#cause she believes she isn't a good person/doesn't want to be/is okay with it

[chippedshake]

prompt request: cherry and bob on their first date WALK WITH ME ON THIS ONE

okay okay so I will definitely be writing this in the near future but for now here's the skeleton of my idea because I'm impatient ok (i've never written either of these characters so bear with me):

we open with a Marcia and Cherry scene

Cherry's getting ready to go on her date with Bob and she's kinda not all that excited because she's gone out with guys before and she always thought they were sweet and smart and nice and whatever but they turned out to just be assholes who were into her because she was pretty and popular

so even though she likes Bob, she can't convince herself that he's different from everyone else

I have developed a whole strategy for how she'll pick out her clothes

I love Marcia so even though she isn't in these bullet points you better believe she's gonna be in the fic

Then Bob appears

Cherry describes like an archetype of what first dates are usually like and Bob will subvert. every. single. point.

like 1st one is the guy always shows up with flowers that are always a pain because they die quickly and Cherry doesn't even like flowers all that much but lo and behold Bob shows up with a chocolate chip cookie from her favourite place

when she asks he says she mentioned once that she doesn't like flowers and finds them depressing and that they ran into each other in the bakery a couple months ago and she said it was her favourite place

Bob is down bad okay

1.5th point because I'm adding this later and don't feel like editing everything: the guy will always say "you look pretty" the moment they see her and Cherry doesn't like it because it feel artificial, like it's just their obligation to say it

Bob trained with Bev (idk if you've seen/heard of the musical but she's a Soc girl they made up to be friends with Cherry and Marcia) about what to say to a girl and compliments her earrings in particular and the colour combination

then the 2nd point is that they always bring her to a way too fancy restaurant that neither of them really like

They go out for a picnic and it's actually a really pretty setting and Bob is a terrible cook so he brought like sandwiches or something that his mom had to help him make

also 3rd point. guaranteed awkward silence when they have nothing to talk about, followed by the guy rambling about himself.

First question Bob asks: what do you wanna work as

and they talk about how Cherry wants to be a kindergarten teacher

then she asks the same question back and he says he wants to be a lawyer

when she asks why he just says his dad's a lawyer

maybe a cute moment where she says he’s his own person? idk

4th point: at some point the guy puts his hand on her thigh or something and she tries to wriggle out as subtly as possible

subverted, as usual

I'm sorry but Bob absolutely will earn the "stood out from the crowd" and "he was sweet" title, okay? In Ponyboy’s words: Cherry's smart. She wouldn't like him just 'cause he's good-looking

5th point: they're ridiculously smooth and are still flirting with her on the date, and it feels like they're trying to conquer her or something and it's incredibly uncomfortable

Bob stutters a bit and messes up and goes back on his words and will accidentally make like fifteen innuendos and apologise each time but Cherry likes it because it makes her feel like he actually likes her and is nervous (that's because it's true mijita)

finally, 6th point: they always try to kiss her goodnight even when she makes it abundantly clear they won't be seeing each other again

Bob actually fucking shakes her hand and goes to head back to his car

They end up hugging goodbye and make sure to coordinate a second date

the end

they're very cute and I love them. I hadn't ever thought about them really so thank you for the ask <3333

[imogenkol]

Pairing: Imogen Kol (oc) x Bix Caleen Word Count: 3,535 Rating: Mature Warnings: loss of limb, mentions of torture, trauma Tags: more traumatic backstory, angst, hurt/comfort, trying and failing to repress feelings Read it on Ao3! / Previous Chapter

Summary: In the days of recovery on Gangi Moon, Imogen is faced with her own repressed truths.

Imogen’s sharp scream cut a tense silence throughout the chamber as it echoed off the walls, and she collapsed onto the floor. The Inquisitor clutched at the freshly cauterized stump of her left leg. The strike had been swift and precise – right above the knee. Half of her leg gone, just like that. She could hardly believe it. 

With the scent of her own burning flesh acrid in her lungs, agony scorched throughout her nerves. She fought to conceal it as much as she could. Weakness would not bode well with her peers. They studied her closely now, searching for the slightest crack in her facade.

The hum of Vader’s lightsaber accompanied by his mechanical breaths became the only sounds in the training room. The blade’s aura reflected off of the mirrored black floor and bathed her in a crimson light. Imogen felt the Dark Lord’s presence silently loom over her, waiting for a reaction. 

After a few shaky breaths, Imogen forced her gaze up to meet her Master’s. Her glare bore into the black lenses of his helmet so intensely that she could almost picture the eyes that hid behind them. Or maybe they just reflected her own storming irises. The longer she held his unreadable stare, the more white-hot rage boiled up from the source of her pain, filling every vein – every remaining limb and outward until the chamber physically shook. Imogen herself remained frighteningly still. 

“Good,” Vader said, sensing her hatred. 

His praise only made her angrier. “I have already killed one of my masters,” she growled through clenched teeth. “I would not push too far, my lord.” 

The entire chamber seemed to hold its breath, but Vader barely reacted to the threat. “Then take your blade and attempt to strike me down. Waste all of your fury on a foolish vendetta.” 

Imogen nearly reached for her lightsaber. One day, I just might, she thought to herself. 

Vader clutched the hilt of his saber a little tighter. The bright red blade hummed deeper for just a second as if it craved to take another limb. Perhaps Imogen’s head this time. “What you have will be taken from you if you are not willing to sacrifice it. I have given you a valuable tool, Inquisitor. Use it against your true enemies and you will grow more powerful than before.”

The chances of surviving an attack against Vader when she had both of her legs were slim to none. Being incapacitated and surrounded by other Inquisitors that wouldn’t hesitate to swarm her if she made a move against their master practically guaranteed failure. No matter. Imogen was no stranger to biding her time and waiting for the right opportunity. Besides, he was right. With the right amount of discipline, she could use the familiar resentment brewing inside to make herself strong enough to win any fight.

Imogen finally tore her vengeful scowl off of the Sith Lord and bowed her head. “Yes, Lord Vader.”

—

Imogen sat in the cockpit and absentmindedly massaged her leg where flesh met machine. It ached every now and then. For years she convinced herself to welcome the pain, yet still continued the practice of willing it away with a gentle hand in private. If no one saw her weakness, she could turn a blind eye to it, too, could she not?

Imogen wasn’t exactly alone now.

Bix had yet to find any sleep, but she continued to rest on the cot. Frequent checks throughout their flight path did little to assure Imogen of the mechanic’s recovery. Without the excitement of battle, whatever life Bix had gotten back only seemed to weigh heavier in the quiet of the ship. She would grow so overcome with bouts of shivers that even the coat Cassian had given her did not provide enough warmth. A whispered voice sometimes traveled through the halls of the Huntress as well, so small and haunting that Imogen could not make out a single word. They would silence as soon as she got too close, but she knew Bix muttered to herself. 

The longer their trip through hyperspace, the more the bounty hunter feared her mechanic was beyond repair. Once Imogen reunited Bix with her people, she could consider her obligation fulfilled and be on her way. It should not be her responsibility. She knew better. Yet, Imogen did not entertain the idea for more than a very brief moment. She felt as resolved as she did in that tunnel beneath the hotel.

Imogen reluctantly admitted to herself that she was resigned to stay, whatever that may look like. 

They arrived safely at their destination on Gangi Moon. Cassian must have named this particular system for its vacancy, but Imogen remained vigilant as she flew low in search of a proper place to land. Whether Cassian or any other refugees from Ferrix would arrive, it was too early to tell. The best Imogen could do was tuck the Huntress away in the safest area possible and activate her scanners for any ships that entered their range. 

It could be hours or even days of waiting, so Imogen decided to check on their supplies and run diagnostics to pass some time. As she walked about the ship, she would take note of Bix and her condition. Nothing much changed. The bounty hunter was far too out of her element. She only understood how to deal damage, not mend it. Imogen lingered by the cot, unsure of what to say or do.

For the first time in her life, Imogen felt useless and she hated herself for it. Not as much as she hated herself for her involvement in this mess. As she turned to leave, a clear voice broke the heavy silence. 

“Have you ever tortured someone?” Bix asked, her expression still mostly vacant. 

Imogen went still. This line of questioning would lead to nowhere good, but she answered honestly anyway. “Yes.” 

The revelation didn’t seem to surprise her. Why should it? Horror stories of the Inquisitors terrorizing the galaxy spread far and wide, especially during Imogen’s service to the Empire. “How did you do it?” 

Imogen balked further. “Is this really a conversation you wish to have, Bix?”

“Tell me,” she commanded with a weary tone.

After a long sigh, she said “I would force my way into their minds to extract the information I sought.” 

“And?”

It’s not that Imogen felt ashamed of her past. Rather, she felt shame for the absence of it. That never bothered her before the mechanic found a way into her heart. Imogen worried how Bix might look at her differently. She has known who Imogen used to be for a long time. It is not difficult to surmise the depth of evil that she has enacted. Despite being some ten years removed from the Empire, Imogen still carried the same darkness – the darkness that has been with her since she was a child. The darkness is her. Nothing and no one could change that.

“The process is invasive and excruciating enough that the subject would often confess just to get me to stop.” 

“How did it make you feel?”

“I never thought about that, it had simply been a part of my job.”

The mechanic finally locked eyes with the former Inquisitor. Her hollow, broken gaze mirrored many of Imogen’s victims after she had her way with them. A sudden and visceral reaction crawled up Imogen’s throat like sickness. Her fists clenched and she swallowed hard to push it down, shifting her weight onto her enhanced leg to avoid losing balance.

“How did it make you feel?” Bix calmly repeated. 

Imogen noticed her chest heave as she stared down at the floor. “Powerful.” Though the feeling twisting herself inside her now was anything but. 

“Thank you,” Bix said after a brief silence. Imogen’s brow creased and she glanced back up in confusion. “For being honest with me.”

She found honesty to be synonymous with painful truths, yet offered gratitude for receiving their knowledge. Bix had no judgment in her eyes. She did not glare at Imogen in hatred the way so many others have done in the past. Imogen found it strange, but once she contemplated it, she realized she should not have expected anything less. This was simply another form of Bix’s unshakeable boldness. 

Imogen recalled the first time the mechanic noticed her lightsaber. 

“It’s not what you think,” she said as Bix eyed the hilt on her belt.

The mechanic took it as a game at first. “Oh? And what do I think it is?”

“You have heard of the Empire’s Inquisitors?”

“Everyone has at this point.”

Imogen almost didn’t tell her. But at that time, she thought there were many other women in the galaxy to replace what she might lose for speaking the truth. How foolish to believe anyone else could compare to the pull she felt towards Bix. “Years ago, I went by the name of Fourth Sister. It has been even longer since I was called Jedi.”

Bix kissed her that day, despite the revelation of what she used to be. Her hands had unfastened her clothes and her lips dragged hungrily across her bare skin just as they had before she knew. Imogen missed her touch more desperately each passing moment, but she would have lost it anyway if she had not given it up. More importantly, she did not deserve to have it in the first place. 

Just then the ship’s sensors alerted. Imogen pulled herself out of her own mind and said “That might be Cassian.”

As she made for the cockpit, Bix’s hand shot out and caught her wrist. Imogen’s gaze zeroed in on their contact, her entire body stiffening once more. “Is this… Are you going to disappear again?”

She felt that familiar, recurring ache. “If you wish it.”

Bix shook her head. “I never have.”

All of the times she visited Ferrix, she never considered any of her exits to be a vanishing act. The way Bix spoke made it seem like Imogen had abandoned her often. How long had she quietly yearned for something more?

Imogen bit the inside of her cheek, hoping that the pain would overshadow what threatened to consume her. Though, it felt far too late for that. “Very well.”

The ship that crossed their range carried a small group of survivors from Ferrix. Cassian remained missing, but Imogen had a feeling that he must be alive out there somewhere. Or maybe she found Bix’s insistence on that assumption to be infectious. Either way, she reunited her mechanic with people that cared for her and that was good enough. 

While Imogen had every intention to stay, she kept her distance from the group. They built a fire at night and rested under a thick blanket of stars. Imogen lingered at the edge of camp and quietly observed them. The boy sat solemnly, occasionally wiping away a stray tear until the box shaped droid said something to him that brought the hint of a smile to his face. Brasso tended to the fire and made sure they all had enough to eat. In a way, they reminded her of the Mantis crew – a strange collection of people that formed a tight knit sense of community. It was a dynamic she witnessed many times throughout her life and one she always struggled to understand. 

Imogen’s gaze drifted back to her mechanic. The older woman, Jezzi, covered Bix in a blanket and held an arm around her as she started to drift off while staring into the flames. It may be the first time she will be able to get a proper rest. Imogen released some of the tension in her shoulders.

Her muscles tightened back up almost immediately when she noticed Brasso approach. 

The broad-shouldered scrapper held a bowl in his hand which he offered with an flat smile. “I wanted to say thank you for what you did.”

Imogen kept her arms crossed and looked away. “I have no use nor desire for your gratitude.” 

“What about for dinner?” He motioned for her to accept whatever steamed in the bowl. 

She could have survived well off of ration packs, but the savory scent of broth made her mouth water. After a long moment of hesitation, she reached out and took it. The wooden bowl’s warm sides were just cool enough to handle and she raised the edge of it to her lips, taking a small sip. The bountiful flavor flowed over her taste buds and settled comfortably in her stomach. Perhaps it would do her well to consider a little more variety in her rations.  

“Are you staying with us?” Brasso asked. 

“I am staying with her,” Imogen replied.  

“Right, well…” He followed her line of sight to where Bix had finally lost her battle against sleep. “I think that will be good.” 

She scowled, suspicious that anyone apart from Bix appreciated her presence. “Good?”

Brasso half-shrugged. “I was wrong about you.”

Imogen imagined that he has made many judgements towards her just as much as anyone else. It mattered little to her, since most were bound to be true. “You weren’t wrong about me.”

He shook his head and gave her a small, knowing smile that she did not like in the slightest. “I think many people are.”

Brasso stepped away and returned to the fire. Imogen watched them for a while longer, feeling rather perturbed by the scrapper’s last comment. She didn’t understand why she dwelled on it or why she cared enough to try and decipher his intentions. The bounty hunter could not care less about his impression of her, good or bad. Or so she thought. It gradually dawned on Imogen that an opinion other than Bix’s had suddenly held meaning for her. 

To seek out praise or high opinion was childish and led nowhere but a dead-end path. Imogen did not harbor such foolish insecurities, she was far better than that. So she shoved that naive sentiment down, set the bowl of broth aside, and trudged back to the Huntress alone for the night.

From then on, Imogen did her utmost to avoid them. She did not accept their food or warm herself by their fire and only communicated when she had to. No matter how hard she tried, though, she could not stray too far from Bix. Imogen always kept the mechanic within her sight. The desire to see her condition improve motivated Imogen to participate in her care. She encouraged Bix to eat and sometimes watched over her as she slept. What she enjoyed most were the walks she convinced Bix to take with her. 

A riverbank ran not too far from their makeshift camp. The morning shone brightly and the breeze blew crisp. It felt rejuvenating to have no one besides the company of the woman at her side and the gentle flow of water in her ears. 

They stopped by the edge for a few minutes. Imogen watched as Bix closed her eyes and tilted her head up towards the sun of Gangi Moon. Ferrix had been an overcast planet more often than not and its citizens became well adapted to the cold mist. Imogen assumed it must be nice to feel the warmth of a completely different star. Bix’s skin absorbed the golden rays, banishing the ashen tone from her time in captivity and returning to her normal tawny complexion. It brought Imogen a rare feeling of joy to see her look so peaceful after what she endured.

As if sensing Imogen’s stare, Bix cracked one eye open and gave the bounty hunter a side-long glance. “Wow,” she mused before closing it again. “You’re smiling.” 

Imogen hadn’t noticed the slip. With the mechanic’s averted gaze, she allowed the expression to linger. “It’s not as if you’ve never seen me smile before.” 

“I haven’t. Not like that,” Bix replied, her body swaying with the calm wind.

Imogen delayed her response to observe the other woman for as long as she could. “You’re mistaken.”

At that, Bix turned to fully look at her. She studied Imogen’s features without the slightest hint of shame until a gentle upturn tugged at the corner of her own mouth. “You have a beautiful smile.”

A muscle that Imogen didn’t even know she had twisted inside of her chest. She couldn’t bring herself to look away or utter a word. All she managed was to drink in the sunlight pouring honey into the mechanic’s rich eyes.

“Everything looks more beautiful to me now,” Bix continued, staring off over the water. “I took so many things for granted.” 

“Are you saying I am one of them?” Imogen asked incredulously. 

After a prolonged beat, Bix spoke thoughtfully. “The moment I realized what Timm had done, I felt like the biggest fool. I mourned him, I really did, but I was also so angry with myself because I should have known better. It’s something I would have expected you to do.” She chuckled softly and shook her head. “And yet… if you had asked me to be with you that day you left, I would have said yes.”

The bounty hunter nodded earnestly. “That is why I walked away.”

Bix’s smile turned as warm as the sun. “That’s why I shouldn’t have let you.” 

Imogen glanced down, grin still stuck on her lips. She didn’t expect Bix’s words to change things between them, but they were still good to hear. “In your defense, I have made far worse betrayals than Timm. Your judgment isn’t at fault, he was.” 

“I guess I better get used to people surprising me,” Bix said. 

“The trick is to lower your expectations.”

“Ironically, you’ve raised them.”

Imogen scoffed and folded her arms. “I find that hard to believe.”

“You cut Paak down.”

The bounty hunter clenched her jaw. She had forgotten all about Paak. How Bix could have possibly known Imogen cut his body down after the Imperials hanged him on Rix Road was a mystery. Their escape had been far too chaotic and she doubted the mechanic would have been able to spot his body, much less assume Imogen to be the one who had moved it. Regardless, Imogen felt sheepish at the accusation. 

“Brasso told me,” Bix explained. “He said some people saw you before dawn.”

“I did not wish for you to see him in such a state,” she admitted quietly. 

“Whatever your reason, that meant a lot. Not just to me.” 

The scrapper’s strange sentiment from the other night suddenly made more sense. Imogen weakly shook her head. “It was a waste of time.”

Bix reached out and gently untangled her arms to take one of Imogen’s hands in hers. It was the first real touch they shared since they arrived on the moon. Imogen felt Bix’s thumb caress her knuckles and her pulse skyrocketed as oxygen stuttered in and out of her lungs. “I don’t believe you really think that.”

Imogen’s body seemed locked in place like she had been made of stone. But then her joints loosened one by one and her boot slid over the damp soil as she took a step closer. She knew it hadn’t been a waste of time, not when she received the look she got now. With a numb hand, she slowly reached up and brushed the tip of her thumb across the mechanic’s cheek. The touch so brief and feather-light that Bix might have mistaken it for the breeze if she hadn’t seen it coming. 

“I did it because I care about you,” Imogen finally said out loud. She cared so much she thought her chest might burst.

Bix squeezed her hand as tight as a tether. “I know you do.”

“Then why does it matter so much for you to hear me say it?” she asked desperately, fear and anger coiling around her throat like twin serpents. 

“Because I know how hard it is for you to be open.”

The serpents tightened like an invisible noose. What was she meant to do with this? Imogen could not have her, yet she did not possess the strength to let her go either. The one defense that has kept the bounty hunter alive for years and years crumbled down to rubble. Imogen no longer wished to be alone and she wondered if it had been that way all along, buried so deeply that she never noticed it before. Somehow, she felt more lost than ever at that moment. But her hand still rested in the gentle grip of her mechanic and she focused on the warmth of her skin to ground herself. 

“And it’s… really good to hear it, too,” Bix added softly. 

“Bix, I –”

“Bix!” An excited voice called close by. They both glanced over to see Wilmon rush over as he pointed at the sky. A lone ship in the distance traveled towards them at a low altitude. Imogen tensed, but the boy quickly explained. “It’s Cassian!” 

Much remained unsaid. The conclusion Imogen came to as Bix smiled at her and led her back to camp was that she was completely and utterly damned. They both were. 

[unclewaynemunson]

“I need to tell you something.”

Shitfuckno. Eddie doesn't even know why he's still surprised. This is how it always goes, after all. He should probably just give up and stop dating altogether – again.

Steve looks at him exactly as ominously as the words I need to tell you something require. Perfect Steve. Funny Steve. Sweet Steve. Sexy Steve. Steve, who Eddie had genuinely believed to be different.

Eddie sighs, barely suppressing a dark chuckle while he turns away from that perfect face. He doesn't want to look at Steve when he'll tell him the undoubtedly messed-up shit he's about to spill.

“Lemme guess, you're married?” That was what the last guy he dated told him, seven months after they got to know each other. It can't be much worse than that, can it?

Steve grabs Eddie's hand, causing him to involuntarily jerk up his head and meet his eyes.

“How did you know?”

Jesus H. Christ. Not again.

Eddie roughly pulls his hand out of Steve's grip and laughs a joyless laugh.

“Apparently I'm a good guesser.”

He stands up from the park bench the two of them had been sharing. “Well, Steve, this has been a blast. You should go back to your wife, or husband – don't tell me, I don't even wanna know – and I should um, get going. Maybe tell the next person right away what they'll be getting themselves into. Would save them a lot of wasted time, just in case cheating and going around other people's backs isn't really their thing, y'know.”

“Eddie, wait, let me explain!”

Eddie picks up his pace, but Steve, stubborn as he is, easily keeps up with him.

“I'm really not interested, man.”

“It's not – I'm not cheating on her!”

“Okay, so you have an open marriage, good for you. Still the kind of information you could've shared with me, say, three months ago, don't you think?”

“She's a lesbian.”

And that makes Eddie freeze on the spot. It takes Steve two steps before he realizes Eddie has stopped moving; he walks backwards until he's standing right in front of Eddie.

“She's my best friend,” he says, immediately using Eddie's stunned silence to his advantage. “Robin, my roommate – I told you all about her. We wanted to buy a house together and that turned out to be very complicated when you're not... Well, when you're not romantically involved. So we got married. For the, um, practical reasons. We never – we're like siblings. I love her like a sister. But she's also my wife. Platonically.”

It takes a few seconds until Steve's words sink in. Then, Eddie leaps forward and basically collapses into Steve's arms, needing to hold onto him to prevent himself from crashing to the ground.

Steve's arms are warm, strong, and as safe as ever.

“Eddie, are you okay?” Steve asks softly. His lips brush against Eddie's ear while he speaks, and worry colors his voice.

Perfect Steve. Too-good-to-be-true Steve.

“Jesus Christ, Steve,” is the only thing Eddie manages to say.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” Steve says. “It's just – I've gotten some, um... Less than ideal reactions, in the past, whenever I told this when I was seeing someone. So I thought it'd be better to wait until things were getting serious.” He sighs, tangling his fingers in Eddie's hair. “I didn't wanna scare you off. Are we – are you okay?”

Eddie nods. He lifts his head from where it's resting against Steve's shoulder and raises his hands to squeeze them around Steve's face.

“We're okay,” he says. “And I'm sorry I didn't want to listen to you. I–” He stops; he can't find the words right away. It's still difficult to talk about those things; to let himself be vulnerable. But Steve has been honest with him, so it's only fair to return the favor.

“I've been hurt, Steve,” he confesses. “More than once. I've had some really shitty experiences with dudes not being honest with me. I thought that that was what was happening again, and I couldn't – I couldn't go through that again. Especially not with you.”

“Jesus, Eddie, I'm so sorry.”

“It's okay,” Eddie rushes to say, pulling Steve even closer towards him. “I trust you.” And as soon as these words leave his mouth, he knows it's the truth.

“I do want to be absolutely clear about one thing, though,” Steve says.

Eddie leans back in Steve's arms to give him an expectant look.

“Robin is my wife. I'm not planning on that to change anytime soon. We've been through a lot together. She's been the most important person in my life for years. We own a house and a dog together, and I love her more than anything. I like you a lot, and I promise you I'm all-in with you, but... Robin is still my number one. And that's not gonna change overnight. I need you to be okay with that.”

Eddie swallows. He looks into Steve's eyes. All he sees is a man who is honest, who loves his friends deeply, and who refuses to make any compromises when it comes to love – whether it be the platonic or the romantic kind.

It doesn't scare Eddie off; it only makes him fonder of Steve.

He smiles, glances around to check if they're alone, and presses a quick kiss against Steve's lips.

“I think I can live with that,” he says. “As long as I'm the only one who gets to do this.” He closes his eyes and lets his lips meet Steve's again.

The sigh that Steve breathes into their tentative kiss is one filled with relief.

[neverfilth]

"Bloberta made Clay drink so-"

OKAY, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY?

Let me explain

'Help'.

A very important word when describing Bloberta.

First, it is integral to understand that Bloberta feels torturously alone and unwanted. Her friends are all getting married while she has no one.

She isn't clever enough to help Censordoll.

Her own family leaves her out of the family choir. 

And the only crumb of validation she is offered is from her mother.

“Why don't you help me out and… Clean your room?” Note even the slight pause her mother has, as if she doesn't even know what to do with Bloberta.

Next, we see her trudge to her room. And what does she hide under the covers of her bed?

A flask.

She turns to alcohol when she is confronted with how unwanted she is. But where did that draw to alcohol come from?

We know she comes from a home where she is ultimately ignored and seen as valueless by everyone except one person.

Her Father.

I have a lot of thoughts about Bloberta and Raymond's relationship (the one scene where they interact just UGH LIVES IN MY HEAD) but the main thing to get away from it is that she associates the act of drinking with her Father.

A man who, without alcohol, is unable to speak his mind at all. He drinks to better tolerate his situation and his wife, who clearly doesn't value his words or opinions.

But Bloberta is very receptive to her Father, she greatly values his company and his thoughts and she finds comfort in being around him. She feels like someone cares about her and values her even if she knows he can't change anything.

Notice that despite her desperation to speak with her father, to form that connection that would validate her, she can't even touch him because she knows doing so would break the frail connection they have currently. Her Father is so reserved that at this point, any unexpected emotional reach would immediately cause him to shut down and retreat. Demonstrated just by him closing up immediately after she told him she loved him.

So how does this affect Blobertas perception of alcohol?

Well she says it herself.

"I think it helps us to be better people".

This rationality was reinforced by the small acts of kindness her father would show her.

And we don't have any reason to believe she is lying about this because up until the night of the reception, she's experienced nothing that contradicts this belief.

Bloberta's reliance on alcohol can be seen as her reaching for a solution to her need to feel wanted. She knows she's left out, both by friends and family. But if she believes drinking can make you become a better person? Then of course she would drink, because maybe then someone will want her.

What does she say directly after that?

"My Father drinks.”

Further insinuating her belief that he is good and he is the main reason she sees alcohol as a positive force.

She thought it would genuinely help Clay.

There's that word again.

Importantly, notice her clear anxiety and tenseness in her beginning interactions with Clay. From her first question, their conversation began falling apart.

So what happened?

Just after the wedding, she was almost suave in the way she invited Clay to the reception.

Why was she so nervous now?

Well, in her eyes, this was her chance.

After an undisclosed time of having no luck she finally convinces a handsome single man to have some semblance of a date with her.

She NEEDS this to go well.

So she's obviously anxious and stressed, and that's showing, but she figures that some drinks will make it easier for both of them. She's full panicking because she feels it's just so normal to drink, especially socially, and she can't understand why he wouldn't drink. She has no frame of reference for that mindset.

Things are already awkward between them once they settle in, and its not getting better. So of course she is going to fall back on what makes things easier for her.

And initially things are looking up.

Suddenly Clay's more talkative, and more receptive to what she's saying.

He's complimenting her.

He says she helped him.

The one thing she wants more than anything is to feel useful, she wants to be able to fit into that role that everyone expects her to so that she can be of worth to someone.

She isn't worth it to her peers,

she isn't worth it to her family,

but she could be worth it to him.

This only reinforces her resolve. 

This is it.

She is going to finally find her place to fit in, and everyone will welcome her with open arms as she finally finds her place in the role society has chosen for her.

But it's not that simple.

Things go south quickly, Clay doesn't want these things that Bloberta has to have. 

But she needs them.

To Bloberta, those things are proof of your value. The value society, friends, and family place on you.

Who would she be if she couldn't attain that value?

We again recognize that Bloberta has a fixation on being helpful. Helpfulness is the clearest indication of one's value, after all.

After being turned away by Clay, she immediately returns to a default ‘helpful’ act, cleaning. Just like her mother would tell her to do. But this was still her only chance, and Clay had already told her she had helped him. If she could only help him again, then maybe she had a chance at the real value she craved.

Once her anger passes and Clay sobers up, she returns to him and paints herself as ‘helpful’ as possible. She's desperate for that validation again, and if he would agree to her help then everything would certainly be fine.

She is practically begging him, help becomes a plea for him to save her from the pain of her day to day.

She hopes more than anything he will accept her and make all her pain go away.

He does accept, but in exchange, her previous world view is shattered.

Drinks don't help you become a better person.

They just help your true nature come out.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey, sex batman! i recently found out that im like, super into hurting people. like, Super into hurting people in a sexual context. does that make me, like, a bad person?

hi anon,

I'm not really interested in declaring who is and isn't a bad person, because I'm not a cop. let's work with something a little more actionable, like "what impact are my actions having on others?"

now, broadly speaking, many people would hear "I like to hurt people" and have the knee jerk reaction that that's bad a scary. but let's pump the breaks and consider nuance and context.

you know who loves to hurt people? my tattoo artist. she punctures my skin, makes me bleed, and causes permanent damage to my body, and she takes great pride in her work. I don't know if you've ever gotten a tattoo, but your body does very much react like you've been hurt, because you have. it doesn't matter that I sought out the pain and willingly paid for it; I was very much injured.

so does that make my tattoo artist a bad person? most people would say no, because she's only hurting people who ask her to do so and are aware of the risks, sober, and of legal age to consent to body modifications. she also follows appropriate guidelines to make sure that while she is hurting me she's doing it as safely as possible, minimizing the risk of infection or other complications that would cause me unnecessary pain or make my healing more difficult.

so we can agree that under these circumstances my tattoo isn't a terrible pervert unfit for society, right? she's a person doing something she likes to people who eagerly seek her out for exactly that purpose.

okay, now let's look at you. you want to hurt people sexy style. that alone is a neutral thing; desires are neither good or bad. thought crime isn't real. but if you want to enact this with real people, what's your move? are you planning to find people who want to be hurt sexy style (an abundant population, I assure you) and talking out the ways in which you could hurt them that would be pleasurable and fun for everyone involved? or are you going to hide in the bushes and assault people like a villain of the week on SVU?

only one of those is bad, in my book, because only one of those options involves victimizing another person and taking away their ability to consent to having sex with you.

so idk dude, I don't really believe many, if any, people are just fully irretrievably Bad. but a lot of people treat others badly. you can't really make that call based on sexual proclivities! there are people who use kink as an excuse to be shitheads the same as there are real assholes who only have married missionary sex with the lights off every other Wednesday. the only deciding factor is how you treat people.

and how you treat people is up to you!

[hellonerf]

this post is going to be my depository for the caname yandere notes i wrote a while ago and im finally posting. below this line is it. if you want you can just ignore the walls of text for this image of ame as miyuki from you and me and her or read through it for my yandere caname braindead details

straightforwardly, they'd be different in approach. dumb in their own ways 🤤 loosely using yandere here okay i know the meaning has changed a lot okay(snoreee)

for a yandere cana, in context to caname. a mumbling withdrawn yandere… just a general big fan of how it can come off as shyness. well i personally love a really messy sadled-by-internal-conflict kind of yandere… i think there’d be a weird type of shame there. always has the feeling that he’s afraid to be perceived. a weird overlap… with his ame-related frustrations “he won’t even look at me… (seethe)” and “ohhhmygod he CAN’T look at me (shaking)”. like he feels in the right but feels afraid simultaneously. and he knows so much about ame but ame doesn’t reciprocate such effort? unfair…(grits teeth).

he can confidently say he knows everything about ame, and then mumble about how ame barely knows anything about him. i want to him to rage internally about that that it bubbles up (>_>) entitlement and yandereness kind of go together anyways. she’s glaring at her with such intensity and she won’t even turn around to notice… can't she at least have this... she rarely gets anything for herself... at least this... i like any case of someone being yandere for ame where they take on a kind of caretaker role. he’s so stupid he can’t do anything he doesn’t know what’s good for him etc… (happy)(happy anytime ame loses control in some way)(ties him to cana like a balloon). loveee the idea of cana hitting him or something and then doting on him right afterwards like he didn’t cause it. HOW’d you get such an INJURY…… so irresponsible 🤦‍♂️

another thing is cana is more comfortable with femininity than ame. this is factual and ame i’d imagine to be tenser about it. i don’t know what this means guys. anyways i think his feelings build up into a climax more... turned into action! whatever it is he does to ame

a yandere ame is harder for me to put into words. because i okay. i like her a lot. i think he’d be so rage jealous upset internally, but also so much so that he can’t keep it in (i don’t think his control on how much of his emotions leak out is very good, i don’t think he has a good enough lid on it) so he’ll come off very spiteful, controlling, accusatory. she’s keeping track of where you go where she can’t see you. she doesn’t believe what she can’t see. ame’s high and fragile ego i think… deep down he can be insecure and paranoid. it’s frustrating for him to feel unsure at all. especially if it contradicts what he believes he heard. and it’s an insult that someones even making him feel so unsure. she’s like stomping her foot… wants her full attention at all times… she won’t and can’t let you get away with fooling around.

in a caname nationverse… i think there’d then already be a lot of interactions ame would consider “the ultimate betrayal” lol… similar in cana that he’d want reciprocation for the attention given, but i think he’d be 10x more blatant in the rage and entitlement. it'd cause more lashing out to the perceived betrayal i think. he's stuck between wanting affection and being so mad that he's not getting it already. demanding of cana's time loyalty and reciprocation... yandere that seethes that the one they love isn't as crazy about them lol... paired with all this… complexes about doing things “right”. communicating “right”. i think ame doesn’t really have a natural intuition in communication, relying on imitating social customs while not understanding them fully. so it'd be even more upsetting to him that he's "done it right" and he still doesn't get what he wants.

and also with that i think he’d be lacking in self awareness so hard… gets into antics… thennn i think he's more explosive in this, feels a white hot jealous rage and acts based on that, but its easy to forget outside of those moments.

in these descriptions i think cana's works prior to dating... if dating ever starts at all lol i think he thinks of it less like a romance endeavor and more like a... well he's already always right next to him! its been building up for forever... for ame's i think these only really get prominent with something "established". he already demands your time but if cana like specifically promised something, or he had some epiphany, that'd cause all these wants to be much more visible. i feel like he tends to need a catalyst for some feelings to come to the forefront

the switching pronouns is cause saying all this im imagining them yandere girl-like no matter what because i have personal feud with male yandere

[shaampoo]

OMG!?!??! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SONG (and AU), RIGHT NOW!!!

(By Lydia the bard

TINKERBELL VILLAIN SONG - Fall Little Wendy Bird Fall | Song by Lydia the Bard and Tony | Animatic

The title^)

First of all the cover art is AMAZING, Tink is SO pretty, the sparkle and lines on the wings, her grin, HER HAIR, HER EARS, HER DRESS,

Also, "Fall Little Wendy Bird Fall" is a great title

Now the video itself and its lyrics, i really REALLY want to just compliment every single frame of this video, its so beautiful, so well done, its like it was blessed by The Muses of greek mythology,

Okay so the lyrics at 0:45

"You dont seem to quite understand what is at stake,

This messed up little family that i had to make"

Not only is this line so beautiful with the way her voice sounds, its pretty much a nod to the fact Tink and her friends kidnapped peter pan and the lost kids to keep her and her friends alive

(0:55) \/

"If i could let them all go home please know that i would

But it'd do more harm than good"

Just Tink expressing her guilt that she and her friends kidnapped the lost boys so that they could keep existing, but like, JWHSEAJKHWED, she ofc doesn't want her or her friends to die, and since people are slowly not believing in fairies anymore, they're slowly going extinct, ALSO, Fawn and Silvermist are DEAD, so yeah, that messes with someones head

AAAALSOOOO, i LOVE their silhouettes, the height and weight differences instead of them all having the same height and weight like in the movies, plus, i LOVE that despite not looking like how they do in the movies, you can probably still tell who is who,

ALSO

Even if it wasnt intentional, i like how in kinda faraway shots, Tink has a more cuter roundish look, while in closer shots shes more edgy and more intimidating(? if that's the right word), kinda showing how others view her (kinda?) as a cute fairy, maybe underestimated, but yknow, close up, shes plotting to kill a child

(1:15)

I love how Tink is gesturing in this scene, cause 1. It conveys to the audience what she wants from the lost boys and 2. Canonically, when fairies talk, people usually just hear jingling of bells, so shes gesturing because shes also conveying what she wants to the lost boys

1:23

"Swear its nothing personal, its a necessary evil"

I just love this line because it is a necessary evil, she needs the lost boys and peter pan in neverland to believe in fairies so that they exist, and Wendy is pretty much a threat, since she makes the lost boys want to grow up with families,

Also, the lost boys look so cute in here, i cant remember their names tho, one is holding a slingshot, aiming at wendy, one is holding rocks , and one has a stick , so Tink just told these children to assassinate Wendy, or at least attack her.

1:35

I love how the kids explain that Tink make them do it, and Peter Pan just glares at Tink, and i love that I'm pretty sure that Peter isn't mad/doesnt blame the lost boys

As seen in this scene where Pete is smiling and stuff at the Lost Boys and/or at Wendy

1:55

I love how Tink refers to Wendy as a "Nasty little spark" because, a spark can turn into a fire, damaging a lot of stuff and people, pretty much saying that Wendy has to be snuffed out before she causes a fire,

"Setting fires inside my house is just not allowed"

Pretty much referring to the fact that Wendy, the spark, is creating a fire, aka, making the lost boys want to grow up and go back to the real world, making them not believe in fairies anymore, thus, making her and her friends die, which is, not allowed.

Also. the fear in Tink's eyes is so fear, her expression is on point, the mix of concern and fear is just, so beautiful, also i love her pointed ears

2:17

First of all, this screenshot does not do justice to the actual design of the mermaid (siren?), cause they are AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, GORGEUS.

Also, the fact that Tink is persuasive enough to convince someone to kill Wendy in such a short amount of time is impressive, and the fact that the mermaids agreed so quickly is also impressive,

When it failed, the absolute horror and shock on Tink's face? Shes horrified that another plan of hers failed, and shes scared that her friends might die, like, wow

The despair on her face is just so...asdjwoaijdoiwajd

3:38

The fact that Peter Pan (i cant even give him a nickname cause Pete sounds different and P.P. is just wrong and Pan is just A Thing), first at the gust of wind that blows away the pixie dust (which keeps the ship afloat) he covered his eyes, maybe cause the dust or his hair in his eyes, then he looks at Tink in anger and shock and probably some confusion, then looks at Wendy, in concern and fear,

Theory: Pan knows that, since Tink doesnt want the lost boys to leave, and he knows that gust of wind was from the fairies, and Tink's dislike and hatred to WEndy, that Wendy was probably the only one not going to be saved, which is why he only looks at her and tries to save her (that or he's a SIMPPPPPPP /j)

3:50

The fact that you can see Wendy screaming??? Chills,

And the black screen right after, signalling Wendy's death is just amazing

Anyways, overall, what im saying is

THIS SONG IS AMAZING GO CHECK IT OUT, GO CHECK OUT THIS PERSONS CHANNEL, THEY HAVE GOOD VILLAIN SONGS, THEY EVEN HAVE ENCANTO!!!!

[denwritesandcries]

YJS HCs – body types

Pairings: Yellowjackets x fem!reader

Summary: Okay so, I was thinking about body types so I could add details to my Shauna fic, really small things like skin marks and other stuff and that made me think about the other yjs too. I'm not used to writing headcanons, but here are a few that I couldn't get out of my head.

Word count: 1,9k.

Content: my personal headcanons, cursing, suggestive, fluff, insecurities, hurt/comfort, recent pop culture references so i guess modern!AU??

Note: This is so random and specific I don't think anyone will read it but I wanted to write it so badly.

English is not my first language.

shauna shipman

- I think Shauna is the most athletic of the girls, since in the first episode it’s said that she is the fastest on the team. Not necessarily thin; she is solid. Solid and warm. A warm wall seeking your touch all the time.

- She would always try to keep one hand on you and every time she touched you, her skin would be scalding hot, as if she barely needed gloves in the winter and only wore them because you told her to.

- Big spoon! She likes to wrap her arms around you and let her body wrap you completely when you cuddle or sleep together, her weight relaxing against you.

- Shauna is strong, like really strong and she knows it, her arms and legs are toned from training and she takes advantage of this to tease you at any opportunity, carrying things for you willingly (your backpack, shopping, whatever, she would be exactly like the *aggressively moves all groceries to one hand to hold yours* meme), rolling up the sleeves of her flannels ‘cause the muscles stand out, pressing you against walls/counters or simply carrying you during makeout sessions and nothing you do will take away the smug smile on her lips – well, barely nothing.

- She would also wear tank tops and shorts frequently just to make you nervous and receive compliments. It's ridiculous ‘cause she really thinks she's being subtle (she isn't).

“Shaunie, you sure you don’t want a jacket?”

“No, I’m good like that.” She's not, but she won't admit it.

“It’s raining.” You insist.

“The cold doesn't bother me anyway.” She shrugs, but leans back against you, placing her chin on your shoulder.

You snort, “Sure thing then, Elsa.”

- Shauna has a happy trail! Little baby hairs going up to her navel where she melts into a puddle when you caress her, goosebumps covering her skin in the same second.

van palmer

- I believe Van has rough hands from her goalie gloves! They're always warm even if the rest of her body isn't ‘cause of the constant movement – she expresses herself a lot with her hands too. She likes to run them down your sides just to see how your skin crawls, sometimes she does it out of nowhere just to scare you because she thinks it's funny.

- I think her skin is very sensitive, the kind that's full of moles and burns easily in the sun – you're constantly reminding her to put on sunscreen, but it's no use – she loves it when you trace patterns on her spots before bed or when you're bored somewhere.

- Her skin being so sensitive also means that hickeys and scratches are really hard to hide on her. She doesn't mind, in fact she seems to enjoy it a lot, you catch her a lot of times watching the marks spread across her shoulders and neck as they take days to disappear. That doesn't stop her from teasing you tho.

“It's been a week and there's still a purple mark on my neck. What are you, a damn vampire?” She mocks.

“Nah, you act like you wouldn't love me to be your Edward Cullen.”

She lifts her chin at you, “A leech then.”

"Van!"

- She has a belly and is very proud of it! She says it's the best for defending the goal and that it makes her fall to catch the ball less painful; She'll flex her muscles like a gym athlete when she's changing playfully just to seduce you (it works every time). She loves it when she lies in your arms after a bad day and you squish her tightly, it helps her calm down.

- She also has a happy trail, but she is too ticklish, like really ticklish. Many of your makeout sessions end up interrupted by her giggling when you drag your hands too softly under her shirt, she prefers firm touches.

- Van definitely has lots of small scars spread across her body from accidents over the years, that little weirdo (affectionate).

nat scatorccio

- Nat is as pale as a ghost, it would be impossible not to notice when you made her blush for any reason. She would try to distract you so you don't pay attention to it, but it wouldn't put off anything.

- The dark circles under her eyes are extremely pronounced, both due to her paleness and the heavy makeup she wears, so you always know when she's had a bad day or simply hasn't slept enough. She will complain incessantly about you making her stop and rest, but she will always do what you ask.

- I truly believe that she has lots and lots of moles all over her body, especially on her back.

- Some are bigger than others, large spots on the skin and she pretends that her heart doesn't warm with the fascination you have for them, but the prominent red face says everything you need to know.

“They look like small constellations, Nat," you sigh dreamily, hands soft on her naked skin, “Man, I wish I knew a single shit about stars so I could name them.”

“I’m shirtless in front of you and that’s what you’re thinking about?”

- I think she would have a lot of acne, especially on her face from sleeping and forgetting to take off her cheap makeup often, you would have to do a skin care routine together for her to really start taking care of it.

- She definitely has a tattoo scar that she got from one of those shady professionals before she was eighteen and didn't take care of it properly. You almost freaked out when she showed it to you out of fear that it would get infected. In the end she ended up with a weird drawing and a skin failure, but for Nat it was totally worth it, she says it makes her look like a badass (it's definitely not just because you kiss the mark every time you see it).

lottie matthews

- Alright then, let me tell you, this girl is FREEZING from head to toe. No matter how well she dresses up, her whole body will remain strangely cold, which worries you at a certain point, so what better way to keep her warm than to have her glued to you like a koala all day?

- She would place her cold hands on your neck just to bother you and then smile innocently when you took them in yours to rub them and blow warm air on them. That smartass.

- Lottie is tall (at least a lot taller than me) and I think she would have a lot of growth marks, you don't grow like that as a teenager without some.

- Light streaks on the back, hips, legs and thighs that would vary in tone over time. I think she would have the habit of hiding them so that people wouldn't comment, wearing long stockings with her skirts at school parties.

- She would be so flustreaded if you showed that you liked them by running your hands up her inner thighs, scratching her back gently to feel the smooth texture of the taut skin. It makes her feel so loved.

- She has sun spots on her face, around her eyes and cheeks. You think it's so beautiful that you could admire it for hours, anywhere, but you usually do it in bed in the morning.

“Are you watching me sleep, dear?” Lottie mumbles as she wakes to find you giving her a love gauze.

“Hm-hm,” you deny quietly, “‘Not watching you sleep. I’m watching you.”

“Oh.”

jackie taylor

- Now, Jackie would have stretch marks and be completely insecure about them. The girl needs constant validation about everything that concerns her and you better give it to her, she just wants to feel loved.

- Marks on her hips and chest that most of the time wouldn't even be visible, but she would still remember they were there. You run your hands down her sides as gently as possible and she will have tears in her eyes as you snuggle, heart warm.

- Your support helps her feel more comfortable with her own body over time, but she still wants compliments every day and will give you hints ‘til you comply with her requests.

- Jackie has freckles! This is actually one of the things she likes most about her face, the trail of dots around her nose and eyes. She’ll melt into a puddle on the floor if you start to kiss them one by one, but will lose patience if you decide to count them and stop the act of leaving wet kisses on them. She's not very good at waiting.

“Babe!” She whimpers.

“Just a second, sweetie, I’m almost finishing.” You continue, a look of pure concentration on your face, muttering “35, 36, 37…”

“No.” She says, hand grabbing the collar of your t-shirt and pulling you against her, “Come back now.”

- Jackie isn't necessarily icy, but she gets cold very easily and isn't shy about asking for your coat or jacket when you're together. Your girlfriend is a princess, better treat her like one. She'll squeeze her body against yours in bed and steal the blankets to stay warm.

- She has spots on her arms! Hundreds of light spots on the outside of the wrists to the shoulders, it's almost imperceptible, but so cute. Make sure to always let her know how beautiful she is.

misty quigley

- I think Misty has acne scars on her shoulders and cheeks, little red dots spreaded. She don't mind it most of time, but can be very insecure about it.

- She would be really suspicious if you just showered her with compliments out of nowhere just ‘cause you think she’s upset, so acting is better. Actions speak more to her.

- Place soft kisses on her shoulders, gently bite her cheek so she rolls her eyes in that nervous way she does. Make her feel beautiful as she is – because she is.

- She would be so pleased with you spoiling her that she would pretend to be sad about it a lot of times just to get your attention, she is an evil little genius. It’s captivating.

- She has freckles too! Little dots on her face so lightly that you only see them when she takes off her glasses, but they are there.

“I kiss you everyday, how did I never notice your freckles before?”

“Oh, I don't know.” She shrugs innocently, “Maybe you should take a closer look, baby.”

- She thinks she's so smooth but in reality she's a mess, the girl can't pick up social cues to save her life.

tai turner

- Okay so, Tai is the type who takes the football really seriously and works hard to win and to do that she would try to stay in shape as much as possible. I can easily imagine her doing extra training sessions and her friends teasing her about it, ‘cause Tai, it's a high school team.

- Because of this, I think she would have stretch marks on her back and calves, light fine lines that stand out against her dark skin. These are marks of her effort, so she shows them with great pride.

- She gets very smug and her skin crawls when you run your nails over the marks on her back.

- Tai is strong, strong enough to break someones leg on the field (sorry not sorry allie) and will show off for it whenever she gets the chance. She likes to wrap her arms around you from behind and lift you off the ground when she's passing by.

- She has sun spots on her face and arms! You think it's so cute, but if you say something silly and cheesy about it she'll roll her eyes and tell you to stop embarrassing her.

You sigh, “You are so, so pretty, Tai.”

“And you are so, so lame.” She echos, “...Come here, let me kiss you.”

- Happy wife, happy life. Always make her feel appreciated, she deserves it.

[mooneggtarts]

Okay what I think about Alastor's mother and both her and Alastor's dynamic that affect him in general (PERSONAL HC)

Now, Alastor's mother; I don't think she's a shit mom, but I also don't think she's a "perfect angel" mom either. She's a mother with a lot of flaws of her own, either from her husband, the society's view in people of color, the year era they live in, or other things.

My thought is that she probably killed her husband when Al was in an age where he doesn't even remember his father's face, but remembers clearly of what his mother did to his dad. And she definitely tries to tell him that what she did was wrong and should not be put as an example.

("Why did you do it if it's wrong then?" "I... because I..have..to... your father isn't a good person sweetheart" kinda thing)

His father *could* actually be bad, which drove his mom to the point of murder, remember the *red* on his mother's hands and on the body laying motionless behind her. (For a moment, Al thinks that red might be his fav color)

Because again, where does Al's sudden murderous tendency come from? I kinda suddenly thought how "your parents are your first teachers" and stuck with that. There COULD be a possibility that she does it to protect him, amongst other things. But it has been stuck in my head for a while.

Having only interact and living his childhood mostly with his mother made him a gentleman and easily/perferably befriended the ladies.

Now about his bitterness towards men, well, I don't think he's *that* bitter with them, considering we knew that he and Vox *used* to hangout before things went south, not to mention his respect towards Zestial. I don't think he knows how to even get along *well* or be comfortable with most males considering, again, his mother being the only figure in his life thing, And well, most of the male cast seem to not really like him, or like him *too* much, or generally doesn't make a good first impression. 

Though I don't think it stems mainly on how his mother killed his father in either defense or resentment of how awful his father had treated her. But I suppose it does involve in some way.

Anyways, I don't think Al's mom really pay any attention to Al's struggle and mostly perhaps told him to just "suck it up" kinda deal during his childhood (Im projecting so hard in this). Cause I think, with him being a mixed, in the 19's on south? Definitely would experience some bullying or being pushed away by another group, kids nonetheless.

Even when Al got home with scars and bruises, his mom would just told him not to fight back, to just take it, cause if he fought back then he'll only make the situation worse, and told him to just endure it and wait, that one day things will get more bearable and perhaps something would change into his favor. Not wanting her son to turn violent like his father, and taint his hands red like her's. Not wanting him to change.

(I have a feeling that the more he grown, the more he feel how.. wrong it is? A slight feel of uneasiness. The feeling of captivation, The way he felt he was held back whenever his mother lovingly embrace him (as if not willing to see him change or grow, afraid of the unknown to who will he became, not ready to lose him if he did, cause she had lost the man she once thought would love her))

I also believe she has that mindset where "big boys don't cry" or "boys are suppose to be strong", which could largely explain Al to have a hard time in expressing his emotions and bottling or repressing them seem like the easier way (which, ofc, led to him unmanaged to properly expressing his emotions- and would be quiet defensive with it). And explained as to why he roughs up the male casts more than the females cause by his view, again, guys could handle a bit of a rough-housing better.

And so for years he had kept his mother's advice, enduring and just let them do whatever they want with him, bearing the loneliness, bottling up his frustration and sadness, forcing himself to keep on standing tall upfront.

But things changed after his mother's death. Things are more confusing for him.

Cause he can recall the pain- he *felt* the grief, the moment when he saw her finally kicked the bucket, but suddenly it's different when it was her funeral.

For some reason he felt numb- detached, for lack of better word. Which I suppose what bothers and confuses him. For how quick he got over her- DID he got over her? He's not sure, he deeply cared and respect her for taking great care of him for years, but he isn't *suppose* to move on so quick yes?

I think that's a whole worth of spiralling breakdown of questioning himself that will never gain an answer of.

Then the house are too empty and too big for him, the first time living without the presence of his mother. Somehow, it felt both uncomfortable and... relief?

Guilt settles in afterward. Somehow everything seems a lot more suffocating than how things are when she's still with him. Like hoping that her lingering shadow of a presence would accompany him, but he doesn't want it to be near him.

I think he'd shut down those kinds of thoughts, cause it disturbs his daily living, and do what he was best at. Repressing everything, ignore them. And just go on with his life pretending to be unbothered.

It bothers him because, he believes he cares for his mother. Loved her even. But there is a part at the back of his mind where he felt... free. Like nothing was holding him back anymore. And thats what bothers him. And I guess at some point, he feels like an ungrateful kid. Cause his mother has done nothing but the best for him, the only person that ever cared about him too. And here he is, feeling a bit of the weight on his shoulder shifted after her passing??? What is wrong with him? 

I feel like he's in denial how the way his mother been teaching him had been wrong, and would DEFINITELY be VERY MUCH REALLY defensive when someone call her out on how wrong she is. Cause she can't be wrong, he doesn't (want to) believe that she's wrong.

I feel like the moment he make his first kill in his human life, and I believe, that his first kill could be either someone that bullied him or some guy that harrassed someone else (my thought went to mimzy for a moment but it makes good sense for that could be how they first met)

And when he painted his hands red, a short flash of image of his mother's first murder as well, and it dawned on him. He had waited all this time, that fate will turn it's favor on him. For years he held back, in the end, the only way for things to turn, is if he *himself* change.

Feeling a strong surge of power like never before. Looking at the harrasser's fear induced face. It felt *good*. To be the *predator* instead. How the tables have turned.

Emotions running through his veins along with adreline, there was guilt that he had disobeyed his mother, there was hatred (which feeds his guilt) how much his mother has held him back from this, there was an overpowering sense of addictive of how much control and power he has in the situation for the first time.

And he finds himself unable to let go of the feeling. Wanting *more*.

I think at this point, he is willing to let go of the love that held him back, he loves his mother dearly, but he is unable to stop breaking every promises and lessons his mother taught him. By then, he hopes, that his mother would forget about him in wherever her soul went. He doesn't seem to mind if his mother doesn't love him anymore, he finds it better that way, she shouldn't be burdened by him cause there is no way he will stop.

He doesn't care if that made him unloved (Love is what holding him back in the first place, held him captive, making him doubt, making him hesitant, pressuring him), or that it made him into a monster. Because for once, despite him drowning too deep into the trench surrounded by his piling up hatred and rage against everyone that wrong him, he can breath.

He felt free.

[strangersteddierthings]

Steve, Gareth and Chrissy are cousins AU (sad edition) [prologue] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Final Part]

The saving grace for Steve here is that all eyes are on Eddie, so no one witnesses how he freezes, just for a moment, when Eddie tells them who the 'she' is he's been referring to. How he just wanted to help her. Help Chrissy. Whatever Eddie has been saying has turned to buzzing, to white noise, to nonsense in the background of his mind.

He has to be wrong. Mistaking some other girl for Chrissy. Because it can't be Chrissy. It can't. Steve has worked so hard to keep his family away from the Upside Down shit. She couldn't be- there's no way she somehow got caught up in it. There's too many questions and not enough answers and when did the air get too thick to fit in his lungs?

Does Gareth know?

Gareth, who Steve knows is one of Eddie's friends and here Eddie sits before him, a witness to Upside Down shit. A witness to a murder they have no clue how to solve. Gareth, who isn't exactly friends with Mike, Dustin, and Lucas, but who is in the same club as them and on friendly terms. That's too many people connected to the Upside Down in Gareth's personal circle for Steve to be okay with.

He thought this was done. That they wouldn't ever have to deal with this shit again.

Eddie is still talking as the pounding in Steve's ears fades and he listens as Eddie swears, he just wanted to help, that she seemed so freaked out by something, and Steve's insides twist and churn. Why hadn't Chrissy come to him? Just last week he was at her house, hanging out and catching up. She never mentioned an issue. A problem. Something that would cause her to seek out heavier drugs than weed.

They used to tell each other everything. What changed?

His stomach drops as the answer comes to him.

He did.

He'd changed. He started keeping secrets first. Pushed Chrissy and Gareth away after that first incident and hadn't really started to let them back in until after Starcourt. He'd just wanted to keep them safe. Keep them as far away from this horror as possible. He'd ended the weekend sleepovers because of his nightmares, stopped inviting them over to hang out by the pool because he can't look at it without thinking about Barb, started avoiding them at school when he'd ended up beat to shit by Billy because he knew they'd dig for more answers than he could give.

No wonder Chrissy didn't tell him anything was wrong.

There's no way for Steve to know if he could have helped or not, even if Chrissy had talked to him. Eddie doesn't have answers; just a story.

Steve hates him a little bit. It's irrational. Eddie didn't do this Chrissy, (even if he had been arguing that point at Family Video) but it doesn't stop the anger inside him from boiling up. He doesn't act on it, of course he doesn't, he's not that person anymore.

Plus, acting on it would kind of negate everything Dustin just convinced Eddie of, such as he's not crazy and they do believe him, and Steve's not about to undo what Dustin's accomplished by taking Eddie by the vest and shoving him against the wall in a reverse of earlier. It wouldn't do any good, not now that they're all sure it's a new, unknown threat from the Upside Down that they'll have to figure out on their own.

No. Taking his anger out on Eddie won't solve anything.

He can be mad about this later.

It does sit heavy on him, though, that he doesn't think anyone in this boathouse knows Chrissy was his cousin. That the Upside Down has taken someone from Steve this time. He can't tell them. Robin wouldn't take it well, and Dustin might not either. They'll be sad for him, and he can't handle that right now.

He can mourn later.

-

Remember the fun lil fic of Gareth not wanting his cousins, Chrissy Cunningham and Steve Harrington, to ruin his street cred in high school? Well, the fun is done. Have some angst. More parts will follow but it's not really a fic? Just... disjointed scenes, rewritten from canon to fit the cousin AU.

[keepingeahalive]

Why Rapple Wouldn’t Work as a Couple

First off, let’s get this out of the way: Raven and Apple are not related. Well…more like distantly related, but to the point where any relation is almost nil. Raven is not destined to marry Apple’s father because Apple’s dad and Raven’s dad (The Good King) are two separate characters. Raven is only destined to be jealous of Apple and poison her. That is all.

Okay, on with the real debate.

I'm probably gonna get a lot of hate for this, but I can't see Apple and Raven as a couple. While both of their arcs were about coming to accept each other, they weren't equal in their relationship. Raven made it clear to Apple many times that she felt disrespected, and Apple ignored that and pushed her own agenda on her. It may have come from a place of caring, but Apple didn't get Raven at all. I can see them working through their issues down the line, but their love story (if you can call it that) is better as platonic.

Bulldozing and Passive Aggression

From the first episode, we can see that Apple immediately took control for both of them. She went behind Raven's back to room with her and decorated Raven's side of the room without her permission, all because Raven is an important part of "her" story.

Not their story. "Her" story.

Her friendship with Raven in the first three chapters was surface-level at best. She assumes what Raven wants instead of actually getting to know her, like when she decides to take "Home Evil-nomics" to get back at Raven for taking Princessology. But Raven's favorite class isn't Home Evil-nomics. It's Muse-ic.

We can see Raven trying to be patient with Apple because Raven is a good person. She doesn't want a repeat of what happened between Snow White and the Evil Queen. In fact, we see her other friends hide their concerns from Apple because they don't want to upset her.

When Ashlynn finally comes out about her relationship with Hunter, she's immediately met with Apple's dismay. Apple tells her several times that she's making the wrong decision, and it gets to Ashlynn so much that she chooses her friendship with Apple over her relationship with Hunter because she doesn't want everyone to be upset. Although Ashlynn decides to do what makes her happy, Apple still tells her outright that she's making the wrong choice.

Briar starts to feel the weight of her destiny sink in and, instead of being met with compassion and understanding, Apple tells Briar "we all have our part to play." While Briar rightfully calls her out for how privileged she is, it takes her three chapters and two more specials to admit to Apple that she was too scared to tell anyone that she didn't want to follow her destiny.

They both go behind Raven's back to poison a birthday cake she made for Apple just so she would stop crying about it.

Apple is the next Queen of Ever After, and she wants to take an active role in serving her people. But she thinks she knows what's best for everyone. If they don't do what she says, then there's something wrong and she has to fix them. Everyone enabled this behavior, except for Raven. This domination is what causes her and Raven's tension at the start of the series.

2. Apple's Fears

Apple is a selfish character. But that selfishness is born of fear.

She believes going against her destiny means dying and being forgotten.

I believe she does care about her friends, in the same vein a God-fearing church-goer cares about the people in her community. She believes there is only one true way of staying safe: following your destiny. If you don't, something bad happens. And she has to remind you of that. She thinks she's helping people when she's really being insensitive and condescending. And this comes down the hardest on Raven.

Raven is the equivalent of someone who's become disillusioned with their faith. She's unhappy with the system she's been put in and she wants something better. That doesn't mean she's not afraid of what might happen if she does. She's terrified she might doom everyone at first. But taking a risk on Legacy Day and showing everyone they can live without following a predetermined path made her and others more hopeful that they could live better lives.

But Apple can't be convinced with one act of rebellion. She doubles down on her beliefs and blames Raven for ruining her Happily Ever After. She's so afraid of her future being uncertain that she would rather follow a status quo where someone she claims to care for is locked away for the rest of her life. You could argue that she doesn't understand that's what would happen, but she never bothered to understand Raven's perspective. Raven takes Apple's perspective in Thronecoming and considers the consequences of her actions. Raven cares about her friends too, so much that she's willing to put her happiness aside to keep them safe. Apple never once did that for her, or for any of her other friends.

This stems from Apple being promised the best destiny out of anyone. She'd go on to live a very prestigious life as Queen. But she's too naive to realize what that would mean for everyone else: Raven would be locked up for the rest of her life, Ashlynn would die to continue her legacy, and Briar would marry some random dude several decades younger than her and never see Apple or anyone she knew ever again. I understand that no one wants to lose the stability they've had their entire life. But she doesn't seem to understand how good she has it.

3. Apple and Raven's Growth

Way Too Wonderland and Dragon Games gave us a lot in terms of character development. Apple and Raven have gotten to know each other better at this point. Even though they have their differences, they do care about each other.

Say what you will about Way Too Wonderland, but I do believe Apple has come to know Raven and is genuinely shocked and heartbroken when Raven finally signed the Storybook of Legends. She's come to care about who Raven really is, she knows Raven would never want to hurt anyone, and she realizes that destinies can be dangerous. I understand her main reasoning was that anyone could easily take someone else's destiny if they had the chance. But seeing what signing the book did to Raven frightened her. Destroying the book with Raven cemented a level of trust and understanding that Raven was longing for.

Which is what makes Dragon Games so heartbreaking.

Apple is a privileged little princess who was promised the best destiny one could expect. I don't think anyone would be all that happy about letting that go. It goes back to what she fears the most. She doesn't know what to do without her destiny. And with her mother only feeding into these insecurities, it allows Apple's doubts to resurface and for someone to take advantage of that.

Apple could have prevented releasing the Evil Queen. But she was too deep in her own cowardice to think clearly. Desperation will make people do anything, especially if promised a happy ending for you and everyone you love (maybe subconsciously hoping Raven would be her True Love). That doesn't excuse her freeing a war criminal who happens to be her best friend's estranged mother, thereby breaking her trust all over again. Raven had just started seeing Apple as someone she could depend on. That's gone now, and Raven had a right to be angry with Apple's selfishness and cowardice.

"But Apple realized her mistake and Raven forgave her in the end!" That's true, but that doesn't mean things are okay between them. Apple is still Raven's friend, and it's in Raven's character to forgive her. But I don't see her forgetting this experience any time soon. That trust would have to be built up all over again and, if you ask me, this ruled out any chance of them getting together romantically. I think Raven would need some time away from Apple to figure things out. Apple could use that time to figure herself out too, especially after figuring out it was Darling who woke her.

If that trust was able to be built back up again, hopefully they would have grown as people and learned to be better friends. But you can't expect this level of trust to be regained for a partnership.

4. A One-Sided Romance

If Rapple were to be anything romantic, it would only come from Apple.

Apple was always obsessed with Raven. I do believe she wanted Raven to fulfill their destinies so they would both be safe, but was too selfish to consider how that would look from Raven's end. She never showed any interest in Daring and, while she enjoyed the admiration she got from other boys, never expressed interest in anyone else.

Except Raven.

So, yes. I do believe Apple was in love with Raven. But I can't see Raven returning those feelings. Apple always disregarded what she wanted, ignored her when she argued against her destiny, and continually tried to turn Raven into something she wasn't. Even after her much-needed character development in Way to Wonderland and Dragon Games, these two still don't have a good foundation of trust between them. If we had gotten more of the show, we might have seen some healing. And, in my opinion, that would include Apple learning to let go of Raven and focusing on her own growth as a person.

And maybe someone else...

In all seriousness, Apple and Raven have a complicated relationship that I don't see working romantically. I know they have the most development together, and it would be an interesting take on the enemies-to-lover trope. But with how often Apple betrayed Raven's trust and how grounded and self-aware Raven is, I can't see them getting together.

I can see Raven being Apple's first crush, but the closest these two can get is sisters.

Because, you know, Raven has a boyfriend. It's Dexter. Say what you want about him, but they have a healthier relationship than Raven and Apple could ever have, romantic or not.

[heartofsol]

Elise & the Duke

Elise's relationship with her father isn't discussed very much. I think it's actually one of the most interesting aspects about 06.

In a flashback, he's shown telling a young Elise "Don't cry" and "Become a strong queen who doesn't cry no matter what happens" in response to her grieving over her mother's death, which is...not great. A child should be allowed to grieve over their deceased parent. Although the Duke means well and says this because he genuinely believes strong leaders never cry (which is far from the truth), that doesn't make what he's doing okay. It doesn't matter that he's saying it in a soft and gentle tone, either. To a child, it's likely gonna seem like a dismissal of their feelings (which it is). This also shows that he was telling Elise to never cry before he used her as a vessel to seal Iblis.

Another thing I find interesting is that Elise says "I understand everything my parents said to me now." It could imply that Elise's mother held the same sentiment as the Duke, but we don't know for sure.

Now, onto the Solaris Project. Some time before the project began, the Duke told Elise that Solaris' power would allow them to travel through time and rectify past mistakes. The main reason the Duke began the project was so Elise could see her late mother again. Once again, good intentions, but the Duke experimenting with supernatural forces beyond his understanding cost him his life and hurt many people, perhaps his daughter most of all.

So long story short, the project goes wrong and the Duke is fatally wounded in an explosion but shortly before his death, he sealed the Flames of Disaster in Elise and pretty much left her clean up his mess. She was cursed to never shed a single tear, had to rule an entire kingdom at a young age, is relentlessly pursued and kidnapped by a madman who wants to harness her power, and when she makes a single friend, he gets murdered right before her eyes by the creature that her father experimented on all those years ago. Elise is suffering the consequences for her father's actions.

And how does Elise feel about her father after all this? She still loves him deeply. She doesn't express any anger towards him or angst about the way he treated her, or that he inadvertently caused her suffering, even though she has every right to do so. You get the sense that she doesn't even realize her father's "love" was actually quite abusive, which is just really tragic. She's been conditioned to accept this as her role in life and you can see it in her behavior. At the start of the game, Elise lacks confidence, is unsure of what she can do in her situation, and even blames herself for the things that are happening. Her attitude gradually changes when she meets Sonic, who encourages her to be more proactive and truly enjoy life instead of being restricted by her role as a princess.

Yet people get on Elise's case for breaking down once at the tail end of the game over the fact that she'd lose the memories of her only friend and would be separated from him?

Elise doesn't mean what she said in this moment, and blows out Solaris' flame to save the world seconds later. She had to bottle up her emotions for a decade and now has to say goodbye to the person whom she grew to love over the course of their adventure. Her reaction here is more than justified.

Elise is such a good character 🤍

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

hi✨adore your thoughts and headcanons to the moon and back with how detailed and in character they are. dark!percy has always been incredibly alluring and fascinating, so I was wondering about your presentation/analysis of him. if you're comfortable (if not, it's totally okay and just ignore it!), could you write percy and child of any "dark" like hades, or hecate, nyx (or whoever) god, who understands how scary and tough it can be when you and your powers are so destructive, and they help him to kinda adjust to this side of him and understand that he isn't a bad person for that (cause this guy already has a lot of self hatred). maybe kinda chaotic dumbass enemies to lovers? sfw or nswf - whatever works for you. sorry for this ramble! just so many thoughts about him...

hope you have a good time of a day🤟

DARK!Percy headcanons

authors note: Can I just say, I've been WAITING for a question like this. More Dark Percy headcanons everyone!! plss!!

warnings: mentions of abuse & neglect, suicidal and intrusive thoughts, impulsive thoughts, mentions of eating disorder, chaotic family life, Gabe Ugliano...

okay, this is a mixture of headcanons of his CHILDHOOD but also an ANALYSIS of DARK PERCY.

cigarette burns from Gabe. Not just because Gabe did it, some of Gabes older friends (a long time ago, before the lightning theaf book) told Percy to come closer and burnt it into his forearm. Gabes eyes turned into shock but then he poked a tongue in his cheek and scoffed in laughter, giving Percy a judgemental look - *its a classic look, the type of look you give someone when you're looking down on them.

Percy would be so angry at Gabe, sometimes he would snap and tell him to shut up because Gabe would watch TV late in the night and fall asleep with the TV on until morning. At some point, Percy opened the door and screamed on the top of his lungs to shut the fuck up, slamming the door, sleep deprived and exhausted, locking the bedroom door bc he was scared Gabe would do something - and sobbed loudly. He was just a kid, but he already learnt how to fight. Sally tried to give reassurance but Percy wouldnt open the door. The incident was deemed "nightmares" on Percy's part, and Sally let him sleep in her bed.

Sally and Gabe never shared a bed. Gabe snores, sometimes even has nightmares, other time she would bother Sally about a new babyboy they could have, as if Percy wasn't good enough to be his son.

One time Sally asked Percy if he ever wanted siblings. the truth is, yes, but with Gabe Ugliano? no way. fuck no. He said no in a really moody and almost bitchy way, and walked out of the house and went to school.

Percy had the habit of keeping his shoulders scrunched up when he slept. He still does, but he doesn't understand why his body tenses up when he sleeps - Gabe isn't there anymore.

He also had the habit of lowering his head, shoulders and hunching when he walked - but once he met Annabeth over the summer he kept his back more straight - and never hanged his head when he walked. He noticed and felt more relief.

When people asked what he was doing for the summer, weight was lifted off his shoulders when he said SUMMER CAMP - finally he had something to do during summer! Every kid in school went somewhere nice, now even Percy does. He felt like he could finally share a bit of the same intrests as everyone else. He could actually tell people about his summer.

You know when the teacher forces everyone to tell a little bit about their summer - now finally percy could say confidendtly he did somethign fun instead of making something up.

struggles with anger, but understand it got so bad he broke his own first laptop 3.5months of having it - he broke the screen in half with his bare hands. He regretted it so much and hid it but his Sally found out.

Regrettfully, this made Percy believe he would always ruin/sabotage things for himself, and that he doesn't deserve nice things. Letting his mother buy his clothes, never aksing for new clothes... whats the point?

Besides, Gabe was stingy with his money. Gabe even refused to buy shampoo which is stupid cause its cheap asf - but Gabe wanted the feeling of control.

the dynamic of the family and house changed. The living room was Gabes, not Sally and Percy's spot. Gabe even took Percy's side of the couch and his spot at the dining table. Percy stubbornly refused to move, but Gabe is scary and big for his size so he did it to be civil for his mother. He felt like he lost something that day.

When Gabe was out late, Percy would lock the door and put the chain on. Gabe would unlock the door and try to get inside, but the chain stopped him. Gabed huffed in frustration and Sally had to get up and open the door - which burned Percys heart because he realized that nothing could keep Gabe out.

Percy would generally be a very bitter person to be around, people would shy away from him and sometimes stop talking when he tried to join in.

self image, self-confidence and self respect was low. But actually scratch that, his self respect was high. he put boundaries down pretty fast with other people because he knew everything that gabe did was no, and everything that sally did was yes. but at some point he disliked Sallys touch just slightly bit, because he knew Gabe had held her hand earlier.

he would talk to sally for hours on the couch, but as soon as the door clicked opened he walked to his room and closed the door. He didnt want to be near gabe. but then gabe started to trash his room, and percy was basically forced to sit in the living room.

he felt like he was playing "family" or pretending everything was okay, as if Gabe wasn't neglectful, but he felt sick.

At some point Percy's anxiety and stress because to normalized within himself that he nowadays cant tell what anxiety even is - and he would sometimes even say hes never had anxiety, because its basically been with him from such a young age, he cant tell the difference.

pretending to be "family" was even worse walking around the mall with sally and gabe. gabe was just this big giant slob of goo that would follow everywhere, and gabe would even huff and puff shamelessly if they were taking too long. gabe even got angry if sally found something nice for herself, he was possesive.

started taking only an apple with him to lunch, 1. he thought he was fat. 2. gabe wouldnt buy anything he liked and they had to stick with the basics. 3.his lunch was embarrassing even though everyone ate cafeteria food.

he got so happy the first time he could bring something "normal" to eat or if he got money to buy lunch, his reason being that he could finally "blend in" insteading standing out as a "freak".

he has a burn mark on the backside of his ankle, near his achillies, burn himself bc of Gabe.

hates it if someone traces the cigarette scars on his arm, even hates it if Annabeth does it - he still struggles with his self image and probably wont like that part of himself until he grows old and gray.

one time he vented to someone about his childhood and they stopped talking to him. never spoke ever since, was afraid that someone would use it against him. hasn't even told his mom or sally half of the things Gabe said or did to him/behind his back.

one time gabe pissed on the clothes percy was wearing but blaimed it on percy. ofc his mother believed percy but it was still shameful for percy.

in second book of sea of monsters, a kid asked if percy let his mother buy his clothes - actually stopped letting his mother buy clothes for him after that.

he would naturally adopt people that were outcasts and be a friend - because people were rarely there for him when he needed it.

needs validation, but couldnt get it from school. his friends would praise him but he could barely accept those compliments because at the end of the day he was still a loser too.

his mother would be his studdy buddy, and tried to help percy with homework - but still found everything hard.

gabe got angry with percy would "dirtying everything" but Gabes the only reason why his mom has to clean daily.

Dark Percy would definitely develop from a young age, but it became a lot more present behind the scene of the books.

he desires comofort, safety and a space where he can be himself without having to walk on his toes around the place.

Honestly, NSFW

He suppresses his moans because he was used to being quiet when he was around Gabe.

He has jacked off quietly, watched any videos quietly, no sound and even with headphones get sscared that someone might hear.

One time he stayed up late bc of whatever reasons and his stepfather Gabe yelled "GO TO BED", the next morning Gabe complained about how loud Percy was when Percy was away at school (this was early middle school, school wasnt that far away). And his mother Sally defended him and said she believes that Percy goes to bed when he should/when she tells him to, this made Percy feel bad so he went to bed on time every since, or at least tried too. If he ever stayed up, he learn how to breathe quietly too.

The feeling of shame for touching yourself, feeling pleasure, and arousal was strongly in him from a certain age - Gabe's influence for even trying to be HAPPY or LAUGHING with his mother made him feel shame for any good feeling sexual or not.

[iluvaobesegaki4694]

FF7 Turks in a relationship

Don't ask me why I decided to write this, I was just feeling really lonely and was like what would my bots be like as a bf?

Rufus

at best I don't think he would be a good bf. why? I feel like before his father passing he more or less acted really entitled and manipulative, he probably has had a few pass relationships (his first one being the worst one and kind of making him the way he is) that messed up either because he was too pushy or just... no that's just it. I feel like though he has more negatives he definitely has a loving side, he would always buy you the most expensive gifts, and occasional dates; though you probably wont see him often since he's the boss of shinra.

Tseng

Tseng is a die heart lover boy!!! he loves spending time with you, though he doesn't show it outside. I believe he often keeps to the stern and well spoken personality, when outside but at home he's all over you, hugs are his favourite. He's mostly like this because he for the most part doesn't get time to spend with you due to always being on a mission or being at work. Though when he's around you he makes sure you have the most nutritious food, and get good exercise. When Tesng is home, I feel like he would make different types of teas for you depending on what you need, for example when you need help with your insomnia, he makes you camomile tea, and gives you a nice back massage.

Rude

he's supportive. makes sure to bring you up every day, trust me the only times you don't get a message from him in the morning, is when he's in a different time zone, and doesn't want to wake you up with his messages. At the beginning he was really hesitant to make any moves on you but grew more comfortable as time went on, I know for a fact that he loves to show you off and make sure to make you food when he is at home. For reference, he loves making spicy food, and anytime your ill, he asks Tseng for some advice on what teas you should drink to help make you feel better.

Reno

HE IS SO HAPPY! he loves you so much, be ready for many phone calls and him talking you none stop, about anything and everything, I feel like most of your calls would be silent, since he doesn't have much to talk about (since he just called you an hour ago) but he defo loves to have your presence around him. When he is home, he loves to give you deep hugs, and back massages, mostly cause of your perfume; must i add that he sprays your perfume on his jumper when he hasn't seen you for a while? When it comes to food, I don't think he likes to cook, hell when he was training to become a Turk he defo spent most of his time eating ramen noodles, and the leftovers of what rude makes. So he's so happy when you cook, or even when you two get take always, be ready for snuggles and a couple of love kisses since he loves to do movie nights at home.

Cissnei

She's a reader... why is this relevant? because you and her going on library dates, and book shopping galore. She loves to write you little poems about you or read out poems about her day, though for the most part she won't share them with anyone else; but you. in terms of work, she keeps relatively active and doesn't go on many extensions, so most of her time is spent at the office working, if she gets off early, she will meet you at your office with a cupcake, or cookie for you to eat. she likes hugs, but prefers to kiss and hold you, but the way she most shows her affection is by doing you hair, since she loves to take care of her own hair skin; so be ready for a lot of hair masks, and face masks.

OKAY BONUS

Elena

Personally, I feel as if Elena would be super shy, and closed off in a relationship, even though she is amazing I feel like she has a lot of stress due to being, mind you, ONLY 18! so i feel like homegirl defo needs her positive affirmation, when it comes to the relationship. She isn't much of a cooker, so when it comes house shores she would do the cleaning/washing meanwhile you would cook, or she would get a take away. She spends most of her time working, since she tries really hard to prover herself, and doesn't want to be overlooked due to her age and gender, so a lot of the time you would find her passed out on her laptop in YOUR hoodie. when on a mission she often tries to text you to make sure your up, and have an explanation on what she's doing as well as what your plans are for the rest of the day (bonus she has a cat that you look after when she is away). Finally, she doesn't often go on dates with you, but when she does she spends SOOOOO much money, why? because she wants to go to the fun fair, especially winter wonderland, which is her favourite! she loves the warm coco, the smell of cinnamon and most importantly looking into your eyes, if you two ever got married, she would definitely propose to you here.

BONUS: she listens to Airplane mode when she's thinking of you.

[copingwithobsessions]

Billy is autistic ♾

Just me rambling about an headcanon I take wayyyy too seriously :)

Hyperfixation : horror movies (obviously)

He just keeps talking about it. All the time.

Like

Also him using his hands while talking in this scene

(There's also something to be said about him mentioning the queer actors and not the 'straight' characters but that will be for another post-)

Also in the phone call where we're sure it's him :

(If he was the one calling Casey then there's even more-)

Also him just constantly talking with movie-related things : "It was edited for TV- all the good stuff was cut out", "nice solid R rating, on our way to a NC-17", "lately we're just sort of edited for television", "Maybe your movie-freaked mind lost it's reality button","It's all a movie, it's all...one great big movie.Only you can't pick your genre","I think she wants a motive","I don't really believe in motive, Sid.", "See it's a lot scarier when there's no motive Sid", "Is that motive enough for you ?", "How's that for a motive ?", "Just pretend it's all a scary movie Sid...How do you think it's gonna end ?", "Perfect ending.", "Now Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative !" and basing his killing spree on horror movie tropes : phone calls, masked killer, virgins being the final girls (literally having sex with Sidney to fulfill the trope), 'no motive' etc...

2. Abnormal posture

3. Staring (last 2 photos, both scenes in Sidney's room, police station scene...basically when there's Sid) or excessive blinking (doorway scene, kitchen scene...(basically when there's Stu)

4. Plans and changements

Billy (and Stu) planned their entire killing spree (from the dates it would be on : surrounding the one year anniversary of Maureen's death, to the person they would frame and his supposed motive as well as Casey and Steve's murders with the phone call, the attack at Sidney's house, Billy's incarceration, Stu's phone call following it, Billy's fake death, kidnapping Neil before his flight and using his phone, hiding his car, using a voice changer, stabbing each other to seem like victims, the party etc...)

When Billy's (and Stu's) plans get changed (Dewey, Gale and Kenny being present, Sid escaping the kitchen with her dad and Stu losing too much blood), Billy panics and goes into what could be defined as a meldown : throwing out insults, walking in circles, never going to check on the first floor, destroying Stu's living room and just panicking all around-

(When he fails getting Sidney to trust him and makes her escape to the toilets, he punches himself in frustation)

5. Insociability

Basically doesn't talk in the fountain scene

Awkward and Unsettling while talking, even to his friends

Doesn't pay attention to girls being interested in him

Doesn't seem at ease with the number of people leaving the party

(Even fidgeting though that may be just be him checking that the people are leaving for real)

6. Overdramatic

7. Favorite person/people

Okay this one's not that common in autistics but for Billy, he definitely has a special person, two in fact :

He literally started killing because his mom "moved out and abandoned" him.

For Stu, I will be vague cause I'll talk about it in detail in the other post 👀but basically he's not really himself unless Stu's there and planned a killing spree where only they would survive (+ trusted him to stab him).

Bonus : If Billy is the one who called Casey

"I only eat popcorn at the movies" Well I'm getting ready to watch a video "Really what ?" Oh, just some scary movie "You like scary movies ?" Huhuh "What's your favorite scary movie ?" Hum- I don't know... "You have to have a favorite, what comes to mind ?" Hum...Halloween ! You know the one with the guy in the white mask who walks around and stalks babysitters. "Yeah." What's yours ? "Guess." Hum- Nightmare on Elm Street ! "Isn't that the one where the guy had knives for fingers ?" Yeah, Freddy Krueger. "Freddy, that's right. I liked that movie.It was scary." Well the first one was but the rest sucked."

"It's an easy category : movie trivia"

"Come on, it's your favorite scary movie, remember ? He had a white mask, he stalked the babysitters"

"Then you should know Jason's mother, Mrs Vorhees, was the original killer ! Jason didn't show up until the sequel."

And that's it ! A complete analysis of what could be considered autistic traits from Billy that got way too long-

[venvellan]

da2's arishok is a good villain. if you have a fundamental understanding of the qun and listen to his thought process, the things he does makes sense. he uses the qun to justify slaughtering kirkwall's people, which is utterly inexcusable and what makes him a villain, but his character is complex enough to make dealing with him that much more thought provoking. he sends agents to kill petrice because she was killing his people, he doesn't give up the elves because they committed their lives to the qun, no matter how recently they converted, and he refuses to leave without the tome (and isabela) because his idea of justice hasn't been done. his logic makes sense, generally, though it is wrong on more than one occasion. he isn't moral, but he is methodical.

i feel this way about solas, too. i like da2's arishok for the same reasons that initially draw people to solas, i think. when we meet them, i find them interesting and educational to talk to, someone worthy of respect, and someone very honorable in their own way. similarly, many of my issues with solas compare with flaws in the qun/the arishok.

solas asserts that all of his beliefs are correct, and we're never allowed to challenge him on any of it. if he has high enough approval, he'll approach you to go, "yknow, i thought you were all [insert prejudice or stereotype] but YOU showed me that some of you guys are actually okay," which is NOT what it looks like for someone's beliefs to be challenged.

brief aside, i want to be fair in that we don't get this opportunity with many of the companions, and it's not even an inquisition specific issue. the dialogue format is agree, joke, be mean, and it's flawed, but it works in the majority of interactions. we don't really get to engage in nuanced discussions with characters, but there are positives and negatives to the system overall. it is possible to challenge and shape a character within this dialogue system (i.e., garrus vakarian) but in dragon age that really only comes in the form of harden/unharden. it was a little more doable with origins' system, but it really hasn't been a huge part of any dragon age game. most characters' beliefs remain largely unchanged by you regardless of how you play.

solas also possesses a strong sense of duty and purpose, though what duty he has, what his true goals are, he keeps hidden as long as he can. the most damning comparison though, to me, is how willing he is to destroy the world and bring back "his people," while the qunari fight to conquer the world and homogenize society into "their people."

in any case, with both him and the arishok, you can see the wheels turning in their heads. you can see why they do what they do, even if it's wholly immoral. it makes their threat a lot more personal, a lot scarier, psychologically, that a "normal" person, who doesn't want to cause suffering, can hold such specific beliefs and such strong conviction that knowing that they'll hurt people doesn't give them any pause. the root of their motivation is understandable. solas wants to right his wrongs, at his core. the arishok implicitly believes that the qun is safer, better for its people than life outside the qun. we can see that they're taking it too far, but they don't care. it makes them good villains.

"i am not corypheus, i take no joy in this." sure, which is a very similar sentiment, emotionally, to the qunari sense of duty. you can say you don't enjoy it all you want, you're still committing genocide. you can hate the qunari all you want, but you fight with their ferocity, their unshakeable faith in their own cause. their need to "do what's right," no matter who's caught in the wake.

i understand why people like solas, i go back and forth on it myself, but i don't think he's all that different from the arishok in method and motivation. they're each thrust into a world so different from what they believe is "right" that they demand it change around them. if we had to kill the old arishok, then if solas refuses to give up, he will have to die. he doesn't get to do genocide just because he's romanceable. he's a good character, he's a good villain, but he's not a good guy, and unless he stops before he does any real harm (which he will not do), he should share the arishok's fate.