#chapter 1 is not yet finished
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WIP (no longer) Wednesday
Thanks for the summon @eilinelsghost. A snippet from Fingon's Kingship WiP:
Fingon feels Maglor’s eyes upon him throughout the modest feast. His cousin watches him between words and sips of red wine as carefully measured as the notes of his musical compositions. Maglor does not speak of battles or brothers, not yet, he waits. Ever since they were children in Valinor, people had always praised Maglor for his voice, his unsurpassed talent in stirring hearts with a single note, but Fingon knows otherwise, for Maglor’s greatest skill is patience. In this, he is Nerdanel’s son, one who excels in the art of stillness, in seeking the right moment, and in listening. He always listens, it is why he understands music to its very foundation. Maglor listens now to every word Fingon says, he captures the subtle changes in the pitch of Fingon’s voice when they mention Himring in passing. Maglor waits patiently, but Fingon has long run out of patience. He had been patient for close to four hundred years only for the fires to scorch it all. No longer. ‘Why have you come, Maglor? Did Maedhros send you to pacify me?’ ‘No one has sent me anywhere.’ His cousin does not look startled. ‘What is it you want then?’ ‘I have come to end this war.’ Fingon lets out a laugh as sharp as Húrin’s liquor he has been drinking with his dinner. ‘Well, cousin, if you had a solution to defeating Morgoth why did you not say so the moment you arrived?’ ‘I meant the war between you and Maedhros. It is ridiculous and we have more pressing matters.’ ‘More pressing matters than Finrod’s death? Have you moved on so quickly?’ Fingon’s voice is now certainly causing heads to turn toward them. He does not care, this wound is still bleeding open and he cannot pretend it is not there even if he tried.
no pressure tagging @gwaedhannen @thelordofgifs @jouissants @zealouswerewolfcollector if you want to share a few lines from a wip (I think that's what this game is about lol)
#wips#fingon#maglor#finrod#they are rotting my brain atm#this is chapter 5 I think#chapter 1 is not yet finished#but we can rush ahead why shoudn't we
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Just finished a chapter of a WIP that's been on my desktop since February. Feeling pretty good about it.
#i've got a train of multi chapter fics going on archive at the moment#ive got the ending worked out now so i hope i can finish it before i finish posting the current one#not doing the ending quite yet though because i want to traumatize Buck and Eddie a bit more first#And I'm so excited because there's a line that i really liked from the rough draft that i made obsolete in the second version#but the new chapter sets up a situation where i can put it back in#with a different context but im just happy i can still use it because its gold#ao3 author#ao3#9 1 1#fan fiction#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie
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TFOTA update (major spoilers for book 1): chapter 20
this book just keeps throwing plot twist after plot twist after plot twist on me and I'm falling for every.single.one. gosh. first jude kidnaps the human girl to free her into the mortal world, and she drowns herself? Then Dain yells at Jude for the thing I WASN'T expecting (stabbing Valerian) and then Jude fucking KILLS Valerian not even a few minutes later, then buried the body in HER house, then Balekin gatecrashes and slaughters almost everyone in his fucking blood line in the matter of MINUTES. Madoc kills Dain?? And ghost kills Caelia?? Rhyia kills herself?? Taryn and Locke might secretly have an affair??
Jude feels pleasure in seeing Cardan miss out on the coronation bc he got drunk which is ironically the best thing he did bc he dodged a bullet?? Now Cardan is the only hope elfhame has, which is also super ironic since Jude was marvelling over how glad she was that cardan wasn't ever going to be king in the first few chapters.
I NEED A MOMENT TO TAKE ALL THIS IN
#I just whispered holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck the entire time I was reading#I'm speechless#How does one come up with this many plot twists without making it seem clunky#Holly you are a mastermind ily#Gosh this chapter has me in shambles#I haven't even finished book 1 yet i know I'm officially roped into this fandom#For me it's the way Dain and valerian died so casually like-#i genuinely wanted to see more of Dain so I'm kinda disappointed.#I thought his dynamic with Jude would be very interesting in an acquaintance pov like what all could Jude have achieved w the help of Dain?#Valerian can go to hell tho#Poor elowyn :(( she died so suddenly and for no reason aswell#I'm already started to feel dread of what Taryn is going to do to Jude#I'm excited to see jurdan tho eee#tfota#the folk of the air#the cruel prince#tfota series#madoc tfota#cardan greenbriar#prince cardan#jude duarte#dain greenbriar#balekin greenbriar#the cruel prince series#taryn duarte#locke#folk of the air#madoc#tcp
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After a month of procrastination hard work, chapter 3 of To Be Loved (And to Be In Love) is finally finished!!
This is Old Lady Margaery's debut in my fic so that's pretty neat.
#shoot from the hip#the unrelenting aubergine#sfth ditch#sfth fanfiction#junyu's fanfics#please read this I need validation to survive :(#(/j)#it's like 1 am right now and I have school tomorrow and yet I stayed up finishing this damn chapter#quoting myself: the things I do for fanfiction...#anyways I really hope y'all enjoy this cause it took me way to long to write it lol
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...so that mpreg soriel fic is extremely fucking good
#ns4w#I haven't finished it yet.... little over halfway through#got a few things to say about the characterization in the later story but the first 1-2 chapters would already make a phenomenal standalone#if pregnancy fics make you uncomfortable (like me. i pulled through despite it all) you can just stop at chapter 2#oh also there's sex there. it's rated M so no kids#shoo#underfic
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Guess who found his first ever V3 fanart from. jesus christ. two and a half years ago?
#shut up me#Kaede from my notes app!! I hadn't finished chapter 1 yet this is from november 7th 2021!!#insane. Ive come so far#pluto doodles#no id
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I’m gonna go ramble about Project: Eden’s Garden a little bit so if you don’t know what I’m talking about then you don’t have to read this lol. Also some minor spoilers for chapter 1 maybe
I find it really strange how Tozu’s theme song name is “The Court Jester’s Smile.” Maybe it’s in reference to the fact that he’s clearly putting on some kind of performance, whether that be for an audience or for the students (and how his mask kinda resembles a comedy mask if you squint), but why is it “Court Jester” and not something like the “Ringmaster” or something.
Tozu is essentially the mastermind as far as we believe, so that would make sense, right? But court jesters are supposed to be silly little entertainers for the king. For a higher power than himself.
So what does this mean? Maybe Tozu is not actually the mastermind in this killing game. Maybe he’s more like Monokuma in the sense that he’s a mascot front for the true mastermind, like how Monokuma was the mascot robot controlled by Junko. It would explain the weird plushies.
So who is he actually preforming for? Is the audience, in a way, the real mastermind? Is there a bigger baddie behind the scenes? Maybe
#project: eden's garden#project: eden’s garden theory#also I didn’t finish chapter 1 yet so I could be missing something
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i'm sorry i'm sorry i know my 911 posting is like years out of date but they really had buck say "i've been ana" to eddie's face and i'm supposed to feel normal and platonic about it??
#9-1-1#911#evan buckley#buck buckley#eddie diaz#ana flores#buddie#like i am trying so hard to finish this stupid phd chapter in the next two days and i have been not logging on for idk how long like a week#and i saw this episode probably also about a week ago and YET#i cannot stop thinking about this#if they were not trying to do a slowburn what are they trying to do#am i actually getting queerbaited by the weewoo show or am i just impatient
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My Sally Face game screenshots so far, spoilers for the game and cw for blood/gore.
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#evantalks#sally face#sally face spoilers#sal fisher#sally face game#cw blood#cw: gore#spoilers#larry johnson#chapter 1#chapter 2#not finished with the game yet
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Berdley from Deltarune is Kenough!
#i love deltarune#i haven’t finished chapter 2 yet#the queen fight is so hard and for what#real tags ->#your fave is kenough#your fave is#berdley#berdly#deltarune#berdley deltarune#deltarune chapter 2#deltarune chapter one#deltarune chapter two#deltarune chapter 1#kenough
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my favorite thing about stories, be it books or manga, tv shows or movies, or even epic poems and recited songs, is that they never really end -- the part we tell might end: there will always be a last page, or a last episode, a list minute, or a last line, but not really -- because even if it ends here, the story itself keeps on going -- in your heart, in your mind, in the hearts and minds of everyone who's read it or watched it, listened to it or sang it.
and the best part of all that is, even if it does "end", you can go right back to the beginning and start again.
because yes, stories end. the ending will always be there.
but then, so will the beginning.
#🌧 raindrops#writeblr#spilled ink#writers on tumblr#i have such a love of stories and storytelling#i will never shut up about it#and yes. this is specifically about haikyuu currenlty bc i cannot tell u the number of times ive rewatched it or better yet#reread the entire manga start to finish#and i'll keep doing it; i'll do it again and again#and the beautiful thing is after i close out the last chapter#i know i can scroll right back and chapter 1 will be right there waiting for me#sure fandoms and popularity of a specific franchise might wax and wane but the thing itself?#that exists for you to consume and reconsume as many times as you want#and that fact makes me so inexplicably happy i dont know what to do with myself#tl;dr -- i love haikyuu.#lmao thats the long and short of it rly
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Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (But really Vargas lol) Rating: Teen and up Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
What, exactly, did Scriabin take from Edgar when they separated?
My first multichapter fic for Vargas! :D Yay!
(Pls read Ch. 1 first - Ch. 2 is also recommended, but as long as you're caught up on the first, you're good to go!)
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Side B
What the fuck.
"It's, it's possible that if, maybe whatever happened earlier, whatever caused all that blood and for us to be knocked unconscious-"
What the fuck.
"-and if I suffered a head injury, then maybe-"
No. That's enough.
Scriabin pushed away from the closet door he'd defensively pressed himself up against and put his hands on Edgar's shoulders, which quieted him. He looked at him expectantly, with eyes that Scriabin somehow only just now realized were casually guarded, curious, uncertain in a way that denoted inexperience. That was so messed up, that was completely wrong. Edgar should've been on guard, absolutely, but only because he knew exactly what Scriabin was capable of. He really didn't want to look at him right now if this was what he was going to be seeing instead.
He spun him quickly and pushed him out the door before he could protest. He got one last look at those wide, confused eyes before he slammed the door behind him, bracing it shut with both hands for good measure.
What. The fuck. His head came forward, making a dull thud as his forehead connected with the door. He doesn't remember me? His fingers curled on the door. What does he mean he doesn't remember me?! How could he not know me?! One hand pushed through his hair; his scalp tingled and that was so weird, he felt it and it was so weird- We literally just- He literally just-! As if pulling him screaming into life wasn't bad enough, now he had decided to play some sick prank!
This can't be true. It's just like him to try and make jokes at the worst possible time, he has no tact.
There was a timid knock on the other side of the door. Scriabin jumped as it resonated through his skull, his elbow, pressed to the door with his hand buried in his hair, set his jaw. Then silence.
If he was really trying to get back in, clear things up, say he was only kidding, he'd actually try.
Nothing.
Scriabin's blood was ice as he went over it again. The way he'd said his name. The vacant look in his eyes as he said it, like his mouth knew its shape but none of the meaning. No fear, no realization, nothing that really felt like Edgar, just sound, just noise.
Maybe he really had-
Oh god. His knees gave out, and his arms had no practice at holding him upright, not yet. His hand slid down the door, his other hand guarding his head as his hair fluffed against the grain.
How could he do this
This is all his fault
Stupid, idiotic
He can't do this to me
I can't believe him
I can't believe this
How dare he leave me alone like this
Thoughts spiralling, and all he could do was hold himself down, press his fingers into the back of his neck, force his chest to his knees and maybe he wouldn't immolate under it all. He was shaking, from tension or fear he couldn't tell, his mind too hazardous and loud to cut through it all. He was shaking, dizzy, and if he moved, letting go would surely kill him.
He can't do this to me.
He breathed. And breathed. And swallowed. Eyes closed, heart pounding, sure. Confusion and dismay, whatever. Pain. Fine. So be it.
This isn't like me. A hand untethered from his vice grip in his hair, and he stayed attached to the floor. It connected with the carpet below him and became a new lifeline. He pushed up and away into a limp sit, arms already burning slightly from holding himself up after all that. He shook his head mildly. This isn't who I'm going to be in life. His body, this fear response be damned, he was in control now.
Regroup. Let's- a mental pause, barely a quarter of a second long as he turned the word in his head. Let's pretend it's all true- what does that mean?
He flopped over, leaned upright with his back against the door, heels of his fists pushed down into the carpet to scootch closer. Moving was so awkward still, very unfitting.
He was acting normal. Well, Edgar's baseline for "normal" had changed considerably, so maybe put an asterisk on that. Not that he was ever normal to begin with, but normal-for-Edgar, -ish. That means he has to have some memory.
Scriabin held out a hand, arm slung over his knee, one finger held out. He had recognized his glasses. One. The apartment. Two. Which key to use. Three. He had said Todd's name. Four.
His stuff can be discounted, he's had all that for a while. Back down to one. The kid is a new fixture. Which means he remembers the last couple months at least. He shook his head and brought his hand up to comb through his hair. Well...it's fuzzy for me, so it probably is for him, too. Scriabin remembered everything in as much clarity as the last couple months allowed, there was no way Edgar would know more even if he had all his memories.
Speaking of which, Scriabin could remember everything. He flipped through; the last two months and bringing Todd in, Edgar's parting words to Johnny, his and Devi's conversation - he grit his teeth - and further back, everything along the way, all the way back. False dreams, shared childhoods, everything that was once Edgar's alone, he still remembered it. Nothing was out of place which made it all the more strange!
This is so fucking weird, if I remember everything, then why would he-
He stopped short. His purported purpose had been to replace Edgar. Take him over completely. If he bought into the conceit for a moment, just to play in the space... He was alive now. That was not as intended; it shouldn't even have been possible.
Did he...give me his memories? Like, all the way? Not just to borrow, to shape him, give him legitimacy - he was alive now. His own person. Separate, embodied, and whole. Was this the price of life?
That's stupid. But possible, he couldn't discount. If this - he brought his hands up and looked down at them, watched himself touch his own chest and felt it beneath his coat, shirt, the nerves firing as his slid his fingers up himself - if this was possible, then...
He continued for a moment, curious and reverant, all of him new and privately exciting, to exist and to touch, to feel, smell, see, all of it clear and fresh and penetrated deeply into his mind, as if a layer of film had been lifted from his senses. The moment passed as the memories, unbidden but important, cluttered in around him again.
There were still a lot of questions, and most of them couldn't be answered without Edgar, ugh. If getting anything out of him before had been like pulling teeth, he was very sobered to think about how it might be now. Depending on how much Edgar remembered, maybe he could start piecing things together.
Did he do it on purpose? Did he know this would happen? There's no way he would have been willing to if he had- But he couldn't ask him things like that. Even if he did remember, admitting something like that...
He was just spinning his wheels at this point. Better to gather what he could from the man himself. He looked up, preparing to stand.
Ah-
The room was still in something of a state.
Edgar would be annoying, or at least distracted by trying to pick up the clothes and uncarefully unpacked items strewn about the floor from Scriabin's very successful excavation of his old glasses. The clutter would have to go if he wanted his full attention.
He grumbled as he pushed off the door to pick up the first few things. First day of life and I'm already his maid. Figures. He's always needed me to clean up after him.
Silence.
Somehow it only just hit him. Thinking alone in the late hours, planning things behind Edgar's back, it was nothing new. But a barb unsunk into his mental flesh was left out in the wide emptiness, poised to stab whoever happened upon it next, and he was the only one here.
He felt very small all of a sudden, and he didn't like it at all.
His eyes blankly scanned the room, looking for nothing, until they settled on the toy at Edgar's bedside. His toy.
He dropped the items he'd bundled into his arms and made his way over. He picked up the small simulacrum, turned it over in his hands once, and stared at it.
He wouldn't know this. Not really. He brushed a thumb up and over the little mouth, the contours of its small face. Retroactively, I've never been this at all.
I'm no one to him.
Does this mean we can start over? The thought struck him like lightning, freezing his heart in his chest. He was fixed solid, staring down at the small figure in his hands.
Before he could even think, he'd already thrown it through the open closet door, landing noisily in the box he'd dug through with a clatter. He grabbed up the fallen clothes and items and stuffed them back in the box, burying the toy in mundane detritus, then closed the cardboard flaps and slammed the door of the closet for good measure.
His breath was laboured and he glared, like wishing it gone would make the closet itself disappear.
Answers. He needed answers, more than anything.
He ripped the door open, and there was Edgar who looked up, staring dumbly back at him and carrying the clothes he'd shed earlier over his arm. Something in his mind clicked over, and he didn't think about it.
"Alright," he caught his breath for half a second, "what do you remember?"
Edgar just kept on staring, mouth open, eyes unconfident behind weak glasses. Scriabin huffed irritably, I don't have time for this, and moved towards him, arm outstretched.
"Come on." Edgar gave a small startled sound behind him as he grabbed his collar and dragged him through the doorway. He threw him across the room, not bothering to watch his arc as he closed the door behind him. The bed was that way, he'd be fine.
When he turned back, Edgar had managed to catch himself, though already halfway on the bed. Scriabin stood with his back to the door, feet planted and he crossed his arms. No more speculating around impossibilities, tangible and present as they might be, it was time for a proper interrogation. It was at least preferable to-
Edgar made a face at him and scooted back, offering a seat next to him on the bed. Equal footing briefly flashed through his mind and while he wouldn't consider it ideal, nothing today was really going his way. He sighed, then made his way over and sat across from Edgar, who was eyeing him with a certain degree of caution. At least the feeling was mutual.
"Spill." He re-crossed his arms and leaned towards Edgar. "What do you know?"
Edgar hesitated, apparently thinking, his hands laced and fingers agitatedly if quietly rubbing the backs of his hands.
"I want to verify some things first."
Scriabin snorted dismissively. Where had Edgar's overly-trusting nature gone? A serial killer, well he's an honoured guest, but Scriabin? He didn't even distrust him for the right reasons.
He gestured with an open hand, Go ahead, then tucked his arm back in.
"Todd's last name?"
Pfsh. At least it was proof enough that anything Edgar knew, Scriabin did as well. As expected.
"Casil. His stupid bear's called Shmee in case you forgot that too." Edgar shook his head. No he hadn't? If only he could just check!
"Do you know our phone number?" Obviously he did, so he rattled it off quickly, Edgar nodding in turn. He flipped his hair in time with the last digit, careful to keep his eyes covered. It was a bit of a timid attempt, being the first in this body, which was a minor blessing he supposed.
Edgar mulled over what he'd given him for a moment, then a moment longer, then a moment even longer. His eyes searched absently, gazing down into his own hand, his other on his chin, lightly thumbing his goatee. He was focused on names and numbers, but those were child's play compared to everything, everything Scriabin still wanted to know. It was frustrating on a visceral level, watching him struggle with such simple innocuous nothings while the most important person in his life was sitting right in front of him.
He was supposed to be the most important.
It was frustrating.
"You really don't remember anything, do you?" He didn't hide the sneer as it shaped his voice - odd the way his body just did that now, did things without him actively thinking them into being. Even things like the little waver that made its way in that he pushed back down and under. He was frustrated, angry, tired - any emotionality could be attributed to those, nothing else.
Edgar didn't answer, just kept his gaze locked to his face. That was almost worse. Watching him fumble through things, it wasn't fun, but at least he wasn't trying to pry. He could see him try to look past his bangs, and the fact that he didn't know better...
Scriabin looked away for a moment, then thought better of it. Best defense is a good offense.
He reached for Edgar's face, for those damn scars, ever-present reminders. Edgar shied away, not wanting to be touched suddenly by someone he didn't know. As if Scriabin had ever cared about that.
Well, things were different now. Maybe he didn't really want to touch him anyway. Not yet.
"Do you remember these...?" Instead he framed his face with his hands less than an inch from his skin, and even there he could feel the heat coming off him. Edgar reached for his face, looking away from Scriabin as he touched the angry red marks. He winced minutely, then glanced back at Scriabin, searching him, his expression guarded again. Scriabin could hear his own pulse in his ears.
"...Johnny?"
"Fuck." Fuck! "Of course you'd remember him but not me." God damn it! It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, just because Johnny came first by a hair's breadth, just because he wasn't in Edgar's head, with Edgar's fucked up little obsession with the murderous stick figure- It limited what he could get away with too, if he remembered that far back. Absolutely nothing was going in his favour.
"I'm sorry..." He sounded genuinely remorseful, and it stuck in his throat. Disgusting. "So you know Johnny, too."
"Unfortunately." Scriabin tucked his chin to his chest, arms crossed again in close proximity. This sucks. Edgar just kept rambling, unaware as ever. His excuses held this time at least, one point in his favour, no points for bringing his annoying habits with him despite everything.
"I don't think I've seen him for a couple months now? Everything's awfully..." He gave a vague gesture and Scriabin uncurled slightly. He was giving him room to contribute. He shook his head.
"You haven't."
"Have you?"
He returned to his tight coil of sulking. Not like he was keen to meet up and chat, but he couldn't explain why he hadn't had the opportunity to either.
"I remember he called, too."
"Ugh," barely above breath. Enough about Johnny! Again, Edgar continued obliviously.
"Although I don't really recall what we talked about, not for a while..."
Of course not. I took over for half of those.
He perked a bit, and Edgar focused more on him, patiently setting his hands in his lap.
"You know."
He could play this to his advantage. Give Johnny some well-deserved karmic justice for fucking him over so many times. It was almost better that Edgar didn't know - Scriabin had been trying to get him away from Johnny all this time, and if he really had forgotten everything, not just the moments when Scriabin took over but every moment they had shared, then that meant it coincided almost perfectly with his first meeting with Johnny. Blank spot after blank spot after blank spot, all lined up immediately after getting his face slashed.
He could work with that.
"It's probably trauma." Edgar startled and his hand shot to his temple, lightly touching his hair.
"Like, head trauma?" Scriabing almost laughed. Yeah, probably that too. But that wouldn't help his case.
"No." He leaned in, taking a more intimate, secretive tone. "Think about it. When did things start getting fuzzy?" If he was right on this - which of course he was, but not being able to verify, not being able to see that he was right, it was disconcerting - but if he was, Edgar's memories of Scriabin should start with that first fateful encounter, give or take. A bit of reframing here, a touch of implication there... It probably wasn't even an outright lie; if Edgar's memory were perfect after experiencing everything Johnny had put them through, that would be some kind of twisted miracle.
His only real concern was their "childhood" - how much had Scriabin pulled with him? Would that throw off his story? But that was so far back, there was no way Scriabin or Johnny could be implicated in that. As long as Edgar didn't bring it up before he thought his way around it...
Edgar stayed quiet for a long while. His eyes raced behind closed eyelids, searching, scanning, retracing - Scriabin could almost see the moments where he hesitated, stopped and went back, then starting recollecting again. He wished he could see it for real, watch him unfold himself, touch those memories again, hold up his own in contrast. Even just hear Edgar's thoughts as they went by, feel the emotions he felt. But he couldn't, so he just stared as unblinkingly as this new body would allow, just watched as Edgar went over everything on his own.
He finally opened his eyes, staring back into Scriabin's though he was sure they were still hidden. He felt naked and awkward and Edgar still hadn't said anything. If he could just see like he was supposed to, or if Edgar would just tell him, he wouldn't have to ask. I have to do everything around here.
"It was after you met him, wasn't it?"
"You think it's...mental trauma?" An unspoken 'yes.' Relief flooded him, and he pushed ahead.
"Edgar. He stabbed you." Edgar gripped his shoulder, his eyes closing again and he looked to be in pain. That was a very effective reminder at least. "Do you even know why?" He shook his head and spoke throught half-grit teeth.
"I must have made him mad, but I don't remember-" Of course not, I did that.
"Your mind is trying to protect you." Not. But one of us has to with your inexhaustable deathwish. Scriabin reached out to touch him properly, but Edgar pulled away. He didn't follow, still not yet. Play up the pity. "He messed you up so bad," with a curl in his tone, an I told you so that barely made it to words even privately; how long had he been holding that in? "Surely you must've felt like you wanted, you needed to get away from him, that he wasn't good for you, that you-" He'd told him so many times, some it must have stuck, some of it had to have-
"Then-!" Edgar's eyes shot open, wide and desperate with an edge of disbelief. A strangled gasp escaped him, half-choking him as he tried to speak. "Then why can't I remember you?!"
He almost began rolling off the cuff, but really, he still didn't know for sure. And it definitely wasn't like he could tell the truth even if he wanted to; who, who hadn't lived it, would believe him? Edgar certainly wouldn't, not with his lack of imagination. He had to dress this up, weave a narrative that was plausible, had the perfect mix of truth and falsehood to stand up to scrutiny.
Huh. Ironic.
"I..." No. Some of this was Edgar's fault too. "We...argued."
"Argued?"
"I... Mng." He wanted to aim for some kind of levity, but his throat had tightened on him. He just wanted to tell this stupid inside joke and not have it affect him, not have it mean anything, and here he was getting emotional? He'd say it and fucking mean it. "It's not like I'm in your head, so-" spat out in a rush, there, he'd said it. Haha, isn't that so funny. He swallowed harshly, pushing down everything he felt into his stomach acid. He was in control. He was fine. This didn't shake him. "I can't know for sure," another humourless laugh inside, "but I was against your relationship with Johnny. Maybe you shut me out so you could keep seeing him with no pushback."
It certainly wasn't outside the realm of possibilities of what Edgar would do to avoid taking Scriabin's extremely basic advice about fraternizing with serial killers. How many times had he been ignored up to this point, only to culminate in the ultimate 'I don't know what you're talking about.' Pfeh. I bet he wishes he'd thought of this sooner. It did nothing for his painfully stuttered pulse.
"You know, I've been trying to convince you to stop going back to him for a while, but, well..." He waved his hand at Edgar's hand still death gripped into his shoulder, and Edgar averted his eyes guiltily. At least he showed some remorse. Better than his nigh constant apologia.
He stayed quiet a moment longer, and just before Scriabin made to fill the silence again, Edgar struck him with an intense look.
"What are you to me?" Ugh. Of course. There was not a single good answer for that. Even if he told him everything- no, especially if he told him everything, there was no way Edgar would believe him. But coming up with a convincing lie on the spot, when they were so clearly something to each other - even he needed time to come up with something workable. How could he have ever prepared for a situation like this? It was never meant to happen, so many things were never meant to happen!
He continued at Scriabin's silence. "You know Nny," Ugh! Even his awful nickname. "And Todd. And...me." He couldn't refute it, so he nodded tightly. "Do you live here?"
Technically he had, and technically he hadn't. Still, going forward, it would be easier to let Edgar assume that he did. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go at the moment anyway.
"Yes."
"Are we..." He searched him, looked him over as much as he could and he wasn't subtle about it. If only Scriabin had his proper glasses, he'd let him look as much he wanted, behold his spectacle! As it was, he just felt self-conscious and it was very unbefitting. "...family?"
The baggage on that. He did not feel like opening that particular can of worms in either of their current states. He turned his head and flipped through any number of halfway decent ways to phrase it until he hit on something Edgar would remember. Better not to contradict for now.
"You told Johnny you have no family when you met."
"That's true..." Edgar blinked, processing. "Wait, did I tell you that?" Scriabin startled. Even after he'd accounted for his memory! Of course he had to pick his story apart now, he never knew when to leave well enough alone.
"When you-" No, he had to be involved. "When we bandaged your face."
Edgar mulled on that for a few seconds, taking on a thoughtful pose. "I only remember being alone."
"You don't remember me at all. What do you want from me?" He huffed.
"No, sorry, you're right."
"Thank you." He was right!
Where had Edgar expected him to be? There was something weird about how he'd said it. He filed the thought away for later.
"So, if you've been living here, where..." Edgar looked around the room, then back to Scriabin. "Where have you been sleeping? Todd's already on the couch..."
Scriabin couldn't help as a smile sprung to his face. If he was going to present him with such a perfect opportunity, well, he'd better take it. He even had the decency to look nervous in response! This was too good.
"Would you believe me if I said right here, in bed?" He again tucked his chin, playfully this time, his hair falling further in his eyes. Even through the dark tangles he could make out Edgar's face immediately bristling with heat.
Ooh. That's such a fetching shade on you, my dear.
"But-! I, I haven't been sleeping on the floor!" He was visibly sweating!
"Correct." His smile grew. This was too easy, and he needed an easy win right about now.
"W-" He leaned forward on his legs, though refused to get any closer. When he spoke it was a harsh whisper. "Why...?"
Scriabin shrugged easily, not bothering to reign in his smile in the least. "I mean, where else, right?" He leaned in since Edgar refused to, and oh. He was blushing all the way up to his scalp. Hilarious. "You certainly didn't seem to mind." He couldn't hold back the slightly musical tone or his eyebrows inclination to move on their own. His body knew what he was getting at, and he could see it only increased Edgar's fluster. All the better.
"Well I do now!" Edgar darted up and away, stumbling in his hasty retreat. "If you'll excuse me!" though he was already practically in the hallway by the time he said it. What a display, and Scriabin's laugh was loud and natural.
Finally, something positive. He'd managed to fumble his way through, not his best work in lying or manipulation, but he'd set some important groundwork. He'd gotten some answers, and he could start to shape some more believable stories around them.
The biggest hurdles were Johnny and Devi. As long as Edgar didn't meet with them too soon - or well, at all would be preferable, but he doubted he could just keep him locked up, as much as the idea appealed to him. There were so many things that were possible now, things that he had the ability to do, given the right circumstances... All of that in due time. For now he had a yarn to spin.
He listened as Edgar fumbled in the hall, the sheer sound of cloth being pulled and folded over an arm barely perceptable. Was he really going to try to sleep on what little was left over? Maybe he'd give up once he realized the pickings were thin and beg Scriabin to let him sleep with him. Hah.
While he was out, Scriabin made his way over to the pajamas drawer. They were all old and soft, even just to his hand. They'd do for now, until he could get his own. It wasn't like he hadn't worn all this before anyway.
By the time he'd finished dressing, his clothes discarded on the opposite side of the bed to where Edgar had set up his little nest, Edgar had finally gotten himself a set of pajamas. He wondered for a moment if he'd dress with Scriabin in the room again, though maybe his intense stare drove him off. Who could say. He patted the bed with a wide grin when he returned and was dutifully ignored. He settled down to the side, and Scriabin laid on his arms to look down at him.
"Ugh, lame."
"I don't-"
"Yeah, whatever." He'd heard it all before. At least he could literally look down on him like this. He folded his hands and leaned just a bit further, looking him over. A desire he hadn't realized he had surfaced in the dark and quiet. "Give me your hand."
"Sorry?" Scriabin held out his hand expectantly.
"I used to hear your heart beat every day." Edgar looked at him incredulously, but Scriabin was unperturbed. "Let me hear it again."
He hesitated but eventually slowly offered his arm. "...Okay."
He pulled his arm up and placed his thumb against his wrist. He felt a strange mismatch - where he'd been expecting one heartbeat, there were two. He covered his surprise, near shock at the realization that of course he had his own body now, by pulling harder on Edgar's arm, directing him up to his ear.
"Wh-"
"Shh." Quietly. He had wanted this, wanted this body, this separation, this freedom for so long, and now... He spoke quietly, his voice betraying nothing. "I'm listening."
Edgar's pulse was erratic, but he hardly paid attention to it. His own fingers on Edgar's skin, warm and pliant, and Edgar's fingers twitching in his hair, he could feel it, he was trying not to touch him- This hesitation was killing him, every jerky movement away not from fear of what Scriabin could do to him, just uncertainty, like he was still a stranger- He pressed him harder to his head, and he could feel goosebumps under his fingers. He wanted to just hold him there until all the memories they'd shared poured back through him, into his blood, into his breath.
Where are you?
But he replied in that same uncertain, guarded tone that indicated he didn't know, not really.
"C...can I have my arm back now?"
He pushed him away. "Fine." Edgar curled his hand protectively against his chest, and he noticed he rubbed it slightly, he probably hadn't even realized.
He mumbled out a harried "Good night," and it was almost enough to make Scriabin smile. Almost. He could still affect him but this wasn't enough, it wasn't right.
He laid his head on the pillow, not bothering to pull his arm up over the side of the bed. If he twitched in the night and touched Edgar, well, that could mean anything. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he did it on purpose. Plausible deniability was one of his greatest assets.
As it was, he was just tired. Maybe he didn't pull it back because he hated the thought of sleeping alone, pushed out and forgotten, and hated it more that he was even thinking something like that. How pathetic. He didn't need anyone, especially not Edgar.
But he was tired. Not in his right mind.
Does this mean we can start over...?
The thought echoed and died, and he slept.
#💟#Fanfiction#Blank Slate AU#Edgar#Scriabin#Todd#Shmee#He's technically in there but once again no speaking lines :P Yet anyway lol#It's fanfic time again! I fell into yet another writing fugue and finished Chapters 1 and 2 in like four days lol#If you'll notice tho ♪ Neither of those chapters are featured under the cut :3c Pls do read Ch. 1 at least to get caught up before diving in#This one took a bit longer but that'd be because it's Almost as big as both previous chapters combined lol#I'll update it to the chapter list in a few days! Y'all get a preview here :D It'll be the same there with slightly different formatting#Decided to try something new since tumblr doesn't normally allow underlines but it's very important to Scriabin's syntax#I promise they're all just links to the first chapter lol - you're welcome to check but I promise I didn't put a sneaky link anywhere lol#My one gripe is that it doesn't look as good on-blog :/ Fine on the dash! But I'm not willing to sacrifice the dark colouration on the links#Italics were chosen as the only light feature for a reason ♪#I mean at least it's not Bolded lol I'll take it#These were a lot of fun to write so far ahhh <3 I've been wanting to dig a little deeper for a long while now!#I mentioned this idea offhandedly in the tags of Incoming Outgoing but ahhh it's very rewarding to put to words :D#Fun Fun Fun
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You know I feel like the placement of Beast Yeast and Odyssey is kind of confusing for newer players, especially if they don’t really interact with the fandom and know when the stories are supposed to take place
Odyssey’s not as bad, but you unlock it after finishing Episode 12, when it only happens after Episode 14, after the Dark Cacao storyline. It’s probably not the worst thing, but if you decide to start it after Episode 12, I feel like it could be confusing as to why Dark Cacao’s there at the least, since you haven’t met him or you’ve only barely seen him if you’ve started Episode 13
But as for Beast Yeast, you unlock it after finishing Episode 8, despite it taking place after both Odyssey and probably more importantly, Episode 18. Heck, you unlock it right before the Pure Vanilla story. So I mean starting off, you might not even understand why Pure Vanilla’s there. As I recall, you don’t really know what happened to Pure Vanilla by that point and that he’s still around, we were still led to believe he’s dead, right? And then you don’t really have the full context as to why they’re in Beast Yeast, since we only get the reason at the end of Episode 18, or who the Crème Republic is that gave them the airship, and if the other Ancients are referenced later on, what the heck they’re doing there. I mean okay, it might not be incomprehensible, players can probably understand that these are story events they just haven’t seen yet, but why place unlocking it so far behind the rest of the story? Because those new players don’t have context for over half the story by this point
Yeah it’s not as confusing for us already having played the game and being there when the story updates come out, but what about newer players who don’t have that context and maybe don’t interact with the fandom that much to know what’s going on?
#this is just something I think about#the order of the story is confusing#because you have to play World Exploration 1 to 14#but not Odyssey yet bc it’s after 14 and definitely not Beast Yeast despite probably unlocking it a while ago#then you have to play the Special Episode Cookie Odyssey all the way to Chapter 3#then go back and play the other four Episodes#but sometime in between 14 and 18 you have to also play the Red Dragon Special Episode#since Pitaya shows up at the end of 18#then finally you have to go back and start Beast Yeast after finishing 18#like if you want to experience the story as it canonically happens it’s confusing#not the worst thing ever but still confusing#anyways#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#world exploration#random stuff
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how i look like writing my thesis:
#raw dogging my thesis by not consulting my research adviser yet bc im a socially inept bitch#i swear this is coherent#just finished writing chapter 1 and now chapter 2 is due in a few days#i am: fucked#crime and punishment#c&p memes#fyodor dostoevsky#russian literature#classic literature
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how does the raft not capsize.
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#i mean komasan's not there in canon 3 so it's slightly better but not by a lot#i feel like someone should at least be falling off how is the raft also big enough to hold them all-#whisper floats so he doesn't add weight or any space really but like#it still needs to both hold the weight of three teenagers and two yo-kai#AND have the room for them all to fit#the rafting challenge in bada-bing tower is probably worse cuz it has to fit two additional yo-kai#i think komasan not being that important in the mainline games is very lame. he's pretty important in the anime so it's kinda weird#he is at least somewhat important in 3 since he's there for the yopple tour and everything in bada-bing tower#whereas in 1 he has the auto-befriend yo-kai curse (only being important in their debut chapter)#and in 2 he literally only shows up during the jibakoma quest in psychic specters#(excluding being an npc during the beginning of the jibanyan's secret quest alongside a bunch of other yo-kai)#idk what's weirder the fact they made him so important in the anime despite that or the fact they never made him important in the games#i personally go with the nyanderful days continuity that he also moves in with katie cuz that makes sense to me#i've literally never written anything where nate's the one who gets the watch in 1 so idk what i'd do there-#(funny how i've never written anything that's in the same timeline as canon-)#i want to at least write something at somepoint where nate and katie both get watches cuz i like that idea#i mean i have a dumb au idea where nate and katie independently get watches at the start of 1 at around the same time#and take an extended period of time to realize#mostly just haven't actualized that cuz 1) i already have the rewrite and 2) i don't have enough ideas#basically just have the basic concept-#these tags got derailed quick. and also make me really wanna work on the rewrite more-#i have so many ideas but i'm just not motivated to write any of them#and also most of them are for 3 and i haven't finished rewriting 2 yet 😔#‚‚‚ anyways-
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i feel like the person most eager for an update of my fic is me dijsjbs
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