#character study ☆ ━━ headcanon ¸

[apartfromgod]

shauna will never not be the butcher. she married young, she's a housewife, she's shauna sadeki now, but she's always going to be shauna shipman. she cooks every night, she portions the food up. prepares it. does she filet her steak the same? probably. the first time she added salt it made her sick, the first time she had meat in general it made her sick. she thought of jackie, she thought of shauna shipman. she wept for a life lost, and a person forever intertwined into her soul. she bought a professional butcher knife, but it wasn't the same. it's center of gravity was different, blade not as jagged from sharpening it with stones. she learnt how to use a wet stone, how to stop being so surgical with her cuts, but she'll always remember. it's like riding a really fucked up bike. maybe she doesn't even want to forget. it doesn't matter either way.

[atimesfeeler]

Do you guys think that after the Deadpool movies end, and the curtain closes, and the camera is no longer on him- do you think Wade talks as much?

Do you think that maybe it feels like walking off a full stage to find yourself in your dressing room alone, staring at the mirror?

We always see him talking but he knows about us watching. He is acutely aware he has an audience. Do you think he knows when the audience is gone and the big unseeing eyeball shifts away to find entertainment elsewhere?

I’m not saying he’s normal when our backs are turned, or he’s not himself, but maybe the performance… turns off. Maybe it sorta takes Logan by surprise when Wade is quiet for the first time since he met him by his own violation, thinking about being perceived always, or existing in countless different versions of shows, comics, universes.

What do you think he does when he knows he’s not being watched? Maybe he does nothing different, but I imagine it would be hard to ignore.

He hit the camera in the D&W and grabbed the mic. He always knows where the fourth wall is. When there is no fanfic or movie or comic or show, do you think he sees the fourth wall anyway? Or is it kinda like seeing something in your peripheral?

I’m probably gonna write a fic about this all one day.

[rosehipandroots]

me when the. me when warriors captain link hero of hyrule is nothing more than a political image. me when link is shoved aside for the hero captain. when his brothers leave the war & keep going but he's stuck bc he isn't allowed to stop being the hero. when "hero" is turned into a political title and warriors is dehumanized along with it. when the hero is nothing more than glorified puppet solider with a pretty face, when warriors is an actor every second of his life. me when the fandom doesn't like warriors bc they fell for his ruse

[chyarui]

My poor broken commander, good soldiers follow orders indeed and you were a damn good soldier (even though you’re an asshole, i still love you 💔)

Firmly on the side that believes Fox was under orders from Palpatine to kill Fives. There’s no way any of the vod’e would kill their brothers unless they literally had no choice. He does what he can to honour every brother whose blood is on his hands, directly or indirectly, on the tattoos on his back.

[cyantt-does-stuff]

Spydad makes me feral in a way I can not truly describe. Spy, an absent father, an asshole who deep down really wants to get to know the son he never stayed for. Scout's mother still loves him. Her other children don't care if he's around or not. But the opinion of the mercenary that is his own flesh and blood is what he cares most for.

The fact that the other mercs probably know. The fact Sniper and Heavy DO know. How Heavy brings up Scout's father. How Sniper urges Spy to do something during his son's 'final' moments.

The fact that Spy granted Scout a petty mercy by being someone who Scout sees a father in, and not himself. By telling him what he's yearned to through another's mouth. Does it kill him inside? I think it does.

And Scout, if he ever found out, would he kick and scream at the revelation? What if he knows already? What if the dreams are fueled by denial. What if Scout sees how similar him and Spy really are?

And when Spy tells him, how would Scout react? Surely, he'd be angry. He'd punch and Spy would take it.

But Scout is his mother's son.

Scout, after yelling and telling Spy just how much he hates him... Scout goes in for a hug that takes Spy by surprise.

Scout says he still hates him.

Scout says he doesn't forgive him.

But he could learn to, if Spy learns to be a father.

And Spy hugs back because, yes, he wants to learn. He's been wanting to learn for twenty or so years.

[edwinisms]

you know. I think the reasons it feels so literally narratively wrong when people refer to charles as being straight (such as in interviews where his love life comes up and so on) are that A) he’s never deemed outright straight in the show, so it’s just an assumption that he must be straight by default (which is silly in a show like this), and B) what he says following edwin’s confession. I know I’m biased, but even when I try to look at it as neutrally as possible, the way he reacts in general and the specific words he uses just don’t sound right when you imagine them being said by a Totally Definitely Straight guy.

first of all if you actually listen to it instead of absorbing the scene superficially it’s not particularly a rejection at all, and the actors have stated that themselves– it’s not him saying no, it’s him saying “I can’t give you an answer right now, but I will eventually”. that’s not an interpretation, that’s literally just the truth of what he said (and again, the actors agree). can you imagine a straight guy saying that, or possibly even more damning, “we have literally forever to figure out the rest [“the rest” meaning anything that goes beyond the kind of love charles already solidly has for him]”.

imagine you’re a straight man who’s unwaveringly confident in his orientation and your gay best friend confesses his feelings for you. you would not respond with the implication there is a “the rest” to figure out. since the main, obvious obstacle would be your solid lack of attraction to men, that’d probably be essential to your response– it wouldn’t be a “I can’t say–“ it’d be a “I can’t be–“. and on top of all that, I feel like the whole thing would have to sound far more apologetic– “I’m sorry, I love you and that’ll never change, but I just can’t love you the way that you love me.” something like that, right?

tldr: this is a rare instance in television where assuming a character is straight by default makes Less sense than the alternative. and charles’ choice of words in the confession overtly suggest that he is, at the very least, unsure of his orientation.

[sweetgladesofhemlock]

We don’t talk about “booksical” Fiyero enough, like so many aspects of his character from the book (being a POC from a marginalized tribe, experiencing discrimination) give his character and relationship with Elphaba much more depth. But I feel like (especially in fics) people always treat musical and book Fiyero as completely separate characters, but honestly, giving the popular, jockish prince a background of racial discrimination and cultural assimilation could be SO interesting.

(might write a fic tbh)

[homiesondaweb]

I headcanon that Aaron had absolutely ZERO interest in Miles when Jeff told him Rio was pregnant. He was actually pissed that his older brother was leaving the game and "getting right' for some chick and a baby. Thought Jeff was lame and didn't want part of his nephews life. You can't risk having someone close like that with the work they do. A wife, kids, hell them being siblings was too close to endangerment as it was.

But then Miles was here, and Aaron wasn't that much of an asshole to leave Jeff hanging or drowning. He was 1000% just gonna drop off some pampers, some blue onesies he snagged from GAP and some money then bounce about 3 weeks after Miles was born.

But then Jeff insisted his lil brother hold his son.

So, Aaron rolled his eyes and stiffly let Jeff adjust his hold on the baby boy, he was sleep anyway, was just gonna be a photo for Rio's cheap little flash camera.

But then Miles woke up with the cutest little-big yawn and stretch. His golden doe-like eyes wide and curious at this new face, he gives a hiccup as a greeting, smacking his baby gums and chubby lil lips.

"Uhp"

Aaron is just fucking gone, absolutely smitten, head over heels for this chubby chocolate baby with lil black curls, sunny eyes and a big ole head. It takes three hours and Rio telling him she's got to feed Miles for Aaron to finally relinquish that bébé.

He gets it. He gets wanting to get out the game. Wanting to wrap the world in cotton and bubble wrap and not even let the darkness of a nice night even glance at this Bundle of Good named Miles Alonzo Morales.

It only takes 3 month before Rio and Jeff get used to Aaron just strolling in, snagging lil homie and the diaper bag and telling them they will be back at 3pm sharp. The ridiculous amount of onesies, shits and beanies that match with something Aaron owns they receive. They get used to Aaron insist on carrying nephew like a football around the apartment before he's old enough to be tossed onto shoulder s. They get used to Miles mimicking Aaron as the man sofa-coaches though boxing matches and baseball games on the TV.

Aaron gets used to loving someone more than himself, more than the lure of blood diamonds and deity money.

Aaron isn't as good as he wants to be. And Jeff is getting too good, he applied for the graduated the police academy by the time Miles is 5. The Prowler has been active in New York for just as long.

Aaron loves Miles so much (no offense to Jeff) he's never loved someone and been loved so much that he doesn't deserve it. He can't have those golden Doe eyes look up at him or have those tiny brown hands be dirtied by his violent and grimy ones. Jeff Knows, Aaron Knows.

They don't ever get used to the riff. The distance that bother brother hate but that Jeff puts there anyway. Aaron was part of that world that Miles needed guarded from. They just hold their breaths as Miles acts like a flimsy little bridge because Aaron was too selfish to leave his life before they both got attached.

He regrets it until his last breath and last word when the last thing he sees is those Doe eyes crying for a bad guy like him.

Miles was the best of all of them, Aaron knew that from Miles beginning until his own end.

[chocobochaserstories]

Omega Heat Cycle Physiology

So, funny story, I'm a Pre-Veterinary Major in university, which means I know way, way too much about reproductive A & P and I thought about Omegaverse too hard and here we are. Totally didn't write this in livestock nutrition today, Not like we had a lecture, Dr. A was momming us because half of the class (me included) had our biology professor call us failures. I love Dr. A she's the best :) Anyhow, here's my take on Omega Heat Cycle Physiology. TW: I don't think there are any, maybe just warning for mildly in depth repro talk?

Omega Anatomy and Physiology

Presentation

Occurs around 12-14 years of age, typically genetically predictable, meaning that for the most part omegas of a family will present around the same age. For example, if multiple generations present at 12 years old, this trend will continue for several more generations. In addition, heat cycle lengths and frequencies are also genetically linked. A mother’s heat cycle, assuming she is omegan, can be used to predict a first heat length. Typical symptoms of presentation include heightened body temperature, cramping in the abdominopelvic and lumbar regions, soreness of the breast tissue, bloating, headaches, nausea, and typical symptoms of arousal. An omega who as not presented by fifteen years of age is considered to be late blooming. This is generally not harmful, but may shift the other stages of development by however many years beyond the normal period of development the presentation heat occurred. 

Pseudoheats

Typically occur between 14 and 18 years of age. During this period, an omega will experience heat cycles, however they are not mature heat cycles. During this period, omegas are capable of conception, however the reproductive organs are still in development, which can result in the pregnancy causing damages that can be permanent. Pregnancy during this period can lead to higher rates of miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, and stillbirth, as well as higher instances of gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, and excessive strain on other non-reproductive organs. Pregnancies carried to viability have higher risks of preterm labor, low birth weight, childbirth complications for both the mother and baby, increased infant mortality within the first week, and increased rates of birth defects. The damages risked during this period also have significant potential to irreparably damage an omega’s future fertility, as well as cause temporary or permanent sterility due to reproductive damages and traumas. 

At this stage, the pseudoheats share many of the same symptoms of presentation heats (heightened body temperature, cramping in the abdominopelvic and lumbar regions, soreness of the breast tissue, bloating, headaches, nausea, symptoms of arousal), but at this point in development, hormonal-related arousal is more common due to hormone values during this period. During pseudoheats, omegas generally mature further towards their secondary gender’s characteristics. Areas of development include widening of the hips, deposition of fatty tissue in the lower abdominal cavity, and overall development of a more feminine silhouette, all under ideal conditions. In cases of inadequate nutrition, the development isn’t as obvious, but the body will still attempt to redirect resources to the development of areas of importance. As opposed to the presentational heat, pseudoheats are characterized by a steady climb in an omega’s hormones. In particular, estrogen, which is essential to the proper development of the reproductive tract and accessory structures. Heat Cycles will still be fairly irregular.

Transitional Heats

Typically begin around 18 years of age and continue until about 20 years of age. At this point in development, the hormones from the pseudo heats peak and stabilize. By this point, physical development is wrapping up and heats that occur during this period of development are very similar to mature heat cycles. Fertility during this period improves steadily, but it is still in development. Heat cycles begin to occur more regularly and stabilize in terms of frequency, length, and intensity. Symptomatically, transitional heats are typically more intense than pseudoheats, but not as intense as mature heat cycles. At this point, the symptoms are the same as the prior two stages, although arousal is greater in intensity in strength. In addition, an unmated, unbred omega may experience cramping or an increase in body temperature (up to a temperature of 101.5°F). During heats, the cervix is also softer and more malleable, aiding in the breeding process. For mated omegas, the breeding instinct is stronger and tends to be one of the few things on an omega’s mind during the peak of the cycle (active heat= ~7 days, so day 3-4). An omega being intimate with an alpha during this stage can expedite this stage and cause mature heat cycles, which is not necessarily good as this can lead to reproductive issues due to hastened development.

Mature Cycles

Occurs from age 21-22 and until the menopausal stages around age 50. At this point, it becomes legal to take heat suppressants, scent blockers, and other hormone medications, which can otherwise mess with development. The only major difference between mature heat cycles and transitional heat cycles is the intensity of cycles increases and the cycle frequency, which stabilizes. 

[thestarstoasun]

Possibly a hot take, but I think the Tartarus trip actually helped Will a lot. Obviously I have my disappointments with the book, but we do not only see Nico healing from the copious amount of trauma Rick fit into him; we get to see Will come to terms with darker parts of himself.

It's canon/very heavily implied (I can't remember and don't feel like looking it up) he came to camp at a very young age, younger than campers that aren't deemed "powerful" or have a strong scent. Despite Will thinking he isn't strong, he is the best healer Camp Half Blood has seen in, what we can assume, at least a century. He's a year-rounder, so he hasn't experienced life on the outside in years. Hell, until Trials of Apollo, his godly parent hardly took notice of him.

His older brothers and other siblings were his biggest supporters and motivators. They looked out for him and took care of him in place of a parent, specifically the older kids (Lee and Michael.) And he lost them during the Dark Prophecy - less than 2 years apart from each other. He didn't even get to search for Michael because Percy took him for a joyride across Manhattan on a motorcycle to help Annabeth.

Even after all of that, its implied/seen that he's someone who is always looking on the bright side of things, never making anything about himself, always helping others, etc. He's a ray of sunshine in everyone's life, never allowing himself to show anyone that he's hurting or suffering because he feels like he just can't. After all, he's Will Solace. He is the head medic, the infirmary can't just stop running. He's the counselor for cabin, his siblings need him to be strong.

He represses his negative emotions, even admits to it in Trials of Apollo. I think he represses them to a point he can avoid/ignore them or pretend they aren't his. It's easier to be a ray of sunshine in people's lives if the negativity and darkness you feel are projected onto someone else.

These tendencies are also something that causes strain in Nico and Will's relationship, because Nico doesn't understand how Will can't see how hypocritical he is. When in reality, Will does know, but it's easier if he avoids it. Ignorance is bliss after all. This doesn't mean Will doesn't work on trying to let Nico in, because he does, sort of.

On bad days, the days when he wakes up and wants nothing more than to curl up in the arms of his older brothers, he would go to Nico's cabin. However, his only explanation would ever be, "im tired." It frustrated him just as much as it upset Nico. He wasn't even sure if his boyfriend could tell. (Nico could, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.)

In Persephone's garden, he was forced to face the fact that there is darkness/negativity/hurt inside of him. He can't deny it when it's right in front of him, so he finally has to stop repressing everything, stop running away, and face his pains.

[fazedlight]

Supergirl the show poses a question: Who is the real Kara?

Kara Zor-El, Kara Danvers, Supergirl. Who's the mask?

In the beginning, Kara doesn't even know. In the aftermath of Krypton's and Kenny's deaths, she did everything she could to appear as normal as possible - there was little room for her own innate traits to shine through when she was being as nondescript and people-pleasing as possible.

But that's not who Kara is.

We get the first glimpse of who Kara really is during Flight 237.

This is not about her being Supergirl or her powers (though both are relevant). Kara has suppressed herself for over a decade. She's not going to make waves - until she has to. Our first real insight into who Kara is now is as a devoted sister. It wasn't until Alex's life was at risk that Kara started breaking out of her shell (and then there was no holding back).

Our protagonist is a mid-20s adult - this isn't a coming-of-age story in the traditional sense. But it is a story of finding oneself and what it takes to get there.

And it starts with defending found family after a lifetime of loss.

So Kara creates the Supergirl persona. I think the cape is a crutch.

People say "a crutch" like it's a bad thing. But crutches are actually pretty fucking useful. They support you when you need it, whether it be short-term or long-term. They help you get around when you otherwise may not be able to.

Kara was deeply traumatized by losing everyone and everything she ever knew, being thrown into a world that overwhelmed her senses and made even her most casual movements into dangerous ones, and was told she needed to suppress everything - who she used to be, what she was going through now - to survive.

To find herself again, maybe she'd need a tool to get past what she had been through! The cape became that tool. She was able to unbury the heritage she had been hiding, she was able to embrace the powers that had burdened her, she was able to find her own bravery (and reactivity, she's got flaws in there too).

Keep in mind, in the scene above, Kara isn't "human for a day". Kara is powerless... just like she spent the first 13 years of her life. Her bravery isn't about her powers or Supergirl; they just help her get started.

That's not where her growth ends.

Kara's instincts for helping people start getting unburied in season 1, and she is excited to tag along someone else's quest to figure out where future threats may lie, or figure out how she can use her powers in service to the DEO.

But it's not until this moment that she realizes that Kara Danvers can be more, too. Lena unintentionally launches Kara's career - a second pathway for Kara's desire to help people, growing into a passion she is going to pursue (even if she gets fired). Her worth is no longer just about her sun-granted powers or being Superman's "younger" cousin.

In season 4, we even see her realization that Kara Danvers can be more powerful than Supergirl, because some fights can't be won by fists. That's a real discovery for herself.

Which I think, looking back, might becoming especially baffling for her... because Kara Danvers was originally an identity imposed on her when she needed to hide.

It's important to note that, while Kara Danvers was originally a facade that Kara gets at thirteen, she doesn't stay a facade - even in the suppression era.

We don't see enough of who Kara is when she's on Earth, left to her own devices. But we see glimpses - we know she likes baking (and we know we shouldn't try what she makes), we know she paints, we know she listens to NSync and Britney Spears. She's a goofball (even when she puts on the cape). Kara Danvers starts as a facade, but becomes a vehicle for Kara to continue developing her personality, now in her new context.

Would she have the same interests on Krypton? Maybe some and not others, maybe some new ones that don't exist on Earth. We're all products of our environments, after all. Her interests as Kara Danvers aren't necessarily fake just because they're different than what she expected.

Though she'll never know who she would've become on Krypton.

Which brings us to Kara Zor-El - the identity that is frozen.

Most people aren't the same person as an adult that they were as a child. Interests, tastes, personality, world outlook, philosophy - all of these shift over time, sometimes dramatically.

Parts of her are going to be deeply rooted in Krypton, and she's going to have ties to a culture that no one else on Earth has. It's not an aspect of herself that she can erase. But it's also not an aspect of herself that was able to develop for the remainder of her childhood and early adulthood.

She, like all of us, was destined to lose pieces of herself. But some of her loss was very sudden, and the pieces she lost probably weren't going to be the same on Krypton. Of course, she has no way to know.

And I think that frustrates her.

I guess my answer to "Who is Kara?" is that the three personalities clash with and harmonize with each other. None of them are truly her. All of them inform who she is.

There's a young Kara Zor-El as her root that was torn from the ground before she could ever grow.

There's a Kara Danvers who formed the bulk of her life - a mask that was given to her, the only vehicle for her personality, who ultimately became someone she could embrace as worthwhile in her own right.

There's a Supergirl who distinctly separates from those around her, but lets her move past her numbness and reclaim her heritage.

And it's that clash that makes her a particularly compelling character.

Maybe that's a cheating answer to the original question.

But there's still a missing piece to the puzzle - because it's not just about Who is Kara? but also about Who does Kara want to be?

I think Supergirl is something that could fade if needed. If Kara lost her powers, she would find a new normal, so long as she was able to pursue her desire to help the world in some capacity.

But the truth of her is somewhere between Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El. The truth of her is in what Supergirl allowed her to unbury, even if not directly tied to Supergirl herself. But Danvers and Zor-El are burdens, in a way. Lena is one of the few people who sees the person in between, who understands Kara on her own terms. Which is why Kara is terrified of Lena's rejection.

I think it's one of the most telling lines in the show - to be just Kara is to be free of her own baggage, to be able to embrace herself despite the pain in her history. Something I think we all want, that is never entirely possible.

But the pursuit is still a worthwhile one.

[atimesfeeler]

A lot of people, I think, were surprised at how angry and mean Logan was in Deadpool and Wolverine. I think we see him being like this in Logan 2017 but in the rest of his movies he’s much more tame.

Of course. He’s finding family, he’s finding love, a place that accepts him for who he is. He has a purpose, a people. Of course he’s rough around the edges, but he’s softening and learning to open up and let himself care for other people. He still has his rage, his stubbornness, his don’t care attitude, but the force of the X-Men and Charles wearing down his defenses sorta mellows him out. And then when he leaves the X-Men Mariko and Yukio bring out his heroism and loyalty again.

In Logan, he’s the angriest and meanest because his lost literally everyone. (I’m not 100% sure but I think it was set after DOFP so it was right after he got everyone back that he lost them again. He’s lived through losing them all TWICE, once to the apocalypse and then second to one of his best friends because of a seizure) and in the brief time that Laura interacts with him, she is able to bring out some of his better qualities, but… like she says, Logan is dying and he wants to die. He’s mean and he’s trying his best, but he’s relieved when he doesn’t have to try anymore.

In the Deadpool and Wolverine, Worst Wolverine is most like Logan 2017, not the past version people got used to. And he doesn’t have Charles or Laura. He’s all alone for so long. This Wolverine lost everyone and he blames himself. He doesn’t know Wade and he doesn’t give a fuck about him. He lost his humanity back at the mansion when everyone he let himself care about was slaughtered. Not only does he not care, he’s probably so guarded that he won’t let himself care about anyone after what happened to the x-men. Not to mention that everyone hates him, no one gives him a chance, he’s hated by both his own kind and humans. He wouldn’t be able to find work completely vilified. He wouldn’t be able to stay sober and he probably spent what money he did have on drinking because the weight of everything was too much. He probably has to move constantly to find bars that will serve him or to avoid people trying to capture him.

So he’s kidnapped, told he’s the worst version of himself in the entire multiverse, and he’s sober for the first time in a decade. Withdraw and Wade Wilson does actually sound like a nightmare, and in the void of all places.

At first I was surprised at the amount of aggression and violence he displayed, but then I got it at this scene:

And then I was surprised at how mellowed out Logan was at the end of it

But then it made sense. Wade and his little adventure basically fast tracked rehab, therapy, and recovery and then gave him a new chance, a home, and a friend who is so loyal that he’d tear apart the universes for his people.

This is why Logan being less angry and violent after the void is so important to me. Like, he’s still grumpy and mean and traumatized, and obviously Wade didn’t fix everything, but he helped so much. Logan definitely cares about Wade and wouldn’t just see him as the most annoying person he’s ever met anymore. Not after what he did for him.

It’s a delicate balance between not erasing Logan’s inherent and learned rage and anger, but also not whittling him down to only angry violent and mean around Wade.

[keebiecoo]

I really do think the reason we never see the others communicate with Curly post-crash is because of us seeing through the eyes of Jimmy, who is such an ass he couldn't even be bothered to listen when Anya told him how their improvized AAC works.

Anyway, AAC user here, coming at you with the Curly headcanons.

I think in their situation, they wouldn't have buttons or tablets or anything to give him, so it would be fully gestural AAC. Since he can't really move his jaw & neck, & he's usually lying more on his left side, I think he would "nod or shake" his right arm for yes & no, & he'd point using his eye or whichever limb is easiest at that moment.

I also think most of the crew would know some basic morse code already from working out in the middle of nowhere on a cargo ship (at least that's my experience) & he would use that sometimes by making verbal noises or by tapping one of his limbs, but they'd probably mainly use the "yes/no" style to make it easier for Curly because the morse code method would probably be pretty uncomfortable & frustrating for him, & I think the others would understand that & try not to push him.

I think they'd eventually figure out some "house sign" gestures that would mean specific things that Curly thinks about a lot. Probably because it's Curly, one would be "sorry", another would be "is everyone safe?" & when he's in more pain than usual, he can't really think straight, so he just makes upset noises, & all of them know that means he needs his medicine & some rest.

[cheebuss]

when are yougonna post nick's bobbies

dan nicky yuor bobbie s [held at gunpoint writing this]

[anonymousaccountuser]

Okay. I watched Lupin Zero a while back and I’m losing my goddamn MIND over the metaphor of Lupin, a thief, stealing Jigen’s heart. It has been MONTHS and it plagues my mind still. I’m practically tearing my hair out.

Like… Imagine you are a boy. A lonely boy, a boy who’s been hurt his entire life, a boy who was given a gun at the age of five and taught to kill mercilessly without hesitation. You’re constantly told you’re not good enough, that nobody will ever want you for you, that you’ll only ever be a weapon; you’re worth nothing more than that, nothing less. The more skill you have, the more value you hold; if you do a job well you’ll be worth something, if you fail you’ll probably get beat or tossed out, considered less than dirt by your own shitty father. You’re not a boy, not really. You’re a gun, and the minute you miss a shot you’re worthless. You learn that no, you can’t be a kid—being a kid is not for you. You don’t have time for stupid birthday parties or immature little kid games when you’re too busy fighting in war zones or getting shot at in Cambodia. You teach yourself not to feel; remorse and regret are pointless when you’re a hitman, and so is love—you never have childhood crushes or fancy any of the pretty girls at your school. You think it’s stupid. You’ve never been interested in girls anyway, and your father once threatened to shoot you if you ever tried the alternative, so you lock your heart away, stuff it into a box and cram it into a safe and set fifty different code-combination locks and wrap chains around it so that you can’t feel.

And then one day, some skinny rich kid with sticky fingers shows up, and just won’t leave you alone. Okay, you think to yourself. No biggie. He’s just some spoiled brat with too much time on his hands who doesn’t know what he’s getting into. But then this kid starts treating you like you’re worth something, like you’re some sort of treasure he values, something he wants to chase; and not for your quick draw, either. This monkey-faced little brat seems to only want to know more about you, and play stupid kid games with you. He’s annoying, but the trouble he gets into is fun enough, even if you always end up having to bail him out. You find out that this kid is a thrill-seeker, and much to your surprise, he considers you thrilling. You’ve never had friends before, but this feels like something else. The way he looks at you makes your stomach fuzzy with a feeling you’re not entirely sure what to think of, and no matter how many times you walk away you always find yourself drawn to him. You’re reminded of what your father threatened to do at that, so you tuck that feeling away with all the others.

But then, this bastard “friend” of yours does something you never expected; he chips away at the walls you’ve built, carefully picks the locks holding chains around your heart with nimble, practiced fingers. He pries at that safe of yours like it’s fun, like it’s some sort of challenge for him (he likes challenges, you’ve come to find) and finds out those combinations of yours with thieving expertise. And then, as if none of your past matters, as if all those thousands of walls of defence you built and security lasers you set and safety precautions you took are absolutely nothing to him, he reaches forward and places a skinny hand over your chest and takes what he wants, like he’s always done. He holds you in the palm of his hand like you’re something precious, a valued piece of artwork in a renowned museum that he’s taken the liberty of nabbing, and you let him. You let him steal you like some pretty piece of jewelry. You let him pull you from the shitty life you live with that shitty dad of yours and steal you away, even though you’re scared out of your mind of intimacy. You’re alone in the dark of that cramped little safe that you’ve locked yourself away in your entire life, and he picks the lock with a bobby pin and reaches for you and grabs your hand; and then suddenly, you’re not so alone anymore. Suddenly you’re more than a gun, you’re Jigen Daisuke, and Lupin the Third wants you like he would a priceless ruby on display in the hall of a rich man’s mansion.

DO YOU SEE MY VISION, PEOPLE??!? DO YOU SEE IT!!?!1!?

[authormars]

Lucifer being called Diavolo's lapdog in canon is so hilarious to me, because according to me, it's the complete opposite. Sure, Lucifer agrees with everything Diavolo does in public, but in private? Diavolo absolutely worships him.

Diavolo would go to war with the three realms if it meant Lucifer would be happy. He would happily burn the world for him. He would stand by and watch people suffer for his angel.

Diavolo may be nice, but at the end of the day, he's a demon that regularly indulges in sin. He would sooner watch the world crumble than betray his queen.