#chances are if it is a podcast and it is fiction i am SO down

[gl-asseater]

My current favourite podcasts rn:

Welcome to Night Vale

Wolf 395

The Bright Sessions

Archive 81

Gabriella and the Inn Between

The Amelia Project

Haunted House Flippers

How I Died

Patient 33

My Town (by Declan Grogan)

Forgive Me!

etc.

I could literally go on forever, the list never ends.

[theycallmebecca]

Drabble: Smooth Hips Turner Gets Caught

Here is the promised follow up to my drabble Smooth Hips Turner. I did a poll a couple weeks ago to determine what the plot should be and almost half of the votes were for her brother to find out about them dating.

I'm not a drama writer... I'm a romantic comedy writer... so I had some fun.

I'm also checking off a couple squares on my @the-slumberparty bingo card: Sports AU and Night Club.

Title: Smooth Hips Turner Gets Caught

Pairing: hockey player!Cole Turner x female reader

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: language

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context. 

IS SMOOTH HIPS TURNER IS OFF THE MARKET?? The superstar goalie was seen canoodling at a local club with an unknown female while out with friends over the weekend. Our body language expert looked at the photos and said the relationship looks serious and predicts that there will be wedding bells in the off season for the pro.

"Fuck," Cole cursed as he looked at the social media post.

"All my social media accounts were already private," you reminded him. "And I changed all my profile pictures to the beach as soon as I saw that post."

"Someone will recognize you though and sell your name and any dirt they have on you to the tabloids," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Fuck. Your brother."

"Excuse me?" you asked with a laugh.

"Not literally fuck your brother," Cole replied with a grin. "But fuck, I wanted to tell your brother myself. But if he sees those photos, he's going to know."

Before you could respond, Cole's phone dinged and he glanced down at it, his eyes going wide as he looked at the message. Swallowing, he turned it towards you so you could see the message that had come in from your brother.

YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER????

CALL ME THE FUCK RIGHT NOW!

"I'll call him," you offered. "And I'll tell him to mind his own fucking business."

"No," Cole said, shaking his head. "I have to do this. I should have done it before now."

"You aren't having this conversation without me," you told him. "I get that he is your best friend, but he's my brother. And I get that he's my brother, but you're my boyfriend. You are not excluding me from this!"

"Alright, alright," Cole said, holding up his hands. "I'll call him now."

He sat down next to you on the couch and chose to video call your brother.

You weren't sure what to expect when your brother answered, but based on his text to Cole you weren't expecting the shit eating grin you got.

"Turner. Sis." He greeted you both. Then, to Cole, said, "So you finally grew a pair and asked her out, huh?"

It took a second for you and Cole to figure out what he meant by that but you started laughing while Cole just stared back at him in shock.

"Oh don't pretend to be shocked I knew," your brother told him. "You were fucking obvious, man. It was a relief when she went away to school because you weren't distracted all the time if she was home."

"You knew the whole time?" Cole asked, dumbfounded. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Uh, because it was my sister," your brother replied. "I wasn't going to encourage that when you didn't stand a chance with her. And after, well you lived in two different places and lived very different lives."

"So you aren't mad?" you asked him.

"That you guys are dating? Absolutely not," he replied. "I am annoyed that I found out from the fucking internet though!"

"It's not how we wanted you to find out," Cole said. "I was going to talk to you next week when my team was in town."

"You were?" you said, looking at Cole.

"I was," he replied, looking back at you.

Smiling, you leaned in and kissed him.

"OH YUCK! GROSS!" your brother complained. "Just because I'm ok with it doesn't mean I want to see it!"

"Say bye to your brother," Cole told you, pulling his lips away from yours.

"Bye, butt head," you called.

Your brother was still protesting when Cole ended the call and dropped the phone onto the floor.

[palant1r]

Hi! Just letting you know that Rusty Quill has already published a statement on their website (at "latest news"). I'd love to hear your opinion on that, if you have time and would be willing to write about it! The statement also briefly talks about the "false pretense" of the author's approach to RQ in November, namely "to assist in 'a comprehensive guide to fiction podcast networks'".

Oh yeah, I saw that statement! I'm happy to give some of my thoughts.

This is the kind of statement I'd HATE to see a company give in response to an article of mine — that is, it's well-written, even-handed, and doesn't have obvious disputable flaws. That doesn't mean I think everything in it is true, just that if it isn't, it would probably take a more trusted and experienced investigator that Newt to refute it. (Makes sense that RQ would be good at writing statements, amirite?)

Of course, this statement was written for RQ by RQ to paint them in a good light. Because they haven't provided concrete evidence of their own and Newt didn't attach the contracts in their article, at this point it's their word versus Newt's for a lot of this. But when it's two people's words against each other, inevitably the one that acts more professional is going to come out looking more credible, and that's RQ in this case. So now we see the tangible damage that not following journalism best practices does to a story.

I'm inclined to believe Rusty Quill on several of the points, particularly the ones pertaining to GDPR guidelines.

As for RQ talking about how Newt reached out, that part's interesting. They say that Newt reached out under the guise of writing a guide to fiction podcast networks, and did not provide a copy of an article or any allegations, so Rusty Quill didn't respond. That's weird. If RQ thought it was a guide about fiction podcast networks, why would they even know there were allegations they weren't given a chance to respond to? If it was an article still being written, why would they expect to be provided a copy? I think there are a few possibilities here. Maybe RQ just didn't want to be in the story they were told it was, and didn't realize Newt had misrepresented themself until later, so lack of journalistic practice wasn't the real reason they didn't respond. Or maybe RQ actually knew what story Newt was doing from the beginning. Or maybe RQ is misrepresenting the situation. We have no way of knowing without seeing the actual text of the email Newt sent them, which I've advised them to publish. But let's say that everything RQ says is true. What would that mean?

Well, first off, it is NOT "common journalistic practice" to provide sources with a copy of an article before it goes to print. I have no idea why RQ and others think that. It's the complete opposite — journalists are NEVER supposed to provide sources, or even anyone outside of the newsroom, a copy of their article before it goes to print. If a source demands it, the biggest concession we'll make is sitting down with them before the article runs and going over everything we used from our source to make sure they're okay with us including it.

However, "right to reply" IS common journalistic practice, and it's especially important in investigative pieces. Basically, if a journalist is doing a piece like this that makes accusations against a person or group, they have the responsibility to inform that person or group of the accusations they'll be printing and give them an opportunity to respond.

Additionally, it's bad practice to misrepresent oneself while reaching out like this. If Rusty Quill is accurately conveying what happened, then Newt is in the wrong and hurt their own story.

But I am like 90% sure that, if Newt did misrepresent themself, it was out of inexperience, not malice. Because I've done it before.

My first investigative piece was on a corrupt individual. I won't go into details. When the time came to reach out to him for comment, I wasn't sure how to word that email. A more experienced professional journalist advised me to be intentionally vague and misleading. I had misgivings, but I agreed — the thing about stories like this is that you end up with a healthy caution about whoever you're reporting on. I had a fear that tipping my hand too soon would keep him from talking, and I don't doubt Newt had the same fear. But the opposite happened — he asked for clarity on what I was doing, I told him the truth, and he said he wouldn't talk to me because I'd misrepresented myself. I don't think he would have talked anyway, but it was galling to know he was right. I believe we disclosed part of what happened in the text of the article itself.

What I learned from that experience is that some instincts run deep, and it's hard to get yourself to come out of the gate swinging at a very delicate story you've poured your heart into for a while. Those instincts can be overridden by experience and a firm grounding in journalistic ethics. My instinct was to not misrepresent myself, and that instinct turned out to have been the right one, so I've learned to stand firmly in what I know to be ethical. So even though Newt made a big blunder here by misrepresenting themself if what RQ says is accurate, I don't think it was malicious. Just a giant mistake. But I don't think it's fair for the article to say that Rusty Quill didn't respond to requests for comment so many times and even use that as evidence of their slow communication if Rusty Quill wasn't given the allegations to respond to.

As an investigative journalist, I see in this statement a treasure trove of facts to check and rabbit holes to follow. There's a lot here to address and a lot of work to do, especially looking into what exactly "standard practice" means in the areas Rusty Quill cites. But I'm not sure I trust Newt to do that work well.

[pebblysand]

Hi pebbly, I hope work, life, and all the things are going well. Big fan of castles.

Question: What is your opinion on male readership of HP fanfiction/guys reading your works?

Sincerely, a male reader aware of his odd demographic status within the fandom.

aw, thanks anon! hope all is well for you too!

to be honest, i don't really have an opinion! i mean, i'm so glad you (and maybe others) are reading this fic - thanks so much for your support! that being said, i don't think i have any particular hot takes on this! i'm just happy you're there!

i am - of course - aware that my audience (and the fanfiction community in general) is majority female. that's been established by many studies on the topic. but, assuming that the audience for my fanfiction podcast is somewhat representative (even if it doesn't entirely line up with my readership), it appears that around 10% of our audience is male. around 20% is non-female. so this isn't negligible.

[sorry this is in french, idk why/how to change it. it says: women, men, other, non binary]

i've spoken about this before but i think the fact that men aren't super present in fanfiction communities is down to two big factors:

men (sadly) aren't encouraged to read. i feel like this is particularly true for straight men (although, to an extent, gay men as well): for some reason, in the past 40 years, someone somewhere decided that reading/writing books wasn't "manly". that somehow, sitting at home watching sports on the sofa was worthy, but not sitting at home reading a book on that same sofa - which, when you think about it, is basically the exact same activity. it's especially bizarre because when you look at literary history, a lot of our "great writers" are men - to the point that many women writers, at the time, were completely ignored/disregarded. so, like many things, it seems that writing/reading was a worthy pursuit for men, until women started reading/writing as well and being successful, which somehow lessened the appeal of the activity. i think it's a real shame and i feel like it's a chance that's missed by a lot of men who might actually enjoy the activity, if only they were given more of an incentive. anecdotally, i was once talking to a (female) friend of mine, saying that to me, if a man i could potentially date does not own at least one book, that's a bit of a red flag. she said to me my standards were too high (😆) and i think that's a bit sad. but, it does explain (partially) why men aren't in fanfiction spaces. they're (mostly) not in original fiction spaces either.

men are also socialised (at least in western culture) to value the pursuit of activities that will yield the most monetary returns. there is still, to this day, a lot of pressure put on men to be the main breadwinners and fanfiction, famously, is anything but that. writing fanfiction is a lot of work, for - guaranteed - no money. i think women are used to working for free: in the home, but also because of the gender pay gap. so, they're more likely to accept this situation than men who are like: 'what do you mean i need to spend a hundred hours writing a fic for no money?' when i was unemployed during the pandemic, i freelanced as an editor and you would not believe the number of men who sent me novels where they were like: this started as fanfiction for [x] (usually video games) but then i filed off the serial numbers because it didn't feel worth it to work on something i couldn't publish. then, fanfiction gets ridiculed as this thing that's only for teenage girls/women with no ambition, and men are even less likely to participate.

so, i think, naturally, this reflects in the readership (and writership) of HP fanfiction. it's unfortunate, but it's kind of an undeniable fact. and, this is worsened because when it comes to entertainment, men and women are also socialised to like different things. and thus, because fewer men write fanfiction, men who would only be readers don't necessarily find content that "speaks" to them, and thus don't read it. especially because studies show that men, because they are often cast and shown as the main protagonists in media, find it harder to project themselves in women/works written by women. they feel like they can't relate. so, it ends up being this chicken and egg situation of: women make up for most fanfiction writers, thus men feel left out and don't read, leading to fewer men writing it, etc.

and, to be honest, i feel like castles (and my works in general) is a perfect example of that:

i don't think i write for women. i think i write for humans. but also, i'm not dumb. my fics centre around themes and characters which mostly speak to women. i'm a hardcore, bra-burning feminist. my harry is definitely a man-written-by-a-woman (although, jkr is a woman too so i don't think i'm changing much, there). i write a lot of strong female characters. i write at length about violence against women. a lot of men don't want to read about that, because they don't think it's "for" them.

we all know and have seen in the past that the issue of feminism and women's rights is mostly owned by women. sure, some men are allies, i'm not denying that, but most of the campaigning and the shouting and the screaming is still the burden of women. we're still at the point where in order to get men to care about women's rights, we need to tell them: 'what if it was your sister?' 'what if it was your mother?' as though women don't have value unless they are part of their family. so, i'm not deluding myself into thinking that i have a large male readership because i know a lot of men don't relate to the things i write and aren't interested in trying.

that said, knowing that some of my readership (even if it's only ten per cent) is made up of men, fills me with joy. it fills me with hope that things might eventually change for the better. that men are starting to care/get educated, and also maybe see that feminism can benefit them too. the idea that some dude on his sofa is reading my very feminist fanfiction makes my day, really. i write about feminism and politics because i hope to see a change in the world and part of that is broadening my audience to people who might not be familiar with these themes. do i suspect most comments i get giving me pointless nitpicky/unsolicited criticism or telling me ginny is slut come from men? sure. but these are a minority and it's the price to "pay" when you write about these things.

so, my opinion on guys reading my works is that i don't really have an opinion, aside from the fact that i think it's amazing that you're there and my only hope is that there will be more of you in the future.

thank you so much for reading, and for being part of this community. it really means the world! 💚

[theimperiumchronicles]

Hi there buddy, my name is Athena. I'm coming to say hi, see how you're doing and this is a chance to ramble about your wips. Have any of your wips been influenced/inspired by podcasts or any other media?

Hi Athena :)

YES! Thank you for asking <3

All of them!! So...let's start at the beginning...take a seat...get a drink and a snack...this will...you know what, get that drink and a snack and I'll break this down so you can go potty in between WIPS. Otherwise you'll be doing the potty dance and trying to read faster and you might skip something...and no one wants that. *grins happily* We'll start with The Imperium Chronicles (@theimperiumchronicles )

Okay - the original concept started as an RP a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago with some super cool and super good friends of mine. We used Cassandra Claire's Mortal Instruments book series as kind of inspiration, but there were parts of her mythos we thought were crap and her characters were too young and we HATED the whole chalice thing....so we kept a little and threw a WHOLE LOT out...and came up with the original crew - Abriella (who was an existing char of mine that I tweaked and was known as Brie then), Cruz, Dez, Talon, Talia, Raguel, Arioch, Char (she's dead and we're gonna leave her that way), and Deacon. Some people wrote more than one. None of the characters were actually based on characters from Claire's stories, we more based it one her setup and if you saw our stories then and some of the old stories I wrote for Brie, you'd recognize it. It's been almost 20 years now...she's evolved some.

NOW...the obvious inspiration for the current arc is kind of the Bible - 4 Horsemen and all. But again, there is a twist on it. Mainly because having done some Biblical study, I am aware that what we have today is at best the English translation from the Latin from the Greek from the Aramaic...or something along those lines....there may even be a few other translations thrown in there. In some cases there were multiple meanings for one English word. For instance when Jesus is walking on the water the more accurate translation is NOT "Fear not, it is I". It IS "Fear not, I AM." Why does this matter? Because God was know as The Great I AM. He was declaring his divinity within the statement but what seems like a minor translation issue is a HUGE one in context. Sooooo....I've used this to my story's advantage. In no way is my story related to reality or religion in any way, I'm just using something that is real in my fiction.

ALSO...Leandre, Andronicus, Orpheus, and Thenasus are completely and wholely based on the BBC Musketeers series, save the last season which IMO sucked balls. They are even based on the characters that share their FC. Leandre is my blorbo baby...Tom Burke *swoons*. ANYWAY...completely inspired by...blorbos were born watching the series while writing Abriella stories. Demanded they be born and allowed to participate. So, here we are.

Thinius...yep...he is alive and kicking because Imagine Dragons seems to write songs that just inspire the fuck out of the entire The Imperium Chronicles gang. And they demanded Dan Reynolds be a FC of a character as such. Don't ask where his personality come from other than when I saw them live in NOLA, it came to me watching that man literally bounce around for over 4 hours on stage like the Engergizer Bunny.

Kellen got his FC before I saw Shadow and Bone, but he became more formed and his character changed some afterwards. The plot didn't but he absorbed some of the elements of Kirigan that Ben played, elements that I had been struggling to figure out with Kellen. It was tied into the world building for Uffern, and as soon as he grabbed onto those tiny details, everything fell into place for Uffern and all the others who live there...including Korben's curse. z

POTTY BREAK...I'll start @bendingthelaws after I finish eating my lunch

TAG LIST - @ceph-the-ghost-writer @saltysupercomputer @careful-pyromancer @late-to-the-fandom @autumnalwalker @perasperaadastrawriting @fearofahumanplanet @jessica-writes22 @dogmomwrites @mjjune @verba-writing @blind-the-winds @shipping-through-eternity  @outpost51 @inkspellangel @blind-the-winds @sunset-a-story @writingmaidenwarrior @clairelsonao3 @toribookworm22 @there-goes-thefighter

Please let me know if you would like +/- From the list

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (9-15 Apr 2023)

ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᶦ ᵇᶦⁿᵍᵉᵈ ʸᵉˢᵗᵉʳᵈᵃʸ

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰Love Exactly (darter_blue) - 64K, zimbits AU - fluffy AU with a chance meeting in a bar and instalove - fun read, like wrapping a warm blanket around yourself

😊👂‍Death Beside the Seaside (Lady Hardcastle Mysteries #6) (T.E. Kinsey, author; Elizabeth Knowelden, narrator) - Emily & Flo try to take a holiday at the seaside but there's no sea and a surprising number of internal spies. -

😍Wish Granted (ambut) - 40K, stucky no powers AU - reread of this fave D/s getting together fic

😊👂‍A Botanist's Guide to Parties and Poisons (Saffron Everleigh Mystery #1) (Kate Khavari, author; Jodie Harris, narrator) - entertaining enough cozy mystery set in 1920s British academia with the standard 'plucky & smart-but-also-foolish' amateur detective (newly minted botanist) trying to exonerate her mentor from murder charges. I enjoyed it enough that I might read another but I'm not feral for it

🥰Winter's Children (Neery) - 66K, stucky - "When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves. And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment…" - just a great fucking fic. I stayed up until 1AM to read and I am too fucking old to be doing nonsense like that, but it was totally worth it.

😍Fourth Floor (dirtybinary) - 41K, stucky modern magic AU - "The one where Steve is an angry millennial wizard, Sam is a Disney prince, Natasha is a shapeshifter, and Bucky is a spoiler."

🥰👂‍Rattling Bone (OutFoxing the Paranormal #2) (Jordan L Hawk, author; Tristan James, narrator) - another enjoyable & spooky ghost hunting adventure with the OutFoxing The Paranormal found family, this time dealing with Oscar's actual family history/trauma.

🥰You're the One That I Want (PR Zed (przed)) - 53K, stucky modern no powers AU - reread, angsty arranged-marriage-for-insurance that is so satisfying

💖💖 +203K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

toasty warm heart (wearing_tearing) - Stranger Things: steddie, 9K - TOO FUCKING CUTE AND WARM AND FLUFFY

as sunshine falls on the wretched (KivrinEngle) - The Hobbit: gen, 18K - a very sweet canon-divergent AU where bilbo adopts a lost little dwarf baby

Handy (softestpunk) - The Sandman: dreamling, 3K - ceramicist Dream lusts after handyman Hob, doesn't make his move, is sad but is saved when he meets the hot professor he's giving a guest lecture for - short and sweet!

the game is on again (ReinventAndBelieve) - The Witcher: Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel, 7K - hot and tender af!

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Dirty Laundry - s2, e5-7

Ted Lasso - s3, e5 [x2]

The Brokenwood Mysteries - s9, e1

Uncommon Comfort Reads with Malka Older, Martha Wells, KJ Charles, and T Kingfisher - super fun panel

Schmigadoon! - s1, e1-6

Schmigadoon! (Schmicago!) - s2, e1

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

99% Invisible #316 - The Shipping Forecast

The Sporkful - Bill Nye, The FOOD Science Guy!

Big Gay Fiction Podcast - A Trip to the Ballpark with KD Casey

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Places Our Families Took Us

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Ashley House

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Fairy Circles

Vibe Check - A Satisfied Geriatric Millennial

99% Invisible #532 - For a Dollar and a Dream

⭐The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Fun and Funny Science with Mary Roach

Off Menu - Ep 187: Lily Allen

Into It - Are We Into Taylor Swift's Breakup, Lofi Girl, and a Baby Shark Podcast? {worth a listen to hear whatshisname Alwyn described as 'sentient mayo'}

You're Dead To Me - Al Andalus

ICYMI Plus - Meet the Internet’s Princess

Welcome to Night Vale #226 - Creditors

⭐Hit Parade Plus - The British Are Charting Edition

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

CREDITS: Burt Bacharach

AM In The A.M.: '70s Pop Morning

Classic Sunny Afternoon

Best Of '81 To '85 [Ratt]

Essential Glam Rock

Ratt radio

"Summertime Girls" [Y&T] radio

The Fixx radio

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

re: trusty hogs: the sam campbell ep is also rly good, and as for the nish kumar ones i'd recommend the second one more than the first, not that the first isn't good, just that the second is one of my favorite podcast episodes of anything ever. the recent hannah gadsby and rhys nicholson eps are also great. the desiree burch one isn't particularly funny, but she is so smart and says a lot of really insightful things i think

Cool, thanks, I'll check that out! Desiree Burch is always brilliant on podcasts; I think on pure measuring of intelligence - by whatever measure intelligence can be reasonably measured, which is probably a very problematic thing to try to measure, but however that works - she has to be one of the smartest comedians out there. She's very funny when she tries to be, but she's intelligent and insightful all the time.

Anyway, I digress, thanks for the recommendations! I'll keep those in mind. Incidentally, to other people, this is the time to recommend me things. I frequently get messages while I'm in the middle of listening to some other long-running thing, telling me I should check out something else, and I don't do it because I cannot listen to anything else until I've finished every little bit of my current long-running audio thing. 2024 has been mostly taken up with that stuff so far, first the Robins + James radio/misc. John Robins stuff, and then the collected works of Peacock & Gamble.

I finished those before I went to the UK, and am now deliberately not starting anything new for a little bit, as I catch up on the streams and other Edinburgh shows, things like that. But I still need stuff to listen to on my work commutes/breaks. Last week I listened to most of Paul F. Thompkins stand-up albums, that was fun. Next week I'll finish those and I've got that Delightful Sausage radio thing, and a few episodes of this podcast now. Any other short audio thing that people think I should check out, let me know now, before I end up too buried in some months-long project to pay attention to anything else.

Will not listen to people talk about: food, anything magic or supernatural (unless purely fictional, let me know if any good comedians have a podcast about fantasy novels), movies. It really shut down that Peacock & Gamble stuff at the end of the double act, I'm not following whether either of them went (not quite true as there's a good chance the next thing I get into is Ian Boldsworth's solo radio stuff, but I'll leave a bit of time first, also I still have to get to Pappy's Flatshare thing eventually).

[otter1962crystalball]

What's Behind Door #1?

I’m sure that we all agree that it is fun to dream sometimes. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple of weeks. Some of these dreams are a little out there, but hey, that’s why we call them dreams…

I’ve been dreaming of a time when money wouldn’t be an issue for me. Everyone is struggling right now. There are people out there who can’t pay their bills or get enough food on the table. There are others who have had to sell everything to just survive. I have this recurring dream that I will wake up and the lottery ticket that I bought will be lucky and have me hit the jackpot. I’m dreaming here, really I am. I realize the probability of winning the LotoMax or Lotto 649 here in Canada. I checked and the odds of winning LotoMax is a staggering 33,294,800 to 1 and lotto 649 is 1 in 13.9 million… So, it’s a dream. So why do I keep buying tickets? I do so because my money is tight too. I live in a home that was meant for two people’s wages. I’ve hung on to it and will continue. My poor old truck died two years ago and I had to buy a new (used) car… There are always a bunch of expenses…

I dream about travelling the world. I think that I stand a better chance with this one. If I can manage to retire comfortably, then I can probably travel on a regular basis. I dream about going to Australia, New Zealand, South America, Japan and Norway. I’d love to explore the UK and follow the path of my ancestors, the Vikings. By the way, they have the bad rap of being pillagers and rapists and murderers. Not that different from any cultures. There were a lot of bloody situations. I digress though. The Vikings were actually excellent farmers and once they settled in England, they calmed down. There are a ton of references to the Vikings in English history, so I’d love to pursue it.

I’ve had several long term relationships with me. Some of them were actually very fulfilling and non dysfunctional. I’ve written about my former marriage to a raging narcissist so I won’t go into that, the one that followed my ex husband, who turned out to be more of a narcissist than my ex husband.  Live and learn they say. It brings up the question of what would I want in a relationship?

We all dream of our white knight on a horse. There were times when I settled on someone who was breathing… All humour aside, I felt that any attention was attention at least. I allowed a lot of nonsense to go on in some of my relationships, in which I played a part. Nonetheless, I have this little dream about meeting a man at my age. So, what would he be like?

Above all, he would have a good head on his shoulders and he would able to realize what I’ve spent years learning - to take care of oneself first in order to allow someone into your life. Secondly, he would be happy to receive me the way that I am - my quirks, my injuries, my snoring and loud disco music sessions as I make dinner. Ultimately, I want a man who will not want to change me. I would honour him in the same way: accept him for who he is. I don’t think it is too much to want to find a man who loves to smile, loves to have fun and isn’t afraid to show his emotions. I do cry at certain times at the movies and on Netflix. I don’t often get the change for someone to see that though. So, if he cries at sad and moving movies, great. Maybe it’ll loosen me up enough to do the same. I’d like someone who wants to experiment with life and get out and do things that are just wishes - like skydiving or climbing Kilimanjaro. They don’t even have to be that grandiose. I’d be happy to get up at a karaoke and actually sing in front of people or learn to dance like no one is watching. Someone who has the desire to seek these things out would make me very happy. By the way, if he were to like to sit on the couch and watch science fiction or whatever would be nice too.

My good friend, Maddox, who has a podcast called “The Authentic Gay Man Podcast,” told me that if we believe that it is possible then one day it will happen. He says that if we emit high positive energy, we are more likely to meet people the same as me. So, I have worked on my energetic attraction and learned a lot about myself. I think that it has enabled me to see that there will be someone out there for me and that it could happen at anytime. Tell you what, if it does happen, I will write a blog entry about it. I think I will title it, “Door 1, Door 2, or Door 3? He’ll be behind Door 1! 

Carpe diem!

[potato-jem]

3,12,13 :)

hi lys!!

3. What were your top five books of the year?

we are counting fan fiction, i don't care anymore (no particular order)

good girl, bad blood (a good girl's guide to murder #2) by holly jackson

literally jawdropping. i read the first book ages ago and i didn't realise it was a trilogy, so i picked up the next two. this book is so so so good. it addresses the toll the previous case she worked on put on her through her podcast as well as trying to do what the police department in her town can. i couldn't put it down. it was amazing.

all the young dudes by mskingbean89 (by default the sirius pov by @rollercoasterwords as well [probably better in my opinion])

probably one of the best fanfictions i have read ever. i couldn't read the last chapter through my tears. in fact, i haven't even finished the sirius pov, because i am that desperate to hold onto that bittersweet ache this story gives me. beautifully written, it is canon and i thank my lucky stars everyday that i was on this earth at the same time as archiveofourown.org

solitaire by alice oseman

loved this, mostly because i related to tori so much. no real sense of identity, no real desire to go out or do anything. i had to take a few breaks because i did not ask for a free psychoanalysis with my purchase

crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky

it took me a while to read it, but i got through it and it changed my perspective on a lot of things. i love how instead of just focusing on the murder and the risk of being discovered, it also showed the guilt that was practically eating raskolnikov from the inside

last night at the telegraph club by malinda lo

sapphic books my beloved <3 this book was so incredible. it was sad, it was sweet, the ending was the perfect combo of happy and miserable. it is also nice to see some sapphic poc representation, especially in a book set in the 1950s

12. Any books that disappointed you?

there are still a few books i am trying to get through, but it's really hard because they aren't to my taste or what i expected them to be. siege and storm by leigh bardugo is one, and i am trying to finish it so i can move onto the six of crows duology. klara and the sun by kazuo ishiguro is a bit like this as well. i have not finished either of them. one that disappointed and i did finish was you'll be the death of me by karen mcmanus (too predictable, solved it after a quarter of the book)

13. What were your least favorite books of the year?

WHEN YOU ARE MINE BY MICHAEL ROBOTHAM. this is maybe one of the worst books i have ever been subjected to in my entire life (number one spot will always go to the song of achilles by madeline miller [i'm sorry]) his characterisation of women is frankly disgusting and i had to dnf for my own sanity. when you advertise a book as a crime novel, focus on the crime. not the weird good for nothing police officer daughter of a gang leader and her weird stalker friend she rescued.

thank you for giving me a chance to be a hater <3

end of year book asks

[c0rps3g0bbl3r]

Beyond the parasocial hellscape that is any virtual group, especially this one in particular, HEARTSTEEL is built to be a boy band that is, transparently, a KPop boyband. That's not a problem at all, by the way. Like, white america doesn't get to dictate what a boy band is or should look like. However, uh, when you translate these characters into the real world you've got to choose where they're from by virtue of their chosen back stories. Their wants, their dreams, their obstacles, their concerns, and their personal fears are all things you have to choose when translating a fantasy character into our world.

And BOY HOWDY did Riot make some choices.

Every single one of them has some sort of really, really, intense backgrounds that critique the music industry, capitalism, and the very real BIG DEAL of work culture and the exponentially rising rate of younger and younger burnouts.

I have thoughts on all six of them, but right this second I want to talk about Sett and Kayn specifically because they're both set in my personal background and their representation of poverty and anti-establishment culture could have been so refreshing and validating but as they are I am f r u s t r a t e.

So I want to start with Sett because it's easier to describe what I'm bothered by at face value. Simply: he's a poor gay boy who just lucked out on his rap career.

The long version: It's complicated for people at Riot who design this stuff because you can tell there are two mindsets on what Sett is. He is either a) the male power fantasy where you punch really hard and you own a lot of stuff and maybe you listen to andrew tate's podcast and b) he's a hard-headed bastard who loves his mom very much and drinks fruity cocktails and also spends a lot of time caring about his MCR-baby haircut and his white pants and his Vastayan found family. In Runeterra, these really can't coexist. For example, his color story is at direct odds with Legends of Runeterra and his gaggle of also dumb friends fighting for money and getting drunk while icing their bruises. There's also the thing about him being gay for Aphelios, sorta if you think that two dead gay lovers is good enough.

BUUUUUUT heartsteel ACTUALLY has a chance to rectify this! Or it did! Wow am I disappointed!!!

Riot describes real-world like in our world literally Sett as: "Don't let the chiseled abs fool you: With savvy style and a heart of gold tempered by years of hard work supporting his mom, Sett has earned his confident rapper's swagger. His last music career ended when he punched a paparazzo, but he won't be kept down. People call Sett a lot of things, but when he's on stage with HEARTSTEEL, you can call him “boss.”

So he isn't super strong and hot-headed because it's his thing. Sett's like that because he's from a single parent home and had to work hard in his young years because there wasn't anybody else to do it. And as young as they are all portrayed it means he worked hard labor jobs to support his mom and keep food on the table.

I am SLAMMING MY FISTS ON THE TABLE

His rags-to-riches story is mutated by the expectation of real-world hardship and our cultural beliefs around young men doing back-breaking work. Instead of it being about fighting rings and other slightly illegal activities, which could have worked here, it's about a life that so many young boys and men are forced into with no way out.

Sett being a picked-up rapper is the fantasy that so many poor boys have and it's really gross to compound that with a paparazzi hound pushed and punished this hard trodden young man so much he physically lashed out. Violence and fighting skills for poor people isn't a sign of bad manners, it's a sign of survival and to place this fictional character into the gap of classism is pretty, uh, gross.

Because heartsteel Sett isn't supposed to read as what I'm talking about. Their dumb boys playing with cameras not people who need these things to work out for them because they need to escape whatever situation they're in. Actively preying on people to make heartsteel become an even bigger thing than a thirst-trap kpop boy band fad by manipulating lore-fans into associating Sett with rappers like Tupac, B.I.G., and Eminem without making a true stand with their virtual boy band is problematic asf.

Also just a little idea for you to think about: As young as these guys are supposed to be in this reality, the scar on Sett's nose is actually more complicated than "he got it in a fight" or a cheeky nod to Berserker (which is ALSO problematic if you think about it lmao).

At mid his mid 20s, a scar like that as deep and dark as it is can only come from a few places in our reality. Maybe a knife fight, yeah, but that's unlikely because he isn't a street fighter in this universe. You can make a lot of headcanons about it but there is only one that makes total sense to me, personally, and it's just a ironic as the rest of my critique of heartsteel.

If he worked hard for his mom, and it definitely wasn't through the rap game at first, it was probably from an accident at any of the poor-young man jobs that all poverty kids end up doing at least once. So many of us have lasting scars for those days and it's a shame this part of Sett isn't the main focus of heartsteel.

It's instead his young stud sex appeal.

Kayn is arguably worse but for reasons that are harder to place without real musical knowledge and for the one person who reason all this I am so soryr.

yknow as much as I like more overtly and covert queer representation in league of legends I am not happy with the usage of our historic symbols in co-opted make-a-company-worth-billions-worth-more-billions. Rewriting our existence through commodification of a language and culture lost over and over again is...g r e a t

K'Sante, Hwei, and Heartsteel really get under my skin for different reasons

I want these symbols and stories to matter in a way that inspires young and old queers alike to remind ourselves that our culture is not insignificant nor something to use for the sake of profits. It's something that should be seen as sacred and overwhelming resilient in the face of negligence and genocide. The same goes for the queer sub-cultures like punk and poverty fashion symbols; I hate that we have to compromise for our morals and self-identities to feel "seen" by our favorite corporate overlords.

[captainswanapproved]

HOTD & Daemon and Rhaenyra have been such a blessing.

Under the cut I get really sappy about this ship and the fandom.

I never thought I would be interested in House of the Dragon because I never rooted for Daenerys or a Targaryen restoration in GOT. My loyalty was to the Starks and they were my favorites. Because of this, I didn't hate season 8. For the most part, I enjoyed the journey of the characters in the final season. It should have been better executed with more episodes, but I more or less liked where the characters ended up. So when this show was announced, I dismissed it because if I didn't like the character that is arguably the most influential Targaryen, why would I want to watch a show about the family and its civil war.

So now here comes House of the Dragon. I tried watching the first episode, got to the tourney and I wasn't feeling it, despite my love of Matt Smith.

Then I listened to one of my favorite podcasts that was reviewing House of the Dragon. I wanted to see if it was worth giving another chance. Episode 5 had just aired.

I decided to give it a chance and I absolutely fell in love with Rhaenyra and Daemon and Syrax and Caraxes and Viserys (even though I was frustrated with some of his decisions.)

I love House of the Dragon because it is so character focused and feels more intimate than Game of Thrones. We get to know the characters better because there are fewer to focus on. We also get hints of a love story with so many high romance tropes, which is unusual for Game of Thrones.

I knew nothing about Fire and Blood except for the fact that it existed, but I picked up on Daemon and Rhaenyra as a future couple from episode one, and I started to root for them. Only after I was caught up after episode five did I actually look up Daemon and Rhaenyra and how their relationship happened in the book.

I decided to get back to tumblr and start shipping. And once I ship something, I am ride or die.

House of the Dragon brought me back to tumblr and fandom after many years and an accidental deletion of my blog sent me away.

This show is also important to me because right now I am in the hardest semester of nursing school, constantly being beaten down by how much material there is and how busy and draining it is.

Watching this show gave me what I desperately needed. An hour a week to just take some time for myself and obsess over a story I loved and fictional character that I loved. It brought me back to writing fanfiction again, which I honestly haven't done because I've been focusing on publishing my books (which granted are Jane Austen Fan Fiction, but that is a separate thing).

In writing for stories for Daemon and Rhaenyra I found a way to get back into writing post the release of my fourth novel and during one of the most stressful periods of my life thus far.

I love writing so much, but working on my novel during school felt overwhelming. It was much easier to write short drabbles and a short multi chapter story about Daemon and Rhaenyra.

I am so entirely grateful for this show, and even though it has only been a month, it brought me so much joy and helped me cope with my crazy and stressful personal life.

So no matter the questionable writing choices, I'm in. All in. Until the very end. Daemon and Rhaenyra have taken a part of my heart, and I will watch their tragic and beautiful journey together.

That being said, it will be nice when season 2 happens because I'll be done with school and hopefully I'll have more time to write some fix it fic, which we are going to need in season 2.

Thank you to everyone who has followed recently and interacts with my posts and supports my writing.

I love you, Daemyra nation. Let's enjoy this last episode, or at least enjoy all the discourse, fan edits, gif sets, and fix it fic that come after it!

[rosy-cheekx]

Heard you were looking for prompts :) 1 of 2 - From favorite tropes: Blind date set up by mutual friends! And maybe combined with "I'm speechless you're so beautiful" from the fluff & kisses (and other stuff) prompts. Go wild with it!

This will go to AO3 soon, but it was a lot of fun to write and a nice distraction from any hypothetical realities the TMA fandom may be experiencing. 

Double-Blind: 5K

Martin smelled like espresso. He wrinkled his nose and dusted his hands on his apron uselessly, as if doing so would rid himself of the months of coffee, cinnamon, and hazelnut baked into his skin.  It wasn’t all that bad, he supposed, except what was the point in using cologne if it was going to be immediately overpowered?

The bell above the door jingled and Martin jumped, pulled from his thoughts on cologne and what he would like to smell like, given the opportunity. Sandalwood, maybe? Tobacco and vanilla? The musky-sweet smells are nice, they have a nice mix of feminine and masculine to them, almost—

“Ahem.” An exaggerated clearing of the throat, once again whisking him from his distractions. Martin locked eyes on the woman across the counter from him, grinning mischievously. “Welcome back to Earth, Martin.”

“Oh! Oh. It’s just you. Hi, Georgie.” Georgie Barker, a regular customer, moderately well-known podcast host, and most importantly, one of Martin’s favorite people to see at the tiny coffee shop he spent more time in than his own flat.

“Just me? Excuse me.” Georgie pouted and crossed her arms, coily hair bouncing around her face as she shook her head. “I’ll have you know you should be grateful to see me this fine afternoon, Martin Koffee Blackwood!”

Martin grinned and dropped the act. “I always am, Georgie. But I told you, there’s not a—”

“Like I said, you should be happy to see me.” Georgie barreled on. “I have good news.” She cocked her head and pondered the chalk-covered board behind the counter. “Two chai lattes, please. And make one of them extra spicy?”

Martin rang up the order and passed two cups down to Rosie, all the while checking the door surreptitiously, ensuring a little chat wouldn’t hold anyone up. “Okay? Spill.”

Georgie’s phone was in her hand, and she waved it at Martin like it contained the secrets of the universe. “D’you remember my roommate, Melanie?”

Martin nodded, pursing his lips. “Vaguely. I thought you guys were dating.” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to elaborate.

Georgie waved a hand dismissively, rolling her eyes. “Not the point. Anyways, she has a friend of a friend-“ Georgie frowned for a moment, “…of a friend who is looking to get back into dating. Mel says he’s short and nerdy and prickly until you get to know him. Apparently a real pain to work with according to the friend.” Georgie smirked and pulled a sticky note from her back pocket. “Thought maybe you’d want his number.”

Martin grimaced at the blue piece of paper as she smoothed it to the counter with a firm motion. “Wow, George. Really selling it.” It was his fault; they had bonded over being queer back in July when Martin had worn his gay and trans pride buttons and Georgie was proudly sporting her own pansexual patch firmly affixed to her laptop case. One lunch break discussing quirky exes later, their friendship had been sealed. Mentioning offhandedly that he was on dating apps and hating every minute of it seemed to have rooted itself in Georgie’s mind and had grown like weeds until she had taken it upon herself to become his personal wing woman.

“Do you even know his name?” Martin asked, regarding the string of numbers on the piece of paper in front of him.

Georgie blushed, shrugging apologetically. “Friend of a friend of a friend. Sorry mate. Melanie said he likes cats, documentaries, and-” she made air quotes with her fingers, “-being uptight.”

“Wow.” Martin chuckled in disbelief. “Really selling it here.”

Rosie sidled by Martin and set down Georgie’s lattes, who shrugged and picked them up after dropping a few coins in the tip jar. “You have his number. Just think about it, Blackwood. Melanie’s friend doesn’t spread the word about someone unless they’re something special.” She blew a kiss (clumsily, considering the cups requiring the attention of each of her hands) and made her way to the door.

“I just want you to be happy!” She called out as the January winds pulled her out the door and into the grey afternoon.

Martin chewed on his lip as he considered. January was always a tough month for him, and he had been feeling a little lonely recently. He really didn’t see anyone besides his coworkers, customers, and his mother. As much as he enjoyed his job, he wouldn’t call anyone there a romantic interest. He folded the sticky note and stuck it in his pocket as his next customer approached the counter. He did like cats, after all. Maybe that would be a good starting conversation.

--

Jonathan Sims groaned and shifted the stack of books in his hand as he inspected the knee-high table that was buried amongst the fiction books. He hated working the children’s section of the library. Although no food or drink was allowed, there always seemed to be crumbs everywhere. He was starting to wonder if children just manifested them. He made a mental note to come back with disinfectant wipes after putting the stack of child-suitable biographies away and turned, nearly walking straight into the chest of one Timothy Stoker.

“A-ah!” Jon jumped instinctively backward, clutching the books closer to his chest in an attempt to keep from dropping them. “Tim! Good lord, there’s really no need to be sneaking up on me like that.”

Tim grinned wryly and shrugged, taking half of the books from Jon’s arms. “Sorry boss, thought you heard me.” He gestured for Jon to lead the way through the half-sized bookshelves; an unnecessary act seeing as Tim worked the children’s library much more frequently than Jon did.

“I’m not your-” Jon sighed, deciding this wasn’t the hill he wanted to die on today. He made his way through the shelves, sliding books into their correct placements with practiced hands. “Do you need something?”

“Actually,” Tim checked a Dewey code and slid a book into a shelf a few rows down. “I don’t. But you do.”

Jon stared blankly, uncomprehending. Tim chuckled and gestured with a cock of his head towards the research section. “Melanie said she has a friend who has a friend she wants to set up on a date. And while normally, I’d jump at the chance-” he waved his left hand, the silver ring inset with tiny diamonds flashing in the fluorescents, “I’ve been wifed up and I don’t think my dear Sash would appreciate my going on a blind date with a stranger.”

Jon frowned, setting his stack of books down and eyeing Tim. “What, so I have to?”

Tim shook his head, a patient smile on his face. “No, no one is forcing you. I just think—well. It’s been a while since your last relationship and you’ve been a little…testy, recently.” The look on Tim’s face dared Jon to contradict. “Melanie says he’s apparently a really good guy, very kind and sweet and patient. I think his name is Melvin? I kinda tuned out after she wrote down the number she got from her friend.”

Jon scoffed, pushing his glasses up his face as if that would help him comprehend the absolute ridiculousness of what Tim was saying. “Y-You want me to go on a date with this guy, Melvin? Because I’ve been…grumpy? That doesn’t seem very kind to this mysterious date.”

Tim pursed his lips. “I just think you could benefit from seeing someone who doesn’t work here. I mean, we love you Jon, but god, you need to get a social life. I’m practically begging you.” Tim’s purse elongated into a pout, eyes going big and starry. Jon inwardly groaned. Tim was his oldest friend here at the library and he really never learned how to resist that face. Maybe he should ask Sasha.

“One date,” Jon promised. “I’ll do one date. And then you never set me up again.”

Tim grabbed the rest of the books Jon had set down and added them to his stack before whisking himself away down the aisles. “If we’re lucky, I’ll never have to!” He called down the aisles, grinning madly. Jon sighed and grabbed a small pink sticky note that had been stuck to the countertop, running his eyes over the numbers before slipping it into his pocket. He’ll call later.

--

Martin stared resolutely at the numbers on the blue sticky note, running his thumb over the curled edge of the paper, slightly stained from some sort of milk during the shift. Even his apron pockets weren’t foolproof. The underground was busy and he was jammed between an older woman who smelled weirdly like salmon and a man who seemed utterly too well-dressed to be on the tube. Elbows crammed into his side to keep from nudging anyone, he pulled out his phone and stared at the messaging app for what felt like several minutes. He typed the numbers into the message bar and watched his cursor blip in the body of the message.

Hey whats up?

No, that would be so weird.

Hiya, this is martin!

Georgie never said the man’s name, would this mysterious date know his?

Hey I think the alphabet is missing I and U together.

Gross. Just gross. Martin grimaced inwardly and chewed on his lip, thinking carefully before typing.

Hi! My name is martin. my friend gave me your number, hope thats okay. she said you were really nice and recommended we try a blind date. if this is too weird, I get ignoring it. but if youre game, I am! :)

As he finished typing, he heard the familiar robotic voice of the tube announcing his stop. Quickly, Martin shoved the phone in his pocket and carefully forced his way through the crowd and onto the platform, mind cast to what he had accessible for dinner.

----

It took Jon a few days, until Saturday, to remember to call the phone number they had been given. They could text, they supposed, but they always appreciated hearing someone’s intonation a little better. Especially a stranger, ugh, they shuddered at the idea of not being able to decipher the tone of this Melvin. It was half-past 11 when they decided to call, hoping this would be late enough in the morning to not wake him up.

The phone rang momentarily before a surprisingly feminine voice answered the phone. “Hello. This is Rosie. You’ve reached Swirl Café and Bakery.”

Well shit. This was not what Jon expected. They stumbled over their rehearsed speech, trying to scramble words together in a way that made sense. “Uh-sorry, I must have the wrong number. I-I was trying to speak to Melvin?”

“Mmm, sorry. No Melvin works here. We have a Martin, but he’s off the clock. Would you like to speak to our manager?” Rosie’s voice was clipped and courteous, but Jon could hear the bustle of voices in the background. It must be their weekend rush.

“Ah-uh, no, no thank you.” Jon shook their head into the phone, before remembering that did not translate aurally. “It’s alright. Thank you anyways.”

“Sorry, mate. Thanks for calling!” The dial tone droned on for a moment before Jon hung up, sighing and pressing the heels of their hands into their eyes. That was a waste. Melanie must have been playing them; Jon knew they generally didn’t get along, but they didn’t realize she would stoop so low. Honestly, shame on themself for getting excited about a date.

Later that evening, Jon was cooking and listening to music through the speaker that balanced precariously on a shelf next to their stove. The music was low, with a variety of orchestral instruments and sultry, smooth voices. Jon’s eyes were half closed as they stirred the curry in the pan in front of them, letting the music and heat of the kitchen entangle them in a sleepy feeling relaxing their whole body. As the cello in the song dipped low and resonant, Jon stood still, letting the music sweep them away—

They jumped as the ringer alerted them through the speaker that they had received a text, glaringly electronic compared to the rich notes of cello and viola that had been so rudely interrupted. Sleepy feeling gone as adrenaline washed through their body, Jon sighed and retrieved their phone, checking for the message.

An unknown number flicked across the screen:

Hi! my name is martin. my friend gave me your number, hope thats okay. she said you were really nice and recommended we try a blind date. if this is too weird, i get ignoring it. but if youre game, I am! :)

i meant to send this a few days ago but I never hit send. sorry ab that! rosie said someone called the café asking ab me and i assumed that was you bc i wasnt expecting anyone else and no one involved in the blind date thing ever asked for my mobile number.

if it wasn’t you, oops! either way it reminded me that i had never texted you. :)

Jon squinted at the screen as they read the messages a few times over. That was…a lot of words. So his name was Martin. It was certainly nicer than Melvin. Jon agonized over their words as they typed out a response.

Hello Martin. That was me who called the café…I hope it didn’t cause problems for you. Blind dates aren’t usually my thing, but my coworkers think I need to get out more. I’d be happy to meet you for dinner or coffee. Even if we don’t get along, we can say we’ve done it.

Unless, of course, you’re rather sick of coffee. I prefer tea anyways.

…not “done it” done it. Just. Had the blind date.

Jon winced at their follow up texts. God, that was embarrassing. Martin probably didn’t even take it that way until they bothered to clarify. They shook their head, warding away the growing anxiety in their chest and tucked their phone in their pocket as they turned their attention back to the simmering curry. Jon had embarrassed themselves enough for one night.

----

Martin chuckled at the texts that came through; one slow and the two follow-ups rapid. He could feel the awkwardness through the messages, desperately trying to give a good impression. He chuckled to himself as he set down his dinner plate.

dinner sounds perfect. but same about the tea! and about the coworkers tbh, my friends think im making friends with the espresso machine. which, i am, but only bc its good company haha.

btw i never got your name?

Martin’s phone was silent the rest of the night, as he plodded his way through a mediocre dinner and shower before settling into his armchair, desperate to work on his poetry. Words came slowly to him recently, thoughts about the world and darkness and the intersection of fall and winter. He really should up and move to somewhere warmer, he thought to himself, before laughing the notion away aloud. Yeah, right. He rolled his eyes and tried to focus on the poetry prompts book he had found at the charity shop. “Use noncolor words to describe a color.” Great. Martin settled back and tried to focus, but kept finding himself checking his phone impulsively, the foamed latte art he’d photographed, one of a cat he was particularly proud of, stared back at him judgmentally.

As he drew his evening to a close, Martin almost missed the buzz of his phone, now plugged in by his bed, as he brushed his teeth.

Congrats on the espresso machine. And my name is Jon. Anywhere you want to go for dinner?

________________________________________________________________

Jon hesitated, thumb hovering over the icon that would open a video chat with Tim. He didn’t want to come off nervous, but… he was.

Texting had been going well. Martin was good at keeping the conversation going and genuinely seemed to enjoy the long texts Jon had sent regarding his irritations with the research he was conducting as a part of his master’s in literature, asking him questions about details Jon had added for context. Martin was easy to talk to, too, he always seemed to have an opinion on subjects but always ones Jon was happy to hear, even if he was objectively wrong about spiders and oolong tea. Martin had sent an awkward text, letting Jon know he was trans and that if that was a dealbreaker he should tell him now, one Jon had blushed over and responded that he was nonbinary himself, and that it certainly wasn’t. The “okay fantastic! :))) remind me of your pronouns? he/him for me.” that followed it up had made Jon’s heart sing.

They had agreed to meet at an Italian place, equidistant between their flats and not too fancy. Martin had commented about getting ice cream after, but Jon wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, since it had also been a jab about Jon’s preference for rum raisin. Thus, he was staring at his wardrobe, paralyzed with indecision. Tim had offered to help, which Jon had initially rejected since he’s “not a child Tim, I’ve dated before. And I know how to dress myself.” But lord if he wasn’t wishing for someone to lay out his clothes and tell him to behave. He grimaced and jabbed the video chat button, bracing for the onslaught of teasing to come.

----

Martin adjusted his collar for what must have been the twelfth time, sucking on his lip as he waited at the reserved table. He hadn’t been there long, no more than five minutes, but his anxiety had been building up all day and a part of him was absolutely certain Jon wasn’t going to come. Neither of them knew what the other looked like; what if Jon saw him and had dipped out immediately? He was wearing mint green, as he had promised, so Jon would recognize him, and brought a bouquet of daisies, mostly because it felt weird not to bring anything, but he didn’t want to be too romantic. Not roses or anything. Besides, Jon said he liked daisies, said they reminded him of an old friend. Martin hoped it wasn’t too weird. He brushed his auburn curls out of the way of his eyes, part of him regretting not having gotten a haircut first, but he tucked those thoughts aside as he surveyed the restaurant from his vantage point.

He blinked in confusion as he watched long curls make their way towards him. Dark black hair, streaked with white, half bunned up in the back and rest left to hang loose, skimming purple-covered elbows. Martin wasn’t sure if they were wearing flowy grey pants or a skirt, but either way, the faint black pattern to them was stunning and Martin couldn’t help but watch the swoosh of the hemlines. As the person got closer, Martin realized they were tiny, stylized eyes.

“Ah-you’re Martin, right?” It took Martin a second to realize this absolutely beautiful person was talking to him.

“hmm—Oh! Yes! You must be Jon.” Martin stood, unsure whether he should shake Jon’s hand or hug him or? But Jon solved the problem himself by sitting, and so Martin did as well. “It’s nice to finally meet you…in person, that is,” he added, grinning shyly. “You look lovely, by the way.”

Jon blushed. “Ah, thank you. Y-You too. O-or handsome, whichever you prefer.” He sipped his water and fidgeted with his hands, eyes flicking around the room nervously before coming around to rest on Martin.

Martin shrugged. “A compliment is a compliment, they all work. Speaking of—what pronouns are you feeling today? I remember you saying it varies.”

Jon shook his head slightly. “I’m not going to pitch a fit either way, but ‘he’ is just fine.” It was nice to be asked. The library respected his pronouns, of course, but something about Martin going out of his way to make sure he was on the same page was… It made Jon’s heart thud deep in his chest.

They made small talk about the travel, the weather, Italian food preferences until the waiter came and relieved the tension. Martin felt his shoulders relax after they both ordered; it felt more real somehow.

“So,” Martin asked, sipping his water demurely, a smile tinged on his lips. “Melvin, huh?”

Jon choked on air for a moment. His mouth gaped open and shut again and Martin couldn’t help the grin overtook him. Jon’s embarrassment was sweet; his cheeks flushed and he bowed his head slightly. It was a lovely look on him. “For the record, that’s what I was told by my coworker, Tim.” Jon made air quotes with his fingers. “‘Melvin or something.’ Who was I to question your name?”

“Right, and I’m glad you respect names ‘n’ all. But Melvin?” Martin chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “I’m not the decimal system guy.”

“Nn-mmm,” Jon shook his head, nose wrinkled in a way Martin found particularly cute. “That’s Melville. Melville Dewey.” Jon emphasized, back straightening. “Distinctly different. I’m a librarian, actually.”

“Oh!” Martin blinked. “That makes sense. You work with Melanie, then, I assume?”

Jon grimaced again. “Unfortunately.”

“She’s not that bad!” Martin insisted. “I’ve met her once or twice and she’s been very polite.”

Jon rolled his eyes. “For someone who’s getting a degree in parapsychology, she seems very judgmental.”

“Oh? And what are you studying again?”

“English Lit-hey!”

Martin grinned behind his glass of water. “Just saying, I haven’t met an English Lit student who wasn’t obscenely pretentious.”

Jon faltered for a second and slumped his shoulders in defeat, though his voice still seemed to carry humor, albeit dry. “Unfortunately, I am no exception.”

“Well, I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

Dinner arrived smoothly, shrimp scampi for Jon and eggplant parmesan for Martin. They ate slowly, chatting more about Jon’s graduate degree, Martin’s affinity for fiction and poetry, and their shared interest in tea.

“So, are you vegetarian?” Jon gestured to the eggplant on Martin’s plate. Martin wobbled his head slightly, not quite a negatory shake of the head.

“It’s complicated. My mother has—had—a sensitive stomach so we didn’t eat meat growing up. I think that turned me off the taste. And there’s something about the texture,” he shuddered. “Weirds me out.”

Jon’s eyes were sharp, boring holes into Martin’s in a way he should have found alarming, but instead found soothing. “Mine, too.” His tone—softer, almost reverent, clued Martin in: he wasn’t talking about being vegetarian.

Martin nodded, and gently placed a hand on Jon’s, the one that hovered near his drinking glass. “I’m sorry.”

They were quiet for a moment, Jon’s hand was small and warm under his, and Martin could feel a thin silver bracelet clinging to his wrist. Martin was amazed by how perfectly his fingers rested over Jon’s, how nice it must feel to hold hands with him on a walk or side by side against the world. Jon cleared his throat suddenly and reached for his glass, gulping down water while staring steadfastly at his plate.

Martin felt his own blush rise through his cheeks and pushed a stray noodle around his plate. “So, here’s a question,” he began, eager to clear the tension. “You said earlier your friend Tim gave you the number to Swirl, right? I don’t know a Tim. So how did he know me?”

Jon frowned, cocking his head. “Technically, I got the number from Tim but that was via Melanie. She said her roommate was friends with…well, friends with you.”

“Mmhmm, that makes sense. I know Georgie from the coffee shop.” He was about to continue when he saw absolutely paralyzed look on Jon’s face. “You…you alright?”

Jon was stock still, pausing the forkful of shrimp that was en route to his mouth. “Sorry, Melanie’s roommate is Georgie?”

Martin nodded slowly. “Yeah, Georgie Barker, that podcaster. She gets her an extra-spicy chai latte from Swirl most days and that’s about the most I know of the relationship. Why, you know her?”

Jon put the fork down, shrimp forgotten, and sighed, running his thumbs along the bridge of his nose, pushing his thin-rimmed glasses up to his eyebrows. “Y-yes, she’s kind of…my ex.”

It was Martin’s turn to freeze. “Sorry?”

“Mmm, yeah, we decided we were better as friends. It was back in Oxford. But I don’t exactly see her often much anymore.��� Jon winced at his own words, as if he knew how bad they sounded.

Martin sat back in disbelief, chuckling to himself. “Y’know, she said you were a ‘friend of a friend of a friend.’ D’you think she even knew it was you?”

Jon cocked his head in thought. “I guess not. I mean, I think the whole library staff has been gunning for me to relieve some tension. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve been looking for a blind date for me for months now.”

Martin grinned, eyes sparkling. “Well, no matter. It was lucky for me.” Lucky again, was Martin, when he was rewarded with Jon’s warm blush.

----

The bill had been a painful affair, with both Jon and Martin vying for the privilege of paying. Martin struck a deal: he’d pay for the dinner, and Jon would pay for ice cream. Jon knew the differences would widely outweigh when it came to cost but he relented, and the self-satisfied smirk that blossomed over Jon’s face was payment enough.

Martin pointed out the ice cream parlor was a few blocks away and, though it was January, they decided to walk. The fresh snow on the ground glinted against the orange street lamps, and Jon laughed under his breath at the way Martin took great care to step on any unusually large clumps of snow, like he had a personal vendetta. When Jon’s chuckle had made it past the scarf he had wound round his neck and mouth, Martin had glanced over, embarrassed.

“I like the sound of it,” he mumbled, suddenly very meek for a man his stature. It was, regretfully, endearing. Martin was tall, but he was big too, and it was obvious underneath the layer of soft cashmere and chub, there was rigid muscle, and beneath that still, a gentle heart. Jon was struck by him, in more ways he had prepared himself for, and it felt second nature to slide his gloved hand into Martin’s and give it a solid squeeze of acknowledgement.

“Do you think it’s too cold to get ice cream?” Jon asked, watching a cloud of breath float by his lips.

Martin shrugged. “Technically? Yes. But who’s going to tell on us?” Jon swung their entwined hands a little. “Unless…you don’t want to?” Martin added, eyes locking on Jon’s before his head followed.

Jon shook his head. “No, I want to. I believe we have a debt to settle and I have a personal score involving rum raisin.” Martin beamed, clearly pleased, and Jon was certain the snow around him melted right off with the warmth of his smile. Jon leant into Martin’s side a little, and they continued in silence until they reached the ice cream parlor, the entrance to which glowed with pink and white LEDs.

Jon smugly ordered a scoop of rum raisin and was delighted to find Martin “didn’t hate it,” though he insisted his mint chip was better. That was genuinely the best Jon could hope for; not even Georgie in all her unusual tastes enjoyed his rum raisin sensibility. “My grandmother loved it when I was a kid,” he explained between bites, stirring the ice cream with his spoon. “It was the only flavor she kept around the house.”

“Not even vanilla?” Martin gasped in mock disbelief. “Any sensible person would say you’ve been tricked into enjoying it.” Jon chuckled and elbowed Martin mildly.

Jon found himself lingering over the bowl, realizing that the end of their dessert meant an end to the date. Martin seemed to be acting similarly, putting his spoon down between bites and taking more and more thoughtful swallows between their bouts of conversation.

“You-you took the tube here, right?” Jon asked, setting his finally-empty bowl off to the side. At Martin’s confirmation, Jon clenched his fist below the table. “Do you want to walk to the station together?”

Martin’s eyes lit up, nodding eagerly. “I had meant to ask, actually! I wanted to make sure you got there safe.” Jon winced at the blush that overtook his cheeks, though it was easy to blame it on the chill of the ice cream and the frigid night.

The walk to the tube was longer and the pair, heavily sated by pasta and dairy, were quiet, making soft comments about the snow or the odd remaining Christmas decorations, hands clasped tightly and shoulders pressing into the other. The fluorescents of the underground shone brightly, normally a beacon calling travelers home in the night, but to Jon it felt like a dreadful curse. He truly hadn’t expected to enjoy his evening with Martin so much, but they had just clicked. It felt like a shame to let it go.

Swiping their cards, Jon and Martin passed through their respective turnstiles and stood at the bisecting tunnels through which the various lines waited to take them home. They faced each other in silence, hands still interlocked, unsure of how to begin.

“If you’d like to,” Jon murmured, eyes shifting focus to Martin’s curls, plastered to his forehead from the snow; his collar, peeking through his coat; the way the shell of his ear seemed to have a nick missing (was it from a childhood accident? Just the way it was grown?). “I’d like to go out again.”

Martin squeezed Jon’s hand, and Jon’s eyes flitted back to Martin’s own; they were grey-blue and reminded Jon of his childhood sea. “Mmhmm, yeah.” Martin rolled his eyes at his own words and tried again. “Yes, Jon, I’d love that.” Martin moved to hug Jon, a gesture Jon eagerly accepted, relishing the warm arms encircling him and the feel of Martin’s chin resting on the crown of his head. As they pulled away, Martin’s eyes flitted across Jon’s face and the hand around his back moved, cautiously, to rest on the side of Jon’s neck.

“I…I don’t want to presume,” Martin said quietly, and Jon was distinctly aware of how empty, how big, the station was. “Is it okay if I kiss your cheek?”

Jon blinked rapidly, nodding wordlessly, before clearing his throat. “Ah, um, yes. Please.”

Martin’s smile was soft as he pressed his lips to the apex of Jon’s cheekbone, almost into his hairline. Jon was sure the blush that rose across his face this time certainly couldn’t be explained away by the snow, but he honestly wasn’t really sure he cared.

[fearforthestorm]

#someone please ask about clovers story

i am asking and you shall tell

ok so Clover is the protagonist of the fiction podcast concept that I've been rotating since. oh god probably a solid two years now? there's not a lot that I have actually written or even just worked out of it, but the concept was a space/sci-fi about this young adult who was trying very hard to run from a tragic past. I think what I had tentatively settled on was that the small planet they'd grown up on ended up drained and destroyed for the sake of profit, and because of how corporations work, everyone who lived there ended up stranded as the place basically burned around them. Clover managed to leave and hasn't stopped moving since - not running, necessarily, towards anything, just away, in hopes that physical distance will help them put that trauma behind them.

so they run. and they keep running. only stay in one place for as long as it takes to make enough money to get to the next. until, at one point, there's a small planet where there's an abandoned lighthouse, a relic of an older era of space travel.

Clover stays in the lighthouse for a few days, because it's easier than renting a room. They find a diary, maybe, or something else, and they stay another day out of curiosity. dust a few windows, wipe down some counters, stay another day to keep cleaning the place up, because it's not much but it's the first work they've done in so long that feels like it means anything.

they keep finding excuses to stay. they take in a stray cat. at first they avoid making any connections, but eventually they start talking with the other townsfolk, make a few friends. and, slowly, they keep fixing up the lighthouse, and they realise they want to stay.

it's a story about healing!! every time I think about it I cry and that's the reason that I haven't actually written or produced it yet lmao. if you want I can go find the little snippet I wrote and sent to a friend on discord. again there's not like...a ton that I have properly fleshed out about the world or any characters other than Clover themself. but yeah it's a story and a character that I hold very close to my heart!! thanks for asking and for giving me a chance to ramble about them :D

[spookykestrel]

Hello!! Hi!!

New about me post because idk the old one was long.

If you follow me for dsmp there’s more content about it on my side blog :) (below)

Pls send asks pls I really love talking to people about anything ever I will answer your silliest questions and listen to your day

I block empty blogs — reblog shit, add a bio, etc. if you don’t have content I assume you are spam!

My hobbies/interests: drawing, writing, textile arts, animated tv shows, music, fiction podcasts, mcyt, animal science (birds, marine life, bugs, pets, etc), driving with my windows down, hot drinks

My favorite music: lovejoy, the happy fits, dodie

Talk to me about: dogs and dog breeds (actually pls though this is the only thing I know about) and music and also my cats (I have so many)

- - -

I have 2 active side blogs!

Check out kestrels-nook for content involving my many fandom related nterests such as: MCYT (the main content), Luca, TOH, and The Bright Sessions

Follow just-kestrel or as much bird related content as you please

I like and follow from my main account (this account).

I also have a secret third blog with my writing and stuff that you’ll never find >:)

- - -

- #suggestive is my tag for posts that may be slightly uncomfy like sexual stuff but nothing on my blog is too graphic (as I am sex repulsed asexual :D )

- If I post or reblog something venty at all it will be tagged with #negative, #vent, and/or #rant please please block those if by some chance I decide to post something like that (rarely)

- please do not be afraid to ask me to tag a trigger! I often find myself wondering how to tag something or if I should so if you see something that needs a tw let me know right away!!

- - -

I try to avoid negativity, politics, news, financial and money related posts on my blog just because sometimes you need a break from all the depressing stuff in the world. its not because I don’t CARE, it’s because I’m trying to keep my blog lighthearted. If I do reblog something political or whatever it’s because I’ve deemed it absolutely important for everyone to know. If you disagree with me then…ok.

- - -

Mutuals feel free to ask for my discord :))

- - -

[inevitably-johnlocked]

People complaining about 'queer baiting' when they ought to be more concerned about the amount of fetishisation that occurs when people ship two men lol

Hey Nonny,

I’m gonna assume you’re not trying to be a dick, and are coming from a good place, though you taking the time out to put this ask in a weird serif font is leaving me wondering if you’re trying to stand on a soapbox, but I’m going to ignore that for now, and I ask anyone replying to this post to please also grant that same respect. I only wish to educate, learn, and interact, after all. 

I get what you’re trying to say re: queerbaiting, I really do. And fetishization is a problem, I agree. 

Let’s tackle the queerbaiting first.

Let it be known to you that a large majority of the people calling “queerbaiting” are queer people and academics. I know the false stigma that “fandom is full of stupid little girls” still exists and is something that, quite frankly, this ask is implying and therefore helping to perpetuate. It’s not. Honestly, with this take you have here, you’re disregarding and invalidating the feelings of millions of other queer people who genuinely feel when something is queerbaiting because it’s something they have experienced over and over and OVER again and media just “LOL OOPS SORRY WON’T DO IT AGAIN”. 

Disney is a perfect example of this. How many “first LGBT characters” has Disney had now? At least one a year for the past decade.

Listen, the people who initially called it out years ago for Sherlock were older folks who have lived decades of media constantly teasing gay relationships and then not following through with it at the end... literally “baiting” queer people to watch their shows because more people = more money.

Anyway, Gattiss confirmed he used homoerotic subtext to bait people, so I don’t know what else to say on this matter. That link also has some additional articles and sources that came out regarding the queerbaiting aspect of Sherlock, and they’re all good reads, so I do recommend checking them out.

Some other interesting reads, if only so you can gain some empathy for the others who DO see it as queerbaiting:

Gender and Queer Fan Labour on Tumblr: The Case of BBC’s Sherlock (Webarchive link, so give it a few to load)

The Elephant in the Room: Authorship, Queerbaiting and Sherlock

Queerbaiting in Sherlock 

PODCAST: Queerbaiting in Sherlock

From Queer Reading to Queerbaiting - DiVA Portal

And as I’ve mentioned in past posts, I personally believe Sherlock IS queerrbaiting WITHOUT a confirmation in S5. They had the chance to stop it in S3, and instead they ramped it up. And yes, if you only watch Sherlock and omit S3 and TAB completely, I can see the queerbaiting argument null and void. But instead they made the episode that John was supposed to be getting married the gayest episode in the whole series, next to TAB. So I dunno, my friend.

Now, I shall discuss the very thin line of fetishization vs shipping.

I am not a professional AND I am a fairly recently-realized member of the LGBT community, so I don’t feel it’s my place to tell you what’s what. 

There’s a really interesting Tumblr post by LGBT+ Weekly about this very thing that I think offers a “both sides” approach: Shipping and queer fetishization. And this interesting and on-point post here: About Fandom, Slash, and Fetishizing Gay Men.

From here, I can only offer my opinion, not fact, and I am open to being educated. 

Yes, absolutely some people fetishize LGBT relationships. I’m NOT going to say there aren’t. But a majority of people ship ANY ship because it helps them understand themselves. It’s just that simple, and to tell someone that them shipping characters is bad / no good / fetishization can be harmful to them and make them fear “being gay”. Shipping characters is a way of disconnecting themselves from, well, themselves, and it’s a “safe place” to “come out” or discover themselves.

To me, you’re breaking down fetishization as “I like reading about two people fucking” and nothing beyond that, and not taking into account that many people like a pairing because of chemistry, or because someone sees themselves in a character and are exploring their own sexuality through it. If that’s the case, then I guess all M/F ships are are fetishizations? Why is it only M/M that people decry “fetishization”, when F/F is apparently not (clarification: it totally can also be)? So, is me liking Johnlock any different than my Zutara ship? Why? 

Plus, the reason so many people ship M/M ships is because there’s just SO MANY MALE CHARACTERS ON ANY GIVEN SHOW. 

I get what you’re trying to say, Nonny, I really do. And I know the definition of fetish. But AGAIN, these are characters, not real people, and you’re disregarding other aspects of shipping. Not everyone reads smut to get off. And even if they did, why is that so bad for some people? Personally, I read it because I enjoy reading stories about my favourite characters enjoying being together. I enjoy the dynamic, the possibilities, the chemistry and the love. That it’s never too late to find your person. That two broken souls can help heal each other.

Anyway, TL;DR of all this is: 

YOUR experience is NOT someone else’s experience. 

You didn’t see Sherlock as queerbaiting? Fine, but please understand there’s a reason so many other people DO and it’s not just fandom saying it. The general audience also has said it’s queerbaiting.

You see shipping as fetishization? Okay, and that’s fine. Your definition of fetishization means fictional people having sex, I guess. Maybe I’m just genuinely naïve, but... isn’t that kind of... TERF-y or homophobic? I mean... many people use same-sex shipping and assorted headcanons to help them understand themselves and their sexuality. And why is M/F shipping NOT fetishization, given the broad definition you’re implying by your ask? And I don’t want to get too deep into asexuality, but read up on aegosexuality. Are you then saying aces are fetishists too? Seems like aces can’t enjoy anything, I guess.

They’re fictional characters. Not real people.

Look, I’m stupid and naïve, I get that. And if I have the wrong take here, I’m genuinely interested in hearing your respectful thoughts, along with other people’s. Just, please respect and understand that everyone is not YOU. It’s rather selfish to think that your experiences are everyone else’s, if I’m being honest.

I’m not asking for you to “see my side of things”, just to have a bit of empathy, is all. It can go a long way in a world where just being who you are can get you killed. Fandom and shipping is an escape for a lot of people, because reality is a cruel son of a bitch.

All this said, Nonny, I just want you to be safe and healthy. If discussions of shipping and queerbaiting bother you, please black list the tags, get out of fandom, and please take care of yourself.

[humourharry]

Hello.

Travis don’t read this.

Some of you are about to be real mad at me. But it must be said. It probably doesn’t need to be said, but it’s my blog and I don’t care.

I am honestly so disappointed about how just bad mbmbam has gotten recently. I stopped listening over a year ago because it was just too cringy but I started up again because I really needed some content to listen to. I figured I would be able to find at least a couple of minutes of listenable content within the 530+ episodes of this show.

Travis just ruins every single one. He fills up any single miniscule pause or moment of dead air with drivel. Whatever useless thought that pops into his head gets spewed out onto his brothers. All of his scenarios and fictions he creates necessitate some longwinded backstory for almost no payoff. And listen, it’s a comedy podcast. So the goal should be comedy. I see what he was going for with “Play Along at Home,” and I see that the comedic value in the bit was Griffin and Justins’ fury. Like, it was funny to ask Griff questions about Disney and ask Justin questions about Pokemon. But the anti-comedy approach can’t be one of the three hosts’ only contribution to the podcast. It is poison to my ears. I have never had the misfortune of hearing a Sad Libs. (In a recent live show, Griffin mentioned during the ad read that he had edited a Sad Libs out to spare the listener that tremendous burden. That comment was certainly a joke or a lighthearted jab at his brother but honestly, thank you Griffin.)

What kills me is Travis’s ability to completely obliterate the momentum of the show. Griffin and Justin will be riffing, building off each other, having good time. Then Travis will jump in with something as irrelevant as “haha yeah! and what if they were on the moon!” or something similarly asinine.

You just can’t justify it as “middle brother energy,” or “he has ADHD, of course you can’t follow his train of thought!”

It is a comedy podcast. If one of the hosts is petulant and attention seeking, it is going to be a bad time for everyone. If one of the hosts gets distracted and derailed, it is going to be a bad time. Perhaps his birth order or his ADHD are his reasons for his behavior but whatever the justification may be, this behavior just doesn’t make for good content. And that’s all I wanted, some good content. It truly is a shame that what once was a decent show has been ruined by 1/3 of the hosts being “anti-comedy.” What?

Another thing he does (that is often attributed to his ADHD) is interrupt. They all interrupt each other and talk over each other, but Travis’s interjections are never for the purpose of moving the bit along. He will interrupt someone’s train of thought to say “ [sjw disclaimer] just so no one calls us out on twitter....” or “just to be clear, we are NOT kinkshaming...” Travis has made it clear he wants to be the Ally Of All Allies, and he would never even dream of saying anything remotely shitty to any marginalized group of people. Sure. But his performative allyship is ruining his own show. I understand that listeners or content-enjoyers mustn’t ever try to shut down people who are only trying to increase the stock of harmless cheer in the world, but there is a limit. We don’t need every single joke about furries or whatever to be bookended with Travis’s “not that there’s anything wrong with thaaaAAAaaat....” whine.

Speaking of whining... I truly cannot stand to listen to the sound of Travis’s voice. This is my own personal problem. Sometimes I find the sounds of peoples’ voices so grating that it drives me up a wall. But beyond Travis’s baseline nasally voice and accent, he often launches into this very high pitched voice when he is trying to interject. (I’m not even talking about the Riddle Master). In Episode 536 he turned into a full-on squeal when talking to Griffin. Other times he is full-on shouting! Like I have to turn the volume down on my phone because he is fully shouting. Justin has begun doing something that I appreciate: if Travis is literally screaming into the microphone, Justin will get really quiet. He does this humorous, tongue-in-cheek sultry voice that is very soft. And it causes Travis to quiet down. But when Travis is left to do whatever he wants, he will become extremely loud while contributing almost nothing of substance. It can be really painful to listen to Griffin and Justin trying to move to show along or just power through one of Travis’s meaningless tangents. It would be bad enough for Travis to be so poisonously unfunny and annoying at a normal volume, but the the fact that he steamrolls everyone else at an intense volume and in an effeminate affect (nOT tHaT tHEreS aNYthiNG wRonG wiTH tHaT) and a nasally voice drives me nuts.

I am not the only person to notice these things. The reviews on Apple Podcasts are mostly positive. The only negative reviews are from people who didn’t like that the mcelroys were encouraging people to vote (these reviews were saying the show was getting “too political,” with the boys simply reminding people not to be fascists) and the rest are from people who insist that Justin and Griffin need to reign Travis in. I hope they are able to have a conversation with him in private. I know that TAZ Graduation has its own set of problems, but I’m afraid that their listenership is just going to decline further and further if no one talks to Travis about his tangents and deliberately unfunny bits. I have given them so many chances and I just can’t do it. I’m afraid that others might not be so generous.

Bye!