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pearl-blue-musings · 4 months ago

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Unforgettable Ch.9

*pokes head out from hiding* heyyyy, hey. How y’all doin??? I know it’s been a HOT HOT minute since I updated this but yeaaahhhhhhhhhh

Pairing: Dabi/Touya Todoroki x fem!reader x Hawks/Keigo Takami

A/N: universe altered, 18+, somewhat follows canon, slightly unrequited feelings, miscommunication, words are hard

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.2K

The cold months began to transition to spring and life seemed to have slowed to its usual pace. The pace of life before Dabi had entered and turned it on its head. Before your feelings for either men had interfered and made a mess of things. Hawks returned to being a double agent and fooling the league while you returned to your job at the hero commission and were still being restrained and watched. It was almost impossible for you to go anywhere without it being approved by the higher ups, something you and Keigo fought against hard but lost out. The secret of your previous relationship remained a secret but the feelings lingered on. How the world expected you to forget something so unforgettable was beyond your scope of reasoning.

Occasionally, small gatherings of blue flowers would appear on your balcony. Somewhere in the back of your mind there’s a metaphor here, in how you would let them all be crumpled by the snow. The petals get the nourishment they need despite being crushed by the weight of nostalgic appearing snow. You can’t bear to look at it, shutting your blinds closed and never wanting to look at the balcony again. It’s not like Hawks was stopping by anymore, he was on missions being undercover; you were also given orders to cease all contact with him whilst he’s with the League.

Those orders weren’t followed completely when the HSPC president was killed.

The attack on the headquarters was a precursor to what was to come from the Paranormal Liberation Front, indicating that they wouldn't be knocked down or taken too lightly. You had just barely escaped death as the enemy analyzed you as not a threat to them. So they incapacitated you for a time, knocking you unconscious as they started to take down hero society from within. All Hawks could do was watch from their headquarters.

The facade he puts on for them as they cheer over the news doesn’t crack as the camera pans over to your crumpled body. He stealthily releases a feather based on the coordinates seen to check in on you. His heart rate skyrockets as members of the liberation army ask him about the president and what life was like. Keigo briefly goes into the program and how he was raised, but leaves you out of it. When he finally has a moment alone, he cracks slightly as his heart burns, melting away the icy exterior he needs to survive the mission.

Dabi kept an eye on Hawks for this entire thing. He didn’t want to admit it, but when the camera went over to where you were lying on the ground he wanted to burn the screen. He specifically told them to leave you out of it. He’s going to give whoever laid a finger on you a searing scar. Dabi may want to kill his brother, but he would never let any harm come to you. You, you have a special relationship with him. And he’s sure that if anything were to ruin what he has, or had, with you it might break more of his resolve. Break him more than he already is.

So of course when Hawks brought up that the two of you have been forced to interact less, he was crazy ecstatic and torn. Hearing that convinced him even more that Keigo is clearly undercover. He doesn’t want to break Twice’s heart, so maybe some truths should be left unsaid.

Too many days Touya stares at your phone number until the first major battle of the war begins. Even as he practices what he’s going to say upon meeting his father and youngest brother, he wants to run his words and methodology by you. You wouldn’t think he’s crazy, right? You’ve always cared for him, as Touya and as Dabi. He wants, no needs you to understand where he’s coming from. He has to see you one last time. Dabi doesn’t care that you haven’t taken any of his flowers; at least his mother did. But you’re different. You’re you.

And that’s why he’s scaling the wall of your apartment building with the help of Twice to see you one last time as Dabi.

****

You’re startled by the sound of flesh and bone rapping against your balcony door. It’s been a couple of months since you’ve cut off communication with Dabi and you fear that he may be outside. You’ve started to lock your balcony door, not even wanting to be safe from Hawks. After you called the villains name during your lovemaking session his presence has been scarce. The tears you’ve shed for these two opposing men could fill a river and that hurts your heart more than you’d like to admit. Your heart beats like a kick drum trying to break the sound barrier at the mere possibility it could be either man. Securing the blanket around your frame, you hesitantly open the latch of the sliding door with eyes shut tight.

“Heh, am I really that awful to look at?”

You weren’t sure what you expected, but the rumbling of Dabi’s voice rings clear in your ears. On instinct, you bring him into a hug and his arms immediately wrap around your body. As angry as you are at him, something about him feels too familiar, too much like home. You almost miss the way he tightens his grip on you as you walk inside together. The motion is practiced as if the two of you hadn’t missed a beat these last few months. He still smells a little smoky and sultry as you breathe him in. He’s the first to break the silence, “I’ve missed you.”

You look up at him from the hug, tears coming to your eyes freely. Dabi’s eyes soften slightly at your sorrowful expression. “What’s that look for, pipsqueak?” You hadn’t realized you were crying until he wiped away a tear.

The words die in your throat as you finally gaze up into his striking blue eyes. There’s something hidden behind them, some sort of finality and strength you hadn’t seen before. “You came here to tell me something. What is it?”

Touya had always hated how perceptive you were to his thoughts and emotions. And this time was no different. He sighs deeply before bringing you to the couch in practiced steps, your knees touching his as you two sink into the cushions. Dabi lets go of your hands and interlocks his fingers under his chin. “Tomorrow,” his voice rumbles with a start, “the League, well the paranormal liberation front is going to attack.”

You sigh and cross your legs and arms together. “I may be on a set schedule because of my quirk but even I know that,” you retaliate. Dabi chuckles at your retort before he pushes himself up on his knees. Your eyes follow his movement as he stands in front of your television. “W-what is it, Dabi?”

He bends down and moves the coffee table out of the way, being eye level with you. “Look me in the eye sweetheart.” You shut your lids tightly, taking a breath before you stare in his eyes fully. Your heart skips a beat and a gasp escapes your lips. It can’t be, there’s no way. You had wanted to deny it the whole time but right now… “You know who I am, don’t you?” His lips are now dangerously close to yours and you can feel his warm and shaky breath fan your own. Your lip trembles and your tongue jots out to moisten them.

You quickly shake your head. “He’s dead. T-they told me you died…Keigo and I, we thought that…”

He presses his forehead against yours and gently cups your face. “Say my name.”

Hesitation overcomes you as the truth is blatantly in front of you. “T-Touya,” your voice breaks as his name finally leaves your lips after so many years. Touya softly digs his fingers into your cheek as he releases the tension in his back. How long has it been since he’s heard you say his name? How many nights has he wanted to hear his true name fall effortlessly from your lips, coating his senses in lush ecstasy. “I, I had a feeling it was you. You have the same eyes. But, but I thought I was remembering wrong a-and with the HSPC rewriting my memories I thought-” He silences your rambling with a kiss and you find yourself melting into it. How long has it been since you’ve felt his lips? How long has it been since you’ve felt his adoring and alluring touch? You want to melt into him, but you cut the kiss short.

You breathe heavily and whisper, “Keigo…”

“Whispering another man’s name?”

You shake your head. “No, he…he thought it was you, too. I had a feeling because you felt so familiar.” A finger traces along his cheek as the metal of the staples practically sting your fingertips. Tears start to fall freely down your cheeks. “You’re alive,” you cry, “for years we thought you were dead. Wh-what happened?”

Touya gently wipes at your cheek and takes your hands in his. “That’s a story for another day. But I need to tell you about tomorrow. I’m exposing the hero life for how shitty it is. My father, the number one hero will fall socially and hopefully in battle. I need to ask you a very important question.

“Will you join me in taking down my father? What good has hero society done for you? Lock you up, prevent you from using your quirk to the fullest, making Keigo a soldier? We’re going to tear it down, starting with my father. Join me, and I promise I won’t hurt Hawks too much.”

“I-”

At that moment your phone rings. The caller ID flashes that it’s the man in question. You swallow a lump; of all the times to finally have some social interaction. You sigh deeply and pick up the phone, motioning to Dabi to stay silent.

“Hey,” you start hesitantly.

“Baby bird listen. I’m sorry I’ve been going radio silent on you these last couple of months.” You can hear him huff on the other line in a hushed tone. He still must be undercover, you think. Your gaze drags over toward Touya who smiles cynically and comes to hug you from behind. The brush of warm metal on your neck sends a shiver down your spine. Is he really trying to do this right now? With Keigo on the phone??

“I-I know,” you gasp out, “I’ve been avoiding you, too. Look Kei, I’m sorry for what I said.”

Touya pinches your side in curiosity and you try to wave him off. You try to weasel your way out of his grasp to finish your conversation but he’s got you in a vice grip. “I know you’ve stopped by to check in on me.”

Hawks chuckles and his tenor voice sends the butterflies in your stomach fluttering. “Even when I’m undercover, you can still figure me out.” The sound of his wings flapping in the distance stuns you. You want to ask him where he is but with your current company trying to make you break, you keep it to yourself. “Dove, this is serious. I need you to listen to me.” Your voice goes dry at his sudden change in tone and you stand up at the seriousness.

“What’s going on?”

“Tomorrow, something huge is going down.” You immediately turn to Touya with wide eyes. Hawks continues, “it’s calling for all hands on deck. We’re even using the students of U.A. to help us out because we’re so short staffed.” The wind passing in the back lets you know he’s on a rooftop to contemplate things over that’s out of public view. You wait with bated breath for him to finish. “This might be one of the hardest battles we’ve been part of. Heroes, villains, all of that can change so suddenly.” You feel your heartbeat rising in volume and tempo the more he talks to you. Your free hand fiddles the hem of your shirt and Touya is quick to take it in his, his warmth calming you down.

Your voice comes out barely above a whisper. “What are you saying?”

You hear a sigh and a groan before you hear his voice again. “We need you. I can show you the layout of the different bases and you can guide the heroes to apprehend the bad guys.” Dabi tightens his hold on your hand and you hiss in pain. “You okay?” You slap Dabi’s hand away and he smacks your ass in retaliation.

“Mhm I’m fine! Just stubbed my toe is all.”

“My clumsy girl,” Keigo chuckles, “what am I to do with you?” Behind you Dabi growls at the possessive remark, curling in on himself. “But, what do you say pretty bird? Help us stop the villains and All For One in their tracks?”

The question hangs in the air and you’re sure Touya heard it. He stands up to approach you again, taking your hand in his. “So,” he grumbles out…

“What’s it gonna be?”

Taglist: @luluwiie @kiribaku-queen @shinsouskitten @kacchaneatsass @omegaverse-musings @sssjuico10 @zefrenchturtle @isimp4hawkz @waffleareniceandfluffy @kunaigirlx44

#unforgettable #dabi x reader #dabi x female reader #dabi x reader x hawks #dabihawks x reader #touya todoroki #touya todoroki x reader #hawks x reader #hawks x female reader #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #Keigo Takami x fem!reader #hawks x reader x dabi #hawks x dabi #my writing #i did the thing

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milliesfishes · 1 month ago

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౨ৎTBOSAS Notes (Ch 1-7)꣑ৎ

Is a bit long I'm sorry hehe (also a some of the things I wrote down are potentially to remember for later for connections)

꣑ৎ he cries over the picture books oh baby :(

꣑ৎ Interesting that his family was slave in a way to the wealthy with Tigris's situation

꣑ৎ "His mind could fixate on a problem like that- anything really- and not let go. As if controlling one element of his world would keep him from ruin. It was a bad habit that blinded him to other things that could harm him." His anxiety is so heartbreaking to me especially in his current situation. I think this is part of what drew me to the character- the painful relatability and anger at yourself for having it to begin with :(

꣑ৎ "He loved her but she'd lost touch with reality years ago." Love the choice to have a character who represents what once was through Grandma'am. Coryo always has a reminder of the past through her and it is amplified because she's family.

꣑ৎ His family saying he'd be president someday...it's an obvious foreshadowing but it brings new light to his destiny and his goals, even if he disregarded it at first.

꣑ৎ Pressure on him as the last son- he has so much responsibility on him and he's so young oh poor baby. His mindset really shows how determined he is to fix everything and there's definitely a man of the house mentality in that.

꣑ৎ Tired of people saying he never loved Tigris- he absolutely did. The way he asks about the shirt details because he knows she wants to talk about it and listens to her and looks to her for guidance...he did love her a lot and that makes her future so much more heartbreaking.

꣑ৎ "...his only real currency was charm..."

꣑ৎ There's such an interesting connection between the Plinths and the Snows- both made their money through investments but one thrived off the others failure unintentionally. Coryo's feelings toward Sejanus would be more justifiable if he'd never met him. Still, it's understandable to have some bitterness because Sejanus brushes off his place while Coryo would give anything to be in it.

꣑ৎ Part of the reason Coryo is drawn to Lucy Gray at first is because her dress reminds him of pre-war times :( which incidentally end up being times they both long for, when they had parents.

꣑ৎ Sejanus was the first one to catch that the Reaping was rigged for Lucy Gray

꣑ৎ Coryo's relationship with food is nawwt talked about enough (I will probably have more to say about it as I read further). And the connection of wartime rationing to the name of the Hunger Games is SO GOOD. "Amid the violence of the Games, there was a silent agony that everyone in Panem had experienced, the desperation for enough sustenance to bring you to the following sunrise." OHHHHH

꣑ৎ Dean Highbottom calling him out in public...and with Coryo's preoccupation with status...his grudge against Coryo is so unreasonable. And in the end one could say that he turned out to be right but maybe if he'd never had the grudge things wouldn't have ended how they did. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy in a way.

꣑ৎ "Everyone knew what happened if you went to the districts. You were written off. Forgotten. In the eyes of the Capitol you were basically dead." Oh the foreshadowing

꣑ৎ Talking about the gamemaker in training (more foreshadowing) "...paid just enough and provided a stepping-stone to the future."

꣑ৎ Connects the train whistle signaling Lucy Gray's arrival to his father's death. Interesting when at the end of this story, he is essentially rebirthed more alike to his father.

꣑ৎ "He again had the impression that he was witnessing a performance, but a private one this time." Oh Lucy Gray the woman you are

꣑ৎ He goes to catch up with her when he thinks she might think he’s useless 😭😭loser I love him (and he doesn’t want her to think he’s a coward hehe)

꣑ৎ “Didn’t they have jobs? Shouldn’t the children be in school? No wonder the country was such a mess.” I love him 😭

꣑ৎ In a way she teaches him to perform as she does

꣑ৎ Love the Roman origin of so many of these names

꣑ৎ “People were easy to manipulate when it came to their children.” Hunger Games tribute reasoning as well

꣑ৎ I love that he loved the fluffy white cat oh 😭

꣑ৎ There’s something about how he wins Gaul over by finishing a children’s rhyme…stay tuned

꣑ৎ The contrast between how Sejanus brushes off the press after feeding tributes and how Coryo caters to them…

꣑ৎ It’s so interesting how Lucy Gray takes the things she says and weaves them into her songs word for word

꣑ৎ Interesting how Lucy Gray refuses to be associated with District Twelve, making her even more mysterious in the decades to follow

꣑ৎ Her song reminding him of his mother :((

꣑ৎ Sejanus’ empathy and defiance against the games is truly unmatched- he’s the only one unafraid to go all the way and openly defy authority. But his family’s money probably also gives him more room to do so whether he realizes it or not.

꣑ৎ Coriolanus keeps Lucy Gray both because he wants to spite Sejanus and because if she wins it would make him look better…hmm

꣑ৎ It’s hard for him to talk about his mother still oh :((

꣑ৎ Interesting how Gaul encourages Sejanus to share his opposing views openly in class

꣑ৎ Coryo hating group projects is the realest thing

꣑ৎ “Sure would have been nice to meet you under different circumstances.” :((

꣑ৎ Coryo in these chapters is hard for me not to relate to because he’s just so anxious. He’s definitely a product of his circumstances- the post-war obsession with status and appearance really got to him.

꣑ৎ Arachne’s death is a sort of turning point- he was so young with his mother and father. But his reaction was intriguing- he cried over it and thought about it quite a bit but I think even though this death is different he’s very desensitized to it.

꣑ৎ He hates Livia so much it’s kinda funny

꣑ৎ Interesting that he’s being praised for what Lucy Gray urged him to do- go to Arachne and try to save her. That probably draws him to Lucy Gray even more and helps him start to trust her.

꣑ৎ He feels safer underground- nothing can get to him...District 13 being underground...eventually destroys him...ohhh

꣑ৎ Also on that note District 13 was associated with his downfall two times in his life. With his family's fortunes and with he himself.

꣑ৎ Gaul being associated with nearly killing one of his closest friends- keep it in mind.

If you read this far I love you and I’m sorry this got so wordy hehe 🫶🫶🫶

#coriolanus snow #milliesfishes coryo #tbosas #tbosas notes #president snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg tbosas #millie reads: tbosas

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zhengzi · 1 year ago

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JTTW - Ch. 1

The divine root conceives, its source revealed; Mind and nature nurtured, the Great Dao is born

Finally got around to gathering my thoughts and impressions of the first chapter. Really enjoying how accessible the translation is yet still preserves the qualities of the original text. I've written down some notes of my initial impressions which I'll put under a read more.

Disclaimer: i am diasporan chinese but i haven't received formal schooling in chinese culture and history, so most of my knowledge mostly comes from my upbringing and whatever family has shared with me. I have passing familiarity with much of the concepts and history in the text but I'm not very well read on them so please do take my impressions with a grain of salt

The chapter starts with the formation of the universe which was rendered in a cycle of chaos/destruction and then creation/order through twelve epochs. In the Zi epoch, heaven was created first through the creation of the sun, moon, stars and heavenly bodies. The yin yang principle came into the Chou epoch, which was also when the Earth was formed. In the Yin epoch, both the heavens and earth copulated and all things were born, from which the three forces of Heaven, Earth and Man were established.

The beginning of the chapter lays out a Daoist conception of the world through yin yang and the formation of the heavens and earth.

Later, we’re introduced to a monkey who was born from a stone that had the seeds of heaven and earth combined. After the monkey bowed to the four quarters, beams of light shone from his eyes that disturbed the heavens.

This part keys us into the nature of the monkey as being born of both Heaven and Earth. In Chinese culture, our conception of the Heavens is it functions as a bureaucracy and often serves as a symbolic stand in for the imperial bureaucracy. While the Earth stands in for the masses and communities that the imperial bureaucracy presided over. Having already been familiar with the first half of the novels due to having watched adaptations, the lights from the monkey’s eyes disturbing the heavens foreshadows his disruption of heavenly affairs in later chapters.

As the stone-monkey eats, communes with his monkey friends and makes friends with other animals, he demonstrates a connection to the Earth and the desires that are attached to the Earth. Soon, the monkeys discover a waterfall where the stone-monkey discovers an enclave of Heaven-sent property where the monkeys could go live and be spared from the whims and influence of the Heavens.

A retreat from the wind, A shelter from the rain. You fear no frost or snow; You hear no thunderclap. Mist and smoke are brightened, Warmed by a holy light- The pines are evergreen: Rare flowers, daily new:

The stone-monkey announces that because he was able to come in and go out of the enclave without hurting himself, he should be honoured as king.

If we were to understand the Heavens as bureaucracy and the Earth as the people below, the stone-monkey being born of both implies that he’s a combination. Looking at imperial Chinese society, one can recall that someone being born of both heaven and earth could be the mandarin officials that make up the gentry in the imperial bureaucracy but are selected from the common people through the imperial examination.

The stone-monkey eventually does away with the stone in his name to become the Handsome Monkey King. He then appoints gibbons and baboons to be his ministers and officers. “Living in concord and sympathy, they did not mingle with bird or beast but enjoyed their independence in perfect happiness.” Their main activities were described as being solely focused on food and drinks.

When you view the monkey as a mandarin official, the allegory in this scene implies the corrupted nature of mandarin officials in primarily enjoying their gentry lives rather than serving for the common people below them.

After several hundred years of this existence, the monkey king one day grew sad. When asked why, he states that although they were free from Heavenly rule or free from rulers of mankind, he worries about the threat of old age and physical decay, in essence, death in the future. “If we die, shall we not have lived in vain, not being able to rank forever among the Heavenly beings?" Another monkey leapt forth to say that there are three species of living creatures that are not subjected to death, the Buddhas, the immortals and the holy sages. Upon learning this, the monkey king announces that he would leave them all tomorrow in search of immortality from these beings.

In Chinese culture, longevity and immortality are auspicious concepts. The first emperor to unite China, Qin Shi Huang, was known for constantly seeking the key to immortality. If Western alchemy’s goal was to find the Philosopher’s Stone, then the goal of Chinese alchemy was to find the key to immortality. Within the Chinese cultural preoccupation with immortality is an anxiety towards death. This theme will likely continue throughout the rest of the story as it will figure heavily in the monkey king’s journey and his motivations.

Once he sets out on his journey and mingle among humans, he notes that nobody was as preoccupied with his concerns about mortality. “He saw, however, that the people of the world were all seekers after profit and fame; there was not one who showed concern for his appointed end.” This is further expanded in a verse: When will end this quest for fortune and fame, This tyrant of early rising and retiring late? Riding on mules they long for noble steeds; By now prime ministers, they hope to be kings. For food and raiment they suffer stress and strain, Never fearing Yama's call to reckoning. Seeking wealth and power to give to sons of sons, There's not one ever willing to tum back.

It illustrates that the common people are preoccupied with material wealth or social status, concerned more so with their present reality rather than their future & mortality.

The monkey king later encounters a woodcutter, mistaking him for an immortal. Monkey king finds out that the woodcutter is neighbours with an immortal asks why he didn’t follow him in the cultivation of the Way and seek immortality. He replied that due to his obligations to uphold his filial duty, he cannot practice austerities.

The woodcutter shows that the opportunity to pursue cultivation can be marred by one’s previous obligations to their family or material interests, the ability to pursue cultivation requires sacrifice and to free oneself of attachments.

So far, I'm reading the text as political satire as this is the most common reading of the text I've encountered within any engagement I've had with chinese culture and my family. Even though i've enjoyed previous adaptations of JTTW and found them funny, I was still pleasantly surprised by the humour in the text and that it wasn't as dry as I had thought

#jttwdaily #op

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rjzimmerman · 6 months ago

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Excerpt from this story from the New York Times:

In February, the United States did something that it had not done in many years — the country sent more electricity to Canada than it received from its northern neighbor. Then, in March, U.S. electricity exports to Canada climbed even more, reaching their highest level since at least 2010.

The increasing flow of power north is part of a worrying trend for North America: Demand for energy is growing robustly everywhere, but the supply of power — in Canada’s case from giant hydroelectric dams — and the ability to get the energy to where it’s needed are increasingly under strain.

Many energy experts say Canadian hydroelectric plants, which have had to reduce electricity production because of a recent drop in rain and snow, will eventually bounce back. But some industry executives are worried that climate change, which has already been linked to the explosive wildfires in Canada last year, could make it harder to predict when rain and snowfall will return to normal.

“We’ve all got to be humble in the face of more extreme weather,” said Chris O’Riley, president and chief executive of the British Columbia Hydro and Power Authority, which operates hydroelectric dams in western Canada. “We manage from year to year the ups and downs of water, and when we have the downs like we’re having, the lower levels, it’s common for us to import power, and we expect to continue that this year.”

The United States and Canada have long relied on each other because power use tends to peak north of the border during the winter when Canadians use electric heaters, and American electricity use peaks in the summer during air-conditioning season.

The abundance of Canada’s hydroelectric power has been a cornerstone of the trade, providing relatively low-cost renewable energy to California, Oregon, Washington State, New York State and New England.

But the supply-and-demand equation for energy is changing. Demand for electricity in many states has been climbing sharply in summer and winter. Some experts predict that winter electricity demand in the United States could eclipse summer demand by 2050.

At the same time, utilities are increasingly reliant on intermittent resources like solar and wind power. Large hydroelectric plants, once considered a stable source of electricity, have struggled with low reservoirs in California, around Hoover Dam and recently in Canada.

“We are facing real changes in the weather, and we’re finding out in real time how that’s going to affect hydroelectric operations, pretty much across North America,” said Robert McCullough of McCullough Research, a firm based in Portland, Ore., who has been a consultant for corporate customers of Canadian utilities since the 1980s.

#Canada #hydropower #drought

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milenadelgadolaborde · 6 months ago

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Hunger games 2: catching fire: Reaction-Thoughts-Discussion

[BEWARE THE SPOILERS!!!!]

Alright book munchers- we’re back for more heartache and tears with catching fire

Published: 2009 - Spoilers ahead!

Honestly what I remember from this book is the clock design of the arena which was super sick, Finnick obvi, more Peeta (yay), a little too much Gale for my tastes, loathing Snow, and the end (of the movie at least) - Oh and Cinna getting attacked by Savages! Before the game starts

Let’s get munchin!

——

Part 1: the spark

Ch1:

First line: “I clasp the flask between my hands even though the warmth from the tea has long since leached into the frozen air.”

The first book also started out by referencing the cold and a lack of warmth so that’s interesting

“I’m staring into the snakelike eyes of President Snow.”

I already hate this guy but the snakes thing seems like a connection to the title of the newest book - he keeps getting compared to snakes throughout the next scene

—-

Ch2:

“The smell of roses and blood has grown stronger now that only a desk separates us.”

Gods this man is so disturbing

—-

“Whatever problems anyone may have with the Capitol, believe me when I say that if it released its grip on the districts for even a short time, the entire system would collapse.”

Fucking let it then!

“so I flinch when he (Snow) whispers in my ear. “By the way, I know about the kiss.”

Why does he have to be so creepy?!

——

Ch3:

“The smell of blood . . . it was on his (Snow) breath.”

Absolutely disgusting // absolutely revolting

—-

“but underneath all that, I can feel the steadiness that Peeta brings to everything.”

He’s just the best for you girl

——-

Ch4:

“Given all the trouble I’ve caused, I’ve probably guaranteed any child of mine a spot in the Games.”

Awful- it’s gonna be a no from me man

——

“I hadn’t thought about it much, but in the arena at least some of the boys got to keep their body hair whereas none of the girls did.”

I didn’t pick up on this during the first book but I did mention how awful it was that they basically force the tributes into a fashion show before they fight to the death and to think of them actually doing things that would make it harder for the tributes to survive even if it’s something minimal like body hair that protects your skin etc.

like it’s so disturbing bc it’s already awful to have this group of kids killing each other but the people in charge being like “Oh and they have to look hot while they die” It’s so fucking wrong!!!

——-

“As usual, a special platform has been constructed at the bottom of the stage for the families of the dead tributes.”

So not only do these families have to watch their kids get murdered on screen for entertainment but they also months later have to stand in public and congratulate their murderers? Absolutely sickening

——

Ch5:

My poor babies - I want them to get together but not forced together like this

——

Ch6:

“The party, held in the banquet room of President Snow’s mansion, has no equal.”

I hate this man and his fucking opulence

——

“And here in the Capitol they’re vomiting for the pleasure of filling their bellies again and again.”

On top of it all to be presented with all these rich people who have so much to eat that they literally make themselves throw up several times just to keep gorging themselves on food while the districts starve - Unacceptable- honestly unacceptable// I’m surprised there hasn’t been more revolts

——

Ch 7:

I truly understand Gale because it’s not hard to see why he’s pissed at what the capitol has done to them and why he wants to fight back. I think he’s absolutely right.

I also notice though that every interaction Kat has with Gale seems to leave her frantic and panicked when every time she’s with Peeta she seems calmer and a little more at ease.

—-

Ch8:

“Life in District 12 isn’t really so different from life in the arena. At some point, you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever wants you dead.”

——-

Ch9:

“I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine.”

“I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. And then it hits me. They already have.”

———

Part 2: the quell

Ch10:

Ch11:

The threat of constant surveillance is unimaginably exhausting - very big brother

No me gusta

—-

Ah the mystery of the famed District 13

—-

Ch12:

“Whoever devised the Quarter Quell system had prepared for centuries of Hunger Games.”

Absolutely disgusting and awful - gods this series hits my heart and soul // it’s too cruel man

——-

Ch13:

They don’t even let her say goodbye??? This is so twisted!

—-

Ch14:

Ch15:

I already love Johanna and Finnick

——-

“Our new Avox is Darius.”

The cruelty of this Snow guy knows no bounds

——

Ch16:

“As I watch the procession to the City Circle, I think how it’s bad enough that they dress us all up in costumes and parade us through the streets in chariots on a regular year.”

—-

“Johanna Mason is naked again”

😂

——

Katniss making the Seneca Crane dummy = iconic

——

Ch17:

““I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you,” Peeta replies.”

My heart ❤️ No puedo mas

““I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever,” he says.”

——-

“It’s so barbaric, the president turning my bridal gown into my shroud,”

Snow putting Kat in a wedding dress for the interview = evil + atrocious

“Cinna has turned me into a mockingjay.” =iconic

——-

Ch18:

““Maybe I’d think that, too, Caesar,” says Peeta bitterly, “if it weren’t for the baby.””

Le Gasp! This Man!!!! I C O N I C

Always with the interview plot twists! I love him!

—-

“By the time the anthem plays its final strains, all twenty-four of us stand in one unbroken line in what must be the first public show of unity among the districts since the Dark Days.”

Ey Snow, you done fucked up. What exactly were you trying to accomplish with this quell? Like all you did was make ppl more pissed off. Big Yikes

And not him having Kat witness Cinna getting beaten right before she goes up into the arena man - why is he so evil?!

—-

Part 3: the enemy

Ch19: 😬

Ch20:😬😬

Ch21:😬😬😬

Ch22:

““No, wait,” says Finnick. “Let’s do it together. Put our faces right in front of his.””

The fact that this man made me laugh while all this horror is going on ❤️❤️

——

““Tick, tock. This is a clock.””

Iconic design to this arena

—-

Ch23:

Ch24: 😢😢😢

Ch25:

Ch26:

Ch27:

Oh no, not Peeta - omg I don’t remember this // what will they do to him?

Fuck what an ending! Next. Next. Next.

#blogging #bookblog #bookblogger #hunger games series #hunger games #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #suzanne collins #catching fire #booklover #bookish #book quotes #bookblr #book review #book recommendations

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felixravinstills · 7 months ago

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Do you ever think abt how gaul was originally an obstetrician? I’ve never seen in discussed anywhere but that detail chilled me to my core when I read tbosas. sorry this is sooo random but I needed to share that with somebody. Kbye:3

I actually think about this surprisingly a lot! I was so sad that they didn’t include that detail in the movie when she’s stitching up Snow!

It’s actually one of those throwaway lines in the book that really make the character for me! (the other one being Festus Creed dogfighting line)

The way she talks about the parents wanting reassurances about their kids futures and her being unable to give them any (Ch. 16):

To me, her words characterize her as someone who wants certainty and control, and despite all her claims that people are born ruthless and bad, she still needs to influence people to get them to reinforce her own worldview. Confirmation bias.

I just think that it matches so well with her character that what children might face in the future (and possibly shape them) makes her uncomfortable (but maybe I'm reading too much into it).

Also there's something to her talking about this while she's stitching Snow up that really reinforces a kind of creator-creation imagery to me. Like she's waiting to deliver him into the world reborn. Volumnia being the name of Shakespeare's Coriolanus' mother... There's something here that has to be at least partially on-purpose by Suzanne Collins. I'm not just making things up (unlike 90% of this blog).

Anyway, being brought into the world by Gaul of all people does invoke a sense of horror (also lol Snow's internal monologue in that scene). It's why I weaponize it in my Dr. Gaul-Pres. Ravinstill weird dynamic. (I headcanon that despite the Vickers' being the President and by extension his family's personal physicians. Gaul still comes out of obstetrician retirement to help with the births of all of the president's brother's progeny... which obviously includes Felix. I've been putting him through situations in my mind since his literal birth.)

I've mentioned her past as an obstetrician a couple times in my Pres. Ravinstill-centric fics as well. The above headcanon makes a guest appearance in one of them (In Your Image), and I definitely mention it in passing within Ave Atque Vale.

Umm, yeah, so based on the length of this response, I definitely think about her being a former obstetrician a lot!

Thanks, anon! I am always happy to hear anyone's random thoughts on tbosas, although I can't always promise to be as able to engage with them as fully as I have here considering my unique perspective as Ravinstill EnjoyerTM (and General 10th HG Mentor Enjoyer) gives me a strange range of things I have lots of thoughts about.

#anon asks #ask response #abyssal rambles #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #abyssal stuff #dr gaul #volumnia gaul #coriolanus snow #president ravinstill #maximinius ravinstill #the toxic besties #the hunger games #tbosas #thg series

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knockyasocksoff2022 · 1 year ago

Text

Snowstorm

under the cut due to length (1,177 words)

Dazai's P.O.V.

There's a bang and I turn around. It's a branch slapping the window and I watch for a moment as the wind swirls outside snow slowly joining it. I sigh, I'm going to have to walk home in this.

"Everyone!" The president's voice isn't very loud but it's a small office and everyone, including myself, turns to listen to him. Having our attention, he continues, "There is going to be a heavy snowstorm in a few hours. If we stay here we will all be snowed in and unable to leave until the snow can be ploughed. In order to prevent that I am ending working hours early. The snow is falling heavily and quickly, I suggest that you all return to your homes within the hour. If you do not have a car, ask someone to come and pick you up."

Everyone sets into motion immediately, picking up phones and dialling rides, grabbing car keys and within a few minutes I'm the only one not ready to go. I took the bus today because Chuuya is out on important Mafia business and couldn't drive me. The bus station is 7 blocks away and I really, really, really don't want to walk.

No, I am not going to bother Chuuya. I am not going to be a nuisance. I won't. I can't. I promised not to call him while he was working unless I was ill or injured and I am neither so I will walk, and I will be fine.

I walk to the door and get ready to leave, it opens before I even have my hand on the door knob.

"Hey honey." the redhead before me teases, using one of the nicknames he claims to hate so much.

"Ch-Chuuya?" I stutter stupidly, stumbling backwards with surprise.

"Don't freak out mackerel, I'm not the damn king." He teases again, placing an arm around my waist, making sure I don't fall.

"W-what are you doing here? You're supposed to be- I thought you were at work?" I hate the way I'm blushing and stuttering like an idiot. Even after being married to Chuuya for so long I'm still not used to people going out of their way for me. Sure the agency is very nice and all of the members are my friends but I know that I am the least close to everyone in the agency and our relationship is mostly professional.

"Are you kidding? The storm's all over the news. I'm not about to make you take public transit in this weather. The buses and trains have already just shut down."

All I can say is a lame, "Oh."

"Yeah, so come on. My car's just down the street."

"Okay." I know I'm still blushing, touched by the surprise visit.

"And I didn't have time to go back home so I couldn't bring your puffy coat but there are some blankets in the car." He nods disapprovingly to my trench coat.

As we walk out the door, someone grabs my arm. I look over my shoulder and realise everyone else has been watching us, and they seem to have gotten over their shock.

Chuuya's P.O.V.

As I'm about to close the door Glasses man grabs Osamu's arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asks furiously.

"I was just about to ask the same thing."

"You can't take him, the Port Mafia can't have him."

I almost laugh, Osamu chuckles.

"Kunikida, please let go of me." he says calmly, wriggling free of the older man's grip.

He steps back. "What exactly is going on here?"

Osamu's cute shy expression vanishes, replaced with his typical silly demeanour. "My husband is just picking me up, so I don't have to stay snowed in at the office." Then his expression turns slightly colder, more reminiscent of his mafia days. "I suggest you also leave . . . unless you want to get snowed in, that is." Glasses's expression turns to shock, he hears the implicit threat in my husband's voice and words.

"H-h-husband?" he says quietly

I really do laugh this time. "Yup, for 7 years." I look over at Osamu, who's still glaring, "Now if you'll excuse us, we'd like to get home before the storm gets bad. Have a nice afternoon."

As I close the door I see Mr. Glasses expression unfreeze slowly from shock into something that seems to be a mix of fury, confusion and sheer panic. By the time I hear him start to shout we're already in the car. (but I swear I can hear glass breaking as few dogs starting to bark at the raucous)

Osamu's laughing like a maniac beside me and I can't help joining him. "Poor baby, you're going to get an earful when you get back to work."

He just laughs harder, "I know, but . . . his face! It was worth it."

"Totally agree, what do you want for dinner tonight."

"I don't know, I can't think, I can't stop laughing. He's probably exploded by now."

By the time we both stop laughing we're back home.

—

As I make dinner I feel a warm weight settle on my waist and turn around. Osamu has attached himself to me.

"Yes." I say, prompting him to continue because I can tell there's something he wants to ask me.

"Thank you for coming to get me at the office today." I can hear the gratitude and sincerity in his voice and it surprises me. I'd expected him to call me a good dog for rescuing me master or whatever, but not this.

"Of course, I'm a bit upset that you didn't call me though. I got worried, I thought you might;ve tried to walk home by yourself in all the snow. I mean come on, it seems exactly like the type of stupid shit you would do."

"I didn't want to bother you, I could've walked, you didn't have to interrupt your conference for me." He says, I sigh, I really wish he could stop feeling this way. Like every normal kind thing I do is monumental, like something every good person wouldn't do for their significant other. And I hate every single one of the things that made him feel that way.

"Don't. I wanted to come and get you, I'm the one who should feel guilty. I should;ve made sure you had a car today. Annnd," I drag out the 'and', running my free hand through his thick hair, "I was dying in that conference, you hear that, you saved your dog from dying."

He smiles and steals a piece of the food I'm cooking.

"Hey! That was all for food wasn't it!" I tease even though I know it wasn't. "Tch! It'll be done in less than five minutes. OUT! If you're just gonna steal, out!" He runs away with a comical look on his face.

What a day it's been! And there's still Mr Glasses to contend with. I should ask Osamu to record his reaction.

#Soukoku #Relationship reveal #Soukoku relationship reveal #Dazai Osamu #Dazai Chuuya - nee Nakahara #My writing #knockyasocksoff2022's writing #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd

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goldenheartgirl1 · 2 years ago

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Ch.4- Contract Query (TWST Mafia AU)

“Kalim! Don’t get into any trouble!”

“Jamil, it’s just a meeting!”

The bank owner brushed off his partner's concern and smoothed down his single breasted gray suit, the inside of the coat was designed in a gold fabric, a dark leather belt kept his pants close to his form, and in the breast pocket was a ruby colored pocket square and his cufflinks were ruby studs. Kalim wore a peach colored shirt that he straightened out and ran his tanned fingers through his choppy snow colored hair, he double checked his golden curved earrings in the office mirror before marching out confidently of the room. Jamil was checking the cashier tills before the day could start, his eyes narrowed with a lack of amusement as he looked up to the garnet colored ones, the darker haired man scoffed as he closed the last till.

“You say that, but the last time you went out for a simple meeting, I had to call the police to locate you and Silver!”

“We weren’t hurt-”

“I had to pay off lawyers to keep you out of jail! There were two bodies!”

“Jamil,” Kalim pouted a bit, crossing his arms as he commented. “You are too worried, I think I should send you on a vacation soon before your hair turns gray. As I explained, Silver saved my life.”

There was no winning this conversation so Jamil just shook his head with a sigh. “At least keep me updated this time. And don’t forget your insignia!”

Kalim blinked and chuckled as he took the golden viper pin and pinned it to his suit. “Oh right! I knew I was forgetting something. Don’t worry Jamil, this is Riddle we’re talking about, he’ll keep me safe.”

Before Jamil could retort the cheerful bank owner was out the heavy dark wood doors, leaving the dark haired man to tend to the opening of their bank. Once the employees showed and customers started arriving Jamil was able to relax a bit, even more so when he received a picture from Kalim, the bubbly man was standing with Cater and taking a selfie with him outside of the casino. The illumination from the Ayat Al Nur chandeliers left no speck of darkness in the limestone building, polished merbau wood was the fashion for furniture and the main cashier counter where people lined up, all through the building the echoes of heels and chatter filled the air both being intimidating yet genteel. The building itself was three stories, the second floor held the offices and loan departments while downstairs was the main lobby and vault. Walking into the bank the first thing anyone notices is the giant vault that was positioned in the center of the wall behind the bank tellers, the second thing to notice would be the security scanners next to the giant doors that release a silent alarm to the security crew on the third floor. If someone brought in a weapon the security crew are to warn the staff through the computers and security guards would be notified.

No natural light entered the lobby floor from the lack of windows and guards were posted at each corner of the large room, Jamil strolled past the bank tellers who politely spoke with their individual customers before stopping when someone called him over. He arrived at one of the younger tellers and looked to the man behind the counter who looked very sore from their conversation. The lobby was empty at the time, some universal phenomenon always occurs that trouble brews, all customer witnesses seem to vanish. Jamil, the ever so stoic and cordial second man to the bank, asked with the greatest care as he moved the younger teller behind him. “Is there a problem, sir?”

“Yeah, I came here to check my account and talk to someone about loans but he says I don’t have an account.”

Jamil could already see where this was going, almost every day they would see someone that claimed to have an account with a ridiculous amount of money, then if the bank couldn’t find the account they would start a new one with “start-up” money as an apology. The vice president merely nodded and asked for the man’s ID, which he stupidly gave, and worked on looking up his name in the system. Of course, there was no account and he handed the ID back before saying in a deceivingly polite voice.

“Sir, there is no account or record of you with us. Now, for wasting mine and my employees time I request you to leave if you have no further business.”

“That’s bullshit! Let me speak to the loan manager!”

“Sir, I am the loan manager for the day.” Jamil smirked, watching the man get red in the face. “If you insist on making a scene I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

After his warning came, one of the guards moved forward but instead a gunshot went off and the bitter man fell onto the stone floor in his own blood. While the guards pulled their guns out, Jamil looked at the shooter with unamusement, there Azul stood with a satisfied smirk and holstered his gun in his coat. The charcoal eyes rolled in annoyance as he calmed his newer employees down, having the senior employees help clean up the body and to close the bank for a few minutes, the guards slowly holstered their guns upon realizing who held the stainless steel revolver. Azul merely walked around the body while the employees gathered a mop and other supplies, his flint gray eyes didn’t even blink when they met the stern gaze of the vice president, and he commented in a sly manner.

“It’s always so sad when you have such unfortunate souls, isn’t it? They consistently trouble those above them because they never work for their riches.”

Jamil bit his tongue from spitting out an obscenity, looking at the dolphin gray haired man before him, as usual he sported wearing his black fedora and tailored suit that presented him as the powerful business man he was. While most of his henchmen wear a light-purple undershirt and white bow tie, Azul instead wears a white undershirt and a purple bow tie. The double-breasted suit has a purple underlining, a lavender-gray scarf drapes over both his shoulders and under the suit’s lapels, and Azul wears black dress shoes with block heels and silver buckles on the sides. “Let’s go to my office, shall we?”

“Please, lead the way.” Azul replied with a nod and followed the darker toned man, his cane clacked against the stone and his gloved hand was firmly around the dark purple conch handle.

Once arriving at Jamil’s office, he locked the door and closed all the curtains. Azul politely stood there and waited while Jamil prepared the room. The man pushed some loose black hair away from his eyes as he glanced at Azul, motioning to the chair as he spoke. “Have a seat, would you like something to drink?”

“No thank you, we have more pressing matters to discuss.”

“I see, is that why you traumatized my staff members and made my floors all bloody and disgusting?” Jamil asked bitterly while sitting at his desk and looking at the relaxed visitor.

Azul’s devious smile only grew as he waved his left hand nonchalantly. “It’s good for them to experience this violence, it helps them grow stronger. No, I had no intentions on shooting anyone today, but since he was being so ignorant and rude to you and your staff I decided to take over. I think you would call that an act of benevolence.”

“I would call that the act of a mafia man that enjoys breaking the innocence of others.”

Jamil’s eyes narrowed as the smile from his visitor dropped to a more serious expression. “You can call it what you’d like Jamil, but let’s not delay any longer. I am here to see the file of a few people from my gang.”

“You suspect fraud?”

“Perhaps..” Azul muttered, watching Jamil’s fingers as he rapidly typed in his password to the computer and brought up the bank files. “Please look up, Jackson Bently, Omar Shandler, Maria Russo. Are there any peculiar transactions?”

Reading through the files, Jamil took time to see if there was anything hidden, some “strange” transactions would be large sums of money submitted or small consistent sums. After a few minutes Jamil motioned Azul to come over, the man stood from his chair and looked over Jamil’s shoulder to see Jackson’s file. “I notice that your mafia member Jackson has had a consistent income, that I assume is not part of his pay.”

“It’s only 20 thaumarks, but every week he gets his money. That is certainly not from tips or from me.”

Both men were stuck considering they were deposits through a Magicam account, and that system has many firewalls that would be difficult to crack. Then Jamil smiled a little and suggested, glancing up at Azul for a second before turning to his computer. “I think I have a way to lure him here to confess.”

“Oh?” Azul hummed with interest, leaning his right hand on the desk as he watched the man work, then grinned seeing the accounts numbers fall to zero. “I see, I’m sure it won't take him long to call.”

“A call is not good enough,” Jamil muttered, grabbing his phone and calling to the lobby. “Taylor, if a Mr. Jackson Bently calls, please redirect him to me. Yes, thank you.”

Azul made himself comfortable on the burgundy leather chair and watched as Jamil hung up, then spoke with a calm manner. “How long do you think it will take for him to notice?”

“Not long, for our servers if you fall in debt or your account suddenly loses a lot of money, it will automatically send a text to request you to call our bank tellers.”

“Ah, Jamil, you always somehow impress me! It’s a shame you won’t rethink your status here..”

Jamil rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, almost mocking Azul as he responded. “I’m flattered. But I prefer not to get blood all over me or go to those vermin filled streets you work on.”

“Still afraid of bugs?” Azul teased with a smirk, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hands as he held his cane. “I could always keep you in charge of my lounge, it’s clean there.”

“Your workers are insufferable,” Jamil scoffed and played with his hair a bit, keeping a firm gaze on the man across his desk. “Jade is focused but you never know what’s up his sleeves, and Floyd is a disaster waiting to happen. Everyone else is obsessed with money or has issues with orders.”

“They hold their purposes, do not question my choices of employment.”

Before anything else was said, the phone rang and Jamil quickly answered and gave his scripted greeting and informed the man he had to come in to handle the money situation in person, in the meantime Azul texted Floyd and Jade to inform them of what was happening. After the call was finished, Jamil stood up and said in a tired tone, retrieving water from the refreshments table. “He’s on his way, you will catch him downstairs.”

“Thank you Jamil, although I thought you would want to join me? Surely you are just as curious as I am about this anonymous tipper.”

“I have no such interest in watching you and your henchmen tear off his nails and cut his tongue off.”

“Jamil, I assure you those treatments are for the stubborn ones, Jackson is more of a quiet man.” Azul stood up, walking directly behind Jamil which caused the man to stop drinking his water, and he whispered calmly to him. “There is another matter I wish to discuss today..”

“Is it about the loans for your construction project?”

“No, it’s about our contract, the file that is coded “Toxic barb” if I remember right.”

Jamil’s eyes widened a fraction as he seethed out between his teeth. “Let me guess, you want to make alterations again?”

“Precisely.”

He didn’t need to turn around to know the mafia boss was grinning, Jamil shoved him away with his shoulder before pulling out a file from his filing cabinet. Placing the document on the table he sat down and grabbed a fountain pen before opening the file and questioning Azul. “So, what is wrong with it? You can’t keep changing things just because they don’t benefit you as much as you’d like.”

“Our agreement states that you pay me for protection to keep as much crime out of the Golden Sand’s district, as well as providing me with best lawyers in return for some meddling in the stock market to get you and Kalim more profit. That is all well and good, but the last paragraph regarding our..more personal agreements seem a little skewed.”

Jamil raised a brow and flipped the pages to the final sections, this contract was made specifically for Azul and Jamil alone, even Kalim did not know this existed. While Kalim was a good bank owner and person, he was always so naive as to what gives them their profit and how to control it. Kalim could be the face and voice all he wanted, but all the control was really in Jamil’s power since he held the loans and most understanding of the business. The first two pages were deals of smuggling, gambling debts, loans, and construction projects, but the last couple paragraphs were more lively. At the end, it was described that “blood of a member will be spared by blood of another,” which was a detail describing that if one of Azul’s lackey’s were in critical condition and needing an organ or blood then Jamil arranged for them to be at the top of the list.

“I fail to see what is wrong, I give your people the best chance of survival by skipping them to the top of the list. Idia does not have everything you need so we agreed to set you up at a specific hospital to accommodate those needs.”

“Yes, but I also realized that you must have made a knot when we worked on that agreement. Specifically “blood for blood” means that you could give my men a chance, but also means you can take that chance away if you chose to.”

“Now you are the one insulting me Azul,” Jamil grumbled as he read the page again, it was true he could twist the words for such a purpose but never saw a reason to. “The only thing I asked in trade for this deal was that you cover the damage fees of the operations while I got you all bumped up the list. What would you want to change?”

“How about something like this?” Azul purred as he leaned on the desk and watched Jamil carefully, as if the man was waiting to see those pages suddenly combust in his hands. “You will purchase the stock of organs and submit them to Idia, and I shall pay for transportation of the organs.”

“Azul! That will cost a lot of money!”

“And that’s why I am also adding an extra to your side of things, you can convince Kalim to..alter the payment that I receive from you to help pay those expenses.”

It could work, Leona and Azul are paid equally by Kalim about 3,000 thaumarks a month just for “being peaceful” in the Golden Sands, and for protection they pay Azul an extra 40 thaumarks a month. If they could cut Azul’s funding a bit they could save it for transportation of these organs, and he knew that the mafia already made plenty of money with their businesses. Jamil wouldn’t have to call in the early morning to reserve a spot and he can stop bribing doctors to keep quiet about this activity. In the end it would save money, but he knew that there was a catch. “It sounds good, but what are you getting out of it other than saving a trip to the hospital and having to dodge questions?”

“Your services of course. If you help me at the lounge twice a month, with workers, finances, and promo deals, I will happily accept that as payment. And don’t think I’m being patsy here, by being a part of my services that also means you will work like everyone else and kill if I say you must. Have we got a deal?”

Jamil’s eyes were stern, it was a chance to save money but he didn’t want to be Azul’s dog either. He and Azul shared an equal intelligence, there was always some trick to pull on each other and in the end neither side got the upper hand. This however was also a chance to see the lounge and maybe he could mess with the finances a little to save more money, or find a way to improve his own control over Azul’s men. Begrudgingly, Jamil took out a new paper to attach to the file and wrote the statement down, sliding it to Azul for approval before both men signed the paper. It was then that Azul left to see his employee and Jamil smirked to himself, looking at the file he mumbled to himself. “Don’t think you have won Azul, you might have the people under your thumb, but I have the city in my palm.”

#twst #twisted wonderland #Jamil Viper #kalim al asim #Azul Ashengrotto #blood warning #mafia au #chapter 4 of series

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asoulofstaars · 3 years ago

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youtube

in which julia makes video edits for her friends ☆ﾟ↳ petals for armor by @witchywcmans

all these people think love’s for show, but i would die for you in secret… would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years ago

Photo

Whoo, so let’s get back into it, folks!!!💪 Chapters 13-15!!! (I definitely had planned on illustrating more scenes from these and the last three chapters during the hiatus, but didn’t find the time to finish any of it... maybe I’ll post those belatedly, whoops😅)

My two cents regarding this week’s prompts:

Best: see drawing 😊🥰

Worst: The revelation that Darius is an avox now (followed by Katniss not getting to say good-bye to her loved ones) 😢

Funniest: I find myself in the position of having to console them [the prep team]. Since I’m the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying. (Ch. 15) - Katniss is hilarious! 😂

Beautiful: Let them [Katniss’s loved ones] go, I tell myself. Say good-bye and forget them. I do my best, thinking of them one by one, releasing them like birds from the protective cages inside me, locking the doors against their return. (Ch. 14) - That’s some beautiful imagery! I’ll go into more detail on that passage in my thoughts on this chapter

As usual, my (extensive) thoughts on chapters 13-15 are below the cut:

Chapter 13

My body reacts before my mind does and I’m running out the door, across the lawns of Victor’s Village, into the dark beyond. [...] Where? Where to go? The woods, of course. I’m at the fence before the hum makes me remember how very trapped I am. [...] The next thing I know I’m on my hands and knees in the cellar of one of the empty houses in Victor’s Village. [...] I’m cold and wet and winded, but my escape attempt has done nothing to subdue the hysteria rising up inside me. It will drown me unless it’s released. I ball up the front of my shirt, stuff it into my mouth, and begin to scream. How long this continues, I don’t know. But when I stop, my voice is almost gone. - Katniss’s visceral reaction is absolutely gut-wrenching. Interesting how Katniss does not go to her former home, but to Victor’s Village after realizing that she can’t escape into the woods

I see the wooden box in the little boy’s hands. President Snow drawing out the yellowed envelope. Is it possible that this was really the Quarter Quell written down seventy-five years ago? It seems unlikely. It’s just too perfect an answer for the troubles that face the Capitol today [...] - Honestly, this move just shows how desperate Snow is to hold on to anything resembling control in Panem; it’s such an obvious and sloppy move on his part (for someone who didn’t want to stage an “accident” for Katniss after the berries because it would be too obvious, this is pretty transparent, at least for the people in the districts) -Yes, victors are our strongest. They’re the ones who survived the arena and slipped the noose of poverty that strangles the rest of us. They, or should I say we, are the very embodiment of hope where there is no hope. And now twenty-three of us will be killed to show how even that hope was an illusion. - Sure, the victors are strong for having survived the Games, but how many actually survived/truly lived after the Games?! At this point, of course, Katniss hasn’t really met any victors aside from Haymitch, so she still views them from an outsider perspective (notice how she says that the victors ‘slipped the noose of poverty that strangles the rest of us.’) We will learn later that being a victor is not all it’s cracked up to be; their wealth and glory might be highly visible, but their trauma and the way they are being oppressed are not; at least not to your average Joe (Katniss will have to learn that she is not the first victor who has had to endure unspeakable repression after coming back from the arena)

I’m glad I won only last year. Otherwise I’d know all the other victors, not just because I see them on television but because they’re guests at every Games [...] most return to the Capitol each year for the event. I think a lot of them are friends. - Katniss being glad that she doesn’t know the other victors/her fellow tributes because it will make it so much harder being forced to kill them in the arena is similar to how she didn’t ‘bother’ to learn her fellow tributes’ names in her first Games (like how she didn’t know Marvel’s name until the Victory Tour) - the more she knows a person the less likely she is able to kill them, even for her own survival; also, Katniss talking about the older victors attending the Capitol as ‘guests’ when we later will learn that they are actually victims, being forced into prostitution and the like - big oof 😖; it also makes sense that the victors would form a strong bond with each other - nobody else can even fathom what they are going through (also, because many of them are probably trying to keep these horrors secret from their loved ones - if they have still have some left - for protection... it’s awful and sad 😢) - Whereas the only friend I’ll have to worry about killing will be either Peeta or Haymitch. Peeta or Haymitch! I sit straight up, throwing off the sheeting. What just went through my mind? There’s no situation in which I would ever kill Peeta or Haymitch. - Katniss’s semi-detached, analytical assessment of her future opponents comes to a screeching halt once the thought crosses her mind that she might have to worry about killing Peeta and Haymitch - because she could never actually do that (they have become part of her family; they are literally the people she wanted to take with her into the wilderness when she had planned on fleeing D12)

I already know what will happen. Peeta will ask Haymitch to let him go into the arena with me no matter what. For my sake. To protect me. - Katniss knows Peeta so well; this selfless, selfless boy 😭

“I’ll admit, it was easier for the boy. He was here before I could snap the seal on a bottle. Begging me for another chance to go in. But what can you say?” [...] I bite my lip because once he’s said it, I’m afraid that’s what I do want. For Peeta to live, even if it means Haymitch’s death. No, I don’t. He’s dreadful, of course, but Haymitch is my family now. - This was Peeta’s immediate reaction; this boy truly is too good for this world 😭 In a way, it was easier/more straightforward for Peeta, though - he argued for sacrificing himself; Katniss would have to ask someone else (Haymitch, a person she cares about a lot) to sacrifice themselves for Peeta (also someone she cares about) - and she can’t bring herself to do that (that she would sacrifice herself for Peeta in the Games is not even a matter of discussion for her, though - Peeta and Katniss are too pure for this world).

“Maybe it should be you,” I say matter-of-factly as I pull up a chair. “You hate life, anyway.” “Very true,” says Haymitch. “And since last time I tried to keep you alive... seems like I’m obligated to save the boy this time.” - Haymitch saying ‘very true’ reminds me of this scene in THG (Ch. 8) after Katniss shot that arrow at the apple of that roasted pig and was worried there would be consequences for her mom and Prim: “More likely they’ll make your life hell in the arena.” “Well, they’ve already promised to do that to us anyway,” says Peeta. “Very true,” says Haymitch. And I realize the impossible has happened. They have actually cheered me up.; it’s one of the first moments of them working as a team and being each other’s support system

“Peeta’s argument is that since I chose you, I now owe him. Anything he wants. And what he wants is the chance to go in again to protect you,” says Haymitch. I knew it. In this way, Peeta’s not hard to predict. - Peeta cashing in the favor Haymitch ‘owes’ him for Katniss 😩 (this boy lives for others, especially Katniss; like how his token this time in the arena is a locket with photos to remind Katniss what - or whom - she has to stay alive for 😭 Also the line of Peeta not being hard to predict for Katniss in this way reminded me of Katniss thinking: He [Peeta]’s very hard to predict, which might be interesting under different circumstances (THG, Ch. 19) when she’s looking for Peeta after the 2-winner-rule has been announced - on the one hand, it shows how much closer they have grown over the past months, that it has become so much easier for Katniss to understand and predict his actions; on the other hand, I think it also shows that while Katniss is still intrigued by the way Peeta views the world and chooses to act in it (remember her fascination with that ‘intense look’ he would get while working on the plant book) and still can have a hard time predicting what Peeta will do (looking at you, strict trainer-Peeta! ;), the core of who he is (selfless, protective, loving her) is perfectly clear to her, and is made up of all the good things (he’s dependable in that way, but exciting in others... that’s a good combo to have in your significant other)

There’s something else I want from Haymitch. “Okay, I figured out what I’m asking,” I say. “If it is Peeta and me in the Games, this time we try to keep him alive.” Something flickers across his bloodshot eyes. Pain. “Like you said, it’s going to be bad no matter how you slice it. And whatever Peeta wants, it’s his turn to be saved. We both owe him that.” - Poor, poor Haymitch: he had spent most of his life as a victor in lethargic agony, then actually had some tributes he had a chance of bringing home (hope!), actually managed to get both of them out of there and now here he is, having to send them back into the arena, with a huge chance at least one of them won’t make it (also, having to watch his other victor-friends die) and then these two kids also have the audacity to be so pure and selfless, trying to rope him into helping them keeping their respective tribute partner alive 😭 And Katniss being adamant that this time, it’s going to be Peeta who’s going to be saved; these two... They are turning this cynical/sarcastic German saying on its head, for sure: “If everybody takes care of themselves, then everybody is taken care of.“ With these two, they are both taken care of because they are taking care of each other 😭😭

“It’s not too late [to run away],” he [Gale] says. Over his shoulder, I see my mother and Prim clutching each other in the doorway. We run. They die. And now I’ve got Peeta to protect. End of discussion. “Yeah, it is.” - Boy, the matter-of-fact way Katniss just accepts what just an hour or two ago caused her to have a total fit of hysteria because she’s come to the conclusion that this is the only way to keep her loved ones alive... Chills

I turn on the shower and stand under the warm rain for a minute before I realize I’m still in my underclothes. My mother must have just stripped off my filthy outer ones and tucked me in bed. [...] My hands sting, and that’s when I notice the stitches, small and even, across one palm and up the side of the other hand. - another example of Mrs. Everdeen taking care of Katniss and Katniss seems to be very accepting and chill about this - their relationship has come so far!

I’m not ready to see my mother and Prim. I have to pull myself together to be calm and reassuring, the way I was when we said our good-byes the day of the last reaping. I have to be strong. [...] They appear in the doorway, holding tea and toast, their faces filled with concern. I open my mouth, planning to start off with some kind of joke, and burst into tears. So much for being strong. - Katniss, there’s nothing wrong with crying in front of others, especially if they’re people you trust and feel safe around; it doesn’t mean that you aren’t strong - My mother sits on the side of the bed and Prim crawls right up next to me and they hold me, making quiet soothing sounds, until I am mostly cried out. Then Prim gets a towel and dries my hair, combing out the knots, while my mother coaxes tea and toast into me. They dress me in warm pajamas and layer more blankets on me and I drift off again. - I love this moment of the Everdeen ladies just comforting and taking care of each other here (mostly directed at Katniss, of course, but being able to take care of Katniss, at least in this moment, has to provide Mrs. E. and Prim with some comfort, too)... It’s really sad when you think about the fact that Haymitch and Peeta don’t have anyone to give them that sort of care 😢

My mother ladles out a mug of broth for me, and I ask for a second mug to take to Haymitch. - Sweet how Katniss thinks of Haymitch :)

a few minutes later Peeta comes down and tosses a cardboard box of empty liquor bottles on the table with finality. “There, it’s done,” he says. It’s taking all of Haymitch’s resources to focus his eyes on the bottles, so I speak up. “What’s done?” “I’ve poured all the liquor down the drain,” says Peeta. This seems to jolt Haymitch out of his stupor, and he paws through the box in disbelief. “You what?” “I tossed the lot,” says Peeta. “He’ll just buy more,” I say. “No, he won’t,” says Peeta. “I tracked down Ripper this morning and told her I’d turn her in the second she sold to either of you. I paid her off, too, just for good measure but I don’t think she’s eager to be back in the Peacekeepers’ custody.” - Damn, Peeta can be a hard-ass when necessary! But I see you, bread-boy, giving Ripper money also to make sure she’s got some resources, with her business at risk of running dry - you’re still a goody-two-shoes underneath that tough-guy act ;)

I don’t know what I expected from my first meeting with Peeta after the announcement. A few hugs and kisses. A little comfort maybe. Not this. I turn to Haymitch. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you more liquor.” “Then I’ll turn you both in. Let you sober up in the stocks,” says Peeta. - Lol, Katniss being all shocked (TM) at Peeta’s businesslike approach when she was so certain she was going to get some comforting snuggles from her boo 😂

“The point is that two of us are coming home from the Capitol. One mentor and one victor,” says Peeta. “Effie’s sending me recordings of all the living victors. “We’re going to watch their Games and learn everything we can about how they fight. We’re going to put on weight and get strong. We’re going to start acting like Careers. And one of us is going to be victor again whether you two like it or not!” He sweeps out of the room, slamming the front door. - Peeta’s been busy! Arranging things with Ripper, talking to Effie, coming up with a plan of action for the upcoming weeks... Did he allow himself any time to fall apart, at least a little? Or did he immediately switch into problem-solving mood, putting his feelings aside for the most part?

Peeta takes copious notes, Haymitch volunteers information about the victors’ personlaities, and slowly we begin to know our competition. Every morning we do exercises to strenghten our bodies. We run and lift things and stretch our muscles. Every afternoon we work on our combat skills, throwing knives, fighting hand to hand; I even teach them to climb trees. [...] Peeta and I excel under the new regimen, though. It gives me something to do. It gives us all something to do besides accept defeat. My mother puts us on a special diet to gain weight. Prim treats our sore muscles. Madge sneaks us her father’s Capitol newspapers. [...] Even Gale steps into the picture on Sundays, although he’s got no love for Peeta or Haymitch, and teaches us all he knows about snares. - Honestly, this would have made for an awesome training montage on screen... Oh well; I love how their training truly is a group effort, also involving Mrs. E., Prim, Madge, and even Gale

One night, as I’m walking Gale back into town, he even admits, “It’d be better if he were easier to hate.” - Come on, Gale, don’t be so effing petty 🙄 - “Tell me about it,” I say. “If I could’ve just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn’t be in this mess now. He’d be dead, and I’d be a happy little victor all by myself.” - Would you be happy, though, Katniss? Would you? I don’t think so; you felt bad for killing Marvel and for Cato’s painful death and you didn’t even like these dudes one bit... and if Peeta hadn’t been the kind boy (with the bread) that he is, you might not have even been there in the first place, soo... I’m calling BS on that one - “And where would we be, Katniss?” asks Gale - Gale... this isn’t about you or your romantic feelings for Katniss, geez... Katniss and the gang are in the middle of training for another flipping death match and you bring that stuff up again although she told you that in the world as it is right now, she can’t focus on these kinds of things... So. Let. It. Go.

“Hunting. Like every Sunday,” I say. I know he didn’t mean the question literally, but this is as much as I can honestly give. Gale knows I chose him over Peeta when I didn’t make a run for it. - Lol, does Gale know, Katniss? There she goes again, assuming without communicating... Also, why is not running away = choosing Gale? o.O You’ve barely seen Gale since the whipping, while spending loads of time with Peeta - why would Gale think that you chose him? The only definite choice you’ve made so far is that you are going to protect Peeta at any cost

Since I don’t plan on making it back alive a second time, the sooner Gale lets me go, the better. I do plan on saying one or two things to him after the reaping, when we’re allowed an hour for good-byes. To let Gale know how essential he’s been to me all these years. How much better my life has been for knowing him. For loving him, even if it’s only in the limited way that I can manage. - Katniss shouldn’t have to feel bad for loving Gale in the way she does; she truly cares about him, just not in a romantic way, but his repeated prodding has made her feel deficient in the reciprocity that used to be a staple of their relationship... She wants him to know how important he has been to her and she wishes he’d let her go sooner rather than later so he won’t be as hurt once she dies - she’s really trying to be considerate of his feelings, and yet she feels like it’s never enough... Whereas Gale is still hinting at/bringing up the potential romance angle, although she has explicitly expressed that it makes her uncomfortable. Honestly, in this regard, Gale kind of gives me Boldwood-ish vibes, focussing way too much on what he wants out of their relationship than what his counterpart wants or feels ready to give (maybe just because I’ve just recently finished reading Far from the Madding Crowd, or maybe because I’ve read this interesting post by @lost815 on the similarities between Peeta and Gabriel Oak); Gale is a lot less creepy than Boldwood, of course, but still he’s being super tone deaf when it comes to what Katniss wants and needs right now from their relationship

Chapter 14

I remain at the window long after the woods have swallowed up the last glimpse of my home. This time I don’t even have the slightest hope of return. Before my first Games, I promised Prim I would do everything I could to win, and now I’ve sworn to myself to do all I can to keep Peeta alive. I will never reverse this journey again. I’d actually figured out what I wanted my last words to my loved ones to be. How best to close amd lock the doors and leave them sad but safely behind. And now the Capitol has stolen that as well. - It’s so awful how this time, Katniss didn’t even get the chance to say good-bye to her loved ones on her own terms, when at least this time (in contrast to her first Games) she had the time to prepare something for the occasion :(

“We’ll write letters, Katniss,” says Peeta from behind me. “It will be better, anyway. Give them a piece of us to hold on to [...]” - Peeta does have a point that a written letter can serve as a tangible memento; unfortunately, it’s not a medium that is going to work for Katniss, but I really hope that Peeta got to say his good-byes to his family this way (since he will never see them again, albeit not for the reason he’s assuming here; although it might mean little to Peeta since they probably never received his letters by the time D12 gets bombed) - I nod and go straight to my room. I sit on the bed, knowing I will never write those letters. They will be like the speech I tried to write to honor Rue and Thresh in District 11. Things seemed clear in my head and even when I talked before the crowd, but the words never came out of the pen right. - Perfect example how Katniss is basically just able to speak from the heart in the moment, as we will see in MJ - Besides, they were meant to go with embraces and kisses and a stroke of Prim’s hair, a caress of Gale’s safe, a squeeze of Madge’s hand. - Also an example of how Katniss uses her actions to get a lot of her feelings across. (I love how Madge has been added to the roster of people close to Katniss’s heart)

Let them go, I tell myself. Say good-bye and forget them. I do my best, thinking of them one by one, releasing them like birds from the protective cages inside me, locking the doors against their return. - This is some beautiful imagery (also, some bird-motif again); I wonder what Katniss exactly means by ‘protective cages inside me’ - what or whom do these cages protect? Do they protect the birds/her images of her loved ones from something outside of them (in that way, it kinda makes me think of how the Capitol will pry open those cages inside Peeta, to distort his image of Katniss into something horrible), or do these cages protect Katniss, because the people she loves are what she falls back on when she has to remind herself what/whom she’s living for (think of how her promise to Prim kept her going in her first Games and how she lost her will to live after Prim’s death)?

“I love your new hair, Effie,” Peeta says. “Thank you. I had it especially done to match Katniss’s pin. I was thinking we might get you a golden ankle band and maybe find Haymitch a gold bracelet or something so we could all look like a team,” says Effie. [...] “I think that’s a great idea,” says Peeta. “How about it, Haymitch?” “Yeah, whatever,” says Haymitch. He’s not drinking but I can tell he’d like to be. Effie had them take her own wine away when she saw the effort he was making - Such nice moments that make you appreciate Effie a lot more; she’s making a fashion statement to emphasize that she views the four of them as a team (not bad for someone who hoped they were going to get promoted to a “better district” after Peeta and Katniss’s win) and she also re-enforces this through her actions (i.e. turning down her drink in solidarity with Haymitch); it’s very sweet (although I couldn’t help but snort at the absurdity of Effie suggesting an ankle band to the guy with one leg 😅 - she’s got the spirit, though)

Effie makes hushed, distressed comments like “Oh, not Celia” or “Well, Chaff never could stay out of a fight,” and sighs frequently. - A first hint that the Capitolites might not be too on board with the premise of this particular Quarter Quell, since they grow attached to their victors

I just sit there watching Peeta rip out the pages of the victors who were not picked. “Why don’t you get some sleep?” he says. Because I can’t handle the nightmares. Not without you, I think. - Katniss basically admits here that she needs Peeta, that he helps her dealing with her trauma, just by being there for her! Which is a big admission, coming from her. - They are sure to be dreadful tonight. But I can hardly ask Peeta to come sleep with me. We’ve barely touched since that night Gale was whipped. - You lying liar, Katniss! After Gale got whipped, Peeta kissed you in front of the Peacekeepers, carried you around your house and tucked you into your bed... He only turned all businesslike when the Quarter Quell was announced. On the other hand, you apparently decided in your mind that you “chose Gale” after he got whipped and now you’re upset that Peeta’s not making any ‘moves’ on you?? Make up your mind, gurl ;) And technically, you could ask him to come sleep with you; he told you that he also sleeps better with you in his arms, sooo... - “What are you going to do?” I ask. “Just review my notes awhile. Get a clear picture of what we’re up against. But I’ll go over it with you in the morning. Go to bed, Katniss,” he says. - Peeta reassuring Katniss that he’ll go over his notes with her in the morning makes me wonder whether he thinks that she is stalling going to bed because she wants to be up to date on everything (which is probably something he’d value highly, after being left out of the loop the last few times; and also because he’s in rational problem-solving mode right now, rather than his more emotionally mature people-person mode); Peeta insisting that Katniss should go to bed is a more grounded, rational expression of his caring for her (Katniss needs her rest)

within a few hours I awake from a nightmare where that old woman from District 4 transforms into a large rodent and gnaws on my face. I know I was screaming, but no one comes. Not Peeta, not even one of the Capitol attendants. - It’s so weird to have Katniss have this nightmare starring Mags, of all people... Also, someone’s a little pouty that no strapping young man with strong arms is there to provide comfort, hmh?😉

Peeta rises and flips off the tape when he sees me. - Okay, but it’s kind of hilarious to imagine that even that far into the future, their ‘old recording technology’ is still tapes 😂 - “Couldn’t sleep?” “Not for long,” I say. [...] “Want to talk about it?” he asks. Sometimes that can help, but I just shake my head, feeling weak that people I haven’t even fought yet already haunt me. When Peeta holds out his arms, I walk straight into them. - I think it’s interesting how Peeta first turns off the tape (research for their problem), then offers a more, hmh, let’s say directed approach to deal with her nightmares (’want to talk about it?’), and then offers physical affection to comfort Katniss; I also feel like from this moment onwards, Peeta drops the tough trainer routine completely (it’s not necessary anymore; the tributes have been chosen, they have done all the preparation that was in their power once his notes are finalized; after that, it’s just rolling with the punches) - It’s the first time since they announced the Quarter Quell that he’s offered me any sort of affection. He’s been more like a very demanding trainer, always pushing, always insisting Haymitch and I run faster, eat more, know our enemy better. Lover? Forget about that. He abandoned any pretense of even being my friend. - Katniss, this guy is literally preparing to die for you and you accuse him of dropping any pretense of being your friend??🙄🤦‍♀️ It’s called tough love and I can tell you are not a fan of it ;)

I wrap my arms tightly around his neck before he can order me to do push-ups or something. Instead he pulls me in close and buries his face in my hair. - We know that you missed Peeta’s affection, Katniss, but haven’t you considered that the poor boy might also have been missing these moments? - Warmth radiates from the spot where his lips just touch my neck, slowly spreading through the rest of me. It feels so good, so impossibly good, that I know I will not be the first to let go. - Katniss absolutely craving and basking in Peeta’s affection - how can people (including Katniss, lol) think that she’d chose Gale over Peeta?!??

And why should I? I have said good-bye to Gale. I’ll never see him again, that’s for certain. Nothing I do now can hurt him. He won’t see it or he’ll think I am acting for the cameras. That, at least, is one weight off my shoulders. - It’s been weighing on her how showing any affection towards Peeta could potentially hurt Gale; just goes to show how much she cares (platonically) for Gale, but also how much Gale’s continued lingering on the potentiality of the development of a romantic relationship between him and Katniss has affected/impeded Katniss in being more affectionate and open with Peeta (I’m sure it was not really Gale’s intent, but it’s still a pretty uncool move on his part)

“What’s with him [the Capitol attendant that brought the warm milk]?” I say. “I think he feels bad for us,” says Peeta. “Right,” I say, pouring the milk. “I mean it. I don’t think the people in the Capitol are going to be all that happy about our going back in,” says Peeta. “Or the other victors. They get attached to their champions.” - Peeta’s intuitve people skills are on to something here - I think this is when he realizes that the Capitol/Snow is severely underestimating the power of human connection (of course, the Capitolites generally aren’t truly empathetic towards the victors, their attachment is more of a selfish kind of “love”, but it’s an attachment nevertheless) and this is actually something that can be used to their (Katniss’s, Peeta’s, and just the victors’ in general) advantage and will ultimately lead to Peeta dropping that baby bomb

“We don’t have to tell Haymitch we saw it [the recording of the 2nd Quarter Quell].” “Okay,” Peeta agrees. He puts in the tape and I curl up next to him on the couch with my milk, - reminds me of Katniss and Peeta watching the replay of their Games: I sit so close to Peeta that I’m pracitcally on his lap, but one look from Haymitch tells me it isn’t enough. Kicking off my sandals, I tuck my feet to the side and lean my head against Peeta’s shoulder. (THG, Ch. 27) - Only this time, there’s no Haymitch to tell Katniss to sit close to Peeta; she’s doing that because she wants to

then I hear the name “Maysilee Donner.” “Oh!” I say. “She was my mother’s friend.” [...] “I think that’s your mother hugging her,” says Peeta quietly. And he’s right. As Maysilee Donner bravely disengages herself and heads for the stage, I catch a glimpse of my mother at my age, and no one has exaggerated her beauty. Holding her hand and weeping is another girl who looks just like Maysilee. But a lot like someone else I know, too. “Madge.” I say. “That’s her mother. She and Maysilee were twins or something,” Peeta says. “My dad mentioned it once.” I think of Madge’s mother. Mayor Undersee’s wife. Who spends half her life in bed immobilized with terrible pain, shutting out the world. I think of how I never realized that she and my mother shared this connection. - I feel like this is one of these moments where Katniss really realizes the trauma that also shaped her parents’ generation; it’s easy to be mad/upset with your parents for not doing enough/what you deem the “right thing” and expect from an adult when you are a child/teenager and totally forget that parents have been children/teens, too, who might have their own burdens to bear and which might impede them in their later life, that you, as their child, are not really aware of

But since Haymitch is going to be the victor, we get to see one full exchange between him and Caesar Flickerman, who looks exactly as he always does in his twinkling midnight blue suit. Only his dark green hair, eyelids, and lips are different. - Okay, Caesar still looking the same after 25 years is just kinda creepy

That’s when we hear Maysilee begin to scream. The alliance is over and she broke it off, so no one could blame him for ignoring her. But Haymitch runs for her, anyway. He arrives only in time to watch the last of a flock of candy-pink birds, equipped with long, thin beaks, skewer her through the neck. He holds her hand while she dies, and all I can think of is Rue and how I was too late to save her, too. - Okay, so the bird thing is super creepy and sounds like something the Penguin would come up with 😧 Haymitch evidently caring despite projecting an aloof personality just shows how similar (younger) he and Katniss are, as Katniss says: “It’s [using the forcefield to kill the last tribute] almost as bad as us and berries!” [...] I think I finally know who Haymitch is. And I’m beginning to know who I am. And surely, two people who have caused the Capitol so much trouble can think of a way to get Peeta home alive. - I’d love to know what Katniss has learned about who she is at this point; since she didn’t really have much of a concept of her identity beyond keeping her family alive and fed before her first Games and feeling at loss for who she is on the way back to D12 by then end of the first book. I wonder how exactly she views herself now - it definitely involves a bit of rebellion against the Capitol and a fierce determination to save Peeta, but no definite specifics so far...

Chapter 15

At some point during the prep, each of them [the prep team] bursts into tears at least twice, and Octavia pretty much keeps up a running whimper throughout the morning. It turns out they really have become attached to me and the idea of my returning to the arena has undone them. [...] The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I’m the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying. - Lol, you’ve gotta love Katniss’s dry humor 😂

It’s interesting, though, when I think of what Peeta said about the attendant on the train being unhappy about the victors having to fight again. About people in the Capitol not liking it. [...] They certainly don’t have a problem watching children being murdered every year. But maybe they know too much about the victors, especially the ones who’ve been celebrities for ages, to forget we’re human beings. It’s more like watching your own friends die. More like the Games are for those of us in the districts. - It is indeed interesting, Katniss! Peeta’s on to something here... To avoid solidarity and attachment, the Capitol diligently keeps apart the districts from each other, as well as the Capitol apart from the districts; BUT! because of the cruelty they inflict on the districts (the Games), they are providing the districts with a common goal/enemy to bond over (Katniss will make use of that when she’s talking to that man at the Nut in D2) and because by providing the Capitolites with this sick entertainment, they have created a contact point for people from the districts and the Capitol - and recurring exposure to something/someone creates a sense of familiarity (-> “familiarity principle”, also sometimes called the mere-exposure effect) and increases our liking of said thing/person. Blanchet and Vaage (2012) have even postulated in their publication “Don, Peggy, and Other Fictional Friends? Engaging with Characters in Television Series” that repeated exposure to characters in tv shows (vs. limited exposure to movie characters) would suggest that tv series have a greater potential for the viewer to bond with the characters on screen. They argue that this recurring exposure could have a similar effect to that of the “shared history account of love and friendship”, one of the criteria for the forming of friendships, which could explain why we sometimes feel like we have a sort of pseudo-friendship with fictional characters (who would have thought that I would end up citing a paper I referenced in my master’s thesis here, huh? I certainly didn’t ;) - since the Capitolites just barely acknowledge the victors as people and mostly know them from the detached viewings, I feel like this analogy could fit

the moment he [Cinna] walks in the door I snap, “I swear if you cry, I’ll kill you here and now.” Cinna just smiles. “Had a damp morning?” “You could wring me out,” I reply. Cinna puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me into lunch. “Don’t worry. I always channel my emotions into my work. That way I don’t hurt anyone but myself.” - love that banter-y aspect of Katniss and Cinna’s relationship; but also, Cinna’s remark about channeling his emotions into his work so he can only end up hurting himself hits different when you know what is to come 😢

I’m hoping to find Peeta and Haymitch, but they haven’t arrived yet. Unlike last year, when all the tributes were practically glued to their chariot, the scene is very social. The victors, both this year’s tributes and their mentors, are standing around in small groups, talking. Of course, they all know one another and I don’t know anyone, and I’m not really the sort of person to go around introducing myself. So I just stroke the neck of one of my horses and try not to be noticed. - As a hardcore introvert, I feel this moment in my bones - the only people I feel comfortable around are not there and there are a bunch of people who have known each other for a long time, talking with each other? I’ll try my best to disappear into the background (instead of a horse, I generally have a book) 😄

Because of his [Finnick’s] youth, they couldn’t really touch him for the first year or two. - Well, I’d hope so, but I get the feeling that the Capitol used those two years to let Finnick ‘know’ that there was no choice but to sign up for what they had in mind for him... or else 😟 - But ever since he turned sixteen, he’s spent his time at the Games being dogged by those desperately in love with him. No one retains his favor for long. He can go through four or five in his annual visit. Old or young, lovely or plain, rich or very rich, he’ll keep them company and take their extravagant gifts, but he never stays, and once he’s gone he never comes back. - It’s strange how Katniss first frames Finnick as a victim or as someone who needed to be protected (e.g. Capitol first couldn’t touch him for the first two years, Finnick being ‘dogged’), but after that, it doesn’t seem like she continues the thought that he might not be enjoying that lifestyle at all and might actually be forced into it; Maybe because Katniss can’t even fathom the horror of a 16-year-old boy being forced into prostitution, maybe because she’s still ignorant of how shitty the regular victor’s life is post-Games, or maybe because she’d never consider that a guy could be forced into prostitution (as in D12, it’s basically just a thing some women resort to, as the “market” for that kind of thing was basically just Cray, from what we’ve learned)

I can’t argue that Finnick isn’t one of the most stunning, sensuous people on the planet. But I can honestly say he’s never been attractive to me. Maybe he’s too pretty, or maybe he’s too easy to get, or maybe it’s really that he’s just be too easy too lose. - Sounds like you’re more interested in a more steady and safe type of guy, Katniss... Hmmh, I wonder who could qualify as such...🤔😉 I also love how Katniss has no problem admitting that Finnick is objectively hot, while still being genuine when she says that she’s not into him (she talked similarly about Gale in the first book)

He’s draped in a golden net that’s strategically knotted at his groin so that he can’t technically be called naked, but he’s about as close as you can get. - Lol, this reminds me of the Grimm’s fairytale “The Clever Farmer’s Daughter” in which a king asks said farmer’s daughter to come to his castle “Not undressed, nor naked, not on horse, nor by carriage, not on the road, nor off it", so she ‘dresses’ herself in a net, ties it to a donkey’s tail and let’s the animal drag her to the king’s castle, with only one of her toes touching the road 😄

“You’re absolutely terrifying me in that getup. What happened to the pretty little-girl dresses?” he asks. He wets his lips just ever so slightly with his tongue. Probably this drives most people crazy. But for some reason all I can think of is old Cray, salivating over some poor, starving young woman. - Oh boy, Katniss is way off here... 😩😭

“What did Finnick Odair want?” he [Peeta] asks. I turn and put my lips close to Peeta’s and drop my eyelids in imitation of Finnick. “He offered me sugar and wanted to know all my secrets,” I say in my best seductive voice. Peeta laughs. “Ugh. Not really.” “Really,” I say. “I’ll tell you more when my skin stops crawling.” - Evidently, Finnick’s line of flirting is not appealing to neither Katniss nor Peeta ^^- “Do you think we’d have ended up like this if only one of us had won?” he asks, glancing around the other victors. - Peeta wondering about this really showcases his empathy and how he doesn’t really view the victors as ‘other’, unlike Katniss still does at this point

“Sure. Especially you,” I say. “Oh. And why especially me?” he says with a smile. “Because you have a weakness for beautiful things and I don’t,” I say with an air of superiority. - Says the woman who lamented having to kill a beautiful lynx and a beautiful deer and who waxed poetic about Peeta’s eyelashes 👀 -“They would lure you into their Capitol ways and you’d be lost entirely.” “Having an eye for beauty isn’t the same thing as a weakness,” Peeta points out. “Except possibly when it comes to you.” - Leave it to Peeta to manage arguing Katniss’s point while also dropping a flirty compliment - what a multitasker! 😉

“Shall we?” He holds out a hand to help me into the chariot. I climb up and pull him up after me. “Hold still,” I say, and straighten his crown. - Cuties! Peeta being a gentleman and helping Katniss up the chariot first, followed by her helping him up in return and adjusting his crown because they’re a team and basically married at this point 😭 (I know I’m exaggerating, but still.. it’s so cute)

“Are we supposed to hold hands this year?” I ask. “I guess they’ve left it up to us,” says Peeta. I look up into those blue eyes that no amount of dramatic makeup can make truly deadly and remember how, just a year ago, I was prepared to kill him. Convinced he was trying to kill me. Now everything is reversed. I’m determined to keep him alive, knowing the cost will be my own life [...] Our hands find each other without further discussion. Of course we will go into this as one. - 😭😭

Before either of us says a word, she [Seeder] embraces me. I know somehow it must be because of Rue and Thresh. Before I can stop myself, I whisper, “The families?” “They’re alive,” she says back softly before letting me go. - Aww, Katniss checking with Seeder how Thresh’s and Rue’s families are doing is exactly why Seeder went into this hug in the first place - Katniss is so kind 🥺

Except for her forest green slippers, she [Johanna] doesn’t have on a stitch of clothing. “That’s better.” We end up on the same elevator with her, and she spends the whole ride to the seventh floor chatting to Peeta about his paintings while the light of his still-glowing costume reflects off her bare breasts. When she leaves, I ignore him, but I just know he’s grinning. - Lol, somebody’s jealouuusss!!!😏 And Peeta’s just super amused 😂

I toss aside his hand as the doors close behind Chaff and Seeder, leaving us alone, and he breaks out laughing. “What?” I say, turning on him as we step out on our floor. “It’s you, Katniss. Can’t you see?” he says. “What’s me?” I say. “Why they’re all acting like this. Finnick with his sugar cubes and Chaff kissing you and that whole thing with Johanna stripping down.” He tries to take on a more serious tone, unsuccessfully. “They’re playing with you because you’re so... you know.” “No, I don’t know,” I say. And I really have no idea what he’s talking about. [...] “You’re so... pure,” he says finally. “I am not!” I say. “I’ve been practically ripping your clothes off every time there’s been a camera for the last year!” “Yeah, but... I mean, for the Capitol, you’re pure,” he says, clearly trying to mollify me. “For me, you’re perfect. They’re just teasing you.” “No, they’re laughing at me, and so are you!” I say. “No.” Peeta shakes his head, but he’s still suppressing a smile. I’m seriously rethinking the question of who should get out of these Games alive when the elevator door opens. - Geez, Katniss, calm down ^^ Although it would make sense that she’d feel upset over the other victors not taking her too seriously - being taken seriously has been an integral part of her approach in the last Games (think of how she took a lot of pride in showcasing her capability in the arena) and now that she’s hell-bent on saving Peeta it would also be important that any potential allies (or threats) take her seriously, too (of course, you can tease someone and still respect their skills, etc. but in Katniss’s defense there have been already 3 people trying to throw her off her game and it seems to have worked at least a little)... I wonder if Peeta might recognize this kind of playful teasing from his time on the wrestling team - I’m sure there was plenty of that happening there ^^

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #thg meta #everlark #my sketches and drawings #thg fanart #haymitch abernathy #effie

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