#cause that’s happened to so many of the characters where they go somewhere then after a few eps they’re back

[shytastemakerthing]

Hey there! Maybe this is an odd request but I was wondering if you could do a list or maybe write a few characters of your choice on who would find piercings or body mods most attractive vs who wouldn't? For example I have my tongue and angel fangs done, dye my hair constantly, and I plan on getting a cherry blossom tattoo on my back. Would the Pomefiore house turn their nose at that?? Would it be against the rules at Heartslabyul? Or are there characters that you think would immediately crush on someone who looked like that? If not feel free to ignore, but I was just wondering if I could get your take on this!

A/N: The amount of ideas that I have for this should be criminal XD. But for the sake of not turning this into one massive essay, we'll just cover the basics for each boy. Enjoy!

TW: None

Note: Ortho is strictly PLATONIC

Riddle: He isn't completely against piercings or tattoos, but given how he was raised, his mother certainly beat it into his head that such things were not okay and destroyed one's body. He's been working on that a bit. Certainly would like the single lobe piercings the most, especially if they were rose or flower themed. Tattoos? Yeah, that will take much more getting used to.

Trey: Look at this man and tell me he isn't into that. All he asks is that you take proper care of them. Will absolutely go with you to choose out more. He isn't fully opposed to tattoos, he just doesn't like that caused you pain throughout. But seeing the after makes it worth it

Cater: More of a piercings guy. Absolutely gets you more, whether it be from deals he gets, from his sisters, or he was scrolling and saw an add. Wants all the pictures. Not a fan of tattoos surprisingly. Would be more into the temporary ones or even henna

Ace: Heavily into both. Man looks at you and is fighting the heart eyes. There's just something so attractive about them that tickles his brain just right. If you were to get some kind of a small heart tattoo somewhere, much like the drawing he has under his eye, the ego boost would be insane.

Deuce: Slightly more into tattoos than the piercings. It's a serious thing, permanent in many cases, and it's a long and sometimes painful process. He admires the dedication. Often traces any that you have and 100% goes with you if you want to get another one

Leona: The man has a tattoo. Certainly more of a tattoo guy. Not to say he doesn't like piercings, he just feels like they would easily get in the way or pulled that makes them a bother. Now, tattoos? You're speaking his language. The moment you mention you want a new one, he's taking you to where he has gotten his, only the best is what you get, willing to spend as much as needed. After all, if you want a good tattoo, you must be willing to pay. 1000% find tattoos attractive

Ruggie: Not the biggest on either tbh. Mostly because they cost so much money and as someone who grew up not having much of it, would rather keep what he has than spend it on these.

Jack: Not a tattoo guy. Piercings are hot or miss for him. Depends on what they are and where. He loves seeing little moon or wolf earrings on you, something simple

Azul: Honestly, more of a tattoo guy. The permanence of them is what gets him. Being 100% positive that you want thing on your body for the rest of your life. Absolute game over if you get anything octopus related, he's ascended then and there. Man is so red, stumbling over his words, his brain shuts down. Absolutely traces it whenever it's just the two of you... yes, it has sometimes led to more.. heated moments

Jade: Absolutely a piercings guy. Doesn't matter where, he loves them and if you happen to get a set of moray eel ones or mushrooms for the ears, no one knows where both of you vanished too. Finds them more attractive than he would like to admit. Also goes with you if you want more

Floyd: It's about 50/50 for him, he likes both, leans more towards tattoos, though. Another tracer. Kisses them all of the time, gives little nibbles..... you got one of a moray (where is up to you), he's never been more attracted to you than in this moment. Also, no one knows where you guys went after that... he just wants... further examination

Kalim: Honestly a tattoo guy. Another who will fund when you want more. What you want, you get, and can honestly go a bit overboard, but he just wants to make sure you are happy with what you have! Has more wholesome intentions than the rest when he traces them

Jamil: Not the biggest fan of either. More of a henna tattoo guy if you want them. Will absolutely do them himself, the man is a natural. Plus, it's an intimate moment for the both of you and he enjoys the atmosphere

Vil: Surprisingly a piercing guy. He finds them attractive on you, especially when you pair them well with whatever you are wearing for the day. He can't explain it, but there is just something about a lip piercing that draws him in. His eyes are often drawn to your lips as it is anyways, the piercing isn't helping. If you have a tattoo somewhere hidden, that only he gets to see (may not be the biggest fan of them but knowing he is the only one to ever see it sends this man on a trip), sends a shudder down his spine

Rook: VERY much into both. Both send his brain in a million different directions. Traces them, kisses them, helps you change the piercings. intentions are not always the most pure, but that's the fun of it. Takes you for more, even recommends more bold piercings and offers options for tattoos

Epel: Piercing guy. More so, he just likes them. Likes how they look or would shine. Just more of a pleasant thing he likes to see. Gets you little apple studs to put in your ears.

Idia: Honestly? He leans either way.But anything that relates to his interests or pomegranates (if you know, you know), and the man is a goner. Hair is entirely pink as he tries to avert his gaze. Funds more for you all of the time, he has the money for it and he loves to spoil you. Absolutely traces tattoos while you are asleep. If you're awake? Will absolutely lead to heated moments

Ortho: Helps you make sure that new tattoos and piercings are kept nice and clean! We can't have you getting any infections. He doesn't want anything happening to his best friend, after all! If you are looking for something new for your piercings, will have the best shops available with the best metals to use.

Malleus: Surprisingly, a tattoo guy. If you get a dragon, he is gone.... and so are you. Congrats, you're married now. Just the thought that you are willing to sit there for hours under a needle piercing your skin brings a new sort of admiration. Starts with pure intentions, but instincts get the best of him

Lilia: Piercing guy all the way, he loves them. Recommends all different types and styles. Bats are the most common that he finds for you. Intentions are nowhere near being pure most of the time, knowing him. Especially with a lip or tongue piercing, kisses you all of the time

Silver: Surprisingly big into both of them. Again, it's the permanence of them, something that he loves. Like Epel, just enjoys the meaning they may have and how they would look on you.

Sebek: HEAR ME OUT! Big on both of them all of the way, especially piercings. Again, some of it is a dedication thing for him, but there is just something about a tongue piercing that riles him up a bit, most because the way that it feels during more intimate moments that you would both have with one another. Tattoos are a dedication that he admires all the way. You have one croc related and he is a goner

Have a wonderful day/night!

[thehumanwiki]

hi and welcome to

✨bullshit that has ACTUALLY happened somewhere in the Pokémon franchise✨

-a teenaged boy runs away from home because of his abusive mom only to join a crime gang funded by his abusive mom.

-the player character is given a smartphone by and with direct contact to God.

-a man cosplaying God (the same God you got a phone from) attacks you with a demon banished to another dimension.

-a suicide cult led by an evil snowflake kills like one hundred other protagonists.

-there is an entire elemental typing consisting of abused and evil Pokémon that is super effective against everything else.

-the player falls into an alternate world and one of their friends is immediately arrested for playing sports.

-in the thrilling sequel, a bunch of ghosts kidnap children in their amusement park in the Shadow Realm.

-now that I think about it there are like three different games where the player character starts by falling from the sky.

-the protagonist of the TV adaptation has died like seven times, been crucified in Paris, watched several apocalypses, and has watched SO many people die in front of him, and I don’t think he’s brought it up like, ever.

-in one game, you can go on a crusade to brutally conquer the entire continent.

-the player of one game is part of a time loop caused by a magic turtle that indirectly kills one of their friend’s mother. Or father. Depends on the version.

-the player’s adoptive father is possessed by the personification of hate and sends them directly to Hell, then tries to do it again when they get out.

-the mafia’s plan for getting their boss back after he left is to violently hijack a radio station and ask really nicely.

-a space agency’s plan for stopping a meteor form colliding with the earth is to open a wormhole to another dimension. this plan is stopped by a woman in a torn cape who destroys their equipment and robs them.

-the protagonist’s father had a godlike clone fuse his consciousness with a mouse, and fights a man who fused his own consciousness with an alien.

-the one a cult leader chose to be king of his new religion is an abused autistic boy with green hair and wearing a baseball cap.

-you literally rob people’s Pokémon in one game and you’re still the good guy. …is there a gender neutral version of “good guy?”

And now for a BONUS ROUND!

✨shit that has gone down in the Pokémon manga adaptation alone!✨

-terrorists blow up an ENTIRE port city!

-one protagonist spent two years trapped in a Dream Realm™.

-you think that’s bad? TWO protagonists are trapped in the depths of space for like six months!

-you think THAT’S bad?! FIVE protagonists are turned into stone for an indefinite time period!

-a little orphan girl is hypnotized and trapped in a suit of armor.

-they crucify the gym leaders???

-one boy is whipped in the face with a chain used to subjugate the Gods Of Time And Space and he’s literally fine.

-a father punches his son in the face and hurls him down a staircase. The American translation censors this as a lightning strike.

-this same son fell into the ocean because of an earthquake like five chapters after he was introduced.

-one of the current protagonists is basically Wednesday Addams.

-two protagonists were kidnapped by birds and raised by a supervillain.

-two villains try to destroy the environment of an entire country, cause an apocalypse, and are stopped by being trapped in a flying car which crashes.

-a mysterious supervillain saves them— SOMEHOW— and makes them fight to the death for a suit of armor. The one that survives causes the apocalypse AGAIN but dies.

-they both get brought back from Hell to save the world, and after that’s over, they turn to dust and go back to Hell.

-the supervillain who saved them the first time also summons like ten gods and dips out, never to be seen again.

In other words Pokémon is weird (affectionate).

[greenfiend]

The Significance of Lover’s Lake and Byler (Theory)

'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact

Yes we're lovers, and that is that (Heroes by David Bowie)

Part 2 here

(Warning: This post has mentions of sex (nothing graphic)… if you’re uncomfortable with that please do not proceed.)

So, Lover’s Lake has existed within the show ever since season 2, when Will mapped out the entirety of Hawkins. The lake is shaped like a heart (keep this in mind for later) thus the name “Lover’s Lake”. Makes sense within the town of Hawkins, but does not provide an explanation on a subtextual level. None of the “lovers” existing within the show has been associated with the lake (you could say Steve/Nancy but honestly it’s a stretch since they never actually rekindled their romance.)

This leads me to the question… why call the lake “Lover’s Lake” without associating any lovers to it?

Because maybe, there will be lovers connected to it… but they aren’t lovers… yet.

Okay, let’s get back to the shape. A heart. ❤️ Hm. Now which character within the show is most associated with hearts? Which character is even referred to as the heart by their love interest?

Mike.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he’s one part of the “lovers” here. Thus ruling out many other romantic pairings within the show. Leaving only two pairings: Mike/El and Mike/Will. I won’t go into detail on why I believe Mike and El will inevitably break up, you can read a lot of different analyses for that. So that leaves… Mike/Will. Not lovers yet.

Okay, here’s the part where I may get crucified. The definition of lovers.

Please put your pitch forks down for this.

Lovers usually refers to two people in a sexual relationship outside of marriage.

With all the subtext (and actual text) around sex and sexuality, and how we see Will struggle with his own sexuality, there is a likely conclusion here. He’s going to confront his sexuality. To do so, he will have sex. With whom? Well, with the one person he loves the most, the one he affectionately refers to as the heart… his best friend… Mike.

Now, where’s this going to happen? What better location than somewhere empty and secluded.

Reefer Rick’s lakeside house.

Now, who is “Reefer Rick”?

Also known as, Rick Lipton, Reefer Rick is a drug dealer who’s closely acquainted with Eddie.

He’s an enigma. We never see him. All that is known about him are the things mentioned by other characters.

He’s currently in jail apparently for dealing drugs. Also, he seems like a town pariah.

Also, he isn’t too keen on Fast Times (returned on time), at least not as much as “Cheech and Chong” (returned late each time.) That shot at 53 minutes and 5 seconds in Fast Times doesn’t do it for him, I guess. Unlike watching two guys get high.

His name choice is an interesting one.

“Reefer” Rick Lipton.

“Reefer” is a synonym for “marijuana cigarette”. Okay, makes sense, he is a drug dealer after all. But why the term “cigarette”? Well… there’s this other word that also happens to be a synonym for “cigarette”…

Then Rick… short for “Richard”. Richard is one of the few names out there with a nickname that is also slang for male genitalia… “Dick”.

Then finally… Lipton.

As Robin says, spelled like Lipton tea. Now, why would the writers use the name “Lipton” and even reference the tea company if there were no significance to it? They wouldn’t. We know this about them.

So why “Lipton”?

Let’s do a bit of research here, shall we?

The founder of Lipton tea was a man named Thomas Lipton.

Thomas Lipton just so happens to have been a closeted homosexual man who had a long term relationship with another man whose name is… *drumroll please*

William Love.

Okay, that can’t be just a coincidence right?

So moving on to Reefer Rick’s house.

We see glimpses of his living room, kitchen, and briefly his bedroom.

Jason and his buds are searching for Eddie and this involves looking under the mattress? As if, Eddie could successfully hide under there? Haha okay sure.

The angle of this shot is interesting too, because the bed is essentially being shown off to us.

This bed with a blue blanket and yellow sheets. Hm. Interesting.

Keep in mind this scene is essentially unnecessary. They could have easily shown Jason et al searching for Eddie without creating an entire new set for a room that’s only used in one single insignificant shot. Therefore, I do not think it’s unreasonable to believe this is used for foreshadowing.

Then we also get this shot from outside the window into the bedroom.

Look familiar? I thought so too.

Okay. Now for my theory/prediction.

As I mentioned earlier, Will is currently struggling with his own sexuality and feels a lot of shame and internalized homophobia. There’s also a lot of evidence that Mike is experiencing the same thing. Unlike Will, Mike conforms to the society’s expectations. He dates El, performing as her boyfriend. This is comparable to Nancy’s arc in season 1. She also conforms, and like Mike, leaves her best friend behind. We all know how that ended.

Now, what better way to wrap up the show than to have Mike correct his sister’s mistake? To have Mike reject societal expectations in favour of his best friend?

Okay so this is my theory.

Mike and Will have their first kiss an episode or two prior to 5x07. Tensions are high, but they’re busy fighting interdimentional monsters along side their friends.

Then comes 5x07 which somehow leaves Mike and Will alone by Lover’s Lake. The tension between them reaches an all time high, leading to a passionate kiss and then… more. Let’s just say it involves that blue and yellow bed.

At the same time as these two become the lovers they were meant to be, another character is being saved, or perhaps being brought back to life. Perhaps another red head, one we all know and love. Yes, a major parallel and contrast to Steve/Nancy’s sex scene in season 1, which featured Barb dying. But because Mike is rejecting conformity and being authentic, another character lives instead.

I mean, what better way to represent the beauty of the love and intimacy between these two boys? Their love is literally bringing back life to the world.

So yeah, basically I’m saying that Mike and Will expressing their love for each other will save Max.

This also wouldn’t be the first time that Max’s survival is correlated with their relationship. As I doubt that it was merely a coincidence that in episode 4x04 we have Mike’s genuine monologue to Will, then we have Max surviving Vecna. In contrast to 4x09, which features a forced monologue from Mike to El, followed by Max losing to Vecna and barely surviving.

So, as their bond strengthens, Max’s life bar goes up (so to speak). If something interferes with their bond, Max’s outcome is more dire.

The writers have also been associating Mike/El with death…

[Tumblr only allows a limited number of images so pretend we have one of El holding dead flowers and another image of the cut scene from 3x05 with Mike/El having a moment cutting to a dead body on the hospital floor]

Mike/Will on the other hand have been associated with life. The birds chirping in the background of their final scene together, the flowers blooming between them as they stand together. Plus, blue plus yellow does equal green after all. Which is the most commonly associated colour with life.

🌿🌱🌳

To conclude, I just want to say that I personally think this would be a nice way to end their arc. I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with associating Mike/Will with anything sexual… but the show has been doing this already. Whether you like it or not, Mike and Will have been shown implicitly and explicitly that they desire each other both romantically and sexually. The fact that they have sexual desire for each other does not minimize or trivialize their friendship and love, it’s an aspect of it… adding another dimension to their relationship.

Do I think or hope they would show anything pornographic? Absolutely not (do I even have to say this?) But explicit like Steve/Nancy? Yes. Do I think they’ll be only 14/15 years old when this occurs? No. This will likely happen after a time jump.

Being authentically yourself and not conforming is overall a major theme of the show. I mean it’s called Stranger Things after all. Will people be upset by the ending of this arc? Bylers included? Absolutely. Many people within the town of Hawkins and people watching the show will both show disgust for it. But that’s the point. It’s not “normal” and that’s okay. Different is good, and can be a beautiful and wonderful thing. We all just need to open our minds and hearts a bit. I’m not just talking about the GA; many Bylers are also closed minded and stuck in their ways too. Let’s all try to work on that, shall we?

Despite the opinions of others, Will and Mike will choose to love each other which will inevitably lead to their defeat of Vecna. Love concurs all. It may be cheesy and cliche but personally? I think that’s a beautiful thing. We all can learn to love more.

Anyway, would love to know your thoughts on this.

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

Part 2 here

[innerfare]

Ace Fluff // Angst Compilation 

Summary: A compilation of Ace angst and fluff from my multi character posts (You're Wounded, Brushing Your Teeth Together, Flowers, Type of Date, You See His Cabin, Fighting and Making Up, Paradise, Nightmares, I Love You, You're Jealous, Wearing His Hat).

Genre: Fluff // Angst

CW: None // SFW

———

You’re Wounded: 

Makes a light joke, inspects the wound himself even if there’s a doctor present, will help bandage you up if you need it. Pretends to be nonchalant about the entire thing, is panicking inside. Fully realizes the depths of his affection for you, is terrified to realize it’s love.  

Brushing Your Teeth Together: 

Never washes the sink out after he spits toothpaste in it. Always manages to get toothpaste on the mirror, too. And though he doesn’t consistently steal your toothbrush the way Zoro does, he has no qualms about using yours. 

Flowers: 

He’ll bring you bouquets with a lot of variety that the nice lady at the flower shop helped him put together. He usually builds these bouquets around sunflowers or orange lilies, and he gets very smug when his flowers brighten your day. He’ll also pick flowers for you, but he’s very conscious to only pick the ones that are not weeds. If he finds a field of sunflowers, you will be getting as many as he can carry. Never, ever visits you empty-handed, always brings at least a bouquet of flowers with him. Treats securing flowers for you like hunting for dinner and is always so proud of his bounty. 

Type of Date: 

Ace will take you either go karting or rock climbing, probably the former. He won’t admit it to you, not even to himself, but he is the sort to let you win, though he pouts when he loses. Like he’ll plan to beat you, but he just can’t stop himself from taking his foot off the gas just before he reaches the finish line. After you’re tuckered out, he’ll take you to a ramen place, where you end up starting several inside jokes. Once you’ve been dating for a little while, he’ll take you on longer dates to parks and even camping on the beach; anything outdoors. 

You See His Cabin For The First Time: 

His cabin is pretty sparse because he tends to travel light. He has a collection of animal teeth secured from a menagerie of wild beasts he’s taken down over the years, and he’s very proud of those teeth. He'll tell you about each one if you ask, is practically bursting at the seems with stories. He has way more animal teeth than he does clothing or books. Also has a pretty sick tiger pelt for a rug (he had intended it as a blanket, but he runs so hot he can’t actually sleep with it). He has Luffy’s wanted poster on his wall, and beside it, a note reminding himself to send money back to Dadan on the first of every month. Buried in the chest at the foot of his bed, he has the original ASL flag. 

Fighting and Making Up: 

His low self worth causes a lot of fights between the two of you. Sometimes, it’s you getting mad because his self doubt led him to, in turn, doubt you without realizing it. Other times, it’s him getting angry because you were a little too nice to another man and triggered his fear of you leaving, causing him to lash out. No matter who was in the wrong, Ace is consumed by the desire to apologize right away but ends up getting wrapped up in the fear of you rejecting his apology; thus, he acts all tsundere instead. But as soon as you approach him, usually with a piece of candy in hand as a sort of white flag, he melts, dragging you into his arms and holding you extra tight, saying in your ear how much he missed you even if you were only ignoring each other for an hour. He also has a habit of leaving candy for you as his own way of making up, but he won’t actually confront you with it, will just leave it somewhere you’ll find it as a way of reaching out and hope you start the conversation, much like a cat leaving a dead lizard on your porch. You two usually end up splitting the candy and talking about whatever happened, but only after you've finished kissing it better.   

Paradise 1: 

Meandering through the woods in search of the tallest, most impressive tree, him giving you a boost up to the first branch to get you started before climbing up himself, staying behind you the entire time so he can catch you in case you fall. Finally piercing the canopy and poking your heads up above the forest, his hand on your leg to keep you steady, the two of you grinning as birds fly by, basking in the afternoon sun. 

Paradise 2: 

Sitting out on the deck of the ship long after everyone else has fallen asleep, climbing into their lap once the two of you are alone, both of you staring up at the sky and picking out constellations in the night sky. The conversation eventually shifting from actual constellations to the ones you two invent on the spot, with wild fables to go along with them. 

Nightmares: 

It starts off normal, him approaching you on deck and wrapping his arms around you, intending to say a joke in your ear that will have you giggling and him grinning proudly. But then you shove him off and sneer at him. He doesn’t recognize you, doesn’t recognize the look on your face as you look up at him. You look disgusted, completely and utterly grossed out by the mere idea of his arms around you. You begin taunting him, saying all the things he’s used to others saying but never you. “You’re a monster. You were never supposed to be born. How could I possibly love someone like you?” When he finally wakes up, he doesn’t thrash around or cry. He’s completely paralyzed by the nightmare, by the fear, and accustomed to the feeling of rejection, even if it hurts more coming from you. Even when he wakes up, the nightmare isn’t really over.  

I Love You: 

Your first, more implicit confession came one night before you two were ever in a relationship. You noticed he was a little off and saw him slip away from the crew as they were drinking the night away. You found him sulking by the water and sensed he was hurting, especially when you asked to say and he told you he’d rather be alone. Before you leave, you tell him, “I just wanted you to know that I’m happy you’re alive.” You had no idea that it would strike a nerve, just got the feeling he needed to hear it, and this was confirmed by him grabbing you by the wrist as you walk away and pulling you into his arms. You continue finding implicit ways to tell him you love him such as, “I think the world is a better place with you in it,” and, “I’m so glad you were born,” and Ace is never really sure how to respond, but he soaks your words up like they’re sunlight and he’s a plant. This culminates in him blurting those three words out one day when you’re sitting in a tree together, Ace avoiding your eyes for fear you’ll reject him. When you lean in and kiss his cheek, instead, he almost cries (and he does when he’s alone later on, your love the purest thing he’s ever known). 

You’re Jealous: 

He collects people without trying, and often times, without realizing, either. Ace thinks he’s just making friends, but you see the way the women he laughs and shares drinks with are drawn to him like plants to the sun. He promises them freedom and adventure (and he has a very nice laugh), and you can see how it excites them. You don’t really mind it, knowing Ace well enough to see the way he holds those women at arm’s length, even if he seems close with them (such is the magic of Fire First Ace). But Yamato makes you jealous. It’s not hearing the way they laughed together but hearing the way they fought that gets to you. You know how Ace lives to fight and even just roughhouse, you know how he’s a rough and tumble guy, and you worry you’re not tough enough. Should you be punching his arm when he makes a joke? Should you be trying to trip him out on deck? What should you be doing? When you finally come clean with Ace about what’s been bothering you, he actually laughs. “If I wanted to be with someone who gives me hell, I’d be sleeping in Marco’s cabin every night. Besides,” he says, scooping you up in his arms, “I like being able to manhandle you.”

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[attic-club-sandwich]

How They are Handling your Disappearance Pt. 3

MC Returns

Ahh you guys i'm so glad you are enjoying this little series! I wasn't expecting so many of you to like it! But as requested by many, here is part 3 where MC returns to the present day timeline and reunites with the 7 brothers. This is a bit of a lengthy one because like... we are home! It's a little less angsty, a little more happy this time haha. Anyways, please enjoy! Reblogs and feedback are appreciated as usual!

Read Part 1: Brothers

Read Part 2: Side Characters

Word count: 3,057

Rating: T, slightly suggestive.

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rose divider by @/firefly-graphics

It feels like it has been forever since the day that you went missing, but the brothers never gave up their search. How could they when you were out there somewhere, possibly alone and scared? The thought of their little human wandering around the unknown gave them the motivation they needed to keep going. But after a long day of once again searching the Devildom up and down with no results, the brothers are settling down for the evening.

Lucifer

The Avatar of Pride is in his room getting ready for bed after a long day of searching for you. 

His wings are terribly sore from flying all day, so he lays on his bed sprawled out on his stomach, allowing his feathery wings to stretch out behind him.  

He rests his head in his arms, and sighs.

Yet another day of searching, but no results. 

Suddenly, he begins to feel a familiar tingling sensation of magic in the air that brings goosebumps to his bare arms. 

Before he had time to process what was happening, a flash of light filled his room, practically blinding him. 

After a few seconds, the light dissipates and there you are, standing in its place. 

Lucifer forgets all about his aching wings, and jumps up from the bed. 

At first, he hesitates, terrified that you’ll disappear again at any moment. 

“M-MC…? Is it really you…?”

His crimson eyes are wide as he takes in your appearance. 

You appear the same, but he's confused by the horns that now rest on your head, as well as a few other demonic attributes.

Just where did you disappear to?

Your face scrunches up and your eyes fill with tears. “L-Luci… yes, it’s really me.” 

Suddenly, his arms are around you, a million questions in his throat but unable to speak.

You whimper, taking in his scent. He smells freshly showered, the smell of his soap sending a wave of comfort crashing over you. 

“Luci… I missed you so much…I’m so sorry…”

His shoulders begin to tremble and he tucks his face into the crook of your neck. 

You feel wetness on your skin as he begins to cry. 

Have you ever seen him cry before?

Just how much have they all suffered while I was gone?

Your arms wrap themselves around his neck and you squeeze your eyes shut. 

You stand there in his arms, his wings wrapping themselves around the two of you protectively. 

He will never let you go again. 

After a few moments, he pulls away, staring into your eyes.

“MC, the days I've spent searching for you were endless… but never once did I give up. I’m very glad that I didn’t. Every second was worth my time.”

Suddenly his lips are on yours and you accept his kiss greedily. 

Kissing him was the confirmation you needed that you were home. 

“MC, please forgive me. You can tell me the details later, but right now I just need you. I need to know you are here and…real.” 

He spins you around, guiding you to his bed so the back of your legs hit the edge, causing you to fall back. 

He hovers over top of you, his crimson eyes full of love, adoration, and desire. 

You giggle through your tears, placing a hand on his cheek. “I love you so much, Luci.”

He smiles, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

“Words alone cannot express my love for you, little one.”

You give him a peck on the lips again. “We have a lot of time to make up for you know… where should we start?”

Lucifer gives you a mischievous grin. “I have just the thing in mind, darling. Something that has been long overdue.”

Mammon

Mammon returned to his bedroom shortly after arriving home. 

He had to check on his ravens who were also out searching for you while they were gone. 

His wings were sore as shit, and all he wanted to do was shower and go to bed. 

But you are more important. 

Throwing open his window, one of his ravens glides down to greet him. 

“Damn, ya didn’t find anything did ya?”

The raven hangs its head sadly, and Mammon sighs.

“Thanks anyways, I appreciate the help.”

Suddenly the raven begins to flap its wings wildly, cawing at something behind him. 

Mammon spins around, and his golden eyes widen in shock when he sees just who is appearing in the middle of his bedroom. 

It was you, clear as day. 

He’s speechless, unable to find the right words even though he’s been playing them on repeat in his head since the day you left. 

“Mammon!” you shout with tears in your eyes. You begin to run towards him, but he meets you halfway, scooping you up into his arms and spinning you around.

He sets you down again, and hugs you snugly to his chest. 

“MC…I… Shit. I-I missed ya so damn much…” he says with a shaky voice. 

You inhale his scent as he hugs you, which smells of sweat and leather. 

You’re home. He’s your Mammon. Finally…

“Mams, I’m so so sorry… I’ll explain everything I promise…”

He pulls you away from him, his golden blue gaze staring intensely at you.

“Damn right ya will! But for now…I don’t care..I just… I need ya so bad… I mean this can’t be real, right?”

You give him a small smile, taking his hand in yours. 

“I’m real, Mammon. I promise.”

His tanned skin is flushed as he pulls you with him to sit on his bed, hoisting you up onto his lap. 

He can’t hold back anymore as he plants a firm kiss to your lips. 

You accept it eagerly. 

Your tongues intertwine briefly before he pulls away, breathless. 

“I love ya MC, I’m so sorry I couldn’t do a damn thing…” 

You silence him with a kiss to the forehead. 

“It’s not your fault, Mammon. Please don’t cry…”

He notices your own lip quivering, and let’s out an amused snort through his tears.

“Don’t you go cryin’ on me either!”

His long, slender fingers run through your hair and you sigh.

His lips are on yours once more, a low growl rumbling in his chest. 

You can sense his overwhelming desire threatening to take over.

“Mammon’s got ya now, treasure. You’re safe with me. I’m never letting you go again.”

Leviathan

Throughout the search, Levi has been exploring every inch of the Devildom waters. 

From seas to lakes, he still could find no trace of you. 

Levi heads back to his room, a towel around his waist after Lucifer forced him to strip in the hallway so he didn’t track water through the house. 

Once he’s dried off and dressed again, he sinks down in his gaming chair, sighing as his aching limbs are finally able to rest. 

Tears welled up in his eyes, disappointed that he let everyone down again. 

Especially you.

I’m so useless, he thinks. 

A stray tear rolls down his cheek, and he wipes it away with his arm. 

A flash of light appears before him, and it sends a tingling sensation up his body. 

Wait a minute…that’s…!

His eyes are wide and his mouth gapes open as he looks up to see you standing there right in front of him.

“M-MC, I-Is it really y-you?!” Of course he’s a stuttering mess, but he can’t believe it.

He doesn’t know when he stood up, but suddenly you are slamming into him, wrapping your arms around his torso. 

“Yes, Levi. It’s me.” you sob, burying your face into his chest.

Your voice has him melting in your grip. 

He finally fully embraces you, burning his face into your hair. 

Your scent is slightly different,  and he can smell other demons on you. 

This sends a wave of envy over him, but he ignores it. All he cares about is that you’re home.

He, however, smells of the sea. 

“Levi, I'm so sorry… I promise I’ll explain. I just really need you right now. I’ve missed you so much…”

Leviathan only nods, his shoulders trembling from the sobs that are escaping him. 

You stay standing there wrapped in his arms, gently rubbing circles on his back. 

After some time, he calms down. 

His eyes are red and puffy and his face is swollen. Your heart aches for him. 

Suddenly, he grabs your hand, leading you over with him to his bathtub. 

You climb in together, and you sit in his lap. His tail curls around you, holding you in place. 

“M-MC…can I um, k-kiss you?” he asks, his tear stained cheeks becoming flushed. 

You nod eagerly, and he places a soft, gentle kiss to your lips. 

Your lips are the same as ever, soft and sweet. 

Levi is overwhelmed with affection for you. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you…” he mutters, rocking you gently in his lap. 

He peppers your face with kisses and you giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“I love you so much too, Levi. I’m so glad to be home…” 

He rests his head on your shoulder, purple strands of his hair tickling your cheek. 

“Please don’t leave me like that again, MC. I-I was so scared…”

The tremor in his voice causes fresh tears to form in the corner of your eyes. 

“Never again, I’m staying right here with you.”

Satan

Satan steps over the pile of books on his floor before flopping down onto his bed. 

His bedroom is in quite the disarray due to his last tantrum. 

He can’t help that he’s just so damn frustrated!

They’ve practically searched the Devildom inside out, and still… nothing. 

He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares out the window, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. 

He almost doesn’t notice the burst of light filling his bedroom. 

The air was practically vibrating with magic when he spun his head around to see the silhouette of a figure in the blinding light. 

He squints, trying his best to make out the form. Once the light dissipates, an unfamiliar feeling washes over him. 

Satan thought he’s finally experienced every emotion in his lifetime of being in the Devildom. 

But what he feels when he sees you standing there in his bedroom is indescribable. 

He gasps, immediately jumping up from his bed and hurrying over to you. 

Your eyes are locked on him, and he thought he noticed you flinch the moment he approached you. 

“MC… are… you okay? Where in the Devildom have you been?”

His voice is soft, but it trembles slightly.

He doesn’t expect answers right away, of course. 

Not when you are standing here in front of him for the first time in what feels like an eternity.  

You nod, trying to wipe away your tears. “Satan… It’s me. I-I’m home.”

The sound of his name leaving your lips after so long pushes him over the edge. 

He pulls you into his arms and he squeezes you tight, finally allowing his tears to fall. 

“M-MC… I'm so glad you’re home safe… I was so worried about you…”

You relax against his chest, finally processing the fact that this wasn’t the past version of himself.

After a few moments, you sniff, pulling away from him to gaze into his eyes. You notice a scar on his cheek, still healing from a recent fight he must have had. 

You gently trace your fingers over it, and he winces. 

“I’m so sorry Satan…the pain that I must have caused you all…” 

He shakes his head, glancing away. 

“I’m just so relieved you are home, MC. I don’t believe that whatever happened was your fault.” 

His fingers run through your hair and he kisses your forehead. 

“Can I…kiss you?” you ask, your cheeks flushing slightly. Normally you wouldn’t ask, but it’s been awhile. 

“Of course, kitten. But just know if you do, I may not be able to hold myself back from you much longer.”

You give him a smirk, and press your lips firmly to his. 

To finally kiss your Satan once more. 

He slips his tongue past your lips, and you groan. 

When you pull away, his emerald eyes are shining with passion. 

“Every book I read told me how to find you, but they never mentioned how to handle your return.” 

He moves you to his bed with him so you are straddling his lap.

“But I don’t believe I need any instruction as to what comes next. I love you, MC. Please allow me to express the longing I’ve felt for you all this time.”

Asmodeus

Asmo had made his way to his room for the evening with the overwhelming urge to climb into his silk bed sheets. 

But first he really wanted a bath. The thought of the warm water soothing his aching joints was very pleasant to him right now. 

He had made his way into the bathroom to start the water, the noise of the faucet drowning out the sound coming from his bedroom. 

Asmo thought he heard something, and he lifted his head to the door that connects from the bathroom to his room. 

He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. 

Was that a flash of light just now? Is it storming?

He furrowed his brow in confusion, and stepped slowly over to peek through the door. 

Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. 

There you were, standing right there in his bedroom. 

Your eyes were wide and looking around, still processing where you had appeared. 

Asmo gasps, forgetting about the bath and hurries over to you. 

“M-MC?!” he shrieks, pulling you into the tightest hug he’s sure he’s ever given. 

You begin to cry, tears falling down your cheeks and onto his shoulder.

“Shhh, MC. Don’t cry now, darling…” he coos, but his own tears are escaping him. 

He holds you close as you cry together. 

“Asmodeus…is… it really you? My Asmo?” you whimper. 

He’s confused by what you mean, but he doesn’t question it for now. 

“Of course my little lamb, it’s me. You’re home now…”

You sniff, pulling away from him slightly. “I’m so sorry Asmo, I swear I didn’t mean to leave you guys like that…”

Taking your hands in his, he shakes his head. “No no, hon, don’t blame yourself for this. I know there’s a very good reason, but you can explain later to all of us, okay?” 

You nod, wiping your eyes. 

“I was just about to get a bath. Would you care to join me, MC?”

The thought of taking a bath with Asmo right now feels…unreal. 

You couldn’t believe you were finally home with him. 

Smiling, he leads you into the bathroom. 

First, he steps out of his robe, and your face flushes. 

You’ll never get over how beautiful he is. 

Then it’s your turn.

You shiver as he begins to undress you, his fingers brushing over your skin. 

He smiles softly as he notices the goosebumps that begin to form on your body. 

“I’ve missed this so much. Let me get a good look at you, darling.”

His eyes tear up again as his eyes travel over your body, still in disbelief that you were standing right there with him again after so long.

“I need all the time I can get with you right now before my brothers find out you’re home.”

He takes your hand and helps guide you into the bathtub. 

You sigh as the warm water envelops you and he places you in between his legs with your back to him. 

You feel his arms wrap themselves around you and you blush.“I’ve only been dreaming of this moment with you, MC.” Asmo murmurs, attaching his lips to your shoulder. 

You whine as he continues to kiss up your neck. 

“I love you so much, Asmo…”

He smiles into the crook of your neck as he holds you close. 

“My dear, if anything came out of your disappearance, it’s how much I realized that I love you. Please, allow me to show you…”

Beelzebub and Belphegor

The twins were always together nowadays. 

They were both getting ready for bed in their room after their long day, neither of them wanting to speak about the disappointing results of the search. 

Belphie hugged his pillow to his chest as he climbed into bed beside Beel. 

He was struggling to stay awake, but he had a peculiar feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Of course, being his twin, Beel felt it too. It wasn’t hunger, or anything like that… It was…

“Belphie do you feel…”

Before he could finish, a burst of light filled the room, temporarily blinding them both.

The sensation of magic through the air sent shivers down their spines. 

Once the light dulled, they glanced up through squinted eyes to see… you. 

Wait, is that really…?

Despite the dull ache in their bodies, they both jump up.

“MC!” their violet eyes are wide as they gape at you, still trying to decide if this was real or a cruel hallucination.

But you seem just as surprised as they are. 

Suddenly, you feel yourself being pulled into a strong embrace. 

Belphie is squeezed into the hug next to you, and you both glance up to see Beel with tears streaming down his cheeks. 

“B-Beel… Belphie…I’ve missed you both so much…”

You sob, burying your face into Beel’s chest.

Belphie finally allows his tears to fall. I’m so lame, he thinks.

How dare you make him cry like this?

But he’s so happy. So relieved. 

Beel begins to move you both towards his bed, placing you right between him and his brother. 

You whimper as you feel their arms wrap around you. 

The thought of being able to do this again with them never even crossed your mind. 

You feel Beel nuzzle his face into your hair. 

You smelled…different. But there was no denying your familiar scent and it made his mouth water.

Belphie yawned, burying his face into your shoulder. 

“Beel and I had each other, but MC… you are our missing piece.”

His twin nodded, placing a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“Belphie is right. It feels right again with you here in between us.”

Your heart was so full. 

You smiled wide as you kissed both of their foreheads. 

“My boys…I love you so much.”

As you laid together, they took turns littering you with kisses and whispering sweet nothings into your ear. 

The feeling of their lips and their hands on your body has your head spinning, and you whisper their names between breathless gasps. 

After sometime, Beel turned towards you, a glint of mischief in his eyes. 

“I’m feeling a bit hungry…but for something different. How about you Belphie?”

Belphie immediately sensed where his twin was going and flashed him a smile back.

“I’m all of a sudden wide awake. What do you say you join us, MC? We want you to ourselves before we have to go back to sharing you.”

[anonymous-dentist]

Hi, I’m A.D., I’m a historian, and let’s talk about the nuclear bomb and why the one that exploded at the end of QSMP’s Purgatory Event probably didn’t kill all that many people upon initially exploding.

The nuclear bomb, as everybody knows, has only ever been used in a war twice. Both explosions were caused by the United States in their war against Japan at the tail end of World War Two in one final terrible last ditch attempt at ending the war through any means necessary.

Pictured above are the atomic explosions at Hiroshima (left) and Nagasaki (right.)

These are big huge clouds, which makes sense! Nuclear weapons, on average, have the strength of somewhere between 10 and 50 megatons of TNT. Hydrogen bombs, meanwhile, are WAY worse, with the first test coming in at a whopping 10 MILLION tons of TNT.

To put it in Minecraft terms for all you nerds out there, imagine Doomsday from the Dream SMP and how it razed an entire nation to bedrock level by using somewhere in the range of 20 stacks of TnT (if I’m remembering correctly.) A nuclear bomb, in these terms, would have blown L’Manberg up something like eight times over and then some.

So that’s. Bad. Right?

Well, here’s the QSMP’s bomb as was constructed by our favorite depressed detective, q!Maximus:

This bomb, notably, is underground. It was never dug up, it was just moved somewhere else. It isn’t above ground, and it never left this room. Watch the cutscene back (linked here), the bomb never left the room.

So this is where underground nuclear testing comes in.

Underground testing began in 1951, and it remains the only form of scientific nuclear testing not banned by the Limited Test Ban Treaty of 1963.

No big surprise, a lot of early underground tests were conducted by the US out in Nevada, where they kinda tested nukes legit fucking EVERYWHERE in the desert for a long time. Below are some photos, just for funsies:

What’s important about underground nuclear explosions is that they actually end up releasing less radiation into the atmosphere than regular nukes do. What happens beyond that depends on whether or not the radiation remains contained.

A contained explosion’s aftermath:

And an uncontained explosion’s aftermath:

There hasn’t really been many negative biological effects reported from these underground tests, which is really saying something considering how close to nuclear blasts the US had its guys at most of the time (see below)

The worst you got out of the underground tests was some radioactivity in cows’ milk, which is NOTHING compared to the effects of the above-ground nuclear testing at the Nevada Site:

So… what does this mean for the QSMP?

Well, if we’re going off of historical and scientific precedent, legitimately nothing substantial happened to the islands of Purgatory. There’s more of a risk of dying from the pre-established radioactive rain disaster effects as well as the earthquake and meteor disasters.

Fun fact! Underground nuclear explosions usually registered as weaker than actual fault line activity, aka actual earthquakes.

If Maxo’s nuke was dropped from above, the devastation would be greater. Nuclear fallout is no joke; even today, cancer rates in the American West are still pretty high from the above-ground testing conducted at the Nevada Site. The Bikini Atoll will never be the same after all the testing the US did there, either.

But, because this nuke seemed to have gone off underground, I can safely assume that the damage done to the islands above was minimal at worst. Maybe there’s a radioactivity leak, but everybody staying on the islands had already experienced radiation up to that point.

It’s important to remember this because several characters did stay behind on the islands, and the fandom is assuming them dead because, well. A nuke went off. But those characters aren’t dead yet (outside of q!Maxo, who was possibly directly above the nuke when it went off and thus would’ve been hit full-force by the explosion.) Many were on the beach, far from the the nuke. They’re fine, and you can prove it with history!

TLDR; the nuke from the end of Purgatory was assumedly set off underground, which would have negated a lot of its potential damage, so everybody’s fine except for the unfortunately deceased q!Maxo

[ryker-writes]

if you want, can you do a thing where the reader has a habit of scratching skin till it bleeds. It's a habit I have and do when anxious, yes it hurts but pain makes it easier to ignore thoughts about what ever is causing me anxiety. Also god forbid they have have acne of any bump in their skin cause that can and will be scratch off. This scratching dose leave scaring and they do it constantly cause this world is unfamiliar and magical so lord knows what could happen to you. You can use any characters you like tho I would like Vil for obvious reasons. If you do make this then thank you and have a fulfilling life.

of course dear anon! I can relate to this one a little bit because I have a lot of anxiety myself and used to do something similar. I don't do it much anymore so there's no need to worry, but I do encourage you to find a different way of ignoring the anxiety and/or seeking help fir anxiety. Anxiety is a very tough thing to deal with and if you need to talk to somebody about it, I will gladly listen <3

I decided to add some of my favorite TWST boys to this so apart from Vil, there's also Malleus, Silver, and Leona

Request rules and Masterlists

Vil:

Vil is very familiar with anxiety and some signs of anxiety

many people get anxiety before big performances after all

so when he sees you scratching your skin so much, he's able to recognize that it's probably anxiety

and he can see the small scarring on your skin too

Vil isn't going to stand for this

whenever he sees you start to scratch, he will give you something, anything, for you to hold in your hands

and he asks you to hold onto it for him for a little bit and take care of it

his goal is to get your hands doing something else even if it's holding the object or fidgeting with it or whatever

as long as your hands aren't damaging your beautiful skin

and I do mean he will give you anything

he's handed you his textbooks, his eyeliner, and even his Pomefiore crown once

being in a new and unfamiliar world is sure to cause a lot of anxiety

but he tries to be there for you as much as he can, and slowly help you adjust to the world around you

he's also roping you into his skincare routines now

Leona:

he's actually a very observant guy

so you bet he sees you scratching your skin, but he might not comment on it much unless he sees you scratching hard enough to break skin

at that point he's going to drag you to a place that's calmer like botanical garden and try to get you talking about it

he'll ask you about your world while keeping your hands away from your skin

basically anytime you start to scratch, he just moves your hands away

you may think he'll lose his patience doing this, but he actually doesn't

he just listens to you while laying down and keeps moving your hands away

and he listens very well

Leona has actually taken mental notes about your world

so when you start feeling anxious about being in a strange dangerous world again, he brings you to somewhere calmer again, but this time he tries to show you something you're more familiar with

he'll even have Ruggie bother Sam to make something if they don't have it in their world

Leona isn't the type to hover around you, but he usually tries to check in on you from time to time to make sure you aren't scratching too much

Malleus:

I'm gonna be honest, he probably doesn't know how bad anxiety can get in people

so originally when he sees you scratching, he doesn't think much of it

that is, until you start bleeding

then he is very invested in why you're scratching

you probably have to explain it to him

once you explain that it's anxiety and being in a new magical world causes a lot of anxiety, he is very concerned

he's noticed the small scars on your skin, but he didn't comment on it in fear of upsetting you

but now that he knows those are because of the anxiety...he's very determined to help you stop

Malleus starts hovering around you a lot more after finding out

he just worries about you

whenever he sees you scratching, he will do almost anything he can to help

like he goes through different strategies each time

his magic helps a lot with this

usually he tries to use his magic to make your surroundings look more familiar or he'll create something for you to focus on

and if he isn't able to help in time and you start bleeding, he's immediately there with his healing magic

Silver:

Silver knows a bit about anxiety, and he's seen you scratch at your skin a lot

but he doesn't want to assume it's anxiety

he will ask about it though after he notices your scars

and he's a very good listener and is very understanding

he can perfectly understand how being in an unfamiliar world causes anxiety

Silver does want to help you tho so you don't hurt yourself anymore

unlike some of the others, his method of helping isn't changing your scenery

whenever he notices you getting anxious and starting to scratch at your skin, he just grabs your hands and holds them in his own

there doesn't even have to be any communication, he'll just do it

and he has no problem holding on until you start feeling better

when facing something that causes a lot of anxiety, he'll stand next to you holding onto your hand

it's very nice and good reassurance that you're not alone while keeping you from scratching

even if he falls asleep while holding onto your hand, you're not getting it back until he wakes up

[pillow-anime-talk]

reaction to his s/o’s death.

request: hi! how would moriarty the patriot characters react to his girlfriends death? sorry my english is bad becaues it’s not my language. if you don’t want to do it, dont do. have a nice day/evening😁

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; romance; drama; angst; death and blood mention; pregnancy and cancer mention too; suggestive

includes: female reader ft. sherlock holmes, jack renfield, james bond, fred porlock, george lestrade {mtp}

author’s note: hiii, thank you so much!

— SHERLOCK

↘ Your death was sudden. Sherlock was not prepared for it at all. He wanted to spend time with you that day at your favorite cafe on the corner of one of London’s streets. He wanted to eat apple pie with you, drink some coffee or tea with honey, and at the end take a walk along the park, talking about plans for the coming weeks.

↘ Your smiling face and eyes full of love, which shone even more at the sight of sweets, were muffled after a short while by the screams of the barista and customers, as well as gunshots, probably the most ordinary pistol. This day was going to be great, but it ended with a shooting by a madman.

↘ The sight of your body covered in blood and your blurred eyes was something indescribable to the man. After everything, the only question left was: Why didn’t he take you somewhere else? The feeling of guilt overwhelmed Sherlock Holmes like nothing else.

— JACK

↘ Just a few hours earlier, you were teasing each other about what to have for dinner, and a little after five in the evening, when you and your dog went for a short walk around the tenements, Jack heard many screams. He quickly put the newspaper he was reading on the table next to his cup of coffee, and then went to the huge window to see what had happened.

↘ The man could only see the galloping horse, the driver shouting incomprehensible words to God, your dog – Sharon – curled up under… you lying in a pool of blood, dirt and mud.

↘ That was when Jack cried for the first time in ten years, since your wedding.

— JAMES

↘ Together with James and William, you went to fulfill a mission; it was a simple task. Talk to the suspect, make a deal, possibly admit guilt and consider the punishment for the sins that the person was supposed to have committed.

↘ At first, everything was going well. Harold Stein, a German who came to London five years ago, was a human trafficker, who he brought from Germany. Pimping was a huge crime, so the three of you decided that there was no other punishment for the man than to hand him over to the police. And it was probably these words caused him to become so furious and disapproving. In an instant, the flash of a knife was within your sight. You quickly jumped away from the criminal, and then, with the will to fight, you wanted to stop him by saying that nothing would improve his situation.

↘ Your good spirit and aversion to aggression caused the knife to move towards you in an instant, and the next thing you felt was cold in your hands and toes. Looking down at the knife stuck straight into your chest, you just laughed. Flying bullets, fights, and poison had never defeated you… it was just a knife. Seeing this, James went into a rage, and even the calm and powerful William couldn’t stop him.

— FRED

↘ Fred understood the concept of death, he had dealt with it for a very long time, especially working for the Moriarty brothers.

↘ However, he never understood and never would understand the concept of the death of someone close to him, beloved, so precious. You were so young, so beautiful and had your whole life ahead of you; you wanted to write, sing, dance ballet, you wanted to open your own café, start a family with Fred in the future, have a pet and a garden where you would grow your favorite vegetables for salads or dinners. And yet cancer, for which a cure had not yet been invented, took you away from Fred in half a year.

↘ And although he had seen your life fading away for the last six months, at the funeral he could not hold back his tears and emotions; even Louis, even his mother, even God himself could not calm his suffering soul or soothe the longing that was visible in his gaze when he kissed your forehead for the last time in the coffin before placing it in the grave.

— GEORGE

↘ To George, you were a real princess, real Queen. And when you got pregnant with your first child, your husband couldn’t have been happier; a beloved woman, a home together, a long-awaited baby that would bear his surname, and also plans for the future like a secure old age and a group of grandchildren around the two of you sitting in old armchairs. Could it have been more beautiful?

↘ It certainly could have been... different. George had many enemies, but when you entered a relationship with him, you knew what to expect. So for five years you lived quietly, not sticking your neck out too much, enjoying being his life partner and future mother. However, everything changed on that one rainy night, when your beloved stayed at work longer than usual, wanting to finish some paperwork. And that’s when someone broke into your apartment. At first, they took what seemed valuable and expensive; your necklace, pocket watch, a bottle of red dry wine, a cigar, your grandmother’s rings, and also gold in small bars. And you would probably have survived that night if not for the instinct that told you to wake up and check if your husband had already returned.

↘ Instead of George, however, you saw a stranger who, upon seeing you, immediately attacked you with a vase standing on the dresser. In a moment, you found yourself on the floor with a terrible headache and spots before your eyes. The only thing you could think about was your husband and child in your belly. Unfortunately, your beloved returned too late and the sight he found was worse than all the nightmares he had dreamed of throughout his life. Guilt, anger, sadness, mourning, a desire for revenge… And in all of this, emptiness and loneliness...

[sebastianswallows]

Hello! Could I offer you a prompt? I often see fics about Ominis experiencing sight for the first time, but how about Slytherin!MC being the one afflicted with a temporary blindness, and now having to rely on Ominis for guidance, 'seeing' the world from his perspective? Maybe as a result of some unruly student's potion experiment? Thank you for your time and work!

Hello, nonny!

Thank you so much for an Ominis prompt! I love to write about this sweetest boy. And sorry this took so long, my dear 💚

Oh my though, I guess I don't read fics with him often enough, because I haven't noticed that many where he experiences sight. Not sure how I'd feel about those, because it... takes away from his character, sort of. I don't know.

Anyway! I have a fluffy little fic for you 😘 Hope you enjoy it!

I wrote it that it was all Garreth's fault, because of course.

— PAIRING: Ominis Gaunt x F!MC

— WARNINGS: none

— WORDCOUNT: 3.8k

She cursed Garreth all the way to the Hospital Wing. The classroom was left in deathly silence after the Gryffindoor’s latest experiment had literally exploded in her face. Professor Sharp seemed… worried, but not very shocked. Clearly, things like that had happened before — especially since Garreth had started studying at Hogwarts. For his part, the boy seemed horribly contrite, or so he sounded as he fretted over her. She suspected at least half of his regret was due to the inevitably harsh detention he had to look forward to — perhaps something even worse, if the damage to her eyes proved permanent.

As she made her way through the castle, leaning on Sebastian and Natty — who both insisted to go with her, the sweethearts — she could think of nothing else. She couldn’t see anything. The last thing she had seen was Garreth’s smouldering cauldron where he was pointing out the way a particular piece of snail shell was melting, and then a great big flash of green, then blackness. She had thought for a moment that she’d fainted, but then she realised her eyes were open. By the time they reached the Nurse, her heart was still pounding at such a frantic rate she thought she was going to be sick.

“Well, she’s blind alright,” said Nurse Blainey after performing a few charms.

“What did you think? That I was lying?!”

“I will wring Garreth’s scrawny little nec—”

“Watch your tongue, Mr Sallow.”

“Can you fix it?” asked Natty in the most politely-frustrated voice she’d ever heard.

There followed a long discussion about what had caused it, which required them to bring Professor Sharp there — who, to his shame, hadn’t exactly been aware of what his students were doing — then Garreth — who also wasn’t sure what had happened with his potion, but he could at least list the ingredients he’d used.

All the while, she waited there in silence, hearing voices all around, footsteps echoing close and far, and tense, worried conversations. The Nurse had placed her in one of the beds in the corner while they decided what to do with her. Natty and Sebastian stayed by her side, quarrelling over what potions they could brew to cure her until she had to tell them to shut up.

By the time classes were done for the day, the Nurse had reached the conclusion that Garreth’s failed experiment, while exceedingly dangerous, would not affect her sight for long. Only a few weeks.

“A few weeks?!”

“Yes, two or three. Four if you’re unlucky.” She could hear the woman shrug.

“What am I supposed to do for three weeks? How can I study? How—”

“If I’m not mistaken, you’re not our only blind student. I’m sure Mr Gaunt can be of some help to you during this time.”

She recoiled at hearing it. “I don’t want to be a burden to—”

“Nonsense,” said Sebastian from somewhere behind her. “Ominis would do it happily!”

“I would,” said the boy. A pause followed as everyone else realised he’d entered the room. From the sound of it, he was standing a few feet in front of her.

The Nurse was happy with this arrangement, which meant fewer responsibilities for her. Professor Sharp breathed a sigh of relief, after which he promised to write to her parents and inform them. Sebastian and Natty, meanwhile, were disgustingly supportive, trying all the while to cheer her up. She shunned all of them, and would only go back to the Common Room with Ominis.

“Do you wish to have dinner first?” he asked quietly as they walked out of the Hospital Wing arm in arm.

“I’m not hungry,” she mumbled. “…Wait, are you?”

Ominis chuckled. “Could send Sebastian out to the kitchens to bring us something… He would do it. Careful, stairs.”

They went down step-by-step, and all through the castle, and after what felt like too long they finally made it to the Slytherin Common Room. She knew she was slowing them down, and Ominis didn’t deny it, but he was supportive the whole way — and not in that fretful, exaggerated, compensatory way Sebastian and Natty were, and not in the anxious manner of Garreth…

If Ominis was worried about her condition, he didn’t show it. As cool and calm as the lake, as sturdy as the rock Hogwarts was built on, he was by her side from the first moment.

The first order of business, while Sebastian fetched them a late dinner, was for her to learn the echolocation spell Ominis used to walk around.

“No, don’t hold it pointing down,” he said as he guided her hand. “Straight forward is better.”

“But what if I stumble onto something?”

“The spell will detect it in time.”

“Well I’m not feeling anything yet…”

“Just… try to cast it harder.”

“Cast it harder? You’re terrible at teaching spells. I want Sebastian back.”

“Yes, well, Sebastian can’t cast it,” mumbled Ominis.

“What can’t I cast?” asked the boy as he dashed into the Common Room.

She could already smell ham and cheese and the salty-sweet aroma of cold sausages. Two plates clinked as Sebastian placed them on the table by the fireplace, where she and Ominis were standing.

“My echolocation spell.”

“Ah yes, can’t cast that,” he said, followed by the soft floof of him plopping on the sofa.

They didn’t make much progress on that first night. His wand was far more accustomed to performing it than hers — but the promise of being able to learn it helped her sleep that night, after an hour or so of crying in fear and anger.

Waking up the next day was disorienting. She felt herself wake, she felt her eyes open, but not seeing anything seemed so… unreal. She nearly panicked all over again. Being in the dungeons, there was no sunlight to feel on her skin to let her know whether it was even morning, but then she heard the other girls shuffling around the room.

Imelda led her to the washroom, and later helped her dress — and for once, she didn’t have a snarky thing to say.

“Must be quite a nightmare,” the girl commented in what she perhaps imagined to be a sympathetic tone. “Can’t imagine flying in this state…”

“Yes, well, thanks Imelda, neither can I…”

She was relieved to hear Ominis’ voice again when she came downstairs.

“Over here!”

“How did you know it was me?” she asked, arms stretched in front of her in what she was sure must’ve been comical.

“You have a distinctive magical echo.”

“Do I…?”

“And Sebastian told me.”

“Morning,” the boy grinned from behind his friend.

Still, Ominis must certainly have been good at detecting where she was, because she felt his hand cup hers within seconds.

“How do you do that?” she asked.

“Just followed the sound of your voice,” he smiled.

“It all sounds the same to me…”

“You might think it does now, but eventually you’ll find it’s easy to tell distance by sound… The whole castle has very good acoustics for this sort of thing, in fact.”

“You make it seem so easy,” she smiled, her eyes tearing up at the sheer scope of all she had to learn to just survive the next few weeks.

“I promise you’ll find it easy too,” said Ominis, placing his warm hand on top of hers as she held his arm. “Open fields, now that can be an issue. But inside, here? You’ll get used to it in no time.”

Sebastian followed them for breakfast, but walked at a bit of a distance, letting Ominis explain things. Going to the Great Hall was a bit faster today than going to the dungeons had been the day before. She walked a bit more confidently already…

Breakfast was spent learning more about judging distance by sound.

“Here, now you try,” said Ominis, handing her a jug of pumpkin juice and an empty glass.

He’d just demonstrated how easily she could guess when a cup was close to filling by the sound the liquid made as it was poured — from a deep sound to a high one. She filled it just the right amount.

“That’s very good!”

“Really?” she grinned.

Feeling around the plate with the cutlery was done easily enough, but finding out what each pile of food held relied more on her sense of smell…

“Ah, I… wouldn’t recommend that.”

“What did I just pick up in my spoon?”

“What does it smell like to you?” asked Ominis with a little smile.

“Mashed potatoes…?”

“Well, I just hope you like parsnip porridge.”

And getting food onto her plate presented another difficulty… A few sausages rolled away before she gave up and picked them up with her hands rather than the fork, her knife kept slipping and clanging loudly on the plate whenever she cut into something, and her fingers landed in mustard sauce more than once.

After a little trial and error and a bit more cursing, she finally managed to get something she really liked. She moaned with pleasure, but it was cut short by Sebastian’s giggling.

“Whot?” she asked with her mouth full.

“Nothing,” he said with an obvious smile.

“What did you take?” asked Ominis curiously.

“It’s a seed cake,” she said defensively. “Just a little syrupy, that’s all.”

Sebastian laughed into his fist.

“What?”

“Nothing!” he said again. “Just… always thought you hated spotted dick.”

“Ewww!”

By the time breakfast was over, she was more angry than upset. Ominis considered it an improvement — at least she wasn’t on the verge of crying anymore. He supported her elbow with his hand as they walked out together. When the sounds of students passing by got louder, he felt her clinging to him more.

“Don’t be nervous…”

“Oh,” she said, her hand relaxing, “sorry.”

“It’s not just that,” he chuckled. “I could hear your breathing pick up, and your footsteps too, as if you were stomping on the ground.”

“It’s that obvious?!”

“It is,” he nodded. “For instance, how do you think I feel now?”

She sighed, feeling completely at sea as they walked together to class, in a direction she couldn’t tell, surrounded by noisy students — and Ominis was testing her.

“I don’t know… Calm, I suppose.”

“Why is that?”

“Your voice is low, and your arm is steady, and… and I can hear you smiling when you speak.”

“That’s quite good,” he chuckled.

What Ominis didn’t say was that he also felt worried about her, and worried about how useful he could be in these following weeks, how good of a guide or a teacher… He thought that it was obvious from his clipped tone and his lingering silences, but was glad to be proven wrong.

The first class of the day was, predictably, horrible. They had Charms, and the girl could scarcely follow the instructions on wand movements, had no idea whether the egg she was given had been shrunken and enlarged according to instructions, and was left feeling around for it awkwardly in order to tell where it was.

“How do you even know where to point your wand?” she sighed frustratedly.

“That’s where the echolocation spell will come in useful,” said Ominis from beside her. “It’s not just the direction, but the depth as well, how far something is from you.”

“We have to practice that more,” she grumbled, waving her wand uselessly. “Undercroft, after class.”

They ended up spending every break in their schedule that day in their secret room, with Ominis placing random obstacles in front of her while she tried and tried and… finally succeeded in making her wand cast the spell. It was just before they had to go to dinner.

“I did it!”

“Not bad,” said the boy — and she could hear his voice approaching, could hear his steps resounding in tighter and tighter echoes. “The cast is still pretty weak though…” She could tell he had his hand in front of her wand, judging the strength of the pulse for himself.

“It’s such a strange sensation… I can feel the shape of your hand in mine, through the wand, but it’s…”

“It’s a bit blurred, isn’t it?” he smiled.

“Yes, as if… as if through a fog.”

“Well, I’ve never seen fog,” Ominis chuckled, “but I’ll take your word for it.”

They went to dinner together and this time she walked on her own, holding her own wand in front. She grinned at being able to sense Ominis’ own echolocation spell, like rings on the face of a lake meeting each other.

“Can you feel people’s features with this spell?” she asked quietly as they entered the Great Hall.

“Not particularly… The size of someone, perhaps, but it is not so fine as to tell you what somebody looks like.”

“Can you tell the difference between, for instance, Sebastian and Garreth?”

“Naturally,” he laughed. “Garreth smells of toxic fumes. Sebastian smells of Confringo.”

Although that dinner was still speckled with splashes of sauce and spilt pumpkin juice, each meal got easier as the week progressed. Her echolocation spell, as well, got stronger. She wasn’t exactly confident enough to run through Hogwarts’ halls, but she found it easier to avoid running into people — and not get bumped into either, as her hearing became better at picking up all motions around her.

Attending class was easier too. She soon learned how to take notes on her own, although she wasn’t sure when she’d get the chance to read them. Ominis taught her a neat trick of holding onto the inkwell and use her fingers to precisely dip her quill in it. To tell whether she’d taken enough ink, she could test it on her finger first and see if the tip felt wet.

“You’re sure you don’t want a self-writing quill?” he asked.

“I want it,” she said, but first I want to do this on my own.

Ominis smiled. “And keep track of the parchment too. Find something as a placeholder for where you left off. Don’t want to write on top of what you’ve already written.”

With his guidance, she mastered a fairly simple system of holding onto the parchment with one hand, finger poised on her last line, and then cupping the inkwell with the other before dipping her quill.

What she still had trouble with well into the second week was spellcasting.

“How… just… how?” she hissed, smacking her wand up and down during a particularly troublesome Transfigurations class.

She heard a subtle laugh, and knew that it was Ominis. “Having trouble?”

“How am I expected to transform this damned ferret into a feather duster when the damned thing keeps moving?!”

Ominis had mastered the spell quickly, she thought, as she could hear no more animal squeaks from his side. About half the class had finished, judging by the mix of sounds from satisfied students and ferret trills.

She felt a warmth approach her from the side. Ominis took gentle hold of her wrist.

“Here,” he said, “maintain the location spell, and do the motions of the transfiguration spell from your wrist.”

She tried it a few times, his hand constantly around her wrist.

“Listen to where the animal is too, don’t lose track of him in case he runs away.”

She grit her teeth and frowned, ready to give up, but with Ominis’s help, she finally managed to do it just before the class was done.

“Bloody annoying,” she sighed, dropping her wand to the desk and wiping her sweaty palm on her robes. “Thank you, Ominis,” she mumbled. “Doubt I could’ve done it without you…”

“You could have,” she heard him smile. “Just would’ve taken you longer.”

To help calm her nerves, the boy suggested they go for a walk around the lake.

They walked and walked until the sun set. They could feel it as the air cooled all around them, as the evening grew loud with nightbirds, as the grounds became silent with all the other students gone inside the castle…

It felt strange to walk beside Ominis like that, without a word, without a touch, only the quiet sound of his footsteps in the grass. The water of the lake lapped on the shore beside them in lazy little waves, stirred perhaps by the creatures underneath or the light breeze. It set her senses on fire to feel how different it was to have that large, cold body of water on one side, and the warm shape of Ominis on the other — because she could feel it, could feel every detail. Even the wet earth underfoot and the grass, the dead leaves and dry branches, they all had a scent of their own that filled her mind more than the mere image of them ever could. Although she missed her sight very much, she could not deny that she felt more connected to everything around her in this way…

Her hand reached out and took Ominis’s arm — his right one, where he held his wand. Not even needing to ask, he switched it to the other hand and held her palm in his.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, but from his tone, she could tell he wasn’t worried.

“No,” she said. “Just wanted to feel your hand.”

“Well, there it is,” he chuckled. “Bit clammy… Sorry about that. Always gets that way when I hold my wand too long.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Their fingers interlinked as they kept their slow walk around the edge of the Black Lake. A thought kept swirling in her head, and she was torn between giving voice to it or keeping it to herself. She didn’t know if Ominis could tell, but —

“What’s on your mind?”

— of course he could.

“How did you know?”

“I swear I can hear you thinking sometimes. It’s the same with Sebastian.”

She laughed, but said nothing.

“So?” he asked again. “What is it?”

Her hand tightened slightly around his. “I was wondering if you might seem to the touch the same way you look. The face, I mean, and all that…”

“Ah,” he said, his tone teetering somewhere between amused and nervous, “you want to try to… ‘see me’ with your hands?”

“Could I?” she asked, her face turning slightly toward him as if she could better detect how he was reacting to all of this.

“Only if I could do the same,” said Ominis with a tight smile.

They reached as far around the lake as the grounds permitted and sat together on one large, smooth rock. Beneath them, they could hear the lapping of the water, quiet and gentle, and owls hooting far off in the woods. It felt almost as if she were floating on air, cross-legged, far from the ground, with nothing surrounding her but the cool night.

They tucked their wands in their pockets and fiddled their thumbs, both too timid to start.

“Well, you asked,” said Ominis after a prolonged nibbling of his lips, “so you go first.”

“Alright,” she sighed, her mouth pulled up into a nervous smile.

She stretched her hands before her gently and was almost startled when they reached his chest. His school uniform was much like hers, a little rough, but well tended to. Moving upwards, she reached his neck, and quickly skipped it until she felt the smooth line of his jaw with both her hands. For no reason at all, her eyes closed. Perhaps it felt more peaceful that way…

His chin was delicate and pointed, leading up in soft angles to his ears. Moving inward, her thumbs traced his high cheekbones, his temples, his arched brows, then dipped delicately over his eyes — his were closed as well. She smiled as she tickled the surface of her fingers with his long lashes.

“Well?” asked Ominis. “Is there a resemblance?”

“I think so,” she smiled. “You look the way you feel.”

“Oddly poetic of you,” he chuckled.

Her hands slid slowly down his face, framing his slightly long nose, falling then to his lips, soft and full. She gasped at feeling them, noting things she never realised before: how delicate they were, how defined, and slightly dry… She traced down to his chin again when she felt them part.

“Yes, I suppose that’s you,” she joked. Her giggles filled the tense air around them. She could feel him smile against her fingertips.

“My turn now,” said Ominis.

She squeezed her hands in her lap as she waited, and then the boy surprised her by cupping her face and slowly bringing them together, covering her like a mask.

He felt her from chin to forehead, taking in the full plains of her features, before he began to touch them each in part. He brushed her eyebrows upward, traced the shape of her eyes, ran his finger delicately down her nose to the tip, and brushed his thumb against her lips while his other hand caressed a broad path from her forehead to her jaw. She felt very thoroughly known after this…

They walked back to the castle in silence, hand-in-hand. As they did, she noticed in herself a feeling of… peace, of not caring anymore that she couldn’t see. She missed the colours of everything around, of course, the beams of light, the peaceful glow of the Slytherin dorms, the star-filled sky at night, but she didn’t feel like she lacked anything anymore.

That made it all the more shocking when, three and a half weeks into her blindness, she began to see vague shapes of light. Ominis’ thin face bloomed into a smile when she told him. She could see it in spite of the cloudiness of her vision.

She still used the echolocation spell to get around, and breakfast became easier, but the blending of shapes and colours so overwhelmed her senses that often she would close her eyes when she wished to concentrate.

It was probably for the best, as she fell behind on her coursework and had never gotten to practice reading Braille with Ominis. Her notes, she now could tell, were atrocious, and her fingers were horribly stained even now.

As the days passed, her vision gradually improved, and by the end of the fourth week, she was almost back to normal. Her eyes teared, unused to all the details.

“Come now, no need to cry over it,” said Ominis with an awkward laugh. They were returning from another visit to the Hospital Wing, where the Nurse had checked her progress.

“I’m not crying,” she sniffled. “How could you tell, anyway?”

“You mean aside from your voice being all choked up and your breathing irregular? Just a lucky guess.”

“I’m just feeling… too much, I think.”

Ominis took her hand in his. “I know,” he said with a small smile. “I’ll miss it too.”

And she didn’t need to ask what he meant.

[bleed-more]

My Updated Headcanons for Seth Wilson

Since a lot of my attention is on Seth right now, I'm writing some updated headcanons for him with things I've learned over the past 4 years! I'm starting with my HCs with evidence and will write my HCs without evidence later >:3c

HEADCANONS WITH EVIDENCE:

- Seth's dog name is Link (Joseph mentioned in a livestream that's Seth the actor's dog's name so in typical MH fashion I imagine dog actor Link also plays dog character Link)

- Seth is about as tall as Brian (this isn't even really a hc but I used to draw him short so I wanted to clear that up)

- Seth did all the TTA entries that include fried images and red motifs (based off of Night Mind's theory that Tim-themed entries are black and white, Brian-themed entries are stereoscopic, and Seth-themed entries are deep-fried/red. They used these colors to both communicate who's speaking AND to let the recipient know who the message is for.)

- Seth used to be Christian but fell out of it by Season 2 (I think Seth is responsible for all the Christian iconography in the first season i.e. stigmata, ark, deluge, etc. considering neither Brian nor Tim were part of TTA yet, and he slowly abandons that faith because.......)

- ...Seth thinks he is a messiah of some kind (from TTA's "Forecast" where he says "AMIAPROPHET." [TW DEAD ANIMALS & ANIMAL CRUELTY FR PLS READ WITH CAUTION] Forecast uses footage from the USSR's "Experiments in the Revival of Organisms: 1940" in which you see a disembodied dog's lung being inflated and deflated by a machine in an effort to keep a dismembered dog's head alive. I don't think it's a coincidence TTA used a dismembered dog to refer to Seth ((or what Seth has become)) and that Seth is both alive(-ish) and has saved others from death, but only in the same fucked up corrupted way you see in the USSR's footage. Which leads me to...)

[END TW]

- ...Seth is trapped somewhere between the line of life and death and is sticking around for the unfinished business of revenge killing Alex (in the TTA entries, while many things are convoluted and unclear, one thing that is very consistent is TTA's hatred of Alex. Seth is vengeful for the death of himself, the attempted and successful murders of his friends. From TTA's "Decay" where Seth is clearly addressing Alex, he says "HE[Jay] WILL LEAD ME[Seth] TO YOU[Alex], LEAD ME TO DEATH[because his job will be done then], LEAD ME TO THE ARK[salvation and an end to his and Alex's suffering])

- Seth is the one responsible for Brian, Tim, and Jay surviving during Alex's first murder attempt (Alex couldn't bring himself to *actually* kill his friends back in 2006, so he lured them to the park and used blunt force trauma to knock them unconscious hoping leaving them for dead out in the park would be enough. Seth, however, had already caught on that something was wrong after Sarah's disappearance (I am going to write a whole thing about this eventually hehehe) and so he knew to be at the park, and after Alex left them, Seth made sure they were safe (there is also info I have here about a lake but that's worth a whole other post, send an ask if you're curious <3)

- And finally, Seth had been well ahead of everyone else in figuring out what was going on (Seth was the camera and tech guy, so it would make sense he would be the first to see what's happening on these cameras, and investigating what might be causing all of this. Seth was the one who coined the term OPERATOR. He understood Alex's actions were being influenced by this creature Seth was seeing while editing Marble Hornets. And I also think Alex knew Seth was catching onto his murder attempts, and that's why Alex took no chances and shot Seth (the first instance of Alex using a gun in the series) instead of hitting him over the head with a pipe and leaving him for the Operator like the others.)

I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY OF YOUR OWN THEORIES THIS WAS REALLY FUN TO WRITE AND I CANT WAIT TO MAKE PART 2 <3

[phoebepheebsphibs]

.Dead asleeP.

Title: Chapter 1: COMA Prompt: You were peacefully sleeping when you suddenly wake up to the sound of a heart monitor steadily beeping somewhere nearby, and realize you are in the med-bay with no memory of what happened prior to this. // After watching movies with your siblings all night and passing out in the tv room, you wake up to find that you're alone. What happened? Fandom: ROTTMNT Word Count: 1,927 Author: PhoebePheebsPhibs Rating: Gen Characters: Leonardo, minor Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael (disembodied voices) Warning: Derealization, nightmare-ish stuff (Leo is stuck in a dream) Summary: Leo enjoys a calm sleepover with his family... but when he wakes up in the middle of the night, everyone is gone, and the world starts to turn upside down... Notes: No Beta, We Die Like Gram-Gram! More chapters to follow (5 more, to be exact)

@shr00mi3writefight @tmnt-write-fight @that-0n3-shr00mi3

Posted on AO3 <-

Leo missed having nights like these. The five of them, watching movies late into the evening and early into the mornings. Bowls of popcorn emptied within the first fifteen minutes, stacks of pizza for them to scarf down, liters upon liters of soda, boxes of candy for everyone to enjoy, and plenty of pillows and blankets so that not a single square foot of the concrete and metal-grated floor was exposed. The classic Hamato-O'Neil sleepover extravaganza.

Leo battled April with their typical pun battles, where one would make a joke using wordplay, and the other would have to follow suit with a similar or related word. Leo started off saying that all her jokes would be 'cheesy'. April assured him they were all 'gouda'. Leo retorted that her jokes 'were like swiss cheese -- too many holes'. And so on and so forth, gaining complaints and boos from the rest of the group as they went on. Raph brought out all his cuddlies and stuffies, letting each sibling take one for comfort... should they decide to watch any scary movies. Their energy came in waves, the first dissipating after the first J.J. film. They paused, had some food and snacks, watch some 'Try Not To Laugh' challenges, failed the challenges, and then the second wave hit. Donnie set up a special game he'd heard about and fixated over for them all to play. At some point, Mikey started laughing too loudly and accidentally screamed in April's ear. Leo was making fun of the characters with his colour commentary and annoyed Donnie into pushing him off the couch. Raph decided it would be cool to see if a mint in Vitamin Water and shaking it would have the same effect as a Mentos in Diet Coke. News flash, it did.

So the night was going really great!

Leo cackled as he pulled Donnie off the couch with him. Raph panicked and dropped the bottle once it started foaming and exploding, and April grabbed the drink and used it as a weapon against them. Donnie started a massive pillow fight and created a battlefield. Once their second wave of energy had depleted, and the pizza boxes were all but empty, they settled down to continue the movie night. It was really nice, having everyone over together like this. Leo tried to recall the last time they'd gotten together like this and had a massive celebration...

Mikey laughed as he pointed to the screen, cackling madly. Raphael had fallen asleep watching Jupiter Jim's Pluto Vacation 4 and broken the coffee table with his face again. Donnie and April groaned loudly, but Leo and Mikey high-fived with glee.

Just another fun family night. One Leo was so extremely grateful for. Though, he didn't have any real need to feel that way. The Shredder was locked away, Big Mama was not causing any problems (that they knew of), and his family had never felt closer since Splinter had shared the a good portion of his past with them. Everything was... perfect. Sure, things had been kind of rocky before. Concerning Leo's portals needing more experience, the secrets that Splinter kept from them about their origins, Draxum being a villain, and the Shredder's resurrection. Among other things.  They needed a night like this. To unwind, relax, take it easy and have a laugh. They were all just teenagers, after all.

Leo leaned back in his sleeping back, propped up with pillows to form a cocoon throne. He chuckled softly at Raph's light snoring, Mikey drawing pictures on his face, April putting curlers into Mayhem's hair and through Donnie's mask tails...

His eyes grew heavy.

Leo fell asleep.

"Leo, wake up, Leo!"

"Can he hear us? I think he can --"

"How do we know this will work?"

"It just will. It has to."

"Don't give up on us, Leo... C'mon, get up... get up...!"

"Leo?"

Leo's eyes fluttered open. He yawned, and turned over in his sleeping bag.

"Wake me'up... wh'n iz... morn'n....."

No one responded. The lair was silent. Leo couldn't even hear the movie playing.

He sat up slowly, glancing around to see if the others had all fallen asleep as well. No one was here. The projector was still running softly, but there was no sound, no image. Just TV snow -- static buzzing across the screen as the machine whirred and whined with exhaustion. Huh. Weird, he'd never known the projector to do that... Leo tilted his head in confusion. The screen blinked at him oddly. The static took soft shapes Leo could almost swear he saw images in the interference. It must be his imagination.

⠀⢀⡀⡄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⢶⢶⢲⠄⠀⢴⠦ ⢸⡈⣷⢱   ⠏⣾⢾⢸.    ⠿⡀⠀⠀⢸⢸.  ⡿⢹⠀⢸⡈⣷⢱⠲⢶⢶⢲ ⠀⠁⠀⠈⠉⠈⠀⠈  ⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠘⡇⢸⢻⠀⡞⢠⠖⢦⠀⣇⡤⠂⣠⠶⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆⠀⡆⢰⠴⠢⡄ ⠀⢳⡏⠀⣷⠃⢶⣉⣹⡀⡏⠳⣀⢯⣉⡩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⣀⣯⢻⣄⣠⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠂⠀⠀ ⢸⡈⣷⢱   ⠏⣾⢾⢸.    ⠿⡀⠀⠀⢸⢸.  ⡿⢹⠀⢸⡈⣷⢱⠲⢶⢶⢲ ⠀⠁⠀⠈⠉⠈⠀⠈  ⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠲⢶⢶⢲⠄⠀⢴⠦

But the instant Leo called his attention to it, the projector popped, fizzled, and disconnected.

Huh. Must be the sleep deprivation...

Leo's attention came back to the emptiness of the room. Where had everyone gone? It was too dark and too quiet to be morning yet. Maybe... they'd all gone to get more snacks? It was a silly idea, but the only probable one he could think of. Leo rose to his feet, stretched, and clambered over the sea of pillows and cushions surrounding the area. He wondered what time it was. He tried to find his phone... but, uh... hm. That was unlike him, to leave his phone unattended. Oh well, he didn't actually need it. Besides, there were other clocks in the lair. Leo roamed into the halls, which seemed a lot longer and more dominated by shadow than usual. These shadows were strange, rounding about the walls and ceiling and floor as if they were cloth rolling down a hole. In fact, the more Leo focused on the world around him, the more it seemed distorted and out of place. The photos on the walls were tilted and slanted, the images were too blurry to be discernible. There were doors that he did not recognize, practically littering the hallway. And the hallway itself went on for miles and miles and miles. Leo eventually saw a door that felt familiar. Felt familiar. It did not look familiar. But being near the door felt like being at the end of a task you forgot you were doing. Recognition of completion. He opened the door.

It was the kitchen. And it was empty. No one was here... huh. Weird. Where had they all gone? Leo glanced at the wall clock. The hand were at... uh... He couldn't read the numbers. There weren't any numbers. And for whatever reason, he couldn't recall in what order numbers ran, or where they started on a clock. At the top? The middle? The bottom? Where was the 1 supposed to be? And which hand represented the hour?

Uh... h-he didn't really want to see the time, anyway. It would just remind him of how many hours he had left to try and sleep.

"You've been sleeping enough, I think..."

Who said that?

Leo glanced around room anxiously. The once warm light was starting to dim, darken, desaturate. It was getting pretty cold in here. Leo ran out of the room, and looked down the halls. The way back to the living room was pitch black, and getting darker and scarier by the minute.

"This way, Leo! Follow us!"

Leo turned to look the other way.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel! A deep, warm, golden amber light. He'd go that way. Leo started running. It was so hard to run, he felt like he was running through water, or molasses. Slowed down to a crawl, he forced his arms and legs to move as fast as they could to escape the oncoming, ever consuming darkness.

"Come on, Leo, you can do it!"

"You've got this, dude! Keep going!"

"Don't give up!"

Leo struggled hard, gritting his teeth and growling with strained effort.

"Rrrrrgh! Who ARE you weird disembodied voices, anyway?! What have you done with my family?!"

The voices didn't answer. Or maybe they did, he just wasn't hearing them anymore. Everything felt like slow motion.

Leo finally made it to the edge of the light. As soon as his fingers touched the sparkling beams, he felt the effects of the darkness bleed off of him, ebbing away like the tide as he crawled out of its reach. The cold chill that had been clawing at his heart and lungs was now replaced by a glorious sensation of healthy warmth. The air sparkled, chasing the dark back into the abyss. The light brightened, beckoning him. Something about this light felt like... like... Like Mikey, somehow. It mirrored his bright personality. Leo could almost swear that touching the light was like holding his hand. He could feel the weight in his palm.

"...Mikey?" he asked aloud, eyes wide with shock at how familiar and real it all felt. The realest thing here...

"He felt me!"

"Huh?" Leo asked, still unsure where the voice had come from...

But before he could discern anything, his feet started moving again, almost as if he was no longer in charge. He strode through the tunnels, following the light.

"Don't worry, Nardo, we'll help you get back."

"We'll be right here beside you, no matter what."

"Anatawa hitorijinai."

"I don't speak... whatever that is," Leo mumbled sleepily. He wondered why he felt so drowsy all over again.

But Leo felt like the voices weren't malevolent. They weren't evil, or cruel. Maybe they had done something to his family, maybe not. It felt more like they wanted to help return him to them. Leo wasn't an overly trusting guy, but he was willing to stake his life for his family's sake.

He was willing to follow the light.

[cozage]

The Daughter's Return Part 3

Chapter 18: Ace's Perspective - Prison

Start From Beginning | Next Chapter | Table of Contents | Read on AO3

Characters: female reader x Portgas D. Ace Word Count: 1.6k

“You’ve got a visitor.”

The gruff voice from the Marine stirred Ace back to consciousness, but he didn’t raise his head to see who it was. It wasn’t worth the effort anymore.

 He had given up long ago. He had made peace with dying. His execution was in a few days…or was it hours? Time had a funny way of moving when you couldn’t tell what day it was. 

He had fought early on, when they had first captured him. He yanked at his chains and screamed in frustration, waking the entire floor with his rage. Even weakened by the sea prism, he had put up a good fight. 

But slowly, he grew tired. And in the time he took to recuperate his energy, he thought of you. He thought of the baby. The two things that mattered most in this world. And you were safe. He didn’t know where you were or what you were doing, but Ace knew that you were anywhere but in the hands of the Marines. Impel Down would’ve exploded with guards if you were behind its gates. And there were heightened security measures because of him and Jinbe, but not near as heightened as if you were there. 

Plus, he knew if you had been captured, someone would’ve been down to rub his failure in his face. No news meant good news. And that’s how he knew you were safe. 

He was thankful he had abandoned you, as cruel as that sounded. He had left you in Alabasta because he was confident he could kill Blackbeard on his own. But after seeing the traitor’s power, Ace knew that even with you by his side, you would not have won. And then you would be here with him, trapped in a prison cell. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if you were here next to him, awaiting execution. But you were safe and sound somewhere miles away, all because of that choice he had made.  

So nothing else really mattered. Ace had been waiting to die since he was five years old. This felt like a fitting and dramatic end. Public Execution. He should’ve been reflecting on his life, but he only thought about you. 

He spent most of his time imagining what it would’ve been like for the two of you to settle down and raise a child. A small house, nothing fancy. Maybe near the beach, so your child could play in the ocean. A little island where the two of you could actually be normal people with normal lives. You could have a garden, and the two of you would sing and dance in the kitchen as you cooked dinner. Your kid could grow up in a normal house, and have friends that could sleep over on the weekends. 

That’s what he was dreaming about when the voice jarred him from his thoughts, bringing him back to the cold reality of his actual future. There would be no slow dances in the kitchen, no garden to tend to every morning. All that awaited him was-

“Still breathing in there?” 

Garp’s voice almost made Ace look up. But he kept his head lowered. 

“You’ve caused quite a lot of trouble.” Garp sat down right outside of the jail cell. “Navy Headquarters…no, all of the world government is a mess. All of Whitebeard’s commanders are planning to move on Marineford to save you.”

Ace stiffened at that news. To save him? No. So many people would die if that happened. He wasn’t worth those lives. And if you were there…if something happened to you…Ace couldn’t breathe.

“Kill me, then.” He still refused to look up. “Just kill me.”

“Can’t do that either,” Garp sighed, chuckling lightly. “I’m afraid there’s nothing Whitebeard wouldn’t do to get you back, even if you were to die right now. It appears we’ve finally angered the King of the Sea.”

If there was going to be a war, Ace knew you would be there. And he couldn’t allow you to die. You had to survive; nothing else mattered except your life. 

“Look, old man…” Ace whispered, tears streaming down his face. “I need a fav-”

“I wanted you and Luffy to grow up and be good Marines,” Garp said, not hearing Ace’s words. “But hopes be damned, you both turned out to be hoodlums.”

Hoodlums. Pirates. Ace had never lived up to his grandfather’s expectations. Roger had asked Garp to watch over Ace, and look how that had turned out. If Garp knew about the baby, you would never be safe. Garp had always been a Marine first. If Garp knew, then the Navy would know, and you would be the first to die on that battlefield. 

He couldn’t-he wouldn’t-tell Garp about you.

“Notorious, dangerous pirates at that,” Garp continued, staring at Ace intensely. 

Garp went on to talk about Luffy and his accomplishments at Water 7 and Enies Lobby, but he didn’t mention your name at all. Which meant you must’ve left Luffy’s group before they made it to Water 7. 

He couldn’t blame you. If the roles had been reversed, he would’ve left Luffy the moment the snail call ended. 

“I told Luffy about his father,” Garp said.

“To hell with our fathers,” Ace snarled. “To hell with you if you ever thought we could be marines. We have cursed blood running through us. This was the only path for us. But let me make one thing clear…”

Ace finally looked up, locking eyes with his grandfather. “The only man I will ever call my father is Whitebeard. Got it, old man?”

Garp smirked and shook his head. “Whatever you say, boy.” He stood to his feet and began to walk away, but paused. 

“What was that favor you needed?” He asked. 

No, Ace couldn’t tell him now. It would be a death sentence for you. 

“It’s nothing,” Ace said. 

Garp hummed and looked back one last time at Ace, but walked away without another word.

It was just Ace and Jinbe again, silence filling the air between the two men. 

“Jinbe,” Ace started. “I need a favor. My little brother, Luffy…will you look after him?”

Jinbe chuckled deeply. “I doubt that’s what you were going to ask Monkey D. Garp, boy.”

“It wasn’t,” Ace admitted. “But this is still important.”

“Humor me,” Jinbe said. “What were you going to ask him?”

Jinbe was avoiding the question. Ace knew that. He knew how big of a request it was to ask Jinbe to watch over Luffy. It wasn’t a very fair request either. But it was a better question than what he was going to tell Garp. 

Ace knew it was a risk to tell Jinbe about you. It was a big risk to tell anyone about your status, especially in a prison where he was probably being watched. But he didn’t see any snail cameras around, and if he spoke in code, perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea for someone else to know. Someone who was outside of the Whitebeard Pirates who could help protect you. 

“It was about Y/N.” He finally looked at Jinbe, trying his best to show there was more to his words. “We were close. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“Whitebeard’s daughter?” Jinbe almost looked impressed, and Ace was reminded once again of just how lucky he was to have you. 

“She’s been pretty sick lately. Throwing up and such. Has a terrible stomach bug. Just wanted to make sure she gets looked after until she’s better. But I realized I can’t ask a Marine to help with that, you know?”

Jinbe’s eyes widened, and Ace knew he had understood. He trusted Jinbe with his life, and now he trusted Jinbe with yours too. 

“I see..” Jinbe said cautiously, nodding in agreement. “I hope she feels better.”

Ace could see there were a thousand things running through the fishman’s mind, but it was too dangerous to ask it here. 

All Ace could do was wait and hope. Wait for his end, and hope that his trust in Jinbe would somehow pay off. 

And he would dream too. Of you by his side and a baby in his arms.

--

Note: Going to be a little break for me to get everything in order for the final few chapters! We'll resume with Marineford on Thursday, November 9th :)

Tag list! @taeyoge @teiza @tojislawyer @trafalgardnami @bloopbopsblog @dancingnewcat @dxestyi @flooofity @nyxthedragon01 @deadsnothere @h-rhodes1598  @morgyyyyyyy @trafalgardvivi  @fiestynatureweeb @frogpogjoghurt @beepboopcowboy @ms-portgas @luvyallbabes @appalost @zuchkaa @saybeyonce @stray-npc @kitsunechan707 @theyluvmesblog @heartysworld @aira-needs-sleep  @mothmomjay @ophelias-flowerss @aqualein @sehyojae @fanficwriter5 @forgotten-blues @amberash05 @firefistnoct @depressed-but-make-it-cute @stuckinthewrongworld@lizpoir

[ganondoodle]

sorry i keep coming back to totk rants, but something that utterly baffles me from a game design perspective especially is

who, in their right mind, would think to put similar objectives with the same characters in the EXACT same place as its previous game when already reusing the same exact map (no, single rocks springkled around isnt a meaningful change, fight me)

like from a purely logical point of view its just ... not logical?? and TWICE so when most players will have played the previous game, so now that the exploration, which was the main driving point of it, isnt as satisfying simply bc you know most locations and what is what, the thing you need to do is subvert it as in you go to that location and theres something else now or something that leads to a new reveal, but not NOTHING either, bc you likely cared about what youd find- the satori mountain was such a cool mysterious place, so now you head to it to see what is now and its nothing but maybe an obvious treasure chest? thats both lazy (i realy use that since its way overused by people missusing it) and just ... it might be meant as a lil nod so that there isnt nothing at all but to me it feels even more condescending as if there were literally nothing instead

satori isnt here anymore? thats weird if its always been there, so you go find a cause, maybe theres a fissure somewhere you can enter a large cave system, an hidden entrance to the underground that reveals there is something corrupting the place somwhere nearby but not exactly in the same spot- make it into a bossfight at which end satori gets cleansed- maybe it got captured and taken somewhere else, to a place that was kinda neat but didint serve a big fucntion in botw like maybe it was dragged somwhere into the big tabantha canyon, or to the forgotten temple

you try to visit rito village but the snow and cold there got so bad that you cant even reach it without special gear, and when you do reach it its utterly frozen in thick ice and not a single soul is there, the perch of vah medoh is knocked over building a bridge as a subtle hint as to in what direction perhaps, its intriguing bc clearly they have to be SOMEWHERE, maybe they tried to use vah medoh to evacuate but bc its losing power and doesnt have a skilled pilot they crash land it into the mountains, now trapped there and due to the storm not able to send anyone out to get help, maybe some did but they didnt make it and you can find them on your way and rescue them, and bc of the storm being so bad no one can get out and no one can get in (except for our special boi linky ofc) and even after the storm has weakened they dont immediately go back and act like everythings normal, maybe theres an extra mission afterwards helping them rebuild the village but not exactly the same as it was but fortified, different to account for things like this happening again, establishing the crashsite of vah medoh as a second outpost, or a temple, to thank it for bringing them out of immedaite danger but couldnt go all the way

theres so many places that are so clearly modeled around botw that are entirely unused now bc they had to remove all things shiekah for no reason, the holes they left jsut being holes where somethings clearly missing or some chest with a gem in it while the new shrine thing is within view distance a few meters away, might as well have put them in the exact same place bc it really doesnt make a difference

(like alot of those ideas im using for the rewrite which changes many things but you get the point right??)

and its even worse imo with the building stuff, bc now you dont even have to journey there you can fly glide and literally drive there instantly like a giant skip button so you cant even appreaciate the way to it, you skip to one important part to the next

and then points of interest are REPEATED AGAIN, like with shrines and lightroots and settlements and big mines- that is the opposite of satisfying gameplay, you dont have to explore shit bc its all in the same place which is probably why they only did tiny changes to those few spots and nothing else bc they knew most people would run right to those so it gives the illusion of changes (which are half reversable or barely a change at all) and even those are STILL meaningless

its right up there with having even MORE grind with less substance to it than in botw, the shrines and krogs got a lil old but at least the environment, its subtle storytelling etc were something- and totk just bloated everything with more little meaningless collectables while not changing anything meaningfully (and instead pretends that some things where never there and those new boring things were always there)

more shriens with shorter puzzles or none at all, more krogs with the same reward system, over a hundred tiny caves that all blend together bc they are all so similar and you really only do them for yet another colelctable for old gear and ONE cool new one with a bad effect after which the things collected become uselessreally, souls to collect to buy you a single armor set, rewards being largley reused old stuff from botw (imo you should have a chest in your house, yes YOUR house, that got most of the standard versions of botws armor in it so you dont have to buy it all again??? but you gotta think of going home first and dont have to use it- make new versions of them alternatively so you can choose if you want the old one or new one and also LEAVE ONE AT YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT HAVING TO SELL IT SO YOUT INVENTORY ISNT AS ENDLESSLY SCROLLING AS YOUR STUPID ARROW BAR)

theres new effects from food and armor thats largely useless (like the attack when hot?? why wouldnt you you jsut combine an armor and a potion- put on hot armor and drink an attack potion? its way more efficient no?? idk i found it to be yet another effect thing to bloat my inventory especially when NPCs keep giving you shitty effect food)

the whole sonanium (zonaite?) collecting with multiple ways to convert it into yet another currency??? huh???? AND have it be the thing for you to autobuild with?? when you need it upgrade your battery which takes an insane amount of those stones?? wells, while finally an actual well are NOW ALSO LIKE A COLLECTABLE and im gonna take a wild guess that the reward is utterly disappointing too

the fairies are all blocked by much more annoying means than in botw (like i wouldnt want to carry those NPCs three meters away in their little cart antoehr time please) and the amount of material AND MONEY NOW you need is so much higher for no reason (if its their attempt to make the game harder its the lamest way to do it)-

all while instead of expanding on the foundation of botw they ripped it out to build a new one while pretending they are both there (im so so slaty about this .... a sequel like this should expand upon the stuff of the first game, both in theme, narrative, mechanics and more and not ... replace it with slightly different versions of it while abandoning everything established before and really only using it as a way to skip having to make you care about some characters bc you might still care about them from the other game)

i could go on, as always lol, anyway, i really really dont get why this got into the final game ..

[naughtyneganjdm]

Naughty or Nice - Chapter 2

Summary: After coming down from the high of his night together with Y/N, Negan has to face the realities of his home life. Things grow complicated when he can't get his mind off his boss and their intimate moment together.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC) and some other characters from TWD.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51464518/chapters/130435768

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, angst, smut, etc.

Notes: There are some people from The Walking Dead that will start showing up in this story along the way even though it's an alternate universe story. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.

Having sex at work was not something Negan ever expected to have happen. No one had ever interested him enough for that. Hell, he was too professional for that. Well, at least he thought he was. What happened tonight was a shock for both him and Y/N. After what they did, they cleaned up her office, sent off the work and were quick to head out. Once they agreed to see where things could go, they were both quiet. Possibly unsure about what happened. But Negan knew how he felt.

“What’s wrong?” Negan gazed over at Y/N from where he was standing across from her in the elevator after they got a notice from a driver that they were parked out front of the building. Her face was flushed over, her eyes looking worried while he kept his hands pushed into his pockets. Between the two of them in that elevator, you could tell that they were disheveled. But they were leaving after a Christmas party that night, so if they ran into anyone, he was hoping they would assume that was why. Although, he didn’t regret it. Not one bit.

“Do you think we cleaned everything good enough? You don’t think they will know, do you?” she wondered causing a smirk to tug at Negan’s lips. Looking toward the camera that was in the elevator, Negan cleared his throat and adjusted his positioning in the corner of the elevator. “I’m serious Negan. We kind of made a mess and…”

“I’m sure that everything will be fine. Also, people shouldn’t be going into your office while you’re gone,” Negan assured her with a wink hearing the nervousness in her tone. “It’s not like we left my cum covering the desk or the couch. Any mess we made, we cleaned it up with the tissues. I don’t expect a janitor to come in and inspect the tissues that are in your garbage checking to see if it’s my dried up cum on them.”

“Negan,” she scoffed looking toward the camera that was in the elevator, but all he gave in return was a shameless shrug.

“I’m just saying Y/N, we cleaned everything up. My cum was wiped up and the other stuff…” Negan’s eyes flashed over with a naughty expression that almost took her breath away with it. “That will dry up. Trust me, no one is ever going to know about our sex or how many times I made you squirt by morning.”

“You have no filtering system,” she pointed toward the camera, her cheeks turning redder if that was possible. “They can probably hear you.”

“We’re not the first people to have sex in an office building Y/N. They’ve probably had people have sex in here for fuck’s sake. And I doubt they listen back on all of the videos from all day long. We’re just two people standing in an elevator after a Christmas party,” Negan reasoned with her, pulling one of his hands out to wave it about in the air. “Sure, we had sex, but it’s not like our boss is going to know. And if he does? So fucking what? I’m sure Dwight and Sherry have done it somewhere in this building. Probably even the big boss and his wife too. People get promiscuous and horny. That shit happens.”

“You’re talking about it like it’s not a big deal,” she replied back fanning herself trying to hide the warmth that was flooding into her face. “What we did…”

“Was fucking amazing. We enjoyed ourselves and we cleaned it up. No one is going to know,” Negan hushed her with a devious smile, his eyes wrinkling with amusement that she was so worried. “We got our work done, our client is going to be happy and everything is going to be okay. I promise you that.”

Once the elevator dinged, he held his right hand out and motioned for her to leave the elevator first. “After you, Boss.”

“You just want to stare at my ass,” she pushed into the center of his chest having him stumbling back, a thick rumble of laughter falling from his throat. Moving off the elevator, she yelped when Negan moved behind her to pinch her ass. Swatting his hand away had his raspy laugh filling the empty building that only had a security guard inside of it. It was actually good that Negan was with her because her legs still felt weak from everything they had gone through.

A cool burst of air caused an immediate chill once she finally stepped outside. The sensation almost knocked her off her feet. It was an instantaneous reaction from the snow that was still falling around them. The sensation of Negan’s hand settling at the small of her back made her take in a sharp breath as he led her toward the car that was waiting. Going to reach for the door, she was halted by Negan who opened the door for her holding his hand out to help her into the car. Accepting his hand, she was somewhat in awe by the chivalry that he was displaying for her as he helped her in. Once she was comfortable, Negan slid into the car beside her and got himself situated after closing the door behind him.

The driver confirmed that they were ready and Negan knew that he had put in her address first so that way she got home safe just like he promised. Heat flooded into the car, but she still had a chill flooding her body from the freezing temperatures outside.

“You okay?” Negan questioned, his eyebrow arching when he stared out at her. Noticing that she was tremoring, Negan adjusted in the seat that he was in and pulled his jacket from his body to cover her with it. The small gesture was enough to have her swooning as he slid in closer to her rubbing his hands over her shoulders to keep her warm. “Any better?”

“I think I would have been better if I had my panties,” she whispered what she thought was low enough for only him to hear. It made Negan snicker and he leaned in to nuzzle his nose in against hers. “I know you snatched them.”

“It will be something to keep me satisfied until we get back,” Negan slurred, dragging his tongue out over his bottom lip. The warmth of his breath lingered over her lips and it made her tremor against him. A shuddering breath escaped her when he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Even though we cleaned you up, you have no idea how fucking hot it makes me knowing that my cum is still inside of you.”

“Negan,” she hushed him, her cheeks flushing over with a warmth. Pressing her hand in over the center of Negan’s chest, she heard the amused rumble fall from him and she couldn’t believe that he said that. “You’re naughty.”

“I am,” Negan agreed with her, giving her a wink while keeping a small distance between them. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he drew her to him so that she could stay warm with him close to her. Hovering his lips in over her jawline, Negan’s eyelids were heavy with lust again and she knew that having him close to her like this had her pulse jumping in her throat. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next few weeks when you are on my mind. Your tight…” Negan’s words vibrated against her flesh when he started drawing his bottom lip over her jawline and toward her neck, “Wet…pussy. It’s all I’m going to be dreaming about.”

“Negan,” she gasped out when the roughness of his fingertips dragged across the inside of her thigh. Lifting her gaze, she could see that the driver stole a few looks back at them every so often with her and Negan being so touchy. Gradually, Negan’s motions turned into naughty kisses that were being peppered against the side of her neck. “He’s watching.”

“There is nothing to see,” Negan noted, his lips sweeping in over hers taking her breath away with the motion. Instead of pulling away like she should have, she allowed him to kiss her like that knowing that she didn’t want to leave him tonight. Laying with him on the couch naked would have been a great way to spend her night, but she knew that she couldn’t do that. Her fiancé was waiting for her and Negan’s kids were certainly waiting for him at home. They were both leaving for the holiday and she knew better to fall into a forbidden romance with her co-worker. “You have my jacket over your lap.”

Closing her eyes shut tightly, she felt Negan’s palm flattening out over her thigh before pushing up under the skirt of her dress. With Negan’s fingers dancing across her heated flesh, she fought so hard to keep herself from crying out.

“I’m so glad we opened up with one another tonight,” Negan nibbled at her bottom lip, tugging faintly on it when his index finger traced a line up over the length of her sex beneath the jacket he covered her with. Repeating the motion several times, he flicked his tongue at the inside of her bottom lip and she turned her head toward him to bring their lips together with a wet sound. Humming against her lips had her moaning faintly and he smiled sheepishly. Urging her thighs further apart, Negan took advantage of the moment and slid one of his fingers into her welcoming sex. Burying her head against his shoulder after she dropped it down, she tried to keep herself silent. Unhurriedly, he thrust his finger into her, his hazel eyes locked on her emotions while he did it. There was a hope that the driver would have just thought they were making out with one another, but she wasn’t very good at hiding with how he was making her feel. Sure, he was trying to hide it, but if someone was smart enough, they would know what was happening.

“Me too,” she agreed with him, licking her lips and panting when Negan bit at her jawline. Back when they were at the office, she was able to tell that Negan had left some marks on her that she would have to hide over her vacation. It was something she should have been furious about. But strangely? She wasn’t. “People would look down on us for what happened tonight. Especially me.”

“Mmm…I don’t care,” Negan growled, his kisses leading to her lips. It was passionate and drew both of them to cling to one another while Negan’s finger continued to pump into her with determination.

“I’m your boss,” she reminded him with a hum, her eyes slamming shut when Negan added another finger to add to the pleasure of what he was doing beneath his jacket.

“Yes, you are,” Negan snickered, groaning out with the way she was kissing at his bottom lip. “My talented, beautiful, incredibly sexy boss.”

Reaching down, she grasped tightly to his arm when she felt a warmth building up inside of her body. More than anything she wanted to rock her hips against the motions of his fingers, but she knew that she couldn’t. Negan was having fun with this and she knew that. At this point, she didn’t even know where they were. They could have been driving in the completely wrong direction and she would have never known.

“Negan,” she panted his name, hating that she wasn’t doing a very good job at hiding the pleasure he was giving her while he fingered her in the back of this stranger’s car. Desperately clinging to him, she made sure that he was close when she felt her hips shaking against his movements. Immediately Negan picked up on her body’s response to him and his fingers pumped away inside of her hoping to get her to another orgasm. Once she did, she bit at his bottom lip hoping to silence her cries and Negan growled against her flesh. Tearing her lips away from his, she rest her head against the side of his neck. Trying to get her body to calm down was going to be hard. Between her body’s tremors and her breathing, she had no idea how she was going to walk into the apartment that she shared with her fiancé and pretend that she was okay. Gasping out, she felt Negan’s fingers pulling from her. Noticing that Negan brought his fingers to his lips had a breath catch in her throat and she found her heart hammering inside of her chest. Negan took his fingers into his mouth, his tongue lapping at the taste of her over them. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“Mmmm…that would be terrible,” Negan hummed, his eyelashes fluttering before she grabbed a firm hold of his hair to bring him to her so they could kiss. Each kiss was passionate feeding off the energy they were getting from each other. It was so intense that by the time that the car stopped neither one of them really noticed. It took the driver clearing his throat for them to realize that they were there. Finally Negan was the one to pull his lips from hers letting out a disappointed sigh. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”

“You have to,” she placed her hand over the center of his chest realizing how dangerous it was for them to be this close inside of the car in front of her home that she shared with her fiancé. Tapping him on the chest, she pressed one more faint kiss over his lips. “Goodnight Negan.”

“Goodnight,” Negan frowned when she pulled away from him, handing him over his jacket when she managed to get out of the car on her shaken legs. Watching her closely, Negan felt his chest tightening when he watched her walk up toward the door of the building she lived in. After she disappeared into the building, Negan cussed to himself and pinched the bridge of his nose.

On the way to his home, Negan noticed that he looked at his phone more times that he cared to admit. Y/N had just left him. Why would she text him? It drove him crazy to know that he was already hooked on this woman. Sure, he had always found her appealing, but after tonight he felt like they connected in a way that was too strong for either of them to be able to deny.  

Swiping his finger across the top of the screen, he sighed loudly and knew that he had to get it together. He was going home to his children and he would have to quickly fill into the role of dad. Focusing on his surroundings while in the back of the car, Negan knew that he found so much awe in the city. He loved it and it was even more beautiful when it would snow.

“We’re here,” the driver announced when he pulled up to the apartment building where Negan lived. Staring up at the building, Negan knew that his wild night of pleasure would have to be soon forgotten. Closing his eyes, he let that memory of Y/N burn into his memory before sitting forward. Lifting his hips up, Negan pulled out his wallet. Counting out money, he slid forward enough to hold it out for the driver. “What’s this?”

“You know what this is for,” Negan muttered and it took a minute for the driver to think things over before accepting the money. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No, thank you Mr. Smith,” the man gave Negan a nod when Negan got out of the car. Getting his jacket on, Negan stared up at the building and then moved into it. His walk to the elevator was slow, but when he got on the elevator, he couldn’t help but think about Y/N. The memory of her lingered in his mind when they were on the elevator tonight. He didn’t want to forget about what happened tonight. It was too perfect for him to do that.

It seemed the elevator was taking longer than normal to get to the floor his apartment was on. It gave him the time to reflect on his memories from tonight and he sighed. With a ding, the doors opened and he stepped out onto the floor hearing the sounds of the television in the background. Tipping his head to the side, Negan rounded the corner of the hallway to see that his son was stretched out across the couch.

“Beau?” Negan called out and his son’s head dropped back to look back over at Negan. A tired smirk tugged at his son’s young features and Negan pushed his hands into his pockets. In Beau’s hazel eyes he could see that his son was tired so he was surprised to see him still up so late into the night. When Negan got home, he pictured he would be coming home to a dark apartment. “What are you doing up? We have a big day tomorrow.”

Stepping toward the couch, Negan gasped when his daughter hopped up on the couch to her feet. Amusement flooded her young features when Negan jumped, not expecting her to be there. Giggles fell from her throat, her dimples sinking in and her green eyes glowing with happiness. Hopping over the back of the couch, his daughter jumped into his arms. Catching her, he pulled her in closer to his chest and stroked his fingers through her dirty blonde hair, pressing a kiss over her forehead. Laughing, he squeezed her close to him and found joy that his kids were still happy to have him home. “We were watching Christmas movies daddy!”

“Oh?” Negan peppered kisses against the side of his daughter’s face an amused rumble falling from Negan’s throat. “Erin, it is way past your bedtime baby girl. I don’t even know how you are still awake. I’m barely able to keep my eyes open right now.”

“I have an answer for that one,” Beau noted, pointing back toward the kitchen. Beau’s dimples sank in and Erin’s head buried against the side of his neck while she laughed. “Lots and lots of cookies. We baked this evening and she took down quite a few on her own. And it probably didn’t help that they were sugar cookies.”

“Why’d you let her eat so many?” Negan moved around the couch to glance down at Beau who simply stared up at Negan with an amused expression. Beau shrugged, his dimples showing that he was being silly in not getting up from the couch. With his free hand, Negan waved his son to stand up. “Don’t give me that look. Get up here you little shit.”

Snickering, Beau got up from the couch to move forward to give his father a hug and Negan placed a kiss on the top of his son’s head. Messing Beau’s dark hair up had his son laughing, “You always hug me when I come home. Don’t get too old for that shit on me.”

“I’ll never be too old for that,” Beau muttered into his father’s shoulder, squeezing his arms around Negan’s waist. “I just wanted to see how long it took to upset you.”

“You’re a dick,” Negan snickered hearing the gasp that Erin gave when she leaned back to stare up at her father from where she was in his other arm. “Don’t repeat what I said.”

“What kind of dad are you?” Beau jokingly shoved into Negan’s chest causing Negan to snort, his laugh growing with the playful banter that him and his son were having together. “You’re lucky that I love you so much.”

“That’s actually true,” Negan alerted his son, hooking his fingers around the back of his son’s head to bring him forward to place another kiss on his forehead. “I’m lucky to have you buddy. Don’t forget that. And I look forward to those hugs. It’s my favorite thing about coming home.”

“Good,” Erin piped in, cuddling in closer to Negan’s chest from where he was holding onto her. “Because we miss you when you are gone.”

 “We have some pizza and cookies waiting for you in the kitchen,” Beau pointed toward the area that the kitchen was in and it made Negan sigh. “We also got this new peppermint hot chocolate that’s actually surprisingly good. I’ve had a few myself tonight.”

“You two made cookies on your own? Where did you get the hot chocolate?” Negan inquired only to hear the sound of a door opening and he looked back over his shoulder to let out a tense sound when he saw his girlfriend was there. When her green eyes connected with his, a big, happy smile spread out over her features. Seeing her made Negan’s heart race. She wasn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow. “Hey Maggie. What are you doing here?”

“Not the response I thought I would get,” Maggie moved across the room, stepping before him and he used his free arm to wrap it around her to give her a one-armed hug. Originally, he was happy that he was going to have time to chill out. He could only imagine how he may have tasted and smelled of Y/N. Tonight he should have been able to get a shower in, a rest and then start over completely new in the morning with her when she came over. When she pulled back, she pressed a quick kiss over Negan’s lips and he hoped that she didn’t notice anything different. “I decided instead of waiting until tomorrow I would pack today and just come over so we could all leave together in the morning. I knew the kids would be alone tonight because of your party so we hung out. I brought some food and we had some bonding time.”

“All night long,” Beau dragged out his words and it was clear there was sarcasm in his tone. Nudging his son softly with his shoulder, Negan knew that Beau wasn’t the biggest fan of Maggie and he made that clear. Thankfully, Maggie just always thought Beau was a jokester and never really picked up on the fact that his son didn’t like her all that much. “Maggie brought pizza, insisted we make cookies together and then wanted us to have a sleep over with a night full of movies.”

“And I think we had fun, right?” Maggie confirmed with Beau, moving out to squeeze over his shoulder firmly. Holding her arms out for Erin, Erin looked up at Negan with big eyes wondering if she had to go over to Maggie. Negan didn’t want to force his daughter to do it, but eventually his seven-year-old sighed and then accepted the gesture from Maggie who grabbed her. “You had fun, didn’t you?”

“It was good,” Erin answered with a firm nod of her head, her tiny dimples sinking in and Negan knew that was the face of his daughter lying. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan tried to keep his amusement in when he slid his hands into his pockets. As he did it, his fingers connected with the panties that belonged to Y/N that he had shoved in their previously. Immediately pulling his hands out of his pockets, he folded his arms in front of his chest and cleared his throat. “We watched some good movies.”

“Are you hungry?” Maggie wondered and Negan shrugged. He hadn’t really ate much today so he wouldn’t mind a bit of a snack.

“I’ll go warm some pizza up for you,” Beau moved around Negan and pat his dad on the shoulder. Heading into the kitchen left the three of them alone. Setting Erin down, Maggie noticed that she was eager to run off into the kitchen.

“No more cookies until tomorrow,” Negan called out hearing Erin giggle and she stopped to turn around. Her hands hooked in front of her and she fluttered her beautiful eyelashes up at Negan. “I said no.”

“Please. Just one more?” she begged of Negan giving him the look that she always did when she wanted him to agree to something. “I swear. Just one.”

“Fine,” Negan grumbled under his breath hearing the giggle that followed. After Erin disappeared into the kitchen, Negan called out to Beau knowing that he was the one he could count on to follow the rules. “Only let her have one more Beau!”

“Got it dad!” Beau hollered back from the kitchen giving Negan the time to turn to face Maggie who looked pleased with how things turned out today.

“Honey,” Maggie stepped forward, brushing her fingers through Negan’s hair to get it out of his face. Tipping up on her toes, she tugged at the coat he was wearing and sighed. “You smell of alcohol really bad. You drank a lot tonight?”

“I did,” Negan confessed thankful that the smell of alcohol was what she picked up on. “I worked most of the night and when I got that hour in to party, I took advantage of it. I’m sorry. I know I have to drive tomorrow, but I will be fine. I’ll drink some water now and I swear I’ll be in good shape tomorrow for your family.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Maggie whispered, caressing over the center of Negan’s chest. “I hope you’re not mad that I did this. I just wanted to try to bond with Beau and Erin. I know that Christmas time is hard for them without their mother and I just…I want to make a good impression.”

“I’m not mad at you. I appreciate the gesture. You know my kids are the most important things in the world to me,” Negan reminded her knowing that he couldn’t be mad at her for trying. He was just nervous. He wished he would have had time to himself to let the things that happened with Y/N linger. Now he was worried as hell. They agreed to wait until after the holidays to decide things. Yet, here he was standing in front of the first woman he gave a chance to after his wife died with another woman’s panties in his pocket likely still smelling heavily of her. Well, more so alcohol now and he was thankful for that. “Did Beau let you in?”

“He did,” Maggie responded dragging her fingers down in over the side of Negan’s face, teasing her fingers through his short beard. “I would think by now that I would have a key since I’ve spent a lot of nights here already…”

“I keep forgetting,” Negan lied getting tense when she tipped on her toes and her lips hovered over his. “I just have to make time to get a key made.”

“The place you work at runs you too hard,” Maggie slurred, her thumb dragging out over his bottom lip. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, Negan didn’t really know how to respond. Before being in this kind of position, he really should have brushed his teeth and taken a shower. “Now you get to take a break. Finally.”

“Kind of,” Negan breathed against her lips when she attempted to kiss him which made her huff. “I still have to keep in contact with my team and the company. I’m one of the people in charge and they can’t do this without me.”

“Don’t you have two levels of bosses ahead of you? That guy I met and that new woman?” she plucked open the top button of Negan’s shirt that was revealed beneath his jacket. Stroking her fingers over the chest hair that was there had Negan’s Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “They should handle it.”

“She’s going to be gone too,” Negan responded, his hands settling in over Maggie’s hips when her lips faintly brushed over his. “Unfortunately, you’re dating a work-a-holic.”

“I’ll live,” Maggie muttered hearing the children calling out to him from the kitchen.

Bouncing his eyebrows, Negan flashed her a charming smile before stepping back to head for the kitchen. Taking off his jacket, Negan set it on one of the chairs at the dining room table and noticed that Erin was sitting at the island on one of the taller stools that were there eating one of her cookies.

“These look good,” Negan muttered reaching for one of the cookies that looked meticulous and perfectly decorated. Wrinkling his nose, Negan knew that his daughter liked baking, but she wasn’t this clean. “These look too nice.”

“Maggie did most of the work and we gave her company,” Beau brought two glasses of milk over. One for Erin and one for Negan when Negan took the first bite of the cookie. “And we just talked while she did it.”

“Oh, that’s…nice,” Negan spoke hearing Maggie moving into the kitchen while he ate the cookie that he grabbed. It almost tasted store bought and while they were good, he was more of a fan of the homemade kind. Negan also considered himself a bit of a good cook and baker, so he knew maybe he was being a bit too judgmental but he knew his were better. Often, he’d let Erin decorate them too so while they may have been messy, they still tasted great. Beau joined them at the counter and brought a glass of milk for himself too before reaching for a sugar cookie himself. “Are you guys all packed for tomorrow?”

“You know I am daddy. You’re the one that packed my things,” Erin reminded Negan with another lighthearted giggle and it made Negan smile. “I don’t understand the whole Santa thing though. How is he going to know that we are at Maggie’s family’s house?”

“Well Santa is still going to come here and leave a lot of presents for both of you for when we get back,” Negan swallowed down what was left of the cookie he grabbed before reaching for another one. Maggie moved around the kitchen and Negan could see that she was preparing a glass of the hot chocolate that they were talking about earlier for him. “But he still is going to manage to bring some gifts to where you are on Christmas. Just the bigger things will be here for when we get back.”

“Oh,” Erin finished off her cookie and reached for the glass of milk that Beau got her, grabbing it firmly with both of her hands. Watching her chug down the milk made Negan snort and he shook his head when she slammed the glass back down on the counter. “That was good.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Negan snorted, leaning in to pepper kisses against the side of her face. “I love you and your brother so much you stinker.”

“Crap,” Beau heard the sound of the alarm he set going off. Hopping down from his seat, he went over to the oven and used an oven mitt to get the pizza he was warming up for his father out. Turning things off, he tossed the pizza onto a plate. Heading back over to the island, Beau placed the plate in front of Negan before heading back to his seat.

“Thanks kiddo. You’re the best,” Negan appreciated that his son still helped to take care of things around the house. At thirteen, Beau really had to step up to be the man of the house when he wasn’t there and he was proud of his son. Reaching for one of the pieces, Negan blew on it in attempts to cool it before taking a big bite. After the night he had, he didn’t care if this wasn’t fresh, it still tasted good. “This is great Maggie. Thank you.”

“It’s no worries,” Maggie looked back at Negan with a half-smile while Negan finished off the piece he was eating before reaching for another. Maggie’s smile tugged at her lips from where she was standing working on the hot chocolate. “I know it’s your favorite. I figured Beau and Erin would like it too.”

With a simple nod, Negan smirked and went back to eating the pizza. Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Negan reached for his phone to see that it was a text from Y/N. Making sure that no one was close, he opened the text.

Tonight was great Negan. Thank you.

An inexplicable smile pressed in over Negan’s features, his thumb swiping in over his phone. Thinking of something to write back, he gazed up once more to make sure that he was safe in responding to her.

We’ll have to do it again sometime soon, Boss. Working with you tonight was a real pleasure.

“Did something good happen at work today?” Beau spoke up and it made Negan’s jaw flex, his eyes lifting from his phone to stare out at his son who was sipping on his milk. Shit. Maybe he was smiling too much with his phone. “You look happier today than normal.”

“He’s probably just happy that he finally gets a break from everything there,” Maggie suggested from where she was standing behind Beau. Nodding his head, Negan snapped his fingers and pointed toward her. Shoving his phone back into his pocket, Negan made sure that it was safely away when he finished up his last piece of pizza.

“That’s exactly it,” Negan was curious if he seemed to be in a better mood than normal and it was that obvious that something happened that lifted his spirits at work. “I’m just happy I get to spend the next few weeks with my children and enjoy the holidays.”

“I’m just warning you now that my family is going to be excited having children around. It’s been a long time since we’ve actually had children at these things so they are going to be wanting to do everything with them,” Maggie finished up with the hot chocolate and moved around Negan to hand it out to him. Accepting the mug that she gave him, Negan brought it up and took a long sip of the hot liquid treat. “None of my siblings have had children yet and I think it disappoints my dad. He always wanted grandchildren, but none of us have had any. Not even my stepbrother. So they are going to be pampered while they are there.”

“Even though we’re not your kids?” Beau spoke up in a whisper and Maggie smirked, reaching out to mess at Beau’s dark hair like Negan had done previously. Beau wasn’t as comfortable with Maggie doing it as he was his father, but he let it slide. “I mean, we’re just your boyfriend’s children.”

“I’m telling you, they are going to be super excited to have you there. Especially my stepmom. She’s really good with children and having them around for Christmas will make her happy. She really loved doing this kind of stuff with us when I was little,” Maggie assured Beau with a wink and she sighed loudly. “Even if they weren’t ridiculous about Christmas with children, they would be good to you because you’re important to me.”

Hearing that made Negan feel guilty. This was still a pretty new relationship for him. He’d been dating Maggie for about six months and he never really expected it to get as serious as it did. Truthfully, when he met Maggie, he didn’t think much about things. Maggie chewed him out on the street that day, he offered to buy her dinner and the two of them ended up having sex in a bathroom together after a few drinks. It wasn’t something he even thought would be more than a one-night stand, but they kept running into one another, so he figured it was the world hinting to him that maybe there was something there. Maggie was the first person he slept with after his late wife Lucille passed so it felt like he had to feel a certain way toward her.

“This is good,” Negan commented after he took another sip of the hot chocolate. For a few, they were just all silent and Negan didn’t know exactly what to say. He was still tipsy, his mind on other things and he knew that his kids were uneasy about the idea of being with Maggie and her family. Christmas was hard for all of them without Lucille. Finishing up the hot chocolate, Negan rubbed his hands together and pointed down the long hallway toward their bedrooms. “It’s time for bed. Daddy has to get in a shower and you two need to sleep.”

“I’ll get a shower ready for you,” Maggie pointed back down the hallway causing Negan to smirk.

“You don’t have to do that,” Negan suggested, but she was already headed down the hallway and he sighed.

“This is gonna suck dad,” Beau spoke up when Maggie disappeared into his bedroom at the end of the hallway. “I know she tries. She really does, but she’s nothing like mom. She’s so uptight and on all the fucking time.”

“Hey,” Negan hushed Beau after he said that word making Erin giggle and bury her head against Negan’s shoulder.

“Like you don’t swear all the time,” Beau reminded his father and Erin’s big eyes looked up at her dad. Sighing loudly Negan knew that he was right. Picking Erin up from the seat, Negan held her in his arms while they stood in the kitchen together. “I think Maggie is nice dad, but she’s just so…”

“Not like mom,” Erin reiterated reaching for Beau when he moved around the island. Erin clung tightly to her brother while he held onto her. “Mom was fun. We could get messy, play and she wouldn’t care. Maggie is not really fun. She brings nice gifts and she’s nice, but not…mom nice.”

“No one is ever going to be your mom guys. Your mom was one in a million,” Negan responded with a shrug of his shoulders knowing that they were right. Lucille was an incredible woman and the kids loved her just as much as he did. She brought light to their lives and happiness. Without her, something was definitely missing with all of them. “Maggie is trying. You have to remember that she’s not used to children being around.”

“It’s obvious,” Beau blurt out with a roll of his eyes, spinning his sister around in his arms making her laugh. “Sometimes I think she knows that you are a good catch so she doesn’t want to let go of that.”

“A good catch?” Negan chuckled with a thick rumble of laughter and Beau threw one of his arms out to hold it about gesturing to the apartment they were in.

“Dad, you have a good job. Your apartment is amazing. I’ve been to my friend’s homes. I know how lucky we are,” Beau stepped toward the large windows in the kitchen that looked over the city. “You’re rich dad. You have your shit together…kinda…”

“I don’t think Maggie is a gold digger if that’s what you’re suggesting,” Negan knew to stand up for Maggie in that sense because he never got that feeling from her, ever. Maggie was more of a relaxed woman that never took advantage of the fact he had money.

“No, I don’t think she’s a bad person dad,” Beau declared, his voice hitching because of how it was getting deeper with his age. “I just…she doesn’t feel right in our family. As a friend, sure…”

“I hear you buddy,” Negan hooked his arm around his son’s shoulders leading him toward the hallway to get them to their rooms. “Let’s get through the holidays and then we will figure everything out. Okay?”

“I hope we make it through the holidays,” Beau huffed, helping Negan get Erin in for bed. They both hung around to read her a story until she was finally asleep. Following Beau to his bedroom, Negan stopped when he saw the drawings that were on Beau’s desk. Reaching out for one of them, he saw that it was a photo of Lucille that Beau had been drawing. “That’s not done.”

“Beau, this is…” Negan reached for a few of the other drawings that were there noticing how talented his son had grown over the years. A lot of them were focused on Lucille and it took his breath away. “These are beautiful.”

“It’s the one way I can keep her alive,” Beau stepped in beside Negan who was staring down at the drawings. “Sometimes I get scared that I will forget what she looks like. So I draw her the way that I remember her. Her smile…”

Gazing at his son, he saw the tears that were developing in Beau’s eyes and Negan felt his heart break looking at the emotions his son was experiencing, “If I didn’t have that message she left for me on the phone, I think I would have forgotten what her voice sounded like.”

“I miss her too,” Negan was honest with his son noticing that he was getting emotional himself over the small moment they were having here. “I miss her painting the walls a new color every few months. Her ridiculous projects that she was always coming up with…”

“A lot of them never made sense, but they were fun,” Beau remembered reaching up to wipe at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I don’t want you to think I don’t love you dad, but Erin was always your shadow and I was mom’s. I miss that. I miss it so much.”

“Come here,” Negan set down the drawings, wrapping his son up in his arms tightly. Squeezing him close, Negan could hear his son crying and he didn’t blame him. This time of the year was always the worst for them. Lucille was so good with Christmas. By now, their apartment would have been covered in decorations. Top to bottom. Lights would have filled the hallways, music would be playing and everything would have always smelled like Christmas. Now he had a tree in the corner of the living room, but it wasn’t quite the same. Holding Beau long enough for him to calm down, Negan leaned back and captured his son’s jaw between his thumb and his index finger. “You were the one thing she was always the proudest of. You know that?”

“Yeah?” Beau muttered, his voice rasp and full of sadness when they talked about Lucille.

“Yeah. Me too. You were a surprise, but shit kid, you’re the best surprise I’ve ever gotten,” Negan brushed his fingers through Beau’s hair and he shook his head. “You might look like me, but you are so much like your mother. And you are so fucking talented. I couldn’t be prouder. You’re good at everything. It’s unbelievable how much talent is in one young boy.”

“You’re just saying that,” Beau pulled away from Negan to head over to his bed to sit down on the edge of it.

“I’m not. I have the coolest fucking kid in the world. You draw, you play like what…four fucking instruments? And you’re good at all of them. You’re an actor. You’re a good cook. You know how to fix cars…” Negan listed off and Beau snickered, curling his fingers around the edge of the bed. “You love photography, you paint…”

“You taught me that stuff dad,” Beau pointed out and Negan threw his hands up in the air.

“Beau, I was never this fucking talented at your age,” Negan nodded toward the drawings that were on Beau’s desk. “You’re smart. You’re sweet and you’re a great big brother. I don’t think you realize how awesome you really are kid. Truthfully? You’ve probably had to grow up fast because of me. You take care of your sister,” Negan headed over to sit down beside Beau on his bed and he sighed. “And you’ve taken care of me. Which was something you should have never had to do.”

“We’re a family. That’s what you do when you love someone,” Beau claimed, drawing Negan to stare out at him and narrow his eyes out at his son. “You’re an amazing dad. You work hard, yet you always still manage to make time for us. You always have. That’s what mom loved the most about you. You showed up, all the time. When you fall, I pick you up. When I’ve fallen, you’ve always saved me dad. Mom and you taught me from a very young age that when you love someone, you work hard to show it. You never know when someone is going to be gone. We learned that with mom. So I will always show my love for you and Erin. You work hard for us, so I will work hard for you.”

“I don’t know what I would have done without you,” Negan muttered with a shuddering breath, hooking his arm around Beau again to pull him in close for another hug. That was something he meant. If Beau wasn’t there, he was sure he would have broken down and given up, but his son always kept him going. Even in the worst moments of his life. “I love you so much bud. You’re the best kid a dad could hope for. Just listening to you talk…seeing the way you are…I don’t know how I got so lucky. I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too,” Beau repeated, giving Negan one more big hug before getting up to get ready to go to bed. Even though Beau was upset, he was putting on a strong façade. It was his way of dealing with things and Negan knew that. “You should go get some sleep. We have a big drive tomorrow.”

“Yes dad,” Negan teased his son, standing up from the bed nudging his son playfully before heading for the door. “I love you so much kiddo. Never forget that.”

Giving Beau a wink, Negan closed the door behind him and then unhurriedly moved to his bedroom. Entering his room, he let out a tight exhale when he saw that Maggie was getting ready for bed standing before him in her lingerie. Swiftly closing the door behind him, Negan started undoing the buttons in his shirt and he knew that she noticed he was sad.

“Everything okay? Did the kids get to bed?” she spoke up and Negan nodded. Getting his shirt apart, Negan pulled it from his body and tossed it toward the hamper hearing her sigh. “What happened?”

“We just started talking about Lucille. Beau and I,” Negan didn’t lie. There was no point. Working to get his pants off after he kicked out of his shoes, Negan stood before Maggie in his boxer briefs and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s hard around this time of the year.”

“I understand,” she stepped forward, her hands reaching out to caress in over the side of Negan’s face. Lowering down, Negan hooked his fingers into his socks to pull them off and sighed. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

“I just need to take a shower,” Negan informed her pointing in the direction of the shower. Going to move for the bathroom, Negan stopped when he felt her fingers hooking around his wrist. “Maggie, I just…it’s hard around this time of the year without her. Things are really different. The kids miss her, I miss her…”

“I know,” she hushed him, pulling herself in closer to him with her fingers stroking over the center of his chest to tease through the dark curls of hair. “I just wish I knew what I could do to help you. A way to make you feel better.”

“Just time,” Negan responded knowing that he would never get over the death of Lucille. She was the love of his life and nothing would change that. He would always love his wife and he wasn’t sure that Maggie would understand that. Truthfully? Negan wondered if he was the first big relationship that she ever had. “Thanks Maggie.”

“Sure,” she eyed him over when he headed for the bathroom.

Turning on the shower, Negan noticed that she put out a towel for him along with a set of clothes for him to put on once he was done with the shower. The kids weren’t wrong, she was kind of controlling in a way. Negan kicked out of his boxer briefs and then stepped under the warm spray of the water. Today was a big day mentally for him. Between what happened with Y/N at work and his conversation with Beau, Negan was in a whirlwind of emotions. Pressing his hands against the wall of the shower, Negan remembered what it was like tonight with Y/N. It was something that was lingering in his mind and he wished he could have talked to her right now.

With Maggie in his bed, Negan spent more time in the shower than he should have. Scrubbing good enough in hopes that she wouldn’t realize something happened tonight. Turning the shower off once he was done, Negan grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his body. Wiping the steam off the mirror, he braced his hands on top of the counter and he stared out at himself. The right thing would have been to tell Maggie. Instead of dragging her on. Then again, she did mention the kids being pampered at her family’s home. They deserved that kind of thing during Christmas after everything they had been through with Lucille.

Pushing aside his feelings, Negan got dressed, brushed his teeth and then headed out into the bedroom to see that Maggie was sitting up watching something on the television. Crawling into the bed beside her, Negan turned off the light that was beside his head and laid down trying to get comfortable.

“What do you think about marriage?” Maggie muttered after Negan had cuddled his head in against the pillow and closed his eyes to try to sleep. Gradually, his eyes fluttered to an open and he looked up at her. “That way you can try to start over?”

“We’ve talked about this before,” Negan reminded her knowing that it was something Maggie had brought up a lot in the past. He knew that she wanted him to ask her to marry him, but there were a lot of factors that had kept him from doing that. Negan knew this was a relationship where he got into it because he felt lonely. And that’s not how relationships were supposed to be. In his mind at least. Sure, he was comfortable enough, but he didn’t feel that connection that he knew that he felt when he was with Lucille.

“I know we’ve talked about it before, but with Christmas around the corner, it was just on my mind. All of these romance films playing on almost every channel,” she waved her hand about pointing toward the television where she had one of the typical Christmas films on. “It gets you thinking about things. Where you want your life to go.”

“I prefer Die Hard,” Negan scoffed, lifting his head enough to look over at the television knowing that he was never a fan of those kind of movies after Lucille passed away. She liked them a lot and it was kind of her thing that the kids and him would tease her about. “Or Home Alone. Those are good.”

“Negan,” Maggie frowned that he was avoiding the discussion and he shrugged his shoulders. “You know when I first met you, you drove me crazy.”

“Yeah, you hated me. And then you fucked me,” Negan reminded her hearing the snicker that she released and it made Negan laugh. “I mean it’s the truth. You wanted to kill me and then we were screwing in the dark bathroom stall of a bar. You were wild, even for me. And that says something because I had a time where I was a bit too much myself.”

“We know how things started with us,” she noticed that Negan was lifting up on his elbows to stare out at her, his eyebrows arched. “I just thought by now I would be married and found the love of my life. Here I am now with you and it’s close to Christmas…”

“I know Christmas makes people feel a certain way,” Negan stated letting out a tense breath when Maggie adjusted in the bed beside him. Huffing out, Negan felt her crawling in over him and her hands braced in over the center of his chest. “Mags.”

“I like your children. I like you…” she palmed down in over the center of his chest down toward his abdomen to grasp at his body through his pajama pants. “You have one of the nicest cocks I’ve ever seen.”

“Is my cock important to you?” Negan’s slurred not sure how to respond while she palmed up and over his body. In other circumstances this may have turned him on, but it really wasn’t.

“I’m just saying you have a nice one,” she pointed out and they both looked down having him shift underneath her uncomfortably. “A lot of people don’t have a big dick and know what to do with it. You do. You make me feel good. I like being around you…”

“So that’s what you’re looking for? Someone with a nice cock that can make you feel good for the rest of your life?” Negan arched his eyebrow, trying to understand what she was saying and he could tell that he had her flustered. “I’m just trying to understand here Maggie. What is it about me that makes you want to marry me?”

“Of course it’s not your cock that makes me want to marry you. I want what every woman wants. To find a man that she is head over heels in love with that makes her happy. I want to have a life with someone that I enjoy sharing my life with. Someone that is my best friend where our chemistry is off the charts. Where every moment we look forward to being with one another and when we are apart, it’s miserable,” she lowered down to pepper kisses over Negan’s bottom lip. It was hard to react to that because Negan didn’t feel that with Maggie. He never did. He just liked not being alone. Loneliness made the pain of everything else feel so much worse.

“And that’s what you feel when you are with me?” Negan didn’t even really know how Maggie felt because she would tell him that she loved him. She was over all the time, but they never really connected with one another that well.

“Of course,” she kissed him further, reaching for the drawer that was beside the bed. Pushing a few things around, she returned with a condom and Negan licked his lips. “Let’s get one of these in before we go. I doubt we’re going to be able to get something in when we are there so…”

“Listen,” Negan slid further up, stopping her when she went to undo his pajama pants. Giving her an empathetic look, Negan looked down toward his lap and shook his head. “I don’t think I’ll be able to get it hard Maggie. I drank a lot tonight and with the kids still bouncing around��us having sex probably isn’t a good idea.”

“I’m sure after some work I can get the big guy going,” she went to move again, but Negan snatched the condom from her fingers to drop it back into the drawer. Closing it, Negan reached up to stroke his fingers over the side of her face. “Is everything okay?”

“I feel kind of vulnerable right now,” Negan pulled her further in over his lap allowing her to cup his face in her hands. “Can we just kiss tonight? It’s just with everything so focused on Lucille tonight, I’m just sad and I could really use some cuddling and kissing.”

“Aw, baby,” she frowned stroking her fingers in over the side of Negan’s face. With a weak smile, Negan didn’t know why he didn’t click with Maggie. She was feisty and he liked them that way. She could kick his ass easily and she would if she wanted to. She was stunning. Beautiful. Full of energy, but there was just something that was missing. Bringing their lips together, Maggie stroked her fingers over the back of his neck attempting to get intimate with him. A soft, faint knocking sound was heard and it was followed by the bedroom door opening which had Maggie pulling herself from over Negan.

“Hey honey,” Negan sat up in the bed seeing that Erin was standing at the door holding her blanket and her stuffed animal in her arms. “Are you okay?”

“Daddy? Can I sleep with you tonight?” Erin begged of her father and without even thinking about it, Negan pat the bed beside him making room for her. Sure, he could have asked Maggie, but this was his daughter. And honestly? He was thankful for her wanting to be in here with him. It stopped Maggie from getting handsy with him. Closing the door after she entered the room, Erin hopped up on the bed and Negan adjusted the blankets for her to get comfortable in beside him. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

“There is nothing wrong with that baby,” Negan pressed a loving kiss over his daughter’s cheek, getting comfortable as she cuddled herself in his arms. Gazing back over his shoulder, he shot Maggie an empathetic look and she seemed to understand. Turning off the lights, Maggie got comfortable in bed with them and her arm hooked around Negan from behind. Having the warmth of her breath at the base of his neck felt nice and being held was something he enjoyed, but he wondered if it was really Maggie that he wanted it to be with.

Like this? It was pretty easy to fall asleep. And he was exhausted. So he didn’t wake up until it was morning and it was Maggie that started moving. Even Erin was moving about before he finally got up. There was the headache that he was expecting from over drinking last night. Usually, he didn’t drink that much and that was why. He hated having hangovers. At this point, he just had to get dressed and finish packing a few things.

Frowning, Negan looked back over his shoulder at his dresser. Moving toward the top drawer, he pushed a few things around and grabbed the black box that he had shoved in there a week or two ago. Opening it, he gazed over the engagement ring that he had bought for Maggie after she had brought it up several times. Knowing that he hated being lonely and he liked the company, Negan had bought this in hopes to appease Maggie. There was the notion that he would propose to Maggie at her family’s home on Christmas. Swiping his thumb in over the ring, he sighed and closed the box backup. At this point, he didn’t even know if he should bother bringing this with him. With how he was feeling in the last day, he was actually questioning his judgement.

“Fuck,” Negan heard someone moving throughout the hallways and he headed over toward the bag to push the box into his bag to keep it hidden. Beau knocked at the doorframe and Negan threw the bag in over his shoulder.

“I got some coffee started for you,” Beau informed his father with a weak smile. Beau didn’t want to do this and Negan knew that, but he wasn’t complaining. Which was something that he appreciated from his son.

“You’re a life saver,” Negan pressed a kiss against Beau’s temple before moving to the kitchen with everyone. All of the bags were ready, Negan just needed to drink his coffee and then he would take everyone’s things to the car.

Beau helped him get things situated before they all got into his SUV and started their journey. Negan picked something up for them to eat and then they were headed to Maggie’s family’s home. The sad thing is? When they used to do this with Lucille, the car was never quiet. They always had some kind of fun or talking going on. Right now? It was silent. Maggie was holding onto his hand, Erin was taking a nap and Beau was reading a book. Boring would be an understatement.

Every so often Negan would try to start a discussion, but it was hard to get really any of them interested. Lucille was always the one that was good at this stuff. He was good at being silly and getting the laughs, but she was good at keeping everyone excited and happy. No matter how lame their vacation was about to be.

The drive was longer than any of them would have liked. By the time they started getting out in the middle of nowhere, Negan could see that Beau was staring out at the window and he was panicked. The only life that Beau and Erin ever knew was the life of the city. So this? This was completely different for them.

Maggie directed Negan to her home and when Negan got there, he drove up the long winding driveway to the large home that sat up on the hill. It was nothing but land, trees and their farm and that alone made his family uncomfortable. Negan could just tell by their breathing that neither one of his children knew how to react.

Getting out of the car, Negan noticed that people were coming to the door after they heard the car. Maggie got out of the car and ran up the driveway to meet a younger blonde girl to give her a big hug to spin her around. Beau got out of the car with Negan and met him at the door where he was going to grab Erin.

“What the hell did you get us into dad?” Beau wondered, grabbing a hold of Negan’s arm to get him to look back at the home before Negan went for Erin. “There is enough time for us to turn around and take off. What do you think?”

“We can’t do that Beau,” Negan frowned, rubbing at the back of his neck in a moment of tension. “I do agree with you though, I’m not a fan of how all of this feels.”

“Shit,” Beau muttered under his breath, his eyebrows furrowing when he helped his father get Erin out of the car along with their things. By the time their things were unpacked, Maggie was bringing her family down to meet them.

“Negan, Beau, Erin…this is my little sister Beth, this right here is my stepbrother Shawn, this is my stepmother Annette,” Maggie was introducing them and each person would shake the hand of every single one of them until she got to her father. “And this is my daddy, Hershel.”

Now that’s where things got weird. Hershel shook the hand of both of the kids, but when he got to Negan, he stared down at Negan’s hand like it was disgusting. Maggie looked tense when she reached out to place her hand in over her father’s shoulder, “Daddy.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Negan let out a tense sound when Hershel finally accepted his hand, but the pressure that Maggie’s father was putting on his hand was extraordinarily hard. It surprised Negan because even by the look in Hershel’s eyes he seemed furious with Negan. A man he had never met or even talked to. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“So you’re the guy that’s keeping my daughter all the way out there in the city?” Hershel confirmed with Negan making Negan let out a hesitant exhale and looked to Maggie. At this point, Negan was trying to let go of Hershel’s hand but he was still holding onto his hand.

“I thought Maggie was in the city long before she ever met me,” Negan recalled and he pulled his hand back enough for him to stumble after Maggie nudged her father to release Negan.

“I was,” Maggie offered up and Beau shot his father a look like he was shocked with what just went down. “Do you guys want to see around the farm? We have horses, those are pretty cool. What do you say Erin?”

“Sure,” Erin shrugged her shoulders, not sure what to exactly agree to now that they were on the farm.

“Hershel,” Annette nudged Hershel’s arm nodding toward a car that was starting to pull up the long driveway and it parked beside Negan’s SUV. “She’s here.”

“And?” Hershel rumbled surprising Negan, his head tipping to the side when both Hershel and Maggie stayed back when the rest of the family ran out to the car that had just arrived. At this point, Negan was seriously considering what Beau suggested. At first, Negan thought this was going to be easy, but he noticed there was an immediate hate that Maggie’s father seemed to have for him.

“I’ll be back,” Maggie caressed over Hershel’s arm before nodding toward the car that showed up. “You will have to excuse me, there is another one of the members of the family.”

Clinging tightly to his bag, Negan didn’t know how to respond to everything happening. Negan was thankful that the spotlight was taken off of him, but maybe he shouldn’t have done this. Maggie was the one that convinced him that this was a good idea. And now with his children standing behind him uncomfortable, he felt like maybe this was a stupid idea to begin with.  

“It’s so good to see you,” Maggie had stepped forward drawing Negan to look over his shoulder. A grunt fell from his throat, his chest tightening when the woman that she was hugging turned on her heel after hugging Maggie.

Immediately a yelp fell from her throat when Negan’s eyes connected with hers, “Negan?”

“Y/N?” Negan muttered, his head tipping back when he realized this was the world’s way of fucking him over to the extreme right now.

“You two know one another?” Maggie pointed between the two of them noticing the discomfort in both of their bodies when they saw one another. There was a silence and everyone was looking between the two of them. “Negan?”

“Yeah, she’s my boss,” Negan threw his hand up in the air pointing out at Y/N feeling his heart hammering inside of his chest. Dropping his head down, he felt a warmth flooding into his cheeks realizing exactly where this was going. “Shit.”

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor​ @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams  @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny​ @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune​ @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx  @insertneganhere​ @haleygreen23​ @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost​ @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight  @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @promiscuousbarnes​ @tone-stark @lanadelnegan

[sundays-mutt]

mutuals i know you don't know arthur morgan and a lot of you never will but i really need you to know how Moving and Compelling the cowboy game is like im being deranged of course and i do hyperfixate so often but arthur morgan is such a well written character he has such an amazing arc and genuinely it makes me sick thinking about him for more than a single minute. his entire story is based in this inevitable doom and its obvious from the beginning of the game that things are starting to go wrong. you learn about arthur slowly, and at the start - he's exactly the kind of man and protagonist you expect. he's cold and he's uncaring at least seemingly and he's awkward and he's badass and what every man who plays a game like this would want. but then he isn't. you start to play the game and you look at arthurs journal and you get to see him introspect and you get to view the sort of tenderness he sees the entire world with. he is so tender he is so thoughtful he is so considerate of nature and he takes so many things to heart. he has something to say and introspect of everyone he meets. he cares deeply about this world he's in and struggles so much to find a place with in. he admonishes himself and praises characters like charles who seem to be so good naturally. he believes deeply in his own evil and acts on, and he has a code sure - but he never feels good about what he does and it causes him such deep strife. he clings onto the life he has because its all he knows. being an outlaw is all he has ever known of himself, been like that since he was fourteen. just a boy and the two men who adopted him into his gang. he clings so desperately onto this belief that even when things fall apart, all arthur can hope for is that he can save those he cares about. its what he has always wanted deep down. its who he is which is someone who is sensitive and careful and wants deeply to live in a good world and be apart of a good world. the gang falls apart and everything goes to shit and where does that leave arthur? when young men and good men die? the man he admires as his father dies and whats left of them becomes the worst version of himself and so arthur, after all of this time, becomes his own man. at some point, he realizes what matters most to him is his brother and the woman he has a child with. and he realizes that he is simply afraid but what of exactly? of believing that he was good all along. of accepting that he has changed and that he was always good. its all so very complicated and shit starts to go down hill so quickly and just when you think it can't get worse - arthur goes to the doctor. hes sick. its tuberculosis. ailment that he received when he beat a man who couldn't pay his debts and committed a sin so great. arthur is going to die. he's sick. its not a bullet that will kill him but the weakness in his body. the same thing will happen to him in some crazy tragedy. arthur will give his life up for john and he won't regret it. he'll tell the shell of his father figure that he gave up everything for him. he will die alone in the mountains and see a stag bathed in yellow gold. but he will believe in goodness at the end because of a nun in saint denis and the woman mothering his little brothers child. he will believe deeply in the kindness of the world because he chooses to. arthur will die because he is doomed to die. there's nothing he can do except go, and he will never live to know what an impact he had on those around him. every life he's ever touched so profoundly effected by him and he never gets to find out. the man he used to admire so much, charles, buries arthur somewhere where the sun always rises. even in death he haunts the world of the game like a ghost. arthur morgan is dead and you'll hear him every where you go. john inherits his dead brothers journal and his guns and everything else and he learns a side to him he never knew. arthur morgan is dead and the world rippled in his absence like a drop of water pulsing through a lake. and he loved. most of all he loved the people around him. he loved.

[revvethasmythh]

Some aspects of Laudna's behavior from the most recent ep have really started to stand out to me re: her backstory. We're told basically that after leaving Whitestone she roamed to different cities and was subsequently run out of many places by the townsfolk for being...well, a creepy undead witch. This is really all we know of thirty years of her life, we have nothing more detailed than that until Gelvaan, which is also not very detailed on what exactly she was doing there. And it's interesting because this backstory feels like it's meant to elicit a lot of sympathy on Laudna's behalf--i.e. she is being wrongly chased out of places for the crime of being/looking different. But something about the way she approached Imahara Joe's establishment--sending in the creepy whispers, specifically making a bunch of terrifying "rattling noises", and responding with a smile and saying "It works every time" when they heard a noise in response--really has me like. okay. Laudna, did you get chased out of places because you were terrorizing people in those places? because it sounds like you've done this before, potentially many times, and what's "fun scary" to one person can so very easily be "scary scary" to the people on the other end of the schtick.

Laudna clearly loves people, but I do have to wonder if she experiences a certain amount of dissonance about the effects that her actions cause. She very much has this Manic Demon Nightmare Girl persona thing going on, and that delighted, manic energy mixed with her penchant for the macabre, often directed at other people where she enjoys their freaked out reactions? I think, perhaps, there were reasons she kept getting run out of places that we have not, uh, unpacked as of yet.

To go deeper with this, Laudna is a character who rarely feels like she's in charge of her own destiny. Some of this is intentional, like the repeated puppet imagery re: Delilah. But I wonder if, perhaps, Laudna is someone who has had so many things--bad things, terrible things--happen to her that she had learned to erase her own role in her life. There was nothing she could do when the Briarwoods took over Whitestone, there was nothing she could do when she was murdered by Delilah, and there was nothing she could do when she was resurrected as the undead creachure that she is today. But there are thing she could have done in the intervening thirty years to change her situation. She could have pursued threads about getting rid of Delilah for thirty years, long before meeting Imogen. She could have (somewhat) altered her behavior so she wasn't freaking people out wherever she went and maybe she could have stayed somewhere. She could have been proactive in making changes and pursuing things in her life and I just wonder if she has forgotten that she can do that for herself and that the things she does do have consequences. In ep 49, she told Imogen, "The gods have never kept us from our ability to have a choice." But she only says this to Imogen. When does Laudna finally make an active choice? When does she realized that her behavior and the consequences of the behavior are in her control? When does Laudna decide that it's time to stop being a spectator in her own story, a person that things happen to? Soon, I hope. She should be the main character of her own story, and right now she simply isn't