#cause my roommate has lots of supplements

[swagging-back-to]

ok besties update on my roommate leaving pills around i have gotten rid of almost all her pills (put them in a large bottle) and got rid of most of their toxic chemicals (some like windex are bought regularly so i cant really get rid of them. i noticed they also have a pet friendly urine spray now instead of using windex and leaving the soaked tissues down on the doggy pad.) and i trained both dogs to avoid pills altogether.

i also told her when she was giving me her eork schedule "im worried about my dogs getting into stuff while im gone" cause she asked why i was offering the dogs pills and then i told her husband that theres always pills on the floor (cause hes in denial) and that im training them to only eat kibble or treats.

in a few days im gonna try walking around with her on a leash and pills on the floor to see if she will actually ignore them. ill only do it when im confident enough in her aversion.

and I'll try it with foods that might be poisonous, like cherries ,raisins, chocolate. i want to start doing the poison food aversion sooner than later.

then gonna try other things like chemicals, especially chemical soaked paper towels which my roommates leave down a lot. like, all the time.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he likes my body?

TW for ED but please hear me out:

My bf (30m) and I (28f) have been together for a little over 5 years. When we got together I had an extremely stressful and physically demanding job. Shortly after our relationship started I relapsed with an eating disorder that had been a problem since prepubescence; I started restricting heavily at age 11 and had struggled with it on/off since then.

After quitting that terrible job and regaining some agency in my life, I spent a couple of years really focused on recovery. Without giving specific numbers (cause triggering) I'll say that I was extremely underweight to an unhealthy level for at least a year and experienced severe health complications because of it. I nearly died from heart problems and had a big wakeup call that caused me to change my whole life. I've done the work of recovery without medical help (history of omission with doctors) but have had support from my bf, and am currently at the highest weight of my life.

at a recent checkup my Dr talked a lot about "healthy lifestyle" and mentioned my weight gain over the past couple of years. I'm still within the "normal" range for my height and build, but the after visit summary/chart notes denoted risk of becoming overweight. Idk if my Dr would have brought it up if my history of ED was in my chart, (and I did switch primary care practices a few years ago, so they weren't treating me at my thinnest) but it still shook me a bit and I will admit to feeling very triggered.

The job I moved to is quite sedentary compared to the previous terrible one - I wfh, and very rarely have to be on my feet or do strenuous activity. In addition, I have chronic pain issues that make exercise difficult, and so historically have just restricted to maintain/lose weight because it's easier for me physically to just be hungry than to work out. I didn't want to go down that road again though because of how intense and scary it got last time.

My bf is a personal trainer and specializes in working with low ability clients and people recovering from long illness/injury. When I told him that I wanted to start exercising more often and get a good cardio routine going, he was really excited and started immediately putting together an "action plan" (what he calls it w his clients idk) for me. Then he mentioned how I'd need to add on a bunch of meal supplements and snacks to avoid losing weight and I got upset.

We're a plant-based (vegan) household and live with a roommate (bf's friend) so mostly eat/cook communal dinners and have various breakfast & lunch plans on hand, so we already eat pretty healthy and make sure to have a good balance of macro/micro in the meal plan. My intent was to eat the same but increase my activity level to get out of the danger zone without restricting. I don't generally snack and rarely eat dessert, just the 3 squares.

I told my bf that I needed to lose weight and be more active according to my doctor, and that I wasn't comfortable with having protein supplements, smoothies, and snacks in addition to regular meals because that would defeat the purpose. He got really sad and said that he likes the way my body is now, and while he supports being more active, he doesn't want the size of me to change. His exact words at some point were "you look so good now, I love the amount of you that there is and I like the way you jiggle." It kind of made me feel sick and wonder if he has like a secret size fetish or something?

So I've been thinking of breaking things off with him and moving in with a friend or back in with my parents, but idk if this is actually a red flag or just the disorder talking? He did help me a lot with recovery but if he's going to keep me from being healthy or wants me to gain even more weight then maybe it's better to leave - would this be an asshole move? I honestly don't know.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Rates: All the break ups of Ramona and her Evil exes

Criteria:

1. It will have 3 ratings. How bad the break up is, How much fault is on the Ex, and How much fault is on Ramona.

2. It will be rated 0 out of 10. 0 being that it was not their fault, 10 being it was completely their fault.

3. This is going as objective as possible. I will be using the Original source (the comics) and any supplemental source that gives insight on the break up.

__________________________________________

1. Matthew Patel

Ratings: Break up: 3/10

The relationship always felt like a means to an end. Plus it was middle school and it barely counts

Matthew’s Fault: 3/10

From my understanding he was too immature and his Capriciousness (moody) , but it was Ramona that indeed ended the relationship and he didn’t take it well

Ramona’s Fault: 7/10

Ramona said up front the only reason she dated him was to get the jocks off her back and because he wasn’t a Jock and wasn’t white (her own words). Which really makes it a means to an end. She doesn’t make it sound like he didn’t know this. But Ramona could have handled it better.

___________________________________________

Lucas Lee

Break up: 10/10

Considering Lucas felt this was a big deal and he was cheated on, it’s clear that this was a hurtful break up. As For Ramona she hardly seemed to think much of the relationship. But still it is completely on their actions it ended

Lucas Fault: 1/10

Ramona did mention that there was a lot of Drama in their relationship. To the point that she wasn’t sure what class she met him (drama, or math). But even so Ramona ended up leaving him for her next Evil Ex which she cheated on him with. Now I can’t fault Lucas too much, because he doesn’t even hold much ill will towards her, he hates Todd more. At worse he was described as whiny.

Ramona’s Fault: 9/10

She cheated on him. Like that pretty much sums it up. She might have not really considered it much of a relationship, And I’m being understanding and trying to be as objective as possible. Ramona has completely created this Evil Ex,

________________________________________

Todd Ingram

Break up: 2/10

They ended up breaking up cause they were going to different colleges and it was mutual. They were the bad kids together but there was no real malice in the split

Ramona: 4/10

As mentioned above, it was a mutual break up cause they were going to different colleges. Ramona even pointed out that Todd was a bad guy known for fooling around. And she was mortified by the moon thing. So even though the break up was mutual, I feel like she still would break it off sooner or later.

Todd: 6/10

As mentioned above, it was a mutual break up cause they were going to different colleges. But Todd also had a girl back home he was waiting for him. And he was a prick.

___________________________________________

Roxie Richter

Break up: 8/10

Ramona's university roommate and the only ex-girlfriend. She alleges that their relationship was just a phase. But as expanded upon in Scott Pilgrim takes off, Roxie fell hard for her and the way they broke up was Ramona leaving without saying a word. So it was heartbreaking and sad.

Ramona’s Fault: 8/10

While not as bad as what she did to Lucas, I find what she did to Roxie on a similar level. Ramona never really gives a reason aside from it was a phase. Which Roxie is hurt by. I can’t entirely fault Ramona because if you realize you aren’t into another sex (or just not attracted To Roxie) you shouldn’t stay out of obligation. But that being said, she should have talked with Roxie about it.

Roxie’s Fault: 2/10

Roxie really isn’t at fault here, I guess the only thing one could argue is she could have pushed Ramona to get some answers and maybe be a bit more forthcoming with her feelings. But that is really all I can say. Though in the comic Roxie and Ramona have a more friendly relationship.

____________________________________________

Kyle & Ken Katayanagi

(Mostly they are in the background I’m sorry)

Break up: 10/10

Ramona blatantly cheated on them with eachother. Like yea according to her they were womanizers and sleazy, but it never made it sound like they were cheaters or anything worse. And the relationship ended when they found out about the cheating

Ramona’s Fault: 10/10

She intentionally did this. This is her fault which she admits. And quite frankly I feel bad for the twins, screwed over by screen time and Ramona. I will point out how intentionally f***ed this is

Kyle & Ken Katayanagi: 0/10

Maybe they were complete douchebags, but they got intentionally played by Ramona. It’s often skipped over but it’s probably the most justified why these guys are Evil Exes. At least they have eachother.

___________________________________________

Gideon Graves

Break up: 10/10

Gideon was an abusive asshole that experimented on Ramona and got angry when she left because she ended the relationship and his ego couldn’t understand why

Gideon’s Fault: 10/10

Gideon is an abusive asshole that thinks he’s God’s gift to humanity and can’t understand why people would ever want to leave him. He EXPERIMENTED on Ramona. Not experimented with like in a kinky way, but in a science lab rat kind of way. This doesn’t even include what he WAS planning to do with her later. Point is, this one’s on him.

Ramona’s Fault: 0/10

See above, she is 100% valid for leaving that abusive relationship.

[whoredmode]

some assorted notes from my AU. not too much but just enough where i feel like i should put it under a cut. mostly talking about the idols but a quick mention of los panteros too. these gangs make me so mad there’s so much potential but they just feel so held back😭 on the plus side that at least makes trying to rewrite them fairly interesting

to alleviate some of the weirdness of the whole “roommates but in rival gangs” thing between neenah and kevin, i want to frame the idols as more of an actual cult. they definitely operate as a gang, but they would not refer to themselves as such, nor would kevin. neenah definitely sees them as a gang though, so there’s another point of contention.

i get the point is that the idols don’t really know what their actual end goal is after they dismantle everything, but for the cult angle to actually work in a cohesive way, they need, well, an idol. some symbol of idolatry and some semblance of how they want their future to look. i think the idea of shilling something like a product (though obviously they deny that’s what it is and avoid the word “product”) is a decent starting point. there’s a specific line from a member early on where they talk about recruiting new members so THEY can move up a rank, which is just textbook pyramid scheme. and health/wellness cults are something that have definitely come to more prominence in the 2020s, so it’s not completely out of nowhere.

my thinking is this: have them do a sons of samedi where they’ve introduced a new drug on the street. it’s not touted as a drug but it totally is. maybe it’s said to be some cure-all supplement but it obviously has extremely addictive properties which is how it’s able to flourish. this causes friction with panteros who have had their own drug racket going on since the 80s. with that in mind, this is where the anarchy part of the idols comes through: they’re armed to the teeth. anyone trying to get in the way of their future and their cure-all is getting destroyed.

and since i mentioned them. real quick, on the topic of los panteros: sergio was the most nothing antagonist of the whole series. my god. i really went in thinking panteros would be my fave from srr. so i definitely wanna rework them. i would’ve delved into sergio and neenah’s dynamic a lot more. from the sound of it, panteros and sergio are the only type of family she has in santo ileso, and i think you could’ve done something with that. perhaps she’d opened up to him over time, telling him about her family situation and why she wants to fix up her car. and so sergio manipulates her, using those feelings against her for his own benefit. dangling the prospect of fixing up her mom’s car for/with her, knowing how much it meant to her, only for him to eventually destroy it as punishment for working against the gang. make it feel like it has a lot more meaning. something. anything.

[tvdsure]

Don’t jump to conclusions

pairing: eren jaeger x fem!reader, armin Arlert x fem!reader

genre: modern au, fluff and a bit of angst if you look hard enough

word count: 5.7k+

warnings: non

summary: eren has a tour so he’s leaving for three months, you’re absolutely broken but that feeling fades when armin comes over to stay at your place; however, eren isn’t too okay with that idea.

The wind advances through my hair, the jet black locks flowing loosely. It felt magical. However, nothing good ever lasts, they say, and they're right. Eren is leaving. He’s got a huge offer in England to work for this huge band, he's really exhilarated about it and couldn't pass it off, not to mention that it was only a global tour; nonetheless, i'll miss him drastically. 

He reminded me constantly that it’s only three months and that he'll be back in the blink of an eye. I know it won't be like that though, nothing will be like that. I’ve always done everything with him, even before we got together he, armin, mikasa, annie and I were always hanging out. Me and eren were always more than childhood friends though, we both knew that, he took me on our first date when we were 14. I remember  it just like it was yesterday, him anxiously fidgeting as if I would reject him. That date was the first of many.

“Baby,” he starts as he lifts his hand from my thigh and to my hand that was on the light pink bag. He gently caresses the back of my hand as he raises it to his lips and an immediate smile sneaks it’s way to my lips. He is such a sappy romantic but I swoon for it.

“I know you don't like the fact that I have to leave, I don't too, baby. But please promise that you won't lock yourself up in the apartment till I come back. I need you to be okay, i cant handle the fact of you being devastated in our apartment.” he smiles lightly against my skin as he keeps kissing up my arm. Till he reaches my shoulder then I scoot closer to him, pressing my lips against his.

He pulls away quickly after a few seconds to keep an eye on the road and I smirk seeing his distressed face. “Baby, we’re on the road!” he whines and I chortle once again as he does too.

For the rest of the ride I mostly sit there ‘vibing with the music subconsciously as Eren keeps a hand on the steering wheel and the other holding his cigarette. His arm extends to rest on the window as he occasionally bends his arm to bring the cigarette to his mouth then back onto the window. He’s always been thoughtful, caring about my health a little more than he should. He’s so protective, whenever he was smoking he wouldn't allow me in the room and he’d tell me to exit till he’s done, seeing as it is not an hourly thing or is something that repeatedly happens, I leave him.

The music carried me as I started falling asleep. I rested my head against the window and both my hands were left against my bag. He then, quite gently, takes one of my hands to attach his lips to it once again. I swear, he makes my knees weak with every move and I’m not even standing.

“I love you so much y/n, please I’m begging you to take care of yourself, I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.” He tranquilly whispers while taking my hand to his lips one more time then letting them go -very gently- he would never hurt me, I know that.

Slowly, I swirl around to indicate that I’m waking up and I sense his immediate guilt forming, thinking he woke me up.

“‘We there yet?” I ask quietly. He hums, demonstrating a yes.

“Yeah, just got here.” His soft voice radiated immediate warmth towards me. Being next to him makes me so happy, I don’t want that to end, ever.

After hearing his words I stretched a bit then took the water bottle from the handle and took a sip of it when Eren suddenly hit the brakes. The cold water that was once flowing down my throat, is now all over my red outfit.

“That guy just stopped out of-“ he quickly cut himself off when he saw my soaked status.

“Oh my God, baby I’m so sorry, are you okay?” quickly, he tried to get tissues and I giggled lightly. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just water, It’ll dry in the chilly weather anyways.” He calmed down and I smiled at his actions. He’s such a caring person, I don’t know what I’ll do without him.

“Okay and…” he put an arm on my seat as he tried to park correctly. I smile as I take in his features, the white lights illustrating his demeanor. Gray piercing eyes glowing illuminatingly in the moon, he looked so handsome like that. With me. Next to me. Not away from me on the other side of the world.

“Done, let’s go, actually you stay here and I’ll move my bags, you can just get ready.” He knows that before I get out of the car I like to do a few things, it takes me three minutes to get ready. 

“Okay, I love you.” I chant as he smiles at me.

“I Love you more, gorgeous.” A blush forms on my cheeks at the cute nickname he gave me and I grin while looking at the mirror to get ready.

I fix some of my makeup then spray extra perfume. Once I’m done and feel satisfied I get out of the car only to see Eren already down with all two bags out. 

“Okay so these are the bags that I’ll let them take then this one,” he points to a smaller bag, “I’ll take with me on the flight, good?” I nod and walk over to him wrapping my hands around his neck.

“I love you.” I remind once again and he chuckles lightly then kisses my nose.

“I love you more.” 

——————-——————-——————-————-

“That’s it, I guess now I should go.” I said softly as he was showing his passport to the lady who let him in. This was the furthest I could go, I despise that.

“I’ll miss you so much, princess.” He smiles at me and I give him a sweet one back, God I’m going to miss him so much.

“Yeah, me too.” With one hand on my waist, the other lightly touches my cheek and I sigh contently at his movements, I don’t want this to ever end. His thumb rubs over my bottom lips and I instantaneously attach our lips together.

After a few seconds we both pull away and I sense tears threatening to leave my eyes. “I don’t want you to leave, Eren please don’t leave me.” I felt horrible about how selfish I am being but I was just voicing my inner thoughts, I really don’t want him to go.

“Angel…” he cooes and I feel a tear rip from my left eye. The salty, cold droplet against my skin creates a burning sensation. “You know that if that’s really what you want I can arrange it, right? If you don’t want me to go then just say it and I’ll tell them to find a drummer.”

My thoughts become clouded by supplemental cologne. I felt dizzy just hugging him. He leaned down, inching closer to me and kissed my lips.

The act of affection didn't surprise me but with tears in my eyes it was hard to focus on the kiss, so I didn't. I got lost in it.

“N-no, uh…” I stutter as I wipe my tears backing away from him completely, “I'm sorry, baby, I'm okay; plus, you have to follow your dreams, I am in no way going to stop you from that.” I smiled and he nodded lightly as he held my waist and pulled me into another hug.

After a few seconds, whilst tugging away he grabs my check and hands a light peck on my forehead.

“See you, handsome.” I chant and he laughs slightly at my enthusiastic tone.

“I’ll call you when I get there, pretty girl.” he chuckles then throws a wink my way as I fake a smile, afterwards I pull my eyes from his direction as they start to swell up with unstoppable tears.

——————-——————-——————-————-

I throw my shoes on the bedroom floor, my skirt and shirt along with it. On my bed lies an oversized hoodie, belonging to eren. I believe he left it here on purpose, for me. Without a second thought I put it on, feeling pleased with the warmth.

Just as I am about to finally close my eyes to sleep my phone rings in an obnoxiously loud way causing me to flinch and sigh heavily. “‘My baby💘👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 & miss hottie💞🥵 & gorgeous girl💕👩‍❤️‍👩 group chat....”’ I smile slightly at my phone seeing the screen and instantaneously grab my phone to answer.

“Heyy!” I intone and the three females wave at their screens.

“Hey y/n!” Historia exclaims as I smile at her zeal while she talks with me about her day. Mikasa is sitting there listening with the same bored expression on her face, on the other hand, Annie is quite invested in whatever is behind her screen. I’ll take a wild guess and say that she’s also listening to Armin and that's why she’s muted.

“Yeah, but overall it was quite boring, although Mikasa did prank me but that’s a different story.” She laughed and I did too. She’s so adorable. I love her innocence and that pretty smile of hers, it makes me so happy knowing I'm one of her best friends.

Historia and Mikasa are roommates; when they both wanted the same apartment yet found it to somehow cost a lot of money they decided on splitting the rent.

“God I can only imagine one of Mikasa’s pranks, I would honestly just faint, you’re scary as hell.” I add and all four of us chuckle as Mika glares at me but eventually crakes up with us.

After a while I check the time ‘11:16’ it reads, that means we’ve been talking for two and a half hours. I can't stall for sleep anymore.

“Guys, I'm gonna go to sleep now.” I question and they all nod consecutively.

“Love you, bye.” after i get i love you too’s from all of them i press the large red button covering my phone as it takes over the screen with a bright red making me squint lightly.

I change my LED lights to green, get under the blankets and slip my legs round the pillow as I shift into a more comfortable position.

“‘Ocean boy💙📖’ ‘Ocean boy💙📖’ ‘Ocean boy💙📖’” siri chants as i groan once again, armin your timing could not be more impeccable!

“Hello?” I answer with a grumble as I hear him chuckle lightly. He’s actually making me feel better by just hearing his voice.

“Asleep, sweetheart?” I nod but then remember that he can’t actually see me so I just let a light ‘mhm’ out as I shift again. Me and Armin's late night calls last endless hours so I'll be here for a while.

“Well, I won't keep you up too long, just wanted to ask if I can come over right now?” a smile makes itself onto my face and i eagerly answer,

“Of course, you’re always welcome at any time, that’s kind of why you have my keys, idiot.” he laughs at my retort and hangs up. That was quick… too quick.

I was also kind of expecting a reason as to why he’s spending the night here but I guess I'll get that when he comes over.

——————-——————-——————-————-

The sunshine radiated bright light into my eyes, stingin it ever so slightly. I stretch a bit when I feel a body lying next to me. An ample of cologne fills my nose; ‘212 vip black extra’, I can recognise it from miles away. 

“Armin?” I mumble, still half asleep. 

“Yeah?” he groans when I move a minor step away, “no, please i am finally able to sleep, stay.” he pouts so I giggle then get back under the covers.

After some minutes passing I pry myself away as I replace my body with a pillow.

“I can notice the difference between a pillow and you, sweetheart.” he chuckles, still lethargic and I grin at his comment but let him sleep as I get to the kitchen to cook breakfast up.

“‘Forever and always💓💍’ facetime ‘forever and always💓💍’ facetime ‘forever and always💓💍’ facetime” my phone annotates what’s written on the screen and my face lit up almost instantly.

I answer and put the phone against a bowl so I can check on the pancakes. “Hey, beautiful.” I hear his voice say, already feeling the smirk forming on his face, because of my blush,  even from millions of kilometers away.

“Hey, baby.” I answer as I set the timer and take a piece of gum as I start leaving the kitchen to sit on the couch.

“How was the flight?” I ask randomly as I see him tidying up his bed so he can go to sleep.

“Energy-consuming but it went smoothly, want to say hi?” I nod rapidly as he chuckles.

“y’all, say hi to y/n.” He announces and I wave at ymir, pieck, Sasha and Connie, they all do the same whilst smiling kindly.

Sasha ( the lead singer) is nibbling on some chips whilst her laptop is open, some light noise is heard so i'm assuming she’s on netflix. Ymir (band leader and lead Guitarist) is on facetime with someone, probably historia, and she’s also making her bed for bed. Connie (rhythm Guitarist) has his head on Sasha's lap, watching whatever she’s watching to probably entertain himself, nothing more, it looks as if he’s bored though. Pieck (bassist) is on her guitar playing loosely on some strings - probably out of fatigueness.

“Hey girl.” Sasha greets and I blow her a kiss.

“Hi y/n.” ymir accosts then goes back to historia quickly.

“Love, how are you?” Pieck salutes with a smile and her accent brings happiness over me, finally I can hear my best friend talk to me again. She was never free and especially now with the tour but at least I got to hear her again.

“y/n! How have you been? I've missed you, y/n/n.” Connie welcomes with a rhapsodic tone, he even called me by my nickname, which hardly anyone does.

“Hey guys, I'm doing great and I've missed you so much more, I can't wait to celebrate your tour when you come home.” I told them, they all smiled at me and thanked me as eren got out of this room and to his. They’re in a hotel until he is able to actually start the tour, which should be in two days tops.

“I miss you already.” I flatter. He laughs and then tells me ‘I miss you too’ in addition to that he, and I quote, ‘can’t live without me for that long’.

“And here I am thinking I am the one who’s going to be clingy.” he rolls his eyes at my sassy comment and we both burst out laughing.

“Y’all are way too loud.” I hear Armin groan from behind me as I laugh at his comment. Looking back at Eren, I see his face drop, I don't understand why though.

“Look, y/n, i’ll talk to you in the morning.” he quickly states and i give him a weird look but comply.

“Oh, okay then, I lo-” he hung up. There has never been one call where we didn't end it with affection, with one too many i love you’s, with too many compliments, with too many hope your day is absolutely amazing’s… what’s wrong?

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Armin says and I smile at him.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” he chuckles as i see him making two cups of coffee.

“It’s fine, I can make it. I was going to but eren called, you can just go watch something if you want.” I say as I walk up to the kitchen, but the two cups was already smelling fantastic. The smell of strong coffee beans was immaculate and it made me feel warm.

“Here.” he hands me my cup and a quick kiss on the forehead before grabbing a fork and flipping the pancakes that I forgot about completely. That is exactly why I let Eren cook everyday.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry armin, I’m horrible at this cooking thing.” I apologize laughing lightly to not sound too serious.

“Don’t worry, I do it for Annie everyday. Got used to it, sweetheart.” I nod and smile as he drinks the coffee in his hand whilst mailing breakfast and I just check Instagram.

~Jeagerbomb~ is active.

Why would he do that? Wherefore would he lie to me like that? I don’t even get why he’s so mad either, why is he making a big deal out of literally nothing!

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s with the long face?” Armin asks as he slouches next to me.

“Eren is ignoring me, he’s clearly active yet he wouldn’t talk to me because he ‘wants to sleep’ but he’s awake and scrolling through instagram,” i take a deep breath and keep going, “this is exactly what i was afraid of. I hate that he can just turn off our call at any time and I can't disagree and then not knowing what he’s doing all alone. But when we’re together I can get it out of him, I can convince him to tell me why he’s mad then we’ll fix it.” 

“y/n, Eren won’t stay mad at you for long, he never can. In the morning call him and check if everything is alright but for now you can’t be upset the whole day.” he reassures and I nod quietly.

“Enough about my problems, I want to know why you called me in the middle of the night like that and then said that you were finally able to sleep?”

“Me and annie got into a huge fight.” he explained, fidgeting with his fingers that were on his lap, “i tried fixing it but she wouldn’t listen to me, she kept saying how i don’t love her anymore and that she feels me drifting apart…” he zoned out for a second probably remembering exactly what happened.

“She even accused me of cheating on her.” I could see the tears sliding down his check as he quickly wiped them. “I love her, y/n, I really do, I don't understand why she doesn't trust me. I have never given her a reason not to, I mean, did I do something?" 

Armin looks heartbroken and it kills me that he feels like he did something wrong. Annie might be feeling insecure but it doesn't make sense to just lash out on armin like that.

“Why does she think you’re cheating?”

“I came home late yesterday and she automatically assumed the worst, I don't follow her logic though, she’s been very insecure lately which is driving me crazy. I just want her to trust me, y/n.” Practically feeling the tears he was letting go of, I hugged him tightly hoping to make him feel only a bit of reassurance. 

“Armin, I hope you don't mind me asking but why did you come home late?” he shuffled in his seat and let go of me.

“I was looking for a gift for our 2 year anniversary coming up this Wednesday, I couldn't tell her though, I kept begging her to just have some trust in me. It hurt seeing how easily she thought I could cheat on her. I give Annie everything I have and can give her, I don't know how else to prove my love to her.”

“I know Armin, I know, it's okay. Annie isnt stupid, she knows you would never do that to her, just give her sometime.” he nods and we stay in that position. It’s relaxing. Knowing that he is here for me, and me for him.

We spent the whole day together in my house. We did all kinds of things, sang a bit, danced around, baked up some brownies, had too many energy drinks and tried to call Annie but she didn't answer.

Once it was 09:30 pm, Armin went into the shower and I was on my phone, waiting for him so we could go buy some things from the grocery shop.

Scrolling through instagram i saw an article concerning Eren, normally i hated these but it actually caught my attention; ‘Eren Jeager seen with co-star Pieck Finger’. I can almost hear my heart thumping inside of my throat. It burns, badly. That isn’t true, it can’t be, Eren loves me. My first instinct is to call him but that thought is forgotten when Armin comes out of the shower, asking for something. He was still in a towel, one that covers his waist and the other around his hair as he moves it throughout.

The veins in his arms protruded beneath his pale skin, he’s drying his hair with the towel, clasping and unclasping his hand as an indication of comfort as he slid the towel on his hair down and into the laundry bin. 

“y/n, where’s my shirt?” he asks whilst his eyes are darting around. I nuzzled my face into the soft pillow case, tear stained cheeks leaving wet smears on the fabric. 

“You’ll find it on the kitchen counter.'' I sniffle lightly and hope he doesn't notice my broken voice. It was late, almost 10:00 pm and I'm here; curled in a loose ball under a stack of velvety blankets breaking down. I pulled the t-shirt I'm wearing over my nose as I heard him mutter a ‘thank you’ then get out to get changed. 

Taking a deep inhale and drowning myself in the sweet scent of my boyfriend’s t-shirt, or atleast, I hope he’s still my boyfriend. The t-shirt was one that he said was his favourite, it’s scent drove me fanatical as I kept taking more of it in, hoping all my worries would just fade into it.

“Incoming call from ‘jaegerbomb’,Incoming call from ‘jaegerbomb’,Incoming call from ‘jaegerbomb’” 

Hesitantly, my fingers scanned the phone a couple of times before I answered.

“Hey, y/n'' I hear from the other side of the phone. His voice doesn’t sound too enthusiastic but he also didn't seem bothered. No emotion.

“Hey, Eren.” I answer back and the line goes dead silent. He doesn't talk for about a minute, why did he call if he was just going to breathe into the phone the whole time?

“Oi, y/n, I still can’t find my shirt.” Armin approaches and my eyes go wide at what he says. This may be totally normal because I understand what’s happening but eren on the other hand, may understand it in a different way.

“Oh, try the living room.” he nodded and strolled away. I can practically hear Eren trying to control his temper because of what he heard but I know my answer assured him to some extent. I mean, I wouldn't answer armin if i was actually cheating.

“y/n what’s armin doing at your place?” The vexation is visible in each syllable he pronounces.

“He got into a fight with Annie last night, decided to stay at my place till they’re fine again.” I elaborate with insureness in my voice. I'm trying to sound as confident as possible but my throat becomes too dry to form assertive words.

“Couldn’t he stay in reiner’s or even Mikasa’s?” The annoyance was quite conspicuous as he keeps complaining.

“Eren! I can't kick him out because you’re somehow jealous, he is our best friend and in need of a place to stay. What would you do if I kicked you out?”

“Not stay at Annie's…” he mumbles and that was the last straw for me. 

“Excuse me?” I semi-yell into the phone, “are you saying that I should kick him out? Eren, he trusts me enough to tell me about his problems and for me to cooperate, how dare you even say that about your childhood best friend. He has been there for you every step of the way and this is how you repay him? By being a jealous boyfriend when he’s hurting?” exasperation ran through my blood as i let it out, he is being so unreasonable and i will not stand by this behavior.

“y/n, calm down! I’m just saying that it’s weird that he came to you. I don't like the idea of this happening without your boyfriend supervising.”

“You don't trust me?”

“What? No that’s not what I'm saying, I trust you y/n, wholeheartedly.”

“However, you have the audacity to say that you need to supervise me and armin’s hangouts?”

“Don't be like that, I don't mean it that way. I trust both of you, nonetheless, it just scares me that I'm not there, I mean…” he stops for a few seconds and I somehow make out a sniffle, “baby, what if you fall for him again? I wouldn't blame you, he's everything I'm not but I just don't want you to go. Please y/n, I don't want you to leave me.” 

“Eren,” my tone immediately softens at his change, he’s feeling insecure?

“I love you, okay?”

“Okay…” 

“No, I mean it. I love you more than i love myself and any human on this earth, i love you so much eren and i would never trade this for anyone else. I promise I'm not going anywhere, baby.” it shattered me, the fact that i have to say this to remind him how in love with him i am. He’s my everything, I would never give that up for any other human.

“I love you, angel.”

“I love you more.”

——————-——————-——————-————-

After me and eren caught up on everything else, assured each other and talked over some stuff, we ended the call as he was getting called into rehearsals.

“Hey, y/n.” I hear Armin's soft voice speak from behind the door as he slowly comes in and I let him enter. He is fully dressed but his hair is still wet and it looks really cute on him.

When eren mentioned me falling for armin ‘again’ he meant when we were both best friends long ago. Five years ago, I had the biggest crush  on Armin, it was known. Everyone knew it, even he did but we never confessed to one another, too cowardly to do so. I know he used to like me back though. We joke about the situation now, a small laugh; yet, eren never got over it. He always took it quite personally because Armin is ‘everything he isn't’ in his eyes. He’s always been insecure about that but I thought he trusted me, I thought he would let go of these worries if it’s me we’re talking about. I figured out worries are worries and he’ll feel that way. The only thing I can do is assure him and help him.

“Yeah?” I answer as I reopen twitter to have a chortle before going to bed.

“I'm sorry, for everything. Being a burden on both you and eren, for what happened with Annie, with how I'm disappointing you guys and everyone else. I'm so sorry.” The break in his voice was sorrowful as his eyes diverted the gaze from me to anything else around the room.

“No, oh my God. Armin you aren't a burden and definitely disappointing anyone. Annie is mad, for an invalid reason, it’s fine. If you heard anything, which I'm guessing you did, eren was also just furious with an invalid reasoning. And to me you are nowhere near a burden or such. Don't doubt yourself, ever.”

“Thank you, y/n. Thank you for all of this, making me stay over and your constant affirmation.” I smile slightly at him and get out of bed to hug him. We stay in the position for what feels like hours, his hands on my waist, my arms slung around his neck.

When we pull apart he looks into my eyes for a few seconds, his ocean blue eyes glowing enchantingly. They were beautiful, trancing, and I couldn't stop myself from being so intrigued by the stories behind them.

Suddenly, I snap out of the stupor I was once in. quickly, i push him away as we both pant lightly, the air seemed to become limited in the room as we both gain back our consciousness.

“y/n-”

“Armin-uh. I think I'll go to bed early. If you can't find anything in the fridge you’re welcome to go to the hypermarket. Goodnight.” he looks at the floor quietly as he moves out of my room.

I'm screwed.

I can't believe we just had a moment. No, absolutely not, just two friends hugging, that’s all. Eren will despise me, how can I be such a hypocrite? I have to tell him, I just have to.

Never mind, I won't tell him, he doesn't need to know anyways.

Silent. The room was cleansed and cleaned top to bottom whilst I was asleep. The lights are renewed, I can smell pastries from downstairs and (this next one is a shock) no one is sleeping next to me.

“Armin?” I call out loudly yet no one answers.

I get up, rubbing my eyes before noticing the large cup of hot coffee on my nightstand. The steam flowing, making sure to inform me that it was just made and brought to me.

Taking the cup of coffee in my hand, I saunter down the stairs deciding to take a sip of the perfectly made coffee. He made it just right and the way I like it, but it scares me knowing that after what happened yesterday night he still did it for me. Is he catching feelings again?

“Sweetheart, hey.” I cringe slightly at the name and I can practically feel his heart race at my reaction. He’s right here in front of me, calling me sweetheart and cooking breakfast after what happened yesterday? Unacceptable.

“I mean-- y/n.” it’s no secret he’s mentally face palming himself right now but i honestly find it adorable that he did that by just seeing my reaction.

“y/n, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened yesterday but I know that you’re infuriated by it and now won't talk to me. You even hate ‘sweetheart’ and I've called you that since we were like what? 14? I just don't want things to get weird between us, you’re my best friend, eren is my literal brother and Annie is my girlfriend. I just hope you aren't mad at me. I swear I'm not going to try anything of any sort. I'm going to Mikasa and Historia's place after breakfast, just wanted to do something as a thank you before i leave.” he ranted and i giggles softly when he finished, he;s so flustered by the time he’s done i find it a miracle he remembered to breath.

“Armin, you can stay as long as you want, honestly, don't worry about what happened. In fact, nothing happened at all, we’re best friends and I don't want to lose that. The nickname is very much acceptable, don't worry, I know you’re used to it.” he smiled and nodded then pulled me into a mug as i hugged back as the coffee mug in my hand jiggled.

We lug back from each other and beam at one another. Nothing wrong happened yesterday, why am I so worried?

——————-——————-——————-————-

“How was your day, angel?” Eren's deep voice filled my ear as I held the phone in a hand, the other picking out jewelry.

“Uneventful, me and Armin just spent the day together, Annie isn't answering him and he’s too scared to actually go there in case she kicks him out again or, worse,  breaks up with him.”

“I feel bad for him, I mean he didn't do anything really, maybe he should really go and test his luck.”

“Yeah, I think that’s the best option right now. He's trying to get ready, asked for a couple of your rings ‘cause he knows it’s something she likes.” he chuckles on the other end as a light laughter comes over me.

“Really want to swoon her over.”  he adds

“Found it!” i exclaimed as i found the set of rings that were just perfect for armin, they fit him perfectly and his style too, “Okay, let’s find him now.”

“Armin?” he pops into my room within a second with a tux put on (it looked really nice, may i add), he really cleaned up well; yet, his hair is still a mess. He can't do anything about his hair even if he tries.

“Here it is.” I call and he moves over to me as he takes the box with the set in it. He tries to pu it on but looks at me with wide eyes,

“What?”

“How do you even put all that on? That’s going to look horrible.”

“Are you doubting my skills, Arlert?” I test and eren laughs from the other side.

“Is that a challenge, jaeger? Okay then, I'll prove you both wrong.” they both chuckle and i take armin’s hand in mine, starting to move around the rings. It took three minutes but I did it, I got the best combination and how to put it. He looked great in my opinion.

“Woah, y/n, I seriously didn't give you enough credit.” Armin lets out a breath and I smile at his compliment.

“Okay time to send to eren!” I take my phone off of the table that has all of our jewelry on it then snap him a picture.

“You've done well, pretty girl.” he flatters once again and I smirk proudly.

“See? I told you guys.” Armin nods as eren hums and we both burst out in laughter suddenly.

“Okay, it’s getting late. Thank you for everything y/n, I couldn't have done any of this without you, not to mention I'd probably be homeless.” I nod and smile at him as he leaves the house. 

Everything, somehow, worked out in the end.

“Baby?”

“Yeah…” i answer, putting away the rest of the jewelry.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[lemonbalmgirl]

Life update & junk

[Fuck Summer]

If you also follow @upthewitchypunx, you'll have seen them posting about the RIDICULOUS heatwave we've been experiencing in the Pacific Northwest over the last few days. Things are finally cooling off a little (it's currently ~90° F) after the weekend. The high in Portland yesterday was 116° F, with Sunday being only slightly cooler.

I was able to avoid most of the highs by going up to visit a friend north of Seattle Friday-Sunday, but we came home Sunday afternoon and were obviously here in time for Monday. We were initially going to take Jackson's car, but he ended up renting a car instead because of issues with his AC (and thank goodness he did, because things would not have been pleasant with zero AC).

I made us take a selfie before we left, if only to prove that I got Violet to not be a hermit, at least for a few days.

[Medical junk]

The PAP scare originated with a doctor's appointment at the beginning of June. I was able to bring up a few different things that were on my mind, but which individually weren't enough warrant an appointment during the pandemic. Thing #1 was being due for a PAP test. #2 was ongoing sleep issues (like, years ongoing if I think about it) that were getting more frustrating. #3 was my increasing suspicions that I have ADHD symptoms. My doctor ordered a bevvy of blood tests to rule out any deficiencies that might be causing my issues & to have a new baseline. (The most standout result of those tests is that I'm a little iron-deficient, but not enough to be anemic or keep me from donating plasma. They're having me take a supplement.)

My doctor gave me referrals to the sleep clinic and to behavioral health and those are just now happening.

Last night I completed an at-home sleep study with a tracking watch, fingertip pulse oximeter, and breathing sensor taped to my chest. I ended up just doing it last night, despite coming off a record-breaking hot day, because it needed to be done within 72 hours of my receiving the study kit and I have a strong track record of procrastination & forgetting to do things. The kit will go back into the mail tomorrow to the sleep clinic. Not that I want to have more medical issues, but I kinda do hope they decide I have sleep apnea, because then there's a treatment option?

Tomorrow morning, I finally have an appointment with behavioral health clinician regarding ADHD. Waiting for this appointment has been stressful because there's been a lot of doubt as to whether it would get approved by my insurance, the state health plan (OHP), or not. My counselor has never seen an ADHD diagnostic appointment get approved by OHP, but her experience is only with her mental health center. My doctor didn't think there would be an issue with the appointment being denied, so maybe the trick is getting a medical referral rather than a mental health one? Idk.

I'm also not sure whether tomorrow is actually a diagnostic appointment or not. Basically, I was told I'd get referred, and then scheduled an appointment...and that's all the info I have. I'm going to try and be ready for anything, which means I need to pull together a list of why I think I might have ADHD, although I know that they might completely disregard whatever I bring with me (my counselor warned that they'll greatly weight answers to their own questions over what I've noticed on my own, which makes a certain amount of sense).

[Other Stuff]

My roommate will be starting a new job on Thursday, and I'm excited for both of us. I'm excited for her because the job is nearby, it meets her desire to work in the admin side of education, and her nieces will be attending the same school when they move up here in approximately a month.

I'm excited for me because my willpower to focus & get things done is crappy and variable at the best of times, but even worse since my roommate's been off work since January. If she's watching TV in the living room when I get up, it's oh so easy to just join her and stay on the couch for a couple of hours, which is approximately the same time period as when I have the most focus to do anything.

With her back out of the house for a chunk of time every day, I'm hoping to reestablish some semblance of a daily schedule and have more luck getting things done, like making jewelry for the late summer/fall vending events that start happening in...about 2 months. Oops.

For reading all that, here's a cat picture as a reward. ♥

[forgotten-daydreamer]

Ushijima or Tendo lol I'm okay with having them suffer. All the others?? No way in hell. SORRY NOT SORRY

⚠️ TW: blood and sickness.

Ushijima: 

・He can handle others being sick very well. He CANNOT handle himself being sick at all. His stoic façade crumbles as soon as he gets sick; he can’t help it. He’s never been one for asking for help, and yet whenever he’s not at his best he becomes  so frail-looking that everyone will automatically help him before even knowing what’s wrong. Yet, he’ll deny everything, even when his discomfort is obvious.

・Ushijima’s a loud, messy puker, and hates being sick as well: he will try to hold it down as long as he can, too freaked out and in denial. Being Tendou’s roommate is actually a good thing, though, because that boy will run back and forth to collect everything that’s needed, while also making a sprint to fetch Semi, who’s undeniably better at comforting people normally (Tendou always tries to make Ushijima laugh, but it’s not the best thing to do when your guts threaten to climb out of your mouth).

・ If his temperature’s any higher than 37°C, Ushijima gets incredibly sloppy and shaky to the point where he has to be helped when walking around. He doesn’t get sick often, though, but when he does, it hits him hard, and he’s forced to spend at least three days in bed, surrounded by utter silence and darkness. Tendou locks himself in the bathroom to study at night when Ushijima’s feverish, so that the light won’t bother his roommate.

・What he handles well are injuries: Ushijima broke his right wrist during his first year at Shiratorizawa, and nobody even noticed it until he left the dorm during the evening and came back a few hours later with a cast on. When his teammates and coach questioned him on it, he stated the facts without adding any unnecessary information, expression stoic as ever.

・When a teammate gets injured or sick, he will do anything in his power to reduce the pain, but he’s been accused of lacking sympathy, which is untrue: he does not downplay his friends’ complaints, but simply distinguishes between a real danger and mild discomfort, and avoids “fussing over” excessively for fear of fueling the injured’s anxiety, which could compromise the recovery. He’s not cynical nor cold, but simply very practical- maybe too practical, admittedly.

Tendou:

・He will never let anyone know when he’s sick and/or injured. He’d rather keep it for himself and push through it than worrying the others “in vain”. It’s hard to tell when he needs help, because he’s incredibly good at hiding his symptoms. This, of course, only causes them to hit him at full-force once he’s alone, when he and his roommate Ushijima have different classes. 

・Ushijima is a good caretaker, but to a pukey and/or feverish Tendou, the ace’s “insistence” is sometimes annoying, and he perceives it as “pity” rather than “worry”. That’s why, at least for the first few times when he got sick in front of him, Tendou’s always acted like a feral animal with his friend, only to apologise profusely once he healed. With time, he’s learnt to trust his roommate, and his other teammates as well.

・This man cannot stay still for a single moment. Even when he dislocated his shoulder in his second year and got benched for a whole month, he kept attending practise and running laps, rather than staying in bed to rest up. He’s one of those people who will take advantage of their “free time” (read: time during which they should rest) to do the chores meticulously and sleep less than what they normally do. Ushijima’s comforted by the fact that Tendou’s sickness/injury is never severe enough to completely shut him down, at least; still, he wished that his roommate would take better care in those situations.

・Once he lets his guard down, injured/sick Tendou gets super clingy and, thanks to a good amount of puppy-eyes and guilt-trippinng (he knows it’s unfair, but he can’t help it when he’s down), he will force everyone to cuddle him. Whenever someone (especially Ushijima) runs their thumb up from Tendou’s hairline to the middle of his eyebrows, he feels at peace.

・Having a very poor appetite also means having a poor diet; his body hasn’t seen vitamins that do not come from pills in years. Tendou’s never hungry enough to finish a whole tangerine after lunch, nor to drink a full glass of orange juice for breakfast, and when he forgets to take his supplements, he ends up feeling miserable and spent.

DON’T BE SORRY, ANON, I’M OKAY WITH HAVING THEM SUFFER AS WELL HEHE (and they’re among my faves so that...says a lot). My UshiTen shipper soul is vibin’. Thank you for these! Feel free to use these for your own fics, but please give credit.

[forthegothicheroine]

Rambling tarot stuff beneath the cut.

I learned tarot in college, from The Byronic Hero (current husband, then boyfriend.)  He was taught by his grandmother- it was supposed to be passed down from one generation of women to the next, but his sister wasn’t interested so she decided it was better to teach the boy than let the tradition die.

I’ve inherited some of her quirky readings- specifically, not doing reversals (she believed the tarot had enough cards to convey any meaning without needing to reverse things.)  She was second-generation Irish- I don’t know if she belonged to any specific folk tradition.  Still, doing something because somebody’s grandmother said to seems to me to be the way magic is supposed to work.

My husband is a skeptic in all things.  He has never found a problem reconciling this with tarot.

He taught me that decks have personalities, which seems to be born out by most tarot supplemental material.

I own an old copy of The Pictorial Key to the Tarot inherited from my father from his teenage magic phase (all Jews go through this.)

I did once read tarot semi-professionally for a Halloween event at a previous job.  I didn’t want to end up causing problems if I was wrong like Nancy Reagan’s astrologer, so I prefaced my reading by saying (in a sinister tone of voice) that I had no rational proof of this working but I’d often seen people say that a reading was frighteningly accurate (this is true.)

Do I have good intuition?  I don’t know.  It can’t hurt to work on it.

I don’t have a personal card that shows up in all my readings, but I at least aspire to The High Priestess.

My former roommate got really into playing traditional Italian tarot card games, so we would go to bars with a deck of cards and play them, and people would sometimes gather round to watch.  That was fun.

I started collecting tarot decks many years ago, very entranced by the different ways they displayed the symbolism.  I feel guilty about this, the way I feel guilty about every indulgence and pleasure I engage in.

@venusofsuburbia‘s advice to work through each card in a deck with a journal was so good!  Not only does it help with interpretation, but it makes me appreciate the art that goes into the cards.

I haven’t tried casting spells with tarot cards yet, but I want to try.  Maybe even curses, as long as they don’t involve death or physical injury.

78 Degrees of Wisdom is a great book for getting to know the cards, even if at the beginning I felt like I would never remember everything.

Judaism is pretty cut and dried when it comes to not doing witchcraft, but a lot of tarot youtubers say to invoke your personal spirit patron or deity, and, well...there’s only one god I feel I can invoke.  If god is against it, they won’t respond.  If god finds it a legitimate form of prayer, they can help me.  It’s up to them.

Meditating on individual cards is not a bad way to get me back into meditation, either.

I’ve dabbled in occult unsuccessfully since middle school, but sitting over my Sword in the Stone journal taking notes on the meanings of each card is the first time I’ve ever actually felt like a witch.  Just a little.  🧙‍♀️

[disastrousjest]

Confessions of 2020..

(tw: covid mention, mental health mention)

I wanted to post a little something that might put out some insight for my followers, friends, mutuals alike. With the recent battle I had with some personal blogs attacking me over some posts I made because of the images, regardless of the purpose of the post. I just wanted to let everyone aware of why that sent me over the edge and why I handled it the way I did. Please note: I will not be apologizing for what I said, I do feel as though those that tried to reach out to me did not realize the purpose of the post. And while I understand now I should just tag things like that differently, I will not be apologizing for stating the fact that this is a rp  blog and I do not appreciate personal blogs attacking me over something like that. That being said, I will not be bullied off tumblr or this account. Because I love JJBA and Joseph Joestar. So for future reference, if you don’t like my content, unfollow it. Don’t bother sending me nasty remarks because I do not have the time for those types of things.  But I wanted to open the doorway to some insight for you all who have been paying attention or who just might care to know why I came off so incredibly outraged by that little bit. Because to me it was just the topping of a whole bunch of bullshit as is 2020.  This whole shithole of a year began in March. I got promoted at work to salary. That’s 35k a year my friends and that’s a hell of an upgrade for someone who barely makes a living wage right now and came from a working poor family. I really thought my life was gonna turn around. For once my fiance and I wouldn’t have to struggle so hard and we could afford to do everything we talked about doing. Well guess what--2 weeks after the announcement of my promotion my work place shut down because of Covid-19. Nothing new, lots of people and places were shut down. So fine, it pushed back my transfer and such. That wasn’t a big deal.  Enter June 2020. We re-open and my manager calls me into his office to talk to him about said mentioned promotion. They are suspending it, means it could be pushed back until we could lift the restrictions. Understandably so, I would just have to keep my old position, an hourly one, until they were called back. Now the months pass, June becomes July and enter August.  I find out about a week before the company announces it at the start of August, the position I was promoted to has been eliminated indefinitely. There is a chance they could come back, but right now they have no idea when or if that’ll happen. Which means that whole part of my department no longer exists at my place of work. I mean it’s a good thing I had my hourly position to fall back into or I’d lost my job. But that salary raise? Gone. 

Rewind back to July. I get very very VERY sick. And have to test for covid-19 the first time. Only because I am so sick and have a roommate with asthma I have to quarantine myself for 14 days. So 14 days I am locked in my bedroom alone, sleeping alone after 3 years of being with someone in bed. My meals are being left at the door for me and the only room I am allowed to enter is the bathroom, but only after it has been sanitized. Only for my results to come back negative. And now... we enter September 2020. Two major things started in September. The first, our old, senior dog became very ill. Started losing weight, wasn’t eating, losing hair, etc. So we knew his time was coming soon enough. Mid-September, I wake up one morning while our dog is dying mind you, and I cannot move my body from the waist down. Every time I tried, I’m greeted with a shot of pain straight up my spine that feels something like a hot poker being stabbed right through my spinal cord. Very very painful. I end up bed-ridden for a day or two because I cannot move. So once the pain subsides, I go see a chiropractor. Shocking (not really) announcement that my sway back--to which I was diagnosed with 10 years prior from a bad car accident--has gotten worse. What does  that mean exactly? Well--my spine bends in like a S for those who don’t know, which means my lower back dips inward deeper inside my body and my tail bone curves out. Now along that dip there are 3 or 4 vertebrae that are especially messed up. The bones have become staggered out of place on top of one another, just from the muscles pulling the bones out of shape since my spine doesn’t flex the way it’s supposed to anymore. (And it hasn’t for years). The pain before this was tolerable, it would ache from time to time but never like this. Now I am crippled more or less.  Here’s what that means: my mobility became extremely limited. At first in the am when I woke up I couldn’t move from the waist down for the first hour or two after I woke up. Then when I was finally able to move, I had to use my forearms to literally drag my lower body upright (still painful). Once I was able to manage that, I had to gage how strong my legs were to support my weight. And at first walking wasn’t terrible, but as the treatments began--doctor appointments, spinal adjustments, and physical therapy--to correct my spinal issue, nerve damage became clear. So now on top of this horrible pain, I had to deal with weak legs. Because of nerve damage, my right leg especially became weak. On days my back would hurt especially bad, my right knee would collapse out from under me. Which meant falling to the ground and not being able to stand up or walk for sometime there after.  Now imagine dealing with not being able to support your own body, not being able to hardly walk and your dog dying at the same time. So while I”m trying not to focus on the fact that my mobility is limiting me on what I can and can’t do, my fiance is upset about this. Our dog (then weighed about 100 or more pounds) could no longer walk either. His back legs and hips were giving out as his health declined. I did not have the strength in my own legs to help carry him because his weight hurt me too much and would cause me to collapse. I had to watch my fiance struggle with this practically all by herself while I sat on the floor, only able to use my arms to help with what I could because my legs and back were too weak to do the work.  This carried on into October. Our dog passes away and that alone is hard for me. I still kind of wonder if I wasn’t so weak when he got sick if I could have helped prolong his life just a little longer. I couldn’t hardly look at him when he passed and I couldn’t look at anyone else. I was very angry that my legs and back had failed me. They had failed everyone. So yes, that weight still lingers over me. It was so bad that when it came time to take turns digging his grave, I struggled with the shovel. Because I couldn’t stand up or be bent over to move the dirt, I got on my hands and knees and I took that shovel in my hands and used my arms and shoulders to dig. I wasn’t going to continue to be useless because of my limited mobility. I felt I already let him down and everyone else by not being able to help take care of him while he was still alive and sick. This was the least I could do.  November comes. Things are calm now, for a while. Not bad. I finally get some braces to help with my back issues (which still continue). I keep on with my physical therapy, trying to heal and help my fiance through her mourning over the dog. My mobility slowly begins to improve, though the doctor informs me it will be a very slow process. Small steps he says. But he is still confident he can fix my spine without back surgery so I can walk again, like a regular person. The limit I am able to stand and walk increases with the help of my braces and I begin taking herbal supplements and drinking herbal teas to increase the rate of my recovery. It seems to be working better than over the counter medication. The rest of 2020 seems promising.  Here comes December. On the night my fiance and I decide to go out on a date to celebrate our 5 years together. I get a phone call from work. One of my co-workers tested positive for Covid-19 and I was exposed. I am now suspended from work without pay until my test results come back negative. A real mood killer for the night. It gets better, we get home and despite the dinner being pretty somber the rest of the night seems fine. We watch movies and spend time together, finish wrapping gifts for Christmas. Then we realize the cat is missing. He’s been missing all day and all night. Nobody has seen him.  Two days prior, I had taken my cat to the vet because he was sick. Again, weight loss, losing hair, etc. I was worried he may be sick. Well it’s cold outside and here it’s been snowing so it’s very cold. I set something of mine outside and a literbox for smell. And then a plate of food. ....that was almost 4 days ago. There’s been not a sign of him. I called the county shelter and they didn’t have him. My fiance suggests he was sick so... maybe he got out of the house and went somewhere to die. My gut tells me he’s not coming back. And my heart is breaking, again. Again. I am wondering if I did something wrong. If I would have kept a better eye on him, I knew he wasn’t  feeling right. I somehow feel like I let him down.  And  then I logged into tumblr and saw those comments. Those asks people were sending about the damn images I posted for the 12 days to Christmas. And they just kept coming. I deleted the other ones, I stopped replying to them and finally just deleted the post. The Christmas spirit had been sucked out of me. I feel as though the world has began to mock me for believing the year could get better back in November. I know one thing, the holiday won’t be as bright this year. Not for me. I hope everyone stays safe and has a good holiday. Maybe 2021 will be more promising, but I”m not banking on it. Not anymore. Thanks for reading.  I hope you all understand now why I have been so slow with my replies lately. As my mood goes up and down because I have been struggling with the weight of all this and depression, just trying to hang on from losing hope that for one I will be able to walk again normally and then just the loss of my animals... everything. I can’t write and I refuse to send bad quality responses and starters for you all. I hope this puts some insight  on why I was so horribly upset the other day.   So thank you to all my friends and everyone who has been so patient with me on all my blogs. Jotaro (dmgdstar) and Johnny (rotatingstar) and this one of course. I will be catching up to everything very soon. I’ve already made a good dent in them.  Your patience is always appreciated. 

[brotanicalgarden]

TW: Mention of Su*cidal/Su*cidal Thoughts, S*xual Ass*ult, Abuse

I’ve taken a lot of time to think about, process, and honestly grieve this news. I don’t usually post things like this and I really don’t like to because I feel like I’m coming off as disingenuous but I really need to share this, for my own sake if nothing else.

Growing up I had a wall in my bedroom dedicated to The Killers. I pinned up their album covers, had posters, printed out memes and pictures. I even bought Hot Fuss 3 times (I wasn’t particularly financially literate between the ages of 12-16 but that’s a different issue). When I applied to Tufts I wrote my “What makes you happy” supplement about screaming along to Mr. Brightside in my bedroom after school. I even posted that essay on this blog after my first year at Tufts. The Killers’ music has always been a source of joy and comfort to me. 

The year Battle Born came out I turned 14. I didn’t have a good home life. This is going to get incredibly personal but it’s necessary to fully understand my current devastation. Both my parents were alcoholics. My mother was also very mentally ill and abusive. While she never hit me there were times where I would respond to her (usually a simple yes or no) or ask her something and should would pull me into the center of the living room. She would then swing her leg up as if to kick me in the face but would stop her foot just in front of me. Then she would lower her foot and say “Come on, I’ll give you the first hit” and lean her face forward so I could punch her. I never did. This is but an example of what I went through. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends after school or on the weekends. I had one friend I was allowed to see during the summer because my mom liked her mom. We stopped being friends in middle school, as often happens, and my mom screamed at me on and off for weeks about how I took away her only friend. Again, just a sample. I was deeply depressed throughout middle and high school. I started listening to The Killers when I was 11. The year Battle Born came out I had a suicide plan. I decided to wait until after Christmas because I didn’t want to traumatize my whole family. That’s when I received Battle Born. Be Still changed me. It felt like Brandon Flowers had somehow heard my thoughts and was singing to me. Typical 14 year old thing to think but still, it was enough to stop me from trying to kill myself. If I’m being honest, waiting for that album’s release and getting my hands on it gave me something to look forward to. It helped. Listening to it on repeat every day after school for months helped. I felt less alone when I listened to it.

Wonderful Wonderful dropped my freshman year of college. I hated Tufts. I had no friends, my roommate was snobby and judgmental, and I wanted to transfer. I was miserable. But I kept listening to Out Of My Mind and each time it reminded me how I had longed to go to Tufts. How hard I had worked to get in. It was literally the only school I wanted to go to. In the end, I didn’t transfer and I’ve always owed a little bit of why I stayed to that song.

I was so excited when I heard they were releasing a new album this year. When I found out that Tana Flowers’ C-PTSD was the inspiration for most of the songs I knew I would have to buy the album. I don’t talk about it much because I’m still having a hard time navigating and coming to terms with it, but my sophomore year at Tufts I was diagnosed with PTSD. As you can probably figure out from the previous paragraphs, my childhood was the main factor in my developing the illness. I had hoped that listening to Imploding The Mirage would help me feel less alone, like Battle Born had. And I can honestly say that based off of Blowback alone, it would have. No other song has resonated with or described me better. “Poor, white trash, and always type-cast.” That definitely described my life experience, especially at Tufts. I’m used to people implying the reason I got in is because I’m poor and queer. I fit “demographics.” “But she’s gonna break out boy you better know that.” And I sure as hell fucking did. Not only did I get into Tufts but I got a full ride and I’m on track to graduate with honors. So yeah, you could say that song meant a lot to me even though I only heard the Good Morning America version and not the album version. 

Throughout this pandemic, the economic crisis, and this entire shitshow of a year I have had Imploding The Mirage to look forward to. But I’m not going to buy the album. 

As a long time fan I am devastated and disgusted. I cannot conceptualize the disappointment I feel. And as a survivor of sexual assault I cannot support this band in any capacity moving forward. I’m someone who will never receive justice for what was done to me. I don’t have the necessary physical evidence to ensure that my assaulter and abuser gets banned from campus and I certainly cannot take them to court over it. As sad as it is, that’s probably true for the victims in The Killers case as well. We will probably never be able to get them the justice they deserve but we can stop supporting the people who caused their pain. It is the least we can do to show our support for them. 

I won’t buy the album. I also won’t request Mr. Brightside at any more parties or keep their poster on my dorm wall. I can’t listen to music created by a group of men I know were complicit in rape and sexual assault. I’m horrified to know that I’ve idolized people like this for over a decade. I encourage all of their fans to reconsider streaming their music or requesting them at parties or clubs in the future. 

You can argue all you want about how this is just what the industry is like. That doesn’t make it okay. And of course The Killers’ legal team is going to say that the claims are unfounded. That’s what they’re paid to do. We need to have more open discussions about the music industry and how people are affected by it and we need to be willing to ask for better. Have whatever thoughts and feelings you want about cancel culture but some people and things need to be canceled so we can create a better and safer society. The Killers and other bands/artists who use their fame to take advantage of and assault fans and workers don’t deserve to have their music heard.

All I can think about when I listen to their music is my own assault. I spent my formative years idolizing this band. I’m devastated for the victims involved. I’m devastated for myself. But mostly I’m devastated for 13 year old me wishing for better days while listening to Hot Fuss and how Earth shattering this news would be. How Earth shattering this news is. I’ve always had an answer to the question “who’s your favorite band?” and now I don’t. That’s devastating. For so many reasons. 

[mycatshuman]

The Demonologists

Chapter 3

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Warnings: brief illusion to sex, religion and mentions of God, fake haunting, bruising, poltergeist activity, being locked in a basement, brief mentions of injury, matches, sleep walking, demonic woman, terrified family, mentions of sleepless nights, mentions of previous possession and torture and molestation (very breifly mentioned) upside down cross, tearing blood, mentions of exorcism, mentions of previous attempted murder and suicide, explanation of demonic infestation, PLEASE let me know if I missed any. Most of these warnings are very briefly mentioned but I just wanted to be safe.

Word Count: 2, 707

More Chapters

Masterlist

Thank you so so much to @civilsounds17 please just remember to take the time you need. You don't have to worry about reading the docs right away. 💚💚💚💚

----

Roman smiled as he walked outside with a coat hanging over his arm. His husband and child were playing with the chickens as his mother-in-law fed them. Virgil was smiling as their son, Thomas grabbed a handful of food and tossed it on dry grass for the birds. Virgil looked up and noticed his husband. He smiled and stood, walking over to him, "Where are you going?" He asked.

"Oh, just going to the store to pick up a few things," he answered and hoped his small acting career paid off.

Virgil sighed. "Roman, in all the years we've been married, have you ever been able to lie to me?"

Roman closed his eyes with a resigned sigh, his lips twitched up in an almost fond smile for his husband. "Well, Father Gordon called and said he's got a case that he's like us to check out."

"And you told him you'd check it out yourself, didn't you?"

Roman lowered his head slightly, knowing what was coming. "Yeah."

Virgil shook his head with a sigh. "I'm coming with you."

Roman shook his head firmly. "No, Virgil-"

Virgil stood in front of his husband, staring him down with his icy blue colored eyes, a glint of determination. Roman knew his husband's mind was set. And he knew it would take a miracle to change it. "I know, Roman. Okay? I know you're worried it's gonna happen again."

Roman nodded, trying to stand his ground. "I am! I'm really worried about it! Virgil, please-" Virgil shook his head gently and placed his hands on Roman's shoulders. Roman shook his head. Trying to keep is resolve. "Maybe it's time we take a break. Write that book we were talking about."

Virgil took Roman's face in his hands, forcing his husband to look at him. "Ro? Do you remember what you said to me on our wedding night?"

Roman gave a suave smirk, "Can we do it again?"

Virgil rolled his eyes, fighting the smile working its way onto his face. "No, Roman. After that." Virgil took a deep breath, it always did take a lot for him to say sappy stuff. "You said that God brought us together for a reason, yeah?" Roman nodded. Virgil smiled at him fondly. "I'm pretty sure its not to write a book."

Roman let out a breath, finally surrendering. "Yeah. I guess."

Virgil pressed a quick kiss to Roman's cheek. "I'm gonna go get dressed."

--------

Virgil stood with a young man and women, the two were roommates who were experiencing terrifying disturbing noises throughout their home. "We've isolated the disturbances to the attic." The two people listened and glanced around the dark attic as they waited for something to jump out at them. "If you could just listen for a second,"

A deep groaning noise sounded throughout the room.

"That's it!" Valerie gasped.

Virgil smiled and nodded. "Do it again, Roman." He flashed the flashlight so that it shone on Roman as he leaned forward pressing down on a board, producing the sound again. "Right now it's just my weight. But you take the water coming off the pipe and combine that with the wind coming in through this broken window.." He shrugged and moved back to stand by Virgil. "The boards rubbed together as they expanded. It was heard all throughout the house because or the pipes, which link to the radiator."

"So," Terrance started. "This place isn't haunted."

Virgil shook his head with a gentle smile. "No, it rarely is. There's almost always a rational explanation for these things."

------

Patton took some iron supplements as he inspected another bruise along his collarbone. He sighed and turned to go back to his room and shivered. He frowned and grabbed his fluffy sky blue rope and pulled it on, tying it tightly around his waist. He began folding laundry, the small radio sitting in the corner playing some of his favorite songs as he went through the task calmly. He frowned as he heard running footsteps and small giggles out in the hallway. He turned and shut the radio off before walking to the doorway.

"Kiddos?" He called as he stepped out into the dark hallway. "What are you doing? It's way past your bedtime." Patton pushed his glasses up his nose and he inspected that hall and noticed no one. With a frown, he checked each room only to find that every kid was in bed. He let out a sigh. "My mind must be playing tricks on me."

A loud crash reverberated throughout the house and Patton raced to the railing to find all the pictures hung up along the stairs had fallen from their spots and lay at the bottom of the stairs with shards of glass littering the wood stairs and floor. Patton's eyes widened as he heard more running footsteps and giggles. He carefully moved his way down the stairs, careful to keep the glass away from his slippers. The clock ticked anxiously as he stepped into the living room and clicked on a lamp. Moving through the hall and past the basement door to check the kitchen, a creaking sound caused Patton to freeze. The door to the basement creaked open slowly behind him.

Patton turned his head slowly as he was drenched in an ice cold fear. He crept over to the door and quickly flipped the light switch. He glanced down the stairs and felt his heart race as he saw no shadow indication any physical being. He stepped back and held the door and prepared to slam it shut. "Whoever's down there, I’m locking you in no-" Patton felt someone shove him forward. He hit the wall and tumbled down the stairs as the door slammed shut. He landed on the hard floor with a grunt. He peered around the lit basement through cracked lenses with fear. No one was there. What was going on? Was he going crazy?

A small ball shot out from a pile of furniture and bounced towards Patton. He wasted no time in scrambling up the stairs as the light bulb burst. He pressed his back against the wall but remembered Logan leaving a box of matches somewhere on the top stair. He felt around and found them, he lifted the small cardboard box with shaking hands and pulled out a match and struck it on the side. A small light flared up in the darkness, leaving most of Patton's line of sight in pitch black shadows.

"Hey," a small breathy voice called. Patton froze, the flame flickered as his fingers whole violently. Giggles sounded."Wanna play hide and clap?" Out of the corner of Patton's eye, he noticed a pair of arms reach out beside him and clap twice. Patton screamed and dropped the match as it flared out and turned to pound on the door with tears streaming down his face. "HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE!"

-----

Elliot awoke to the sound of thumping from across the room. They sat up and looked up to see Kai, banging their head against the door. Elliot sighed and climbed out of bed. They walked over and bent down and waited until their siblings head was away from the doors to the wardrobe. They slid their hand over and caught Kai's forehead and prevented it from hitting the doors again. "Okay, Kai," they whispered as they began to gently lead their sibling over to the bed slowly. "Okay, come on. You can sleep here tonight." Elliot began tucking Kai into the bed only to freeze as the doors to the wardrobe thumped again. Elliot turned around slowly and watched as the doors opened slightly, then shut again. They bit their lip, wondering if they were seeing things. They cautiously made their way forward, inching closer to the big wooden closet slowly.

Behind them, Kai slowly sat up. Elliot yanked the doors to the wardrobe open and searched through their clothes hanging inside. There was no one inside. They frowned and tried to convince themselves that it was just their imagination. They whirled around as they heard a gasp and noticed Kai sitting up and staring up toward the ceiling. "Kai? What is it?" They whispered. Kai raised their arm and pointed at something above the wardrobe. Elliot's face twisted into apprehension as they turned slowly and fought against their instants telling them to run or not look. They looked up and saw this woman in a dirty white gown and ragged dark hair. Their eyes widened as the face of the women split with a malevolent grin. Elliot and Kai screamed and the woman screeched and leapt off the top of the wardrobe.  

-----

Logan climbed out of his car after a long week of work. He stopped as he heard a loud, shrill scream as it echoed across the yard. He dropped his things as he looked up at his house and raced inside. The first thing he noticed was the door to the basement rattling and the frantic sounds of his husband muffled by the wood. He hurriedly opened the door and Patton tumbled forward. The two parents wasted no time in flying up the stairs towards the frightened shrieks of their children. They barged into Elliot's room to find them thrashing violently on the floor as if something was attacking them. Logan and Patton raced to their child's side and tried to calm them as Kai and the other children raced into the room.

"What is going on here?" Logan called frantically, trying to find out what could have possibly caused his husband and two of his children to be scared out of their wits.

------

It had been a few weeks since Logan had come home to find his husband locked in the basement and two of his children being attacked by an unseen force. Since then, the family has all moved into the living room. The doors across the living room that led to the parlor have been tied shut. After countless sleepless nights caused by the doors banging all night in threes, they had to find a way to prevent them from continuing. The house has grown colder. No matter what Logan does, nothing keeps it warm. Patton and Logan were reaching the point of breaking.

Now, the two sat on the couch watching over their children as they slept and scouring the internet for anything that could help them. Soon, a link stood out to them. They clicked it and were taken to a nearby university's website. Logan quickly skimmed the page and found that it was advertising a lecture for a couple of professors who taught about the supernatural. Logan glanced at Patton. "Well, we know they most certainly are not homophobic," he whispered as he held his husband close to him. Patton nodded. "Yeah, that would definitely be good."

Logan pressed a kiss to Patton's temple before looking back at the page. "It says here they help with hauntings and such."

Patton hummed. "Maybe we can ask them for help?"

"Their next lecture is tomorrow. I can take off work so we can go, if you'd like."

"What about the kids?"

Logan frowned. "I see what you're saying. I don't want to leave them here alone either. Maybe, maybe we can take them to a friend's?"

Patton leaned his head against Logan's shoulder. "Yeah, I think that'll work. Gosh, I hope this will help."

Logan blinked tears out of his eyes, trying to keep himself together for Patton. "I know honey, I know."

-----

"Fear is defined as a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or eminence of danger," Roman spoke as he handed Toby a CD to put into the computer.  "It doesn't matter if its a ghost, a spirit, or entity, they all feed on it." Toby turned on the projector and a video appeared on screen showing an exorcism. "Take Maurice here. He was a French-Canadian farmer who had nothing but a third-grade education. After he was possessed, he spoke some of the best Latin I have ever heard. He even sometimes spoke it backwards." Roman bit his lip and cast a glance at Virgil who glanced at their students and shrugged.

"He had been molested and tortured repeatedly by his father. It made it easier for a dark spirit to make its home in this man and possess him."

On screen, the man's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he shook violently and sweat drenched his hair. "If you look into his eyes, you'll see him tearing blood," Virgil told the students. Onscreen, an image of Virgil patting the sweat off the man's face appeared as the camera panned over to catch sight of Virgil and Roman assisting in the exorcism. The man onscreen pulled his shirt up and upside down crosses seemed to push out from the inside. "And, like that," Virgil pointed to the man's stomach. "An upside down cross began to appear from within his body."

The video ended. "Toby, can you hit the lights?" Roman asked. The lights turned on and Virgil and Roman turned back to their students. "Any questions?"

A student in the front raised their hand. "Do you perform the exorcism personally?"

Roman shook his head. "I'm not authorized, so no. But I've assisted on many. You see,"

Virgil glanced as Roman continued. "An exorcism can be extremely dangerous, not just for the victim, but for everyone else in the room."

Another student raised their hand. "Yes?" Virgil asked, trying to hide the fact that he was feeling a little off.

"What happened to Maurice?"

Virgil's eyebrows drew together. "He tried to kill his wife but shot her in the arm instead. Then he turned the gun on himself."

"Maurice had a horribly troubled life," Roman picked up after his husband. "Not even an exorcism could bring him back."

"And that brings us to the three stages of demonic activity," Virgil started as he lifted the pull down screen to reveal three words written down on the board. "Infestation, oppression, and possession," he announced as he pointed to each.

"The infestation, that's the whisperings and footsteps. The feeling of another presence which will grow into oppression," Roman explained. "The second stage. This is where the victim, who is usually the most psychologically vulnerable, is targeted by an external force. It'll break the victims down and crush their will. Once they're in a weakened state, it leads into the final stage, possession."

In the back of the class, two men shared a glance as fear settled into their guts.

------

"Hey, Roman! Virgil!" Toby called as he jogged up with two men beside him.

Roman turned around and stopped packing their things into their car. "Yeah?"

"These two men here want to talk to you."

Virgil watched the two carefully as Toby left. "How can we help you?" He asked gently. The two men shared a glance and Virgil noticed how tightly they held each other's hands.

"There's something terrible in our house. Could you two come take a look?"

Roman froze. A case. He didn't know if it was real or not but the fear that something might happen to Virgil again seeped into his bones. "You know, its, uh, getting kind of late and we really need to be getting home."

The taller one, who wore glasses and tie shook his head. "No, Sir, I don't think you understand."

Roman sighed. "We do, there's normally a rational explanation-"

Virgil noticed the shorter one looked like he was on the verge of tears. "We have six children who are petrified. We're so afraid that it wants to hurt us."

"You have a child, wouldn't you do anything you could possible to protect them?"

"Please, at least take a look?"

Virgil nodded. "Of course we will.

Roman shot a glance at Virgil. What? Virgil no. But Roman knew that there was no stopping Virgil once he heard there were children involved. "Of course we will," he conceded.

The two men's faces lit up with hope. "Oh, thank you. Thank you so much."

Roman nodded with a smile. He just hoped nothing happened to his husband. He couldn't let him get hurt again.

-----

Everything: @spxced-oxt @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @roman-flair @lyditist

Demonologists: @bisexuallyinlove @under-the-blue-moonlight @jadeace115 @sweetsmalldog @thefancon10ent @mrtacothethird @ilovemygaydad

[queenofmahishmati]

50 Questions You've Never Been Asked

Tagged by @iwearplaids and @jimikkikammal 💕

What is the colour of your hairbrush? mahogany handle with dusty gold paddle (wow I sound fancy)

Name a food you never eat? Prawns and Shrimps cause I'll die.

Are you typically too warm or too cold? I'm one of those people who run extra warm no matter what, used to be called my ex's personal space heater. Although my hands are a different story, they grow super cold when it's cold...

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Wondering if I should get up and have something to drink or not... still doing it actually

What is your favourite candy bar? Alphenlibe. Was a sucker for that candy

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? IPL matches boohoo. I was once an idiot

What is the last thing you said out loud? Good nighty boo ~ to my roommate. He calls me wifey, I call him my boo. My gay best friend forever!!!! ((I'm still rolling around in my bed and it's 8am on Sunday))

What is your favourite ice cream? Banana and Cream from Häagen-Dazs. Plain chocolate too!!!!

What was the last thing you had to drink? Warm Choco milk. Helps me sleep

Do you like your wallet? I love mine cause my mom gifted it to me!!!!

What was the last thing you ate? Biryaaaani

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I did... actually bought them a little earlier and got the package last weekend.

The last sporting event you watched? a game of ice hockey in February I believe. Or was it January?

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Salted with butter. Plain and simple.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My Uni friends group chat. We had a 15 people zoom chat a little before that.  

Ever go camping? I used to back home. A LOT!!! Not yet here.

Do you take vitamins? I do. D3 and C supplements.  

Do you go to church every Sunday? uh nope never have I ever

Do you have a tan? I do. Or maybe it's just my burnt skin cause despite being brown, I burn in the sun very badly if I'm not wearing enough SPF

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Tough choice. Chinese food.

Do you drink your soda with a straw? Nope

What colour socks do you usually wear? Grey 

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I barely drive and even if I do, nope. Too careful.

What terrifies you? The current situation around the world. I wanna go home but I can't...

Look to your left, what do you see? a picture from of me and my mum with my tiny teddy bear and owl

What chore do you hate? EVERYTHING!!! But I also find cleaning therapeutic. I can shut off my mind and just let my hands do it

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Chris Hemsworth 

What’s your favourite soda? I don't drunk soda. Only coke— wait, is coke soda?? 

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? I go in cause I don't like drive-thrus

Who’s the last person you talked to? My mom last night over facetime just before I passed out 

Favourite cut of beef? Strip roast, I like them thin and quick to cook and eat 

Last song you listened to? Map of the soul: ON ~ BTS 

Last book you read? Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

Favourite day of the week? Wednesday ~ the exact day when the past and future weekends aren't too far away

Can you say the alphabet backwards? No. I mess up as soon as I get W

How do you like your coffee? with lots of milk and sugar, sometimes with a hint of cocoa powder ~ love me a latte

Favourite pair of shoes? Adidas Originals Superstar with gold tag and lace ends ~ Fancy!!! 

The time you normally go to bed? Sometime between 11 and Midnight.... 2am on weekends

The time you normally get up? 7:30am

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Both. I live the golden hour during sunrises and the dusty pink gold glow of sunsets

How many blankets on your bed? Right now two, I'm rolled up in them

Describe your kitchen plates: Plates? Got ten plain white round ones. About 8 smaller creamy ones with dotted lines, 4 large rectangular ones. The rest are all bowls. 

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? Pistachio flavoured Tequila

Do you play cards? YASSSSS you bet I do!!!

What colour is your car? the on I had back home is cherry red, my mom has it now. Don't have one here yet

Can you change a tire? IM SMALLER THAN A TIRE have you seen me????

Your favourite province? British Columbia, I looove this place

What did you do today that made someone else happy? today just started for me, so maybe yesterday, I made a random Zoom chat room and invited my uni friends, all of them, to have a chat for 4 hours. It was THE BEST!!! Everyone were happy by the end of it...

Favourite job you’ve ever had? I lived in Scotland shortly and worked there as a restorer. Had to work out in the cold sometimes or even rain, but I loved it.

How did you get your biggest scar? The one on the back of my ankle is like a huge wave with three ling stripes. During a summer vacation, I was playing with my cousins in the courtyard of our ancestral home. Our parents were cleaning out old things, so there was stuff everywhere. I ran across the courtyard, only to step on this boti that was laying on it side and the coconut grating end of it kind of grated my flesh out... I'm trying not to be graphic but yeah, I didn't even feel the pain until one of cousin screamed at all the blood dripping on the floor. Sage to say I scared the shit out of all the adults at home and then the village doctor by refusing to get it stitched. It healed in no time though, even without stitches. It's like, I was s vampire back then. Hmm...

Tagging @puppyloveblog24 @finnreyskywalker @carminavulcana @avani008 @rangdeenis @loveisyaariyan and anyone else who wants to do this!!!

[rusty-guitar-strings]

They Were Roommates (Human AU)

Summary: Remy can’t sleep, per usual. Insomnia perks. He also has no idea how to work through his feelings. Luckily, his roommate is willing to help with both of those things.

Rating: G

Pairing(s): Remile (Remy/Sleep x Emile Picani)

Word count: 2200

Warnings: mentions of pain, slight anxiety attack maybe?, a dude with his shirt off but nothing happens

——————————————————

3:19 AM. What a time to be alive.

Remy Dox was not fond of insomnia, nor was he fond of late nights, nor was he fond of unexplainable pain. But, as he had learned, life had a certain way of doing whatever it wanted. In Remy’s case, that meant cramming all of his literal least favorite things into a singular human being: himself. It was delightful, carrying painkillers everywhere and having almost half of the medicine cabinet dedicated solely to melatonin supplements. Really, he pitied his roommate more than himself, because while Remy had to deal with his issues, Emile had to deal with Remy dealing with his issues. The poor man did all he could and more, but not much could be done besides waiting out the pain or sleeping it off, the latter of which rarely happened. A sleep-deprived, pain-wracked diva wasn’t always the best thing to wake up to. 

Remy considered himself lucky, really. He didn’t have it as bad as some people. He could usually push through, and it didn’t hurt all of the time. Just most of the time. Admittedly, that wasn’t much better, but it was the attempt at positivity that counted. He found himself slowly turning into one of Emile’s uplifting Instagram posts. ‘Thinking positive is the first step to being happy!’

Staring blankly at the ceiling, sunglasses discarded on the nightstand, he decided to attempt his roommate’s method. Think positive. I’m positive this is the worst my shoulder and back have ever been. I’m positive I’ll get no sleep tonight. I’m positive Emile is going to make me stay home from work tomorrow. I’m positive- Remy suddenly winced and let out a low, muffled groan as the dull ache in his shoulder increased. He rolled onto his side, but the position hurt his shoulder still. He tried the other side, which made his back pain worse. He growled, frustration only increasing as he tossed and turned. Finally, he twisted onto his stomach and buried his face into his pillow and screamed as quietly as he could manage. He stayed that way for a while, shuddering and and having issues breathing. That was probably due to the pillow Remy was currently trying to suffocate himself with. He actually registered that the pillow was wet before he realized his eyes were watering and pulled back in alarm. It’s not even that bad! Why am I crying? He whined in frustration and rolled onto his back again, rubbing his eyes harshly and sniffing. Eventually he ended up on his side again in a tight ball as the pain increased tenfold. Did anyone say that anymore? Tenfold?

A light knock on the door startled Remy out of his thoughts and awakened his mind to the pain again, which wasn’t much appreciated. But given who it most likely was, he couldn’t be truly upset. Sure enough, the door was nudged open a sliver, and the tea-fanatic could almost make out the brown eyes peering through. “Rem?” A soft voice murmured from the door. “Are you still awake?”

“As always, hun.” Remy winked tiredly at the door, still flirty as ever when sleepless. Emile hypothesized that the lack of sleep only added to his brassy personality, and he and Logan stewed over this theory several times a day. “What brings you to my humble abode?”

“We live in the same house, Remy,” Emile reminded him gently, pushing the door open further to step inside. “And I could hear you tossing and turning from my room.”

“Did I wake you?” The shorter man sat up, genuinely a little worried. “I was trying to be quiet in my suffering.” This pulled a giggle from Emile, who made his way over to sit on the bed’s edge.

“It doesn’t matter if you woke me up or not, I want to help you.” He looked back over his shoulder at Remy, lacking in glasses for once, and the diva found it difficult to look away. “Is there anything you need? Is it sleeping troubles again?”

“What else would it be?” Remy rested his chin in his hands, making a sour face at the pain it caused. You’d think he’d be used to it by now. But alas, as Roman would say, it was not so.

“That,” Picani pointed out, tone low. Even at the current, blasphemously early time, his eyes were bright and shining with worry. “Did you hurt yourself? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“A little,” Remy admitted quietly, though it wasn’t even specified which statement he was responding to. He found himself tearing up a little bit at even just being reminded of crying. That was one thing about Remy. Once he’d already broken down, almost anything could set it off again. He studied the stitches of his blanket in painful, awkward silence, chest tight. It was like the air in the room suddenly thickened and refused to enter his lungs, or his mouth grew smaller or something. Inhaling was like trying to drink in oxygen through a straw.

“Steady, Rem. I need you to breathe slowly. You’re okay, everything’s fine.” Gentle hands rested on Remy’s shoulders, guiding him in a breathing pattern he knew almost by heart. Breathe in for four seconds. Hold your breath for seven seconds. Breathe out for eight seconds. He could hear Picani echoing the words faintly. Four, seven, eight. Four, seven, eight. To think something to small could be such a big issue for some people. They couldn’t breathe normally and sometimes couldn’t breathe without help. Remy was lucky, really. “Focus,” Emile murmured. “Four... seven... eight. There you go, you’re doing fine.” Personally, Remy thought he was doing fabulously, but he supposed that was a matter of opinion. Four, seven, eight. Four, seven, eight. After a few more minutes, he was able to breathe correctly without thinking too much about it. “How are you feeling?” His roommate squeezed his shoulders just a little, but it was enough to make Remy flinch. Emile removed one hand to gently tilt the smaller’s chin upward. “Look at me,” he urged softly.

“That’s not difficult, sweetheart,” Remy whispered with a small smirk, rolling his free shoulder and shuddering at the ache. Emile smiled a little bit, letting go of his roommate’s jaw to push back some of the hair falling in his eyes.

“What hurts?” He asked softly.

“My heart.”

Picani giggled. “I’m trying to be serious, Rem!”

“If you’re Sirius, does that make me Remus?”

Emile let out a little snort in his laughter and Remy felt the heat rise in his face. He struggled to keep on the smug look. After a moment, his friend managed to compose himself. “Really, Remy. Please talk to me. I can tell something’s hurting you, and I just want to help.”

There was a brief moment of silence in which Remy considered attempting to lie and play everything off as just exhaustion. His gaze lowered to the blanket again. “...my back,” he explained quietly, for once admitting defeat. It felt strange and blank to be open with someone, but oddly... refreshing. “I get pain in my back and shoulders a lot, maybe from work I guess? It’s kinda in the upper back and right shoulder at the moment but it varies from day to day. It doesn’t always bother me but it’s pretty frequent. It’s not that bad though, just kind of an ache.” Remy shut his mouth and wiped his face, mustering a shaky laugh. “I’m talking a lot. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you told me.” Emile looked worried, pulling away from Remy. “Was I hurting you earlier? Is that why you were flinching?”

“Just a little. It wasn’t bad, I promise.” He smiled tiredly. “Sorry for keeping you up with me, girl. I know it’s not any fun.”

“I’m here to help, Remy. I think getting to be with you is pretty fun in itself.” Emile smiled in return, the Picani-smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes and lit up his entire face and definitely didn’t make Remy swoon. Not one bit. He shivered a little and smirked.

“I’m flattered, Picani.”

“Are you cold?” The smile faded into a worried, pout-like frown that was equally as cute.

“Are you offering to cuddle with me, sugar?” Remy grinned smugly.

“If you want me to!” His roommate looked suddenly excited, and Remy was a little stunned.

Oh. Well, okay. This could work.

Remy laid down on his side, stiffening a little when he felt the bed shift beneath him. Light hands roamed his back, thumbs settling to press lightly between his shoulder blades as Emile’s palms and fingers worked the tension from his shoulders. Caught by surprise, Remy flushed again to the point where he thought he might pass out. It didn’t help when Emile asked him to take his shirt off. “Heyy...moving a little fast now, aren’t we, hun?” Remy laughed nervously.

“Oh, hush. You can say no. I just want to be able to rub your back better.” Picani moved backward a little to give his roommate space.

“Really? Because it seems to me like you just want to get me out of my shirt.” Remy laughed.

“No, that’s just a plus.”

There were a few long seconds of silence before Remy heard a muffled whine from behind him. “Oh my gosh why did I say that?!”

Choking back a laugh, Remy rolled over and took his roommate’s hands gently. “Em, hey, hey, it’s fine! That was really smooth, I just didn’t expect that from you.”

Emile, bless his soul, had the most adorable flush across his face and looked like he wished he could sink into the bed and never come back up. “It slipped out.”

“I don’t mind it, sweetheart, I promise.” He let go of Emile’s hands to shimmy out of his shirt, but got stuck halfway. “Ow.”

There was a little snicker from in front of him. “Do you need some help, Rem?”

“Please.” The shirt was tugged off carefully and Remy was met with the sight of his grinning friend. He managed an awkward smile. “Thanks.” Then he rolled over quickly to try and avoid any more awkwardness. He shivered a little as Emile’s fingers ghosted lightly across his skin before settling again and working into his strained muscles. He couldn’t keep back the relieved sigh, eyelids drooping.

“Is this good?” Remy could hear the smile in Emile’s voice, and it made him smile a little as well.

“ ‘s great, love. Thanks.” He hummed and closed his eyes, just realizing how sore they were. He felt a hand brushing through his hair just before he finally, finally drifted off to sleep.

•*•

Remy was startled awake later in the morning by a face pressed into the back of his neck and arms looped around his waist, and he had a few moments of panic before he remembered the events of the previous night. He felt remarkably more rested than he ever recalled being before. “Em?” He murmured, shifting a little bit. “Emile, hun, lemme go, I need to get to work.”

The grip on his waist tightened, and that was when Remy realized his roommate was, in fact, not asleep. He knew exactly what he was doing. “Stay here,” he urged softly.

“I need to go to work, though believe me, I’d be more than happy to stay with you.” Remy squirmed in his friend’s grasp. “Come on, sugarplum...”

“Please..?” Picani pressed further, hugging Remy close. He was much stronger than most people gave him credit for. “I’ll make you tea...”

“I can get tea at work though,” the diva excused, persisting in his struggle.

“Maybe, but it’s not my tea.” Emile yawned, breath brushing his roommate’s neck and making him shudder. “And it’s more expensive. And you’ll have to leave.”

Remy froze. “You make a valid argument.” He paused, thinking for a moment. “Green tea?”

“With a smackeral of honey,” Emile agreed, smiling a little.

“Sold.”

Picani giggled and let go. “Perfect! I already called to let your boss know you wouldn’t be coming in, and my only client today had to reschedule.”

“So you were planning this all along?”

“Pretty much.” Emile slid out of the bed and came around to Remy’s side, giving him a wink. Remy sat up slightly, smirking at the gesture.

“I think I’m beginning to rub off on you, hun.” He snickered, and his friend smiled.

“A little bit,” he agreed cheerily. “But I don’t think I mind.” He bent down a little and brushed Remy’s hair back to press a soft, brief kiss to his forehead. He scampered out of the room, leaving a flustered and gaping Remy in his wake. “Be back with your tea in a jiffy!”

Remy stared out the door his roommate had left through, struggling to process what had just happened. Oh. That was certainly something. I don’t think I’d mind it happening again. The voice in the back of his head was screaming with joy, and he decided he definitely, definitely wanted to do that again.

Perhaps Remy would have to refer to Emile as more than just his roommate.

[main-redironrouge]

I had my daughter!

So, about a week and a half ago I had my daughter early. We've been home for a bit now and it's been all about working out a routine with breastfeeding and taking care of my toddler and her at the same time, especially when I'm alone when my husband is at work. About two days into her life my newborn caught a cold, most likely from my toddler who is also sick. Thankfully, it's just a cold, but its caused us to routinely return to her doctor for weight check ups and supplementing to keep her from losing weight. The cold is kicking her butt and, by extension, mine. She's super fussy and super hard to make a routine with.

Bright side is that I breastfeed my kids and it gives me ample time to write through out the day. Which I've been doing. My recovery has made me more bed bound than I expected it to as well, so I spend a lot of it writing or watching Netflix with my kiddos. Which means I am working on my fanfiction more now that I'm finally home.

But I've been away from home for so long that I'm still trying to just relax here and enjoy finally being with my toddler every day and in my own surroundings. Also enjoying that I can wear no pants in freedom of any roommate seeing me. Anyway, home is relaxing. The food is better, too.

I'll be fully recovered from popping out this watermelon sized human in no time and posting my fanfiction again! Promise :)

[merrylittlehogwartsrp]

Happy Holidays, Emily! We are thrilled to “invite” Dean Thomas (fc Keiynan Lonsdale  ) back to Hogsmeade for a little forced Winter Cheer.  We particularly liked how Dean was set up for growth in this application--not necessarily launching a career post-Battle of Hogwarts and still learning about himself. Dean’s roommate is: Harry Potter!

OOC DETAILS:

NICKNAME: Emily

AGE (must be 18+): A grandma in the rp world

PRONOUNS: She/her

ACTIVITY ESTIMATE: I work on political campaigns and there is a race I am starting in January which kills my time immensely, but right now I have ample free time and can lurk/plot the whole time!

CHARACTER DETAILS:

FULL NAME & NICKNAMES: Dean Allen Thomas

BIRTHDATE: October 1st 1979 Dean is a FIRM Libra. “"The balanced beautifier of the horoscope family, Libra energy inspires us to seek peace, harmony and cooperation. The essence of Libra energy is charming, lovable, fair, sincere, sharing, beautiful and hopelessly romantic.“

BLOOD-STATUS: Half-Blood, although he grew up believing he was Muggle-born

* GENDER IDENTITY: Cisgender male (although I would like to eventually explore a world where Dean could be more open to referring to himself as agender or gender fluid)

* GENDER PRESENTATION/PRONOUNS: Fairly masculine, he/him

* SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Dean is bisexual, although he very only recently fully came to terms with this.

* NOTE: this does not have to correspond to canon, or to the temporary pronouns in the bios!

CHARACTER SITUATION:

OCCUPATION: Dean works at a sporting goods store near his house and while it is not his ideal job, it does leave him with plenty of time to focus on his art. This is the main way he copes with the last three years.

HOUSING: He lives in a tiny, tiny flat in Clapton. It’s about a thirty minute train ride to his home, and while he would like to stay at home, there simply isn’t enough room now that the girls are growing. Not to mention, he quite enjoys his alone time away from the chaos of his family occasionally.

SOCIAL STANDING: Dean still can’t believe that he is in The Order of Merlin, First Class, thank you very much. It’s a bit of a wild title, especially for someone that people consider Muggle-born. Dean is known as a friendly face, and will always be a friend to those who need it, but his name usually doesn’t garner recognition. And frankly, he prefers to keep it that way.

CHARACTER CONFIGURATION:

TALENTS/WEAKNESSES +Artistically inclined + Athletic, which made him a great addition as a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team -Potions. He could never get the portions right, not to mention he thought it a dull subject -Not a strong leader

STRENGTHS/FLAWS  + Bright; always knows just what to do or say to cheer someone up + Huge empath; keen ability to improve others moods + Loyal like no other person, whether that be to people or sports teams. He is your #1 Fan - Terrible at making decisions, which causes him to go with the flow a lot of the time -Self-less, which can lead to putting himself second and the needs of others first. Also causes a bit of a self-confidence issue

CHARACTER HISTORY: 

FAMILY BACKGROUND Being raised by a single Muggle mother, Dean learned early on to dislike his father, Alexander, with every fiber of his being. His parents had married young, and he always blamed their split on that. Alexander was too young, he got cold feet. Couldn’t handle a baby anymore, let alone being a father. While Martha never gave him an outright reason to dislike his father, Dean was the one acting out about it. Looking back, it was probably because he was compensating for his mother’s own nonchalance on the subject. Why wasn’t she upset? Why wasn’t she screaming? He later realized that her spending hours in front of the television set alone was her own version of screaming.

They had been fine. Martha and Dean had built a life together, just the two of them. They lived in a tiny flat and ate tiny meals and wrapped each other in tiny blankets and only each other could feel the warmth. The introduction of Graham Richards into Dean’s life was not a welcomed one. They met at his produce shop, sharing casual flirtations down the turnip aisle. Nothing made her laugh as much as those cabbages.

As Graham started spending more time in their flat, Dean started coming to terms with the idea that maybe he wasn’t all that bad. He had shit taste in sports, sure, but he was a great cook. And he made Martha happy. Damn, did he make her smile.

It took him eight years to propose to Martha, and by that point it came as no shock to anyone. They were already basically married, having moved in together years ago. Graham was basically already Dean’s father, having helped him through a break up and always supporting him in his art projects. Veronica and Bridget were already welcomed additions into the family, and shortly after baby Sam was no different.

Soon his tiny flat became a spacious three-bedroom. His tiny meals became three-course dinners. The blankets became shelters for movie nights and a home for Dean’s stories from school.

Since his father’s death, Dean harbors serious regret for his treatment of the man he barely remembers, mainly because of memories he lost and resentment he held. He wants to tell his father he is proud of him. That he understands all that he did in order to protect his family. That he would have done the exact same thing. While he can’t look back on many memories, he will always wonder what if.

LIFE DURING THE WAR: Not being able to return to Hogwarts for his final year was devastating to Dean. He loved his friends and he loved Quidditch and he loved the charmed sugar spoon that he used each morning in the Great Hall for breakfast. The fact that he was Muggle-born should not have affected his ability to attend school, but he quickly learned it was for his own good. He would stay up late and write letters his father would never be able to read. In those letters, Dean promised he would get through all this. He promised that, eventually, there would be happiness for at least one of them.

Dean wasn’t keen on having to fight in a war in his home away from home, but like a true Gryffindor, he pummeled himself headfirst into the throws of Battle. Finally, he felt welcomed again in this world. Perhaps it was the rush of finally seeing his friends after all this time (physically there, if mentally in pieces) and seeing Harry—his old friend, his sole source of hope when no one would believe that there was a reason to hope anymore—do what’s right that continued to propel him forward after all this time.

LAST THREE YEARS

Dean chose to fully immerse himself in the Muggle world. In the Muggle word, they can’t force him to run away from his friends and family. He loves being a wizard of course, but his last year on the run really took its toll on him. He still wakes up with nightmares when a neighbor makes too much noise. He is constantly afraid of being alone, as he was alone for most of his Final Year. Dean doesn’t want to think about life in terms of goals because, to be quite honest, he really has no idea what he wants to do after Hogwarts. A small part of him didnt even think he’d make it this far. Instead, he has a lot of different interests and ideas, but nothing that is jumping out at him right now. The Ministry of Magic is urging those in The Order of Merlin First Class to follow the career path of an Auror. And there is a part of him that feels he could make a great Healer or Auror, and another part of him that longs to be a Quidditch star, and somewhere inbetween there is his desire to paint and draw for a living. The more he thinks about it the more overwhelmed he gets, so he conveniently chooses not to think about it. His goal right now is a lot simpler than that–if he is forced to come back to Hogsmeade, enjoy this festive Holiday celebration before he can’t anymore.

HOLIDAY DETAILS:

The Thomases were never big Christmas-celebrators in the whole Navity-set-and-going-to-church kind of way, but they do spend copious amounts of time watching Holiday specials that come on the telly and they have a tree with an unhealthy amount of tinsel. Dean’s step-father is a fantastic baker and Dean has a competition with him and his younger sister that involves cooking competitions and ginger snaps. His mother always ends up declaring it a tie because she can’t decide. He always valued coming home for the holidays simply because he recognized the traditions he was making with his half-sisters and knew that he wanted to be as involved as he possibly could. Being away from these traditions is enough reason for him not to want to go back to Hogsmeade, but he felt like he couldn’t say no. They crammed in as many of these traditions as they could before sending Dean off on his own.

OOC SUPPLEMENT:

SHIPS:  I will not lie and say that Deamus makes me weep because clueless best friends to lovers hits a little too close to home for me, but I am also open to alternatives! Especially when Chemistry and Drama are thrown into the mix! Also super interested to flesh out Ginny and Dean’s past relationship, as I feel like that was not explored enough.

CHANGES: This is a very tiny tiny change, but I do think Dean will be excited to go to Hogsmeade. I always kind of thought of him as that guy who would actually want to go to a high school reunion of sorts, and I think it’s because he just loves his friends so gosh darn much!! He was robbed of a proper “Senior Year” and spent most of that year on the run. As a result, I think that he is spending a good portion of his life making up for lost time. Also because the kid loves a party, and a distraction.

FACECLAIM: Truly having a tough time debating between Keiynan Lonsdale and Alfie Enoch. I would not be mad with either!

[canaryatlaw]

okay, well today was fine. I got two early-ish phone calls and couldn't fall back asleep (I didn't have court until 10 so I had some time to kill) so I made exactly one blueberry pancake, because that was all the pancake mix I had haha. i logged on for court at 10 and it was over quickly enough. I really didn't have much else to do, so I just did some random stuff here and there and otherwise occupied myself with various things. Around 5 I started cooking dinner. this is our first week with the new meal prep service we're trying, and the recipe was turkey fajita bowls. pretty good overall, though it involved a decent amount of prep (specifically cutting up a lot of vegetables, none of which I actually liked, so I wasn't crazy about that) and the amount of rice they provided ended up being very small, so I had to supplement it with some I had. they provided two spice packets- one was "southwestern spice" and the other just chili powder, I knew the chili powder was going to be a no for me, and I took one sniff of the southwestern spice and knew that was going to be a no, so I pulled out some taco seasoning I had on hand and used that instead. I offered the spice packet to my roommate for her portion with the warning not to use too much, but she put a decent amount on anyway and was suffering through some of the meal, lol. I'm glad I know my limits at least when it comes to this specific area. the rest of the night was pretty chill, the cat finally broke into my roommate's room after living here for a month and a half (she has a cat allergy so she hasn't let the cat in her room) so she had to wash all her bedding, which caused her to stay up a bit later with me, so that was nice at least, even though I felt bad about the cat. and yeah, eventually she went to bed, I stayed up a little while longer and then started getting ready for bed, and now I'm here and ready for bed, because it's somehow almost 2 am and of course I have to go into the office tomorrow, yay! ugh. Goodnight friends. Hope your Monday didn't suck.