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skz-bella · 1 year ago

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝘽𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙖: 𝙊𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 (𝙛𝙖𝙠𝙚) 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙣𝙖𝙚

Taglist: @curly-fr13s @elizalabs3

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP ONE

It was during their 5-STAR 3RD fanmeet. Lee Know was waving towards the STAYs in the crowd when Bella ran towards him with a goofy smile on her face. Naturally, Lee Know looked at her, confused.

It was only after a few moments did Bella begin to do aegyo in front of him, her smile as bright as the lights behind her. This made Lee Know smile, his eyes crinkling at her cuteness.

After she was done, she held up a flower that a STAY threw into the crowd, silently asking if she could put it on him. He agreed, bending downwards slightly so as to give her access to his hair. Bella placed it gently, making sure not to ruin the work of the stylist.

She patted his head after she was done. But before he could stand up straight, she quickly kissed his cheek before running off, giggling. Lee Know merely shook his head as he looked at her endearingly.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP TWO

As they filmed for TOPLINE, Bella was waiting for her shoot to begin as she sat gracefully sat upon a stack of (fake) money. As she waited, Changbin came to her filing for the Making Film.

"And here is the beautiful Bella." He said, raising his hand to pat her head. "Say hi to STAYs."

"Hi STAY~' She smiled happily, her eyes shut in happiness. Behind the camera, Changbin smiled and placed his hand on her cheek. This just made Bella leaned into his cheek, making Changbin squeeze her cheeks with his thumb and index finger.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP THREE

After a showcase at M!Countdown, the group were resting backstage and were filming it for their fans. At that certain point in time, it was Han who was filming himself lying on the ground on his back, his hair sprawled all over.

"We just finished performing CASE 143 at M!Countdown." He sounded breathless. "Please watch it and support us!"

"I'm so tired~" Han's eyes moved to somewhere off screen at hearing the familiar voice. Soon after he laughed before talking to the camera again. "Bella-noona is complaining she's tired."

After a moment of sounds of incoherent mumbling of Bella, Han is seen moving the camera away from his face and Bella's pink hair came into view. She lay onto his chest, making Han laugh.

"Are you tired?" Bella hummed. "Have you eaten?" There was silence. "You haven't eaten, have you?" Now, Bella hummed. Han playfully groaned, combing his fingers through her hair. "What are we going to do with you?" Bella laughed. "You love me though!"

"Unfortunately."

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP FOUR

Seungmin and Bella were filming themselves for a video for their fans as they went out shopping for stuff for the house. As they passed by a shop, Bella spotted a really pretty dress on the one of the display windows. She tugged on Seungmin's hoodie making him turn to her.

"Let's buy that!" She pointed at the dress.

Seungmin raised an eyebrow. "With what money?"

"Yours." The answer was immediate, making him to shake his head.

"No." He began to walk forward but Bella pulled hs hoodie harder.

"Please, Seungminnie~"

"Aren't you the older one out of the two of us?"

"Please buy it for me!"

Next thing STAYs knew, Bella posted herself on BUBBLE and Instagram wearing the same dress she had been asking Seungmin to buy for her. The power she holds is truly incredible.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP FIVE

During a SKZ CODE episode, Bella and I.N were paired up for a challenge. The two had to find three items on the second floor of an abandoned school building. Problem was that the staff decorated the place to look haunted and absolutely terrifying.

"It's so dark in here." Bella whispered to the camera she was holding.

"I feel something is going to pop out of nowhere." I.N whispered back.

"Right?" They climbed the stairs slowly, checking for any people in the dark. Just as they reached the top floor, they heard a door shut making Bella shout for a moment.

"YAH!" I.N looked at her. "What?"

"Someone is here." She looked around, staring down the hallway.

"Of course there is, noona." He sounded tired. "There are staff here recording us for our show."

"Eek!" She screamed, completely ignoring his words, and latching onto his arm. "It's a rat. Carry me Jeonginnie!"

"No!" He (gently) tried to push her away but failed as her grip was tight. "Please, I'm begging you."

That's how the real maknae, I.N, ended up carrying the fake maknae, Bella throughout their mission. Whenever she screamt, he shouted to her not to and threatened to drop her, however never dared to do so.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP SIX

Bella and Bang Chan were participating in a photoshoot for a famous magazine (you guys can decide which one). The photographers had suggested that the two of them decide on poses together as they were the ones who were being taken pictures and so as to not feel uncomfortable.

Since they had changed to fancy black and white clothes for the theme, they chose six poses to do together, three extra ones to not be included in the magazine but be sent to them so that they could send them to their fans.

After they had posed for the magazine, they went on to do the silly poses they had planned for STAY. From kissy faces to full on chaotic poses, they had enough to satisfy their fans for probably the next month.

For the last pose however, Chan and Bella had to hug and one of them would be side hugging the other. Naturally, since Chan was taller he would be the one hugging her but Bella had other plans.

"No!~" She whined. "I want to be the big spoon!" Chan laughed, reminding himself to kill Changbin for teaching her that phrase, while he tried to explain to her why he should be the one to do it, but she was adamant.

"But Bella, it makes more sense when I do it." He said while laughing. Bella monotonously stared at him before walking away making him follow her. In the end, unable to deny her cuteness and persistence, he agreed and she was hugging him in the end.

[EXTRA: When he agreed, they soon figured out that Chan was much taller than Bella for her to be the big spoon. However, not wanting to give up, she forced him to sit on a white block, while Chan laughed. He complied and Bella sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck.]

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP SEVEN

"What do you mean you burnt water? How is that possible?!" "I don't know either! Leave me alone!"

Felix and Bella were having a V-Live during their World Tour, a few days before a show. It wasn't a planned live (are any of them are really?) and the two were having fun not being watched by the staff, taking full advantage of the situation.

The topics discussed ranged from work, to family to random ones which was where they were right now. "What were you even doing?"

Bella laughed and covered her mouth. "I don't know, I think I was using my phone then it happened."

"You see STAY? Don't cook and use your phone at the same time." Felix turned to the camera and pointed towards it, talking to STAY. Bella laughed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Yeah okay, I learnt my lesson. But damn the water was so hot I cried when I burnt myself-"

"You burnt yourself?!" His fake angry face quickly melted into one of concern. "Where?!" Bella soundlessly pointed at her hand and Felix took it in his, as if it were a fragile object.

"Oh, you poor thing." He whispered before sweetly kissing the spot she pointed at. After a few moments he rubbed her head affectionately. "My poor baby~"

While her cheeks were pink from embarrassment, she managed to mumble out "I'm older than you Yongbokie~"

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⌦ .｡.:*♡ CLIP EIGHT

It was no secret that Hyunjin, being the absolute simp he is, had an entire polaroid dedicated to taking photos of her. Bella knew this and always used her cuteness so she can get things from him.

"I'm hungry!" She had whined once during a group VLive after the members had, coincidentally, teased her for having a large appetite just minutes prior. Hyunjin immediately glanced to her and began to tap on his phone. Not even five minutes later, a plate of kimchi arrived for the one and only Bella herself.

Another scene: "I've been eyeing this bag of Louis Vuitton for a while and I was thinking of buying when I get my paycheck next month." Bella said to the camera while Hyunjin could be seen with his stylist some few metres from her, listening.

The next day, Bella had a bag on her lap as someone did her makeup. "Oh this?" She gestured to the bag after the makeup artist had asked her. "Hyunjin got this for me yesterday. Weird it was the bag I wanted to buy later."

Last scene: Hyunjin was given a polaroid camera by his parents a few years back however he was tasked, by the staff, to take two photos of one of his fellow members and and kiss it before giving it to them.

"Hyunjin, I'm your boyfriend so the most obvious choice." Changbin said slinging his arm over his shoulder, making him laugh.

"Don't listen to him. I'm your boyfriend." Han playfully pushed Changbin away and hugged while the other members protested, wanting Hyunjin's stain of a kiss. Meanwhile, Bella was sitting in the corner of the room, smiling to herself and watching the chaotic men before her.

As if he could feel her gaze, Hyunjin turned to look at her. Bella noticed this and smiled cutely, giving him her most cutest smile. Hyunjin could be seen freezing before shouting that he had made a decision. With that he stood up and walked towards Bella and proceeded to take the photos, smiling innocently as the picture was manufactured as the other members stared in shock.

As soon as they were done, he placed a sweet kiss on each of them, his light pink lips balm prints left on them, and hands them to her, not before kissing her temple. That was how Bella ended up with a picture of herself as her phone case for the next four months.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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xxstraykidsaikoxx · 1 year ago

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sᴛʀᴀʏ ᴋɪᴅs

• ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖

➷ BANG CHAN (AiChan)

• Father-Daughter

• EnglishRacha

♡ His contact name: Channie❣️

♡ Her contact name: Baby Kangaroo💗

From the moment he saw her talent, he knew that she had to be apart of SKZ. Was the only one out of the boys to fully believe she could make a name for herself being the only and youngest female member. She looks to him for guidance and always follows his lead to a T. Channie was the first person besides her childhood friend to see her cry, and ever since, he's always been the person she goes to whenever things get overwhelming.

ICONIC MOMENTS:

During ISAC, Aiko was spotted sleeping on Channie's lap as he rubbed her head gently which melted the hearts of many STAYS

During the Food Wars episode of SKZ CODE, Aiko was on Chan's team and when he, Ai and Felix were crowded around a pot complaining in english with eachother which earned them the name 'EnglishRacha', Chan got 'annoyed' with her and called her by her korean name

In the 5-STAR Intro video, when the topic of 'Youtiful' was brought up, Aiko said she had wrote it with a double meaning, one of those being a reflection of her relationship with Chan

During a concert during the MANIAC tour, when Chan had jumped on the platform to perform 'Charmer', Aiko jumped after him and while she struggled to get up, she still did, STAYs nicknaming her 'Baby Kangaroo'

During a Channie's Room where Ai was a guest, a STAY asked if Aiko could replicate Chan's accent, Aiko asked what word do Aussie's use most often to make it believable, and before Chan could answer she made sure to say 'A word that's appropriate'

➷ LEE KNOW (MinKo)

• Brother-Sister

• Dance Better-Speak English Better Duo

♡ His contact name: Cat hoarder™

♡ Her contact name: Leader of Paboracha©

Hated eachother from first glance. Okay not really but they didn't really hit it off when they met. Even so, they stayed civil until the Survival Program. They had been forced to spend time together since they were eventually going to be bandmates. She enjoyed his comfortable silence, and he made her laugh, while she didn't push him to speak out. Ever since then, the two were close. Today they've become to what some STAYs call 'Unrelated siblings'. They are always at each others throats, some thinking that the two actually hate eachother.

ICONIC MOMENTS:

In 2021, Aiko had collapsed on stage due to a new diet JYP Staff had put her on, and Minho was the first one to rush to her side

Only one other than Jisung he trusts with his cats, and during the 'Two Kids One Room' she said she'd kidnap them one day

On multiple accounts, Aiko has been the one to help Minho with his english and even japanese, and she gets so happy whenever he gets sentences right

When he was struggling to read japanese letters during a live she was silently laughing at him and when he looked at her with an annoyed as fuck look she lost it and started laughing

During the Variety Game where they couldn't say english words, Aiko was on Minho's team and when he said an english word she tackled him and jokingly said she regretted teaching him english

During a stage during the MANIAC tour, when they got to FAM and it was Minho's turn and verse Aiko lightly pushed Minho as a joke, he escalated the gesture and pushed her harder then the two started to play fight on stage and when his verse finished, he put Aiko in a headlock and begun to sing his part while dragging her around in the headlock.

➷ CHANGBIN (AiBin)

• Chaotic Shorties

• RapRacha

♡ His contact name: binnie🐽

♡ Her contact name: kukuma🐈‍⬛

Thought she was okay when they first met. Didn't really get to know eachother too well since he was busy with 3Racha. But as time progressed, they realized they had something in common, they were both the shortest members. While the others and STAYs tease them about it, they've bonded over it and there are many moments of them being chaotic together. He always helps her perfect her rapping skills since in her eyes, Binnie's the best rapper she's ever heard.

ICONIC MOMENTS:

During SKZ-X LOVESTAY live, when Binnie said he was the tallest out of them all and everyone stood up besides Aiko and immediately started laughing

Also during the live when Binnie was asked if he liked having tracks written by JYP, Aiko suggested that he hold up the X and have the staff edit it out since the two both have a strained relationship with JYP

➷ HYUNJIN (AiHyun)

• Enemies to lovers

• Padoracha leaders

♡ His contact name: Cupid💕

♡ Her contact name: Muse💓

At first, they were anything but a happy couple. Always getting into petty arguments and going at each other for the littlest things. It was when Minho and Felix's elimination when the two had begun to grow close. Ai had major survivor's guilt, and she felt like if she hadn't been made part of the project so late, then the two would've been safe. Hyunjin had felt bad for the youngest member and decided to comfort her. Officially became a couple in 2020, and in March of 2023, their three year long relationship had been revealed.

ICONIC MOMENTS:

During the MANIAC tour, Felix and Channie had begun to 'fight' over who's maknae Aiko was, and before she could process life, Hyun went behind her and picked her up, claiming that she was his maknae

When they went to do the event with baby Rowoo, Aiko was very hesitant since she wasn't really great with small kids, but when she saw the baby with Hyun, she got a bad case of baby fever

During the SKZ CODE where they went to the haunted school, when the lights had gotten cut for a few seconds and Hyun went to hug the maknae line, Aiko immediately clung to him and when the lights came back on, Aiko was clinging to his waist

On a recent IG post, Hyun posted him and Aiko on a date, with the caption 'no one can replace you, my muse❤'

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

#stray kids 9th member #female addition #kpop added member #skz female addition #skz addition #skz female member #stray kids added member #stray kids scenarios #fake kpop idol #fake kpop oc

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kokinu09 · 5 months ago

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Let Go of the Reins || Chapter 7

pairing seungmin x fem!reader

genre strangers to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst later, happy ending, social media, not meant to be, someday

summary Australia is considered home for two of the eight members. When two tour dates are scheduled for the land down under, the boys can’t help but want to spend a bit more time there to visit family and do a little sightseeing. So how do they convince the company that they need to stay a couple weeks? Filming some SKZ Code episodes.

A local riding school just outside the city with amazing reviews for their skilled instructors and beautiful horses is hosting a very popular kpop group to film their experiences. Y/N knows the group well and she just so happens to be their star working student.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

previous | masterlist | next

~*~

You and Liv got to the venue early like Seungmin requested, about 2 hours to be exact. If it hadn’t been for the two of you having to get a few things done at the ranch that morning, you probably would’ve been there even sooner. The excitement for the concert causing your body to basically vibrate with anticipation, a permanent smile plastered on your face even as you lugged the massive buckets of feed around the barn in the wee hours of the day.

So far, the experience has been incredible. The STAY that you’ve met are some of the sweetest people; chatting with you and Liv while waiting in concession lines or for merch, complimenting your outfits to no end, and even offering you little freebies for no reason other than the mutual love of Stray Kids.

Every time the most common question in the entire K-pop community is asked, “Who’s your bias?”, you find a certain member's name falling from your lips. The answer should be the same as it’s always been. Bang Chan. You’ve been an unwavering Chan stan for as long as you’ve been listening to Stray Kids. But lately, it seems you’ve had a change of heart.

“So~,” Liv sing-songs and you already know the teasing is about to begin, “your new bias is Seungmin, huh?” Her eyebrows wiggle as you two walk away from another group of friendly STAYs.

“I don’t know why you’re surprised,” you say with a roll of your eyes.

“Oh, I’m not~!” She chirps. “I think it’s super cute!”

“Yeah, and I’m sure Han would be offended that you’ve switched rappers on him.”

“Hey! I told everyone Han is still my bias!” Liv argued with her full chest. Hand fisted on her hips and all.

“Riiight, then shouldn’t that freebie be HanQuokka instead of Dwaekki?” You say, pointing out the little SKZOO inspired pin the talented STAY had just gifted her.

“I—!” She cuts off her own protest, cheeks puffed out in a pout as she crosses her arms. “Maybe Changbin is being a bit of a wrecker lately….” She mumbles with a pink blush spreading across her nose. You do your best to hide your snicker at her expense.

The two of you walk around for a few more minutes but the longer you’re there, the more anxious you’re becoming about these mystery seats that Seungmin has promised. So you decide to make your way to the staircase to meet up with your escort.

When the stairs finally come into sight, you notice a large, like huge, security guard standing just off to the side of it. He’s dressed in all black and a black pair of shades over his eyes, even though he’s inside.

You want to laugh but he is definitely too scary looking to laugh at.

“Think that’s our guy?” Olivia leans in to ask in a hushed tone.

“I’d say so.” You reply, leading the way toward Mr. Scary-Security-Guard.

He seems to be looking for something (or someone) with the way his head is on a swivel until he spots you two approaching. It’s hard not to gulp as you realize how mountainous of a man this guy really is when you get closer. He looks like he could take on the entire stadium if it came down to it.

Was it really necessary for Seungmin to send this guy to walk them to some seats? Did he think they’d get mugged by some STAY along the way? Unlikely.

But you put on a nervous smile anyway and ask, “This is going to sound stupid but…are you here to show us to our seats…?”

The man is stone cold, the firm set of his mouth doesn’t budge even a centimeter. “Are you Y/N?” He asks in a (very intimidating) deep, baritone voice.

“Y-yeah! And this is Liv!” You say, quickly looping your arm with hers so you’re not in the center of attention. He nods his head at the introduction then extends his arm in the direction along the side of the stairs.

“This way ladies.” He says before leading them as they get to walking.

His threatening demeanor alone clears the path for them, everyone content with avoiding getting in his way. The eyes of passersby follow you in curiosity, wondering who you might be to deserve such an escort. You keep your head down and urge your feet to go one foot in front of the other.

All the way until he brought you to an ‘Authorized Personnel Only’ door. You and Liv both stop when he opens it. And he looks back at the two of you expectantly. You glance over at your friend and catch her eying you too. But you decide to trust Seungmin’s word about better seats and continue to follow Mr. Big-and-Grumpy.

The sounds of the three of your footsteps echo around the concrete walls of the service hallway they are now making their way down. You were starting to think there really was something to Seungmin’s suspiciously vague messages.

“So, um, where exactly are we going?” You ask hesitantly.

Your question is met with silence for a long minute. You’re sure he’s not going to answer but then he says, “It was requested that I bring you to meet with the band before escorting you to your actual seats.”

While your mouth drops open in surprise, Liv beside you squeals. “Really?! No way! This is totally awesome!” She cheers, bouncing with each step and tugging on your arm in excitement.

The shock of it slowly wears off and a smile forms on your face instead. An excitement of your own warming your heart and causing the butterflies in your stomach to start fluttering. Seungmin really did make sure he’d get to see you for the show.

The two of you have a pep in your step now, following a little closer behind your escort. No longer fearful of his wrath knowing the guys were expecting you.

“What’s your name, Big Guy?” Liv boldly asks eventually.

After another pause, you wonder if he’s being careful of what he says to you two. But this time he responds quicker. “Smitty.”

“Cool name,” Liv says under her breath.

“It’s nice to meet you, Smitty,” you opt to reply instead.

“Mhm,” he grunts and then another patch of silence falls between you three. You think it will stay that way but then he speaks up again.

“Are you dating,” it barely sounds like a question. And you’re so confused by it that your face scrunches and twists in the most unattractive way.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you dating him,” he clarifies, still not sounding like he’s asking.

“Dating who?” You press, earning a frustrated sigh.

“Seungmin. The one who specifically asked me, their personal security, to bring you to them safely. Are you dating him.”

“No! No, no, I’m not. He wouldn’t—” You were abruptly cut off by your best friend.

“Girl, I’m gonna stop you right there ‘cause yes he would.” Liv says, giving you a seriously nasty glare that you’d be afraid of if you didn’t know her as well as you do. Then she straightens up to address Smitty again. “And what’s it to you anyways? Why would you possibly care who either of them date?”

Her attitude seems to strike a nerve as he stops, you almost bump into his back but thankfully you don’t. He turns to face you and gives Olivia a side eye from overtop the rim of his sunglasses.

“I only ask because I have been working security for these kids for over 2 years for their tours and never once has any of them even remotely done something like this for a girl.” He explains, not looking angry but maybe a bit worried. “He’s a good kid with a big heart. If you’re only in it for the money or the clout, please, just enjoy this concert and part ways with him. He doesn’t deserve to be strung along and hurt like that.”

“Wha—? I would never use him! I bought tickets on my own! I never asked him to bump me into better ones or even to arrange this meet-and-greet!” You’re quick to defend yourself, taking a deep breath to calm down. “I know you’re only saying this because you care, but I intend to stay his friend, or whatever he wants me to be, for as long as he’ll have me. If anyone’s going to get hurt, it’ll be me.”

Your eyes burn with angry tears as you glare up at him. Angry that anyone would take advantage of the guys like that. Angry that people like to act like they know you and make assumptions. Angry that you just spilled your heart out to this stupid security guard and now you feel raw.

Liv’s hand is gentle when it lands on your shoulder, a soft and watery smile on her face when you turn away from Smitty to look at her. And she quickly wraps you in a hug, knowing how big it was for you to admit your feelings out loud like that.

When you hear the man clearing his throat, your attention is drawn back to him. Though your hard eyes and deep frown have returned to your features. He starts to chuckle, which should have pissed you off but it didn’t.

“You’ve got spunk girls.” He says through his laughter, taking a moment to recompose but a smirk still remaining. “And you seem genuine, so I’ll believe you.”

Your shoulders relax, a tension you didn’t even realize you were carrying leaving your body as if getting this man’s approval meant you could get anyone’s. He turns to continue in the direction you all were originally heading but glances over his shoulder at you. “Let’s keep moving. I don’t really wanna lose my job for keeping your boyfriend waiting.” Now he’s teasing you?!

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You groan, earning a giggle from Liv as you follow along anyway.

Willing to give up the argument if it means seeing him a little bit sooner.

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds

@bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08

@keepswingin

#let go of the reins #seungmin x reader #stray kids smau #skz smau #seungmin #stray kids fic #skz fic

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justsomekpopstuff · 5 days ago

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Get to Know the Stay!

Thank you @seungfl0wer for the tag! Wishing you well!! You will also see very quickly that I am horribly indecisive lol

1: What’s your current bias line?

Current biases are Bang Chan and Changbin, with the bias wrecker being Lee Know!

2: Who’s the one that made you Stan?

Felix actually! The first time I saw him I was like "how old is this kid? where is his mother??" and then I heard his VOICE and I was like "oh he is GOING places". Then I slowly got to know more about all the rest of the boys on the elimination show (what a time THAT was to be on kpop tumblr, lemme tell you) and now I'm here all these years later!

3: What song was your first?

Hellevator! I was there for the elimination show, but REALLY got into them once they debuted.

4: What’s your current favorite song?

I have a soft spot for "Maniac" and "My Pace" still (I know, older discography, don't judge). Off the new album though, "JJAM" is probably my favorite.

5: What members personally resembles yours the most?

Oh gosh, probably Bang Chan? Used to being the caretaker, the responsible party, kind and caring, but also having a pretty strong gremlin energy too I would say is a pretty close description of both of us.

6: If you had to pick a specific racha which would you choose?

Paboracha bless them. If I wasn't so similar to Bang Chan I'd probably be a member of Paboracha too 😂

7: What’s one attribute of the members do you like the most? (Example: Chans dimples)

Oooo that's a good question...Felix's freckles? I'm endeared by them. Han and Changbin's cheeks are a close second. (and I do mean FACE cheeks, I promise)

8: What’s your favorite album?

A tie between "ATE" and "NoEasy" I think.

9: Do you have any albums?

Ironically, I have a version of both "ATE" and "NoEasy" lol I'm super behind on them in terms of album ownership (i am ashamed of this fact)

10: Have you been to a concert?

I have not been to a Stray Kids concert! I haven't been able to afford it, even this time around...One day, maybe! I'd love to see them!

11: Who’s your favorite duo?

Oooo its tie between the Aussies (Bang Chan and Felix) and The Married Couple (Changbin and Hyunjin)

12: Favorite cover/solo songs:

I think "Stars and Raindrops" by Seungmin from the SKZ-REPLAY album? I have that song on multiple "relaxation" playlists, and his voice is just incredible.

13: Favorite SKZOO?

WolfChan and Jiniret!

14: If you had a day with one member what would you wanna do with them?

Oh my god where do I even start...I would say either a day doing touristy goofy fun things with Felix and enjoying the sunshine OR a day going to do artsy things like museums and art classes with Hyunjin!

15: Who’s your favorite singing voice?

In terms of singing, Seungmin and Bang Chan to me have some incredible vocals. For rapping though, even though Felix's voice is definitely the first one I recognize, I ALWAYS find myself absolutely going WILD whenever Changbin raps.

16: Who’s your favorite to watch dance?

Hyunjin and Lee Know. They both have such incredible flow, technique, and reflexes that its hard to not be completely mesmerized by them when they dance!

17: Do you have a favorite SKZ Code?

Oh I love any time they cause chaos, but the ones that stick out to me are the Chuseok Special where the Skz Family returned (Hyunjin's scream in that episode spoke to my soul lol) as well as the recent Go! Poolside episode.

18: Favorite MV?

"Hellevator" will always have a soft spot in my heart because it was their first, but I also loved the "Chk Chk Boom" mv

19: Who do you think you’d be best friends with?

Ooooo that's a good question...I don't know actually! My best guess is Bang Chan or Lee Know because we're around the same age and have a lot of similarities in personality and humor? I genuinely could not tell, my mutuals could probably answer this better!

20: Let’s feed those delusions, Who are you picking for a date and what are you doing?

YEEEEES I'm always down for some delulu feeding. I could say something stereotypical (*cough* bang chan nap date *cough*), but I'll go for something different. I would LOVE a, golden hour walk through the city with Changbin, doing some window shopping, that ends with takeout and a movie night and some sweets? Matching sweaters will be a requirement. We get the balance of good exercise with a walk AND some soft domestic time with the movie night. Perfection (in my opinion).

I now tag (no pressure!): @vesvosmozhno @yoonguurt @sheerfreesia007 @starlost-mochi-x and @multi-stantrash and any of my other followers/mutuals who want to do this!

#tagged #about me

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changlixx · 10 months ago

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hi. just found your blog and felt the need to say that i LOVE what you're doing. and also the need to share some of my own thoughts (over here hoping that this doesn't go against the guidelines in your pinned, lmfao)

despite me being a firm minsung believer (sorry if you're not LMAO, this is gonna be really awkward) i was always, like, really skeptical of other dating rumors. by other dating rumors i mean hyunlix, lol. i have thought that felix is into men from the get-go but the whole hyunlix thing never felt quite right to me. i've had my first "oh, are they...?" kinda thought after watching the recent changlix 2 kids show episode, but now going through your blog is just like... yeah. yeah they are. so thanks for that as well

the rest of this ask is gonna be a big tinfoil hat moment loosely inspired by you mentioning the possibility of changbin playflirting with hyunjin as a way to distract the public from the real deal because he might be uncomfortable with changlix shippers. it's also gonna be me taking my belief that changlix & minsung are dating and making it the baseline, so like... as i've said, if you're against minsung this will be awkward. LOL. but whatever :) i'm just some silly anonymous person on tumblr dot com

i think you're both right and wrong at the same time? as in, the playflirting is obviously happening to distract people from the real deal, but i don't think that it's changbin's decision to do so per se. i think it's the management. and yeah, ik that blaming things on the ✨ evil ✨management is like, poster girl for conspiracy behavior, but hear me out:

1. stray kids are quickly rising in fame and if i had to pinpoint when they started gaining momentum and had a breakthrough in the recent years, it would be 5 star era. full album, etc. with that influx of fans it's only natural that they would have to start being more careful with their reputation, which, of course, includes dating

2. coincidentally, the hyunjin/changbin thing started being pushed around the same time. even back then i thought it was weird, since it wasn't obviously just the boys having fun - i mean, no, i do think they're having fun and probably find the whole thing bloody hilarious, but it was more than just that. the way things they were edited, to include as many hyunjin/changbin moments as possible felt weird to me. i didn't even think of changlix as a possibility back then so it wasn't like i was biased, but i felt like the editors were just told to push hyunjin/changbin down the viewers' throats for apparently no reason

3. another coincidence - in the most recent comeback, right after their unit song dropped and people started freaking out because things began seeming real, the same thing started happening to minsung, except this time with hyunjin/minho

now i... don't think that the boys are being held hostage in the Fanservice Basement where the Evil Management is holding them at gunpoint. but i think it is highly possible that they were told to just up their game in the "fanservice with other members" department and that the editors were told to include more of these moments in the final cut. both as a distraction and as a safeguard. so every time there's a, say, changlix moment, people who don't really pay attention to the ships/don't care for that would excuse it with "well, changbin is like this with other group members as well, there's nothing suspicious about that", ykwim? they are also all adults and understand very well how the industry works, etc. i do find it weird that both times it's hyunjin at the crime scene, but then again - i think he also finds it pretty funny, and he's also one of the more popular members. any ship with him is guaranteed to have a certain amount of insane people ready to eat that up just because more fans means more crazies, lmao

but then again, this is just me and my tinfoil hat, oops. sorry if you do mind people waltzing into your inbox like this </3

hiiiiii sorry for responding super late, i hope you're still around to see this answer! thank you so much for this ask, i love it, it's so long and thoughtful! that said, i'm about to disagree with everything you said jdgfdsfsdg i'm sorry. first of all i don't believe in minsung at all. no hate to anyone who does, you're all smart and valid and beautiful but i don't think they're dating or they ever have been. i do think minho has a big sad unrequited crush on jisung or at least he used to but that's it. i think so because the minsung ship is treated as such a joke among the skz members. obviously it's the most popular ship in skz so the members love teasing them with it. i don't think they'd do that if they were actually dating. and now minchan is becoming a juggernaut ship in skz and chan is ON that fanservice train. he takes every opportunity he gets to make the minchaners happy bc he knows how to play the game. so that's the first point on which i fundamentally disagree with you.

the second one is the company involvement in changbin flirting with hyunjin. obviously there is a possibility that that's the case but i tend to stay away from what i call the larry excuse. the notion that the company is dictating what to do about fanservice and managing which ships are popular, pushing one ship when another gets too big or suppressing other ships feels silly to me. i don't think div1 concerns themselves with that. they just look at which ships are popular and push those because it makes numbers. also the larry excuse is just so lazy lmao. you can just say that it's the evil company's fault and no one can disprove it because no one knows shit about what goes on in that building. it's an easily defendable position. and that's why it's completely boring to me to discuss what the faceless people behind the curtain might be plotting because we will never know so we might as well just not even try to speculate, you know? i know we like to put every decision we don't like on the people we don't know, but i think the members decide what they do in terms of fanservice.

my point was that i think that changbin flirts with hyunjin bc he himself got a little uncomfortable with how big the changlix ship had gotten and he just didn't want it to be quite as centered. that's what it looks like to me based on how he interacts with felix and with hyunjin (side note, changbin's flirting with hyunjin didn't start around 5 star era, it started way earlier. maybe even as early as noeasy. i agree that it's gotten way more intense around 5 star but it has been going on for quite a while). i don't think he's actually trying to make people think he's into hyunjin, it's just playflirting. it's fun and it gets screentime and it makes people talk less about changlix. and it's totally working! changlix as a ship is becoming less and less popular and hyunbin is growing.

again thank you for your ask! i hope it's not disappointing to you that i disagree with what you said. but you know, i'm just one changlixer of many so it doesn't matter what i think!

❤️❤️❤️

#changlix

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silverpiwon · 7 months ago

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I think part of the reason why fandoms take queendom/kingdom very seriously is because mnet does and the groups do, I wish it could be a laid back way to showcase awesome performances and have!!! idols!!! interact with each other !!!!!! I feel like those two things should be the biggest part of the show not the competition itself. I've been thinking about Drace Race All Stars 8 and how fun it was and how I would love to see Kingdom do something similar, fans loved it because there were no eliminations, they didn't try and force any drama, it was about highlighting the best of the best. I think one way to do this would be to have a competition for best leader rather than best groups. My thinking is each episode the groups are changed so you have unique combinations of idols you wouldn't get elsewhere and it's hard to hate on other groups when your favs are literally in them. So the leaders are assigned members from other groups and maybe their own depending on numbers and they have to lead the group in creating a performance and trying to win. I think the vote would be 50% professionals and 50% the groups voting for each other because groups with larger fandoms have an unfair advantage because let's be real fans will never vote entirely fairly. Instead they'll vote for the duos they want to see perform together. For example if Ateez, Stray Kids, P1harmony and Xikers were competing the fans might vote for Wooyoung and Changbin to be put in the same team and they're assigned to Keeho alongside Sumin, Yunho, Lee Know, Jinsik. That same episode they might also vote for Jongseob and Yechan to be paired and then they're assigned to Hongjoong alongside Lee Know, Intak, Felix, Yujun and Theo if that makes sense? So it shifts the focus from competition to friendship and creating great art. The competition aspect is simply giving points to the leaders who win so there is a consistent narrative and an overall winner but it's not so emphasised. Maybe also a prize for the winning team each episode like a meal or other variety show type prizes. Of course I don't think this would end all fandom fighting but hopefully it would stop the majority of fighting and maybe even bring them together to cheer for their favs. Sorry this is so long, can you tell I've already given great thought to this? My favourite part of Kingdom was the mixed group subunits and I honestly just want to see more of that

Haha the long messages are fine ^^

I totally agree that the mixed group subunits were amazing and it led to so many fun interactions!! I wish we could see a show that’s less stressful, just like the fun parts of Kingdom :( I really wish the fans could see the bigger picture but when you compete for the title of “the best” it always ends up being stressful and frequently unfair. Everybody want their favorite group to be appreciated but in the end there’s only one winner.

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braemjeorn · 7 months ago

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the more i learn abt hwang kwanghee's idol career the more bewildered i am.

i believe i saw him first as a host for weekly idol, I think the guest were either skz or nct dream

by that time I didn't think he was an idol, that he was their 2nd gen sunbae, I just thought that he was one of the many famed hosts and mcs of variety shows, thankful that he took care of the boys kindly

tHEN I went back to binging 'we got married'

and HIS NAME popped up

THERE I FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS AN IDOL

AND THAT HIS GROUP MEMBER IS IM SIWAN

whom I saw in run on and it was such a lovely drama with a lovely ost and mr im himself was lovely

this revelation was a bit of a wtflipping smokes moment subdued only by me being distracted about wgm

these two people? in the same group? who'd have thought!???

in my defense, I wasn't paying much attention when reading through siwan's career

back to WGM

it started off real awkward but man...

him and his 'wife', han sunhwa

I tell you those two just matched up really well

if someone was acting chaotically extroverted with me I would have let out an embarrassed laugh and went please stop I cannot match that energy or something like aren't you too much for this hour?

i think some couples on wgm are like that as well

these TWO on the other hand

"we're gonna pay our respects to these balloon horses in place of your parents? sure, why not. the yellow one is my mum. why is she neighing? well, she just said you have to take care of me better."

you're crazy and so am I energy

and there's this one time seonhwa got such a mrs elton (mi cara sposo) energy going "my dear husband won an award as an up-and-coming celebrity of the year and he didn't even think to tell me!"

the way they just answer each other's antics is to die for

so ordinary couple coded those two

silly wild guy and a pretty girl who's as wild as him

and I think kwanghee actually liked seonhwa omalord //>.

she spoke about it in radio star mbc(? or whatever talk show that was) how he gifted her things and she felt she couldn't accept so much since they were just friends and all outside of shooting

and he's like "so you still think of me as a friend?"

(in her defense mr hwang, a girl gotta really guard her heart)

but she was kinda like "well, yeah"

so he went "arraseo - alright I get it, I won't rush you then."

dugeundugeun dokidoki moment I swear

the hosts in front of seonhwa def thought so

what a man WHAT A MAN INDEED

not standard handsome but has his charms and I admire that

(he scolded a hoobae for naming seonhwa his ideal woman lol)

God bless my elementary Korean, it helped so much already at understanding these uncaptioned clips

they flirt, they tease, they rizz each other up

they just get into each other's mischief without question and I just love that teamwork/union/partnership

I need to see more episodes abt them

on another thing that spurt out this post

I realized that kwanghee somehow looked like a combination of han and changbin??

that's the way I can put it as a 3rd gen kpop enthusiast, my apologies should I offend the veteran fans

like his jaw and chin and how it rounded nicely like a sunflower seed (what is this description lord)

you know how changbin have that notorious chin and hannie those jeekies

how they're not as manhwa-angled as minho or SM's flower boys or as firm and strong as chan's

I love this face category, I appreciate it

sunflower seed face ma lord why am I making up these terms

ALSO HE CHORTLES LIKE CHANGBIN

guys hilarious, one of them variety kings I'll bet

I think I saw on a youtube thumbnail kwanghee's picture on a video to note the list of idols who had plastic surgery which could just be uploaded for clout and all that clickbaities

he does look different if you compare his wgm looks (which was from 2013) to his recent 2020s contents

it could be surgery but it could also be how the styling for this decade and 2018 upward changed a lot since early 2010a kpop, hairstyle and all

or he just hit thirty and the fat melts by themselves

who knows bruh celebrities

whatever that was was not as wild as the fact that he did a stage with GDragon and Taeyang

MAbsOSAA

the Koreans in the comment section was wild about that performance

"ain't nobody gonna get on bigbang's level, nobody I tell you"

it was an amazing performance, but honestly I was just more bewildered over the fact that these people met

are even the same age and all that and just casually did collabs

97liners, what are yall up to?

look at me bewildered by recent history of hallyu

I may binge watch more wgm clips and look up kwanghee's performance as host to the younger idols

gonna look out for this man in the future for sure

I'll be back when I want to rant again LOLS

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bubblekrp · 10 months ago

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stray kids' lee minho (more than enough)

stray kids' seo changbin (star lost)

stray kids' hwang hyunjin (replay)

stray kids' lee yongbok (doll)

ateez' choi san (stay gone)

ateez' jeong yunho (wife)

ateez' kang yeosang (prescription)

ateez' kim hongjoong (bite me)

ateez' song mingi (sos)

the boyz's lee juyeon (to love)

soloist ha sooyoung (every me and every you)

nct's chittaphon leechaiyapornkul (ten) (ozone)

nct's kim doyoung (tomboy)

nct's nakamoto yuta (exes)

twice's myoi mina (tekkno train)

twice's minatozaki sana (i don't understand but i love you)

le sserafim's kim chaewon (i love it)

aespa's yoo jimin (karina) (episode)

bts' kim seokjin (shinunoga e wa)

bts' jeon jungkook (blue)

armts jeon heejin (really like you)

tomorrow x together choi yeonjun (blue hour)

seventeen's kim mingyu (billie jean)

seventeen's choi seungcheol (s.coups) (me)

astro's cha eunwoo (unlucky)

itzy's hwang yeji (nonesense)

blackpink's kim jisoo (illicit affairs)

blackpink's jennie kim (alkaline)

exo's byun baekhyun (open arms)

exo's park chanyeol (we made plans and god laughed)

welcome to bubble ! we're very excited to have you all with us. please proceed to add bubble app management within 48 hours, or your membership will be revoked. if need of an extension, please let the engineers know as soon as possible. happy matching !

#gen mewe #mewe krp #mewe rp #mewe roleplay #general krp #find krp #krphub #bubble:accepted

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huenjin · 4 years ago

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"i am never, ever, going to one of jisung's parties again."

you shift in your 'seat' to try and get comfortable which results in the person underneath to emit a low groan, hot breath fanning against your ear causing goosebumps to rise all over. it's such an inappropriate scene, the way changbin has you perched on his lap, firm hands on your hips to stop you from moving around too much. "comfy, princess?" he rasps, and you have to bite your lip from making any sounds you know will boost his ego. it's already sky high as it is. god you could almost feel the raging hard-on if you leaned further back, even just a little.

it's hyunjin's fault. you blame it all on hyunjin for dragging you there because he said you needed to "have fun and let loose" after 2 weeks of stress and sleepless nights during final exams. you really do appreciate his thoughtfulness, and he's not wrong for the most part, it's just that you would've preferred staying in to binge watch the latest episodes of private lives on netflix. you're so behind on the drama it's frustrating. but when he offered to buy you new clothes for the halloween party, you figured why not? there's no loss with those terms are there?

wrong. hyunjin just conveniently forgot to mention that your natural enemy seo changbin would also be there. and that he'd be hot as fuck dressed as a policeman. if you were being brutally honest you'd like for him to lock you up and use those handcuffs for you, but it's well known around the campus that y/n and changbin do not go together. you bicker, you fight, you squabble every single time you're in the same room, let alone the same space. he riles you up like no other, and you challenge him like none has.

the sexual tension though? un-fucking-believable.

in changbin's defense, you didn't have to look so sexy in that air hostess costume. a flight attendant? he'd love for you to attend to his needs instead. it's true, the both of you can't stand each other but what's a bit of hate sex can't fix? "probably everything." was what his best friend and fellow roommate chan had said. he might be true, but that won't stop changbin from trying now will it? no, of course not.

"truth or dare y/n?"

curse that beer bottle for landing in your direction twice in a row. the first ended up with you in that position. and now? it's about to get real. so there's two options. either you get zapped by the lie-detecting machine or pick a lousy dare. both you're sure will only end up in your misery because your whole group of friends will forever try and get either you or changbin to break and get into each other's pants (or skirts) already. there's no giving up in their dictionary unless when it comes to studying.

"dare."

changbin whistles at your decision, his intense stare burning holes at the back of your head as he removed one of his hands to rest on your bare thigh. every touch of his fingertips sends tingles up your spine, core starting to drip with want. the longing, the need to be filled is overwhelming that your brain turns into mush and all rational thoughts are out the window.

"i dare you.. to kiss changbin. french style, if you will."

fuck it, you thought. you want a show? fine, i'll give you a show.

in the blink of an eye you've switched positions to straddle his lap, taking off the hat he's wearing and placing it on yourself before leaning in to capture his lips with yours. he smirks during the kiss, feeling victorious at you finally giving in at your desires. under different circumstances you'd want to slap that smirk right off, but now you're in too far to care.

it's animalistic, how he has in tongue in you within a split second after giving your ass cheeks a particularly harsh squeeze. the gasp you let out encourages him to move lower and lower to where you need him most. the sucking and biting he litters under your jaw would be future y/n's problem to handle in the morning because right now, you're putty in his hold. the purple and red marks are a sign, a warning. this is seo changbin's territory.

your hands around his neck, tangled in his soft locks earns a string unholy moans you're sure you'll never get tired of hearing. he knows damn well what he's doing. not one sweet spot of yours did he miss, and by the end of it he has your dress bunched up around your waist, lower half grinding down on his crotch.

"fuck, princess, you're so beautiful."

the action has you seeing stars, pure bliss fuelling your veins which keeps you going on and on and on. every drag gets you higher and god does it feel good. when his lips find yours again his thrusts meet you halfway, sinful moans getting swallowed by the wet muscle exploring the vast of your mouth. his taste is your favourite flavor yet.

you well and truly lost it when his dominance takes over. "you're tired hmm? it's okay princess let me take care of you." the flex of his thigh and the way he's pressing you down so that your clit rubs deliciously against the material of his pants has you keening. the words slipping out of his mouth are downright filthy, the knot in your stomach so awfully tight you're afraid it'll snap without caution.

"b-bin- changbin please.."

the audacity of this man to send you a devilish smirk after all you did was be a good girl for him.

"please what, princess? you're so pretty begging for me like this aren't you?"

his praises, god his praises could send you to heaven and back. you live off of him being proud of you, complimenting you as if you're fully his. he owns you. all of you.

"please.. don't s-stop. ah i'm so close. p-please."

"since you asked so nicely."

one strong pull and you're spurting hot white fluid all over his thigh. your newly bought lace panties, needless to say is drenched and ruined from the intense orgasm you had but fuck was it worth it. he chuckles when you pant, soothing you through your high with more praises that has you whimpering for more.

"sensitive are we princess?"

you blush bright red as he takes a good look at you, the condition you're in making you avoid eye contact in embarrassment. hiding your face in his chest, he runs his fingers through your hair and laughs when you hum appreciatively.

"cute."

then you realise the rest of the the room is empty except for the both of you. for once you're actually glad jisung hosted this party because his huge mansion has plenty of rooms to occupy. the door though, is left wide open. so much for privacy.

"do you still hate me?"

he asks out of the blue, catching you completely off guard. you lean back and stare up at him, tilting your head as if he's just asked something ridiculous. he chuckles again, seeming whipped at how cute you were being in response to his question.

"i've never hated you."

"really? then why do you get mad when i flirt with you?"

"because!!!!"

fuck, this is not a post sex kind of conversation.

"because you flirt with literally everyone, bin. i wanted to hide the fact that i do like you so i pretended i didn't."

you expected him to say sorry for playing with your feelings, or at least apologise for giving you mixed signals but all he does is smile sheepishly.

"what? why are you smiling?"

"you called me bin. only my close friends and loved ones call me that."

"and?"

"we're dating as of now."

#changbin smut #from nara #big brain nara #stray kids smut #love parcels #THE WAY THIS IS WRITTEN AHAGAJAJ OMG NARA ILY AND YOUR BRAIN <333 #sparklemin #submission

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bandaigaeru · 4 years ago

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gravitational pull - seo changbin

→genre: brief fake dating, childhood friends to weird enemies to fake lovers to real lovers →synopsis: he was a glimmering star of hope until he exploded, suspending your relationship into a seesawing gravity. →pairing: changbin x gender neutral reader →word count: 8.1k →warnings: hyunjins kinda mean at one point, mentions of alcohol

Mulch crunches beneath the adolescent shoes of your classmates. One intention is shared, in this playground warfare, and it’s to get a swing.

You disregard the heap rushing towards the ones closest, for your gaze is set on the far end of the swingset. And it is just within your reach. Your eyes narrow as you outstretch a palm, prepared to feel the coolness of the rusty chain.

The chain sways away from you beneath the harsh touch of another boy.

You stare at him with wide eyes, mouth fallen agape.

He smiles, the plastic seat dipping beneath his weight. “This one’s mine.”

A small shake in your tone as you return, “I was here first.”

“So? Everyone knows this is my swing.”

You slowly nod, taking small footsteps backwards. Hwang Hyunjin is bigger than you. And more accustomed with goons of friends. There’s no point in fighting.

Though as you start for the abandoned monkey bars (their vibrant red paint chipped to a sad haze) with blurry vision faulting your path, a voice booms over the rush between your ears.

You glance in the direction. A short boy sits in a stationary swing, smiling as though it is all he’s ever known. He waves you over.

Taking all of the precautions, you glance over your shoulder to make sure he’s talking to you. When you confirm, you drag your feet along the mulch.

You flinch when he stands, bringing guarding forearms to protect your face. The blow never comes.

“You can take my swing,” he says. You peek at him through your shield. His puffy cheeks are still indented with the smile. And his hands, not balled into a fist, lay calmly at his side.

You blink, slowly lowering your defense. “W-Why?”

He laughs, “That’s what friends are for. Duh.”

The laugh that trembles over your lips is shaky and foreign. You reach for the chain.

“I’ll push you!” he declares, rushing behind you as you steady yourself in the small seat.

He pulls you from the ground, the tips of your shoes trailing back amber woodchips.

The tip of your nose kisses the blue sky. Though, inevitably, the time comes when you must fall back to the earth. Steady hands push against your back, returning you to freedom. You find yourself grinning each time.

The next day, Changbin saves you the swing beside him. He waits until you are ready before kicking off on the ground. You swing in sync, sharing a few glances under the sun’s hugging rays.

It only takes a week before he’s begging his mother to arrange a playdate. And to your luck, he follows through with the promises, meeting you at your doorstep that Saturday. He guides you a block over to his house. He must be a good kid if his mother entrusted him with such a task, bringing two first-graders over. One returning home and one in need of a home away from home.

His mother is extremely nice, smiling at you each time you catch her eyes. She sets a plate of fruit on the coffee table while you and Changbin battle over the next Spongebob episode. His sister comes out of her room, too, asking you whether you prefer Barbies or Matchbox.

Elementary school passes like this. Recess is spent with his presence, as is lunch and gym and any class freetime. On the off days that it rains, barring you inside the school, you play Mancala. It’s totally civil. Not once does Changbin storm off when he loses. He merely shrugs and offers to set up the next round.

So unusual, though each time you find yourself smiling.

After an emotional graduation party—emotional for the teachers and family, you mean—he hands you a small piece of paper.

“What’s this?” you curiously look at him. His tie has loosened since the ceremony and his hair is ruffled by his father’s hand.

“My phone number. I won’t be in town this summer, but I still wanna keep touch with you.”

You smile down at the small digits. Neatly, you fold the post-it before slipping it into your pocket. You wrap your arms around his neck, leaning into his touch as he wraps his arms around your waist. “I’m gonna miss you,” you announce, voice muffled by his shoulder.

“It’s only one summer,” he reassures. “Plus, I’ll bring you back something nice. A keychain or something.”

You laugh through the sting that stabs your body, nodding. One summer cannot mark the end of the world, you tell yourself as you watch his car drift over the hill leading into town.

ii.

On the first, dreaded, day of middle school, you scan the halls carefully. The new faces do not scare you as much as the lack of his does. Each call was sent to voicemail. And each time the dial sounded, you frantically returned the phone to the receiver. Maybe he had accidentally miswrote the number. Or maybe he was too busy to return your calls. Summer has that effect on people, you think, where you have so much fun you forget the things you used to do daily. Like a memory disorder.

You finally see him in the lunch line. A breath of fresh air invades your lungs as you rush over to him.

“Changbin! How was your summer? I called, but you never answered,” you grin, nudging his shoulder.

He does not shoot you a glance, nor does he send a glare. Instead, he keeps his eyes glued on his shoes. A sharp pain strikes your chest—that breath might have been poison.

You gently shove his shoulder again, forcing a shaky laugh as you continue, “Hello? Anyone in there?”

The boy in front of him spins on his heel. His eyes are cold, painful, as they meet yours. “Can’t you tell he doesn’t wanna talk to you?” Hyunjin scoffs. “Go somewhere else, dumbass.”

Hesitantly, you look to Changbin. Surely, he’ll defend you, right?

Right?

His eyes have traveled to the lunch menu, displayed on a TV in cheap font. Far away from this conversation.

You nod, looking back to Hyunjin. His abrasive eyes are still waiting for you, eagerly begging you to move on. “Sorry, then,” you murmur as you start for the bathroom that will become your haven.

Behind you, Hyunjin’s loud laugh taunts you. Hidden beneath it is a quieter one that stabs you in the chest. Something painful blurs your vision, twists your insides, and curls the corners of your lips as you try to fight it.

You were a fool to think he was different. Elementary promises should never be trusted.

Secondary school passes in dreary blinks. Watching Changbin run for class president. Bubbling in his name despite everything. Hearing Changbin got the lead role in Cinderella. Showing up despite the physics test you had to study for.

You wonder momentarily if Newton was behind this twisted feeling in your chest. Drawing you to him—like a moth to a flame. You even scan his sister’s Instagram from time to time, finding a picture of Changbin framed carefully beneath the stars, a twinkle in his eye.

You watch from afar as he accepts his diploma, a careful smile seated on your lips.

A bitter taste haunts your tongue as you pack for college.

“This is good for me,” you mutter to yourself. “I’ll be far, far away from him. I can move on.”

Some things are better left unsaid.

iii.

Awkward introductions replay in your memory as you get ready for your first college class. Seven fifteen, physics with Professor Kim. Denoted as one of the best in the country. Physicist and professor, respectively. It would be a lie to say he didn’t take part in your decision to attend this college. And the ocean, which is only a fifteen minute walk (that’s what the RA told you when you moved in).

You arrive with a hot americano precisely on time.

As you climb the lecture hall’s steps, your eyes drift among the sea of unfamiliar faces. One in particular sticks out—a glimmer of hope among the trenches. You raise a hand to wave, a smile quirking your lips. But, at the face directly next to him, you drift back.

Evidently, you didn’t move far enough.

You stand at the edge of the aisle, glancing down at the empty seat. “Hey, is this spot empty?”

Hope looks back at you with shock glazing his features. “Oh my God, Y/N! Of course. I didn’t know you decided to come here,” Minho smiles, tugging his notebook closer to allow you more room.

You pull out the chair, glancing at the boy on the other side of him. “I didn’t really tell anyone where I was going.”

He fills the silence with his tales of life, occasionally glancing at Changbin to see if he wants to add something. Each time, he is met with the boy’s indifferent profile. Mindlessly scrolling through his phone, though not once stopping to read one of the passing captions or like a picture.

Professor Kim claps, fizzling any remaining conversation. The syllabus fades in your mind as you wonder how Changbin’s summer went. Maybe he spent it with his sister. Or perhaps he accompanied a love interest to a string of dates.

This thought shoots a concoction of contradicting emotions through your heart. You return distracted eyes to Professor Kim just as he’s dismissing class, burying a content fist into the customly tailored pocket of his navy suit. Minho turns to you immediately, filling your ears with proposals to coffee and lunch and maybe you could come to the dorm later and catch up. Changbin’s ears perk up as he begs for Minho’s eyes.

For a split second, his eyes fall on you before they dart away.

“I need to get back to my dorm,” you announce when you can finally slip into Minho’s breaths of pause. “My roommate’s waiting.”

“Who’s your roommate? Maybe we know him.”

You fight a laugh when he finally glances back at Changbin, who has long since given up. “His name’s Yang Jeongin.”

iv.

While Minho is overly focused on you, begging you to tell him what happened after he moved in tenth grade, Changbin pretends you do not exist. When the conversations trail outside of the lecture hall, he clings to Minho’s side but does not speak. His eyes stay glued to the sidewalk. Or his textbook, whose cover he seems very invested in.

So when Professor Kim announces a project, your heart thumps a little too fast.

Minho grabs your arm, “Be my partner?”

Changbin kicks his leg. “Dude.”

He glances back at him, as though nothing he has said goes against him. “What? Just join our group.”

Changbin’s eyes find yours reluctantly. They ignite a spark in your fingertips as you reach for a pen. “Can I?”

You smile as your head twitches in a nod. “Of course.”

The plan is this: meet at the library on October 15th (a Saturday, you realize) at 1 P.M. “Expect to be there long, I wanna get this done ASAP,” Minho adds as he downs the rest of your americano.

When the day finally comes, despite your daily prayers that time would somehow freeze or somehow skip over the day, you leave your dorm right when you need to. Early October aids a brusque breeze, and you wrap your jacket around you as you approach the small crosswalk. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you dread the inevitable message.

Lee Minho [12:59 P.M.]: Sorry guys, I can’t make it. Mama Lee’s in town and wants to see her favorite son.

It’s too late to go home, you realize, when shoes scrape against the cement and a sigh penetrates the silence. “I cannot stand him,” the voice mutters behind you.

You turn to him, offering pitied condolences with a small smile. “Just the two of us, huh?”

He nods. “Guess so.”

A loud hum draws closer as his foot leans down for the asphalt. You look to the source, seeing a red car barreling down the street. You gasp, grabbing Changbin’s sleeve and tugging him back on the sidewalk. The horn echoes in the back of your head like an alarm.

His eyes are wide when they find yours. “T-Thank you,” he stutters, cocking his head a little. As though, for the first time, he is taking in your appearance.

You realize your grip is still tight on his wrist and you let go, tensing up. “You’re welcome.”

In the library, you work in silence. As though nothing happened outside. As though your entire history lies merely within the timespan of a few weeks. Minho serving as the mutual friend to your forced, awkward friendship.

He shoots you a dizzying look as he turns his packet to you. “Can you look this over?”

The tip of your eraser taps a number. “This has to be meters per second, not centimeters per second.”

A small sigh tumbles over his bottom lip as he realizes, “That’s why the final answer looked so weird. Thank you.”

The corner of your lip must have an opposite gravity to it, because it curls upward without intent.

Returning to class the next Monday leaves the soft hint of a calm lavender in the air. You share a quick, almost childish, glance with Changbin before settling back into the tune of physics. Newtons and joules and all the fun things that make up energy.

The next few weeks pass with a quiet hum, one that hangs in the background and, if you lose sight of it, you’re scared you’ll lose it forever. It’s a time of your life where you will look back with a sigh and whisper, “How did I not realize how good I had it?”

At your peak, you fall onto your bed on a Friday night. Jeongin scribbles impatient homework answers while your eyes fall shut.

The storm of your phone blaring its tune awakes you.

Lee Minho calls to remind you that he expects you to arrive at his ‘rager of a birthday party.’ He tells you the address, enthusiastically repeating himself (like an auctioneer) as you try to find a pad of paper. Jeongin’s jumping up to fix his hair before you even hang up.

You’re really not sure what you expect as you drag your roommate in tow towards the destination. Though, when you feel the tremble of music and hear shouts from the lawn of the frat house, you somehow know you’re in the right place.

The foyer is packed with jumping bodies. Leaning on the stairs, a red solo cup in hand, is the man of the hour. His cheeks are dusted in a light coating of heat and, as you approach him, you notice that glitter brushes soft highlights along his cheekbones.

“Happy early birthday!” you shout over the music.

He dizzily turns to you and drags you towards his chest in a swift motion. “Y/N! Thank you for coming!”

You had no choice. It was either come to the party or admit yourself to Lee Minho’s terrifying grudge list.

Despite this, you return with a grin, “Of course!”

When he lets you go into the stale air, he shoves his cup into your hand. “Try some,” he nods.

You tip the plastic to your lips. As the liquid scrapes the back of your throat, you flinch back. “What is this?” Your face twists.

“Just vodka and Coke.”

You hastily return the cup to him and glance around. Jeongin has disappeared to a desolate corner, you presume. A spark of jealousy runs through your veins.

“Where’s the bathroom?” you find yourself asking Minho.

He points down a vacant hallway and tells you it’s the last door on your left. You thank him before scurrying in that direction.

Your knock echoes, though nothing returns. The pale wood feels cold against your cheek as you listen for any life inside. You find it safe to enter. Instantly, you press your palms against the cold marble. Identical eyes stare into each other in the mirror until your eyes slip to the pale, spotless basin. You stare into the milky dome absently, pondering why you feel so odd being here. And for a moment you forget where you are, lost in the dizzying world of your thoughts.

Until you hear the choked sob from behind the shower curtain.

It takes you by surprise. Hesitantly, you reach out for the navy shield.

“Ch-Changbin?” you stutter, staring down at the boy in a mess of shock.

His legs are drawn to his chest as trails of tears line his cheeks. He lets out a squeak as he looks up to you. Arms fall to his sides as he leans forward. Though, he appears to have no intention of stopping, surrendering himself to gravity.

Your hands find his shoulders merely moments before his nose slams into the porcelain. “Are you drunk?” you whisper.

Though, in return, he sobs. “I’m sorry.”

Something pierces your chest. Your lips part to say something, but the words are clogged in your throat.

“I was such an idiot,” he slurs, swaying gently.

“What’re you talking about?” you finally ask.

His balled fist slams against the tub. “You!” he shouts, face twisting as he releases another cry.

You flinch back.

“My mom always asks how you’re doing, no matter how many times I tell her. My sister still has a grudge. Hell, even Hwang Hyunjin thinks I’m an idiot and he’s the one who tricked me into leaving you!”

He leans his cheek against the wall, once again releasing a cry. Though, this one, he fights to hold back. It scalds the air in a whimper.

Quieter, he admits, “You were the only person I’ve ever felt safe with.”

You sigh, looking down at your shoes. Those days when you wondered what had gone wrong, staring up at your blank ceiling and trying to relive his smile as quiet tears fell to your pillow, wash down the drain.

He watches intently as you climb into the tub. You do not look at him as you slowly lean against the wall he rests his cheek on. Instead, you stare at the mahogany finish of the small cabinets. Regardless, you can feel his eyes burning holes into your cheek. In this cold porcelain cage, all you can hear is the distant thumping of music and the occasional sniffle from the boy beside you. You smile at the familiarity of it, returning you to your former years cozied up on a playground. No worries back then, you jealously note with a muted snicker.

“I missed you,” you finally say. Tears blur your vision, warping the defined lines of wood into a mess of color.

When you bring yourself to look at him, his eyes are closed. You lean a little closer to see if he’s sleeping. Reluctant lips part as he whispers, his breath hot and reeking of tequila, “I missed you too.”

vi.

One of the things you come to realize is that Changbin’s smile has never changed. There’s still that little indent where his cheeks fold over and each time he offers a glimpse at it you are returned to the days of the swing.

Thanks to the drunken night (half drunken night, you should say, since he had enough for both of you), Changbin has allowed a sneak peek back to his life. Strictly over text, though. You’re not sure why he’s never asked to meet up—maybe it’s too much too fast, you think—but you cannot find it in you to complain. He’s back after all these years and that seems to be enough.

So you endure it, texting him until the early hours of the morning and fascinating yourself over all of these things you have missed.

Seo Changbin [2:39 A.M.]: My sister and I went to the elementary school a couple of weeks ago.

Looking at your phone burns your eyes, as does the weird feeling in your chest.

Y/N [2:40 A.M.]: Really? Has it changed much?

Seo Changbin [2:40 A.M.]: The kids after us got all the cool playground equipment :(

Seo Changbin [2:40 A.M.]: I should take you there one day haha. I think that’d be fun.

You fight the giggle that wishes to flee, glancing up at a sleeping Jeongin for reassurance.

Waking up in the morning is aided with fleeting regrets, though beneath it you realize there is a small skip in your step. One that flares a heat in your face when you walk into the physics classroom and reach to meet Changbin’s eyes. And there, waiting, is his gaze and a small smile.

Maybe you have it bad for Seo Changbin, you think, as Professor Kim begins talking about Newton’s Third Law.

vii.

Yang Jeongin is broadcasting his homework onto the cheap projector he bought on Amazon for $50. “Isn’t it so cool?” he marvels as his red pen underlines a key part of his notes.

You absently nod, glaring at your textbook. Between the lines is a screaming thought that cascades a waterfall of forget towards your upcoming exam. You fail to notice your phone buzzing against your bed. Daydreams are dangerous like that.

“Y/N,” Jeongin’s voice finally snaps you out of it. You look to him, standing at the door and lazily holding the knob. “You’ve got a visitor.”

Your heart leaps in your chest as you rush to take his spot. Before you can tug the door open, he presses a hand on your shoulder. “Be careful around him, please.”

You watch as he struts and flops down on his bed, opening a comic book above his head.

As you open the door, a little more hesitant than before the interaction with Jeongin, you smile.

Changbin is watching the end of your hall and playing with the sleeves of his hoodie. When he senses your presence, he finally breaks his trance and offers a smile. He keeps his voice low, “Can I talk to you?”

You nod, ignoring the annoying thump thump of your heart, “Sure. What’s up?”

“In private,” he adds, peeking over your head at Jeongin. Maintaining his hold on the comic book, though his eyes have drifted to you with a parental glare.

You shut the door behind you. His footsteps draw towards the common area, and you follow. There’s a silence draped over you until he abruptly stops in the middle of the hallway and turns to you. “I need you to pretend to date me.”

You blink. “W-What?”

He draws his bottom lip between his teeth momentarily before continuing, “I made a stupid bet and I kind of really need the money.”

A shroud of toughness hides your instant willingness to help. “What do I get out of this?”

His eyes radiate the innocence of a child. They draw you to a distant memory, one that you might have seen in a movie and forced into a memory, but you’re not sure. You were at his house after he broke his arm and he cried, those same eyes staring at you as he whined about how much it hurt. And how itchy his arm was beneath the cast.

Your heart softens, and you have to fight the crumbling beneath your feet.

“Whatever you want,” he assertively nods. “Seriously.”

You sigh. “Do you have a plan?”

“I always have a plan,” he smiles, pulling you into a grateful hug. His hoodie smells vaguely of ramen with a hint of sealike cologne you might find in Lee Minho’s bathroom. You find yourself smiling as your hands rest on his back.

viii.

His hand, admittedly, feels a little odd in your hand. The last time you had held his hand was in second grade, when you went to the zoo on a field trip. Your class was already flooding into the bird exhibit with anticipation and exuberance. But you were crying your eyes out at the mere thought of seeing a parrot. (This unfounded fear is all thanks to Spongebob)

Changbin’s hand slipped into yours and slowly urged you in, mumbling that if you didn’t go you’d get stuck there forever. And then, he had whispered, the parrots might eat us alive. Even then, his hand was oddly clammy and a little sticky.

But now, as he guides you through the small neighborhood, you feel a calm mix of elation and awkwardness. Sure, this is groundbreaking material for you and your “small” crush on him. However, he’s not doing this because he likes you. He’s doing this because he needs some cash and you were a means of aiding him.

“Where are we going?” you ask, a cloud of your breath expanding from your lips. It’s only the beginning of November.

“You’ll see,” he glances over at you, a small smile painted on his pale cheeks.

There’s a small line of shrubs on your side of the sidewalk. Serving as a break in them is a metal archway, accompanied by a small wooden sign reading: Gyeonghwa Park. He turns into it, guiding you into the small fenced area. A two person swing set stands in the corner, absent seats trembling in the breeze. There’s a few wooden benches, though most are tainted in a layer of leaves.

“Ta-da,” he says, gesturing with his free arm at the small park.

You look around to the little duck statue in the corner. “I don’t mean to be rude, but why are we here again?” you turn to him. His hand burns against your skin like a constant reminder.

“I can’t take you to our playground, so I thought we could settle for here as our first fake date,” he smiles. “Plus, we need couple pictures and I think this works well.”

You’re grateful for the breeze that dashes pink across your cheeks, disguising the heat that has rushed to them at his words. “R-Right,” you stutter.

He takes a seat on a leafless bench and slips his phone from his pocket. As you reluctantly sit beside him, you watch as he sends texts to his friends. Nothing regarding you, you presume, but when he feels your eyes he quickly closes the chat.

The pictures are poised carefully, his arm resting on the top of the bench behind you, your head tilted towards his as you smile. Without warning, he presses his lips to your cheek as the shutter clicks. You try not to make your flinch obvious.

He pulls back, smiling slightly as he inquires, “Should we kiss to seal the deal?”

Fire poisons your veins as you stare back at him. The invisible mark his lips had left sizzles in the air. “Do you think we should?” you whisper.

He shrugs. “It’ll make it a bit more believable. We don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, though.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. Kiss me.”

The corners of his lips upturn a little further, sending a shiver down your spine—though maybe it was just the wind. He readjusts his phone, glancing to assure you’re both in frame, before leaning in. At first, his lips merely wander in the air before yours, as though he is thinking about the best way to do this. But then, confident lips press against yours. His touch melts away the numbness in your fingers, the shiver of the cold. In this moment of freedom, you wonder if he had ever wondered what your lips tasted like. Because you sure have.

ix.

Each of your fake dates is constructed with careful attention to detail. A trip to the movies (seeing a film you had mentioned wanting to see very briefly over text). A study ‘date’ that didn’t really feel romantic, though he brought you an americano and a fancy pen he stole from his dad’s work.

But your date today is very special. The diner is filled to the brim with hungry college students and elderly couples. In the back, bunched up against the upholstery, are Changbin’s friends. They throw their heads back to laugh as one tells a stupid joke. Changbin leads you down the aisle slowly. He squeezes your hand, whispering over his shoulder, “Thank you, again, for doing this. It means a lot.”

You smile against your will,“That’s what friends are for.”

As you approach, the new and familiar faces turn to you. Some hold smiles, others hold gaping lips.

“I didn’t think you actually found someone willing to date you,” a boy marvels.

“Let alone Y/N! How come I didn’t know you were dating?” Minho shouts, garnering certain harsh looks from neighboring booths.

A glimmering smile finds your lips as you slide into the booth beside him, “You never asked.”

He scoffs. “Am I supposed to ask when anything life-changing happens?”

Changbin files in beside you, sighing, “Not necessarily, but you talk a lot.”

“How long have you been dating?” a boy across from you asks. His cheeks are dusted with light freckles, and a friendly smile paints across his lips.

“Nearly two months,” you glance at Changbin, who nods. The finer details, he stressed, must be known like the back of your hand. A single hair out of place could be the end.

“Are you serious?” Minho booms. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted. Even his eyebrows raise in awe, scratching dull wrinkles across his forehead.

“You do talk a lot,” you mumble.

Before Minho can have the chance to shout profanities aiding his awe, another boy sighs. “Shut up and congratulate them, okay? This is karma for laughing at him when he wanted in on the bet.”

“Thank you, Chan,” Changbin smiles, wrapping an adept arm around your shoulder. Instinctively, you lean into his touch, resting your head on his shoulder.

As the night unfolds, queued by digging questions and the occasional groan from Minho, you nearly forget that this is an act. That when Changbin presses a kiss to your forehead it’s not real.

Outside of the diner, as his friends disperse into their means of transportation, he cups your cheeks and presses a soft kiss to your lips. When he parts, there’s a small smile and a gloss hanging over his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispers.

He promises to pick you up at five. All that remains is the reward, you realize. A simple favor has brought you here, waiting impatiently for his knock on your door. Your heart beats harshly against your chest.

“Why are you even messing with him?” Jeongin mutters, stirring his ramen with the tips of his chopsticks.

You glance up at him, sighing, “I’m not messing with him. I’m doing him a favor.”

“Yeah, but, why? He’s an asshole, Y/N,” he shakes his head. As he shoves the steaming noodles into his mouth, he hisses at the heat and tilts his head to the side.

You watch him as he gulps down water.

At your prolonged silence, he adds, “When is he supposed to pick you up?”

You tap your phone screen, illuminating the time. “Five minutes ago.”

Jeongin drowns his harsh words with more noodles. Though, in between bites, he says, “Maybe he’s standing you up.”

The thought has crossed your mind, though a hollow in your chest wants to believe he wouldn’t do that. Friends, if that’s what you are, don’t do that.

Seconds drift into minutes. And minutes turn into an hour. Jeongin’s gone through three more ramen cups. Your lips ache as you nervously bite them, jumping for your phone at each notification.

At half past six, Jeongin rests into your bed beside you. “I’m sorry,” he whispers as he wraps a cautious arm around your shoulder.

Though, you do not feel anything aside from the irritation blurring your eyes. “Are you okay?” he asks. These simple words open the floodgate.

xi.

His eyes avert yours as though they had never known you in the first place. Minho doesn’t say anything when you lower yourself in the seat beside him. Instead, he cautiously slips you a small note. Large, scratchy words read: are you okay?

You crumble the note in your palm before tucking it into your bag. He does not bother you for the rest of class. Class travels by in grueling moments. Professor Kim’s voice seems slowed, stripped of any tone. When he finally dismisses class, warning that the semester is ending soon, you haphazardly shove your things into your bag and leave.

Over your shoulder, you hear a low smack and Minho mutter, “What the hell is the matter with you?”

It hurts to admit, given that you had known from the beginning, but Seo Changbin used you. Though, despite the anger you should be feeling, you can only find yourself wondering what he needed the money so badly for.

Back at the dorm, Jeongin silently pulls a piece of cake from the small fridge and hands it to you. “Here,” he mumbles. “My friend made it for you.”

You look up at him. “Why?” Your voice is raw from desuetude, crackles like an old radio.

Jeongin bites his lip, eyes slipping to your comforter. “I told him you were having a rough time. Plus, he knows Changbin, so he knows the story.”

You take the paper plate in your fingertips, dragging it toward you. You poke the delicacy with the tip of your fork. “What’s the story?”

A sigh slips past his lips. “That you guys dated and you broke up. That’s all Changbin told them.”

You nod. He must’ve gotten the money and thrown you away.

Your phone buzzes against the mattress. Jeongin leans over to check who it is. When his eyes meet yours again, he informs, “It’s just Minho.”

So you allow yourself to look at your phone.

Lee Minho [9:20 A.M.]: I’m outside your dorm. Let me in please.

You look up to the door, though your energy is below zero. Jeongin grabs your phone, reading the message, before going to answer the door.

“Hey, Jeongin,” Minho pushes past him. He sits at the foot of your bed. “What happened?”

You blink, eyes staring into his absently. “What?”

“With Changbin. Tell me what happened, please. He won’t tell us anything and I’m starting to get worried for both of you. He’s never this quiet and you’re never this sulky,” he reluctantly rests his hand on your knee.

You look at Jeongin, who stands there with arms against his chest. He shrugs, silently telling you it’s up to you.

You sigh. “Where do I start?”

“The beginning, preferably.”

“I think I fell in love with him, but I can’t tell you when. Maybe it was when we were kids. Maybe it was at the party when he apologized,” you slowly say. The words do not feel like yours. A small pit rumbles in your stomach, begging you to continue. “He wanted a favor, to pretend to date him for that bet you guys made. I didn’t ask why he needed the money or why I should do this for him, given all he did to me. I just went with it. And things were great, as far as fake relationships go.”

In your break of silence, you find yourself smiling at all the fake dates. You wonder if the pictures still live in his phone or if he discarded them the moment he got rid of you.

“So you guys faked the whole thing?” Minho’s eyebrows furrow.

You nod. “He was supposed to pick me up on Saturday, but he stood me up. And now we’re here.”

Minho blinks. “Either Changbin’s a good actor or he’s a fucking asshole.”

“It’s the latter,” Jeongin announces as he crosses to his bed.

Minho shakes his head. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Don’t tell him what I said,” you rush. “About loving him or anything.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

After he leaves, Jeongin loudly sighs. “I knew you were in love with him.”

You look at him, slowly nodding, “I didn’t really make an effort to hide it.”

xii.

There are tears irritating your skin as you pull yourself out of bed. Surviving off of Felix’s cake and Jeongin’s ramen cups is less than attractive, but you cannot build enough will to leave your dorm. You ask Minho to take notes in physics for you and he quickly obliges, no questions asked.

Changbin, still, plagues your mind like venom. Each time you think maybe a nap is in order, you shut your eyes and see his smile. Or you’ll think of his lips on yours as he smiles into the kiss. Your eyes shoot open, chest rising heavily. Even when you stare at your ceiling too long, your brain deems it a screen for a memory to play. Casted like Jeongin’s cheap projector.

There was this once, in fourth grade when you grew bored of the swings so you relocated to the plastic blue tunnel. He blocked off one end while you took the other. On hotter days, you’d lay on top of the tunnel. One day, he looked at you across the plastic and asked, “Do you ever think we’ll be grown ups far away from each other?”

You shook your head so confidently. “No. We’re gonna live together. Like roommates.”

Jeongin comes home from his classes with a cup of coffee. He sets it on your nightstand as he whispers, “I’m spending the night at Chan’s tonight. Call me if you need anything.”

You take a sip of the americano. “Thanks, have fun.”

In his wake is a dreaded silence that reminds you of Changbin’s laugh. Time has only plagued it with a dash of depth.

Your phone buzzes. Hesitantly, you roll over and grab it. The metal is cold against your fingers.

Lee Minho [4:29 P.M.]: Hey, I need you to come to the beach. There’s something I want to show you.

The thing that tipped you over the edge when looking for a college was the beach. As you carefully scouted, the grains of sand kept drawing you back. It’s ironic as you realize that you haven’t been once, despite its proximity. You can already feel the bitter cold against your cheeks as you rise from your bed. Dots of dizziness scatter across your eyes.

The mid November air is cooler than you expected as you step out of the complex. You shove balled fists deeper into your hoodie pocket.

The walk to the beach is shorter than you had expected, only passing ten minutes. You see Minho waiting on the wooden slats leading to the sand. He jumps to preserve his heat.

“Hey,” you call out to him.

He looks to you, daring to unveil a pale hand as he waves. When you’re closer he says, “It’s fucking cold out here.”

You nod, looking out onto the vacant sand. Huddled like a speck of trash is a small figure.

“Why’d you want to meet out here?” you return to look at him, a piercing cold slashing your heart at the realization.

His face softens as he glances out towards the black speck in the sand. “Well, he wanted to meet you here but he wasn’t sure if you’d come if he texted. So he dragged me out here.”

You find yourself laughing. “And you agreed?”

“I didn’t know it was negative twenty out here,” he mutters. “So go and talk to him so I can get back in my car.”

You smile. Your heart thunders against your chest and, even though you know you shouldn’t, your feet move towards the small figure. He tugs you in, time and time again.

You glance over your shoulder when you reach him. Minho’s already gone, as though his presence was merely a ghost. You squat next to Changbin, wrapping your arms around your knees.

He looks at you, though you keep focused on the pale water. Brushing up on the sand, pulling back into the ocean.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

You nod. “You always say that.”

“I really am,” he admits. “I know you probably think I’m an asshole, reasonably so, but I really am sorry for everything.”

You finally look at him. “What’d you need the money for?”

He’s taken aback. He had expected more of a heartbreaking confession, a perspective he had not once explored. “Music equipment,” he says. “It’s really for me, Chan, and Jisung.”

You nod, looking back at the water. “I was just a ragdoll so you could get that.”

“Not really,” he whispers. “It was kinda a double positive for me.”

Furrowed eyebrows turn back to him.

“I got the money,” he starts, “and I also got the luxury of pretending to be yours.”

You blink. Your voice is small, barely audible over a gust of wind, “What?”

“Every time I did something stupid that got in between us, I always knew I’d find my way back to you. I was the tide and you were the moon, reaching out and tugging me back into reality. Time and time again, as we’ve come to understand,” he nods, glancing at his red fingers, bitten by the air.

You stare at him. “So why do you keep pushing me away?”

He shrugs. “There was always the fear that you didn’t want to bring me back.”

You scoff, remembering your childhood and the way he kept drawing you closer. You shake your head, words failing you.

“So truly, I am so sorry. You still have your end of the deal, you know. You get whatever you want. You can tell me to fuck off and I’ll go home. Sure, I’d be a little heartbroken, but-”

You cut him off, “Why would I ever do that?”

“Because I treat you like shit to fuel this stupid ideology that you don’t hate me,” he admits. “Even when I don’t try to be, I’m a selfish asshole. I only kissed you because I wanted to, not because of the stupid pictures for the bet. I only asked you for the favor because I wanted to paint this stupid little picture in my head. I only stood you up because I couldn’t bring myself to face you and admit that my stupid fantasy was over.”

“That’s not selfish,” you say. “That’s just very Seo Changbin of you.”

“I really cannot tell if you hate my guts or not,” he sighs, picking up a handful of sand and watching as it trickles down again.

You shake your head. “Minho didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

You look back at the empty space where the ghost once stood. A sigh of a distant nostalgia slips from your lips—the times you’ve pictured this moment over and over in your daydreams. However, you did not imagine the bitter bite of the wind nipping at your cheeks. “That I’m in love with you.”

“You what?” he gawks, leaning a bit closer. As though his ears deceive him.

Your eyes return to his as you nod. “I love you. I probably have since we were kids. That’s the only reason I agreed to your favor. Because I, too, wanted to be a little selfish.”

His lips slowly curl up into a smile as he releases an abrasive laugh. “How much did Minho pay you to say that?”

“He didn’t. I’m being completely honest. Why else would I be here if I wasn’t stupidly in love with you, huh?”

“Really?”

“Yes, now can we speed this up? It’s fucking cold out here.”

He presses his lips against yours. You expect them to mold against yours like they had in previous weeks, but now they are fiery. It sends tingles down your spine as he cups your cheek. With those internal feelings finally suspended from your body, you can sigh a breath of relief.

You wonder if younger you would be proud.

xiii.

“Are you guys actually dating now or are you just fucking with us again?” one of Changbin’s friends, Jisung, asks as you slide into the same booth as a few weeks ago.

“They are,” Minho intervenes. “I watched them confess and everything. Like a minister.”

“Bullshit,” you mutter. “You went back to your car as soon as I got there.”

Changbin’s laugh tickles against your ear as he scoots in next to you.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t revoke the award,” the freckled boy, who you’ve now concluded is Felix, observes.

“Why?” Jisung asks, bringing the straw of his soda to his lips.

“Because we would have had to give it right back.”

His friends are very welcoming of you, despite the deception that marked your first greeting. Chan catches you in the parking lot as Changbin and Jisung fight over the extra mint the server placed on the table.

“I just want you to know,” he starts with a smile, “that he really loves you. It’s not a front, I promise.”

Your eyes crinkle at the corners as you ask, “Those are suspicious words. How should I trust you?”

“Because he talks about you all the time. I know more about your childhood than I know about mine. Plus, he’s written three songs about you and we don’t even have the equipment to record anything yet.”

You laugh, “You’re in luck, then.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

You smile, shaking your head. “You’ll find out.”

Changbin returns to your side, a sullen scowl pressed against his lips as he watches Jisung pop the mint into his mouth. Chan dismisses himself to attend to Felix attempting to teach Minho a taekwondo move.

You look over at Changbin, “You’ve written songs about me?”

His eyes widen, “No? Why would I ever do that?”

A giggle bubbles up from your stomach as you shake your head, starting off to his car. Behind you, he repeats the same question urgently.

xiv.

Seo Changbin is like a pest that flies around your head, begging your attention at all moments of the day. He invited you over to his dorm so you could study together, though when you arrived with your textbook and notes, he appeared offended.

“What?” you asked as you settled on his bed, fluffing pillows before leaning against them.

“Studying doesn’t mean studying, it means cuddling,” he pouted.

It’s lucky for him that Minho isn’t home because if he ever heard those words falling from his lips, he’d never hear the end of it.

So that’s why you’re laying your head on his pillow, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as you read over your notes.

“What’s the formula for Newton’s law of universal gravitation?” you quiz him when you feel his arms start to loosen with the temptation of sleep.

He hums, “I don’t know. You’re the one with the strong magnetic force. Shouldn’t they call it Y/N’s law of universal gravitation?”

You sigh, setting the spiral notebook on his nightstand before you turn in his arms to face him. The hint of a smile already greets you. You press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. “What’s your grade in physics?”

He looks up at the ceiling as he pretends to think. “38.”

“What?” you hiss, pulling back away from him as though he has an illness you didn’t know about.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” he whines, pulling you back. “I only signed up for the class because it reminded me of you.”

You smile. “Why?”

He shyly pouts, “I may have gone out of my way to hear about you when we were in high school.”

“And you never thought to apologize?” you counter, your smile still reigning.

“You looked like you were doing fine without me,” he shyly admits.

“Changbin,” you shake your head. “I had no friends after Minho moved. I chased after you, thinking maybe something would happen.”

He closes his eyes. “Tell me you didn’t see me in Cinderella.”

“I saw you in Cinderella,” you laugh.

He throws his head back and whines. “The pants they put me in were two sizes too big.”

The memory of him standing on stage and having to hold up his pants, disguising it by having his hands on his hips, brings another laugh to the air. “Did they really not have any clothespins or anything?”

“No!” he exclaims, looking back into your eyes. “Fucking Hyunjin was hoarding them all!”

You feel the vibrations of your laugh against the pillow. It’s good being like this, having him tethered close.

He’s in the middle of saying something, probably further pursuing his complaints about high school or Hyunjin, but you do not care. You press your lips against his. A moment of stillness, thanks to his shock, before he kisses you back.

The only word to describe this feeling brewing in your stomach: bliss. Pure, hot bliss.

You hope gravity will keep you grounded here.

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