#chapter 24 hurts me everyday.

[yanderefairyangel]

While Engage and 3H were developped in the same period, the interview explained they were splitting the work which is why half of the IS team worked on 3H with KT and compared to (Disc)Hou(r)ses who had a team of 3 writers from KT, since in Engage they had more focus on making the gameplay the greatest thing ever, the left the story to only one writer, Nami Komuro who provided main writing for Awakening and Fates (even if she didn't planned the scenario) whereas for Engage she is credited as the scenario director and alone for the writing which means she wrote it alone or with very little help and... it's funny, how a story that is far from being perfect and had only one writer because it wasn't their main focus is more structured as a story with more foreshadowing and planning then the "morally grey masterpiece with 3 writers".

I have my own gripes with Engage's story especially in the last chapters, Engage's big character resolution is

Yeah even chapter 22 with the apotheosis thing of Alear being the Fire Emblem is still something I have problem disgesting but it does have something to do with their whole character resolution of becoming a hero, a symbol of hope and inspiration tying to their JPN name Lueur because "lueur d'espoir "and "la lumière c'est l'espoir" etc but I don't think I will ever really accept that monstruosity called chapter 24 which sucks because of AkaLulu being in it.

But it's still impressive of something deemed as "morally black and white" is actually capable of saying "No, not every person who believes and worship Sombron is bad or a child murderer there are good people or normal one among there too" or "No fell dragon aren't inheritenly evil, they are called like that because humans hates them and in reality they can be very sweet like how Lulu and Vey were always very sweet person but forced to act like this by evil yandere Papabron who himself used to be a kind and scared person but became this way because he never gave up on finding his only friend who is also the only remaining connection he had with his family and former world". It shows people who believe in the Divine dragon aren't necessarily good : Veyle's mother died tortured by the believer of the Divine dragon and Veyle herself was subjected to such and would have died if the follower of the Fell dragon didn't saved her. Fell dragon are victim of discrimination because of people hating them and thinking they are evil because of Sombron's action. Brodia, a country that believes in the Divine dragon albeit much less devoted then Firene is portrayed as the bad one in the Elusia/Brodia war, even though Elusia worship Sombron and even Elusia is shown to not be entirely clean either (see Linde and Saphir's support). Even villain like Zephia have backstory to explain her behaviour and while her whole deal is "I wanna be a mom because I am lonely uwu" it at least does a better job at showing that people who follow Sombron aren't "BaD" but they are simply making bad decisions and are rewarded with losing everything and realizing their mistakes unless they decided to amend for it. Even Divine dragon aren't portrayed as all good since they are pretty much flawed individuals that despite being revered as such are shown to not being god with the power of solving everything by a single move of the finger : Lumera had struggles and was sometimes incapable of helping her believer, that's why Mauvier's mother stopped believing in her and worshipped Sombron instead. We also have the whole bit about Sombron and Lumera both being genocide survivor and how they deal with it : Sombron, by causing pain, Lumera by trying to fight, be brave and that's what makes her link with Alear and yadi yada.

Somehow the game with good dragon vs bad dragon has more nuance... almost as if you had to define first and firemost the goodies and the baddies before adding on to the nuance that they are neither entirely evil nor good...HMMM

nowhere in the Fodlan games is it ever mentionned, by one character who has a crust, that crust is only a power and not inherently bad or good, it's what you decided to do, you as someone who has the opportunity to use this power, who ultimately choose to do the right thing, or the wrong thing.

I am not really sure about that. I do recall Dima mentioning it, but can't recall whether or not it was in Houses or Hopes at any rate you are right, IS dislike "black and white morality" since they always find a way to try to insert the idea that not everything is black nor white. Even Fates for all it's flaws, at least tried to do that with Garon and Nohr even if it got lost in translation or with the whle "Anankos isn't evil he just became mad because humans hate him" which would be more "morally grey" then anything Houses attempted to do with the biasied narrative that resulted into moral relativism.

I think, even if FE16 still sells a lot of alts in FEH and DLC and what not, the lack of side materials and goodies is, imo, telling enough about what IS wants to do with it - FE17 got a manga release on the shonen jump + (i think?) even when the sales are inferior to FE16's (granted, if we compare something that was around for 4 years including 2020 to a game released in January, that's not very fair) - Nopes's DLC was called off and bar FEH milking the Fodlan verse to sell units, imo, IS wants to drop it and move forward.

In all fairness, Engage is MUCH easier to adapt as manga then anything from Houses. Many jpn fans claim that the story is so short and simplier it feels like watching an anime to play it with some bringing up how much they would want it to become an actual anime, but the manga itself exist also to promote the game and polish some details of the game's story even if strays a looot from the canon game (like Alcryst calling Alear a pervert) since the short story format didn"t allowed some points to be developped and that Nintendo said "NOPE" to Komuro wanting to make Alear even more of a scared cat as they are supposed to be, which Kazuro Kyo as no problem giving us the most wet nya nya version of Alear with him being just a silly little guy accident prone. With Houses I don't think they could try to adapt any storyline without having to add some "morally grey uwu" stuff like they did and even most fans of 3 H in japan claims the story is a hot mess.

But seeing how IS is I am glad we are likely to never go the Fodlan direction again since KT made it clear with Hopes they simply CAN'T improve Houses. Stories like Engage can be improved because it's closer to what IS have been doing for now over 30 years. And even then the story needs little polishing seeing how the manga managed to fix very efficientely some of the weak elements of the narrative and it doesn't change much, barely some elements. And hopefully it gets rid of the time travel chapter. I feel so conflicted about this damn chapter !

I'm beginning to think there might have been discourse/debate between KT and IS regarding the Fodlan games. We'll never know of course but it would be amusing if that's the case considering how it translated to their audience.

lol

Some people already thought about it, and while Nopes was a heavily marketed/produced product by KT, at the end of the day, even for FE16, IS had to pop in and give a sign of approval.

I think the interview for Engage more or less revealed that while the two games weren't developed together, they were thought of as being wildly different experiences - both in gameplay and story, and while I have my own gripes with Engage's story especially in the last chapters, Engage's big character resolution is

Alear coming to terms with what they were born as, but deciding, nonetheless, to use their power to be and act as the divine dragon Lumera was, aka use their power to do something "good" even if they were born as Sombron's kid thus supposed to do "bad" things.

Compare this with "crust BaD" - nowhere in the Fodlan games is it ever mentionned, by one character who has a crust, that crust is only a power and not inherently bad or good, it's what you decided to do, you as someone who has the opportunity to use this power, who ultimately choose to do the right thing, or the wrong thing.

Hell, it's only when Fodlan met another game (fully developed by IS, for better and worse) that his question is raised, and quickly eluded by Supreme Leader warping away from Lissa, because hey, in an IS game, that question would have been raised, and defaulting to "crusts BaD" has never been the house's recipe to make a game - especially since this specific recipe has been overused, first in FE Jugdral (Loptyr blood isn't inherently evil, that was the teaching Blaggi tried to promote that was later ignored and then forgotten), then, sort of in FE6 (no Fa, divine dragons aren't doomed to become souless war dragon producing machins or humanity's enemies!), in FE13 with Robin and their fell blood, and finally, in FE17.

I think, even if FE16 still sells a lot of alts in FEH and DLC and what not, the lack of side materials and goodies is, imo, telling enough about what IS wants to do with it - FE17 got a manga release on the shonen jump + (i think?) even when the sales are inferior to FE16's (granted, if we compare something that was around for 4 years including 2020 to a game released in January, that's not very fair) - Nopes's DLC was called off and bar FEH milking the Fodlan verse to sell units, imo, IS wants to drop it and move forward.

And while it makes me sad because there are things I'm legit interested in (war of heroes guide like the tellius recollection guide plz), given what "Fodlan" ended up when KT was left (mostly?) alone in the form of Nopes (you effing beat up refugees to steal their gold! Like, we're the red units beating the green npcs, or the bandits burning houses??) - I am less and less sure I want to see more Fodlan content, even if I was pleasantly surprised with the Fodlan content - especially regarding Nabateans who are completely ignored by their source game - IS made up for FEH.

Sure we have some issues that are inherent to FEH's nature as a gacha selling game cajoling units who can sell a lot (Hilda's family never had slaves unfed servants! Syrup just had some adventures in Goneril!) but to the FEH team - from IS - Sothis is more pissed at Agarthans for having genocided her children and turned them into pincushions than for Billy's dad's death.

Hell, for what it's worth, Emblem!Dimitri mentions how much he likes the idea of a world/place without discriminations based on origins or races, something he cannot say in the KT Fodlan games, because it stars Ms "You are a Nabatean, you should not rule over Humans!" as the main character of the game - so it's not a lot, but imo, FEH + FE17 gives us clues as to what IS would have done with the Fodlan cast -

Even if I'm not kidding myself, Hresvelg Tea was always supposed to be the main selling point of that verse, so while I don't think we would have had less uwus, maybe we might have had some sort of "sekrit brainwash" to make Ashnard in an onesie still be marketable for FEH.

[eds6ngel]

✎ when i kissed the teacher | part four

summary: after steve kisses you at the easter brunch, some serious confidentiality breaches come to light. with this, how will steve explain to alena the reasons for your provoked behaviour towards him?

part one ♡ part two ♡ part three ˚⋆｡˚ full masterlist.

warnings: dad!steve. singledad!steve. 90s!au. fem!reader. use of y/n. swearing. mutual pining. slow burn. a whole lot of angst. hurt. a tiny bit of fluff if you squint. mentions of heartbreak. deep life talks to children. love realisations. mentions of food. mentions of alcohol. slight age gap [r is 24, steve is 29]. alena attempting to be a matchmaker. more warnings in future chapters! [3.4k].

After the diabolical mess of your recess break, you wiped away the tears that threatened to spill and braved the rest of the day.

With a death glare to Steve as you sent Alena off for the afternoon, you drove home with the music blasting, attempting to drown out your overflowing thoughts.

Entering your apartment, you throw your keys on the countertop, Amy turning around from where she was cooking a pasta dish for the two of you, “Hey, what the hell happened?”

“He fucking kissed me, Ames. Like slotted his lips against mine kind of kiss,” you reply with a huff, putting your head between your arms.

“Yeah,” she turns around, heading over to the sink with her saucepan and emptying the pasta into the colander, “That’s kind of how kisses work, hun.”

“No,” you grumble, lifting your head up once again, “He could’ve just pecked me. Would’ve made the situation a whole lot easier.”

Amy tips the now drained pasta into the pan of sauce, mixing the two ingredients together, humming away to your sentence, “I think you’re so hung up over this because you actually enjoyed the kiss. Am I correct?”

You walk over to her by the stove, watching the pasta and sauce combination bubble away, you leaning over and sprinkling in some basil. “I mean, it was nice…”

“Mhmm, that’s code word for ‘That was the best kiss of my entire life.’”

You huff in aggravation, “What do I do now, Ames? I told him to get the fuck out and I glared him down when he collected his daughter.”

She grabs two bowls from the cabinet, you moving out the way as she collects them from above your head. You, by routine, head over to the drawer to grab two forks, Amy replying, “Well, from what you told me at Christmas, you told him that you couldn’t date him, right?”

You nod, Amy using her wooden spoon to evenly distribute the food, “Then that’s his problem! He broke the boundaries you set in place! You can’t blame yourself for that, hun.”

She throws the dirty dishes into the sink, you putting the forks neatly in the bowls and taking them over to the table, “Yeah, but I didn’t back away. I enjoyed it, Ames. I am at a partial fault in this.”

She brings over two glasses, setting them in front of your bowls of pasta, “Nuh uh, I’m not having that. You can’t help the feelings you feel. He initiated the kiss, fully knowing that not only you feel the same back, but that you can’t date him. He’s ruining your life Y/N. He’s ignoring your reasons in favour of his own feelings!”

She takes a seat opposite, a bottle now sitting in front of you, the red liquid on full display, “But, I like him Ames! I really do like him, but this fucking job I have won’t allow me to. I’ve searched and searched and I keep getting the same answers of having to wait until his daughter is fully out of my everyday life. That’s four years away! I’ll be 28 by that time!”

Amy sighs, giving you a sympathetic look as she reaches for the bottle, screwing open the lid, “Hun, you’re incredibly stressed. It’s Spring Break now, you get a wonderful two weeks away from not seeing his face. And then once you get back, it’ll be a mere two months until Summer Break. Then, you’ll most likely never see his face again.” She begins to pour the red wine into your glasses, “For now, I want you to relax, enjoy this pasta I made and drink as much wine as you want. And considering your life at the moment, this bottle is going to be empty in less than an hour.”

You laugh softly at her comment, grabbing your wine glass and taking a sip, letting the liquid gently slip down your throat, “Yeah, I suppose I deserve a break. It’s called Spring Break for a reason.”

She takes a gulp before replying, “Exactly. Now, onto my life. You’ll never guess what happened with Nick today…”

And that is how you spent the rest of your evening: two very drunk women in their twenties, gossiping about life’s dramas whilst pampering themselves with every skincare product known to man.

It was lovely to have a female roommate who understood you. That was the beauty of womanhood. You would always connect on such a deeper level than you would with any man. And that was incredible.

You spent Spring Break attempting to process and live through your emotions. It spent many days tirelessly journaling your every thought to evenings crying into Amy’s shoulder about how shit men were.

But, it helped. Which meant when you arrived back in your homely classroom in the middle of April, you were ready to face whatever challenges this semester threw at you.

You knew you would see his face every morning and afternoon, but you weren’t gonna let that effect you as a human being. You knew your boundaries, your worth, you communicated that with him, and if he continues not to listen, then you don’t deserve him in your life. Simple as that.

As always, you were laying out your morning worksheets, ready for the children to complete when they arrived. However, a knock can be heard at your door, you turning your head to see the principal standing there in his presentable suit. “Good morning Y/N.”

You smile at him, although questioning why he came to your classroom. You were aware of the upcoming semester’s calendar events, so there was no particular reason he would be doing random classroom checks, right? “Good morning Daryl. How are you this morning?”

“I’m doing very well, thank you. I was wondering if I could just borrow you for a few minutes down in my office? Won’t be a long chat, just something we need to ask you about. Is that all right?”

You put the remaining worksheets on your desk, looking up at the clock to see that it would be at least thirty minutes before the first student arrived. “Of course!”

“Great, just follow me,” he replies, signalling you with his arm as you head down the hallway.

Once you reach his office, one of the front office staff is also present, waiting patiently for you to arrive. You take a seat, Daryl (otherwise known as Mr. Warlock) sitting opposite you at his desk.

“Now, during the Spring Break, Brenda here had to check our security cameras in regards to a stolen laptop from the fifth grade classroom. Don’t worry, that has nothing to do with you, but for safety reasons, we checked the security cameras of the other classrooms around that time just in case anything else went missing.”

You look at him with a confused expression as he turns the monitor around. You take in the image in front of you as you try to remain innocent. A blurry photo of none other than you and Steve kissing is shown right in front of you.

“Now, that is you, correct?”

You look at him in the eyes, keeping your face neutral as you nod, “That is me, yes.”

“Good, don’t want to accuse you of anything that isn’t true. Now, we have a strict no romance policy at this school, you are aware of that, correct?”

“I am sir, yes.”

He nods as he continues, “Now, since we didn’t get the previous context at first, Brenda asked Linda at the front desk if she had let anyone in, maybe a romantic partner of yours that had brought in something that you had forgotten. But, with her denial, we had to follow this man’s initial entry.”

As he flips through multiple images, there are red circles drawn around Steve’s figure. One of him talking to you prior to the kiss, one of him sitting on the rug, and the final one: him walking into the classroom hand in hand with his daughter.

There was no way out of this one. You were fucked.

“Am I correct in assuming this is the same man?”

You look down to the floor in embarrassment, your eyes no longer allowing you to stare into his, “That is the same man, yes,” you weakly reply.

Daryl leans back in his chair, pinching his eyebrows as he sighs, “I am extremely disappointed Y/N. You have been one of our top teachers here at Hawkins Elementary. I hadn’t seen better grades before you arrived. And now, you have thrown away your whole career for this. I assume you understand where I am going with this?”

You try not to let the tears spill, “I do, yes.”

He leans forward, looking into your eyes, although, you don’t look back, “This is a complete breach of student confidentiality, our whole team unanimously agreed on this in our meeting. Now, you are in luck considering this is our final semester of the year. I’m giving you this final semester to teach here at Hawkins Elementary and then I want you gone. Do you understand?”

You nod sadly, “I understand sir, yes. I am so sorry.”

He huffs in disappointment, “You should be very strongly feeling that. I am saddened to have to let you go if I’m being totally honest with you. And I’m also ashamed as this will be going on your permanent record, which will make it extremely difficult for you to get hired in another teaching position for a long time. It’s disappointing really considering how great you are at teaching kids. But, those are the rules set in by the state of Indiana, and I can’t be breaching them.”

You nod, “I understand. I know it means nothing now, but again, I really am sorry. I’ll leave here when I finish up the semester.”

“Thank you,” he replies, standing up and leading you back towards the door, “I’m saddened it’s ended like this. I hope you reflect on your behaviour and realise the damage that this has done. I wish you luck on your future endeavours.”

You purse your lips, “Thank you, Daryl. It’s been a pleasure working here. I mean… you know… teaching the kids, nothing else…”

“Don’t tie yourself in more knots Miss. L/N. I suggest you head back to your classroom now, your students should be arriving soon.”

The use of your last name felt like spiders crawling up your neck. You knew that your boss only called people by their surnames when he was being completely serious. Which understandably in this situation, he was.

“Of course,” you reply quickly, “I’ll head off. Bye now.”

Once you realise you are out of his eye-line, you let out a small growl of anger, Steve seeing you and saying, “Good morning Y/N— Hey, what’s wrong?”

Without a doubt in your mind, you simply sneer at him, “Go to hell, Steve,” walking straight into your classroom and slamming the door, completely forgetting that Alena was right beside him.

But, why does it matter anymore? You’re already fired. What’s one inappropriate phrase going to do to your ruined permanent record?

Steve is driving Alena back home after her day at school. However, this time is unusual. Alena is usually a babbling mess about her adventurous day, but today the pair sit in silence, Alena twiddling with her thumbs as the sound of the radio plays silently in the background.

“Daddy,” she mumbles, Steve quickly looking over and replying, “Yes, pumpkin?”

“Why was Miss. L/N mean to you this morning?”

He sighs, the inevitability of his daughter recognising the tension between you two finally coming to light. “You know sometimes people can hurt others? Like… that time when Timmy rubbed his mud-covered hands on your favourite dress?”

She nods at him, Steve asking her, “And how did you react to that?”

“Umm,” she thinks for a second, “I yelled at him. Wait— Did you ruin Miss. L/N’s dress?”

Steve chuckles to himself, his daughter always knowing how to slightly lighten the mood, “No sweet-pea, but do you remember why Timmy said he did that?”

“He said he did it because he loves me— Oh my God,” she exclaims in the most dramatic voice, “Are you in love with Miss. L/N?”

The excitement on his daughter’s face makes the situation all the more saddening. He understands your reasoning, but if you wanted to, he wanted to, and his own child was more than happy to let it happen, why on Earth could the government prevent you from living out that life of love?

He nods, trying not to let a few tears fall, “I am pumpkin, yes. Daddy is in love.”

She bounces on her seat, kicking her feet and giggling with a cheesy smile, “I love Miss. L/N and now you do too! Does that mean I will get to see her all the time?”

The knife kept sinking deeper and deeper into his heart, “That’s the problem sweetheart, I can’t be in love with her.”

She huffs in annoyance, flailing her arms up in the air, “Why not?”

“Because she’s your teacher. Daddies can’t date their daughter’s teachers. That’s the rules.”

Her face turns to one of forced anger as she sinks in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest, “Stupid rules.”

Steve moves his hand from the steering wheel to rub his daughter’s shoulder in support, sighing out, “I know sweetie, I agree with you.”

She sits up again, begging to her dad, “Can’t you just break the rules? Just this one time?” She holds up one finger as she drags out, “Pleaseeee?”

His daughter’s persistency was making it harder to keep his emotions stabilised, him replying, “I’m sorry sweetheart, but Miss. L/N said no. And we know what we do when people say no.”

Alena sinks in her seat once more, her once angry expression now turning into a frown. However, her mind was also racing, thinking of many different ways to convince you to date her dad. And she was willing to try them all out.

By the start of May, you couldn’t hold in your secret any longer. Kids were little balls of emotion after all, you had to give them time to process your departure.

The kids were all sat silently on the mat in front of you. It was the Friday three weeks before the end of the school year, you praying that the time you gave the kids was enough for them to take it all in.

“Okay everyone! I have some very important news!” you shout calmly, the kids eyes shining up at you at your announcement.

“Now, as we all know, you will be moving up to second grade after the summer and I’ll no longer be your teacher,” you say, a few faces frowning at the reminder, “But, I will also be leaving this school completely. I won’t be teaching here anymore.”

“So, we won’t ever see you again?” Harry asks, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

His reaction made your emotions start to pour out too, you holding back the tears. “Um,” you cough, “That sadly will be the case. But, that’s life, you know? Not everyone is meant to stay forever.”

“But, I want you to stay forever!” Ashley wails, a few kids following suit as they begin to feel comfortable in the depressing atmosphere.

“Hey, hey, guys,” you softly say, directing the attention of the kids once more, “It’s okay, I promise. You still have three more weeks with me yet! The most important thing is we’re gonna make lots of new memories and have tons of fun before I go. That’s great, right?”

The kids nod unanimously, many wiping their tears away, as you begin to direct them out to their parents for the end of the day. Many parents had shocked looks on their faces from their children’s puffy, red eyes, but it seems like the kids took on the task of explaining the situation for you.

That was the positive thing about teaching seven-year-olds, they were extremely open.

It was currently Monday lunchtime at Hawkins Elementary, you sending the kids off to the lunch hall for the next hour, glad to be spending some time to yourself. The leaving process was hard, you slowly removing non-essentials from your classroom day by day, the complete classroom clean-up having to take place the first Monday of Summer Break.

However, after sending the last group of students on their way, Alena continues sitting at her seat, twiddling her thumbs as she looks to the floor.

��Hey honey,” you say softly, hanging up the children’s paintings to dry, “Why haven’t you gone to lunch with your friends?”

“I wanna ask you something,” she quietly whispers, you stopping your task and sitting on the small, blue seat next to her.

“Ask away my love,” you smile.

“Um…” she starts, seemingly nervous to ask the question she desired, “Are you leaving because of my daddy?”

The words that came out of the seven-year-old’s mouth shock you to your core. What the fuck did Steve tell her?

You cough slightly, trying not to let the situation become too uncomfortable. Well, it was you who was more uncomfortable, the young girl sat beside you was just curious. “Honey, there’s some things as teachers that we can’t share with you. You know how daddy has probably taught you not to give out your full name to strangers?”

She nods as you explain further, “Well just like how you can’t do that, I can’t tell you why I am leaving. It’s a thing called privacy, sweetheart.”

“But… But you aren’t a stranger to me!” she begins, the next words she speaks being the upmost truth you’ve ever heard in your life. “It just… Daddy loves you, but he said he can’t love you because you’re my teacher. But, if you’re leaving, does that mean you broke the rules? Did you get in trouble?”

You pursed your lips as you stared into Alena’s blue eyes. It was heartbreaking that a seven-year-old girl figured out the ways of life that young. She shouldn’t be knowing all this stuff, be understanding the rules of the education system surrounding love and relationships. And to say you were angry at Steve for telling his daughter his love for you was an understatement. No parent should get their kid involved in the middle of their relationship drama. That was strictly between the two of you.

But, you were already fired. No amount of disguising the truth was going to improve your permanent record. It was fucked. So, what did you have to lose?

You nod, taking her small hands in your own, “Yes, honey, we did break the rules. Your daddy and I kissed and the principal found out. I have to leave because I broke the rules, that’s what he said. Now, you can’t go telling your friends that, okay? This is a secret between just us.”

You tried your hardest to explain it in a way that her young brain would understand, not going into too much detail of the actual ins and outs of the situation involving the security cameras and confidentiality breach.

She nods, “Okay, I won’t tell. But… it’s not fair that you have to leave. You love daddy too, right?”

That was the burning question. Did you love him? Or did you not?

You sigh, “I do love him, yes sweetheart. But, that’s just how life is sometimes. We can’t be with everyone we love.”

You hated that you had to admit that truth to a kid. She should be learning about the hardships of love in her teenage years, not as a seven-year-old.

“Life is stupid,” she mumbles out, pouting as she crosses her arms. Her facial expression makes you giggle softly, beginning to stand up and hold out your hand, “Come on, you’re gonna miss lunch at this rate.”

Her lips curl up in a smile at the mention of lunch, her wrapping her hand in yours as you lead her down to the lunch hall, asking her what she was eating for today.

Because after all, that was your favourite part about teaching: the innocence of kids distracting you from your everyday problems. And now, you wouldn’t even have that anymore.

this is the penultimate chapter guys! one more chapter to go to complete this five part series! i hope it ends in a way that you all love! plus, i may or may not be allowing you to have input in spinoff ideas :)

taglist: @livsters @bakugouswh0r3 @nix-rose @ihatepeanutss @cats00089 @suitelif3 @clincallyonline17 @crowssixof comment if you want to be added!!

→ next chapter.

[lilpixielixie]

Delicate | hwang hyunjin x fem! reader

"This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me"

- Delicate, Taylor Swift

Summary: Moving to Seul wasn't something that Selene expected to do, but her broken heart and tired soul were craving for peace. She didn't even think too much about it: she simply saw an opportunity that would let her hide from the media and Hollywood for some time and took it. However, she will have to make a decision by the end of the year and she hopes that, when the time comes, the same world that was hating on her right now would forget everything. Maybe she wasn't meant to be an actress, but she was sure she wasn't meant to be loved. At least, that was what she thought before meeting an idol who wasn't treating her like a broken and pitiful person.

Status: on going (started 08/02/2024)

Genre: actress!reader x idol!hyunjin, SLOW BURN, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut (minors dni)

Warnings: there will be descriptions and heavy talk about mental illnesses (depression mainly), past abusive and toxic relationship (the character is oc and not present in the story), past abusive household, depression recovery, cheating (not between the main couple), hate on the web (idk how to tag this), the not so secret dark side of being a celebrity and I think nothing else...I will add things up if anything else comes into my mind.

General info: I won't be constant with the updates because it's a complex plot and I need time to write it down and I'm a perfectionist. Also, this is just a hobby, unfortunately I need to work irl (being an adult sucks and your girl needs money🥲). Actually, it's been two years since I got this idea and I've been thinking about it everyday since then and finally I decided to write and post it. This fic is settled back in 2021 because it follows skz's career from the end of hyunjin's hiatus to (for now) the release of case 143. For now it will be divided into two seasons: the first one is from their meeting to them becoming friends and the second one will focus on them going from friends to lovers. Even though in the first season they're not a couple, there will be hints to romance. Also, it's necessary for the introduction to the backstory of the reader. As for the reader, I'll make a post with the basic info you need to know before diving into the story. There will be all skz members, some members of enhypen for plot reasons and mentions of other idols.

~ Selene Profile

SEASON ONE🔓

~ Chapter one (08/02/24) ~ Chapter two (14/03/24) ~ Chapter three (21/04/24) ~ Chapter four (27/04/24) ~ Chapter five (21/06/24) ~ Chapter six (19/07/2024) ~ Chapter seven ~ Chapter eight ~ Chapter nine ~ Chapter ten

more to come!

SEASON TWO🔒

© lilpixielixie all rights reserved | do not copy, repost or translate this fic.

[starlitiris]

“Where is the Justice?”

Chapter 5: Lab Rat

Summary: “Sebastian and Malachi are having lunch together, just as they have been everyday for the past few months. I’d like to say that nothing is new, but that would be a lie. It’s the calm before the storm.”

Notes are at the end

~ ⚖️ ~

January 29th, 2014

“Looking a little blue around the gills, Sebastian!” Malachi sat across from Sebastian at the table, setting his lunch tray down without much care. He grinned, finding himself very funny.

“Dude. Not cool,” Sebastian glared.

“Well, it’s true,” Malachi picks up his fruit cup to open it. “You do have gills, and they are blue,” he points out.

Sebastian rolls his eyes and goes back to picking at his meatloaf – if he could even call it that. The food here wasn’t much better than what he was given in surface-prison.

Sebastian wasn’t too jazzed about having gills visible on his neck for everyone to see. He wasn’t too jazzed about them being there period. It hurt and itched to grow them in, and the soreness and itching hadn’t stopped yet. It was distracting and unpleasant, not to mention the skin around his gills was starting to turn a blueish-gray. It looked gross to him. And everyone can see it. At least his jumpsuit was hiding the gills that had formed on his sides. Those ones looked even more disgusting, in Sebastian’s humble opinion.

“You’re an ass,” Sebastian remarked.

“Nahh, you love me!” Malachi said teasingly before shoveling a spoonful of diced fruits into his mouth. He didn’t finish chewing before he spoke again. “So, any updates? What’s the deal with, uh… whatever’s going on with you?”

“No idea. They said the skin changing color is a side effect they’re going to have to rule out. They also said that my skin changing color seems to be the only side effect presenting itself so far, but if anything else starts to change, then they might put me on 24 hour watch to monitor the changes. Also to make sure I don’t die or melt into a puddle of goo, too, probably.”

“Damn. Hopefully turning you into a smurf is the only side effect,” the blond added, this time without a mouth full of food.

“Okay, first off, fuck you. Don’t call me a smurf. And second… yeah, me too. But knowing how my luck has been lately, it probably won’t be the only side effect I have to deal with,” he concluded pessimistically, finally beginning to eat the slop on his tray.

“Hey, you never know! Your luck might start to turn around soon,” Malachi offered a hopeful grin.

“Easy for you to say,” Sebastian retorts. “I got sentenced to death for something I had nothing to do with right after finding out my partner was pregnant, got brought down here 32 minutes before I was supposed to be killed, wasn’t even here for a month before being randomly selected for a human experiment meant to disfigure me, and now I have gross gray gills on my body and everything is sore and itchy.”

“... Mm. Well,” Malachi starts, “at least you’re alive.”

Sebastian looks up from his food to see his friend’s sympathetic smile.

“And you have me!” The blond shrugged. “That’s somethin’ right? I think it helps to have a friend when everything sucks. No matter what happens to you because of this experiment thing, I’ll always be right beside you, man.”

Sebastian says nothing.

“I mean, I know I annoy the shit out of you sometimes, but I just like to have fun. And I care, y’know? I try to be a good friend to you when it counts,” he sets his empty fruit cup to the side and continues. “I know you lost a lot and feel like you have nothing left, but you have me. And you always will.”

Sebastian stares at his friend thoughtfully for a moment, then sighs. “I don’t know how you stay so optimistic when you lost everything, too, and got stuck in this shithole.”

“Blame my sister. She’s the one that taught me to make the best out of anything. And besides, I didn’t lose everything. I still have myself! And that’s something that nobody can take away from me. Plus, I have you now!” Malachi playfully kicks one of his friend’s feet under the table. “You and I are in this together from now on. So don’t go dyin’ on me in some containment cell, okay?”

“Tsk. Yeah, whatever,” Sebastian can’t help but smile a little. Malachi’s good mood was obnoxiously contagious.

He really isn’t sure how Malachi does it. Half the time, he seems to be off in his own little world where everything is sunshine and rainbows. As if they aren’t doing slave labor at the bottom of the ocean as punishment for crimes they either didn’t commit, or didn’t know they were committing. As if the other prisoners around them weren’t dropping like flies because of whatever this organization was making them do. But Malachi proves time and time again that he isn’t oblivious to any of that. He understood the gravity of the situation they were in. It was unfair, and their lives were at risk everyday. It sucks, and Malachi knew it. But he wouldn’t let this place, or anyone break his spirit. He wouldn’t let anyone break him. Sebastian admired that.

Having Malachi around keeps him afloat. Sebastian is still grouchy and miserable all of the time – it’s hard not to be when he’s still trying to process how much he’s lost and been through in the past months – but Malachi helps him push through. He helps Sebastian think sometimes, even if just for a brief moment, that maybe things will be okay.

And all Sebastian does is bitch and moan about how terrible life is. He knows he can’t really be blamed considering everything he’s been through, but he must be a real drag to be around, huh? He feels like he owes a lot to Malachi. He supposes… trying to be a little more positive is the least he can do.

“... My birthday is soon,” Sebastian mumbles.

Malachi perks up at this exciting piece of new information. “No shit, really? When is it?”

“February 3rd. I turn 21.”

“Oh, nice! I know there’s not a whole lot we can do about it, but I’ll try to think of something! Maybe I’ll just give you whatever you want from my lunch tray as a birthday gift,” he notes with a goofy smile.

Sebastian shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to do that. Keep your crappy lunch to yourself.”

“I gotta do something for you. It’s your birthday! And we both need a little more celebration in our lives, anyway.”

“Giving me your food is probably the only thing you can do, and I don’t wanna take your food from you. You need to eat.”

“You won’t be taking my food. You’ll be receiving my food. As a gift. Besides, it’ll only be for one day and I’m not giving you my entire lunch.”

“Yeah, yeah. Still. A simple ‘happy birthday’ will do.”

“Hmph,” Malachi crosses his arms and thinks. “Oh! You know what- maybe if we’re lucky, they’ll have those blueberry muffins you like as an option for breakfast again! If they do, I’ll give you mine and settle for a carton of milk or something.”

“... Alright. Fine. If they’re giving out the muffins again.”

Malachi grinned, happy to have made some sort of compromise. Sebastian shook his head again, but he was still smiling. He appreciates his friend wanting to do something nice for him on his birthday.

Enjoying his upcoming birthday would be difficult. He desperately wanted to spend it with you. With you, his mom, Rita, Gavin, and the twins which he was sure had been welcomed to the world by now. Thinking about the twins left a sharp pang in his heart, knowing he would never meet them. But, as per Malachi’s advice, he would try to remind himself that they were in good hands. And he would try his best to enjoy his birthday a little. For Malachi, for himself, and for you. He knows you would want him to try.

And, to a very small degree, he was able to. His luck did briefly turn around on the day of his birthday, and he was able to have two blueberry muffins for breakfast, courtesy of Malachi.

If only that luck had lasted, though. A few months later he would be struck with migraines and severe leg pains. He was rendered unable to work, claiming to be in too much pain and not having full function of his legs anymore. So, as planned by the scientists on his case, he would be taken away for testing and 24 supervision.

Malachi was worried, hoping his friend would be okay and wouldn’t be gone for long. It was a little alarming to watch him get carried away on a stretcher.

In the following weeks, Sebastian ended up being glad for once that you and the others thought he was dead. This way, none of you would have to know about what was happening to him in the months to come.

You wouldn’t have to find out about any of it. He truly believed it was better this way.

Death would’ve been more merciful than what he was about to go through.

~ ⚖️ ~

Ending Notes: At least he got his blueberry muffins

Sorry my chapters for this series tend to be so short </3 I might come back to this later and try to make it a little longer, but no promises. If I do end up doing that though, I’ll be sure to let you guys know in the notes on the next chapter!

Ao3

Chapter 4 - Chapter 6

[levi501ackerman]

Steel Heart Chapter 21:

Power at Play

Hange x Reader Chapter Index Masterlist

Megan's Note: Thank you so much for your patience and for reading. Honestly, my life was a little rough I had two exams and the new job I started? I had to resign which was very emotional for me. I've written little by little everyday. Forgive me <3 Not a day went by where I wanted to sit on my couch and write. Steel Heart consumes my thoughts. Thank you for staying with me and I am so excited for the last half of this story. Just a reminder this story is dark and acts 3 & 4 are more angsty and violent. Thank you so much. Posted: 9/27/24

Word Count: 5k

 Three Weeks Later

Shades of angry grey clouds hovered in the sky, yet they were the only light source dimming through the opened arched window. The dark stones that lined the walls and flooring of the room rendered an illusion of darkness. He called the room ‘luxurious’ because of its privacy and view.

The room was in the tallest tower of the temple, overlooking a desolate, foggy, dark land and the rest of the temple. Thorns of sharp stibnite coiled and surrounded the temple, ready to gash and latch onto flesh. Stibnite thorns penetrate the skin and break down to microscopic needles. Leaving a pinching sensation of itching for days. Normal scratching does not appease the itch. Only the cuts of blades satisfy and relieve the ache. Those who are desperate enough to satisfy the itch slice their flesh, littering their body with wounds seeping out blood. 

The sky was your only form of entertainment as the ‘luxurious’ room only had a bed. Sitting on the stone flooring and resting your head on your arms while overlooking the temple was your only activity to choose from. With tears in your eyes and an ache in your heart, you imagined Hange on their white horse, charging toward the temple. You dreamed of Hange rescuing you and returning to being safe in their arms. The same imagery of Hange valiantly fighting and killing anyone who got in the way of you replayed for hours in your mind. The thought sparked hope and you craved the hit of dopamine that was released while daydreaming. 

It wasn’t enough. 

The man who was assigned to join Levi’s camp, Reiner Braun, brought you breakfast, lunch, and dinner for nineteen days. Each time he entered your room, you glared at the knight you once thought was on your side. A knight that the late Commander Lobov assigned to join Levi’s group of knights to escort you to Mitras Castle. 

The Marleyan Cult gave you a balanced diet because they wanted you to be in the healthiest condition when it came time for the ritual on your quarter birthday. The burly blonde man encouraged you to eat, but you starved out of spite for a while. But the twisting knot in your stomach and the weak, lethargic feeling made you bitterly give in to eating their food. Sometime around the two-week mark, Reiner brought a bowl of steaming potato soup and an unsettling thought dawned on you. You realized the bowl of soup was hot enough to cause harm. The astonishing urge to throw the soup into Reiner’s face made your appetite disappear. How could you think of doing a violent act? He was giving you food and you wanted to burn the flesh around his face off?! That’s not ladylike. Reiner had not tried to hurt you. No one had. But Reiner did betray you.

Gazing out the large arch opening in the room became dreary and hopeless. Not a knight in sight. Hange wouldn’t forget about you. Levi wouldn’t . . . they all couldn’t. You are the Princess, the heir to the throne. Did they know where you were? You didn’t even know where you were. 

The chains rattled as you shifted onto your side in the small bed. Reiner had to put a cuff on your left wrist and right ankle. He only did it yesterday. For nineteen days, they let you roam ‘free’ locked away in the room of the tallest tower. It became unbearable with the arched opening providing a dismal view and your thoughts left to entertain you. The dwelling fantasies of Hange rescuing you became hopeless and fleeting. Each evening the sun went down; tears fell from your eyes. 

Not a day went by where you didn’t berate yourself for the choices you made. You had a twisted feeling that if Levi were ever to see you again, he’d lay right into you. Embarrassment festered within you because of the consequences of believing you alone could have saved Jean. Being abducted was another instance that proved you were weak and not able to fight if needed. You’ll always need to rely on someone’s strength for survival because you’re a pathetic, weak girl. You wanted to step outside your body and slap yourself. You figured Fairy Godmother Christa would have if she heard you strayed away from your protectors. 

By the twentieth day, no hope was left to feed your imagination. The thought of Hange’s body lying in a field of grass tormented you. Perhaps that was why Hange, Levi, and the rest of the camp haven’t come to save you? Maybe, after being abducted, Flegel’s farm was attacked by a ward of the Marleyan Cult. Flies are swarming around the bodies and maggots are crawling out of the knight’s flesh. They can’t save you because they are dead. Hange’s dead. 

On the twentieth day of being locked in the tower, you cried into the dirty white cotton sleeves of Hange’s shirt. Your heart ached at the idea that Hange was murdered. It was unbearable to imagine the person who was the light in the dark, your guardian angel, and the person who you held a special bond in your heart as dead. On the twentieth day, the memory of being with Hange ran through your mind. 

“Did you know swans mate for life?” Their voice was barely a whisper and Hange’s fact tugged a smile around your lips. You remembered sitting on Hange’s lap on the bed in Flegel’s Farm. The flutter in your chest as Hange alluded to being beautiful swans and their doe eye fondly meeting your gaze. 

“That is a beautiful fact,” you whispered, stroking their hair again. Hange’s beautiful like a swan, though they didn’t think they were. 

“You are like a swan . . . pure, innocent, and beautiful . . .” Hange leaned forward.

“I was thinking the same thing about you . . .” you rested your forehead on theirs and wrapped your arms around Hange’s neck. Two swans.

“Do you know why they call it a swan dive?” 

“Why?”

“When a swan loses their mate, the swan flies to the highest point in the sky and dives to the ground—killing themselves.”

The tops of the temple building and the open stone rooftops had guards and Marleyan Cultists peering out into the fog. There was an odd curiosity as you stood on the open ledge, peering down at the temple. What a far drop for a swan. Does the swan dive hurt? You wouldn’t do it because deep inside, you knew Hange would rescue you. Hange will come. Your guardian angel will arrive eventually.

Arms around your waist ripped you backward and you screamed as you were lifted away from the arched window. You writhed and kicked against the man, gruffing and you screamed at him to let you go. He forced you onto the bed and held you down with one arm. Your chest was against the mattress and thrashed more, feeling vulnerable and helpless against his strength. Reiner was cursing under his breath as he grabbed the chains and cuffed your wrist and ankle. He was yelling at you, frustrated about why you were going to hurt yourself. You heaved and turned over in the bed, noticing Reiner was catching his breath—struggling just as much as you were. Tears were in your eyes as you explained you were only looking. Reiner muttered and left the room. 

Since you were away from the stone arch of the window, the rest of the day and the following day crawled by. The room's stone ceiling was boring and old to look at. If only Reiner hadn’t caught you, you could have looked out the arched opening at the same mundane view.

The door opened and your heart leaped out of your chest. The blonde man who abducted you was standing in the doorway, along with a man with darker hair. The blonde man was wearing a white dress shirt and slacks. The clothes were fitted to him and there wasn’t a single wrinkle. The jeweled sword was gleaming and hanging on his hip. You sprung into a sitting position from where you laid. Your back was pressed against the wall as the two men approached closer.

“My Princess, why would you try such a horrid thing?” The blonde man’s long hair was combed and appeared soft. His hair was brushed and laid neatly on his shoulders. The blonde man sat on the edge of the bed and the other man, who was tall and lanky, stood against the wall. You scowled at the man who took you away from Hange. Then, you crossed your arms and looked through the door's threshold. “Did you really want to hurt yourself?”

Out of spite, you stared at the descending stairs leading down the tower. The blonde man stood from the bed and motioned to the dark-haired man. He began uncuffing you and then he pulled you from the bed. The blonde man started walking down the stairs and the dark-haired man had a firm grasp on your bicep. His large hand pulled you through the door and you bitterly complied. You were forced to walk down a long spiral staircase. Curiosity piqued as you didn’t see how you came to be in the tallest tower or the temple—only remembering the sensation of being lifted and the wind in your face. Your face contorted at the realization of your memories. Why were you lifted off the ground so high? It felt like you were flying . . .

The staircase led out to a grand dark stone room, with the Marleyan Cultist guarding the openings of different hallways leading elsewhere. There were torches on the wall, but the stone room was dim. The wall’s lack of windows or openings created the suffocating feeling of being underground. The eyes of the cultists made the hair on your neck stand. Their eyes gawked at you like you were a rare gem or they were starving wolves and you were the vulnerable bunny. The men were larger and scarier, and fighting against them was useless. 

The blonde and dark-haired man led you through large metal doors that two cultists opened. The doors led to a mezzanine overlooking the upper bailey of the temple. It opened to the sky and had stone walls short enough for the average person to peer over. In the middle of the dark stone rooftop were stacks of logs crackling and burning bright emerald green fire—the hottest flames. 

The Marleyan Cultists danced around the fire and threw flags onto the emerald flames. One flag was dark green and had a symbol of a steel heater-shaped shield with a graphic of blue and white wings. The other flag was red with a gold heater-shaped shield and the image of golden lions wearing opulent crowns on each side. 

One man pointed up to the mezzanine you stood and the heads of the cultist locked on you. Their faces glowed green as they jeered and snarled incoherently to you. When you tried to step away from their view, the dark-haired man’s grasp on your arm kept you in place. The blonde man sat on a chair; he sat tall and sighed, enjoying the celebration. 

“Bertolt, fetch a chair for our Princess,” The blonde man said, not taking his eyes off the emerald fire. The man named Bertolt’s hand released your arm, and he hastily went through the large metal doors. More men were guarding both sides of the door. “You will not get far in your attempt to escape.”

Your breath hitched as you whipped your head to his smooth voice. Then you shook your head and stumbled over your words, stunned at his accusation. 

“I—”

“I have been told you were denying meals . . .” he craned his head toward you and his eyes were sharper, unpleased. There was a sinking feeling in your chest like you were being dragged under deep water, but with all the effort, you wouldn’t reach the surface. His blue eyes were fixed on your cowering form. “Tell me this . . . why do you neglect your health?” 

“I’m sorry I—” your thoughts interrupted you. You didn’t owe him an explanation. The man doesn’t deserve one. This man was someone who took you away from Hange. He’ll hold you captive until the ritual on your twenty-fifth birthday, and then . . . what? You closed your eyes and inhaled, ignoring the men below hollering at your presence. Before you exhaled, you vowed you wouldn’t apologize ever again. “No . . . tell me this,” you gritted and opened your eyes. “Did you kill my protectors? The night you took me from them, did you kill them after?”

You were taken aback by his sudden chuckle and tried to remain serious. Then he turned to admire the cultists celebrating and dancing around the emerald fire.  

“I want us to develop a relationship, my Princess, so I will answer you: no, unfortunately, they are alive.” 

“They’ll come for me! My knights—”

“The Knights of the Royal King’s Guard,” he sneered, “What a title. What an honor . . . I hope they come. I hope they all do.”

“A chair, my Princess?” Bertolt placed a chair next to the blonde man’s throne. Then he motioned for you to sit. When you stayed firm in your place, the blonde man's challenging gaze eyed you. You fixated on his eyes, daring not to look away—not to give in.

“No. I’ll stand.”

“Sit.” He demanded.

“No.”

“I do not obey you and you can’t make me!”

“I can not?” His deep voice hummed and the melody of his voice had a mischievous ring. 

“I know you won't! You want me healthy for the ritual right? I know you’re not—” An immediate sharp and jarring sensation landed on your left cheek. The sudden stinging threw you off, and you gasped, feeling hands on your shoulders pushing you back. The loss of your balance made you stumble backward, landing in the chair. Your hair landed in your face, shielding your vision for what may come. Your heart pounded in your throat and you swallowed, catching your breath. Hair covered your eyes and the man's shadow stood tall before you. You swept your hair behind your ears and, once again, the man peered down at you. He towered over you and dominated your vision—demanding your focus to be paid only to him. 

“Do you have manners?” He placed a hand on your left cheek, caressing the place he just smacked. “I know you will be obedient . . . Your twenty-fifth birthday is in a while, so you will have time to heal . . .” You gasped at his threatening implications. He took his hand off your cheek and returned to his throne. You stared at the grey clouds drifting across the sky. Your breath was shaky, and your eyes shifted to Bertolt, who stared at the celebration as if he hadn’t seen you get smacked. 

The men cheering around the emerald fire festered a distasteful feeling. How could the cult leader who has sought you out and highly valued you for his ritual mistreat you? A pressure behind your nose built and you blinked furiously, out of spite, not wanting him to see you cry. You swallowed, looking down at your lap. Hange’s tan slacks and the dirty white cotton shirt may be the only things you have left of them. They’ll come. They wouldn’t forget about you.

“ . . . What is all this for?” You breathed out. You were trapped in a corner and forced to accept your fate. The fire burned through the red and green flags, cutting through the emblems and leaving black, crisp fabric behind. “Why do you need me for a ritual? What’s your ultimate weapon? What is all this for? ”

The emerald fire burned what was left of the two flags and more logs were thrown onto the pile. 

“Would you like me to show you?” You furrowed your eyebrows, and the cult leader stood. He offered a hand to you like a gentleman, but the polite gesture was precariously unnerving. The hand that—moments ago—struck you. 

“What are you showing me?”

“The ritual.” With your heart pounding, you froze and attempted to disguise your fear. He brought his hand closer to you, egging you to accept the invitation. Was the man going to show you a sort of torture device that would be used to kill you? The ritual is what you have been wondering since the night you fled from Shiganshina with Sir Miche Zacharius. What happens in the ritual? 

“LORD WILLY TYBUR!” Reiner burst through the large metal doors. The man named Willy Tybur froze.

“Reiner? What’s wrong?” Bertolt asked. Reiner’s face was pink, and sweat was dripping down his face. Reiner huffed and struggled to catch his breath. The crescendo of voices from the celebration overwhelmed your ears and Reiner inhaled a large breath. He stood straight and pointed over the stone railing of the mezzanine, over the upper bailey and at the foggy, desolate valley. 

“A single horse was spotted coming from the south. A chestnut Arabian—the common horse used by the Royal Military!” You sprang from your chair, longing to see the horse. You were practically leaning over the stone railing and searching for any sign of the knights. The valley was still, and you couldn’t find the horse Reiner had described. A hand grabbed your bicep and pulled you back from the railing. You gasped at the sudden contact. Willy Tybur firmly held you and there was a smirk on his face as he addressed Reiner. 

“Tell Tarhos Kovacs to ready the defense ward and at the next sign of the knights . . . release the mutts.” Lord Willy Tybur pulled you as he walked toward the metal doors. Your heart pounded at the memories of the malicious canines that attacked you on the way to the Karanese District. Your chest heaved at the realization that Dame Hange Zoe and their squad hadn’t encountered the dogs yet. You craned your neck, looking over your shoulder at the valley, hoping to see a sign of the knights. 

As Cult Leader Willy Tybur forced you back inside, you stared at the stone floor, worrying about a mutt pouncing onto Hange and knocking them off their horse. There was a thick lump in your throat thinking of a mutt biting into Hange’s neck and possibly killing them. Hange has to live. Hange has to rescue you.

Warm tears blurred your vision, and Willy Tybur pulled you down a spiral staircase. Your violent imagination was clouding your sense of direction. It was getting colder and Willy Tybur was leading you down windowless halls, stairs and large rooms. The stone was getting darker and the torches were dimmer. A sudden thought came to the forefront of your mind . . . Willy Tybur must have been preparing for the moment the Knights of the Royal King’s Guard came to rescue you . . . What did he mean when he hoped they all would come? The thought of Hange coming to rescue you was once a hopeful thought, but now dread was born and festering. A swan will dive if Hange does not live. 

“What did you mean when you said you hoped all the Knights of the Royal King’s Guard would come for me?! Let go of me!” Your voice echoed off the stone walls and you pulled your arm from him, but his grip was unyielding. Snot filled your right nostril and your face was hot. “Let go of me! You won! You have me and I’m trapped here! You won! I can’t escape so let me walk freely!” 

His hypnotizing blue eyes peered down on you and one of his thin eyebrows perked up. Willy Tybur’s smug smile made you clench your jaw. It felt like you were deep in the lower part of the temple and even if he were to drop dead, the way to escape from the temple was like an unknown labyrinth. He released his hold on your bicep and eyed you, rubbing the area he held you. Though his physical hold on you was gone, he knew you were still under his control. 

“Do you know what your blood possesses?” His smooth voice spilled from his lips. 

“What did you mean when you said you hoped all—” 

“I have been waiting for the day your knights come. I will take their lives and the five jeweled swords.” He spat and you cringed at his declaration. Willy Tybur’s booming voice forced you to submit to him. “Once I am in possession of all six gemstones. No person will be able to stop the power of the nine from dominating the entire world!”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his words. The power of the nine? What was he talking about? Then another realization sprouted in your mind: the six gemstones . . . ?

“Gemstones . . .?”

“Follow me.” Cult Leader Willy Tybur pivoted and continued walking through the empty stone hall. You choked on your words and followed him toward a metal door. “Do you recall that knight’s story?” You gazed at his face while he stared straight ahead.

“What knight’s story?”

“The dame you kissed by the river.” He sneered and the air was sucked out of your lungs. The Cult leader saw you in an intimate moment with Hange. A fond moment of your first romantic connection with Hange was now tainted with the thought of your captor watching, loomed over you. The man was watching—following you. All the way to Flegel’s Farm. How long has he been watching you . . . ? Was it before that night you saw him in the forest? “The Legend of the Titans is not only a scary story for children but a truth to the history of our world . . .”

“Titans are real?” You whispered, mostly to yourself. 

“There were nine intelligent titans and hundreds of pure titans. They ruled the world and improved it vastly. Only the nine intelligent titans could shift between human and titan forms.” Willy Tybur’s confident voice rang through the stone hallway and the dread of reaching the metal door crept into your mind. What was behind the door? “After the battle between the power of the nine and the world, the world killed all but one. The most important one: The Founder.”

“The Founder . . . ?” You eyed the orange sword at his hip. If only you had the strength to wield the sword. “Is that where you’re taking me? Where the Founding titan is being kept?” In the distance, there was a booming sound and dust fell from the ceiling of the stone hallway. The knights couldn’t have entered the temple so soon . . . what was going on above the surface?

“Do you not listen? I told you I am showing you the ritual,” he taunted. The whites of your eyes were red and you glared at Lord Willy Tybur. His long blonde hair masked the side of his face from your view and there was a twisted, foreboding feeling in your chest. 

In the distance, a sound made the hairs on your neck stand up. A faint howl from above echoed from another part of the temple. Your heart was in your throat and Cult Leader Willy Tybur’s words ran through your mind. ‘At the next sign of the knights, release the mutts’. The shock of the realization that the knights have been spotted petrified you. Hange truly is coming to rescue you. 

“They’re here?!” You looked to the stone ceiling as if you were going to hear another sign of the knights. Willy Tybur pulled a chain from under his white dress shirt. Around the chain was a bright silver key gleaming in the torch's dull light. The door unlocked with a click, and he turned to you.

“My Princess . . .” Willy Tybur opened the door and gestured for you to enter. You held your breath and his sharp eyes demanded you to comply. “ . . . Ladies, first.”

As you entered, chilling air hit your chest and abdomen. Behind the door wasn’t a titan and it wasn’t a dark room lit by ominous candles. Behind the door was a grand staircase descending against the side of a vast room. From floor to ceiling, the room was made of shiny light blue crystal shimmering white iridescent dust with a purple haze. The chamber of hardened crystal was like an ethereal icy glacier. The glow of the room was unlike anything you’ve ever seen. 

The stairs descended another hundred feet. On the other side of the room, two staircases met in the middle, forming a hovering platform that jetted toward the middle. On the tip of the platform was something you couldn’t quite make out. From the distance, you could see a circular shape in the dark figure. 

As you stepped inside, you couldn’t take your eyes off the sudden drop. If Cult Leader Willy Tybur wanted to kill you, he could push you off the stairs and smash you against the crystalized ground from the hundred-foot drop. He shut the door behind you and you jumped, feeling trapped—almost suffocated. Then, he encouraged you to continue down the stairs. What if the knights enter the temple, but you’re too deep in it for them to find you?

“What is this place?”

“Each of the nine had magnificent powers,” his voice echoed and you stayed close to the wall as you stepped down the stairs. “The Warhammer Titan made weapons out of thin air. The Jaw was fast and had inhumane mandible strength. The Cart had the endurance to stay in their titan form over long periods of time. The Beast Titan surpasses the power of a hundred catapults. The Colossal Titan was like a nuclear explosion. The Attack titan was the fighter and had the power to send memories to previous inheritors. The Armored Titan was a shield, and the Female Titan was agile and versatile with her combat skills, ability to harden, and the power to summon pure titans. The Founder was the first titan and when the Founding Titan has its full potential, it can do anything.”

You continued down the stairs and couldn’t figure out which thought to explore. The idea that there were once gigantic people with special powers who ruled the earth was daunting. The memory of Hange telling you the story of the Legends of the Titans crossed your mind. In their story, they mention only eight of the bodies were found, and one titan was left alive. 

“And the Founder wants to rebuild the power of the titans just like in the story. . .”

“Correct.”

“What does this have to do with me . . . ?” Lord Willy Tybur descended past you. His chin was held high and a charming smile appeared on his lips.

“Centuries went by since the war and the Founding Titan was passed down every thirteen years. The Marleyan Cult stole the Founder from the Royal Family centuries ago and wanted the power for themselves. The Marleyan Cult soon realized the power of the Founder could not revive the eight without royal blood. The Founding Titan’s power was weakened and nearly obsolete. 

“Years went by and the knowledge of the power faded away. New humans were born and the world forgot about the Power of the Nine. Time continued and five hundred years ago, the world was stormed with famine and disease. The Royal Family within the walls sent the best doctors from the castle into all the districts and provided their hefty food rations to the public. The Districts obeyed, followed, and respected the Royal Family stronger than before. 

“When a baby was born on the day of the coordinate, the Marleyan Cult grew in numbers. The birth of the child was the single belief that the Power of the Nine was beginning to return to the Founder. Since the day you were born, you were destined to be the key to the rebirth of the Founding Titan’s full power and on your twenty-fifth birthday, the Marleyan Cult will possess the power of the Founder.”

Your words were lodged in your throat. The idea that thousands of years ago, events that had nothing to do with you and the date of your birthday led up to the belief that you were worth sacrificing. As Lord Willy Tybur reached the bottom of the stairs, you followed him toward the double stairs on the other side of the room. The figure on the hovering platform was clearer and you furrowed your eyes at the sight of a spindle. A spindle? 

“So power? That’s why I am needed. Just for the Marleyan Cult to have power?” You followed Willy Tybur up the stairs and eyed the spindle. 

“Some are born with power and some obtain power.”

“I didn’t know I was a Princess until recently.”

“And what do you plan to do with your power?”

“ . . . I don’t know . . . I-I want to help people in some way—” 

“Help people or help yourself?” Willy Tybur clipped and you sensed he had already made up his mind about your intentions. It was like he thought you secretly enjoyed the power you were born into. But you haven’t thought about what you will do as a Queen or with your power. You’ve been told you would be producing an heir, but the main things you have focused on were not dying, avoiding the Marleyan Cult, and Hange. What is power? Is Power having people at your command, or is it the ability to make your own choices?

“I didn’t know I was a Princess—I didn’t want this!” You plead your case and Cult Leader Willy Tybur turned his attention to the spindle when he reached the top of the stairs. He swiftly walked toward the spindle and his eyes gleamed in awe. The needle of the spindle was long and sharp. Willy Tybur grazed the spindle wheel with his fingertips and you stayed behind him, not wanting to be near the long needle. 

“The power of the Founder can not reach its full potential without royal blood.” Willy Tybur looked over his shoulder at your form. You looked down at your legs and realized your right leg was trembling. With just a look from Willy Tybur, you knew he was aching for this. A future moment on your twenty-fifth birthday. It was like he was imagining you in the true moment—not the present. “You’ll prick your finger on the spindle and your blood shall spill.”

next chapter: Chapter 22: White Mustang

chapter index masterlist

[lokisprettygirl]

Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 23 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 24

Summary: Loki always comes back to you no matter what. You learn the reason why he hates Natasha now.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

"Happy birthday darling" he hugged you and you sighed as you felt the warmth of his body, well atleast he remembered your birthday, his whore of the night didn't fuck that out of his mind.

"Thank you" you looked up at him intently so he tried to pull away but you clutched onto his jacket.

It's been two months since you both shifted to LA and it's been rough, for one, it wasn't as easy to get into auditions as you had thought, you had no work experience but Loki was helping, he made connections and he made them quickly especially if it involved women, watching him fuck a different woman every other day was heartbreaking for you but you couldn't tell him that.

"What?" He asked you and it made you snap out of your thoughts. You didn't know what got into you but you got on your tiptoes and tried to kiss him which he immediately denied you for "What do you think you're doing?" He asked you as he glared at you with shock and probably a look of concern in his eyes.

"You do this everyday with every other woman..why are you surprised?" His jaw clenched at the tone so he grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you away

"Stay in your limits y/n ..This????" He gestured towards you and him with his hands "Can't happen you hear me?"

"Why not?"

"Are you out of your mind? Do you not remember who we are and where we come from? I am not one of your boyfriends.. behave alright?" He glared at you and the hurt you felt in the moment made you act out, you probably should have told him what you actually felt for him but the ego came in between, you weren't taking the rejection very well.

"You know what fuck off..I'm going out with Ron later anyway"

"You're doing no such thing y/n" you walked past him and ignored the threat, you just wanted to piss him off, hurt him how he was hurting you, see if he even cared.

"Well stop me if you can"

At the police station Loki wanted you to be away from Natasha and he refused to be taken in for questioning until you were there so they called you in. Besides, Steve wanted to interrogate you as well. Natasha was taken to the hospital to get her lips fixed. It was wrong to do what you both did with her but the way she put all the blame on Loki made you doubt her intentions too. You remember the defense that was used in court for her, a twenty year old woman couldn't have committed such horrible acts without being the victim herself, she got away under the same claims that were used to protect Loki.

But now that you think about it there might have been some lies on her behalf , maybe she did want to commit those crimes and maybe she wasn't as innocent as you thought her to be.

"Y/n" you heard Steve's voice so you got up, he took you to the interrogation room so you sat down. Steve was just a cop when Loki met him in New York, he was the one Loki sought for when he wanted to put a stop to his father's crimes in order to protect you, the case was a media circus and that had made him get the promotion finally. He was transferred to LAPD way before you and Loki came here, he was the one who helped with the accommodation and everything when you two decided to move here permanently. You knew you could trust him if nothing else.

"Is he alright?" You asked him so he nodded. He passed you a cup of coffee so you took it from him.

"I'm gonna ask you a few questions alright? You have the right to a lawyer and you can ask to leave anytime but between you and me I just want you to be honest with me y/n" you nodded as he said that.

"Why did Loki kidnap Natasha?" Your fingers fidgeted around the mug you were holding and eyes welled up as you felt overly anxious by the situation.

"I don't want…I don't want to say anything to get him in more trouble..I'm so scared" you hid your face between the hands as you cried and it made him sigh.

"Look he's already in trouble, he have confessed that he hit her and tied her up, that's enough to build a case"

"He didn't do that...look..she came in front of our car..out of nowhere and since Odin is out there..it didn't make any sense to him, are you going to question her? How did you guys even know she was there in our apartment?" You asked him and he tilted his head to look at you curiously.

"Don't worry about that. There's a pattern here y/n. That girl Roza two years ago? I saw the bruise on your cheek that day, and now this–"

"Roza was a stalker, she threatened my life, she was hurting him. I already told you about the bruise and Natasha is lying, she's hiding something. Come on Steve you know him" he looked down as you said that "You know he's not like that" your voice cracked and he gave you a sympathetic look. He did know Loki but with everything that he had gone through he didn't trust him to not walk into the same footsteps as his father.

You were free to go after that but you didn't want to go, you wanted to see him but you weren't allowed to. Two officers took you back home and for safety measures instead of patrolling outside the building they stood right outside your door, you still felt unsafe and scared, you didn't want to be without him, he was the only person who was able to make you feel completely safe.

All the crying made you pass out on the couch and when you woke up the next morning you called Steve, much to your bliss, Natasha has supposedly refused to file charges and claimed that it was a huge misunderstanding, there were some wounds that came to the surface and she made a hasty decision. You couldn't believe that but Steve told you that Loki was allowed to go home for now and that made you feel a little better. You quickly freshened up, showered and made breakfast, he must-have been starving.

When he came back you hugged him as tightly as you could but he seemed stiff, you looked up at him and his eyes were teary, he kissed your forehead and you were going to say something but he cut you off,

"I'm going to take a shower" he pulled himself away from you and then disappeared into the bathroom, he was taking too long to come out, it's been an hour and you wanted to knock on the door but then you didn't want to suffocate him. He probably was putting a lot of blame on himself and you hated how he couldn't catch a moment to just breathe and enjoy life, everytime you two got closer something like this happened and he was back to right where he started from.

He came out all naked so you sat up and watched him dress himself up, a black trouser that he paired with a white tee.

"Loki are you okay?" You asked him so he shrugged "Why did she change her statement?"

"I don't really know but does it even matter?" He asked you so you shook your head, he seemed angry and hurt.

He probably had an inkling why she changed her statement, especially considering how she refused to visit the station- her excuse being that her kid was sick and she needed to go back to NYC. He didn't think she was in New York City. She came here with an agenda and this sudden change didn't fit the said agenda, there was a reason for that and if his doubts were correct he needed to do something about it. He can't risk getting himself arrested again, he can't leave you all alone here to fend for yourself.

"I need some sleep" he mumbled mindlessly .

"Well eat something first" you got off the bed but before you could get past him he grabbed your hand.

"I'll eat when I want to alright? I need sleep..get the fuck out of here" he let go of your hand and his insensitive words hurt you to the core, your eyes welled up immediately so you did what he asked you to. He took a deep breath to calm himself down but it didn't work, his fist punched into the door of the closet and that wasn't enough but it did take some of that anger out of his body.

He stormed out of his room and stepped into yours. Of course he found you curled up in your bed, couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever see a day where he's not making you cry at least once. You wiped your tears as you felt his weight on the bed. His arm wrapped around your waist to turn you towards him.

"Sorry?" He mumbled meekly. He was getting tired of his own apologies because he continued to hurt you one way or another.

"It's okayyyy" you kissed his forehead and for a change he didn't pull away.

"It's not okay, I missed you all night, i should be telling you that instead of doing whatever the fuck i did just now" you smiled as he said that. You had missed him too, more than anything. He wasn't a sappy guy, he always kept his feelings in control and you didn't really hate that but it still hurt when he was being mean like that.

"It's okay lolo..it's okay, I have missed you"

He pressed his head between the crook of your neck, the warmth of your body and his sleep deprived state put him to sleep quickly, you wanted him to talk to you, share his worries but that's not what he needed at the moment, having him so close to you felt like a miracle because you weren't anticipating him to be back so soon, a few hours later when you both woke up, he warmed up the food and you both ate in silence.

You were cleaning up after the lunch when you heard what sounded like a compliment,

"That skirt looks cute" Did he just use the word cute?

The white skirt paired with a white blouse made you look virginal and he fancied the look more than he wanted to admit to you or himself.

"I have worn this before" you smiled at him as you walked towards the kitchen table.

"Never noticed"

"Well you always had your eyes on other women" he smirked before he got up and picked you up to sit you down on the table.

"Only had my eyes on them"

"That's not true ..you also had your cock inside them"

"If you were so jealous you could have just told me that instead of being a brat" he sucked on your neck and it made you moan in response.

"You're so good at deflecting but I want us to talk..I want you to share what's going on in your head " you gasped as you felt his fingers running over the insides of your thighs inching closer to your burning heat.

"You want to talk or you want me to continue this?" You bit on your lips as he said that. You were in a pickle but you had your priorities set.

"Talk" he sighed and pulled away a little as you said that "And I need you close while we talk ..no running away" your tone was stern and it made him chuckle.

"Watch your tone sweetheart" you ignored the intimidating tone.

"What happened between you and Natasha? You liked her i know that but you seem to hate her now..why??" He didn't say anything and continued to stare at you for a while so you called out his name "Loki" He was about to slip past your hold but your wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your legs hooked around his waist in a tight grip

"What is it that you want to know?" He asked you, slightly agitated

"Everything" he bit on cheek as he thought about it.

He hated her, he despised her whole existence after that night

She was one of the reasons why he had a hard time connecting with women, not sexually but definitely emotionally.

His mother hardly ever cooked but she made dinner that night and it made him happy. At times guilt made it unbearable, he had gone to the cops already, they were planning to take this whole thing down with his help but he wondered what would happen to his mother. She caressed his cheek as she fed him with her hands, his eyes teared up, he didn't even remember the last time he had felt her motherly touch.

"Mum i.."

"Shhhh no talking during dinner"

She shut him up, didn't even listen to him, he wanted to take her away with him, no matter what she was his mother, and Thor was his brother, they were his family and they mattered to him. He wanted to help with the dishes afterwards but he started to feel dizzy, extremely dizzy, he was about to black out so Frigga sat him down on the chair..

"Mumma.." he could barely whisper

"It's okay sweetie, he won't harm you, he'd never hurt his children" he heard her voice before the darkness consumed him. When he woke up he found himself tied up on the bed in the den. Candles and torches illuminated the surroundings as usual, he was too familiar with this to expect anything good. His hands were bound to the headboard and as he looked around he saw his father sitting on the throne, his men had the cruel smile he was used to seeing on their faces, his whores were serving them drinks and what not. Thor stood in the corner with the look of hurt and helplessness in his eyes like always.

And then there was Natasha, sitting at the edge of the bed, all naked.

"Commence the ritual my darling" he commanded her and she got on top of him, he struggled as he wanted to get out of there but it was impossible

"What happened son? You think I don't know about your deviances? The secret rendezvous with her?" Odin mocked him

"Father please, I'm sorry, just get me out I'll do anything you want" he begged even though he knew he was only humiliating himself further

"Ohhh You think you can please her better? Let's see how much of a man you are then"

His eyes welled up as he looked at Natasha, sure they fucked each other but he thought they had an understanding, a mutual respect. He trusted her.

"What did you tell him?" He asked her so she gave him a cruel smile.

"The truth? You betrayed him and his trust, it was a test and you failed, couldn't resist me could you?" She grabbed his limp cock in her hands and he begged her to stop, all the people in there laughed at him and his weakness, his inability to take control of the situation.

"He says he doesn't want this but look at him enjoying as he's being taken by an inferior woman " Odin laughed at him and so did his men. He didn't want this but he was just a warm blooded man, his body betrayed him.

"Oh he's enjoying this master, he loves it when he's under me, we have done it plenty of times already, you should see him when he begs like a puppy…he's so pretty master but he could never ever be like you, could never treat a woman they way you do, could never control them, make them beg or make them whimper underneath him"

She snickered after finishing her words. Odin was pleased by her little speech even though they all knew she was lying, being submissive wasn't in his nature but they killed his ability to feel emotions too that night.

"Can't fight the need now can you? You're a pathetic little wimp that can never achieve manfulness. Ofcourse only real men can and you're no man Loki are you? Weakened by a frail little woman, your impotency never ceases to surprise me"

Those words, all those people laughing at his debasement, the backstabbing from his own mother that drugged him and the betrayal from someone he considered a friend was enough to shut him down. So he laid there and allowed them to destroy his self esteem, his self respect, his last shred of dignity. After being raped a multiple times he was lashed to repent and beg for forgiveness. Those physical wounds healed but Odin's words remained engraved on his mind forever and they still haunted him to this date. He could never forget how he really felt that night.

He told you the incident without flinching even once, you had been in that den, it was nothing lesser than a literal hell. Your heart felt heavy because you pictured the whole thing and you couldn't even imagine that he survived that. You wanted to go save him even though you knew it was impossible.

"She wasn't innocent, she wasn't the victim she had made herself to be, she was evil just like all of us" You cupped his cheeks as he said that.

"You're not evil lolo" he chuckled at your words

"You can choose to believe that"

"I do" you kissed his forehead and he was frozen, his body felt so stiff and now you knew why he was so afraid of being intimate and being vulnerable with you, why he was so repulsed when you wanted to be gentle with him, he felt weak because of what they had done to him that night and probably several nights after that. You didn't have the courage to know if it happened repeatedly.

"Having someone love you is not a weakness, it doesn't take away your manliness" his brows furrowed at the comment, he was trying to make sense of your words.

"I'm not submissive in nature if that's what you mean"

"Nothing wrong in being submissive with someone you trust and love"

"I'm just saying that it's not in my nature, she lied, i wasn't like that even with her" he defended himself even though you weren't even accusing him of anything. Your heart broke for your Lolo, you wanted to tell him that he didn't deserve that monstrosity but you knew what he'd say, he'd say that he deserved it for being so weak, that it was his own karma as he also hurt those girls the same way.

"And that's okay too, I don't want you to be anything you're not, I just want you to be yourself, i feel like a broken record but I just need you to allow yourself feel this..feel all of this" you whispered in his ears, one of your hand ran through his scalp while the other one caressed his back softly

"I do feel it my darling" his voice trembled so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him lovingly.

"But you hear him still, you hear their voices" you whispered amidst the kisses.

"I do"

"And I want to shut them out, that's all"

You took his shirt off slowly, his fingers trailed under your skirt, you felt his fingers rubbing over your clothes lips and it made you squirm against the table.

"Dadddyyy" the affectionate nickname rolled out of your lips and it always made him feel dominating.

"Lie down baby, I'm gonna take care of you so good, that's all I have ever wanted" his words made you mewl like a kitten, you laid down but your head went past the edge of the table so he grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer to him, your skirt riled up and gave him just the view he needed, the soaked fabric made his mouth water.

His fingers hooked around the waistband and lowered down your underwear, then he went down on his knees , he was so tall that the table was at the perfect height for him to submerge himself between your thighs without having to strain his own. He kissed down from the side of your knees and the closer he got to your heat the more paltipated you felt

"Mind if I share a secret?" he left an open mouthed kiss over your mound as he mumbled, your back arched and thighs clung around his head, this was nothing less than a dream, if felt like one as you stared at the blank ceiling of the living room.

"Please doo" he chuckled at the desperation reeking from your voice, the vibrations you felt from his words earlier had you dripping so he placed his mouth over your entrance and sucked it in like a candy.

"I don't do this often or ever, never cared much about their pleasure" you bit on your lips as he said that. You felt special

"Well your cock is enough to please" your fingers ran over his scalp in a caressing manner.

"I know that, you don't have to stroke my ego all the time baby" he spoke condescendingly, his tongue laid flat against your lips and he licked your wet dripping cunt up and down. "You taste so good my darling, so sweet, wasted four fucking years didn't i? Could have slept with my face stuffed between your gorgeous thighs every fuckinnggg nighhhhtt"

"God lokiii" you whined as he sucked on your clit, your mind felt hazy as his tongue slipped inside you "I wanted to fuck you so bad, you wouldn't even look at me" your eyes teared up because of the overwhelming need, you needed him in every way.

"You have no clue how hard it was for me darling" you smiled as he said that, knowing that he wanted you as much as you wanted him made the torture worth it somehow, you understood his hesitation now, why he felt sick with the idea of you and him, back then you didn't really get it but now you did. Now you knew him better because he opened himself up to you and wanted you to know what bothered him "Spent so many nights touching myself with the thoughts of your naked body underneath me, you're not the only one who suffered"

"I love you lolo.. I love you" the whiny tone made it so much better, for a moment, just a brief moment all the voices in his head had shut down, he only heard your voice and he had your taste in his mouth, your scent engulfed his entirety, your sheer femininity tickled a nerve in the pit of his stomach, guess this is what having butterflies felt like. His mouth worked like a magic, you have never felt something like this in your life before and you were glad you waited for this man to give it to you because you didn't think any other man could ever please your body and your heart all at once, the moment you had laid your eyes on this beautiful man your destiny was sealed and you were destined to become his.

The obscene sounds filled your ear, every part of your body felt warm, you were floating and drowning at the same time, he was the one holding you like an anchor but he was also the one keeping your head under the water, wanting to see how far you'd go for him, how much you'd suffer for him, how good you'd be for him.

"Closseeee daddyyy so close"

It was always so easy for him to please you and he loved that, his mind felt debauched as he wondered how many times he could push you over the edge in one setting, have you exhausted until you're limp in his arms begging him to stop but also give it to you just one more time.

"I got you baby..let go..cum into my mouth"

His words felt like a switch and the dam broke almost immediately, you didn't think you could ever cum like this, it felt impossible but he had done it somehow. He grabbed both of your thighs as you almost crushed his head between your legs, your fingers pulled onto his locks, lips quivered, both of them, the constant moan of his name made him feel like a god and he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to be your god.

He wanted you to worship him, his thoughts spiraled as he pictured you in dirty situations underneath him and then he felt thankful that he was the one with those filthy thoughts in his head about you because as much of a monster that he knew himself to be he also knew that you meant everything to him and he'd protect you all his life, other men would have destroyed someone as pure as you.

He wanted to do it too but not in a bad way.

He slurped on your juices until you had stopped dripping your desires into his mouth, he rubbed his drenched mouth over the side of your thighs to wipe off his face. As he looked up and you were still panting like a fucked out whore so he took out his phone from his pocket and you immediately placed your hands above your head to give him a pose, he took a picture from the waist above ofcourse.

You wanted to return the favor and as difficult as it was for him to deny you he did it anyway. He wanted you to stay afloat in that feeling, he wanted you to remember this just a little longer, after you showered and he washed his face he wanted to drive you somewhere.

"You trust me sweet buttons?" He asked you softly so you nodded.

You recognised the route, you didn't know why he was taking you there but you trusted him, you knew he'd never put you in harm's way.

So you allowed him to take you to Thor's place again. For what reasons, you didn't know just yet.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

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[wandafiction]

Realisations - Just Us Chapter 71

Warnings: Angst, Hurt, Talks Of Abusive Relationship, Talks of Trauma

Word Count: 4328

Series List | Chapter 70 | Chapter 72

================================

(Wanda PoV)

I look at my phone screen at the last message Y/n sent this morning, curled up on the bed as my own mind attacks itself as I think over the past 24 hours. I could hardly sleep last night, the bed felt so empty and I didn't have her warmth to keep me warm. It was cold, more so than normal. 

My eyes aimlessly wander around the bedroom, it's very plain and minimalist which is a little odd as a lot of the house is decorated. I also can't see any pictures of Sarah or Evie like I had expected to, especially in Y/n's bedroom. Then it hits me.

I sit up in bed and take a proper look around, I'm not in Y/n's room. I'm in a guest bedroom. That night me and the  boys stayed last week, me and her slept in this room. Why would we sleep in the guest bedroom? The answer lingers in the back of my mind but the dark thoughts of my wandering mind snuff it out quickly.

She has had so much going on this past month and a half, from her panic attacks to Vision and Steph, then how the news of her being a widow came out. My heart drops at a thought that has been lingering in the back of my mind since I found out about Sarah.

Is she ready for a committed relationship? 

A committed relationship where there are two teenage boys involved? 

She's told me she loves me and them, but what about what I did yesterday. What if what I did causes her to tip over the edge and she pulls away. What if she comes back today to break up with me? It wasn't just a petty fight. I said things that I can't possibly take back even if I tried my hardest too. I hurt her so deeply she wouldn't even let me hold her when we got home. 

I don't know what changed. She was so snuggly when we were in the aquarium after we talked, we were both ready to finally be completely open with one another. Me more than I ever have in my entire life. I want to be able to give her what she wants, I want to be the person she sees me as and not who I've always known myself to be.

I can't lose her. 

But, if she needs space and time to be able to sort her mental health out. Do something for her own sake, instead of putting everyone else first. If she needs help finding the light at the end of what I can only imagine is a very dark tunnel. If she needs my help everyday, but cannot allow herself to be helped. If she wants me to take a step back, stop being so overbearing and clingy. 

Then I will give her all the space and time she needs. I will show her how badly she can treat herself by showing her that she deserves to be number 1 for once. I will carry the flashlight and help guide her through it. I will be there to support her even when she pushes me away. Then I can take a step back, allow her to get back on her feet. I can slow down, enjoy the moments I have with her and take great care of what life has given me. 

My two beautiful boys.

And her. 

But I broke her and I don't know if she will want me anymore. God my mind was all over the place yesterday, well the whole week. Why couldn't I have just talked to her, broken my resolve of having to push my feelings away. She wants to know what I'm feeling, she wants to help me fight through whatever I go through. Yet I just can't seem to let her break down the walls that I have spent so long building, no one but Pietro knew how and he is laying in a hospital bed with tubes and wires everywhere. 

She called me Wanda yesterday. It broke me, but it broke me more knowing that I was the cause of my own hurt. 

Pietro would have called me out on my shit my by, telling me everything I needed to hear and not what I wanted to be told. He never minced his words telling me straight to my face with no fear of hurting me, because in the end he was always right. I unlock my phone, taking one last look at mine and Y/n's last message where we said 'I love you'. I go into my contacts and call the only person I know that can help. 

Nat: Hey sis! Why aren't you at work? Are you sick? 

Me: Uh, no I'm not sick. 

I think she can hear the tremble in my voice as I try not to cry.

Nat: What happened?

Me: We had a fight.

Nat: Is she home with you now?

Me: No, she left last night. She said she has to do something. I don't know where she is.

Nat: She left you after you had a fight! Like left you to sleep in the bed alone and went home?

Me: It's okay Nat I…..

Nat: No it's not okay. She left you after you had a fight, without resolving the issue. She left you alone Wanda. I'm not standing for it.

Me: Nat it's my fault.

Nat: I don't care who's fault it was, you don't leave the person you love after a fight.

Me: Nat stop! She….I…it was all my fault and I won't be surprised if she doesn't come back.

Nat: Don't say that Wanda. She will come back to you. What happened?

Me: A lot. Too much to say over the phone.

Nat: Where are you?

Me: At Y/n's house. Why? 

Nat: I will be there as soon as I can.

Me: Nat I can't ask you to leave work.

Nat: You're not asking and it isn't up for debate. Send me the address and I will be there.

Me: Okay. I really screwed up Nat. 

My voice barely above a whisper but I know Nat heard it because she lets out a small breath before speaking.

Nat: We all screw up Wanda.

Me: I don't know how to fix it.

Nat: We will figure it out together. Now send me the address I will see you soon. 

Me: See you soon. Love you sis. 

Nat: I love you too sis.

As we hang up, I choke out a sob. I don't want her to pity me and take my side like she did on the phone. She may be my best friend, more like a sister, but I can't have her pitying me. I need her to call me out on my shit, tell me what I should do. 

Then there's Y/n who I am worrying about, she hasn't texted me since this morning and it's scaring me. I don't know if she's safe, I don't know that she is okay, I don't even know where she is. However, I can't bombarded her with calls and messages because that's wrong, and she needs the space.

I can't lose her.

What if I'm too late and she is already gone?

I shake the thoughts out of my mind, but they remain lingering at the back like a slow torment. A storm is brewing in the deepest parts of my mind and I don't know how to protect myself from it.

To stop myself from falling into the rabbit hole of what ifs I pull myself out of bed. The same bed I had woken up in this morning alone, before taking the boys to school. The same bed that just doesn't feel safe and comforting without her next to me.

I shuffle along the carpeted floor to the small wardrobe in the room hoping there is something of Y/n's in there. To my relief there is a hoodie of hers in there, the only reason I know it's hers is because it smells like her. I don't wait another minute before putting it on, pulling the strings in the hood tightly so it tightens against my face. I put my sweatpants on then I put some fuzzy socks on. I bury my hands in the big open pocket at the front of the hoodie before making my way downstairs.

I start to make myself a cup of tea, not really fancying anything with high levels of caffeine in it. As the kettle starts to boil the water, I am pulled away from my tea making preparations by the doorbell. I look at the time on my phone, only 30 minutes has passed since the phone call with Nat. Wow she must have rushed here.

I make my way out of the kitchen to the front door, looking through the peephole to make sure it is actually Natasha. I sigh as I lean my forehead against the door, she looks worried. And take a deep breath before opening the door giving her a small smile.

"Hey." I pull the door open further, sliding out of the way to allow Nat in. Once the door closes she pulls me into a hug, leaning up to whisper in my ear.

"You're okay." I know it was her trying to be reassuring and it really didn't help, I buried my head into her neck as I shake my head.

"No, no I'm not. Neither is she. I fucked up Nat. So fucking badly. I don't know how to fix it." 

"Let's make a drink and we can talk." I nod into her neck, letting go of my hold on her smiling when her hands move to wipe my tears. 

"The kettles should be done. What are you drinking?" I usher Nat to follow me into the kitchen, her eyes bulging when she sees how big it is.

"I will take a tea please." She spins a full circle on her heels to take the whole room in. "It's a beautiful place you've got yourself here."

"Uhm, it's not ours. We aren't living together. This is her place. Her and Sarah's place." 

"Well that's something." I hum not really hearing Nat's words but once they register I hand her her now made tea with a questioning look.

"I just mean, you must mean a lot to her if she trusts you enough to show you this place. It's a constant reminder of the life she had planned, yet she has let you in. Let you see it for what it is. It's intimate really, with it being so personal and special to her."

"I sleep in the guest bedroom." Nat raises an eyebrow at me, I'm not quite sure what look she is giving me is.

"What did you sleep in the guest bedroom last night?"

"And last week." 

"Did she sleep with you though? Last week I mean." 

"Yeah." 

"Well I would do the same." 

"Do the same? What do you mean?" I lean against the counter opposite Nat who is sitting at one of the island's many chairs. 

"So I've said that she trusts you enough to show her into their home. Correct?" 

"Yes." 

"But she won't let you sleep in the master bedroom. Correct?" 

"Also yes. Nat what are you trying to get at?"

"She's not ready." 

"Not ready for what?" 

"Come know Wanda. I can't tell you all the answers, this is something you need to figure out. I'm just here to push you in the right direction." She takes a sip of her drink before sighing and looking up with sad eyes. 

"She has let you into her home. Her and Sarah's home. Meaning at one point or the other her and Sarah lived here. Planned to have a family here together." 

"Yes I know that."

"Wanda your being stupid. Really think about it. Who would have slept in the master bedroom." My heart drops through my ass.

"Her and Sarah." My voice barely a whisper. This is not why I asked Nat to come over, but I'm starting to see some things about me that I'm not liking.

"Exactly. Her and Sarah. Her and her wife. She isn't ready to have someone else in that bed. Let alone someone who I think she feels is replacing Sarah."

"I don't want to replace Sarah. I could never be Sarah." 

"Have you told her that?"

"I've told her she can talk about Sarah and Evie whenever she wants, that I'm always there for her." 

"Wanda you're not getting it." 

"Well you are not making any sense!" I slam my hand against the counter, frustrated more at myself for not being able to see what's right in front of me.

"Have you told her that you know you could never replace Sarah? That you don't want to replace Sarah! Have you asked her how she feels about you being in their home?" 

"No." I look down into my cup and my half drunk tea as I bite at my lip. 

"Wanda I know that you struggle with feelings. I know you struggle to have those big conversations. I know you struggle with what to say sometimes not wanting to hurt yourself, or anyone else in the process. But Y/n is different. She has been through so much in such a short amount of time. Her life went from one hell to another and another over and over again." 

I bite my lip trying to get the tears to stop falling as I listen to Nat. 

"She may not admit it Wanda, and maybe you just don't want to see it. But she is so much more broken then any of you would like to admit to the other. It's not just about the panic attacks, the PTSD or the dead wife Wanda. It's about everything that happened before, during and after that. She may say she is fine, but Wanda, she is struggling so much." 

"How could I not see it?"

"Because she didn't want you to, and you wanted to avoid having to talk. Really talk. You have both gone through your fair share of trauma, her more so than you but it does not invalidate that you went through shit to. Your shit has affected you in ways that cause you to build wall after wall that get harder to break down each time. Your trauma Wanda, is something that is holding you back from who you want to be when you're with her." 

"I don't want us to end."

"Then don't let it. She doesn't want it to end either I'm sure of it. You both have very different ways of dealing with things. But you need to put everything on the table, you need to make the first move. You may trust each other but until you both talk about how you move forward. Well then there is no safety net around you, trust without safety is like bungee jumping with a bit of string and hoping that it doesn't snap. You have to be ready to sacrifice a few of your walls, allow her to knock them down for you to be mentally in the right place to be in a relationship."

"You don't think I'm ready for something new? Nat we have been together nearly two months, we have said we love you to one another."

"Did you mean it when you said it? Or was it an in the moment thing that you let slip?" 

"Of course I mean it. I mean it every time I say it. I want her to know how much I love her everyday." I don't hesitate to argue back.

"Good because if she loves you the way I think she does, it would break her to know you don't mean your words. Saying that, if your love matches hers then you will be able to get through this. Together. You need each other to help you through. You need to look after each while also looking after yourself. Have you been to therapy recently?" 

"No, not for a few months."

"Well that's where you need to start. You need to speak to someone who is impartial to the situation, help them untangle the mess of wires in your brain that have been tangled for so long. You can't rely on just one person to do that for you. Y/n isn't a trained professional, she struggles to get her own brain to switch off let alone switch it off long enough to help switch yours off." 

"She always seemed so at ease and she talks to me so easily. I don't know why I can't do the same."

"She wears a mask Wanda, her smiles are fake, her laughter is not filled with joy as it should be." I bow my head realising now just how much I don't see. "But when she is with you it is all genuine. Wanda you are good for her just as she is good for you. Fight for her, but don't push her."

"Why can't I just open up. Talk to her. It would have made everything so much easier on the both of us."

"Wanda, she may wear a mask, hide how she is feeling. But you have built so many walls in the years of being with Vision that I think you don't even know how to start breaking them down yourself. That's why you need to go back to therapy, you need to be able to regain control of your mind before you commit yourself to helping Y/n. And she needs to do the same. And as for speaking with Y/n, start with small things. It doesn't have to be anything big. Her aim and my aim, our priority is making sure you are comfortable with who you are in your own skin. So start with the small things. Talk about how Vision always got you to do things you didn't want to do using the 'your my wife' card. Or how you are scared of bees yet they fascinate you so much you grow flowers just to see them pollinate." 

"Start with the small things?" 

"Exactly."

"How am I meant to start with the small things when we have so much to talk about today?" 

"Wanda, what did you actually say to her yesterday?" I stay quiet, shaking my head, fiddling with my rings. "Wanda."

"Yeah?"

"What exactly did you say to Y/n that caused her to spend the night elsewhere?" 

"I said she didn't know what it was like to be a mother." 

"Wanda." My stomach drops when I hear and see the disappointment on Nat's face.

"I know okay. It was a disgusting thing to say. And I can't take it back because I've said it now."

"Why did you say it?" Nat's tone is scarily calm, it's making me uncomfortable.

"I don't know."

"Well you must have some sort of idea otherwise you wouldn't have said it." 

"I said I don't know, okay! I have no fucking clue! I have never even thought those words would ever leave my lips, I have never even thought about them. So I don't know why I would!" 

"Well I don't know how to help you with this one if you want even admit it to yourself."

"Admit what?"

"I don't know because you won't tell me."

"Because I don't know myself Natasha! It's all so fucked up in here that I can't possibly think for long enough to try and get to the bottom of it."

"Well you need to figure it out because the excuse 'I don't know' doesn't fly with me and I'm pretty sure it won't fly with Y/n either. She has been nothing but kind, caring and welcoming to you and those boys, and you have practically chucked it in her face. You forgot about her past Wanda. It may have been for a split second, but you forgot and you said those words. I don't know how you will fix this if you can't admit to yourself why you said it. It's unforgivable Wanda."

"I know that. She hasn't forgiven me, in fact I don't want her to forgive me. I don't forgive me." 

"You don't want her to forgive you. Or is that you don't want to have to open up so it's easier to let her hold this against you then letting her break down your walls." 

"I…"

"Let me guess. I don't know." 

"Look, it's difficult for me, okay! Vision was never there. My parents moved away as soon as me and Pietro started our lives at university. Pietro is currently in a fucking coma, and Vision wasn't there for me! He never was! He never cared for me, he never looked after me when I was sick, never took me on dates! He never loved me the way I loved him, I was just a housewife in his eyes! So I stopped caring too! I built up my walls then reinforced them because I had no one! No one! Then I get into this new thing with the most amazingly talented and funny girl I've ever met and he thinks he has a say in my life! He told me he would take the boys away from me if I stayed in such a sinful relationship, he threatened not only me and Y/n. He threatened his own sons! He told me he would take me to court to get them taken away from me, pleading the fact that having two women bring up boys is not right and is not stable for them because they will grow up to be feminine! I...he...he planted the seed." 

I finally come to the realisation. 

I take in a sharp breath taking a step back as I crumble to the cold tiled floor, sliding myself down the counter. I pull my knees to my chest as I breakdown in front of Nat, my sobs echoing around the room as I try to control them to no avail. I hear the stool screech against the floor before seeing Nat join me on the floor as she wraps her arms around my body pulling me against her chest. 

"I've got you. You're okay Wanda, I have you." I grip onto her shirt, my knuckles turning white with the force. "That's what you have to explain to her, okay."

"Hmm?"

"Tell her what you just told me. She will understand Wanda, I know you're scared of allowing yourself to open up. But your relationship will burn to the ground if you're not open and honest with her about these things. So tell her what you just told me, okay?" 

"Okay." I mumble into her shirt as I try to slow down my breathing. 

"Now I'm mad at you for hurting her, I'm mad at her for leaving you last night but I think we both understand why. But I am livid at Vision, he is still causing you harm even after two years apart. You need to find a way to regain control of your life, don't let his words play on your mind for so long. You need to break down those walls you've built but build a protective barrier to protect yourself from Vision. He is a manipulative fucker who, if he steps out of line one more time, is going to have to deal with an angry Russian." 

"I need to talk to Y/n."

"You do. Where is she right now?" I shrug. "You don't know?"

"No. She still hasn't texted me. I'm worried Nat, what if something happened." 

"I'm sure she is fine Wanda."

"How can you know?"

"Because I have seen how much she loves you and love like that you don't let go. She will always find her way back to you."

"Thank you Nat."

"What for?"

"Being the voice of reason and actually calling me out for my shit. No one has done it since Pietro, so I always just shrugged it off and pretended like it didn't exist." 

"I will always call you out on your shit for however long you need me to. I am friends with both you and Y/n, you are a sister to me Wanda. I don't want either of you to get hurt, so if it means having a go at you or her then I will do so happily. Just don't bombarded her when she comes in, I think it's a tough day for her."

"What do you mean?" 

"Uh, nothing." She tries to brush it off by standing up and preparing to make a new set of drinks, but I'm quick to my feet as I look at her.

"No Nat, what do you know that I don't?" She huffs out a breath and bows her head.

"Do you remember the first time me and the girls met Y/n?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you remember me saying I recognised her from somewhere?" 

"Yeah she suggested that it was where she would visit Stark Tower but you said it was something else."

"Well I know where I've seen her before."

"Where?"

"It was an article back in 2017. It was titled. Sarah Stark marries a mystery woman. And there was a paparazzi photo of a brunette in a wedding dress leaving a venue with her arm wrapped through Y/n's arm." 

"Okay, why is that important?" I ask, highly confused about where this is going.

"Because the date of the wedding was the 18th of October 2017."

"What's the date today?" My bottom lip quivering when, not wanting to believe I hurt her at the worst possible I could have ever possibly done.

"It's the 18th."

"It's their anniversary?"

================================

[everythingpresley]

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 24

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Jessica Anderson is Elvis Presley's assistant and after months of working together, slowly something sparks between them. Friendship? Or is it more? [ Fem!Reader ]

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+), Slowburn

    ||     Word Count: 8,198

Author's note: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while but I hope this chapter will make it up! I just have to say it again... I missed you all sooo much!

Masterlist

Don't You Kiss Me Once or Twice - Chapter 24

Elvis’ POV

Leaves and twigs crunched under my boots as I walked through the freshly cut green grass, my index finger held tightly by a little boy with bright blond hair. He looked up at me with a beaming toothy smile, his ocean blue eyes shinning brilliantly under the harsh Memphis sun. I could feel this immense love radiating towards this little boy like he was my everything. 

“Momma!” He yelled, letting go of my finger and ran ahead of me. 

I looked up to see the love of my life in the distance sitting under our tree. The tree where we always sat under at Graceland.

Jess looked up from where she sat on the blanket and smiled softly at us. Butterflies erupted in my stomach seeing her sitting there with her belly prodding out. She was dressed in a white sundress, leaning back on the palms of her hands. Her dark hair glided gently with the light breeze in the air. She looked like a goddess in a white dress and swollen full with my second child. 

“Woah buddy!” I laughed, running after him and pulled him up in my arms when he launched himself at Jess “Careful! You’ll hurt baby sister.” 

“Sowwy Daddy.” He pouted adorably.

“Aww.” Jess cooed. 

“It’s okay.” I chuckled and kissed his head before gently placing him back on the ground. He walked forward and hugged Jess, without throwing himself on her stomach this time. Jess hugged him back, grinning and kissed his head before he took off running when he saw his ball in the distance.

“Hi beautiful.” I grinned down at her.

“Hi handsome.” She sighed, smiling softly. She looked tired and ready to give birth any day now but still as beautiful as ever.

I bent down and captured her lips with mine. I hummed against her super soft, swollen lips. I pulled away and sat behind her letting her lean back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her enormous stomach and rubbed it tenderly. 

“I love you.” I whispered in her ear. She shivered slightly from my breathe tickling the shell of her ear.

“Hmm. I love you too, Elvis.” She replied leaning her head on my shoulder “I can't wait till this baby is out.”

“I know, baby.” I chuckled and kissed her temple, both of us looking at our mini me running around with his ball. 

My perfect little family and I couldn’t wait till baby girl would get here. I wanted a little Jess running around, she’d be spoiled rotten that’s for sure. 

I blinked awake in my hotel room. I turned my head and looked at the alarm clock placed on the bedside table that indicated I had slept for two hours only. I forgot to pack my pills that Dr. Nick supplied me with and I dreaded the days to come without them or Jess, I know I won’t be getting any sleep.

This dream has haunted me ever since Jess left. I hate the sadness that creeps onto my chest when I would wake up and realize that that recurring dream was not my reality. In reality, I had just gotten to New York and Jess refused to talk to me. This dream should've been a clear cut sign that we’re meant to be together but I was stubborn and thought I was doing what's best for her. 

Everyday I would mourn this dream, mourn that life. Me and Jess, together with kids. I never realized how much I wanted kids until I got together with Jess and I can’t imagine having them with anyone else. 

Yesterday did not go as planned. I got there with a plan to win her back and ended up having a panic attack because I thought she had moved on. It broke me to think of her with someone else, happy. I wanted her to be happy but selfishly I wanted her to be happy with me and only me. 

When she held me and helped me with my panic attack, for the first time in two months I felt like I was breathing again, like the past two months I was suffocating without her. Having her so close felt like a breath of fresh air. It felt like I was whole again. Like I was a shell of a person and my soul had finally returned to my body.

I stayed afterwards just to see if she really had more people in her place. They seemed genuinely nice and good for her as friends, plus they were gushing about her as they walked out of the building so that made me like them even more. I was happy that she had people here. 

“Yes, Elvis. I want to forget we ever happened.” 

“In fact I want to erase the past two years out of my memory.”

Those words were on a constant repeat, I refused to believe her. Not after what Grace told me but still when she uttered them my heart shattered in pieces and I just wanted to cry right then and there. 

I could see the tears in her eyes when she said them, I wanted to rush over to her and just hug her tight, tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am. I hated seeing Jess cry, I hated that those tears were because of me. I hated myself. 

We were standing there under the illuminating full moon, both with tears in our eyes, love pouring out of us but not being able to be with one another because I’m an idiot. I don't know how to be in relationship, I screw everything up however, I’ll be damned if I let her slip through my fingers. 

Since she wouldn't talk to me I planned to stand outside her place until she’s ready to talk. I’m not giving up. Ever. The first morning also didn't go as planned, she threw the cup of coffee I got her in the trash and walked away from me so I decided to go bigger. 

Flowers! Who doesn't love flowers? Girls are crazy about them, so that’s what I did. 

First, I contacted Jess’ super and asked him if he can meet me at Jess’ apartment in a few hours. I told him I’m her boyfriend and I lost my keys. 

Second, I went to my hotel’s front desk (I was staying there under a fake name but I think they recognize me because they sent up a bottle of champagne and chocolates to my room when I checked in) and asked them for the best flower shop in the city. 

It was quiet a trip since Jess didn't live in the best area, it didn't have the best shops. 

I got 12 different vases filled with sunflowers, Jess’ favorite flowers and paid one of the guys to help me lug them into Jess’ apartment. I ended up roping her Super in helping us set up flowers around her apartment. 

How romantic is this? Very. It will leave her pussy pulsating for me that’s for sure. 

After I thanked the guys for helping me I scoured the apartment for any evidence that a guy has been staying here. First step was the bedside tables, one was empty and one had all of Jess’ stuff so so far so good. Then I checked the bathroom for any male products, shampoo, shaving creams etc. Clear, thank god. 

This plan ended up backfiring, she was mad that I broke into her apartment and ended up tossing one of the bouquets at me. 

I need a new plan.

I didn't get why she got mad about the apartment, I’ve seen her naked more times than I can count. We didn't keep anything from each other and she lived in my room for months so I’m not really invading her privacy.

If I’m not thinking about ways to get Jess back, the guys back in Memphis keep calling me. What I didn’t expect was for Dad to find out where I am. Someone’s about to get fired once I find out who told him.

“Elvis. You’ve got to come back to Memphis.” 

“How did you find out where I am?” I asked, frowning.

“Credit card charges.” Dad replied.

Shit. I did not think of that. 

“I’m not coming back.” I replied, running my free hand through my hair. I was laying in bed waiting for when Jess gets back from work so that I can go bother her a bit. 

“Son, you signed a bunch of contracts agreeing to perform. If you don’t then we’ll be sued.”

“Then let’em sue me.” I rolled my eyes. I didn't give a shit, my biggest mission right now was getting Jess back. 

I think food is the way to go, Jess loves her food. My little foodie. I smiled as I grabbed her some coffee and stood outside her apartment. I checked my watch because she always walked out at 7:00AM on the dot. It was now 7:01. Weird. 

Just as I checked my watch again she came rushing out dressed in a pencil skirt, a blouse and a suit jacket. She looked so hot, like a sexy librarian. 

I got to walk her to work and she even drank the coffee I got her which made me feel giddy. I was also checking out her ass the entire time, the skirt was perfectly tight. I hoped no one from work checks out her ass. 

We were headed on the right track, she was talking to me. 

Joe Esposito called me a few days after my dad called me.

“E.P!” 

“Hey Joe.” I replied.

“What the hell did you say to your dad? He’s pissed and so is the Colonel.” 

“I just told him I’m not coming back anytime soon.” I replied.

“It’s been a week EP. That’s the longest we haven’t seen you recently.” Joe replied “Look I know you took it hard when Jess left but everyone is lost without you.”

“Joe.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair “I feel lost without her. I’ve put everyone else first all the time. I’m doing this for me.”

Joe was quiet for a while “You two do belong together. I hope you two find the happiness you both deserve.”

“Thanks Joe.” I replied. 

Everyone knows Jess got a job in New York and now I guess everyone knows I’m in New York so Joe probably put two and two together. 

I decided to call her Super up again to open the door to her apartment. This time I decided to create two copies of her keys just for me. I made sure to bring all of her cowboy hats and boots I got her for Christmas and placed them in her living room before I walked into her bedroom and shoved a photo of us back in Hawaii on the mirror. If she removes it then she’ll see the note behind.

Best day ever with the love of my life. 12/01/1972.

Once I made those copies I always double checked that she locked her door properly, she lived in kind of a shitty area. There were some sketchy people who would walk past her building. I smiled proudly every time her door was properly locked with the deadbolt.

Good girl.

On her day off we went for a walk in central park and she actually laughed and smiled. Every time I heard her laugh I could feel my heart flutter at the sound. When I dropped her off at the apartment words just flew out of my mouth without even thinking. I told her that I was gonna get her back and I was gonna marry her which in turn made her mad at me. Or was she sad? I saw a hint of tears in her eyes before she pushed the door to her building open and rushed in without saying a single word. 

I thought girls loved hearing those words, maybe she wasn’t in love with me as Grace said.

She continued to ignore me after that and didn't even acknowledge my existence. I was starting to miss her. I tried everything. That entire week I tried bribing her with cookies, coffee, banana bread, chocolate, cake etc. Nothing worked. 

I missed her so much that one night when I was checking that her door was locked, I noticed that the deadbolt wasn't attached properly, so I took that as an opportunity to see her. I slowly walked into her apartment and headed towards her bedroom. Gently, I pushed the door to her bedroom open and tiptoed to her side of the bed. I looked down at her and longed to be asleep by her side. Longed to be cuddled up next to her. Longed to kiss her good night and play with her soft hair. 

How can someone be this beautiful as she snored softly. I slowly reached for her cheek and caressed her softly, not wanting to wake her up but she did. And boy was she mad. 

It seems like all my plans end up backfiring and I only made her angrier. I was shit at asking for forgiveness. 

She continued to ignore me until I had the genius idea to get her McDonald’s. Her favorite. I know Jess and I know she can’t say no to McDonald’s. It was pouring rain when she got back, she took the food from me and went inside. Jess took pity on me and decided to invite me in.

My heart was racing as I ran up the stairs, taking them two steps at a time. 

I’m gonna kiss her. I’m gonna kiss her. I’m gonna kiss her. 

Every day since I got to New York I was waiting for the chance to kiss her but I didn’t want her to slap me or get mad at me. 

I needed to calm down, I don’t want to get kicked out as soon as I enter the apartment. 

I walked in once Jess opened the door, my knee shaking as if I was on stage again. Her cheeks were slightly flushed probably from the steaming hot showers she always took. Her hair was still wet and she was dressed in a bathrobe. I was hoping she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

I cupped my knee once I sat down on the couch to keep it from shaking. 

I needed to feel her lips on mine. I missed them. I needed her scent to take over all my senses as I do. I gulped anxiously. Would I be able to make a move? Would she kiss me back if I do?

We sat together and ate, silence then took over. I felt like that was an opening for me to start apologizing for ruining us. That’s when Jess started crying. Tears quickly weld up in my eyes and the feeling of hurt shattered the pieces of my already broken heart because I hated seeing her cry. 

I gulped, blinking back my own tears and reached for her. I cupped her soft, wet cheeks and kissed the tears away. I loved being able to be this close to her once again. My heart swelled when she didn't pull back or push me away. 

I inched towards her lips, staring directly into her green eyes. My beautiful green eyed girl. Those green eyes that I wanted to stare at for the rest of my life, those eyes that captured my heart the moment they held my blue ones. The green in her eyes were intensified by the redness surrounding them from crying.

“Can I kiss you?” I asked her with my stomach in my throat and tears in my eyes. What if she says no, what if she pushes me away? I wanted to just feel her lips even for a second. 

She nodded, her lips in a pout. My heart soared but I was still holding my breath as I brushed my lips on hers. I kissed her gently and slowly as if any fast movement would spook her “I missed your lips.” I sighed against her lips, finally being able to breathe. 

She’s my breath of fresh air. I can finally breathe again, like I was suffocating for months without her. 

I still can’t believe how fast and hard I fell for this girl. I can’t believe I’m willing to sacrifice everything I’ve built for her and I couldn’t give a crap about it either. Because two months without her was miserable, I can’t imagine a lifetime.  

I needed her to take me back. I needed to see her as my wife. I needed to see her be the mother of my kids. And I needed to grow old with her by my side. 

She wanted me to keep kissing her, she didn't want me to stop and I definitely did not want to stop so I slowly tugged on her bathrobe belt and untied it. Blood rushed down as soon as I saw that she wasn't wearing anything underneath her robe. 

“Oh lord.” I whispered. I paused taking her all in and threw a quick prayer to all her glory.

Jess gripped my shirt and pulled me down to continue kissing me. 

I kissed down her neck, inhaling her sweet, freshly showered scent. I bit on her neck and sucked on it. She moaned as I bit her shoulder. She’s probably going to be so mad once she sees the marks I made on her body, remembering her pinching me when I tried to give her a hickey. Oh how I missed those days. Being within a few feet away from her at all times and now I’m nowhere near to her, nowhere near to her heart.

In the meantime Jess was eagerly unbuttoning my pants. 

I was finally home. Inside her. My home. I couldn't help but cry once again as I thrusted in her. This felt like a dream, it felt unreal that we were in this position which we’ve been in hundreds of times before but both of us silently crying. Tears streaming down both our faces with lust, sadness and heartbreak. It felt overwhelming. I did not close my eyes for a second, scared I would wake up and this would be another dream. She did look like a dream withering underneath me. Her bright green eyes on mine the entire time like she also couldn’t believe I was here either. 

I collapsed on top of her, placing my head on her chest like I did every night when I slept with her. Her heart was pounding underneath my ear and it felt comforting to hear the steady beat of her heart. My favorite sleeping position, in her arms. I squeezed my eyes shut when she wrapped her arms around me. 

I moved my head and placed my chin on her chest “I lo-“ I wanted to tell her how much I loved her but she quickly placed her palm over my lips, stopping me from saying the words out loud. 

“Don’t.” Jess replied and that was when we finally spoke about everything and my heart broke all over again when she said she needed to think especially after I told her how I felt and what went on, that I never meant those stupid words. 

I told her that I love her and she said it back in past tense.

“All I did was love you.” 

It broke my heart seeing her so heartbroken as she said those words.

This can’t be it. She’ll take me back, I know she will even if it takes her weeks, months or years.

Jess’ POV

I cried the whole night after Elvis left. I wasn’t planning on kissing him let alone having full blown sex on my couch. But the things he said, his reasons for breaking my heart confused me. On one hand my heart swelled that he did this out of love and his genuine selflessness for wanting me to achieve my dreams.

He loved me. 

He said he loves me. 

How am I supposed to let him go now? It was already hard enough but now knowing his reasons and knowing that he loved me the entire time sent my heart and mind to battle. 

“I’ll follow you to wherever it is you want to go to because you’re my home, Jess.” Elvis said as he left.

I’m his home. That made me ball my eyes out even more knowing that I provided that comfort to him as he did to me. I always felt safe, loved and at peace when I was in his arms or really him in my arms since he always loved to sleep on top of me with his head on my chest. I was now realizing just how much he loved me, I was so stupid to doubt it. I was so stupid to think it was one sided. We loved each other so much that we were willing to gut our own hearts to give the other person an ounce of happiness. 

I got myself up from crying on the floor by the kitchen and went to shower once again, the sun was already starting to peak through. I needed to wash Elvis’ scent off and the stickiness that remained on my thighs. 

After showering once again and getting into some comfy pjs I headed to bed, my head pounded from all the crying. I think I might have taken a time machine back to two months ago when I had just arrived to New York with the amount of crying I cried last night. I wanted to give him a second chance, I know he’s really bad at relationships so I was scared to get hurt once again. 

I tossed and turned in bed and eventually gave up and got up to make myself some coffee instead. I cleaned up the leftover wrappers from the McDonald’s we had and cleaned around the apartment in my pjs. Then I went over to organize my vanity but nothing would keep Elvis out of my mind especially when I walked over to my vanity and spotted the picture he had hung up on my mirror of him and I kissing in Hawaii.

I sighed and for the first time ever I pulled the picture off. Not to throw it away but to take a closer look at us. I held it in my hands and frowned down at the picture. Oh who am I kidding I love this man so much. I gulped and willed myself not to cry again. 

I threw the picture on top of my vanity upside down. Out of the corner of my eye I saw writing in black. I furrowed my eyebrows and grabbed the pictures again reading the writing that was in Elvis’ handwriting. 

Best day ever with the love of my life. 12/01/1972.

Here come the tears again. I placed the picture on my chest and clenched my eyes shut. He said I’m the love of his life and that was another hit to my heart because I know he’s mine. I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the way I love Elvis. My heart beats for this man. My fear was the only thing stopping me from sprinting over to his hotel and taking him back and kissing the crap outta him. 

The sun was fully out by now it was almost 10AM. I peeked through my window, my heart hammering in my chest because for a split second I was afraid he wasn’t going to be there, that he might have given up. As I peeked I spotted Elvis taking his usual spot, leaning against the lamppost with a takeaway coffee cup in his hand. He had just gotten there and I hoped he at least got some sleep. 

Screw my mind I needed to be around him, I wasn’t about to take him back but I just craved to be close to him right now.

I quickly headed for my closet and threw on a white sundress and a matching white headband with my black converse. I gulped the rest of my coffee and jogged down the stairs.

As I pushed the door open, Elvis looked up and smiled softly. I smiled timidly back and walked towards him.

“Hi.” 

“Hey.” He smiled bigger, his eyes scanning me head to toe “I don’t know why I never told you this but I fucking love it when you wear a sundress and a headband.” 

I could feel a blush creeping up on my cheeks “Thanks.” 

Seeing me blush made his smile transform into a full grin.

“Did you get any sleep?” I asked, taking in his face. He certainly did not. His eyes were bloodshot and he had bag underneath his eyes. 

He shook his head no. 

“Do you wanna go get breakfast at this little spot down the road?” I asked him.

“You wanna have breakfast with me?” He asked quietly, I bet he was confused about us moving forward after the conversation we had last night. 

“Yeah.” I shrugged “I missed you.” I whispered.

“I missed you too.” He replied. 

We sat down at one of the tables that were on the sidewalk since it was sunny unlike last night when it was pouring rain. The waitress brought over the menus and placed them in front of us and poured coffee into our mugs. She smiled and then frowned looking at Elvis.

“I’m sorry… are you Elvis Presley?” She asked, stuttering slightly, getting nervous to be around Elvis. 

“Ah. No, I’m from New Jersey actually and I get that all the time.” Elvis said using a New York accent as opposed to his country accent. 

I picked up the coffee mug to hide the smile that was spreading on my face. I wanted to laugh at him trying to do a New York accent. 

“Oh.” The waitress shook her head and chuckled “I’m sorry but you do look a lot like him.”

“I know!” Elvis chuckled “That’s how I got my girlfriend over here.”

I chuckled and lowered my mug back onto the table “Oh yeah. I had the biggest crush on Elvis Presley and when a new guy joined my workplace and when he looked just like Elvis, I just had to make the first move.” I said, wanting to laugh. 

“She was all over me.” Elvis grinned wiggling his eyebrows at me “Kept asking me out until I caved and said yes.”

“Hmm.” I grinned “Now you can’t live without me.”

He shook his head “No, I can’t.” He said softly, dropping the act. 

“Well, you make a cute couple. Let me know once you’re ready.” The waitress smiled softly and left our table. 

“Out of all the places you chose to be from, you chose New Jersey?” I chuckled.

Elvis shrugged “I have no idea, I panicked!” he laughed.

“And that accent.” I said and started laughing.

“Hey! My accent was great!” He starts laughing with me.

I wiped the tears that escaped from laughing “It was, it was.” I lied.

“Don’t lie to me now!” 

I got a breakfast burrito while he got a Spanish omelet as always. 

“Your burrito looks good.” He said after he finished his eggs.

I wiped my mouth with a napkin “It’s delicious, you wanna have a bite?”

He looked like a shy little kid asking for food, it was so cute. He nodded.

I picked up the burrito and was handing it to him but instead of taking it from my hand he moved his head closer. 

Oh he wanted me to feed it to him? 

I edged closer in my chair and he took a big bite from the burrito that was still in my hand.

“Hmm.” He nodded, liking it but then he frowned.

“What?” I asked him, placing the burrito back on my plate.

“There’s something mushy.” He replied with his mouth full.

“Oh that’s just the avocado.” 

“Oh.” He replied and continued chewing. He hated certain textures of food but he liked the burrito so much he ordered one for himself. 

We just randomly started walking around in silence, not really talking about anything specific. Definitely not talking about what happened last night. Not us having sex and not about the confessions we made to one another.

“Flower for your lady?” An older man with a bouquet of flowers walked by selling red roses.

“Yes, I’ll have one.” Elvis smiled.

“Ah, no need.” I grabbed Elvis’ arm shaking my head “I think I got a lifetime of flowers from you.” I told him pointedly, reminding him of the amount of flowers he got me.

“One more wouldn’t hurt.” The man replied, grinning. 

I smiled and reached into my pocket and pulled out a dollar, handing it to the man and taking a rose from him before giving it to Elvis “Here. From me to you.”

Elvis grinned taking the rose from my hand “I’ve never actually received flowers before.”

“Even men should receive flowers.” The man said, tipped his head and left.

“Now I know why girls love getting flowers.” Elvis said as we continued walking.

I smiled softly fighting every instinct to reach over to kiss his cheek. 

We walked towards the park and by then it was already noon. We sat under one of the trees and I could feel one of us wanting to talk about what happened and where do we go from there. I was scared to have this conversation but how long till Elvis has to leave, I don’t believe he’ll be here forever and I don’t want him to halt his entire life just to wait for me. 

“We need to talk about last night.” I said in a low voice hoping he wouldn't hear me but he was sitting right next to me so he obviously heard me.

“Yeah.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Where do we go from here?” I asked looking out at the lake.

“I don’t know Jess. It’s up to you.” He replied “But I do know is that you’re my best friend and the love of my life and I’m so sorry it took me losing you to actually tell you how I feel about you.” He said looking down at his hands as he twirled the rose in his hands.

I gulped “I want to be with you. I really do but-“ I started but he shook his head and stood up. I looked up at him with a frown on my face.

“Before you say anything. Can we just pretend we’re together right now and none of that happened.” He said.

I think he was scared that I was finally closing the door between me and him but that was the farthest thing from the truth. I wasn’t trying to completely close this chapter, I wanted to put some boundaries until I feel comfortable and safe enough to trust that he wouldn't break my heart again.

I sighed “Okay.”

“Dance with me.” He said, placing the rose on the grass and extended his hand out to me.

“There’s no music.” I chuckled looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. 

“We don’t need music.” He smirked.

“Very romcom of you Mr. Presley.” I grinned and placed my hand in his. He pulled me up to stand and wrapped an arm around my waist while keeping my hand in his, placing it on his chest.

“You said it yourself. Many movie magic happened here.” Elvis chuckled. 

“People are looking at us.” I whispered, shoving my face into his chest.

“Let them.” Elvis chuckled. 

I was slightly embarrassed to be dancing in the middle of Central Park with no music but as we swayed together everything around us just melted and it was just Elvis and me. Him with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I loved being in his arms despite feeling super warm due to the harsh, noon sun. I didn't mind hugging him close to me. 

Elvis started humming gently in my ear then started singing softly “Just pretend. I’m holding you and whispering things soft and low.”

I closed my eyes and just focused on his deep, rich baritone voice singing low in my ear “And think of me, how its gonna be. Just pretend I didn’t go.”

I’ve never heard this song before but it was beautiful and it was like he was singing this to me, about us, about our situation. 

“If I knew it then, I’d be back again. So just pretend I’m right there with you. And I’ll come flying to you. All my crying, Lord it’s true.”

“I will hold you and love you again but until then… we’ll just pretend.”

“But now I know it was wrong to go. I belong here by your side.”

I pulled my head away from his chest and looked up at him “What’s this song?”

“You like it?” He asked.

“I love it, it’s beautiful.” I whispered, taking in his beautiful features. God, I really did miss his handsome face. 

“It’s a new song I just recorded. When I heard it, I-I just had to record it for the new album. Reminded me of us.” He whispered the last sentence. 

I shoved my face back into his chest. He chuckled because he knew I didn’t know how to respond to that and kissed the top of my head before placing his chin over my head and continued swaying. 

“I have a song to sing for you.” I said pulling my face away from his chest to look at him once again.

“What?” he chuckled.

“Well, Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy, Miss Clawdy. Girl you sure look good to me.” I giggled as I sang it, for some reason I just really loved this song and it kind of felt like our song. 

He chuckled and shook his head at me. 

“But please don’t excite me baby.” We sang together “I know it can’t be me.” 

We laughed shaking our heads at each other. I loved pretending like we’re a couple again. 

I pinched his arm remembering the hickeys I saw on my shoulder and chest when I showered, thankfully it was covered by my sundress. 

“Ouch!” He frowned, taking a step back from me and looked at me with confusion “Oh, you saw the hickeys?” He grinned.

“Yes, I saw the hickeys!” I slapped his arm. 

“I was gonna say sorry but I’m not actually.” He laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back into him.

“You’re so annoying.” I grumbled.

“Every time I walk through Central Park I really get the urge to go kayaking on the lake.” I told him, pointing at the people kayaking.

“Let’s do it.” Elvis replied and dropped his arm from my waist and took my hand in his, pulling me towards the lake and I didn't protest. 

What I didn't tell him was I never went on it because it was always couples kayaking together and every time I wanted to do it, I imagined me and him doing it together. I felt like it would be wrong to do it without him.

We got on the kayak, sat opposite one another and paddled out to the middle of the water.

I smiled softly at him. 

He smiled back and reached forward to fix my headband “You know since we’re pretending we’re together again. That means I can kiss you whenever I want.” He raised a brow, gauging my reaction.

“That is true.” I smirked. 

He grinned and etched forward, I did the same and met him halfway. He kissed me softly but jerked forward all of a sudden which caused the kayak to rock.

“Wow.” I chuckled and held onto the kayak. 

Elvis grinned mischievously and gripped the kayak on either side.

“No.” I told him and shook my head knowing what he wanted to do. 

He laughed and threw his weight left and right causing the kayak to rock on the water. I gasped, my eyes widening. 

“Elvis!” I laughed and placed my hands around his shoulders to stop him from moving “Stop!” 

The guy who was in charge of the kayaks whistled “No rocking the boat!” He yelled.

Elvis laughed and stopped “Sorry!”

“Why?” I asked him “Why do you do that?”

“I just love scaring you.” He chuckled. 

I rolled my eyes with a huge smile on my face, it really felt like old times. 

We paddled around for a while before stopping again.

“I wish I had a camera with me.” Elvis said. 

I nodded and threw my head back, closing my eyes to soak up the sun when Elvis started rocking the kayak again. My eyes snapped open when we tipped to the side and were fully plunged into the water. I held my breath and shot out of the water. Once I was out I looked around for Elvis seeing him pop out.

He looked at me feigning innocence but was biting down on his lip to stop himself from laughing.

I looked at him and wanted to pretend that I was angry but I couldn’t help but laugh. Once I did Elvis joined in. 

“I lost my headband!” I said and splashed him.

“Oh no!” He said sarcastically and laughed, not really caring. 

“Are you two okay?” The guy who gave us the kayaks paddled towards us.

“Yes.” We replied and he helped us get onto his kayak before paddling back while the other guy flipped our kayak upright and roped it with him.

“You’re both not allowed to use the kayaks ever again.” The guy said “There’s also a fee if the kayak was damaged.”

“It was an accident.” Elvis replied.

“Bro.” The guy frowned. Elvis frowned at being called bro, he hated it “I saw you rocking it back and forth several times.” 

“Okay fine.” Elvis rolled his eyes, we didn't really care that we were banned from using the kayaks ever again “Do you have any towels?”

The guy huffed and threw a towel at Elvis “Just one.”

Elvis shrugged and wrapped the towel around my shoulders. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms, over the towel “Are you cold?”

“Should’ve thought of that before you threw her in the water.” The guy murmured to himself as he checked on the kayak to make sure there weren't any damages. 

“No, I’m fine.” I replied, ignoring the guy. 

I wiped myself down before removing the towel and wrapping it over Elvis’ shoulders.

“Come here.” He said making space for me so that we can both be wrapped by the towel. We walked towards the tree we were previously sitting at and sat down. I sat between his legs, the towel wrapped around the both of us.

I leaned back into his chest and something hard dug into the middle of my spine. I frowned and turned my head, over my shoulder “There’s something digging into my back.”

“Oh that’s my necklace. The one you got me.” He replied. I turned between his legs and face him.

He dropped the towel and pulled the necklace from under his shirt, the cross necklace I got him for Christmas.

“You still wear it?” I asked with a small smile on my face.

“Of course.” He looked at me like I had two heads “Why would I remove it?”

“Because we aren’t together.” I replied.

“Yeah I wasn’t trying to erase you from my memory… like someone.” He said giving me a pointed look.

“Hey!” I frowned, pouting “You broke my heart. I didn't break your heart, you broke your own heart.”

He hummed and nodded “Fine. That’s true. But I love this necklace, I can’t take it off.”

“You weren't wearing it last night.” I replied, remembering when we had sex. I would remember if he was wearing it because it would’ve definitely hit my face if he was. 

“Yeah because it was at night and you live in a crappy area. If I were to get mugged I wouldn’t want to lose this necklace.” He replied.

I rolled my eyes “My area is not that bad!” 

“Ooookay Jess.” He chuckled rolling his eyes. 

I reached my hand for the necklace and lifted it up from his chest to inspect it. I flipped it around and saw an engraving that wasn’t there when I got it for him. 

Jessica P.

“Jessica P?” I asked, looking up at him.

He smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck “Jessica Presley.”

I could feel the butterflies erupting in my stomach and my heart practically jumping out of my chest.

“I did it the week you left. I didn't think I’d see you again and I just wanted to see your name with my last name.” He shrugged, his cheeks bright red in embarrassment. 

I smiled softly and cupped his cheeks, kissing him gently. He smiled against my lips, his shoulders dropping as if he was melting into the kiss. 

“I have to say.” Elvis said and pulled back, his hands on my hips while my hands were still cupping his cheeks “Jessica Presley sounds way better than Jessica Anderson.” 

I chuckled and shook my head at him. 

“You’re not disagreeing!” He pointed and poked my nose. 

“Shut up.” I laughed and pushed his hand away from my face. 

We were still slightly wet as we walked back to my apartment after handing the towel back to the guy. We stood outside my apartment and looked at each other.

I took a step towards him and cupped his cheeks, kissing him once again. He gripped my hips and kissed me back. The kiss was filled with want and need. 

I pulled back and pressed my forehead against his, snapping my eyes shut.

“Why did that feel like a goodbye kiss?” He whispered.

I opened my eyes, pulling back and shook my head “It wasn’t.”

“Are you sure?” He frowned.

I smiled reassuringly and fisted my hand in his shirt, pulling him to me and slammed my lips on his. He grinned against my lips and kissed me back. 

“You wanna come up?” I asked him.

“Yes!” He grinned “But let me go to my hotel first, shower because I feel disgusting and get fresh clothes.”

“Okay.” I smiled and kissed him again before going into my apartment building.

I was practically skipping up the steps to my apartment. I was giddy and over the moon because I couldn't wait for him to come back here and I would tell him I’m willing to give us another chance. He meant the world to me and I loved him. Life is short and I hated not being with him. 

I showered as fast as possible and as I got of the shower in my bathrobe I heard my landline ring. I rushed over and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey baby.” Elvis sighed.

“Hi!” I grinned.

“Hi.” He chuckled “Just wanted to let you know that I’m gonna be a bit late okay?”

I frowned and shook my head even though he couldn't see me “Yeah! Sure, don’t worry about it.”

“Wait up for me okay? I won't be too late.” He said.

“That’s fine. See you in a bit.” I said and hung up after he said goodbye. 

I hoped he wouldn't be too late because I was getting antsy. I was prancing around the apartment waiting for him then I decided to play music. 

About an hour and a half later Elvis finally showed up as the sun was setting. 

I was on the couch, the music was no longer playing and I was just staring at the TV when I heard him knock.

“Hey.” I smiled gently.

“Hi!” He grinned and cupped my cheeks, slamming his lips on mine.

I kissed him back and placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed him back gently. 

“What’s wrong?” He frowned.

“Come inside.” I pointed to the living room with my head. 

Once he stepped inside I shut the door. 

“Okay, you’re scaring me. You look not as happy as I left you.” He said looking at me with a frown on his face. 

“We need to talk.” I cringed.

“Oh fuck.” He groaned “Jess-“

“No, no. Just sit down.” I said tried giving him a reassuring smile.

“If this was about me being late-“

“It’s not.” I replied and took his hand in mine and pulled him toward the couch “Sit.” I pulled him down next to me. 

I was silent for a second because this was very conflicting, I didn't want to do it.

“Jess?” 

“I’m gonna cut to the chase.” I gulped “You need to go back to Memphis.”

His jaw dropped and his eyes widened “W-what? W-what the heck happened in the hour I was gone?” 

“You need to go, Elvis.” I sighed and clenched my eyes shut while squeezing his hand that was still in my hand “You need to go or you’ll be bankrupt especially if they sue you.”

He groaned and threw his head back on the couch “Who told you?” 

“Your dad.” I replied. 

1 hour ago

After I hung up on Elvis and got dressed in jeans and a shirt I heard a knock come from my front door. I furrowed my brows because Elvis just told me he’ll be late.

I peeped through the peephole and saw Vernon Presley of all people. What the heck?

I quickly unlocked the door and swung it open “Vernon?”

“Jess.” He smiled. 

“Umm hi.” I gave him a confused smile.

He moved forward and pulled me into a hug. 

Oh. Okay. I hugged him back and welcomed him in.

“You’re really missed in Graceland.” He said as he took a seat on my couch. 

“I miss you guys too.” I smiled.

I wanted to ask what the heck he was doing here but I didn't want to be rude. 

“My son has been in New York for almost 3 weeks.” He said.

“Yes.” I replied.

“And he says he’s not coming back until he gets you back.” Vernon continued. 

I didn't reply because I didn't know what to say. Yes? I know. He’s been outside my apartment for the past 3 weeks. 

“You’re the only one that can convince him to come back. We need him to come back, he has plenty of shows lined up for the next two weeks and if he doesn't fulfill them then they’ll sue us for canceling. Jess, we need the money. I don't know how much they’ll sue for, they could bankrupt us.” Vernon continued. 

Present time

“So while the Colonel was in my hotel room trying to convince me to come back, Daddy was here telling you to convince me to go back?” Elvis asked.

“Yes. Wait, that’s why you called me to say you were gonna be late?”

“Yeah.” Elvis sighed.

“Jess.” He shook his head “I-I’m not going.”

“Elvis, you have to.”

“No. I’m not leaving. Not without you. I’m not dropping everything to go on the road for two weeks.”

“What’s everything?” 

“You don’t get it do you? You- you’re my everything and I finally have you back.” He clenched his jaw in frustration.

“Honey.” I said and ran a hand through his hair, pushing some of his hair behind his ear “It’s okay. It’s just two weeks.”

“Come with me then.” He gripped my knee.

“I-I can’t Elvis. I have my job, I can’t just take off for two weeks.” 

He gulped “I went through 2 months without you-“

“We can do two weeks.” I replied, not really because I’m gonna miss him so much but he has to go. 

“No.” He shook his head and go on his feet, starting to pace around my apartment. 

“Hey.” I got up, stood in front of him and cupped his cheeks “We can do two weeks, okay?”

“So are we back together? If we’re back together then why don’t you just quit your job? You said that I’m your dream right? That you don’t want this anymore.”

“I can’t just jump right back in Elvis. I can’t quit my job and follow you, we need to take this slow. You really hurt me and I know you did it for the right reasons but the way you did it was completely wrong. You need to learn how to communicate with me or else this won’t work.” I said and caressed his cheeks “So, Go. Go and in two weeks when you’re back we’ll have this conversation. About us and our future together, okay?” I asked and pressed my forehead against his. 

He screwed his eyes shut, placing his hands over mine that were still cupping his cheeks. 

“You’ll wait for me, right?” He asked “I’ll be back in two weeks.”

“I will honey.” I smiled softly and captured his lips in a sweet and tender kiss to reassure him. 

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[no-where-new-hero]

Fire and Hemlock Readalong: Day 24 (Part 4, Ch. 5) 

…in which Polly learns some family history.

This is the big countdown to the finale, and always the part where a melancholy falls over me, for some reason. Part of it is sadness that the book is going to end—part of it is the unique quietude of this novel’s arc. The urgency of the moment is that of preparing for a fight or facing off in a battle of wits (which I guess is what will happen) as Polly hurries back to Middleton, but at the moment, the biggest thing you feel is—will Polly be able to save her own childhood? Because, in effect, that’s what’s happening. She’s saving Tom, but she’s also validating the experiences of her own life and the choices she took to bring her here in order to close that chapter and open the next one.

But that will come later. At the outset, we get a bit of narration on the Thomas the Rhymer/Tam Lin ballads. We’ve been hearing echoes of them, of course, with the epigraphs, but now DWJ explicitly ties the characters and happenings to Laurel. We learn that Tom was indeed gifted by Laurel, like True Thomas, so that the things he invented came true, and that would have been connected to the sad pictures Laurel intended to give him. Polly changed the course of both happenings by involving herself in the make-believe and by changing the pictures, both of which will end up helping Tom, though currently all seems lost.

Polly has enough of her own problems, though, because as soon as she returns to Granny’s house, she learns that her own family has been caught up in Laurel’s schemes because her grandfather—Granny’s husband and Reg’s father—was also one of Laurel’s. Granny’s involvement in everything comes into the open here—not that it was necessarily any big secret—but it again shows DWJ working on both a magical and a very human level. On the everyday level, we see that she has been looking out for Polly in terms of Tom the way she had been looking after her with regards to Ivy and Reg. What’s mildly redemptive for Tom is how Granny confirms that he didn’t seem to be aware of using Polly to the extent that we know he was, and he seems to have regretted it—thus leading to his decision to push her away at the Middleton Fair. Shame had entered the picture for him, too.

On the magical level, though, Granny acts as a keeper of memory, like Tan Audel in her powers: “It’s laid on them not to say, nor me to remember, but I keep what I can in my head by living where I do.” As long as Granny can remember, then she can exert some kind of moral balance to get back at Laurel for taking her husband away. There almost becomes something fated or hereditary about Polly’s involvement with Tom and Laurel after this information—she’s taking final revenge for an act that tore into her family, probably helped to contribute to her parents’ divorce, and the own state of her life.

We also learn that the Obah Crypt was the Fire and Hemlock picture, with a lock of Tom’s hair inside. It’s only vaguely explained, but I take this as a kind of protective charm on Tom’s life, which he gave into Polly’s safekeeping? There’s a very fairy tale irony in the fact that she uses this to hurt him.

Finally, Polly has her vigil at the Miles Cross Station—taking on the role of the waiting knight/trainee hero from one of the Hunsdon House pictures, which Tom called soppy. It is certainly very wet outside. But at last everyone gathers, including a lot of nameless and faceless people who I only realized later are supposed to represent Laurel’s fairy court, ready to take a train to Nowhere. 

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 31. brb x oc

a/n: OH MY G OD. yes. yes im excited for this new arc uwu

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, mentions of pregnancy, B A B Y

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

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-

“C’mere baby.” 

Rooster is currently on their kitchen floor, making kissy sounds and patting his lap to Eleanor, who is looking at him from the door with Jack behind her, her big eyes brimming with caution “C’mere,” he pats his thighs again “C'mere beautiful, come on, I won’t hurt you.”

Beatrice watched the whole thing from the kitchen table, sipping her glass of water with a little smile as she watched Jack and Eleanor watching Rooster cautiously, Jolene stepping from behind her puppies with her tail wagging to immediately lie down next to the pilot, as if to say it was okay to approach him. 

“C’mere,c’mere,” his voice was a bit higher and he let out a pleased ‘aah’ when Eleanor slowly made her way over, her ears back and a gentle yap coming from her mouth. She sniffs his hands when he offers them to her, then his arms, then his pants and feet. The white puppy looks up at him after a few seconds, then holds herself up by climbing on his crossed legs, “There you go,” he gently picks her up and brings her to his chest, nuzzling the puppy’s white head, “Oh you smell like puppies.”

Jack, who was still by the door watching his sister and mother, whined a bit from fear and apprehension only for Jolene to gently ‘boof’ towards him since his sister was too busy wagging her tail and enjoying the constant attention. The male puppy slowly got closer, repeating the same patterns his sister did by sniffing Rooster’s hand and legs before he too stood up on his hind legs so Rooster could pick him up, “See? I’m not so bad,guys.” he coos,holding both puppies against his chest and letting them lick his face…until Eleanor barked at Jack for soaking more attention than she did, “Woah!Okay little lady, that’s not nice.”

Beatrice smiles so hard her cheeks hurt, watching her husband holding up both puppies with Jolene lying by his side supporting her huge head on his equally large thigh. Beatrice couldn’t wish for anything better, looking down at her stomach where their growing baby was and mentally telling them that ‘this was what they’d see everyday.’ She also had a feeling their child was going to be just as much a dog lover as they both are.

When she looked up again,Bradley was on the floor with Jack and Eleanor climbing over him and sniffing his face - well Jack was, Eleanor was playfully biting his fingers - “You okay over there?” 

“This is a great way to go.” comes his voice, “Trampled by puppies.”

Beatrice snorts out a laugh that soon evolves into a fit of giggles that she has a hard time holding back, even if she puts her hand over her mouth in hopes to stop. It was the most hilarious thing to see Rooster lying down, arms open by his sides with the two puppies climbing on him and checking him out…Eleanor was very focused on the bottoms of his sweatpants, especially a lone piece of string that she wanted to yank it out more than anything, “You do look really relaxed.”

“Puppies should be considered medicine.” he says when Jack is almost sitting on his face, “They cure anything and everything.”

“I mean there is puppy yoga.” Beatrice says and her husband’s head immediately lifts as soon as Jack is on the floor again, “Yeah, they bring puppies for you to relax even more, I think there’s one in San Diego.”

Rooster’s mouth dropped open in amazement, his eyes shining, “That sounds absolutely incredible, holy shit.”

“There’s one with goats too-“

“Do not tempt me with a good time.”

Beatrice laughs again, standing up from the chair to walk closer to her lying husband, leaning forward with her hands on her knees “I'm going to leave you here for a little bit and call the clinic, okay?” He turns his eyes from the male puppy on his side towards Beatrice. He inhaled shakily but he nodded with a smile, giving her a little wink before she walked out of the room.

The brunette exhaled just as shakily as he inhaled, her happiness seemed ready to burst from her body as if it was a balloon. Her footsteps seemed to float all the way towards her phone up in their room, humming happily as she dialed the clinic's number.

Rooster,who was still downstairs with two big puppies over his body, could hear Beatrice’s voice from their room. It was muffled but she sounded so happy, and honestly so was he. He was excited to see his kid, their kid, for the very first time. 

While he was away he did his research, a four months old baby would be around the size of a lemon…or a kiwi, the sources varied in that aspect. The head, arms and legs would be developing and it’d look more like a child. He was a bit nervous as well, something about seeing his baby for the very first time made something in him just snap…he wanted this of course he did, he was over the moon because of it, but he also had the same fears of not being a good father.

Funnily enough if his mother was alive she’d scold him for thinking like that, tell him he was talking nonsense and to not worry so much. 

“Well I got us scheduled.” Beatrice’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts “We need to go there after lunch, and I can’t pee before we go.”

“Oh?”

“Makes it easier to see the baby.” She explains, still smiling at his position down on the floor “But the ladies at the clinic are eager to meet you, I might’ve told them a little bit about my husband.”

His smirk returns as he looks up at her, gently removing the puppies from his chest to stand up to his full height, towering over Beatrice “I’m flattered.” He whispered, kissing her forehead “Because you know how much I love talking about you, it’s only fair you do the same.” And his arms wrap around her waist, her cheek is against his chest and his mouth is on the crown of her head “What do you think it’ll be.”

“Hm?”

“The baby, boy or girl?”

Beatrice thinks about it for a second, her own arms wrapping around his middle and resting on the curve of his ass “…I don’t know.” She says after a few minutes of silence “I mean…I’d love whatever gender the baby is. I don’t really care as long as it's healthy.”

“Fair.” he mutters against her scalp, cheeks flexing with a smile, “Keep it at that, it’ll leave everyone whose betting on it freaking out.”

–

Beatrice holds his hand as they wait to be called inside the room she’s visited months before, their fingers interlaced and her shoulder touching his bicep. He is holding her hand tightly, more than normal but it’s not hurting her at all, it’s just something that she could only translate as protection.

Ever since he got home earlier that day he’s been the protective husband/dad she thought he’d be. He helped her out of the car, even if her stomach wasn’t big enough and didn’t let go of her hand when they got inside the clinic, it’s really something to see.

Something very Rooster.

If he was like this with their seventeen weeks old baby, imagine when the baby is actually born.

Beatrice looks to the side and sees that he’s flipping through a magazine one handed, craning her neck a bit to have a better look, “Whatcha reading?”

He hums, then flips the cover for her to see ‘My Baby & Me’ with three women smiling and laughing at the camera, all of them heavily pregnant, “Do you think they ask actual pregnant women for these? Because from what I’ve read they wouldn’t be so…happy standing up for too long.”

Of course he read about it, “I mean, I don’t know,” she says sweetly, pressing her chin on his shoulder so they could read the magazine together, his finger flipping back to the page he was before, “There could be some women that handle a bit better. Some of them even wear heels during pregnancy, Roos.” she notices that he moves to a page where there was a full baby room, completely furnished with a toddler on his feet inside the crib, smiling at the viewer, “That’s cute.”

“I was thinking about getting something done about the room.” he begins, turning the page to the one he bookmarker seconds before with his fingers, “Get something like this,” he points to the brown crib and changing table with light green accents, “And then get everything else based off what you did.”

Beatrice looked up at Rooster with so much love in her eyes she felt ready to explode, “Did you see it yet?”

“Not yet, but I will,I promise.” he smirks, turning his head to kiss her cheek, reminding that their PDA had to be minimal since they were surrounded by other couples and the clinic’s employees “But doesn’t it seem like a good idea?”

“It does and I think it’ll match nicely.” she blinks, “You know I saw a tiny aviator like onesie at a baby store a few weeks back.” Rooster stares at her with an unreadable gaze, “It’s infant size.” and then he immediately grins because of course they were going to get that, it’d probably be the first thing they would buy, maybe even leaving the hospital with the baby wearing exactly that.

They were going to talk more about it, but their names were called. Beatrice smiles back at the woman then towards Rooster, who looked to be a bit in shock, maybe noticing that this was really happening “It’ll be okay,Roos.” she whispers, grabbing his hand and standing up with him following suit, “It’ll be just fine.”

“I know gorgeous, it’s just.” he keeps his voice down as they walk down the hallway to the ultrasound room, his eyes moving from Beatrice to the several pictures of pregnant women hanging on the walls, “It’s just I’m still grasping at this. Seems crazy.”

“It does.”

Once they are inside the room, Rooster sits down next to Beatrice, watching her lie down and push her shirt up and pants down enough to expose the little bump on her navel. He still couldn’t keep his eyes away from it, it was probably the most magical thing he had ever seen in his whole life honestly. Beatrice winces at the cold gel being applied to her skin, hissing quietly but remaining immobile, only turning towards Rooster as he looked at the still black monitor.

He looks down at his hand when he feels a soft touch, Beatrice’s fingers gently brushing over his knuckles until she curls around his digits. She mouths the word ‘okay?’ to him and he nods, replying just the same, bringing her knuckles to his lips to press a soft kiss to her skin. He tries to control his bouncing leg, digging the heel of his foot hard inside his shoe so he doesn’t break the comfortable silence inside the little room.

Soon the ultrasound begins and at first he couldn’t see much except blobs of gray and black, there’s just shapes he couldn’t identify until the direction changed. And he couldn’t help the gasp that leaves his mouth.

Beatrice smiles up at him, turning to face the monitor just like he was and see their baby, their actual baby that was no longer the size of a tiny bean, now it had a head, legs, arms and looked to be sleeping peacefully, “Woah, look at that.” she whispered, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.

Rooster didn’t reply, not yet, he was still grasping that this was the very first time he saw his child. The little baby was there, it was there! “Well, the baby looks fine.” the doctor comments, “Would you two like to check the gender?”

Beatrice turns to Rooster, who obviously hadn’t heard the question considering he was still staring at the monitor with his jaw hanging open. So Bea gives his hand a gentle tug, with a quiet “Roos.” calling his attention, “Do you want to check the baby’s gender?” He doesn't hesitate in nodding, since he doesn’t feel like he could talk right now, still understanding everything that’s happening in this small room.

The doctor just chuckles at the two, who watch with so much intensity you’d think the monitor was going to fly away at any second and they’d never be able to figure out. “Well,” the doctor begins, “It’s a girl.”

And he feels like he’s about to faint, “A girl? It’s a girl?” how did he know? How did he know? There was no way he’d know without…nevermind, it doesn’t matter. They were going to have a daughter! It’s a girl! They were going to have a girl, “...holy shit.” he does not hold back the swearing, much for the doctor’s amusement, “Bea, it’s a girl.”

Beatrice’s eyes were glossed over and she gently wipes a lone tear that slid down the side of her face, sniffling quietly, “I know Roos. It’s…it’s a girl.” she laughs tearfully, seeing their little girl’s shape inside of her was…incredible. 

But when the doctor finally lets them hear their daughter’s heartbeat, that’s when Rooster has to hold his head up with a hand in front of his mouth and try his best not to sob. “It’s a strong heartbeat.” the doctor says, “She appears to be completely healthy, there’s nothing wrong with her.”

Rooster could only hear the sound of their daughter’s, Nicole, heart beating repeatedly and quickly, it was like the drums of a marching band, it was loud and yet so quiet at the same time. He couldn’t explain, there were too many emotions rushing through him, so many that he had to look away from the monitor to wipe his eyes only to feel Beatrice’s hand doing that for him with a gentle smile on her face, “It’s okay,Roos.” she whispers as the doctors finishes some paperwork before letting them go, “It’s okay.”

“It’s our baby girl, Bea.” he voices those words and she could hear the pure love and adoration within them, “It’s our baby girl.”

“I know.” she smiles, still wiping his face the best she could, “I know,Roos.”

After a few seconds of both of them calming down because the fact they could hear and see their baby jolted them so much they had to ease their own heartbeats. The doctor said it was all fine and they just had to keep an eye on the little girl but she sounded and appeared healthy as she could be, she congratulated the two - handing them the pictures of the ultrasound as well - and they walked off the little room.

Once outside they had to lean against the Bronco for a few seconds, looking up at the clinic, the ultrasound was held tightly in Beatrice’s hand as if she was terrified of losing it. It’s a long pause, it lasts more than either planned but it breaks when she lifts the picture of their baby to her eyes “...she’s really cute.”

Bradley snaps out of his thoughts to look towards Beatrice, then at the picture and he couldn’t help but smile at it, “I think I see a bit of your nose.” he points to the barely visible profile of their little girl and Beatrice chuckles in disbelief, “See, the little slope? It’s like yours.”

“That soon, huh?”

“That soon.” he smirks, leaning back against the car door with a gentle laugh breaking through his throat, “Have you ever considered that…we’ve been together for two years and a half now, married for six months and we are not expecting our very first child?”

Beatrice folds her arms over her chest with her eyes towards the sky, “You know…now that you mentioned, yeah.” she smiles, “I think we are very lucky Roos. It’s not…often people get pregnant so quickly after marrying, sometimes they wait, sometimes…you know, things happen and yet, here she is…my aunt was right, she was just desperate to show up.”

She looks down at the tiny baby one more time, running her finger over her little silhouette, “She looks like a little robin with how she’s posed.” Beatrice pauses, then turns over towards him, “Robin.” Rooster arches his eyebrow towards her, “Nicole Robin. What do you think?”

“Robin, huh? I like it. Keep with the birds within the family.” but in reality, he was over the moon by the name suggestion because it was so Beatrice to do that, to blurt out something that just latches onto you and it means so much, “Maybe she’ll be just like her daddy.”

“Sweet and charming?”

Bradley licks his lips, giving one quick check towards the clinic and then leaning closer to Beatrice, “That too, but I was thinking she could become a pilot, now I’m going to kiss you because that was dangerously smooth Mrs.Bradshaw.”

“I learned from the best, Mr.Bradshaw.”

They shared a soft laugh before Rooster leaned down to kiss her lips like he wanted to since they got to the clinic. He tasted her cherry flavored lip gloss and swallowed her soft sigh, only pulling back when he felt that he’d go even further if they weren’t right in front of a public space and in the middle of the street “Let’s go home,” he whispers against her lips, “So I can continue this in private.”

Beatrice’s laugh is like music to his ears and her cheeks flushing up were an added bonus, “Very well,” she thanks him when he opens the passenger door for her, stealing another quick peck and then closing the door. As he enters the car, Beatrice is still looking at the ultrasound, “Who will win? The bet?”

Bradley stops after he shuts his own door, thinking about it, “Oh, Payback,Phoenix,Coyote and Bob.” 

“Mav isn’t in the bet?”

“Oh he is, but he tossed the idea of twins.” he laughs, “So it’s possible he’ll win half this time.”

Beatrice hums with a little grin, placing the picture inside her bag and leaning back against the seat, “...they’ll lose their minds when we show up tomorrow.”

“Yep,” he chuckles, turning the car on, “They sure will.”

[hongherbac]

[Hatori Centric] He Didn't Press the Button - Chapter 3

Read it on AO3

Fandom: モブサイコ100 | Mob Psycho 100 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Chapters: 3/4 Words: 5,034

Non-Romantic Relationships: Hatori Nozomu & Joseph, Suzuki Touichirou, Shimazaki Ryou

CW: curses, a lot of smoking

Summary: Former "Claw" executives solved the problem in their own way.

Chapter 3

　　The situation continued to deteriorate. Shimazaki had completely disappeared.

　　Hatori had been calling him over and over again for days, but the answer was always an empty, void silence. It seemed that Shimazaki had left his cell phone somewhere and never bothered with it again. Hatori checked the sales records of all the communication companies, guessing that the blind man might have lost his cell phone by accident, and also searched the city's surveillance cameras for its whereabouts. But there was nothing. Any sign of Shimazaki had simply disappeared from the world.

　　They sent a guy to check the cell phone's location, and found a clean bright apartment. The furniture was simple, with traces of everyday life everywhere. The bed was casually made, and clothes hung on a partially open balcony, which was the right size for Shimazaki. There was a decent stereo in the living room. Numerous music records filled up the adjacent bookshelf.

　　The whole apartment gave the impression that the resident had known he would be leaving for a while, but still planned to come back.

　　Once again, Hatori was called into Joseph's office alone. It took almost every effort to convince him that he had no connection to Shimazaki. In the end, he paced back and forth in agitation, his fingers digging into his tousled brown hair, his face flushed red with anger, and his volume getting more and more out of control as he shouted at Joseph.

　　"I fucking swear - "

　　"All right, all right. Don't get so worked up. It's just routine, you know."

　　Joseph's eyes squinted into narrow slits as he held a cigarette between his fingers. The office was even smokier than usual, with the ashtray overflowing with cigarette butts. His expression was cold and blank.

　　"If you run into him, let him know he has 24 hours to report, or the government will issue a nationwide warrant. At that point, he won't be able to back out."

　　"What? An arrest warrant!?"

　　"Shimazaki has a criminal record and holds too many secrets. It's very likely that he's on the run."

　　"You're kidding me! We don't know anything yet! Maybe he was hurt and can't move on his own? Or he could be sick, or... dead."

　　"Then we'll give him a posthumous medal."

　　Hatori glared at Joseph fiercely, feeling that he'd never wanted to smash that face so badly. Right now, he wished he could fight like Shimazaki, Minegishi, Serizawa, or even Shibata, where he could personally tear that arrogant attitude apart. But, no, Hatori had only one other way to fight.

　　"... I need to use the 805 surveillance room."

　　"Suit yourself."

　　He stormed out in anger.

　　Just as the door was about to close, a ring tone suddenly sounded from inside - default music. It was Joseph's official phone. Out of some... intuition, vigilance, curiosity, or perhaps pure revenge, Hatori paused. Through the crack in the door, he heard Joseph pick up the phone, his voice suppressed and bitter; at the same time, he slid the headset to his head, and immediately caught the faint signal drifting in the air.

　　Hatori walked slowly down the corridor, listening to the conversation between the two officers through his headset. The more he listened, the heavier his heart became.

　　So, apparently, Suzuki Shou was missing as well.

　　Over the past few months, the boy had never missed a visit with his father, rain or shine. Even on the day that Kageyama Shigeo lost control and plunged the city into chaos and destruction, he still showed up at the facility as scheduled. When he learned that his father had been sent on the special mission, he immediately went after him.

　　But he did not show up today.

　　Of course, Suzuki Shou had a volatile temper, and he was approaching puberty, so he might have just lost track of time, or he might have just gotten tired of his criminal father and decided to live his own life. But when the staff tried to contact him, neither his cell phone nor his home phone worked. To make matters worse, his bike was found near the facility. It had been blown over and was lying flat on the ground, covered in a thin layer of dust, with summer weeds growing through the frame.

　　Hatori entered the elevator and tapped on the panel, ordering it to go straight up, ignoring the poor colleagues waiting on other floors. He looked in the mirror and realized he was pulling his hair again, so he forced himself to put his hand back down. 

　　After his colleagues were mind-controlled, Shimazaki's whereabouts became a mystery... And now, Suzuki Shou had disappeared. All of this couldn't be pure coincidence.

　　" - worry about Suzuki's reaction. They want you to do the talking."

　　The caller breathed heavily.

　　"We have to calm him down or he could do great damage. You went undercover for him, handled his interrogations, and even went on a few missions with him, so you should have some rapport, right?"

　　"Rapport?" Joseph scoffed, "Do you want a negotiator or a punching bag?"

　　"Well, umm..."

　　"Fine. Okay, I'll go talk to Suzuki. I have some questions for him anyway."

　　The caller was relieved and thanked Joseph again and again with earnestness.

　　There was a click on the phone, followed by a hollow, monotonous beeping. But Joseph didn't hang up. He was silent for a moment, then spoke:

　　"Hey, Hatori. Are you listening?"

　　"... Hmm."

　　"Then you know the situation. The target has changed. Prioritize the search for Suzuki Shou."

　　"Got it."

　　"Maybe you'll find someone else on the way."

　　Hatori cut off the communication.

　　Rubbing his brow, Joseph reached into the drawer and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.

　　The facility was two buildings away, connected by interior corridors. He handed over his ID at the reception desk. The staff behind the bulletproof glass scrutinized it, comparing information over and over before finally nodding and letting him through. An armed guard motioned for Joseph to follow and solemnly led the way. The man wore a rifle and a large keychain on his belt that jingled with each step. At each checkpoint, the guard removed the keys to unlock the heavy iron doors, then replaced them on the belt.

　　Joseph watched these draconian security measures with growing impatience. He could unlock all the doors in seconds with hardened smoke. Firearms were useless. If any of the prisoners posed a threat, the guard would only be a hindrance, forcing Joseph to divide his attention to protect him.

　　Damn bureaucracy.

　　He insisted that the guards wait in the hallway while he went in alone to face the world's most ferocious esper.

　　The room was sparse. Suzuki Touichirou sat on the edge of the bed, his hands resting on his knees, his eyes cold and piercing, radiating a strong sense of oppression. It was as if he was not a criminal in an orange prison jumpsuit, but a powerful dominant figure, an interrogator, silently waiting for an answer. Joseph leaned against the wall and slowly took out his lighter to light his cigarette, letting the steel door close behind him and automatically relock itself, leaving him alone with the beast.

　　"Suzuki Shou... Your son. He's currently missing," he said blandly, "There's no conclusive evidence yet, but it's probably a kidnapping."

　　Suzuki stared sharply, forcing Joseph to continue.

　　He summarized the situation.

　　"Think about it, even though you are now voluntarily in custody, there are still many fools out there who want to get their hands on your powers. They'll stop at nothing if they can."

　　"You think someone wants to use Shou to control me." Suzuki said.

　　"Let's just assume that's the case." Joseph looked up at the swirling white smoke and tapped off the ash, "This guy must know about your relationship with Suzuki Shou. So he's either a government mole, or an acquaintance of yours, or... both. And then he would have to be strong enough to deal with Suzuki Shou; you don't know how much trouble your son can get into."

　　"I know, he always does." Suzuki pondered for a moment, "If someone wants to threaten me with my family, they should have chosen an easier target. Have you investigated my wife?"

　　"We can't."

　　Suzuki raised an eyebrow.

　　"Well, it's quite interesting," Joseph said coldly, "I'm pretty sure the government did a thorough investigation back then, but then we realized that the name on all the documents was changed to 'Aragaki Yui', and the address to 'Flying Spaghetti Shrine'. In other words, we lost all the relevant information. I wonder who was behind this."

　　Suzuki's lips curled up slightly.

　　"Anyway, I will be frank with you about the investigation. In return, I hope you will cooperate with the government and provide some information. We have the manpower and resources, and when we catch this guy - " Joseph pointed his cigarette at Suzuki with a smirk, "That's when you'll make your appearance. And I won't ask anything if any 'accidents' happen during the arrest. How about that?"

　　"Agreed. But you have to agree to one more condition."

　　"Say it."

　　"I demand that Hatori be put in charge of the search operation. And that he be relieved of his other duties and responsibilities until it is over."

　　"That's it? It's easy. He just started the investigation 30 minutes ago, and the preliminary report should be done soon. I can send you a copy."

　　"No. Thirty minutes is more than enough for him."

　　"Hmph, you trust him a lot."

　　Suzuki nodded, "I know his capabilities. Let me talk to Hatori myself."

　　"Unfortunately, I'm afraid you can't - "

　　Bzzz. Bzzz. The wall-mounted broadcasting system suddenly crackled with noise. They all turned to the speakers at the same time and immediately realized what was happening. The static lasted less than a second before it became clear, as if wired in, and the steady voice of Hatori rang out:

　　"Hi, boss. I'm listening. Go ahead."

　　Joseph's face sank. Suzuki, on the other hand, remained impassive, showing no emotion.

　　"Hatori, report the situation."

　　"Uh, okay. Let's see... Shou was last recorded seven days ago, at 11:27 a.m. on March 23rd. After the visit, he went down the west hallway on the second floor, and entered the blind spot of camera A8316, where he has not been seen since. Since Shou can be invisible, this opens up a lot of possibilities... so I've expanded my search to a one-kilometer radius, including the streets and the interior of nearby buildings.

　　"In addition to the missing location, I have checked his home, school, train station, and several supermarkets and restaurants he frequents, as well as the routes between these locations. I have also tracked down his close friends, including Kageyama, Fukuda, Higashio, and Ootsuki. None of them have been in contact with Shou in the past week.

　　"The bugging system has been set up, and the search area can be expanded to cover the entire Seasoning City by tomorrow. After that... Maybe I should start analyzing large scale audio material."

　　"Good. The work of the government hasn't rusted on you." Suzuki said, "Tell me your thoughts on the current situation."

　　"......"

　　The speaker fell into silence.

　　Joseph signed, dropping his hand with the cigarette, "I'll answer that. Considering the current situation - "

　　"I think it was Shimazaki who took Shou away." Hatori said abruptly. The broadcast system amplified the sound of his tense breathing, as if his thoughts were struggling at the edge of his lips, hesitating to be spoken, "Only he could evade my tracking to this extent. To memorize all monitor locations, to perfectly avoid every camera and recording device, and to deliberately abandon any electronic devices that could be used to locate him. It would have to be Shimazaki."

　　"Where is he?"

　　"Last seen in the office seven days ago, and has been out of contact ever since. That matches the timeline with Shou."

　　"I see. Shimazaki is well aware of your abilities, so he will be particularly cautious with these measures." Suzuki's voice remained steady, "In that case, it will be necessary to use a method you have never tried before."

　　"......?"

　　"Hatori, you can sense electronic devices. What is the range?"

　　"Well, I rarely try that... It gives me a headache in the city. It also depends on the strength of the signal. For a car or something like that, I should be able to go about two or three kilometers."

　　"What about a watch battery?"

　　"A watch battery! Just that little bit?" Hatori pondered carefully, "Two hundred meters... I guess."

　　"That's enough. Shou always wears a watch. Shimazaki wouldn't think of dealing with it. I can tell you the make and model number." Suzuki said, "You can transmit power via radio waves. Do a carpet search with cell phones all over the city, compare the pictures, delete the innocent ones, and you'll be able to find Shou."

　　Hatori thought for a moment, tapping his fingers on the desktop.

　　"It'll work. But it's going to take a couple of days, and there's no guarantee they won't move around in the meantime."

　　"I don't intend to wait that long."

　　Suzuki lifted his gaze to the room monitor, as if he was looking through the screen, straight into Hatori's eyes.

　　"I will transfer my energy to you."

　　Hatori gasped. He breathed heavily, like a little boy receiving an unexpectedly incredible Christmas present, so overwhelmed with excitement that he could barely speak, "I-I uh… Are you serious? I can actually receive the boss's energy? REALLY?"

　　"When did I ever joke?"

　　Suzuki said in a calm voice, but there was a flicker of playful amusement in his light blue eyes.

　　It was gone in a flash. He slowly stood up, reaching for the psychic restraint on his left wrist. It looked like a regular black bracelet, with curses densely engraved on the inside. A red aura erupted from Suzuki's fingertips. In an instant, the restraining bracelet shattered with a thud, billowing thick smoke and falling to the ground in a twisted heap.

　　With his back against the wall, Joseph rasped, "Wait a minute. Are you just going to walk out of here?"

　　"I’m doing this to find my son. It goes with the government benefits."

　　"If you don't get permission, what you're about to do is called escaping." Joseph narrowed his eyes as he brought the cigarette to his mouth, his body tensing, "We have some procedures to follow first."

　　"Do it later."

　　Suzuki walked to the door. The electronic lock buzzed slightly, automatically disarming the alarm. The red aura flashed again and drilled into the hole of the mechanical lock, turning it slightly. He pushed open the metal door as easily as if he had just stepped out of his own house.

　　The corridor outside was cold and pale. The simple, bare passageway was empty, unnaturally quiet. The corridor stretched for several dozen meters before branching off. Not far ahead was another junction. It was a complex network of passages connected by several classified government facilities, and, of course, there were no signs.

　　"I'm at... Uh, never mind. Follow the light."

　　With that, a fluorescent light in the distance suddenly began to flicker, blinking in a regular pattern. Suzuki stepped towards it. He walked out of the room, then stopped and turned to Joseph:

　　"You might want to keep an eye on me. This is a special mission after all."

　　Joseph signed.

　　They followed the direction Hatori had indicated. Each time they approached a light, the next one began to flicker. They encountered several locked metal gates along the way, but easily broke through with their usual methods. They left the facility without incident.

　　Joseph knew the way after that, but Hatori chose a different route. They went around the back of the office, through two buildings, and then down the fire escape back to the elevator shaft. The elevator was open in front of them and automatically closed as they entered, going straight up to the 8th floor. They didn't encounter anyone along the way.

　　The light indication finally stopped at the door, a wooden sign on it read "Surveillance Room 805".

　　Suzuki opened the door. Inside, the room was occupied by countless electronic equipment, with three entire walls lined with monitors, each switching between images like the frantic compound eyes of insects, flashing at such a rapid pace that no human could keep up with them. The remaining wall was lined with professional instruments, each with jacks, levers, buttons, and knobs of unknown function. Black wires crawled  across the room like sticky spider webs.

　　In the center of the room were several long tables and chairs, clearly meant for a full team of operators. But for the moment, Hatori was the only one sitting alone, his glasses reflecting the flickering light. Hearing the door open, he turned to the entrance.

　　Suzuki was standing there. He looked at him, and he looked at him. The images on the screens distorted for a second.

　　"Hatori."

　　"Hey, boss."

　　They spoke as if they had met just yesterday.

　　Suzuki entered and glanced at the flickering images on the walls. Hatori waved his hand, and all the screens went off in response, returning the room to silence and darkness. Only the machinery operated, emitting a warm, hypnotic hum. Joseph took a seat in silence, crossing his legs as he watched the two former criminals. He regretted bringing only a pack of cigarettes.

　　"Ready?" Suzuki said.

　　"Anytime." Hatori smiled, took off his glasses.

　　He suddenly stopped, holding his glasses in both hands, his head bowed, looking somewhat disoriented. Without the lenses, his pupils seemed to be a bit difficult to focus. He said in a low voice, "Boss, when you find Shimazaki......"

　　"I know, don't worry."

　　Hatori put his glasses on the table and turned to Suzuki, signaling with silence that it's time to begin.

　　Suzuki raised his hand, and the red aura began to flow, swirling around the two of them. Hatori couldn't help but hold his breath as he felt an extremely powerful energy - hot, brutal, almost burning - sweeping over him, as if he was being swallowed by a storm into its wild center. He appeared utterly trivial to this overwhelming force, like an ant trying to push an elephant.

　　With little resistance, he let the scorching energy flow into his body. And it felt...

　　Oh, god. So painful, and yet so beautiful. It was as if Hatori was breathing fresh air for the first time in his life. His whole body swelled with an endless flow of energy, from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers, like a flood of water roaring through, relentlessly filling up all the space. He felt like he could do anything at this moment, with the entire world’s airwaves under his control. But at the same time, he was also burning, like a flame consuming his body from within, the heat melting his flesh.

　　Hatori tried his best to bear it. It was a torture of ecstasy. He would have stayed longer if he could, but he realized that if this terrifying power wasn’t released soon, his head might explode.

　　"By the way." Suzuki said to Joseph, "Apologize in advance for your losses."

　　Hatori struck both palms together. His body erupted with a strong, blinding red-yellow aura, with arcs of electricity sizzling through the air. All the screens flickered on, distorting in chaotic swirls of color. Instruments shook, indicator lights flashed crazily, and fans spun like they were about to take off. The fluorescent lights grew more and more intense, like a bomb approaching its critical point, until they finally exploded with a bang. Muffled cries of alarm and cracking sounds came from the distance.

　　"Can you keep going?" Suzuki said.

　　No. Impossible. Joseph thought to himself, unable to admit that he was stunned by the sight. You're going to kill him.

　　Hatori wasn't looking anywhere in particular, but his expression was intensely focused, as if his consciousness was far beyond the room, beyond and the recent time and space, immersed in a world where only he could see. He nodded imperceptibly.

　　"Very good."

　　The power further intensified like a roaring wave. The aura radiated sharply, as dazzling and blinding as the blade of a sword.

　　The room was filled with crackling static electricity. The machines were completely overloaded, spewing gray smoke, and the wires were so heated that they began to melt. Hatori gritted his teeth, his body tense, his eyes glittering with pain and joy, as if he were drowning in his own aura. Joseph unconsciously gripped the chair so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

　　The whole process lasted only a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

　　Finally, Hatori slowly raised his hand, and pointed to the row of monitors on the wall. A map popped up on the screen, showing the geographic street layout of the entire Seasoning City. In the lower right corner of the map, a bright red dot flashed.

　　His body collapsed.

　　The red aura caught Hatori before he fell to the ground. Suzuki used his psychic powers to pull several tables together, gently placing Hatori's unconscious body on top of them. Then he rolled up the sleeves of his orange prison jumpsuit and started to step outside.

　　"Where are you going?" Joseph said.

　　"Go get my son."

******

　　There was a lounge on each floor of the government building. A few desks, chairs, bookshelves, and a water cooler were all that was needed. The room was quite simple and clean. At the moment, the floor was still littered with fragments of light bulbs that had been hastily swept aside. The room had no electric lighting, so the blinds were rarely open, letting in the soft, lazy afternoon light of spring from outside. Sparrows chirped and pigeons paced on the air conditioner, making soft cooing noises.

　　Next to the window, a long couch sat against the wall. Hatori lay quietly on it, looking tiny and fragile, his chest rising and falling steadily with each breath. Someone had covered him with a white jacket.

　　The door creaked open. A slim, white figure stepped inside. The man wore a black shirt and tight pants, with an electronic lighter hanging from a brown cord around his neck. He took out a cigarette and flicked open the lighter with his thumb, only to find the inside was burned to a black scorch. He tsked, found a wheel lighter in his back pocket instead, and put the cigarette in his mouth to light it.

　　He exhaled a dense cloud of thick white smoke. The smoke gathered into filaments, and wrapped itself around the door handle, hardening and solidifying, sealing the room tightly. The man leaned over and looked at the couch, where Hatori appeared to be sleeping, completely defenseless. He extended his hand, and - 

　　"I didn’t expect you to fall so easily."

　　The man quickly withdrew his arm, noticing that Hatori's eyes were slightly open, looking at him groggily; he was Joseph, but not quite. At least part of his head wasn't.

　　"You're awake."

　　"My body hurts like hell." Hatori smiled weakly, "Boss's power is really something, isn't it? Now I can't move at all. Help me up."

　　Joseph braced the sides of his body and helped Hatori sit up on the couch, his back resting on several soft pillows. That alone made the exhausted esper catch his breath. Hatori blinked, looking a little confused. Joseph found the carefully kept glasses on a nearby table. After putting them back on, Hatori seemed a bit more complete.

　　"... Honestly, you're not far behind."

　　"Wow, are you complimenting me? This mind control is really getting serious." Hatori giggled. Joseph glared at him in displeasure. "Don't be mad. Can I have a cigarette?"

　　Joseph took a cigarette out of the pack and handed it over, then lit it for him.

　　"I didn't know you smoked."

　　"Not usually. But since I've worked so hard today, I think I deserve a reward."

　　Hatori gripped the cigarette gently, his fingers trembling slightly with exhaustion. Joseph retrieved his white jacket, pulled up a chair, and sat down next to the couch. He was surprised to see Hatori taking deep drags on his cigarette like an experienced smoker. Hatori's eyes were misty, and his disguise, worn down by smoking and fatigue, was slowly fading away.

　　"I smoked for a while in high school." Hatori said. "I thought it would help me break into the circle. Then I realized that as long as I followed their orders, ran errands, copied homework, took the blame, and tampered with game data for them, they would be nice to me. So I decided to stop wasting my money."

　　"......"

　　"Once they threw my school bag into a ditch just for fun, so I deleted all their game accounts. I was beaten so badly that I couldn't get out of bed for several days."

　　Joseph watched his cigarette, a fine white mist slowly drifting from its tip.

　　"When I was in high school, I got into a fight with my buddy, and I accidentally trapped him in the toilet with smoke. Turns out the plumbing had a little... indigestion from my smoke."

　　"... Oh. No way."

　　"It took the local fire department 4 hours to cut through the smoke. By the time they found him, the sewage was up to his calves and the toilet kept spewing every few minutes - like a fucking geyser. It was quite a sight."

　　They burst out laughing. Hatori laughed so hard that tears welled up in his eyes, and he almost lost his grip on his cigarette and burned the couch. When he finally managed to hold it steady, he took a drag, but couldn't stop laughing. He ended up coughing violently as the smoke irritated his throat. The pain from the vibrations forced him to stop and catch his breath.

　　Hatori closed his eyes, realizing how weak he was now. How easily he could be dealt with.

　　"I wouldn't lay a hand on me if I were you," he said. "I'm very useful as a pawn. I take money from the government, so I follow their orders. I don't care who’s messing around behind. No opinions, no principles. Completely at your disposal."

　　"That's not how you acted in front of Suzuki."

　　"Uh, well..."

　　"Forget it, Hatori. We both know very well that you're not good with words." Joseph said, "If we had Shimazaki under control, Suzuki Shou would be in our hands by now. We won't make the same mistake again."

　　"So, you really did target Shou."

　　"More precisely, it’s Suzuki Touichirou. It was all so simple until Shimazaki came out of nowhere and stirred everything up. I have to say, you two are my biggest pain in the ass ever."

　　"Is that your opinion, or that of the mind control pervert?"

　　"Both." Joseph shrugged, "But it doesn’t matter. Anyway, Suzuki's going to take care of Shimazaki and hand over his precious son himself. Maybe he'll even leave Shimazaki half alive, which would be more ideal. As for you - " he approached the couch, "you'll be joining us soon."

　　"What a nag. Are you really that desperate for someone to admire your grand plan?"

　　He gave a fierce glare, then extended his right hand, with a cigarette held between his fingers, and pressed the tips against Hatori's forehead. Unable to resist, Hatori felt a cold, tingling energy flow into his head, like an annoying sharp monotone in his ears, making it harder and harder for him to think. He winced and groaned.

　　Hatori muttered, "My head is going to hurt like hell when this is over."

　　The other frowned.

　　"You know what? I've been thinking, this mind control ability is really handy. All you need to do is catch a few people first, then they'll do the work for you and go on to infect others." Hatori struggled to move, as if trying to maintain his consciousness by talking, "And you can monitor everything from a safe place, far away from the actual battlefield. We are similar somehow."

　　"True. But I don't have to rely on anyone else. That's our difference."

　　"You are indeed a tough nut to crack. Just like ants, no matter how many workers you kill, it's meaningless if you don't catch the queen. But when you're brainwashing a new target, like now, you still have to transmit the energy directly from yourself."

　　"......"

　　"Unless someone could sense that energy flow in that split second, and immediately teleport over to beat you up..." Hatori raised his trembling hand and took another drag on the cigarette. There was a mischievous gleam in his eyes, "Well, I happen to know the only person in the world who can do that."

　　The other froze.

　　"I'm the bait." Hatori grinned and blew white smoke into the other's face, "Gotcha, idiot."

　　Joseph - not Joseph - scrambled back. But it was all too late. He suddenly screamed, clutching his head in pain and stumbling over a chair. Hatori felt the cold energy in his head gradually dissipated.

　　He was tired. Exhausted. As if the last drop of power had been drained from his body. Sleepiness rolled in like a wave, making everything distant and blurry. Hatori heard Joseph cursing, which soon turned into a series of nervous, concerned calls. The cigarette slipped from his mouth and officially burned his favorite, now somewhat tattered, light blue pigeon sweater. Sleepiness gently enveloped him, welcoming him into the sweet, still darkness.

　　Before feeling sorry for the sweater, Hatori fell into a deep sleep.

[magicaloctopus333]

Febuwhump 2024!

I was so close to having it be something written everyday, but alas day 29 I had a long day at work and slept past posting.

Links below, some days are connected with a plus because they're part of the same fic BUT are different chapters. Chapters are still in order of when they sequentially happen. Ao3 links, warnings and such with each work on ao3.

DAY 1: helpless + DAY 18: too weak to move

= Helpless in the jungle- Pinky and the brain

DAY 2: solitary confinement =

=Ernie in Solitary Confinement- Sesame Street

DAY 3: "bite down on this"

= Alcoholic blood- What we do in the Shadows (wwdits)

DAY 4: obedience

=Total Obedience- WWDITS

DAY 5: rope burns

=Rope Burns- WWDITS

DAY 6: "you lied to me" + DAY 8: "why won't it stop?"

=Too much of a good thing- WWDITS

DAY 7: suffering in silence

= Suffering in Silence- Saiki K

DAY 9: bees

= Friendship bracelets belong in shoe boxes- Sam and Max

DAY 10: killing in self defense+DAY 11: time loop

= Rain and Bloodied Knuckles- Saiki K

DAY 12: semi-conscious

= After the night market- WWDITS

DAY 13: "you weren't supposed to get hurt"

= you weren't supposed to get hurt- Lazytown

DAY 14: blood-stained tiles+DAY 19: "please don't"+DAY 22: "you weren't meant to be there"+DAY 24: "i'm doing this because i care about you"

= I Might Kill My Ex- WWDITS

DAY 15: "who did this to you?"

= Missing teeth- WWDITS

DAY 16: came back wrong

=The child is gone - WWDITS

DAY 17: hostage situation

=Baby's first hostage situation- Sam and Max

DAY 20: truth serum

=paper balls and foolish thoughts- Pinky and the Brain

DAY 21: unresponsive

=As Cavendish Sleeps- Milo Murphy's Law

DAY 23: presumed dead

=Presumed Dead- WWDITS

DAY 25: waterboarding

=As the centuries past- WWDITS

DAY 26: "help them"

= Tangled Hair and Feelings- WWDITS

DAY 27: left for dead

= Left for Dead- Milo Murphy's Law

DAY 28: "no... not like this"

= Keep Trying- Sam and Max

DAY 29: not allowed to die

= Not them- WWDITS

BONUS (to make brain happy)

Like a LIGHTNING STRIKE- WWDITS

Immortality- WWDITS

Human shield- Milo Murphy's Law

Human weapon- WWDITS

Killing game - WWDITS

any Last words- WWDITS

[fischlcatgirl]

Cassie's Works Masterpost (Updated 9/14/24)

Hello, fans of my writing and also most likely fans of the genshin impact character childe tartaglia ajax whatever whatever. and also haters. hello haters.

For many years I have employed the classic tumblr dot com tactic of just kind of posting about my works and their progress whenever I thought of them. But no more!

Fics will be ordered by how soon I think I'm going to finish them, but I make no promises. Such is the life of a guy who has a new idea every few days.

If a fic you liked the premise of was on this list and has disappeared, you can ask me about it! Probably I've just deprioritized it..... it's just on the backburner in my mind.

Works In Progress:

Like Liquor, Drink Venom - PERFUME PETTICOAT TWO. THIS TIME IN second person. I know I said third person but it's second person again. The young man who was once Ajax and can never be human again, through the years. Revamped with even more headcannons. May feature transfemme Childe... though that is yet to be revealed even to myself. 2k/4-5k.

Lethe - A 3rd person Lynette pov, concerning what might have happened if the twins (but not Freminet!) drank the bottled flames at the end of Arlecchino's story quest and are trying to be regular magicians. It doesn't go very well for them! 3.5/6-8k.

Derail This Train of Thought - 3rd person, switching focus between Kaveh and Nahida. No Traveller Au in Sumeru, starts midway through the Sumeru Archon Quest. Things are not good. Focus on a Kaveh and Nahida friendship, Kaveh's sense of pride and how it connects to his self-worth, and also Nahida's different roles and very splintered sense of self because of the whole bubble thing. 18k/25-30k.

aiya, that's one kind of burnout! - We have all asked ourselves "what is Hu Tao actually doing when she uses her skill? Why does she take damage?" and this fic is here to answer that question. SHE IS BURNING HER VERY SOUL. ITS BAD. Kind of a mystery where starts in medias res and that first scene informs the others... Hu Tao and Zhongli as dual protagonists trying to stop a threat to Liyue masquerading as none other than Rex Lapis himself. 2k/?? maybe 8kish. idrk yet.

Ces't la Vie - Furina grows bored with everyday life and finds herself restlessly wandering the streets of Fontaine, where she meets with a wandering bard who is particularly interested in avoiding the Iudex. A conversation about freedom between a caged bird and one only recently released. Planning stage, but it'll probably be around 2-3k? Experienced a setback in that I completely changed the premise of this fic.

A Waking Life of Looking Backwards - Furina and Wanderer travelling and healing fic. There will be friendship. there will be angst. you may have seen me talking about a fic called archonatomy before, and that one has been kind of consumed by this one after i realized it was kind of hard to contrive reasons all of the other archons would come to fontaine. so now furina is going to them and also it's not the focus of the fic. 1k/10-15k.

POV You are Kaveh - A text adventure game where. Well. POV you are Kaveh, shortly after finishing work on the Palace of Alcazarzaray. Will feature 5 different planned endings, only 1.5 of which are remotely canon compliant, so. It'll be a minute. Demo soon?

Archon War 2 - Working title. Celestia takes the power of the archons and offers it to whichever Vision wielder is the last one standing of each element. So much slaughter. So much horror. Still in the planning phase and set to be approx. 50 chapters so. It's going to be a while on this one folks.

Completed Fics:

Puppetstrings - Ei looks at all the stuff she has control over and goes hey. Whats this little guy doing in here so she investigates (uses Scara to go talk to Nahida). Hurt/comfort. Nahida and Scara are both REALLY BAD at being friends with anyone and they both hurt each other but they are. Trying. 4k.

Storm's Wake - Miko character study post-cataclysm through canon. Some Eimiko in there but really it's just about Miko being kind of terrible in a women's wrongs sort of way. 2k.

Fisherman's Son - Childe character study, 2nd person pov Childe, set a little bit before and then through his time in the Abyss. He dies a thousand little deaths. Yippee!! 4.5k.

In Absentia (Of?) - Some of Nahida's thoughts on her role post-Rukkadevata erasure. 0.5k.

Grand Finale - Kind of Lisa-Centric fic about a threat to Teyvat. A little bit of mystery. A little bit of hurt. Written 100% just for fun. 8.5k.

Gods and Monsters - Zhongchi but they're bad for each other. A little meeting in Liyue Harbor post-Liyue but pre-Fontaine Archon Quest. Big time resentment from Childe. 2k.

Eye of God - Keqing recieves her Vision but horror style. She has a bad time, but still technically canon compliant. 1k.

Perfume Petticoat - 2nd person rotating pov Childe character study. Maybe the best fic I've ever written, in my own opinion. Covers his climb out of the Abyss through his imprisonment in the Fortress of Meropide, though the Fortress part isn't quite canon compliant anymore. Angst. Mild gore. Childe stuff, you know. 8k.

Greener Grass - Barbatos Character study. Venti Anarchonism, if you read that part, so interactions between him and all of the members of the Mondstadt cast except for Mika, who wasn't out when I started writing, and forgot to put in when he was. Focus on the difference between his place as an Archon and his place as a god. 5k.

Fics on Hiatus (womp womp):

Go For Broke - Zhongli wishes himself into a world where he isn't an Archon, and things are worse there. The main issue here is that while the idea is interesting to me in theory, in practice it's not very exciting. 3.5k/?. I have no idea how long this would be if I ever finished it.

A Dog and Oni Show - Kokomi makes Gorou take a break, and to show how well he can take a break, Gorou decides to fake date Itto. This fic is technically entirely plotted out I have the beats but the thing is that it just isn't very good. I wrote it because I thought it would appeal to people and the title I came up with is a real banger but it's just. It's bad. Sorry everyone. 3.5k/19-20k, were I ever to finish it.

If you think I've spoken before about some idea and it's not on here, I probably just forgot to put it on. Send me a message or an ask and I'll fix that! Also you can just. You can always ask me what's going on with my fics. I love to talk about them. That's part of why I made this post it's really just one big excuse to talk about them and then to keep talking about them when I edit it. Yippee!

PATCH NOTES 9/14/24:

Major changes to the description of "C'est la Vie".

Added to the word count of "Derail This Train of Thought", "Like Liquor, Drink Venom", and "Lethe".

Moved "Like Liquor, Drink Venom" above "Lethe".

[xkittypunkerx]

Falling In Line

What happens when CM Punk and The Second City Saints get a new member that was originally from their worst Enemies The Prophecy?

Pairing: CM Punk x Female

Rating: M

Warnings: Very Strong Language, Graphic Rape, Strong Rough Sexuality, Strong Volience

Chapter 1

PAYBACK!

Taylor Sky is a 20-year girl and she's from Philadelphia, PA. She has been dealing with her abusive and alcoholic Father all her life. He would abuse and Rape her almost everyday. She's a sweet girl and just want to enjoy life happily and to feel loved but also has a feisty and disrespectful side that made her an out cast.

She moved to Chicago to start a new life and pursue her wrestling career to get away from her terrible life back at home. Along the way, she meets Christopher Daniel in IWA Mid South Wrestling . He was there for her and helped her become who she is today. They both broke out in Ring Of Honor along with their best friends Allision Danger, Dan Maff and BJ Whitmer aka The Prophecy she finally felt loved and wanted That is Until she ran into The Second City Saints Leader CM Punk.

CM Punk is a 24 year old punk rock who became the wrestling God of the indies. He is also Straight edge which means; he is drug free, alcohol free and he is better than you and everyone else in the world. CM Punk is the Leader of the Group The Second City Saints which consist of; Colt Cabana, Ace Steel, Lucy Furr and Traci Brooks. CM Punk is an arrogant, self proclaimed, highly disrespectful, asshole in all of Ring Of Honor. He is The Ring Of Honor Champion, The Ring Of Honor Tag Team Champion with Colt Cabana. CM Punk is not to be messed with and he is very Dangerous. Plainly CM Punk don't give a fuck!

What will happen when he meets Taylor Sky?Will She Fall In Line or will he finally be tamed?

Chapter 1

PAYBACK!

I wished this was a dream and I could just wake up to fresh smell of coffee and sun beaming down on me with birds chirping but it wasn't. This wasn't even scripted this is was as real as it gets. The people cheering had no clue this was not scripted but reality because of what happened to Lucy. I had nothing to do with her, I didn't even know her but I knew she was CM Punk's girl and all I could ask myself was 'Why BJ? Why?' I don't know what he did to Lucy but whatever he did looks like I'm the one paying the price for it.

The shit that was going down in front me scared me shitless. My tough side wouldn't even come out that's how terrified and scared I was. People told me about CM Punk and his reputation and his attitude towards others that wasn't like him. Chris told me never to Trust him, He was a monster that had to be put away and that He only cared about himself. I hated him with every fiber in me. I wanted him to burn in hell and stay there forever. He destroyed a lot of my friends careers in ROH and the last thing I wanted was to be anywhere near him. My thoughts was yanked out of me suddenly when I felt the pain of my black long stringy hair be pulled out of my head by none other than CM Punk who was angry and his grip made note of it.

"Get the fuck off me!" I yelled trying to get him off my hair but hurting myself in the process.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch! fuck you chris! this is payback for what your buddy did to lucy!" Punk yelled back at them as he begin laughing sadisticly and shoving me down on the floor towards the entrance area.

The crowd was so loud that I could even hear myself coughing from falling to the floor. I pulled my hair back behind my ear trying to focus where I was going.

Colt and Ace continued to go at The Prophecy causing the arean to go up in a roar as people begin trying to challenge CM Punk and Second City Saints.

"Punk if you hurt her I will fuck all of you up! don't play with me bitch! Dan yelled at Punk,Colt and Ace as every one in the arena knew Dan was snapping and punk was getting under his skin when he had shoved Taylor to the floor. Dan was so mad that he picked up a metal chair and threw it randomly at The Second City Saints causing the mayhem to escalate "I will fuck you up you punk ass bitch! Come get you some bitch!" Dan was fuming and trying get to punk as security tore threw the arena.

"I'll take good care of her .. Prophecy" Punk laughed maniacally and retreated to the exit doors as Colt and Ace followed him while pulling me with them forcefully. Before punk could leave and an idea came to his head and he turned around. Smiling sadisticly and laughing at the crowd who processed to threaten and scream at him  he grabbed a very terrified me against him so I was facing The Prophecy. He had a microphone in hand and held me closer to him. He begin yelling at the prophecy to pay attention to him as Chris And BJ did.

As scared as I was I had to admit to myself 'how can someone so Sexy and cute as CM Punk become like this?'

" Listen up!, I have your precious Taylor! and what I will do to her will be way worst than what you did Lucy! This is payback and I'm gonna enjoy doing what I want! When I want! and most of all as I want to her! and there's nothing you MOTHERFUCKERS can do about it! Oh and Dan if you thought me shoving her to the floor was bad just imagine that as my BED!.. Punk started laughing crazily at the idea as Dan Maff begin trying to force his way through the guards angrily "IM A FUCK YOU!" Dan yelled while being held by the guards.

"Cuz I'm gonna have so much fun doing the things you wish you did!" Punk yelled as he threw the mic at the prophecy not caring if is hit them or not. The crowd cheered still believing this was all an act and I only wish they knew how wrong they were.

"I AM CM PUNK! I AM STRAIGHT EDGE! THAT MEANS I AM DRUG FREE! ALCOHOL FREE AND THAT I AM BETTER THAN EACH AND EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!" and with that Punk retreated pulling me along to the back with Colt and Ace behind him running to the exit to there car.

Sorry it's short but I hoped you liked it. Let me know in the comments. Chapter 2 will be out tomorrow.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA:)

read the chapter, had some thoughts (per usual lmao)

First of all I am so jealous that she’s getting a well-established garden to make her own instead of starting from scratch. It would also be sweet if the gardener stayed the same or she talked to the previous owners to like bond over plants or whatever and so she could know the personal history of each one. Also I want to know if there’s anything left in the greenhouse….

Ben basically assuming that they will adopt teddy and being totally fine with that🥺 I wonder if he discussed that with her aunt and uncle but anyway that’s so amazing of him love that

I can’t wait for Josie to get there lmao going to fucking eviscerate every fuckwad in the entire ton

“I’m not a cactus” LMFAOOOOOOOO dyinggggg that’s the funniest thing. My theory that Ben thought she had a fuck buddy came true and I love that lmaooooo

All the people who love her are so thoughtful and put a lot of care into the gifts they give her and it’s so sweet to see that she’s now surrounded by people who so genuinely love her

The fact that clover was so confident in the fact that Benedict did not want kitty but was choosing her and would do so no matter what. It really shows how much she trusts him already🥺😭

also tho I wonder if she realized that she was so fiercely defensive and staunch in saying that he is in love with her or if she was consciously like ‘well no but she doesn’t know that’. Like a Freudian slip of sorts- she’s subconsciously accepted his love and trusts him; it’s just a matter becoming aware of it and her being choosing to accept it.

This is a side note but I’m not sure if you know what the semicolon project is? Anyway I had a custom necklace made that says ‘cho;ce’ to kind of signify that everyday is a choice that I get to make and I get to choose to go on and how to live my life. Like I make my own decisions and choose to accept things and where I go from here and how I get treated etc. sort of deal, which was a pretty huge thing for me.

Anyway I feel like clover kind of has to make that step for herself, where instead of living in fear and at the whims of the past and others, she gets to make her own decisions and choose how things affect her. She gets to choose to love benedict instead of relying on everyone telling her that she’s in love with him, she gets to decide that she’s going to react to things or believe certain things instead of just believing what she’s been told and living in fear of the unknown/potentially bad things that might happen.

Idk sorry that’s really long and ramble-y and idk if it made sense at all, but it’s kind of something that I felt a connection to with her but I could just be making that up lol. It’s like the scene in brave that’s like ‘I’ll shoot for my own hand’ or whatever where she’s choosing her own path. Idk this is probably super cheesy and overly optimistic lolololol ignore me over here just spewing whatever comes to mind

Anyway loved this so much but my thumbs are hurting and also I need to get out of bed to take my meds so I’ve got to go but I’ll definitely be thinking about this chapter all week (and definitely for the next 24 hrs while I wait for u to return to the askbox lmaooo).

Okay bye love u see u soon:)))

Hi my love! 🥰❤️

Yesssss she already has a gorgeous garden but I think -once she actually starts taking care of it- she will change it a little! ❤️ The gardener will stay the same as well! 🥰 She will hire him ❤️

Oh there's nothing left in the greenhouse though 😏 It's basically empty, at least for now😈

Benedict genuinely thought Teddy would stay with them and he was totally fine with it 🥰 He will be such a good example to Teddy and Teddy will look up to him so much ❤️

Josie is coming really soon! 😍 I love her already 😂

Benedict was so sure she had a fuck buddy or at least a friend with benefits 😈

Oh Clover did not realize that at all! ❤️ She didn't even think about Kitty not knowing the truth, it just felt right to her at that point to say he loved her ❤️ She is very much in denial but also, she's very possessive of Benedict already 😏 And deep down, she's very proud of the fact that he is in love with her 😏🔥

Oh I had no idea about that project darling, I will check it out rn! ❤️

You're absolutely right! ❤️ I can totally see that parallel, and there will be a time that she needs to make that choice and to acknowledge her own feelings for him instead of just ignoring them or denying them ❤️

Honeeeey you're amazing, thank you so much for this! ❤️ ILYSM! ❤️❤️❤️

[janewaypiamber]

My Answers:

1. Share a song that makes you think of [Dreams].

I have a hidden in plain sight writing Spotify playlist.

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

I haven't written enough to look back on my fics but my WIP's I look back on frequently to make sure my storys plot flows smoothly.

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

If I where to choose between the 3 fics that are published I'd choose "Dreams". If I where to include WIP's I'd say a fic I am currently working on based on the song "As It Was" by Harry Styles about Harry Kim and him coping with life post-endgame.

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

I have one posted "Dreams" on AO3 and Fanfiction.net. It is technically a work in progress. I plan for it to be around 120,000 words. Right now I have about 23,000 completed. I have 3 more that are on the brain storming step and haven't had much written or posted yet. Keep an eye out for it *wink* 😉.

My WIP's:

1) Year of Hell J/C fic

2) Kathryn Janeway's No Good Very Bad Day

3) Song Fic Harry Kim & Tom Paris friendship based on the song "As It Was" by Harry Styles.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

There was a post on Tumblr talking about Tom Paris playing a Holodeck version of grand theft auto and having Harry Kim join him. I'm not writing it because I have no idea how to write that. If I where to write it it would be with the help from my brothers. They play GTA and would be a good source but they need to watch Voyager.

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

I have so many but will link it here:

1) The Way the Wind Blows by Shonetta on Ff.net

Chakotay meets a young Janeway from the past.

2) The Absence of Light by northernexposure

(J/C fic) Janeway and Chakotay are captured by an unknown species and are held in a cold and pitch dark cell.

3) 2013 by PCBW

(J/C fic) Janeway and Chakotay are thrown back in time to the year 2013 and try to find a way back to Voyager

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

So many but I have about 24.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

I am currently working on drafting a Song Fic that I will make a series. The first ff will be a hurt/comfort fic Harry & Paris centered. It's based off the song "As It Was" by Harry Styles. Harry Kim has had a hard time adjusting to life back on earth and has been falling into a depressive episode. Tom with alittle help from B'elanna have a heart to heart with Harry.

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!

I used to write everyday November 2022 to March 2023 but I haven't written since. I am moving 1,500 miles and I am preparing for that. Doesn't mean I am not writing stuff in my head. It's not on paper yet.

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

My Fic "Wouldn't it be Loverly?". Is set in Resolutions on New Earth and Kathryn Janeway sings a song from the play and movie "My Fair Lady". I didn't expect for it to do well. I wrote it because I wanted it to exist for me. I planned it and wrote it all in one day and I have gotten a lot of good feedback.

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

I do! I have a playlist for almost every character of Voyager. I made it myself besides Harry Kim's. When I made the playlist it helped me get into the mindset of the character and ship.

Enjoy 🤗:

⚠️B'elanna Torres playlist coming soon.⚠️

⚠️Seven of Nine Playlist in the works⚠️

⚠️The Doctor / EMH playlist in construction ⚠️

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!

Refer to questions 1 and 11.

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

Do I plan on paper? No. I mainly plan my writing while I go about my day. I get certain strikes of inspiration and note it down in my Google keep app. I plan a lot before writing. I have the main idea, plot, and some small idea I want included. I don't always have an ending in mind which is why I am building a plethora of WIP's.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

I don't have one yet. I haven't written many fics yet but I'm sure this answer will change over time. But if I were to have someone else's fic adapted I would have @bizships fic "Timeless Moments" and Shonetta's fic "Way the Wind Blows" (Link in question 6).

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

I sometimes use song titles or try to summarize the chapter as much as possible in a few words. It's controlled chaos really...

16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles?

I come up with titles almost immediately with some WIP's and with others it takes quite awhile. I make a list and try it out as the title of my Google doc. I then settle on one.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

I learned so much about Native American culture, religion, and language writing my fic "Dreams". I was writing Chakotay having a vision of his father Kolopak. I wanted Chakotay to have a childhood nickname so I chose the word my son in the Mayan language.

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

My WIP (mentioned in question 4 as WIP number 1) currently titled "Putting Pen to Paper". A super rough draft enjoy:

As Kathryn Janeway moved forward she felt a hard thump on her boot as she stepped forward. It was Chakotay's journal. She picked it up and blew the dust off it, revealing the gold leaf details on the forest green hard cover, arranged in a vine pattern. She picked it up and continued forward, hoping Neelix wouldn't see the importance that was contained within this small books pages. She opened her tricorder once more and started to scan. It immediately beeped, detecting silver. She moved some pieces of debris and uncovered her pocket watch.

After observing the vast damages on the ship all Janeway wanted was to talk to her first officer about the crew's next steps. She missed her sounding board. Her confidant. She sighed as she cleared a pile of rubble off her couch. Would Voyager make it through this hopeless bombardment. Would she or the crew get home? Was this the end of the road and they had to settle on another planet?

Her pondering was put to an end as her eyes difted around the room and stopping on a green book sitting on the table. She picked up the book and caressed the cover once more. Feeling as if Chakotay was with her now she opened to the first page seeing the words written in Chakotay's hand writing.

Dear Sakaya,

I am writing this to you to document my time in the Delta Quadrant. I hope that you will never get to read this and that I can tell you it all in person when I am back but hopefully this will bring me some peace in my life. It has been about 2 months since my ship was captured by an alien who calls himself the caretaker. My ship isn't the only one to be taken from the badlands. A federation ship that was sent by starfleet to capture us was also taken by the caretaker. The captain of the Federation ship Voyager is taken by a crew of 50 to join hers. There was alot of talk amongst the crew of whether or not the crew should be a federation ship or maquis but I decided to stick to the federation ideals and fall in line. I did so because it was in my crews best interest to navigate home if we had the structure of federation guidelines as opposed to the near lawlessness of the maquis. The maquis way worked during battle and not when that battle was over 70,000 lightyears away. Sister, I know I never visited you and your family before I left starfleet. Just know I miss you and regret that decision. I miss you and (name of husband) I hope my nephew grows big and strong and learns of our people. I hope to fill this book so that when I get home this can be placed in history. I would enter this into the computer or dictate by voice but there's a relationship we all have by putting pen to paper.

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

I don't have one yet. I only posted 3 fics so far but I'm excited to continue to write "Dreams". I love the idea for the song fic "As it was". Right now I feel as if my fics are my children and I can't pick a favorite.

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Yes, it's the worst! While writing for "Dreams" I had a lot of episodes I wanted to cover but it didn't really fit the plot or shifted it to another place or added too much darkness to it. I plan to release them as a series of outakes. I want to see these enjoyed by others.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

With my fic "Dreams" I have an idea of where its headed bit not exactly how it's going to end. Not having an ending for me causes writers block to form and that's why the fic is on hiatus. My 3 WIP's will have an ending planned before I post them.

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

I have only written one multi-chapter fic and I choose to end it when I hit about 5,000-7,000 words. This is because I want my audience to have bite sized and digestible peices. I don't want to over whelm them.

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Yes, I started crying while writing the beginning portion of Chakotay meeting with his father again in my fic "Dreams". It hit really close to home for me.

26. Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see?

Honestly, I don't want my family to see most of my romantic scenes. Im really self conscious about it I have no clue why.

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

Yes. It is a dabble based on a Tumblr post set of gifs. It hasn't gained mich traction and was written in one day. I was hesitant to post it.

28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”?

No and I haven't read one. 😳 (But I am not one to judge others tastes in ff).

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

I have a whole series that I will be posting outtakes from my Fanfic "Dreams".

I’m Bored and Anxious So I Slapped Together a List of Fan Fic Writer Asks

1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title] 2. Do you read/reread your own fics? 3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? 4. How many WIPs do you have right now? 5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write? 6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? 7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now? 8. What project(s) are you currently working on? 9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written! 10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? 11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics? 12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it! 13. How much planning do you do before writing? 14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? 15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? 16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles? 17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? 18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic? 19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs. 20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written? 21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why? 22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing? 23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)? 24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s). 25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? 26. Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see? 27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? 28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”? 29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.) 30. Ask anything!