#change all at once so quickly
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If you told me even a year ago that in 2024 I'd be feeling this way, I would not have believed you and in fact laughed in your face.
And yet...
My heart is so buoyant in me I can feel the bubbling lightness of it. I walk around like I am made of sunshine, like I can fill every corner with radiance and still have an abundance of it. Sometimes it catches me off gaurd, like a hiccup, but I am never frightened or anxious, I don't shake for fear of losing it.
Am I in love? Something that seemed so impossible to me, so foreign, like the memory of green buds in wintertime. I knew it was possible that spring would return, but I'd been waiting so long for it that I forgot to pay attention. The trees were bare, the air was cold and dry. And now it's as if the warmth and the bloom and the humming of life has come over me all at once.
#things can stay the same for ages and then#change all at once so quickly#I know that life is like this and yet#I am still so surprised and delighted by it#how strange it feels to want and be wanted#how wonderful and familiar and good#personal#manifesting love and tenderness atm#cara mia#🩵🐛#iykyk
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me during the major update trailer: huh prometheus is kind of an odd choice for a secondary antagonist
me after fighting him 1 time on olympus: oh actually I'm not normal about him At All huh
#HELP. never had a character go from 'huh?' to 'poor little meow meow' so quickly#hades game#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#changing his allegiances was a bold move but i think it was the right one. it makes him SUCH an interesting antagonist#his motivations are entirely understandable and that makes him sympathetic. and therefore compelling#i am so curious about what's going on behind the scenes with him and chronos#how much of his change was intentional as a result of his punishment and how much was manipulation??#how much of the prometheus that everyone reveres is still in there?#he fights with the gift he gave humanity and the punishment bestowed upon him. a DIRECT 'fuck you' to the olympian#all that and. dare i say? he's a little zagreus-shaped. to me at least#not just in terms of looks. but the speech patterns and his word choices too#if zag had chosen to be embittered and turned on the gods... they probably wouldn't be so different.#it might be too early to tell. i might be projecting. i'll analyze properly once i get a chance to play more#hadesposting
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Thinking of Dire Straits for fic reasons once again, but from the perspective of the Dragon Riders.
They watched Hiccup (and Toothless) disappear into the depths of the ocean in what was basically an inescapable cage. And that after rushing to his rescue in vain. They had to stay up on that boat, wait and hope for the best and it's not like Hiccup came up quickly either. In the episode itself it took only a little bit, but in actuality, Hiccup stayed under long enough for the diving bell to fill up completely, for him to run out of breath (not that shouting at Toothless in warning helped), to pass out, and to also stop breathing!
And things weren't much better when the Submaripper brought him back to them either. He came back to them unconscious. He needed to be freed and carried out. Astrid begged him to breathe! And luckily, he did start to breathe again on his own (stimulated by Toothless licking him probably!) because it's not like Vikings know CPR! Not these ones at least. But even after he was up on his feet, Hiccup was weak and hurting, Fishlegs had to hold him up on his feet.
Dire Straits was a nightmare for them! The closest they'd ever come since the Red Death to losing Hiccup. No wonder they were angry enough that they just wanted to blast Viggo and Ryker to oblivion if not for those Seashockers.
#just thinking of this ep once again#plus hiccup was so lucky he didn't die from being brought up so quickly? because of the change in pressure and all that jazz#because that's how experienced divers have literally died#by coming up too fast#httyd movies#rtte#race to the edge#hiccup haddock#toothless#hicctooth#astrid hofferson#fishlegs ingerman#snotlout jorgenson#ruffnut thorston#tuffnut thorston#hiccup and the dragon riders
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the way i see team urameshi after meeting shiori is like
#shiori just adopts all of kuramas friends and boyfriend (hiei)#she especially loves hiei. yusuke and kuwabara are shocked about this esp bc hiei is clearly trying to be on his best behavior around her#and shiori can see how hiei has clearly been denied love and care in his life and wants to take care of him so bad#and kuramas just like 🥺🥺🥺🥺 about seeing hiei and shiori getting along. even if hiei can be very awkward and uncertain about it#he doesnt know how to handle a mothers love. but hell learn some day#anyways. shiori just gets so happy once kurama starts bringing his bf n friends around. happy to see him having fun with his peers finally!#and quickly all of them are like. ohh i see now why kurama ended up changing is ways for this woman#and shiori makes all of them matching family sweaters and takes a big family photo 🥺🥺🥺🥺#AUGHHHHH#is it obvious im a kurama kin in my family feels rn#team urameshi#shiori minamino#shiori hatanaka#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#kurama#youko kurama#hiei#botan#I WANT BOTAN AND SHIORI TO GO SHOPPING TOGETHER#yu yu hakusho#yyh
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one moment i was struggling to draw medic for my "meet the tf2 artist" thing, next thing you know i stumbled across a color palette and these happened:
was gonna draw more of the mercs, but my drawing tablet started acting up... sooo now i gotta troubleshoot that...yippee..
heres the color palette that started this detour:
#tf2 spy#tf2#tf2 medic#god i pray my tablets not fucked#once my tablet stops bugging my “meet the artist” thing should quickly follow#i was almost done with the lineart when i got side tracked#i really like these colors <3#so gonna use them more#tf2 art#tf2 fanart#fanart#my art#art#hah medic keeps changing#now i have a cartoony version i like just gotta perfect the simi reall one#hope youre all doing well#oldbird&co#blue
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Y'shtola please come back soon before these two idiots combine their gill coffers....
#ffxiv#ffxiv wol#wolgraha#g'raha tia#wolship#post endwalker 6.4#implied polyship#graharsay#graharshtola#arshtola#Y'shtola 100% also already thinks they are all married don't worry everyone#she's just the last person to bring that kind of thing up#this started as a “i miss my wife Tails” joke and uh#quickly became not a joke#I was gonna try and wait for dawntrail to finish up before anything changed between them but thats a literal year away so...#also g'raha seeing arsay in a state would absolutely make a vow then and there that he would make sure arsay never felt lonely again#In his mind they both spent far too long being lonely and he wont put up with that again!!#meanwhile arsay is literally dying because once again#she forgot to consider that she is actually loved#insane if true she would say despite being in a polycule#but hey!! character growth shes actually talking about feeling sad#look at her go#we are so proud#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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Absolutely horrible Pern thought of the day I woke up with but which I’ve had in mind for awhile:
Every dragon dies alone and separated from their rider.
We all know that when a dragon loses their rider they go between forever. If they’re lucky, they go with their rider on their back. If their rider dies and they jump between in horrible grief. That’s sad enough. But it gets worse.
At the absolute max, humans can survive without oxygen for maybe five minutes. Most people will be unconscious in about three. We learned in All the Weyrs of Pern that a dragon can hold their breath for about ten minutes, sometimes more.
Ergo, even if the rider goes with them, the dragon will be alone for at least five very crushing minutes before they finally lose consciousness. If the rider has died before they went between, they have ten minutes to deal with it and be in mental and emotional anguish.
(Don’t get me started on Beyond Between. That story makes no sense and was almost certainly written because Anne herself was thinking about her own mortality. If a person could just get stuck between like that there is no reason it wouldn’t be common knowledge among the dragons at the very least. And if you got stuck there after being fatally wounded, that’s not any kind of heaven, that’s what we would call hell.)
#dragonriders of pern#pern#razz rambles#I read a fic once where a rider went between#and it turns out all dragons and riders were just flying in an eternal sky#forever#and like the writer was aiming for cute and wholesome#but I couldn't help but think that sapient creatures who need novelty and change to survive#would go deeply insane very quickly#I could guess they didn't hear the screaming only because they were around pairs which had eons ago fallen silent#so many people don't think about what a hideous concept eternity really is#but I do 8)
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as i’m procrastinating some designs for the main players in diane’s dimension, here are some of her inter-dimensional gaggle of children!
around 6 years into her time as a dimensional traveler, diane set up a rest stop of sorts (that became her home) at the outskirts of the nightmare dimension for anyone who finds themselves suddenly forced out of their home dimension, or in urgent need of supplies
however, whenever a child finds themselves in that position, diane takes it upon herself to watch after and take care of them, even refusing to take bounties unless absolutely necessary, until they are old enough to decide for themselves if they want to stay or leave - these three are the ones who choose to stay
furthest left is Hg80, from a dimension where people are made out of elements from the periodic table (diane’s nickname for them is hattie)
in the middle is charlie simmons, an outcast from the finger dimension after being born with syndactyly (hence why he wears gloves)
and furthest right is velquus caballissi, from a dimension where the most intelligent species are dinosaur-horse-bug-adjacent, and who fell into the nightmare realm just after hatching
#nell's void#gravity falls#gravity falls oc#gf oc#gravity falls ocs#oc: hg80 aka hattie#oc: charlie simmons#oc: velquus caballissi#verse: find me at the height of noon#digital art#digital illustration#artists on tumblr#i feel it’s important for you to know that velquus’ head can spin 360 degrees#also velquus’ eyes change color based on her emotions#also also hg80 is made out of mercury#and turns into a liquid when they're scared#they’re all so silly and baby#diane is such a great mother to her alien children#i kinda just drew them cause i wanted to get my creativity juices flowing again#but also cause they mean a lot to diane#and are an important part of why she both doesn’t kill ford and lets him stay as long as she does#cause the three of them grow very attached to him very quickly#and so she reluctantly lets him stay after they beg her (they asked once and she folded immediately)
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bro….
#this is insane but very cool#genuinely can’t believe they packed all this into this game#let’s have an ancient underwater temple with encrypted poetry as an optional postgame puzzlebox#the one that changes depending on whether you got there in time though…#that’s actually so.#like if you get there quickly enough you’re able to proceed#’go on brave king’#but if not the pillar stays just a pillar and it’s like ‘you’re not a real king’#also all this king language. and how a lot of these messages read like about him being a noble hero who tried to bring peace to the land#once again very very interesting given the broader themes of this game…#what with n being called the ‘king’ of team plasma and him proving himself to be a hero of legend…#mmmmm#goldie plays pokémon black
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why did i have to get this dialogue on my honour mode run..... i cant make a save 😭😭 also i dont understand why i havent gotten this in any of my other runs
#i normally make saves for all of his dialogues for easy reference 💔#anyway my character obv answered wyll and its funny considering some other stuff that happens in his story lmaooo#but yeah the reason why im playing him for the FOURTH!!! TIME!!!! is bc i tried to do an honour mode run with a new character#(who i like btw) but it just felt so awful to do my very first run with anyone but my most beloved#this has been pretty interesting tho bc this is honour mode so i actually have to use equipment that is optimal so#ive been doing this as a pyjama run bc i feel such attatchment to the looks they normally have in this campaign#its pretty funny when a serious scene plays and theyre just in casual camp clothes lmao#im doing a radiating orb build for my lore bard character. swords bard + thief rogue + fighter for astari0n. tempest cleric for shad0wheart#everyone else is the same as always. i chose strong builds which still have elements to how ive always played these characters#swords bard and throwing are obv crazy op so its been easy so far meaning when i go to the creche im gonna be humbled really quickly lol#ill say its been SO good to not have to play trickery cleric for once HFLDJSJDKDDK#i just personally like to keep everyone in their default classes and not respec the level 1s so ive never changed it
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In happier news, I may have solved my can't-write-longfics issue...
Turns out, I just needed structure; who could have ever possibly thought? XD
#i'm still on chapter 9 of 23 so this may be celebrating too early#but i've had no trouble keeping up with consistent posting/writing#unlike every single other time#i think for me the secret is to sit down and write the whole thing out#and then edit/change/adjust as i go#and most importantly: NOT to post the moment i'm done with a chapter#i think when i post immediately when i'm done i feel compelled to just quickly get the next chapter ready#and then post that immediately once it's done and then quickly get the chapter after that ready#so i'm constantly working at breakneck speed and burn myself out#this time i tried actually having a posting schedule and aimed for one chapter every weekend#which then gives me an entire week to work on the next chapter to get it ready#with plenty of time left over to work on drawing or cosplay or anything that's not more writing#so i haven't felt burned out at all#(or maybe it's just sas//ori and my obsession with him being that strong lmao)#(i guess we'll see XD)#withoutwords
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☀️
#a week ago i would've never thought that i'd arrive at this decision so soon#and so abruptly!!!!! and like. something about myself that i've always been proud about is my conviction n confidence. once i've made up my-#-mind it's almost impossible for anyone or anything to change it. and that's bc i know that i've already thought it through sooo thoroughly#i have so much conviction! my values my heart my logic brought me here! im sooo clear about what i want#n anyway back to the original point....... somehow everything was timed perfectly#it was a perfect storm. but the me from a week ago would've never thought that i'd decide so quickly#and now that i have. i feel so light and invincible. i have sooo much conviction that im doing the right thing#and if anyone's gonna try to change my mind they'd have to go through my values my heart and my head. not Easy!!! i'm so assured aha........#personal#i think i'm in a good place! i think there's nothing i cannot do!! i'll get through anything#im competent and capable and kind. im a decent person! flawed obviously but like. im alright#mayb this is what adulting is all about. learning to stand up for urself. learning that u don't have to put up with things at work bc-#-your values and heart are worth so much more than A Job. n you should protect everything that makes you You!!! oho
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i am still so weak dude even just using the trackpad on my laptop for a minute or maybe even less to scroll on tumblr was enough to make my arm tingly nd numb
#and it just spreads out through my body i am so oug......#i slept since 1pm yesterday to 6am today i think? and i still feel so tired my brain cant function#i just feel so heavy n like even breathing is taking every ounce of energy i have#i dont even know why it's hitting me so hard right now#usually i only pass out once or twice in a month n i recover pretty quickly but this has been rapid fire n constantly getting worse#i dont even think ill be able to go back to silks this week :(#and that fucking sucks not only because i really enjoy it but also it's the only thing that gets me out of the house#it's the only thing i have to use against my anxiety#i just feel like im stuck getting physically worse n because of that ill be forced to mentally regress from all the work ive put in#at the same im. doing a lot better mentally i think just because i hav my partner n being able to spend time w them just. changes everythin#everything is so much better & feels so much more possible#maybe ill be ok if i have that#it's not the full isolation downward spiral that would usually happen#i still have something 2 push myself for#i still have a bit of a continuous thing going im still not. failing? maybe . i dont know#from the second i go 2 sleep 2 the second i can talk to them again i cam looking forward to it i am buzzing#i just wish my body would allow me to have good things o(-<
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have you watched the pjo show?
I saw the first 2 episodes when they came out at a watch party one of my friends threw, and as soon as they ended I realized I didn't particularly care to keep going. It wasn't like, outrageously bad by any means, I just don't think it gripped me enough to want to continue, and there were enough odd adaptational choices that I thought weakened the story that I lost interest. I might have tuned back in if the changes actually built to something interesting in the later episodes, but from everything I've seen it kinda seems like they just took the teeth out of the story, which was what I was worried about.
That being said, the cast seems really great and well suited to their roles, so like, if they improve the writing and pacing in the later seasons and stop sanding down all the rough edges, I might pick it back up. But otherwise, pass.
#im like famously bad at watching tv tho so me not wanting to continue is less dramatic than it probably sounds#i just don't really watch it casually anymore so I'll only follow along with shows that i really really like#i got another ask about the show a little while ago and i was like 'oh ill answer that once ive caught up' and then i never caught up so#sorry to whoever sent that i wasn't ignoring you i just never got to the ep you mentioned#like if I'm trying to be optimistic. given how quickly shows get canned if they're not immediately super popular. and given that this is a#disney product. its possible that once the show proves it can be commercially successful and the characters get older they might stop#playing it so safe and boring and bring some of the harder and more complicated elements back in. and like. that won't fix what they've#already fumbled but it will at least make the story better and more interesting. but idk how likely that is esp since#rick riordan seems totally on board with all the changes and it sounds like he doesn't really get why they diminish the story#like i feel like they're thinking too much about whether or not a change has a huge impact on the plot and not enough about how it#impacts the characters and the overall theme and vibe of the story. if that makes sense#like sure we still got from point A to point B in roughly the same way but that trip means something different for the characters now#and if you do that enough times you end up with a completely different result at the end even if we're technically in the same place#percy jackson show#asks
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@beatingheart-bride
Setting aside his knife and fork, Randall gently took her hand in his with a soft smile, saying, "I appreciate that-I...I don't want to pry if you don't want me to...but if you're willing to talk about it, I'm willing to listen."
On the one hand, he didn't want to bring down the mood again; they were enjoying a lovely dinner (or rather, he was; he felt a twinge of guilt, worried that her lack of an appetite was his fault), watching a great movie and about to begin working on the model kit, and he didn't want to completely ruin the evening...
...but at the same time, a part of him wanted to ask-not because he was nosy, but because he felt it might do Emily some good to talk about it. She seemed so very lonely, a fact that broke his heart, and that she had a lot on her mind as a result. He wanted to help to alleviate that loneliness, that heartache, if he could.
Without thinking about it, he brought her hand up to kiss her knuckle, an action that almost felt like a reflex when he did it. It felt as if he had done it a thousand times before...even if, surely, he hadn't. Realizing this, he blushed and let go of her hand, saying shyly, "Th-That was forward of me, I-I'm sorry."
#((exactly! it's gonna be such an intense wave of memories; both good and bad))#((and all the associated feelings; it would be overwhelming for anybody!))#((and so he's gonna appreciate emily being there; just as she's going to appreciate having him remember her))#((and the love they shared once upon a time; and will share again!))#((and as you said; the decision to turn randall isn't going to be an easy one for emily!))#((he comes to the conclusion that he wants the change fairly quickly...but he'll have to convince her))#((and that'll be a tough sell; because as much as she wants him to be there; to never lose him again))#((she also doesn't want him damning his soul on her account; nor going through the pain that she did!))#((he'll still manage to convince her but even so...oof!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Dark Shadows
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