#with a different context but im just happy i can still use it because its gold

[19agbrown]

Just finished a chapter of a WIP that's been on my desktop since February. Feeling pretty good about it.

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find.

im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial!

(this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals.

it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically:

contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark.

BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights

mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer!

the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only),

i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps.

there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects

you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way.

you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes.

don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on

that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared.

like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different.

on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art.

rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless.

find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment.

particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them)

but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker.

it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it

i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[3-2-4]

smth smth the different ways oscar and lando express their admiration-respect-appreciation of each other.

oscar's well-articulated elaborate responses in interviews, promises of stability, of having strong principles (we've always worked in terms of doing the right thing for each other and i don't think that will ever change), and being together a very long time, belief in the capabilities of the two of them as a team and as drivers individually...

vs lando who's respect and praise for oscar most of the time comes out in post-race interviews and is much more like. inthemoment i guess, concerns things that happen during a race weekend. it's the little momentary things, the stuff that you say when your adrenalin's still high and youre feeling more than thinking. unprompted im just happy for oscar, oscar drove a great race, he deserved it, (heart-eyed) winner oscar piastri, our driver of the day, me and oscar– yeah. dude we get it....

also there's the aspect of how oscar's respect for lando was there even before they met. like that's the guy who's career he's been following since he was still 14 and carting in australia (ugh this is kind of the landoscar post of all time). he's seen and is well aware (idk how to do timestams. but see the maiden podium question.) of of lando's achievements, he still has this sort of admiration for lando that kind of makes it impossible for him to admit that he's outdone him. vs how to lando oscar was this almost unknown entity before they became teammates, and how there is now this joy and excitement that comes with getting to experience all of oscar's victories w/ him, or realizing that oscar's the one who can like, really challenge him. or something. do you get it do you understand i feel as though i am rambling incoherently here.

(here, im also reminded of that landoscar communication analysis video and the thing about how oscar's approach to explaining tends to be more detatched, almost technical – and like. those aren't words that can be used to explain relationships really, but i still think there is something to be said about how, for oscar, the big thing is the fact that they've been able to build something like this, that they're still working on perfecting this thing they're building and that it really is long-term and it adds up to the big picture, that they can set an example for the entire team.... – whereas lando, when he explains things, has a tendency to personalize, provide irl examples from his experience. like yeah again, the smaller, passing things that he himself has felt and can relate to.)

and then there's the way they most of the time end up expressing the same sentiment in general, not just when it concerns the nature of their relationship, and just have different ways of going about it (which then allows(?) people who like one of them and dislike the other to twist the other's words, see lando and oscar both saying that they are closer to other teams than ppl like to think, and only lando getting called out for it or whatever (why?? maybe because oscar's got a more diplomatic way of speaking. but to be Honest mostly its probably bc people have a landonarrative constructed already and are willing to look past context and the actual things being said only bc they want to see that narrative actualized. becauseefoneoverallisanarrativesportaboveeverythingelse– whatever.). but all of that's.. a different topic). here see lando in the shanghai postrace conference and how he wants some things on the car, I want different things. But normally our ways align and we always want the same thing in the end.  and have you tried the landoscar ontrack offtrack parallels i thought the landoscar ontrack offtrack parallels were lovely.

and idk. even with the rpfgoggles off... im kindofsortof glad they've ended up w/ each other and are going to grow old together (was hard to pick the clip i wanted to embed in that,,,, they just keep doing this shit i cant keep up.)... or whatever.

[mythalism]

I really love your metas! I have a few questions and I’m very interested in your opinion.

Could you elaborate on how you interpret Solas’s romantic connection with Mythal and his love for Lavellan? In the game, there is a line stating that before Lavellan, Solas had never been in love and didn’t even know what it was, which makes me question the idea of romance with Mythal.

I played Inquisition only after Veilguard and was surprised that many perceive Solas as someone capable of casual sexual encounters without emotional depth. In his romance with Lavellan, he seems utterly captivated by her and incredibly respectful, he practically radiates tenderness and deep adoration toward her. Such behavior doesn’t seem believable to me for a man with extensive sexual experience. To me he seemed more like a demisexual. His love for the atmosphere of intrigue and tension didn’t convince me of his sexual 'promiscuity'. After all, one can enjoy that kind of atmosphere without actually engaging in physical pleasures. He seems very restrained when it comes to his physical body. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he had no sexual experience at all or if his experience was extremely limited. I also got the impression that Mythal wouldn’t have lowered herself to her 'doggo' in that regard.

thank you dear <3 im always happy to yap

for me, the moment i saw that mural of mythal stepping away from solas's embrace and calling him "love", i went "oh my god they were lovers" and nothing has successfully convinced me otherwise since LMAO. obviously the game very deliberately leaves it up for interpretation, and i totally understand why people dont interpret it as such. however i do think the game does deliberately suggest it for the people who want to run with it, but subtly enough that you can ignore it if you want. for me, "i will follow you wherever you go", calling him "love", his request that she basically run away with him, the resentment between them afterwards, all reads like romantic love to me. i also just enjoy the crazy fucking drama that the idea of them being lovers adds to literally everything. it especially adds to solavellan in my opinion, though many would argue it takes away. i think it adds juiciness and context. i also think many of the parallels to solavellan further suggest that solythal was romantic. but i also think calling them just lovers is incomplete, the same way i think calling them just friends or just vaguely mother/son, queen/knight, goddess/devotee or whatever else would incomplete. their relationship clearly does not conform to modern thedas's idea of love; both bellara and mythal herself say this and i believe them. mythal herself says no one mortal could understand their connection and its one of my favorite lines of hers. how could we ever understand what its like to love someone for thousands and thousands of years? what shapes might that love take over millennia? all of them, i'd wager.

just because i believe they were lovers does not mean i think their relationship resembled anything like what he has with lavellan. i think the immortal nature of their love is the key to the distinction. i dont think they were every anything remotely resembling monogamous. their relationship was fundamentally unequal (so is solavellan but in a different way lol). mythal probably used the amorphous nature of their relationship as a tool for manipulation. while solas was devoted and loyal, she was hot and cold. veilguard weirdly forgets this, but according to myth she was MARRIED (or the ancient equivalent) to elgar'nan this whole time too. it is elgarnan who is the sun, and mythal who is the moon, and solas the wolf that howls after it LMFAOOO. solas was quite literally secret third thing. he loved her like a goddess. she loved him like her loyal guard dog. he knew it and resented her for it but could not help loving her still. i dont think this makes it any less romantic love, it just makes it really fucked up romantic love, unrecognizable from how we'd recognize it, or how modern thedas would.

@/baphometsss wrote a banger the other day about how solas's love for mythal and felassan differs from his love for those he meets later (lavellan but also his friends in the inquisition) because his relationship with them is characteristic of how spirits love. i really loved this interpretation because even though i dont agree with all of it (which ill get to in a moment), i think people do misunderstand what i mean when i say i am a solythal lovers truther, and this post clarifies it. solas loves mythal in the way immortal spirit god-beings love each other. solas loves lavellan the way a mortal man loves a mortal woman. both can be romantic, both can involve sex, but the core of the love is very different; especially when the crux of solas's story is learning to be a man instead of a spirit/god.

i know a lot of people interpret that line (assuming you're talking about the "the dread wolf could not foresee what it would mean to fall in love") as meaning the dread wolf has never been in love and honestly... i have never understood that interpretation. like if thats your vibe and you choose to take it that way because you wanna headcanon it, amazing. have a great time. but i see so many people taking it as gospel as if it literally says "solas has never experienced love before" which it simply does not say. it says he could not have anticipated what it would mean to fall in love, and to me, there is a big "now, in 9:41 dragon, with a mortal woman" implicit at the end. im making assumptions about the intention too, but i think both are fundamentally interpretations, and the game once again does not say for certain either way. i think they did this intentionally the way they kept the nature of the solythal relationship vague. but yeah i dont interpret it that lavellan is solas's first love. i think mythal is, sorry LOL. but it doesnt really matter because their relationship was a fucking mess and he resents her just as much as he loves her so who cares.

this is just something i was pondering earlier when i first saw this message this morning but i think this is where the distinction between immortal godly vs. mortal human love comes back into play. i am not sure that immortal beings would be capable of love in the same way that mortals are, because there is no threat of loss. imagine how different it would be to love without the inevitability of grief? all the time in the world, all the power you could ever want. what would that look like? how would it feel? would you love as deeply if you knew it was eternal? now imagine that changes; suddenly you are powerless. suddenly, you have so much to lose. how would love feel, then? it makes me think of that quote that is always attributed to the illiad but is actually from the 2004 movie troy and written by david benioff which makes me want to fucking die but anyway the quote is relevant nonetheless; "the gods envy us because we are mortal... everything is more beautiful because we're doomed." i think falling in love with lavellan forces solas into an understanding of love he has never experienced before. and it fucks him up really bad. lavellan's mortality forces solas into the desperate, frantic, tragic mindset of a man in love with a ticking clock. we see time and time again that he cannot act like a god around her. he tries at first. he fails and cracks every time. he sees her in trespasser and literally falls to his knees to kiss her one last time. in veilguard he reveals that it was a relief that she allowed him to just be himself. i think what makes solas's love for lavellan unique and special is not that its his first, but that it is humanizing. mythal required solas to become a god to serve her purpose. he loved her through it all even if it ruined him. lavellan asked for absolutely nothing except the truth. he loved her through it all and it ended up saving him. to me, both are romantic loves that achieve very, very different ends.

now to get to the sex. the interpretation of solas as someone who Fucks mostly comes from 1. his mind-boggling age, 2. his comments about being very different when he was young; "hot-blooded and cocky", and 3. the comfort with which he pretty explicitly flirts with lavellan. in my interpretation, all of these things do indicate at least a level of confidence and experience with sex, though not necessarily a raging libido. i agree that solas is probably demisexual, at least when we meet him. i think it makes sense with his nature as a spirit. but i also dont think that means he never had casual sex ever in his THOUSANDS of years of life. or that he didnt have plenty of emotionally charged sexual experiences, rather than casual ones. i mean we are talking a lifespan of at LEAST 7,600 YEARS. AT LEAST! we even know that spirits fuck from a codex in trespasser LMFAO. i dont think its fair to say that his tenderness and adoration with lavellan excludes him from having fucked crazy style in his youth. i do think that sex is not at the top of his mind, and that he still clearly struggles with the mortal impulse of sexual desire that his body would have created, and that his instinct is to deny himself those desires. i just dont see him always having been that way, and i think his comments support that he was different when he was young. i just dont know how a virgin would slip in that indomitable focus line so smoothly you dont even realize what he just implied until you walk away and realize you're blushing. i do think sex and physical intimacy is an important part of his relationship to lavellan though, whether it is present or absent, because its consistent with this theme of the physical versus the spiritual, god versus man that he is constantly struggling with. i am trying to tie this all together but honestly ive lost the plot. asexual solas is valid and actually a lot of what i love about solavellan is that sex is relevant thematically but it is not the foundation of the relationship. i always like to say that sex haunts their relationship, a heavy presence just out of frame that both of them are trying not to look towards. i think its soooo juicy. but i also just like the idea that young cocky solas who canonically used to gambled also was a playboy. come on he NEEDS to get that hair pulled

[ar1mas]

- a rant

no because ive watched this stupid show 5 years ago, and i only noticed this now?? how???

ok. some context first. this is about fox' gotham, a prequel series to batman. or at least a potential one with slight changes. one of those changes is the relationship between oswald cobblepot and edward nygma (spelled with a 'y' for mayhap legal reasons? idfk its silly). whats their relationship like in the show? well...

theyre gay af. idk what to tell you.

okay so oswalds gay as fuck. edwards... ambiguous. totally ambiguous. he had a girlfriend or 2 and a half (kristen kringle, the-woman-who-shall-not-be-named (aka kristen but... blonde? this show is weird), and lee. not comfy counting lee, but technically shes one, hence the 'and a half')! very straight, much hetero (on another side note how tf is oswald the gay one, like i know he wears make-up and shit but eddies all about theatrics and showmanship and flair and hOW IS OSWALD THE GAY ONE NEXT TO HIM?? ok anyway).

so oswald was (is. be real.) canonically in love with ed, ed was.........., and 'penguin in love' is a piece of music composed by david russo for season three in which the whole "im in love with my best friend" thing took place.

that song has been used all over season three, as far as i can tell not once in season four, and once in season five.

.....or so i thought.

because yesterday, while in another obsession phase (of which i get one a few times a year. ive only ever watched the show once, in 2019, when it ended. still dream about nygmobblepot though. i dont dream about media, like ever, but with them, its different), i saw 5x8 to satiate my never satisfied craving of nygmob scenes, obviously skipping the main story bc i dont care about that straight shit. i got to the scene where oswald kills mr. scarface and frees arthur penn from said mr. scarface, after which ed shoots him in the head because thats what one does in such a situation, thought "aw how cute", again, as one does, and then realised.

what was that background music just now? rewinds.... oh. oh haha, its 'penguin in love'. how fun.

WHAT.

WHY IS THAT IN THERE. WHY DID THEY INCLUDE IT.

correction. it wouldve made sense to have it here. they used it in 5x5 for the speech about not backstabbing each other (wedding vows for murderers fr fr), so using it again after their relationship has solidified wouldve made sense.

note how im saying 'would have'.

because it would have made sense, if they used it when ed said "i accept you for the person that you are, just as you accept me for the cold logician that i am. thats why this friendship is great." they didnt, though. they used another equally heartfelt song for that. dunno what its called, it sounds a bit like 'penguin in love' but isnt, not sure if that one has a specific meaning like 'penguin in love' does.

so when was the song used? at 36:08 – 36:17. barely ten seconds, right before eds lines, right before ed kills penn.

...right when penn was sitting in oswalds lap because theyd been fighting for the gun and os fell on the ground.

now. the most obvious answer to "why in the fucking hell" would be because ooh this dudes on his lap so sexy, but no. no. 'penguin in love' is about one specific thing: love. the pure kind. the kind that makes you giddy with butterflies in your stomach, kicking your legs, while youre on your bed, writing in your diary about this guy you have a crush on. and oswald and penn do have history, oswald was more or less fond of penn, but not in love (i mean where would he have found the room in his heart if it was already filled with EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD martin my sweet boy EDWARD EDWARD EDWA-). im also definitely not thinking that penn was so happy about being free from mr. scarfaces influence and not having to kill oswald (oh yeah, the horror. who would wanna kill oswald, the guy with the big ego, who never does anything for anyone without some kind of endgoal- well, unless your name is edward of course) that he instantly fell in love with the guy. i can deal with the homicidal kind of crazy, but that? no. thats where i draw the line.

the next most obvious answer is that it was about oswalds love for ed. more believable, since its what the song was made for, but more believable doesnt mean believable. or likely. because even if i 100% believe that hes been loving this dude for so long its not something he has to think about anymore for it to be true, im pretty sure that itd be very random to suddenly focus on that when oswald was just about to die. so no, even if its what the song is intrinsically about.

so next most obvious answer is- wait. thats it. huh? theres no obvious answer anymore? everything else is brainrot? oh. oh well. its been five years, im sure its too late to worry about it now. what the hell.

im sure you know where im going with this. or maybe not. honestly idk what the fuck im talking about-

youre smart. you know what im about to say. if it wasnt about what oswald was feeling because he was otherwise preoccupied, and it wasnt about penn because that makes no fucking sense, then who was this song used for? who else was in the room?

...oh.

YOU.

YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. YOU STUPID DENSE PIECE OF-

inhale, exhale. no. don’ get mad, you know he cant help it. you know hes totally helpless when it comes to emotions. just breathe. ok.

i hate him. i hate him so much.

if the song wasnt for oswalds sake, it was for his. because i know hes in love with oswald, but does ed? does the producers??

'penguin in love' is about oswalds love. its about his love for edward. its about their love, their relationship. its about edward just as much as it is about oswald.

a-fucking-PPARANTLY, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!! I JUST THOUGHT OH YEAH OZZY BE THE GAY ONE HAHA FUNNY, I DIDNT KNOW IT COULD BE ABOUT ED DIRECTLY!!!

(why am i like this? what is my life? i will never be normal.)

ed has always been the obsessive one. first kristen (and the woman who shall not be named is just an extention of that ofc), then oswald, then lee. and as weve seen with kristen, when hes obsessed with someone, he can become possessive. absolutely not on the scale oswald is on, but still. theres a wee bit of jelly there. oh you have a boyfriend? better get rid of him! oh you wanna run away from me bc i murdered your boyfriend? better keep you right in place and- oh shit did i kill you? ono D:

this is a huge oversimplification, but you get the point. its there. or at least it has to be there because why else do you get so angy that someone is sitting in the lap of your just friend because they were fighting and they ended up in that position totally accidentally? like thats not normal behaviour, for anyone, unless you have possessive tendencies.

i mean its not like penn was a threat in any way. "he wasnt the threat, the dummy was the-" like i understand ed told penn about the submarine which was supposed to be a secret, but come on, like they couldnt make sure penn wouldnt say anything. so why would ed shoot him? its not even like penn was a random dude where that type of thing would be very inconsequential, oswald knew him. hed worked for oswald, and like i said, oswald was more or less fond of the guy. penns just a poor little meow meow, y u kil him eddie? 🥺

unless this fondness was part of the problem. unless ed saw how happy oswald was to see him, got annoyed but let it slide, then used penn attacking os and knowing about the sub as an excuse to kill him. and why would oswald being happy to see penn be a problem to ed? it wouldnt be. it wouldnt be, unless ed thinks oswald is his.

which makes sense. i know im calling him names and calling him out, but like. oswald told him he loved him like 5 times 2 years prior, i dont blame him for believing that maybe theres something to it (especially since that was the point of 3x14, oswald really being in love with him and surprising himself with it). but i thought ed didnt feel the same way? because hes very hetero? because he had a full-on girlfriend before, twice, technically? because-

"the truth is oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. even me."

"like i said! you will always fail, because youll never change."

hm. i know this is a bit off topic, but i just got a war-flashback and... why did ed sound so hurt when he said that? "youll never change." "you would sacrifice anyone. even me." why does he care? they were friends, best friends, yes, but why does he sound like a heartbroken wife who just found out her husband cheated on her again? why does-

"honestly you deserve this. you are opportunistic, your loyalty is.. shaking, at best, and you will hurt anyone, anyone, to get what you want."

"and yes, i was not a good friend. to you or anyone. its why im alone. but i saw you for what you are and i valued that!"

...why would edward nygma, the man who literally said "i dont love you" to oswald, be jealous of even the idea that maybe penn could have something going on with oswald? and why would he act on it if hes usually so careful to not reveal his feelings (unless its about kristen. the original obsession, the american dream, the just be normal, show them you are normal, and people will accept you)? he wouldnt.

unless oswald just told him that he knows he messed up. that hes sorry for it.

and unless that made him think that maybe theres a chance.

"love is about sacrifice. its about putting someone elses needs and happiness before your own."

"you gave up your revenge for me?"

a chance... for what?

"life begins anew."

"shall we get to work?"

and if theres a chance, hes not about to risk losing it. not this time.

so maybe 'penguin in love' is about more than just oswalds feelings. maybe they were trying to tell us that, yes, we see you traumatised gay kid, were sorry this is all we can give you, but here you go, eds in love with him too, but don’t tell the channel. subtlely. just for barely ten seconds. and maybe it can be enough.

nope, it wont be. im gonna sit here crying about the injustice of not having them kiss on screen in the finale as was originally intended for the rest of my life. seriously though, what is this, nbc's hannibal, where im noticing something new details every single time i watch the show, causing me to spiral? no, i was already spiralling. the spiralling was the reason i rewatched the scene. the scene simply made it worse.

so yeah, im done freaking out about a mediocre show that was cancelled 5 years ago and is honestly not worth anyones time (like, its ok. it might even be better than i remember since its been so long. i doubt it. but its ok).

tl;dr: ive only now realised that a specific gay song plays in a specific episode of a show i watched 5 years ago and the only reason theyd include it in the episode is if the dude that was not canonically in love with the other dude was in fact gay, they just werent allowed to make it canon, so they added the gay song to subtlely tell us about it.

have a wonderful day, hellsite. dont do what i did and go crazy about fictional gay people. i know you will though, that’s why im here too. i hate gay people. these two make me homophobic so bad, i wanna gauge my eyes out and skin myself-

[desceros]

is there any reason why you prefer April x CJJ vs. April x Cassandra? no hate or anything, i'm just genuinely curious as someone who prefers the latter. it's not a ship i'd ever encountered before reading your fics - in the Rise fandom specifically, i mean. i see April and Future Boy as having a more aunt/nephew dynamic personally (even if CJJ's apparently older than April in the movie lolol)

short answer is that i just do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

longer answer here:

long answer is that i enjoy playing with casey’s turmoil at his radically different relationship with people he knew before but who are very different now. time travel in a story that is heavily character-driven (as rise and my fics both are) is always interesting, because it forces the characters to recontextualize their dynamics, and i Like interesting.

like. i see him as having a father-son relationship with leo in the future. not literally but more in that [vine voice] you are my daaad youre my dad kind of way. when he comes back to the present, elements of that remain, but there are ways where they’re almost brothers or best friends instead. i dont particularly think he thinks of the other turtles as uncles so much as some kind of vague “family.” the rigid structure of a traditional family just doesnt feel like something he would have grown up with in an apocalyptic setting. he might use the term “uncle” or “aunt” but in terms of that Meaning a specific relationship, i dont see it. versus how like. communities sometimes refer to all older women as “auntie” or “grandma” but there isnt a specific familial meaning for it.

same thing with april where now, things are messy and complicated. im like. oh wouldnt it be interesting if he had a little baby crush on her the way little kids sometimes do to adults they admire. a harmless little thing he outgrows because that’s the natural way things go and nothing would have ever come of it, it was never romantic or sexual or anything of the sort. in a normal world, that would have been the end of it. except then he time travels and bam, now suddenly it’s different. she’s his equal now in a way she wasnt before. he’s attractive and clever and skilled and april finds it hot, so she shows romantic interest because for her, she doesnt have any context of it feeling weird. for casey, sure she was a kind of aunt figure, but she isn’t now. but also she’s his dad’s sister. but also she isn’t and also leo isn’t his dad anymore. now that baby crush wouldnt be weird, and even though he got over it and it was never a Thing now it’s a Thing. it feels weird, because if anything now the imbalance is in the other direction. he’s the one with more life experience with being an adult, even if they’re roughly the same age now. but also she has more experience of how to live in a society, so she still has that mentor place even as she becomes available, romantically.

look how messy that is!! it’s complicated, and i find complicated things interesting. i like writing about complicated things, particularly complicated emotional things. meanwhile, cass is an excellent character and i love her a lot in the canon, but narratively speaking she isn’t very complex. her relationship with april is, at its Most complex, enemies-to-lovers, except that was resolved in canon so it’s not even really there to play with too much. i just don’t typically find her compelling to write.

i’ve played with april/cass in my head, but it’s just a little boring to me. if i were to shake things up (which im happy to do because im not a mono-shipper here by any means) i’d be much more interested in april/sunita. the balance of dating a yokai with april whom we know from canon prefers to keep her head down low and be “normal” with non-mutant people is Interesting. sunita has the broach, sure, but what if she loses it? what if she decides after the whole yokai business she wants to be visible and april has to deal with that? that’s interesting!!! that can get messy!! that can be complicated!!

so yeah. that’s why i do what i do. hope that clears it up for you ✨

[mrmistakemakeroywg]

how i see "The helper" episode . (i have diagnosed adhd and autism fyi: everyone is different so take what i say with that context <3 not all autistic people are like me so please understand this is more based on my experience personally)

Really weird post i know but hear me out. When i watch "The helper " i immediatly think about having meltdowns as a little kid or just any age in general wether online or irl.

^ Like if you`re looking at it like i am, you can understand why id say it feels like hes having a meltdown / breakdown because something that makes sense to him most of the time, now makes no sense at all to him / freaks him out |

| (Being unable to help people because they do not need his help which he is not used to , thus making him react way worse then most people would sense it is something very special to him Like how people will have specific special intrests or hyperfixations etc) personally i freak out and get meltdowns when my pc is broken or needs fixed and i cannot draw whatsoever for long peroids of time. )

and how you / i would immediatly feel ashamed , nervous and guilty afterwards , or just generally exhausted or depending on the person feel like a burden on the people around you.

(also for this next part yes i know this is implied to be sylvia`s idea but it still makes me wanna tear up because it hits home way too hard) and other people will immediatly treat you as a "trouble maker" that has to be dealt with , punished or pushed aside even tho its something you cant help and sometimes cant even understand .

the dialogue espeically is a gut punch for me.

"ohh.. So this is the guy you want out of town "

" i get it " he`s hurt , and ashamed of himself. and its probably a stretch but i feel like this has happened before because of how he says " i get it . " then he tries to turn it into a positive as per usual to his character writing , thats how much he loves helping people.

its his special intrest / hyperfixation <3333 so of course he can try to turn it into something fun . and the rest of the episode goes on as he Does what they asked him to. and they immediately reward him for throwing himself out of their way .

(this genuinely makes me so mad i`m sorry fuck those towns people man you could`ve just talked to him instead GRAHHHH) and how he gets super happy after FINALLY pleasing them.

hes so silly :33

also this last bit makes me angry a little

"son"

"thanks" ( im going to eat your soul stfu /halfjoke )

"happy i could help!! "

"that makes two of us " (BONUS) ALSO I WANT TO MENTION the scene where he tries to " stop " lord hater. I feel like this is him being pushed to his absolute limit to a point he tried to do something very out of character just for the comfort and relief of "doing something good" like hes reverting to the basics of "being a good guy " just to get that comfort of helping someone again.

it reminds me of that Version of himself in "the wanders" where the piece of himself that holds his trauma / what made him want to help everyone is still not inside of him yet, and he goes on a rant about how he is going to stop lord hater

"wander are you okay ?? " "im MORE then okay "

"IMMMM PERFECT !"

"Now come trusty steed , its time to stop that HEARTLESS evil doer LORD HATER ONCE AND FOR ALL !! "

"wait what-" "stop ?"

"YES! i am a good guy , and he is a bad guy. " "AND I STOP HIM ! "

------------------- HELPPPPP.... seriously tho sorry for the long rant about this episode but it genuinely hit home so hard that i have cried multipule times unironicly because of it. Reminder that im veiwing this through my own experience of growing up on the spectrum (adhd + autism specifically) not everyone on the spectrum will be the same as me when it comes to this episode. I had to get this out of my system because it was eating at my brain sorry yall 💔💔💔

if i made any typos or worded anything weird its becuase its harder for me to write long posts plus as of writing its 01:17 on my computor clock.

[hoverboards-and-dragons]

How does God and Lucifer’s siblings view the sins? Are his siblings jealous they have been replaced or are some of them glad that Lucifer has found others who he can be a family with?

Also, do Asmodeus and Lucifer ever indulge in bird like behavior together?

God is very pleased Lucifer has them, He intended for it and a lot of the needless cruelty of the fall was to ensure Lucifer was found, endeared and open(desperate enough) to accept the help of the demons princes.

A full power emotionally destabilized Archangel wasn't going to be quick to make friends in hell. And Yes, I am very much looking forward to unpacking God's 'Ends justify the Means' mentality and 'Father knows best' approach to making decisions that affect other people without their say.

He likes them if only cause He's less guilty for losing Lucifer's original family if he ends up with another one.

However they as individuals are very foreign, while nothing is like Him, He has an understanding of creatures that strive for His perfection. He does not know what to do with those that have no interest in His order. Especially those created outside His will.

He skittish around Fat Nuggets as He is the Sins its very amusing

He's immune to Fear of Unknown by nature of being All knowing, they aren't Other to Him - He's perfectly aware they are complex people with depth and value. Which has unlocked some other, far stranger emotional response that like a morbid intrigue.

The sins and archangels' dynamics do have some posts here and here but im always up for an excuse for a proper mindset deep dive!

Because of implicit and explicit bias his brothers think of hellborn demons as lesser, Heaven is just like that, not necessarily bad just insignificant in the wake of God's Will and Order.

They see them as pets Luci is using to fill the void they left behind, the best he can do, while they're not necessarily upset at the situation by itself...

They are absolutely affronted at Lucifer being closer and more comfortable with the sins than he is or really ever was with them.

All he does is complain about the sins and how he has to manage them! (context) They were under the impression he barely tolerated them what do you mean he finds the demons' company preferable and there's a undercurrent of unbreakable trust and unconditional love in all that taunting and banter.

His siblings aren't jealous of being replaced however they are extremely jealous of being superseded.

They also... see the sins as bringing out Lucifer's 'worst traits', (mainly, Pride) because Christianity Heaven runs on shame and repression so nothing's more terrifying to them than someone being unapologetic in themselves

It's like, the worst parts of Catholic guilt and Protestant evangelical beliefs mixed together.

He has to miserable in hell in every way because if he was even the least bit happy away from the church Heaven that would have to mean something was wrong with him... or it. They don't want to see their brother like that but they're unwilling to compromise their worldview either, for who are they without God? Who is God if He's wrong?

Lucifer is cringe(and damned) but he is free etc etc

I'm so glad that near decade I spent studying Christian dogma and culture is coming in useful, there's so much texture and potential in this family dynamic

Yes, YES!!! I have waited my whole life for someone to ask about this, Bird solidarity!! Asmodeus unfortunately doesn't have a beak (it's different from claws or fingers and not even other angels can replicate it, fuck he misses his Dad) but still mutual preenings!! Billing!! Nestling!! Headbutting!! Wing tucking!! Someone who gets it!

I think Lucifer feels way more fondness for the Ars Goetia than he has any right to just cause a lot of them are birds.

Yeah they're pompous arrogant pricks but, those are endearing quirks to him if it's birds (okay he sees these as basically pets)

Paimon is still around despite his everything because he has a beak and is one of the few Goetia to truly prioritize ass kissing over dignity or prestige and will groom him without acting like it's weird.

[abyssalaquarist00]

I Know dd is very much not 1 to 1 with the real world but do you think Alhazred has any mixed feelings/criticisms of dd!islam? Assuming that is the religion he was raised in?

i think i answered this partially here but sure, what the hell let's expand on it.

note: if i talk about something from the real world in context of alhazred, just assume i'm talking about the dd equivalent. i've always seen the light = christianity, i havent thought much about what judaism or islam would be called

first, here are some considerations:

he is a scholar. you don't become one if you don't have questions or criticisms. this is the most important part of his character.

any one person's relation to religion is tied to a few factors such as; household; community; locale. religion has also historically been enforced by government, and influenced by leaders who are influenced by politics.

islam, like its Abrahamic cousins, has different denominations therefore different interpretations.

cultural and religious practices are influenced by each other

Al-Hazred is based off of Abdul Al-Hazred, the HP Lovecraft character who authors the necronomicon (or "kitab al-azif"). the source character lived during the islamic golden age, and originally from yemen

im just a guy, i don't have a degree in this, i am not in school, i am not a scholar, i am merely a self-professed student of life. take every single thing i give you with a grain of salt and find a variety of sources that you might initially agree OR disagree with. just be open.

hope the below answers your question! i think this is everything. i wanted to make sure i'm covering all my bases. i'm happy to answer more, also :-)

my interpretation of alhazred is that he is an andalusian arab, who was brought up in a sufi household. regardless of religion, like many of us (i hope), he probably went through phases of religion and religiosity.

being raised sufi, he wouldnt have had a problem with mysticism as, say, someone raised strictly sunni would have. in fact, because he's from al-andalus in this context, this would be normal to him. i think it would be cool if he was from an interfaith household like me.

he would have been educated along side women, as the prophet advocated for. he would not have felt shame in liking men, and probably would have loved to read homosexual arabic poetry (see also: my doodles :-) ). he would have had open discussions with people of different faiths and probably engaged in discourse himself considering he went on to become a professor (indicated by one of his barks).

however, like all things, nothing is ever perfect.

because i believe al-hazred is fundamentally a good person, he would be critical of hadiths and views regarding difference in faith, apostasy / conversion, slavery, violence and misogyny. though to the last point, it should be noted that both men and women are subjected to modesty customs as well as everything else in the qu'ran.

he would not be the type of person to judge someone for their religion, but i do think he would judge someones religiosity (intensity of belief), because he doesn't believe in blindly following a doctrine. he is one to scrutinize, criticize, and raise questions about things- probably much to the annoyance of his family and teachers. he takes any text he comes across with a grain of salt, but with an open mind as well.

the biggest thing that i can see him struggling with is reconciling the islam that he was raised with to his current spiritual and religious practices- because that's where the mixed feelings likely settle. there is a general consensus among most islamic sects that interacting with djinn is forbidden because they can trick you and pretend to be muslim- but humans are capable of such actions anyway, so i never really understood the logic behind this. regardless, it's still a widely held belief, he was probably shaking in his boots when he first interacted with eldritch entities and he still probably is a little scared- he just handles it very well and he has to otherwise the entity he sealed within him would be unleashed.

this itself would be the biggest point of contention about religion and his current practice, and i believe i made mention of that in the original post above. he's not sure if what he did was the right choice, and he's likely fighting between justifying his actions vs regretting them

i can see alhazred, like myself, having to face microagressions or misconceptions of islam. as ive said in my original post, he's muslim when he has to defend the faith but he may or may not be on any other day. i think he drinks alcohol and does drugs but he draws the line at eating pork. he mightve tried pork once and felt guilty about it then never ate it again. is this very specific event based on my own experience? who's to say.

all this being said, we should be critical of our upbringings regardless of religiosity. i myself believe that our religion should fit the way we want to live our lives, and i recommend looking up the history of the word and concept. religion can be profound and guiding, but it is ultimately a tool that can be used in anyway.

extra notes:

dd al-andalus = a fantasy al-andalus that persisted into the 18th/19th centuries, where i imagine DD takes place. real world al-andalus largely followed sufi islam, and was much closer in history to when prophet mohammed (pbuh) was still alive

my mom is catholic and my dad is muslim. though my dad wasn't in the picture, my mom was raising mixed race children from an interfaith marriage in their father's country, so we got to choose our religion largely. she had a problem when i went atheist for a bit, but she didn't like, force me to believe in God or pray. i came back to God on my own accord, and even then it's not necessarily a concrete belief in such an entity but the faith that one exists despite the uncertainty.

[redyarns]

Hi!, really love your Megop fic, I was wondering if I can ask if the fic plot or at least the idea of it is the same as the movie? Or something entirely new and just lightly biased off of it? Can’t help but think of it for days now with how good it is, thank you so much for blessing us with amazing writing <33

hi anon! of course, let me sit down and explain it because this might be a bit of a long explanation.

so in the transformers business (so to speak!), there are different continuities. aka a continuity is a universe that's separate from other universes but is still considered canon! you can google all the different continuities, but the transformers one movie is considered as the newest one, since its story doesnt align with any other continuity.

in each universe, things are at least slightly different even with similarities. if you look through ao3 youll realize that a lot of authors actually do something called a continuity soup, which is when they kind of cherry pick things from certain continuities! this works because like i said, although each universe is different, they still all have similarities. some similarities include things like how optimus and megatron used to be friends (at least in most of them), sentinel prime is always a traitor, and starscream is always trying to kill megatron and overtake the decepticons lmao.

for me, caught in the undertow is considered a continuity soup as well as a whole new world that i built on my own. the biggest influence is still tf1, so you can imagine all the characters look like their tf1 versions, but of course youre free to envision them as different versions if you want! it's just that a good chunk of context is built from tf1, but theres also quite a few things i took from other continuities.

for example, ultra magnus wasnt mentioned in the movie, nor was a central government. i also went into hot rod, mentioned drift, mentioned other cities, and all these other things that i took from other universes! even small stuff like hot rod being an archivist is a nod to how in some continuities, when optimus was orion pax, he was an archivist.

there were, however, things i didnt take from anywhere, but made up. one example would be titan's hold. its not an actual building in any continuity, just something i made up so that i had a setting for megatron and orion. the corruption of the council is also made up, though there are definitely a few universes that allude to something similar.

so all in all! the universe that undertow is set in is both a soup as well as my own thing. thats why i encourage anyone to read it even if theyve only just dipped their toe into the fandom, since i try to worldbuild in a way thats not super confusing or weird. that being said definitely do not reference my work for canon information lol

i know you probably know all this anon so i just wanted to explain in depth in case anyone else also had the same question! but if you need any more clarification please let me know, im happy to answer. i hope that cleared up everything you were asking about 🩷

[driver-doves]

character ask um sona thouughffs perhappps 😁do soba. Sona :)

Greets Gekko!! and of course, im always happy to talk about my cancelled aunt, she is my pfp after all

Favorite thing about them

Oooh this one is hard... "Favorite" is a little too wide of a definition for this, so ill narrow it down to what hits the hardest for me, and that is most definitely, the "flawed mother" angle they were going for her.

Sona isnt perfect, as much as she wants to claim otherwise, she believes in ideologies that actively put Frisks friends in danger time and time again, and as shown, is even willing to act on them in the imperfect routes, but they still love and see the good in her, because thats what theyve grown up with their whole life, and for someone who has a mom in a pretty similar situation, that hit so fucking hard for me.

Sona... they could never make me hate you Sona...

Least favorite thing about them

I dont really understand the hair motif they were going for, it feels unnecessary, out of place, and compared to all the other powers she could have had in the concept art (Doll powers, omega form, ect) just feels... idk, boring to me? i just feel there was so much more potential for her.

Favorite line

"If you dont have determination, you have to fake it!" lives rent free in my mind. its the perfect way to show off one of her main ideologies, In Sonas mind, theres just simply no thing called weakness or imperfections, and anything that is lacking can be fixed right up like a doll, who cares if itll never be as genuine as the flawed and complex human being that they used to be?

Theres also the iconic "I only take the souls of children if they disobey me!" line, which i like for a lot less complex reasons. just, out of context funny lmao.

BrOTP

The possible relationships she can have with Dalv, and her relations to integrity are both very intriguing to me.

Like, for Dalv theres this whole thing with them that they are both flawed individuals who ran away from their problems in the past, but ended up with completely different outcomes (Dalv was ripped away from society, while Sona actively got herself involved in it) but also like?? for something fluffier, i like to imagine that Dalv is good with kids, and the idea of him running an orphanage with Sona is really cute to me.

And integrity... oughh, its seen both in the no romance endings and the perfect sans route of kc that Sona really cared for integrity (their ending having the most lore, only second to Justice because...well, uty reference, her giving them flowers in that one cg), So the idea of her in a uty scenario (cough cough kcy cough cough) finding out about what they did and their fate is a REALLY interesting angle to consider for me. so many thoughts, oh so many of them.

And then last but certainly not least, theres her and Chara which i feel like i dont talk about NEARLY enough but since this section is getting long, ill just end this off on that kc shouldve had more Sona and Chara interactions.

OTP

... Its Sonaroba, is anyone surprised.

Theyre so interesting and mentally ill and evil i need to put them in a snowglobe and shake them as hard as i can. Like, you have two woman who were both wronged by the world in some capacity, and when proven wrong, are so tunnel visioned that they basically just beg for death. only that one is past that arc and has learned to grow, while the other, despite having the chance time and time again, hasnt. They're two sides of the same coin, they're two different outcomes of the same person they're they're they're-

My incoherent ramblings aside, i also really enjoy Sonanny, they're the doomed old woman yuri ever and i refuse to take any criticism /j like, theres a reason Nanny is the only adult not controlled by Sona right? IM GOING INSANE-

nOTP

... Im actually at a loss for what to put here lol. I mean, i guess theres Sona and Sans, but its just so stupidly evil and toxic that i kinda just, thrive in it now

I guess her and Starlo?? but theyre not compatible anyway so i dont really get why people would even ship it to begin with.

Random headcanon

The hat she has in the concept art right?? i imagine she actually still has that hat somewhere, and wears it on special occasions like anniversaries and birthdays. its just so cute i cant help myself rahhh-

Unpopular opinion

Im actually not that familiar with what the major idea around Sona is since i only really hang out in niche spaces, maybe i should hang around Andrews community more-

But since "Sona isnt just some random racist mom and her character goes so much deeper than that" isn't really a fun answer, im gonna say that i think we (and by we i mean like, the twelve people in the kissy cutie community) Really dont explore her Mexican origins enough. theres so many fun things you can do with it like the original game does-

Song i associate with them

The main two songs i associate with her are Suburbia by Will wood and the tape worms, and ruler of everything by tally hall.

Suburbia in particular feels like her trying to fit herself and eveyone into a "generic" standard, and the ar-15 part in particular feels like Chara speaking to her like "cultures not your friend" and "Culture is more afraid of you then you are of itself", making it a duet between the Siblings?? ouggh can you see the vision.

And ruler of everything... oh ruler of everything my beloved, everything about it fits Sona so well for me, especially the chorus?? Ayaygdgyduhhuh

I actually was story boarding a ruler of everything Sona animatic, i lost interest since school started, so heres the rough beatboards

Favorite picture of them

The little full body Xan cut out lives in my mind rent free, like look at her guys shes so full of bliss and whimsy

Thanks for the ask!! sorry this got a little long lol, i am a yapper at heart

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! About a certain fox’s career and about bottoms potentially spoiling their tops…

Anonymous asked:

So I’ve seen around Leona x Idia and politely ask you for some (and please don’t make the wholesome) headcannons if your able to

Anon! Unfortunately, I’ll have to politely refuse because we don’t really ship Leona and Idia :(

Anonymous asked:

Honest John should make an Onlyfans. How do you think he would do with that?

Anon’s out there using his legal name 😭 Jk this one also isn’t his legal name…

I think he has a lot of potential! There would be a learning curve because he properly doesn’t know how to use technology super well, but he knows how porn and pinups work, so… Even though his taste is a bit old-fashioned… I think that would make him fit into a very specific niche 🤔

And if it works, that would make him euphoric – imagine earning money like that without really risking it?? People who have money to spend really are naïve saps! He would laugh at them as if he is not genuinely enjoying himself for the first time in forever lol

Realistically, his biggest issue is that he absolutely doesn’t have a credit card to receive payments, and he doesn’t have a proper ID, but with the right kinds of friends that’s probably easy to fix!

Anonymous asked:

bless you for the rookvil love the art its so wonderful!! <3 and the rookvil girlies on your priv X aaa <3333 Rook in lingerie is such a treat!! i remember you said she doesn't like to be touched and i was wondering if there's a specific reason you say why? is it just rook girlie or all the top girlies? omg do any of the bottoms return the pleasure for their tops or spoil them back? ok ill stop buT I DO LOVE THE ART MUAH love it. ty for the food! <3

Anonymous asked:

wait do the boys also spoil their tops... oKA y im done im donne lmao im sorry ! stay hydrated have a wonderful day/night

Thank you, Anon! <3 I’m happy you love them, both the ones we posted a couple of days ago and the girlies! Rook in lingerie is indeed a treat and a special rare occasion for Vil only…

As for Rook not liking to be touched, (ignoring my bias that I’m going to address in a minute) it’s more of a Rook thing: she prefers to do “the hunting” and pinning someone down completely is like her instinct. If asked though, she would just say that it would get her too aroused and her heart wouldn’t be able to handle it. Maybe there is some truth to that statement, but… Vil is absolutely allowed to touch her much more than anyone else would, and she mostly does it when she wants to see Rook worked up and agitated. Vil says that it’s like teasing a feral dog that likes the pets but also doesn’t.

As for the rest of the ladies, I kind of talked about this here in the last reply. We are biased towards bottom!girlies receiving all the attention, and this for sure affects how we see top!girlies’ preferences lol But I think not all of them are as much of touch-me-nots as Rook: Rook isn’t even the worst one out of them. Azul is one of the biggest ones; she hates being touched unless she is the one demanding that, and sometimes it gets ridiculous with her. But Ace, Jack or Kalim are not as bad, and Floyd flip-flops as usual. But none of them would let the bottom!girls take the lead completely.

So yeah, while technically all the bottom!girlies could still pleasure their tops, this just isn’t the dynamic we usually gravitate towards, like I explained in the linked post. It all depends on context, I guess. I think they would do a different kind of spoiling, like teasing, dressing up a certain way, allowing something that wasn’t previously allowed, all that stuff.

With the boys it’s easier though! I can see pretty much all of the bottoms being willing to give their tops a blowjob or a handjob depending on a situation, some are more willing than others though~

The ones that are the most likely to do it are Vil (big fan of rewarding with a bj), Silver (he is such a good boy), Epel (he is eager to please and to prove himself!!) and Deuce (he acts first and thinks after, and sometimes it puts him on his knees because he feels too much love towards his top and wants to express it).

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

had a very good day today im putting the specifics under a cut because i got really long winded im processing ghfjgkg

(socials with multiple family members we like. including one of our two favourite cousins, we had not interacted with since 2020 and even then we didnt get an opportunity to talk 1 on 1 like we did tonight. picked up where we left off with zero difficulty and hes gotten even cooler with age tbh. we had worries about political radicalisation (its been an issue with other family members (like our mum. not to name names.)) but no he is in fact so chill.)

but also. my god our poor brain. leaking out my ears (so much peopling & talked about so much stuff (again always happy to see everyone we saw today (we like a lot of our family on dad's side) and also had really really good conversations + its also like. i think the first time ever that cousin and us got to talk as experienced adults (hes 4 years younger than we are so last time we talked he was like early 20s and still a bit. hm. cant find the word in english but very Confrontational and Sure He Knows Everything the way some people can be at that age. the dunning kruger effect of life i think fhdkgkg. now he has Matured out of that phase) and its just. my god so nice to be chatting with someone who just vibes on the same wavelength not necessarily opinion wise but in terms of like. how we like to discuss things and what we're putting in vs getting out of the conversation (in this case intellectual stimulation + learning things) and how we think about things (like the mechanics underlying our thought processes. we just Follow each other's trains of thought easily even if we take different paths or don't Word things the same). but also just the sheer like... we dont have to stress out about how we come across because we are Known and given grace. like we basically grew up together we saw each other like at least every other weekend + some vacay time, and its just nice to see we keep vibing just as well now as we did then (maybe even better. tbh. given how hes massively chilled out). we know each other's context and we've ended up having similar trajectories for a lot of Thoughts And Ideas And Values And Life Decisions, so just like. yea. idk this (still trying and failing to articulate what "this" is exactly) isnt an experience we got to have often with family members (especially family who are Peers rather than Adultier Adults to some extent) so it feels extra special to me for that i think. anyway))

and im winding down rn because no way im gonna sleep until ive stopped having brain zoomies, despite the 4am of it all rn, there's a bunch to process first but wowee the. yea. we really need to not go another five years without talking (we are both really really comically bad at keeping in touch with irl friends through online/phone means. lmao like i dont know why because we have no issue maintaining regular (though. occasionally very delayed. like weeks to months before we get around to replying sometimes.) contact with online friends? but if we know the person from IRL we just suck SO bad at keeping in touch with them if we can't meet up regularly. so this probably means making time to visit more often despite the. hundreds kilometres (was initially gonna abbreviate that as kms but LOL NO) in the way. phew)

anyway. lovely day i hope we can just chill tomorrow though because brain soup (probably also because several of us were involved in that conversation because. well. he's Our Cousin and hes not someone we've ever needed specific guys to handle, so hes met quite a few of us over the years (even though he doesn't know that (yet) and we didn't know at the time). and running/coordinating that many people at once takes a toll LOL im there to facilitate that its literally what i do here but. you know. only so much i can do i cant work miracles on the electrified meat sponge in our head to make it magically better at handling a ton of processings at once.)

anyway back to my bedtime routine and then sleeping probably so so well. nya!

[angeart]

consider this: maybe the community is good for them. maybe it still damages them irreparably.

WHAT-

oh

is that... sadder? its sadder. this is worse somehow. man hhau is just a constant push between healing and being shoved all the way back down to rock bottom isnt it. i love it so much

ALSO THE SNIPPET I LOVE THE SNIPPET THATS SO SOFT I LOVE THE NEW CHARACTERS AND THE GAME NIGHT SEEMS SO FUN

its such a bright spot in how difficult the rest of hhau has been for scar and grian, even in their happier moments theres still fear in the background but this feels different somehow. maybe its because theyre in a community, or just the fact that grian is feeling freer with his wings and scar is joking around and having fun

i wonder how it falls apart

anywayssss

im excited to hear more details about the vex arc! i feel like weve gotten teased with its existence for a while and im so excited to read more about it (no pressure though to move forward or write them yet I am loving mimic arc and am So curious about what the next bits have in store(especially the eclipse? the red haze? whats up with those? 👀))

-burny anon

hehehe.

it is definitely sadder. it's gonna hurt so much 🥰

i love what you said about hhau because it fits so well—that constant push between healing and being shoved back down. and there's only so many times this can happen before you realise maybe healing just... isn't for u <3

YAY I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THE SNIPPET AND NEW CHARACTERS AND STUFF! they finally have a bit of security, people watching their backs, and it helps a lot to make all those baby steps to something better. weeps. i love them.

that game night was such a big thing. many things happened! them feeling free and wild, friendly teasing and unbridled laughter, ribbons and flight, and— and also breakdowns, interspersed through. spikes of anxiety with its wide, incessant reach even through goof stuff. characters learning more about each other and growing closer. man. we rpd that one for like a month through various stuff that happens just on that one NIGHT.

you gotta ask, if they've been in this vex commune for a while—really, how does it all end? :3c why doesn't it last?

hehe

we can throw bits of vex arc at u but we can't write the rambles yet because some of mimic art pt V will be relevant for context on what scar and grian are dealing with, and it'll take a long while to get there with the rambles... so sadly proper big vex arc rambles have to wait, along with the reveal of some finer details, but for now we can hopefully at least satisfy you (and, honestly, us too) like this! <3

[whisperwritingstuff]

mmm I like both of these games:)

unfortunately ive never seen pacrim tho so i dont have much context for that verse😔 ill have to add to my watchlist!

reverse!Scar in main!Scar oh god the meltdown would be So Real like "dude wtf i just spent so much time trying to even get cub back as a person and you just. Handed Him Over???"

but objectively putting reverse!grian in main would be both funny and tragic. he has such a sense of fairness in main, and rn he's dealing w instincts hard so its harder to see yet, but if he has the same need for fairness he would be both super happy that he'd be getting what he wanted wrt convex but also "i did not earn this trust i do not deserve this"- feel like w where reverse!grians at right now I could see him either making the best of it or just self sabotaging so he doesnt get anything he hasnt earned :3

im curious as to which point in the storyline we would swap reverse!Cub out. cos like rn bro is Angry. he seems like hes good at compartmentalizing tho (part of the reason w all the verses meeting up, theyre the most chill i think)

i definitely wholesale recommend pacific rim as a movie, the visuals and use of color is amazing the characters are vibrant and the concepts are delicious to chew on. also ripe for au ideas, drift compatible as a concept is a blessing, etc etc.

can you Imagine reverse scar shouting at main scar about just Handing Cub Over and main scar just hits him back with "Sure but I didn't leave my Cub alone and instincts zonked for a week! Our Cub's been person-Cub the whole time!" they are having a cat fight these scars are mauling one another its vicious. literally either of their cubs could break it up and they Won't. main grian might step in eventually but mostly b/c he feels kind of bad for his scar kicking reverse scar's ass more as the fight drags on.

but like if reverse scar is just waking up in that life with no main scar to actually yell at for it, he's having the meltdown, he's getting everything he was jealous of, he's jumpy and skittish and terrified every time grian so much as looks at him(and grian looks at him a lot very worried).

reverse grian waking up in main would probably spend at least half a day fully convinced he's dreaming, or that he's having a particularly vivid daydream, he just wants so so badly to play along with a convex that actually want to be his. waking up with both of them cuddled up to him, all sleepy and warm and comfortable? not having to step over that line himself to claim scar? he craves comfort with the parched fervor of a lost wanderer in the desert and convex are Providing. it takes a few days to emotionally sort himself out enough with their support that the guilt can start to set in and grian begins to try to distance himself and figure out what happened. at which point scar drapes himself on reverse grian like 'oh are we done play-pretending? can we get our grian back now?'

i was mostly thinking of cub as he is in the current snipbits yea, so freshly woken and yeah pretty heckin angry abt some stuff. just that quiet kind of anger. simmering. not boiled up into something active yet. there's a nonzero chance that if he woke up on main he'd straight up try to break scar's summoner bond without asking, because clearly the talking approach didn't work out. if he was swapped while still zonked that would be. shall we say. concerning to main scar and grian. just in a different way than woke up and chose violence cub.

[plan-3-tmars]

okay i don't really know how to title this so im just gonna call it how Half tells the story of Kazui's marriage with Stages.

Half opens up with a green apple in the center of a stage, the spotlight illuminating it. The green apple in Kazui's MVs is tied to Kazui's sin. The apple being in the center of the stage before the 'performance' even begins could represent that this is Kazui's main motive for acting and lying, this is the reason for the show.

The Kazui of the present is in the audience of the play. Throughout the entirety of Half he is there watching the events leading up to Hinako's death with us. We are the audience watching the video but also the literal audience of this performance. I think this could represent Kazui reflecting on his actions and what he did throughout his marriage while in Milgram, or right before Milgram (which I'll get into at the end.)

It then cuts back to the stage, where we see the Kazui of the past walk onto the stage wearing a mask - the performance is about to begin. This is, I'm assuming, when he is freshly married. Sure he would've had to lie while they were engaged or simply partners but there's not so much at stake at that stage in a relationship rather then when he's married. Kazui is wearing a mask to cover up his sins with lies and now he is also acting, putting up the performance of a happy marriage for others so they wouldn't question his true motives for getting married or see the real him.

When we see flashbacks of Kazui during his marriage, we can see either stagelights or the background never filling up the entire screen. This also ties to the fact that, even when Kazui isn't wearing his mask, he is still acting and putting up the performance of being content in his marriage with Hinako. I've chosen this scene to showcase this because it shows both at the same time but this happens in the bar scene too.

In this scene Kazui is singing the chorus of Half while acting on stage. However, he is wearing his mask and doesn't show alot of emotain in his movements or expressions. This could be interpretated as the effects of hiding his true self that Kazui experiences, which can really be seen considering the fact that the lyrics and way his VA sings them is very intense and rich with emotain, compared to how Kazui's expression and movements are animated

In this same scene, there is a shot of an empty chair on stage alongside Kazui. This most likely referances Hinako's involvement in Kazui's 'performance', or lack thereof, as empty chairs usually represent the empty space of a person in art. This could be interpreted in different ways: Hinako isn't shown in the performance anymore because she's dead, Hinako isn't shown in the performance because she wasn't aware of it happening so her presence is replaced by a chair - etc.

This scene in Half is one of my favourites for a multitude of reasons, so let's point out the things that stand out first and then we'll delve into my understanding of their meaning. Firstly: Kazui isn't wearing a mask in this scene but he also isn't on the stage, which has more meaning considering the other times we saw Kazui without his mask, he was still on stage - still acting. Here his performance has fallen. Secondly: the green apple is atop the stage in between Kazui and Hinako. I've already established my previous interpretation of the apple on the stage at the very start, but I think its appearance here is in a different context. This is the scene where Kazui tells Hinako the truth, so his mask and performance has stopped because these are both tied to him hiding his true self and his lies. The apple being on the stage in the middle of the two of them could mean that this is the topic of conversation. It is illuminated because they are litteraly bringing to light the elephant in the room that has been putting a wedge in their relationship. The reason why it's still on the stage might be because Kazui is still hiding what his sin is from us, so in a way his sin is putting on its own performance - disguising itself as an apple.

After Kazui tells the truth, his performance is alot more emotional. His movements are more dramatic, and so are his expressions. He's not trying to hide his real feelings anymore, and after years of doing so, they come bursting out all at once. He is still acting and putting on a performance, so we can assume at this point in time Hinako is still alive and they are still married, but he's unmasked. He's no longer lying to her.

In this scene, Kazui takes what looks to be a final bow infront of the chair before walking off the stage. I think this scene shows Kazui's intentions when it came to telling the truth. He told Hinako the truth and expected them too get a divorce afterwards, so he walks off the stage - ending the performance (their marriage.) The bow to the chair could be interpreted in different ways: a goodbye, an apology etc.

However, despite what Kazui's actual intentions where when it came to telling Hinako the truth, they didn't happen. Kazui sees the apple shattered on the ground (Hinako's death) and goes back onto the stage. He starts his performance again, this time as a mourning widow, and starts lying again too. He puts back on the mask, scared of what might happen if he were to reveal the truth about himself to someone again.

Remember what I said at the start of this painfully long post about how this might be pre-Milgram Kazui watching his performance? Yeah, this is where that comes into play. There are things I had to leave out because of tumblr's 10 photo limit, but the main point is that this Kazui on stage at the end of Half and the Kazui in the audience are wearing the same outfit. I think this might be a case of Kazui reflecting on what happened in his marriage right after Hinako's death and pinpointing where he went 'wrong' (in this case, he deciphers that telling the truth was his mistake) and decides to start his performance all over again, careful to not repeat his mistake - vowing to never reveal his sin to anyone else.