act goofy, but there was something about you that kept pulling him in.

Jack Howl

Jack was used to your carefree attitude by now, but your stories never failed to catch him off guard. Today, you were regaling him with a tale so absurd he didn’t even know how to respond.

“So, Jack, did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally tamed a dragon? It’s true! I was performing in a mountain village when this dragon showed up, all angry and roaring. Turns out, he had a thorn in his foot. Once I pulled it out, we became best buds. He even gave me a ride back home.”

Jack slowed his jog, staring at you incredulously. “You’re telling me you... tamed a dragon? Just like that?”

“Yep! He was actually really sweet once he wasn’t in pain. Kinda like a giant puppy.” You laughed, completely unfazed by how insane the story sounded.

Jack shook his head, half-impressed, half-baffled. “You’re something else.”

But later, when a real problem cropped up—a couple of first-years lost their way in the forest near campus—your goofy demeanor melted away, replaced by a calm, focused attitude. Jack was ready to run in headfirst, but you stopped him.

“Wait, Jack. If we charge in, we might get lost too. Let’s think this through.”

You took a moment to assess the situation, coming up with a plan that involved splitting up into small, safe search parties. You helped guide the students back, your calm leadership reassuring everyone involved.

Jack was impressed. “You... really know how to handle things when it matters.”

You smiled softly, shrugging. “I guess when you’ve been through enough crazy stuff, you learn how to stay calm.”

Jack couldn’t help but admire you. You might be goofy, but you had a strong sense of responsibility underneath it all. And, more than anything, he liked that you didn’t lose your lightheartedness, even when things got tough.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jack muttered, a little flustered.

You grinned. “Just doing my best. But thanks, Jack.”

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim was always delighted by your stories, and today, you had another one to tell that had him practically bouncing in excitement.

“So, Kalim, did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally became the head chef for an underwater banquet? We were traveling with the circus near a coastal city, and somehow, I got mistaken for a famous sea chef. Next thing I knew, I was cooking for a bunch of merfolk. It wasn’t too bad, except for the fact that the main course was supposed to be jellyfish. Do you know how hard it is to cook jellyfish?”

Kalim’s eyes went wide with fascination. “No way! What did you do?”

“Well, I just winged it! Turns out, jellyfish isn’t that bad if you deep fry it. The merfolk loved it, though I think one of them might’ve cried because I didn’t use enough seaweed seasoning.” You giggled at the memory, and Kalim burst into laughter beside you.

“That’s amazing! You always have the best stories!” Kalim grinned from ear to ear, completely charmed by your carefree attitude.

But later, as a group of students caused a commotion in Scarabia over some miscommunication regarding event planning, Kalim started to get overwhelmed. The party plans were a mess, and everyone was panicking.

Before Kalim could start spiraling, you placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Kalim, it’s okay. We can fix this.”

You quickly took charge, calmly directing people, assigning tasks, and helping resolve the confusion with remarkable ease. Despite the chaos, you remained collected and responsible, ensuring everything got back on track. By the end of it, the students were thanking you for saving the event.

Kalim watched you in awe, his heart swelling with admiration. “Wow, you’re amazing at this! I didn’t even think about half of the things you just did!”

You smiled, a little sheepishly. “I’ve learned a thing or two from managing my own circus. Keeping things organized is important when you’ve got that many moving parts.”

Kalim beamed, his admiration growing even more. “You’re incredible! I love how you can be so fun and carefree but also super responsible when it matters.”

You laughed. “Well, I can’t have you stressing out, can I?”

Kalim’s heart fluttered as he realized just how much he adored every part of you—the goofy, lighthearted side and the calm, mature side that always seemed to have everything under control.

“I’m lucky to have you around,” he admitted softly, his face turning pink.

You grinned, nudging him playfully. “And I’m lucky to have someone who enjoys my stories. We make a good team.”

Jamil Viper

Jamil wasn’t one to get distracted easily, but you had a way of getting under his skin, especially with the wild stories you told so casually.

“So, Jamil, you know how everyone has a weird family tradition? Mine is... accidentally kidnapping a sultan’s pet tiger. Oh, it wasn’t on purpose, of course! The circus was performing in this palace, and I thought it was part of the act. Turns out, it was the sultan’s favorite tiger. Had to smooth things over with a five-course apology dinner. But hey, I got to keep a gold plate as a souvenir.”

Jamil blinked, his expression somewhere between disbelief and amusement. “You... kidnapped a royal tiger?”

“Yep! Accidentally, though. I gave it back!” you laughed, completely unfazed by how wild the story was. “But I did manage to calm the sultan down. Turns out, I’m pretty good at apologizing.”

Jamil shook his head, exhaling a slow breath. “I don’t know how you manage to stay so calm in situations like that.”

“Well, when you run a circus, you learn to roll with the punches,” you winked.

Later that evening, when a situation arose with a group of students causing chaos in Scarabia, you stepped up before Jamil could even lift a finger.

“Hold on, I’ll talk to them,” you said, stepping forward.

With a calm but firm approach, you quickly diffused the situation, guiding the students to settle down and offering solutions to their grievances. You did it all without raising your voice, just being patient and understanding.

Jamil watched, impressed at how you handled everything so smoothly. Once the students dispersed, he approached you with a newfound respect in his eyes.

“You’re... more capable than you let on,” he admitted, glancing away.

You smiled, not smugly, but warmly. “I just know when it’s time to be serious. Someone’s gotta keep the peace around here.”

Jamil’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe there was more to your lighthearted nature than he initially thought.

Masterlist

[sanguineterrain]

Feel like I’m so basic but Jason Todd with a crush and him having zero social skills and just being super clumsy despite being highly competent when he’s in the field. Crush is like real sweet and kind maybe a service worker ✨

anon u are so true and real for this bc jason is definitely an unsocialized cat when he has a crush 💓

jason todd x gn!reader. shyish/anxious jason with a big fat crush. baker reader. annoying customer. the duality of jason todd. 1.6k words.

also i fully believe that silently leaving huge tips as a way to flirt is like. a wayne trait. 100% that family does that bc of bruce.

prompt lists are here! i reblog all fics to @sanguinelibrary

****

Business has been slow.

It's not like you expect your cafe to be packed to the rafters all day long, but you've had a grand total of four customers today. One of them only came in to ask where Starbucks was.

Frankly, you're not sure the cafe can afford to stay afloat for much longer. Gotham isn't known to preserve small businesses, and the conglomerates (cough, Wayne Enterprises) are taking over the world anyway.

So today is a reading day. You might even close early.

You're at a table in the back, so absorbed in Poirot's sleuthing that you don't hear the door open. It isn't until you turn the page and look up that you see your resident lurker waiting quietly at the display case. You flinch so hard that you spill iced tea on your jeans.

"Shit," you murmur, grabbing a wad of napkins and patting yourself dry.

Jason (as is written on his coffee cup) looks up from the pastries, teal eyes wide. You smile briefly at him. For such a big guy, his footsteps are astonishingly soft.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, voice rough like he doesn't speak much.

"Yeah, fine. You just startled me—I didn't hear you come in. Were you waiting long? Sorry about that."

"Oh. No, I wasn't. Sorry." He shifts weight between his feet. "You seemed pretty engrossed in your book. I didn't, uh, want to disturb you."

"Oh, hey, don't worry about that! It's literally my job to be here," you say, though you can't help but melt over how freaking sweet that is.

Jason visits you a minimum of twice a week. He's been coming for a couple of weeks. You know a whole three things about him: he's a university student, he pretty much only dresses in red or black, and he's unfairly cute.

At first, you were reasonably wary of him because it's Gotham, and he's so damn quiet. It's a little scary. You thought maybe he was an undercover spy casing the joint. Now you know he's just awkward.

"Slow day?" he asks.

"Slow year, more like. How are you? How was your exam?"

He blinks. "Exam?"

"Didn't you have an American lit exam last week?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Wow. Yes, I did. It was okay. Got an A."

"That's great! I knew you'd ace it."

His cheeks turn pink. Okay, you actually know four things about him: he blushes a lot.

You go to start the coffee machine. "Do you think you'll—"

"I-I have to go."

You watch, stunned, as he hurries out the door. That's when you notice the fifty dollar bill in your tip jar.

You don't know if you should bring up yesterday. Jason's back; that probably means everything's fine, right? You're not sure if you said something wrong, though. You've gone over the interaction a hundred times since and you can't figure out why he's so skittish around you.

"Hi. Hibiscus tea, please," he says, stoic as always.

You prepare his order, yesterday's interaction still fresh in your head. You should say something, shouldn't you? Or...

"Sorry about yesterday," Jason blurts, so fast you almost miss it. "Running out, I mean. I was, uh—I forgot something."

Well. Looks like he's going to bring it up for you.

"Oh, you don't have to apologize! If I said something wrong..."

Jason shakes his head fervently. "No, God no. You're perfect."

Your eyebrows shoot up. He turns red this time.

"I mean—not perf—well, you're amazing, don't get me wrong! Except, like, what is perfect, y'know? My brother has gotten into the habit of calling everything perfection like some kind of sitcom character. Alfred will make pie, and Dick'll go, "Alfie, that was perfection." And I feel like it's such an exaggeration—"

Jason's mouth snaps closed. He rubs his forehead.

"Um, I actually have chronic foot-in-mouth disease. It gets really, stupidly bad. Sorry."

You're trying hard not to giggle. You want to smother him in frosting and take a bite.

"You're really sweet, you know that?" you say.

"I'm really not," he says with a sigh.

"Not true. Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

You go into the kitchen and return with your latest experiment: matcha cream puffs.

"Do you mind trying these for me? You're not allergic to anything, are you?"

Jason's shoulders hunch. "Are you sure you want my opinion?"

"Of course I'm sure," you say happily. "I trust you."

"You trust me," he repeats quietly.

"Yup!"

Jason takes a puff and bites. He starts to nod.

"It's really good. You're really—all your creations are—yeah. It's good."

You squint. "No notes? Really?"

"They're perfection, as my brother would say."

Fuck, you like him so much.

"Have another one," you say, pushing the tray towards him.

"I shouldn't—"

"Wait! I'll pack you some!" you interrupt, flitting back to the kitchen to get a Tupperware.

Jason helplessly accepts the container of puffs you shove into his hands.

"Let me pay-" he tries to say, but you shake your head.

"Nope! I won't accept payment for these. Not from my favorite customer."

"Your favorite?"

"My favorite," you confirm, grinning.

"Oh." His ears turn pink as he walks to the door, cream puffs in hand. "Uh, right. Thanks. See you tomorrow."

"Jason? Don't you want your tea?"

"Shit. Yeah." He returns to the counter and takes his drink. This he insists on paying for, so you let him, because you do have rent to pay, after all.

"So nice to see you!" you add, because the stiffness in his gait is kind of throwing you off.

He just nods, slipping out the door as quietly as he came.

Today, Jason's in a red workout tank. You have to make the conscious effort to not ogle his arms.

"Hey, Jason!" you say cheerily.

"Hi," he says softly.

"The usual?" you ask, and he looks up in surprise.

"You know my order?"

You gently roll your eyes. "Of course I know your order, silly. Favorite customer, remember?"

"Oh." He looks away, brow furrowed. Then he turns to you and his expression smooths over. "Yes, please. Thanks."

"Sure. Give me one second? I just have to finish decorating some sugar cookies."

"Take your time," Jason says, then goes to skulk by the window.

The door is suddenly swung harder than necessary, thumping the glass.

"Hey!"

You look up from the cookies. A man in a suit is waving his phone impatiently.

"I ordered a dozen muffins. Where are they, huh?" he demands.

"Oh, right! Well, you called ten minutes ago, so they won't be ready till six, sir. Can I get you something while you wait?"

He scoffs and stomps to the counter. You almost back down, but you don't; that's exactly what these bullies want.

"This is exactly why no one eats at dinky cafes like yours. You can't even do this!" he fumes, shoving a finger in your face.

"Sir, like I said, the muffins are baking..."

"I know the city's health inspector personally," the man spits viciously. "One call, and I can—"

"Say one more word."

You blink as Jason is suddenly between you and the customer, stood at his full height. He's all muscle and broad shoulders, looming over the guy. You peek around him.

"What the fuck, man?" the angry customer squawks. "Move!"

"No, you move," Jason says, tone lethal. "Sit quietly at a table and wait for your muffins to bake. Then you can thank the nice baker for waiting on your sorry ass and you're not gonna come back. They have far more patience for entitled fucks than I do."

"Fuck you," the man spits.

Jason calmly closes the distance between them and whispers in his ear, hand like a vice around the jerk's shoulder. You watch as he turns pale, eyes growing wider.

"Sound good?" Jason asks pleasantly, all teeth. The man gapes at him.

Wow. Yeah. This is really doing something for you.

The oven dings. You go to retrieve the muffins, packing them as quickly as possible. You give him the box and the man nods.

"Thanks," he mumbles, then scurries out of the store.

Jason turns to you, and it's like looking at a completely different person.

"You okay?" he asks, posture stiff like he's still prepared for a fight.

You nod, a little dazed.

"Yeah. Wow. Jason, I... you didn't have to do that. I mean, thank you for doing it, but..."

"Hey, that guy was a jackass. And if you have trouble with him or anyone else, call me, okay?"

This side of him stuns you. If you didn't know better, you'd think he had this exchange regularly.

"Call you?" you ask, smiling. "How will I call you if I don't have your number?"

He freezes, eyes wide. "Oh. Uh. Um..."

You lean over, elbows on your counter. He watches you. You cup your hand around your mouth, pretending to divulge a secret.

"This is where you, the cute guy who frequents my struggling cafe, gives me your number."

"You think I'm cute?" he asks.

"Devastatingly so," you say, grinning.

He's quiet for a long moment. Your smile starts to dim.

"Did I read this wrong?" you ask. "If I came off too strong..."

"No!" he says a little too loud. Jason winces. "Sorry. No. I... you're... fuck, I'm not good at this. I don't even really drink tea or coffee, to be honest. I just come in to see you."

"You do?"

Jason sighs. "Yeah. Shit. That's creepy, isn't it?"

You laugh and he visibly softens.

"No, Jason," you say warmly. "It's sweet."

"So can I still ask you on a proper date? Not coffee."

You grin. "That would be perfection."

[qkopi]

I hope this doesn't sound weird but can you do hcs about twin!miles both liking the same girl then they find out she has a twin sister 😭

omg anon… u literally had me gagged w this idea like..😧😨😏🤭😜SHOW UR SELF‼️😭

and honestly i didn’t know whether you wanted to be with miles or milo, so i js took it in my hands and decided milo would be my man🥰 but it can go both ways so🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

════════════════════════

pairings: milo x reader, twin! sister x miles / miles x reader, twin! sister x milo

cw: none

a/n: this can honestly go both ways, either you date miles or milo idc🤷🏻‍♀️

════════════════════════

by the way t/n means twin’s name

milo wouldnt take an interest in you at first since he didn’t really like socializing in class

he would just do his assignments and listen to his music

but as the weeks went by,

he would catch himself staring at you

taking a glance at your beauty marks (basically a mole on your nose, on your cheek, or above your lip)

or looking at the bracelet you wore everyday

mans would be sketching your side profile, not even noticing it until the end of class

at home, him and miles would be talking about their day at school and suddenly they got into the topic of girls

“dude there’s girl in my class and she’s new to visions, she’s amazing, she’s funny and really pretty and-”

miles kept on rambling and rambling about the girl as milo kept scrolling on his phone but still listening to his brother

“look, here’s a pic”

miles took out his phone and went on instagram to show milo who he was talking about

it was you.

milo quickly took miles’ phone and started scrolling through

you only had 1 post and a highlight of yourself

“woah, watch it, ‘Lo!”

miles took back his phone, getting worried that milo may accidentally like something from a long time ago

“my fault..” milo seemed embarrassed by what he just did.

“what you think she’s pretty too?” miles grinned, but inside he was worried, he didn’t want to like the same girl as his twin.

“no, she just.. has unique features, that’s all.” milo muttered, feeling a pit of jealousy in his stomach.

miles clearly knew he was lying but he just shrugged it off so there wouldn’t be an argument between the two of them

the past few days, milo had been trying talking to you in class but fails miserably since he didn’t know how to approach you

this was also part of the reason why milo got jealous, miles was always so nice and outgoing with everybody that he had no problem to have a simple convo with anyone

today again, milo tried talking to you but you rushed off to your class, not giving him enough time to say anything

“tomorrow, i’ll talk to her.. eventually..” milo mumbled under his breath as he sighed.

as milo was going to his next class, he then saw you, again, walking with a few friends.

“hey, miles. when did you get braids?” you asked, but it wasn’t you, it was your twin sister, t/n, but milo didn’t know that.

“uh, i’m not miles.. i’m his twin, milo.” milo responded, feeling a bit nervous.

“oh, sorry about that.. i’ll make sure to take note of that!” t/n said as she went back to her friends.

meanwhile, milo was screaming of joy internally as he went to his class. he actually got to talk to you without hesitating or stuttering over his words.

though the next day, didn’t go so well..

when milo tried talking to you, you greeted him with an awkward look since this was the first time someone talked to you in the certain class.

“hey..” milo sat next to you, taking you by a surprise.

“uhh… hi?” you said questionably, never interacting with this guy before.

meanwhile this made milo feel weird. did you forget him already? did you think he was miles again? or maybe you had already took an interest miles and thought talking to milo would’ve been weird?

yea this boy was panicking.

there, milo sat through a painfully embarrassing situation as he tried his best not to even spare you a glance anymore.

at the end of class, he saw you packing up and begin to leave until he took your wrist.

“look, t/n, i’m sorry if i weirded you out-”

“t/n? oh, i think you confused me with my twin. did you two talk yesterday?” you asked.

“yeah, actually she thought i was my twin brother, miles, but we have different hair so..” milo trailed off as he realized he was rambling.

“i’m milo.” he finally said with a sigh, wanting to get it out of his system.

“y/n.” you gave him a smile.

as you two were talking in the halls, the two of you also met your siblings.

“y/n!!” your twin ran up to you and gave you a hug.

“miles, this is my twin sister, y/n and yes, i know we look exactly alike but don’t worry, you can tell us apart just by our bracelets!” t/n showed her wrist, she had a gold bracelet meanwhile you had a silver one.

“this is..” miles didn’t have any words to describe it as he and milo looked at the two of you.

you and your sister looked exactly alike, same hair length, same facial features, same height and it didn’t help when you guys had to wear uniforms at visions.

“so this is why you were so shocked when i showed you a picture of t/n..” miles realized, giving milo a knowing smirk.

“what’s he talking about?” you asked, before miles could answer milo had already put his hand around miles’ mouth.

“well, it was cool meeting you two, uh, me and miles are gonna be late for class, uh, bye!” milo grabbed his brother as they rushed off.

“i think he’s into you.” your twin teased once the boys were fully gone.

“shut up..” you chuckled, rolling your eyes playfully as the two of you headed to your next class.

“uh-huh, just know miles is mine.” she put up a proud smile.

“didn’t want him anyways.” you responded.

then, miles and t/n got together first, as you and milo just took your time and let everything go slow

on dates, milo would always take you out shopping and getting some food after

miles and t/n would go out doing fun things together like going to the amusement park or play at the arcade

sometimes, all of you would go on a double date and do the same things together

at the amusement park, miles and milo would pictures of the both of you with the huge stuffed animal they won for you

both miles and milo would look at the picture and suddenly argue

“shes so cute..” “nah, mines way prettier”

“i-“ “well.. he didn’t lie.”

and when you two met their parents, clearly, t/n warmed up to them real quick, being respectful and outgoing at the same time but that didn’t stop them from wanting to get to know you too.

“yes, and what about you, y/n? is my milo giving you a hard time?” “mamá..” “no mrs morales, he’s really a great person to be with.”

oml there was also this one time where miles and milo invited you and t/n over to just chill at their place

but when you got there, milo was shocked.

“mami..” “what? is it bad?”

you had cut your hair, it was short, compared to t/n’s, who still had her long hair

“no.. you look.. so beautiful..”

you were turning hella red, not expecting milo to be that straightforward

meanwhile t/n was gushing to miles and pretending to fake cry.

“they’re so cute..” “mi vida, that’s literally us…” “why can’t i be treated like that?” “WHAT?”

clearly, t/n was just joking as she loved miles with all her heart

miles literally followed her everywhere, drops her off to class not caring if he’s late, sketched her multiple times in his notebook whenever he was bored, and more😻

™︎ qkopi | tumblr

[angsthology]

“oh, god, no...” — or an alt title: three people bonding over random things as alex makes a horrible decision

one of his worst ideas ever. he’s never doing it ever again.

a/n ckckckckcck i love u dino anon but i was a bit stumped on where this could go BUT i give u surprise to make it more fun i love love love alex my i wanna say pookie but i cant take that word seriously. also im guilty of oversharing roolore in these suposedly shorter chapters. and now that im realizing things this kinda suck lawl

THE KANGAROO(KIE) VS. THE WORLD

after a long day of media, roo was finally free to do whatever she pleased (that being going back to her hotel and pass out until whatever time her body wakes up). currently, she’s slipping on her backpack and taking her phone out, scrolling mindlessly on her contacts until she found the right name.

“where the hell are you?” she starts, holding her phone to her face. “alright. you wanna watch a movie ‘til we pass out?” she paused waiting for an answer as she walks out of the building, “‘kay, i’ll meet you out front.”

just as she clicked her phone off, she looked up to be met with a face that just… stood there with a smile—making her jump and scream in surprise, catching the attention of people around.

when she collected all her life (that had been scattered when she got spooked) she took notice of the source of her heart-attack. he smiled innocently still, as if he’s done nothing wrong.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

alex, the culprit in question didn’t falter (though he did flinch a little bit at her outburst), he saw this one coming and to be quite frank, he did this to himself.

“i deserved that.” he closed his eyes in acceptance of defeat. alas, he brushed it off, he moved to her side and slung a hand around her shoulder. she was about to shrug him off but decided against it. “how would you feel about helping me pick my next hair color?”

that piqued her interest, she finally looks up to come face-to-face with him again, though now a smile graced her face like a cheshire cat.

his face fell. he was starting to slowly regret his decision.

without another word, a large grin still etching her face, she fished her phone out of her pocket and started scrolling through something. when alex tried to take a peek, she immediately moved away to prevent him from doing so mumbling something along the lines of ‘corporate secrets’.

he made a face at her words. but when she finally showed him her screen, he felt as if the face he made before was a bit premature.

“what the hell is that?!” he exclaimed.

she moved her phone so she could see the picture for herself seeing not what she had opened before but rather a video instead, “oh, sorry, this was from my pitbull concert. he’s great, isn’t he?” she happily showed him the video again.

he gave her another face.

“right, uh, here.” she showed him the correct picture.

he paused. “…what is that supposed to be?”

looking at the picture again, she took a second to think about it then shrug, “neon green/yellow-ish, give or take.”

his mouth drops at her direction. “what do you mean?”

“what do you mean, ‘what do i mean’?” she takes a look at his shocked face then decided to continue, “i mean: neon green/yellow-ish!” pausing, thinking back her words, “give or take!” she pauses again and re-clarified much calmer, “okay, maybe a bit more faded and muted.”

he shook his head, non-verbally ending that part of the discussion.

“where are we even going to get that kind of color?”

she shrugs, “i know a guy.”

the two girls were now currently sitting on the couch, the doberman peacefully laying between them—her eyes too, like theirs, glued to the television playing jurassic park when suddenly a knock came, shifting all three of the girls’ attention towards it.

roo was about to get up to check who it was. being who she was, she had to be extra careful who to let into her living quarters.

“it’s me!” the other side announced.

she looked away from the door and blinked, her brows screwing together in thought until she realized who that voice belonged to.

“alex?” she tested the waters.

“yeah!”

she sighed, her eyes then looking expectantly at the dog that lied beside her, tilting her head as if she were the dog asking their owner for something.

the dog whimpers as if groaning at her request. alas, she jumped off the couch begrudgingly walking towards the door and jumping up to open it.

“he— huh?” alex stopped in his tracks when instead of seeing his friend right behind the door, she was way far sitting on the couch with her friend. she greeted him nonetheless then motioning her hand towards the dog that sat quaintly besides the door, smiling up at him happily.

“oh!” he raised his brows in surprise then bending down to pet the dog who happily accepted, “who’s this fella?” he asked in a high-pitched voice, his accent stronger than usual.

“that’s jet, she’s mine.” roo answered from the couch, jurassic park long forgotten. “what are you doing here?” she asked the brit.

alex then moved his attention away from the dog, his hand still petting her chin, “uhm—i need your help.”

“with what?” her voice slightly gurgling from taking a sip of her drink.

he then holds up the boxes of hair dye with a forced awkward smile.

she gave him a look, “what about your girlfriend?”

“busy today,” he shrugged.

“then do it tomorrow.” she counters.

“okay, fine, i’m bored and alone.” he confessed.

she wanted to help; she really did but—

she groaned loudly; head thrown back to rest on the back of the couch.

“would you believe me if i say my ass is glued and have already morphed into this couch?”

“i would, actually.”

suddenly, from far behind on the other side of the couch—her presence almost forgotten—nika made herself present, “i’ll help. my ass is getting tired of the couch and i’m pretty good with handling people’s hair; i actually spent a summer working in my mom’s salon once.”

roo the gasped, turning around to face her friend with her jaw slack in shock—sarcasm written all over her face—“you had a job? like an actual job? once upon a time?”

“oh shut the fuck up,” she waved off the racing driver and stood up from her seat on the couch over to the other. “now get up, let’s do this.”

about a half an hour into their attempt, nika and alex had set up a mini salon chair using one of the hotel’s dining table chairs with a layer of plastic sitting on the ground. the latter sat on a chair in the middle of the room with a cloth draped over the top of his body. if anyone were to come in through the front door right now, they would assume kidnapping with a side of chemical testing. nika herself had changed into one of her uglier shirts incase they would accidentally get some dye on it.

the alfa romeo driver, on the other hand, still sat where she was the entire time unmoving and un-helping, now having the large dog sat on her lap feeding treats off of her hand while the other scratches the dog between her ears.

“alright. i think that’s all of your hair.” the girl stepped back from her friend’s friend’s hair, admiring the work she’s done. “now we wait. —good luck al,” she said as she took off the plastic gloves that were now mostly green.

alex—whose chair was facing the door for some reason—gripped the chair with his two (clean) hands and moved it around along with himself so he can face the couch. “so…” he looked between his co-worker and her friend, “does she just… go everywhere with you?”

“yeah.” she answered shortly before continuing, “you guys have wags i have… this.”

he looked at nika again, “no offense to you, but—”

“it’s fine, have you met her?” she shrugged pointing at the little shit she unfortunately calls a friend.

he chuckled then continued, “what about daisy-mae? i thought she was your best friend?”

“she is. this one’s just fit baggage claim. plus—daisy’s a serious scholar she’s still very busy getting her degree.”

from the kitchen sink, nika scoffed, “yeah, while she’s stuck with me around the world, mae’s stuck with atticus in college.”

alex the jumped into the conversation at the familiar name, “oh! the drummer, right?”

“yes.”

“oh—hey,” nika turned around from the sink and walked to the closest counter to the two friends, “there’s still quite some left, who wants it?”

as if sensing an idea in the air, jet jumps off roo’s lap and ran into another room.

said girl sighs, “man, knew jet was too smart for trips like this. should’ve known i should’ve brought bennie instead.”

as if the dog heard her, a bark came from the other room.

“whatever. i guess that’s one option out the window,” she turns to nika over the counter, “do me!” she smiles happily.

“alright. your death wish.”

alex, who was momentarily smiling, dropped his previous expression, “wait what—”

te1enoviyuhs

liked by daisymaerose, selvnika, and 836,735 others

tagged: selvnika and lilymhe

te1enoviyuh some notes from yours truly:

lilymhe why did u have to dump babysitting duties

and gooddyeyoung thank u for the hair dye i love hayley williams 🥰

and uh i guess awstenknight thanks for the hookup and free dye

and to everyone else!!!! hey. dump acc just dropped

see all 836 comments.

backbiteroo WHO LET YOU DO THIS

te1enoviyuh backbiteroo myself. i am a grown woman.

selvnika the nika salon is now open for business 🥰

te1enoviyuh selvnika i hope you bankrupt and close

selvnika te1enoviyuh kiss yourself.

norrislftv selvnika ??????

norrislftv OH

alex_albon why was i not tagged 😕 i thought we were twins now

te1enoviyuh alex_albon hm. sure. u wish

daisymaerose hi jet

liked by te1enoviyuh

gaslytv what does... alex mean... when he said... twins...

schupastry this is so random but so cute

awstenknight youre welcome grinch

te1enoviyuh awstenknight 🖕

lilymhe 😬😬 i apologize for having a job

te1enoviyuh lilymhe don’t apologize for that. apologize for not taking ur kid to work.

lilymhe te1enoviyuh that i won’t apologize for.

50kidgaroos BABE WAKE UP NEW DUMP ACCOUNT JUST DROPPED

taglist; @treehouse-mouse @disneyprincemuke @yansbolobao @leilanixx @judespoision @vellicora @bborra

[futterurl]

hi! I'm coming with an idea for a josh futturman x reader smut fic, so... I was thinking of a scenario where the reader is Josh's friend, and one day, they come to his house to give back a game they borrowed from him. without hesitation and knocking, they enter his room, but... he's pleasing himself. It's a bit awkward, but eventually, the reader asks if he can help him with it and then gives him blowjob or smth 🫢 I'd love to see this in a fic!

RHIS ID SO REAL ANON I LOVE THE WAY U THINK!!!!!!! hes in my head all day might as well givd him some🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

WARNINGS: gn!reader, blowjob, cumming in mouth

- - - - - - -

it was a nice day out, you walking over to your friend josh’s house. you had borrowed a video game from him awhile back that he recommended you play. finally, after a few weeks, you beat the entire thing. god, you were such a loser.

you let yourself in to his house with a key you had. you both had keys to each other’s houses. you both had been best friends for so long, it became normal to waltz in to the others house to get stuff, pick up packages, or just a place to crash for a little while.

you didn’t see his parents home, or him, for that matter. you closed the door behind you, shoving your keys in your picket. you walked to the kitchen to grab yourself a glass of water. you shouldn’t have walked over while it was so hot out.

while you got yourself a bit of water, you started to think about josh. your mind would wander every now and then about him. so what if he was a loser boy who gamed for a living? he was funny, shy, and cute. what’s not to like?

for starters, he had a pretty jawline. it was very sharp. you also loved his hair. his hair was one of your favorite things about him. whenever the both of you were together, you’d find yourself playing with his hair every now and then.

oh, how you wished you could pull on his hair as he sucked on your-

you shook your head, trying to swipe the thought away. you couldn’t think about your best friend like that. you weren’t even here for that! you just had to return the video game.

you walked up to his room, video game in hand, ready to call or tell him about it and how much fun it was. you didn’t think he was home, as the house was practically dead silent. you’d just leave the game on his desk and leave. simple as that.

you opened his door and it wasn’t that simple at all.

staring back at you was josh, panting on his bed with his hard erection in his hand. the video game slipped out of your grasp, falling onto the floor.

after a few seconds of the most awkward silence you had ever had to sit through, you opened your mouth. “what the fuck, josh.”

“what do you mean what the fuck??? this is my house!!” he panicked, pulling his boxers up to conceal his throbbing cock. “what the fuck are you doing here?”

“i’m returning the fucking game you let me borrow! that’s all! i didn’t know anyone was home!” you yelled back.

“shit, um..i’m sorry you…uh..if you saw…uh..yeah…” his words started to turn into mutters.

“dude, it’s fine. it’s normal. i’m not grossed out. promise. we all do it from time to time.” you started to slowly walk into his room, hoping he would calm down.

“i look like a fucking weirdo. i promise i’m not.” he held his head in his hands. this was the most embarrassing moment of his entire life.

“josh. really, don’t sweat it. we all masturbate. i shouldn’t have walked in like that. it’s my fault, if anything.” you wanted to hug him. he was typically the insecure type, and this wasn’t helping. at all.

an idea popped into your head. an awful, genius idea. an idea that would maybe calm his nerves. everything was on the table now. you couldn’t make things worse.

“i could…i could help you with that. if you want.” you said barely loud enough so he could hear.

he perked up, looking at you. had he heard you correctly? there’s no way…

“what?” he asked, voice wavering.

you looked down to his concealed erection. “i could help you with it, if you’d like. i don’t want you to feel like this is something you should be embarrassed about.” you sat on the bed next to him.

“are…are you sure?” he asked. he almost pinched himself, not believing this was real.

“yes’ i’m sure, josh.” you tried to play it cool, like your heart wasn’t pounding out of your chest. were you being too bold?

“o-only if you want to, of course! sorry, i didn’t mean to make you feel forced or anything. just ignore what i said. i..i was just kidding! the last thing i wanna do is make you even more uncomfortable-” you were rambling at this point.

josh stopped you. “no, please. i want you to do this so bad.” his eyes looked down at his cock, throbbing through his boxers, pleading for a release. your eyes also looked down, then met his.

you got up and wedged yourself in between his thighs, getting close up to his tent in his boxers. you traced the outline of it with your finger, making him jolt with pleasure.

“gonna have to take these off for me, josh, okay?” you asked, tenderness in your voice. you knew how careful you had to be around intimacy.

he nodded his head, spurting okays and tugging his boxers off. only then did you really get a good look at his hardened cock. you saw every detail of it: the pink tip, the way it curved, its length.

“d-don’t stare, ‘s weird.” he tried to avert your eyes to anything else, starting to get a bit nervous.

“alright, i won’t stare. i’ll get to it.” you said, testing the waters as you kissed the tip. he jolted, you knew that felt really good.

“shit…” he breathed heavily. he couldn’t believe what he was seeing: his best friend, on their knees, kissing and looking at his cock. it felt unreal, like he was gonna wake up any second.

he was reminded that this was real, however, when you swirled your tongue around his tip. his head fell back with a groan. you hadn’t even put it in your mouth but it already felt so fucking good.

he started to get restless, wanting more yet being so overstimulated at the same time, pulling at your hair lightly. “please, more.” he pleaded, not caring how desperate he seemed to be.

you obliged as your mouth sunk down on him, taking the tip and a bit of his length, attempting to run your tongue all over it. he tugged at your hair even more, feeling so good. he didn’t want this to ever end.

your head bobbed down even more, until finally taking all his length, mouth connecting with the base. he let out a loud moan.

“please. move. fuck, feels too damn good.” he was begging at this point, and who were you to deny a man his wishes?

your head moved up and down in tiny thrusts, testing the waters of how much you could take without having breathing issues. it was all worth it to bring your eyes up to him, seeing his scrunched up eyes, mouth open, moaning and whimpering, and head thrown back. it was mesmerizing.

you started to bob your head up and down on him faster, tongue running down his cock with every move. every second of movement brought him closer and closer to his release. one of your hands ran circles around his thigh, partially holding him steady.

“shit, shit, starting t’ get close. fuck.” his hips threatening to jolt up into your mouth. he knew he wouldn’t last long, him already being hard, but with him in your mouth, watching his best friend’s head bob up and down on his length? he’d be done in seconds.

your tongue swirled around the tip, giving yourself a second to breathe. “please, josh, cum in my mouth. know you can do it, give it to me.” you got back to work, head moving furiously on his cock, trying to bring him to his sweet release he had been trying to chase by himself earlier.

“gonna come, fuck, feels so good, please, please…” he started to whimper incoherent babbles as you ran your tongue sloppily up and down his pretty cock.

after one last bob of your head, his hips started jolting, and you started to feel spurts of cum shooting into the back of your throat in ropes. you kept moving, trying to help him ride through his orgasm as he kept moaning and rambling as he came.

once he stopped moaning so hard and regulated his breath, you slowly took him out of your mouth, disconnecting with his tip with a pop. you took a gulp, swallowing all his seed. he would hate to admit how hot he thought that was.

“do you feel better now?” you asked getting up and sitting beside him as he lay down on his bed.

“that…holy shit that was fantastic.” he breathed, chest heaving. “you have the mouth of a fucking god. thank you so much.”

“hey, ‘s just helping a friend out, right?” you replied, rubbing one of his arms. “hope that did help.”

“yeah, that was so great. holy shit.” he sat up, thinking.

‘helping a friend out.’ he thought to himself. next time, he was gonna help you out, and make sure you guys weren’t just friends anymore. what you just did was one of the best things he ever experienced, and he wanted to make sure you’d know that and get repayment someday.

that could wait, though. he had to take it slow.

“so, which game did you wanna bring back to me that started all this?”

[lovelynim]

omggg, congrats on your milestone Fabi, i'm so happy for u <3🪷✨ for the request, uh- may i humbly suggest writing something with lee!Rafayel and ler!Reader? maybe using him as a canvas for real lol- i'm- i'm sorry it's just- ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ🤌🏻

I didn't expect this many Rafayel's fans to show up in such a short amount of time, hahaha

But since you guys want to see him get got so much, who am I to disagree? ~

Also, my apologies to the last anon, but I'm smushing you together with the other two since it's the same characters, hope you don't mind!

Thin, thick, long and soft brushes, all scattered around your canvas. A color palette with different shades of red, yellow and orange, perfect to paint a beautiful sunset. If the canvas in question wasn’t putting so much effort in trying to run away, this would probably be the most peaceful painting session you ever experienced. But as Rafayel, a great and known artist once said, “chaos is a symbol of wisdom, every genius has a messy desk”.

“If you don’t stop moving, I’m going to have to start all over, Rafayel,” you tease him, keeping a firm grip around his wrists while you drag the paintbrush all the way from his forearm down to his ribs, leaving a light yellow trace behind. 

“Sohohomeohohone, hehEHEHelp!! T-thihihis is tohohorturehEHEHE!!” Rafayel cried out as if this was some kind of murder attempt. However, no matter how much he pleaded or begged, his words wouldn’t make it to your heart - not this time, not after testing your patience for so damn long.

You click your tongue, shaking your head, pretending to pity the poor artists. “Torture? This is art, Rafayel. And art is supposed to be felt, right?” You smirked, not caring the least about the fresh drops of paint sliding down your canvas and tainting the floor underneath him. “Now, I think we could use some red here,” you explained calmly while Rafayel watched in horror while you dipped the paintbrush in the red ink and brought it back to your canvas - also known as his bare torso.

“NohoHOHOH!!” He laughed, kicking his feet like a little kid throwing a tantrum, but there was no way you were going to let him go this easy. “Plehehehease! I sahAHahaid I’m sohohorry!”

He twisted and turned his body away, trying to avoid at all costs the brush covered in ink that was dancing over his stomach, tickling his tummy with soft and quick strokes, one after the other, over and over again.

“You should feel sorry for making me work so hard just to paint a little,” you grunted, tightening your grip around his wrists while you circled his navel with the paint brush. With a sadistic look on your eyes, you admired his face - a complete mess of laughter, you could barely tell the drops of paint and the natural blush on his cheeks apart. Cute. “Now, I think we need to add another layer of orange here, the colors are a bit bland…”

“AHahAHAHA, i-it’s goohohohod! N-no mohohore lahahayers!!” He laughed, gasping when you tried to draw a little awkward-shaped sun on his chest. The redness on his cheeks was starting to spread down to his neck, the colors of his skin mixing with the ones from the ink, creating something that actually looked like a sunset - well, maybe if you squint your eyes a little, but still a sunset. 

“Ahaha- p-please!” Rafayel wheezed, dropping his head back into the floor tiredly, trying to catch up his breath. His body trembled, tingling all over. “Y-you should let… t-the ink dry before… continuing…”

With the paintbrush still in your hand, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

[thatdeadaquarius]

m thinkin abt the “blunt vs flowery” language thing and…… in the year of our lord 2023, i don't even want to imagine how far back we'd have to go in genshins timeline until we see ‘hey shawty' written on a cave wall-

you try to be better about it, sometimes, using only the fanciest words and the most floral of tones, but all you ever succeed in doing is giving zhongli flashbacks to the archon war-

in the same vein: modern humor. would literally make them think "is this some sort of divine joke im too mortal to understand?" except even the archons need to cite sources on why a piece of bread falling over would be funny- maybe you slip sometimes, but you only ever get halfway through like “i’m neurodivergent and a minor” before you realize they don’t know what that means— “what if i had blue hair and pronouns” but they’re just sitting there like… doesn’t everybody have pronouns….? and kaeya has blue hair- are you implying he’s divine? what about chongyun?? xingqiu??????

anyway um. this is me bringing up my unfortunate (but very funny) habit of saying “i’ll boil you like soup” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced and hoping it triggers Thoughts about the casual/slang threats we make and how they cope

sorry if this reads incoherently it’s 1am for me rn— also i’m debating becoming a regular anon here, are your applications open? 👉👈

SORRY IF I RAN U OFF BY NOT REPLYING QUICKLY!! BUT I’D LOVE TO HAVE LABELLED ANONS! I’ve already added some taken name I could see in my mailbox so check the pinned post and choose whatever isn’t taken! phrase or emoji, etc.! :)

this isnt super long bc ur stuff seemed chill on its own/idk what I could add! So I just focused on one aspect

gif is literally everyone reacting to you trying to speak “flowery” like them lol

ALSO u guys probably dont remember bc I took so long but I’m still writing/going to post that Blunt Lang. AU Fanfic One-Shot! so here’s some quick headcanons ill add on ive got anon!!

No TWs/Content Warnings. SFW.

so this was gonna be chill but-

BESDIES RANDOM SHIT LIKE MEME REFERENCES

THAT WONT MAKE SENSE TO THEM BC INHERENT INTERNET/DIGITAL UNDERSTANDING NEEDED

WHAT IF ALL UR JOKES OR REFERENCES ARE QUITE LITERALLY, ANCIENT??

like anon said about even the archons having to pull out sources/cite your stuff to understand it, like finding really old tablets/scrolls/carved wall words 😭

u giving Zhongli a history lesson/brush up LMAO

If ur annoyed at them u just need to make more jokes, leave em scrambling for their pocket notes LOL

I like to think since you sound the OLDEST

that the ancient shit like Phanes/Four Shades/Seven Sovereigns are the closest in speech

(look theyre all alive and shit for my genshin, goddamit i still gotta tell u guys abt my genshin fill-in lore au)

and they’re closer to the “beginning of history” in teyvat so theyd get more references

theyd literally understand u the best and they like, all in the Abyss or like deep in Teyvat,

so u just casually strolling up to Azdaha’s place instead like

“How’s your day been Azhy?”

“Same as the days many before, my lord. How are thee?”

“Good enough, hey, why don’t I bring some food from my old world by that I’ve made for you to try out? Something new, y’know?”

camera pan left to see Zhongli looking up, then back down as he scribbles notes trying to better understand, Xiao has crossed his arms and is squinting, Ganyu is behind Zhongli and is trying to peek over his shoulder, Cloud Retainer and other adepti have like hidden nearby to overhear lol

♤

FLASHBACKS FOR ZHONGLI-

HE’S OVER HERE LIKE

“Please do not disturb your countenance my Wànsuìyé, the vernacular is pleasant to mine ears and sufficient for speech.”

“I shall, uh, try my best Zhongli, thought I know ye have- wait- thy have? Whatever, accepted it, I shall keep attempting to better match thee!”

HIS FACE-

He’s literally just → 😰😣💀

(flashback to at least 1 really ancient/old god he had to fight for his life against, they were the hardest battle he’s ever faced, and Azhdaha was helping him by that point too, so it wasn’t even like he won alone… rip zhongli got ptsd)

He keeps trying to subtly stop you from practicing it, he also desperately discourages others from helping you 😭

(Zhongli was about to be called Rex Lapis again when Venti was trying to get on his last nerve by constantly encouraging you to speak fancier, but in the incorrect way, at dinner with them one time)

Like that last content with them pretending not to kow each other but 5x the tension and Venti is fooling around even more so than usual lol

THANKS FOR SENDING IN YOUR IDEAS!! I FUCKING LOVE HEARING OTHER PPLS BRAINROTS OVER STUFF!! AND SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK FOREVER!! ITS BEEN A ROUGH YEAR OF UNI FOR ME/IM GRADUATING!! <333 TYSM ANON!!

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylazaa / @genshin-impacts-mee / @wholesomey-artistt / @thedevioussmirk

[bright-and-burning]

68 and 69!!

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

oh hundreds, certainly. probably thousands, given just how long i've been reading fic. i wouldn't say i look at fic and go 'oh i need to do this exact thing like that' but i would say a) im an amalgamation of everything i've ever touched/read/watched/experienced and b) that i do look at lots of my friends' stuff and go wow they r so good i hope i am that good some day. lots of people whose stuff i admire and want to emulate for lots of reasons!! im just not someone who picks apart their own writing like That? so. i did JUST tell dees @leclercenjoyer that i've always been like "god i hope my fics r even half as chewy and cash register noise inducing as yours" the other night. if you go to like, the earliest four pages of my bookmarks (on my f1 pseud specifically lol.) you'll find lots of fic i've probably parasitically bitten bits off of and absorbed into my own stuff. actually honestly all . pages of my bookmarks. i think i've probs nabbed quite a bit off of @freeuselandonorris @monacotrophywife @glasscushion et. al. (amongst Many Many Others) for SURE although to what degree i could not tell you. somebody should go read my old pre-f1 fic and report back on if there's any noticeable differences besides the glaring lack of porn. cuz if there is then i got it from somewhere 'round here. this is such a non-answer im so sorry i would love if i was self-aware enough as a writer to go oh yes THIS influenced me in this specific way etc etc. but i write more uh instinctually than intellectually

69. What are your favorite fics at the moment?

oh LOADS. well actually i've kinda been in a reading rut woooo depression. BUT drop by my bookmarks i think i just hit 450 f1 bookmarks the other day lol (tho i think there's a couple private bookmarks from when i was a lurker so it might not appear as 450 to outside eyes). wish u could sort history by most viewed... off the top of my head tho: @foggieststars 's off to the races series is obviously an insane classic. ao3 history says i've visited the first one 28 times. lol. oh my god also can i give an EXTREME rec for anon's take me all the way. (dando btw). so good. so hot. jesus christ. i would like to offer anon homemade baked goods for their services.

uhhhh i wish i had more to offer in specifics here. you dont even wanna know the state of my drafts; i've been saving all the fics i want to read to there so there's like. twenty straight fic posts i need to get on... actually speaking of things i need to get to reading, @elementalmoments 's not!fic verse (of which the first two i devoured and the third is sitting in my drafts to be devoured) is also incredible!!

from here

[fishtankwater]

Good morning! could u do kazuichi nsfw alphabet :) gn or fem reader plsss and pref top reader have a nice day :D

OH THANK FUCK I FINALLY GOT A REQUEST

I was getting so bored waiting on one 😭

Uh anyway Tysm to this anon

AND HOLY SHIT I HAVE RSV. I AHVE A BABY VIRUS. A BABY VIRUS. SOBBING

Anyway my bad for ranting

Kazuichi souda x GN!Reader

CW- nsfw shit that’s it idk what to put here anymore 😭🤛🏻

Currently listening- Dumb Dick

A-Aftercare

Bro…Kaz would give so many kisses and praise the SHIT out of you. But if you degraded him he would need praise cuz let’s be honest he would think it’s true and probs cry

Also he’ll probably struggle to know what you want and ask 2663825372 questions. PLEASE shower with him after he wants it. Do it. You know you want to

B-Body part

Him- his muscles 💀

I forget he’s muscular sometimes it’s genuinely so weird to think abt. But PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SQUEEZE HIS BICEPS he loves it sm.

You- let’s be honest. The titties if u have em if not you chest in general

That whole vicinity is just chefs kiss to him If you have tits he will put his hands up ur shirt and squeeze them while cuddling and he’d probs calm them his “best friends” 💀

C- Cum

The first time he came as a kid he probably got scared cuz he didn’t know what it was and called his dad and was like “HELPPP” 😭. Ok I’m sorry for bullying him

His cum is probably sweet with a salty aftertaste if that makes sense and he cums a small amount so uh savor it while you can 😘

D-Dirty secret

Bro has so many pics of you naked in his camera roll he also records your moans/whimpers while y’all fuck tbh

AND HE SAVES EVERY VIDEO OF YOU HE CAN FIND he will become a professional stalker the second y’all become intimate or start dating

E-Experience

Unpopular opinion but I think he has a decent amount of experience like— not with women with the men AND HE WILL STILL DENY TAHT HE IS BISEXUAL “no I only did it because I was bored” AHHAHAHSHSHSJSHSJ

F-Favorite position

Please ride him. Please. Do it

OR SUCK HIM OFF IN THE SHOWER SUDHEHDHDBDJHE

“D-darlin-A-ah!”

STOP I CANT BRWTAHE

G- Goof Off

Depends what mood he’s in like sometimes he’ll be chillin laid back not caring how he acts and sometimes he’ll be stressed and just want to love you n shit

H- Hair

Def dyed his pubes pink LMAO

but there’s little to nonexistent hair

J-Jack off

Always thinks of you when it happens cuz he’s too embarrassed to ask for your help (poor baby)

L- Location

Anywhere anytime you ask he provides 💀

He prefers the bed to shower tho tbh

M-Motivation

Anything you do lol

But specifically seeing ur thighs, ass, or seeing you change or the thought of you showering like you being naked he has a urge to come in there with you tbh

N-Nuhuh

No hurting you bedsides a lil biting and maybe spanking. He also doesn’t wanna degrade you like he loves you and has no reason to think otherwise. Also other than overstim and biting he doesn’t wanna be hurt like bro 😔

O- Oral

Giver 💪🏻

Bro…the only time he will EVER overstim u is during oral like 😍 he loves your taste he can’t help it

When receiving he will buck his hips squirm whimper and cry tbh like out of happiness like it feels so good he can’t help it

P- Pace

Slow and steady wins the race

Bro will edge himself he doesn’t wanna go fast n hurt you to rush for it to be over he lovessss making love to you

Q- Quickies

“NOT HAPPENING!” -kazuichi souda

R-Risk

YES bro if your ok with it he will do it

He loves having public sex sm

S-Stamina

As long as you want him to go he will go

Wanna go for 5 hours? Ok bet he may not have much stamina that’s why he loves riding or cowgirl

T-Toy

Nope nada nee

HE wants to pleasure YOU not some toy

U-Unfair

No he would never but when you tease him he gets so shocked like jaw dropped to the floor but he loves it it’s like OSNHECSHSGHEHBRHEJHEH

V-Volume

WHIMPER-ER

Bro when he does moan he will moan so loudly too like are you trying to get the neighbors to call the cops on us??

W- Wild card

He gets jealous of gundham and pulls you aside to fuck the shit out of you like one of the only times he ever told you is when he’s jealous

X-X-Ray

I watched a video on yt that gives headcannon dog their dick size and tbh it seems kind of accurate his was 5 inches which I think it would maybe like that or 6 inch anywhere between 5-6 inches tbh (6inch= 15.24 centimeters 5inch= 12.7 centimeters for my non American people)

Y-Yearning

He’s horny 24/7/365 ok shut up

Z-ZZZZZZZ

He will be tired but try to stay awake to eat drink take a shower and then he’s out 😘

[finniestoncrane]

Idk if you would feel like doing this, but can you give your Headcanon for Riddler listening to his S/O Infodump on their special Interest/Hyperfixation. Just something a bit cute I guess ? I love your work 🙏🧡

S/O Special Interest

Riddler Headcanons eep, ok so i don't think the s/o of any riddler would be allowed to infodump because let's be honest, there's not enough time for eddie to ramble on AND listen to you talk 💚 (also thank you anon ;-;) request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: i really don't think there's anything, some suggestive comments maybe but there always is with capullo u-u

dano

resting his chinin his hands with his gooey eyes on

he's just smitten by the way you talk, and the things you love

although admittedly, he just likes hearing your voice

he could listen to you insulting him

and he'd still be just as happy to sit there with a silly grin on

unburied

surprisingly, he is an attentive listener

it's fun to learn about new topics

and you always know so much about the things you love

so it's delightful to hear you go on about them

especially when it's a shared interest

arkham

he worked alone, but never in silence

he liked to have the radio on, just a bit of background noise

to stave away the true isolation

now he doesn't have to waste a socket to plug the radio in

because he has you, plus he gets to learn about your fixations!

twojar

i could see him being completely attentive in his own way

like yeah, he's got work to do, he has to be at his desk

but you can sit on the edge of it and talk his ears off

and he'll ask you questions to show he's still listening

and tell you how much more fun it is to work with you around

gotham

it's a miracle either of you get a word in around each other

you don't mean to interrupt out of rudeness

you both just get so excited by the other's enthusiasm

it's an infodump battle

who can get the most information out the quickest

btaa

aw bless him because he doesn't realise he's doing it

but he's chronically self-involved

"oh that reminds me of when i did this!"

i guess it means he is listening to you though

it's just... maybe you could talk about him instead now?

telltale

i am so sorry but he gives me big "disinterested dad" vibes

he's just repeating "uh huh" over and over again

not really listening to you

he has better things to think about

and he'll be brutally honest in telling you that

young justice

omg he could listen to you talk for hours and hours

everything you say, he's so interested in it

mostly because it's coming out of your pretty mouth

and because you're willing to share with him

so he has all the time in the world to listen to you

capullo

did you know that when you get excited about a topic

your eyes light up and get all shiny

the same way they do when he's inside of you

what!? you've been talking for sooooo long

you could at least do something for him while you ramble on...

[ryuichirou]

Replies

I’ve been writing nothing but headcanons during the weekend, so let’s catch up! It’s Monday tradition at this point.

The majority of replies are somewhat related to our recent posts (not every single one though)

Anonymous asked:

What is Katsu's tumblr and what fandoms do they post for?

Katsu mostly uses every platform for lurking (aside from like one personal non-fandom page) and only posts on the Nebula College tumblr, which is our project.

But also, all the fandom stuff that Katsu does is tied to my posting, so it’s all here! Mostly in form of ideas behind some art/comics and sometimes posts.

Anonymous asked:

Do you mind tagging stuff with p*ss specifically? It makes me uncomfortable so I would prefer to be able to exclude them by tags. I'm sorry if this comes off as rude!

I am sorry, Anon, but as you might have noticed, we don’t tag this kind of stuff (for several reasons).

Please use post content filtering; it should filter the entire post (not just the tags) and hide it for you if p*ss or any other theme that you are uncomfortable with is mentioned.

Thank you.

Anonymous asked:

What did Malleus do?

(this is about this post)

Demanded attention, got refused and still decided to kiss Lilia. Lilia is having a hard time with this boy sometimes… Or is it Malleus who is having a hard time with Lilia?

Anonymous asked:

I LOVE THE GOOFILY DRAWN FLOYD

I died of laughter

(this is about this post)

THANK YOU ANON, I love when these little doodles work well with the comic and I get to keep them in the final edit. This is like Floyd’s true essence…

Anonymous asked:

Azul Ashengrotto: Fastest Man Alive 😒

(this is about this post)

I know, right? And he’s proud of it, too!!

Anonymous asked:

Floyd gets beat up on purpose so he can go see Riddle, I just know it.

(this is about this post)

This seems to be the most common conclusion, Anon! But actually Floyd is just way too silly and irresponsible… Azul and Jade keep telling him that he should always have a gun to defend himself, but Floyd keep pushing his luck.

Maybe he really does love coming back to see Riddle for the third time in one week~

Anonymous asked:

are you strict on riddle only being shipped with trey, che'nya, ace and floyd? or are you open to other ships as well?

im asking this because i wanted to ask about your thoughts on certain ships, but i do not wish to overstep. so i just want to make sure!

In general, as long as it doesn’t break the top/bottom thing (see our pinned for details), we don’t mind anything, so feel free to ask!

Anonymous asked:

some times i just look at your tops and bottom lists and throw characters together. like Gidel/Leona because Imagining a stray domestic kitten fucking grown lion royalty… so uh thank you for that mental image!

Anon, this is a fun game lol Sometimes randomness brings such interesting ships that you end up shipping it unironically, I think we’ve had multiple ships like that in other fandoms….

Gidel/Leona though 😭 Leona would automatically assume that Gidel is just as naïve and stupid as any other kitten and regret his judgment greatly. Gidel is a menace to this grown lion royalty…

Anonymous asked:

I see the ship thing has 2 doms sharing a sub like tweels x riddle

But what do u think about 2 subs sharing a dom? I have no idea what an example would be.

We’re more prone to multiple tops/doms + a single sub/bottom, but that doesn’t mean that another scenario is completely impossible! If it works with the dynamic, we’ll love it. But for some reason, I guess we’re just not that interested. It’s good in theory, but doesn’t click, idk why.

Theoretically… Ace could have a wet dream about both Deuce and Riddle at the same time, for example. Azul would love to have Idia and Jamil at the same time too, but this is also a realm of his intense power fantasies lol

Lilia could have fun with multiple boys too, technically nothing stops him. Well, he probably wouldn’t add Malleus to the mix though because it might offend him lol

Rook would also enjoy having multiple subs at once tremendously…

Anonymous asked:

How would the tweels share their partner doing sex? Would they take turns or shove their dicks in at the same time? So basically double penetration

I think they would do both, Anon. They would start with taking turns, but then at some point Floyd would get impatient and say that he doesn’t want to wait + doesn’t want to get his dick sucked either, so Jade has to either move over and get lost or suggest double penetration. And it’s pretty obvious that he would pick the second option~

But also I think it depends on a hole and how stretchy it is…

Anonymous asked:

Ever since I got into Danganronpa, I entertain myself by making executions for random characters. Azul’s is looking pretty gruesome thus far.

OHHH Azul would have an amazing execution.

But I also feel like he would end up becoming a takoyaki or something among the lines.

Anonymous asked:

"Results on the jellyfish sting experiment:

The recent fieldtrip to the beach, which in my boundless graciousness I offered to the students as a chance to rest away from their obligations, has revealed to be the perfect environment in which to prepare this test. To measure each dorm's loyalty and their ability to take swift decisions when deprived of magical aids, we took notes on their reactions after each housewarden was stung by a jellyfish.

Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw students were the quickest to spring into action, leaving their housewardens little time to protest before providing relief with their own urine. We had made preparations in advance to make sure that no one would get hurt if they had decided to lash out, but it seems we might have underestimated the danger that Rosehearts poses even without his magic. We wish for all the unfortunate victims a speedy recovery.

Both Octavinelle and Pomefiore were far more willing to let their leaders take care of the problem. I had accurately predicted that the ones selected by the spirit of the Beautiful Queen would know better than just believe some baseless rumours, and it seems that Octavinelle students might have believed Ashengrotto to be used to this sort of incidents as an acquatic creature himself. Interestingly, when the two housewardens were stung by the jellyfish and some of their students were wondering if they should urinate on it, both vice-housewardens had responded individually with "How should we do that? It already swam away!". Needless to say, neither housewarden appreciated the joke.

As expected, we weren't able to get Al-Asim without also hurting Viper who, despite our best efforts to catch them while his guard was down, took the first hit for him. The Scarabia dorm split pretty evenly to tend to the two of them, and it surprised me greatly to note that their housewarden already knew about how inefficient urine is as a remedy. Viper on the other hand was unable to get his exuberant helpers to listen to him. I suppose that they may not yet fully trust his judgement after the events that took place during winter break. Even so, they were all so eager to aid him, I can't help but get teary eyed witnessing the care they hold in their hearts for their vice-housewarden.

Diasomnia students ended up spilling more tears than any other fluid, rallied on by Vanrouge to assist their leader. Were they tears of pride in being of use to the heir of Briar Valley? Or shame for sullying him? When questioned about it, the students weren't quite sure either. They also had to restrain one of the first years, who will remain anonymous, from chasing after the culprit into the depths of the ocean to get revenge.

Similarly, the younger Shroud also took the lead, giving his fellow dormmates a speech that I found far more... unothodox than Vanrouge's. At times he made it sound almost like the real objective would be the humiliation of their housewarden, which stirred the students in a completely different direction from the one I intended. For a brief moment I was afraid that it would lead to a prank war the likes of which I haven't seen as headmaster since the great hedgehog repopulation incident from fifteen years ago...

P.S. Funya~! Why doesn't anyone just pee in the sea when they go in? That way it cancels out the jellyfish venom when it stings you!"

Just decided to be a funny guy in the ask box today...

(this is related to this post holy shit)

Anon, I am honestly speechless. I don’t even have anything to add, let me just stand up and clap. It wasn’t just a jellyfish sting, it was a proper behavioural + sociological survey!! 😭

I really chuckled on the “it already swam away” part, more than I should have…

Plus the little comment from none other than the fluffiest peeing-in-the-sea expert, it makes it extra perfect.

Thank you for this ask…

[p4nishers]

i don't know if you even posted about it but

which discworld books have you read already?? and maybe you have some favourites like I STRONGLY SUSPECT THAT IT'S NIGHT WATCH but what if im absolutely wrong..please share

anon i will lay my life down for you i've been waiting for this for so so long (literally since november. but whatever)

so. from the rincewind series i've only read the last continent and unseen academicals bc reasons. one of them being is that i am weirdly passionate about the ridcully/bursar ship only i care about and they're developed enough characters by those books for me to actually have something to ship. i can't think of other reasons but. they're there definitely i promise. oh yeah unseen academicals was by FAR my fav from the two but i found the ending a little eh so i dont consider that one a FAVORITE favorite. but its still insanely fucking good.

then i've read all of the witches novels except equal rites and that's only cause i was listening to the audiobook and then i forgot where i left off and i just didn't finish it. anyway the clear winner for me is and always will be carpe jugulum and it's DEFINITELY one of my top 3 discworld books. like i know you didn't ask for this to be a hundred pages long but fuck me that BOOK. i could write ESSAYS. also wyrd sisters is a fucking masterpiece and i wont hear a WORD against it. thank you.

all of the death books expect thief of time and i honestly i just dont want to end the series yet so i'm still putting it off. give me some time. favorites from that hmm well hogfather DUH but also reaper man. listen man it's about found family it's about bill door it's about death giving his TIME for a little girl it's about I NEVER WORE A CROWN YOU NEVER WANTED TO RULE it's THE FIRST FUCKING TIME WE MEET REG SHOE also the wizards are fucking GREAT in that one i just love it. not top 3 material but definitely a comfort read.

from the watch books i've read up to thud! which i'm still half way thru bc i'm not ready to move on from night watch like i had to listen to it on audiobook two days after i've first read it bc it just sucks you in man. does NOT let go. and yeah you're so so so right and true about night watch being one of my absolute favorites that book changed me as a person i'm still definitely not over it. like at all. also feet of clay and fifth elephant will always ALWAYS be my children and have my heart for obvious reasons (cheery. its cheery).

from the moist books i only have raising steam left and yes again im putting it off bc i dont wanna finish the series whatever dont look too deep into my issues

uh. shit this is so fucking long ok sorry. from tiffany novels i've read up to wintersmith and so far the wee free men is my absolute favorite i cried so much reading that book it's embarrassing.

small gods was my very first discworld novel and let me fucking tell you man absolutely HILARIOUS place to start when you dont know shit about the world building that's all im gonna say. also it's just so fucking good it's insane to me like yeah maybe it's not as funny as the others but the way terry wrote about faith and gods and devotion and the church and ugghh. (sidenote i read an brutha/om fic a few weeks ago that changed my fucking LIFE im being so so serious rn that was a masterpiece)

and i think the only one left is the truth which is in my opinion one of the best written discworld books from what i've read and definitely in my top 3. like otto chriek would be enough to convince me and THEN there's mr tulip's backstory and william confronting his dad (man that scene where william gives his father thousands of dollars to pay back for what he "cost" him over his life. anyone got reminded of that one ladybird scene? yeah.) and it's just like the best thing you've ever read.

im so sorry this got so long im insane i hope u got some kind of answer out of it

[chelemlem]

Would you ever write more trade offer rule 63 landoscar verse? I cannot get enough of their dynamic and I literally laughed out loud at the line "It’s a bit mad, really, how Lando went from shagging what most people in the comments section of Lay the Grid considered actual hot guys to shagging Oscar, who more often than not wore ribbed socks to bed." Like seriously how did just a guy Oscar bag hot girl Lando?? I'm dying I would love to know how they go to this point of their established relationship! Love your writing!

hello anon!!! first of all thank u so much <33 and yes actually i was (am?) working on a prequel of sorts for that fic lmao a little getting together/first time story spanning the last leg of 2023 ft Reverse Fake Relationship bc all the wag pages have a running conspiracy that they're alr sleeping 2gthr.... DRAMA

ngl it's taking so long only bc i get annoyed at having having to go back and fact check stuff about the season unlike a fictional future year where i can just do whatever i want etc. i doooo want to get back to it tho bc it's kinda unhingedly self-indulgent with like sloppy hetero sex and cliché shoujo tropes and also jenson button is there... someone yell at me to finish 😔

lol as for why lando likes him: no clue. her feelings on the matter are pretty much just "wow he's such a lewser...... but he can kind of get it" call that unspoken normie boyfriend rizz. here's a cutting room casualty of trade offer that kinda summarises the vibe:

It's sort of nostalgic. The first time had been a bit like this too, Oscar crashing at hers after a bender, both of them buzzing from the jaegerbombs, the surprise double-podium. Swaying outside in the sweltering July heat, he couldn't remember if he was at the Montague or the Meridien—so Lando had said fuck it. Her flat was close and she had more than enough spare rooms. Why not?

Nothing had happened that night.

Lando'd wandered downstairs at noon to him half-burrowed in the George blanket, eyes glued to the telly with a capri sun stuck in his mouth. His hair stood up in greasy tufts molded to the shape of her fists—mocking her, really.

"Morning," Oscar had grinned, sleep-puffy, self-assured. "Sorry for taking over your—uh, everything, I guess. S'just I've got a bitch of a hangover and the Ashes are on. You understand."

Bastard. She couldn't not fuck him.